#never trust how you feel about life after 9 pm

[5mary5]

I need to see the obey me characters dealing with a socially anxious mc that gets anxiety attacks when meeting new people or when going to new places in order to soothe the sadness within me right now

[arielluva]

i keep thinking about how scared i am about starting college and im trying to hammer in "do it scared" with the like. 3 weeks i have before it starts

[maareyas]

god i wish i could change my sleep schedule like a switch. i work the graveyard shift so the sleeping pattern carries over to the weekends :^( but i wanna be awake whenever everyone else is awake too

[everlune-evotide]

I feel better this morning, thank you to those who prayed for me.

[fujoshiwarrior]

i have got to stop staying up this late it always tanks my well being

[moodyvamp]

let me see how i feel about this tomorrow morning

[notmuchtofind]

public eye | d.s

pt2 here x

word count: 1.6k

tw: mentions of infertility and low appetite

synopsis: the lead up to the breakup between you 2

it's everywhere.

'Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n SPLIT' ,

'What Happened Between Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n?', 

'Drew and y/n Messy Breakup?!"

you can't escape what you're trying to forget...

You and Drew were together for 3 and a half years, you guys went public with your relationship pretty quickly, constantly making tiktoks and posting instagram stories of each other. It sent fans Wild! which caused you to gain a huge following on the internet, from fans of obx to just random people in general that simply enjoyed seeing your guys' relationship unfold.

you were the IT couple. Red carpets, premiers, award shows. you name it. you did It all with Drew. 

your life changed drastically when you met drew. and because you were doing it together it was all okay. more than okay, it was bliss.

It's been 2 months since you guys broke up, and even though neither of you had addressed it online yet, people started to speculate, people started to talk and people came to an assumption (which was correct) that you and Drew were no longer together. 

| a week before the break up |

*buzz* your phone vibrates...

its drew

Drew: Hey, plans have changed, I'm sorry I can't come see you tonight...reschedule? 

you sigh...

this is the 3rd time in 2 weeks he's cancelled your plans for something that's "just come up". You've never been the type to not trust Drew, he's always been truthful and you guys have been so transparent with each other ever since you got together, but something just feels off this time. you know that you guys have been struggling for the past couple of months with distance and lifestyle changes and it worries you that it's all getting a little too much for you both

Was it the brief mention of you wanting to try for a baby in the next 1-2 years? Maybe it scares him? but you struggle with your fertility and starting to look into starting a family now would prepare you for the next couple of years...

OR

Was it the long distance? He's busy shooting a new movie for Netflix which requires him to go back and forth between LA and Hawaii, its difficult because neither of you like LA enough to want to spend time here constantly, but you've compromised for drew, and with him not even being here half the time, it feels like a waste of time. and this text message just tops it off for you, you haven't seen him in a week, and your mainly here for him, it feels like a stab in the back.

you open your phone and tap on the message icon...

your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a while whilst you think of the right way to phrase how you feel

maybe it would be best to just have a talk in person? you wonder...

y/n: reschedule for when? 

Sent!

a few minutes go bye, which feels like hours

*buzz*

Drew: I'll see you tomorrow afternoon after shooting? Brunch?Downtown LA?

you sigh, you just feel like Drews being stale...no pet names? no I miss you, I love you? you know its small but you can't help but overthink

but you're determined to not let your worry show through the message sent back

y/n: yeh, let me know what time, i'll see you tomorrow. night drew...I love you Read 22:34 pm

no reply

your alarm rings  9:30am 

you groan and fumble to switch it off

picking up your phone you squint your eyes to read the message from Drew which was delivered at 7am, you guessed he had to get up early for filming.

drew: i'll be done around 1pm if you wanna meet me at the cafe?

y/n: yeh, see you there

you respond

'The cafe' , the cafe you and drew always visit when in LA for premiers and awards shows most of the years you've been together. you knew exactly where he was talking about.

12:30pm rolls around and you grab your car keys after slipping your shoes on, ready for your 'date?"( if you can call it that?) with drew. The nerves kick in as you have a sinking feeling that he's got something to say... you switch on your car and drive over to downtown LA.

---------------------------------------

You grab your bag from the passenger seat and step out of the car after parking it down a side road near the place you're meeting. As your walking towards the cafe you see drew stud outside the main entrance on the phone...he looks to be laughing

as soon as he clocks you walking towards him he stutters, his face slightly drops and fumbles to end the call "yeh yeh, okay speak soon" drew mumbles.

drew pulls you into a hug as you step closer, its a tight hug, he kisses you on the head before pushing you back slightly, his hands on your shoulders

"how've you been?'' Drew says. "umm, yeh not bad" you smile slightly, nodding as you lie through your teeth. you've been nothing but a mess for the past couple of weeks.

