#and end up getting flashbacks to both stuff from the summer and that one incident with the dentist that traumatised us to all fuck

[thethingything]

cricopharyngeal spasm my fucking beloathed. it keeps flaring up really bad every time I have to swallow a pill and then it feels sort of like the pill is stuck in my throat and sort of like someone's trying to strangle me and like, logically I know the pill isn't stuck and I'm fine but god it sucks.

I have to take pain meds several times a day again because we have multiple teeth with cavities and I'm getting closer and closer to being in as much pain as I was back in June and I'm taking almost as much pain medication again and I get panicky every time the pain flares up and I have to take them and I'm sure that's not helping with the cricopharyngeal spasm either because it's usually triggered by stress.

we've got some kind of cold or something and getting showered earlier completely wiped us out and then we've also got all this other shit and I just want a fucking break from whatever the fuck has been happening with our health this year

[mageofseven]

Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with your writing! I have a little request if you don’t mind. The brothers (and undateables I’d you want to) finding MC bruised and beaten and later discovering they got into a fight with another demon. Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!

Awww thank you so much! I might end up doing the Undateables in another post, but I'll just stick to the Brothers for this one.

And thanks for requesting 😊

TWs: violence, vague s*xual assault

Spoiler warning: 1st year spoilers in Lucifer's and vaguely in Belphie's section

~

Lucifer:

Was checking out the area under Diavolo's orders.

Apparently there have been some people sneaking around in the old Colosseum and normal methods to keep other demons away from the historical landmark have been futile.

That and word has made it's way that some criminals have been using the place to secretly make dealings

So when he got there, he had expected to find some such people lurking around

Instead he found MC on the ground in the center, bruised and bleeding with their arm bent in a very concerning way.

He rushed up to them, calling their name and checking them for signs of life.

Honestly, the man was having major flashbacks to the day he lost his sister.

This was exactly where Lilith fell and Lucifer had to watch his sister, all broken and in pain until Diavolo came and he had to make the deal that changed everything

The deal that eventually led to MC's existence

Yet here they were now, in exactly the same place and state and the demon couldn't help but break down for a minute with panic he tried so hard to conceal.

The human let out a groan and the man could only sigh in relief.

"MC, oh thank the Devil..."

"Luce...?"

"You'll be alright." He promised. "I'll take you over to have Simeon heal you."

Despite the internal panic and flashbacks of such a traumatic event, he still handled the situation well.

Once MC was all healed up, he asked them what happened.

Apparently, they found a note that someone had stuffed in their school bag, asking for them to meet at the Colosseum.

They thought it was weird, but curiosity had gotten the better of them so they went and were attacked while exploring the ancient building.

The demon had meant to kill her, but sensed Lucifer approaching so they dropped the human and ran for it.

Ends up getting as much info from them about the attacker as he can.

Even if MC doesn't want the demon to die for what they did, they get no say in the matter.

Because of their status as exchange student, this attack is a political issue and the consequences Lord Diavolo warned his people about originally must be put into play.

Politics aside though, Lucifer would never let any being who hurt MC get away with it.

Becomes a lot stricter with what they can and cannot do

Like, they're not even allowed to go for a walk around the block without either him or his brothers accompanying them.

Even changes up their class schedule to make sure they have at least one of his brothers with them per class and they even have to walk MC to their next one.

Any arguments about this from MC or the brothers fall on deaf ears.

He will never let anyone lay a hand on them again.

Mammon:

School day had ended and he was on his way to pick MC up from their class.

Since Lucifer decided the day they came that he was responsible for their safety, he always had to do stuff like this.

He was late today though since his teacher held him back after class.

Blah blah F on the test, blahh blah summer school, blaah blahh blaaaah. Whatever man; he wasn't listening

And because of them, he was late. So much so that when he arrived at the human's classroom, they weren't there.

Lowkey panicked.

Shit. Shit shit shit, where'd they go???

Practically runs in the halls trying to find them

Knows Lucifer will have his head for this if he can't track 'em down.

Ends up hearing some kind of ruckus in the courtyard

And finds a big group of students forming a circle and chanting "Fight!"

"Oh yell!" Is momentarily distracted from his problem and joins the group. "Fight! Fight! Fight--."

Oh shit. That's his human in the circle!

Mammon's brain just started buffering as he watched MC dodge and weave, even getting some good hits in. The second brother was actually pretty impressed.

The lower demon in the fight eventually lost his footing and fell to the ground, giving an opening for MC to give a big kick between his legs and the demon let out a shrill scream. His green skin started smoking and changed to grey as it hardened and suddenly seemed more like stone than a person.

The circle of students started cheering and Mammon's jaw practically hit the floor.

Holy shit, the human did it!

MC fell the ground, panting heavily and bruised from head to toe.

Mammon finally rushed up to them.

"Damn, MC! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

All of a sudden, some students started running and others just quickly jumped back, revealing Lucifer and Diavolo.

....yep, he's dead.

The two older demons started asking MC questions as they caught their breath and Mammon tried to sneak away.

Lucifer grabbed his brother by his jacket, but otherwise paid him no mind as MC told their tale.

Apparently this demon that sits behind them in their Devildom History class had been giving them crap for a while; calling them names and pushing them around. Today they even started touching them in places that made them wanna break the demon's hand.

MC snapped and told them such. The demon only grinned. Honestly, he was probably waiting for them to say that.

From there, he dragged them out by their hair and the rest is rather obvious.

Diavolo had some of his men carry the demon away. Apparently, the stone-like skin is defense mechanism, essentially the equivalent of a turtle hiding in their shells for that sub-race of demon.

The prince assured MC that the demon will be dealt with and tasked Lucifer with getting them healed up.

Mammon was hung upside down from the roof for a few hours for letting this happen, but MC was patched up and okay in the end.

Leviathan:

He usually buys all of his otaku stuff off of Akuzon

But occasionally, he likes to go out and by manga at this store downtown.

It's a once in a blue moon sort of thing, but he still does it

MC felt like taking a walk so they joined him

The two explored the shop as Levi fanboyed about seemingly every other series he passed.

The otaku had already started a pile of manga he planned to buy.

He didn't even notice when MC left his side until he approached the counter to pay

Boy just assumes you bailed on him at first and sinks into self-loathing mode

Until he heard a scream from outside.

He abandoned his manga and raced out, just in time to see another demon run for it and MC leaning against the building.

Their right arm was bleeding from the holes and claw marks made into it.

The third brother started freaking out and rushed them home, even leaving his books there.

When they get back, Lucifer patches them up with a first aid kit and a little bit of a potion.

MC explains how they were shopping with Levi when all of a sudden they saw Beel outside the store waving at them

She went out to talk to him, but then suddenly, it wasn't Beel anymore.

Apparently, it was a shapeshifting demon and, since they specifically choose Beel's form to take, Lucifer assumed that they must have been watching them for a while and planning this attack. They likely chose Beel because they knew he was someone MC would let their guard around.

Levi felt like crap for letting them get hurt, but MC said it was their fault for being tricked.

Lucifer decided it was both their faults and gave them both a long lecture

Satan:

The fourth brother invited MC out for coffee

The blonde actually really likes the atmosphere of coffee shops and wanted to share it with them

The two ordered their coffee and sat at their table while talking about books. He recently read a book on artic fauna from the human world and was comparing the information he read with their own knowledge

It was a very relaxing experience like most of MC's quality with Satan.

Before the two of left, MC had to stop in the restroom.

That demon waited patiently for the human at their table, but when almost ten minutes went by, he became a bit annoyed and puzzled.

Not wanting to be rude, but also ready to leave, Satan approached the bathroom door

He paused mid knock when her heard a low growl followed by a cry from MC

Now in his demon form, the blonde kicked the door off its hinges. It wasn't locked or anything, but the man was super pissed.

Found a demon pressing MC, who had a gash in their head, against the opposite wall

'An eye for an eye' is more or less the philosophy he followed here, or rather, a head for a head.

He took the demon and slammed his head into another wall over and over again.

MC had to run up and tell him to stop after the other demon passed out.

They left the demon on the floor of the bathroom and Satan, with his arms around MC to keep them close, headed back to House of Lamentation

The human didn't want the other brothers to see them like this and worry so Satan snuck them into his room and went to get the first aid kit.

It was quiet between the two as he patched them up.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." He said as he finished with their stitches. "Seeing you hurt like that just made my blood boil. They deserved it, but you shouldn't have had to watch."

"It's okay... thank you for saving me."

The two spent the rest of the night huddled together in his room, reading and just settling down from the incident.

Asmodeus:

Shopping trip!

Asmo was a bit too enthusiastic about it, but that's part of why MC was all too willing to go

He mainly just wanted to see MC in cute outfits, but also bought a few for himself

Any self-consciousness MC might feel on her own is long gone when they spend time with him. He's always hyping them up and complimenting them and overall making them feel beautiful.

Time spent with Asmo is always a good time and well spent.

The fifth brother does actually leave their side for a bit after they found someone hot to flirt with

MC didn't mind and just let the Avatar of Lust do his thing as they continued to look through the racks.

At some point a very good looking demon approached them and started flirting with them

It became obvious that this dude was one of Asmo's demons, another demon of lust

Even with this in mind though, their attention really did make the human feel special, even if they probably said such sweet words to everyone

MC underestimated the demon, thinking that just because Asmo wasn't the aggressive sort that the demons under him wouldn't be either

Ends up following him out of the store and makes out with him against the wall of the building

They didn't understand why they were doing this, but the human's mind had been feeling foggy for a while now.

Suddenly, MC's whole body started to feel heavy and they were so dizzy that their vision was just a blur

Ends up passing out and waking up a few minutes later to Asmo crying as he stood over them and begging them to wake up

"Azzy?"

The man threw his arms around them.

Finds out that the fifth brother went looking for them when he saw that they weren't in the store anymore. He came outside just in time to see one of his underlings try to suck their soul out of their body.

As soon as they heard their superior's voice though, they dropped the human and ran.

The two went straight home and Asmo was extra clingy with them for the rest of the day.

Beelzebub:

The two of them went together to Madam Screams since they were both craving sweets.

Beel was really hungering for a cherry pit pie (though of course he planned on order other things as well) while MC was really hankering for some chocodevil cake.

The two happily got in line to pick out their treats, but MC stepped out to get a clearer view of the case with all of the treats to see if they wanted anything different instead.

Ends up getting attacked by a famished, minor demon of gluttony and slammed down on the glass case containing the sweets.

Beel jumped into gear; he changed into his demon form and threw the other demon off of them.

During the skirmish, the two ended up breaking down a wall and crushing three tables.

When the fight ended, the big guy rushed up to MC to make sure they're okay.

The human was bleeding and had a lot of glass shards embedded in their back and arms.

Though worried, the sweet boy keeps himself together and carefully takes out the bigger shards.

Rushes them home, treats forgotten.

Once home, Lucifer is the one who gets the rest of the glass out of their back and cleans up their wounds.

Beel stays by their side and lets them squeeze their hand when Luce's clean up hurts too much.

Luce gives his younger brother a lecture for all the stuff he had broken back at Madam Screams, but is surprisingly lenient with him.

The older brother didn't say it (and honestly, he should have), but he was proud of his brother for stepping up and protecting MC, but at the same time, expected nothing less from him.

Yeah, Lucifer will likely get sent the bill, but MC's safety is more important.

Belphegor:

Belphie had fallen asleep during class; no surprise there.

The rest of the students left the room when class ended, but the seventh brother continued to sleep at his desk.

MC found his sleeping face cute and didn't want to wake the demon

So instead, they hung around the classroom, waiting for the Avatar of Sloth to awake; the school day was over and the classroom wasn't going to be used for anything else so they thought there'd be no harm in hanging around.

Sadly, they were wrong.

Another student, a jerk from their Seductive Speechcraft class had waited for them to leave the classroom in order to harass them, but when they didn't come out, he came in.

Eventually had them backed up against the wall and forcing their hand up their shirt, causing the human to yelp.

He tried covering their mouth with his other hand, but MC bit them, angering the demon and leading them to putting their hands around their throat as he yelled at them.

The entire time, the minor demon never saw the Avatar of Sloth sleeping at his desk.

Big mistake.

Belphie woke up and saw the scene before him, turning into his demon form real quick.

Didn't hesitate to grab a hold of the bastard and make him let go of MC, who was now gasping for much needed air.

The seventh brother used his miasma aura to weaken the demon as he was now the one doing the choking with the lower demon.

MC covered their face and cried in their corner on the floor.

It was too similar to That Night™️ and the human was bordering on panic attack because of it.

Once the minor demon passed out, Belphie turned and saw MC crying on the floor.

He rushed up to them, but stopped once MC started screaming and begging for him to stay back.

That look in their eyes... it was the same fearful look he remembered from That Night™️

And it killed Belphie inside because he never wanted them to be scared of him ever again.

He waited for the human to calm down and, with their permission, slowly approached them.

He wanted to hug them, but was afraid that they'd just be reminded of it even more so he held back.

Surprising him, the human hugged him instead.

He held them tight for as long as they needed and started to notice the bruises forming on their neck

The two went home after that and reported the incident to Lucifer before Belphie dragged MC with him for a nap.

He chose Beel and his' room since he knew the attic would probably be too much for them right now.

Cuddled close to them and apologized for all of it. For falling asleep and leaving them defenseless. For the other demon's attack. For scarying them. Above all, that he was sorry for That Night™️

~

Masterlist

[queen-ofsunflowers]

Literal Theatre Kid Ren, Act 3: Autumn of Fate

Please note that, as always, times given in each game have been messed around with a little to make things work out. Especially concerning A3 and the dates for Autumn Troupe and their performances. Also like before, relationships between characters have been messed around for some plot elements to work.

Contains minor spoilers for Persona 5 Royal. I haven’t touched upon it for the most part because these summary posts are meant to cover major plot events. This also ended up being way longer than the other parts, so heads-up about that, too.

Chapter 1: My Portrait, I

This one starts out a little... differently compared to the other acts. It’s time for that time-flashback fuckery from the majority of P5, with a lot of the stuff crammed into this first chapter.

It starts out with Ren handcuffed to a chair in the middle of an interrogation room. It’s the usual song and dance from the beginning of the game, Ren getting the shit kicked out of him by the police despite ya know... still being a minor. He signs a confession to being the leader of the Phantom Thieves and a confession to all their crimes: obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons... and manslaughter.

Eventually, he’s moved to a more secure location. A prosecutor comes to interrogate him about his actions as a Phantom Thief... and this is Makoto’s older sister, Sae. She is understandably pissed off when she sees the state that he’s in, but she has a job to do. She’s the prosecutor in charge of handling the Phantom Thieves’ case after all. She’s going to talk to their leader, search for motives and ask questions about what really happened.

And so, the interrogation begins. Ren recalls the script he had written out for this with some help from a few friends of this -- Tsuzuru, Makoto and a third one that he doesn’t quite name yet. They prepared for everything that he might be asked, and Ren’s able to answer her questions that Sae’s asking him. He tells his story with a certain performance he recently did lingering in the back of his mind as he does so. Though Sae might not fully believe him about the Metaverse and what the Thieves have done there, she’s still willing to hear him out. All the while, Ren is careful to not mention any of the Phantom Thieves true names (if he absolutely has to, he’s been using codenames), to not mention a connection to the Mankai Company... to not give away the names and faces of his accomplices. To him, Sae must think that he’s acted alone.

He gets up to the end of summer and how the Phantom Thieves actually didn’t do anything to Medjed when Sae calls him out on the beginnings of a particular incident that caused him to be in the position he is in now. It was their next target where they made a grave mistake. Ren leans back and thinks about what happened at the end of summer to cause the dominos to fall where they did.

...and it all started with the auditions for Autumn Troupe, right at the end of summer break.

Chapter 2: Autumn Auditions

Time rewinds to the day in question. Ren and Ryuji had to go help Futaba out after she had gotten a bit overwhelmed while she was out. Normally, she would’ve called Kazunari, but she had done so well at the beach and with closing night that she didn’t want to disappoint him. That’s why she texted the group chat for help. Ren reassures her that needing help isn’t something to be ashamed of as the three of them head into the Mankai Theater to meet up with Izumi and the Summer Troupe.

Auditions for Autumn Troupe are today, and initially the troupe thinks that Ryuji’s there to audition after Ren mentions that he reached out to someone, but both boys are quick to blow that notion away. Ryuji wasn’t the one that Ren asked to come.

The first two people to show up are Omi Fushimi -- the photographer who helped out the Summer Troupe -- and a boy with bright red and black hair named Taichi Nanao. Omi is the one that Ren invited to audition after seeing his love of theatre a few months back. Taichi, on the other hand, makes a first impression by trying to flirt with Yuki and Futaba.

The next to show is a boy with slicked back hair named Juza Hyodo. This is one person that Muku apparently seems to recognize, but one word from Juza is enough to stamp that out. Still, it is a bit suspicious. Before anyone could ask what was up with that, there’s a small scuffle from outside.

It’s Ann trying to shove someone through a door. This is the final auditionee that she introduces as her cousin, Banri Settsu. Apparently, she got the idea to convince Banri to audition for Mankai.. okay, she doesn’t convince him, but she did drag his ass down there. This argument lasts the whole way to the theater. Seeing Juza and Ren there is the only thing that gets Banri to shut up and agree. He has beef with both of them, Juza more so than Ren. He still just hasn’t gotten a fight from Ren yet, remember?

Ren thinks this is a bad idea, especially with Juza and Banri nearly start fighting each other. Ann really doesn’t care. They need five troupe members, and he can’t do it because of his stage fright. She claims Banri can do it, but after seeing his attitude... yeah, that’s up in the air for now.

...it looks like Autumn Troupe is already starting to become a handful...

Chapter 3: The Last One

Everyone’s lead towards the stage to audition, with Banri and Juza still looking like they’re about to fight each other at any given moment. Izumi’s prepared to start, although she’s still waiting for the person she invited to show up.

And as if on cue, Sakyo shows up to audition, surprising the rest of the company and the Thieves present outside of Ren since Morgana had already let him know about this. He’s still confused about why Sakyo actually showed up -- even after Izumi explains that despite threatening to shut it down, he still cares about the place, but it’s five people. As long as they pass the audition, it’s all they need. 

And so, the auditions begin.

Chapter 4: Serious about Acting

Everything goes... fairly well, actually. It’s apparent that Omi and Juza are new to this, but Taichi seems comfortable on stage and Banri and Sakyo are really good at acting. The latter ends up surprising Ren (and gets an ‘I told you so’ from Ann) since Banri had no stage experience. Although even she has to agree with the others that his attitude could use an overhauling when he makes fun of Juza’s wooden acting.

Possibly because they need all the actors that they can get, all five of the auditionees pass. Though, Ren still thinks that Banri needs to get his head out of his ass. It’s like Tenma was during his audition, but worse since it has no grounds. He’s just trying to start shit for the sake of starting shit.

The troupes and the Thieves split off there, with the former heading back to the dorms. Ann reminds Ren to be careful. Banri still wants a fight. Ren can’t make any clear promises, but if worse comes to worse, he’ll convince Morgana to shred something.

Chapter 5: Room Splitting and More

As Ren expected, the members of the Autumn Troupe agree to move into the dorms tomorrow. And as such, he tells them about his probation to get it out of the way, giving them the abridged version of what he told Summer Troupe. This makes Taichi a bit nervous while surprising Omi and Juza since ya know... Ren really doesn’t look like that kind of person (he’s not, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time). The only ones who show no reaction are Banri and Sakyo.

With Banri, Ren understands. They go to the same school, and Ren’s record was leaked there back in Spring. He already knows. The question is why the hell Sakyo didn’t react. The only conclusions Ren can come to are that he’s just that good an actor that Ren can’t read him, or he already knew ahead of time. Maybe Izumi told him...?

Speaking of which, while Ren isn’t going to say it to his face, he has to agree when Morgana says that Sakyo is crazy for suggesting Banri and Juza room together. Unfortunately though, despite the protests, this is the combination that the go with. Ren thinks it’s crazy, and he’s just waiting for the moment that a fist fight breaks out. It’s not going to take long, but at this rate, Sakyo’s not going to be able to keep them in line forever.

...irony is that Banri and Juza are both older than him, too.

So pretty much at this point, the only ones from Autumn that Ren gets along with are Omi, Juza and Sakyo for the most part. He and Taichi are kind of on the rocks because Taichi takes rumors Banri’s brought up and the thing about Ren’s criminal record too seriously. And Ren thinks Banri’s just an ass. Likewise, Banri is still calling Ren “Brat” rather than his actual name because of a lot of the shit that Ren’s been commenting on. Boy does not hold back.

Chapter 6: Sparks Fly

The next day marks the end of summer vacation, and the students of the groups have to return to school. And Ren didn’t realize how much the whole thing with Medjed over the summer seemed to rock the boat. It seems like all that everyone at school is talking about are the Phantom Thieves. Their popularity has skyrocketed overnight (or over the past few weeks, everyone was mostly too focused on Summer Troupe’s show and helping out Futaba to notice). This is something that Ryuji gets really excited about, even going as far as revealing their identities at the meeting after school. This is immediately shut down.

Right now, with school starting up again and the Autumn Troupe show not until November, the Phantom Thieves are looking for two things: a new possible target (not a problem thanks to the rankings and a poll on the Phan Site) and the mystery culprit behind the mental shutdowns. They conclude that the best way to go about the latter is by getting data from the source... aka Sae Niijima. She’s the one investigating the cases, so she’s bound to have something on her computer. With a little program that Futaba has written, the task of getting said data is left with an apprehensive Makoto.

The Thieves who attend Hanasaki (basically everyone at this point excluding Futaba, Morgana and Yusuke) are also heading out on their class trip next week, so that needs to be done pretty soon. Ren’s still kind of surprised that the location is Hawaii of all places, but he’s really not going to complain about it. 

Please take note that Banri can’t go on the school trip due to rehearsals. Yes, he’s pissed off about it. Ren decides it would be best not to bring it up on Saturday when Autumn Troupe moves in. He urges Yusuke to keep his mouth shut about his own class trip to L.A. too, just in case as the pair of them help the new troupe members move into the dorms.

Everyone’s moved in by the time dinner rolls around... but not everyone shows up for dinner. So, Ren is sent to check on the missing two -- Juza and Banri -- with Omi and Taichi tagging along. As Ren expected would happen sooner or later, the two of them are fighting each other... and not just verbally this time, either. Fist involved and everything.

Ren... really doesn’t think before he acts in this case. While Omi manages to restrain Juza and pull him back. Ren’s body kind of moves on its own and Joker takes over. It’s like he’s ambushing a Shadow in the Metaverse when he manages to knock Banri to the floor and keep him there. It takes Ren a second to realize what he did, and with Taichi’s help, they eventually force Banri out of the room.

While Ren hopes that move he pulled off will keep Banri from trying to fight him for some time, it did come with a downside. Taichi is more nervous around him.

Later that night in a video chat with the other Thieves, Ren is reassured by Makoto and Ryuji that Taichi’s not gonna be scared of him forever. Ren’s only terrifying when fighting Shadows. Outside, he’s like a cat. Using Morgana as an example helps, especially since everyone in the troupe seems to love him.

On the plus side, Makoto also managed to snag the data from Sae’s laptop. Over the next week while they’re all on their class trips, Futaba will be going through it all to see what she can find out that will be helpful to them.

Chapter 7: My Portrait, II

Time returns to the interrogation room when Ren’s story is brought to a halt by Sae. Ren’s partially slipped up in terms of telling Sae how they swiped the information that they had. The woman is smarter than she looks, easily figuring out that it was Makoto who did the deed. When questioned further, Ren says nothing.

He’s thinking about his team, his friends, his...

He’ll do anything he has to protect everyone that he cares about -- whether they be from the Phantom Thieves or from the Mankai Company. They trust him, after all. He has to believe in that trust or the show will be ruined before the final act.

He dismisses the notion, remembering what one of his friends told him while they were writing out the script for this little performance. He turns the question back on Sae, wondering why -- if Makoto really was a part of this -- she didn’t notice it at all. They do live together, don’t they? They are sisters. Sae falls quiet. This wasn’t something that Ren wanted to do, but if it’ll help him protect them, then he’ll do it.

Seeing the point his story has come to, Sae asks him about what happened the week of his class trip. Ren begins to recall what lead up to the school trip, and what exactly she’s talking about... and how despite what the police all concluded... the Phantom Thieves had no hand in it at all. How they weren’t responsible for his school’s principal’s death.

Chapter 8: The Economist’s Dictatorship

As Ren and Yusuke are packing for their class trips later that week, they and the rest of the Mankai Company are called down to the common area for an all-troupe meeting. Everyone is confused as to what’s going on, including Izumi. She wasn’t the one who called the meeting.

It was Sakyo, who’s kind of taken the reins from Izumi in terms of being in-charge. The dorms rules are being revamped due to the debt that the company is in. Every little bit counts, and Sakyo has made that very clear with the new rules he’s laid down. They’re even being timed for baths...

...Ren won’t admit this out loud to Yusuke, but there’s the possibility that Sakyo could help him with his own budget... seriously, he spends all his money on art supplies. It’s kind of concerning at this point. ...that would be if the rules he’s put in place weren’t as unreasonable as they were. Cutting the breakers at lights out? That’s pushing it.

Even if he is a part of the troupe now, there’s no way Sakyo is going to forget about their debt. The previous shows had brought it down a little, but it’s still not enough.

A ten million yen debt, changing society one heart at a time and trying to find a mysterious culprit behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns. ...this isn’t something for teenagers to worry about, but here Ren and Yusuke are.

It is also during this conversation that it gets brought up what the Autumn Troupe thinks of the Phantom Thieves. Taichi thinks that they’re pretty dang cool. Juza only shrugs (Muku’s a fan of the Phantom Thieves, remember? He doesn’t wanna disagree), and Omi’s just one the fence because while they are helping people, he doesn’t like that no one knows how they’re doing it. Sakyo thinks they’re reckless morons. And finally, because of the stuff that happened at school (and with Kamoshida especially), Banri can’t say much about it. He’s neutral on that matter but refuses to admit that he is grateful for what they did to Kamoshida a few months back.

Say what you will about the Mankai boys in general, but we all know that they chug that Respect Women Juice. Banri included. He took no shit from Kamoshida, especially when it came to Ann and by extension, Shiho.

Chapter 9: Kame Buns

While Autumn Troupe starts their rehearsals, the group of Ren, Masumi, Ann and Ryuji head out on their class trip with Makoto and Sakuya there to supervise. Apparently some third years got roped into the trip this way because of all the drama going on around the school. The remaining members of Spring, Summer and Futaba are doing a pretty good job at keeping the rest updated on what’s going on back at home.

futaba primarily because she has bugged both kazunari’s and tsuzuru’s phones. only tsuzuru knows, but he’s not sure how to get rid of it.

So when they land and Ren gets the text that Banri was chosen for the leader of the Autumn Troupe, he is so glad that he’s currently in Hawaii. Dealing with that argument would’ve been a headache. Ann assures him that he is a decent guy under all the attitude. To her, maybe. Ren’s still only “Brat” in his mind. 

He’s just kind of shoved all of that in the back of his mind. This is a trip, they’re supposed to have fun as a lot of people remind him. So. they spend the day on the beach. And even though they’re supposed to not be working, Ren’s mind wanders to the Phan Site when Kazunari sends him some screenshots about the latest rankings. Masumi and Ryuji do not help this at all.

Chapter 10: A Disinterested Man

The next day, a couple of things happen. Ren gets a bit concerned with how focused Ryuji is on the Phantom Thieves’ popularity because apparently that’s followed them here.

The next is that Yusuke shows up. Apparently, there was a storm over Los Angeles that wasn’t clearing up, forcing his class to land there. Which means that just about everyone’s together for this part of the class trip. Sakuya even tries to pull in another third year to join their group when he sees that she’s by herself, but that fails. and yes we’re talking about haru

That night, Masumi and Ryuji -- who is spending the night in Masumi’s and Ren’s room that night after being locked out of his own -- keep talking about the rankings on the Phan Site. The current #1 is a CEO by the name of Okumura who exploits his employees by doing things like underpaying staff.

Ren listens, but he really wishes that they would stop. At least Ann -- who was also locked out of her room and is now bunking with the boys -- seems to be on his side. It’s a trip. It’s a break from everything. They should worry about work when they get back. Thank you, Ann.

The last major thing is that Masumi ends up getting sick after drinking the tap water by accident. Never change, Masumi. Never change.

Chapter 11: A Mismatched Buddy Pair

Third and final day of the trip. I am not sure who Ren is going to spend this day with. At all. In the game, it’s either the guys or one of the girls that he has a confidant with. But I’m still not sure about if I’m gonna do a ship with Ren at this point.

So for fun, I’m just gonna say that he does spend time with someone. Yusuke repeatedly calls it a date that multiple people grill and tease Ren about a little. Ren refuses to say anything about who it was. Because I can’t make up my mind.

And so, the class trip comes to an end and the gang returns back to Japan. And yes, they did bring back souvenirs for just about everyone. Ren has a whole bag of them from Ann that he deposits on Banri’s lap. The only person that Ren can’t find is Tsuzuru, who has begun holing himself up in his room to write the script. Ren’s a bit excited to get a look at it and see what he’s planning since he was out while the discussion for it was going on.

Unfortunately, all that excitement flies out the window the next day when the Thieves return to class and receive some dark news: their school’s principal was killed. The current investigation leads police to believe that it was a suicide, but the circumstances surrounding it have the Thieves on edge. The whole thing played out exactly like a mental shutdown. Needless to say, they call a meeting and meet up at the dorms. They had too, anyway. Futaba has the data from Sae’s computer to show them.

It seems like luck that no one suspects that the Phantom Thieves are behind it, so that’s good at least. But it does seem like a lot of people are rooting for the Phantom Thieves to do something similar, aiming to fix society’s problems when they’re just a bunch of teenagers doing what they can to help people. 

Trying to forget the weight of all that for just a moment, the meeting turns to the original topic at hand: the data concerning the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns that Futaba mined from Sae’s computer. Most of the cases are believed to be tied back to the Okumura Foods Company, namely its CEO Kunikazu Okumura. This is the man who’s currently at the top of the poll on the Phan Site. While everyone was away, Futaba had put his name into the MetaNav and ended up getting a hit. He has a Palace. 

For Ryuji, that’s good enough, but the rest of the thieves aren’t so sure. Just because the public is calling for it, doesn’t mean that they should follow. Besides, the comments that most people are making online are a bit concerning to most of them. They’re hesitating and nervous about what to do now.

And causes something inside of Morgana that Ren hadn’t noticed was there to snap, a lot of resentment and anger that the cat hasn’t let out before exploding outwards. And the target of it all is Morgana’s usual target for insults -- Ryuji.

Despite everyone -- Ren especially -- trying to calm the pair down, the argument they end up having just gets worse and worse. Morgana hasn’t just been insulting Ryuji, it’s been returned in kind whether Ryuji realizes it or not. And a lot of it has been coming from making Morgana feel like he’s becoming useless every time a new member joins the team.

Basically it’s a lot of shit that has been building up for a while that no one noticed finally getting out in the open in the worst way possible because neither Morgana or Ryuji are listening. Morgana eventually just gets fed up with it and leaves, saying that he’ll take care of the Palace by himself. Despite everyone’s calls, Morgana’s gone.

