#needed john 2 meet jack

[lonewolf638]

hi can we talk abt this

[rustyironskillet]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”

[melancholicstation]

HUSBAND JACK SCHLOSSBERG HEADCANONS 𓍼 𓇢𓆸

taglist: @remotewatch @bloxholden35 @kennediva @h-l-vlovesvintage @absurdlyvintage @chemicalw0rld @fortheloveofjos @kimcrystal123 @astro-vibes-bro @tsloverr-13

might make this into a couple of one-shots??

imagining WIFE!READER as an orion carloto type, who balances modelling and writing, and makes tiktoks in the same vain of alanabananaxox on tiktok (she's been my no.1 tiktoker since 2021) and sotce.

met wife!reader at a runway after party of an up and coming new york indie brand ( sandy liang, khaite, bode etc. )

proposes to you with the blythe doll you had been obsessing over, dressed in a wedding dress and hand-customised by a popular etsy dealer with quite a high rate like this girl on tt

encouraged by jack to do a ‘what’s in my ( miu miu joie leather ) bag’ video on tiktok to help campaign for kamala akin to this video of anne hathaway but with a different vibe.

jack is ultimate embarrassing hard launcher bofy, leaving in all his girlfriends giggles that come from his chaotic antics when filming his videos.

wife!reader loves to slather jack’s face in biologique recherche’s “masque vivant”, he complains that it smells like rotting meat😹😹😹😹😹.

jack would be always on that damn phone during your runway shows, recording each time you pass him by in the catwalk.

would be the absolute opposite of marriage-shy.

unpopular opinion this man would be asking about marriage, a solid 3 months in ( jfk and jackie married in a YEAR )

fucks UP a rotisserie chicken.

forwards you his tweets before and asks if they’re good enough to post.

smells like aesop musk and of herbal deodorant.

wife!reader buys rick owen’s black and white t-shirts and slacks for jack, and jack’s absolutely baffled when he learns the price tag.

love language is buying wife!reader drinks whenever and wherever they are: hot chocolate in central park, home-delivers you a sab benedetto sparkling water because he had a meeting at cipriani downtown, and always orders a polo bar punch for you prior to your arrival to your shared weekly dinner date at the polo bar on 55th st.

instigates a24 marathons on friday nights, much to the dismay of your prior night plans ( you are more of a criterion collection girl and have held a subscription since you were a freshman in college )

( clumsily ) slips lana del rey lyrics into sexting and dirty talk.

husband!jack and wife!reader texts go like this:

jack is horrific at low impact pilates, he needs to be near a body of water.

he wears your prized doublesoul x orion caroloto ‘lamb’ socks around your woodfloored high-rise despite your varied attempts at hiding them from him.

constantly frets over you during society galas, which is quite convenient due to your tempered social anxiety and your forgetful memory of high society etiquette.

immediately brings you to meet the family, for which you were completely unprepared for ( i’m imagining something reminder of that one story of meghan markle meeting princess kate middleton in ripped jeans and bare feet )

jack loves to wear your 100% cotton brandy melville pointelle tanks despite them being comically tiny for his frame.

would have an innocence kink.

he gets intensely flushed when called his proper full name: john bouvier kennedy schlossberg, wife!reader abuses this to the HIGHEST degree!!!

the first time he entered you apartment he was constantly paranoid of breaking anything because your house was littered with ceramics from brooklyn under-ground designers and clay lamb figurines.

he NEEDS his beauty Zzzzzzz or else.

plays with your very expensive westman atelier blushes like a toddler.

sickly devoted to you.

you both want to adopt a lamb despite living in a HIGH-RISE apartment.

sends pics captioned with anaïs nin lewd quotes.

he would think whole foods was stupidly over priced but would purchase his groceries there in spite of his opinions.

has hyperfixations on old-hollywood women which causes you to be snippy at him for exactly 2-3 hours ex. jack’s current hyper fixation on audrey hepburn being his doppelgänger.

wife!reader definitely participated in that egg cracking trend where girls would crack an egg on their boyfriends head.

would love caring for your hair and doing your curly girl hair routine if you had one.

wife!reader does small yet viral shoots for brands like mirror palais, the row, and loewe.

manhandles you ( lovingly ) without even trying.

mans is a chronic diptyque candle lighter.

loves to be coddled and cradled as a grown man…

plays with your van cleef stack before stage when he’s nervous about his speech landing correctly

uses his family connections to get his girl courted by the high-ticket fashion brands: schiaparelli, chanel, dior, yves saint laurent etc.

[turcott3]

safety net

jack hughes x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, semi slow burn, a kiss, angst and some fluff ofc

positions masterlist!

~trippin’ fallin’ with no safety net~

-

you made your way into the bar, as it was your first weekend living in jersey. you walk in and head straight to the counter, asking for a drink that was sweet and didn’t taste too strongly of alcohol.

“hey stranger.” a voice says to your right and you turn your head.

“dawson?” you say, your eyes widening.

“hey y/n.” he says opening his arms for you to hug him, which you gladly accept.

“how have you been? oh my gosh it’s been what like 3 years.” you say smiling at your old school friend.

“i’ve been good, playing hockey here is fucking awesome.” he says.

“yes! that’s right you play for the devils, how could i forget you getting drafted!” the two of you laugh.

“well how’s your boyfriend? haven’t seen him in a few years either.” he asks curiously.

“funny you should ask, i broke up with him and that’s why i moved here.”

“wait really? why? you don’t have to explain if you’re not comfortable.” the brunette boy asks leaning on the counter.

“well things were so great when we started dating our senior year but within the last year he became a real fucking asshole, so i broke it off and moved away so he couldn’t try to find me and sucker me into being with him again.” you explain, leaving out any details you weren’t ready to share.

“well shit, i’m sorry y/n. i bet that hurt a lot.”

“it did but i’m over it, ready to find someone else.” you say and you practically see the light bulb turn on over his head.

“i think i have someone i want you to meet.” he smirks. you grab your drink and follow close behind him, holding onto his arm.

“hey jack!” dawson says to a brunette boy with bright blue eyes.

“what’s up daws, who’s this?” he says looking at you. you release dawson’s arm and give him a smile.

“jack this is y/n, y/n this is jack.” he says looking between you two.

“nice to meet you, jack.” you say.

“yeah, you too.” he smiles, causing a blush to burn in your cheeks.

“i have to go to the bathroom, you two have fun. don’t get too drunk.” he says giggling and walking off to the bathroom.

“so y/n, what brings you to jersey?” he asks.

“just needed a change of scenery from my hometown. dawson and i went to highschool together.” you tell him.

“oh wow, small world. are you still new to living here or?”

“yeah this is only my first weekend but i’m glad im already meeting people, it was getting pretty lonely.” you laugh.

“well now that you’ve reconnected with dawson, you have a whole new group of people to hang out with.”

“oh are you guys like on the same team?” you ask.

“yeah we are, my brothers around here somewhere. probably tongue deep in some random girl.” he laughs.

“is he older or younger?”

“younger.” he says taking a sip of his drink.

“oh nice.” you smile doing the same.

“can i get your number?” he asks.

“yeah of course.” you say as he hands you his phone.

“what have i missed?” a tall, curly haired boy asks.

“ah yes, y/n, this is my brother luke.”

“nice to meet you.” you say.

“nice to meet you too.” he replies.

“so where were you?” jack asks as i hand him his phone back.

“i was talking to john but i didn’t wanna ruin his game so i came back.” he laughs.

“johnny getting some ladies?”

“he sure was.” luke laughs, taking a sip of his beer.

“i see you’ve met the other one.” dawson says returning from the bathroom.

“yes i have.” i laugh at him. you spent the next 2 hours with the boys, enjoying their presence and the fact that you’d made some friends in your new town.

“well i think im gonna call it a night.” you say taking the final sip of your drink.

“let me walk you?” jack asks.

“yeah sure.” you accept and the two of you make your way out of the bar.

“did you walk here or drive?” he asks stopping once you made it outside.

“oh i walked, i live like two blocks away.”

“okay cool, show me the way.” he says.

“jack you don’t have to.”

“i’m not letting you walk back to your apartment by yourself at midnight in a big city y/n.” he says firmly.

“oh, thank you.” you blush and begin your walk to your apartment. the walk was filled with small talk and laughter, the chemistry between you two growing more and more with seemingly every step.

“well this is my place.” you say arriving at your door.

“alright, have a good night y/n. i’ll text you.” he says as you pull him in for a side hug.

“goodnight jack.” you say shutting the door behind you. it’s been 5 days and you already have a crush on someone you just met. it felt almost wrong. you had broken up with your boyfriend just two weeks ago. you couldn’t allow yourself to move on too quickly. your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you see that dawson had texted you.

dawson: glad you made it back safe!

y/n: thank you! except really you can thank jack

dawson: hahaha well i guess so🙄 have a good night y/n

y/n: you too, see you again soon?

dawson: yes for sure, season starts in like a month and a half i’m sure you’ll get sick of seeing me

y/n: doubt it

dawson: only bc ill bring jack

y/n: bitch

dawson: i’m messing with you lmaooooo goodnight y/n

y/n: goodnight daws😭

-

you woke up the next morning to a text from jack saying good morning, to which you replied with a simple, good morning. texting a new guy felt so wrong. you didn’t know what to do about it but you couldn’t ghost him so you figure you should just keep chatting and see what happens.

“lunch?” you say reading his next text. the boy asked you to lunch, to which you hesitantly agreed to join him. you made yourself a small breakfast to tide you until lunch. you sat on the couch watching tv, growing more nervous by the second. he didn’t ask you on a date, just lunch. maybe he just wants to be friends? after you ate, you put on a casual outfit and added a natural touch to your makeup. he texted the address and you left your apartment, hoping to arrive after him. once you arrive at the, what appears to be, small coffee shop, you’re greeted by jack smiling at the counter.

“sorry i’m a little late.” you laugh nervously.

“no don’t worry, i was just about to order. what do you want?”

“oh jack you don’t have to pay i can’t wait in line.” you say.

“now what kind of man would i be to let a pretty girl like you wait in line and pay for her own food?” he says boldly, a blush creeping up on your cheeks.

“an iced vanilla latte and a buttered croissant is good then.” you simply reply, finding a seat at a table by a large window. he meets you soon after, with a table number in his hand.

“you ever been here before?” he asks, noticing you staring out the window.

“i haven’t, i didn’t even know it was here until you told me about it.” you say redirecting your attention to the boy who already had his eyes on you.

“i come here sometimes, it’s like my special little spot for special occasions.” he smiles leaning back in his chair.

“what’s so special about this occasion?” you question, wanting real answers.

“it’s our first date.” he smirks causing your face to burn bright red.

“well i guess it is isn’t it.” you laugh.

-

once you arrive back at your apartment, you throw your purse to the side and kick off your shoes.

“what have i done? what do i do? oh fuck me, i can’t do this.” you say, that piece of your heart never healing from your past relationship. you couldn’t let go of the mistrust you felt. you never wanted to make the same mistake again, so you called dawson.

“hello?” you speak when he picks up.

“hey y/n, what’s up?”

“can you come over, i need advice.”

“yeah of course, send me your address and i’ll be there.”

“thank you so much, bye daws.” you say hanging up and sending him your address. you sat on your couch almost in a panic. you told yourself over and over to not do this again, especially this soon. a short 10 minutes later, you hear a knock on your door and you open it to see dawson standing there in his sweats.

“did i wake you from a nap?” you laugh.

“yes actually you did, but it’s okay, what’s up?” he says stepping in and shutting the door behind him.

“jack is what’s up.”

“oh?” he says plopping down on my couch.

“so we went out to lunch, he called it our first date.” you say.

“okay what’s the problem with that?” he says.

“you’re not understanding, my ex and i broke up what 3 weeks ago? i can’t move on, how do i know i can trust him?”

“y/n, jacks a nice guy, i wouldn’t have introduced you two if i thought otherwise.”

“i just think it’s too soon dawson.”

“relax, calm down, chill out.” he says standing up and placing his hands on your biceps.

“how am i supposed to be calm?”

“y/n, no one is rushing you into a relationship. you are not committed to the guy, you went on ONE date. you aren’t married to him, just relax. i know it’s hard, i don’t know all the details of your break up but obviously you let your mistrust cloud your vision of good people. i wouldn’t let you go down a dark rabbit hole, and you know that.” he says calming your nerves. dawson always had a way of getting to you and calming you down when necessary, even though it had been years since you last saw the boy.

“okay you’re right.” you say sighing.

“and you don’t have to worry, he’s leaving to go to michigan for a couple days tomorrow, so you can spend time away from him and just texting, so you can get to know him better without it being to serious for you.” he adds.

“perfect.” you laugh.