"who was you chatting too just there" you nod, looking down at the phone in his hand

"oh, urm just, my costar in this movie, the directors wanting to change a part of the script so we was just like...discussing that" he chuckles nervously 

"oh I see" you shrug 

taking a seat inside, you watch and Drew goes up to the counter, ordering you both a coffee, he offers to order you food but you refuse. your appetite has been non existent for the past weeks, food was the last thing on your mind.

Drew sits opposite you after placing the coffees on the table. you play with your hair whilst staring at Drews hands gripping his coffee tight...

"so y/n...listen, I'm sorry I couldn't come see you yesterday, I, I uhhh..." drew stutters "I went for a drink with a few of the people from the set and uh... and I was up early this morning, i'd have had to of travel 45 minutes in an uber to come see you last night yanno...like, shit I dont know... it wasn't practical' he squirms, fumbling over his thoughts

it may have been minor, but you feel your blood boiling, you don't feel any apologetic energy coming from drew, it feels more like guilt, not that he's let you down, more the guilt that he enjoyed himself more than he would've with you last night...you're fuming

'stay calm y/n' you think too yourself

"But you knew we made plans for the evening Drew? you couldn't not drink for one night just to make sure you could see me?"

he leans over the table slightly "look y/n/n im trying to create a bond with these people I-"

you cut him off. 

"Seriously, what the fuck drew?!" you scoff "listen to yourself, it's been shit between us for months now and you think doing shit like this is going to fix anything?" you gesturing with your hands, trying to say slightly under your breath so the whole cafe cant tell your arguing

its silent for a moment whilst you both think of what to say next

"you know I'm struggling ?" you say through cracks in your voice, looking at drew, tearing up 

you don't want him to see you cry, you hate crying in front of drew, never mind in public

he just looks at you, guilty and wide eyed, he tilts back on his chair and sighs whilst pinching the bridge of his nose.

"fuck y/n, I dont know" he looks away...

" I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now, I'm working and I'm away and the last thing I want right now is a child y/n! do you understand?"

you're taken back... you've spent the last 3 years moving away from your hometown, supporting Drew, making a life for yourself wherever he goes but he can never meet you in the middle?! he won't even consider thinking through the thought of one day starting a family with you? you're just asking for a discussion about what the future might hold but he gets defensive every time it's brought up...

"Is that it?" you ask " is that what's turned you so cold?"

he leans over trying to grab your hand "fuck...baby, no I-" 

you flinch as you cut him off

"drew if it's not what you want and it's what I eventually want, are we even right for each other? what are we doing? you don't care for me like you usto, you're not the same, your a dick" you say trying not to shout

"I don't know what I want right now?" Drew states, not looking you in the eyes.

How's he being so calm? Why is he doing this? This is not like drew.

"fuck you" You stand up out of the chair and walk right out of the cafe doors, tears start streaming down your face and you try to hide you face with the palm of your hand...

*snap* followed by a flicker

*snap* *snap*

fuck.

you look around...

"is that paparazzi?" you mumble to yourself 

you walk faster to your car quickly opening the door and throwing your bag on the backseat, you fumble to turn the engine on and see slight flickers through the rearview mirror...this is the last thing you need right now.

part 2!!!!!

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons cause I love this chaotic little family

I’ve seen a lot of people say Ambrosius is a morning person and Bal is a night owl 

And I have to respectfully disagree 

Will Bal pull some all-nighters in the lab? Absolutely 

But this man is the most early bird coded character I’ve ever seen in my entire life 

When he isn't fully invested in a project he can't stay up past 10 pm

He wakes up at 6 am refreshed and barely needs caffeine 

I’ve also seen a lot of people say he’s a dedicated coffee drinker but something about this man screams “Coffee gives me migraines” 

Ambrosius on the other hand 

That’s an insomniac if I’ve ever seen one 

He’ll get ready for bed around 9 and then stay up til 3 in the morning

Poor babe needs coffee in an IV

He used to wake up really early back in the institute cause he was forced to run a mile every minute he was late to class 

And he’s a heavy sleeper so after the wall came down and he quit being a knight he wouldn't wake up before 1 pm even with Bals help 

