#need to try to not get stuck in this feeling but my god it's so hard . it's so fucking hard . god i'm so lonely

[luveline]

oh my god. steve harrington with a dreamy/luna lovegood like girlfriend would be so sweet! i feel like he would love how she’s always so kind and her head’s always in the clouds. he’d find her adorable, especially when she out of nowhere says something a little odd.

“What was that?” Steve asks. 

You aren’t talking to him, but he pretends you were. 

“I said, the sun doesn’t look very happy today.” 

Steve finds the sun, a white ache in his eyes behind a buffet of clouds. “I can’t tell.”

“Exactly.” 

Steve gets his arms under your armpits to drag you into his chest. You’re always content to be moved around, especially if it’s Steve doing the lifting. You slot yourself into his embrace unthinking. 

“I think you’d be much happier if you had a couch on the porch,” you say, “though maybe you’d suddenly like rock metal too. What do you think they have it for?” 

“Not sure. Afternoon people watching, maybe.” 

“Well, this is fun.” 

Eddie and Robin attempt to set up the sprinkler and water slide in the grass. Neither seems to have noticed that it’s too cold for this sort of play, both dedicated to the last day of summer. Usually you entertain either of them, partial to nonsense, but today you’ve stuck by Steve’s side. Probably because you’re cold. 

“I might get one, if you want one,” he says. 

“You know you can get a couch from the Salvation Army for ten bucks.” 

“And the bedbugs for free.” 

You laugh loudly, suddenly, before it chokes into a fizzy sort of giggle. “Most bugs are cute, but they give me the heebies.” 

“I don’t need any more strange creatures in bed with me, either way.” 

“You mean me.” You turn in his arms. He loves to feel it, your skin under his hands, the total ease you feel being smushed against him like two pieces of bread in the same pack. You jam yourself against him, your fingers working behind his neck. Cold. Rings tickling him, your fingernails scratching gently. “But I’m not a creature,” you murmur, “and I won’t be in your bed again, if that’s how you feel.” 

“Then who will help you fall asleep?” he asks. 

“I volunteer!” Eddie calls. 

“He looks like he gives a good back rub,” you say. 

Steve tips you away from him. “Idiot.” 

“Steve, doesn’t he?” you ask. “Eddie, come over here and rub our backs.” 

“Stay where you are,” Steve says to Eddie firmly. He pushes you away from him, trying his best not to laugh as you giggle and whine at being pushed. “Get lost.” 

“I’m going to take my shirt off now.” 

“For the back rub?” Steve asks, whiplashed. 

“No, doofus, for the water slide! Why would I take my shirt off for a back rub?” 

“I’ll show you why.” 

“I already know you’re good at them,” you say. 

“I’ll show you again.” 

You pause. A smile stretches over your lips. “Mm, okay.” 

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Training

I am back with this AU :D @spotaus

This drabble is a lot earlier than the last few drabbles. shortly after Nightmare's first birthday, and kidnapping.

The gang decides they should really start to learn more about their new powers :3

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

*------------------------*

Cross nods as he crosses his arms “You guys ready?”

Dust looks very unhappy to be up already, Horror is next to him trying to get him to stand up. Killer just grins and salutes “Yes sir!” and he throws in a wink.

Cross ignores the obvious flirt as he tells his own body to cool it. Not the time nor place.

Cross takes a deep breath and continues on with what he was saying “Good! It is time we do something which we should have done long ago.”

Killer raises a hand “Make out more?”

Dust just keeps laying in the dirt. Not making a single move to get up “We already do that now.”

Killer nods “We should still do it more.”

Cross sputters and glares “Training! We need to train!” They had tugged Nightmare in for a nap in a nice warm little nest in a sunny spot nearby them. He is still sound asleep and hopefully he will sleep right through this all.

Cross has high hopes for that as Nightmare seemed to hardly wake up whenever they made noise.

Cross glares at the two on the ground “I am serious!”

Horror chuckles and stands by his side “Calm Cookie.” And he rubs his shoulder and Cross feels part of him melt as Horror smiles at him. God what did he do to deserve them all?

Cross feels reassured and turns back to Killer and Dust his two more unmotivated mates, oooh he is still not over the fact he can call them his mates now! “I am serious! We need to practise our new powers!” especially with Nightmare suddenly getting new powers as well. They need to be prepared.

If… if anything like that kidnapping happens again… Cross had been so lucky his powers just… worked with him instead of doing the normal uncontrollable flickering in and out of view. They need to practise this and work on it! They need to be ready!

Killer sighs as he leans on his hand “How do we plan to do that exactly? I don’t have something that we can just work with without going around town and telling lies and hoping it doesn’t backfire. And Dusty still shocks us when he gets overcharged.”

Dust just points at Killer as if to say ‘what he said.’

Horror hums “May be hard… but we need to practise and learn. Having the powers and magic won’t be useful until we can control them and know their limits.”

Cross nods “We can’t count on powers we can’t control. Even if we can’t control it we need to at least understand our limits a bit better.”

Killer pouts “You guys are my limit.” Then he grins and winks as he finger guns at them “And my weakness.”

Dust groans from the ground as he just covers his face with his arm “Can’t believe I agreed to this madness.”