“now why don’t we chill out and watch a movie, you’re clearly stressed and i want you to clear your mind.” he states, grabbing the remote and switching on the tv. after a couple hours, dawson heads home, leaving you alone with nothing but your phone.

jack: hey i’m headed to michigan tmrw morning, hang when im back?

y/n: yes for sure!

jack: ok awesome, see you then

y/n: *loved a message*

you sat with your thoughts. you were terrified of the possibilities with jack, you couldn’t help it. it’s like your brain had been hardwired to push him away, but you fought the urge harder than anyone could ever know.

-

it had been about two weeks and jack returned from his trip a few days ago. the two of you have been texting nonstop. you learned the silly facts about each other and his personality shined through even on text. he was beginning to give you that glimpse of hope that you thought you’d lost for good.

“i just don’t know.” you spoke to dawson through the phone.

“he’s never texted a girl this long, he obviously likes you.”

“well you never know.”

“he has had women throw themselves at him and he’s rejected all of them. don’t you see it.”

“i do but i just don’t know if it’s the best idea.”

“y/n, just give it another go. go on another date with him. you won’t regret it, you and i both know that as much as you don’t want to admit that your crush is more than just a silly little crush.”

“god, daws you always know how to pick my brain what is wrong with you?” you laugh.

“um nothing, im just correct.” he scoffs.

“okay whatever, ill call him tonight okay?” you reply hoping it’ll shut him up.

“i’m holding you to it, so you better.”

“whatever mercer.”

-

“hello?” you hear a muffled jack on the other end of the line.

“hey jack, i was wondering if maybe you’d wanna go out again some time? i had a great time with you.”

“yeah absolutely!”

“does tomorrow work?” you ask, holding your breath.

“yeah i don’t have any plans. ill come pick you up at 1?”

“perfect.” you smile to yourself.

“i’ll see you tomorrow y/n.”

“bye jack.” you say hanging up the phone, wanting to scream with excitement. you had no clue how this could feel the way it does so soon after your breakup.

-

2 months later

“hey,” jack says shaking you awake.

“huh.” you groan opening your eyes.

“i have a skate to go to, ill be back okay?” he says, you fully processing your surroundings.

“oh, yeah okay. have fun.” you smile as he leans down to kiss you on the cheek. you’d stayed the night at his house just like you have for a few nights every week since your second date though you never established a label for your relationship, just placing the boyfriend name tag on him when you’re out by yourself, too afraid to use it around him. the idea of him leaving you to skate sucked, and you shoved down these feelings so they wouldn’t get in the way of anything. you never wanted him to leave your sight. you hated that you’d grown so attached. you pulled out your phone to call dawson, always filling him in with updates.

“hey miss hughes, what you up to?” he asks picking up.

“dawson stop,” you laugh, “i just woke up, jack just left for optional skate.”

“oh that’s funny i’m on my way there now.”

“i’m sure he’ll ive you all the details.”

“yeah he always does but you’re gonna tell me what’s going on in that little brain of yours first.”

“i hate when he leaves dude. i hate it. i feel like i have no right to be this attached. being around him makes me so fucking happy, it’s like all my problems disappear when he’s around. but i need to face it, he probably doesn’t even want me.”

“you’re lying but go on.”

“lying about what?”

“you really think he ever keeps girls around this long if he doesn’t wanna be with them? be for real with yourself y/n.” he says plainly.

“okay well, point is, i’ve grown attached and i don’t understand my feelings daws.”

“i think you love him.” he laughs.

“you’re crazy.” you scoff.

“did you listen to anything you just said?”

“what part?”

“god damnit, think before you speak y/n. the way you feel when you’re around him is love. practically in its exact definition.”

“it’s only been 3 months that i’ve known the guy.”

“bitch do you really think love has a timeline?”

“well n-“

“THEN GO GET HIM.”

“i’m not gonna go, he’s skating.”

“i meant it figuratively, just wait for him to come back and see how different you feel compared to talking to me on the phone. don’t leave. don’t panic and push him away y/n. give him a shot.”

“okay okay, ill talk to you later dawson.”

“alright, bye y/n.” he says hanging up abruptly. you knew deep down that he was probably right and you couldn’t admit it to yourself. you sat on his couch for a few hours, waiting to hear the lock turn again, when suddenly it did.

“oh hey, you’re still here? i thought you’d be gone by now.” he laughs, hanging his keys on the hook.

“no i wanted to stay, your couch is cozy.”

“well i’m glad you’re still here.” he says, kissing you on top of the head as he passed behind the couch. dawson was right, you felt giddy when jack entered the room, and the feeling didn’t settle. he returns back to the living room.

“you look like you’re thinking.” he says sitting down next to you. you sit up and turn to him.

“i am thinking.” you say, anxiety running through your body at full speed, knee bouncing.

“what’s on that pretty mind of yours?” he giggles placing a hand on your leg gently.

“i think i love you.” you say quietly, the words slipping off your tongue with struggle. you finally let yourself trip and fall. it felt almost freeing. his demeanor shifts as a smile grows on his face. he sits up to get closer to you.

“what was that?” he asks, smile growing wider.

“i think i love you. no no, i do. i do love you. i love you jack. i know we never attached a label to whatever we are but i can’t keep pushing my feelings away anymore. i just love you.” you say finally being able to lock eyes with him. he connects your lips in response, framing your cheek with his callused hand. when you pull away his gorgeous smile returns.

“fuck, i love you too y/n.” he laughs, a wave of relief washing over you. you couldn’t believe how jack changed your perspective on love and men so quickly but it never felt more true to you. you couldn’t deny your feelings anymore no matter how hard you tried. you finally let yourself fall, and thank god it was into the right hands this time.

-

[zepskies]

Smoke Eater || Series Masterlist

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.   

AN: "Smoke eater": a self-appointed slang term for a firefighter.

Get ready for an AU! Several SPN characters will make their appearances: Sam and John Winchester, Castiel as "Cas Novak," Ellen and Jo Harvelle, Jack Kline, Benny Lafitte, Gordon Walker, Meg Masters, Chuck Shurley, Nick (yes, even him), and more!

Series Tags/Warnings: (**18+ only!) There will be a lot of heart, a lot of fun, drama, heartbreak, protective Dean, and even a murder mystery. Rating for eventual smut, perilous situations, and other chapter-specific tags.

🎵 Listen While You Read:

The Smoke Eater Playlist: YouTube || Spotify

Chapters:

Part 1 - Class and Style - Podcast Version!

Part 2 - Lieutenant Winchester

Part 3 - Got a Hold on Me

Part 4 - Rocky Road

Part 5 - Twitterpated

Part 6 - Just Casual

Part 7 - Cherry Pie & Lemon Drizzle

Part 8 - Likewise, Baby

Part 9 - Do Not Disturb

Part 10 - Toil and Trouble

Part 11 - Heart of the Home

Part 12 - All in the Family

Part 13 - Boiling Point

Part 14 - Message in a Bottle

Part 15 - The Good Part

Part 16 - Break Down the Gates

Part 17 - The Real Deal

Part 18 - V for Vendetta

Part 19 - Sacrifice

Epilogue - Easy as Pie

Series Complete!

Bonus One-Shots:

Something Real** Now that you and Dean are officially engaged, you take some much needed time off together for a family vacation. But even with the wedding set for next year, the two of you are still at odds when it comes to one key part of your future together…

(Want to listen to the podcast version? Keep scrolling below!)

🎙️ Podcast Fics:

Listen to Part 1 in podfic form!

(A "podfic" is where you can listen to the story narrated.)

(Cover image and narration by @talltalesandbedtimestories)

Or listen to the official Idling in the Impala episode of Smoke Eater Part 1 on YouTube:

Or listen on Spotify.

Listen to the Idling in the Impala podfic episode of the sequel story, Something Real below:

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Join My Patreon 🌟

Dean Winchester Series List

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List:

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[spaceagesparkledust]

Random Doctor Who hcs Part 2

Martha tries to teach 10 how to cook. It isn’t that he can’t. But he’s also not the best and he needs something substantial in his life. He absolutely hates cooking in 1969 but Martha refuses to do all the work. 

Each moon landing Martha and Ten dressed as different people. It became a competition on finding the most outrageous costume in the TARDIS closets. 

I am a firm believer in Ten and Martha becoming better friends after she leaves. I need this in my life. 

Tentoo and Rose hold hands all the time. All. The. Time. 

Nine walks around the TARDIS without his jacket on sometimes. It freaks everyone out. Rose stares at him a bit too long, trying to figure out if she likes it or not. 

“What” 

“You’ve got….arms.” 

Jack flirts with him about it. Rose says it makes him look soft and Nine decides right then and there he’s never not wearing the jacket again. (This is a lie, he’s willing to look soft when Rose looks at him like that)

Listen listen listen forget the flow of time for a second: Rose, Martha, and Donna all get along like a house on fire. They have the best times. They can and will fly the TARDIS without the Doctor just watch them. 

Rose takes Tentoo to look at animal shelter dogs when he misses K-9. (They wind up getting two dogs and name one K-9.2)

Rose meets Jenny on one of her dimension hops. She never finds out she’s related to the Doctor but keeps thinking she’s familiar the entire time. 

Wilf brings the Doctor home sometimes like you’d bring in a stray cat.

I love the idea that Tentoo takes Wilf’s name. John Wilfred Tyler-Noble.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 1 | Part 2

The customers can usually be separated into 3 categories.

Drunks, students, and weirdos.

Unfortunately for you, lately the weirdos have turned into regulars. But fortunately the weirdos aren't so weird.

The one that made it a habit to check in on you, with the scars and the cheesy wink wasn't so bad. Jack, was it? You can't remember and it's been too long for you to ask. You awkwardly address him as 'you' and avoid any situation where you need to use his name.

He likes to ask how you are, tell a few jokes. Spirit undeterred even when you look at him with a blank face because bless his soul, he's not funny at all but at least he tries and he's a lot less weird than first impression.

He hangs around at odd times, then again you do only work at odd times. Telling you stories about this and that. Something about Big Deal, something about a guy called Sinu and something about another guy called Samuel.

It's difficult to keep track. It's like he wants to talk but he's cryptic and god, it's 4am who can blame you if your eyes are glazing over.

John, or is it Jerry, is waffling again. He seems to always be talking about Samuel. Who he apparently misses and wonders where it's gone wrong and hang on, he's never been explicit but you just had to know.

When he takes a breath to munch on a cookie, you ask, "Hold on, is Samuel your ex?"

Wait no his name is Jason, definitely Jason- freezes mid-chew, "Why would you say that? He's my friend!"

Joshua sprays crumbs all over you but you note how he doesn't say no.

(You think you see this Samuel one early morning. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before and man, he really looks like shit.

Looks like the breakup is getting to him too.

Poor Samuel and Poor Jim.)

.

.

But sometimes weirdos are just weirdos. 

It's ok. It comes with the territory so long as they're not in the habit of hurling abuse or whatever, you can deal with it.

In recent memory, there's only been two people that you have had to almost chase out with a broomstick.

You should have known they would be weirdos when one of them walks in in surprisingly teeny tiny purple camo shorts. Not that you're a pearl clutcher, but you're worried that one wrong move and he could be dangling out.

Besides. Purple. Camo. Shorts. Those words should never follow one after the other, and you repress a shudder at this guy's hideous dress sense when he comes up to you.

You thought the other one was alright, at least there's no hideous purple camo shorts in sight and his hair is nice (huh, this style must be popular, you’ve seen a lot of guys with this hair)-

But then he opens his mouth and asks for snakes and you think it's karma for judging camo-guy for his appearance when his friend is equally odd.

"We usually keep the snakes next to the ramen," you deadpan and the two men actually go to seek out the supposed snake (meat or pet purposes?) only to return moments later, empty-handed and looking confused.

"I think the snake is all sold out," Non-camo guy says as camo-guy glances around as if you might have hidden your snake stock elsewhere.

They must have thought you were stupid as you stood there opening and closing your mouth like a fish (or maybe a snake, do snake do these things), because come on, how are you even supposed to formulate a response to that?

Then you look at their eyes and also notice them looking snakey and surmise it must be some weird fetish thing. Pretending to be snakes and eating snakes and having pet snakes.

You want no part of this and tell them to get out.

.

.

"I'm Baek Hangyeol," a new face says, pointing to his ID badge pinned to the white coat. 

"Doctor Baek Hangyeol." He stresses Doctor and Hangyeol and you wonder if he is waiting for a round of applause.

You don't say anything but you do notice he looks like a teenager and what idiot would let a teenager operate on them. (Drunk, student, weirdo. He could be all three.) Doctor Baek Hangyeol must be bluffing.

You decide not to call him on his bullshit. 