And Nimona is just as bad 

Most nights Ambrosius will leave the room because he moves a lot when he can’t sleep and Bal is a light sleeper 

He’ll sit in the living room watching tv while trying to sleep and most of the time Nimona will join him 

Every once and a while Bal will find them laying on top of each other on the couch and will take them back to their respective beds 

And if you’re wondering what their favorite show to watch together is it’s those house-flipping shows 

But not for the reason you think

Most people watch those shows cause they think it’s inspiring 

Ambrosius and Nimona talk about how terrible these people are at their jobs  

They’ll go on hour-long rants about how these people are stripping the houses of everything that made them a home

(Ambrosius is a sentimental bitch and would be a maximalist after leaving the institute prove me wrong)

When Nimona is bored she’ll go into the city disguised as Bal or Ambrosius 

And she’ll fool literally everyone it’s a pretty common occurrence for the boys to be at home and then they hear the other swearing like a damn sailor because there are already news articles about it

The only people she can’t fool are Bal and Ambrosius 

Bal will shut them down almost immediately 

They’ll walk over to Bal and won’t even get a word out before Bal says “Shift back Nim you’re freaking me out”

They always make a big deal out of being caught making big decorations like “I’m getting better and one day I’ll fool you” 

And he’ll hum in agreement but he knows that it doesn’t matter how good he gets or how observant he is he’ll be able to fully copy every little detail 

The details that Bal has spent the past decade and a half remembering  

You know the little things like how he can’t say Bal or Nimona’s names without smiling even when he’s pissed

Or how he scrunches his nose when he laughs 

Ambrosius always acts like Nimona tricked him

He’ll let them get comfortable in the character and then he’ll drop the bomb 

Something small and inconspicuous like “Hey Nim do you want pizza for dinner?” and they’ll excitedly proclaim “Hell yeah pizza!” 

It takes them a second to realize they’ve been played and when they do they never make a big deal about it

They normally just mumble a curse or two and walk away with their tail between their legs (literally)

The first time Nimona tried to trick Ambrosius was when he was having one of those days 

You know the days when even breathing feels like a fucking battle

This was in a really awkward period too

Like right after Nimona and Ambrosius started trusting each other but right before they really started to get to know each other 

But she knew the boys well enough to know if Bal came home to a sad Ambrosius then he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day 

And she knows that the only thing that can cure a mopey Ambrosius is Bal 

She walked into the room and started talking to Ambrosius and was kind of surprised and a little bit peeved about how well she was fooling him

Until he said “You can drop the act Nim I know it’s you” 

They kind of just sat in that silence for a minute until Nimona said the first thing that came to her mind 

“You want me to find my sax?” 

Bal shouldn’t have been surprised to find Nimona disguised as him serenading Ambrosius with the worst freestyle jazz he’s ever heard (which is saying something)

He didn’t even say anything he just sat down and cuddled the love of his life while watching their kid try and play the sax while breakdancing

[andrbllts]

When Life Falls Apart

Plays "Fix You" by Coldplay

Hi everyone. It's 10:04:00 PM 9/13/24. In the middle of doing adhoc tasks at work. Here in my unfurnished apartment in Pasay.

There’s a special kind of peace on a cold, quiet night tonight. The air is crisp, the sky is a deep blue, scattered with stars that twinkle like tiny diamonds. It’s so quiet that even the smallest sounds feels amplified, as if the world itself is listening. The stillness is comforting, a gentle reminder of the beauty in solitude and the magic that a quiet night can bring. And this made me decide to write something here tonight. About what? Struggles.

If you’re reading this, the title of this post somehow, got your attention. You might be going through one of those moments when it feels like everything is falling apart. Maybe you’ve just failed at something you were deeply passionate about, lost someone you loved, or find yourself struggling to trust anyone because so many people have let you down. Life can be brutally challenging, especially when your heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million pieces, and the pain seems like it will never end.

I know this feeling all too well. I come from a complicated family background. My mom is still technically married to her husband, but they haven’t been together in years. My dad, on the other hand, is in a relationship with his wife and already had three kids by the time I was born. It was a messy situation, to say the least. I grew up mostly alone, spoiled by the financial support my parents provided, but lacking the emotional stability of a traditional family.

So, at 16, when I met my 2nd girlfriend, I was determined to create the family I never had. I wanted to experience the warmth of a close-knit family, and I promised myself that I wouldn’t let my own family be broken like the one I grew up in. I swore I’d be a responsible husband and father. But life has a funny way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. I was cheated on and led on five times before I finally decided to choose myself. It was soul-crushing, and at one point, I even contemplated ending my life.

