#need to make it clear this is my fic that I wrote and am rereading

[unma]

I think the best part of Heretics is that Frisk is just a regular person and Sans is a fucking demon from hell and yet at any point in the fic they are the scariest person in the room.

Sans just took down 6 people in mere seconds prior to this scene. Doesn't matter, Frisk is queen and they get their time to shine whenever they want to.

The second best part is that Frisk gets to kill their stupid father.

[tossawary]

As I post about rereading SVSSS for lore and characterization, and about sometimes ignoring canonical details for the sake of whatever story I want to tell / explore in fanfiction for fun, I want to make it clear that I don't make these changes because I think it makes a "better story" or that I can write a "better story". I don't even like using the term "fix-it" for my canon divergence AUs that avert some in-universe tragedy, even if it is the "correct" fandom term in some cases, because I don't think that SVSSS is a story that needs to be "fixed".

(Honestly, a lot of my minor alterations to canon's details are because I can't remember what exactly canon is and can't always be bothered to hunt for one sentence (which I may or may not remember existing at all) across multiple volumes, especially when I don't always think strict faithfulness to canon is that crucial to the main concept of what I'm doing. I wrote PINTWILF and several other fics before the official English translations were fully released, when checking minor details was an even greater pain in the ass. Sometimes, I'm cooking without the recipe in front of me because I just want to eat.)

Like, I have criticisms of SVSSS, definitely. When I first started writing SVSSS fic, I was more frank about this (fond but less fond of the characters and world than I am now), and I've talked about things I wished the story expanded on more. I think it has flaws. I know those flaws are a dealbreaker for many people. But it's not my story. I can't tell MXTX's story better, because I believe that every author's story belongs to them and only they know what they're trying to achieve, even when I may personally think that the story might have been stronger if it had done something differently or I'm ignoring some minor detail specifically because I don't really like it.

It's awkward, sometimes, occasionally being told by someone that they enjoyed my fic more than the original story. It's very flattering (I can't pretend I don't have an ego) and I don't think anyone means any harm by this, people enjoy stories or don't for many different reasons (enjoyment is not necessarily an indication of quality and I think engaging with fandom can often be more fun than just reading a story on its own by yourself), but it is a little awkward, especially when SVSSS is not an English / western story. I have an advantage appealing to western readers. Reading a translation of the original story, I know there are details of SVSSS going over my heard, references I'm missing, nuances I don't recognize, even as I endeavor to keep learning. I personally enjoy some of my fics more than SVSSS itself because I associate them with good experiences and a lot of them appeal to me personally in some way or another (all of my favorite tropes! we all have favorite tropes!), but they are built on the back of someone else's original work on the other side of the world, and I want to be respectful of that.

I don't want to compete or fix. I'm not trying to compete or fix, I think I would fuck it up if anyone seriously set that task on me, and I don't think that's a good way to view anything. I want to explore and appreciate. I'll type up a lengthy post at some point as to why I'm generally not interested in concrit on my fics (honestly, mostly it's because I'm not interested in being told that a reader hates the present tense and wishes I would rewrite the entire story, which has happened to me before), but I hope that doesn't come off as disinterest in the original story or its cultural context, or as me thinking even a little bit that any of my stories are flawless and/or better than the original.

I want to make a "why would you put two bad bitches (compliment) against each other like this?" joke here, but I also want to be clear: I think MXTX is by far the badder bitch (compliment) in this situation.

(Turning off reblogs, btw, because this post skews more on the personal side.)

[damthosefandoms]

my outsiders essay i wrote in eighth grade on "what is a hero? who is the hero in the outsiders? why?" (236 words, all quotes from the book):

my outsiders essay now (2k words, all nonsense but there’s a point in there somewhere):

Juliette Damthosefandoms

Transcribed by Mage Mutopians (because I’m lazy but I still edited it after. if there's typos blame mage they just typed every word i said)

12/23/2024

Hero Essay 2.0

Way, way back in spring 2014, when I was thirteen years old, I was tasked with writing an essay about what the definition of a hero is and who I think the main hero of the Outsiders story was. I said that there was only one character in that story and his name was Johnny Cade and he was “defiantly” the hero. After submitting that essay, there was a day where I was in a PPT meeting (because if this doesn’t make it clear that I have ADHD I don’t know what will), and I have a very specific memory of it being brought up to give me more instruction in adding detail to my writing. Now, I have spent way too much time putting entirely too much detail into my writing to the point where I do not believe in anything that is not a run-on sentence. (I am sorry for making you type this @mutopians.) (It’s okay @damthosefandoms <3) Anyway. In this essay, I will explain what I think the definition of a hero is after having spent many years obsessing over superheroes, which doesn’t apply to the Outsiders, but it could, if you write a 22k fic and not post it. (Drop the fic Julie-) (NO.) Anyway. Again. 

A hero….What’s a hero? A hero is (I think I stand by whatever my original definition was) probably somebody who helps people who are in need or go out of their way to do things to do-Fuck it. I don’t know. If you’re going for the Batman definition, it’s Darry, because he’s taking kids off the street. This also works for Johnny because he took kids out of the building. To quote my essay from almost eleven years ago, “To start, Johnny ran into the church after Ponyboy.  “‘Hey, Ponyboy.’ I looked around, startled. I hadn’t realized Johnny had been right behind me all the way.” (Pg.91-92) He wasn’t afraid to go into a fire to save those kids.” (Me, 2014). (insert Mage and Julie argument over the appropriate way to cite an essay from 2014 in MLA while Julie pets Mage’s cat) If we’re talking about saving people, Johnny fits the bill. 

Moving on, I was rereading that essay and laughing at it so I posted it on Tumblr the other day and did a poll and you guys decided that, as of December 23rd 2024 at 3:18 PM EST, Johnny is defiantly the hero at 65.2% of the 23 votes. Soda and/or Darry have 21.7% of the vote. Other has 13% but nobody actually put in the tags who they thought the other heroes would have been so. I don’t know what was going on there. Ponyboy, I guess it’s my fault for making it biased because I called him the boring answer. But he didn’t do anything heroic so I stand by it. He has 0% of the vote. Not even zero point something. Just zero. So that’s apparently what the internet thinks. There’s five days left on the poll if you want to vote on that, but I don’t think that’s going to change. My theory is that the Johnny thing was winning because I made the joke about the typo earlier in the post and I think Soda and/or Darry are just because of musical fans bias, which I’ll get into in a minute. 

(Right now, at this point, I asked Mage to put in a word count, because I’m having fun.) (Counting this part, there’s 601 words.) (I had to teach Mage how to enable the word counter on Google Docs just btw.) (In my defense it intimidates me when I’m staring at an already blank page) 

What was the point of this again? (Julie then paused to pet my cat and say he was cute.) Where am I? We need to figure out who the hero is. In the musical, let’s talk about that, there’s a lot of bias. Giving Soda and/or Darry as an option didn’t help because I kinda knew that, as we’ve all grown up and reread the book in a different point in our lives and listened to the musical on repeat for six months straight and nothing else and except Christmas music recently and and the occasional One Direction song back in October (RIP Liam Payne), we all know how the story goes. Now that we’ve seen a point of view that’s not just Ponyboy’s and we’ve accepted he’s an unreliable narrator and we’ve all listened to “Finale (Tulsa ‘67)” we know what Ponyboy’s point of view is: “And now I look at what my brothers do for me. They’re the reason that I’m standing here right now. One thing’s for certain, I can say without a doubt. Those heroes paved the way so I could finally make it out.” (Outsiders Musical) (I’m not doing any other in-text citations now because I hate them and they’re stupid and if you’re reading this you know where it’s from. Goodbye.)