"Cool," is all you respond with because you don't want another complaint for being too mouthy. You are half tempted to tell him you're not a doctor, that you just work here but that seemed kinda redundant so you keep your mouth shut.

"Do you believe in true beauty?" he asks when you finish bagging up his goods (a plain water with added minerals, a bottle of multivitamins and a protein shake) and you think what sort of question is that.

You give a halfhearted shrug and say "Sure" and he hands his business card over.

"If you're ever considering it," he tells you with a wild smile. After he has left you look down at the lettering, eyes zeroing in on ‘Plastic Surgery’.

Excuse me?! What is he trying to say?

You thought he was a weirdo but now he has firmly shifted over to asshole. You regret not telling him to go fuck himself while you had the chance. The complaint would 100% be worth it. Zero regrets.

On your break, you burn the card and feel a small sense of satisfaction.

.

.

A tall blonde guy with a creepy vibe (hold on, have you seen him before, he seems familiar. Then again, creepy blonde guys seem to be quite common around here-) walks in with the most billowing coat you have ever seen.

The entrance is kinda cool but the actual coat is kinda tragic with the cheesy red lettering and you wonder if you can pull it off any better than him.

You're still wondering about his coat when he's paying you, and hang on you have definitely seen him before because he says arigatou and hands over yen and you tell him no. Won only.

The idea of the coat, which has evolved into you fantasising about having a full blown cape, quickly loses its charm however, when the blonde gets caught in the automatic doors and you have to wrestle them open to free him.

Afterwards, you ask if he's ok, if he is harmed and can’t resist asking if the coat is ok too. You really don't want a lawsuit on your watch especially when the malfunctioning doors are not your fault.

Your kindness is repaid by him telling you he's not interested (what the fuck) and that his heart will not stray (again, what the fuck).

.

.

You accidentally eavesdrop on a couple of students lamenting about missing out on school work. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop ok, the aisles are tight and cramped, it’s a small space. 

You peek over, and the one with big ears (seriously, they are huge) is telling the one with his back to you (goodness, his back is huge too) that school is important and he’s got notes the other one can use. 

It’s sweet, you think. School is important and it’s good they recognise that. Nice of them to help each other out too.

When they both come to pay (holy shit, that’s a fuckton of chocolate milk), you’re surprised to find Big Ear’s friend, Big Back, looks anywhere between late 20s and early 40s but it’s never too late to catch up on education, you suppose.

You spend the rest of your shift feeling motivated.

.

.

“Going camping?” you ask the guy with the sandy blonde hair, chuckling nervously and ringing his items through. 

Either he’s going camping or he’s gonna kill and hide a dead body in the forest.

He’s pretty stoic, only giving you a curt nod. You can’t help but probe him a bit more. You’ve got a feeling that if or when the dead body turns up, you want to at least clear your conscience that you’ve tried your best so you make some more idle small talk.

You mention how you haven’t been camping for ages, not since you nearly burned your tent down and singed your hair after you tried to cook some marshmallows over a fire that turned out to be more of a raging bonfire (and might have awoken your pyromaniac streak, but you keep that to yourself).

The blonde guy actually pipes up and says “Master Taesoo would never do that.” 

You almost apologise out of principle due to how earnest he sounds, then he mentions something about how good this Master Taesoo is at catching and cooking snake and you wonder what the fuck is up with people and the snake obsession.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like someone is getting murdered. Only a snake (poor snake) so at least you can sleep easy later that day.

.

.

“Oh hi DG,” you say, “Sorry about your cryptocurrency falling through. Diegocoin was it?”

He blinks at you a few times in surprise and heavens above. What’s that saying, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you? This guy has fooled you exactly no times with his shitty disguises and his effort has substantially dwindled too. 

He has only put his hood up and you did think you might get mugged at one point-

It’s an empty store, for crying out loud. Who comes into an empty store in the asscrack of night with their hood up, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then you notice the pink hair and shifty glance and duh.

“Is it the-?” he asks, putting his hood down and signalling to his hair.

“Yeah, it’s the-” you signal to your own head of hair. “Dude you really need to dye it if you’re going for subtle.” You pause, consider something, “Hold on.”

You walk over to the beauty aisle and grab the black hair dye.

“On the house,” you tell DG because this guy really has no self awareness.

.

.

“What do you mean no?”

“No." Your boyfriend peers down at you, arms crossed and at the end of his patience with you.

You open your mouth to argue- 

“No. You know nothing about Taekwondo. How can you work here?”

You look around helplessly at the studio. He’s not exactly wrong but you’re sick of dealing with the weirdos and the snakes and the creepy blondes. “But your dad-”

“I don’t care what that stupid old man says,”

“Taehoon!” Hansu scolds from the other side of the room, and Hansu's class of toddlers all whirl their head around to stare.

“I can learn?” you offer and Taehoon raises one skeptical brow.

“So you’re going to be a student?” You nod enthusiastically, “And we’re going to pay you for that?”

Oh. Damn. 

He’s got you there.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Please note that a character currently needs at least 3 submissions to make it into the poll

That said:

Has 3 Submissions or more:

Has 2 Submissions:

Animal Crossing New Horizons' Player Character - Animal Crossing New Horizons

Arthur Pendragon - BBC Merlin

Bakugou Katsuki - My Hero Academia

BEOWULF - BEOWULF

Bloom Peters - Winx Club

Claire - Ship It

Dawson Leery - Dawson’s Creek

Duck Dodgers - Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2 century

Eikichi Onizuka - Great Teacher Onizuka

Elizabeth - Bioshock Burial at Sea

Elric of Melniborne - The Elric Saga

Emiya Shirou - Fate Stay Night

Eren Jaegar - Shingeki no Kyojin

Ezra Bridger - Star Wars Rebels

Hazel Lancester - The Fault In Our Stars

Jack Torrance - The Shining

James Bond - James Bond

Jaune Arc - RWBY

John Proctor - The Crucible

Odysseus - The Odyssey

Oliver Armstrong - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Peppa Pig - Peppa Pig

Piper - Orange is the new Black

Rhaenyra Targaryen - House of the Dragon

Riley Matthews - Girl Meets World

Roy Musang - Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Sasuke - Naruto

Sheldon Cooper - Big Bang Theory

Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) - Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

Snow Villiers - Final Fantasy 13

Wade Watts - Ready Player One

William Afton - FNaF Ultimate Custom Night

Zack Morris - Saved by the Bell

Has 1 Submission

Ahsoka - Ahsoka Disney+

Ahsoka Tano - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Akiyama Shun - Ryu Ga Gotoku/Yakuza

Aragorn - Lord of the Rings

Arek - So This Is Ever After

Ataru Moroboshi - Urusei Yatsura

August Landry - One Last Stop

Ayin - Lobotomy Corporation

Beatrice "Tris" Prior - Divergent

Betty Cooper - Riverdale

Bill Dickey - The Eltingville Club/Welcome to Eltingville

Billy Buddy/Dr. Horrible - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along

Billy Hatcher - Billy Hatcher and the giant egg

Black Star - Soul Eater

Blake - Pokemon Adventures Black 2 and White 2

Bubsy - Bubsy 3D

Caleb Widogast - Critical Role

character Tommy - Dream SMP

Charley Pollard - Doctor Who

Charlie - Charlie's Inferno - That Handsome Devil

Choromatsu Matsuno - Osomatsu-san

Claire Danvers - Morganville Vampires

Clear Sky/Skystar - Warrior Cats

Colin Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Corrin - Fire Emblem Fates

Cory Matthews - Boy Meets World

Dal - Star Trek Prodigy

Damian Wayne - DC

Damon Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries

Daniel X - The Dangerous Days of Daniel X

Data - Star Trek The Next Generation

Dorrigo Evans - The Narrow Road to the Deep North book

Doug Eiffel - Wolf 359

Drizzt Do'Urden - Legend of Drizzt

Dr. Hanna Heath - People of the Book

Ellison Oswalt - Sinister

Emma Nelson - Degrassi: The Next Generation

Equality 7-2521 - Anthem

Frankie Landau Banks - The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks

Galadriel Higgins - The Scholomance Trilogy

Geralt of Rivia - The Last Wish, The Witcher books

Go Siwon - A Guy Like You

Hamlet - Hamlet

Haruto Kirishima - A Town Where You Live

Haruyuki Arita - Accel World

Heathcliff - Wuthering Heights

Hermione Granger - Harry Potter

Homer Simpson - The Simpson

Howard Roark - The Fountainhead

Humbert Humbert - Lolita

James Bond - The Sean Connery James Bond Movies

James Holden - The Expanse book series

Jaypaw - Warrior Cats

Jean-Luc Picard - Star Trek The Next Generation

Jeff Winger - Community

Jim Hopper - Stranger Things

JJ - Cocomelon

Joaquin Monegro - Abel Sánchez

Jon Snow - ASoIaF

Jotaro Kujo - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Joy - Inside Out

Jughead Jones - Riverdale

Kade - Down to Earth Webtoon

Kazuya Tsukasa - Kamen Rider Decade

Kai - The Witch King

Kang Jinha - A Guy Like You

Katara - Avatar the Last Airbender

Katnis - Hunger Games

Kaz Kaan - Neo Yokio

Keiichi Maebara - Higurashi when they cry

Kelsier - Mistborn

Khai - Theory of Love - Thai BL Show

King Arthur - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Korra - Avatar: Legend of Korra

Koyomi Araragi - The Monogatari series

Kun-chan - Mirai

Lelouch Lamperouge - Code Geass

Leroy Jethro Gibbs - NCIS

Lily Blossom Bloom - It Ends With Us

Lionblaze - Warriors (Power of Three and Omen of the Stars)

Luna - Retro

Luffy - One Piece

Lyn - Fire Emblem

Makoto Naegi - Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Mal - Firefly

Manaow - Love Senior

Mark Watney - The Martian

Mary Poppins - Walt Disney's Mary Poppins

Merlin - BBC Merlin

Meursault - The Stranger

Mia - La La Land

Michael Burnham - Star Trek: Discovery

Mike Wheeler - Stranger Things

Miyo Sasaki - A Whisker Away

Mordecai - Regular Show

Nancy Botwin - Weeds

Natsuki Subaru - Re:Zero

Nick Carraway - The Great Gatsby

Nicole - Class of 09

Nightheart - Warrior Cats

North Italy - Hetalia

Okajima ""Rock"" Rokuro - Black Lagoon (Anime)

Okazaki Tomoya - Clannad

Okonkwo - Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe)

Otis Milburn - Sex Education

Patrick Bateman - American Psycho

Piper McLean - Heroes of Olympus

Pippa Fitz-Amobi - A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder

Ramona Flowers - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Ramsey Snow - Game of Thrones

Rebecca Bunch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV show)

Remy the Rat - Ratatouille

Richard Cypher - Sword of Truth

Robert Langdon - The Da Vinci Code

Rodion Raskolnikov - Crime and Punishment

Rorschach - Watchmen

Rory Gilmore - Gilmore Girls

Ruby - Max & Ruby

Ryo Saeba - City Hunter

Sabrina Grimm - The Sisters Grimm

Sabrina Spellman - Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Sami Reese - Little White Lie

Satou Kazuma - Konosuba

Senku Ishigami - Doctor Stone

Serena - Pokemon

Sherlock Holmes - BBC Sherlock

Shiori - Six Crimson Cranes

Shrek - Shrek

Souji Tendou - Kamen Rider Kabuto

Spike Witwicky - Transformers IDW comics

Star Butterfly - Star vs The Forces of Evil

Stiles Stilinski - Teen Wolf

Sydney Atherton - The Beetle

Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure

Takao - Garden of Words

Tara Webster - Dance Academy

Tarl Cabot - The Gor Chronicles

Teriella Rufeon - My Husband Changes Every Night

The Beheaded - Dead Cells

Tom Wachowski - The Sonic Movies

Traveller - Genshin Impact

Ukiyo Ace - Kamen Rider Geats

Vanellope von Schweetz - Ralph Breaks the internet

Velvet Crowe - Tales of Bersia

Violetta - Disney's Violetta

Winston Smith - 1984

Wolverine - X-Men

Wreck it Ralph - Ralph Breaks the Internet

Yu/Ai - Final Fantasy Unlimited

Yuri Zhivago - Doctor Zhivago

Yuusaku Godai - Maison Ikkoku

Available for Resubmission (needs at least 1 resubmission to participate)

Aang - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Achilles - The Iliad

Adrien Agreste - Miraculous Ladybug

Alex Eagleston - YIIK

Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars

Aquamarin Hoshino - Oshi No Ko

Ash Ketchum - Pokemon

Atsuko Kagiri/Akko - Little Witch Academia

Batman - DC

Beca Mitchell - Pitch Perfect

Blitzo - Helluva Boss

Brambleclaw - Warrior Cats

Claire Fraser - Outlander

Coriolanus Snow - The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Dr. Heinrich Faust - Goethes Faust

Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way - My Immortal

Edward Elric - Fullmetal Alchemist

Eragon - Eragon/Inheritance Cycle

Erika Shinohara - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Frank Reagan - Blue Bloods

Frasier Crane - Frasier

Gregory - FNaF Security Breach

Harry Dresden - The Dresden Files

Harry DuBois - Disco Elysium

Holden Caulfield - The Catcher in the Rye

Joker - Persona 5

Katarina Claes - My Next Life as a Villainess

Kiris - On the Emperor's Lap

Kohaku - Dr. Stone

Kvothe - The Kingkiller Chronicles

Kyouya Sata - Ookami shoujo to kuro ouji

Mal - Descendants

Naofumi Iwatani - The Rising of the Shield Hero

Navier - Remarried Princess

Nesta Archeron - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Peter Pan - Peter Pan

Pucca - Pucca

Rand al'Thor - Wheel of Time

Rey - Star Wars

Rintaro Okabe - Steins;Gate

Scott McCall - Teen Wolf

Skullduggery Pleasant - Skullduggery Pleasant

Sophie Foster - Keeper of the Lost Cities

Stolas - Helluva Boss

Stuart Little - Stuart Little

The Tenth Doctor - Doctor Who

Tim Jackson Drake - DC

Tom Paris - Star Trek: Voyager

Tori Vega - Victorious

Wanda Maximoff - MCU

Wei (Ying) Wuxian - Mo Dao Zu Shi

Xander Harris - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Y/N - Fanfiction

Currently unavailable for a new Round:

Aelin Ashryver Galathynius/Celaena Sardothien - Throne of Glass

Alexander Hamilton - Hamilton

Artemis Fowl - Artemis Fowl

Bella Swan - Twilight

Bloom Peters - Fate: The Winx Saga

Bojack Horseman - Bojack Horseman

Caillou - Caillou

Charlie Morningstar - Hazbin Hotel

Clary Fray/Fairchild - Shadowhunters

Daphne Bridgerton - Bridgerton

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Dr Gregory House - House MD

Elena Gilbert - Vampire Diaries

Elsa - Frozen

Evan Hansen - Dear Evan Hansen

Ferris Bueller - Ferris Bueller's Day off

Feyre Archeron - A Court Of Thorns And Roses

Gray Wing - Warrior Cats

Harry Potter - Harry Potter

Heywood Floyd - Space Odyssey

Izuku (Deku) Midoriya - Boku no Hero Academia

Jimmy - Mouthwashing

Kazuya Kinoshita - Rent-a-Girlfriend

Kirito - Sword Art Online

Light Yagami - Death Note

Makoto Itou - School Days

Marinette Dupain-Cheng - Miraculous Ladybug

Meliodas - Seven Deadly Sins

Oscar - Shark Tale

Owen Grady - Jurassic World

Peter Griffin - Family Guy

Quentin Coldwater - The Magicians (books)

Rachel Berry - Glee

Richard Rahl - Seeker of Truth/Legend of the Seeker

Robin - Teen Titans Go

Ross Geller - Friends

Scott Pilgrim - Scott Pilgrim

Ted Mosby - How I Met Your Mother

Tony Stark - MCU

Velma - Velma

Victor Frankenstein - Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus

Walter White - Breaking Bad

Yukitero "Yukki" Amano - Future Diary

Zoey Redbird - The House of Night

[velvet-vox]

My Top 10 Favourite Male Villains of all time.

"How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything but irrelevant". -John Greer, Person of Interest (2011-2016).

There comes a moment in a blog's life where some things are just long overdue, and while the argument could be made that this happened way too early, I'd say that as long as this helps me to find my groove, I am free to experiment as much as I want.

So..... Villains.

Gotta love them. As long as I do not meet them in real life. This post is in particular about male villains since I have one dedicated to their female counterparts in the pipeline so expect that to come soon enough and for this part to be rewritten. By the way, "villain" is a generalisation, I can totally put antivillains, antagonists or more general antiheroes in this list; your definition of "Bad Guy" can vary greatly and so can mine, someone like Walter White from Breaking Bad could have made it in here. My taste is very unusual, so prepare yourself for some unexpected picks.

Also, since these are meant to be some big celebratory posts, for the occasion I'll reveal my Italian heritage and translate every line of dialogue in Italian and publish it separately with a link, so that English readers who are learning Italian can exercise.

Here's also a follow up to this post, the first part of my top 30 favourite female antagonists of all time. Check it out, if you are curious to see more.

The bad girls

But first, some honourable mentions:

Oropo (Wakfu): Once you see the number 2 spot for both this list and the female villains list you might notice that I tend to gravitate towards characters with wasted potential more often than not, but while we're just talking about this guy, I cannot stress enough the amount of unceremonious mishandling that lies within his concepts and execution. Really needed two seasons of 25 episodes each to explore it to their maximum.

Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda): I love him, but not as much as others, it's a matter of personal preference. He's an amazing antagonist, so even if he is just an honourable mention, I wouldn't call him a lesser villain by any stretch of the imagination; I once felt like he was too sympathetic for his movie's sake, but looking back at it again, he's actually moderately evil for a lot of reasons, even if Shifu is the main one.

Bill Chyper (Gravity Falls): It's been way too long since I watched Gravity Falls, I really can't give you an accurate opinion on this guy anymore.

Flintheart Glomgold (DuckTales 2017): That season 2 episode. If you know what I'm talking about, you KNOW. Also the music for that whole sequence was a banger, really driving home the deranged nature of that twist reveal.

Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): I feel like when people praise Jack for being a breath of fresh air in a stale environment, they often forget just how good of a villain he was in his own right without the larger industry wide void of truly devious antagonists that act out of pure malice.

The Wolf (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): Two villain entries from one movie? Of course it was gonna be The Last Wish, what else could it be? Honestly I don't even wanna talk about this guy, you need to experience the movie for yourself.

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball): Everything I have to say about this guy gets talked about much better by the number 6 Spot on this list, but as it stands Rob was my first villain OTP and the guy who opened the box of Pandora for me on what an antagonist could and should be, since then my perception of villainy only widened and now I enjoy their role in a story in much different way.

And now, with that out of the way, let's finally start with the ranking of my personal favourite male villains of all time.

Major spoilers down below:

Number 10: Silco (Arcane)

This guy is the reason that brought me to specify who or what counted for this list as trying to simplify Silco into one specific group of characters is a challenge that can only end in a misunderstanding of what makes Silco such a complex and fascinating character with an amazing character arc, that ends with him not being redeemed, mind you, but allows the audience to grieve in such a way that would make a side character death jealous.

When writing an antagonistic character, Silco is my goal and high standard, and just for that he deserves all of my respect and endless praise.

Now, admittedly, Silco's arc takes a while to kick in, but it works out to his advantage by the end of it since you don't realise just how much you've grown to care for him until he's dead and you're left with the surprise.

10 out 10, the nation of Zaun would have been much better (worse) with him than with Vander.

Number 9: The Riddler (DC)

The Riddler is literally my ride or die villain, when I'm in the mood for him, he's literally my favourite antagonist ever; when I am not in the mood for him, I completely forget about his existence.

When compared to many other entries on this list, Riddler is definitely more on the pop culture side of antagonism, and when you've been around for almost a century, you tend to have many different versions of the same character written by different writers, so I wanted to highlight here my favourite versions of him:

Arkham Games: He's hilarious. He's not my ideal Riddler, but whenever he comes on screen, his whiny rat's ass voice stimulates my pheromones.

Batman The Animated Series: I've heard somewhere that this version of him is disappointing, and to that I'll say... yeah, but only when he wasn't on screen, because otherwise, he kind of slayed.

Matt Reeves The Batman: This is the version that rekindled my love for him after so long. Out of every interpretation of The Riddler throughout the years, this is the one version that treated Edward more as a character rather than an obstacle for Batman to overcome, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

LEGO Batman The Videogame: My very first introduction to The Riddler and the Batman universe as a whole, this version has a permanent place in my heart , I love how much information and emotion you can get out of him by just looking at his mannerisms and quirks alone; unironically, being silent helps him reach that quote on quote idealised version of Riddler that I was talking about earlier.

Number 8: The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

There are many things that can carry on a villain in a story, their evolution, stage presence, complexity, thematic contrast to their counterpart, and so on and so forth. While an antagonist can check off many of these boxes simultaneously (like the one pictured), there's one box that is almost impossible to truly nail perfectly: comedy.

You see, comedy is subjective, and when your main antagonist is also the funniest part of a given story, it becomes hard to also match a sense of gravity and menace that allows them to also be an imposing threat, even harder is to give said antagonist depth and a tragic backstory.

But somehow, out of nowhere, The Snatcher from A Hat In Time manages to simultaneously be the funniest character in his section of the game, carrie said energy throughout the whole experience even down to the DLC, simultaneously strikes the balance between being scary, wholesome, sympathetic and tragic, exude an insane amount of charisma, all while having a deeply disturbing backstory that touches on some heavy themes and re contextualises his actions into something more complicated and out of a broken man, everything I just said + he's the biggest bastard in his videogame and never repents nor does he have his actions called out.

Snatcher really has all the right cards that make a stationary character work and uses them to his maximum potential, and it works because his character arc throughout the game is more about becoming affectionate to Hat Kid than it is about redeeming himself.

Lastly, his voice actor, Luke Sizemore, aka Yungtown, really sells the performance of this devious soul eating worm and burns his catchphrases into your brain for the rest of eternity, much like his boss theme,

Your Contract Has Expired

A song that switches around being scary, epic, energetic and desperate in a short, yet perfectly paced amount of time. You need to listen to it regardless of if you've played the game or not.

Fool.

Number 7: Judge Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

You can never say no to a classic.

There's nothing that I could say that hasn't already been said by thousands of videos on YouTube, but I'll try anyway: you see, Frollo is the reason why we need a new term to identify certain villains that aren't "sympathetic" but still make you feel some sort of human emotion and a form of "I wish someone could give you the care you need to fix your life", I guess the term empathetic exists, but when do you really see it used?

Now, don't get me wrong, Frollo is absolutely not sympathetic in the slightest, he wants to r##e a Romani woman that's way younger than him, but you can still feel that he's very troubled about it in the Hellfire scene and has definitely a lot of unidentified issues and internalised bigotry that could be worked through, even if it's too late to work through them right now.

In general, I feel like people forget that the main reason why past Disney villains worked had to do more with their human traits juxtaposed to their malice rather than just their plain wickedness, otherwise the Horned King from the Black Cauldron would be top of the Disney villains league and that couldn't be further from the truth.

We should really strive towards writing more villains like Frollo, less omnipotent beings that end up falling flat because they don't have much thematic relevance aside from being a threat (Bill Chyper works because he represents Ego and he's used sparingly) and more average vicious individuals who use their power and influence to get what they want.

All in all, if you've seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame, then you know why this guy is here, but just to cite a couple of repeated points, the Hellfire scene is perfect. It's immaculate. It's unreproducible; there will never be another scene like this coming out of the House of Mouse or animation ever again, the excessive amount of stars and elements that came together to create this gothic classic is so vast that it's literally a miracle.

Frollo is truly the personification of the dark, twisted side of humanity peaking through the door and into your mind, from which he shall never escape as his performance still remains perfect to this very day.

Number 6: The Spot (Spider-man across the Spiderverse)

"You've hit me with a bagel!" It's still the greatest villain origin story of all time. There's truly something maniacal about this reveal, like the entire universe was shattered and reality was shocked at the mere realization that while Miles was having his coming of age moment back in the first film, this guy was having his normal life completely and utterly shattered by a combination of both our heroes stepping up to do the right thing and our doofus lack of foresight and self reflection; all of this stuff is hilarious and completely made up for the film but good god they did such an amazing job tying all the elements together in an unexpected way that makes sense and parallels the journey that our protagonist faced in the first movie.

Like with Rob from The Amazing World of Gumball, and a little bit like number 2 on this list, I just really enjoy the concept of turning background characters who had no relevance whatsoever into the big bad of the story who's been there all along and the heroes (and the audience) just couldn't notice.

With The Spot in particular, there's that sense of satisfaction of turning the wasted potential of a villain who has been underestimated for literal decades and treated as a "villain of the week" (God do I love the meta narrative of this movie) into an actual competent, well written antagonist that is aware of his reputation and strives towards bettering himself and his powers.

He's also the funniest character of his movie too and the voice acting of Jason Schwartzman only accentuates his mannerisms and pettyness.

He also has the coolest usage of portals I have ever seen and his whole "There's a hole inside all of us" metaphor is simultaneously hilarious and very deep personal information that can only be understood if you put yourself into his shoes.

