#negative autism rant

[autistic-cry-baby]

seeing him even a little upset puts me in an episode every time.

the fucking sunshine fucking sad and i can't fucking comfort him

then i'll remember him crying while i listen to deep end or unfair (why do i do that to myself-)

bpd is the worst feeling ever.

FELIX — UNFAIR

[thatonegaybrit]

; I know it's talked about but genuinely it's not talked about enough how difficult ( difficult ) it is being autistic. And it's not even just because I have autism, sometimes it's from Third Party People Being Ableist™ and making my life 20x harder than it was previously.

; and I'm sick and tired of people trying to be allies by denying that I'm autistic ?? Denying my struggles and saying " you're just a little funky !! " or " you're not different, you're the same as any other person <3 " because I'm not ( not ), I'm genuinely not like every other person. And wow are you going to be disappointed when you find out I actually can't function like you, I physically can not. I can't do most anything like a " normal " person and every day is a struggle because people want to see me as average, so they treat me as average and neurotypical and no different from them, but I am different. I do need things that others don't, I do need support even if I'm probably categorized as low support needs, I still have needs that the average person doesn't !! I'm Autistic !! I am different, I am not like the average person and it disables me. I do not resent being autistic, I do not want to be neurotypical. What I resent is how I'm treated because of it, how my struggles are either ignored or stigmatized. I resent not being able to function how others want me too, and therefore being labeled as a nuisance or a difficult case.

; I. Am. Autistic. And yk what ?? I'm not making it my whole personality, it is my whole personality !! It's my mother fucking brain, of course it's going to effect most every aspect of me and how I work ?? And so of course most things I talk about or most my experiences are going to " look autistic " or could be categorized as autism, because I'm autistic !! I'm a walking book of autistic traits so yeah, a lot of the ways I think and the things I do are gonna be related to autism, because I literally am autistic. Sorry if that bothers you ?? Like ?? Idk what people expect from me, I'm going to talk about it because it's kinda hard not to when everything I do or say is " affected " by it ?? :/

; anyways, happy disability pride month. Thanks for listening to my miniature rant

[sukibenders]

Looking back at Girl Meets World, it will forever irritate me especially for how they handled/treated Angela. Oh this show really hated black women because how do you not only 1.) describe her, one of (correct me if I'm wrong) only few black and MAIN characters of the og show, as a "concept" 2.) have characters show obvious disgust at the small mention of her name 3.) depict her as a homewrecker for a new relationship that, really, shouldn't have ever happened 4.) have her old friends treat her like dirt and her old lover like she is the root of his problems, when there was nothing but positive love there 5.) reuse all the concepts from said previous love story just to elevate the new ship with a yte woman and 6.) compare her to Hurricane Katrina, one of the deadliest hurricanes that caused significant numbers of death, harm, misplacement, and trauma to people, largely of whom were black? Mind you, all these points I mentioned were toward the only main black character of the OG show before the spinoff, and the only, from what I can remember, black female character of the spinoff who didn't even stay long. Not even getting into the racist drama with some of the members on set, but you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that the way the show handled Angela, her story, and her relationship with the other characters + Shawn wasn't fucking disrespectful, you can't because I won't believe you.

[transintellectualistic]

Being in the anti-rq & antiship portion of the MOGAI community honestly seems miserable and I’m glad I stopped looking through those tags.

Every post has some miles-long DNI list on it filled with the most innocuous shit like “Steven Universe defenders” and “uses the term f*mboy” next to actual neo-nazis as if they’re remotely comparable. And this is also supposed to serve as a magical ward for who can and can’t use a flag or a fucking term? I’m so sorry for my thought crime of identifying with a concept whilst also watching a children’s TV show you don’t like?

There’s definitely a “you must always be fully immersed in world events and aware of Problematic Content because otherwise you don’t really care about your fellow man” attitude there as well; when I used to lurk in MOGAI tags I would always feel my OCD spiralling because I’d see people reblog dozens of those guilt-tripping “you’re a BAD PERSON if you don’t reblog this” news/“awareness”/donation posts— which just feels really gross for a community that likes to tout itself as caring about neurodivergent people and survivors, because any person with even a sliver of knowledge about mental health knows that posts like that literally only work on pwOCD and cause us to spiral even when we agree with the message being conveyed!!!!!!!

It’s a shame as well because like, I fucking LOVE xenogenders and quote-on-quote “terminally online queer microlabels”. I have a Pinterest archive with thousands of terms and flags saved that I add to literally every day! But the second I step into the Tumblr coining scene I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over me. I feel bad for the people there who feel like they have to police their own thoughts and interests purely based on the fact that no other queer spaces will let them explore the intricacies of their gender and identity with such detail. I feel bad for the ND people who are constantly subjecting themselves to content that puts them in a state of constant vigilance and re-traumatising for the sake of being a Good Leftist.