Anyway, Ponyboy sees his brothers as heroes at the end of the story. I think that now that we’ve all grown up enough to realize that Darry isn’t abusive and was just scared and that hitting Pony in the face wasn’t intentional, it’s just what siblings do, and if you’ve never slapped your brother before, you’re lying. Obviously in the context of the situation, it wasn’t cool, but sometimes the Cain instinct just takes over. Johnny even says I think later on in the musical that Darry probably didn’t mean it, and if the kid who consistently is getting abused is saying that Darry didn’t mean it, then Darry probably didn’t mean it. It’s also interesting that after it happens, during all of “Far Away from Tulsa,” Darry is still on the stage literally just sitting there on the floor staring into nothing like “what the fuck did I just do.” He did not mean it. Thirteen year old me did not understand this but I grew up and I get it now.

We can talk about Darry a little bit because I do actually think that maybe it could be him who’s the hero because if you think of it from a grown up point of view and not a thirteen year old point of view, he has so much going on and they don’t even realize how much shit he gave up for them. Some of them might, but they don’t appreciate it and should appreciate it more. Ponyboy realizes it at the end and that’s kind of the whole problem of their relationship. It took the whole plot for him to realize it. But, like, he literally could have gone to college and didn’t. To be fair, in the book canon, he didn’t get that scholarship, but in the musical he did. He had to drop out of school, he probably lost a lot of friends in the process, everybody is giving him shit and calling him a soc and being shitty to him and he’s just like…no wonder he’s no fun now, when he’s worried about Ponyboy running around and getting in trouble and risking social services getting called on him. Give the man a break. He’s twenty. He should be at the club. He got punched by his ex-boyfriend because Pony was out past curfew. So let’s say Darry is the hero of the story, and needs a break, and. You know. To not live in 1960s Oklahoma where if he’s gay, his brothers will get taken away. 

Soda’s probably also got a little bit of hero in him, but didn’t get the opportunity to show it much. He probably had his big hero moment way earlier closer to when their parents died but that’s not explained in the book so yeah.. Rigjt now he’s  just there for hugs and to keep his brothers from killing each other. Also maybe for sending that letter? But otherwise if you think about it, what does he do? And I’m a Soda stan, so I can say that. Although, I will give you, that the ADHD/dyslexia combo really does give demigod vibes and by the Percy Jackson definition of the word  that makes him a hero. So. You know. Yeah. Also, he’s like the only thing keeping Pony from total self-destruction. He did step up a lot, too. He dropped out of school and got a job to help Darry pay the bills. He does so much for their family and is very underappreciated, and I say this as someone who only writes fics based  around Soda. I’m just having trouble coming up with examples off the top of my head. This is hard. We’ve just written a 1300 word essay in under half an hour and I’m just talking off the top of my head while Mage types this for me so please excuse me for being stupid. Sodapop Curtis. I fuckin love that kid.

 Let’s talk about Johnny again. Because he…what does he do? Johnny stabs Bob and Bob had it coming. I think in the book Cherry says that Bob had it coming. And I quote, “Maybe Bob asked for it. I know he did. But I could never look at the person who killed him.” (Julie gave in and checked for quotes but still will not put actual citations in.) (I wanted to read that line is my excuse.) It was gayer in the musical. That’s a lie, actually. Johnny and Dally were gayer in the book, but Johnny and Ponyboy were gayer in the musical. We all listened to “Faraway from Tulsa” and “Death’s at my Door.” You know.

BUT. However. I don’t care if I get crucified for this by musical stans. There is something to be said about the part in the book where (and I specify in the book because the book characters are very different than the musical characters and that context is important. It’s a different universe. Pay attention) they’re driving back from the Dairy Queen and it’s not just that, yes, Johnny stood up to Dally at the drive-in and told him to leave Cherry alone because frankly Dally was being a gross piece of shit to her (men are disgusting <3). Dally got mad at him because “I went out of my way to get you this and Johnny was like we’re going to turn ourselves in and didn’t care what Dally thought blah blah blah”. Johnny is a lot braver than we think and they argue like an old married couple (DALLY BEGS AND TALKS TO JOHNNY IN A VOICE PONY HAS NEVER HEARD BEFORE?). And Dally said that they were going to get in so much trouble, and Johnny said it was the right thing to do. He didn’t want Ponyboy to get in trouble. He knew going back and turning himself in was the only way to ensure that he didn’t screw things over for the Curtises. 

Which, kind of the whole idea, is that everyone is trying to do what they can to keep the brothers together. Maybe the real hero was the rest of the gang. Like maybe that’s why Steve didn’t want Ponyboy to ever tag along if he knew there was a chance he and Soda would get in trouble. (Soda’s a lot closer to being an adult than Ponyboy is, so if he got in trouble and taken away and had to be on his own, he could, but Ponyboy’s got a lot longer until he turns 18. It would be a bigger deal for him to be put in a boys’ home than Soda, who is almost 17 and has a lot more freedom and would only be there for a year.) There’s this one part that, it’s in the book and movie where Two-Bit checks if Ponyboy has a fever by putting his hand on his forehead. It’s like they’re all watching out for them because that’s rule number one of being a greaser: stick together. That, and don’t get caught. They do that, help out, because that’s what the brothers do for them, like when Dally calls for help at the very end of the book, and Darry and the gang drop everything to go get him (and just to see him die, but, you know). That’s why Darry keeps the door unlocked. Pony says he could call Two-Bit to come pick him up in his car, but Pony decides to walk home alone anyway. But they’re always around. It’s about COMMUNITY!!!

In conclusion, I still don’t believe in conclusion paragraphs, the only one who’s not a hero is Ponyboy because he didn’t do jack shit. (I guess he did run into the church to save kids. And other things. But. You know. I don’t feel like talking slash writing about that right now.) Want a conclusion? Read what I wrote. The end. 

[crystallizsch]

Hello Ian! ♡

I'm so glad you liked the first Jamiyuu fic I wrote! Here is the fic we discussed based on your glomas drawings!

I hope you enjoy! ♡

No matter the crowd, no matter the room, Jamil and Yuusha are always able to find each other somehow.

A masquerade where masks are adorn, identities meant to be concealed. Yet, here they were again, their eyes locking from across the room.

The ballroom was filled with people, some dancing while others mingled. Jamil stood near some of the others, looking around and taking in the sights. The room was extravagant, from the architecture, to the decor, to the outfits of those in attendance. His gaze lingered on the dance floor for a moment, watching couples as they twirled around. They looked to be in their own world, laughing and enjoying the company of their partner as they danced. The sight made Jamil's thoughts stray for a moment, imagining himself out there, dancing with Yuusha.

He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, his eyes leaving the dance floor. As he looked away he locked eyes with someone across the room, the very person that wouldn't leave his thoughts. It was just like at Night Raven, during one of Kalim's parties or in the halls, his eyes never failing to find Yuusha's. Just what was it about her, that he couldn't look away? Just what was it about her, that caused him to stare?

At first it wasn't anything nice, he had plans after all, goals that he needed to achieve. He had to keep an eye out, had to watch out for her, as he couldn't let anything, or anyone, interfere. Yet, as his plans crumbled before him, he found himself still looking, still watching, unable to look away. They had grown closer since then, closer than Jamil could have imagined.

He found himself smiling, his eyes still locked with Yuusha's as she smiled back. They've truly come far from how they started, Jamil closing his eyes as he turned away. As he was debating leaving, he heard someone approach him, a familiar voice behind him,

"Where do you think you're going?"

He turns to find Yuusha standing before him, her hand held out towards him,

"I believe you owe me a dance"

He looks at her, at her outstretched hand, and considers it. Here, they weren't Yuusha and Jamil. Here, they were strangers, their masks making their identities. As he takes her hand and they make their way to the dance floor, he pretends. He pretends that they met under better circumstances, holding her close. He pretends that she was his, as they twirl by other couples. He hopes this won't be their last dance, pretending the masquerade didn't have to end.