Killer grins and pokes his cheek “You did! And now you are stuck with me!” Killr sounds very happy about it.

Cross glares “Guys I am serious! What is Nightmare gets taken again and we can’t do anything because we don’t understand our powers!?”

Killer’s face grows dark as he crosses his arms “Won’t happen again.”

Cross glares “We don’t know that. That is why we need to practise and learn.” He checks his mates. Killer sighs but gives in with a pout and a nod. Dust may not have moved but he is still here which counts. Horror had been down for this idea from the start.

Cross nods “Good!”

Dust speaks from the ground “How exactly?”

Cross frowns as he thinks “well… we need to figure out what triggers the powers… So try some stuff…” He stands up taller “I will go first!” It is easy! He did this before. He knows how to train and practise new skills or ideas for moves. He just needs to get in the right mindset.

Horror nods and joins Killer and Dust, forcing Dust to sit up right as well.

Cross takes a few deep breaths. Something about his magic makes him able to be invisible. Lets try that first.

He thinks about hiding. About staying out of sight. About following people quietly.

Cross opens a socket but sees this three boyfriends still watching him. Okay. He is still visible.

Mmh.

Cross closes his sockets and thinks. Hiding. Being invisible. Not being noticed.

No exclaim that it worked.

Cross stops as he taps his chin in thought. He is doing something wrong with this. He doesn’t even feel his magic react to his request.

Killer leans on a hand as he watches “No luck?”

Cross shakes his skull “Not yet… It doesn’t react to me thinking and wanting to hide or anything like it… I figured that would be a trigger at least.”

Horror frowns “Nothing?”

Cross sighs as he rubs his neck “Nothing.”

Dust yawns as he watches “Maybe it wasn’t hiding. You weren’t exactly hiding when you went after those assholes who took Nightmare.”

Cross frowns and shakes his skull “I was thinking about following them and not being noticed.” Neither worked.

Dust yawns “I would say you were doing a bit more than just being not noticed or following them but sure. It is a start.”

Killer shoots Dsut a look “I mean. We always notice him anyway.”

Dust snorts and nods “Very true.”

Horror looks at both of them disapproving but shoots him an apologetic smile.

Cross however knows he has a frown on his face. Thinking back to when his powers tended to activate… Generally it was when he wanted to hide or not be seen. But when he thought about more context to when he wanted that. Then it only happened when he was already nervous about something. Normally in some way related to them being discovered and found. Or more specifically, Nightmare being found.

But when it reacted? When it actually did what he wanted and needed? It was when he was focused on hunting down the pieces of filth that took their babybones…

Cross takes another deep breath and focuses. He thinks back to that mad dash. That rushed feeling. The need to get his baby back to his side right that second.

That is when this power had answered. That is when he had had most control. Without even needing to think. It had moved and done what he wanted without having to focus.

It isn’t about focus.

It isn’t about control.

It is about trust.

Cross forces his shoulders to relax. Focusses on the trust he feels in his mates. The trust in himself to do what he can. That he is able.

“Cross you are doing it!”

Cross opens a socket and watches as patches of him are hidden and others aren’t. It doesn’t feel like being gone or being unnoticed… It feels like parts of him are covered in a thin blanket. Cross mentally grabs it and just imagines wrapping himself with it.

And he is gone from view.

“Cross you did it!” Killer cheers “Way to go Crossy!”

Cross however has no control. It is like how he trusts his body to catch him when he jumps off something. How he trusts his body to run and catch him. How he trusts his movement.

It isn’t just a power he can lead or learn to control. It is different. It is like his body.

Cross takes a few steps around. Noticing that he is completely silent as well. huh. Strange. Still Cross speaks just to test “Seems like it isn’t only sight. My steps are much more silent than I am used to.”

Dust tilts his skull confused “Well.. .when you speak we can hear you just fine…”

Horror hums “Like when you want to speak you are obvious. But otherwise hidden.”

Cross shakes his skull and his mates blink confused at him. Cross glances down and sees his is visible again. Huh. As soon as he wanted-no, tried to communicate nonverbal he became visible again.

It isn’t focus. It isn’t thought.

Cross looks up at them “It is instinct.”

Horror, Killer and Dust all share confused looks before looking at Cross.

Cross shakes his skull as he tries to put his thoughts into words “It is instincts. These powers? It is more than just power or magic or movements. It is more than skill. It is about…” he can’t find the words. It is so strange. He is used to having to practise and work and try again and again. Failing over and over until you finally get the basics and then you work from there.

The powers are still finicky. Unpredictable. But they are there. Ready to work at just the right… need? Want? Wish? Hope? Anything for them to work.

Killer hums thoughtful “huh… maybe that is why my stuff just… acts the whole time? Because when I tell white lies I want people to believe it? So it just does the thing…” He frowns “especially with the woman in fur and mud… explains why she hasn’t tried to sue us yet.”

Dust glares at him “Don’t tempt faith…” but he leans on his leg “Doesn’t explain my stuff… the static just grows a lot… and if I don’t use magic we get another thunder storm situation.”

Horror shakes his skull “it does make sense. You want to protect Nightmare. Be ready. Your magic and body and power work together to have everything it needs to act right away.”

Dust frowns before huffing as he looks to the side “Whatever.”

Cross feels his soul give a little flutter. Can you blame him?! Dust looks so embarrassed wit his tiny blush!

Killer grins as Horror “Your turn H!”

Cross nods and quickly changes places with Horror.

Horror seems to think as he stands there. Considering the ground for a moment before making a pulling motion.

The ground shudders and a tiny piece of ground seems to slowly move over while other ground moves to fill in the space left behind.

Killer sighs as he leans against his knee as he stares “Looking good!”

Cross can’t help but agree. Horror has somehow figured his stuff out just passively. By careful and gentle nudging and feeling the powers out. He hadn’t been able to explain just muttered about moving what felt natural.

Killer had sighed wishfully that he wished he could do that stuff.

Cross for one is happy Killer doesn’t have this power. He would either try to dig a very deep hole or just make a very large tower. Cross isn’t sure which option would be worse.

Horror shrugs as he moves back to the group. He joins them and Dust leans against his side. Staring hard at the ground that moved so effortlessly for Horror.

Cross smiles at Horror “amazing.”

Horror shrugs as he mutters “It is physical. I don’t create or destroy stuff. It is about moving stuff one way and pushing other stuff to fill what is left…” he shrugs.

Dust chuckles as he just leans against Horror “That is amazing…” he stares at his own hand and frowns.

Horror just pulls him closer as Killer leans happily against Dust with a large grin “Your lightning is real cool~” Killer lowers his voice in a purr as he keeps staring at Dust. Cross isn’t sure if Killer is trying to flirt right now, or force Dust to believe what he says even if Killer knows his power doesn’t work against them. Killer just continues to talk when he sees Dust roll his eyes. Killer purrs and just lays on Dust as he purrs at him. Dust looks away from him with a tiny blush.

Killer grins and purrs “So much power. Just at the tips of your fingers. Only thing keeping it from exploding and destroying everything is your control and stubbornness to keep it tempered down~ Yet not once did you ever zap Nighty with it.” Killer grins wider as Dust starts to blush and look embarrassed.

Yeah. Cross gets it. Killer can get intense with his affection… Cross also still gets overwhelmed with it.

Cross is happy they know how to help Dust. It sometimes stings a little that those three had already been so close long before Cross joined them. He notices it with moments like these. When he is lost in what to do or how to act or help and-

Oh no Kiler is watching him.

Killer looks at him critically before grinning and pulling him closer until he is right up against Dust and Killer expends to cover both their laps.

Killer grins at Cross with a clearly mischievous look in his eyes “Great idea Cross! And you figured your stuff out so quickly! You just needed a moment to learn and study your skill and boom! You understand it! and thanks to that we could better understand ours! Fucking brilliant and fucking talented. Skilled beyond believe and you know yourself and your magic so well which just makes this so much more impressive!”

Cross knows he is blushing. He tugs his little bandana up to try and cover part of his face. His bandana had been a gift from the others… because he mentioned how he used to have his own bandana much like blue used to have. And they just got him a new one. It is a nice grey one with purple stripes. It is soft and fuck now he is just more embarrassed as he tries to hide from Killer’s compliments with the very gift his mates gave him!

Horror doesn’t stop it. Instead he just smiles at them with that handsome little smile as Dust and him just have to suffer through the storm of compliments.

Killer grins as he looks so happy as he just stares up at them from his spot of honour “And then you guys just look fucking amazing when we have some time to ourselves as well.”

Cross glares as he feels like his skull will explode and he hisses “Killer. Not with Nightmare so close.”

Killer laughs and winks at them “It is fine. He is asleep anyway-”

A small yawn “Are we cuddling?”

They turn around and spot Nightmare standing next to them. One hand rubbing his sockets while he other is holding unto one of the blankets from his other nest.

Dust is quick to focus on their baby “We are taking a break from practise. You slept well?”

Nightmare yawns again and climbs over Killer to get to the spot where Cross and Dust sit against one another. Nightmare gets to his spot which makes him able to snuggle into both their sides. A happy little hum as he closes his sockets.

Cross carefully takes the little blanket and tugs it around their little child. All cozy and comfortable.

Killer’s purring has only grown in volume as he watches them. Perfectly comfortable to lay across their laps with Nightmare snuggled in against all three of their sides.

Horror pulls them closer and sighs happily “A break sounds perfect.”

Cross laughs and nods. Sure they hadn’t practised much yet but they already got their goal completed. Which was to better understand their powers.

Now? He just wants to enjoy this moment. How comfortable and loved he feels between his mates with their son.

*------------------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 17

Back to regularly scheduled programming.

Loop #462

Grian: Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy what do you mean you got a child!?!

Jimmy: Oh you know... it just happened.

Grian: ... HOW DOES IT JUST HAPPEN!?!?

Jimmy: Listen! Listen Grian. It was Tango who broke the fabric of reality.

Grian: Just... what loop did you get her from.

Jimmy: Fear and Hunger.

Grian: ... I... Jimmy mate...did you adopt the god of fear and hunger?

Jimmy: Well... Scott and Tango did too.

Grian: yhbdggfsthxayhcsdgnptsdjkogf kfarjnf ghjvJimmy Jimmy Jimmy what!?!? (Canon accurate noises)

Loop #465

Pearl: Mate, how long is this loop going to be?

Mumbo: I... have no idea.

Pearl: Ugh, why are we even in jail? I got nothing from loop memories.

Mumbo: Crimes? Probably?

Pearl: No shit.

Mumbo: Pearl!

Pearl: We should break out.

Mumbo: What!?

Pearl: I said we should break out.

Mumbo: ... Alright.

Loop #467

Scar: Grian, where did you-

Grian: Scar, this loop is going to be great!

Scar: It is?

Grian: I present to you, the tardis!

Scar: ... Oh! Is this a ...uh Doctor Who variant?

Grian: You bet it is!

Grian: So, anywhere you want to go?

Scar: Oh uh... Hmmm... I need references for a castle I'm building.

Grian: Middle ages, reinassance or?

Scar: I uh... castle? Like regular castle?

Grian: Let me think... 12th century should do.

Scar: What is that!?

Dalek: I am a Dalek.

Scar: A Daklek.

Dalek: Dalek.

Scar: Dilek? Dalk?

Grian: A Dalk!?! Pfttt-

Dalek: Exterminate!

Grian: And now is the time where we run.

Scar: Wait if you are the doctor am I a companion. Am I going to die or be stuck as a robot or something.

Grian: ... No.

Scar: Well It's just-

Grian: You aren't dying. I promise.

Grian: ... Out of all the companion's fate getting to replace the toymaker is hardly the worst one.

Scar: I didn't know vex magic could work on gods!

Grian: Eh, to be fair the whoverse gods are pretty weak compared to others.

Loop #450

Grian: I always told you that you were like a vampire!

Mumbo: ... I don't appreciate this.

Grian: Oh come on Dracula, at least you get to use new magic.

Mumbo: I can't leave during the day Grian! It's pants! I can't go on my bike trips!

Grian: I mean, can't you go during the night? It's not like anything can hurt you.

Mumbo: Of course no- ... Wait... Hmmm...

Mumbo: Grian mate, can I please come in?

Grian: Hmmm...nah.

Mumbo: G, mate, please?

Grian: Nope.

Mumbo: You spoon! Let me in!

Loop #473

Grian: You haven't named her yet? You can't possibly call her The Girl forever.

Tango: Not really, namificating is not something you can just do and she doesn't mind being referred as the Girl.

Grian: Does she have literally any other name you could use!? A nickname? A middle name? Her mother's maiden name.

Scott: Technically the Ancient One.... though the Endless if you consider that to be her mothers maiden name.

Grian: You are not naming a child The Ancient One... or the endless.

Scott: You named your children Grumbot and Jrumbot.

Grian: It's ...different!

Scott: Huh uh. Of course.

Jimmy: Grian Isn't fully wrong though.

Scott: I know... It just feels weird to think about.

Tango: Maybe we can start from her...title?

Scott: Girl or Ancient One? Both are awful names full offence.

Jimmy: Maybe Ancient can become An-something. An-uh...?

Scott: Uh...you mean something like Anne? Annie? Anita? Angela?

Jimmy: Exactly!

Tango: Hmmm... We should try asking her if any fit...

Scott: We have a name and a middle name too.

Tango: We wrote down some ideas and had her choose.

Mumbo: Oh!

Grian: Finally.

Tango: Anne Fair Tek.

Grian: That's a good name- Wait wait wait... Fair...Anne... Fair and Anne. Fear and Anne-ger...you.

Scott: Oh, he's quicker then I tought.

Grian: You named her after a pun!??! I- am... I don't know how to feel about that.

Tango: She liked Anne best ok? she chose it. I just had to at that point.

Scott: Don't tell Jimmy though, he hasn't realized it yet.

Loop #476

Pearl understood why this happened, she really did, but she also didn't think she would enjoy it, looking at her loop memories it seemed she was stuck in Double Life after winning... It was exceptionally lonely.

It had been two days when she realized she could just leave the server pretty easy, the Watchers might try to stop her but she was also a goddess multiple times over. Yet, she also wanted to see how long it took for someone to come back to search for her.

The answer was two weeks it seems, she was almost starting to consider the "leave the server" option but she was glad she didn't. Now the players here probably expected her to be insane or rabid, instead they were going to find her tending to her newest build.

The fact it took a day for them to even try to approach was indication of how scared they were of her, it was funny really, she just had a lovely day working on her garden and base during the whole thing.

Pearl: Hello there mate!

Scott: Pearl!?

Pearl: That's me!

Scott: ... You aren't... attacking me?

Pearl: Oh why would I? You sacrificed myself for me! It's not like you do it for everyone.

Pearl didn't want to hurt Scott, even an unawoken version of him, this didn't mean sshe couldn't use her knowledge of him to be annoying. And she could see him react to her comment, acting ignorant was so fun sometimes.

Scott: O-oh. I see you built a new base?

Pearl: Yeah, had nothing to do for a while.

Scott: I- ... Sorry-

Pearl: Oh don't worry. Want some apple juice?

Scott: Apple juice!?!

Pearl: It's like water? But with apple flavour and made from crushed apple?

Scott: I know what apple juice is Pearl, I just didn't -

Pearl: That's good then, want some?

Scott: ... Uh...sure?

In the end her and Scott talked a bit and then he left very confused... Then after a bit came Grian and she decided she was going to have some fun, just a little bit.

Pearl: Hey there mate, want something to drink?

Grian: uhh... Sure?

Pearl: We got juice, tea, water, spiders, coffee-

Grian: Spiders?

Pearl: Oh sure here you go!

Grian: Wait no that's not what I meant-

But she had already started poaring spiders into his cup.

Loop #479

Grian: I had the weirdest variant loop.

Mumbo: What was it?

Grian: It was Last Life except for one thing. One horrible thing.

Mumbo: ...??

Grian: You know that time I took your mustache?

Mumbo: ... Yeah? Grian: Everyone. And I mean everyone had a mustache except for you.

Mumbo: ... Ew.

Grian: I know! I don't know which is worse! Your face is all like weird without a mustache.

Mumbo: ...Thanks...

Grian: No offence.

Mumbo: Just go on G.

Grian: But seeing Jimmy with it was almost as cursed! It doesn't look right on him or Cleo or ...Etho! Etho had the mustache over his mask!!

Mumbo: ... How?

Grian: I don't know! That's the problem!

Loop #481

Grian: How do you even have Anne join the server? Most of the time whitelist is strict.

Tango: Made her a full player a few loops ago and then just tell X that she's my daughter.

Grian: And he believes it?

Tango: It's not a lie.

Grian: Eh. Guess not.

Tango: And even if he didn't he might be the owner but I'm an admin as well and the other admins would back me up too.

Grian: ...

Tango: I want to ask you a favour.

Grian: ... Let's hear it.

Tango: You... you know fear magic don't you? From your TMA loop as The Eye?

Grian: So Scott told you about that? Yeah.

Tango: Anne... she might not have been to the depth but I know that despite still being a little girl she is in part the god of fear and hunger she can become.

Grian: ... So?

Tango: I just want you to teach her, Scott will help as well since he was of The Vast in that loop.

Grian: Sure, god of fear and hunger implies a second part too doesn't it?

Tango: We are working on it... We might ask Famine from the good omens loop but it's a bit more complicated.

Grian: Alright, I'll do it.

Prev Next First

[redsrooftopprincess]

Assassin, Part 4

Warning: alcohol, graphic description of a bipolar crash and panic attack (or, at least how I experience them). Please take care of yourselves and don't read if you think it might trigger you. Much love to my fellow rapid-cyclers. 💚

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Stepping into the foyer, the soft darkness envelopes him. Holding the door gently, he makes a futile attempt to mitigate the screaming hinges, before giving up and just closing the damn thing.

He's tired. It feels like he's been running a marathon, and as far as the exhausted muscle in his chest is concerned, he has. It's been pounding like a god damn drum, nonstop, for hours.

If you asked him, he couldn't tell you a word that was said during the ceremony. You'd consumed his senses, filled them completely. He only looked away from you once, to fumble in his pocket for the ring, otherwise he couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over every inch of you. He caught your scent on the evening wind, and the spinning in his chest turned faster.

He tried to hold onto his thoughts, but they ripped from his grasp as they started to spiral. He clenched his jaw, he had to hold it together. He was the Best Man at his best friend's wedding and he had shit he was responsible for. But his mind has always been a bigger beast than he is.

Look at her.

Fuck, she's beautiful.

She's perfect.

Your kind of perfect.

This will never be you, you know.

Freak.

Unwanted.

If you were human, you'd be together already.

If you were human, you'd probably be engaged by now.

Why does she waste her time on you?

All you do is drag her down.

Chain her to the sewers when she should be living a real life.

With a real person.

Why?

Why do you do that?

Why are holding her prisoner just so you can feel better about yourself?

He couldn't hear past the rush in his ears, but he was vaguely aware that there was cheering around him. Then you'd turned to look at him, smiling like the sun, and the answer crashed over him like a violent wave.

You're a monster.

He stops just short of the sitting room, eyes closing and jaw clenching, as the memory floods him.

You'd turned to him and smiled and for one moment everything stopped. You were the only thing that existed in the universe. You *were* the universe.

That's when he hit the wall.

A sharp inhale was the only outward indication of the crash. But inside, he was screaming.

You're light streaked through his veins like fire along saltpetre. Burning away all pretense. No matter how much he wanted, no matter how much he needed, he would never be more than this. He could dance with you, sing with you, laugh and cry with you, but he could never ever love you.

Unacceptable.

Unworthy.

Unloved.

The guests in attendance began to disperse, while the bridal party stuck around for pictures. Through the smoke haze he could see very little, and could hear equally as well, though his body seemed to know what it was doing. He had no choice but to trust it.

His heart was pounding, and he's pretty sure at some point Casey thanked him, but his only thought by that point was to get away from everyone.

As soon as there was an opening, his body excused itself and made for the house. He was winded by the time he reached the side opposite the party, the panic attack threatening to consume him.

He put a hand on the wall, leaning against it with his head down, trying to breathe through the burning. His hand flexed and the antique wood siding of the house cracked under his fingers. He ripped his hand away, scalded.

You destroy everything you touch.

