#need to keep trying to level up though but it feels like such slow progress sometimes

[monmatch]

I could lie and pretend there's some kind of lore behind this but in reality I just wanted to draw a stupid bat outfit 🦇

[p0orbaby]

Getting You Alone Isn’t Easy

summary: two reckless lovers, one ill-timed call, and zero chance of stopping

warnings: suggestive but not explicit

a/n: the length of time it took me to decide on a title for this was painful

word count: 1.5k

part 1

-

You’re draped over Alexia, straddling her in the faint, golden light that sneaks through the blinds. Her hands grip your hips in that familiar way, like you’re the last thing keeping her from floating off. You’re gasping, breathless, clinging to the taut warmth of her body beneath you as though the world is ending and this is your only way to stay grounded. Her hands, usually gentle, are digging in hard enough to leave bruises, but she’s sweet like that, knows exactly when you need to feel it. You can almost picture the bruises they’ll leave behind, thumbprints like violet ink smudged across your skin, each one a reminder that she was here, and that she wanted you badly enough to leave a mark.

It’s been a day, one of those long ones that started with a sun-blinded hangover, progressed into a searing headache, and then—once you forced yourself to actually acknowledge the calls you missed last night—moved rapidly toward near apocalyptic levels of panic.

Somewhere between the drink you had to “take the edge off” and the fourth one you drank without even thinking about it, Alexia texted you, and it felt like a solution, or maybe a distraction, though those two things are the same to you most of the time.

So here you are, in the thick of it, your bodies wrapped around each other, your mind slipping into that strange, dreamlike state where it feels like your skin isn’t your own. Everything’s heightened—her touch, her scent, the whisper of her breath on your neck. You’re right at the edge, teetering, and then—

Your phone rings.

Of course it fucking does.

At first, you ignore it. The vibrating hum is muffled against the sheets, barely noticeable above your own heartbeat, but then it rings again, louder this time, insistent. It’s like a drill sergeant at dawn, determined to ruin whatever peace you’d managed to find. You freeze, eyes half-closed, but Alexia’s hands don’t loosen. She’s looking up at you with an expression that’s half bemused, half annoyed, as if she’s only just managed to convince herself that you’re here, and now you’re about to ruin it with some petty, buzzing bit of reality.

You almost get through it, on the cusp letting it go to voicemail or hurling the damn thing into the bottom of your Birkin where it belongs. But something in you—a survival instinct, maybe—forces you to reach for it, fumbling as you do so. Alexia’s eyes follow your hand, then flick back up to yours with an exasperated look that says, Really? Now?

You manage to grab it without rolling entirely off her, though it’s a close call. Her hands move down to your waist, still holding you in place as you glance at the screen, and of course, it’s George. It’s always George. You swear he has some kind of sixth sense, an uncanny ability to detect the exact moment you’ve slipped into some semblance of happiness, so he can yank you back with some catastrophe or another. The man is a walking interruption.

“Don’t,” Alexia murmurs, pulling you back to the matter at hand, her voice soft but firm, her hands slipping up to your ribs with a kind of slow, determined patience. But you know better. If you don’t answer now, he’ll only call back five more times, and each time, he’ll sound more panicked, until he finally leaves you a voice note that’s somehow worse than the call itself.

“I have to,” you mutter, as you answer, attempting to clear your throat and sound like you weren’t just seconds away from giving in to everything she was doing to you.

“Hello?” you say, trying and failing to keep the breathlessness out of your voice.

George’s voice crackles through the speaker, shrill and brimming with that particular brand of theatrical urgency agents reserve for “crises.” He sounds faintly nasal, the sort of voice you imagine would belong to a man with an allergy to anything fun. You imagine him sitting in his cold, grey office somewhere in Soho, every surface immaculate and white, his expression permanently fixed into a grimace of perpetual disappointment.

“You need to sit down,” he says, voice pitched in that “I’m barely holding it together” tone that never actually means anything good.

“I am sitting,” you manage, though it comes out sounding more like a gasp than anything else, because Alexia—God bless her—is now trailing her lips along the column of your throat, completely unbothered by the fact that you’re very much occupied now. In fact, you’re convinced she’s doing this on purpose, her eyes meeting yours with that devilish glint that says she’s fully aware of what she’s doing. You pull back and give her a look—part warning, part exasperation—but she only grins, slowly, like she’s daring you to keep up the charade.

George doesn’t miss a beat. “There are photos,” he says, each syllable dripping with an ominous weight that would make anyone else think he was delivering news of a tragedy.

“Photos?” you ask, as Alexia’s hand slips a little higher, her fingers just grazing the edge of your panties. You’re barely holding it together, biting down hard on your lip to keep from making a sound. “George, there are always photos. What are you on about?”

He sighs, the kind of exasperated sigh he reserves for when he’s forced to explain the intricacies of your own life to you. “Not just any photos,” he says, voice dropping to a whisper that somehow makes everything sound worse. “These are… explicit”

“Explicit?” you repeat, your voice catching because Alexia’s lips are trailing across your collarbone now, her fingers dangerously close to places that make it impossible to sound remotely professional. “Define explicit, George”

He pauses, a beat of silence so thick with hesitation you can practically see his nervous, tight-lipped expression. “You and Alexia. On that yacht. Full-on… everything. Let’s just say someone with a very long-range lens took a rather extensive interest in your… activities”

It takes a second for the words to register, but when they do, it’s like being doused in cold water. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of everything—the sweat on your skin, Alexia’s fingers toying with you, her mouth now having moved to the swell of your exposed breast. You can’t tell if you’re more annoyed or amused by the fact that, somehow, your most private moments have once again become public property.

Alexia looks up at you once more, eyes glinting with something between curiosity and enjoyment, as if she can tell exactly what George is saying and finds the whole thing hilarious.

“So you’re telling me,” you say, trying to sound casual, though it’s hard with Alexia’s hands and mouth all over you, “that someone out there’s publishing wildlife documentaries of my sex life?”

“Don’t be flippant,” George snaps, though his voice cracks a little, like he’s barely holding it together. “This is serious. The Daily Mail already has them. And they’re… well, they’re explicit. The kind of thing they’d plaster on the front page if they could get away with it”

For a moment, you consider the insanity of it all—your life, reduced to some tawdry tabloid spread, the kind of thing boring nosey housewives read in supermarket queues. You imagine the headlines, the breathless, shocked tones they’d use to describe “the scandal.” Never mind the fact that you’re not the first celebrity to get caught like this, nor will you be the last. But still, it stings in that strange, twisted way fame always does, a reminder that your life isn’t really your own.

“I’m sorry, George,” you say, barely stifling a moan as Alexia’s hand moves just right, making it almost impossible to keep up the conversation. “But I don’t exactly have a solution for you right now”

George lets out a strangled noise. “Well, you bloody well better come up with one. Unless you want the world to know what you look like without your clothes on. Which, I might add, is not exactly… career-friendly”

You stifle a laugh, more out of habit than anything else. Alexia’s fingers are moving with that slow, calculated patience she knows drives you mad, and you can feel your resolve slipping. “Look, George,” you say, your voice strained, “I’ll call you back. After I… handle things”

“What? You can’t just hang up on me!” he practically shrieks, but you’re already pressing ‘end call’ and tossing the phone aside.

The phone lands back somewhere on the bed, George’s panicked voice cutting off abruptly. For a moment, there’s silence, and then Alexia lets out a low, throaty laugh, her eyes alight with amusement. She reaches her free hand up, trailing her fingers along your jaw, and there’s something wicked in her smile that makes you forget the world outside the bedroom.

“Where were we?” you murmur, leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss, slow and lingering, the kind of kiss that makes you forget everything else.

“Right here,” she whispers, her voice soft but possessive, and you can’t help but smile as she pulls you back down, your bodies tangling once more as you lose yourself in her warmth.

[7ndipity]

First Time

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: What the members would be like during their first time with their S/o

Warnings: +18 mdni, smut, swearing, mentions of oral, fingering

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I hope you like it!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I feel like the first time with him would be slightly planned, with flowers and candles waiting when you come home from a lovely date together. But you still make sure to let it happen naturally; if the vibes aren’t right, then he’d happily just kiss you and then call it a night.

If the vibes are right tho, he goes all out.

He can be quite intense at times, but he’d do his best during your first time together to still be gentle with you, with lots of kissing over every bit of your body that he can reach.

I think he would try to keep his own need in check at first, focusing on making sure that you’re completely relaxed and feeling as good as possible.

Once he’s actually inside you though, he would lose all of his composure, rocking into you at such a desperate pace that it takes your breath away.

Afterwards he would be extra soft, and probably a bit shy, hiding his face in your neck as you lay together talking.

Yoongi:

I see your first time together happening very naturally, whether it’s after a romantic date night or the result of a studio makeout session that escalated into you both grinding against each other for relief.

There’d definitely be some tongue technology™ happening. He seems very much to feed off others pleasure, so he would make sure you cum at least twice for each time he does.

Lowkey think he’d prefer you to be on top, especially for your first time together. He’d love being able to hold onto your hips while watching you with glazed over eyes as you find the rhythm and pace that has you both moaning.

Once you both get close to cumming tho, he’d take over a bit, gripping onto you tighter and thrusting up into you so hard that it sends you over the edge almost immediately.

Aftercare would be very soft and quiet, with him tending to you so gently and asking how you feel or if you need anything. He’s also definitely a cuddler, keeping you close for a long while after.

Hobi:

I see Hobi being very sweet and caring during your first time together.

Even though it was rather spur of the moment, he would still want to go slow and take his time with you, making sure that you were both fully comfortable with whatever is happening before things progress to the next level.

There would be a lot of experimenting with different things. He wants to learn every little thing that makes you feel the best and then push them that little bit further to make you see stars.

Despite the intensity of it all, I think he would still be quite playful and very ‘Hobi’ about the whole thing, both of you giggling and teasing each other even as you’re chasing after your highs.

I’ve said it before, but he’d be A+ with aftercare, making sure you’re clean and comfy before pulling you close again and telling you how much you mean to him.

Namjoon:

I see Joon going one of two ways during your first time together:

1. Super soft and tender with lots of soft touching and praise or…

2. Absolutely just fucking railing you after you both snap because you’re both just super desperate and can’t take the tension anymore.

Either way, he’d be super passionate, touching and kissing you with a bruising intensity.

I feel like he’d be very busy with his hands; one second they’re teasing over your chest, the next they’re slipping between your legs to tease and stretch you out for him(he’s very big on prep and foreplay, argue with the wall)

Once he’s actually inside of you, he’s a bit rougher, snapping his hips into yours hard and fast till you're both dizzy with pleasure.

Afterwards he would be super soft and gentle with you, making sure you have everything you need before you drift off to sleep in his arms.

Jimin:

Jimin would be very sweet and passionate, planning out a cozy evening in together, so that you could take your time together without feeling rushed and pressured.

It would start out innocent enough with just some soft, slow kisses, but his hands and lips have a habit of dancing around and making your head go fuzzy, and suddenly you’re straddling his lap and your top’s gone

I see him being a bit of a tease, wanting to see just how desperate and riled up he can make you for him before he finally sinks into you, teasing you with a hand between your legs while he leaves marks along your neck and chest, whispering tiny praises to you as he goes.