Oh, to dance with you, forever and always

No matter where or when, my hand will always reach out for you

My first dance, my last dance, the only dance I crave

Let my love move you, with the words I dare not say ♡

Thank you! ♡

HELP I AM SOBBINGG --

I’M JUST GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET EVERY TIME I REREAD THIS IM HNDBAJSHS THANK YOU

I REALLY LOVE YOUR TAKE ON MY GLOMAS POST IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS --

my glomas brainrot hngghh and dancing is one of yuusha and jamil's love languages so i'm just ,,,, aaghhhh save me

BUT ANYWAYS IM GONNA RAMBLE A BIT -- (also i love the whole thing i just want to point out the things that im most crazy about hdshsj)

Just what was it about her, that he couldn't look away? Just what was it about her, that caused him to stare? At first it wasn't anything nice, he had plans after all, goals that he needed to achieve. He had to keep an eye out, had to watch out for her, as he couldn't let anything, or anyone, interfere. Yet, as his plans crumbled before him, he found himself still looking, still watching, unable to look away.

ur honor ;;; his plans are being foiled by this woman how is jamil going to save himself from this (he cannot)

AKHDJSKSJ OKAY SO

i’ve been crazy about the idea with jamil being having future plans for him and himself only and then suddenly he finds someone that he actually genuinely likes that he cant imagine those plans without them???

ugh good food good food i’m so happy this was here it is SO cute 😭💕

Here, they weren't Yuusha and Jamil. Here, they were strangers, their masks making their identities. As he takes her hand and they make their way to the dance floor, he pretends. He pretends that they met under better circumstances, holding her close. He pretends that she was his, as they twirl by other couples. He hopes this won't be their last dance, pretending the masquerade didn't have to end.

AUGHHH MY HEARTTT

jamil sir all you do is pretend it is time to let your true colors (and feelings) fly

i love that he is thinking about the what ifs and also how he is hoping he continues to spend time with her knowing it’s not gonna be possible

AND ALSO the line “they weren’t Yuusha and Jamil” and the following one -

i am goin insane about it i don’t know how to put it all properly into words but im gonna try --

like YEAH despite the masks, despite knowing who each other is underneath it, they don’t truly know each other, but it doesn’t matter because right now it’s just this dance, nothing else, and only each other 🥺🥺🥺

Oh, to dance with you, forever and always No matter where or when, my hand will always reach out for you My first dance, my last dance, the only dance I crave Let my love move you, with the words I dare not say ♡

AND THIS LAST PART ^^^^^^ I’M OBSESSED THAT YOU ENDED IT WITH THIS IT’S SO ADORABLE AND SO FLUFFY

my thoughts on this too is basically the last thing that i said about only being them in their own world basically especially with the last line ,,, oughh i’m just sobbinf --

AAHHHH ANYWAYS I ATE SO WELL WITH THESE SHEEP YOU HAVE NO IDEA THANK YOU

AND I COULDNT HELP IT BUT I DREW FOR THEM AGAIN AHHH

(ack the masks kind of hid their expressions so i didnt put it on them and i realized that’s kind of against the point but im stubborn and i NEED to show their expressions)

(also this hamilton lyric fits the vibe of this but omg this musical needs to leave me aloneeeee)

[eatingfloorboards]

hihi!

a big fan of allies or enemies au who never got round to leaving a comment so I’m going to ramble here if that’s okay!!

Soooo first of all what hit me when reading was the characterisations and themes that seemed so well planned out particuarly how you wrote ren

like I could go one for days about this guy and how I knew why he did what he did and how that goes with him being loyal to organisations and ideas such as honour and his own moral code I’d like to point out that from the second or third chapter I knew he was going to die and I don’t mean this as an insult to your writing because thematically it just works so well to know that to make up for what’s he’s done and that Pearl will never be able to speak to him or explain ouch /pos I was sobbing

AND THEN GEM I love to see a shiny duo centric fic with background pairing rather than them always being the other way around the relation ship the loyalty and the dedication the dynamic hits different after wild life and gem copping with her new life at the beginning and her guilt and confusion trying to understand pearls actions i really do need to reread it again

the journey to get to the end was wonderful and I enjoyed every second of it thank you for writing it <3

AHESHJS!! I love rambles like this!!

I am gonna ramble back bc I can and ive been waiting for an opportunity to talk abt this

Thank you!! My process of planning themes and characterization is very much just playing around with things and seeing what works best; this fic was a bit more planned on the themes than most stuff I write, but I'd say the character arcs were still my typical *vague gesture* "this'll probably work!" Writing everything out first and going back to edit early chapters DEFINITELY helped me create some more coherence of characterization! I'm very glad that you enjoyed all of that stuff!

(Spoilers, and further analysis/explanation, for allies or enemies au below)

I certainly put some more focus on thinking out Ren's arc, since I knew from the beginning I was going to kill his character off; i wanted to ensure that his character arc felt thematically complete, while still having his life feel cut short (martyn and him still having a future together, pearl still needing to forgive him, gem having a potential of befriending him, etc). I'm honestly glad it was clear he was gonna die! He is supposed to be a character where the reader understands how clueless and how doomed he is, and they know that no one, including himself, will save him. Ren is a character that is too stuck to his loyalty, which he thinks makes him very socially connected, but it ends up meaning that he isolates himself once having a moral conflict between his loyalties. He is the type of character that a reader is supposed to yell at (lovingly) and know he's making bad choices, while still seeing that with the information he has his decisions are within reason.

YES!! I love writing sapphics and there is never enough sapphic fic in fandom! I liked writing gempearl as the main ship while still having treebark be a parallel that i could show dynamics and such with! I think gem and martyn are SO similar in vibes and same with pearl and ren, so writing their arcs to parallel one another was very enjoyable on my part. (I also just rlly like both ships).

Thank you for reading it <3

[peachdues]

Hi Peach!

the latest episode of KNY and your recent posts have just made me go and reread TGW - don’t ask me how many times I’ve read it now cause I lost count 🤷🏼‍♀️

I love your take on my emo King so much. Giyuu is quite a deadpan character but you are able to write him having silly/funny moments so well. They don’t feel forced at all. Adding comedy to the endless of list of your amazing writing skills 🩵

And I’m so looking forward to the part II Tanjiro visit scene (poor poor boy) and the Miko chastising Giyuu for having an empty house (she will be chewing him out I can’t wait)

I went back and reread the first TGW teaser you ever posted and I hope you don’t mind me asking but was reader always going to be a Shrine Maiden or did that idea come later as the fic came together?

Now I need to be so honest with you - Peach ‘IT TAKES TWO’ killed me in the best horny way possible, I am quite partial to a wee bit of SaneGiyu so seeing them in a threesome fic the scream I scrumpt 😭 mean corruption kink Giyuu forever

I hope you’re getting lots of smooches and fresh air

much love

-🫧🫧

(PS no stop no don't write for Shinjiro, he’s totally not everyone’s anime dad crush at all 😉😚)

BESTIE BUBBLEEEEEEEEEE!!

So tickled that you reread TGW again. Honestly, I’ve fallen right back into the brain rot it, and spent a good portion of today writing for it 😭 seeing Giyuu smile in last night’s episode made me MELT.

and ALSMSKAKOAKS as always your compliments reduce me to an absolute puddle and I will never be solid again.

I’ll answer your asks about TGW below!

I won’t give away Reader’s backstory quite yet (that comes in Part 3!) but I will say — she was raised in a shrine and doesn’t have a lot of personal items either. She’s actually so overwhelmed by the fact she finally has a home — something that she can call hers, that she almost cries 😭 but you’ll see Giyuu feel sort of insecure about it for the first time (he just wants to impress his girl lmao).