I know there are a few people in these communities that read through rq tags and if you’re one of them seeing this I just want to let you know: you don’t have to stay in communities that hurt you because they’re the “only option”. You can distance yourself from them if you want to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and I promise there will be people who genuinely accept you and uplift your identity without any pretense of needing to be “moral enough” attached.

I hope you can find a space that will let you feel loved and cherished, wherever that is.

I love you.

[lilqu33rboi]

i will continue to say this until all of my fellow lsn autistics understand: we absolutely MUST focus on amplifying the voices of and supporting msn/hsn autistics! i will never stop following & reblogging posts from m/hsn autistics because some of us (lsn autistics) don't know how to get it together & realize that it isn't always about us! this doesn't mean i am trying to minimize our struggles or say that we don't have needs to be met because of course we do, but we also need to understand that just because we aren't in the spotlight 24/7 (which we are anyway when it comes to mainstream media but that's a topic for another day) doesn't mean that we get to overshadow m/hsn autistics who have needs that we shouldn't claim to understand because we aren't all the same. Just because we are all autistic doesn't mean that we can claim to understand the needs of someone who doesn't always share the same experiences as us.

[petiolata]

😒 is texting ur partner screenshots of your emails to check if they're appropriately worded bad "reassurance-seeking"?

Ive had a hard time wrapping my head around that concept as a maladaptive/harmful practice.

But like. I have zero faith in my ability to correctly communicate with human beings given how many unspoken rules and invisible pitfalls there are. And how often ND people are treated like they're evil incarnate for some (imo) harmless minor gaff.

It would be great if knowing your intentions are good actually let you have some confidence your interactions will be fine. But instead ppl are mean as hell to well-intentioned ND people so we get to walk on eggshells our whole lives, wondering what little unintentional mistake we'll be ripped into over.

Idk. Anyway.

[wanderingmind867]

Sometimes I get so stressed and agitated that I just want to rip the head off of anything and anyone who comes in contact with me. I'm feeling that anger skyrocket again (probably because of stress in my personal life), and I'm half tempted to take it out on a bunch of random targets. Mostly things that I have no actual clear understanding of, but which I have convinced myself to hate anyways. I'm an impulsive person, and I'm a person of great anger and stress. So don't be shocked if I just start making some rude posts bad-mouthing things to try and distract my brain from my real life stress. It's probably not a good coping mechanism, but it's the one i'm letting myself get away with today.

[heavenmercy]

I feel like people on the internet forget that Autism is a disorder and there's a difference between "normalizing" and "mockery".

... labeling Autism as "weird" and "not normal" is more ablest than anything. Just treat Autistic people as human, please.

[cumcov3redangel]

Yay! Lavender day on cumcov3redangel!

Yes! Today was lavender/purple day on cumcov3redangel’s blog! Tune in tomorrow for black day!

[mily-is-a-star]

Me when I open up to someone about my personal issues and that same person starts telling everyone that, word for word, they have that issue, and it's literally only because they want attention

[arisveah]

man i hate slur jumpscares omg

[rory-moment]

me ranting L man i am PISSED. we are talking about empathy in class right now. I am autistic and on the lower empathy side. I can feel it, but only in certain situations, and I have to be close to the person. otherwise its not there much at all, i'd say. teacher said "raise your hand if you think you have empathy" and i didn't. everyone except me and a few others raised their hands. teacher says something, and then she says "what about our friends who don't have empathy? what kind of friend is that?" and i am so mad. people with low empathy are not lesser or monsters or ANYTHING. we can be good friends. we are not bad people.

[joowee-feftynn]

using retarded as an insult completely defeats the purpose of reclaiming slurs btw. you don't see queer people reclaiming faggot/dyke/tranny and unironically using them as insults

[ramquest]

Watching the SuperBowl with my parents rn and I commented on how I wish the halo show wasn't getting more seasons cause I really didn't like the first season for many reasons. They then said I just hate everything and I'm always negative...

No im not...

Thats not fucking fair...

I talk about shit I love all the time you guys just never care because when I do my autistic ass can't figure out when to shut up.

I try and talk about stuff I love and I try showing you guys stuff all the time and you don't care or don't have the time.

I'm not just a negative person that's not true I love sharing everything I love I can talk about things I love for hours I'm not just negative...

God that hurts.

[roberts-island]

I am really burnt out lately and it’s getting to the point where I have no memory or sense of time. I keep missing appointments because I miscalculate how long travel time is, or I forget that it’s happening despite setting a reminder, and my executive function is shot so I feel like I’m constantly behind on chores and homework. It’s really debilitating and I’m sick of people acting like I’ll be ok when there’s no clear solution, just because I mostly look functional on the outside. I’m in meltdown and shutdown most of the time lately and I think I’m getting depressed. I don’t know how to describe the amount of effort life takes, or how to make any of it better

[generationa1trauma]

flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable