#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy
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I've lived in many places, moved many times, had to start over friendships again and again. Some people keep calling and you want to keep calling them; some people turn out to be only friends of proximity, and once you're no longer around each other, the friendship cools.
I have childhood friends that still live in that city and we are friends because once in three years i show up on their doorstep and say hey there im alive, and they say lets go out one of those days, and then i leave and we will see each other in a few years once again. I don't have their number and I don't want their number, because we dont have anything in common anymore, but we have been friends for decades because that's what we were when we last played together and it is enough to see them healthy and happy even if i dont know the particulars.
I had a friendship that lived on 6 month old message replies, and it was important and meaninful and i very much didnt care all that much about the time it took to answer, because if i said "im coming over next week" id have a spam of gushing and plans making and lets go there and there and do this and that and youre staying for how long and stay a few days at my house. And we would talk about everything and update each other on our lives and sometimes not talk at all, but just being around and realising that yes, we like each other still! was great. It is very strange to be making plans to visit and knowing they're not there anymore, they're not here anymore, but the urge to message is still strong, the friendship is still there, even thought they aren't.
I have a frienship that survived end of school, end of college, moving cities and states and a decade without seeing each other. And i asked for a place to stay and they said you can stay as long as you need. Live with me.
I have a friendship that started at work, and they said they feel inferior because oh you know so much about so many things, and i said you know just as much as i do, everytime you and our common friends talk, i know zero references, i dont know the people, the shows, the meaning, the implication, so who knows more than the other here? and i asked to be invited to their wedding and they started giggling. we have nothing in common besides our profession, and i wish to hold this person forever.
I've had friendships that i thought would survive distance but frizzled out. That i thought were meaningful, but were for (their) convenience. That i thought were real, but where only of proximity.
Maybe it's from the experience of having started over and over and over, but letting go of those that give you nothing but the taste of pain isn't the end of the world. The loneliness, the feeling of being unmoored and what do i do with my time that was theirs before fades away, and you find something else to occupy yourself with, you meet new people. Maybe you stay as acquaintances for years until you or they reach out. It does need courage, it does need work, but it is so very much worth it.
Also re: the fact it’s normal to have a period of time where you have no friends: sometimes this means no “real” friends aka still have people you know from work, school, family, neighbors, acquaintances, etc etc you interact with but are not close with and couldn’t go to for anything on any deeper level. But sometimes it actually does mean no friends. No social interaction, nobody to call, no other option, don’t talk to anyone for days, don’t know who would find out if you died. The thing is there really is coming back from both of those situations ofc it takes a good deal of work and can feel like pulling teeth to put yourself out there but god it pays off. You can always start over from scratch, and it’s true most people are just as lonely as you are
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tged webtoon ep 174 spoilers and thoughts that i'm actually kinda happy about but there's just a little bit more that i wish we got to see this ep but possibly maybe itll show up later,,, maybe,,, i hope,,, and more below the cut
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BEFORE WE BEGIN. WOW. HI ALICIA. WOW!!! WOW!!! SIRENS!!! HOLY BINGLE! GOOD MORNING YUOR HIGHNESS UR GORGEOUS. HELLO!!! WOW. YES. ANYTHING YOU SAY MA'AM. YES MY QUEEN OF COURSE ANYTHING YOU SAY
SHE'S GOT ABS AND MUSCLE SHE'S TONED AND HER LEGS R STRONG AND WOW. WOW GOOD MORNING HI. YES. THANK YOU KHS THANK YOU IM,,, WOW,,, I LOVE STRONG WOMEN,,, BEAUTIFUL!!!
ok back to the ep LMFAOO
it seems i kiiinda misunderstood what was happening last ep, everyone relevant to the railroad construction is in the time bubble it's just that javier isn't going up to the mountains with lloyd,,, i see!!!