When Ren wakes up and Morgana is still nowhere to be seen, the first thing that he does is check in with the others and their dorms. He even searches the empty ones to see if the cat has retreated inside of them. No luck. The Spring and Summer Troupes help search for Morgana that afternoon along with most of the Phantom Thieves, but no one can find him anywhere. Ren is absolutely distraught by the whole thing and has stopped speaking to Ryuji altogether because of how upset he is. Ryuji thinks Ren is blowing this out of the water and Morgana will be back in no time.

Ryuji brings this up while he’s out looking for Morgana with the Summer Troupe. It’s not that surprising, as few of them note. Morgana’s almost always by Ren’s side or in his arms when he’s not prowling around the dormitory. He brings him to school for god’s sake. The troupe wonders why Morgana ran off in the first place, since while Ren does let him wonder, he never has left the dorms. Ryuji tries to explain the best he can since Kazunari’s the only one who probably would be able to get the whole truth. Needless to say, it comes down to “you had an argument with a cat”.

Ryuji is also reminded of something he told Tenma just a few weeks ago: yelling isn’t going to do anything. Talking things out will, and Ryuji did the exact opposite of that because of the Phantom Thieves popularity getting to his head... Ryuji’s starting to regret a lot of what he said, and that turns to a lot of regret when no one can find Morgana anywhere.

And yes, he’s gonna face the consequences of his actions here. Morgana will too, but in due time.

Meanwhile, someone breaks into Okumura Foods main office building. It doesn’t take long for the Phantom Thieves to realize that this is Morgana. So, the next day, they go to investigate. Luckily, the building is also Okumura’s Palace and Futaba figured out the keywords while everyone was gone. The thieves dive into the Palace -- a space station this time -- and begin their search for their missing member.

Along the way, they see that maybe the rankings on the Phan Site weren’t unfounded. The Palace is filled with burnt-out robots that are meant to represent how Okumura sees his employees in reality. They are tired and broken but keep on working until they literally fall apart. It’s a shitty situation, but the Thieves have a different mission right now. They need to find Morgana before making any other moves.

It doesn’t take them very long to find Morgana... or rather, for Morgana to find them. The Thieves are barred from going on any further by a door that has a biometric lock to it. Only those registered in the system can get passed it. While they try to figure out what to do, a voice calls out to them. It’s a girl in a Phantom Thief costume like theirs and wearing a black mask.

At first, they suspect that she’s the one who’s been behind the mental shutdowns due to the fact that they only clue they have so far is that they’ve been wearing a black mask. But then Morgana shows up alongside her. Apparently, this is his new partner that he introduces as “Beauty Thief”. Much like the Phantom Thieves, she is a Persona User, too (though Futaba notes that her Persona isn’t very strong compared to theirs).

It’s quickly made apparent that this girl... really has no idea what she’s doing. She’s primarily repeating what Morgana has told her for the most part. The one thing that does surprise the Thieves, however, is that the girl is able to get through the biometric lock blocking their path. There’s no time to ask about that, as the team has to split up when it’s revealed that a horde of Shadows was waiting for them on the other side. Everyone returns home for the day with the promise to talk about what the heck just happened once everyone is at their homes again.

When Ren and Yusuke get back to the dorms, Ren explains their absence as them going out to look for Morgana again after school with the Thieves. It’s not a total lie, since that’s what they were actually doing. But no one needs to know exactly where he was looking.

Unfortunately, while everyone accepts that and understands that, there’s one person who’s confused about what the hell Ren keeps looking for Morgana so much.

“It’s just a cat,” says Banri without thinking about what he’s saying, “I don’t see what the problem--” Bam.

Ren’s finally snapped and has punched Banri in the face. Yeah, he’s not taking any of his shit today. Banri does get the fight he’s been wanting, but at what cost? ...to be honest, it’s mostly just Banri trying to get a hit in and Ren’s Joker instincts taking over. He’s mad enough that at this point, if he could, he would’ve summoned Arsene in the real world.

It takes Omi, Juza and Yusuke prying the two apart for Ren to calm down. He’s pushed out of the dorms by Taichi and Yusuke, who suggest taking another look around to see if Morgana’s wondered home. Ren knows that he hasn’t. He doesn’t know if he ever will. But this is mostly an effort to get Ren to cool off. He’s just so done.

Ironically, two good things come out of this fight. The first is that Banri finally got the fight that he wanted, and realizes “holy shit, what the fuck is this kid?” Banri also gets smacked upside the head and lectured about the whole thing. The company is pissed over Banri’s comment, not just Ren. Morgana’s been at the company since Spring Troupe, so a lot of the members have become used to the cat’s presence and have grown to care about him, too.

The second good thing is that Taichi starts to relax around Ren. As Izumi explains to Banri and how Yusuke & Ren explain to Taichi, Morgana was a stray that Ren had taken in and had been with him since his probation started. Ren loves Morgana, which is why he’s so upset that Morgana is gone and why he’s not talking to Ryuji -- who is responsible for it and is trying to make things better. It’s that story about Ren adopting Morgana that gets Taichi to let his guard down around Ren. Maybe the rumors were wrong after all.

Once everyone has calmed down, Taichi, Ren and Yusuke head back to the dorms. Before the latter two head upstairs to the attic to call and talk to the thieves about what happened in the Palace, though, there's the little matter of Banri's and Ren’s fight to deal with. They're not going to get out of it so easily and there's one other person who has had enough of their crap.

Needless to say, the handcuffs get pulled out slightly earlier than they do in canon, as Sakyo handcuffs Ren and Banri together as punishment for their actions. Banri and Juza are bad, but Banri's ability to get under Ren's skin like he has been is a major issue. Sakyo has the slightest bit of mercy to release them in the mornings for school, but that's it. The moment that both boys are back at the Mankai dorms, the handcuffs are going back on.

So the entire "meeting" has to take place over text because Banri can't know about the Phantom Thieves. Ann drives this point home, saying he would lose his shit if he knew she was involved. The whole situation with Kamoshida made him fairly protective.

Ren is dragged down to Room 104 (Banri’s and Juza’s room) since Banri refuses to sleep in the attic. Over text, there is one thing that they can agree on: most of them have seen Beauty Thief before. Specifically at Hanasaki. They’ll deal with it tomorrow because Ann stop laughing about the handcuffs, it’s not funny. I can’t pick the lock, IT’S NOT FUNNY--

Meanwhile, Hell begins. Ren and Banri are butting heads even more since Ren drags him out of bed that morning for rehearsals against his will. It is not fun, Izumi’s starting to think that this was a mistake because of how different the two are when it comes to acting. Banri lacks a passion for it -- initially auditioning to prove that he was better at something than Juza. Ren, on the other hand, is passionate despite having stage fright.

When Banri finds out about Ren’s stage fright during rehearsal that day, the idea of sticking them together only worsens. Banri doesn’t understand Ren’s fear of criticism and being torn down because of how easy things have been for him. Ren’s ready to call him out on this shit without hesitation. Like I said, he’s lost all fucks when it comes to Banri. They start fighting about it, getting under each other’s skin because Ren has been working on his stage fright with using the Metaverse as a stage and the others Thieves as his audience. But there’s nothing he can say about it. Their argument continues to get worse when Banri calls Ren a coward for getting upset about something that’s so easy to do. They are both freed and sent out the door to school before the fight could get worse.

During lunch that day, Ren, Ryuji, Ann and Makoto search through the student records to find the face that closely matches their Beauty Thief. With the unique hairstyle that she has, it doesn’t take long to find her: one third year named Haru Okumura, Kunikazu Okumura’s daughter.

Ren and Banri both accidentally run into her outside of the school after classes end (Ren was waiting for everyone else so they could walk home together and possibly confront Haru there as well). The two boys avoid talking to each other the whole time, still on thin ice after last night. Ren feels lucky that Banri quickly leaves, having enough of being around Ren at the dorms that he doesn't want to deal with him at school (which confuses Haru a little bit, he’s helped her with her gardening supplies before). Now alone, Ren takes the opportunity to ask Haru about what happened last night. And so, Haru explains.

The night that Morgana had left, Haru had found him out on the street. She followed him towards the office building and accidentally got pulled into the Metaverse with him. He gave her the chance to change her father’s heart and possibly make her relationship with him a little better. When Ren suggests that maybe they could do that together, Haru declines. The Phantom Thieves are too much in the public eye, and to her, they seemed to be focused more on that then helping their own teammate (Morgana).

Ren, though hurt to hear that, steps down. It doesn’t seem like Morgana is going to come home at this point. All he says before leaving is to take care of Morgana for him, and that to let him know that the rest of the troupe misses him, too. Not just the Thieves. Haru is a bit confused by this since right now, she doesn’t know that Ren’s a part of the Mankai Company. She knows about it because of the publicity surrounding Romeo and Julius and say what you will, but I can see Haru going to see plays and the like from time to time. Because Mankai is such a small company, she has to sneak out to see their performances because they’re frowned upon. But she really enjoys seeing them. She just doesn’t know that Ren is a part of it, unlike Makoto who figured it out herself from small context clues.

Anyway, back to the situation at hand. The Phantom Thieves are at a lost as to what to do now, and Ren is notably upset during Autumn Troupe’s rehearsals that afternoon. Banri thinks its girl troubles when it comes up since he saw Ren talking to Haru earlier, but Ren just says that it’s not something that he’d be able to understand, bringing it around back to Morgana. Banri goes quiet. He still doesn’t get why the hell Ren’s so upset about the cat when cats are meant to wander like that. There are a lot of them on the streets, anyway. Ren says nothing. Morgana’s more than just a cat. He's a friend. A friend that Ren is deeply worried about.

The next day is when things take a turn. The Thieves have noticed that someone’s completing Mementos requests on the Phan Site, and quickly deduce that it’s most likely Haru and Morgana. They want a chance to talk with Morgana to make things right (mostly Ryuji, who at this point realizes how much he’s fucked up), as well as to warn Haru to be careful when it comes to dealing with heart changes in Mementos. Taking them all on like this could draw unwanted attention, too.

This actually works when they find them, but Ryuji’s apology... not so much. It leads to a goose chase with the Thieves trying to track down and talk to Morgana, as well as Ren and Ryuji finally talking to each other again and Ryuji admitting that he really did fuck up and apologizing for letting things going to his head. By the time that happens, Haru and Morgana have already left Mementos.

The Phantom Thieves leave shortly after, trying to figure out what to do and if they can still catch up to Haru and Morgana in reality. ...they’re able to, but only when they’re drawn to a side street by the sound of Morgana’s whines. They race over to find Morgana laying against a wall and Haru being accosted by some rich-looking man that introduces himself as Haru’s fiancé when the thieves try to step in. Haru eventually manages to pull herself free and the man leaves. He wasn’t lying about their relationship, but Haru is also shaking and on the verge of tears. Morgana’s also injured, as the man had kicked him into the wall when he tried to defend Haru.

It’s decided that the best course of action is to take both back to the Mankai dorms to regroup, as well as take care of Morgana’s injuries. It’s the least likely place that they’re going to be found, anyway.

When they get there, the Hana High boys are surprised to see Haru, but the switch is swiftly flipped into panic mode when they realize how upset that Haru looks.

Ren goes to pull Izumi to the side to talk to her about something while Sakuya immediately tries to figure out what’s going on and make Haru feel better, but Sakyo gets to him first. Dragging Banri behind him, Sakyo locks the pair together again or at least tries to because right now, it’s a meeting with the Phantom Thieves that needs to happen and Ren’s not doing it over text again. It's Haru's turn to be surprised, but the handcuff thing is explained quickly to her as the more familiar troupe members (i.e. Sakuya and Masumi) and Izumi help her calm down. Morgana, who is hearing all this, now realizes how much Ren actually cares about him. He regrets running away now.

The whole time, Ren is dodging Sakyo like he’s a Shadow in the Metaverse. He has no found a way to pick the lock on the handcuffs, and he is not letting Banri in on the Phantom Thieves’ meeting, so “let me just go this once, come on!”

But the need to take care of Morgana’s injury and talk about what had happened is really, really great right now. And with Ren having not found a way to break the handcuffs or pick the lock (he has tried multiple times and failed to), there’s kind of little to no choice. Ren apologizes before sprinting up to the attic and locking the door behind him, promising that he’ll put them on in an hour if Sakyo just leaves him alone “please this is important, get away from the door!”

It takes a few minutes for Izumi to get Sakyo to leave Ren alone long enough that the Thieves and Haru can get up to the attic. It’s there that they can finally talk about what happened.

Morgana has realized that there’s no way getting around the fact that the deal he made with the Thieves is no longer fair. There’s no guarantee that he’ll get turned back into a human like he believes, so what’s the point? They should split up. It’s then that the Thieves remind him of something: that’s not all they’re fighting for. Everyone’s joined the team for different reasons. 

Thanks to Haru’s words about how she really feels towards her fiancé (she hates him with a burning passion to be precise) it comes out that Morgana wanted to be acknowledged by the others so that he could stay. He’s welcome no matter what, though. He’s a part of their little circle. And what happened that week only proved that. It’s here that Ryuji actually apologizes for what happened and vice versa. Morgana wants to stay with everyone if they’ll let him. And they will. Their deal is remade and the team is back together, and this time with one more added to their ranks.

The second that Ren’s back down is when Sakyo slaps the cuffs on him again, much to his dismay. Banri tries to get under Ren’s skin again to find out what the hell the whole escape/acrobatics act was all about, but Ren’s keeping tight lipped on this one, confusing Banri a little. The hell was so important that he needed to slip out like that?

...kid’s got balls, he’ll say that much, but this pretty much is perfect material in Banri’s eyes to keep calling him a brat. Even if he manages to talk Izumi into letting Haru spend the night because she doesn’t want to go home after what happened with her fiancé (he doesn’t say that specifically out of privacy, just that there was some stuff going on).

With Morgana back, he does sleep in the same bed as Ren again. Ren wakes up holding back snickers when he sees Banri sort of curled around Morgana in his sleep, despite his protests about the cat getting anywhere near him last night. He takes a picture of it before waking both up that morning.

The rest of the day goes on as normal, with Haru returning home and the Thieves trying to figure out through text conversation what their next move is: if they should definitely choose Okumura as their next target or not. However, as the day goes on, that choice is quickly made when Haru calls Ren asking if she could come back to the dorm. In the chat, he soon sees why. After last night, Haru’s father has decided to send her to live with her fiancé without regard for what she wants, as well as knowing full well what Haru would be subjected to if that happened. Concerned for Haru’s safety, Okumura becomes their next target. The only issue now is Haru’s Persona -- unlike the others, it is incredibly weak and doesn’t even have a physical form. But she can fight with the weapons that they use. Ren just has to go and get them... as soon as he’s not handcuffed to Banri anymore.

When Haru turns up at the dorms again, so do Ann and Futaba to try and help her get her mind off of what’s going on, and after last night, there’s very little room for the company to argue. But that doesn’t stop Ren from snickering when he overhears Citron, Itaru and Banri getting their asses handed to them by a few players in their game that go by the usernames “Carmen”, “Alibaba” and “Beauty Thief” (coincidentally, Ann and Futaba are snickering every time the boys meet with trouble and Haru’s finally smiling again).

When Taichi enters the room, Ren takes notice that he quickly tries to backtrack when he spots Haru. However, it’s a little too late and Haru has already noticed him. She looks a bit confused and asks Taichi if they've met before, but he stutters over his words and waves it off as a no. Ren is curious, but before he can ask about what that was about, Tsuzuru stumbles into the room with the finished script in hand... and collapses promptly on the floor, making the Phantom Thieves (excluding Yusuke, Ren and Futaba) and Autumn Troupe concerned. They’re relieved to find out he’s just exhausted from non-stop writing for the entire week, and it hits Ren that holy crap. This has all just been one week. But with the script done, they get into The Roman Episode.

Ren’s a little surprised to learn that the play -- an action pact story about two gangsters -- has Banri and Juza as the main leads when neither can get along like their characters do. When this point comes up, it leads to Juza and Banri arguing once more. And once again, Sakyo is left with no choice.

Next thing they know, Sakyo has handcuffed Banri and Juza together in order to make them work together. So now, the situation is like this: Ren is handcuffed to Banri’s left hand and Juza's stuck to him on his right. The situation has gotten worse.

...And Ann finally falls out of her seat in a fit of laughter. Ren wishes he could laugh as well, but seeing as he's stuck here, too... oh boy. This is gonna be harder than he thought.

If they're to tackle Okumura's Palace, Ren’s gonna need to either tell Banri and Juza about the Phantom Thieves or hope that the brief time he has away from them after school will be enough. Either way, he's in trouble.

Chapter 12: Jailhouse Rock

The day is hell. Ren had just gotten his life back together and now it is hell again thanks to two people who shall remain-- it’s Banri Settsu and Juza Hyodo. Ren is trying to plan a heist while getting pulled around by these two. He’s not sure who Banri is worse with -- him or Juza. Either way, this whole thing is a mess and Ren just wants to be done with it. But no matter how hard he (or Morgana) try, they can’t pick the lock. The lock is supposed to be easy to unlock, why isn’t this working?! 

Because he’s stuck with them, he sends the others into Mementos to train up a little and help Haru get the hang of Shadows (and maybe find a weapon type that she could possibly use) while he heads out to pick up first aid supplies. That’s the least suspicious thing he can do, anyway. It’s harder than he expects to drag those two out of the house with him, but since he’s the troupe’s gofer most of the time, all it takes is pulling the Izumi Card to convince them to go with him.

Speaking of Izumi, the boys run into her just as they’re prepared to leave as well. So they end up going with her for the most part. Hey, whatever gets things to go easier, Ren’s willing to do at this point. ...or at least, they’ve would’ve gone with her if it weren’t for someone swiping her bag the second that they step out into the street. Both Juza and Ren take off after him, dragging Banri along with them.

It doesn’t take long for Banri to start arguing with Juza, though. Because of the situation, Ren tells Banri and Juza to get their heads out of their asses and move. Instincts have taken over and now Joker's leadership has started to come out. He even calls them codenames that he made up on the spot... which honestly, aren’t really codenames, Ren’s just calling them by their characters’ names. It does work, though.

The three are soon able to work together to head off the thief before he can get too far. When the thief throws a punch at Juza, though... all bets are off. Ren’s not really able to fight back here because of his probation, but he does go with the flow of Banri’s movements to keep him unrestricted, and Banri does actually take into account that Ren can’t take part in this fight too.

By the time Izumi -- as well as Omi and Taichi -- have caught up to them, the thief has already been dealt with. Ren returns to the purse to her, claiming that the thief had wiped out on his own by the time that they caught up to him.

When they get home and tell Sakyo what happened, he finally gives in to the boys’ demands to remove the handcuffs... especially seeing as all three finally worked together. It is a relief to have use of both of his hands again and not have to worry about Banri or Juza looking over his shoulder anymore.

Though... despite the fact that they can work in sync now, Banri and Juza still take to butting heads with each other. However, all it takes to clear that up is another threat of using the handcuffs again. Ren is just happy to be free... and to be able to sleep in his own bed again.

Chapter 13: A Source of Change

Thanks to the trip into Mementos the day before, Haru is hyped and ready to go. And while they haven’t been able to plan out the chance for her to get a better feel for the Metaverse... that and to see if they could awaken her Persona’s full potential. While the former goes off without a hitch, the latter... yeah, they’re going to need to work on that. Luckily, Haru’s found that Ryuji’s weapons seems to handle really well in her hands. For the time being, they’ll be switching off until Ren can take her to Untouchable to get something that suits her best. 

That, and Haru wants to fight on the front lines when they get into her father’s Palace. It’s hard to argue with her. Plus, while going through, they finally pick out a codename for her, too. Things go pretty smoothly with their infiltration so far... that is, until the team runs into Okumura’s Shadow, as well as the cognitive version of Haru’s fiancé.

It’s here that Haru is faced with the truth about her father -- what he is really like. How he only thinks about his wins and losses, sees people as tools for his own personal gain... and how he sees her as nothing but a tool, either. He doesn’t care about her feelings at all, willing to leave her to her fiancé to do whatever he wants with.

And as the cognition steps forward, something inside Haru snaps. This was it. This was the push that she needed. Before the cognition can even lay a hand on her, Haru’s Persona awakens to its full potential. Milady comes to her User’s defense, unleashing a massive amount of hellish gunfire on the enemy. Haru manages to take it down by herself, stunning the team. Holy shit, that is a tank.

Despite not being an awakening like a majority of the team’s, it still does take a lot out of Haru because of the massive amount of power she just put out. The Phantom Thieves are forced to retreat for the time being to allow her to recover.

The next morning, before practice, Ren makes plans to go on a supply run with Haru that afternoon, giving her a little more time to take a break and possibly to pick up weapons of her own so she and Ryuji won’t have to bounce back and forth with his anymore. With her Persona now ready to go, things should be smoother for her, and possibly having her own weapons to use would help that.

When rehearsal starts, Banri is a no-show. For the time being, Ren steps in to fill his role. This is partially because there’s no one else to do it, and partially because Ren is determined to show Banri what-for and get over his stage fright. He isn't a coward, he's got this.

Banri only really gets up out of bed just as everyone’s eating breakfast that morning. He needs to pull his act together. He might be the best now, but that’s not going to last long.

Later that night, after a quick supply run and picking up Haru’s weapons (Ren is still stunned that the two she chose were an axe and a grenade launcher, but she was comfortable with them, and he wasn’t going to argue), Ren returns to the dorms just after dinner. He’s not at all surprised to find Juza in the courtyard trying to rehearse his lines, especially since his roommate is... well, Banri.

Juza’s also the one most passionate about acting among Autumn Troupe, even though his skills could use a lot of work. Ren offers to help Juza with his lines. He had done so for the other troupes as well -- Ren bringing up Muku as an example and Juza going suspiciously quiet. Ren gets that passion and drive that Juza has and wants to see it.

Chapter 14: His Name is Kamikizaka

Palace infiltration continues, and Ren thinks that this might be the toughest Palace yet. Seriously, those Shadows are rarely giving them peace and seeing what they do... yeah, Okumura’s mind is a messed up place.

That afternoon, after they finally make it through the Palace and have their route set, Ren and Yusuke walk home with Haru, as both are going the same way and Yusuke wants to discuss the calling card with Haru. It is here that they run into the Autumn Troupe and Izumi out and about doing some streets acts for rehearsal... and Reni Kamikizaka and Haruto from God Troupe. Their last encounter still has a sour taste in Ren’s mouth.

It’s also here that the God Troupe members finally learn Ren’s full name. It is also revealed here that Haru’s family is one of the sponsors for God Troupe -- she’s been to see their shows before. Though the productions are expensive looking and decent, she openly admits to preferring Mankai’s shows better because of how much they put into their storytelling and how much fun they seem to be having.

Ren, Yusuke and Haru walk back with the rest of the company. Unfortunately, though, everyone’s steering clear of Autumn Troupe because of their outward appearances. Omi included, which Ren finds a bit weird because he knows that Omi is one of the sweetest people in the whole company. Not even Haru can make them look better. though that might be because of the axe that she’s trying to conceal. Ren would suggest putting Yusuke at the front, but considering how he MET Yusuke... yeah, that might be a bad move overall.

Chapter 15: On Love, Autumn Edition

With Haru’s help, Yusuke and Ryuji both manage to make the calling card in record time and get it deliver straight to their target’s desk. They dive into the Palace after school. As expected at this point, the Phantom Thieves are confronted by Okumura’s Shadow. While he tries to appeal to and manipulate Haru and Morgana to some extent into betraying the Phantom Thieves, neither are willing to have their minds changed.

Thought the battle is long and difficult as hell, the Phantom Thieves are triumphant by the end of it. As the Shadow breaks down, the Thieves manage to get a little out of him about their mysterious Black Mask: whoever they are, they’re a mercenary that Okumura had been contracting in order to wipe out his competition via mental shutdowns. And that’s all they’re able to get as they swipe the Treasure and the Palace starts to fall. Haru, unlike the others, is worried about her father’s Shadow and is lingering behind, hesitant to leave.

Ren urges Haru not to look back and hurry as the Palace collapses around them. Her father and his Shadow will be fine, but they have to go now, or they won’t be. Though hesitant, Haru nods and the Phantom Thieves rush out of the Palace. Ren, in the coming weeks, will come to greatly regret the decision to do this.

When they return to reality, they give Haru the Treasure’s true form to hold onto for the time being. They also have a bit more information on the mental shutdown culprit, especially since Okumura did reveal that he knew who it was. All they have to wait for now is for him to spill the beans. Things are actually looking up.

So when Ren, Morgana and Yusuke get back to the dorms, they’re in a pretty good mood... until they’re chastised by Sakyo for getting home so late. He’s already in a bad mood for arguing with Yuki about costumes, which the middle schooler refused to budge on the budget and Ren really wished he could’ve seen.

As the boys relax and Ren lets Morgana out of the bag, the topic on conversation turns from the costume budget to their first crushes, as they were talking about how Yuki reminded Taichi of his first crush just before the three Thieves arrived. Ren teases Taichi a little about this until the question gets turned on him.

If Ren is in a relationship or crushing on someone at this point (i have yet to figure out what exactly i’m going to do with that), Yusuke won’t hesitate to say something on the matter. The company takes all the chances they can to tease Ren. Ren is not amused. Morgana calls it karma for him teasing Taichi.

The conversation continues, with Yusuke even getting pulled into the Q&A, though his answer isn’t as pleasing to the group because his is more related to works of art than anything. Ren finds it interesting though, that Sakyo actually does answer the question, albeit partially since he never revealed who it was.

The next morning, the good nature in the air from last night is quickly dissipated when a letter is found outside of Mankai’s mailbox. Someone’s sent them a note saying that if they don’t call off Autumn Troupe’s show, then something bad will happen. Ren briefly wonders if it was the work of someone that he made his enemy as a Phantom Thief. However, he’s quickly reminded that that’s impossible. He made sure to keep those two lives as separate as possible to avoid things like this happening. He wants to protect Mankai, after all. It’s the least he can do after all they’ve done for him.

No one seems to be that worried about the letter, too, which helps put him at ease. With how it was made, it looks like nothing but a prank. When Ren asks if Morgana saw anything, the cat can’t reply. He wasn’t prowling the dorms; he was up in the attic with him all night. Still, if someone tries something, the rest of the company can easily knock them down. Just to be safe, Ren asks Morgana to keep an eye out and report back if he sees anything suspicious.

Chapter 16: One-Man Shows

With the Palace no longer being an issue and all that the Thieves really have left to do is waiting for Okumura to have his change of heart, Ren’s free to attend afternoon rehearsals again.

Yuzo decides to swing by and check out the new Autumn Troupe, much to Sakyo’s annoyance. Seeing as he helped with Spring and Summer, it only makes sense for him to keep doing the same for the rest of the troupes.

And like the troupes that came before them, not even Autumn is free from getting torn apart by Yuzo. The roles were written specifically for these five, but with the way they’re acting, there’s not a trace of them in their characters at all. In order to fix this, Yuzo suggests having them doing portraits -- a short, five-minute biopic on themselves that they write themselves. Once they’re done, they’ll be performing them before an audience at the troupe that Yuzo runs. And the topic? Their biggest regrets. To up the ante, the audience will also be voting on who put on the best show. They have two weeks.

Later that night, Ren gets pulled down from the attic by Juza to help out with his portrait, eventually getting joined by Sakyo and Omi outside in the courtyard. As they discuss the topic that Autumn Troupe was given, Ren is asked what his biggest regret is, or if he even has one. Before, Ren would’ve said that it would be getting put on probation. But looking back on it, that’s what lead him to where he is now. Honestly, though, it comes back to his stage fright. 

The fact that he lets other people dictate how he sees one of the two things that he’s most passionate about... that he lets their thoughts take grip like that... if he could change it, he would. If he could let go of the grip that other people’s words have on him, he would, but it’s something that he’s having difficulty getting over. Letting his nerves keep him quiet is the one thing that he regrets the most... for now.

Chapter 17: My Portrait, III

In the interrogation room, Ren takes a pause with his story. His head has begun to hurt, and he’s figured out that it’s not because of the beating that he took. Especially since Sae has figured out that something is up, too.

Ren’s beginning to pause randomly and wince as if in pain, and his words are starting to slur. He had been drugged with something prior to the interrogation, the only thing that Ren can recall it being was something that was to make him tell the truth. Everything was a blur, really... his vision was starting to distort, and he’s having a hard time recalling the script that he had studied for weeks up until this moment.

But after all... as Ren has learned, the show must go on. He has to get through this if everything’s to turn out right... and if he’s to protect those he’s grown to hold close to his heart. And so, he reassures Sae that he is fine and continues his story.

Chapter 18: Progress Report

The next couple of days fly by with rehearsals and Autumn Troupe working on their portraits. Eventually, it’s become October and Ren swears that the last month has felt much longer than it actually seemed to be. Yuzo’s coming around that afternoon to check up on everyone’s portraits, seeing as now they were being performed in almost a week.

However... life likes to screw Ren over, as is obvious by now. He meets with Sumire, the first-year gymnast that Ren had met back in May, outside of the subway station. She seems upset about something and had dropped something earlier, but before Ren can return her belongings, the boys and her are both suddenly pulled into the Metaverse and Mementos 

Ren double checks his phone for the MetaNav. His phone never turned it on, leaving on Sumire to be the culprit. Unfortunately, he and Morgana have been separated from her. They dive into Mementos and eventually find Sumire. When they do, there’s a figure standing in front of her. It looks fairly similar to Sumire herself with golden eyes. It’s her Shadow -- one that by the looks of it, is ready to step up and become the ruler of a Palace.

The Shadow taunts Sumire to some extent, calling her a ‘fake’ and how she’s made her whole life up to be a lie just be like ‘her’. Be someone that she could never be, blaming herself for things that were out of her control and trying to fill in a void and only making it grow bigger. Ren watches in horror as Sumire argues saying that it’s better this way. That she should’ve been the one to die instead and not ‘her’. Recalling from previous conversations that he’s had with her, Ren guesses that ‘her’ is Sumire’s sister, Kasumi -- a gymnast like her who shared the same dream but died in a car accident back in the beginning of spring.

Sumire is plagued by her own intrusive thoughts about not being good enough, not being Kasumi and blaming herself for her sister’s death since Kasumi wouldn’t have died if she hadn’t pushed Sumire out of the way. Shadows rise up to attack them, and Ren can recall what happened in the case of Futaba’s Shadow and her Palace as he and Morgana go to fight, Sumire’s Shadow doing the best it can to protect the real Sumire.

Ren’s able to talk to her. He’s willing to argue that if they got another chance to replay the day, Kasumi would still save her. And this is something that the Shadow knows. Kasumi had loved Sumire and was willing to sacrfice herself for her. Pretending to be someone that she’s not is clearly hurting her. This is something that Sumire already knows. She wants to see their dream become a reality, that’s why tried to make herself more like Kasumi.

With the help of her Shadow and Ren’s encouragement, Sumire breaks. She knows that she could never be like Kasumi, and that’s because she’s not. People have been trying to get her to act more like Kasumi from the pressure that’s been put upon her. But she’s not. She’s Sumire Yoshizawa, and that’s who her sister would want her to be. Much to Ren’s surprise, she awakens a Persona of her own upon accepting her Shadow -- Cendrillion.

Together, the three of them manage to take down the Shadows and get out of Mementos quickly -- mostly because Sumire just awakened and is drained. After making sure that she’s okay, Ren makes a mental note to bring this up after Okumura’s change of heart.

Morgana tries to persuade Sumire to join the Phantom Thieves, seeing as her help would be a great asset to them. However, Sumire declines. She wants to focus on her gymnastics for now, and make sure that her dream and Kasumi’s both come true. Ren understands but assures her that the offer still stands if she changes her mind. He walks with her to the station before heading back to the dorms.