I can't wait for Beyond the Spiderverse to come out and see how his arc resolves, more importantly, I wonder if he's going to rank higher in the future.

Number 5: Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

"Happiness must be taken. And I'll take mine"

.....

What a character.

What a movie.

You cause so much pain and suffering, because you don't understand the people around you, and then those people banish you, and you can't understand why, so you start to believe that they hated you.

They never loved you, so you keep causing pain and suffering but it's not that easy anymore; the guilt starts to resurface, all those bodies keep piling up, but you can't stop because then it would have all been for nothing; so you keep chasing those dreams of grandeur because that's all you have left; the emptiness in your heart can no longer be filled by love, so you try to fill it with something else.

You try to fill it with power. You try to fill it with glory. You try to take everything else for yourself so that you can fill that cup, but it doesn't work, because that cup has no bottom.

And so you're left... with yourself.

And the damage you've done. But now it's different; you've failed. You are left with nothing. Nothing.

And so you outrage, for the last time... And then it all ends. Forever. And you've finally come to accept this, after all....... Who could ever love you?

Number 4: Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

You know, in retrospect, it's kind of insane what Toby Fox managed to achieve when creating Spamton.

Not only because Spamton feels like the most insane combination of ideas ever conceived, but also because Toby Fox created such a complex character with such a complicated language and personality and then not only shafted it all aside for the players to go out of their way to interact, but also made all of this in what are officially 2 or 3 cutscenes at most (4 if you consider his shop encounter as one) and only one of them being truly mandatory.

You spend so little time with Spamton, and most of that time is spent fighting him, and yet by the end of it you've become enlightened by the knowledge of him, that after a while... you forget how scary it all was.

All the memes comparing Spamton with Turbo are 100% correct and justified, Spamton truly is Turbo but better; you go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions with this character that you are left absolutely dumbfounded when it all comes to a stop and you go back to play the rest of chapter 2 normally.

His insane mannerisms and mood swings are pretty funny at first, but once you peel back the layers a bit they reveal a pretty realistic and sad portrayal of mental illness, mania and hysteria coupled with an unhealthy amount of social distancing, loneliness, and abandonment issues, that reinforce into your brain the idea of someone lacking proper healthcare and needing to be locked away from society for their (society) own good, simulating the vicious cycle that Spamton lives by: nobody wants to help him but he's still expected to act like a regular individual despite the amount of hardships he's facing and the lack of a support system keeping him from falling back into his bad habits.

I'll admit, I've considered putting Spamton in place of the Number 3 spot on this list; but then I've realised that on an objective level, the next entry totally deserves to be ranked above Spamton; plus, with at least 5 more chapters of Deltarune on our way, whose to say that one of the next gremlins won't be able to dethrone even the number 1 spot?

Drumroll for our top 3:

Nox, the Watchmaker (Wakfu)

There will never be another experience in my life as cathartic as watching the first season of Wakfu for the first time ever again.

On a later rewatch, the initial problems that you've noticed throughout the first half of the season and a little bit in the second half become too apparent to ignore, but the first time everything that goes from the ball tournament to the finale is one of the best paced arcs of television, and everything that happens when the team reaches the Sadida kingdom is just peak Wakfu.

And the king, the culprit, the crown jewel of properly paced stories and arcs is no other than the sad clockwork dilf himself: Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker.

Arguably, the greatest sympathetic villain of all time. There has never been another case of a character who has committed such vile, unspeakable crimes, and yet still managed to make me root for them while simultaneously not putting down the heroes.

And let's not be mistaken here, Nox is pretty evil:

Aside from the generic murder, Nox also defiled and stitched together the corpses of multiple victims and turned them into his obedient puppets in order to commit even more murder and genocide in order to achieve his goals.

Also, this is one of the funniest crimes Nox has committed: he abused his dog. It's really not that hilarious nor is it that important in the context of the show, but if you look back at it from an outside perspective then it's really like: Oh yeah. That happened too. Lol.

One of the best parts of his entire arc is his defeat. The "20 minutes" scene deserves a "One Villainous Scene" coverage video to forever immortalise it amongst the greatest. Everything from the music, the subversiveness, the cinematography, the voice acting and just the general art direction of it is worthy of an Eminem award at the Oscars, there's genuinely nothing wrong with this scene, it's truly immaculate.

Words alone cannot do justice to the treacherous, gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster that is experiencing his story for the first time. An hour long video essay would only serve to cover the basics and fundamentals, while for the real deal you need to watch the first season of Wakfu for yourself.

Number 2:

Bradford Buzzard (DuckTales 2017)

And now it's the perfect time to pull out my final wild card, the hole of the sink of my autism, the masterpiece of wasted potential that is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake of 2017.

When you'll also see the number 2 spot on my villainesses list, you'll come to realise that this spot is more of the "I really wish I could put this at number one but I can't because objectively he doesn't deserve it and the majority of things I love about him in canon were probably an afterthought and in fanon were never plausible to begin with."

And that's how I feel about Bradford Buzzard, an antagonist I spent more time thinking about than probably anybody else on the Earth.

The show runners were so genius for this: we are going to create an original character that will probably struggle to maintain a foot print on the franchise due to the way the Duck verse works, we'll give him an insanely cool backstory and motivation, all coupled with interesting character traits and ideology, we'll make him the ultimate foil to Scrooge McDuck that has been working with him for literal decades, we'll make him the one who has got the closest to isolating Scrooge and destroying his family, and THEN we'll turn him into a generic anime villain that shoots lasers and fumbles his own plan and loses because of insane plot armour and contrivance. Good job writers.

Anyway, I should probably make the case for why this guy ranks so highly in my mind to the point of almost taking the podium for my most liked villain of all time, especially when compared to the stiff competition that we just went through.

Now, part of it is just because this is a personal top 10 and so I can put whoever I want in whatever order I want. But also, with Bradford in particular, there's a personal aspect of relatability, various interests, and passions all coming together to make him stand out in my brain.

The thing is, I've had a pretty strong connection to Disney's Duck's comic books my entire life, even if my love for them came dwindling over time, so when I finally started watching the Reboot and it was amazing, all of that buried passion and love finally re emerged back to the surface, turning me into an annoying super fan. But while season 1 and 2 were great, season 3 actually gave me something to latch on for the rest of time even after the show had ended: the character of Bradford Buzzard.

You see, DuckTales, both in the shows and comics, always had a plethora of villains; from the crazy, megalomaniacal millionaires, to witches, demons, and other mythological creatures, to power hungry aliens, to straight up super-villains. But while all of that is true, there has never been another villain, aside from Magica, Glomgold and Rockerduck at traits, that was built specifically as the anti Scrooge McDuck, and even further, there has never been another antagonist who challenged the very core ideas and concepts of the entire franchise.

Bradford is like the Frank Grimes of DuckTales: just a regular, average, real world guy who's fed up with the nonsensical constant state at which their fictional universe operates and seeks to correct it in the most logical way possible. And while Frank was ultimately a victim of a world in which he couldn't conform, Bradford's outrageous and extreme plans and methods put him on everybody's hit list until he was left all alone, but not before indirectly causing every major disaster throughout the reboot's runtime.

A cold, calculating, machiavellian mastermind whose impact and presence secretly permeates the show, right till the very end.

Shame he wasn't written better.

And now, for the one and only,

Number 1:

Qilby (Wakfu)

Qilby is the biggest example of an anomaly that you could ever observe in a work of fiction. The first time experiencing a story is the most important and impactful moment of that story, as every future rewatch won't be as good as the first. In particular, this is an important aspect of twist villains, as they can only surprise you the first time, since at future rewatches the twist becomes predictable.

Furthermore, if the twist ends up ruining the character that was established up to this point, or it doesn't make any sense, then the story is kind of ruined and it only gets worse on future rewatches, since now you know that everything that you are seeing right now is ultimately worthless and doesn't provide any value.

So why do we love twist villains and keep churning them out? Well, you see, it's a matter of execution. A bad guy introduced in an unconventional manner is much more memorable than one introduced in a straightforward way; the twist can also serve to showcase different aspects of the character before becoming an obvious obstacle, be it quirks, interests, personality in casual settings, or cunning.

Let's not beat around the bush.

If Nox is the single greatest sympathetic villain of all time, then Qilby is by far the greatest twist villain of all time, and the crazy thing is, that he surprises you two times in a row, at first by revealing himself as more evil than you could ever imagine, and then, by outing himself as more complex than you could have ever anticipated.

Let me paint you the picture: you just finished the first season of Wakfu, and you are still pretty fresh of the hype surrounding Nox, so you think to yourself "Oh, now every future antagonist is ruined because nothing could ever top the emotional gut punch that I just went through. Whatever, I'm going to stick around just to see if the story gets worse" and you start the second season.

So far, everything is normal, even better of the first season in terms of engagement value, but you can't help but feel the lack of a Nox like figure inside of the story, but at this point, you just accept it.

Then the final six episodes roll around and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST GONE INSANE?

Somehow, in some mystical, french, magical way, the season 2 finale is arguably even better than the ending of season 1 despite the fight having less buildup and introducing a lot of brand new characters and an entirely irrelevant faction into his conflict.

The entirety of the scene in Emrumb is some of the best writing I have ever experienced in any work of fiction, and the music accompanying it only accentuates the repressed dopamine being released after various episodes of filler, all of them important for this moment to be as impactful as it is.

Qilby is also just a great, tragic character, that is simultaneously an unforgivable bastard that tried to kill his family and doomed his entire race for a family trip, and a sad, nihilistic man still trying to reconcile his love for his family and his need for knowledge and discovery; his curse never truly allows him to move on or relate to others but his ego and need for his forgetful brothers attention just pushes him even further into resentment, ending up damaging himself and those around him, until he's finally isolated again by the vary people he harmed and showed his love towards.

He's as good as the evil secret sibling trope can get and I never get tired of watching him on screen. His reveal scene to Adamai still gives me the chills to this very day and demonstrated me just how good the surprise villain concept can get when it's executed correctly.

Just an all around great show.

[sarascamander]

My favorite Sherlock x John retelling

1) Holloway Holmes & Jack Moreno from The Adventure of Holloway Holmes (book series).

- These two have the most special place in my heart. They are the healthiest, most adorable pairing I've ever encountered and I love them like my own sons. (And they are canonically together!!!!).

- they really said MISCOMMUNICATION WHO?? IDK THAT BITCH. Couple goal at its finest, really 😭🤌🏻 Jack will sit Holloway down an be like, "TALK YOU EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED MF 👺👹 ILY 🥰💞✨😻

- HOLLOWAY HOLMES IS MY SAD MENACING CINNAMON ROLL AND HE NEED A HUG.

- Jack Moreno is really out there casually being Holloway's #1 defender. He needs a hug too let me give it to you, baby 😭 (and this is a SPOILER but he IS a Watson. He just didn't know that).

- again, they are just ADORABLE. SICKENINGLY DOMESTIC MARRIED CRIME SOLVING BOYFRIENDS. And Jack's internal monologue is so fun to read, he's hilarious!!

2) Ty Blackthorn x Kit Herondale from TDA (book series)

- okay this is not technically a Sherlock retelling but they have the vibe!!! Ty basically fancy themselves Holmes and Watson and I'd do anything Ty told me to do.

- fella is it gay that you're waxing poetry for this boy who held a knife at your neck the first time you met? Kit doesn't care he's dying. He was too shocked at how pretty Ty is (I am NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING)

- HOWEVER they are the KING OF MISCOMMUNICATION. KIT HONEY I PROMISE YOU TY HAVE A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU.

- the way Kit adores Ty is peak literature. I CANNOT deal with their angst. I wouldn't survive it.

- hope they solve more crimes (and kiss!!) in the coming books. I'VE WAITED YEARS FOR THEM OKAY.

3) Sherlock Holmes x John Watson (BBC Sherlock)

- the first two seasons of them are SO ADORABLE.

- they matched each other's freaks so much. What do you MEAN John shot someone for Sherlock just a DAY after meeting him???

- I haven't watched beyond season 3 but I know what was gonna happen and maybe that's why they're kinda low.

- THEIR FANFIC IS FIRE. I LIVED OFF IT. WHENEVER AO3 WENT DOWN ITS LIKE MY LIFE SUPPORT WAS PLUGGED OFF.

- they aren't canonly together tho 😭😭

4) Charlotte Holmes x Jamie Watson from A Study in Charlotte (book series)

- I ate them up when I was 14. Still crazy about them.

- their relationship is SO COMPLICATED and low-key toxic. It makes me want to tear out my hair, it makes me want to eat paper and scream and cry.