"i wanna go to him and make sure he's safe" ooogh,,, oh javier,,, u love him sm,,,, ooohhhh
tbh at first i was like, a lil confused that javier didn't go up to check on lloyd esp since javier is so willing to do anything to protect lloyd. its clear too that he knows abt lloyd's heart freezing,,, though i suppose at the same time, javier trusts lloyd's word so much that when the noble says he'll be fine, javier accepts it as he always has,,, either way his desire to run to protect lloyd and his willingness to trust that lloyd will be okay are both very sweet,,, the mutual trust always makes me so happy,,,,,,, ohhh javier ilysm,,,,,,
i am glad then that alicia went up to go check on him and that javier is reassured by this!!! look at his smile ooohhh hehehee
i think choosing to have javier trust his queen instead of sowing conflict btwn the two is rlly nice, tho mostly bc i am biased bc i tend to prefer sweet reliability over infighting,,, he trusts her to take care of lloyd the way javier would take care of lloyd,,, (is this alillovier propaganda? perchance,,, /lh)
it makes so much sense that they'd be on the same wavelength n get along,,, two peas in a pod,,, powerful and clever and oh so loyal to the person that they've come to admire, respect, and love,,, the person that's saved them time and time again,,, heehee,,, truly the besties of all time!!! red and blue!!! i love it a lot!!!
and now for lloyd,,, hehe
i need it to be known that the moment i saw this panel, lloyd wearing alicia's sweater, i yelled and kicked and nearly cried. very loudly. what the hell. THATS SO?? THATS SO. IDEK
still forever thinking abt how javier is always the first one to his mind they truly r the duo ever,,, regardless of whether theyre platonic or romantic they're literally each other's number ones and the first ones they turn to im so. thats so. ghhh my heart,,, (ALSO HI ALICIA)
his stupid face,,, HIS PANELS THIS EP WERE SO SO FUNNY AND SO SO CUTE,,, i love u,,, HE JUST LOOKS SO SHOCKED AAAAHHH SO CUTE,,, wide-eyed and dumbfounded . lloyd i love u
the gags this ep were fucking amazing too HAHA i didnt add it above but the bit where alicia was like "lol next ur gonna tell me he's the demon king" and then just turns and oh hi theres demons LMFAOOO THAT WAS GOOD
AND THESE TOO SO SO SILLY i love when they're silly like this,,, goofy ass inchworm,,, its not helping u beat the bug allegations buddy,,, ily
LIKE THIS FUCKING GRABBING BIT I CACKLED SO FUCKING LOUD HAHAHAHAHAA AND LLOYD ROLLING AWAY GOD THEYRE SO FUNNY I LOVE THEM
and then she shared her mana w him,,, the little smile she gives and LLOYD BLUSHING BACK IM SO. THATS SO CUTE. HE LOOKS SO CUTE. THIS IS SO SWEET,,, AHHH,,, AAAHHHH CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE
though smth to note here, i am quite confused as to why javier's mana is suddenly rejected when he tries to absorb it? but alicia's works just fine? and javier has shared mana with lloyd before, my mutual reminded me of the namaran wall arc where siluria and javier both help lloyd with absorbing the hell knight,,, however the fact that javier's mana components have yet to break the law of causality during this arc, aka he wasnt a grandmaster yet. maybe bc of his status as a grandmaster now, where he has the same otherworldy mana lloyd does, that makes it not possible to properly absorb the mana?
alternatively, javier technically is never fated to die/be transformed in the original story, whereas lloyd should be dead and alicia should be tainted with dark magic, so bc the two of them have warped their fates at the moment, it works? and javier's doesnt bc he's technically not? idk if that makes any sense,,, i was told by my mutual that javier has shared mana with lloyd a lot in the novel before, so i'm not sure why they made this change! i hope they expand on it a lil in the future,,,
also, while i'm yapping here, i like that alicia is straightforward abt what she likes abt lloyd, but i wish they got to have a longer conversation than this,,, like this is a good start but it didn't really go anywhere (besides some really wonderful panels of lloyd but i mean like, narrative-wise lol)
as i mentioned in my last liveblog, alicia and suho share a lot more common experiences than they probably realize! and i think if they got a chance to talk about that, talking about their past circumstances, how they became who they are now, and just more in general on what led alicia to fall for lloyd besides what he's capable of,,, this ship would actually sail pretty well, yknow?
unfortunately though with the pacing of the manhwa and i guess just their episode length requirements in general, it makes sense that they couldn't get to that,,, i just wish it happened,,, maybe in snippets in future episodes? but seeing as we're getting pretty close to the end afaik, the chances are slim
i mainly love llovier but i also really love alilloyd, and i think alilloyd as a whole would have a much better leg to stand on if they actually talked about their experiences and had more instances of saving each other, of supporting each other, the way javier does with lloyd. it's too few and too far between for alicia and lloyd, so it feels like it's flatter than what it could be, y'know?
a part of me hopes that they did get to do that in the novel, but from what i recall hearing, alilloyd didn't have a strong leg in the novel either,,, i distantly recall someone telling me that the manhwa is actually doing alilloyd stronger justice than the novel did (i may be misremembering tho so don't quote me on that lol), and seeing as the manhwa's interpretation of alilloyd is so few and far between as is,,,, it makes me worried that the novel never actually got to touch upon how their relationship evolves (if im wrong, please correct me!!!)
i just want them to do well,,, they're super cute,,, please,,, ueueueue
anyway,,, this leads us to probably my FAVORITE panel of this week,,, this one of lloyd completely flushed EEE EHEHEHHEHEHEHHEE
SO SO SO SO CUTE. I YELPED WHEN I SAW THIS,,, I LOVE THAT ALICIA FALLS FIRST AND THEN LLOYD FALLS SO MUCH HARDER THAT'S FUCKING ADORABLE. methinks it's like that with javier too. lloyd falling and tripping up over realizing someone has romantic affection for him is probably one of my favorite things EVER. that's adorable. I LOVE HIM AAAHHH CUTE CUTE CUTE
one last thing to mention is just that,,, it seems like theres a mage messing w the weather conditions up in the mountains and i aaaam a lil worried that itll kickstart fate for alicia,,,, esp considering we,,, havent seen worthroad in a while. whatever that guys name was,,, what if its him and he's gonna fuck everything up!?? im really worried for them,,, please be okay,,,
and that's all for this week! i really REALLY enjoyed this episode,,, the panels and art were so so good, and while there were some things i wished would happen i think it was still really good overall, it gave me a lot to talk about! the gags were balanced and their interactions were so fun,,, yay!
i'll see yall next time,,, im so excited to see whats next,,,!!!!!
#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#tged lloyd#lynn misc#lynn yaps#alicia magentano#tged javier#tged alicia#javier asrahan#i normally would have posted this over the weekend but i was actually at a CON!!! YAYYY#i cosplayed lloyd! though admittedly the coat color is way lighter than it should be... ill be fixing it for the next con :3#i wont be posting the photos on my socmeds (dont feel like it + considering how scary ai is getting esp w deepfakes... no thanks)#but if ur a mutual / if ur on the discord u can find them :3#no tged merch at the cons yet. however my new years goal is to yap abt tged so much that it gets popular enough for cons.#is this a difficult task? yes! but i believe in me... i believe in us#step 1: yap. step 2: ???. step 3: PROFIT!!! or well not profit. bc id be spending money. U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THO#theres a lot more i wanna yap abt but i think ill save it for a diff post dedicated to the topic... the topic is javier hehe#anyway sorry i keep doing this where i just chat abt other stuff in the tags. its fun for me to write tho so i hope someone is entertained
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Reading the Iliad, Book 9 thoughts
This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me
Im reading the Robert Fagles translation
Here's the thing with Achilles. It is not enough for him to know he's the best, everyone else has to know it too, BUT even that's not enough. They cannot ever forget it AND they have to worship him for it. AND that's his fucking problem Achilles is SICK okay????😭
Like wtf
LITERALLY, no one is still upset abt what happened between Achilles and Agamemnon except Achilles.