Chapter 19: A Distinct Gap

And by the time that Ren gets back to the dorms, it’s... late. Like, rehearsal is almost over, and Ren missed everyone’s portraits but Banri’s and Taichi’s late. He apologizes quickly and admits that he got caught up in a little... something... on his way home from school. He’s only lucky that no one asks any further questions.

He watches Taichi’s and Banri’s performances with Yuzo and Izumi, and after seeing those two, he hopes that the other three have done better. Taichi’s felt like there was something missing, and Banri’s... According to the other two with him, Ren’s right. Banri ranked the lowest out of all three, with Juza’s so far being the best one. The primary reason for that?

It was easy to tell that the story Banri told was fake. It was rushed, and there wasn’t an ounce of truth to it. It honestly made Ren want to smack Banri with the script if he doesn’t get his ass in gear soon. When it comes to performing these, he will lose. Ren just wants him to take this as seriously as the rest of them do. It isn’t a game like he thinks it is. At this point, if Banri can see that, well that would be good enough for him.

Chapter 20: My Portrait, IV

With the point that Ren’s gotten up to in his story, there are still questions that are left unsolved for Sae. Where they responsible for what happened to Okumura? And what about their next target? Why did the Phantom Thieves target that person of all people?

Ren wants to explain, he wants to, but it’s getting harder. Whatever he was shot up with is starting to wear off and fatigue is getting to him. But he’s still pushing onward and answering Sae’s questions. Seeing him push himself like this is worrying the prosecutor. But Ren is determined to finish his story. He needs to do this, after all. And besides... they’re getting the part that Ren needs to tell Sae about the most.

And it all leads up to Ren’s biggest regret... not opening his eyes up sooner to the truth.

Chapter 21: Move-Out Notice

The day starts normally, but things start to look up when Haru tells the Phantom Thieves that her father is planning a press conference that night. It appears that he’s finally had his change of heart, planning on confessing his crimes to the public. In order to celebrate, the Thieves make plans to watch it from an amusement park that Okumura had previously rented out for a cancelled party, as well as to have a more intimate one during their school festival at the end of the month. However, this is als ot he same day as the portrait performances.

Ren manages to talk his way out of this one, since this technically counts as a rehearsal and not a show. The only condition is that he makes a quick prop run to get the model guns that Yuki and the Autumn Troupe need for the show after school. Ren quickly agrees. Sakyo, though, sends Sakoda with him to get them saying that Ren could use the extra help (really this is to get Sakoda out of his hair, but details.) Ren tries to protest since Untouchable is shady and he doesn’t want anyone knowing that he’s been there but arguing with Sakyo is like arguing with a brick wall half of the time.

Ren has no idea about Iwai’s connections to the yakuza at this point, but he gets the hint that something might be up when Untouchable’s manager is on edge around Sakoda.

As expected, Sakoda does rat Ren out to Sakyo about where he had gotten the models. It raises a red flag for Sakyo, who starts to get suspicious about what the fuck Mankai’s resident troublemaker is doing in his spare time. However, that is to be dealt with later. Because right before Sakyo can grill Ren as the boy is getting ready to leave in order to meet up with the rest of the Thieves, Banri announces that he’s leaving the Mankai Company with bags packed and everything.

There’s nothing that the Autumn Troupe can say to change his mind (not like Sakyo is even trying). Ren, frankly, is kind of stunned. Banri seemed so set on beating Juza at this... even though he’s confident that he already won, it seems like he’s just giving up. He doesn’t seem like the type to half-ass anything, and after getting to know him this past month...

That, and when Banri leaves Ren free to take his role, it leaves a sour taste in Ren’s mouth. After all, at this point, he’s pretty sure that Ren knows the lines better than he does. And that’s it for Ren. The roles at Mankai are written specifically for the actors. Switching roles isn’t as easy as it sounds.

And so, Ren follows after Banri as he leaves out of the dorm.

Chapter 22: Rekindling

When Ren catches up to Banri, the latter is confused about why the hell the brat is following him and trying so damn hard to get him to stay. He gets to finally prove that he’s not a coward and stand on stage. Ren refuses to let this get under his skin and tries to direct it back at Banri by asking why he wasn’t seeing things through to the end. After spending a month with the guy and handcuffed to him for a couple of days, Ren can tell he’s not really the type of person to leave things only half-done.

...that, and he had tried for months to get Ren to fight him until he finally accomplished that. When Kamoshida was still a teacher at their school, he stood in his way and never once backed down despite the risks. He was hellbent on beating Juza, and now he’s just decided that he’s won without really trying? It doesn’t sound right.

Ren actually provokes Banri a bit, thinking that the latter is just afraid that Juza might actually beat him again when it comes to this, too. Ann had told him about their fight a while ago when he asked her why they didn’t get along. Banri’s avoiding trying to get beaten in public again. It’s a matter of his pride, his hubris and Icarus is getting closer to the sun by running away rather than staying.

Barni doesn’t even try to argue. He takes it as a challenge. And, seeing as Ren doesn’t really need a ticket to the portrait performance, he gives Banri his. If Banri is going to see this as a challenge, then Ren’s going to play it like one. If after seeing Autumn Troupe’s portraits, he still wants to leave, Ren won’t try to stop him again. Banri takes the deal.

When Ren later tells the Thieves about this while they wait for the press conference to start, some of them finds it amusing that that was what Ren chose to get into Banri’s head and get him to listen. Haru even giggles a little. Ann’s just glad to see her cousin and her friend finally starting to get along. Ren... didn’t realize that they were, but thinking about it in hindsight...

Before Ren can think about it anymore, the press conference starts. Futaba boots up the stream on her laptop and the Thieves gather around to watch. Okumura confesses to his crimes against his employees and his unethical business practices. But when it comes time for the man to confess to contracting mental shutdowns, something... happens.

Okumura doubles over, clutching his chest as his eyes roll into the back of his head. Black goo, much like what made up the Shadows, start to drip from his face. The camera gets knocked over there and the feed is cut off.

Ren feels a pit drop into his stomach. No...!

Chapter 23: An Open Relationship

The Phantom Thieves stare at the now static-filled screen, absolutely stunned by what they just witnessed. This... This wasn’t right. This wasn’t right at all. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Why did that happen?! They did everything the same as they had done before, so why...?!

Haru hurries home, and Futaba is left in shock, still staring at the screen as the Thieves try to figure out what happened. She tells them that this was the same as what happened to her mother right before she died.

A mental shutdown. That’s what happened. Okumura suffered a mental shutdown. And there’s... there was nothing... It was--

Ren’s immediate thought is that it was their fault. They were the ones who targeted Okumura. It was his fault that they rushed out of the Palace so fast. They should’ve stayed to make sure that he actually did fade to rejoin himself back in reality, not... Maybe if they stayed it would be different... Maybe... Fuck.

Ren, Yusuke and Morgana head back to the Mankai dorms in relative silence, with Ren’s mind stewing over what just happened and thoughts only repeating that it was their fault, their fault, their fault, his fault--

Ren immediately heads upstairs to the attic, not saying a word to anyone for the rest of the night. He doesn’t even realize that what he said to Banri actually got through to him, and that the leader of Autumn Troupe is staying. Or that the “Brat” nickname he seems so keen on calling him has gone from derogatory to platonically.

When they get up to the attic, they’re confronted by Masumi and Kazunari confront the team about this, especially since the mental shutdown has lead to Okumura’s death. Ren and Yusuke quickly assure them that they don’t know what happened. The process was repeated the same way as it always had been. Nothing else was changed, so they don’t know what went wrong. Kazunari is quick to believe them, but it takes a while for Masumi to be convinced they weren’t responsible for Okumura’s death. He proposes the question of if they didn’t kill him, then who did?

And Ren doesn’t know how to answer.

Chapter 24: Ultra Yo-Yos

Things are getting better for Autumn Troupe. Banri’s finally giving a 100% to acting and to The Roman Episode. He’s even started coming to morning rehearsals. But things for Ren... not so much. That day at school, Haru doesn’t come in. And no one can get in touch with her, either. It’s cause for worry. All the comments that Ren has been hearing about the Phantom Thieves at school are not helping either.

It’s not until the next morning during rehearsals that Ren hears from Haru. She wants to have a meeting after school to discuss things. He sets it up easily just as Yuki comes in with the costumes for Autumn Troupe to try on. Normally Ren gets excited about costumes, but this time... Izumi takes note that some thing’s up, but Ren quickly dismisses the notion. He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine. Why wouldn’t he be?

Along with costumes, props get brought out as well. Sakyo takes the opportunity here to grill Ren on why they look so realistic and where exactly he got them. Ren just shrugs, not really wanting to answer. He really isn’t paying that much attention and gets smacked in the face with a yo-yo by Taichi. He... doesn’t even remember buying those. Apparently, Sakoda snatched them up with the leftover money after Ren had left him alone.

Ren’s kind of zoned out the rest of the rehearsal, even after Taichi apologized profusely for hitting him. He’s just kind of... gone. Not even the threatening letter that the company receives can snap him out of it. If anything, it makes Ren’s mental state a little worse. And it starts to worry Izumi and a couple members of Autumn. Just what the hell happened last night to change him so much?

Ren’s just lucky that no one questions the fact that he’s stopping by the theater for his meeting with the rest of the Phantom Thieves. They need to talk about what happened, there’s no avoiding it. Especially when the public has begun to blame the Phantom Thieves for Okumura’s death, calling them all murderers and changing the previous attitudes that they had of them pretty quickly. To make matters worse, there was a calling card found in Hanasaki’s principal’s office. Now they’re being implicated for his death, too. Haru knows they weren’t responsible for her father’s death; she was there after all when they stole his heart. However, it takes some reassurance for her to believe them about the principal. He was never even on their radar, so why...?

It hits the team then. They were set up. The other Metaverse User -- whoever the hell their Black Mask was... the one responsible for causing all the shutdowns and breakdowns in the first place. They had fallen right into their hands without even realizing it.

And thoughts start churning in the back of Ren’s mind. There was one thing that he had overlooked that he sincerely wished that he didn’t. He feels stupid and really wished that he had paid more attention to it in hindsight. And he starts blaming himself. If he had just figured it out sooner, maybe none of this would’ve happened. He was just so stupid and blind and it’s his fault. His fault, his fault, his fault, his fault. Why didn’t he see it sooner?!

For now, the Phantom Thieves must remain in the shadows and not draw attention to themselves until they can decide on their next move. For Ren, that’s easier said than done.

Chapter 25: A Midnight Lesson

Once again, Ren’s mentally gone during rehearsals that evening. It’s starting to get concerning now that he’s barely there. He brushes off all questions that ask if he’s fine, because he is. Why wouldn’t he be? Everything’s fine, don’t worry, I’m okay, let’s focus on rehearsals. Juza’s still struggling to get this move right...

It all comes to a head that night. The continuous loop of what Ren’s been hearing about the Phantom Thieves online and at school and even in the dorms because someone just had to bring it up at dinner has been playing in his mind, all with the ever-chanting chorus of things being his fault because he was too stupid and too naive and too much of a damn coward to realize that things were heading where they were.

And he can’t sleep because of it. Not wanting to bother Yusuke or Morgana with his issues (he’s their leader, he can’t let them see him falter, he has to be the example, he can’t break--), Ren gets up to try and clear his head about everything, but all he does is get in his head even more. He heads to the courtyard, trying his best to remain silent as to not wake everyone else. But he doesn’t realize that someone already is awake.

He runs into Banri and Juza in the courtyard, where Banri had been helping Juza get down some of their action sequences that he was struggling with earlier. When the two question him on what he’s doing awake at this hour, Ren begins to panic. He is just trying not to break down in front of Banri and Juza, but it’s difficult. He badly fucked up and he can’t tell them about it because they don’t know that he’s the leader of the Phantom Thieves or even that his friends are the Phantom Thieves. It’s hard to help the kid when he can’t even tell him what’s wrong.

And so, the bottle Ren’s kept everything sealed up in for the past few days starts to come loose. He’s struggling to keep a lid on it all, they can’t see, they can’t know, he can’t let them see him break, he’s supposed to be the strong one, just a crack could...! Ren does the only thing he can think of to do. 

He runs. He just takes off. He pushes past Taichi and Omi at the door, ignoring the calls from Autumn Troupe for him to stop and come back. Ren runs and just keeps running until his legs give out. He ends up in the middle of Mementos, having gone there without thinking. It���s the only place that he can truly be alone with his thoughts. ...unfortunately, those thoughts aren’t the best right now and Ren’s never truly alone. He always has his Persona -- in this case, it’s primarily Arsene -- by his side.

And it’s lucky that not even in the one place where Ren can think that he’s alone that he is alone. There’s someone there to talk sense into him. Arsene manifests in front of him, both to protect Ren from any Shadows that would dare to try and attack him right now as well as to calm him down. He is the manifestation of Ren’s heart, after all. While Ren’s plagued by these thoughts and not thinking straight, his Persona is able to to some degree. It takes Maruki -- Ren’s school counselor that he accidentally runs into when Arsene gets him to calm down enough to leave Mementos. It’s him that he walks back to the dorms with and helps kind of calm him down. Ren then tries to enter the dorms alone, but the moment he’s visible from the dormitory’s windows, Ren is being tackled by a super worried Izumi and Morgana, with Omi and Sakyo not too far behind her.

Apparently, after Ren had bolted, the Autumn Troupe boys woke up the entire dorm. The entire company is out looking for him, as well as the Thieves thanks to Yusuke and Futaba. Ren’s tears refresh anew as he’s taken back inside while Izumi thanks Dr. Maruki for bringing him back safe and sound. But because of their talk, Ren realizes that he can’t really keep this hidden anymore... can’t keep his lives separate anymore. Not after that talk with his own psyche... and counselor. I haven’t touched upon this, but Ren has been talking to him during his lunch breaks every Friday. That’s it. That’s the Confidant. It’s necessary for future plot.

So while they’re waiting for everyone else to get back to the dorm, Ren finally opens up about what’s been bothering him and that leads to telling the three of them about the Phantom Thieves and his identity. It doesn’t take long for the three adults to figure out who the rest of the Thieves are as well.

To his surprise, they... take it well. Sakyo had figured something was up with Ren’s strange behavior following Okumura’s death as well as small slip-ups he made throughout the year. Izumi is stunned, but now Ren’s absences are making sense. And Ren is having a hard time reading Omi’s expression at all. Everything’s out in the air with his guardians now, and Ren’s just kind of thankful that they’re understanding of things when he explains. It could’ve honestly gone a lot worse.

And yes, I did mean to say guardians. It also comes out that Sakyo was meant to be Ren’s original guardian. He owed Ren’s mother a favor (why though, he doesn’t say and Ren’s wondering why the hell the yakuza owes his mom a favor) and this was how she cashed it in. Ren had gotten the wrong address when he arrived, and because of Sakyo’s work he thought Ren would be safer at Mankai. But obviously, trouble likes to follow Ren around.

Ren manages to reassure them that they weren’t responsible for Okumura’s death and that they’ve been careful (except for with Masumi, but with Kazunari they didn’t have a choice). That’s about all he gets out before the remaining troupe members and Yusuke return to the dorms, Ren getting tackled again by notable members such as Sakuya, Citron, half of Summer Troupe and Taichi. Yeah, he worried a lot of them, especially with the way that he ran out.

Eventually after getting lectured again by the other troupe members -- Banri surprising Ren by being part of that and making him realize that maybe he did get through to him -- everyone returns to their rooms for the night... almost everyone anyway. Ren and Omi remain downstairs. Ren is still kind of worried because Omi hasn’t said anything. It takes a moment or two, but he does get Omi’s opinion on the matter. He’s more worried than anything else.

Because Ren didn’t see his portrait, Omi tells him about it. He tells him about the gang that he was in, about what happened to his best friend. All of it. It all comes back to one point: he sees the same reckless teenager that he used to be in Ren.

Omi warns Ren to be careful going forward. Considering what happened to Okumura, the Thieves pissed off some pretty dangerous people. Those aren’t the kind of people that kids can deal with. If he does this alone, he could get himself and the others seriously hurt. Ren promises he’ll do his best. That’s all he really can do at this point.

Ren tries to figure out what to do about the situation, and he knows that he could use the company’s help or at least warn them to be careful with everything that’s about to happen. He tried to keep them separate so they wouldn’t get hurt, but that’s not gonna happen.

Later, when Ren tells the Thieves that there are more people at the company that know, it’s... mixed results, but given the circumstances... yeah.

Chapter 26: Staged Bonds

The next week goes by fairly quickly, especially since midterms take place this week, too. Soon the Phantom Thieves regroup to discuss their next course of action. Futaba’s taken the past week to figure out that they were right and there was someone setting them up. The Medjed that provoked the Phantom Thieves during the summer wasn’t part of the organization at all.

Whoever provoked them used the situation they created to make the Phantom Thieves famous. They even hacked the Phan Site to mess with the rankings to put Okumura at the top. The timing and the target... they were all set up by one mastermind. Even if Ren’s suspicions about who’s involved in it are correct, then they still are missing the bigger picture. They have the puppets, but who is the puppet master?

Meanwhile, Sae is given full lead on the Phantom Thieves case. However, with recent events, there’s a lot of pressure from her bosses for her to capture the Thieves no matter what it takes, and if she succeeds, there’s a promotion in store for her. When Makoto is told about this, she quickly realizes that’s why Sae is aiming for, rather than to do what’s right. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to bring the Thieves in -- unknowingly targeting her own sister. Things are getting bad. Even the students of Hanasaki are interrogated.

So, in order to keep themselves from drawing attention, Makoto has the second years and Haru help her with the school festival. This includes helping with the special guest panel that they’ll be doing. Unfortunately, the guest that the student body has voted for Detective Prince Goro Akechi... the person who is working against them and the only one who could possibly persuade him to come is Ren. I should note, he is the last person that Ren wants to see right now, despite him starting to defend the Phantom Thieves in the media as he claims that they didn’t kill Okumura.

Even so, at first, all Akechi tells Ren is that he’ll think about it and ghosts him for the next few days. Ren is still irritated about it when Izumi takes him and Autumn Troupe to pass out flyers that afternoon. Normally he would’ve gone at this with Yusuke, but Yusuke’s way to focused on painting something -- whether on canvas or wood, Ren doesn’t know -- today that it is impossible to draw him away.

So, Ren is out handing out flyers with Morgana when he gets accosted found by the one person who hasn’t been talking to him for the past few days -- Akechi. They talk for a bit while Ren takes a break. Ren is honestly surprised a bit that Akechi has begun siding with the Phantom Thieves, considering how against them he was before. He also seems fairly confident that the Phantom Thieves are innocent... in the matter of Okumura’s death, anyway.

Akechi also considers Ren’s offer to visit Hanasaki for their cultural festival and finally gives him his answer: yes. In hindsight, perhaps running into him was a blessing after all... Akechi snatches one of Ren’s flyers before taking his leave, promising to be there closing night. It does seem like an... interesting show, after all.

Ren immediately tells the rest of the Phantom Thieves the good news.

Time goes by quickly, and the festival arrives. The Hanasaki students are joined by those from Ouka High School -- so in this case, Taichi, Tenma, Juza and for AU purposes Yusuke -- alongside Futaba. (Izumi’s excuse for sending the boys there was primarily to give them a bit of a break since they had been working so hard).

Either way, the guest panel begins with Makoto running the show with carefully chosen questions. All of them leads to Akechi revealing one fact: through his investigation, he has figured out the Phantom Thieves’ identities. Before he’s able to announce them, Ren acts quick, pulling away from his friends and calling Akechi’s phone to cut him off. Even though this was to stop him from saying anything, Akechi actually does request to meet with Ren and his friends in private. With Masumi’s help, as the rest of the Mankai troupe members present don’t know who the Phantom Thieves are yet, Ren’s able to separate actor from Thief.

In their little meeting, Akechi reveals that he has identified them as the Phantom Thieves as he had seen them enter the Metaverse outside of Okumura’s Palace. It was also here that he supposedly followed them into the Palace where he fought with the true culprit behind the mental shutdowns, resulting in his own Persona -- Robin Hood -- awakening as well. He wants to cooperate with the Phantom Thieves to bring this real culprit to justice, otherwise Sae would bring them all in no matter what it takes, even if it means using false evidence. If he is allowed to join their ranks, he’ll turn a blind eye to all that they’ve done...

It’s difficult, but the Thieves have no choice but to work with the detective for the time being. Ren accepts the deal. With the situation laid out before them on the table, Ren makes another decision -- one that needs to be enacted as soon as they make it to the theater.

I should put a side note here involving the post-festival scene with Sumire. It happens mostly because after regrouping, Ren and Taichi get separated from the rest of the group. Ren sees the way that Taichi is looking at Sumire dancing. How red he’s gone and how he’s mesmerized. after it’s all said and done, Ren invites Sumire to come see one of the Autumn Troupe’s performances, an arm looped around Taichi’s shoulders and a hand over his mouth to keep him from stopping him. Sumire accepts and is gone before Ren thinks about letting Taichi go.

Chapter 27: Passion Torn Asunder

Ren can no longer hide his Phantom Thief activities from Mankai Company. Not with what’s going on, and not with the problem looming over the horizon. And so, he asks the actors in their group as they walk back from the festival to gather everyone and meet him at the theater. Though they’re confused, they agree. It buys the Thieves a little time to think of what to do. Yusuke suggests doing what Autumn Troupe had done not so long ago: a portrait. 

Though the others are quick to bring up Ren’s stage fright, Ren... honestly believes that the idea makes sense. Even the topic does. While Ren’s biggest regret might be his stage fright, now he has something new to take its place: letting himself become blind to the truth until it was too late and someone else had to pay the price. How he didn’t trust those around him with his biggest secret when he knew that said secret could endanger their lives if he wasn’t careful. ...how he kept everything from the people who had taken him in and accepted him despite all the baggage he carried. It was time to clear the air. No more secrets and no more regrets. No more fear.

When the company arrives, they’re a bit confused to find Ren standing on the stage. The Thieves are waiting behind him to help support and tell the story, but the spotlight’s all on him. He can do this. Ren draws in a breath and once everyone’s seated, he begins. He tells the entire troupe everything, starting from the very moment he arrived in the city up until now. They are quiet throughout his performance, though Ren can clearly read the shock, confusion and relief on their faces. When he’s done, the other Thieves stand by his side and Ren has a single question to ask the Mankai Company: will they trust him?

The next day, the news comes out that there’s now a bounty on the Phantom Thieves’ heads. They’re just lucky that the company took the reveal fairly well. Now they have another group backing them, even if most don’t agree with their methods, they do care about these kids.

The Thieves eventually end up meeting up with Akechi at the theater to discuss the details of their little deal. Their chosen target is the same woman who is targeting them: Sae Niijima. Her own heart has become twisted because of all the pressure that has been piling on top of her to the point where she doesn’t care who the culprit is, she’ll falsely convict someone if it brings the case to a close. Changing Sae’s heart would also protect her from the same fate as Okumura. If the true culprit can’t get to her Shadow, they can’t cause a mental shutdown. Without little room for argument, the Phantom Thieves agree and begin their Palace infiltration -- the courthouse this time, taking the form of a grand and rigged casino.

It takes them a good few days to get through the Palace, and Ren’s lucky that they make it just before dress rehearsals, too. He hasn’t missed a show yet, and it looks like he’ll be able to keep up that streak this time. Unfortunately, though, Akechi trips that up when he suggests sending the calling card at the last possible moment in order to ensure that Sae -- ever on guard -- will actually have the calling card work on her and have her treasure manifest. ...that is the night before closing night for The Roman Episode. Given the circumstances, the Thieves have no choice but to agree. Hopefully Izumi isn’t too mad about them missing one night... (She’s upset, but after they explain things out a bit more to her, she understands.)

So, with him possibly being out of commission during the tail-end of the show run, Ren puts his all into the remaining rehearsals. Even the Phantom Thieves get in on this -- all of them, Akechi included -- sit in on the stage rehearsals to help Autumn Troupe get used to performing in front of a live audience. Futaba’s even started helping out in the tech booth to get things flowing smoother... she’s also having a blast positioning everyone during tech week.

So, they’re all present for the final tech rehearsal before dress rehearsal when Yuki runs into the theater in a panic. The costumes that he had worked so hard on are absolutely torn apart, with another threatening note left behind at the scene.

side note: the thieves are kind of surprised that akechi actually has nothing to do with this. he seems to be as in much shock as the rest of them are. there was a sneaking suspicion that he was responsible for the threats, but that just got proven wrong.

Everyone is pissed. Dress rehearsal’s tomorrow and they don’t have any costumes. So, it’s time to band together and haul ass.

Chapter 28: The Final Warning

Under Yuki’s direction, Autumn Troupe and even the Phantom Thieves work hard the next day, sacrificing dress rehearsal in the process, to make sure that the costumes are ready for opening night.

But, even with that in mind, they manage to get everything done in time. The costumes fit and the audience won’t be able to notice the stitches on them. From the closest distance, they still won’t be able to tell.

Akechi takes Ren aside later while everyone is passed out in the common area after their rush to tell him that there might be something that Taichi knows that they both don’t, considering his quiet reaction to the costumes’ destruction. That wasn’t a face of shock that he had like the rest of them. It was of guilt. And he has been wearing the same expression for a while now. So something’s definitely up.

And it’s that thought that lingers in Ren’s mind as they reach opening night. He keeps a close eye on Taichi, having Morgana follow him around when Ren can’t keep an eye on him. Taichi is only grateful that Morgana seems to be worried about him, having tears in his eyes whenever he thanks the cat.

Even without dress rehearsal, opening night goes off without a hitch. Though the actors are tired and everyone excluding Sakyo is found passed out in the dressing room. Ren takes note that Morgana is purring on Taichi’s chest, something that he realizes that Morgana does for Ren when he’s stressed or worked up about something.

Unfortunately, Ren doesn’t have much more time to think about it as another threatening note rears its head. Morgana once again doesn’t know where it came from. He admits to losing track of Taichi at one point, though. That, combined with the rest of the evidence that Ren’s gathered the past few days tells him to be on lookout for something going wrong.

Chapter 29: A Curveball Conundrum

Things proceed the same way that they do in canon, right down to the props going missing mid-show. Like before, Ren has Morgana keeping an eye on Taichi, but it’s been difficult to do with the show going on. Technically, Morgana’s not allowed to be backstage. He only gets a pass because Izumi like to play favorites. That, and Taichi’s gotten pretty good at giving Morgana the slip lately.

However, the situation’s solved fairly easily because of Ren’s quick thinking. With Makoto’s and Yusuke’s help (as well as a favor from Sakyo to get them a car), he’s able to get the stash of his own model pistols that he has been using in the Metaverse to use as props for the show. It takes a while for the pair of them to actually make it to the theater, so Juza still has to do the finger-gun thing during one of the scenes. Ren is still stunned that this actually works.

Chapter 30: A Shadow... The True Self Sakyo, Playing for Keeps

Everything goes smoothly for the rest of the show (aside from one line that Sakyo messed up, but given the situation, it’s not surprising that someone did) thanks to Ren not getting rid of his Metaverse weapons just in case. (though its not for props, though, it’s mostly just in case he loses or breaks the one that he’s currently using somehow).

As everyone settles in for the night, there are still thoughts weighing heavily on Ren’s mind. And that still guilty look on Taichi’s face. Every time Ren has tried to ask if something was up or there was something he wanted to talk about, Taichi’s brushed it off. But thanks to Morgana’s recon and the fact that nearly everyone at Mankai trusts the cat, Ren knows there’s something Taichi is hiding. But not even Morgana could get that from Taichi. It’s almost like... like...

On a whim, Ren takes a look at a name in Mementos, and it turns out to be a hit. He heads out on his own, telling the others that he just wants to make a quick run before they send their calling card in a few days. Ren wants to keep this quiet since it’s personal, and if he’s right, it’s a similar situation with Futaba’s own Shadow.

Or at least he wants to keep it personal but ends up running into Akechi down in Mementos as well, who had the same suspicions and decided to investigate (whether this is true or not, Ren has no idea.) The two of them travel into the depths of Mementos. 

In a small pocket of the mindscape, the two come face-to-face with a scared boy with dark hair, golden eyes shining with tears and dressed in one of the costumes for The Roman Episode with the exception of the visible tears. It’s Taichi’s Shadow. While Akechi immediately goes to fight it, Ren decides to take a different approach and holds him back. It isn’t acting like the Shadows that they’ve normally confronted in Mementos before. He’s not lashing out or anything. Actually, he looks scared as shit. Akechi thinks is just a ruse, but Ren is willing to take a chance. 

It takes some persuading (and getting called an idiot), but Ren carefully approaches the Shadow, calling it by his counterpart’s name. The Shadow honestly gets even more scared when he sees Ren and actually threatens to lash out. But this is also Taichi. Ren’s gotten to know him over the past few months, and his Shadow seeing him might just have made things worse. Ren takes his mask off, trying to put the Shadow at ease.

Taichi’s Shadow is absolutely terrified of something, and when Ren asks what and finally gets it across that they just want to help (recalling what Futaba’s Shadow did for her), Taichi’s Shadow completely breaks down and spills everything that Taichi had been burying.

After all is said, Taichi’s Shadow believes that Ren’s gonna hate him for what he’s done, but that’s not true. Ren cares deeply about all of Mankai, Taichi included. He hates seeing them hurt like this. And he’s willing to bet, that if he didn’t get kicked out for being a member of the Phantom Thieves, that they’re not going to kick out Taichi for all that he did. Ren’s left holding the Shadow as it fades to rejoin its counterpart in reality with the promise to set things right as soon as possible.

This is also where Rank 8 of Akechi’s Royal Confidant takes place if anyone’s interested about that, so there is actually a Mementos fight that takes place but the set-up is different. It’s more so Akechi being frustrated and confused with Ren’s approach to things and goading him slightly into agreeing to the fight in the first place by questioning whether he’s strong enough or not to do what needs to be done when it comes to stealing Sae’s Treasure. 

A lot of feelings are out in the open with those two by the end of it (and knowing what’s going to happen in a few short days, it also hurts like hell), and with Taichi’s situation as well. Ren can only hope that talking to the Shadow worked, and that Taichi will be able to do the right thing in the end.

Chapter 31: The Truth

Taichi is quiet for the next few days, but Morgana says that he seems to be a bit more at ease now. It eventually makes it to the night that the casino heist is to take place. As Ren gathers everything that he and the other Thieves that live at the dorms will need, he becomes the subject of Omi’s mother henning. Given what they’re about to do and what’s about to happen, Omi has a right to be worried.

They’re heading towards the common area, double checking Ren’s supplies when they find Taichi in the middle of the courtyard on the phone with someone. Some of the stuff that Taichi is saying is very incriminating. Ren and Omi carefully confront him, worried about what’s going on though Ren has a sneaking suspicion that he knows exactly what just happened.

It’s here that Taichi finally breaks down, unable to keep things bottled up much longer. As he sobs, he finally admits to being the one behind everything that went wrong with the show. He was the one who wrote the letters. He was the one who tore up the costumes. He hid the props.

These are things that Ren already knew and admits as much. Taichi’s Shadow had already told him everything. When Taichi asks if Ren stole his heart like he did to a lot of other people, Ren can only shake his head. He just sort of... nudged things in the right direction. This was all Taichi’s own repressed desires that are finally getting aired and him accepting them. What I’m saying is that Taichi’s Shadow was more along the lines of Persona 4′s Shadow Selves rather than Persona 5′s.

Omi comforts Taichi as he cries, believing that he’ll have to quit the troupe and acting now, despite wanting to stay at Mankai with everyone else. The two of them take Taichi inside once he’s calmed down. Ren reassures him, much like he did his Shadow, that everything will be alright.

Chapter 32: Confession

Omi and Ren take Taichi inside, where Autumn Troupe, Izumi, Morgana and Yusuke are waiting -- the former for their final meeting for the night, and the latter two waiting for their leader before they head out. But before they do, Taichi has something to tell everyone.

Taichi openly admits to being behind the sabotage and explains why. Prior to joining Mankai, he used to be a member of God Troupe. Under Reni’s instruction, Taichi was sent to spy on the company. If he could ruin their show, then he would be able to get a lead role in God Troupe’s shows, something he now regrets accepting.

When no one is sure what to say or do, Banri suggests doing their portraits. He was the only one who saw all of them, after all. It would help clear the air between everyone... and since Taichi’s felt incomplete, he can finally tell the whole story now that there’s no more secrets. Only the truth.

Unfortunately, Ren can’t stick around to see how this will turn out. The clock is running out for them. He wishes Taichi luck, reminding him that if they didn’t kick him out for being a Phantom Thief, then they won’t kick Taichi out for being a spy.

Izumi wishes the boys luck before Ren, Yusuke and Morgana head out to meet with the other Phantom Thieves and steal Sae’s Treasure. Only she, Sakyo (who had been the third person responsible for the script that Ren’s following in the interrogation room), Omi and Tsuzuru know what’s going on. Everyone else... doesn’t. They only know that the Phantom Thieves are going to be stealing Sae’s Treasure that day. Ren only promises the troupe that he’ll be waiting at the dorms for them as soon as the curtain falls on closing night.

As everyone’s confessing their biggest regrets, the Phantom Thieves begin a performance of their own. In the casino-like Palace, the Thieves confront Sae’s Shadow and defeat her. As Ryuji snatches up the Treasure, the team manages to convince Sae to change her ways much like Ren had done for Taichi only a few days before.

All seems fine and dandy until Futaba picks up on a few... okay, a lot of extra readings in the Palace. Somehow, the police manage to infiltrate the building and they’re looking for them. In order to keep his Thieves safe, Ren takes the Treasure and splits off from the rest of the team. He becomes a decoy, stashing the Treasure away and putting on a show to keep the police distracted while everyone else escapes.

Unfortunately, the plan doesn’t work out like everyone expects. While escaping the Palace himself, Ren is caught and arrested. In police custody, Ren is beaten and drugged and forced to sign a false confession to all the Phantom Thieves’ crimes. 

And that brings us to the present.

Chapter 33: My Portrait, V

Sae has been given the full story up until now. But as stated before, one thing has been clear throughout everything: Ren has refused to give the real names of his accomplices. Nothing that Sae says can goad Ren into giving away who helped him, who he worked with, the members of his team and anyone associated with him. Doing so would mean giving up his... his...

Ren’s mind starts to clear as the drug wears off. He knows what his role is, and he’s playing it rather well. He manages to get Sae to take his phone and convinces her to show it to Akechi on her way out. With time up, Sae leaves and the performance’s finale has begun.

Ren’s head starts to grow heavy as adrenaline fades and fatigue starts to take over. His head hurts like crazy... everything is starting to hurt. But through it all, as the minutes pass... he grins. It worked. Their plan actually worked.

And just as the show comes to an end, Ren passes out from exhaustion. The door to the interrogation room opens...

Chapter 34: The Night Before Full Bloom

Meanwhile,  the Mankai Company is preparing for thier closing night performance. All the Phantom Thieves -- excluding their leader -- will arrive to watch this one, as they usually do with their heists. It’s revealed that as Ren said, Taichi wasn’t kicked out of the troupe. He was accepted as a member fully. After all, the Mankai Company would never abandon one of their own, and that is what Taichi became when he stepped through the theater’s doors to audition. The troupe protects each other, no matter what the case. That point has been made pretty clear already.

And they thought that all would be well... that was until Ren didn’t return with Morgana and Yusuke late that night/early that morning. They claim that they don’t know what had happened, that Ren had acted as bait to keep everyone else from getting caught. But this is Ren that they’re talking about. He’ll be fine. ...right?

The thing is... Yusuke and Morgana aren’t sure. And they won’t be until they see Ren again. All they can really do now is wait.

It’s hard to sleep that night without Autumn Troupe’s Brat safe and sound in the dormitory’s attic.

Chapter 35: Parting Ways

It’s that worry from last night that’s sticking with everyone as The Roman Episode’s final show draws nearer and nearer. They know that Ren said he’d be waiting at the dorms for them after closing night, but... it’s weird not having him here. They trust Ren, they really do, but...

But it doesn’t erase the nerves. It’s when Taichi needs a shoulder to lean on the most because while taking a breather before curtain, he’s confronted by Reni Kamikizaka, along with Haruto and a silent Tasuku. They came to watch the performance.

Remembering the deal they made and then the fact that Taichi has broken it makes Taichi more afraid than anything else has in the past few days. But luckily, he gets bumped into by Morgana winding around his legs and hissing at two of the three God Troupe members. And its Morgana that draws in Banri and Juza to his aid. It gives Taichi the courage to stand up and finally quit God Troupe in order to stay with Mankai. He’s found the place where he belongs, and that’s where he’s going to stay.

And as they’ll find out much later, Taichi’s not the only one who quit God Troupe that night either.

Chapter 36: High Five

Izumi has to pull Sakyo and Omi aside before they step on stage to remind them to not let their nerves over what their boy is currently doing get to them. If Banri, Juza or Taichi -- or even the troupe members that are in the audience -- pick up on their nerves, it could throw off the show and give away that they know what’s up and something’s wrong. It will make the others worry. So, despite how concerned they are, they stomach that worry to keep up the charade that they’re in the dark.

So, the men steel themselves, and the show goes on. Despite the worry and concern in the back of their minds, they’re able to play their roles perfectly (in more ways than one) and make it the best run of the show by far. The curtain closes to the standing ovation of the audience.

Chapter 37: A Series of Encounters

Autumn Troupe is tackled by the remaining members of Mankai, as the Phantom Thieves (excluding Yusuke and Morgana, since they live at the dorms as well as Ann since she is related to one of the actors) have gone home to avoid raising suspicion.

Why Muku recognized Juza when he came to audition is revealed here, too. Much like Ann and Banri, they’re cousins as well. Juza wanted to keep quiet about it so that his reputation wouldn’t affect Muku in anyway.

Taichi also tells Yuki about how he shredded the costumes, and as punishment, gets roped into helping Yuki with the wardrobe for the Winter Troupe’s show and every show after that. All in all, not a bad punishment.

Everyone’s riding high on that closing night adrenaline that a certain fact slips their minds entirely until they bring up the situation with the props. It now that they remember that the Autumn Troupe’s Brat is waiting for them back at the dorms like he promised.

That is, until a notification pops up on someone’s phone. A new announcement has gone out that the leader of the Phantom Thieves has committed suicide while in police custody.

Chapter 38: Smoldering First Love

After reading the news, most of the Mankai Company is freaking out because that’s not a criminal. To them, that’s their bratty assistant director and a member of this - - - - - -. It’s Ren Amamiya, not just the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Everyone books it back to the dorms in a panic, wondering what the fuck is going on because certain people yusuke and morgana didn’t say anything about Ren getting arrested. The only ones who aren’t freaking out and keeping everyone from doing something stupid are Izumi, Omi, Sakyo, Tsuruzu and Yusuke since they know what’s going on.

However, they start freaking out too, once they get to the dorms. Ren is barely even awake on the common area’s couch -- beaten black and blue, with obvious bruises from too-tight handcuffs around his wrists. Sae is also there, having just brought him back. She was doing her best to keep an eye on him since there was no one else present when she arrived. She had gotten in thanks to a spare key Makoto had told her was hidden under the mat.

Sae only can explain so much herself, but she has to leave in order not to draw any more suspicion than she already has. She leaves Ren in the director’s care. While getting Ren upstairs to his room, the company is in a panic over what happened. But not even those who knew what Ren was doing can’t explain it since they don’t know the why. And Yusuke’s only one piece of the puzzle, it’s going to take more than him to say anything.

So, the conversation that Izumi and Sakyo have takes place in the dorms rather than in the theater like in the game while the former takes care of Ren’s injuries.

There’s something looming in the shadows... on both the Phantom Thieves’ front, as well as the stage’s... 

...Ren has a lot of explaining to do when he wakes up.

Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 4        

[eunoiaflow3r]

Not Who I Am Anymore - Oscar Diaz

A/N: we’re not going to talk about the ending lol. uhm will definitely have a few mistakes.

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, mentions of death (not to reader, or oscar). fem!reader.

Summary: Y/N’s past is something that dictates a couple of her decisions. This includes smoking and drinking. Everyone think’s she’s weird for it. She has her reasons.

Word Count: 5.4k

~

You thought you had moved on. You thought that with the help, and the mentoring,  the flashbacks, the thoughts, and the urges would go away. But they didn’t. Here you were at a Santos party, smoke in the air, alcohol littered across the long tables and the music wafting through the air ten times louder than it probably should have been. On the sidewalk, you took this time to really look at your surroundings and really scope out the area.

Spooky was on the porch, a glass bottle of beer sitting swiftly in his hands. Instead of his usual beader, a black shirt was fitted loosely, paired with black shorts and sneakers..and, of course, the ultimate gold chain that sat proudly around his neck. He was talking to Sad Eyes - you think his name was, when he noticed you, kind of to yourself, watching him. He smirked at you and walked over to where you were.

“Aye wassup? Can’t believe you actually came.” He gives you a kind of half-hug, before stepping away and really taking you in. You weren’t dressed like the rest of the girls who wore crop tops, and short shirts and skirts with heels. No, you at a Santos party, chose to wear jeans and a jacket. It looked a lot like something That girl Monse would wear, but he wasn’t gonna tell you that. 

“Came to watch the underage kids here, and make sure they stay out of trouble.” 

That was only half the truth. Of course, you came for the kids, especially Ruby and Jamal - you knew they could get into some serious trouble if they were along for long enough...but when Spooky first told you about the party, you knew you’d be there. No, you tried to convince yourself not to go. Alcohol and weed wasn’t a good idea, and you knew that. Spooky on the other hand, sure could be convincing, and maybe you were unknowingly making a deal with the devil by accepting his invitation, but at the time you didn’t care. Now you do.

“That really all you came for? I wasn’t part of that decision?”

The bottle in his hands was looking absolutely irresistible. The smoke in the air that you inhaled made your heart hurt because you knew if you did anything tonight, you’d be in trouble. That’s why you snuck your hand into your pocket and clutched your 2-year pin in your hands. Never again would you go back to the place you were in two years ago. Never again you promised yourself.

Oscar seemed to notice your eyes on his bottle though and unfortunately asked if you wanted some. You painfully refused and asked him if he could just get you a bottle of water instead. 

“Of course. Be right back.”

You remember when you first met “Spooky.” It was unconventional at the least. You were visiting Mario and his family during the summer. His mother absolutely adored you, and let you stay for however long you needed. You went back home, but right before school started, you decided to move to Freeridge more permanently. She let you stay until you could find your own place. Ruby, like the little devil he is, stole your clothes while you were in the shower.

You chased him around in a towel for them, until eventually you were locked outside, and pounding on the door pleading for him to let you in. His friends did nothing to help you, and you wouldn’t forgive them for weeks after that. Anyway, this just so happened to be the time where there was that lockdown. Minutes before it happened, Spooky approached the house, and he at the very least was intrigued. It’s not every day you see a beautiful kinda naked girl knocking on a door. When he approached you, you had absolutely no idea what to do.

A gang leader, you knew by the infamous name, “Spooky,” was smirking at you as you were half-naked, and he didn’t even know your name. 

“I - I uhm.” You paused, trying to gain some kind of composure. “ ‘S not my fault they locked me out.”

He smiled, you eyed his teardrop tattoo, and he looked you up and down from head to toe and back up again as if you hadn’t even been wearing the towel at all. “A gift from the Heavens if you ask me.”

You shyly looked away, and thankfully, if not weirdly, you were cut off by sirens. Angered, Spooky started banging on the door demanding for them to let the two of you in. As soon as they noticed the sirens and the knocks that didn’t sound like yours anymore, Ruby wearily let you and the gang leader in. 

To say the kids, especially Jamal was scared shitless was an understatement. You couldn’t bear seeing Spooky again, especially being barely clothed so you stayed locked in the room you shared with Olivia, embarrassingly hiding from Spooky and his wandering eyes.

The second time you ran into him, you were fully clothed thankfully. You found your own place, not too far from Ruby’s and Monse’s houses. What you didn’t know, was that his house was right around the corner as well, and on your way to your new job - Dwayne’s Joint. You needed a job, and how could Jamal’s father let anyone go when they were in need? So here you were, a waitress now, about to take an order for Cesar and his brother.

His eyebrow when he saw you and so did that signature smirk. “Aye, Y/N you walk here?”

“Yeah actually - how did you know my name?” you ask bewildered.

Cesar sunk down his seat not making eye contact with you. “I told him.” he whispered.

“Oh, and did you tell him that I worked here as well?”

Cesar’s no response was all the response you needed. Instead of reacting in the irritated way you wanted, you began actually doing your job. It’s too early to lose it - you literally couldn’t afford it. “What can I get you guys?”

“When your shift end?” Spooky asked not answering your question.

“Cesar, you want some fries?” You ask avoiding Spooky’s question. He said nothing, under Spooky’s intimidating eyes. You walked away anyway and got fries for Cesar and Spooky to share just so you didn’t have to spend any extra time under Spooky’s gaze. When the fries were done, you brought them to their table, and Cesar thanked you for it, but all Spooky did was look you up and down, wink and snatch a few fries from the basket.

What you didn’t realize was it was 5 minutes passed your shift being over so you grabbed your stuff, and walked out the door, ready to walk your tired self home.

“Uh uh,” Spooky caught your arm, “Let me give you a ride.”

“Oh, so now you know where I live too?” You asked clearly irritated. He had seen you almost naked, knew your name, where you lived, and you didn’t even know his real name.

“It’s a small block,” he shrugged, “Besides, you're tired. What type of man would I be to let you walk home alone this late?’

At this point, you didn’t have the energy to argue with this man any longer, so you just let the man take you home.

Ever since then, you’d see him around, and he wouldn’t waste any time flirting with you. You’d humor him, you’ll admit it, but you had no idea what compelled you to say yes to a drug and alcohol filled party. 

Maybe it was his smile or his muscles, maybe it was his incredibly sexy and convincing voice, or maybe it was that time he kissed you before you he dropped you off at your house.

He was telling you how his Dad came back, and he was ranting, and you knew it had been an incredible stressor for him. When it used to awkward around him, because of the towel incident, you were now incredibly comfortable around him, and it was almost like it never happened - although with flirty remarks he reminded you almost every day. 

You were saying goodnight when he kissed you. You were surprised, to say the least, but you kissed him back with just as much passion as you were receiving from his end. He couldn’t take it when he couldn’t feel any of you, so he pulled you into his seat, right onto his seat so that you were straddling him. You ended up hitting the horn on accident, and you both broke out in laughter before he kissed you again. His hands roamed from your hair to your shoulders, to your side and back, and finally to your ass where he wasn’t afraid to give a little attention to.

You don’t know how long you were in that car, but you know that after that night, a blush seemed to be permanently tinted on your cheeks when you’re around him, your lips a little swollen, and hickies would almost always be littered across your skin.

Since you first met him, you knew he was probably a bad idea. He’s not a bad person, but a bad idea. How could you be around the literal epitome of the life you used to live. Did you want to live around that life again? Certainly not. But Spooky made up for it. He never wanted you around during gang-related things and perhaps that distracted you from how bad living this life really was. 

Now that you were here though, all you could think about was that pin in your pocket and how long it took you to actually get it. You weren’t giving that up for one stupid night, no matter how hot he was, and how good his lips felt on yours.

Usually Oscar, (you call him that now), never invited you to these things. He knew they weren’t really your scene. And you were appreciative of that. He knew you didn’t like alcohol, or smoking, or drugs, and he wanted to ask, so many times but he could tell that you probably didn’t wanna talk about it. And at the end of the day, did it really matter anyway? 

When Oscar came back with your water, you were thankful for the distraction from all the urges surrounding you. You didn’t want to leave too early - you didn’t want to disappoint Oscar, but if things started to become too overwhelming for you, you would have no choice. 

“Oscar?” You asked, looking him in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Hm?” He hummed wrapping his arm around your hips.

“Wanna dance with me?”

“I don’t dance mujer hermosa.”

You smiled, intertwining your fingers with his. “You’ll dance with me.”

You pulled him to the lawn where everyone else who was dancing was, and pulled him in front of you. He smiled down at you amusingly following your lead. Reluctantly, he joined you and you both danced - until he decided he needed to be back in control and spun you around so that your back was against his, and you danced against him for a while.

He had to admit that you were unlike anyone he had ever met. He liked it, he liked you, so when you pulled away he was disappointed. You promised him you’d be back and you were just getting a refreshment. You asked if he wanted something, but he refused politely telling you he was fine. 

You went over to the refreshment table, but standing in front of the waters, perfectly stacked by Ruby, were two women, who were conversating. “Uhh, excuse me.”

They turned around with glasses full of tequila, their hair almost hitting you in the face. Their cleavage was hanging out, and from what you could tell, their asses were out as well. ‘Must be hella uncomfortable.’ you thought noticing how tight the clothes must be to leave nothing to the imaginations.

“Ooh look,” the brunette squealed, “it’s Spooky’s bitch.”

You were shocked. Since when were you anyone’s anything? You and Oscar sure haven’t put a label on anything, but you sure as hell weren’t claimed and definitely were not about to be called out of your name.

“I just want some water.” You sighed opting to take the easy way out. You didn’t want to start any fights here. 

“What don’t want nothing stronger?” The darker haired one asked. “Bourbon? Tequila? Beer? Whiskey?”

“The water is fine.” you were growing impatient with their antics. Could you just get your damn water?

“What you can’t take it? You a lightweight or somethin?”

You rolled your eyes, and the brunette caught it.

“La perra fea probablemente ni siquiera puede hablar español. ¿Para qué coño está ella aquí?”

(Ugly bitch probably can't even speak spanish. What the fuck she even here for?)

You scoffed, but waited to hear the other girl's reaction. 

“Ni siquiera sé lo que Spooky ve en ella. Probablemente esa mirada falsa e inocente que tenía.”

(I don't even know what Spooky see in her. Probably that fake innocent look she got going on.)

You were done with these girls but remembered that pin you had in your pocket and everything you had to do to get it. So you gained your composure.

“Escuchen chicas, solo quiero un poco de agua. Solo muévete de la puta manera.”

(Listen girls, I just want some water. Just move out the fucking way.)

And they moved out of your way. Despite what they said, that kind of hurt you, you didn’t want any drama. Especially with a crowd of gang members, and alcohol. It wouldn’t ev=nd well so yeah, you took the easy way out.

You went to go find Oscar, but you were pulled away by Ruby.  Jamal was next to him. “Hey Ruby, what’s up?”

“Hey Y/N…” he said, obviously hiding something.

“What’s wrong?” You asked wearily. 

He wouldn’t look you in the eyes. “Nothing….”

He was lying, and you were impatient. “Jamal, what’s going on.”

“Oscar and some guys are in the house asking why your like not drinking and smoking and stuff and they said that you were a sleeze and that you were way too innocent and that the only reason Spooky is with you is because you are good in bed but how would anyone know because you don’t dress like a -”

“Okay Jamal that’s enough!” Ruby yelled covering up Jamal’s mouth.

“You know I can’t keep secrets!”

You didn’t know what to say. In the back of your mind, you always thought about if Oscar would like you better if you drank, or if you smoked, but you had no idea he felt limited because you didn’t. You never asked him to quit, you never even told him not to do it around you, so what could possibly be his problem?

You clutched that pin in your pocket again and reminded yourself to not lose yourself again. No matter what people thought, or what they thought you were, it wasn’t worth it. 

The kids  were the only ones who knew about your past, so you were grateful they came and told you, but you had to leave. You could no longer hold up your happy persona, and you just wanted to go home where you knew that no guns, no drugs, no alcohol, and no weed would be around. 

“And what did Spooky say?”

Jamal took out his phone and pressed play on a recording.

You heard a chorus of guys laughing, and then eventually you heard Oscar’s voice.

“Nah I mean, it’s not like she’s too much of a bore or anything...she just don’t smoke or drink. It’s weird and sometimes I wish she would but I don’t know man. Maybe it’d be easier if she did -” 

Ruby snatched the phone before you could hear anymore, and you’re glad he did.

You hugged the boys, thanked them, and started walking away.

“Y/N where are you going?” Ruby called out to you.

“I’m going home guys, I can’t be here anymore.” The tears almost started falling, but you wiped them before you could. Ruby ran to you, and wrapped his arms around your waist hugging you tightly.

“I’m coming with you.” 

“I don’t want you to miss out on the fun.” you sniffled ruffling his hair.

“It’s not fun anymore.”

He and Jamal went home with you that night and watched movies with you, trying to cheer you up. They stayed over, and you couldn’t be more grateful to have boys like them in your lives - always there for you as you were for them. 

When Oscar realized you were gone, he called you repeatedly, and when you didn’t answer, he immediately hopped into his car and drove to your apartment. He knocked hard and knocked until you opened the door.

“What are you doing here Spooky?”

“What am I doing here?” he yelled. “And since when am I Spooky to you, huh?”

You were tired, and frustrated, and just a little heartbroken.

How dare he talk about you, and come to your door yelling at you.

“I need you to lower your voice.” you sighed. “You’ll wake the boys.”

“You think I give a fuck about those boys?” Tell me why you haven’t answered any of your calls, and why you left without telling me where the hell you’re going?”

“You don’t own me Spooky! You’re not my daddy! But I should just stick around though right? ‘Cause oh no, “she’s not too much of a bore,” Right? “It’d be easier if I smoke and drank though wouldn’t it? It’d be easier if I damaged my lungs, and my brain, and my stomach for you?! Fuck off Spooky.” You were on the verge of tears. “I’m not changing myself for you, or your petty ass friends, so just go the fuck home!” 

He didn’t know how to react with you yelling at him like that. He’s never seen this hurt side of you, and he’s sure he never ever wants to see it again. He didn’t know how you found out about what he was saying but he wishes you didn’t because he didn’t mean any of what he said the way you took it. Every time he looked into your eyes though, all he saw was hurt, pain, anger, and disbelief.

The same things he was feeling himself although he’d never admit it. It hurt his heart to see your red eyes botched from crying, pained him to see your hair a mess by how many times you’ve inevitably pulled it out of stress. It angered him that he said those things, and he was listening to all those whining bitches around him. He didn’t believe he could let himself listen to all those hating people that surrounded him on the daily.

Before he could defend himself, the door slammed in his face and he let it. He didn’t know what to say, but soon he would. There was no way he’d let you slip away. You were too good. But maybe that’s exactly why he should let you go. If tonight proved anything, it was that you weren’t for this life, and who was he to let you around it? Hell, maybe he shouldn’t be around it either. Maybe what tonight really proved to him was that life outside the Santos, and outside of the bad decisions and outside of the violence. If there’s one thing you taught him, it would be to never let anyone change him. The gang life changed him. The Santos changed him. But you were bringing the real him back out and of course like everything else, he fucked it up.

When he got back home, the party had dispersed. Cesar was in the living room, and he jumped when he heard Oscar come home slamming the door. He heard chairs being shoved, tables, cups. Anything in eyesight was being disheveled at the hands of Oscar.

“Aye, aye!! What the hell are you doing?!” Cesar yelled over the commotion.

“Fuck this shit man!” Oscar yelled to no one in particular.

Cesar rolled his eyes and went back to his room. Whatever the problem was, could be solved tomorrow. 

The next day though, once Ruby and Jamal left after telling them about a million times that you’d be okay, you started packing a bag. It’s time you went back to your old life and visit for a while.

It’s been 3 days, and 18 hourse since you’ve been gone - Cesar’s been counting because that’s how long Oscar’s been going fucking crazy. He was yelling at everyone, almost killed a guy, and just has been absolutely restless. He’s called you, texted you, went to your job, your house, your favorite restaurant and nothing. Oscar didn’t know what to do with himself. 

It hurt him to know you were out there mad at him, and he never got a chance to explain himself or tell you how sorry he was for everything he’s done. If there’s one thing he’s realized these past three days, is that he could live without you, but he didn’t want to.

Before you, he wasn’t taking care of himself. He thought of people as disposable, and he was literally angry all the time. After you though, he is quite literally almost a new person, and he loves who he is now. 

Without you though, he was back to being Spooky: the notorious gang leader. 

You gently lay the flowers down on the ground in front of you, followed by a single tear. Two years ago today, the love of your life overdosed. You remember like it was yesterday.

You had already gone off the grid when you met him. Drinking, smoking, and hookups almost every night. So when you met him, adding drugs to the mix wasn’t very hard. He had been your first and last dealer. All your friends tried to warn you to stay away from him, but you didn’t care. You were in love with him. He was caring, and kind, and funny. You were in a bliss. 

He had even asked you to marry him one night. You planned children with him. 

Unfortunately though, one night you came home to find him dead. He had overdosed while you went out to get more drinks. 

After his funeral, your friends basically kidnapped you, helped you detox, sent you to rehab, and went with you to AA (Alcohol Anonymous) meetings. It wasn’t as easy as it sounds though. Detox hurt like a bitch, and you’ve gone through it at least 5 times before you finally quit for good. You’ve gone to rehab a total of three times, and you can’t even count how many times you’ve gone to AA meetings.

At first you did it for him. You did it to try to get sober for the both of you - since he couldn’t anymore. But soon after you fell off the wagon, because trying to keep his memory alive wasn’t enough of a motivation. 

Wanting to get out of that life, and back to normal you realized, was motivation enough. You shouldn’t live for someone else - only for yourself.

Once you got over the guilt of his death, that’s exactly what you did. Lived for yourself.

When you left the cemetery, you got a couple of texts. The ones from Oscar you ignored, but the ones from Cesar, you immediately opened.

Cesar: Y/N. Spooky kicked me out, can I stay at yours? 

You: Ofc! You know where the key is.

Cesar: You’re a lifesaver, I love you forever.

You had to get back home. You couldn’t let Cesar live on his own, and you weren’t sure how much food you had in your fridge, how would he get food? And why the hell would Oscar kick him out? His own brother, only fifteen! Oh boy, you were gonna kick his ass when you got back home, for more reasons than one.

When you were finally back, you noticed Cesar dead asleep on your couch, blankets twisted every which way. His mouth hung open, arm across his face, chinese on the floor, and the tv still on. You couldn’t but laugh at his craziness. You fixed his blanket so that it was more comfortable for him, turned off the tv, and put up the chinese in case he wanted them for leftovers.

You wrote him a note in case he woke up during your visit to his brother.

‘Hey, I’m back. Don’t be alarmed, I’ll be right back.”

 Love, Y/N

The walk to Spooky’s was nauseating. Usually when you took this trip, your heart was ecstatic, and your stomach filled with butterflies. Usually, you couldn’t wait to see him, and couldn’t wait to hear his laugh, but now all you wanted to do was punch him in his face.

When you got there, surprisingly, there weren’t any people littered across the yard. Giving you a little extra courage considering the lack of people, you started knocking on the door..hard.

He opened it ready for a fight, but his body immediately deflated when he saw you.

“Y/N.” He breathed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? No seriously, what’s going on? Because no self respecting man would kick his teen brother out of the house.”

“I -”

“No. You listen. I don’t care about your reasoning, and I don’t care about anything you have to say. I only came down here to tell you that he’s staying with me, until you come to your fucking senses.”

“No, wait- “

“You don’t get to have the last word, Spooky.”

He absolutely hated when you called him that. When you said that name it sounded like poison, like your dehumanizing him. When others called him that, he felt a sense of authority. When you called him by that stupid ass name, it’s when he knows he’s fucked up, and he’s felt like you shot him in the chest 100 times. 

The next morning, you were eating breakfast with Cesar.

“Do you need a ride to school?” You ask.

He nods. 

“Okay, well after school I’m gonna take you shopping for new clothes too because you can’t go around in the same three outfits everyday.” You say trying to lighten the mood. 

“No, Y/N it’s okay. You’ve already done enough, believe me. I can’t ask for anymore.”

“Good thing you didn’t ask. And I sure as hell wasn’t asking either.”

Once you were pulled up in front of his school, he looked fidgety.

“Where did you go?” He asked, worried.

“I went to go say goodbye to my old life. For good.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a great thing.” You sighed . “Speaking of, I’m gonna go to one of my meetings after I drop you off. Do you need me to pick you up afterwards?”

“No I’m good. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just need to let a few things off my chest.”

_

As soon as you drove off, Cesar called his brother.

“What?” He sneered.

“If you want to make things up with Y/N, go to this address quickly.” He gave him the address. “Sit in the back, that way she won’t notice you.”

Oscar was beyond confused but nevertheless, he pulled up outside of a nice looking building and went inside, following the directions, and looking for the room number that Cesar gave him. When he looked inside, there were people all around sitting in chairs, and a podium in the very front that he noticed you walk up to.

He sat in the very back where Cesar told him so that you couldn’t see him.

“Hi, I’m Y/N and I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi Y/N.” The crown chorused.

This was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting Oscar realized. You never told him you had a problem. Jesus Christ, he felt like a proper dick. He wanted to shoot himself. He wished he could take everything back, and apologize profusely.

“I’ve been sober for almost three years now.”

The crowd started clapping, including Oscar. He was proud of you.

“This past weekend,” you started, “I went to go visit my ex.”

Oscar’s jaw clenched, along with his fist. He was furious. So that’s what you’ve been doing this whole time? One fight, and you go back to your ex? 

“He overdosed four years ago.”

Oh. He died. Again, Oscar felt like a piece of shit.

“I went crazy when he died.” you began. “I literally almost killed myself with all of the drugs and alcohol consumption. It took me a long time to get back on my feet again, and to stop feeling sorry for what happened. Hell, I was going to marry the man I did drugs with! Granted, we were gonna come clean, but he died before he was given the chance. I still had a chance. It was hard, and this weekend proved that it was worth it.” 

There were tears in your eyes, and all Oscar wanted to do was wipe them away. God, he wanted to punch himself multiple times over and over again until he was almost dead. How dare he make you feel bad about something, let alone something that took you so long to overcome?

“I went to a party where there was alcohol and drugs and things, and there were so many temptations, but I didn’t give in, and I’m so happy I didn’t.” A few tears fell from your face. “I might have lost a person very important to me, but my sobriety is just as important, and I wasn’t going to give up almost three years worth for one night, and stupid people.”

You walked off the podium, and people started clapping loudly in support. Now that you’ve said these things out loud, the more great you felt. When you were finding your seat though, you caught a glimpse of someone in the back. You were furious. What the hell was he doing here?

You walked over to him, silently telling him to follow you, and he did right outside.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Y/N, I’m an asshole, I’m a jerk, and a ass, an idiot and a prick.”

You looked at the ground. “Go on.”

“I am so fucking sorry, you have no idea. I’m selfish, and I’m the dumbest fuckup ever, and I don’t know how to make it up to you.” 

He steps closer to you, and you let him.