As for your question about when I decided to make Reader a shrine maiden in TGW..

TGW came about because of the “I’m not your enemy” scene that was teased in the OG teaser — hence, why it was the first look. The entirety of TGW bloomed around this one mental image I had of Giyuu strangling his lover. I decided pretty quickly it would be his BOJ.

I knew she was going to be a civilian when I published the OG teaser, but I hadn’t settled on anything more concrete than that. HOWEVER, the second scene I wrote was the first time scene that ends Part I — I wrote that entire thing in like an hour while procrastinating. I first teased the virginity loss scene like, maybe two days after the OG teaser? So in the span of those two days I decided she would be a Shrine Maiden. It was a pretty easy decision — I needed her to have some flexibility RE her background but also give her a stable place Giyuu could come back to and see her. So that’s how I decided! But to answer your question, she was pretty much a Miko from the start, minus like two days lmao.

As for the Tanjiro scene — honestly, I’m enjoying the thought of it sm. Especially because he, like everyone else left alive after Muzan, had NO IDEA Reader even existed.

Giyuu actually takes off from the Butterfly Mansion to get her as soon as he regains consciousness and doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going — so when they show up concerned to his estate, you can imagine how SHOOK they are to se that not only is there a woman there (the implication of what they did the previous night being very clear lmao), but also that she’s introduced as his fiance. Like, “here she is, this is mine. I love her.”

I’m so glad you loved It Takes Two 🫡🫡 I am happy to provide spit roasting always!!

Sending you much love!! Please stop encouraging me to write Shinjuro I have too much to do!! I’ve already started HELP

[kit-williams]

Kit, I love reading all your writings. From the quality of what you've written, the posts of WIPS you've shared, and the overall general musings you've given about what you're working on, it is beyond clear that you're passionate and care about what you write.

From Perty and Penelope to Roland and Bäckerin, it's all genuinely so good. I see you post something and get beyond excited to get the chance to read it; even if it's a quick one of reply to build off another post.

THAT'S NOT EVEN GET INTO HUSBANDRY SENTIENCE! You helped kick off genuinely one of the most enjoyable pieces of collective fanfiction that I have read in such a long time; it's to the point where I point my friends to your page like, "Look at this! Look at how good it is!" And they agree because it really is! I used to gate fandoms, I thought my time in them was done, but you've made me actually want to interact with one again with this collective you've been encouraging.

You've done great work, and that's all well and good to say, but it's harder to make oneself believe that. As a fellow artist and writer, I also understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, you look at something you've made (especially as it gets older) and wonder if it was ever any good in the first place. The answer is yes, it was and still is. The truth of the matter is that as you grow as a writer, your expectations for yourself do as well. You see every mistake, every way it could have been better. That's natural. But to us, your audience, we see a wonderful piece every time. We go back and reread things you've written no matter how old because we love what you wrote.

It's okay to be self-critical, but know you never need to doubt your abilities. You've written wonderful things, and I can personally say I am very excited to read whatever you write next.

I really hope you feel better soon, be kind to yourself.

- Tired College Anon

I never came back to tumblr to make what I've made. Sentience was never a thought I had... but it evolved so much further than what I thought it would be... I never saw myself doing anything more than just posting my silly D&D crossover idea and then Roland came into existence.

As for Husbandry Sentience... I really do try to understand the characters that I have been so graciously been allow to help make or to take to interact with my boys and girls. I never had made something like this before... honestly Sentience is just an AU of an AU... and then how much I feel honored to see people making AUs of my AU like the mer fics... making a collaborative fic beyond just my ask box people was not on my bingo card guys (gn)...

And then I was convinced, guided, somehow some way this beautiful community I had suddenly found myself in told me they wanted to see my take on Canon Characters far more fleshed out then old Ovary Thief Tyberos

I hate talking about myself because I dont feel like what I accomplish is much to write home about because its just this is my standard. What I give to you all is just my normal... my normal quick and dirty only occasionally beta read/reviewed before I post it... its me not trying me not worrying

I should feel better soon... everyone has been so unbelievably kind... everyone has been so nice and supportive

[korrasamibottles]

I just reread the space between heartbeats and I suddenly need you to tell me everything about it! What gave you the idea for all the story beats and details???

Thank you so much for asking (and for re-reading?? Such an amazing compliment wow)!! I'm still completely floored by how sweet everyone has been about this fic....I wrote it from the heart so the positivity really means a lot😭 Also sorry this got so long oh my god lol.

Before I even started writing, I knew I wanted to come at the whole thing from Mako's perspective. He's such a complicated and fascinating character to me, and there's so much potential to explore how the trauma of witnessing his parents' murder and the depersonalization of having to be brother-father-protector-provider to a younger sibling while also still a child led to him being SO detached from his own wants and needs and feelings, and so used to thinking of himself as a tool rather than a person, that if somebody asked him point blank what he wanted his head would pop.

But maybe...after spending a lot of time around somebody who isn't afraid to openly want things and ask for them....Mako could start thinking about what HE wants, so that when somebody finally does ask him he's able to untangle his feelings enough to actually put them into words.....?

Mako's character has such a strong presence and I didn't want Wu to feel flat in comparison, or for it to seem like he was only there to further Mako's development, so I decided to give Wu the benefit of having the setting be all about him.

This also gave me an opening to show how Mako's influence could give Wu the push he needed to shake off the spoiled prince persona and become the more mature, compassionate man he always had the potential to be. We saw the beginnings of that in the show and in Ruins of the Empire, and I like to think they'll continue on that trajectory even though I'm not getting my hopes up for any wuko crumbs whatsoever in the Mako solo comic.

(Everyone already knows this because I never shut up about it, but what makes me so bonkers about wuko is the potential for them to bring out the best in each other. That kind of dynamic is fucking gold to me.)

Anyway. Once I had the POV and setting figured out, I had to give Mako a reason to be there, and I thought, well, he hasn't yet reached the point where he's able to admit he has feelings for Wu (even inside his own head) so the pretext of him deciding he had to keep Wu alive to protect the fragile democratization process felt right and seemed plausible.

The first two scenes came together from a few lines I poached from an unfinished korrasami wip....

"That's not–I'm not–we're just colleagues, Asami," he splutters convincingly.

"Yeah? So everyone at the precinct just hand-feeds each other moon peach slices in the morning, then? That's standard 'colleague' behavior?"

"Asami–"

"And right at the breakfast table," she whispers dramatically, shaking her head in mock disapproval and relishing how the blush has spread from his ears down his neck. "We all saw you practically purring into his hands, Mako. Like a damn octocat."

....and this bit of dialogue from the closet scene

“What kind of closet locks from the inside!?”

“You tell me! You grew up here!”

“Not in this closet!”

I turned the peach lines into a whole scene because I loved the idea of Wu being like "teehee I am getting him to try something new and fun" meanwhile Mako's like 3 seconds away from just snapping and sucking on Wu's fingers. Except it's rated T so. You know. Gotta be more subtle about it lol.

As for the closet dialogue....I'm a simple woman and I will never ever get tired of closet-themed jokes and accidents. My personal headcanon re: Wu's sexuality is that it was kind of like an open secret among the royal family. Like he'd flirt with women in public just to keep up appearances but really, everyone knew. Hence the "not in this closet!" line. To be clear, I don't think the royal family was ok with it, and I'm sure he suffered for it, but in this fic I positioned him further along in his own self-acceptance journey than Mako.

The next scene didn't unfold as easily, and I really, really struggled with it. Mako was a bit of a ticking time bomb by this point in the story–the tension had been rising for a while, and I knew it had to break eventually, but I wanted it to break in the right way.