I fell into a dark place, turning to vices, women, and alcohol, trying to numb the pain. I became someone I didn’t recognize—flirting for fun, pulling away the moment things got serious, too guarded to let anyone in. In my attempt to protect my heart, I forgot how to truly love. And when I did finally get into another relationship, I didn’t handle it well. I hurt people, became arrogant, and lost sight of who I was. My past mistakes haunted me, and it took years to recover from the self-inflicted wounds.

Eventually, I made a promise to myself: if I ever found myself in a relationship again, I would be the best version of myself. I would give that person the love and care they deserved, the understanding and passion I once had. And I did—I met someone, fell in love, and for a while, it felt like I was finally getting it right. But after two years, I got cheated on again. It was a painful reminder of why I guard my heart so fiercely. I love deeply, and when I get hurt, it takes me a long time to heal.

But this time, I refused to let heartbreak destroy me. I focused on healing and becoming a better version of myself. I met someone else, and although it didn’t work out, I’m okay. I’ve learned to find peace in the journey, even when the outcome isn’t what I hoped for. I’m still lucky. Life might not always go the way we plan, but I believe we have the power to decide how we respond, to pick ourselves up, and to keep moving forward, even when it feels impossible.

[strawb3rryshake]

dps memes as headcanons pt. 3:

when you ask to copy their homework

(as usual, i find these posts off pinterest!)

meeks:

- he probably never lets people copy his work (unless it’s an absolute emergency)

- not because he’s petty, but because he knows you’re not gonna learn unless you understand the material

- dw i feel like he’s such a nice teacher, and he’s used to tutoring the other poets, so he can offer several different strategies depending on how you learn best

neil:

- he understands getting caught up in life, so if you have an off day and can’t add homework to the stress, he’s got you

- his handwriting/work is really neat too so it’s easy to copy and translate into your own words (bc those teachers would KNOW if there was cheating)

- he’d probably even double check your paper to make sure it sounds original

knox:

- he’d give anyone the work if they asked tbh, he’s helpful but he probably wouldn’t be the best at trying to explain what he wrote

- idk why but i feel like his handwriting is a little bit messy? still legible but you have to read a little more carefully than neil’s

charlie:

- charlie definitely crams homework last minute, so he’s dead serious and probably forgot about it until now

- even if he did do the homework, he’d tease you about not having it done and then move on without remembering that you still need help

- “meeksie go help them with their homework”

pitts:

- whether he got help on his homework or not, he’s not gonna give it to you

- he doesn’t trust that the answers are right anyway, and he’s not gonna drag you down with him if they’re wrong

- (but he’d think it was kinda funny if you started complaining about how mean he was for leaving you hanging)

todd:

- he definitely forgot about it and you better hope it’s not too late at night because now you both have to finish the work

- the two of you go crying to meeks for help and end up having an impromptu study session

- after this you probably don’t ask him for the homework again, you guys just try to help remind each other

cameron:

- the work is done, but he doesn’t care to give it to you. especially if it’s late at night, this kid 100% has a strict bed time (besides when there are dps meetings and such)

- 9:00 PM or later? reads the notification, turns back over, and goes to sleep.

- he doesn’t let people copy his work anyway because that’s cheating😤

- he might help if you ask politely enough (or berate him enough, both strategies work), but he’s a really impatient teacher and probably scoffs at you a lot for not knowing how to do things

[seoulcheonsa]

lsm x fem!reader

9:54 PM

There was a familiar glint in his eyes as the corners of his lips curled upwards. As the night grew deeper, so did her sleep. Her soft breaths hit his face, tickling his cheeks while his thoughts travelled further in his daydream.

In his mind’s eye, warm lights enveloped the venue, reflecting off the glass walls of the greenhouse. White and lilac wisterias draped on an arch where he stood. Smiling faces beamed back at him, mirroring his excitement. The quartet started playing, silencing the quiet chatter, and prompting all heads to turn the entrance.

The doors slowly opened, revealing a woman, the train of her dress pooled around her. In her hands, a bouquet cascading with autumn clematis and gardenias, hiding her trembling hands and clammy palms.  Seokmin’s smile immediately grew bigger, and tears brimmed his eyes as he looked at the woman in pure awe. She smiled an even bigger smile at him, with eyes as if to say, “I love you.”