“What I do know is that I’m a different person when I’m with you. I’m the person I want to be, and I know its such a fucking cliche but I have never loved anyone like I love you.”

You were crying now, and he was starting to too. He walked closer, and pulled you into a bear hug. 

“I shouldn't have judged you, and I’m so so sorry. I know talking and apologizing won’t make up for what I did, but what can I do?”

You stepped back, and looked him in his eyes before smacking him hard across his face.

He held the side of his face clearly hurt, and said nothing.

“I love you too jackass.”

He smiled, and pulled you to him kissing you softly. Tears fell between the two of you but you didn’t notice. He pulled you closer to him, wrapping both his strong arms around your waist lifting you a couple of inches from the ground. His lips tasted like honey between yours, you could feel all his stress evaporating as soon as you wrapped your arms around his neck. When you pulled away, he pressed a quick chaste kiss to your jaw, and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

_

A couple of weeks later, you learned why Oscar had kicked him out and in fear of you leaving him, and never forgiving him again, he solved it - just like you knew he could.

He seemed to figure out the most stupidest way to do so though because here he was in front of you bleeding, with gashes all over his face, arms and chest: Abuela helped clean him up.

“You’re an absolute dumbass.” You said, helping clean his wounds.

“I did what I had to do.”

_

The people who had talked about you at the party almost a month ago, apologized and you knew that Oscar had something to do with it.

Even though you never asked him to, Oscar also slowly stopped drinking and smoking.

When you confronted him about it, he just shrugged and said, “I don’t feel like damaging my lungs, my brain, and my stomach no more.”

You smiled, and cheekily climbed onto his lap pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to mamas,” He kissed you sweetly. “You’re worth it.”

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 10: Believer

Hello everyone!

I apologize for my lack of posting. I have barely survived midterms and I have found myself with a writers block once more. I am hopefully going to be able to give myself a little break between the end of the semester and after finals and the beginning of my summer courses. Thankfully I only have 2 summer classes so hopefully that will make it easier to post. 

I have some announcements coming up soon and I will hopefully finish writing the missing chapters for this story and only have to post and edit. So far, I have not been able to edit anymore so I apologize for any grammatical error. 

I really hope you are enjoying reading the story because I had a really great time writing it. Hope you have a great weekend!

I apologize for constant flashbacks but they are important to the plot, I promise!

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 4k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog​

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 10: Believer

"Very well, this seems like a good start." She said as she finished reading his confession. She moved towards the camera and turned it off, signaling that she would be taking the paper and would adhere to her part of the deal.

"What is she doing?" Spencer whispered to Emily. "Without a video confession, the written one can be considered coerced. We would be back at square one."

"There is the surveillance camera, genius."

"Of course she has a backup plan." He looked at the black camera, smiling at the knowledge.

"Now tell me, who left you, was it, mom or dad?"

"My dad." She readjusted in her seat. "How many victims did you kill total. We've found five, but it seems to me that is a low number for someone as angry as you."

"Fifteen, some of them are lost in the desert, some are by the arches, they should be found fairly soon." He shrugged and continued to look at her. "Why did he leave?"

"My mother got pregnant when she was young. It was a mistake, they didn't love each other. They married because of me, so it was only a matter of time before they broke, and break they did." She fought the urge to look back, hoping that nobody aside from Hotch would review the security tape. "Did you kill your father?"

"First one. He's in the arches, his favorite place in the world."

"Did your mom not accept his apology?"

"Well, he didn't really apologize until I had a gun to his head, but my mother was always kind, so she forgave him."

"Why did you kill him then?"

"I didn't forgive him." He winked at her. "Did you look for him?"

"I did."

"And?"

"That's your fourth question."

"I don't care, I want to know."

"He is dead. As dead as can be." She said out loud for the first time. "I hired a private investigator and found he crashed his car two years after he left us."

"Karma is a bitch."

"Why keep killing if you got rid of him?"

"For the same reason, you joined the FBI." He smiled at her, "to show my dad that he wasn't gonna dictate my life. That I was not going to let him be my end goal."

"It seems to me he is. You tracked him down, killed him. For some that might be enough. But you never got closure so you decided to pray on people who made mistakes. Where did you find them?"

"I worked at a counselors office."

"Well, that is rather obvious now. Maybe you should have gotten some help yourself." She stood, ready to leave the room, "hope you enjoy prison." She turned to exit the room.

"My final question, if you had found him, what would you have said?"

"I don't know." She responded.

"Bullshit."

"Well, I couldn't  ask him why  he left because I already know that, so I don't really know what I would have said." She turned to him, "what did you tell him?"

"I told him trousers weren't his thing." He stood, the handcuffs falling from his hands as his smile grew wider. "You should really be more careful with what you leave laying here, doctor."She reached for her gun but everything happened so fast she had no time to fire it. He seemed to run into the wall, only this one was not as hard as it seemed and a giant chunk collapsed as he made his way through, and just like that he had exited the station. Prentiss and Reid rushed in and through the now giant hole in the station but the man was nowhere to be found. Lucas Heavensbee had just vanished on her watch.

"Fuck!" She yelled and made her way to the office, the team was now making their way to the interrogation room but stopped in their tracks as they saw her approach. "I need access to the security cameras, now." She moved towards the security office and asked for the feed of the last couple of weeks to be played, there she found there were about three days missing. "He planned this, and someone helped him. He knew exactly what he was doing. That bastard played us!" She rushed out and into an SUV, driving directly to his house that was now under surveillance. She looked around, looking for anything that would indicate he had been there. It was fast to spot it, he had managed to slide through the police cars and left a note for her.

I just wanted to make sure you knew this had nothing to do with you doctor, but I simply can't let my father win. I am sure we will hear from each other, and then we can converse from one orphan to another. Until then.

She was ready to show the note to them, as Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid made their way through the house. The note was still crumpled in her hand, but as the local police entered she decided against it. The two agents were the best people she had ever met, she knew it since the moment she joined the FBI, and she knew they were trying to make her feel better about the whole situation, but there were some things she couldn't get past. This man had killed fifteen people and kidnapped so many more and he had slipped right through her fingers. He had made a fool of her, and she would be damned if she didn't catch him. Telling Emily and Spencer would worry them, and they would be on her case about it becoming an obsession, just like she had done after their first case.

One year ago (I think?)

Her leg bounced as she drove with the social worker and two of her co-workers. This was her first big assignment, and she wasn't sure she would measure up. It was also important to note that while Emily and she tended to get along well, Spencer and she hadn't spoken almost at all since the sweater incident.

"Should I introduce you as FBI agents?"

"No, I think it's best if we come as social workers, there is less hostility." Prentiss' said as she gave both Reid and her their fake badges. She placed her FBI ID inside her bag and took a deep breath, it was a simple mission, they would be in and out.

Never, and I mean never, say something will be easy, as this almost assures you that is not the case. The social worker, whose name was Daisy, had been shot and was now dead. They had become trapped in the middle of a war between the cult leaders and the local police. It's as if the universe wished to remind her just how much bad luck she could have.

She heard them talking to the FBI, and food had been delivered so she assumed they had implanted microphones. Now they had to find a way to communicate with them and let them know what they had concluded.

"Which one of you is it?" The man said as he pointed a gun at them.

"Are we playing tag?" She asked stupidly, earning a glare from her partners.

"Do you think this is a joke? Which one of you is the FBI agent?" She turned to look at the woman and man, trying her hardest not to freak out.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked, clearly nervous.

"I will ask you one more time, and if none of you tell me I will not hesitate to shoot all three of you. Which one is the FBI agent?"

She saw Emily stir and knew she had to act fast if she wanted to save her. "I am." She said before either of them could stop her. "I'm the FBI agent. Though I'm fairly new so I don't really have that many secrets to tell. I was barely cleared to be on the field. If you really think about it, I'm not very helpful, so I think maybe if you let it slide I could-" she felt a fist connect with her right cheekbone, silencing her.

"Take her to the back." He instructed one of the men. She gave one last reassuring glance to her teammates, hoping this wouldn't be the last time she saw them.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the door to the room she was in opened and Ben came in. You would think that having a name like Benjamin wouldn't exactly command respect, but she wasn't one to judge cults.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you told your men to lock me here." He slapped her across the face.

"Who sent you?"

"My boss?" Her response was received with another slap.

"Do you think this is a joke?"

"I think that you need to feel powerful because a part of you knows you're not enough." She spoke hoping her team could hear part of their discovery, even if she was receiving punches from the man as she continued. "You think you can get away with stuff because you prayed on the week, but deep down you know that there are people here who could stand up to you, and if they did you would be done for." She felt a warm liquid fall from her lips as he continued to beat her. "I know you pray on young girls. You're nothing more than a pedophile that uses the bible as a way to manipulate women to give their children to you." As she fell he started kicking her and she tried to avoid making noise, but the pain was too much. "This is nothing, I've dealt with worse." She spoke, hoping they would understand. "I've dealt with much worse, this is nothing."

"Who do you think you are?!" The man said, enraged at her defiance.

"Nobody, just the one person that knows you better than you know yourself." That earned her the hardest hit, and she knew she wouldn't be conscious for much longer, she had to let them know. "Your suicide won't work, there are people that are skeptical and you know it. This isn't about God, or even your preferences, this is about you Ben, and how you are so terrified to go back to prison you are willing to kill your followers to avoid it, because you know they would see right through your act, you are nothing but a coward." The last kick took place and the man left the room. "Don't change the plan, I'm okay." She whispered, hoping they could hear her, wishing that even if she died right then and there, they could save the people trapped in this church.

When she woke, a woman was there tending her wounds. "Be careful, I think you might have some broken ribs."

"Don't tell Ben, he might come and finish me off" she joked, but the woman gave her a pointed look as if letting her know that was a possibility. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"I don't know, maybe a couple of hours. They will come and get you for the ceremony, use you as an example."

"That's okay, I've always wanted to be one of those."

"This is not a joke girl, he's dangerous."

"I know. The trick is to have nothing to lose."

"Well, I have a daughter."

"Ben's wife, right?" The woman flinched at the mention. "You're not okay with that, are you?" And then, the pieces of the puzzle fit together. "You made the call, didn't you?" Before the woman could confirm her suspicion, a man entered and pulled her up, not worrying if her body ached, and took her to the church. She used the door frame to help her stabilize herself and took in the sight before her. It was still light, but with the time she lost she couldn't be sure how much time they actually had left. Emily and her locked eyes and she approached, her eyes full of worry, but her facial expression was one of pure anger and hatred. "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate me?"

"How could you lie to us?" She asked, and as the men made their way to the front, her tone didn't change, but her questions did. "Are you crazy? Why would you do such a stupid thing? They could have killed you."

"I know, but it was either me or all three of us. Besides, I'm fine. We need you and Reid on the inside."

"This is reckless behavior."

"I know, but you were about to do the same."

"I have experience."

"Exactly, I can be a scapegoat."

"You are the most stubborn person I have ever met."

"I know, it's a gift. Now listen, I think there are mics, in the food, and if I'm right, I think I have been able to feed some information to the team, but we need to figure out when this massive suicide will take place."

Emily nodded and gave her an apologetic look before shoving her harshly. She fought the urge not to wince but it was almost impossible with her broken ribs. "You are a disgrace to this country, and I hope whoever you work for knows that they will not get away with it."

Ben looked over and stared at her, and despite her pain and the fear of another beating, she stared him down, letting him know that he would not get the best of her. She was gonna save as many people as possible and he could suck it. He was just another man who thought they were invisible because they weren't afraid to beat you up.

Spencer observed the interaction and the defiance she had amazed him. Despite the bruises and the swelling of her eye, not once did she lower her gaze or show any sign of weakness. Never in his life had he felt so attracted to someone as he did right then and there, but now was not the time to daydream of your coworkers, especially when they could be on the verge of dying.

As the day progressed, she continued to look for ways to tell the team, finally resorting to using the window to write a message. When she was younger she used to huff into a window to create fog and used it to write, so she did the same, letting the team know she could possibly convince some people to exit and they could come in after.

"What are you doing?" The woman from earlier spoke as she entered the room.

"If I'm gonna die, I might as well go doing something I like. Fog drawings." She said and covered her work. "Listen, don't ask me how I know this, but the FBI might strike tonight and if they do, he's not gonna cooperate, we need to get as many people as possible out."

"No, I can't do that."

"Please, I know you're scared, I'm terrified right now. I might have peed my pants earlier today, but that's not the point. The point is we need to save as many people as possible. Please help me get them out." Through the window she saw a figure, holding three fingers up. She nodded and turned back to the woman.

"Three a.m.?"

"You saw him too?"

"Yeah, one would think the FBI would be a little more discrete."

"We have our moments. Now please, make sure to get everyone out before then." The woman sighed and nodded, agreeing to the plan. "And one more thing, the people I came with, how are they?"

"Are they also agents?"

"No, of course not. I just dragged them into this and feel responsible for them. They are good people."

"The man seems to be fascinated by Ben, and vice versa. The woman keeps pacing around as if hoping for enlightenment. She has talked to some people though."

"Okay good. Please make sure to get them out too." After she left and closed the door, the woman sat down, her injuries making it hard to breathe. "I don't know where I am, or how to get out, but that will not change the plans okay? I need to make sure all these people are safe."

She wished she could hear someone ensuring her that would be the case, but there was no answer. She felt herself get dizzy and knew there was definitely internal damage that would take time to heal. Turns out her mother was wrong, money couldn't get you out of everything. It felt like an eternity, but she knew the time was approaching. She saw and more and more dark figures gathered around the church. She even caught a glimpse of Derek, who seemed to be looking around, as if hoping he could find her. She huffed one last time and wrote a message to him.

The door opened and nobody came in. She knew what it meant, so she gathered her remaining strength and walked out. Everything was dark and she could hear Spencer's voice coming from the main room. She followed it and stopped as she noticed him trying to talk a man down from placing explosives. She cursed under her breath. She stepped forward only to be pulled back by someone.

"Don't even think about it." The man said.

"Derek, we need to help him."

"I know, I'll go, join the rest. Everyone is already out."

"But-"

"Go!" She began walking out before it all happened. Reid ran towards them and Derek pulled the both of them to the nearest and hopefully safest area before a sharp pain on her head made her vision blurry and soon after she lost consciousness.

"I think she will appreciate it if you showered." She heard someone say, once she finally regained consciousness.

"Well, then she can tell me that herself." Another voice responded.

"Emily, you and Spencer have been here for a week. You need to go to the hotel and rest. At least the kid has been using the shower."

"I am not leaving until she wakes up. That includes leaving to bathe."

"Neither am I." A third voice added to the mix. "Though I can't say the same thing about avoiding water."

"How am I supposed to leave if I can't trust the two of you to take care of yourselves?"

"Easy, your flight leaves in less than an hour and you are still here. Unless you want to be paying fees you will get out of here."

There was a sigh of resignation before the voice spoke once more. "Reid, you're in charge until she wakes up. Then she's in charge."

"You're gonna put the one of us that was hit in the head 'in charge'? What does that even mean?" The female voice complained.

"I have made my decision. Maybe if you showered, things would be different." The voice faded, and the steps of the person became less clear, so she assumed the person was leaving.

"I think Morgan is right, you should take a shower."

"Don't make me hurt you, Reid."

"It was just a suggestion."

She didn't want to interrupt their banter, but her urge to sneeze was bigger, so she let her body do its thing. Though it is important to let you know that sneezing with broken ribs is horrible.

"She's awake!" Emily screamed and launched herself onto the bed. She started crying from pain after the action. "You're so happy you're crying!"

"Prentiss, that might be because you just jumped on her ribs." The man clarified as he stood, placing his hand on hers. The feeling was foreign, but she could let it slide once.

"I am so sorry! But I am so happy you're awake."

"What happened?"

"After the explosion, you hit your head, and because you already had injuries your body gave out, exhausted. Thankfully the ambulance was already there and we could rush you to the hospital. You've been sleeping for a good week." He explained.

"Well, then I don't get a lazy day for another three months." She joked and the two joined her. "How are the believers?"

"They're all safe and accounted for. Sadly we lost Ben's wife."

"Does her mom know?"

"Yes, but she wanted me to tell you she doesn't blame you and hopes you do get better." There was a moment of silence, as she processed the message, as well as her guilt.

"And I want you to know I ate your Jell-O." This caused her to laugh again. No matter how painful it felt, she was glad to be alive.

"Remind me to never get stuck in a hospital under the care of Spencer Reid. He'll eat my Jell-O."

"Let's make it a no trip to the hospital policy."

"Do I need to remind you where we work?" The woman shook her head, and both of them looked at her with a heartwarming smile. "I hate to break this moment, but please go shower, Prentiss."

"Ugh, fine." She placed a kiss on her forehead and moved out. "Reid, if anything happens, call me. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Got it."

She walked out and the two remained silent for a couple of minutes. Their hands were still together and she squeezed it to get his attention. "How are you doing? I wasn't the only one that got caught in the blast."

"I'm good. Morgan and I barely had a scratch, they cleared us that same day."

"That's good. What about the rest of the team?"

"They are all good. They wanted to stay but they had another case, Hotch said your family was out of reach so Emily and I refused to leave. Morgan also stayed behind but they called him up today, without three agents they needed all the help they could get."

"You guys didn't need to stay." She assured him. His grip on her hand tightened, enough to let her know he wasn't letting go, but not enough to hurt her.

"You could've died. Because of me."

"That's not true and you know it."

"I should've said I was the agent."

"We both know the reason he didn't kill me was that I'm a woman. You wouldn't have been so lucky."

"Still."

"Reid, listen to me. This is not your fault, and this is not Emily's fault either. I knew what I was getting into, and I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"You are one stubborn woman."

"I know." She smiled at him, "now please go find me some Jell-O."

He laughed, but nodded, letting go of her hand. Just before he exited the room he turned and gave her the most endearing look she had ever seen, "thank you, for saving our lives. I'll never forget that."

"Good, that way I can ask for favors at any time." They both chuckled and he left the room hunting for the dessert.

The reality in her brain, however, was not as calm as she portrayed. For months she had obsessed over what she had done wrong, and she had spent sleepless nights thanks to her recurring nightmare, in which Ben didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, and as she watched Spencer and Emily's bodies lie in a pool of blood. This alone was enough to make her train and perfect her skills, to the point of complete exhaustion. She wasn't going to fail, not again.

That was until Lucas Heavensbee had brought her right back to her dark hole.

[pricklybulbasaur]

Universe: My Hero Academia

Day: 1 winning teddy for the other

Warnings: pg 13 as a precaution, some angst, possible cheeesiness, OC/Todoroki ship

Summer break was now upon the Heroes in Training at AU and everyone was looking forward to getting back home for the holidays except for one.

Aurora Cortez was currently spending her summer with the Todoroki family as the first day back at her family home was not a pleasant one. Todoroki was escorting Cortez home when he noticed she was getting quieter and quieter and was getting more nervous. At first, he thought it was just the after exam nerves as she was 2nd in the 1-A class, but that thought was blown to smithereens when after a few moments the mint-haired teen entered the door and Todoroki was walking away he had to run back to the home when he heard yelling and screams from inside the household. He broke open the door and saw her bastard father beating her up with anything that would do her harm. Todoroki eventually saw red and froze the man and the surrounding living room with ice.

Endeavor was there 5 minutes after the police arrived when he received a call that his son was involved in domestic violence at this location. He was shocked to see the entire inside of the house was encased in ice and a man was yelling incoherently at the dual-haired boy, which in turn gave him a look of deepest loathing. The same looke he had previously had with his own father a while ago. He was about to scold him for using his Quirk at a civilian when he realized Todoroki did it to protect one of his classmates from further harm. He should have known better, Todoroki is not the kind of person who would do that without real cause.

When Endeavor looked at the girl in the ambulance he noticed she had bruises and dicolorations on her arms and face and even more gruesome wounds all over her back and wings from apparent torture. That rubbed the No. 1 hero the wrong way, knowing a child was being abused to that extent, not to mention the flashbacks with his kids. The girl would have to be sent back to the dorms, however, she will be alone for the summer with Aizawa, the homeroom teacher.

That is how she got to live with Todoroki and the rest of the family, plus if Endeavor refused he would lose whatever bridge he was trying to mend with his children and he would not hear the end of it from his only daughter Fuyumi. The No. 1 hero of all of Japan, defeated by his children. If only the agency could see him now.

A week later Cortez still had casts on her arms and the rest from the elbow up were wrapped in fresh bandages. She had to get help from Fuyumi with her outfit today as for the first time since that incident she was going outside with her classmate Shoto. She had a tank top that buttoned in the back, blue jean shorts, and laceless shoes.

“There,” Fuyumi said and took a step back after fastening Cortez’s right arm in a sling. “You should be good to go to the Lavender Festival with Todoroki, I will also provide you a bag to hold your stuff for easier movement. “I also took a look at your wings, they are growing nicely and they are starting to show the pale purple coloration.

“Thank you, Fuyumi-chan.” Cortez said, bowing in gratitude after taking a look at her wings, they still look horrible but when they are damaged to a certain extent they will take time to regrow. “Also, thank you for letting me stay for the summer.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Fuyumi said, waving her hands in a good gesture. “Besides, you are also Shoto’s friend. It would not have sat right with him after knowing what happened.”

“Right.” Cortez agreed and turned towards the door when her nose twitched, detecting that someone was behind the door.

“Are you ready to go?” Shoto said when he opened the door. He saw his schoolmate nodding her head and walked out of the room with him.

“See you later, Fuyumi-chan.” Cortez said in a slight smile. Fuyumi noticed she was trying to hide her pain, but she could see a mask when there was one on.

“We might be home late, Nee-san.” Todoroki said casually, and both he and his schoolmate walked out of the house and took the taxi to the Festival. Fuyumi waved them both off and once they got far enough, she had a slight smirk on her face, knowing that if anybody would try to heal her, it would be her little brother. They might not see it right away but she could tell that Todoroki was becoming more open with her around.

They arrived at the Festival and the location was so full of lavender scent that when Cortez got out of the taxi she had inhaled deeply and the scent was immediately calming her nerves. She smiled even wider when behind the festival were miles of the same herb in different colors appearing in all its beauty. Breathing out she released a cold breath and looked at Todoroki who was looking at the area with a stoic expression. To the normal eye, everyone else would think he is not impressed but he had a slight spark in his eye that defied that.

“What should we do first?” Todoroki asked, and Cortez’s stomach growled in massive rage. He saw her face turn a bright red, squeaking and he smiled slightly at her shy reaction. “I guess food is the first thing.”

He grabbed the girl’s left hand gently and pulled her towards the food stalls to see what would be both delicious and easier for Cortez to hold. They got a variety of foods on a stick like corn dogs and grilled veggies, and Cortez was having a blast with a unique combination of pumpkin and lavender ice cream in a cup. The strange combination tasted great to Cortez, but Todoroki just shuddered at the abomination.

After that, they went to a section where they can play games to win toys or animals and in one stall they saw Midoriya and Bakugou racing each other in the water shoot for the grand prize.

“How much do you want to bet that Midoriya wins.” Todoroki said casually and Cortez just giggled and shook her head.

“I’m not betting anything, because it is always the case.” She replied and sure enough, Midoriya won the grand prize and Bakugou was yelling obscenities for being a sore loser. “See.” She then got distracted from a particular stall of ring toss and her eyes lit up at a Teddy Bear holding a Lavender Sachet.

“This thing caught your fancy?” A man in charge of the stall looked at her and smiled. “Smells like lavender too.”

“What do I need to do to get the bear?” Cortez asked while Todoroki was looking at her with a slight blush. It has been a while since he last saw her energetic smile.

“Ring toss, my dear.” The man said and pointed to rows and rows of close-knit bottles. One round, if you land 2 or more out of 5 rings you will get the bear. Hitting one with a gold ring around the neck is an instant win.”

She smiled widely then it faltered a bit when she realized something. She looked at her arms and then looked at the man. “May I see the ring? I may not be able to toss or hold them correctly.”

He looked at her arms and nodded, pulling out one of the rings and handed it to her. It was as she thought, due to her casts she would not be able to hold them properly. Her face dropped and the light in her eyes started to disappear.

Todoroki was not having it, the light that just returned to her, he refused to let it go out. So he grabbed the ring from her hand. “I would like to play, for the bear.” He said, causing Cortez to go red in the face.

“N-no you don’t have to..” She started but stopped when he gave her a look that he had never shown before. A look of...admiring determination?

“You’re right, I don’t have to.” He said, then handed the guy the money. “I want to. I want to see your smile, hear your laughter and take away your sorrow.”

Cortez blushed some more as she realized the truth. He liked her, and at the same time, she felt the same way with him. So, with silence and a warm smile, she watched Todoroki toss rings into the bottles, and 1 of the 4 was ringed and he was down to the last ring.

Todoroki was getting nervous. The requirement was 2 rings or a gold bottle, and he has only one ring. He was not going to give up, if he failed he would try again. So, with a deep breath and frost leaving from his mouth, he tossed the last ring and for a second it bounced off one bottle, and for a brief second of disbelief, it landed perfectly on another bottle.

He had done it, he was able to win the bear for his friend, or was it now girlfriend? That sounded better, he thought and he turned to see Cortez jumping for joy and her beautiful smile once again.

“You did it, Todoroki!” Cortez said and her green dragon-eyes shone brightly when he handed her the bear. “Gracias.”

Todoroki rubbed his right hand gently over her face causing a small chill up her spine. She looked up at him and for the first time, Cortez saw the purest, genuine smile adorn his face. “Never lose that smile.”

Cortez smiled even wider and gave Todoroki a peck on the cheek. “I’ll never let it leave again, Canelo.”

Words

Gracias:thank you

Canelo: cinnamon

[neonbluewaves]

spare neon lore? i love her

My brain shut down for a moment because I wasn’t sure what to say that I haven’t before, so I’m going to try to explain things I haven’t before, if I repeat myself forgive me :v

Careful what you wish for tho, here comes a longass rant, and I mean LONG

·Something I’ve barely talked about is Neon’s residences. She spent her childhood in Spain, in the Prieto Manor, big enough for her, her granparents and her uncles to live in, and still have much space to spare. The land around it is really large, with a field of almond trees that turn everything pink when in bloom, so part of their income comes from almond production. They also have different cultives, mainly to substain themselves, because her family isn’t exactly beloved, as in many think they’re better of dead. They also have vineyards with grapes specifically for wine production. Another way of income they have is with art. The manor has a room full of (mostly) spanish art pieces that they sell from time to time. Neon has sold pieces to the Thyssens, and donates some to certain collections when the museum opens later on.

Those are the things they’re known for, there’s rumors that they also deal with illegal stuff, but nobody can say for sure. Once they’ve graduated, Neon hires Jae to work under him. If you ask him, he says he’s the “financial administrator”, but he most definetly works as something else.

All their lands are surrounded by a thick forest charmed to work like a labyrinth. Only family members know the way, and there’s no chance of finding your way out to the other side by luck, the labyrinth will throw people away the way they came in. The forest is also full of stray dogs along with other average animals you’d find there. Neon has spent so much time in that forest she knows the whole place by memory, not just the way in and out, so it’s impossible for her to get lost.

On that note, Neon showed early signs of magic, many of which resulted in selfinjuries, like things exploding or catching fire when holding them or around her, as well as being capable of making dogs do her bidding unknowingly, thinking they just really liked her and could understand her.

Her second residence is in England, Yorkshire. Living in her old granparents house, in a small, mostly full of wizards town. A pretty big two story victorian house, Neon didn’t like it nearly as much as the manor, mainly because it has a small garden, unlike the big fields they have in Spain. Still she made it work for herself. Currently she lives with her uncles in their house, down the street, but she drops by from time to time keep the house clean.

· If it weren’t for her grandfather, they would all be spoiled brats. Coming from nothing, Gonzalo Prieto made sure he taught them humility amongst other things. Rocio was a pretty strict mother and it rubbed off on them, making them strict mothers in turn. Teaching to their kids was pretty serious, things like writing with good caligraphy, reading, maths, history and art, (no wonder Neon hates paying attention yet gets good grades, she’s used to studying). Carmen sent Nuria and Neon to get some work on summer after their third year as a way for them to learn what she and Luisa had learn working with their father. With him being gone, Carmen decided the best way for them to learn what they did was to just work, so Nuria ends up in a bakery, where she learns not to burn the whole kitchen, and she made the bakers cry a lot with whatever she ended up cooking until she got decent. Neon on the other hand went to a blacksmith and just like Nuria, at the beggining it was a complete disaster. After a month of just cleaning and watching she got to try making a knife blade and it ended horribly, and broken. The next year she managed to make an actual knife blade that could cut. By year 6 she’s managed to forge many swords, they’re not the finest work, but they’ll do for this one spell she’s been planing to invent for a while. She uses it for the first time against her uncle.

·There’s many projects unfinished saved away by family members, mainly because they died before they could get midway or start. Neon’s dad had blueprints of a house on the beach he wanted to make for the family to go on vacation. Neon also starts her own project when she’s 14/15, her own scholarship for orphan wizards. Romul was the one who encouraged her to go through with it, and joined in the idea, her scholarship centered in Hogwarts students, and his in Beauxbatons students.

·Here’s an essay I wrote some time ago about character soundtrack themes, behold:

When creating the themes for the Prieto members (Neon, Nuria, Laura, Argon and Narciso) they all need one intrument in common that ties them together, the organ. The organ is the one instrument all members learn to play from a young age and they have one in the Prieto manor. This one intrument plays along with the motif chosen for them. The Dies Irae. The Dies Irae is an hymn in latin about judgement death, and is used frequently in media to signify death, this makes reference to the fact that all the family has a reputation of commiting homicides and the fear we see in the main four that their uncle is going to kill them. All the titles make allusion to church and religion. Although they are not religious, the play comes from the fact it all seems to go beyond what they can choose, as if a bigger force decided their fates from the start, like a marciless god, and the darkness of the songs plays more like requiems than character themes.It also rounds up with their symbol, the church grimm.

Each of them get their own special instruments within their themes, so:

Neon's themes would be:

-Church: composed with organ, violin (another instrument she plays) and some percussion, it's sombre and dark and is usually played when Neon is alone, either figuring out mysteryes around her or in introspection scenes.

- Grimm's wail: composed with an organ, violins and double bass, and strong percussion like a bass drum, it's a reprise of church meant for action scenes like duels, specially the one's within storyline, like the fight with the ice knight or the dragon.

Nuria's themes would be:

-Shrine: composed with organ and some acoustic guitar. it's a simple theme made for scenes where Nuria (or other members) are seen contemplating choices, past memories, etc. It has a certain nostalgia to it

-Golden cross: composed of just organ and electric guitar, it's a more rebelious theme played for Nuria's duels and stronger moments of emotion, the change of guitar mimics her change from sweet and docile to determined and more "violent"

Laura's themes would be:

-Faith: composed with organ alone it's a soft sad melody that goes along her guilt of having lost Argon and her denial of involving herself with Neon and Nuria's life out of fear of screwing up and losing them too. It starts out quite depressing and builds up to a darker tone, but always quiet like her, as if the melody also tries to hold in rage.

-Sin: another reprise of the original (Faith), made with organ and heavy percussion, brass drums and kettleddrums, used specially in moments of high tension, the closer she is to finding her uncle, the longer we hear this piece.

Argon's themes would be:

-Finding Solace: We hear this song in flashbacks. Depending on who is remembering we hear one part or another. Made of organ and harp at the begining, it's the part that plays on Neon/Nuria/Laura's memories of him, sweet and naive, and organ and brass air instruments in later parts are used in memories by Duncan/Rakepick/anyone who dealt with him when he was manipulating other's/doing shady stuff, more sincere but dark.