Once he finally feels you around him though, he turns almost as whiny and needy as he made you, thrusting deep and fast, desperately chasing your highs while still mumbling praises into your skin.

He would be so sweet with aftercare, not letting you lift a finger while he makes sure you’re clean and hydrated before cuddling up with you and talking til you both fall asleep.

Taehyung:

Tae would want your first time together to be very romantic, tho his perception of ‘romantic’ changes depending on the situation.

Like yes, obviously rose petals and candles are very romantic, but the idea of you both just getting completely lost in the moment and each other while you were supposed to be watching a movie or something is also very beautiful to him.

Either way, he would fucking worship you, tracing over every inch of your body with wide eyed reverence. 

I also see him getting a bit carried away and cumming a little faster than he would’ve preferred, but neither of you would really mind, especially since he’s probably ready to go again almost immediately, lol.

He would be very clingy afterwards, holding you close or laying on your chest, tracing patterns on your skin as you talk until one or both of you fall asleep.

Jungkook:

I think the first time with Jk would be very spontaneous and playful.

I see it happening after you’re both just like hanging out at his place and what started out as just a few teasing kisses spiraled into you pressed into the sofa under him as he fumbles with the buttons on your top.

He’s very much a tease, toying with edges of clothing or just ghosting his hands over where you need him most, but his own eagerness and need would keep him from being too mean, giving in almost as soon as he feels how wet and needy you are for him.

He would be soo intense, but would still try to keep you both grounded in some way, holding your hands tightly in his as he pounds relentlessly into you.

Aftercare would be where more of his soft side would come back, holding you close while you both catch your breath and then helping you clean up and making sure you have water or snacks afterwards.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @universal-travel-er @bo0ghol @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Fluffvember Day 15 - In the Firelight

Twilight was cold.

A land that bathed in shadow naturally didn't have the same warmth to it as the land of Light. But the coolness of it was crisp and pleasant, refreshing and soothing.

Midna was used to the cold of Twilight. But this chill was far different, and even she shivered a little when she wasn't hiding in the shadows.

So she wasn't surprised when, halfway through traversing the manor those beast people lived in, Link finally succumbed to something. They'd been traipsing around in this forsaken frozen wasteland for at least a week, between tracking down the mirror share and then exploring the mansion. They'd been here for half a day and had already been misled what felt like a dozen times, leaving Midna growing progressively more frustrated despite her effort to just stay at a level of exasperation instead of outright anger.

The Yeti woman was sick. Midna tried to be patient. But the more they moved, the more she'd noticed that Link too was sniffling and shivering, that with each blow from an ice monster he slowed down even more.

When he couldn't swing the ball and chain that he'd collected, Midna had finally stepped in, forcing him to take a break.

"We'll resume tomorrow," she said evenly, trying to keep the annoyance out of her town. It wasn't his fault. He'd gone out of his way so many times for her. The least she could do was be patient one more day and make sure the idiot didn't get himself killed over a cold.

So here Link sat, curled in on himself by the fire. Midna wished she could go to the next room herself and get the soup that was being made for other sick occupant of the room, but she couldn't. So she watched Link shiver, feeling helpless.

Her frustration grew, and she aimed it at Zant. No one would be suffering if it weren't for him.

"Link," she said softly. "You need to eat. Why don't you have some of that soup? We've gathered half the ingredients, anyway."

She couldn't quite help the sarcasm in her tone, but Link smiled at it, typically finding amusement in her quips. She smiled back, though she wasn't sure he could see it.

Sniffling, Link moved to get up, shuffling sluggishly towards the other room. Yeto was kind, fretting over Link's state and asking if perhaps he had gotten his wife's illness. He insisted he would make soup for him too, offering him a large helping and shooing him back to the other room.

"Aw, they're adopting you," Midna teased with a snicker.

Link raised an eyebrow at her, but whatever reply he had was covered by a heavy cough. Sniffling, he slumped on the ground, sipping at the soup.

"Oh, little human sick, uh?" Yeta asked in her soft, weak voice. "Cold?"

"I'll be fine," Link said shakily with a gentle smile. The sight of it made Midna sigh a little - Link was...

She'd never met a man like him. She'd just say that.

"Eat," she ordered mildly. "You can cheer up everyone else with your chubby cheeks and cute little smile later."

Link flinched, looking at her, blushing. Midna felt her heart rate spike--that--she hadn't--that came out wrong. Thankfully, his reaction seemed less flustered and more embarrassed, as to him she was nothing more than a shadowy imp, but...

She shook her head. She wished she wasn't starting to hold such feelings, but...

It didn't matter. None of it mattered. What mattered was defeating Zant and getting home. The separation between Light and Dark had to be maintained.

The Ordonian Hero sighed, sipping the soup a bit more before just holding it in his hands, shivering.

"Ah, yes, cold," the strange, large woman commented, nodding. "Little human should come here."

"He's already by the fire," Midna said, though she knew she couldn't be heard. It was a little frustrating right now.

Well. It had been frustrating this entire time. She wasn't in the habit of being quiet or ignored. This entire certainly had been humbling.

Link looked like he was going to argue something similar and say he was fine, but Yeta shifted a little in her bundled up state, humming quietly. "Cold, uh? Come here, blankets warm. Fever warm."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Link said, though the way his teeth chattered didn't do him many favors.

Yeta shifted again, coughing as she did so, and Link hastily moved to her to prevent her from straining herself.

"We find key in morning," she said as she shuffled closer to Link, pressing him between herself and some cushions just by the fire.

Midna snickered as Link was practically drowning in the Yeti's quilts and fur, but his shivering at least stopped. He barely got through half his stew before he started falling asleep.

Yeta hummed, watching him a moment, and then looked at his shadow. "Voice sleep too, uh?"

Midna jumped, startled. Did she--?

Shaking her head, she grew quiet, watching Link in the firelight. Honestly, he looked far more comfortable than he had in a while, despite the cold that was running him down. Yeta smiled and closed her eyes.

The Twilight princess had to marvel at the kindness she'd seen on this journey. It...

Her people were not cruel. But being in her position, she wasn't entirely used to seeing people at their best. This had...

If she could take anything from this disaster and adventure, it was that people could be kind. And Link was the prime example.

Midna sighed, heart warm, and disappeared into the shadows.

[sparrowrye]

Alastor x Fem! Reader {soulmates} Part 13

Synopsis: soulmate AU where you have the same mark on your body as your soulmate, and if your soulmate dies, you die too. Alastor needs to make sure that his soulmate is safe so he can continue his reign - whatever that takes. Though it looks like we have a couple secrets of our own.

Previous Part

Part 12: didn't ask for it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How am I to blame for this?" Alastor demanded.

"You don't exactly have a relationship with the girl," Rosie responded. The two of them still stood in the library. "She's your soulmate. No one expected you to even have one."

"She's infuriating, that's what she is. And you know just as well how I feel about soulmates." He turned away.

Rosie wasn't having it. She put her hands on her hips with a sharp, "You could at least be nice to the poor thing. She looked terrified the first time you brought her to me. A lot has happened to that girl and now she's trying to learn magic while also dealing with your grumpy ass. No wonder it didn't work tonight."

"It didn't work because she is not mentally strong enough to handle it."

"I don't think you're giving her enough credit, my friend. She's come a long way. Not many people can unravel a curse like she is."

"She is slowing down my progress and is a risk to everything I've built."

"Well if ya put more effort into having a relationship with this girl, that might no longer be the case."

"I will do no such thing, Rosie," his voice grew heavy with static, "If it wasn't for this soulmate magic I'd have killed her already."

"Alastor," Rosie's voice softened, "she needs your guidance. If you train her to your level, you'd never have to worry about her again. She has a lot more magic stored away, I can feel it. And I know you can too." She straightened his bow tie.

"Last thing I need is for an out of control soulmate who I can't keep under wraps."

"Oh goodness Alastor," she put a hand to her head, "You're a real jerk sometimes, ya know that?"

"I'm aware." His voice turned chipper.

"Tell you what? We'll stop with the mind magic for a couple weeks to give you, and especially her, a break. But, in return, I want you to read a book on soulmate magic. And have tea with me to talk about it."

"Are you attempting to give me homework?" he asked.

"Of course not," she picked up her cloth bag, "I'm giving it to you."

****

I didn't leave my room for days.

I either slept, read, paced, or took a bath. I didn't bother going downstairs to eat, resulting in Niffty bringing plates of food up to me that I hardly touched. She was the only one who I permitted in my room. Any time Husker tried to walk in I immediately chased him out. I wanted nothing to do with anyone.

Not even a day after the incident I started having nightmares about it. No matter if I was going to sleep for the night or taking a short nap, the memory instantly came back. It left me drenched in sweat and struggling to breathe. So I stopped sleeping.

That created a whole different problem.

I filled my time with more reading or pacing. I held my Human appearance until I couldn't, burying the Demon side of me as far down as I could. I blocked all my senses off and kept everything out of my head. I wanted to be a Human with Slight magic again. I wanted none of this ridiculous magic nonsense. I wanted to go back to being a human trying to find her way in the hard world.

A knock came at the door. I permitted Niffty to come in but when I looked it wasn't her. I bristled at the sight of Husker.

"I'm just bringing you dinner," he said, walking in with a tray, "Niffty is at war with the bugs in the basement."

I backed myself into the corner of the room to keep distance between us. My Demon side had come out and my shadow grew in size around me.

"I also wanted to check on you. Make sure you were oka-"

"I'm fine now get out!" I snapped. He backed away to the door but didn't leave. "I said get out!"

"I'm worried," he admitted, "I'm worried that you're going to spiral and get lost in your head in this state."

"And who's fucking fault is that?" I yelled. "I couldn't even remember the incident until you all gave me the damn drug."

"I didn't know they were going to do that." He put his hands up in surrender.

"Please, you're just as bad as Alastor. Anything that happens you just go with it. You're nothing but a bystander."

His wings and ears dropped. I realized what I said a moment too late, covering my mouth with my clawed hand. It wasn't up to Husker how he played his part. Alastor had him on a leash with their deal.

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever," he said quietly, looking down at his paws, "I get it. I'm uh...I'll leave you alone. But...just be careful not to fall into the shadows. We might not get you back this time." He opened the door.

"Then leave me there." He didn't move. "I'm tired of this all. I'm tired of the training and training and training. I'm tired of being pushed to do anything and everything. I'm tired of being told to keep climbing the ladder I didn't even want to climb."

I fell quiet for a moment. Husker waited and watched.

"I was perfectly fine on my own, you know. I had survived ring fights for twenty-one years, escaped my old master, and hid away for five more years. Now all of a sudden I'm incapable of keeping myself safe?

"If anything, I'm safer than I ever was before. I'm a Demon. I've got Full magic and natural defenses now. Before, I had nothing more than myself and a hint of magic."

"I know Al has his own reasons for keeping you here and making you learn magic," he said, "but Rosie and I are doing it to help you. To give you a better chance for when you've reached Al's level and can go on your own."

"I'm not a child!" I took a daring step towards the door, wings extended. "And did you not hear what I just said? I survived for twenty-six years in a fighting ring with nothing more than Slight magic. I can now handle myself better than I ever thought possible. I'm done with this 'magic training'. I never asked for it. I never asked for any of this."

"But rather than having a better chance at surviving, you could train into someone impossible to kill. Word is bound to get out that you're Al's soulmate."

"Forget it. You're not listening." I turned my back to him. He tried to say more but nothing came out quite right. So, with ears down, he closed the door behind him.

Later that night, when the moon was out and as bright as the sun, I left. I quickly dressed and opened the window enough for me to slip out. I opened my wings and glided quietly down the cliff face. I flew as far as I could before my wings grew tired. I walked the rest of the way to the pier, forcing myself not to look over my shoulder. Fear had disappeared along with all my other senses.

Eventually, I made it to the pier. I stood at the poles and looked down the beach. Everything was quiet save for the crashing of the waves. I could do this. I could go back into hiding and keep myself safer than ever before.

"She's getting away!" someone yelled.

I spun in circles around the post but saw no red. Neither Alastor nor Husker were near. I jumped when feet clambered overhead. A girl was sprinting down the pier with three men chasing after her. I hurried up the stairs and followed after them.

The girl had a limp and I could tell the men were getting closer by the second. She clambered on the fence at the edge of the pier and jumped! The wind pulled her back right into one of the men's arms. He held her tight as one of them secured a magic strap to her head. She was from a fighting ring.

"Let her go." I didn't realize I had spoken until all three men turned to look at me. Not even five minutes out and I was already dealing with the ring fights again.

"The hell did you just say?" one of them asked.

"I said let her go." I took a few steps closer.

"And what if we don't? You want to be her replacement?"

"No. I want to be her savior." I casted a huge gust of wind against the one man, sending him straight into the fence and sprawling into the ocean. One man held onto the girl while the bigger man took a stance against me.

He casted a blaze at my face but I shoved it into the ocean. He did this several times as I took one step after the other towards him. I tried using wind to move him but that did very little.

I carried a wave over the fence and took his feet out from under him. He tried casting fire again but the water had dampened it. I used the remaining water and slid him across the deck. He slammed into the fence and fell into the ocean with his partner.

"Stay back!" The last man held a knife to the girl's throat. He had backed all the way into the corner. "Or I'll slice her throat."

I noticed the moon casting shadows on the deck. I looked back up at the man so he didn't suspect anything when the shadows started moving. They climbed up his leg and encased his head in darkness. I casted myself over to them and pulled his hand away from her neck.

I grabbed his throat and threw him up and over the fence, plunging down to the dark waters below. The shadows returned to their original spots. I then turned to the girl who was trying to unclip the headband.

"Let me help. Where did you come from?"

"A ring fight." The girl seemed to be in her teens. She had short hair clipped well above her shoulders.

"Well, you're not going back there again." I tossed the headband into the water.

"But I have to," she said.

"Why?"

"Because my friend is there. We made a promise to get help when the other one got out." She rubbed her hands over her arms in an effort to get warm. I put my arm around her as we walked back towards the town.

Many times I had seen the police try to take down a ring fight. There was always a guard force that kept them at bay while guests ran and masters grabbed their fighters. The magic-dampening drug was the easiest and quickest way to move us without a fight. The police never succeeded in saving us.

But that was because they used brute force. They didn't know how it worked on the inside. I did.

"Can you show me where it is?" I asked her, an idea suddenly springing to life in my head.

"I have to go to the police first—"

"I know. But if the police try to take it down now, they'll all scatter. I can get your friend out and all the others tonight."

"But...the police can send officers—"

"You're right." I stood in front of her with my hands on her shoulders. "You're right, they have the manpower. But sometimes that's not what is needed. They don't know how it works in there."

"Do you?"

I pushed my lips together. "Yes."

"You're...a master?" She stepped away from me.

"What? No. No! I'm...I was a ring fighter."

"Oh. Really? What's your name?"

"Python."

Her eyes widened. "Who was your master?" she asked slowly.

"Master Striker."

Her mouth dropped open. "You...you're...what are...you escaped?"

"A couple years ago, actually." I wasn't expecting her to know me. How many fighters knew my name? How many of them feared my name? Did some of my opponents dread hearing my name against theirs? I shook the horrible thought from my mind. "So now you know why I think it's best not to involve the police yet."

"But what are you going to do? You can't do anything against Full masters."

"I'm not. Everyone leaves before dawn. No one is there except for the guards and the fighters. Tell you what, if I don't succeed tonight, you can go to the police. Does that sound fair?"

She thought for a moment. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:

It hurt so bad to write the scene where she yelled at Husker. But I promise I'll make up for it when I publish the next chapter. I'm so excited for it!

[otakween]

Digimon World 3 - 17 Hours in

Now that I'm like 1/3 of the way into this game, I thought I'd give an update on how it's going. I try to play 1-2 hours a day almost everyday, but it can get grindy so progress is slow n' steady. So far, this is the most normal and recommendable Digimon game yet! No insane mechanics to drive me nuts and the environments/music/other aesthetic stuff is vastly improved over Digimon World 2. See my miscellaneous musings below.

Notes:

This game is actually really fun and satisfying!! Unlike Digimon World 1 & 2 your progress isn't torn to shreds every few minutes by some bogus digivolving mechanic! You don't have to constantly start from scratch raising your diigmon. THANK GOD. Well...I guess you would have to start from scratch if you go beyond the 3 starter partners, but I'm just ignoring that part of the game for now. I'm pretty sure it's optional.

Speaking of optional, there's a lot of stuff I'm ignoring in-game right now. I haven't bothered to get a fishing rod and I'm barely doing any card battling. For some reason people would challenge me to card battles at the beginning of the game and then they just randomly stopped? Fine by me, I got other stuff to do.

The tree kicking stuff is kind of a pain in the butt, so I tried it a few times and then said "meh, this is slowing me down." I'm thinking, if the game lets me, I'll save the card stuff til the end so I can focus on one thing at a time.

The one thing about this game that is kinda bullshit is the amount of time you spend crossing the massive map, but I can tell that quick travel is gonna be a thing eventually, so I don't really mind. It's also makes it feel like the grinding battles are built-in to your travels, so that's sort of nice.

Digivolution works weird. Like, digimon digivolve into things you wouldn't expect them to. My Renamon went from Kyubimon to Stingmon to XV-Mon. Meanwhile my Patamon went from Angemon to Digitamamon, so like sometimes they get ultimate forms in their roster and sometimes they get multiple champions? Also, the digivolved digimon keeps the child digimon's name which is kinda dumb (ex. XV-Mon will be on screen but the HP bar says "Renamon.") Also, also, the digivolutions level up separately from the base digimon which is pretty confusing. I'm not sure which level number to care about!

I like that they kept recruiting other digimon very simple. You need to fight optional bosses to do it. I don't have to worry about "catching them all" this way.

Cities and dungeons are all very distinct with their own vibes (UNLIKE ANOTHER GAME I KNOW). The digimon look awesome whether in pixel or 3D form. The battle animations are fun and it's especially satisfying to see your digimon evade attacks.

Definitely glad I have walkthroughs and maps via the internet to guide me because otherwise I probably wouldn't know what to do half the time. The published guide is also scanned and on Archive.org, so that's a plus.

As usual, the plot is kinda weak, but at least I understand what's going on! When I reflect on it though, I don't think there's a single human character I'm particularly invested in. I guess it's more an adventure driven game than a story/character driven one. That's fine.

I think the game's a good level of challenging. I'm currently stuck at the Byakko City leader battle which is the first time I've really gotten stuck thus far. I don't feel frustrated though because I think I know just the combo of level grinding, training and item hoarding that will get me where I need to be.

[tinkertechy]

The Ice World Fatigue Point

AKA I'm rambling about game design this time. Have fun.

So I was playing a little game called Bear and Breakfast-You play a bear called Hank who decides to open up a BnB and bring people back to the forest because... he likes people. Fun little game, had a few kinks last I played it, might revisit it in the future. While playing, though, I noticed I hit a frustration/fatigue point in the 'ice' level, about 2/3rds of the way through the game. The normal gameplay loop was starting to wear thin, and the new mechanic added wasn't quite enough to bolster the area until you reach the last zone. A jump in difficulty and some rough pacing in the main plot didn't help matters.

Then I realized I had felt this before. I call it the Ice World Fatigue Point.

Consider that most modern video games draw a basic design philosophy from the Super Mario series; the standard environment progression. (Also known as the Sorting Algorithm of Threatening Geography) World/level 1 is always Green Hills, Oceans is usually 3/4, and so on, with Fire/Death being the last zone. The Ice realm typically falls at the 2/3ds point in this progression. Even if it's not a conscious choice, it happens far too much to be coincidence.

The 2/3rds point is also the point in the game where the gameplay loop up to this point starts to feel thin or tame; The player has mastered it and won't feel challenged by it unless something changes. Alternatively, the plot has reached a 'slow' point between the dramatic revalations and the 'dark night/point of no return'. A new mechanic or design trick needs to be added to incentivize the player to keep going until they reach the last zone.

When these two elements mix, you get Ice World Fatigue. It's not a hard and standard rule that the Ice World is the fatigue point; it just happens to be most common for that point to be where fatigue sets in. Usually a new mechanic is introduced here to try and kickstart gameplay, but it usually means sliding around pathetically until you reach the end of the level or trying to fight off freezing to death.

I'm gonna list out some games below and the point in the game where you hit 'fatigue' because you're ready to get to the final fight, but the game won't stop dragging on. See if you agree with me!

Kingdom Hearts III: Frozen World (Not helped by the drastic re-writes.)

FFXIV: Levels 35-40 (Coerthas-It can drag on when you just want to get the ship and leave already.)

FFXV: Garlemald Nifleheim outskirts. Not a lot happens here and the railroading (ha) really kicks in.

Bear and Breakfast: The Ice Chateau (Where I first noticed this trend)

Any Pokemon Game: if there's a Ice gym, it's always the 6th/7th gym.

Xenoblade Chronicles: The Arm. There's no point for that part of the story to exist, it's just filler to get to the rest of the plot.

The Legend of Zelda; Multiple games pull this, although Twilight Princess and Ocarina of Time are most notable.

Luigi's Mansion; Dark Moon: The 4th out of 5 mansions is the Ice Cheateau.

Really, Most Mario Games, due to Nintendo sticking with What Works.

I originally had a longer list, but I can't seem to find my notes. Feel free to reply with your own games!

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Made it through chapters 13-18 today and I wanted to start this one off by mentioning something that I noticed a while ago but neglected to mention here so far, which is that Feyre uses Ihr/Euch when referring to Tamlin and I think Lucien and even Alis as well (Ihr/Euch is the Formal You thats used to refer to nobility (as opposed to the more common Sie/Ihnen which is the Formal You used in others contexts)), while Tamlin and Lucien refer to Feyre by du (Informal You) and Alis refers to her by Ihr/Eugh as well. I wanna try and keep track of when Feyre starts to use the Informal You for Tamlin because its a small detail but it always signals a pretty big shift in the relationship in german-language media and I think its really neat

Anyway, now onto the other stuff; i remember that I complained about the pacing feeling very slow in my first post and I would like to say that thats gotten a lot better, at least on the level of individual scenes. When it comes to the story as a whole though, I feel like its moving unnaturally quickly. Like, its a little hard to describe but Feyres character development and her warming up to the fae feels like its happening in chunks rather than a smooth, natural progression. The fact that SJM's writing is incredibly unsubtle isnt helpful either, it just makes the unnatural-ness of it all stick out that much more. I wouldve definitely needed atleast one realization of "Oh, these guys arent that different from me and the people I knew in my life" from Feyre before she started warming up to them and feeling sorry for Andras' death because as it stands, her feeling guilty felt very sudden

While the fae are still dissappointing overall and I despise the horrible What-if-America-colonized-the-British-Isles ass layout and the exposition was clunkier than ever before, I did like all the non-high fae fea creatures, the Suriel and the Bogge in particular, its truly incredible how interesting SJM's writing can be when shes not too focused on the most generically handsome basically-human-except-they-fuckin-growl-and-roar men

Speaking of those men, I continue to find Tamlin pretty charming although hes definitely definitely not my type, my type are pathetic submissive easily flustered guys, but given that this is a book by Sarah J Maas a guy who actually has hobbies outside of fighting and fucking might be all I can hope for. Despite that, I like Luien a lot more and I find his relationship with Feyre far more compelling. Like, him giving Feyre that dagger telling her not to stab him in the back with it was absolutely lovely, not mention his incredibly interesting family drama. Like ughhhhhhh whyd SJM decide she wanted to subvert expectations by having Feyre end up with Rhysand when Lucien is literally right there. Although granted, I think a large part of the reason I feel that way is because Feyre and Tamlin havent really interacted too much in almost 200 hundred pages while Feyre and Lucien have spent a decent amount of time alone already and its a little baffling because its not like Feylin have absolutely no time together, its just that we dont really see it. Like, we dont see their almost nightly dinners and its really frustrating because Im not even someone who really enjoys this kind of bland cishet "dark romance" thats popular on booktok, but like, whats the point of a beauty and the beast retelling where you dont see the beauty and beast slowly get to know each other. Its even more frustrating when I remember that like a quarter or maybe even a third of this book is gonna be all the Under The Mountain bullshit, like you know you can just tell a smaller scale romance story in a fantasy setting without a big war right

[sleepysailorghost]

More than a mask

It was easier for Tracy to hide how she felt than it was for her to show it.

It hadn’t always been that way, she imagined- and surely she could remember herself as a child, capable of throwing fits and crying till her face was red with rage. But it was as if those feelings were locked behind a vault now.

That, she supposed, was a good way to put it. It summarized everything quite nicely.

The vault broke Tracey and she knew it. Before the end, she had been doing fine for herself. She had a happy and healthy baby, a loving and supportive husband, and good friends. She had been seeing a therapist to help her overcome and come to terms with her neglectful and abusive childhood and learn to be a better mother for Shaun.

It was slow-going. Tracey had a hard time opening up enough to actually let her therapist into her feelings. But she felt that she had been making progress.

A lot of her progress wouldn’t have been possible without Nate, she admitted. Without having met and fallen so in love with Nate, she never would have even thought that she needed help.

But then came the end of the world. Bombs rained down from the sky and destroyed the world of man. But oh- Tracey always survives.

She thought herself so clever, hiding away from the fire cast down against man in the hollow earth, but it was nothing more than a trap.

Nate died for her arrogance, just as surely as if she had pulled the trigger herself. Nate died and they stole Shaun from his arms and Tracey lived, as if her punishment was to keep living.

There is a wound in her chest that never closes.

But it will never show on her face. Not in public, not around another person. Wasteland creatures, though, know her and fear her as the creature who carried death in its arms.

This is the only way she can keep going, she knows. Keep everything contained, and don’t get close to anyone.

It is easy for her to slip back into old habits. The mask she wears just as easily becomes her face, just as easily as she discards her humanity and becomes a doll.

And then she looks for Nick. Initially, looking for him had meant nothing more than a path to find her son.

She noted, of course, that his name was the same as her friend and former partner, Nick Valentine. But she knew better than to hope that Nick was still alive in some form.

And in some way, he was and wasn’t. His memories had been placed into a synth body.

He did not, however recognize Tracey now, so she chose not to evoke their pre-war memories.

Nick may not remember the days they spent working together before, but Tracey did and those memories brought her comfort now.

He pushed, occasionally, at her mask, trying to provoke her into a smile, a frown, to build a friendship with her. But it was harder now for Tracey to let him in, to let up her mask.

She would not let him. And so he stayed an arms length away.

Eventually, he returned to his office in Diamond City, and Tracey returned to the wastelands.

She missed her friend, and hated herself for it. She hated herself for letting him get close enough for her to miss him, even if he didn’t know.

When she met Danse, she appeared like a pistol-wielding angel, rescue from the hordes of ghouls carried in her hands.

This time, Tracey was more cautious than she had been with Nick. It was easier this time because nothing about Danse was familiar.

He didn’t push either, didn’t try to get her to open up to him. They just worked together.

And so Tracey went, looking for her boy as desperately as she could, waiting to either turn up a lead or for Nick to find one.

She and Nick have discussed the kidnapping, gone over every detail that she could recall, but it was more difficult to find one man in a wasteland than you’d think.

The day they found their first lead, it was like any other.

Tracey woke in her house, a feeling of dread and anxiety overtaking her. This was nearly routine for the widow; spiked levels of fear had started following her sleep since she woke in Vault 111.

She carefully reviewed her last memories, remembering laying down for the night in her home. After that, she identified a few of her landmark items, calming her anxiety.

Tracey’s heart filled with self-loathing after her ritual was completed. She wished she was dead.

Getting ready quickly, she headed over to Nick’s office to see if he had any new work or any leads on Shaun.

She walked through the door.

It looked just like she remembered it, the pale cream walls, clean linoleum floors, and her partner Nick sitting behind his desk. She could hear Nick’s crappy coffee maker percolating, and she drank in the familiar aroma.

He looked up at her as she walked in, giving her a slight smile.

“Morning, Tracey. Ready to get to work?”

“Ready,” she said, as Nick got up to pour the coffee. He handed her a mug, black with two sugar cubes, and she absentmindedly took a sip. “How’s Jenny?”

Nick gave her an odd expression, like he didn’t understand what she was asking or why she asked. Tracey didn’t know what she had said wrong-maybe she was more tired than she thought-Shaun had cried the whole night.

She took another sip of her coffee, hoping it would wake her up a little more. She thought Nick needed to buy a replacement coffee pot-her coffee didn’t taste right, oddly bitter and chalky.

There was a picture on Nick’s desk, one she knew well. It was of Nick, Jenny, Nate and herself. They took it at the bowling parlor, a double date. She looked at it, trying to focus on the details, but it wouldn’t come into focus, the faces melting and sliding.

“Tracey?” Nick asked, and the world flashed back to reality. The photo was gone and the office was gone.

Another hallucination, Tracey thought to herself. Nick acted strangely when she asked after Jenny because Jenny had died, the coffee tasted wrong because it was wasteland coffee and they had no sugar, and she couldn’t focus on the picture because she was forgetting Nick and Jenny and Nate’s faces. Because they were gone and she was the only one left.

“Sorry, Nick.” She said, leaving it at that. She hallucinated more frequently than she would like to admit. Tracey wasn’t an expert, but she knew it wasn’t good for her to be loosing the plot like she was, and she knew she couldn’t tell anyone.

They went to the house Nick had found. They followed the tracks he had left. It was almost like he wanted them to follow, but Tracey didn’t trust herself enough to tell for certain.

The trail brought them to Fort Hagen. The building was monstrous to Tracey, a maze of tunnels, doors, synths and robots. Kellogg’s voice taunted her over the announcement system, and she fought not to rise to the bait. She kept loosing her way and having to turn back.

Finally, she arrived at Kellogg's room. She and Nick steeled themselves, but the fight didn’t go well.

It went quite badly, actually. Tracey would have died, if it wasn’t for Nick. Still, she was going to lose her eye, according to the doctor.

She had laid in Kellogg’s room for a long time after he died. She thought she was dying, even after Nick tended to her wounds.

Kellogg is dead, and she lives. Tracey always survives, she thought.

They took Kellogg’s cybernetic augmentations to the Memory Den. Although it took less than a day for them to relive Kellogg’s memories, it seemed to take an eternity for Tracey.

It didn’t make her more sympathetic to Kellogg. There was little that would. It had given them a new heading, and worse, it had given Nick a look into Tracey’s mind. Their minds were connected while they had looked through Kellogg’s memories.

He had seen her memories, seen Nate die, seen her hallucinations, seen her charge at enemies she couldn’t take and nearly die.

“Tracey,” he said, a few hours after they had finished up at the Memory Den. “We need to talk. I think you need help.”

Tracey didn’t know what to say. She felt as though she was mute.

“I know you, Tracey, and I know that you remember that we were friends before the war. I care about you and I am afraid that you are going to die. I have lost everything else, and I don’t want to loose you again.”

“I don’t know how.” Tracey said. “Nick, I’m scared.”

She hadn’t said anything like that since she woke up in the vault. She felt like the bottle was about to explode, like her mask was slipping off.

She stuttered a bit as she spoke next.

“Where do we go from here?”

That was the question. They couldn’t realistically proceed with the leads they had got from Kellogg yet, as Tracey’s injuries were quite severe. So they stayed in Diamond City for a while as Tracey healed and tried to come to terms with the fact that her baby boy was ten years old now.

Ten years had been stolen from her. She wished she were dead.

She and Nick talked a lot. Things they remembered, places they missed, but mostly people they missed: Jenny, Nate, Farmer, and Shaun. She still kept bottling up her feelings, hiding them beneath her mask.

Eventually, she was recovered enough to take up the search again, her mask more firmly fitted to her face than it had been.

And then, it was time for her to infiltrate the Institute.

It was a mistake. She ran through the Institute, looking for her son, and she found him. He was in a small glass room.

“Shaun!” She called, but he didn’t recognize her. He didn’t know who she was. He panicked and then fell limp as an older man strode into the room.

He said that he was Shaun, that he was her son, and then things escalated, he started talking about how she was damaged and how he was going to fix her.

And then she fell unconscious.

When she woke up, she was in a small white room. It looked wrong-and her eye wasn’t gauzed up anymore. There was an eye where there wasn’t one previously.

I have to get out of here-I have to get out here! That was the only thought running through her head.

She clicked through her Pip-Boy, frantically trying to teleport back out-anywhere was better than here!

Her panicked fingers struggled with the dial, but she disappeared in a beam of white light. As her feet touched the ground, her mask slipped-no, it fell and she collapsed, howling with the pent up rage, fear, and sorrow.

No one approached her-as if they were frightened of what could make the icy knight turn into a maelstrom of emotions. She clawed at her eye, trying to pull the monster out of her head.

She didn’t remember a lot after that. She was later told that the Brotherhood had sedated her and took her away. For sometime after that, Tracey laid and did nothing. She felt as if she was truly broken, as if she had no hope.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Had anyone sent an ask like this yet? Fushimi works at Freddy Fazbear's. How would he do? He's good at tech and stuff (although the animatronics being possessed might make things complicated). Oh, wait! How about Munakata? How would he react to a haunted pizzeria?

Fushimi trying to reprogram all the animatronics and getting progressively more annoyed because they’re possessed, like stupid vengeful spirits getting on his nerves XD Imagine AU Fushimi taking a night job as security at a pizza place, thinking this will be an easy way to make money without having to, like, interact with humans. He’s warned to keep an eye on the animatronics and Fushimi thinks this is stupid, sure the internet has rumors about the animatronics at this place being haunted but only an idiot would think that’s true. Of course as soon as the sun goes down the animatronics start moving and going after him, like say Fushimi left the security room in order to get a drink and nearly runs into one. The animatronic tries to grab him, intending to stuff him inside the suit and kill him, and Fushimi only escapes because he’s covered in knives and stabs it in the eye, causing what should be a short circuit. Instead the animatronic is only slowed down and Fushimi barely makes it back to the security room.

Imagine rather than freaking out Fushimi is just so annoyed, like this was supposed to be an easy job and now he has to deal with someone’s idea of a bad joke. He tries to use his own PDA to hack into the internal systems of the animatronics but it doesn’t work, even though the screen indicates the electronics inside should be dead the machines keep moving. Instead Fushimi only has the security console to use in order to keep the animatronics busy until morning and he’d actually probably be pretty skilled with this, we know his information processing ability is strong and I imagine this going kinda like the Mihashira Tower attack in ROK except the possessed animatronics aren’t as strong as Yukari and Sukuna were. Fushimi would just be setting off traps and closing doors all over the place, fingers flying over the console, constantly aware of where all the animatronics are and grinning when he destroys them. By the morning he’s exhausted and annoyed though, like he’s probably just waiting for the pizzeria owner to show up so Fushimi can stab him for making Fushimi work this hard all night.

Munakata would probably find a haunted pizzeria to be a splendid challenge, this is much more intellectually stimulating than simply doing security. Imagine some AU where he’s like agreed to do night security in place of an acquaintance or something, he’s told it will be a simple job and he just needs to watch the animatronics. Munakata settles back for an evening of doing puzzles in front of the security console when he suddenly notices that some of the animatronics appear to be moving. Maybe there’s like some other employee who was intending to sneak inside to steal from the cash safe and Munakata spots that person as well, just in time for him to view them getting killed by a possessed animatronic on camera. Now aware that these creatures do in fact appear to be sentient and hostile, Munakata also realizes that they are converging on his location and he must use all the tools at his disposal to reroute and trap them.

The whole thing would be very moody and scary for normal people but I see Munakata just approaching this like a puzzle that needs to be solved, he’s not terribly worried about being murdered and is instead enjoying the activity. I feel like Munakata would be pretty skilled at handling things too, like he may not have Fushimi’s level of computer processing but Munakata is still skilled at just about everything and even if he was only given a quick overview of the control panel he’s doubtlessly already memorized it just from that. I imagine him being pretty confident as he stops each animatronic, like this is more interesting even than his puzzle. Once the animatronics stop moving in the morning he ventures out all intrigued and starts looking over them, trying to deduce what made the creatures move. When he’s later told of rumors that the robots are possessed he just takes that in stride, after all he can’t complain when he had such an invigorating new experience (however this means there are likely other unsolved murders of past night shift workers which is unacceptable, Munakata must now gather evidence so that he can bring this evil pizza tycoon to justice).

[adornesibley]

IT'S GONNA BE MAY: a Newsletter

Reading: The Land of Lost Things by John Connolly, How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

Finished Reading: Horrorstör, My Best Friend’s Exorcism, and We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix, The Secrets we Keep by Shirley Patton, The Vegetarian by Han Kang 

Podcast: Unwell: A Midwestern Gothic Mystery

Playing: God Hand and Nier (Jank is Good, Jank is Life)

Making: Doom levels

Writing: Project E and *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧NEW THING*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ (which I will talk about below)

Word Count: Word counts are just a way the patriarchy can arbitrarily muffle voices it doesn’t like… but it’s 167338 

TLDR: I talk about my new short story anthology project, word counts and the desperation of doe-eyed newbie authors, the insular nature of TTRPGs and nerd culture jargon, glossary provided for her pleasure.

Firstly, new thing! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ  I’m working on a super secret idea which I’m going to keep secret until precisely … now. It can be summed up in five words: TECHNO HORROR ANTHOLOGY FLOPPY DISK. Take yourself back to a bygone era, where the hair was big and often mulleted (wish that trend stayed dead, crimped hair stayed away but mullets came back? WTF humans) to when everyone is reading their Goosebumps or playing with their Tamagotchis. Close your eyes. Can’t you hear the dial-up now. Smell your breakfast cooking in your George Foreman grill. I know I’m talking about a large year range but for most of us millennials the 80s and 90s is just a blob monster of slow computers and corded phones and Scrunchies and listening to the radio, waiting for your fav song to play so you can hit record on your cassette player. I will keep you posted here on the progress and continue to give hints as to the full plan with all the gory details of its taxonomy. For now, this is all you get.

Project E’s progress was not so bad. I’m actually really proud of this word count. I shaved off so much this month. I was productive AF. And yet I feel compelled to continue on. The average scifi novel length is up to 150k words and I’m still well above that. Then you go to the average DEBUT scifi novel length and psht… 120k. If I remove 50k from Project E, that’s a whole book on its own!  

I’ll admit that sometimes, a book is really and truly longer than it needs to be, but let’s also admit that plenty of books get published that are CERTAINLY longer than they should be. I’m looking at you, Herman Melville! So to act as though this is an aspect which would make it impossible to publish a novel is disingenuous. The shit reality is simply that more words means more ink and pages, and publishers are scared of losing money, so unless you’re well established or the concept is a “sure thing” then they’re unlikely to give you the time of day.

I have no proof, and this is not a statement I’d backup in any legal capacity, but I’d imagine it’d also be quite easy to find a manuscript which says things you don’t like, and then force the author to gut it to fit your requested word count. Once it barely resembles its initial form, then it’ll be toothless enough to be allowed to get by. New authors are desperate to have their stories accepted. We’ll do anything. ANYTHING. This isn’t to say that Lit Agents and publishers are mustache-twirling villains. I’m saying that shitty people exist in every corner of society, and those folks would likely be happy to abuse their positions of power.

So, a month and a half ago I watched a video about the TTRPG community and its insularity. Well, technically the video was about ShadowDark, but Indestructoboy spent a significant part of the video discussing this problem. I’ve never considered how impossible it would be to understand folks in our community when we’re discussing games. “So I just got to try out a new OSR1 TTRPG2, it’s a Roll Under3 3d64 system with no Death Saves5, or HP6 and it’s entirely GMless7!” Just imagine for a second that you don’t have access to the acronyms or specialized jargon. That sentence would be word salad!

Shit, just TTRPG is useless to anyone not already in the community. Tabletop Roleplaying Games have the power to be an incredible tool for community building and a creative outlet, but by creating so much shorthand, we force folks to learn a tertiary language to even engage with the simplest examples of this style of game! I think that a good stop-gap would be a Glossary of terms in the back of tabletop roleplaying game books, but long term I think it’s pretty important to consider that maybe doing away with the acronyms at LEAST would benefit the community significantly. (Or if you’re gonna use them, consider explaining them somewhere in your post/ book/ video.)

Support weird. Support indie.

OSR either means Old School Revival or Old School Renaissance. What these means is up for discussion and debate, but the “Revival” side appears to be focused on literally reviving old-school games like Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition while the “Renaissance” side takes ideas from these old Tabletop game systems and adapts them to more modern game design sensibilities. OR AT LEAST THOSE ARE MY DEFINITIONS.

TTRPG is simply short for Tabletop Roleplaying Game(s) which generally involves a certain level of imagining the actions (theatre of the mind) of a character whom you embody in that game, where you must take on the role of someone who likely does not think or act like you would.

Roll Under is a type of system where you will be rolling dice to try to get a number lower than your character’s ability scores. (The numbers that represent their Mental and Physical aspects) If you do, you succeed, and if you don’t, you fail to complete whatever task you were attempting.

d6 is shorthand for six-sided dice, which is the cube dice most folks think of when they hear “dice.” In this example, there is a 3 at the beginning which tells you that you would be rolling three six-sided dice and adding them together.

Death Saves are a concept from Dungeons and Dragons. When your character loses all of their health points/ hit points (a number representing how healthy your character is) then they fall unconscious and are forced to roll a twenty-sided dice each time their turn comes around. If they fail to roll a 10 or higher, then they have a “failed” death save. If they roll a 10 or higher then they “succeeded”. Traditionally you need three of either of them to finish being in this unconscious state. If you get three failures, you die, and if you get three successes, your character “stabilizes” but remains unconscious for some time. There are more rules, but those are for someone running a game to explain, this gives the basic understanding, I feel.

HP is short for Health Points or Hit Points. This tells you how much damage a character can receive before they fall unconscious or die.

GMless. So, first, a GM is a “Game Master” and their job is to narrate what happens around your characters and to roleplay pretty much everyone in existence that isn’t your character. In Dungeons and Dragons they’re called “Dungeon Masters” or DMs. So, a game that is GMless simply means that there is no Game Master and instead the players are cooperatively telling the story together, usually by allowing the outcomes of dice to tell them whether they are succeeding or failing at certain tasks.

[mugiwara-no-toshokan]

Thrice Prophesized

CisFem Reader x Roronoa Zoro

CW: In-Universe levels of violence, amnesia, romance, reader gets some good bad-ass moments, but shouldn't feel Overpowered if I did my job well, surprisingly no smut in this one loves, but it's book 1 of 2.

Still 18+

Chapter 7: Cold Call

It took a couple days for you to shake the heavy feelings of failure completely, but you did your best to keep the crew from worrying. You ate regularly and focused on working your Haki and keeping yourself busy. You let Chopper monitor your wounds as much as he wanted, assuring him that you were fine, just a little tired from all the excitement.

Fortunately for you the wounds of your encounter with the Marines had been mostly superficial, at least physically. You had effectively pulled your Haki “muscle”, but Jinbei helped you make up for it with his knowledge, effectively helping you rehabilitate yourself, so you didn’t lose progress.

After a couple of days, you were healed enough that Chopper stopped fussing over you randomly and let you train with your sword. He also managed to nervously - and at the same time sternly - request you not attempt to use winter magic again. The internal damage had been minimal this time, but the Sunny lacked the facilities for deep internal wounds.

“I shall,” you interrupt yourself and bow stiffly. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You say, trying to be a little more informal.

“I’ll do my best if it happens, but please stay safe.” Chopper’s expression was one of concern, and you found yourself feeling retroactively guilty for what had happened.

The ship had stayed at the island for the last couple days, though you had moved anchor to a new location and watches had been set to keep an eye out for Smoker and the marines. Luffy, Usopp and Robin were out exploring in connection with their shared goal, and you found you wanted to get back on land, at least for a couple hours.