I wrote several different versions, but every time the dialogue got away from me and it always ended the same way: with them getting into an actual argument and Mako storming out the door. And that was Not the vibe I was going for. I wanted more of an "oh fuck" moment rather than a "this guy is pissing me off and I have to get out of here" one. Mako has a tendency to get snappy in emotional situations, and that combined with him being an acts-of-service kind of person made the "it's my job to worry about you!" line finally click into place.

Deep down, Mako knows he's more than just a bodyguard to Wu, he knows how Wu feels about him, but he can't let himself really think about it. Because if he's more than his work, more than just a tool to be used, if Wu wants him around simply because he enjoys his company and not because Mako is providing a service, then that means Mako's entire sense of self is built on a lie. That's a terrifying realization, with or without the added element of internalized homophobia (and I had to add it. For maximum angst.)

I knew I wanted the fic to end with Mako realizing that the way he'd been operating simply wasn't healthy or sustainable, followed by a dramatic confession of feelings, but how to get there? Well why not invent a weird old bug woman. I thought a sort of grandmotherly figure might be somebody Mako would take seriously, and also I selfishly just wanted a woman in the story lol.

I honestly don't know where the ant spiral idea came from–maybe it's something I learned about as a kid that's been haunting the crevices of my brain for years. But it felt like an interesting way to symbolize how Mako was on a self-destructive path of repeating the same harmful behaviors over and over. If he kept depriving himself of meaningful connections, never stepped outside his comfort zone, continued avoiding learning how to process his emotions, and kept letting his fear and his pain decide what he was and wasn't allowed to want, he'd only keep inadvertently hurting himself and the people he cares about. That sort of thing. But he's stubborn, and needed to figure it out himself, so I let Qin Li give him the pieces (dare I say peaches?) so he could put it all together.

The final scene was written in its entirety at the auto shop, because apparently that's where my muse lives. Great place to write, can't recommend broken cars highly enough. Anyway, I wanted his eventual admission to feel like removing a giant splinter, which is to say: extremely painful and strained, but a huge relief once it's out. Difficult as it was, he needed to actually verbalize that shit not only for himself but also because it wouldn't have been fair for Wu to have to be in a relationship with somebody who couldn't even admit the feelings were real. And of course I had to have Wu jump into his arms at some point. Couldn't resist :)

One other thing I just thought about (and can't figure where to put it in this post, so I guess I'll just stick it here) is that I had fun giving both of them weird little quirks. Like Mako being an anxious/compulsive skin picker and Wu being fidgety and refusing to wear his glasses.

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING. Mako yanking on the doorknob in the closet was 100% a euphemism. For something.

[yallemagne]

I never talked about this on the 8th, I kinda just reblogged my one post about Dracula digging facial hair, but rereading Three Letters by BlueCatWriter reminded me of this internal connection I made in my head that I never saw anyone else bring up. Maybe they didn't bring it up because it's stupid, but I'm depressed, so I need something.

EDIT: fuckin bluecat wrote another fic where Dracula is being a pervert about the beard and now I'm even more depressed joiegrp

Anyway anyway anyone know about Peter the Great? The first emperor of Russia. He's regarded as "great" for looking at Western Europe and saying "... we should do that". One of the funniest Westernization routes he took was forcing the nobles to shave their beards because it was seen as very Slavic to have big bushy beards while men in the West shaved. Men who refused to shave were either physically forced to or made to pay a tax to keep their facial hair.

Now, Romania was not under the Russian Empire, it was split into Moldavia, Transylvania, and Wallachia, which were independently run for a time. And Romania is not a Slavic country by any means, it is more closely related to its Latin counterparts than to its Slavic counterparts. So, to be clear, I am not trying to make a comparison that is Slavic culture vs Western culture, because it wouldn't make sense.

It's a shaky comparison with my shaky outsider knowledge, BUT! Like Peter policed the nobles' appearances to strip them of their culture and replace it with Westernism, Dracula, by refusing Jonathan the ability to shave, strips him of his culture and replaces it with his own ideals about a man's appearance.

Attitudes towards facial hair are always fluctuating, but particularly after the Crimean War, I believe shaving grew more popular in England when soldiers who had to shave for hygiene reasons returned from the war. In general, if you were to have a beard, it was prudent for it to be more than just a little stubble (men growing moustaches would fill in their moustaches with makeup or wear a fake until they grew in completely) and you simply must keep it well-maintained! Like a little garden hedge on your face. Otherwise, you look like an unkempt slob.

So, apart from clean-shaven-ness being deemed more Western, it's simply a matter of pride for any man to style his facial hair or lack thereof however he pleases as a means of self-expression and personal hygiene. Dracula denies Jonathan that vehicle of self-expression and forces him into a state of dysphoria.

Tsk tsk all because he's into bearded men.

[frogiwi]

3, 6, 27 for ao3 wrapped !!!!!! blease 🥰

HI HIDEY OKAY YAYYY

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i'm actually gonna go back to a tokyo revengers fic for this, partially because my bouba fics are all still a litle fresh for me and i think that makes it a little harder to be wholly proud of them and not have little issues i'm hung up on, but i also do genuinely think this tokrev fic was an absolute banger and love how it turned out.

how did it end up like this?, written for my tokrev rarepair week this past july! a pseudo hate-sex fic (it just didn't up as hate-y as i thought it would kdsjghs) where chifuyu, having realized both of the people he's in love with are dating each other and he truly can't have them, is drinking his sorrows away when he encounters hanma, who he can't FUCKING stand but who has also realized the object of his affections doesn't love him back.

god, this one was just SO FUCKING FUN. chifuyu and hanma are two characters who like.... i hate 100% of chifuyu's fanon and dislike all of his popular ships. and hanma, i only shipped with kisaki. so i don't think of chifuyu in a shippy way p much ever and i basically monoship hanma. but their dynamic is so hilarious because chifuyu (rightfully) hates hanma's guts, but hanma's just kind of like vibing. like he really doesn't care. it's just fun for him to mess with people. so i've seen this sort of instigating dynamic between hanfuyu before but i'm not into a romance aspect with them at all. fwb though? fuck yeah.

chifuyu is a fun and pathetic kind of guy and the best usage of him to me is making him miserable! so i had a lot of fun torturing him in this one by making him want to fuck a guy he can't stand.

ok i'm off topic again but in terms of why i'm proud of this work, i think it just ended up being very much exactly what i wanted it to be. it was the longest fic i'd written in a WHILE (but now has been surpassed 3 times somehow 😭 help me), but it doesn't feel long winded or overly drawn out. i hadn't intended for it to be the length it is, but i think it ended up really helping with slowly raising the tension between the characters, bc these two need a LOT of banter (and some drinks) to get comfortable together (mostly chifuyu).

i think after i started shooing them out of the bar and increasing the physical touch between them and getting them to hanma's house, there were a lot of parts in there that i am actually still floored by when i reread it and think "how the FUCK is that so sexy". ugh actually there are a couple parts from this fic i could've put for #29 too.

Hanma stops a few steps down the sidewalk, pausing under a streetlamp to pull a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and shake one out. He lights it with a hand cupped around the flame, the warm glow illuminating his focused eyes. The cherry at the end of the stick smolders a deep red. When Hanma exhales, smoke blows out of his mouth in a slow stream.