-Broken Prayer: made with organ, violins and strong percussion in paralel's Neon's theme "Grimm's wail", also used on more intense scenes.

Narcisso has one theme:

-Lost religion: made up of organ alone and one drum set. Plays with both the Dies Irae and a couple of notes that remind of the theme song of The phantom of the opera, playing both with death and mystery as to what this character really wants and seeks.

The family has it's own theme, played only twice in full. Made up of organs, electric guitar, violins and percussion intruments plays like a violent, dark orchestra, with punctual moments of choral voices singing as if a church choir, giving it a more gloom feel. The two instances played in full are in the memory of Rocio losing all her siblings and father, and the start of the battle between Narciso and his nieces. Small parts may be heard in scenes where Neon and Narcisso clash, like the river incident or when he injures her leg before year 6.

There could be more themes, but these are the most important ones I thought about.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I hope this was enough for now

[riverllama]

Making A Story In Record Time!

Pretty much what the title suggests, I’m going to be showing you the step by step of how I make a story.

First I’m looking through my bookmarks because I know I have helpful things in there.

I found this blog: https://www.bryndonovan.com/category/writing-inspiration-and-resources/ and looked through it to find articles I think will be helpful.

Character motivation: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2020/08/17/50-character-goals-with-character-motivation/

Character worksheet: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2019/11/21/an-easy-character-development-worksheet-plus-one-secret-to-making-readers-love-your-character/

Names: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2019/09/30/how-to-name-a-book-character/

Flashbacks: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2019/01/10/how-to-write-flashbacks-so-they-arent-clunky/

No more perfectionism: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2018/10/29/how-to-overcome-perfectionism-and-finish-your-draft/

Fight scene prompts: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2018/10/11/50-fight-scene-writing-prompts-and-ideas/

Annoying characters: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2017/03/31/argh-25-creative-writing-prompts-to-help-you-annoy-your-characters/

Embarrassing characters: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2017/02/21/cringe-25-creative-writing-prompts-to-help-you-embarrass-your-characters/

How to show a character is in love: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2017/03/20/three-great-ways-to-show-that-your-character-is-in-love/

Next, I’m going to look through writing prompts. I never take a single one, that either feels that it gives me too many or too little restraints, so instead I use multiple and find a way to interlock them.

Young adult writing prompts: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2018/12/28/50-young-adult-plot-ideas-and-writing-prompts/

“A college student desperate for tuition money secretly works at two different full-time summer internships at once, two city blocks away from one another.”

This is absolutely hilarious and I see a lot I could do with this.

“Two boys on rival basketball teams develop romantic feelings for one another.”

There are two reasons I chose this one. The first is that it’s gay. I’m gay, and I love writing gay stuff. The second is that according to my best friend I’m very good at writing romances, even though I kinda hate the genre, so this could work.

“A teenager is pressured to shoot a buck on his first deer hunt with an older relative, but he can’t bring himself to do it.”

I think that this could be really emotional and a sign of character development, which I love.

“A teen attempts to make his whole fractious extended family get along and have a nice Christmas for once in their lives.”

This is absolutely amazing. I watched a movie that gave me these sort of vibes, it’s on Amazon Prime, it’s called Lez Bomb (highly recommend it, by the way).

“A teen copes with both a hopeless crush on his best friend’s older sister and a younger girl’s crush on him.”

I’m starting to see a way I can tie these all together, but I’ll ignore that for now.

“A girl discovers a secret passageway in one of the office buildings she cleans at night, but nobody else seems to be able to access it.”

It just wouldn’t be a me story without a little mystery, of course.

“Two boys discover treasure in a local cave.”

So, now that we’re at the end here, I think it’s a good idea to tell you my ending story. Or, well, story idea. This is nowhere near done yet. I haven’t even started. I don’t have names yet, so I’ll simply give everyone a letter of the alphabet until I’m done.

A and B have been best friends their whole lives. B has two siblings, an older brother (C) and a younger sister (D). D has a crush on A. A is an only child. A’s family is not poor, but can’t exactly afford to send him to the school he wants to go to, so he works two full time internships, two city blocks away from each other. He’s also full time in college and is on the basketball team. He can’t tell anyone he’s doing all this, because they will be mad at him for overworking himself. A and B go to the same college, but C goes to the rival one. C is on the basketball team. Along the course of the story A and C start to develop feelings for each other. At one of A’s internships he drops something and goes to pick it up under a desk. He sees a trapped door on the floor under his boss(E)’s desk. He goes to open it but E calls his name and he picks up the paper and leaves. The next day he tries to open it, but is unable. Once A and C start dating, they sneak away to go have a picnic in a cave so no one sees them and come across a trapped door similar to the one A found under E’s desk. This one can open. The not shooting a buck, and Christmas things are subplots.

Now, I know my basics, but I don’t actually know my plot. For example, where do the trapped doors lead? Do they lead to each other? If so, why? Is there something magical about the cave? Does E know about the trapped doors? So, as you can see, a lot of questions here are unanswered. To fix this I’m going to look at more writing prompts, but this time horror, or fantasy. Let’s start with horror.

Horror writing prompts: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2016/09/19/50-spooky-writing-prompts-for-horror-thriller-ghost-and-mystery-stories/

“Frightening events in a small town lead its citizens to dig up the grave of a deceased inhabitant.”

I make no promises on using this yet, but I think it could be interesting.

“The television switches to another station of its own accord and plays footage of something horrible that happened long before the technology existed to record it.”

I like this one quite a bit, and I think that it could tie well with the one above it. Maybe the town had a horrible incident that happened long ago. Everyone knows about it, but no one talks about it?

“Weekend adventurers explore a cave and can’t find their way out again. Then they encounter something terrible…”

I was actually thinking about this one all on my own, maybe the original entrance A and C took to the cave closed up, so they had to go through the trapped door and see where it leads?

“Authorities go through the cluttered apartment of a deceased man who lived alone with no known friends or relatives for decades and find something disturbing.”

Maybe the trapped doors lead to the same place and someone lived there? No, I don’t like that.

Wait, actually. Maybe E was at the horrible event that happened? He could have caused it, which would explain why he has a trapped door under his desk. He takes the victim’s remaining lifespan and adds it onto his? Like if they would only have died from natural causes when they were 76 and he killed them when they were 32, he’d get 44 more years of life? But to do that he had to eat them? All the victims are in a cave that both the trapped doors lead to. The one in the cave leads there because that is where the horrible thing happened and he needed an easy way to dispose of the bodies, and the one in his office leads there because that is where he lives? I don’t know, this is just brainstorming. Once I’m done with this I’m going to post a more accurate synopsis of what the story could be. For now I’m going to look at fantasy prompts, because those will (hopefully) be less messed up than this.

Fantasy prompts: https://www.bryndonovan.com/2017/03/06/50-fantasy-plot-ideas-and-writing-prompts/

“Miners discover stone spheres with strange markings.”

A and C can see those in the cave? Maybe they’re keys to the trapped doors?

“His magical powers don’t work when he’s drunk.”

I don’t know if I’m going to involve magic in this story yet, but if I am I’m 100% making this a thing.

“The bite of a particular animal may kill you, or it may give you new powers.”

Maybe this is how the person got them?

Okay, I think I’ve got something. This story has vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc, etc. Nobody knows about them. E is a werewolf. He made a trapped door in the cave to another one so he could hide from the full moon and not kill anyone. One night he was running late and was transforming as he went to his hiding spot. He tried to make it to the trapped door, but one of his friends was throwing a party there. He tried to push through the people, but there were a lot and it took a long time. When he finally got there he realized he dropped his key in the crowd. He tried to find it but couldn’t. His friend distracted him and soon E was a full blown werewolf. His killing extinct kicked in and he killed everyone at the party. He ripped the trapped door off its hinges and started piling the bodies into his hiding spot. When he became human again he put the door back on, but didn’t even look for the key. He didn’t want to remember what he did. There are three trapped doors, one in the cave, one under his desk, and one in his house.

I’m going to write a better description of the story I’m going with soon, but until then enjoy my brainstorming process!

[willow-salix]

Thought I'd share one of my isolation updates. I haven't had much time to join in with the #irrelief of @gumnut-logic because of these so I decided to go down the list and try to fit some of the requested prompts into this series of shorts. This is the one that I think Nutty requested, fish and chips on the beach. If anyone wants to give me some prompts or things they want the boys to do during lockdown, please feel free to send them in. The rest can be read on Ao3.

Day 47 of isolation on Tracy Island and I walked into the kitchen to find a bowl of fish staring at me.

"New pets?" I asked Gordon.

"If they are I really should have looked after them better," he answered, poking at the ice that they sat on. "We went fishing this morning."

"I never would have guessed."

"We thought we could have a fish dinner on the beach tonight, you know, barbie and beer, it'll be the best fish you've ever tasted."

I made a face. "I'm not really a big fish fan, I prefer them battered and wrapped in paper, not judging me for wanting another cup of coffee."

"You don't like fish?" You'd swear I'd just told him I hate puppies.

I shrugged.

"You have to like fish."

"What, is that a law now? The law of the island?"

"Yes."

I snorted. "Yeah, I'm gonna be breaking some laws then, bub." I pushed the bowl aside with a shudder of disgust and reached for the coffee pot.

"Come on, live a little, just try them."

"So when you ask me to try something I'm supposed to agree but I ask you to eat a Yorkshire pudding and you pitch a fit."

"Thats different."

"Why?"

"Because you've heard of a fish."

I tried to argue his logic but it was really hard, so as I always do in cases like this, I went on the defensive.

"Nope, batter and chips or nothing."

"Chips? Why would you eat chips with fish?"

"Because you do. With salt and vinegar on them."

"Won't they get soggy? And what flavour?"

"Flavour?" my brain whirled for a second before I caught his meaning. "Not crisps, chips, like fries, but fat ones."

He still looked baffled but pulled himself together. "OK, how about we do both? You make your battered stuff and your weird fries and I'll do my grilled fish and we'll see what's the best."

I thought about it for a moment or two, then held out my hand. "You're on."

“You have to help prepare them though,"he threw in just as he grabbed mine and shook.

“What? No!”

“The deal is struck,” the little sod grinned. Dammit.

Half an hour of convincing later and he had me standing beside him with a fish of my own and a sharp knife, neither of which I particularly wanted.

“So first we’re gonna scrape all the scales off, using the tip and flat edge of our knife,” he got to work, rubbing at the fish as if he were shaving it. Just like doing my legs, I could do that.

“I don’t want skin on my fish, I reminded him, not if it's gonna be battered.”

“We’ll get to that later, just get the scales off first.”

“Bossy,” I muttered, but did as I was told. We had some kitchen towel wrapped around the fish’s tail which made it a lot easier to hold but it was still icky and I knew the worst was still to come.

Gordon rinsed his under the tap and took a pair of kitchen scissors, I followed.

“Right, see this hole here?” he pointed with the tip of the scissors and I nodded. “That’s its butt. Stick your scissors in there-”

“I’m out!” I declared, dropping the fish in the sink. “Nope, I’d rather lose, but you know full well that no one else would blame me so you wouldn't get any glory from it anyway.”

I left the kitchen and went to hide with someone that would be nicer to me. I found Virgil first and decided he’d do. I flumped down next to him at the piano.

“You smell,” he greeted me.

“Thanks, love you too.”

“No, not you personally, you smell like fish.”

“Gordon tried to get me to poke its bum hole so I left.”

Virgil blinked, although he managed not to mess up, his fingers still dancing effortlessly over the keys, “I don’t know what to do with that information.”

“Neither did I, so I noped out of the situation and ran.”

“Good choice. He’ll end up doing yours for you anyway, he always does. He can’t stand to see fish prepared wrong so if you don't want to do it, just do it badly and then he’ll take over.”

“Pro tip!” I nodded. “Thanks for that.”

“Welcome.”

I reached out a finger to plonk a key, because it was just too tempting.

“Go wash your hands, you aren’t stinking up my piano.”

I lifted my hands up innocently. “Think he’ll be done yet?”

“Probably, he’s pretty quick at it, but I’d give it anoth-”

“Stop hiding, I’ve finished the fish,” Gordon called up the stairs to the lounge.

“See?”

“Woop!” I jumped back up, using his shoulder as leverage , much to his disgust. “We’re having a competition.”

“Of course you are, but if it involves food I’ll happily judge.”

I did that pointy finger, winky eye, clicky tongue thing in answer as I trotted back down the stairs.

True to his word he had the fish all prepared, he’d even fileted and skinned mine. He might be a pain in the butt most days but he was a good boy where it counted.

“I need beer,” I announced.

“Is the thought of touching fish really that bad? It’s only 2pm.”

“For the batter,” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Why does everyone think I want to drink all day every day? I’m only drinking on a saturday night for the quiz.”

“Because it's fun to watch you get annoyed when we say it,” he shrugged. See? He’s a sod.

I stole one of his beers for that comment, and after checking the recipe, assembled my ingredients and began to mix flour, beer, sparkling water, spices and baking powder.

“So you're basically making a cake for your fish?” Virgil asked, wandering through to get a drink.

“No, I’m battering it, you cretin. Fish and chips, the english food of summer and beach trips. Squidward wanted fish on the beach, that's what you're getting.”

“She means fries,” Gordon added just in case Virgil didnt understand me either. “I’m doing grilled fish and vegetable kebabs.”

“Wanna help me peel potatoes?” I asked Virgil, who was the quickest peeler I knew.

“Sure.” Bless his chonky heart, he’s always ready to help, especially if food is involved.

Virgil peeled and I chopped, making a mound of fat chips which I threw into a pot of water to par-boil ready for frying later.

Gordon had barely done anything to his fish, just rubbed some seasoning and oil into the skins and laid some lemon slices on top. Apparently simple was key, I told him that was a good thing if he was in charge. He threw a slice of lemon at me.

We stored all the prepared food in the second fridge and wandered off to wait for evening.

At around seven that night we had everyone assembled outside, some around the barbecue and some just lounging around waiting to be fed.

They had one of those fancy pants grills that have two gas rings on one side, which was needed for me to heat up two massive pans of oil. I had a flashback to the donut incident and was very grateful that Grandma wasn't involved this time and that she hadn’t fed me cooking sherry.

I had a few near misses with splattering oil and it took me a while to get the dip and slip action just right ( that was what I was calling the dipping in batter to coat the fish and then letting it slip and slide into the oil) but we got there in the end.

The chips were frying nicely and we’d managed to get vinegar from a jar of pickled onions, which was perfect for me as I prefer onion vinegar on my chips anyway.

Gordon had these weird fish cages, where he trapped the fish inside and just turned the whole thing to cook the other side instead of flipping.

It was supposed to be a competition but since it was just the two of us I obviously hadn’t triggered his competitive Tracy gene which is only activated in the presence of his siblings. It was actually quite nice to chill with him for a bit, we got into a nice rhythm and managed not to get in each others way too much.

When he was busy with his fish and his veggie kababs were getting a little too charred I turned them all for him, he in turn rescued a batch of chips as I had my hands covered in batter. See, we could be civilised.

We dished out food like it was a canteen, everyone lining up with plates. We didn't want people to have to choose whose food they wanted to try so we gave them some of everything and then all trooped down to the beach where Scott and Virgil had already lit the firepit.

Gordon's fish was ok, but I didn't like the fact that it still looked like a fish, its eyes were staring at me and I was plucking around its bones, which just wasn't for me, but the veggie kebabs were nice so I gave Scott the fish to finish.

I looked over to see Alan holding the entire piece of battered fillet in his hand and biting into it like it was a slice of pizza...I honestly don't know how his brain works sometimes.

“Back home we have tiny wooden forks for the fish and chips,” I told him, which blew his mind. I had to get my phone out and show him pictures of them.

“So, who’s fish was the best?” Gordon asked once everyone was done eating, although Alan was still doing his impression of the seagulls from Nemo and snaffling left overs with little yelps of “Mine” every time someone abandoned a plate. I was currently feeding him chips as he sat patiently with his mouth open.

“I like them both,” Jeff hedged. “But the beer batter was interesting.”

“Batter is a little too crispy for my tastes,” John mused, nibbling on a piece of batter he’d picked off my plate.

“I like the fat fries,” Alan mumbled around a mouthful of said chips.

“I liked the lemony taste of the fish,” Virgil added.

“So who won?” I asked.

Everyone shrugged.

We decided in the end that we didn't care who won, it had just been fun to cook and hang out on the beach and chill. Sometimes that's all you need in life, sorry we weren't more exciting but this is just a normal family that is coping with things the way that everyone else is.

They want to be out there helping people and doing things like normal, but they can't and it’s definitely starting to impact on them a lot, so if chilled days and enforced rest is all we can do, then were going to make the most of it.

[pocketseizure]

Disneybound

Case #0180602. Statement of Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange experience at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on June 2, 2018.

Jonathan takes the statement of someone whose memories may not accurately reflect the events of his childhood. He then has a short conversation with Martin and learns something (perhaps not so) surprising about Elias.

The events of this story take place after Episode 103, "Cruelty Free" (the one in which Jon reads the statement of a farmer in New Zealand with a monster pig).

( This story is also on AO3. )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jon cast a level gaze at the American sitting on the other side of the table. He was fit and clean-shaven, and he appeared to be in his early thirties. He wore a wide grin and a bright red shirt depicting Minnie Mouse posing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Jon sighed and pressed the record button of his tape recorder.

“Statement of Theodore Nakamura – ”

“Call me Ted, please. Or Teddy, if you like. All my friends do.”

“Ted Nakamura, regarding a strange phenomenon he experienced at the Haunted Mansion attraction in Disney World – ”

“Sorry, but it’s ‘Disneyland.’ Disney World is the one in Florida.”

“In Disneyland, California. Statement recorded directly from subject on May 25, 2018.”

“This is exciting! I love the detail you’ve devoted to authenticity. The tape recorder is a nice touch.”

Jon grimaced. “Statement begins.”

A hint of uncertainty crept into Ted’s smile. “I’ve never done this before. Is there a protocol? Maybe some sort of standard introduction I should start with?”

“Just tell me about the incident you came to report. You can start whenever you’re ready.”

“All right, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Ted clapped his hands on his knees and took a deep breath. Jon watched as his eyes made a brief circuit around the densely packed shelves arranged in disorderly rows at the rear of the room before finally coming to rest on one of the objects jammed between the accordion folders and cardboard boxes. He’d witnessed this process often enough that he could pinpoint the object of the man’s attention – a cloudy snow globe with a tarnished metal base. It wasn’t connected to any of the cases on file in the archives, merely something Gertrude had brought back from one of her travels on a whim.

“I guess you could say that I’m not the sort of person who would be the star of a Disney movie,” Ted began. “I’m not an orphan, and I had a happy childhood. My mother was an architect who moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles during the construction boom of the 1980s, and my father went to business school at UCLA and never left. His family is from Seattle, and they made some money in real estate in the 1990s. We’re comfortably middle class, but I went to one of the big public schools in Orange County.”

He paused, seeming to expect some sort of reaction. When it became clear that no such reaction was forthcoming, he continued.

“Even in LA, where everyone tries to stand out, high school was all about belonging to a group. I didn’t have any interest in the grandstanding of my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and I didn’t have the looks or the talent for the student theater club, which is where a lot of kids like me spent a year or two on their way out of the closet. Mostly I kept my grades up and my head down as my circle of friends from middle school gradually went their separate ways.

“My mom worked from home, and she made sure our house had the first high-speed internet connection in my neighborhood. I don’t mind admitting that I spent a lot of time online. I posted an embarrassing number of bad stories about cartoon characters on LiveJournal, and I eventually ended up being invited to join a popular Disney fan community moderated by a friend of a friend. All the people I spoke with on the comm were strangers, at least at first, but we gradually got to know one another as we responded to each other’s posts and comments.

“Between one thing and another, we somehow managed to figure out that most of us were the same age. Oddly enough, a lot of us lived in SoCal, so we decided to meet up over the summer at Disneyland. Everyone showed up, and we had a great time. We met again the next summer, and then again after my senior year.

“Nothing bad happened, but I stopped updating my LiveJournal after that. I went to college in New York, got a job in the city, and fell out of touch with most of my online friends.

“I moved back to LA four years ago, not that I do anything glamorous. I manage the back end of a tech company’s website and intranet, mostly database stuff, but I still have an IG account. I started it just for fun, but I joined early and picked up more than a thousand followers in less than a year. Someone suggested that it would be cool for me to visit to Disneyland and post photos, so I thought, why not? Like, I love Disneyland!”

Jon cleared his throat. “And what is this ‘strange incident’ you came to report?”

“Hold your horses, I’m getting to it. It’s important that you know my background, right? What I’m trying to say is that I’d only been to Disneyland three times before. It wasn’t a major part of my life. But it was a good part of my life – that’s important.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgment. “Very well, then. Duly noted.”

“Disneyland was considered to be a little seedy when I was in high school, but it’s gotten fancy in the past ten years or so. It used to be that you could just walk in, but these days you practically have to make an itinerary. So I did some research, got a group of people together, and we went and saw the sights. Everyone wore an outfit to match the style of a character, and we took a lot of pictures. The photos were so popular that I hit 5k followers in less than 24 hours, can you believe it? Everyone and their sister is into DisneyBounding these days, but picking up that sort of following from on-location fashion photos was still a thing you could do in 2015.

“Like I said, I had a happy childhood, but no one ever paid me that sort of attention. It was such a dopamine hit, you have no idea. Or maybe you do?”

Jon grit his teeth. “Please continue with the statement.”

Ted laughed. “Pushy, aren’t you? But that’s all right. It’s weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Has anyone ever said that to you before?”

“You’re not the first.”

“Maybe it’s the librarian thing you’ve got going on – or archivist thing, sorry. Puts me right at ease. And I appreciate that. If there’s an adult who willingly goes to Disneyland for fun, especially someone like me, people tend to think that’s creepy. The therapist I was seeing at the time called it ‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ of all things. I never went to another appointment with her again, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that I kept going back to Disneyland, usually with friends but sometimes with my boyfriend, who I met on Insta. We bonded while sharing theories about the Haunted Mansion, which is… Well, it used to be my favorite ride in the park. It still is, I guess, but I can’t go on it anymore.

“It took me long enough to get here, but this is the part of my story that should interest you. The reason I like the Haunted Mansion is because it reminds me of my mother, who passed away from a heart attack while I was living in New York. It was very sudden, completely out of the blue, and I never got to say good-bye. I never cared about the Haunted Mansion when I was in high school – we all thought it was cringe for some silly teenage reason that probably involved how awkward it would be if we were in the dark with each other. It wasn’t until I visited the park again as an adult that I finally went on the ride. When I did, I had this sudden flashback to a childhood memory.

“I must have gone to Disneyland with my parents when I was young, because standing in the dark and listening to the music made me recall being on the ride with my mother. This was during the lead-up, before you get in the Doom Buggies and begin the ride proper. I remember being absolutely terrified by what I thought was an endless maze. I felt like that line, after it entered the building, lasted forever. Kids can be like that sometimes, but my memory of this is crystal clear – the corridor genuinely didn’t end. I felt like there were people all around us, there had to be, but somehow it was just me and my mother, alone in the darkness.

“And then I remember that this terrible thing appeared out of nowhere. I’m not sure how to describe it. It definitely wasn’t a person in a costume, but it was too realistic to be the projection of a cartoon, and it was talking to us in voice that sounded like laughter and crying at the same time. Like it was hurt, but it found its pain amusing. Meanwhile, the walls kept stretching, and as they got taller I started to see awful things in the gaps between the ceiling and the floor.

“My mother held my hand the whole time. She kept whispering to me: ‘It’s going to be okay. You are brave, and you are strong. Nothing in here can hurt you.’ Just that, over and over, until the ride was over.

“When we finally got out, I ran straight to my dad, who knelt down on the pavement on the other side of the gate and hugged me. He and my mother both patted my back as I cried. I was so relieved to be outside again that my tears wouldn’t stop.

“My dad seemed confused by how afraid I was. This didn’t occur to me until I started thinking about it much later, but isn’t it strange that he didn’t understand why a young child would be frightened by a scary ride?

“I moved back to LA almost immediately after my mom’s funeral, but Dad became a little distant with me. We were both grieving, and it must have seemed callous to him that I was posting shots of myself at Disneyland on social media right after Mom died. Really I just needed a break from the move, from my job, from mourning, from everything – and I guess a part of me felt like my mother would never die as long as I kept returning to that memory of her holding my hand in the Haunted Mansion.

“My dad eventually moved on and married a younger woman. She would probably be my evil stepmother if my life were a Disney movie, but she’s actually a princess, and I adore her. I spend more time with her than I do with my dad these days, but I’m trying to do better. I thought I could reconnect with him if I took him along with me on a visit to the park, but he turned down my invitation. He told me he enjoyed my photos, but that he had never been to Disneyland and had no interest in going. Too many screaming children, he said.

“That was a surprise to me, so I told him about my memory of the Haunted Mansion. While I was talking, his face went completely pale. I don’t mean that as a figure of speech – it was like all the blood had been drained from his skin.

“He insisted that he had never been to Disneyland with me and my mother, but then he told me something strange. When I was about five years old, we went to visit his family in Seattle. My grandfather had just taken on management of a property in Capitol Hill, one of the old Gothic Revival mansions that used to be common there before the neighborhood gentrified. It was an old house, almost as old as the city itself, but my grandfather was having trouble finding potential buyers. The property had been designed by the student of a famous British architect by the name of Robert Smirke, and he wanted my mother to come take a look. Do a walkthrough, point out any potential areas of interest and value, that sort of thing.

“According to my father, my mother had a bad experience in that house. She refused to talk about it with him or anyone else, and she never went back to Seattle. She took me along with her on her tour of the property, and I was apparently just as upset as she was when we came out, even though my dad says we spent less than ten minutes inside. If I thought this place was the Haunted Mansion, and if the ride at Disneyland evoked such a strong memory, it makes me wonder – what did we see in that house?

“I checked with my grandfather, and he said the property never did find a buyer. The only person who seemed seriously interested was a British woman by the name of Gertrude Robinson. Shortly after she made inquiries, the place burned down. Imagine my surprise when I ran a search and learned that this Gertrude Robinson was employed by an institute dedicated to paranormal research.

“So,” Ted concluded, meeting Jon’s eyes, “I gave you my statement. I hope it will be useful to you. I was wondering what you could tell me in return.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. As you can see, we’re still in the process of organizing our records. We’ll investigate to the best of our abilities and contact you if we learn anything.”

“I would love that, thank you. Well, you have my information so…”

“We’ll be in touch. I believe I see my assistant Melanie hovering around. She used to have a large following on social media herself. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you outside.”

“So you’re from LA,” Jon heard Melanie say as she held the door open. Ted directed his dazzling smile at her, which she returned before allowing the door to slam shut behind them.

“Statement ends,” Jon muttered as listened to their conversation growing fainter. He ended the recording and leaned back in his chair.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share, Martin?”

“Oh, I, um,” Martin stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt the, you know. The statement.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he emerged from between the shelves.

“It’s fine, Martin. It was a relief. To know that you were listening.”

“I’m sorry, I… What? It was?”

“I’ve never been good with people like that.”

“People like… Wait, excuse me?”

“People who are so…” Jon made a vague gesture to illustrate his point. “Sunny. Bright. Content. When someone comes here to make a statement, they’re usually upset.”

“Ah, right. I can see what you mean. But he looks like he just got back from a trip to the happiest place on earth.”

“The happiest place on earth?”

“You know, Disneyland Paris.”

“Disneyland Paris? They finished construction?”

“A few decades ago, actually.”

Jon sympathized with Ted Nakamura’s father. Between the crowds and the relentless sunshine, he couldn’t imagine a more ghastly location, and by this point he considered himself something of an expert on cursed geography.

“I don’t suppose we’ll have to go there ourselves to investigate,” he said, making an attempt to smile. He failed. His muscles were still tense from the process of taking a statement, and his face felt frozen.

“Really? You… want to go to Disneyland Paris? I suppose I could come too, I mean, if it’s not…”

Jon was alarmed by how red Martin’s face was becoming. Did Martin want to go to a theme park? Jon didn’t know much about Disneyland – or Paris, for that matter – but his childhood had been unusual, to say the least. He’d never asked, but Martin’s family couldn’t have been much if he had nowhere to sleep but down here in the archives. Perhaps he could use a vacation. Perhaps they both could.

Jon turned to face his assistant. “Martin, I…”

“Did someone say Disneyland Paris?”

Jon frowned. “Does this conversation interest you, Elias?”

“I heard you were planning a trip. You really must go sometime. It’s fantastic, quite the experience. I went myself, back in 1996.”

Elias made a quick series of taps on the screen of his phone before holding it out in front of him. Jon and Martin leaned forward to get a better look.

In the photo, Elias was posing next to someone wearing a Mickey Mouse costume. He wore an aloha shirt over denim shorts, and he was grinning from ear to ear. The camera had caught him in the act of pulling a tall man with a square jaw and a severe expression into the frame. The image quality was poor, but the man seemed far too pale for the summer sunshine.

Jon’s frown deepened. “And that is…?”

“Oh, this is Peter. You’ll meet him soon enough, I’m sure.”

“Do you, um. Do you go to Disneyland often, then?” Martin asked.

“Just the once. Peter lost a bet, you see.”

“Right.” Jon couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a bad feeling about this.

“I wouldn’t mind going back. We could all go together, make an office party of it. It would be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you, Archivist?”

Martin’s eyes darted between Elias and Jon. “I don’t think it’s safe to…”

“Come now,” Elias interrupted. “Would you have any reason not to?”

“China.”

“Excuse me?”

“China. I need to follow up on a statement, something Gertrude was looking into before she traveled to New Zealand.”

“Excellent. I’m glad that’s settled. I’ll leave you to your preparations, then.”

“Damn it.” Jon clenched his fists on the table as Elias left. A trap had been set, and he’d walked right into it.

“Don’t feel bad,” Martin said, oddly perceptive. After everything they’d been through, Jon was coming to appreciate that about him. “At least we know that Elias is still human. He likes Disneyland, after all.”

Jon wasn’t convinced that a fondness for theme parks qualified someone as being ‘human,’ but what would he know? He had to admit that Elias was right about one thing – it would do him good to get out of the archives.

“Are you really going to China, then?”

“I suppose I am.” Jon removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

“I’ve always wanted to go someplace like that, somewhere far away,” Martin said, his eyes darting to the tape recorder on the table. “I’d like to hear about it. If you don’t… If you don’t mind, of course. Maybe I could, I mean, we could go out for a coffee together. After you get back.”

“All right,” Jon replied, replacing his glasses. That would be rather nice, actually. “After I get back.”

[disappointingyet]

Da 5 Bloods

Director Spike Lee Stars Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Norm Lewis, Chadwick Boseman, Jonathan Majors USA 2020 Language English, Vietnamese, French (with English subtitles) 2hrs 34mins Colour (mostly)

Spike Lee goes up river

It’s funny to think now how adrift Spike Lee seemed a few years ago. Let’s go back only as far as 2016, when Chi-raq, after a token release in the US, took a whole year to make it to British cinemas. But then he hadn’t been big news since his triumphant 2006, when he made both a splendid mainstream thriller (Inside Man) and an epic TV documentary (When The Levees Broke). After that, though, little seemed to work, so he got equally critically trashed for a small-scale neighbourhood pic (Red Hook Summer) and unwanted English-language remake of the classic Korean revenge thriller Oldboy.