- they love each other, they truly do. As far as I remember, they're still not canon by the end because Charlotte wasn't ready (and what happened to her was heartbreaking. I understand why she isn't ready to be with Jamie but it still broke my heart) 😭😭

- Charlotte Holmes can be BBC Sherlock's daughter. They are so similar in so many ways. And they are so destructive 😭😭 AND CHARLOTTE NEED THERAPY PLEASE GIVE THIS CHILD A THERAPY.

- Jamie just... He needed a break. Give him a break, you guys. He's tired and sad. He's only 17, he doesn't know anything but he knows he loves Charlotte.

- (I can write a whole essay about their relationships and of Charlotte. I think I did at one point lmao).

- okay now that I'm writing this should be at least the top 3. I'm ranking it 2 but I'm too lazy to move it up. This book is the one that got me into the Sherlock lore in the first place, I was obsessed.

5) Enola Holmes x Louise Partridge (I don't remember the characters name sorry 😭)

- I watched this movie on my ex bestie's birthdays when I was like, 14 so in a way I have a special connection to this movie

- but honestly I think it's boring lmao.

[lost-inanotherlife]

"White Rabbit" meta: a perfect episode. pt II

Here I am back with “White Rabbit” meta part 2! You can find Part I here if you want to take a deeper look, otherwise here’s a brief summary:

“White Rabbit” focuses on three main themes: water as death (Joanna dies drowning, Jack’s “dead” father is first seen in the sea, the losties have no drinkable water left on the beach); fathers as obstacles to their sons’ individuation process (in young Jack’s flashback Christian tells Jack who he is, i.e. not a hero, while we the audience clearly see that he does have “what it takes” to be one and make hard calls); looking for (water)/following (the image of the father) as a journey, for Jack, to confront his beliefs about leadership, taking responsibility and, ultimately, “growing up”.

For part 2 I think we now have all necessary info to tackle the episode last and subtlest theme: time is running out/ time has run out. The water in the remaining Oceanic Air bottles functions as a hourglass towards imminent crisis until they also eventually disappear. At the same time, Claire, who’s pregnant and a literal time-bomb in terms of responsibility, is clearly in distress and absolutely needs to stay hydrated more than anyone else on the island (common sense but also see part I reference to the “women and children safe first” rule).

As I’ve written, precisely when the losties look at Jack for leadership, Jack disappears into the forest following the “hallucination” of his dead father into the forest. “He’s gone” are the words Jack’s mother, Margo, tells Jack when she more or less commands him to go to Australia in order to look for Christian. Jack is also gone. (do you see? Looking for water, looking for the father, going “down under”, going down the rabbit hole, following the white rabbit… I swear, this episode is so good it gives me brain orgasms).

But what else is gone?

“Water’s gone […] the doctor [‘s] gone”

The character that will connect all these narrative threads is the same that utters the following words:

“When the others find out the water's gone it's going to get ugly. And when they find out that someone pinched it, it's going to get uglier. I'll go. Camp needs you two here, especially with the doctor gone. And besides, I know where to look”.

Amid all these characters that are looking for something/waiting to follow someone that’ll tell them what to do (in this episode Sun’s looking for guidance, Claire’s looking for commodities, Shannon’s looking for help… and I could perhaps go on but you get how beautifully written this episode is just with these few examples), John Locke knows where to look. And, true to his word, he does know.

While Jack follows his father/white rabbit/hallucination (brief note: please remember that Christian is wearing white shoes. It’s not important now but it’ll be in “316”, which is this episode’s counterpart, where we’ll discover the significance and centrality of the shoes with which Christian was buried), he falls into a cliff/rabbit hole-stand-in that goes directly towards a dry stream. The metaphor couldn’t be clearer than this.

Who saves Jack from said cliff? Well, our own very John Locke in one of the best moments of this tv show. I’ve said elsewhere that Jack and John’s relationship is not easy to define. Sure, Locke is Jack’s foil from a narrative point of view, that is very clear. What I mean is that they’re not clear-cut foils: they meet each other at their borders, their own limits and limitations, and they don’t always align. Well, to be fair they almost never align.

In “White Rabbit”, however, they do. Locke is presented not exactly as a father figure to Jack but as a mentor figure, a proxy (this word will be useful for the analysis of "316") the mentor Christian could never be for his own son. Locke gives Jack a few words of advice and encourages him to continue his search: Jack needs to finish what he’s started because “a leader can't lead until he knows where he's going”. Their journeys separate there but it’ll be more than enough because this moment (the one in the screenshot) will start a chain of fatal events that constitutes the show’s backbone.

Little aside: in the meantime our other losties are also looking for water and they think that Sawyer has been hiding it to trade it for goods. Sayid tells Kate “if you wait, a rat will always lead you to its hole”. Funny right? With all these talks about white rabbits and rabbit holes, Sayid compares Sawyer to a rat, lol. Much to say about this in relation to Jack but let’s move on.

So the Doc’s been found, what about the water?

After his conversation with Locke, Jack continues his search until we find him crying alone in the jungle in the most “Alice in Wonderland” scene EVER.

All of a sudden, Jack hears the sound of ice in a glass and, deciding to follow it, comes upon the caves where fresh, spring water is waiting for him. Water’s been found! And… what else? The association between Jack and Alice continues as Jack first finds one doll and then a bunch of them scattered on the cave’s floor. Because it’s a very curious happening (dolls? In the jungle?) his attention is taken away from his Big Discovery (fresh water! Life! Nourishment!) and it’s slowly directed towards… his father’s coffin. How fucking brilliant this scene is? No, seriously, tell me.

This moment seals what we’ve been wondering for the whole episode: following his dead father, confronting the reality of his death (Christian’s death is real, it’s not a hallucination) will lead Jack to water, to a life, to nourishment for the future. He needed to take his time with it and he needed to do it alone. To cry and feel lost. All four themes have been weaved together so we’re ready for the episode’s ending.

'Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead'" (Matthew 8:21-22)

Is it a LOST episode without a good old Christian (pun intended) reference? Of course not, so get ready for a bit of Christian lore.

In case we were wondering whether a character literally named Jack Shephard was intended as a Christ-figure by the writers, “White Rabbit” basically states that this is indeed the case, we can all cease wondering. Let’s have a look at the conversation Jack has with the Oceanic Air agent at the ticket counter:

JACK: Look, you can't do this to me. I'm ready to go now. AGENT: Perhaps another carrier? JACK: No! JACK: I want you to listen to me, okay. Because I'm asking you a favor, Chrissy. I'm standing in front of you in the same suit that I'm wearing to my father's funeral and I'm asking you a favor. In 16 hours I need to land at LAX, and I need that coffin to clear customs because there's going to be a hearse waiting there. And I need that hearse to take me and that coffin to a cemetery. Why? Chrissy, why can't I just bring him to a funeral home and make all the arrangements? Why can't I really take my time with it? Because... because I need it to be done. I need it to be over. I just—I need to bury my father.

I can’t even begin to comment this little monologue here because it’s just so fucking.perfect. TV writing at its peak, I’m telling you.

First off: Jack is obviously everything but ready to “go now”. Understandably, I must add. And, I mean, he even says so: why can’t he take the time with it? There really is no explanation for it but Jack’s direct refusal to deal with his father’s death. The irony is, of course, that it’s precisely his inability to “take time with it” that’ll lead him to the island. Where he’ll very much have to confront his father and follow him into the jungle like Alice and her white rabbit. Jack states a series of “needs” that are pretty self-evident but two of them strike me the most: “I need that hearse to take ME and THAT COFFIN to a cemetery” and “I need to bury my father”.

Well, the first is also pretty self-explanatory but I just wanted to point it out to tell you how beautiful I find it: Jack and the coffin are the same thing (empty, dead, lost, add what you want here the possibilities are endless). Looking for his father means finding his coffin… but also finding water and… Jack’s sense of personhood: I am my own self, I’m not what my father told me to be.

The “I need to bury my father” is a reference to the Gospel:

"Another of his disciples said to him, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father.' But Jesus said to him, 'Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead'" (Matthew 8:21-22).

Follow the white rabbit, follow the father and now FOLLOW ME: Jack’s ready (well… not really but I’ll come to that) to take responsibility and become the leader he can be.

Jack’s not ready because…well…. When he opens up the coffin, it turns out empty. So, in a literal way, he cannot bury his father. Also, in a more figurative way, there’s that little detail where Jack smashes his father’s empty coffin with a metal pipe so… I don’t know about you guys but this doesn’t exactly scream “I’m okay, I’m healing”, or "I'm moving on" lol.

As I’ve said in part I, “White Rabbit” seems to end on a positive note because of Jack’s famous “live together or die alone” speech but Jack’s mental health is far from okay. He does take responsibility and decides to step up and accept the burden they want to place on him mainly because of his profession (medical knowledge is power), but, as we all know, he won’t be a unifying leader (and, since we’re here, let’s also say that it won’t always be his fault like the show likes to portray). As a matter of fact, his “leadership era” actually starts with a division: one group’ll follow him to the caves and another will stay on the beach. So, not the best start after the rousing “we must all learn to live together” speech. They literally split in two after that.

“Now, I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley”.

By finding the water right on time (Jack says in his speech: “It's been six days and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out”) Jack established himself as the de facto leader of the group and the group’s sacrificial lamb.

His speech actually references Jesus himself (“A woman died this morning just going for a swim and he tried to save her, and now you're about to crucify him?”), although he compares Boone to Jesus, Boone who was the guy who had hidden the water because he wanted to create a need in order to emerge as a hero when he would eventually “bring” the water to the people. But even much deeper than that, Jack’s speech reminds me of this:

they are before the throne of God     and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne     will shelter them with his presence. ‘Never again will they hunger;     never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them,’     nor any scorching heat.  For the Lamb at the center of the throne     will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’     ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Revelation 7:14-17)

Jack is the Lamb that will be their “sheperd” and will lead them to springs of living water (the sea in the Bible is oftern portrayed as malicious/evil in contrast to springs of water that are nourishing/good). Jack’s the guy who’s found water in the valley. Who’s figuratively turned the undrinkable, deadly water they’re all surrounded by into fresh, drinkable water, the “living water” (let's all remember how LOST ends and how central "springs of water" are in the ending)

And how did he do it? How did he manage to accomplish such a heroic deed? By following his father, the figurative God of Jack's story. The father Jack can’t bury.

It's a bittersweet ending. Good for the people because they all now have fresh water and good for Jack as well because it's important that he starts to rebel against his own "internal" Christian Shephard. But, in the end, Jack's not moved on at all. He will need more time. He will have to... go back.

Okay, woah, finally we’ve reached the end of this meta! Would you like to read more meta along these lines? I was thinking about writing about “316”, “White Rabbit”’s companion episode as I’ve said. What do you think? Would you read it? Let me know!

[stitched-mouth-vs-the-world]

Welcome to Stitched's first Kinktober! I'm very excited to share what's in my drafts as I am very proud of myself for once. Chapters will be posted midday (BST) everyday, chapters that have been missed thanks to Tumblr will be posted today as soon as I can. If you can’t wait go to my Wattpad or AO3. Here's a run down of what to expect in this book:

Day 1: Master’s Whore (Creampie Kink)

Summary: Vincent Phantomhive fucks his maid just a room over from his 'happy' family.

Vincent Phantomhive x Fem! Maid! Reader (Fic)

Day 2: Making Porn With The Number One Pro Hero (Amateur Porn)

Summary: You had a sex dream about your boyfriend, the Number One Hero, All Might wants to make that fantasy a reality after you punch another All Might slut in the face.

All Might x Younger Fem! Pro-Hero! Reader (Fic)

Day 3:  Being FWB With Ramona Flowers (Casual Sex)

Summary: Imagine being FWB with Ramona Flowers.

Ramona Flowers x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 4:  Before Her Show (Behind The Scenes Fucking / Affair)

Summary: Imagine secretly banging the World's biggest singer.

Envy Adams x Scott's Sibling! GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 5:  Mommy’s Sweet Praises (Praise Kink)

Imagine Layla El Faouly with a major Praise kink.

Layla El Faouly x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 6: In The Dark Of The Night (Demon Fucking)

Summary: After arriving at and joining a Covent you so didn't want to join, Valak takes an unusual liking to you.

Valak x Nun! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 7: Just For Research (First Time)

Summary: When Rick discovers his top student is a virgin, he knows he must change that so she can write her paper on human pheromones.

Rick Sanchez x College Student! GN! Reader (Fic)

Day 8: Inappropriate Workplace Behaviour (Office Sex / Boss x Employee)

Summary: Lord Death can't stop jacking off to his decades younger secretary.

Lord Death x Younger! Secretary! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 9:  Naughty Girls Are Punished (Spanking)

Summary: Georgia decides to teach her mischievous girlfriend a lesson.

Dom! Georgia Miller x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 10:  Hot Ice (Temperature Play)

Summary: Nadia has always liked ice. It was always nice to crunch down on after a cigarette and you liked how cold it made her mouth feels. So by accident one nice, it joins you two in the bedroom.