Hanma lets go of his arm and Chifuyu stares down at the slight redness left behind from the strength of his grip. When he looks back up, Hanma has his cigarette between his lips, running his hand through his ungelled hair in annoyance, his profile sharp in the moonlight. Shit. Why did that do something to him?

mmmm when i wrote the first one i was like. fuck that's a sexy description. for both of these, the image is just really clear in my head and i feel that way for the entire rest of the fic after this too. this was the first time in a while i had written something this intimate and sexual and remains, so far, the only explicit work posted on my main account LOL. i didn't decide to show them going all the way but i did write them doing foreplay and stuff y'know and i was like. really really pleased with how it came out. i mostly had been avoiding writing nsfw before this because it never felt like it was coming out right or i would get stuck. but now i kind of wonder if i have this fic to thank for my growing comfort with it and how much more frequently i've been writing things like this since then. thank you hanfuyu!

6. Favorite title you used?

OK THIS ANSWER CAN BE SHORT. YAY. ugh actually i have a few contenders for this..... i think i'm gonna go with "pretend it's the same". this is from the song how i learned to love the bomb by glass animals, and it's a song that's basically about loving someone who has a dark side, who scares you and hurts you, but who you're drawn to and love anyway. that's not what the fic is about, and the lyric, which is about pretending things are the same after an altercation or something like that, is also used in a different meaning for my title. i'm using it to encapsulate the idea of chihaya pretending the person he's cheating with gives him the same feeling of love and comfort that his actual boyfriend does. but even though the overall meaning is different, in the end, both the song and the fic are about hurting someone you love. while the song is from the perspective of the victim, the fic is from the perspective of the perpetrator. despite the difference in meaning, the song makes me think about chihaya a lot anyway. so basically, i've thought about this song and fic title a lot, and i like it a lot, so yeah.

my next fave title is "the remains of my wasted youth" which is from coffee shop soundtrack by all time low, and i just think its another fitting title/song for the fic. and lastly "eyes on the prize" which isn't a song lyric title, but just an extremely funny one to me bc i feel like it feels like a sports phrase but the fic is about like. one guy looking at the other guy a lot. KSJDHGKJS

27. What do you listen to while writing?

A LOT OF STUFF! AND IT DEPENDS! i think for most of this year, it's been stuff by unlike pluto! i like pretty much all of his music, but i think for like half of the fics i wrote this year, i was listening to the albums "ghost gardens" and "pluto tapes: volume 4" on loop. i like these for fics that are a bit more on the angsty or sexy side LOL as well as the album "nowhere" by friday pilots club which joined this rotation a few months ago. for fluffier fics it kind of depends 🤔 lately it's been a lot of the japanese music that chihaya listens to, by the groups awesome city club and alexandros. the ones i have saved have like a nice light rock vibe to em which works well for the lighter hearted and simpler fics i work on. if i'm trying to channel some chaos, i usually use my japanese music playlist which has a Lot of vocaloid on it ksdjgh. i think for a bit a while ago though i was watching no commentary animal crossing new horizons videos in the background while i was writing bc actual music was distracting me LOL but i stopped doing that already. rn i've been listening to the music i saved from last week's discovery weekly on spotify bc all of the songs on it fucked hard. so yeah idk it depends kjhgkjsdg

THANK U HIDEY <3

ao3 wrapped asks

[dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd]

Quiet Nights

Ledger!Joker x Nolanverse!Harley

Summary: Joker comes back home to Harley after a long day of causing chaos. They share a quiet, cozy night in bed, enjoying each other's company.

Author's Note: I wrote this on paper over a year ago. Here I am finally posting it lol. I strongly recommend rereading the series! It can be found on my masterlist. I edited/redone chapters 1-3 of Fire Meet Gasoline, which is the first fic I did for these two, so the story is a little bit different now.

Tonight, Harley stayed home instead of assisting Joker with the heist. He didn’t want her coming along as it was really dangerous this time. Harley was happy not to be involved with the slaughter, but that didn’t stop her from worrying. 

Eventually, Joker came home exhausted and covered in blood. Harley greeted him with a kiss and helped him out of his purple coat.

“How’d it go?” She asked him.

“Beautifully. But the Bat didn’t show again. Must be losin’ his touch. Worked out great for me though.” 

Harley nodded. “I picked up some food earlier. Want some?” 

“Yeah. I’ll eat a little.”

“When was the last time you ate anything?”

“Uh, like two days ago.” Joker said casually.

“J! That’s not good. You need to eat something. God, you’re probably starving! How’d you pull off that heist on an empty stomach?” Harley scolded him.

He shrugged like it was nothing and found her concern amusing.

“Adrenaline is the only fuel I need, doll. I’ll be fine.” 

Harley sighed and stuck the takeout in the microwave. She took it out when it was heated and handed it to Joker. Inside was lo mein, rice, and half an egg roll.

“At least eat half of it.” Harley pleaded with him.

Joker sighed and sat down at their messy kitchen table. He cleared away some papers and other objects to make room for himself.

“Fine. If it’ll make you happy, Harls.”

Harley sat down across from him and watched him eat. His eyes went crossed when he took the first few bites. “Damn. This is good. Maybe I am starving. How much did ya tip Liu this time?” 

Harley snickered. Joker always made sure to give big tips to the sweet little old lady who ran the Chinese restaurant they frequented.

“The usual.”

“She deserves every cent.”

After Joker finished eating, they moved into the bedroom to retire for the day. Harley unbraided her hair and crawled into bed as Joker began undressing himself. His body was surprisingly clear of wounds tonight, much to Harley’s relief. The heist must have gone extremely well.

Once Joker was down to his dark purple boxers, he crawled into bed with Harley and rested his head on her chest. Harley stroked his curly, greasy hair gently, her nails raking across his scalp. He moaned softly.

Harley laughed in surprise. “Did you just…?”

“Maybe.” Joker said with a sly smirk.

“That feel good?”

He hummed in response. She smiled and continued playing with his hair. It was fluffy and soft despite the greasy appearance. 

“J?” Harley spoke up after a moment.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you want to be with me?” 

Her curiosity got the best of her yet again. Her mind often wandered on quiet nights like this. 

Joker was silent for a moment. Harley started to worry she struck a nerve. Finally he spoke in a quiet, genuine tone. 

“You understand me. You weren’t, uh, disgusted by me. You listened to me when I talked to you in the alley. Nobody’s ever done that for me before. And then, I saw something in you. It kept me drawn to you. I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before.”

That made Harley feel so much better. What he was experiencing was love. But he didn’t know that. Maybe he did, he just didn’t want to admit it. Emotions were hard for Joker. Harley knew that. Even though he never told her he loved her that often, she could tell he did by the way he treated her. She was content with that. The few times he expressed his feelings with words Harley’s heart soared.

“You okay?” Joker asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

“Uh, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“When you first read my file when you were applying for that job at Arkham, what did you think of me?”

“Well, probably what everyone else thought about you. You were insane and evil. I couldn’t understand you but I was determined to try. Your case captivated me. But now that I’ve actually gotten to know you personally, you’re not like how people make you out to be at all. Minus the killing, you’re not that bad of a guy. You treat me with more respect than any other man I’ve known my whole life. You’ve helped me feel confident in my own skin again. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

She planted a kiss on his forehead. Joker smiled up at her but then turned more serious.

“It’s nothing, Harls. I’m nothing special. This should be the standard. A man that abuses a woman is not a man at all.”

“I know that, J. But a man who thinks like that is not always easy to find. Given my history, it’s a big deal to me.”

They went quiet for a while after that. Harley stroked his hair gently and Joker melted into her touch. The only sounds to be heard was their breathing and the light patter of rain outside.

Harley finally broke the silence and reached over to grab a book from the wooden chest beside the bed that acted as their nightstand. “I almost forgot. You want me to read tonight?”

Joker nodded sleepily. “Mhm. Which one of Poe’s we at now?” 

Harley turned to the bookmark sticking out the book. “Ooh, it’s The Raven. My favorite.”

“Heh. Didn’t we read this last time?”