But Chi-raq turned out to the start of a revival. He updated She’s Gotta Have It as a TV show, and while it has had the odd dud moments, mostly it proved that Lee was aware of the changing times. Then came BlacKKKlansman, a good movie with a great story behind it, and Spike was truly back. And now here’s Da 5 Bloods, surfing in on great reviews and I’m feeling late to the party because I only watched it on the Sunday after its Friday release, and all my friends had already seen it and been asking me what I thought…

…and I have lots of thoughts, appropriately, because this is a long movie that is trying to do a big bunch of things at once, and one that nods to so many things, and – not least – is a movie coming out in June 2020 that features the Black Lives Matter movement. As with Chi-raq, Lee seems determined that no one could accuse him of being under-ambitious.

And yet, after the expected context-setting barrage of documentary footage, we get what could seem the start for a low-key movie: four former GIs return to Vietnam for the first time since the war. This could be an African-American (and hopefully far superior) version of Last Flag Flying, a tale of old friends gathering a final time to share jokes and reluctantly confront their psychic wounds. I think it would be fair to describe that as just one of the movies Lee is making here.  

The Bloods are Paul (Delroy Lindo), Otis (Clarke Peters), Melvin (Isiah Whitlock Jr) and Eddie (Norm Lewis). Temptations fans among you will be asking: where’s David? That’s Paul’s son, played by Jonathan Majors (who was in last year’s The Last Black Man In San Francisco), who invites himself along for the ride. The fifth Blood, though, is Stormin’ Norman (Chadwick Boseman), the one who never came back, and whose remains they are hoping to retrieve. 

The film hops between the present day, as the guys explore neon-drenched Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon back in the day) and then head up river,  and the war, as Norman leads them on a high-risk mission. The river trip is partly played as gentle spoof on Apocalypse Now, with the gun boat replaced by a brightly painted pleasure boat. But any sense of cheery tourism is undercut by Paul’s unchecked PTSD and his tendency to treat Vietnamese people as if the war was still raging (which it is, in his head).

Which makes this a good moment to say that this is one of the least balanced ensemble movies ever. This is Paul’s show all the way: of the other Bloods, Otis gets a chunk of the story, but not much character development, and Melvin and Eddie are strictly in supporting roles. Paul has all the rage, and all the contradictions: although his obsession with Norman, who was a political radical, remains as vivid after half a century, Paul is now a Trump voter. The journey we are on is his as he is forced to deal with all the pain that’s never really left him. 

It’s fortunate, then, that Delroy Lindo is up to the task, and increasingly magnetic as the film reaches crisis point deep in country. I had been wondering if the movie was going to pick up momentum as the film ambled past the hour mark, but it does, both in terms of the action but more importantly emotional kick.

Norman is also not a rounded character, but I think that’s deliberate, because what we are seeing is not a real person, but the memory of a fallen leader. The Norman his friends and comrades remember is a super-solidier, a martyr and a political visionary: he sits out in the wild in a palm version of Huey Newton’s chair.* In the battle scenes, the other four are their 2020 versions: I wasn’t entirely sure whether this was deliberate or ineffective de-ageing, but at the end of film they are shown as they would have been back in 1968.

Lee, who has always been a visually minded director, gives us a clear prompt as to which decade we’re in. The flashbacks are in the squarish 1:33:1 aspect ratio (presumably to look like a war most Americans watched on TV) and shot on 16mm film with saturated colours, while the modern day stuff in Ho Chi Minh City is in ultra-widescreen and in crisp digital, and then the jungle scenes are less letterboxy. (There’s also some Super 8). (And, as I mentioned, there’s loads of B&W archive at the start of the film, and some more along the way). 

As we get to see him do both here, I’ll say this reinforces my feeling that Lee is better with dancing scenes than gunfights. (I also suspect the war scenes were done on a fairly low budget. It made me think of Werner Herzog’s Rescue Dawn). And he’s always great with solo rants, and good with guys hanging out. The individual Bloods may be underdrawn, but they work as a collective, give the sense that they have shared a lot of intense times together.

There’s a lot of talk, a lot of debate, a lot of information. For all those people who seem suddenly hungry to educate themselves via the medium of cinema, this is a three-course meal, taking in not just race relations in the US but American imperialism, French colonialism, US-French relations, and Vietnam’s capitalist boom time under Communist Party control.

 And, of course, the fact that it was the Vietnamese who suffered the most during the war. However, I feel while that’s the message the movie’s dialogue gives us, it’s undercut by the way that the film is shot and the story unfolds, which does (as academics say) ‘Other’ the Vietnamese. Maybe that’s because Paul is so much the centre of the movie, and he never feels safe out here, and as it happens…

Three Vietnamese characters who get more than a line or two: Vinh (Johnny Nguyen), the old men’s guide, and Tiên Luu (Lê Y Lan), a former sex worker who Otis knew back in the day and is now prosperous, and wartime North Vietnamese propaganda broadcaster Hanoi Hannah (Van Veronica Ngo). And there are a handful of other Westerners: Jean Reno (as often) barely even trying as a dodgy Frenchman and three privileged NGO types (Mélanie Thierry plays the one who actually gets to say stuff): they exist for the dual purposes of plot and debate points, rather than being anything approximating human beings.

But this is not their story, it’s Paul’s, and on those terms this is a grand, satifsying piece of cinema, filled with incident and discussion and music, one both bursting with things to say and inventively shot, and built around a towering central performance from Delroy Lindo. You won’t feel short-changed. 

*’They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old…’ etc

(PS: there’s a whole bunch of films this reminded me of, but mentioning many of them would amount to spoilers, so I’m holding off. Feel free to ask).

[night-filled-mountain]

Putting in a cut before I unload about a bunch of stuff going on in my life right now. See tags for content warnings. I, uh...did my best to hit them all.

Also, I don’t know what it is about the past few weeks, but a lot of people on my dash seem to be having a rough time. I just want to send out waves of strength and compassion to all of you. I really hope I can find the time and energy to send some messages at some point, and I’m sorry I’ve been super absent lately. Hopefully this laundry list of events will help explain why.

So, in the past three weeks, the following things have occurred at my workplace:

A teen came in with a stab wound. He asked me for a Band-Aid. He ended up at the hospital and is doing fine now. The men’s room, lobby, and front door looked like a murder scene. My boss and I stayed 45 minutes overtime so someone from facilities could clean up the blood.

A teen took one of the desktop computers out of the teen room, ran outside, smashed it on the ground, ran back in, grabbed another one, and ran off with that one too, all right in front of my colleagues and me.

A large group of teens started fighting in the library. Police were called, and the whole place was filled with the sounds of cops and teens screaming at each other. We went on semi-lockdown. My kids were scared to leave because they thought the cops would shoot them.

I asked two teens to sign in (which is mandatory), and they gave me a series of fake names. When I called them out on it, they threw several paper balls at me, pulled my chair out from under me, deliberately poured a drink out on the carpet, cursed me out repeatedly, and refused to leave until cops escorted them out, at which point they were still yelling “This bitch needs to mind her own business” over their shoulders.

Despite receiving legal trespass letters, they came back again. Twice. Both occasions were variations on the former scene. I began to have severe anxiety symptoms and flashbacks to some 20-year-old shit I thought I was very much over by now, and for the first time, started very, very seriously considering a change of workplace.

Cops started just...hanging out in the teen room. Constantly. They interrupted a weekly poetry program to intimidate the kids and offend the (awesome) teacher. One teen went off on them and got trespassed for two weeks.

I took one (1) weekend off so Kit, Dragon, and I could go visit Unicorn in New Jersey, kick back, watch a bunch of movies, discuss our D&D campaign, and seriously launch our apartment hunt, because We Are All Moving In Together At The End Of The Summer.

During this, my vacation weekend, the librarian who was covering for me had a horrible, ugly, semi-physical confrontation with a teen who’s been coming to the library since he was six, who I have actively watched turn from Mischievous Computer Nerd to Obviously Traumatized Nightmare Child while flailing with the fruitless desire to Do Something To Help Him. Said teen got an indefinite trespass from all library locations.

My predecessor/mentor/the coolest teen librarian on earth texted me frantically trying to find out what happened, because she saw the trespass letter and was super close with this teen back in the day. I could not tell her what happened, since I was not there.

The librarian involved in the aforementioned incident--who is an incredibly sensitive and delicate soul--seems to have gone AWOL. He was out yesterday, he was out today, he’s out tomorrow. My boss asked me to come in on this, my day off, because we are so short-staffed. I said no to overtime for the second time in my life. (The other was last week.)

I lost three of my work keys. Just...lost them. I have no idea where the hell they went. I’ve been searching home and work frantically for days, and have yet to tell my boss or any but one coworker. The anxiety of this alone has been plaguing me pretty much 24/7.

It’s that time of month, because of course it fucking is, and my endo symptoms have kicked into really high gear, because...of course they have. It’s been almost as bad as it was before I got an IUD. I’ve been getting hit with bouts of crippling abdominal/back/leg pain, waking up around 3 or 4 in the morning, kept awake for hours by this pain, falling asleep again only to have weird, restless dreams and, on one occasion, a horrific nightmare that came for all my real-life anxieties and left me ruined the next morning. My serotonin is practically down to zero. Depression and irritability are coming for me chemically on a daily basis, even apart from everything else that’s going on.

I changed my Thursday hours this week to 12-8 (they’re usually 10-6) so I could supervise a program that I was very proud of having booked. It was super popular with the teens over the summer, and I’ve been trying to bring it back for ages. I’ve been advertising it by every method available, and the kids are all excited for it. ...They just canceled on me last-minute.

My dad--the family member I am closest to by far, whom I love to distraction--called me tonight to say he’s in the hospital. He went to the ER for severe pain, jaundice, nausea, and malaise. Fortunately, it’s just gallstones...probably. But he’s having surgery tomorrow. And I’m going to be thinking about that all day long, while I work in this absolute nightmare of a teen room until 8:00 at night, with no keys, no awesome program, no physical or emotional resources left to even remotely handle any of it.

...After this list, it’s going to sound insane to add that there have also been good things that happened this month, this week, even today. There have been! Truly! I have the world’s most enviable support network of spouse and family and friends-who-are-family. I have done fun things and productive things. But dear gods, it’s been one thing after another after another after another, and tomorrow is starting to feel like some kind of crescendo for all this built-up dread. I’ve rarely made those posts that are like “Please distract me with fun asks” or “Send me cute pictures” or whatever, but, like. If you read all the way to the end of this list of pure unadulterated stress and want to offer any form of encouragement at all, I certainly won’t say no.

[puppycat714]

The Secret in the Garden Prologue James Potter x Hufflepuff reader

Requested: no

masterlist Part 1 

Word count: about 1.8k

Warnings: death, and potentially swearing?

A/n~ Hello so this is my first fic ever. I was doing random prompts and somehow this one just turned to a James Potter fic? Anyways so this chapter is just an introductory. I really wanted to do some back ground stuff before throwing the reader through whatever is to come. You don't have to read this but I highly suggest you do. Just to have a better understanding of what's going on. I planned on having it out within the beginning of the month but life happened and college. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Gif is not mine nor are the characters that belong to jkr.

Chapter 1: change sucks

    Life changes everyday, whether you notice it or not. We usually only see the big ones. The ones that changes our lives.

    At the age of ten you thought you’ve been through it all. Until the first major change in your life happened. Which lead you to more changes in the years to come. When you were ten, you’re mom died of cancer. When she was first diagnosed, it was a stage 4 brain tumor. There was nothing any of the doctors could do. She died six months after the diagnosis.

Your dad was never the same afterwards. I mean he lost his wife, but you lost your mother. The was an ice cold slap to the face. After her death, he had to take another job. He found he had a knack for art, so he would paint houses, rooms, backyard fences, anything helped. Your mom was an ER doctor, and he worked construction. So money wasn’t a huge worry. She had left some money for you guys thanks to insurance. Your dad wanted to leave as much of it as possible to help you with college.

Around the age of eleven, you began to spend a month of your summer in England. After your grandmother on your moms side heard about the incident, she wanted me over more. I’d only see her twice a year before, and we had a close bond. When I stayed for the first time for that long, the first week was awkward. By the end you didn’t want to leave.

At the age of fourteen your grandma died. When you heard the news, it hit you as hard as when your mom died. According to the doctors, it was a heart attack. You remember the day clear as day.

*** FLASHBACK***

“Dad, I’m home!” you called out. There was no answer, which is unusual. You were pretty sure it was his day off. You set your bag down, and went to the kitchen. You saw your dad hunched over the table. Your first thought was that he was working on something. most of the time he's working in his book, which he swears he’ll finish. You spoke again, “dad?” He jumped up not realizing you were there. The moment you saw him, you knew something wasn’t right. His usually bright (y/d/e/c) was dull, and glazed over. Not to mention his puffy, red eyes. His (y/d/h/c) was a tangled mess. His face looked ten years older than his age, and he was frowning.

He gave you a fake smile, and said, “hey sweetie, how was school?” This was his was of trying to hide/avoid something. Usually you’d roll with it without questions, but today was not that day

“What’s wrong dad? Did you get laid again?” It wouldn’t be the first time. Ever since your mom died, life hasn’t been the greatest of lives. We’ve had enough to last this long, but there were times that were close. Way to close for my liking.

“Umm… you may want to sit down for this honey,” He looked awful. You walked up to the table, and sat across from him. Then he started saying, “Look your- your grandma…” Oh no, this is it… isn’t it? You felt tears in your eyes threatening to fall, but not yet. Your dad was the exact same way. He continued, “Your grandma passed away last night,” You let out a shaky breathe. One you didn’t know you were holding.

“what?” you mumbled under your breathe. You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. You knew this feel. You’ve felt this type of dread once before, but you had hoped to never experience it again. It’s the type of feeling you should only have to feel once in your life. After a moment of shock, realization hit you in the face. She’s dead. The gates let loose the flood of tears you were trying to hold back. Once they opened, they won’t close until there’s nothing left. At this moment your dad came to you and held you close as you both cried. He was as close as I was to her, if not more so. He’s said many times to you how much he saw her as more of a mother than his own.

After a while you both calmed down, so he continued, “she left some of her things to us. We have to- to leave. We need to go set her funeral, and pay our respects.” At this point his voice was low and raspy. You nodded. You felt so empty in that moment. After that your memory becomes hazy, but you know there were more tears.

*** FLASHBACK ENDS ***

Within the next few days you were on a plane heading to London. After the plane landed, your dad had gotten a motel room to stay in while everything was being figured out.

One hour after you arrived, you found yourself stuck in a motel room by yourself. Your dad went to talk with her lawyer to figure all the legal stuff, so you figured you’d be here a while. Luckily for you, you had brought your favorite book series with you, just in case of course. It was Harry Potter. Right now you were reading Order Of the Phoenix. It was both your favorite and least favorite book in the series. It was your favorite because it had a great plot, and some of your favorite parts in the series were in this book. Unfortunately it contained one of the hardest deaths in the series. It still hurts even though you’ve read this book at least ten times. I’m Sirius (an: I’m so sorry that was such a bad joke but I couldn’t help myself).

    You do have to admit though that the Half Blood Prince was a close second. It revealed a good part of the Marauders era. J.K. Rowling needs to make a side series to give an explanation on what the hell happened during that era. Yes she had revealed some stuff, but it wasn’t enough for you. There were still to many holes, and so many unanswered questions. It has always bothered you. You had so many unanswered questions. There were countless nights where you couldn’t sleep (thanks to your insomnia). You would be thinking about different scenarios to fill those holes. Unfortunately they never filled all the holes, and questions. Sometimes it would create more.

Before you knew it, it was dark outside. You knew your dad should be home any minute now. Then you hear the door open. Speak of the devil. You put your book down and looked up. You felt your face turn to a frown. Something wasn’t right. You called out, “hey dad. How was it?” You felt like you knew what was coming, but you wanted to be sure.

    He acknowledged you, “Hey kiddo we need to talk,”. Here we go again. Your dad came towards you and sat down on the bed next to you. After a minute of silence, he sighs and looks at me straight in the eyes. Shit this isn’t gonna be good. What he says next shakes you to the core. “ according to her will, your grandma left more than a few things for us,”. He paused for a second and continued, “she left everything for us. Her money, her house, everything…”

You sat there in silence. You didn’t know how to react to this new information. You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it. You asked the one question that was plaguing your mind within that moment. You asked him, “what does that mean for us?”

He stared out of the window in thought. The silence was becoming deafening. Finally he looked at me and said, “ I feel like we should take advantage of the situation. It would be in our best interest to move to her home. Its all paid off, and its better than what we have in America. Not to mention the education system here is so much better than America,”. Damn he had to play that card. He knows I take my education seriously.

I wasn’t for this idea, but I knew he was right. We could both have an easier life if we decided to live there, but it was to soon. She just died for Christ sake! After a moment of thinking, I commented, “If you believe its going to be the best for us I won’t object. As much as I hate to admit it your right, but could you at least hear me out?” He gave me a sympathetic nod and I continued, “ You realize that if I go into her house, its gonna hurt me. I’m used to seeing her welcome me when I go, and your asking me to walk in there right after she died. Knowing she won’t be there to welcome me, hug me, make cookies, do gardening. All these memories will flood through me, and she won’t be there. Now your asking me to live in her house?”

        Right away he replied, “We don’t have too. We can stay in America, but this could be a good opportunity for us, (y/n)”. Then there was silence.

You sigh looking down at your hands. God he was right. You hate it when he’s right. You loved your little house in America, but you couldn’t ever make any friends. You were an outcast there. You guys settled down this past year. Before it was always moving due to the demand of his job. So making friends was hard anyways. it could be good to live here. It just hurts that I’d have to live in your dead grandmas home. After thinking, you gave him an answer, and said, “You’re right dad. Okay lets move here, but can I finish the school year in America?”

            *            *              *

It has been a few months now. After a few more talks, you and your dad decided the best course of action was to move to her house. So there you were packing your bags and boxes. It was so surreal to be moving to another country. You weren’t excited. One thing you weren’t okay with was change. Ironic isn’t it? Considering both your grandma and mother died, meaning you had to adjust to a new life. What you didn’t know was you would only be in the home for a year before something magical turns your world upside down.

@roxytheimmortal

[pierrotdameron]

1) Jean Grey: The Early Years

While X-Men: Apocalypse introduced a grown-up Jean to the First Class timeline, it turns out that Charles Xavier has a longer-standing relationship with her. “There are not a lot of flashbacks in the movie, but that foundational relationship between Young Jean and a younger Charles is one of the core themes of the film,” Kinberg explains. “The question of Jean’s relationship to her own powers becomes a big conflict for her throughout the film once she’s transformed by something that happens up in space, that has nothing to do with her childhood. It opens with a mission that takes them up into space that has consequences for Jean that ripple throughout the movie.”

2) The Professor’s Problem

In previous tellings of the Dark Phoenix story, Professor X has limited Jean’s capabilities after seeing the full potential of her power – and the Dark Phoenix trailer teases at a similar strand here. “Charles has been hiding secrets about Jean’s past from her that get revealed over the span of the movie, and only make her more unstable,” say Kinberg. “It’s the most inopportune time for this character to become unstable emotionally, because she’s becoming unstable in a much different way after this cosmic thing that happened to her in space. In this way, Dark Phoenix is the most intimate, emotional and personal movie we’ve made, and yet also has the biggest breadth in terms of spanning beyond our planet, even beyond our galaxy. There’s a sense that the things that are happening emotionally for Jean and what’s happening cosmically inside her is making her incredibly unstable, dangerous, destructive.”

3) Present Day

Cut back to the main timeline, and a reasonable amount of time has elapsed since we last saw Prof X and co. “It’s 1992, nine years after Apocalypse,” confirms Kinberg. “The X-Men have become the X-Men that many of us know from the comics – they are heroes. They’re still viewed as different by society, but they’ve been more embraced than ever before. And when the movie starts in 1992, they are a known superhero team.”

4) Suburban Outfitters

In a move sure to please many long-term fans, the X-uniform in Dark Phoenix finally brings in a classic yellow-and-blue design similar to the comic and cartoon incarnations. “I’ve been waiting to do that from the first time I ever got a call from Avi Arad,” Kinberg enthuses. “Avi and Kevin Feige were the chief two people that called me about an X-Men movie 15 years ago. We talked about the costumes, and what Bryan Singer had done I understood and liked, but they were very different to what I had grown up seeing in the comics. So I was excited finally as the director to have more of a say and clothe them in their classic costumes.”

The new look pinches elements from various designs seen on page and screen over the years. “I had a board full of my favourite images from the comics, and then I worked with our costume designer, who also worked on Logan, to create something that was incredibly loyal to the comics and then also had a little bit of its own feel. There’s little nuances from the cartoons, the comics, from whatever it is that if you were a fan you grew up reading or watching.”

5) Sense Of Mystique

While Mystique was primarily an antagonist in the original X-Mentrilogy, working alongside Magneto, she’s skewed more heroic as Raven since her introduction in First Class. At the end of Apocalypseshe chose to stay with Charles, and help establish the X-Men – and she’s still part of the group nine years on. “Raven is a part of the X-Men, but she’s critical of some of Charles’ methodologies, in terms of him feeling as though they can just dress up in those costumes and be considered the same as the rest of humanity,” Kinberg explains. “So there is a schism forming between her and Charles. That struggle has been present in every movie, and we do it in a hopefully slightly more subtle way in this film. She toggles back and forth between Raven and Mystique, and there is meaning to that as there has always been in the previous three X-Men movies.”

6) Star-Crossed Lovers

Jean and Scott Summers, aka Cyclops, both entered the prequel saga in Apocalypse, with sparks of chemistry between the two. In the comics and original film trilogy, the pair are a fully-fledged item – and in the intervening nine years they find themselves in a similar place emotionally here. “The love story between Scott and Jean is such an integral part of the Dark Phoenix saga in any iteration, whether it’s the comic book or the cartoons,” reasons Kinberg. “Obviously we don’t have Wolverine, so that’s one less part of that love story. It is very central [to the movie], and they are a couple. As Jean starts to become more unstable, there are people in the X-Men who don’t think she can be helped and saved, many of whom think the world and others need helping and saving from her. And so Scott is probably the most prominent person who’s holding on to the hope that Jean can be saved.”

7) The Village Green Preservation Society

While Charles remained at his mansion to build the X-Men team at the end of Apocalypse, Erik Lensherr, aka Magneto, went his separate way. In the Dark Phoenix trailer, he’s in a leafy commune when Jean approaches him for guidance. “What you’re seeing is the beginnings of Genosha,” reveals Kinberg. “That’s where Erik is when we meet him. It’s like Magneto’s Israel – a land built for mutants, a homeland where they can be safe and self-sufficient. Jean finds him there because what’s happening to her is making her do destructive things, and she doesn’t know why. The only person she’s known who has done destructive and lethal things in the past but came back from it is Magneto. She feels he alone can give her answers because he’s lived both sides. He’s lost control and killed and hurt people, some of whom he even loved, and yet he’s also found a measure of peace and that’s what she’s searching for.”

8) Intergalactic Influence

The main new cast addition to the series is Jessica Chastain, who’s gone all platinum-blonde to play… well, we don’t know. But Kinberg elaborated a little on the origins of her character. “I can tell you this much. Jessica’s character is not of this Earth. She’s an extra-terrestrial character, an alien character,” he teases. “I won’t say much more in detail on the specifics of that. While everyone else is trying to control this power inside of Jean, she’s much more interested in essentially encouraging her to go further with it and try to be the peaceful side of herself. She is the devil on Jean’s shoulder, so to speak.”

9) Cosmic Jam

Cut to the end of the trailer, and we get a glimpse of the outer space incident that kicks off the whole Phoenix takeover. “Jean is in space, and what she’s taking in is a cosmic force that she thinks is one thing, and over the course of the movie realises is something far different, that our human science can’t explain,” says Kinberg. “But she needs to find a way to control it or she’ll destroy more than just her friends – and even our planet.”

10) Cracked Actor

Before the title card, we see Jean in Phoenix mode, face streaked with white lines – and she’s only just getting started. “That’s not maximum [Phoenix]. That’s a two or a three on the Dark Phoenix spectrum,” warns Kinberg. “It is a manifestation of her transformation from the Jean we know into Phoenix. Over the span of the movie we see different symptoms or iterations of that. The lines on her face let you know that Jean is losing control, and that force inside her is trying to escape, push through, take over. Those cracks are almost as if something inside her that’s more powerful than she is is trying to push out of her body.”

11) Earthy Tones

For years, the X-Men logo and title card has been emblasoned in bold metallic fonts – but not here. X-Men: Dark Phoenix (or simply Dark Phoenix, as it’s being called in the US) has a darker, more mellow typeface that Kinberg explains is emblematic of a new tone for the franchise. “The way I wanted to make the movie was very different than the aesthetic of previous X-Men movies, which I’ve been very involved in and proud of,” he says. “But I wanted it to feel more naturalistic, I wanted it to feel edgier, more handmade, more real. I was very inspired by what James Mangold did with Logan, and I felt like if I could bring a measure of that aesthetic in the film that all of the intergalactic and larger-scale things that happen in the movie would feel more shocking, more realistic, more emotional. They’d be grounded in some reality. And so, all of the movie – from the costumes, to the title card, to the set design, to the way the X-jet looks – all of that stuff is just more analogue in a way. More like, let’s say, the original Star Wars movies. Not that analogue, but the movies I grew up loving had this very gritty, edgy, cool, human feeling to them.”

[imagine-loki]

Never Enough

TITLE: Never Enough CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1 AUTHOR: the-devil-herself  ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding out that your soulmate is Loki and your very first kiss is interrupted by Thor shouting “Yeeessss” RATING: M  NOTES/WARNINGS: This first chapter has an underage character, however, it is only a flashback. The character will be well of age by the present time in the next chapter!

After the events of the Battle of New York, Loki has been assigned to help the Avengers in their most dangerous missions because of his magic and powers. Loki is forced to live inside the Avengers compound with the rest of them, including you. As a seemingly normal woman, what reason do you have to reside inside the confines of the compound? As Loki tries to figure out your background, he notices a mark covered on your arm. (AU where Thor: The Dark World and resulting movies do not happen)

2011

“We need to get closer!”

“Are you crazy?” Dr. Selvig screamed at his colleague, Jane Foster. “We could die!”

Jane simply ignored him as she raced the car closer to the storm that seemed about to reach the ground, almost like a tornado. I sat in the back of the car by Darcy, her intern. However, Darcy did not look as nervous as I felt about this. I held on tightly to whatever I could find that was sturdy enough to keep me somewhat stable as the van started to shake violently as we approached the storm. Closing my eyes, I prayed that I would get through this incident unscathed or else my parents would kill my Aunt Jane, and even though we were close to possibly dying, I enjoyed visiting her for the summers.

Darcy looked at me with wide eyes. “Dana, hold on!” she screamed.

Suddenly, our van stopped with a big thunk, and it felt as if we had hit another car. Come to find out, what we hit was no car at all, but a god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How old are you?” the strange man asked me. It turned out his name was Thor, and he was from a different planet. Thor had just finished explaining his world to my aunt, and she quickly fell asleep in her lawn-chair after such a long day, leaving the god and I to ourselves.

I looked up from Jane’s journal where she had just scribbled as must as her fingers could muster to relate all of what Thor had told us. “Thirteen,” I replied.

“So young!” Thor exclaimed with a widespread grin on his face. “What reason do you have for being on this scientific journey?”

I laughed at his funny but welcoming demeanor. He made extremely comfortable around him even though I had just met him a few days earlier. “I actually have no reason to be here,” I teased. “Jane is my aunt, and I like to come out here to visit her when I can since she lives so far away.”

He nodded in understanding before saying, “Your parents let you come all the way out here just to visit your aunt?”

“They know I like space stuff so they thought it would be good for me to learn from my aunt since she is an expert in space.”

“An expert in space?” he laughed.

“Yeah,” I responded, giggling at my own stupid explanation of her job. “There’s a fancy name for what she does, but I don’t remember it.”

Thor smiled at me as I went back to studying the journal. The wind was picking up and both Thor and Jane were covered with blankets. Even though New Mexico is known for its simmering hot weather, the nights can get chilly. “Do you not need a blanket?” Thor asked, concerned.

“No,” I said while shaking my head. “I don’t get cold that easily. I’m fine right now.”

Thor continued looking at me with something in his eyes. He almost looked sad, but I couldn’t understand why. I know he was just banished from his home and his family and friends, but it seemed he was remembering or thinking back on something. I closed the journal, setting it beside me on my lawn-chair, looking pointedly at him to which he smiled at.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, “it’s just… you remind me of someone I know.” The sad look in his eyes returned.

“Who?”

One side of his mouth lifted into a small smile. “My brother,” he answered. “You’re both so filled with curiosity and the need to learn. He also did not mind the cold.”

I shifted closer and put my small hand on his shoulder like I’ve seen Dr. Selvig do to Jane when she was upset. Thor turned his head to me and chuckled. “What was he like?” I asked. It was a random question that just popped out of my mouth before I could think. I just felt an urge to know more about this other god.

Thor sighed. “Well he’s a prankster for starters,” he began while he rolled his eyes, making me giggle, “but a master of magic.”

“Magic?” I cried out.

“Yes! Magic! He could shift into any form, move things with his mind, create illusions, and all other kinds of magical things.” Thor continued to describe his intelligent, raven-haired brother to me, sharing funny stories of him shape-shifting into weird animals to prank his family. By the end of our talk, I could see mentions of his brother brought a smile to his face. He adored his brother. However, before I fell asleep in my chair, I saw a few tears roll down his cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~

Screams became muffled in my head as I tried to process the ruin and destruction before me. A large metal creature came towards us, blasting fire from where its face was supposed to be. Jane and Selvig were helping survivors onto trucks and cars, Darcy was supporting an injured man to a nearby truck, Thor’s space friends were trying to attack the creature, but they were failing. The creature continued to come closer before Thor stepped into the monster’s sight and dropped a heavy shield to the ground, making a resounding bang throughout the town that had suddenly fallen silent.

I could see Thor walking towards it, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying except for the word “brother.” Was this his brother? The one I reminded him of? It couldn’t be. The way he described their relationship, they seemed to be as thick as thieves.

The world fell deadly silent for a moment before Thor was thrown back a few yards from a hard hit by the giant creature. He fell to the ground, and blood came from everywhere. He was dying.

We all ran to him. Selvig tried to yell at me to stay back, but I didn’t listen. I knelt down by the man who had changed Earth as we knew it and brought laughter to our little trailer. Tears were flowing from my eyes, and I could hear Jane sobbing right next to me. Then, I stood up and turned around to face the monster who hurt killed my friend. I glared straight at him and clutching my fists together, but my tears betrayed my strong attitude.

The metal giant just simply stared back. It did not move for a few minutes, only staring back at me. I didn’t back down either but kept looking through the eye holes. almost as if I could see him. The intelligent, raven-haired god. Loki.

Before I knew it, a loud crack of thunder came from behind me. I turned to see Thor up and healthy, in a weird-looking costume that matched his friends, with his hammer that he talked so much about. Thor flew right at the monster and destroyed it. He then carried Jane to the site where we first met him, while Selvig drove Darcy and me. He said goodbye to them all before kissing Jane. He then turned to look at me. “This is not him, something must have happened,” he said determinedly, as if he was convincing himself and not me.