He'd stumbled backward, staring at the spiderweb cracks left behind by his fingers, a dry sob escaping him.

What hope does she have?

Eyes closed tight, he balled his hands into fists and pushed everything down. Get it together, he'd berated himself, you still have shit to do.

Three deep shuddering breaths and then he could breathe evenly. He locked the panic down tight and opened his eyes. It would hit him later, and twice as hard, but this was more important. Just a few more hours.

The reception was a blur of flashing light and discordant sound, and he avoided you for most of it. Or tried to, anyway. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape you.

Four separate times you had hunted him down and begged him to dance with you. And as the champagne flowed, and the night spun on, you became harder to avoid.

"Boo!" you said, peeking around the bar at him, grinning. Your cheeks were flushed pink from drink and dancing, and your scent wrapped around him with the night air. He tightened his jaw and tried not to breathe.

"Yoooouuuuuu've... been avoiding me," you accused, slinking around the wall, practically lying against it.

"Busy," he rumbled, starting to mix a drink for no one, and not looking at the siren calling to him.

"Oh come on, Red," you'd pouted, standing up from the wall, "The night's almost over and you haven't danced with me once." You walked over to him "Please? You've been working this whole time, come have some fun. I promise the reception won't fall apart without you." You teased, placing a hand on his forearm.

He froze the moment you touched him. He was shaking and he prayed to anyone who would listen that you wouldn't notice. The last thing he needed was you knowing that something was wrong. you cared about him too much, and your knee-jerk would be to fix it.

His hand tightened around the high ball and Mike popped his head around the corner like a god damn superhero, "Hey, they need you for the bouquet toss."

"Okay, one sec," you replied, and he disappeared again. "Please try and have *some* fun tonight?" You squeezed his arm gently, before letting go.

When you removed your hand his skin burned, and it wasn't until you were out of sight that he risked breathing again. He'd set down the glass, braced himself on the bar, and closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the cracks in the glass where he'd been gripping it too hard. He drew a deep breath.

He wasn't going to make it.

Snatching the bottle and leaving the broken glass, he made for the house. He skirted the perimeter of the reception, trying to be as inconspicuous as a 6'5, 350lb, bipedal turtle dressed in a tux can be.

He heard the countdown and made the mistake of looking over as April's bouquet flew through the air. You weren't even trying, you were talking, but, as if the Gods were punishing him, it had landed in your hands anyway, and he felt his pounding heart clench.

He watched as one of the other guests came up to you and placed a very human hand on your arm, presumably asking you to dance.

It will never be you.

He turned and continued toward the house until he heard familiar clumsy footsteps coming up the hill behind him.

"Hey, where's the fire, Red? Oops!" You'd said, giggling as you nearly tripped.

Your voice pierced him like an arrow, pinning him in place. He tried to take a deep breath as quietly as he could, but you've always been too good at reading him and asked if he was okay.

You'd persisted when he tried to brush you off, and he'd come up with some excuse. The longer you stayed there with him, the faster his resolve was crumbling, and he didn't want to fall apart in front of you. This was not your problem, and there was no point in runining your night, or your friendship.

He attempted to sidestep you, and you'd brushed against his arm. Your touch seared him, and reflex caught your wrist in his hand. For the first time in hours he met your gaze.

Disgusting.

Unworthy.

Why? Why make him this way? Why give him the ability to fall in love at all if he wasn't allowed to? What kind of cruel bastard...

Your wrist flexed in his hand and you looked up at him with an expression that said, I'm here. Whatever it is, I'm here. It's a familiar look, and it brought him back to himself. You're always the one he runs to. Now he was running away.

He dropped your hand, muttering an apology and fled without another word, leaving you behind.

Heart hammering in his chest, he nearly stumbled with the force of it. He made it to the other side of the house and collapsed, a wave crashing over him. He couldn't breathe. He was drowning, pulling in air, and getting nothing except dizzy.

On his knees, hands pressed to the ground beneath, it felt like his shell was crushing him. He maneuvered himself to sitting on the cold slate tiles, pulling his knees up to his chest.

There were no more words inside his head, only screaming, and he squeezed his eyes shut, and gripped his head tight, begging for it to stop. Some vague part of him was aware that he was crying, but any thoughts were swept up into the vortex inside of him.

The panic attack held him, shackled to his faults, for seventeen minutes, but it could have been a year. By the time he finally felt it begin to subside, he was exhausted and trembling.

He'd retrieved the bottle of whiskey that had rolled under the nearby bench, and, with great effort, managed to pull himself onto it. He'd held onto the bench to steady himself, before opening the bottle and drinking nearly half of it.

He remained there until his father found him.

He takes another deep breath, exhaustion seated heavy, like a stone in his chest, and rests a hand on the wall beside him. He needs sleep. He continues to make his way toward his room at the back of the house, passing by the open archway to the sitting room.

Where he finds you.

...

Less a lover, more a fighter

But I'm tired of fighting to hold on

Got too many scars to hide them

So it's easier being on my own

But you

Shoot first, draw blood, before I know

Yeah you

One shot, one touch, and I let go

How did this happen?

My walls were up and

You moved without a sound

Never imagined, like an assassin

One look to me down

Assassin - Sultan + Shepherd

...