Straight from your room you had gone to see Chopper, and were still effectively in your night clothes, and on your way back to your room to change you came across the animated skeleton. Brook bothered you the most out of anyone else - his appearance was unsettling, but he was not a mindless undead, and after you had adjusted a little you realized he was not a bad… creature. Nami had explained his situation and the fruit he had consumed, so you understood he was essentially a spry old man with no aching joints or muscles to slow him down.

But he still looked like an animated skeleton, and it was hard to get past that.

“Ma-is-ter Brook,” you catch yourself mid word and smile sheepishly as you approach him. “Is it possible to disembark without swimming ashore?”

“Luffy and the others took the mini Merry, but there is still the shark submarine, which can be used to go ashore. There are also a couple rowboats.” He lets out a gasp. “Ah, but you shouldn’t go ashore alone, I can operate the shark, would you mind if I accompanied you?”

“If it’s not too much to ask. I just need a moment to change, and I’ll be ready.” You reply, smiling the best you could.

“It will be my pleasure - ah, it seems you have begun to be more comfortable around me, so if I could, I would like to ask a question.”

“I - er, sure. Ask away.”

“May I see your panties?”

Your mind stutters, of all possible questions that was the most unexpected you could have considered. But you had spent years around knights, and before that knights in training, and both groups could be unexpected in this way.

You tug at the band on your pants, looking down before letting the band return to your waist. “My apologies Master Brook, I seem to have no panties to show.”

“Oh.” The single syllable escapes Brook as you walk away and head to your room. You’re almost to the door when you hear him laugh, and you glance up to see Sanji with his hand over his nose and mouth again. His face is red, and he’s not looking at you.

“Good morning, Cook.” You greet him with a small smile as you go into the room to change.

You put on some clothes that at least look warm, so you’re not looking completely out of place to anyone who may come across you and Brook. Though between the two of you, you imagine his appearance is far more memorable than yours, even if you skipped about in the snow in a bathing suit.

Stepping back outside you are a little surprised to see Chopper tending to Sanji. You start to ask if everything’s alright but a hand on your shoulder stops your words and your movement.

“He’s fine.” Zoro says, “His control around women is lacking.”

There’s a moment of confusion on your face before you realize he must’ve heard you joking with Brook. You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh.

“Sor-,”

“Nah.” Zoro says, cutting you off as he lets go of your shoulder. “You didn’t do anything. He has the same thing happen when Nami praises his cooking.”

“… that sounds problematic.”

“Less so now than when we visited Jinbei’s home.” Zoro admit, a crooked smile on his face like he’s amused and irritated at the same time.

“I’m going ashore with Brook,” you say, shifting the subject away from anything that may irritate him, “if you wanted to join us.”

Zoro regards you for a second before he closes his eye. “With the Cook out for now I’ll stay on the ship.”

“Very well,” you incline your head a little and head off to find Brook.

You’re a little unsure about your decision to go ashore when you see the means of how the two of you will get there. Or maybe you regret asking Brook, thinking that Nami would’ve provided a more normal means.

“This is… metal.” You state flatly, looking at the shark submarine. “Does metal float in this world? The ship is wood, yes?”

“The ship is wood, and the submarine is metal.” Brook states in response to your questions. “Metal does not, on its own, float, but Franky is quite skilled.”

Franky’s skill was something you were very sure of, but Franky wasn’t in the immediate vicinity. After a moment of internal struggle, you get into the strange vehicle.

“I will trust your knowledge, Brook.” You say solemnly as you settle into the strange vessel. “But I am, admittedly, concerned.”

“I will keep you safe Miss (Y/N), have no fear.”

Brook steers the odd contraption to the shore - it’s a short trip, admittedly, and you quickly decide that you’ll need an excuse to ride in the submersible for far longer at some point. The view of the ocean below the waves was beautiful, brief as it was.

You hit the shore next to the Mini Merry II and jumped the short distance to snowy sand. You reached out with your haki and took a look around. The immediate area was deserted, but you could feel the tingling vibes of Luffy’s monstrous aura. He was deep in the island, and you just barely get a sense of Usopp and Robin.

They were strong, but it was hard to compare to the farm boy.

“I was planning on going for a bit of a run, Mister Brook. You needn’t accompany me if you don’t want to, but I have heard it on good authority that you’re quite swift.”

“Oh ho ho ho ho,” he laughs cheerfully. “If I lose you then I will return to the shore in advance. That way you don’t have to wait for me, but I would like to try to keep up.”

You smile, “it might be me who struggles to keep up.” You admit, stretching your limbs for a second before you began to run.

The beach was a mostly open area, one that wasn’t completely deserted, as there were a few obvious paths that cut into the forest ahead. In the summer months it might be a popular place to dive for shellfish and the like, not that anyone was diving in the winter.

The run lets you stretch your body, and your haki. Your primary focus was turning it off and on, having the armament haki flow only when you needed, and pulsing the observation haki until you needed to focus on either one. Your hope was that it would become second nature for you - something you would just do without feeling any stress or strain from it - like breathing.

Pulsing the observation haki also lets you idly keep track of Brook. He wasn’t following you exactly, but he was keeping pace. The old man was as at home with the cold as you were, and maybe even more so. He had swirls of cold around him at times that felt nothing like winter magic but manifested similarly to it.

After twenty minutes you were considering heading back when something caused you to draw your sword. Your observation haki wasn’t picking up anything you could translate, but it was setting your nerves on edge. You were vaguely aware of Brook in the branches of a tree, but you were ignoring him entirely.

If whatever was making you nervous was focused on only you then it would provide an advantage.

A strong cold wind kicked up around you and a sudden squall of snow whipped by you. It wasn’t normal snow, this felt cold, and the flakes stung your skin more than mere cold would be able to do. You pulsed armament haki and felt the snow flinch.

You put your sword away and swung into the snow like a brawler - but it was easier to control haki in your fists than through your sword. Knights learned to fight unarmed, but you hadn't ever been as comfortable with boxing as you were with your sword. In this instance, however, you had little choice.

The snow did more than flinch this time and retreated from you coalescing into a green haired woman with golden eyes. She looked unbothered, even though you both knew she had attacked you unsuccessfully.

“A snow woman,” you say, settling into a proper stance.

“You as well, running through these trees with so little on.” Her voice is soft and cool, fitting for someone who turns into snow.

“I’m warm enough.” You admit, looking at her she was wearing less than you. “I seem to have a knack for running into Devil fruit users.”

“I was deterred from my original objective and came upon you by chance,” she admits with a small smile. “I recognize your face.”

“You’re a bounty hunter?”

She giggles and it gives you a chill that has nothing to do with the snow. “I can be. But it wouldn’t be the marines to whom I would turn you over. I’m sure the Young Master has an interest in you.”

You have no love for this world’s government, but somehow you feel more inclined to be at Smoker’s mercy than this woman’s master.

“Well, then I guess we need to see who will walk away with what they want from this.” You admit and dash toward her. You can connect with someone who changes with haki, you had learned that even before you had swung at the snow, and you had Brook as backup. But there were two things about this fight you didn’t know: could her unnatural snow make you feel cold, and how much help could Brook be.

He was inclined toward attacks that were based in cold and ice, but this woman was made of snow. Did elements of Devil fruits work like elements in magic? Would his attacks be useless against her? Would her attacks be useless against him?

She dodges your first swing easily, but you can see a twinge of frustration on her face as you follow through, chaining your movements as smoothly as you could. Either she hadn’t expected you to be able to fight, or she hadn’t expected you to be on par with her, though once she speaks it turns out the answer was something else entirely.

She turns into flurries and creates distance between the two of you. “I don’t recognize your fighting style.” She says, putting words to her frustration. “You’re not a brawler, but that’s not fishman karate, or any other martial arts form I know of.”

Martial arts, and karate - there were phrases you knew. Alright, so you weren’t practiced in karate enough for it to do you any good back home, but you only needed to try and shake her. You shifted from boxing to karate as you knew it and could practically feel the snow around the woman bristle.

Karate incorporated kicks with punches, and usually it felt clunky to you, but you’ve felt stronger and lighter since coming to this world. You leapt over the demon swordsman accidentally, and your legs seemed to vault you forward faster than they had before. Maybe there was something about this world that was affecting you - either enhancing your muscles or a lack of gravity compared to your home world.

Whatever the case you leap into the air, leading your attack at the woman with your foot. The look of surprise on her face was enough to invigorate you, and after you landed you shifted again. Coating your hands in haki you reached for her even as she turned to snow, and felt your hands grab onto something tangible enough for what you needed. Stepping into the grab you use the momentum to toss what you had grabbed up and over your shoulder, forcing it into the ground in front of you.

The strange sense of something solid in your hand turned into the snow woman’s leg as she reformed with a cough in front of you. You had her rattled, and that gave you an upper hand, you landed a solid blow into her jaw, but even as you felt her body give under your blow she was shifting into snow.

“That marine got lucky the other day because I didn’t understand something fundamental.” You admit as she reforms some yards away from you again. “But you’re not as combat tempered as him, and I know a lot more today.” You settle back into a boxing stance, since it’s the style of unarmed combat you’re the most comfortable with, and shift your weight back and forth a couple of times before you reinforce your legs with haki and bolt toward the surprised snow woman.

Her surprise melts away and you realize it a split second too late as you hit a wall of snow with your shoulder, turning just barely to avoid crashing into it face-first. In the short time it takes you to come a stop you’re incased in snow. You shift to the center of the barrier quickly and look around.

“I can keep you in here eternally, especially in the snow of this island.” She promises you. You can sense her face in the snow, but you can’t see it. “You’re welcome to try and beat you’re way out of it, but I’ll have reinforcements here before you can- ah!”

You could sense Brook from the other side of the snow and smiled. The snow lady had her hands full yet again, and that meant you could focus on getting out. Focusing on the haki flowing through you, you tried to condense it into your hands. It wasn’t mana, but maybe it could be made more effective if it was layered.

There was a strange tingle in your fingers that made you abandon the idea, at least for the moment. You were concerned the concentration was going to break your fingers before it did anything you needed it to, and you couldn’t risk that right now. Utilizing haki the only way you could at this point you started to lay into the snowy barrier. It was solid, not too unlike bricks, but it was giving way, bit by bit.

By the time you broke free you crashed through the snow in time to see Brook standing nearby. He looked like he was trying to consider how to break through the snow and had eventually noticed you were making your way through on your own.

“Forgive me, I wasn’t sure how I could safely assist you.” He admits as you step out entirely.

“I needed the practice, so it’s okay. Thank you, it was difficult to sense her inside that dome.” You say as you look around. “She fled, huh?”

“It seems I have a reputation,” Brook says, and you can hear the small smile in his words. “She felt outclassed and retreated, I did not want to pursue her and leave you alone.”

You chuckle. “I appreciate that, and I wasn’t trying to handle her permanently anyway. Do you know who she is?”

“I believe her name is Monet.” Brook answers. “Alas, she wouldn’t let me see her panties before she left.”