Anyway Agamemnon summons all the important ppl on the Greek side, (Nestor, Odysseus, ppl like that)
Once they all get there Agamemnon starts bawling his little Greek eyes out bc shit is looking bleak
So Agamemnon says "fuck it, let's go home NOW."
Diomedes is like "Look man you've been kinda pissy at me buuuut ur a good leader or whatever so I think there's still a chance for the odds to be in our favor, but go home ig bc me and my men are staying until Troy falls."
Diomedes how does it feel to be Homer's fav??
Nestor decides they just need to make it through the night bc the Trojans are so close to their camp that they're neighbors atp
Nestor sits Agamemnon down and goes "What you did to Achilles was actually not cool and we really need him rn so you need to make things right."
AND AGAMEMNON actually agrees????? I still don't like him but this was super mature of him. It seems like despite his temper even he knows when he's in the wrong, unlike some other people.
Agamemnon lists off A BUNCH of shit that he's going to give Achilles. I started smiling bc the list just kept going.
He offers his own daughter for marriage, 7 women from lesbos, 20 Trojan women, and all the treasure his ships could carry. (there's more but this is the more important.)
Plus Berseis
Agamemnon says he'll swear an oath that he never slept with Berseis too.
Achilles gets all of this if he stops being angry and fights
So Ody, Ajax(Greater), Phoenix, and two heralds go to speak with Achilles
Achilles and Patroclus are just chilling as Achilles plays his stupid ass lyre
Patroclus mentioned♥️♥️♥️
When they see the group approaching, Achilles stands up and says "Omg I really missed up guys lol."
Like bro....
PEOPLE ARE DYING???
Achilles and Patroclus play host for the group and they all eat.
Achille is really happy to see his friends
So Odysseus starts trying to convince Achilles to re-join the fight
Achilles starts ranting abt how he's done everything but Agamemnon keeps the lions share of what they bring back
Then he goes on to talk abt how he loves Berseis only for her to be snatched away
Basically, he says no and then Achilles says "I will leave at first light."
KNOWING DAMN WELL HE'S NOT GONNA LEAVE. STOP LYING
Achilles is so weird to me. You're not going to accept the gifts, you're not going to leave, but you're going to fight either??? WHAT DO YOU WANT THEN???? He's sulking like a child
Then Achilles says "I don't want his shitty gifts and even if his daughters rivaled Aphrodite in looks I still wouldn't want them, and he can keep Berseis."
...........hello???
Phoenix starts trauma dumping but he tells Achilles that he's being disrespectful.
I think Phoenix tells the story (you know the one) of Meleager and Cleopatra. and Achilles is like "okay be quiet."
The group goes to leave, and Ody says that it's silly Achilles is doing this all over one woman.
But at this point it's not abt Berseis anymore and I don't think it ever was.
Achilles tells them that he won't fight until Hector gets so close that he's up their asses
I love finding out why Achilles is an asshole
#achilles only good trait is patroclus#reading the iliad#achilles#patroclus#the iliad#agamemnon#odysseus
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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pre-transmigration cumplanes because they are the most divorced guys who never met
#svsss#scum villains self saving system#cumplane#cucumberplane#shen yuan#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#pippart#these guys are so funny. i love sy's one sided parasocial hate relationship with sqh#i think sqh should start writing after transmigration again#and that sy should independently find his shitty writing and scathingly critique it anonymously#i need them to complain to each other about each other without realizing it's the other they're talking about#i think that's what sqq should be doing during the three years binghe got eebie deebied#when sqq dies and sqh stops getting correspondence from his new number 1 hater he's like#“oh boy im so happy i finally wrote something that guy likes. or maybe mbj killed him now that im complaining to him and not sqq about him”#and then sqq revives five years later and the second he has a chance he immediately starts catching up on five years of hate writing
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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Ride 800: Blue sky of joy
Pag 1
1: A climb's outcome is always
2: decided at a place that's close to the sky
4: You bet everything on it, and when the wheels cross the finish line
5: The winner....