Tag List:

Tag list:

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll

[year2000electronics]

I was thinking about this for a little bit but what would happen if Reverse Mabel (especially post-weirdmageddon) meets Anti-Mabel.

Seeing some call Reverse Mabel "evil" I feel this would be a very intresting interaction, Reverse Mabel may see her as someone she could of easily become.

ahh, the "anti" dimension. i ruminated on the concept a LOT back when lost legends first released! i think theres an amateurish fic i wrote somewhere in my files of anti-mabel getting basically-adopted by a one of us au ford BUT I CANT FIND IT.

excuse the opportunity im taking to rant about the idea of anti mabel as a whole lol, but... [continued under cut!]

her dimension is a little confusing to think about sometimes, because the story she comes from, don't dimension it, i think a lot of us can widely agree was almost too much of a "pivot" in a direction we didnt really need to go? it's focusing on addressing mabel's "selfishness", especially in the wake of that flood of mabel hate that started picking up steam, but i feel like the version of mabel that exists in don't dimension it is just... not very true or accurate to the actual character. it feels like a very extended "sorry we had mabel make a rash decision in the heat of the moment that the characters forgave her for because they understand and love her. we will now proceed to have a dimension of all mabels where theyre portrayed as so self-absorbed that theyre all stuck on that dimension with no hope of returning home." excuse my dramatic wording but i swear to god that's what it feels like! and that's what it READS like!

mabel got "caught up in her own mabelness"? she gets distracted with crafts and cats like a SQUIRREL?? the idea of her neglecting those around her being put directly next to her going "i caused an entire apocalypse just to get one more day of summer?" SHE WAS GOING TO LOSE TOUCH WITH HER BROTHER. SHE WAS GETTING LIED TO AND TRICKED BY A GUY WHO HAS LITERALLY BEEN TRYING TO START THE APOCALYPSE FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS NOW. its really ridiculous and it doesnt play well at ALL. this kind of thing really shows to me how trying to please bad-faith critics will literally only make the end product worse.

"but what does that have to do with anti mabel though?" well, anti-mabel's "evil" kinda gets affected by the moral of this story, don't you think? if they arent getting mabel right, then what is this ultimate "anti-mabel" really going to be? not really a reflection of any mabel i know. that's for sure.

but that aside, looking at everything that we know about anti-mabel, her dimension is kinda... played off as a joke? she feels a lot more like a joke character to me more than anything at this point lol

not that i really needed that much development from a one-off antagonist from a silly gravity falls comic but like. how is anti-mabel literally SUPERVILLAIN-TIER EVIL? what? where is she getting the resources for this?? and then you have the rest of her family who are all just like, chill? and its like WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE.

anyways. back to trying to answer the question i was literally asked. i think post-weirdmageddon mabel would see anti-mabel in a different light, thats for sure. anti-mabel's family is nothing like her! maybe she's just lonely. rev mabel knows you can't just get away with doing evil stuff, at least she's learning that, but i think some part of her would sympathize with her deep down

[t43andbooks]

Pairing: Chuuya Nakahara x reader

Wc: 1.3k

Content: implied/slight smut, dom reader.

Note: might be pretty fast paced or ooc sorry 😞😞🙇🏽‍♀️ I try my best

————

You were terribly stressed—you had just gotten fired, someone had caused an entire rumor, that eventually reached the higher ups, to get you out. You desperately needed to take your mind off of things.

Walking on the sidewalk illuminated by the broken streetlights that flickered from time to time, you stumbled across some kind of jazz club. You could tell it was bustling, even from outside, you had never been to one, but you were feeling brave so you headed over.

Walking in, there were warm lights and soft music playing in the background, serving quite the intimate atmosphere. You head over to the bar, making sure to take a seat where people had mingled away from. You’d rather try to drink your mind away than talk to anybody here.

You had given the bartender your order and leaned your cheek against your palm as you waited patiently. You chose something random, so you’d hope it’d be good.

You were stuck in your own head until you heard the creak of a chair next to you, turning your head and glancing over, you noticed it was a very fashionably dressed man that had decided to take a seat.

As soon as he made himself comfortable the bartender had came over and dropped off your drink. He spoke, in a smoky tone, slightly slurred.

“first time?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.. how’d you know?” You asked as you looked over to examine him entirely, fixing your posture as you did so. Ginger hair that hung loosely over his shoulder, a fedora, a long dark trench coat, along with a grey vest that hugs his waist just right, and black dress pants, and god—the smell of the cologne he’s wearing makes him so much more alluring.

While you were busy staring at him he answered while pointing to your drink, “That drink is pretty shitty, I don’t think anyone who actually drinks would get that on purpose.”

Cheeks tinted, he looked directly into your eyes, almost seductively, they were mismatched. The left was a crystal blue while the right was a chestnut brown. You could drown in them. He dragged his eyes down while smiling, looking you over.

“I’m Chuuya.” He remarked, tilting his head slightly.

“I’ve got one that I think you’ll like.”

He seemed to know more than you did so you gratefully accepted his offer and introduced yourself as well.

He called the bartender over and quickly explained the ingredients of a drink to him, requesting one for himself as well.

“So, you look a bit.. stressed.” The area under your eyes were dark, and your clothing disheveled, it was obvious really.