Nadia Vulvokov x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 11:  Revenge, You Thought (Bondage)

Summary: John enjoys teaching his naughty little thing a lesson and you enjoy learning it.

John Brown x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 12: Car Hookups (Car sex)

Summary: You and Oboro regularly meet up late in his car for sex.

College AU! Oboro Shirakumo x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 13: Pegging L Would Include… (Pegging)

Summary: You manage to convince L to part take in a kink you've been wanting to try out.

L x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 14: Wet Fucking (Shower / Tub sex)

Summary: Whilst the Handler is away, you and Lila decide to make good use of the beautiful bathtub in the hotel.

Lila Pitts x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 15:  Insatiable Needs (Marathon sex)

Summary: When Steve is unable to satisfy his new wife's insatiable needs, he calls a friend.

Estefania x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 16: Mommy’s Baby (Lactation)

Summary: Carol's duty as a mother is to make sure her baby is always well feed. She's your Mommy now so she must make sure your well fed.

Carol from Cobweb x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 17: Bruno Needs A Spanking (Orgasm Denial)

Summary: Denying Bruno Madrigal an orgasm includes…

Bruno Madrigal x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 18:  Slowly Stripping (Exhibition)

Summary: Julieta can't help but find something so hot about being fully nude in front of her lover.

Julieta Madrigal x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 19: Choking and Gasping (Breath Play)

Summary: Morpheus discovers he loves the sound of hearing you struggle to breathe.

Dream x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 20: Edge You To Death (Edging)

Summary: Undertaker enjoys ruining your orgasms.

Undertaker x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 21: (Nun Fucking)

Summary: Sister Irene teaches you a holy lesson.

Sister Irene x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 22: Only Good Girls Get To Cum (Mirror Sex)

Summary: Ming forces you to watch yourself fall apart from just her fingers, just so you know how much of and dirty girl you are.

Ming Lee x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 23: Pegging Fantasy (Pegging)

Summary: Jaime tells you his biggest sex fantasy and you make it your mission to make it happen.

Jamie Reyes x Fem! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 24: Green Mommy (Monster Fucking)

Summary: Your girlfriend's new power has made your sex life a whole lot more interesting.

Jennifer Walters x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 25: Papa’s Pet (Public Sex)

Summary: Dr Brenner will absolutely use you teach someone a lesson about the consequences of trying to steal what belongs to him.

Dr Martin Brenner x Fem! Reader (featuring 001?) (Fic)

Day 26: Blindfolding The Snake (Blindfold Sex)

Summary: You blindfold your good boy and reward him for all his hard work.

Servant! Snake x Master! Fem! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 27: Othello’s Experiment (Pregnancy / Breeding Kink)

Summary: Othello's newest obsession is pregnancy and all the symptoms that come with it. You've so generously agreed to help him in his little experiment for his research.

Othello x Fem! Human! Reader (Imagine)

Day 28: (Threesome)

Summary: Nemuri, your girlfriend, is shocked to hear about a filthy fantasy you've been thinking about. But still, she's more than willing to help her lover made said fantasy come true.

Midnight x Mt Lady x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 29: (Vouyerism)

Summary: Gabe has been watching you for a while now and has finally decided it time to come out and introduce himself.

Gabe x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 30: (Size Kink)

Summary: Nana is big and buff for a woman. She is quite used to hearing negative things about her muscly figure. The first thing she's ever received a compliment about her body was when you, her young girlfriend and successor's older sister, make a comment on how sexually aroused you are by her big muscles and all the filthy things you imagine she could to do to you with them.

Nana Shimura x All Might's Sister! Younger! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Which ones are you the most excited for?

[shoot-i-messed-up]

please yap away abt the fic verse I love it sm <3 will Jill meet Jack and jim later on? Is Jack alive or is he dead alr?

YAY TYSM FOR ASKING <333333

Jill will meet Jack and Jim later on but most likely off screen or, like, not in the main fic. The reason is bc I’m only familiar with Jack from The Spectre (2001), and I’m only familiar with post-Johns Jim. So like. I think I have a very skewed perception of what those two are actually like, and I don’t want to write a character until I feel like I can accurately hear their voice when I write. (There will be a future Barry POV chapter and I genuinely feel like I’m on thin ice for that.)

Which is a shame because I knowww Jill would have Feelings TM about meeting these adult alternate versions of her brothers, and I could use that drama to get Jill to (uhh spoilers I guess lmao?) actually process that she chose not to go to her home universe, which means she probably won’t ever see her versions of Jack and Jim and Carol ever again.

And then Jack and Jim would both have feelings about seeing a young version of Hal. Like DILLH!Hal was the middle child, and he was the only girl, and he was somehow the only child who got physically abused by Martin. That’s a really interesting dynamic to me (I said, like a normal person).

I could get into the drama of how Jack was older than Hal, was “supposed” to “protect” him like big brothers should, and he actually was pretty hard on Hal himself as a kid. I imagine that he didn’t interfere because 1) he initially/partially bought into the narrative that Hal is being a troublemaker and should be punished 2) he was a kid and he couldn’t do anything about it 3) that helplessness turned into guilt once he got a little older and started to get the feeling it was wrong, and then that guilt turned into resentment towards Hal himself and 4) he didn’t want to jeopardize his own status in the family as the golden child. As Jack got older and processed all that shit while being estranged from Hal bc he fucked off to the USAF, I think he would’ve eventually reached out to Hal and apologized for all that. Or who knows? Maybe he’ll reach out during the timeline of DILLH, and we’ll get to see it onscreen. It’s kinda up in the air rn lmao. And anyway, if/when he does see Jill, who looks even younger and smaller than she did in his memory, he’ll feel even more guilt. yum <3

Meanwhile, I imagine DILLH!Jim would be like 6yo when Martin dies, and possibly he didn’t even know what happened until long after the fact. He was the baby of the family, after all. I think he would mostly be a little weirded out by seeing Jill as a girl because he mostly only saw Hal as a guy while he was growing up, since he’s so much younger and Hal transitioned fairly early on in life.

(And I have…absolutely no idea what Jessica Jordan would think about the abuse situation tbh. I’ve seen two characterizations of her: one where she’s sweet and genuinely loving towards Hal and another where she stifles his love for flying because she doesn’t want him to end up like Martin. My characterization for her in DILLH from Hal and Jill’s various comments has mostly implied the latter. And if Martin was beating up Jill, I can’t really steer towards the former much. If I give Martin’s abuse a more misogynistic bent, it might make sense if Jessica herself was abused by him. Idk. Thinking about it.)

I think I would have to do more research on how siblings of abused children experience that trauma, but those are my thoughts for now. PLUS I really need to figure out what are their canon characterizations because like, u gotta know the rules before u break them at least ykyk. I need to know the tune before I can riff off on it with my own reimaginings u get it u get it

On the subject of Jack dying, I am a huge wuss, and I don’t like killing characters (this will come up again Later). Jack died in The Spectre (2001) because Monsieur Stigmonus killed him and his wife in a car crash iirc in order to teach Helen Jordan some sort of lesson. In the DILLH universe, Hal won’t become Parallax and therefore will never become the Spectre either, so even if Helen is still cosmically special, Monsieur Stigmonus would probably not go to such extremes to teach her that the world sucks or whatever. I actually imagine Helen and Jill could actually be around the same age? Would need to do a little math on that, but that could be so, so fun. Cousins <333

(Just remembered. Helen will technically show up in DILLH but not in the way you think.)

[verdemoun]

Hi, happy new year🎊!!!!!!

I would like to ask two things.

1. In timewrap, what Abigail thinks about Bonnie?

2. And how are the holidays for them now, with the (almost) whole family together?

Thank you, and I love this AU ❤️

happy new year!!

abigail absolutely adores bonnie. bonnie helped out after john's death, and while abigail wasn't in the state of mind to really acknowledge bonnie's efforts she was massive grateful. bonnie is her 'if i got to tell one person about timewarp'. she's glad that bonnie got a life that did make her happy in the end, not so much the getting married and having a kid part, but she got to keep her farm and become more respected as a female ranch owner instead of just a woman. but secretly she wishes bonnie, the modern woman she was, got to experience the 21st century. she absolutely adores any change to go to the modern day macfarlane ranch and see the empire that bonnie truly pushed forward, as well as bonnie's descendants.

holidays!!

most of the holidays the gang all meet up at bessie's. it's not uncommon to see caravans and tents pitched in the yard like it's still camp in 1899, so they can spend entire days and long weekends together. from christmas to new years, most of the gang just live at bessie's house, which bessie absolutely loves and kieran loathes. he can't handle that many people using his bathroom.

christmas is a strange exception where no one is allowed to be there before 6pm, because a) bessie and hosea share the cooking load and both despise people getting in their way and b) most of the family units like to spend some time alone on christmas.

arthur cooks a late breakfast for charles and isaac while they spend the afternoon toying with whatever gizmos they got for christmas. eliza usually turns up for free food and to see what ridiculous things her son convinced his fathers to get him.

abigail insists on cooking lunch for her family, who all show up at bessie's like starving stray dogs begging for a snack because lunch was inedible. jack is, without fail, halfway through a new book he got for christmas and incredibly annoyed he's being dragged out of the house.

the macsummers household need the late start because they're both hungover from christmas eve and dealing with maeve who woke them all up at 5am to open presents.

every year micah turns up two hours late because he insisted he wasn't coming and had to be literally dragged by kai. then he gets all quiet and sulky because bessie still bought him a heartfelt gift.

annabelle and susan live up to wine aunt status and are both feeling very festive as they hand out gifts that definitely went over the agreed budget. bill is overdressed every year without fail and panicking about how stupid he looks in a dress shirt and tailored pants while they're lucky if arthur is even wearing his tshirt the right way.

new years eve is when the gang absolutely go feral. at least half of them thought it was their turn to get fireworks which results in the gang having enough gunpowder to blow a bridge up if they wanted. no matter how many years it's been seeing fireworks was such a rare occasion in the 19th century they all love them, so it's fine that the matthews house fireworks show lasts over half an hour. there's homebrewed liquor being passed around and they let dutch do the toast because man still loves giving speeches.

eliza usually ends up taking maeve and addie because the gang will always forget to have a designated sober person. the gang are completely out of their mind.

kieran ends up tethered to a tree so he doesn't run off. bessie is trying to start a war reminding dutch she won hosea in the end, with hosea sitting back watching them fight. bill is drunk enough to be comfortable with pda and won't stop kissing mac. it's the one night a year fun drunk jack appears and he's dancing on a table definitely not designed to support his weight. arthur and charles stuck off to the truck and are either fucking or fell asleep. the police are there and no one has noticed, except micah who is hitting on a cop and asking if he can press the siren button. javier's playing guitar again. not a single one will remember anything.

[destieltaggedfic]

Canon Divergence - Part 13

I'm back from my mini-holiday and I haven't had a lot of time to read new fic so its back to regular posting.

virga(e) – shineforthee   Ao3

Canonverse AU.  Drifting after John died on a hunt and with Sam still at college, Dean feels the need to go to Death Valley, expecting plenty of ghosts that will need to be dealt with.  Instead, he meets something that is not a ghost.  Castiel doesn’t know what he is, all he knows is that he hasn’t been able to leave the desert since he appeared there 26 years ago.

Word Count: 72k                              Graphic Sexual Acts

Windows – someonetoanyone   Ao3

Set S12 AU.  In the aftermath of Dean’s death with Amara, Cas is taking care of Sam and sometimes that is the only thing holding the angel together, but occasionally he slips and unleashes destruction in his grief, especially as Sam slowly starts to heal over the months.  Meanwhile Amara has Dean visiting people in heaven until it’s the right time for him to go back to earth.

Word Count: 20k                              No Sex

Do I Have To Say The Words - Tess_Lucetram   Ao3

Set S6 AU.  After an alternate civil war NOT involving Crowley, Dean and Cas slip into a relationship.  Sam lets slip that he worked out the handprint was actually an angelic mating claim and that the 2 are married in the eyes of heaven.  Just for a bit extra, while consummating their bond Dean gets some shiny new wings.

Word Count: 23k                              Non-Graphic Sex

One Drop, when What You Need is the Ocean – Baileys   Ao3

Set S12 AU.  Cas at first was missing for a few weeks and then Jimmy’s corpse was found, leaving Dean a wreck until Eileen happens to find him.  Now his grace is practically non-existent and both he and Dean are having strange dreams, which is making Cas remember the things that Naomi had wiped from his brain so many times.

Word Count: 47k                              Non-Graphic Sex

Chuck’s Vision - TheWritingPrisoner AO3

Set S15ish and S12. Chuck wakes up Sam and Dean from a vision of a possible future. A future where because they all didn’t stick together Jack was able to manipulate people and events from his birth in order to become god. Chuck also takes the time to point out a few characters flaws in the Winchesters and how they should fix them.

