#nerve wracking at the end
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2024 US GP | x
#autumn posts#max verstappen#carlos sainz#2024 us gp#this cute moment omg ���️💙😭✨#a Carlos Max podium!! and so happy for Charles!!!!#my heart aches for Lewis gosh..#but next weekend will be better 🔥#I was so worried for Carlos at the start with the fuel smell??? so glad that was fixable#nerve wracking at the end#but I'm happy for Charles Max and Carlos ❤️❤️💙✨
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Official art Nalu vs manga/anime Nalu is so different you would think mashima is actually a horny fan drawing fanart of their OTP
Like
What do you mean this is official
Uuuh???
These just look like the fanbase most popular headcanons come on…
BFFR
#the NERVE of not being canon#just kiss already#I know Nalu won’t become canon till the very end but#this is nerve wracking#when I catch you Mashima#nalu#fairy tail#lucy heartfilia#natsu dragneel#fairy tail nalu#natsu x lucy
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Miles: can’t believe i’m reinforcing harmful stereotypes about gay people by wanting to be the “girl” in Ganke and I’s relationship 😢😭 i’m such an awful person!!!
Miles, 8 months later: 😲💡
#world’s most unnecessarily nerve wracking and world-ending egg cracking#transfem miles#miles morales#milesganke#spiderman#spider man#was originally gonna make this multiship but i don’t feel like it#everyone else gets so much stuff already im gatekeeping ganke for today#m&m posts
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Delusions (Patreon)
"Could I have your hand, sir?" Max didn't move, which Dexter was, sadly, getting used to.
"Sir?" Max jerked, then turned and stared at him, lost and blank. "Your hand, please."
Max's hand lifted shakily, and he laid it gently in Dexter's upturned palm. Dexter gave a quick and quiet "thank you," then turned it over in his own hand, observing him closely.
Too closely - his knuckles were rough and his fingernails were dull and cracked in places. His once-soft, not-a-day-in-his-life-subjected-to-hard-labour hands were now, already, toughened and split and scarred in places, especially the heel of his palm. He turned it over again, this time to stop looking so intensely. He had only wanted to give it a cursory glance to begin with.
"Do you know what I see, sir?" he asked as conversationally as he could manage, running his fingers along Max's abused flesh. He seemed to be at least half paying attention, his eye gazing down between them, and he'd occasionally twitch, encouragingly Dexter thought. He seemed to want to curl around him, then stopped and shook, his hand squeezing into a fist. Dexter coaxed him back out, encouraged him to hold himself lightly.
"What do you see?" He was almost startled by Max actually continuing their conversation, that happened so rarely now, shaking and quiet as it was. He took a deep breath, was he really going to do this?
"I see a hand, with five fingers." Max remained quiet, though his brow curled, and a guarded look came into his eye, though he still wasn't looking at Dexter. He felt a pang of guilt, but he had to try. "What do you see?"
Max's eye unfocused and began to water. He looked up, but not enough to reach Dexter's gaze in return, instead staring through his chest, and he felt just as hollow and empty as he must look to him.
"Do you take me for a fool, DAX?" Quiet and as close to angry as he'd heard since they'd been here.
No, not angry.
Betrayed.
He swallowed down the stinging lump at the back of his throat. He had to put on a brave face, had to keep his composure if he wanted Max to get better. That was the only thing he wanted, more than anything.
"Of course not, sir. Genuinely, what do you see?"
Max pulled his hand away and turned his body, his bandaged side facing Dexter. Shutting him out, pointedly. Dexter's empty hand curled into a fist, he was no better.
"Please, don't..." Max took a shallow, shuddering breath, and several beats before he spoke again, even quieter. "Don't ridicule me." Dexter could hear his breath catch, and he wanted nothing more than for this all to just stop.
"Sir, I didn't-"
"I've had enough of that." He shook his head stiffly, the action strange and wrong, like he had forgotten how. He stilled, his head turned even further away. "More than enough."