She started walking down the aisle, her eyes never leaving his as the world around them faded and it was just the two lovers. Their gazes spoke of endless reassurance and anticipation for the future that they were about to write. With every step she took, her racing heart slowed to the beat of the song. The promise behind Seokmin’s smile washed a calm over her, putting her mind at ease.

They stood before each other. The tears glistening in his eyes betrayed him as they started to flow freely. To him, she glowed even brighter than the lights that twinkled behind her.

“Hi,” she uttered shyly with misty eyes, taking his fingers in her hand. He swiped away his tears with his free hand and fully took her hand in his, squeezing it thrice.

“Hey, baby”

“Nice weather we’re having, no?”

He snickered at her, knowing this was her nerves talking. Nodding, he humored her and gestured for her to step closer to him knowing that the ceremony was about to start.

“When I met you, I didn’t know I would love you in ways I never knew I could. You came into my life when I didn’t think I needed anyone. I really thought I was better off alone, you know?” he chuckled at the thought. Now, he refuses to let his day start and end without her, whether it be a full morning routine or a simple text when they’re apart. Before her, he barely had time for any relationship that required more than a few days of his time. Now, he insists on driving her everywhere, even if he has to wake up before the sun even rises or stay up late into the night. Not that he won’t ever allow her to nor trust her, but he wanted to do even the smallest things for her so that even then, she’d feel how much he loves her.

“You are the completion of all the promises of love in my life. Seok, you have held my hand through all the crazy adventures I dragged you to, and not once did your smile fail. Everyday, you make it so easy to choose to love you and choose a future with you,” tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke. To her, it was like finally, the puzzle pieces had fallen into place. With him, everything felt right, because he made sure it was all right. They worked with a harmony that fit together like cogs in a clock. Like in a duet, they adjusted to each other’s tune and pace to make sure that no one was lagging. Seokmin was like that, sometimes forgetting himself. So, she always made sure to remind him to give himself credit and celebrate even the smallest victories with him.

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open where she found Seokmin staring at her, lost in thought. She gingerly ran her thumb across his cheek to take him out of his reverie, a smile gracing her lips as he blinked. He leaned up to press a kiss on her forehead while rubbing circles into her back.

“Sleep well?” he pulled her closer to him, going almost cross-eyed with how close they are. She hummed in response and kissed his nose, earning her a chuckle.

After another quick kiss, he sat up and took her with him, pulling her out of their room and stepping out onto the balcony. Outside, the night swallowed the streets, wailing sirens and distant horn of the train occupied the air. There was a smell of smoke floating around them, probably from a fire nearby. He pulled her close, wrapping both arms around her waist and resting his head atop hers.

“In another universe, do you think we’d still be like this?”

“I’d find you in any universe. I’ll put up missing person posters of you if I have to,” she declared, earning her laughter that she felt vibrating from his chest on her back.

“In this universe, no matter what happens, I know it’s us and I know that it’s you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi! hello! i wrote this with the prompts "harmony" in mind as well as Same 3x. i cried in the middle tbh because i decided to listen to Imperfect Love. those two songs are soooo perfect for weddings idk i'm soft. anyw! this isn't proof read and i wrote this as a way to get me out of a writing slump, i hope it's not too bad!

[bamdelune]

In Hindsight 📹 Ch.10: "blue hour"

notes. narration ahead, song used: Pasilyo by Sunkissed Lola, original video: LESSERAFIM Yunjin's Raise y_our glass @ Weverse Festival 2023 (video is used for setting building — edited by me), kind of messy T_T

[December 18, 2022 — 8:50 PM 📍Teyvat Uni]

It was nearing 9:00 PM and you were still nowhere to be seen within the stage's area and Kunikuzushi was getting worried. It was currently 8:51, 9 minutes to nine o' clock. He was about to turn to Ajax if he's seen you anywhere as he pulled out his phone but the second he was about to, the stage lights dimmed, turning into a pink color. There were quite a few conversations of excitement up front with those close to the stage.

An electric guitar chord strummed into the speakers of the venue to reveal a familiar face, and Kunikuzushi swears he would've dropped his phone in shock.

It was you, wearing an outfit completely different to the one you had on earlier. This time, it was white with a few hints of pink to match the dreamy theme of the event. He saw how much confidence you had on stage and even he could smile as you did the same, only you were looking at the sea of people watching you perform.