Word Count: 13k                                              No Sex

[m34gs]

Another Saw AU ask!

This time it is the housewardens (and the dorms) up for evaluation as Saw Apprentices! Please tell me on a scale from 1 star (lowest) to 5 stars (most) where the dorms rank on the following categories:

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms

2. Organization/Punctuality

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment

Hi friend!!! Another Saw AU ask! Thank you! This will be so fun to answer, I am putting so much thought into it!!! For those unfamiliar, my friend @kimium and I have a Twisted Wonderland Sort of Saw Franchise AU. See my pinned post for links to other posts regarding it and our AO3 series!

I'm so excited for this ask! Sorry it took so long, I've had a lot going on this week...but I'm here now! (Answers under a cut because this will be LONG lol!)

Heartslaybul

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 4 stars. Riddle, of course, is always on top of his game and courteous. Cater is no slouch either, when it comes to actually impressing other people with his manners. He's pretty good at putting on masks, after all. It's Ace and Deuce who need a little *reminder* once in a while on how to act and conduct themselves.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 5 stars. Mostly because of Riddle. He is always on time and his traps tend to run closest to their estimated run times. The rest of Heartslaybul is also punctual, lest they be hit with Riddle's signature spell.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 3 stars. While Riddle is definitely here for the Justice aspect of it, the others are a little...less good at upholding the ideals. Deuce is really just there because the boss (Riddle) is, and because he likes being able to work closely with Ace. Cater...well Cater's true ideals are as of yet undiscussed but you *know* he probably doesn't fully buy into the "appreciate your life and change for the better" lesson John says they're giving people.

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 4 stars. Riddle would obviously do his best to ensure rules are followed but also that appropriate break times/measures are also instated. Cater is picking up the rest with his bubbly persona and making an effort to make sure everyone has something at the workplace to smile about. It may be a dusty old warehouse or abandoned workshop, or any other number of derelict places, but Cater's gonna make sure his friends have a little happiness in their days. Ace mostly complains, rather than trying to make the workplace better (Ace would like to point out he should not be blamed for this as they are literally murdering people and so he does not think putting up decorations and eating fancy dinners together completely offsets that vibe) and his whining often gets him in a scuffle with Deuce (they may be dating but they fight like an old married couple) which does bring down the workplace vibe a little bit and thus keeps them from achieving 5 stars.

Savanaclaw

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 3 stars. Leona's attitude and outward demeanor detract from the rating. However, Ruggie works his ass off to get the job done and get it done *right*, and Jack doesn't like acting what he views as rude. The efforts of the two of them earn them the 3 stars.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 5 stars. Despite how he often skips classes to nap and doesn't seem to really care about meeting deadlines or being on time, I believe Leona can be pretty punctual when he needs to. He wouldn't be so good at Spell Drive if he didn't have at least some sense of timing and punctuality. I also think that, despite him still thinking John is bat-shit fucking crazy, Leona prioritizes punctuality for the trap because it CANNOT interfere with his daily life and responsibilities as a prince, so as to not garner suspicion. Ruggie is also very punctual, since he often works many jobs and would never allow himself to be docked pay for being late if he could help it. And Jack would consider showing up late to be rude and disrespectful, so of course you know he would strive to be on time. John doesn't really have an issue with any of them regarding punctuality, and the traps are pretty organized in order to ensure they don't mess with Leona's life.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 1 star. Leona doesn't give a shit about John's ideology, he thinks he's fucking crazy. The main motivation for him is to go along with it to protect his own (Ruggie, Jack, Yuu, Grim, himself, etc.). We all know Ruggie would do anything for money, but John isn't paying them. Leona is (as per the murder fic for their dorm) but he's only doing that to make sure Ruggie is on board and therefore safe from John. I also think Ruggie would get a bit too vindictive at times, which is again not the ideology John is trying to "teach". Jack tries but he has a hard time stomaching a lot of things.

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 2 stars. Let's face it, they're not exactly enthused to be doing these little projects. The 2 stars comes from Jack's attitude and respect. Ruggie and Leona do not contribute. (Ruggie would like to argue he makes the environment very positive. Jack tells him they are being evaluated on the actual work, not the sex afterward...)

Octavinelle

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 5 stars. If there's one thing these boys know from running a restaurant chain, it's professionalism. Even Floyd can play along, if he feels it suits his interests. And he finds this work very interesting.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 4 stars. Jade and Azul are always on time and ready to go. And, let's be real, Azul has his traps planned to death and back again, with multiple back-up plans for any possible issues he can think of. Floyd is hit-or-miss, depending on his moods. He shows up relatively punctually the majority of the time, but if something grabs his attention...good luck getting him to show up at all.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 3 stars. See, for the most part they do it right, targeting people who "deserve" it and using it to protect their restaurant and staff; an arguably noble cause. But then, there's the fact that Jade's motivations also stem from wanting to see what would happen. He's the type of person to put someone in a death trap just to see what would happen. While that curiousity is not completely out of line with John's teachings, Jade's sadistic enjoyment from it is. Everyone knows Floyd just does what he finds interesting and fun. He doesn't feel overly attached to making the victims have a "change of heart" or "learn something". He prefers when they suffer and die. (this is why he's not allowed to do traps by himself. Azul and Jade both know he'd likely get bored or angry and just kill the person himself. And that would land them in a little bit of hot water with John, which they'd rather avoid).

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 4 stars. Overall, Jade and Floyd have a pretty positive attitude when working on traps. Once in a while, Floyd gets restless and distressed or distracted and starts messing with things or throwing fits. However, given the nature of the work, it doesn't take much to pull him out of that mood. Azul is really the one where they lose points here. As much as he makes sure proper body mechanics are being used so as not to wreck their backs and cause injury, and puts in all sorts of safeties for their group to make sure they don't get injured while on the job, his work habits follow him even here. He doesn't take breaks when he should, worries and stresses over every little piece of the plan, and basically continues to be a workaholic.

Scarabia

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 5 stars. Kalim is the oldest son of a wealthy merchant. You better believe he knows how to be professional and cordial in a work environment. His attitude may be described as "casual" by some, but in reality it's more "welcoming", which bodes very well for professionalism. Jamil is professional in a different way. He would lean more toward the formal and polite side of it. Neither way is necessarily wrong. John enjoys talking with both of them and discussing their traps with them.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 3 stars. Kalim's downfall is that he can be a bit scatter-brained. I do think he'd be a bit more organized after having graduated, but I don't think his old habits would go away entirely. Jamil is the one who keeps their plans neatly documented in folders and binders and makes sure they have all the supplies they need. I would also like to point out that it is harder for Kalim to participate in this part because he really doesn't enjoy the murder part, so he tries as much as possible not to think about it ahead of time.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 3 stars again. This time, it's Kalim pulling the weight. Kalim is the one who sees this less as something he wants to do and more as something he needs to do. It's a responsibility. He wants the world to be a better place and if this is a way to make that happen, he will try. Jamil is where they lose points. Jamil is the one who would create the inescapable traps. He sees it more as a way to hand down judgement and punishment on "deserving" people, rather than a way to teach them.

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 4 stars. As solemn as the job is for Kalim, and as vindictive as Jamil can be, the two of them try to have a rather positive workplace. Kalim always makes sure they take lots of breaks, so as not to get exhausted emotionally or physically, and Jamil always has many snacks prepared. The one star they get removed is because Jamil can get a little self-righteous and go on rants at times, which kind of detracts from the atmosphere.

Pomefiore

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 5 stars. Vil is the epitome of professionalism. He will allow nothing less in all that he does. Epel sometimes grumbles about needing to be so concerned over how they conduct themselves when putting people in murder traps, but he begrudgingly goes with it, dress code and all. (Vil makes them wear clothes suited to the job. He has issues with the robes and masks, but he understands the logic behind the disguise and agrees that it is not something anyone would expect Vil Schoenheit to be caught dead in, and so it makes a very good part of his alibi).

2. Organization/Punctuality: 5 stars. They are never late. Vil will not hear of it. Epel came close One(1) time, and Vil lectured for a full thirty minutes after they finished with the trap. In all honesty, Vil really can't afford to have things running late. He has a very busy, very public life. He can't afford any suspicions. His traps are planned down to the minute, with a small window of cushion time to allow if things go wrong.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 4 stars. Vil, much like Kalim, sees this less as something he really wants to do and more as a solemn responsibility. Rook finds there to be beauty in giving people a chance to change, and there is beauty in desperation and what people are willing to do to live. Epel sits in the corner and questions if Vil and Rook are actually ok or if they need some therapy (they do, but like so does all of the Twisted Wonderland cast). Epel is the one who doesn't fully buy John's ideology. However, he is respectful to John (his granny would kill him if she heard otherwise) and they have many discussions about right and wrong, so John finds he cannot dock too many points based on Epel's attitude.

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 4 stars. Vil does his best to make sure they have scheduled breaks and enough time to complete the traps without causing injury to themselves. Rook tends to light up the workplace with his mannerisms, and I like to think he brings in art to their various workplaces because a beautiful workplace can be inspiring and good for the soul, or so he says. He would also be the type to come up with all sorts of activities and exercises for team-building in the workplace. Epel is the one most likely to be pouty or moody or be an unwilling participant in whatever workplace bonding activities Rook comes up with.

Ignihyde

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 1 star. Listen. Idia's idea of "professionalism" for this job is wearing pants when he monitors the trap from the comfort of his basement, with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he chews on some gummy worms. The 1 star is because Ortho is always polite and well-polished when he interacts with John and when the trap is running.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 5 stars. Idia isn't playing around. He would never let a trap interfere with the important things in his life (playing video games, defeating bosses, participating in limited-time events for his mobile games, etc.). He's gonna make sure his traps are set up and start and end on time. And, he's more organized than he looks when it comes to tech. His workrooms and everything may seem chaotic, but he knows where everything is and has his traps planned out to every little detail. Each trap is like a challenge, and he does like showing off.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 2 stars. While Idia and Ortho do make sure to trap people who follow John's criteria for victims, Idia is more in it for the challenge of building the traps and Ortho is mostly in it because his brother is (though he doesn't mind getting revenge on people who piss them off...)

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 3 stars. Ortho is very positive and charismatic and charming in the work environment. Idia doesn't talk to anyone aside from Ortho unless he absolutely has to contact John, and even then it's usually via emails and rarely in person. Idia's also not exactly known for scheduling appropriate break times. He tends to get very wrapped up in watching his tech and making notes on what to improve and seeing if the victim can beat them...he often doesn't take breaks for hours at a time, depending on the trap's runtime. (Idia would like to point out in response to this evaluation that the workplace is VERY positive for him. "Nii-san. Please leave your computer, it's been six hours," Ortho begs in response.)

Diasomnia

1. Professional Conduct/Mannerisms: 5 stars. Malleus is a prince. He has been taught manners and how to conduct himself in a regal way since he was young. Lilia used to be a general. He knows how to behave professionally in the workplace. Sebek and Silver both feel they should maintain professional demeanor, as retainers to Malleus. John doesn't always understand all their mannerisms, but he does chalk most of that up to them being Fae and likely having different rules than humans, and he finds they are always polite and cordial so he really has no problem with their conduct.

2. Organization/Punctuality: 4 stars. Sometimes, Malleus gets lost in his own world (he is a Fae, after all, so his concept of time is very different at times). However, Lilia can find him most times and with his teleportation it is easy to be there relatively close to on-time. The rest of them are usually on time.

3. How well they uphold the Ideals of the Job: 3 stars. While Malleus does see this as an opportunity to make the world a safer place for Yuu, he also sees this as a way to sate some of his curiousity about humans. That's not *exactly* what John was going for, but he'll take what he can get. The rest of Diasomnia is basically there because Malleus is. They're not as interested in the actual work. Sebek tries to understand and follow John's teachings because Malleus seems to find them interesting, but I think his main motivation is still more about Malleus than the actual ideals John is trying to impart. Lilia is mostly there to be a bit of impulse control for Malleus, let's face it. And Silver feels he should be there out of duty to Malleus. So, really, Malleus (and sometimes Sebek) is the only one who sort of tries to follow John's ideals.

4. How they contribute to a positive work environment: 4 stars. They do their best. Lilia brings a lot of positivity and fun to the workplace to keep it stress-free. However, when Silver tests out parts for the traps, it drives him a little up the wall and he has to leave the workplace. The rest of the time, though, the workplace is rather positive and relatively relaxed as they plan the trap and set it up.

There you go! The evaluations of the dorms as Jigsaw Apprentices!! Hope you enjoyed my answers, this was a very fun ask!