“No, we read The Black Cat last time.”

“Oh. Go ahead then, doll.”

Harley smiled. “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary…”

As she read, Joker closed his eyes and just listened to the sound of her soft voice. She spoke with eloquence and all the right inflections. When he did occasionally glance up at her, he saw the passion brewing in her brilliant blue eyes. He could tell she was internally dissecting each line and each stanza even though she’d read it all hundreds of times before. He grinned. His girl was so intelligent. Anyone who had ever put a dumb blonde stereotype on her was dead wrong.

“And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor. Shall be lifted–nevermore.” Harley concluded and shut the book. 

“Beautiful, darling.” Joker purred. 

Harley put the book back on top of the wooden chest. She settled back into Joker’s arms, burying her face into his chest.

“Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Should be. I’m not planning on going anywhere.” 

“Okay. Ready for bed?” 

Joker yawned. “Yeah. I’m tired.”

Harley turned the lamp beside the bed off and pulled the thick covers over both of them. 

“Goodnight, J.”

“G’night, Harley.”

Joker wrapped his arms tighter around Harley’s torso and nestled close to her. Harley loved it when he used her as a pillow. His embrace was warm and comforting. It felt like home. 

She’d kill for these rare quiet nights to happen more often.

[alpineshift]

OMG MYL!!!! The camping fic I’m?!

I have a lot of thoughts and I will be dropping them all right here so enjoy my ramblings.

The outdoorsy-ness of all the scenes, I am in love like Jack is in love with that clear, light pollution free, night sky.

But Nico had wanted to try camping together. Mister Nature himself, so eager and so keen on the idea of sleeping in a tent and renting out kayaks and going stargazing on a picnic blanket in the woods, had gazed at Jack with so much hope in those big sparkly princess eyes of his. And Jack had folded faster than a stack of cards, never in the habit of saying no to his boyfriend.

Yess yes YES! Because I know how we always say Nico can’t say no to Jack and his puppy eyes but also, the other way around it’s 100% true.

“It’s so big,” Jack settles on. “And like, really fuckin’ quiet, Hisch. If I scream, do you think anyone will hear?”

“Our neighbours down the road probably will,” Nico says, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe don’t let them think I’m murdering you or something, yeah?”

“No promises,” Jack jokes, and hops out of the car.

Loooove this

“Then our tent is going to be lopsided and your eye is going to start twitching because it’s not symmetrical.”

YES. Jack-who has all of his 25 pair of identical white Nike Air Forces perfectly lined up beside each other on the shoe rack-Hughes.

“I’m justifiably annoyed at this shit design. I could set this whole thing up no problem if it were better.”

“I believe you,” Nico says, reassuringly

This is sooo nicojack to me like Jack being annoyed and trying to sort of still defend his honour and Nico just indulging him like of course he could, it’s not him it’s totally just the tent. He isn’t incapable.

And because he’s Nico—he’s smart and perfect and competent in every way, they end up putting the tarp up and over the tent in a matter of minutes.

Sweet, prefect Nico 🥹

Nico ruffles his hair, utilizing the unhelpful extra three inches he has on Jack to be a menace. (He does drop a kiss on Jack’s forehead though, so he’s an adorable menace instead.)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

True to form and his Hischier genetics (Jack has watched all three siblings pass out on the couch during a summertime nap hour with almost terrifying synchrony), Nico doesn’t even react.

I support this Nico headcanon sooo hard!!! He’s grumpy in the mornings and a deep sleeper and yes he occasionally snores.

“We’re not playing a game, babe. I have to fucking pee and it’s dark outside and it’s freaky as hell. Come with me.”

Nico squints at him. “Go find a bush then…?”

Jack sputters. “I am not just peeing in the bushes like a goddamn animal, Hisch.”

Yesss we talked about this part, love it!

Nico pouts at him, full sad-eyes and wobbly lower lip. If he were a puppy, his tail and ears would be drooping.

SAD COW EYES NICO YES

Also the way he offers for Jack to pick what they’re going to do that day to make amends and Jack knowing it’s a big deal because he knows Nico was so excited to go onto that trail. THEM.

“I can make it,” Jack says at once, because if there’s one thing he hates more than cardio it’s the notion that he can’t do it.

10000%!!! No notes on that

Thank you for gracing the world with this beautiful Nicojack camping trip fic as an extension of that ask answer you already wrote so perfectly. I looove it and I know I will be rereading this so many times. Bestest gift 🥹

this is how I am!!! after your message!!! I am melting aaaaa you are too too sweet 🥹🥹🥹 the brainstorming sesh was so much fun for me, I hope I managed to capture a nice camping experience overall hehe.

everyone needs a Nico in their life to camp with, imo. jack's just luckier than the rest of us lololol

these two have been so married lately I think it's making me feel extra sappy writing them. just so fond of each other!!

thank you so much for reading!! and this incredible feedback, I'm v lucky I got to chat so much with you about fics. I'm going to be the one going back to re-read your msg ehe 🩵🩵🩵

[radishhqueen]

2024 Writing Roundup!

tagged by @bobtheacorn <3

Words Posted:

about 40k, give or take! ao3 says 75k but i think it's counting all of the ol' switcheroo, half of which was published in 2023.

Additional Words Written:

guh. listen. half of my active wip documents were created before 2021. there's words in there. idk when they're from <3 but probably add about 40k, that feels right.

Fandoms:

Rise of the TMNT

Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Batman

guys i am not beating the "interests of a 12yo boy" allegations 😔

Highest kudos + Highest Hit One-Shot:

probably just by virtue of being the most populous fandom on the above list (Batman), my one-shot Twice Over won both of those categories despite only being published in November lol

New Things I Tried:

well first of all, i published fic that wasn't TMNT. 💀 even though i have been writing pretty consistently since like, at least 2018, most of what i wrote was centered on my dnd campaigns or other roleplays i was in.

i wrote and published some flash fiction, even though that hasn't historically been my jam!

Fic I Spent The Most Time On:

the ol switcheroo....... the back half of that fic kicked my entire ass. much emotional processing had to happen. i love it dearly and i'm so so so glad i'm done writing it <3

Fic I Spent The Least Time On:

Not 100% sure on this one, since I actually published a couple short fics this year, but my guess is Freaky Friday. i had a pretty clear image going into it, and I'm pretty sure I hammered it out in like 30-45 min.

Favourite Thing I Wrote:

ok i know i just said that the ol switcheroo haunts my nightmares but it is also definitely my favorite thing I wrote in 2024. I haven't been delving much into rottmnt fics this past year, but I feel like I was able to convey a fresh look on a F!Leo comes back to the past AU.

i struggled a lot to write the ending, but i am very happy with how it came out! i think it tied up all the loose ends nicely, while not minimizing Casey's grief or his recovery process :)

Favourite Thing(s) I Read:

I tend to be pretty stingy with my AO3 bookmarks, but there are two fics I read in 2024 that really stood out.

Creation of a Philosopher's Stone by @ocean-ignition (Rise of the TMNT) - IT COUNTS BC IT COMPLETED JAN 3 2024. Draxum has to deal with the consequences of his actions. Such a good character study on a guy that doesn't usually get character studies. Also all the alchemy bits are so stylistically fun. i am binding my own hardcopy version of this (very slowly)(right angles are intimidating)

The Long Way Home by itsnathalie (Batman) - i tend to dip out of fics somewhere after 60k; my attention span isn't quite long enough. however. I stayed up and read all 111k of this fic in one night on a work night and absolutely obliterated my sleep schedule. Jason and Tim get stuck in a horrible labyrinth that is trying to kill them. Every time a question gets answered, you walk away with three more questions about the lore. I need to go back and reread it with a highlighter and a notebook. It's so good it makes me wanna do analysis.