After Thor and his friends were brought back up into the sky, I felt a burning sensation on my wrist. I finally rolled up my sleeves to reveal a mark. A mark that I couldn’t figure out for years. Why did it appear? What did it mean? Afraid to worry Jane over me potentially being hurt, I pulled my sleeve back down and kept the mark a secret for years. Until I finally met him.

[gayfics]

Hiding Away

Chapter 1

It was a rainy night. Everyone was already asleep except for Domagoj, who couldn’t fall asleep for shit. He couldn’t stand the sound of thunder in the night, and the same went for the lightning that illuminated the hotel room once in a while.

“Gosh, I will never fall asleep under these conditions”

It was about midnight, but since the man couldn’t fall asleep he thought about dressing up and taking a walk in the rain. He thought if he went outside and walked around for a bit he will get tired and it will be easier for him to fall asleep later. Everything about that thought seemed nice so he went for it.

His plan went well, he dressed up, went outside his room and stepped out of the hotel in the dripping rain. Everything was pitched black; the only light came from the lightning and one room in the whole hotel. He wondered who is still up except for him. Then he just looked around and something caught his eye; not far away from him there was a bench where someone sat the lightning irradiated the view a few seconds later, the blond man tried to figure who is the man sitting there, he had an idea of who the man was, but he had to go next to person to actually understand who it was, or just…

“Mandžo?” Vida called the man in confusion. And the guy sitting on the bench turned to face Vida. It was Mario, just sitting there, letting the water drip from his hair on his face.

“Why are you sitting in the rain half naked, do you want to get sick?” Vida asked as he went towards Mario, who only wore a tank top, shorts and flip-flops; and it wasn’t the warmest of the summer nights. Mandžukič looked away.

“What do you know?” he replied with a soft and ironic tone.

“Well I do know that you are outside, in a thunderstorm and probably freezing,” Vida explained and reached for Mario’s hand, but the man rejected it by putting the hand in his lap.

Domagoj didn’t understand what is wrong with Mario, he has never seen him like this. And Mario wouldn’t talk about it, or in this case about anything.

At this point Domagoj just felt a bit awkward around his friend. So, he took off his jacket and put it on the shoulders of Mandžukič. The blue eyed man was really concerned, so he just squatted down in front of Mario, looked in his eyes and took his cold, wet hands in his, this time Mario knew he didn’t have a way to get out of Domagojs touch, so he stayed the way he was.

“I have no idea of what is happening” Vida tried to lock his eyes with Mario’s, “but we need to get inside or you will get sick.”

“Okay fine, I will go inside but only because I’m cold.”

  Chapter 2.

So Vida took Mario to his room; and looks like it was the one room in the whole hotel that was lit up. When he opened the oddly unlocked door he saw only chaos: a broken lamp, a completely destroyed pillow, ripped bedsheets, and clothes laying on the floor.

The blond guy tried not to question the mess, but he still did as an idiot he is “What’s with the mess? What happened?” He looked on Mario while walking in the room and taking off the wet shoes he had on.

“Why do you ask? You already know” he mumbled to himself in an angry tone and threw Vidas jacket on the messed up bed.

“Listen, I don’t know what you are talking about Mario, but it’s too late to call room service so I will clean this up for you.”  … Because I know you won’t and I don’t want you to fall asleep in such mess and then wake up in the morning looking around and remembering why you were upset last night… Vida thought to himself while he begun to pick up the clothes up from the floor. Mandžukič just looked at him and sighed “I guess you are right.” And helped Vida to clean up his own mess.

Domagoj was surprised hearing that, because it was something you heard rarely from Mario, cause we all know he is a little stubborn bitch most of the time, but it was probably only the exhaustion speaking.

Mario looked really tired both physically and mentally. Vida only thought of what has happened to his friend, the whole day was okay they joked around and laughed, but now he looks just broken.

Once they hid the lamp and somehow made the bed Vida spoke up again “Now you have to tell me what happened.”

“Looks like you will never fuck off.”

“No, I won’t! Why are you so mad at me? What did I do to you that made you treat me like garbage all of a sudden?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I thought friends talk about everything” Vida yelled out of care.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it! So you can take your stuff and leave!” Mandžukič looked on Vida as he said it in a rough tone.

Vida could see the pain in Mandžos eyes even if he made a straight -I’m going to murder you- face.

Vida didn’t leave the room he just stared at the broad man in front of him till he threw a jacket on him and repeated “Leave.”

Vida looked down took his footwear and left the room.

  Chapter 3.

Next morning Domagoj felt like shit, he didn’t sleep much that night, maybe two or three hours and that’s it. He played the footage of what happened last night over and over again trying to spot at least one hint of what could’ve happened to Mario, that made him mad at the worried man.

The day went by really slow mostly because he and Mario didn’t talk, if anything Mario ignored Vida.

At the training session Mario acted aggressive, and not the normal aggressive, no, no. He was on full rage mode, he yelled and cursed a lot. Even the teammates were bothered even disturbed by his aggressive aura. When ever Mario hit a penalty shot he almost hit Subas head. He left everyone wondering what has gone up to him. And Luka decided to take Mario off the field and talk to him.

Vida could only watch it all with his heart breaking. He felt like it was his fault and maybe it even was, but he didn’t know, because Mario didn’t speak about it.

As Luka and Mandžukič finished talking Mario seemed calmer and more relaxed, but he still ignored Vida with all his might.

After the long training session, the team went out to grab something to eat. On their way Luka came up to Vida.

“Hey, I see you and Mandžo have some difficulties, what happened?” Luka looked up to Domo as they were walking.

“Only if I knew, I couldn’t sleep at night, so I went outside, and I already saw him in this condition, I feel like I made it worse. Do you know something?”

“Mario told me that he is worried about him and his feeling right now.”

“What feelings?” Vida looked at Modric.

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell, but since he ignores you specifically, I have a feeling it is something about you. ”

“But I’m positive I didn’t do anything,” Domagoj said with an absolutely confident tone - at least I didn’t do anything before he vandalized his own hotel room - he thought to himself.

“Okay, Domo, you have to think about what happened yesterday.” Luka looked at Domagoj and winked. Then he just left.

  4. chapter.

/The day before, flashback/

On Vidas point of view everything went well, they won the game, the had fun after it, they took pictures, joked around, had a drink or two – they had quiet a celebration. Well, not just the two of them – the whole team. Vida and Mandžo were together the whole time and they didn’t argue at all, I mean they even danced waltz in celebration which was funny, but they had fun and that is the most important thing. And Vida only guessed that Mario had about 2 hours to demolish his hotel room and be upset. Yes, he had some alcohol in his system, but Vida was positive that Mario was aware of what he was doing, because if he didn’t, why would he be mad at him now. He wouldn’t even remember the incident.

Vida needed answers, but he ain’t getting shit, the only shit he is getting is even bigger confusion. If he did something that night that would trigger Mario he would see it immediately, but this is out of a blue situation.

  Chapter 5

/Mario’s view/

-We just won the match! Oh god where is that elf of a man?! I have to hug him! - Mario thought to himself and suddenly Vida jumped on the man and yelled!

“We did it!”

“WE DID IT!” Mario yelled louder in response.

And then they both just yelled and hugged and laughed it off!

“Hey, we should take a celebration picture,” Vida requested.

“Well fuck yeah we should, you didn’t even have to ask that,” Mandžo only laughed.

The celebrated the victory in Šimes room. They sang songs, did live, danced; they all were so happy. So happy they fucked up the lyrics to songs and sometimes even the keys, and they didn’t care.

Mario sat down to take a breath after such singing.

He looked at Domagoj who was singing and thought – wow, he is actually great at singing, and how come I never knew about that? –

Vida looked at Mario and went towards him with a big, goofy smile on his face, once he came close enough he demanded “Hey, dance with me!” as he reached for Mario’s hand.

Mario laughed it off, “What the fuck Domo? I thought you didn’t drink.”

“WhAt ThE fUcK DoMo? I tHoUgHt YoU DiDn’T DrINK. Well I didn’t at least not much, come on!” Domagoj laughed and waited for Mario to accept his hand.

-What a fucking dork he was, how can you not love such a bean? - Mario thought to himself and cut Domos waiting by accepting the request to dance. Mario never knew that Vida can dance this well, even too well. Mario thought they danced, because the were happy and the celebrated, basically he thought all of this as a joke, but then he felt something, not only Vidas hands, but also this spark, spark he probably shouldn’t feel. He shook the feeling off and enjoyed the dance and the celebration till the end.

Once everyone went to their rooms and Mario was completely alone, the spark came on again and he begun to question himself on what is the feeling inside of him.

He thought something was wrong with him, he was mad at himself, because, he knew they are just friends and they probably will never be anything more. He was mad, and he turned full rage mode on his hotel room, thinking it would calm him down or he would lose the spark, but nope, the spark was still there and it wont leave, so he just sat down on the bed with a pillow in his hands. – How am I feeling that way towards a man? Towards my best friend? How will I ever be in one room with him? How will I speak to him? Will he accept my feelings if I ever told him? What will others think? THIS IS UNACCETABLE! – Once he stopped thinking he realized that he has ruined the pillow; he threw it away.

“Okay, I need to relax,” Mario spoke to himself while thinking of another way of how to shake off the feeling. He turned on the light and gave the room a second look. – The shower. I should go to the shower. – He thought and immediately took off all of his clothes and threw them away.

He really thought that a cold shower will be a way to suppress his feelings for Domagoj, but, well he just ended up thinking about what would’ve happened if he kissed him after the dance. He has daydreamed about Vida before, but not in such way. He had thought of going out with him and talking about nothing and everything all night long, but never of kissing him or cuddling with him to the point they were having sex. The tall man didn’t know where to put his thoughts, so he just went out of the shower, took his bag took out every single clothing item till he got shorts and a tank top, he didn’t even bother putting on boxers. He looked outside and thought – maybe a walk will help – so he put on the chosen outfit and flip-flops and headed out in the night.

It was windy and it drizzled, but Mario needed to clear his head, so he didn’t really care about the weather. The drizzle turned into a thunder storm pretty quickly, so Mandžo only thought to himself that he won’t walk anywhere, and that’s when he saw a bench nearby, so he went to sit there and collect his thoughts.

The man looked down and let the rain soak in his shirt and thunder to bang in his head. About forty minutes have passed and the thunderstorm still haven’t stopped. The lightning striked and suddenly out of a nowhere “Mandžo?” Which made Mandžukič look at the direction where the blond-haired man was and think -Vida? Oh no, what is he doing here? Did he see me being outside? -

“Why are you sitting here half naked, do you want to get sick?” Hearing that from Vida only made Mandžukič think if he wasn’t already sick – love sick.

“What do you know?”

“Well I do know that you are outside, in a thunderstorm and probably freezing,” Ang Vida was right, he was freezing, but he didn’t care. He saw Domo reaching for his hand, but he didn’t want to remain the physical contact with him. It already was painful enough as it was. Mario didn’t want to worsen the situation or say anything wrong that’s why he didn’t speak at all. The man looked down and let the sound of thunder take over his feelings. Suddenly he felt something warm on his shoulders and the rain didn’t soak up his shirt anymore. -Damn him for being such a nice person, such a nice friend. Friend… He is just a friend and nothing more. – that’s when Domagoj squatted down in front of the upset man. He wanted to fly out and away from where he was; and then Mario felt the warm hands of Domo, he is trying to keep himself from breaking down, because he felt too much. He didn’t know what to do, so he decided to look in Vidas eyes and listen to what he says.

“I have no idea of what is happening, but we need to get inside or you will get sick.”

-He is right, I have sat here long enough-  “Okay fine, I will go inside but only because I’m cold.” – and also because I don’t want it to turn into a weird make out session.

They went up to his room in complete silence. Once Mario was close to his room, he remembered about the destruction he left behind. -Shit, what will he think when he sees? Wait why do I care? – He looked at Domagoj, – Oh yeah right…-

Once Vida opened the door, Mario looked closely at Vidas reaction, - I swear if you are going to ask –

“What’s with the mess? What happened?” – Damn it Vida –

“Why do you ask, you already know.” – …that I am an aggressive little shit – yes. That I fell in love with you and don’t know how to accept it – no… -

“Listen, I don’t know what you are talking about Mario,” – Thank god you don’t. What would you think of me if you did? – “But it’s too late to call room service, so I will clean it up for you.” – Shit, he is right. I have to clean my room, I can’t sleep in such mess. – “I guess you are right.” Mario hated the fact that he only thought about Vida finding out about his feelings towards him, and that he imagined Vida being disgusted or upset, because he didn’t feel the same and he also couldn’t stand himself thinking about throwing Vida in the bed he’s next to and kiss him. – oh god I have to stop thinking about all of this –

Once they were done cleaning up Vida spoke up, Mario didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to explain how he was feeling, because he knew he will break down if he will. He didn’t even hear what Domagoj said, but he answered anyway even though he knew he shouldn’t.

“Looks like you will never fuck off” he said it without thinking about it twice, even if he should’ve, because the tone or the thing he said was too rough even for himself to handle. – shit – was the only thing he could think of.

“No I won’t! Why are you so mad at me? What did I do to you that made you treat me like garbage all of a sudden?”

-Ugh, I fucked up really bad – “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I thought friends talk about everything,”

-Friends... we are just friends, and nothing more and never will be anything more then just friends. – “I said I don’t want to talk about it! So, you can take your stuff and leave” Mario probably said it too rough. He fucked up and he knew it, but maybe it was better to push him away.

Vida just looked at Mario confused and in pain and he felt it, but shit, now he cannot change anything anymore, thus he added up the last bit of him, he threw the jacket on him and said his last words to Vida “Leave” he could see the aching soul in Vida, he didn’t want to hurt him, but he was too disorientated at the moment to fix anything.

When Vida closed the door behind himself, Mario fell in the bed his with a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes. He is scared to lose Vida also too fucked up and stubborn to tell him sorry anytime soon.

  Chapter 6

Mario cried himself to sleep that night. But he will try to act like nothing happened yesterday. Yeah it was hard for Mandžo to act that way when he saw Domagoj. He immediately turned away and acted like he is a ghost. He wasn’t mentally prepared to see or talk to his teammate. He didn’t want to worsen things.

At the field he tried to be himself, but by looking at everyone, he felt like he was exaggerating and besides, he was too mad at himself and he needed to put all of that rage somewhere. Whenever he had the ball and he ran to the goal Šuba looked terrified that Mandžukič will knock him out with a ball, it almost happened twice already and that made Luka to take him off the field and talk to him.

“Hey Mandžo, can we talk for a second?”

Mandžukič didn’t speak, he just noded.

“The team has noticed, that you are not quiet yourself today, what’s up?”

Since Mario knew Luka isn’t the one to walk around and spread everyone’s problems ( or you could just say he was a loyal friend and respected everyone’s privacy) he decided to to speak up.

“Honestly I fucked up, I think I have lost Vida. Well not lost him… To make it clear, I have no idea of what’s up, I’m just confused; I think I am in love with Domagoj. But I cannot talk to him about it.”

“Why can’t you?” Luka looked up in Mario’s brown eyes.

“Because… What will he think? And afterwards what will others think?” Mario looked at everyone on the field; mostly on his love interest.

“Okay,” Luka smiled, “first off don’t worry about what anyone else will think, the team will be with you no matter what. And second, believe me knowing how much Domo actually cares about you, he won’t reject, also seeing him like this, makes me think something happened, because I only see him act like this when he has lost a game.” Luka took a pause, looked at the tall man and said “You should go and talk to him about this after the practice”

Mario’s tummy flipped hearing that he should talk to Vida about his feelings.

“Oh my god, oh god, I don’t know. Are you sure I should do this? What if he actually rejects me? What if he –”

Luka interrupted him “Jesus,” he laughed “stop barfing out questions, everything will be fine. You will be okay, at least at the end you will know, just promise you will talk to him.”

Mario was ready to puke already, it felt like the death of him “Okay, Lukita I will try my best.” The man inhaled and asked the last question, “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Luka only looked at his teammate who is on the field and replied “Look at him, he absolutely will, but I can encourage him for safety”

“Just please, don’t tell him anything” at this point he was just yelling inside of his mind – WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT DID I JUST SIGN UP FOR? –

“Okay,” Luka gave a pat on Mandžos back “calm down, breath, and now go and train you lazy animal.” Luka and Mario laughed, and Mario felt relieved, stressed, but most importantly he didn’t act up like he did before.

Mario was still kind of ignoring Domo, but only because he was trying to mentally prepare for what’s about to go down.

Once training was over Mandžukič ran to the showers as fast as he could to get ready.

When they all got to the restaurant Mario finally looked at Vida that was sitting across the table, he looked at him so long till Vida looked back at him and their eyes were locked for a few seconds. The broad man went away from the table and out of the fast food restaurant without even ordering at least a cup of coffee.  

Mario wasn’t really in the mood to eat. He was over excited and nervous. But he didn’t want to go away, that’s why he just sat next to an empty table at the outdoor café. In few minutes Domagoj was out here too.

“Hey, what’s new?”

-oh god, it’s going to happen anyway. –

“I got you some coffee, thought you might want some,” Domagoj said in a calm tone and put the coffee cup in front of Mario.

“Thank you, I didn’t think I wanted coffee at first, but I guess I actually do,” Mario said while taking a sip out of the small cup.

“I think we should talk” “I need to tell you something.” Mario and Vida said at the same time.

Mario gestured at his friend across the table to talk first.

“Well,” Vida begun “It is really not a thing to just say it like that..”

“I can say the same about what I was going to say, but go on,” Mario commented and took his cup of coffee.

“Mario,” Vida stuttered, “I love you.”

  Chapter 7

Mario, didn’t expect anything like that at all, he expected a little chat about what happened maybe some apologies for reasons and maybe even no reasons, and at the end Mario telling Vida about his feelings, but this.  This came out of a nowhere.

-Did Vida really just said that, or it was just my sick mind playing tricks on me? – He put his hands over his face and put elbows on the table...

Vida just looked at the man and he really was worried by his reaction, “Mario?” he spoke with pain in his voice. “Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have said that” still with pain in his voice he got up, but Mario grabbed his wrist which made the smaller man turn around. Mario didn’t speak a word he just gestured for him to sit down and Vida did. Mario still had his hands over his face.

“Mandžo, I can’t sit here, looking at you not knowing what is on your mind right now.”

Mario took the hands off his teared-up eyes and looked at Domagoj, who looked like was about to cry too, but never did.

“For how long? And why now?” Were the only questions he cared to ask at this point.

Vida looked down on his lap and mumbled “I don’t know, for a while now.  And honestly, I don’t know why right now, I guess because Luka inspired me to talk to you”

“Does he know?” Mario wondered.

Domagoj knew there was no point in lying about this, so he just said the truth “Yes.”

Mario looked into Domagojs eyes and for the first time smiled – Ahh, Luka that cheeky bastard, of course he knew, he is the first person to ever know anything around here. – Mario thought.

Domagoj just looked at Mario with a really confused look, I mean he did just confess his love for Mario… and somehow a third eye opened and Vida understood everything. He read Mario’s face like a book and all of the puzzle pieces went together by themselves.

Vida smiled back at Mandžo in response. “Okay, you wanted to tell me something too I guess,” Domagoj brought up the conversation.

Mandžukič felt the tension. Also, he knew Domo is reading his mind right now and Vidas smile only told /Come on, just tell me, it’s obvious/

“Um, no I won’t tell, it’s irrelevant” Mario joked.

Vida only tortured him now with the look on his face and with the continues “Come on, say it”.

Mario only shook his head and looked into Vidas starry eyes and his stupid, happy face.

“Domo, no.” Mario sipped some coffee.

“Oh, come on I know you love me back,” When Domagoj said that Mario could only choke on his coffee he tried to lie “No I don’t.”

Mandžukič lifted his body out of the chair, turned around and walked on, but the blond, energetic man just took speed, jumped on Mario’s back and kissed his cheek.

“Nerd, I know what you are doing!” the smaller man wrapped himself around Mario like a koala wrapped itself around a tree.

“No, you don’t,” He held the little elf of a man, so he doesn’t fall off and went away from the café to a park nearby. Mario was right Domagoj didn’t know what his plan was at that particular moment.

“Yes, I do, you are running away from yourself and… where are you taking me?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” Mandžukič said with a smirk completely ignoring the first part of the sentence.

“Okay…” Vida was super disorientated at the moment, “But I still know you are absolutely running away from your feeling.”

“No, I’m not,” he lied with a smile on his face, he was a good liar in general, but now he just wanted it to be obvious.

The park was stunning it had a lot of benches, also some memorials and statues; the place was filled with flowers and trees. In the middle of the huge park was a water channel almost as clear as the ocean and it was the thing that caught Mandžukič’ eye.

Since Mario was in the park before he knew an interesting thing about the channel – there were boats for rent, and he knew Vida would love it.

“Mandžo, you can’t stay silent forever.”

“Yes, I can if want to.” Mario loved to tease Domagoj so much. Mostly because Domagoj was really impatient. “Okay it’s time for you to get off now” Mario demanded.

“Or else?” Vida teased.

“I won’t talk to you,” after that sentence Domo immediately jumped off Mario, even if he knew it’s a joke.

Mandžukič knew the boat rental was behind the bushes so he told Domo to stay there and to close his eyes. As he came back he spoke up “You peaked, didn’t you?”

Well Domagoj on the other hand was bad at lying. So when Mario asked that question only to check if he actually was or not and for a surprise, he actually wasn’t.

“Okay, let’s go,” Mario said.

“So, you just made me stand here for no reason?” Vida looked furious and when Mandžo saw his face he couldn’t help but laugh. He grabbed Vidas hand and lead him to what was behind the bush.

Just like Mario expected Domagoj was really excited when he saw the boat

“Let’s sail in to the waters?”

Domagoj fell more and more in love with the man, he has never seen him so romantic, so he just answered with a smile and a nod and they went for it.

/The Maine – Only Wanna Talk to You/

They remembered that no one knew where they went, but they didn’t even care, because they didn’t have anywhere else to be. If anything, they just laughed about it.

Mandžukič never felt this good with anyone. -He looks so good. I can’t believe he actually loves me. I bet it was hard for him to do so. I mean, keeping it inside and trying not to show it. At least not so much it was obvious.-

“Hey, umm..” Mario looked at the water as he stopped rowing the boat. “Remember, that I wanted to tell you something at the café, but I never did?”

Domagoj looked onto the man “yes?”

“I guess you have to know,”

Domagoj shook his head, “I already know”

“What?”

Suddenly Domagoj Vida took Mario Mandžukič by his collar and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss. It was a surprise for Mario; it felt like a dream.

When they pulled away they looked into each other’s eyes and Mario just whispered “I- I can’t believe this.” To which Domagoj just smiled and replied, “Me too.”

This time Mandžukič was the one to lean in to kiss; he didn’t care if anyone saw. His fingers went through Vidas hair and then slid down his spine, while Vida had put one hand on his thigh and the other on the waist. There was nothing that could stop this kiss.

And then someone whistled the “hey sexy” tune, which made the brown-eyed man to look up.

Vida only sighed “I know who that was even without looking.”

That was when not only Šime and Dejan came out, but also the aggressive Mario came out, literally he became so mad he jumped into the water and swam to murder those two fucks.

“Mandžo what the fuck are you doing?” Vida yelled with a little laugh, “Mario? For fuck sake, they didn’t do anything! … Damn it.”

Dejan and Šime laughed at the mad person who swam through the channel just to get them; for Mario’s advantage he was a fast swimmer and so he was out of the water in no-time and running to both guys.

Vida sat in Mario’s seat and rowed the boat; he couldn’t look at the guys and not laugh at the situation and at how ridiculous Mario could get sometimes. He looked at his body that flew across the park to get Vrsaljko and Dejo and he could only think -Luka was right, he is the one. -

  Chapter 8

/Luka/

He was the one who would see and hear everything, but not speak up about it. He really can tell how a person feels by only looking at them. He is basically a wizard of a man. Yes, sometimes he was wrong, but the good thing is that he never say anything straight to the face (even tho sometimes he felt like he should) – he leaves hints.

He is a person to read minds without actually doing so. It’s mostly because people would always go to him for advice or just to talk about problems, and he, as an observant man he is, has noticed how people would act in certain situations and different moods. And yes, he did notice how Domagoj acted when he saw Mandžo, how he hugged him after every goal, how he looked at him when he was training, how he moved when he was talking to him. Those were the little things, but Luka noticed. And it went on since the celebration in one of the teammates hotel rooms. It was like a party – a lot of people, beer and music. Luka didn’t drink much that night, but he did enjoy the party.

Domo was waisted which wasn’t surprising, and so was Mario. When Mario is this drunk he doesn’t remember anything next morning, the only things he remembered is the beginning of the party and that it probably was the best party ever. But Domo however remembered every single detail, the only problem was that he was on auto-pilot, basically he doesn’t control himself.

Luka probably was the witness of Vida falling in love with Mandžukič, nobody else saw it, because they weren’t looking at them as closely and Luka did. Anyways why did Luka was looking at Vida anyway?  well shit idk I’m just a narrator It was because Luka actually liked Domagoj and also he didn’t want him to do some stupid shit, like this one time he literally was about to jump on a chandelier like it was some kind of monkey bar and sing despacito for no reason – he goes stupid once he has some alcohol in his system.

Anyway he saw him staring at someone, at first it was hard to crack at who, but when a person stares at someone this long (or just glares at them once in a while) you can notice who is the chosen one. And Lukita saw it that in this case it was Mario. He wondered what did Domo saw in the teammate, not in a jealous matter; he really did wonder what was attracting Vida to Mandžukič. Luka did know that Mario wasn’t just a man full of fire, even if sometimes it seemed like he was only made of fire and fury. That’s why Modrič thought if Vida saw that too. He saw the drunk man walking to Mario’s direction. Since it was loud they were basically yelling in each others ear; Luka did also notice how Mario looked at the short man. After a little while Mario left the room. Domagoj a bit upset looked around the place to maybe find someone to talk to and that’s when his eyes landed on Luka, the man who was looking at Domagoj the whole time; he walked to him.

“Hey, can I sit here,” the man pointed on Lukas lap.

“Uhhh,” Luka didn’t know what to say for a second, “Maybe you can sit there.” He pointed to the chair that was next to him.

“Yeah, okay,” Vida sat and looked at nothing.

“Is it okay for a guy to like a guy?”

“I think so,” Luka answered and took a sip of the beer he had, “why?”

“You see, I have thought about someone for a while now, but I don’t know what they think of me…”

“Why don’t you ask them?”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s Mario!” Vida yelled, but only so Luka hears it.

“Well, I mean, I do understand your struggle, but it’s not like Mario will kill you after you ask him.”

Vida stared at Luka with a “dude, do you even know Mario?” look.

To which Modrič answered with “I know, I know, Mario is the man of fire, the one who could kill, but also the one to protect what they love at all costs. And I guess you are right, there is no point of asking him about his feelings, because he is the one to hide away from what he feels and I think as a defense mechanism he probably would show pure aggression till he admits to himself.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you know so much about him.” Vida looked at the small man with a surprised look.

“I don’t, but he seems like that type of person.”

“Oh,” the dunk man replied, “Should I tell him?”

“I don’t know if you should right now, but don’t suppress your feelings either – do stuff together, celebrate together,” Luka said, to which Domagoj replied with a simple okay and left.

The next party happened after they won versus Denmark, where Luka was once again the team mom and the supervisor, because, well, you never know what will someone (DOMAGOJ VIDA) pull off next.

Domagoj listened to what Luka said; he never ignored Mandžo or suppressed his feeling that much, he kept it as his secret, but also showed it off a bit. They also did celebrate together, the dork even asked Mario to dance with him, which was a typical Domagoj thing to do.

Mario didn’t drink as much as the last time, and Modrič saw Mario’s expression towards his dance partner, he looked at him with such stars in his eyes and yes Luka did notice every single move. Did I say that Luka could read people by their gestures, expressions and movements? Well that was exactly when he saw Mario falling in love for Vida and as Luka predicted, he tried to stay cool and not showing it (and yes acting natural didn’t seem that natural, but not everyone could see the change)

The next day Mandžukič was more him then usual as in he really tried to hide from himself in his anger. And Lukita immediately knew what’s up – Mario is in love and he can’t deal with himself. That’s why he originally wanted to talk to him and yeah also because it looked like he will kill poor Šuba with a ball.

Once Mario told about the feelings he had, the little man couldn’t help but be excited. That’s why he alerted Vida with hints like “think about what happened yesterday” and a cheeky wink. He wasn’t sure if Domagoj understood the hint, but he hoped for the best.

When they got to the café and he saw Mario stare at Domagoj and then leave, Lukita went to the blond man and told him “It’s the right time.” To which Vida only nodded and got some coffee for him and his love interest and he went out.

Luka smiled cause he knew that everything will go well.

  Chapter 9

/The Maine – Black Butterflies and Déjà vu/

A while had passed since Domagoj confessed; both of them are glued to each other ever since and everyone can feel the magical aura around them, but that doesn’t mean they have forgotten who they are individually. Mario is till the same ol’ angry pup, who is about to murder anyone and everyone and Domagoj is still the guy to do the craziest shit that will get him in trouble, but now that he has Mario with him he is the only one Domo would annoy. You maybe think it is playing with fire, but for the goof it’s only comedy gold, because whenever Mario gets mad at him for the things he does, Domagoj laughs on top of his lungs which usually makes Mario more furious however that makes Vida laugh even harder. The only thing that usually makes them stop everything is a rough, spicy kiss. Obviously, they are perfect for each other; they know each other, and they know how to deal with everything one of them puts them trough. But the best thing is that they will never be bored together. That’s why after the world cup this happened:

/Domagoj’s view/

-Oh my god, I think I have never seen so many people in one place like this - in Croatia-

Mario picks up the mic to talk to everyone – friends, family, tv, crowd. “Hello everyone, you all are absolutely nuts with this celebration, I honestly have no words for all of this, I am just speechless.” Mario looks at the bright lights in the crowd. – Aww, he is so bad at public speaking, it’s so cute, he is such a dork – but Domagoj looked at the man with starry eyes anyway. “But that’s why Croatia is the best RIGHT?” He continued.

“Domagoj listen,” -wait, did he just mention me? –

“I’ve felt so much towards you, of course anger is one of those things,” he laughs “but that is not the point” Mario finally looks up from the crowd and the lights to Domagoj.

“When I realized I have this spark for you, these butterflies and all that,” Mario slowly steps closer to the man, “at first I couldn’t stand myself, because I never thought you’d feel the same way.” Vida looks at the speaker with a slight shock. Mario looks deep in Domagojs eyes the tension is all over the place, everyone looks on the couple, Vida cannot even think at this moment.

“Domagoj Vida, I love you,” Vida already knew that, but hearing that from Mandžo was a completely different thing. Mario dropped on one knee,

“Will you marry me?” He said as he took out a small box and opened it showing off a gorgeous ring that would perfectly suit Domagojs ring finger.

Vida is in a complete shock, people around him cheers, the team chants “Just say yes!”

Mario looks on the shocked man, someone gives Vida a microphone -Oh lord- Domagoj quiets down whole Croatia with his answer “Funny that you asked, because…” Mario’s face gets blue, and disorientated, but since Domagoj never gave an answer he stays still in the position he was; the blond man pulls something out of his pocket and continues “Because I was going to ask the same question!” Everyone remains shocked, but now in a good way, the team cheers the little bit of tension that was in the air has turned into a soft and dreamy atmosphere. Both men said yes and later that night they celebrated with champagne and an argument about where their wedding and honeymoon should be also with a lot of kissing and a night walk on the beach.

The end.