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#And a drabble-fic under the cut#I ended up writing that the night after I read - I was a bit too inspired while busy so it's a little on the unfocused side haha#I would've cleaned it but I worry it wouldn't make it out of that stage! Please enjoy it for now <3#This set is mostly periphery ideas - inspired by events rather than directly shown ♪ I suppose the first two kinda count tho#But they're more directly of the little scene I wrote ouò Poor ZEX </3#And Dex! He's usually so capable! But he's stretching himself so thin ahh it's hard to watch in the best way#Of course he doesn't want to give ''Max'' over to just anyone - anyone at all really - both of their trusts have bottomed out#But how much could he reasonably care for him in that state? When he's still being actively haunted and most importantly - Not Max#He needs helps he needs support he needs to sleep and shower but a second with his eyes off Max and - then what? He'll immolate from fear#It's hard to imagine him crying but pushed to this extreme? To the thought of losing Max utterly and completely? Hhhhh#I do also just love him being possessive even outside of how terrible the situation is - he's always had his glimpses but this situation#Brings out the worst in him <3 In terrible ways#Really his method is just setting ''Max'' up nearby and prompting him over the sound of the shower like that's not nerve-wracking at all#Like he already doesn't answer half the time if that#As for the mini fic I was really interested in Dex's line about indulging ''Max's'' delusions#Apart from the fact that they're not delusions - not that anyone believes him outside of the Institute - what it means to indulge is weird#I saw one example of how to handle delusions that stuck with me - how not to deny them outright while also not reinforcing them#Since it's not actually helpful to be told ''That isn't Really happening to you'' when to you - to ZEX - it really is! How invalidating#And so rather to take the approach of ''I don't see/feel/hear what you are - I can't find any evidence of it myself'' and extrapolating#Dex taking the approach of ''What reality are you experiencing right now?'' and trying to build from there!#Unfortunately ZEX has already been treated like....well like all that - he's not in the mood for games even well-intentioned ones#He /knows/ he's in a human body. He can feel that and see that and understands that. It doesn't change who - what he /is/#The idea of a completely broken ZEX is so sad to me :( He's so strong and prideful and vivacious - Max really is another him </3#It's not the same but he was saved from death! To fall into torture... But even despite that I want to see him succeed! As much as he can#Even in that small and shaking way I want to see him be hateful and spiteful - angry. Powerful <3 Fighting ♥
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sometimes i forget that i started this blog to be about philosophy. anyway i've already told all my group chats so here's one for the blog: just got off a video call w the admissions director at my tied-for-first-choice university and i cannot tell if he thinks i have a shot or if im too much of a loser for their very cool program.
he did give me the very good advice to email faculty i want to work with to introduce myself and get to know them and their work, so maybe that's indicative of . good rapport idk
off to write emails and hope professors deign to respond. please i want to keep doing epistemology. what does it matter
#blah blah blah#academia#the joke of the day is consider my nerves WRACKED#ive applied to 4 schools i should apply to more before the window closes in 3 weeks#i fuckin knew this would happen too that id start looking at schools and then not finish the apps until the day before#wish me luck nyall#is this where my academic journey ends? we will find out when they mail out decisions between feburary and april#and if not a phd then i need to invest in a career shift bc while i like my job. i want to be doing something more meaningful#insert line about how everything is meaningful everything matters. thesisposting etc. but what if i want to do something MORE impactful#than renting trumpets to middle schoolers and their families#im pretty sure that my undergrad gpa is going to like. be an automatic disqualification for all the programs#idk if any of you remember 6 years ago but i was Not doing well in undergrad#so im banking on a 'most improved' award when they see my graduate transcript is more than a whole point better#pwease trust me to do even better in the future mistew phd pwogwam pwease bewieve me#<tags that are the reason i do not attach my name face or work to this blog in case i am Located.#<also tags that are very clearly identifiable as mine own. paradoxical choice
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making the decision on who to back for Archon is...
ngl, it feels a little different now, from the way they perhaps intended when they were writing that quest
#squirrel plays datv#datv spoilers#oc: verbena mercar#i mean Ver backed Dorian regardless of my own biases in his favor#it was two for him one for mae and one abstaining; that's just numbers at that point#but he's also right; they've tried the slow and steady and morally unflappable and it failed spectacularly#so far only heretic and morally dubious upstarts; the inquisition and the veilguard; have gotten any sort of results in anything around#we've tried going high when they went low (nod to real life on that) and it landed us right here in the drink so...#yknow. idk maybe meeting them at their level IS the right call?#but good god him being archon is............. nerve-wrecking for so many other reasons#also at one point just now i had three quests in the cobbled swan so. that was nice lol#and neve was of zero help even because babygirl is apparently still wracked with doubts and stuff????#because we're ONE quest from the end of her storyline??????#girl come on at least YOU get dicked down on the reg; what's VER to say huh#yall are asking HER to decide all this and she hasn't even gotten her back blown out in probably months#the cheek the nerve the etc etc etc
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Comfyvember 1
Story: superhero siblings (original) Prompts: Breaking bad habits — New day — Train ride
“I'm hungry,” Grace announced.
“Just a minute,” Sophie sighed, plopping down into the seat next to her. “Let's wait until the train gets underway.”