Pag 2 / 3
1: raises their hands to the sky and rejoices
A blessing for Manami, the wide sky is Hakogaku's blue!!)
Pag 4
1: The first day's mountain prize goes to Hakone Academy's number 13, Manami Sangaku!!
3: He clearly raises both his arms up to the sky!! For the third year in a row the mountain prize goes to Hakone Academy!!
The sky... is so blue!!
Pag 5
1: I feel alive!!
2: Hakogaku...!!
Kanagawaaa!!
The kings!!
3: Manami took it!!
He beat Mountain King!!
Pag 6
2: Amaziing!!
3: Manami-saaan!!
You're so cool!!
Hakogaku is so strong!!
4: The strongest!!
Manami-saaan!!
6: Waaaaaa
7: Amazing, what a nice scenery
We really climbed to such a nice place
I don't know why, it's strange...
Pag 7
1: but everything looks brilliant
Pag 8
2: The vividness of the greens
The vitality of plants
3: The birds' chirping
The buzzing of insects
Pag 9
1: I can feel the life of every living being
2: Manami-saan!!
You were so cool just now!
It was so exciting!
Manami-kuun!
I took a video!
3: The scenery looks brilliant, doesn't it, Manami
4: In road racing, “victory”
5: is something that's so important it changes the way your body feels
Pag 10
1: Not to mention that it's against the opponent against who he lost for two years in a row
2: The delight makes your cells vibrate all throughout your body
Here's a bottle!
Ah, thanks
4: Manami, that... you managed to get so far while going through so much suffering, you worked so hard and endured
(I threw it away
But I didn't answer)
5: This is
Pag 11
1: a “rewarded joy” for all of that
2: Manami
Hakogakuu!!
Manami-kuun!!
Pag 12
1: Congratulations
Pag 14
1: Thank you for fighting with all your strength
3: After the mountain line there's still the finish line
Keeping your energies for the team is part of the strategy
4: But you used all your strength until your limit to fight against me
5: So, I'm thankful
Pag 15
1: Ah... yeah, but... I couldn't... win...
Even though everyone worked hard to push my back...
2: You're amazing, Manami-kun
You're even stronger than that time on Minegayama
3: Well... at the time I was still at around 75%, I was still in the middle of it
Yet I could still get a lead on you
5: Honestly, this time, when there were around 100m left I thought I couldn't win
But
6: I didn't know until the very last moment
7: You got stronger too!!
Pag 16
1: No no no no
That's not true at all, not true at all
Woah....
2: I just followed, I just did the best I could
3: Aren't you self aware?
That means
4: I just practiced very hard...
That those two control the practices
Their base power has grown
5: Mo- more importantly, huh... I'm sorry!!
Pag 17
1: Huh.... right before the finish line... uhm... I...
Actually...
3: In my mind I referred to you as “Sangaku” without any honorifics!!
4: In....
6: In your heart?
Without honorifics?
Pag 18
1: Hahahaha
2: Hahaha
Huh!? What kind of reaction is this!? Huh!?
3: I'm- I'm sorry
I just... I was really excited at the end!!
4: It's fine
6: I'm actually glad you referred to me without honorifics, it's like... we got so much closer
No, but... I... huh
I don't dislike it...
7: But I guess adding the “kun” really feels like the most natural thing...
Ugh....
8: Besides
Pag 19
1: While you're shouting inside your heart you don't have to add it
3: And at the end, I too, inside my heart
4: I called you “Sakamichi”
6: That, that makes me happy
Right!
7: Ah... now finally...
8: Uhm.....
Pag 20
1: We fulfilled our promise... thank you
Yeah....!!
2: We haven't reached the finish line yet, so we can't rest (haha)
This... this time, since we raced for the mountain stage we still have to keep running even if our race is over
Looks like there's still a little more to go
Ugh...