—

"What do you want to do before..." Kuni trails off as he softly munches on the dinner you were eating after getting discharged, feeling that the topic might be a tad bit too morbid for a meal.

You ponder for a while, "Before I die?" you chuckle. "A lot of things. Maybe perform live in front of a big audience, I never got to do that before."

"Huh.." Kuni hums at your response. Perhaps it was fitting. That time, he never saw your passion for music in real time—he felt curious to say the least.

Now that opportunity has presented itself in front of him, in front of hundreds of fairgoers just like him.

The man's face tugs into an admiring grin at how you skillfully drag your hands over the strings of the guitar when you sing in such an alluring tone. Kuni's heart is full of pride, so full of admiration as you achieve one of the goals you had trusted him to hear that one day. He burns the memory into his head.

—

You don't know if the people in the audience could sense it, but you knew your voice carried an emotion buried deep. Underneath all the dreamy and breezy mood of the song was a feeling of attachment. As if you didn't want this moment of finally achieving something you were dreaming of to disappear into the back of your mind. Compare it to the feeling of hanging by the edge of a cliff, with only a hand to stop you from falling off—to stop you from letting go.

The euphoria of performing seeped into the lyrics, as if it was the one thing that helped your audience enjoy your performance even just by a little bit. Couples were holding hands as they looked into their partner's eyes as if they were the only thing that mattered, friends were singing along together as if your song was a ribbon that tied them together. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy. You were jealous that you weren't goint to be able to experience the same by the time 10 months have passed.

The least you could do was make this performance memorable for the people here.

If you weren't able to experience that memory in the future, perhaps you would be honored to create that memory for others instead.

synopsis. You are a singer-songwriter. Music has always been a part of you, it's a part of your identity that no one can ever take away. However, there's always a catch: you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts your life on a timer. Those who have heard your countless melodies have grown to notice that the notes on the sheet played a gloomier tune. Would the snarky and capable medical student you've met be able to bring life back into these melodies? Even as life begins to seep out of your own body? (scaramouche x gn!reader)

tags. gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, crack, heavy contexts of death and illnesses, friends to lovers, slowburn, profanities, drinking (characters are in college), suggestive themes but no nsfw.

taglist. (open, reply or send an ask to be added) — @beriiov @alatusorrow @br0oke96 @ohmyfinggod @itzblazekun @featuredtofu @sketcheeee @lazy-sanns @sakurapeach @sheraffim @vxmp-loml @sukunasrealgf @sleepning

masterpost ★ masterlist © bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

[gadgetcopter]

"never trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm" nooo its true and i need to be killed. neowww

[larakb117]

LONDON ADVENTURE

Joseph Quinn & female y/n

Summary: You and Joe meet Jamie in New York…

Content Warning: rpf, drinking (don’t worry, Jamie is okay with it!)

Part 13

When you came out of the bathroom, Joe sat in the middle of the bed, still completely naked and obviously waiting for you to come back and lay between his legs, your back to his tummy. His happy trail tickled your lower back. “I think I will text Jen, just to let her know I’m good.” You tapped on your phone revealing the lock screen, which showed the time and date. “Oh love, we met a week ago!”, Joe gasped. “Yeah, we did.” “Best week of my life.”, Joe laid his arms around you even more tight than before. “Joe, don’t exaggerate.”, you looked at him with a straight face. “I don´t.”, he had a sudden serious facial expression. “Joe.”, a wave of self-doubt caught you right by your feet and threw you face forward on the ground. He could not be serious, he just could not be serious. Why would a person like him be attracted to a person like you. You moved away from him and grabbed the blanket to cover you up a bit. These moments came all of a sudden, self-doubt was a big part of your life. The fact that no men had shown the slightest interest in you did not make it better. You always asked yourself what was wrong with you, if you didn’t deserve love. And now it happened again. “What is going on love?”, Joe looked kind of scared. You tried to avoid his gaze. “I´m… I… I´m just….” Y/n! Stop!”, Joe grabbed your wrists and looked you deep in the eyes, he focused so much, that you could not escape his stare. Now Joe could see the tears in your eyes. “I know what is going on. Love, trust me. I´m not joking, you are the best thing that happened to me in a very long time. I love you. I told you yesterday and I´m going to tell you tomorrow, in a week, and in five years. I can´t describe how much you mean to me, how you make me feel. I never felt like this before. I understand that you are sceptical. The things you told me about you, it makes sense to me, but you have to believe me: You are an amazing human, you are beautiful, you are sexy and hot. You are a great story teller, I love how passionate you are about things you love. And that’s just what I can say about you after 7 days of knowing!” You were shocked. “I´m sorry.” That’s everything you were able to say. “Why are you sorry now?”, Joe chuckled. “I don’t know.” “Y/n.” “Thank you.” “For what?” “For blowing my doubts away instantly.” “I love you.” “I love you too.”