“Yeah,” Jack said, sitting down across from her. Unlike his sisters, he hadn't taken off his backpack. He sat staring tensely out the window at the train station, eyes flicking over the early-morning passengers milling about, poised to run at a moment's notice. “In case we have to get out of here in a hurry.”
Sophie glanced around the drab compartment at her siblings, whose faces looked pale and wan in the sickly lights overhead. Grace's big grey eyes seemed to take up half her face as she clutched her stuffed cat and looked up plaintively at her older siblings. Rebecca slumped in the window seat opposite Grace, long brown hair disheveled from their recent escape. Her jaw was set, as if to keep her teeth from chattering, and she hugged herself tightly.
And Jack...he looked so old. Bags under his eyes, creases in his brow, worry radiating off him like heat. He shouldn't look like that, like Dad did before everything went wrong, like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Sophie wondered what she looked like.
With a jolt, the train began to move, sliding away from the platform. As one, all four let out a breath of relief.
And immediately tensed as they heard a voice steadily approaching, calling down the corridor, “Tickets! Tickets, please!”
Sophie's eyes locked with Jack's across the compartment. Suddenly their plan of getting on the train and hopping off at the next city before anyone realized they didn't have tickets seemed as flimsy as Jack's initial suggestion that they hitchhike all the way to Missouri.
They listened to the ticket man opening the compartment behind Sophie, the rumble of his voice as he exchanged pleasantries with the passengers, the thump of his feet on the carpet outside...a pause, and then a brisk knock at the next compartment behind Jack, and more rumbling voices as he took the tickets from the people on the other side.
Sophie sat frozen, still staring into her brother's eyes as their mirrored expressions of tension faded into confusion. It was like the ticket man had...forgotten them. Or that he got confused and thought he'd already checked their tickets.
Narrowing her eyes with suspicion, Sophie looked at Rebecca, whose expression was oddly smug for someone who'd been terrified a moment before. “Rebecca!” she said sharply.
Rebecca held up her hands defensively, as if to say don't look at me! Tellingly, though, she didn't speak a word.
But Jack grinned, all the tension seeping out of his shoulders instantly. “That was you? Atta girl!”
They high-fived, but Sophie crossed her arms and snapped, “Don't encourage her! Or she'll never break her bad habit!”
“Bad habit?” Jack snorted. “Of what, saving our hides?”
Sophie glanced at the window to the corridor, even though she knew no one could hear, and lowered her voice to a hiss. “Of using telepathy when we know Dr. Clementine has machines that can sense it!”
Rebecca, still unable to talk in the wake of using her powers, waved her hands to get their attention and then pointed out the window meaningfully. The train had already picked up speed, and tall buildings and streetlights flitted past, growing more and more spaced out by the minute. Soon, they would be out of the city limits—and hopefully out of Dr. Clementine's grasp.
“I'm hungry,” Grace reminded them.
“Right. Sorry.” Sophie glanced at Rebecca, including her in the apology.
Bending down, she opened her backpack and looked at the rather paltry supplies she'd managed to grab from the kitchen on their way out. “Well, I've got crackers and peanut butter...no knife, though.”
“That's fine,” Jack said, holding out his hand to accept the jar of peanut butter so he could open it. “We don't really have an easy way to wash one anyway.”
Sophie carefully divided up one sleeve of crackers into four portions and handed them out. Jack passed the jar over to Grace first, and she scooped out a generous portion of peanut butter onto her cracker before passing it on to Rebecca. She looked up imploringly at Sophie again. “Read to us?”
Setting aside the cracker sleeve with her meager portion, Sophie reached over to dig around in Grace's backpack for the one book she'd allowed her to bring (well, seven books in one, but who was counting?). The only book from their old home that they'd hung onto despite Dr. Clementine's assurances he could buy them as many books as they wanted, and all in first editions. And Sophie was glad of that now, since he never had taken them to the fancy bookstore like he'd promised.
Pulling the bookmark out and tucking it behind her ear, Sophie began to read as she'd been doing every night. “At first Shasta could see nothing in the valley below him but a sea of mist with a few domes and pinnacles rising from it....”
And so, as the sun slowly rose in the sky and the buildings of the city gradually faded away into rolling hills, the four siblings passed around the peanut butter jar and listened to a tale of far-off lands and talking animals, a world far away from the dangers looming ahead of them. At least for a few minutes, they could believe they were also headed for a home that would welcome them.