Pag 21
1: Buaah, yeah!!
It's Hakogaku's victory!!
2: You're too loud!! San-na!!
It's Hakogaku's victory, buah!!
How many times are you gonna say it...!!
3: I'll say it over and over again!! Manami is stronger than Onoda!!
Ugh...!! Onoda-san..!!
4: Humph
Pag 22
1: Amazing, amazing, he's really so cool!!
Uh... he's cool, I guess...
(Tobirama-kun is acting cool)
2: He did it
3: Yeah, and thanks to him
4: The team's morale is rising!!
6: This is bad... Hakogaku-san's power is increasing
What do we do, Hotshot
Pag 23
1: Don't worry, even if they raise their power, let them do it
5: Or, Naruko, are you worried that their morale is rising?
7: Worried? What is “worry”, some sort of rock?
8: That's right. Us third years, me, you, and Onoda have already increased our base power with a program
Pag 24
1: that was sure to make us stronger!!
3: Kakaka!!
4: Huh... what's that... “base power”!?
Pag 25
1: Does that mean they're getting stronger?!
2: Those two's pressure is suddenly rising!!
Pag 26
2: Imaizumi and Naruko's....!!
3: They're getting stronger... than last year
Is this connected to that time at the beginning of spring...
4: when the third years didn't come to practice for a week?
Pag 27
1: Hakogaku's morale is rising? That's just what I was looking forward
Yeah!! I can't help but feel excited!!
2: The “finish line” is waiting!!
#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 800#WE'RE AT 800 CHAPTEEEEERS#do you guys think we'll reach 1000 chapters? i believe so#anyway!!#manami and onoda become more and more canon with every passing chapter asdgfsakdgfa#like what in the shonen ai manga was this!!#you know how in romance stories there's that point when the main characters start calling eo by their first names#and theyre all embarrassed because of it#and it's very sweet and intimate#yes this is literally it#'i feel like we've gotten closer'#'i don't dislike it'#'it makes me happy'#PLEASE CONFESS ALREADY WHAT THE HELL#I love it i love them i need to write a fic about this#anyway leaving aside sansaka for a moment#im so curious about this mysterious training program the third years went through???#also tobirama is as adorable as always what an idiot i love him#kabu and bashi's relationship is the best thing ever they're besties your honor#enemies to besties#also im so happy to see roku-chan again i missed him so muuuch#cant wait to see him doing things :')
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"Spread across the comforter are their film strips from the photo corner at the dance... A full size picture of the four of them signing their team letter to the camera with huge smiles on their faces."
On the Run from Tomorrow, ch. 17
Last chap's up. I am getting so horribly emotional trying to write a note here, so just...
JNPR 💛🧡❤️💚 Forever
#rwby#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#team jnpr#rwby fanart#nora is on an apple crate and pyrrha and jaune are crouching by the way; ren's just standing#so i started drawing the whole shrine but i could simply not finish it; i realized i did need to draw this and while it is bitter sweet#it did not hit me as emotionally badly as the shrine did so i decided to make this the end illustration for now#i think i will finish the shrine later this year maybe#i was able to work on this for a few hours before getting too sad unlike the shrine#they are so happy. i drew their expressions on a separate layer so i could turn them off when i got too sad#they were so happy together. they mean everything to me. they don't deserve any of the bad things that have ever happened to them#this moment though. frozen in time. on top of the world. nothing bad has ever happened ever and they're happy#gods. they're happy. just for a moment in time.#fuck im crying again.#anyway enjoy im gonna go sob in a fucking corner#poa! jnpr#kina draws
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WAOT WERE U THE ONE TSUKASA COSPLAYER AT MIKUEXPO GIVING OUT MIKU STICKERS TO THE PJSK FANS
THATS ME!!!!! i didn't mean to just give them to pjsk fans help but i severely underestimated how many i should've made and cut out .. so i just ended up giving them to cosplayers or people who said hi to me .... T_T
THERE'S ALSO THIS SUPER CUTE BRACELET SOMEBODY RAN UP TO ME AND GAVE ME AND I TREASURE IT SO I NEED TO ADD IT TO THE POST AND SHOW IT OFF .. WAH!!!! ITS SO CUTE LOOK!!!!!!