You woke up the next morning, Joe wasn’t there with you. On your nightstand you found a little message written on a piece of paper: “Doing press all day, I let you know when I´m done. Enjoy NYC, my love!” It was 9:30 am, the sunlight streamed into the room. You jumped into the shower, washed your hair and got ready to explore some more of New York City. Most of the day you spend in Brooklyn. You started your day trip at Coney Island, took the subway back to the Northern part of Brooklyn and visited the Green Wood Cemetery, the largest one in NYC and ended up in the heart of Dumbo. The last thing you did before returning to the hotel was crossing the Brooklyn Bridge back to Manhattan which was breath-taking, probably one of the best things you had done during that trip. It was already 7 pm when Joe called you, you were on your way from the subway station to the hotel. “Love, I cant believe it!”, he giggled into the phone uncontrollably. “What is going on?”, you loved his laughs and giggles, you just had to join him. “One of my best friends is in New York right now! Can we meet him later?” His question sounded a little bit like begging. “Joe, of course we can! Remember what I said about Gaten?” “Okay, love! Can you come to the Brandy Library, like right now? He´s there!” Joe sounded so excited, which made you excited as well, because damn, this person must mean a lot to him. “Yeah, I get there right now, I´ll text you when I´ll be there.” “Love you!”, cartwheels in your stomach. You googled the way and texted Joe that the way would take about 30 minutes with the subway. You turned around to go back to station and arrived at the bar at around 7:35 pm.

Joe stood in front of the building and greeted you with a tight hug and a loving kiss. “I missed you, y/n.” “You hugged him back trying to pull him closer, but it was simply impossible. Joe was so nervous, he made mini jumps when he loosened your hug and took your hand rapidly to pull you into the bar. He took a look around and when he saw who he was searching for he squeezed your hand even more than he had did before and walked up to the table in a fast speed. On the table there sat a thin man, with shoulder long and ash blonde hair, dressed all in black. He stood up and threw himself at Joe with a big smile, they tightly hugged, like you had did with Joe just a few seconds prior. They clapped each other on their backs, kissed their cheeks and couldn’t stop the chuckles. What was going on? Out of a sudden, Joe interrupted the cuddles and turned to you. “Jamie, that’s y/n.” Jamie gave you his hand and smiled politely, as if you hadn’t experienced that moment which had gone on with Joe. “I´m Jamie, hi. Heard a lot about you.” He was British. You knew him. “Hi, pleasure to meet you.”, you smiled too. Jamie waved his hand to show you both to sit down with him. Joe took your hand right away when you placed it on the table. Jamie looked at you and created a face expression which probably should tell Joe and you that he was happy for you. “Joe, finally!”, he said. “Yes, Jamie, finally!!!” They burst into laughter.

“Let me get us something to drink, I invite you! What do you want?” “Oh, I don’t know. What do you get?” “Probably just some water, I don’t know why I chose this place, they basically don’t have anything else.” You looked through the menu: “Well, Brandy must be good at a Brandy Library Bar.” “Jamie doesn’t drink, love.” “Oh, I´m sorry. Is it okay if I get something alcoholic?” You made a side eye to Joe, who thought back to your date at Sky Garden just like you did. Joe smiled. “Yes, I´m sober for 9 years now, I can deal with alcohol near me.”

You ordered your drinks which came really fast to your table. Joe and Jamie started to chat a bit, why they were in New York right now, how Jamies girlfriend Jess was and some more stuff. “So what do you think about Joe, y/n.” That was a surprising and direct question. “Eeehm.”, you could feel the heat rising in your head, your cheeks blushing. “He´s the best.” Joe pressed your hand a little tighter. “I had the best week of my life with him, not because he took me to New York. Just…” You looked at Joe, he looked at you. “A week? When you told me about her earlier on the phone I could have sworn you know her for at least half a year.”, Jamie chuckled. You still looked at each other, with pure love in your eyes, both of you.