#comfy-vember 2024#superhero siblings story#jack#sophie#rebecca#grace#it's only day one and i'm already beginning to see how challenging this is going to be on two fronts:#1) i have no idea how to write angst-free comfort#2) it is virtually impossible for me to keep the ideas i have to just one page (this ended up being a page and a half)#also in writing this i realized i've never really decided WHERE exactly i want this story to happen#probably best if i keep it vague anyway#this is my first time writing these characters and it's both exciting and kind of nerve-wracking!#hopefully in future snippets for comfyvember i'll be able to showcase the other three's powers too
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You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal
#messages from knave#i keep having these ongoing dreams about an alternate reality version of my life#mainly about my parents#like right after i lost my job i had a dream that they'd moved to another state on a whim#and just told me to either upend my entire life to move to florida with them or figure it out#and i ended up moving into a much shittier apartment before realizing 'wait i have a whole house' and moving back into my own house in NJ#and then last night i dreamed I'd visited them and spent a day with my nephews then we all went to a wrestling match#and then after almost being run over by my dad cause he started driving while i was getting into the car#we go back to their house and i take a fat nap only to wake up in the dream and discover that I've disturbed this thumbelina sized toddler#that my mom jad apparentky adopted and then completely forgot about. and we wtruggled to getbit comfortable again on its little ved#then it escaped as toddlers do and i went through a comedy of errors trying to find it only to find it seemingly plastic and lifeless#only for it to start going through rapid metamorphosis into an adult and running around my parents house#my dad and i tried to stop it from growing up becuase every transformation opened up a new pocket dimension or something#then the dream changed into something else as my brain slowly booted back up from a migraine back into reality and i woke up#but the visage of a polly pocket sized toddler being left behind in my adult sized bed really shook me for some reason#it was so small and it was on a teeny pink pillow and it had a little purple teddy it kept dropping#but now I'm thinking of the logitstics of actually raising a child you could step on and squash by accident#that must be nerve wracking like how did thumbelina make it to adulthood without being confibed to a single room or even a single table#cause my first instinct is to build a diarama on a table for them and never let them leave until they're old enough to dodge
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B&R is legit one of my favorite stories, I love the characters, their diversity and depth to the characters. I get so gitty when I see the episode notification and I get to see my favorite mortal and demon! I want to never not see them but I also can't wait to see what you have planned for the end, I am on the edge of my seat every episode!
YOU'RE TOO SWEET, THANK YOU!!
#Mei responds#oogh I am hoping I can write a satisfying ending...! It's technically planned but the execution is nerve wracking
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I put in my transfer and stepdown request today. Three more weeks of full time and train commutes...
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a car cut me off by illegally driving on the shoulder and then passed another car illegally crossing the double yellow lines and still got stuck at the same red light as the rest of us 💀
#i almost feel bad cause i ended up driving the same way as them#and despite them speeding we actually both got caught by a second red light#then they got stuck at a stop sign at a main road and had to wait forever#and had to take the same left turn across the main road as me#so when i ended up on the same side street#they pulled over (sans blinker) cause i think they thought i was following them#it was two teens looking nervous as hell#like maybe your nerves wouldn’t be so wracked if you weren’t driving like assholes#they immediately started driving again once i passed them too like#pls
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if y’all ended up on one of those youtube speed dating shows with your f/os, which one do you think you’d end up with?
#venus talks#first impressions are different than truly getting to know somebody yknow#meeting people for the first time—especially hot people—is so exciting#and nerve wracking#speed dating doesn’t let you form a well rounded opinion of someone#you’re kinda just going based off vibes n their ability to make themselves look good#personally i think i’d end up with kazutora if we were going based off first impressions#and i would think kakucho hates me (he’s stoic bc he’s nervous)#shuji and koko would intimidate me#and it would be tough between mitsuya and tora but#ultimately i think i’d be really charmed by tora’s energy!#so ya#TELL ME WHAT YALL THINK WITH YOURS!!
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Ugh, it's been a fucking week. My dog had surgery Tuesday and work is starting me on a massive project, so I've basically been ignoring my drafts and half my DMs. My pup is doing better thankfully so I'm hoping to tackle some over the next few days when I'm not working. Failing that, I'm hoping to at least throw Ikkaku into a few people's inboxes to keep her active/relevant. Let me know if you want anything specific from her or if we have a few threads together if there's one you want me to focus on. Meanwhile, I'm going to shower and try not to get buried in stress and negative feelings and whatnot.