“Work problems.” You answered.

“Yeah I definitely get that.” He grumbled angrily, eyebrows furrowed while he spoke. “Same reason I’m here.” A specific person on his mind as he complained.

You smoothed your hair down, a futile attempt to make yourself look presentable. The bartender had come back and dropped both of your drinks off.

You took a sip, it fit your tastebuds well. “Good?” “Delicious, thank you.”

…

you were on your third drink now, you were tipsy, slurring your words once in a while.

He didn’t drink as much as you but he’s definitely as intoxicated as you are, he only took small sips of his drink as he talked (flirted) with you as the night went on.

Before you knew it though he had raised his hand, grazing your cheek faintly— he reached for the strand of hair that had fallen into your eyes, brushing it out of the way.

The both of you were now completely facing each other, knees touching while you conversed. He looked at you with such adoration as he tucked your hair behind your ear. He leaned his head onto his palm while he rested his elbow on the counter. His face was flushed scarlet, he looked at you through lidded eyes while smirking once more, he exuded a confident energy the more he drank.

“Mm, you’re gorgeous.” He mumbled, your eyes flitted over to the crowd, trying to look anywhere but into his eyes, you don’t think it’d be good to fall into a stranger’s bed tonight but you might just give in if he keeps looking at you like that.

“What a flatterer..” you smiled, you jerked as he placed a hand on your knee, “Y’know, I know a way we can let all that stress go..” he whispered as he leaned closer.

“How bold.. you seemed much more reserved before?”

“Eh, alcohol just does that to me… so, what do you say?”

You hummed, “where would we go?”

He giggled, grabbing your wrist and pulling off of your seat as you walked to the exit. “My place.”

After a bit of stumbling and heated kisses he had called a cab.

Getting out of the car after reaching his, you both walked inside, pressing the button to call the elevator—you waited. Taking the time to grab him by his collar and plant kisses and little love bites onto his neck, him letting out small whines as you did so.

The elevator doors opened next to you as you wobbled inside.

Him fishing into his pockets to find his keys to open the door, your lips messily smashing against one another while bumping into numerous objects making your way to his bed, you didn’t care about anything but him in this moment.

You, so gently, dragged your fingers into his hair until harshly pulling, leaving his neck bare to you as he let out a whimper. Taking your chance, you delivered a bite to the junction of his neck and shoulder, his moans were even louder.

The rest of the night were flashes of memories, you taking off his clothes and him reciprocating, tongues tangled as you made out, you biting and kissing at his waist while pressing into his groin with your palm.

Such pretty noises were released from his mouth the entire night, underneath you.

…

Damn it all.

Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry, and your muscles sore. The breeze of the air conditioner hit you even harder than usual, you tried opening your eyes before grunting and shutting them. The sunlight peeking through curtains was shining directly into your eye.

You struggled trying to get used to light until you focused on the warmth next to you, you ruled it as a dream but it made sense now. You had laid with him last night.

You were curled around him, bare chest pressing against his back. There were countless marks littered over his body, the evidence of that night.

Should you have left?

You moved away from him, slowly, as to not wake him with your movement. You searched around the bed, gathering the clothes you shamelessly threw last night. Now that you’re laying more attention, his room has a very dark, romantic feel to it.

Making him something would probably be the best thing right?

You sigh, you were definitely new to this. Sure you’ve had sex obviously, but getting drunk and doing it with a stranger is another thing entirely.

Making your way out of his room you made your way to his kitchen. Grabbing some water for the both of you, you drank a few gulps before you made your way back. You set it down on the nightstand near his bed and shuffled back onto it.

You nudged him, he responded with a sigh before you nudged him again, he finally opened his eyes, trying to hide his face from the unrelenting sun. Seems like he’s struggling as much as you did. You quickly moved the cup of water towards him as he pushed himself up, the blankets resting on his hips. He held his head, trying to find a way to ease the pain before looking at you. He didn’t seem angry that you stayed so that was a good sign.

He took the cup of water and eagerly gulped it down, a smile adorned his face as he looked up at you.

“Honestly didn’t think you’d stay.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, can.. can we do this again?”

…

“Of course, hun.”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bestie Deficiency

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ganondoodle]

(forces myself to stop playing stardew so i can get some progress done on my art projects- daydreams the entire first arc of my original story stuff -again- for 2 hours)

[bunnihearted]

🌙☁️🌌

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

[lavampira]

:c

[uitzinnigmp3]

.

[b-blushes]

you know when you're in da overwhelm zone due to Circumstances that you don't really have power over. well it's really hard to deescalate from that i am finding!

HOWEVER i am attempting:

FACING THE THINGS because the longer they loom. the longer they are looming for.

regular breaks from Addressing Everything

regular snacks/meals/drinks

prioritising

postponing stuff that can be left until later (But watch out!)

doing other things in advance that are easy to do now (such as stockpiling meals ready for feeling more ill)

asking for help where i can

[monstriiss]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[obstinaterixatrix]

air was telling me about that ultimatum reality dating show thing & that’s crazy. I know it’s probably mostly the aromanticism but I can’t imagine clinging to someone when you’re at the point of making an ultimatum. I’d just leave.