You laughed. You weren’t even sure what it was that you had found funny about it, but you laughed for long enough that you were apologizing to Brook while trying to compose yourself. The laughing turned to tears before you could stop it and you were crying into Brook’s jacket as he pat your head. Your emotions hadn’t had a chance to stabilize – you weren’t even in this world a week and you had nearly drowned, almost split yourself to pieces trying to use winter magic, lost your memory, lost your chance home and lost a fight because you misunderstood how haki worked compared to mana.

The only thing that was going well was that you had fallen in with the most patient, understanding, strangest collection of creatures to grace this or any other world.

“Thank you,” You say as Brook hands you a handkerchief when you finally get yourself under control.

“Of course. You have been through a great ordeal in a short amount of time, it’s okay.” He assures you.

“I just didn’t want to worry the crew. Especially not Chopper, he’s taken such good care of me.”

“… I will keep your secret, young lady.”

[therookieroad]

The Rookie Road: A Beginner's Guide to Workout Wisdom with Kirby Repaja

In the ever-evolving fitness world, getting started can feel like navigating through a jungle of information. Overwhelming, to say the least, especially with so much conflicting advice floating around the internet. Introducing Coach Kirby Repaja, someone who's been in the trenches of fitness for over six years as a professional bodybuilder.

So, whether you're a complete beginner or a seasoned gym-goer looking to level up your game, his insights will resonate with you. His passion for fitness is infectious, his knowledge is invaluable, and his commitment to helping others achieve their goals is unwavering.

Who exactly is Coach Kirby Repaja? He has been in the field for quite some time, and being so has made him accumulate a following. He now coaches many people to help them in their journey. For credentials, he is the Champion of the IFBB Nationals of 2022, 2nd Place in the 2022 IFBB Nationals Open Teens, and 5th Place in the BHC 2023 Junior Division. He has allowed us to dive into his world and see what he has in store for us today.

"What were the most impactful and significant moments in your journey?"

In retrospect, he recalls the turning point that shaped his path:

"The most significant moment in my journey was back when I got my first champion in the IFBB Nationals, where it was my men's physique debut. I survived at that prep even though I had a low budget then."

Coach Kirby explores the particulars of diet for weight management, emphasizing the significance of customized strategies suited to each person's physique and goals, using this milestone as a source of inspiration. "Regarding weight loss and weight gain, it depends on your weight, activity rate, and current physique," he says.

"The secret to it is to be consistent."

Coach Kirby does, however, provide a general rule for losing weight or fat:

"Make sure to be on a calorie deficit and hit your macronutrients."

When paired with consistency, this structured strategy is the core of successful weight management programs. At the same time, he recommends a calorie surplus while keeping adherence to macro-objectives for individuals trying to gain weight or develop a lean body.

Considering budget and accessibility, we asked him about what he would recommend to individuals striving to meet their dietary needs on a budget.

"For me, it is the basics, especially if you are only a student who budgets his money. Chicken breast and eggs are two basic sources of protein and essential nutrients. This is very sustainable and effective. You can get your protein intake and fats there. For your carbohydrates, you get them in rice, oats, or sweet potatoes."

He spoke.

Next, we asked Coach Kirby his thoughts on the never-ending debate about what weightlifting and calisthenics provide better than the other. This is the wise advice he gave based on firsthand knowledge.

"The decision between weightlifting and calisthenics is based on personal tastes and aspirations."

He says.

"Both can be combined to produce a well-rounded exercise program."

He recommends a balanced approach to muscle stimulation when designing an exercise program.

"For beginners, four exercises for big body parts in the upper and lower body are optimal."

he says. He also added that one should do at least 2-3 exercises for small body parts such as the arms and shoulders.

To end the interview, we asked him one final question:

"What is a quote or saying that you would like to impart to those just starting in their workout journey, and why this specific quote/saying?"

"Love and trust the process." He emphasized the quote by saying it is very one-to-one with the journey someone takes in the fitness world. There is no rushing it; whether you like it or not, there will be days where progress feels stagnant and slow, but the point of all of it is to learn and hone your body to its best version. There is no rushing the process; you must let it take its course to see your efforts bear fruit. And so,

"Love and trust the process."

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Would you have your starter in addition to the ride Pokémon, or in this scenario would you have to give it back to Laventon, as a one and done kinda deal after you catch a stantler? On one hand, it'd be nice to have an extra Pokémon around especially in the beginning, but on the other hand with only five ride Pokémon that'd always give you an open space for whatever you're studying for the pokedex.

Also, since you obviously can't actually use a wyrdeer immediately after he lets you ride him, would you raise the one you caught to something pretty high level to mimic what having the false nobles would actually be like before your fight with kleavor? You can catch the alpha stantler at level 42, which is nice because you wouldn't have to grind, but if you just catch that one right off the bat you couldn't actually use it in battle for like forever. If you caught a regular one, it'd be much lower level but if you grind it up you should be able to use it even if you don't technically have the star levels for it. PLA is kinda weird about that, where you only get obedience problems if you catch it above the star rank limit, and anything you catch below that limit will obey you even if you level it past that limit. Though I was looking it up and it seems like the amount of grit it has almost matters more than level, so it might not matter much how high you level it as long as your wyrdeer has got good grit levels

hmmmmm, i DO think it would be fun to "give back" your starter to lav as soon as you have a new pokemon. bc yeah it does feel more like it was meant to be a loaner than one you kept permanently. plus i think it would be fun & appropriate to keep that last slot open for giratina or arceus. sad that the starter can't actually go sit in lav's office again, but maybe you can take oshawott and then at least give it to the fields once they want a water move user, so it's at least out and about doing things.

also for this run i was imagining it being the five frenzied nobles, so that they'd sort of mimic the "summoning" mechanic you get with the ride nobles, so you'd actually want a scyther and not a stantler, but it doesn't matter for this specific thing bc i just looked it up and apparently that alpha scyther is also level 42 when you first catch it. i remembered it being in the 30s but oh well. regardless i guess the options are to either give up on the alpha thing or grind your survey rank before progressing the main questline. i think it's third or fourth star? which is actually not too terribly hard if you focus grind all your tasks.

ok i just looked it up and it's fourth star that gets you to lvl50 obedience, which needs 6000 points (i think total?) and every new task complete gets you 10 points (20 for the ones that count double), and then you get an extra 100 for completing a dex entry to lvl 10, so you'd need to rank a max of 30 pokemon to get to fourth star. less if you have extra tasks in the ones you complete which is probably likely. and there's a fair bit more than that readily available in the fieldlands. i was i think fourth or halfway through third star when i left the fieldlands in my current playthrough so it's definitely doable. and then once you've got to 50, the level curve for alphas tapers off so you can slow down a bit.

the bigger issue really is the alpha petilil & the others that don't have scripted overworld spawns, bc then you're just banking on the random spawn chance. which sucks. at least alphas don't flee from you.

and then re: grits what you COULD do, if you really wanted to go op, is do a grit grind and try to max them out early. you get grits for releasing, and zisu will swap you the next level up, so like. if you wanted to make sure they were game-accurately op. that would be the way to do it imo.

ugh you've got me thinking about logistics for too long now i'm actually going to try it

[floredaqueen]

20 Questions for Fic Writers (& Artists)

Tagged by: @buckysgrace 🥺❤️

Disclaimer!! I read ao3 fics, but I'm not able to post or type on the site because I don't have a computer. So everything I speak about will be related to tumblr, I'm SORRY!! ALSO, I will be replacing some answers about fics to art. Thank you, and I hope to see ya sooon♡♡♡

1. How many works do you have on ao3(Tumblr)?

A) I have 4!

2. What's your total ao3 (Tumblr) word count?

A) I don't even know, I don't keep track >///< (I will start doing so though.. at some point..)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A) Stranger Things and Fargo, and I want to start writing for Bullet Train too!! I'm an action girlie.. and I love a crazy man (Tangerine/Aaron Taylor Johnson). I hope to keep writing for Joe, Dacre, and Aaron.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A) I only have for 4 fics right now, but the order of the most liked would be Curiosity At First Sight, Mirame, Feeding Time, and A Bud in the Gun! I need to rewrite Pep because I hate the way I started it!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

A) Yes, I DEFINITELY DO!! I love responding to people. Everyone has been so kind and encouraging, and it's super refreshing to see the positive impact I'm having on these communities. I share my thoughts and expressions! I feel like what I do is purposeful, and I hope it continues!♡

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A) None yet!

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A) All of them end with an uplifting note so far! When I get to Nova and Eddie's story, their's will probably be the most somber.

8. Do you get hate on any fics (Art)?

A) Yes, actually! I usually don't voice my frustrations with it, but I take it as something to learn from! There was this one time where I drew Billy and shared it in a Discord server, and someone freaked out about it. They called him a "child beating racist,". It was as wild as it sounds.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

A) Damn right I do! Most of the smut I write or draw is passionate. Sweet, sometimes sloppy, but overall passionate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

A) I haven't written one yet, but I would love to! I don't know what I would come up with, but I'm sure it would be fun!!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A) No, not yet! But I hope it never happens! If it did, would it be wrong of me to be like, "I'm famous, Mom!!"?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A) No, not that I know of?? If people asked, I would translate it! Or try to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A) No, I haven't! But I would LOVE TOOOOO!! There are a lot of people i would love to co-write with, but not necessarily good enough yet to be on that level! I really want to, though! So y'know if anyone is down and goated with the sauce... uwu

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

A) ...probably Mike Ross and Rachel Zane from Suits! If not them, then probably Dick Grayson and Starfire.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A) There's a Steve Harrington fic I'm working on that I'm getting progressively slow at writing! I want to finish it, but it's probably gonna be done by the end of January of next year.

16. What are your writing strengths?

A) I'm very good at synonyms.. also, I'm very good at easing my way into a scene! Also, it's good with coming up with specific scenes, too!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

A) I'm not good at transitions or dialogue, I always end up repeating myself, and I overthink, so my writing always ends up sloppy or vague.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

A) I'm fluent in Spanish, and I love DOING IT! It's fun to keep people guessing or to have them happy or surprised at the meaning. "Mirame," just means look at me.. but with the way my story is centered, it's sensual and gives a romantic connotation behind the relationships of the characters I'm trying to "portray"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

A) Five Nights At Freddy's... no, I will not elaborate! Next Question!♡

20. Favorite fic you've written?

A) So far, I'm proud of A Bud In The Gun! When I look back at it, I'm just happy I was able to portray the grief Chrys was going through the way I did! I hope more people find that one! I know it's starting off slowly, but it's a slow-burn, I swear it'll get better!

Thanks for the tag, Gigi!♡♡

Suggested Tags!!