“Oh, damn, Joe, you´re in love.” That teared you out of that little moment between you and Joe. “Yes, I am, pretty madly.”, Joe said to Jamie. “That’s great, I´m happy for you.”, he truly meant that. “So, y/n. You love him too?” “Yes, I really do.” “Did you know him before?” “Yes, to be honest. Heard of him before, but couldn’t figure out from where. It was more his name, than his face.” “Stranger Things?” “Yes.” “So you know me too.” “I think so. You were in Stranger Things too?” Joe interrupted your chat: “He´s Vecna. You should definitely recognize him, they basically have the same face.” Jamie laughed, it was a loud and heart warming laugh like Joe had. “Oh yeah. I did not have to sit in make up for 7 hours to get that face, it was all natural!” Joe burst into laughter.

You loved him even more like this, he seemed really happy. “Oh, Jamie, I missed you so fucking much. How long have we not met now, like at least half a year.” “Well, Mr. Quinn, Man of the year 2022, you´re kind of busy!” “But I don’t understand why we don’t get booked for the same conventions anymore.” “I don’t know, sucks, really, sucks. Give the people what they want I’d say!” “Where are you from, Jamie?” “London, like Joe, that bonds.” “But why can´t you meet some time in London?” Joe explained: “So Jamie´s working in the states a lot, the only times he was in London in the past few months, I was in the states at that time.

“Oh.” , realising that you probably had to go through this at one point in your relationship as well. “But it’s the same every time we meet. It´s like we see each other every day.”, Joe says. “Yeah, we keep in touch over our phones too. But it’s not the same.” Yes, its not the same. How would being intimate look like in a long-distance relationship. Not just the sex, but the cuddles, the kisses, the hugs… Joes love language was physical touch. Would he miss it and fall out of love with you? Again, anxiety creeped up in your stomach, creating a knot in your throat. Joe noticed your nervous face expression and squeezed your knee under the table.

You weren’t able to follow most of the conversation, Joe and Jamie wallowed in memories: the stranger things promo in Brazil, spending time in Tokyo together, and some conventions they did together, but also, some more private stuff, Jamie talked a lot about his relationship. After some drinks and finger food, you three left the bar and said goodbye in front of it on the sidewalk. “It was lovely to meet you, y/n.”, he smiled at you with a wide grin and hugged Joseph. Jamie whispered into his ear, Joe had to chuckle loudly. “Oh, shut the fuck up.”, Joe said while laughing. Jamie left with a taxi and waved out of the car window. “Should we go for a walk, love?” “Yes.”, you replied. He grabbed your hand and started walking. “What did he just say to you, Joe?” Joe grinned again: “I´m sorry, I can´t tell you.”

To be continued…

taglist: @eviethetheatrefreak @keirasreplies

[cape-wearing-enigma]

my “never trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm” is “never trust how you feel about your life BEFORE 9 pm.” i’m always sitting and brooding and moping for the whole afternoon and then between the hours of like. 10 pm to 3 am i am alive and rejuvenated and enchanted by the magic of life and ready to start party rocking. it always happens.

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

Nothing says "don't trust how you feel about life after 9 pm" like being on the verge of crying yourself to sleep over discontinued yarn (because that's at least not retreading old ground about apologies you'll never get, which is about 60% of what actually put you in this mood)

It's a test project that's a stepping stone to a bigger one. I wanna make a ten stitch twist blanket that's fuzzy yarn on one side and that ridiculous fishnet ruffle yarn on the other.

These, specifically. It's a project I've wanted to get started on for easily 5 years.

It took me two days to figure out how to attach the ruffle to the core yarn. initially thought of double knitting them together, but that doesn't actually attach the way I want and it was really easy to get them tangled. Pivoted to trying the "add scales while knitting to create a dragon scale look" technique and that worked beautifully.

Got me a cool fidget out of the concept swatch too

Now I'm just practicing it until I'm comfortable with it.

Enter The Problem.

I do not have enough of the ruffle yarn to finish the rainbow scarf I was very excited about. First project I've made specifically for myself (rather than someone else or to keep my hands busy, another thing my brain likes to retread) in also easily 5 years, and I've hit a mental roadblock

The ruffles there are the Red Heart Boutique Sashay Sequin in Champagne. This color wasn't popular enough to keep being made, but still popular enough that I've found like 3 skeins for sale, all in separate shops online, each for like $12 a pop with shipping.

I do not have $36 dollars laying around and will not be able to scrape it together before someone else inevitably buys them. Because that's just. idk. What I deserve or something.

I'm gonna go sleep this mood off.