#never have loved at all
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#yall can call me a pessimist all u want but#if i had to choose between:#loved and lost#or#never have loved at all#id choose the latter#bc (and i saw a comment online about this that reallyyyy resonated w me) the amount of time that we grieve can be much longer#and v painful#compared to the time that we've loved someone#and idk abt yall but even while people around me are still alive and healthy im out here “pre-grieving” a life without them#like its a lose lose situation to me#maybe there are other things yall should know my opinions on that would help this make sense LOOOOL but idk i just will always feel like#loving and existing is so painful#TO BE LOVED IS TO BE CHANGED#no im not crying#mehrtalks
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UY! PHILIPPINES!!!! PHILIPPINES!!!!
#hatsune miku#kasane teto#vocaloid#miku hatsune#cloudy draws#my art#art#fanart#digital art#vocaloid fanart#vocaloid art#miku#ty brazilian miku artists for inspiring me i loved doing this#however it is half assed i have building due tomorrow#but this was good stress relief i thank you miku#swagapino miku we love you they will never make me hate you#miku is national been loving all the art ive been seeing recently
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enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to
#txt#put your energy where it'll make a difference#i have not and will never be silent about sperling but they are not the smallest in my library#it might be Dachs - which is swiss!#and i love that for me because i understand fuck all it's all just vibes to me#and the vibes are great#muted post
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god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers
#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit#i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa#we're like all basically penpals but better#im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met#and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses#can you imagine that#every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there#insane#i love having friends
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to lose you
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#im insane im crazy i have to end it all i saw a singular dialogue in sonadow gens that made me go so fucking crazy dude im in tears#i dont subscribe to the sonic as reincarnated maria theory but how beautiful is it that shadow always had somebody in his life#that loves the earth more than anything else#somebody who wants him to see its beauty no matter what#that will never give up on him#he has never been without that#despite all his pain#sonic x shadow generations#sxs generations#shadow#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic art#sonic fandom#sonic series#shadow fanart#sonic the hedgehog fanart#art of crane
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!
#humans are good actually#humans are strange#hopecore#honey prose#respectfully do not fill my mentions w Christianity references this is NOT a capital G god friendly post#fuck the concept of original sin and also Thomas Hobbes#also for all the vet ppl in the tags saying don’t take a wild animal to the vet pls refer to ‘just so it doesn’t suffer’ IM A VET TECH.#THERE IS ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DO FOR A SMALL WILD ANIMAL THAT IS INJURED .#I’m talking about humane euthanasia for a creature that is clearly suffering when there’s no wildlife conservation for 60+ miles#I’ve actually never had a client that didn’t call to ask to bring it in that didn’t already know and understand euthanasia was all we’d be#able to do.#that’s the kindness part. that’s the love. ‘I can’t do anything except make sure you don’t suffer any longer than u already have since some#asshole ran over your back legs’
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.
like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been
#like you get why all the fics about those two are insane right. the narrative is just so goddamn compelling#and thats not even getting into the whole thing abt the serum curing steve of every ailment except his love for bucky#which makes him realize it was never an ailment to begin with (despite the commonly held beliefs about homosexuality in the 1940s)#and bucky being *electroshocked* again and again into forgetting steve#like howd you make your gay ass movie that gay and not realize it. its kinda impressive#sorry for the ridiculous stucky retrospective its 4am and i rewatched the winter soldier recently#its not that deep. its not its not its not . but if it was anything other than what it is it could have been. and thats the worst part#shut up riley#marvel#stucky
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#utdr#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#art#twin runes#twin runes comic#kris dreemurr#frisk#chara#ralsei#aaaaah chara is slowly figuring out what they are#are you onto it too?#but I'm with susie let's get on with the story already!#for those who haven't picked up on it#this comic and the last one are poking fun at the whole “what does the red soul represent” debate in the fandom#especially under the last comic i've seen people viciously arguing with one another on other platforms#or people from both camps yelling at me#fact is we know that every human soul has determination due to the log entries in the true lab and the amalgamates#some humans just can have more and others less of it#that is what chara is pointing out about kris specifically#they have a red soul but less determination than most humans#the comic ends on a non-answer because unless we get toby's word on it we will never know what it is#and that is kinda a toby fox move#we will never get his answer#all we can do is theorize#personally I like to think it's love#especially in the context of this comic series
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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Well, I guess you didn't have much of a choice either
#sooooo fucked up being a teenage boy just messing around with friends one day#and the next weird monsters are after you#and suspicious guys youve never met before start telling you you shouldnt even exist#and even the gentle girl who seems to know SO much that you met#says you have to disappear#all for the sake of this one boy youve never heard of#who apparently everyone loves and wants back#even if it means essentially killing someone else(you)#and youre expected to just. follow along and sacrifice yourself for him#even though you are also a real perosn with real friends (or so you believe)#and at the end you do it#because youre tired and confused#and part of you feels like it should do it#that its the right thing to do#even though you still dont know anything bc no one will tell you#except for the girl but everyone always goes out of their way to stop her#anyway im rambling the kh2 prolouge is so fucked up when u think about it#roxas#sora#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts 2#kh#kh2#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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Do You Love The Color Of The 413?
#HOMESTUCK#413#HOMESTUCK 413#john egbert#dave strider#rose lalonde#jade harley#vriska#kanaya#terezi#karkat#HAPPY 413 YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!#THIS TOOK ME 4 DAYS PLEASE LOVE IT#AHHHHHHH IVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING THIS BIG BEFORE#IT'S NOT AS FINISHED AS ID LIKE- LIKE I USED A LOT OF JUST MULTIPLICITY LAYERS FOR SHADING BUT#I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LMAO#ALSO IM PRETTY SURE TUMBLR WILL EAT THE QUALITY SO PLEASE CLICK TO ZOOM LOL#ART#MY ART#heavens. i dont know if i should tag all the characters?#ill only tag the bigger characters i guess#since so many are in there#it's supposed to be transparent and not black#but apparently tumblr will turn transparency white if the photo is too large#fucking great
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Hug
It's nearly impossible to have a quiet and peaceful day with the crew, like the strawhats. Nami is mostly used to the noise on Going Merry but one day she gets fed up with Zoro and Sanji arguing. Not only are they extremely loud, but they've also already broken way too many things during their fights.
She decides that If they want to act like brats, then she's going to treat them as such. So she makes them apologize and hug each other in silence for an hour. None of them are happy about this punishment, but Nami threatened to raise Zoro's debt, and Sanji couldn't say no to her. It could be worse.
It's awkward enough for them to not incite any fight for a long time and Nami is quite proud of herself. She knows it won't last forever but at least now she knows how to handle them. It inevitably happens again. And again. And again.
Much to her surprise, those fights became more and more frequent. And what's even weirder is that she could see the way both Zoro and Sanji occasionally glanced at her to make sure she was nearby. It's almost as if they wanted someone to make them hug each other. As if they needed an excuse.... these idiots.
Soon, they don't even need Nami's help. When they aren't busy training, cooking or fighting, they cuddle together. Sometimes Luffy or Chopper would join them, but most of the crew knew it was their time.
After two years spent separately, they became extremely clingy. It's no surprise when they start sleeping in the same bed. What is surprising is that despite them behaving like a lovey-dovey couple, those oblivious idiots are STILL unaware of each other's feelings.
#It's almost 3 am and I'm a little tired#I really hope that what I wrote here is somewhat coherent#It's another idea that's been stuck in my head#I wanted to make a comic about this but I never have the time#so for now all I can give you are these notes and a quick sketch#and as always if there's already a fic like that please let me know I would love to check it out#sanji x zoro#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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