Writing Goals for 2025:

i want to do another longfic, bc i miss it. being more consistent about writing, even just small amounts daily. however, I am a hobby juggler at heart, so I try not to be too down on myself when my word count drops bc I'm too busy knitting or w/e

New Works:

speaking of longfic! Worrying About the Check is a Batman fic i just started. eyeballing 30k-ish, but everyone knows how good i am at estimating word count.

if the tmnt bug catches me again, i've got a pretty decent outline for mean teen fighting machine's EPF induced camping trip, so that's also possibly on the docket. :)

also I've had this Raph&Casey sickfic in my wips for like 6 months i really need to get that one out of there.

Tagging: @witchofthemoss @uncannyalien @......bro idk who else is writing rn. trying not to double tag people. if you wanna fill this out then by all means <3

[nonbinaryeye]

For the fanfic asks, 3, 14 and 24 please!! 💕💕

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year?

I had really hard time choosing. Even though I'm never quite content with overall quality of my writing there has been so many lines and scenes I've enjoyed writing and rereading quite a lot.

So some hot candidate for favourite scene:

 “I am touched by the concern for my safety,” his voice lacks any gratitude. It sounds quite bitter, “I cannot help but ask though what fuels it. I do not wish to be view as a burden nor weak-“

The Dark Urge scoffs. “Don’t be foolish. I think nothing of sorts.” What a ridiculous suggestion. His flesh is soft and his skin is so easy to hear and the Dark Urge could kill him in a matter of seconds, yes. But they would never dare to consider him weak, not anymore. Enver maybe cannot slaughter streets full of people with his bare hands but that is not a skill required from Chosen of Bane anyway. He has different skills. He can destroy people with his words only, talk his way into alliance with sweet promises as well as destroy people’s life with well used information. He can command his tyrannical fear without a need to raise a hand; the Dark Urge is fascinated greatly by his skill. The violence he can commit without spilling a drop of blood. They have to wonder sometimes if it is not blasphemy to be this impressed by his abilities.

“I hope you would not dare to lie to me, dearest ally.”

“If I thought you weak, you would be long dead.” 

from Till I Can Kill

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write?

To be honest, all 17 bg3 fics I wrote this year would qualify as "a fic I didn't expect to write". When I gave bg3 to my partner last Christmas I did not expect to really like it. Even when I got charmed by it, Gortash was after the first meeting one of the last characters I've ever expected to feel any fondness towards. Alas by now it is a pattern that the most annoying irredeemable smug guy I dislike from beginning becomes my fave so here we are now.

24. favorite fic you read this year?

Storm Warning

I normally would say that it is too hard to pick favourite and I would like to eventually make some rec list with my favourite bg3 fanfics but the winner of the best fic I've ever I've read this year is clear. This fanfic changed my brainchemistry.

I could write an essay trying to recommend it to everyone into durgetash but to be honest I believe everyone must have read it already.

[hopetorun]

6, 29!

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

instead of being like, i read my friends' fic a lot! i am going to throw some older and non-hockey fics that i find myself going to back to frequently into this answer. i've read all of these numerous times over numerous years and they always make me so happy

Friday Night Arrives Without A Suitcase (hrpf, danny briere/claude giroux) Apres moi le deluge (generation kill, brad/nate) Mr Webster's Wager (kj charles society of gentlemen, ash/francis) Loss and Light (geishaverse, alina/nikolai) (this is by a friend but not like a friend who is on tumblr whose fic i rec all the time so it’s different) A Month of Sundays (hrpf, gabe landeskog/erik johnson. i think i have a pdf somewhere where the embeds aren't broken lmao) Wants and Needs (hrpf, jeff carter/mike richards) Something Old (hrpf, danny briere/claude giroux) you’re in my blood like holy wine (game of thrones, jon/sansa) A New Mode of Living (band of brothers, speirs/lipton, misc background pairings) Don't You Shake Alone (generation kill, brad/nate)

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

okay here's a real deep cut. back in the year 2013 i wrote almost all of a nate/jo soulbond fic that i never finished and never will for complicated personal reasons. anyway here's the opening

You're not supposed to bond this young. You're not. Of course, Jo can tell himself that as much as he wants, it won’t change the fact that he can feel Nate’s thoughts tugging at him from across the ice, sharp and precise. It’s not like hearing Nate’s voice in his head, nothing that clear, but Jo can tell what he’s thinking about—open passing lanes, whether he can stickhandle past the defenseman, Jo approaching down the wing, just visible from the corner of his eye. Nate stumbles over nothing and loses control of the puck.

[kay-elle-cee]

Hi wow hello omg!! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this Ask the Author with me (': I just have a few questions about your first ever smutty fic, Things That Haven't Happened Yet...

What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Which smut scene did you write first?

Do you plan to write more smut?

What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Whose POV was harder to write?

Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

[SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

my article will be published in vanity fair next week, thx again for interviewing w me <3

Omg Charles 🙈 Thank you so much for all these questions, I'm so so so happy you loved TTHHY and am HAPPY to answer these questions!

Under the cut for spoilers and NSFW discussion!

1. What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Ah this is so hard, because honestly I think it’s a tied between the first two. Because the first one is just the raw kind of heat and frustrated passion, but the second one is a little of that with the introduction of “oh wait actually maybe that’s not all it is”. If I HAD to choose, I guess I’ll say the second. Would love to hear other people’s opinions!

2. Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Okay I had to go back and reread them all and maybe it’s a bit of a cop out but I love the shower scene. It’s less detailed than the others but it’s very clear in my head and I liked the transition between the sex and the more intimate moments.

3. Which smut scene did you write first?

I mostly went in order for this fic! So that first time in the Order library was the first! (The only scene I remember writing out of order was that final scene outside of cottage—I've had that written since before chapter 3 was posted!)

4. Do you plan to write more smut?

I do! It won't be in everything I write, but I do have some other concepts/fics in my drafts. I unexpectedly had a ball with this and it's kind of hard to stop lol.

5. What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Shower scene. Hands down now and forever the shower scene. The idea that that's kind of like the shift in everything, and them finishing but just....staying there, connected, kissing (and through those kisses, at least on James' part, communicating things he's too scared to say). And then the follow up and the intimacy of just like, being together and showering together and those kind of gentle, not necessarily sexual touches. UGH. I'm sorry this is the scene I'm most insane over.

6. Whose POV was harder to write?

Weirdly, Lily's? I feel like I've been SO in her head lately for some other projects, it was just nice to be in James' head. And James is very straightforward, I think, with what he feels in this fic, whereas Lily has to come to terms with it. (Not that I don't LOVE writing that, but I think just wanting to make sure I wrote that believably contributed to a little more friction while writing Lily).

7. Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

Okay so. I think for Lily for so long this has just (in her conscious mind) been about physical attraction. Her garden dream is the most...I'll say out there of the fantasies—all of James' were private moments (even the drunken alleyway snog), but Lily's garden moment was I think the riskiest we saw (OUT in the OPEN). So WITH all that preamble, I think Lily's dreams were a little more out there and riskier (against a window, chances of being caught, etc) BUT I think she's a bit better at controlling herself once they're together, and it's James that can't keep his hands off her and possibly instigates more of those scenarios.

8. [SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

Listen, maybe it's because I'm old (compared to them) but I do think they ate lunch. I think it was a very quick lunch and Lily was adorably a little nervous having him in her little flat, but James was just kind of in awe of this place he'd only seen like once irl and then reoccurring in her dreams of them. When they were done with lunch (or ate what they both deemed was 'enough for now'), she showed him her appreciation for the garden. They did not make it to her bedroom.

Thank you SO much for these questions, Charles! They were so fun to answer and I'm always happy to scream about my fics into the void. 🥰