#Time for Maintenance (OOC)#negative cw#(my dog's surgery ended up not being as extensive as originally thought but it was still nerve-wracking)#(and work is definitely going to be on the intense side for the next twelve weeks)#(sometimes I consider taking a hiatus but I'm terrified that if I'm not active that I'll be forgotten or replaced)
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I GOT A CALLBACK
#however it is for a wildly different character than the one(s) i was going for which is. not necessarily a bad thing i am intrigued by this#character and think they’d be very fun to play. but i also think there will be ppl much much better suited to them ergo i probably won’t get#a/the role#personal#the music chronicles#still going to go though this is so exciting… nerve-wracking too tho they’re much harder than the character(s) i auditioned for#or well. going to try to go i have band for half the time slot of the callbacks but i don’t think they need me there the whole time im#guessing they’ll call us in there individually like for auditions so i can probably just do my callback toward the end of the slot#obviously going to check though
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I maybe potentially (most likely) have covid but my job is being so fucking cagey about if I’m going to be on the receiving end of disciplinary action for not coming in because of it. I have multiple symptoms of it and was in close contact for an extended period of time with two people who have tested positive for it. I went to get an official test from an urgent care place (because I was told I need proof for my job), and was told it would be up to 48 hours until I get results and until then I needed to self isolate and then obviously continue if the test is positive. They wrote me a note saying to excuse me from my job which I emailed to them. But they keep emailing me like “well the cdc says isolation is no longer necessary so…. If you don’t have a fever you’re supposed to come in” and now I’m so paranoid that I’m going to get write ups for not coming in despite having a literal doctor’s note telling me not to because all covid protections have been so thoroughly axed and it’s treated like any “normal” illness (though this shouldn’t be okay for ANY illness, not just covid) and if you don’t have sick time (which most places don’t supply at all, or if they do, it’s a dismal amount) you have to come in or experience the consequences and I’m just 🙃🙃🙃 so anxious about it and also I fucking hate this country for putting MILLIONS of people in this position where they have to choose between not going work but risking being fired and losing their livelihoods which leads to SO many risks if you have no safety net (and most people don’t) OR going in because you just don’t have a choice but you’re miserable and actively spreading highly infectious diseases to multiple other people. I truly don’t understand how there are people who look at this system and act like it’s fine
#I’m lucky enough that my job won’t straight up fire me#I’ll likely get a write up I think but I’ve never had one before and we’re so chronically understaffed that I won’t be fired#it’s still nerve wracking though…#and I know most people don’t even have THAT much of a safety net#I just straight up don’t understand how jobs can straight up be like ‘we don’t care that you have a doctor’s note come in anyways or we’re#writing you up’ like how is that fucking legal#because it’s America and all we care about is profit and controlling everything about a person’s life I know that#but still#not to mention the classism of the fact that most ppl can’t even get doctor’s notes anyways#that in of itself is a privilege#but Jesus fucking Christ#like I’m not going in tomorrow cuz I’m waiting on test results and healthcare professionals have told me to isolate#but the fact that I’m in this position at all is insidious#jobs should just be like ‘okay! got it! see you when the isolation period is over and/or you’ve been cleared by a doctor’#the fact that it’s ANY other response is deeply evil imo#never mind my health like I’ll be fine I’m a mostly healthy person#but everyone I could potentially infect that could then experience LIFE ALTERING or maybe even ending consequences????#I know it’s been said before but the flippant disregard for human life is so….#like I said I genuinely think it’s cartoonishly evil that it works this way#and if you try and argue against it or point out it shouldn’t be this way you’re just some crazy lazy commie or whatever#lord#kaz rambles
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god i really do not get davejade at ALL like clearly jade is attracted to dave on some level bc she dated davesprite but i did not read any of her interactions w davedave as romantic.
i also see her relationship w davesprite as a kid relationship where they like each other on some level but can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic affectuon bc they don’t have enough experience. i also fee that davesprite broke up w her bc he realized this and he communicated ineffectively bc he was an emotionally avoidant kid.
also davedave doesnt seem to express any attraction to her… obviously he expresses love for her but that was extremely best friend energy to me
idk it just annoys me when characters are friends and they have actually well written platonic chemistry with each other and well written romantic chemistry with other characters AUGH
its not like i think theres anything morally wrong w shipping them i just hrrghgh i feel like its a case of a guy and a girl being friends and it being read as romantic by default -_-
he just so clearly has feelings for karkat and i dont see him having feelings for jade, i get bothered in the same way by karpeta. karkat shows no attraction to nepeta its a one sided crush i just dont get shipping characters when theres no evidence of mutual attraction :///
THEY ARE MORAILS ♦️♦️♦️♦️ i love their friendship its so cute
no hate to davejade shippers pls don’t try to argue w me on this you won’t change my mind.
agree to disagree etc etc you can ship whatever you want i just don’t get it and like complaining >_< none of my friends like homestuck so i must shout and hope my 11 followers dont find it too annoying
#bluhhh#this ended up long#word vomit stream of consciousness#homestuck#talkies#expressing opinions on tumblr… mildy nerve wracking#but im brave enough to face the fear
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