@imyourdaninow @trinitywifey @heartbreak-sandwich @hg-deranged-edition

At your own risk! Lol♡

[trashlie]

hey it's the same anon as last time ^^ i'll try to stop by your inbox more often when i have the time and some thoughts to share. discussing these things is fun and you make such great points about the characters and the story. i'll be signing these asks with lil anon (like lil buddy 😼) so you know it's me. and good to hear! i hope you continue to get better 🥰

i get why you're invested in kousuke's story. he is, objectively, a really interesting character. it's unfortunate that people disregard him, bc understanding him is a key part of understanding the story. and understanding him doesn't necessarily mean having sympathy/empathy for him. like on a personal level i can't stand him and want to smack him with a broom lmao but as a reader/observer it's interesting to try and understand his motivations/actions, if that makes sense 🤞

oh yeah you're completely right about kou getting worse as the story progresses. his recent development has felt like watching a car crash in slow motion - tragic, but fascinating and you can't look away. if ily was a less interesting story, a character like kousuke (typical rich asshole with some redeeming qualities) would have had significant growth by now. but that would be such a cliché, right?

and sometimes i do wonder if kousuke is doomed by the narrative, or if he eventually will be able to break free from... himself, essentially. the thing is, kousuke's is trapped. in order to grow and change, he needs to separate himself from the hiraharas/this fake reality that's been constructed from him, and see his situation from a different perspective. but in order to even want to change, he needs to grow as a character first. which he cannot do as long as he's involved with the family. it's like a snake eating its own tail. nothing/no one has been able to get through to him yet, so i guess there needs to be an outside force (maybe a revelation) that breaks him out of this cycle, shatters the very foundation of his fake reality, or maybe removes his safety net. and i really wonder what's that going to be. like... even though christmas is coming up in the ily universe, i doubt he'll be visited by the ghosts of the present, past, and yet to come and then all of a sudden he's a gentler, kinder man the next day lmaooo idk what do you think it'll be that's going to push him towards (positive) change? i think it's undeniable that kousuke needs to crash and burn first, and then maybe he can build himself up from the ground. i really do hope that's what's going to happen eventually! he is (mostly) a victim of his upbringing/environment, so it'd be nice to see him make steps towards growth/healing/being his own person. either way we're still so far from anything like this happening so who knows.

re: nol and fear - wow i didn't make the connection that nol is also driven by his fears, but you're absolutely right. i saw him as someone mostly controlled by self-loathing/self-destructiveness/low self-esteem, but these feelings are ultimately rooted in his fears. thanks for pointing that out. such an interesting parallel between the brothers.

all the ways the brothers are two completely different people with similar issues are endlessly fascinating to me (i just love me a complex siblings dynamic). you mentioned that neither of them have that family relationship with their parents at this point, and i agree. however, i think it's important to keep in mind that a key factor in nol and kousuke being such different people are that their early days were completely different.

nol had a very loving mother who shaped him during his most critical years of development (ages 0 to 5). and i actually believe nol got his best qualities (kind, caring, generous, brave, funny, etc) and morals from nessa, not rand. also, the hiraharas hadn't poisoned him yet. the layers of pain and trauma came later. on the other hand, kousuke received a completely different version of care and was taught a number of really negative traits - that his wealth and name make him better than other people, that his family doesn't function like others do and that that's normal, that he shouldn't feel guilty taking advantage of people and situations, that he deserves to have everything he wants, that his sole purpose is to inherit the company, and - as you said - that love as a reward, rather than something he's inherently deserving of. no wonder nol was/is such a threat to him - he's competition, and there can only be one winner. how can this boy, a 'mistake', have received this "reward" (=rand's love (nol hasn't actually received it but kousuke thinks he did)) so easily, when he didn't do anything to deserve it? that can only mean that nol is better, that kousuke is in his shadow, somehow inferior. and that just contradicts kousuke's entire worldview. idk it's just. much to think about.

oh wow i wrote so much, sorry about that. btw feel free to copypaste this in a separate post under a cut so it doesn't take up too much space if you feel like it, i wouldn't mind! have a good weekend 💗 - lil anon

Lil' Anon, I love it, perfect! Hehe!!!

You are SO right about Kousuke, too, in that you don't have to love a character to enjoy them. In-verse I would not get along with Kousuke or even want anything to do with him lol. He frustrates me a LOT - but right, you can understand WHY a character is frustrating. You can become invested while knowing you would absolutely fight them lol. The thing about compelling characters is that, for the most part, they are the drivers of plot and story and if they aren't a character worth investing in, you run the risk of caricatures of antagonists, villains who fall flat and cartoonish. ILY certainly borrows from the truth that everyone is going through something, no matter who they are. That doesn't always validate what they do, but as far as a story and PLOT goes, it makes everything far more interesting. That's the main thing I want people to come away with, not just as far as ILY goes but media in general. Because it's fiction, there is no harm in enjoying an antagonist. Your plot and story wouldn't be as enjoyable if they WEREN'T compelling or intriguing. When I say Kou has become a character I'm very invested in, it doesn't mean I approve of the things he does. In fact, I root for him BECAUSE I want to see him grow, because I want to see if he ever takes the reigns on his life and comes to much-needed realizations.

Because you are right - there is a big chance that Kousuke IS doomed by the narrative. I've talked about this re: Alyssa before, too, in that just as in real life, there's a chance he may never come to the terms he needs to. He may never find his way out of his safety spots, may never try to leave what is safe and secure. That's what's so important about acknowledging how fear drives him - if he cannot overcome that fear of being uncomfortable, of facing disappointment, of being outside what he finds safe and secure, then he really can't make the changes he needs to. He won't have the opportunity to see himself in a way that might give him the perspective he needs. In general, growth requires courage. If we want to grow, we have to face scenarios that bring us discomfort, that maybe make us fall apart, in order for us to learn just how much we can take, just how much we can overcome. But Kousuke has never really been in that kind of position. He's had everything handed to him, whether or not he wants it to be.

I really like the analogy that it's like a snake eating its own tail; I think that really sums up the vicious cycle and why we've not seen him wake up to reality, why things seem to go in one ear and out the other.

Over on reddit I've been talking to someone a lot about Kousuke, too, and a thought we share is that not only does Kousuke need that crash and burn - I think everyone is in agreement about that! - but maybe something that can be a wake up call for him is his career. They made some really great points, too, I'll link to their response here, but we know that Kousuke isn't truly happy in his life and career. To him, we endure uncomfortable situations, or one's that aren't fun because that's life. We don't live in an ideal world, we have to do whatever we can to get by. But Kousuke literally could have his pick of anything in the world, couldn't he? At some point, when does he realize he's unfulfilled? The whole purpose of his career trajectory was to earn Rand's affection. At what point does he realize it isn't going to happen - if he's not already at that realization? At what point does the empty, hollowness set in? When does he realize he doesn't feel fulfilled because none of this was for HIM, this doesn't mean anything to him without Rand acknowledging him? And suppose he does get that acknowledgement. Then what? The quest is over, there's no higher goals, nothing more to achieve. Oh, sure, he can go on to be the CEO as he was born to. But would it MEAN anything to him?

I'm thinking - or hoping? - that this might be the kind of thing that gives him the wake up call. That there is no point in his life that brings him joy - except maybe eating sweets lol. But that can only be a catalyst. You're right in that a big need is for him to get away from his family, for him to exist outside of their reach, to lose that safety net.

I have a couple thoughts in this regard. Whatever Yujing is working on - likely an expose - syncs up with Shinae's graduation and Nol's release from prison. It clearly has to do with the Hiraharas - and this means Kousuke, as well. When she found out Nol had pleaded guilty, she'd been looking at an old article about Nol attacking Kousuke, which we've seen may not be what we thought it was at all, that perhaps it was Kousuke who attacked and Yui blamed Nol. There's also that incident Kousuke is so DESPERATE to hide, something Yujing knows about. It seems likely that this expose, this piece, is something that could taint the Hirahara name. Even if Kousuke was not involved in other aspects, this would end up affecting him, because a major part of his identity is that he is the Heir, so what happens if his identity is that he's the Heir of a dirty family? If it becomes known that he is not the ideal gentleman bachelor he's been made out to be? Is that enough to make him step back and see his family - especially his safety net Yui - in a new light?

There's also my favorite crack theory, that Kousuke is not Rand's son. Now, again, I don't necessarily think I believe in this as much as I enjoy exploring it, but there's been a number of little moments that feel like they could be foreshadowing - or red herrings lol. Suppose it was true, Rand isn't actually Kousuke's father. Aside from the fact that he's spent his whole life trying to earn love from this man, I think it would also be detrimental in that he'd finally have to face the unsavory parts of Yui that he tries to ignore or deny. The one pillar in his life having lied to him and egged him on to chase after this pipedream, reassured him that if he's good enough, he'd be acknowledged. Wouldn't that shatter him? Again, I'm not so sure if this is likely - it kind of feels overdramatic, but then again, the deeper we delve into the story, the more those kinds of dramatics start to feel normal.

At any rate, yes, I think he needs a wake up call that will make him see his family for what they are, make him see himself in a different light. And that's just the beginning! I really look forward to our big timeskip to see where we find Kousuke, if he's yet in a place where he can start making these changes to himself, if he's got a security network to push him to make those changes (and if he cares enough to do it lol).

Also yes, yes, very good points about Nol! Nol and Kousuke are definitely foils in that Nol had the kind of nurturing, affectionate childhood that Kousuke lacked. We've seen instances of Nol surrounded by peers his own age and we might be able to assume that, aside from being teased for having such a long name, maybe he actually got along with them? But also, because of the teasing incident, Nol had that safe space in his mother - Nessa comforted him and gave him a nickname to make up for the teasing. We've never once see Kousuke receive such affection, and I just always think about that little flashback where he's in the bush watching Nessa dote on Nol and then Yui appears before him without eyes. It's such a cold relationship, it doesn't feel like it was nurturing. She goes through the motions of being a mother, certainly, but that's the thing - the difference between mother and mom. Nol had a mom, Kousuke had a mother. And we can see that even when Nol was driven by fear, even when he was trying to distance himself, he couldn't help but indulge in those traits his mother passed on to him. He started to care about the friendships that weren't supposed to matter because he's such an empathetic person. He understands loneliness so well, how could he help but reach out to people he thought needed help? But Kousuke never developed those kinds of skills or traits. How is he meant to empathize with or understand people he was literally raised to see himself apart from. They're not like him, they are Other. Literally a formative foundation of the way he views the world!

Light and shadow plays such a role in the ILY universe. Nol is literally in the shadows, but Kousuke thinks that its him who is in the shadow cast by Nol, that he cannot let Nol shine, lest it drown out his own light. I think that really sums up the root of their relationship and their issues: Nol didn't so much want to shine as much as just share that spot with Kousuke. I think at some point he gave up trying to earn Rand's favor and instead sought out Kousuke who was in the same boat as him. But Kousuke thinks only one of them can be in the light and if it's not him, that means it's Nol - Nol who is so undeserving who hasn't put in the same effort as him. Isn't that funny? Kousuke literally was born into privilege, knows he is afforded things most others never will be, knows that he has things others could work for their whole lives and never possess. But he thinks it's Nol who has earned something without making any effort. The irony of it, man.

Don't feel bad about how much you wrote hehehe! I.... also cannot hold back when it comes to anything ILY so I'm delighted to receive equally long messages haha! Looking forward to more fun conversation with you, Lil Anon! And thank you for the well wishes! I'm going to try to make myself do more painting today! Fingers crossed (I am not doing the best job at taking care of myself this week lol I'm hoping some painting will help!)