#again WAS NOT MY BIRTHDAY. MIKUEXPO TORONTO FELL ON TSUKASAS BIRTHDAY IN JAPAN TIME. SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.#i love your icon cause i saw a garf miku cosplayer at mikuexpo toronto too IT WAS SO AWESOME#i saw snother tsukasa cosplayer in hid school outfit and they had cute star glasses i Need some.#in the future n for cons i think i'll just order stickers to hand out .. cutting them out by hand was so much .....#especially when i did the whole pjsk cast. 10 or so of each of them. my best friend helped and it still took like 2 hours#<- I DID THAT FOR ANIME NORTH I MEAN i think i forgot to post about it here. anyways#i dont plan on tabling at cons or snything cause i just like attending them so much. but#In the future i think i'll just pay to get Nice little prints or stickers made and shipped to me to hand out ...#Sorry they arent actual stickers they're just laminated with tape i did them the night before while crunching for the con the week after.#alliellama#ask#sorry to go on but mikuexpo really was such a good time#when we first got there i was in the merch line w my friends and skmeone came up and said can you do the tsukasa laugh right here right now#but everything we said echo and i was like T_T no im shy ...#and then 2 hours later i heard there was a saki cosplayer there and started running around the venue shouting SAKI. SAKIII. SAKI.#WE FOUND HER IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS which is impressive because there were a lot of people. by god.#it was so fun. we had such a good time i could go on. everyone was so FREAKING NICE. AND GAVE SO MANY FREEBIES. AND COMPLIMENTS.#but i literally only had like ..30 mikus. to hand out. i felt SO BAD. CONSERVING THEM.
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HAPPY PRIDE MONT TO THEM!! 🎉🎊💐💖😜😍
#ronance#pride month#HAPPY PRIDE MONTH#for them its happy Bride month😂 yk cuz like they need to get married hahahs#wake up its da first of da month#how do i start explaining how much they mean to me??#i wont explain you can litreally just check out my blog ive been ronancing for almost a year#these girls were life changing#10/10 im sticking to them even when season 5 comes out#they may not be canon but they're still very real...
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does roommate julia know what she said has reached 105,235 notes
i updated them this morning when it was approaching 100k and posted their response! they go by jay now and are pleased to see people are still enjoying our roommate shenanigans from three years ago. we've both graduated and moved away and are doing Adult Things -- they have a 9-to-5 and I'm in grad school -- but we look back on those days with a lot of fondness bc we were so fortunate to have such a good roommate situation! I miss them to bits
however a caveat to jay's response is that my sibling (who sees jay more frequently than i do at this point) saw the update and said "mellow is not a word id use to describe jay" so. do with that what you will lol
#asks#anonymous#i think they might be more mellow in that they're not quite as feral as they were when that post was made#but they're still rather intense lol#but yeah i miss living with them!#im happy to have my own room now#but i miss being able to like. just flop on top of my roommates when i needed affection#or chirping weird noises at each other instead of talking#we definitely had our ups and downs#jay gave me covid and i seriously wanted to kill them for it#but overall it was a really good experience living together with them and our other two roommates#gonna call them friday to catch up <3 it's been a while
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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You know, children of Hades/Pluto and Thanatos/Mors with a propensity to develop SZPD or AVPD would also work. Their fathers are entwined with death, the dead, which makes connecting to the living hard for them.
It could be partly because of rejection when their parentage is discovered by demigods, possible unease mortals may feel around them due to their aura or whatever, and then partly because of their own innate nature, meaning even in the friendliest of circumstances they struggle to connect with the other person.
#in my headcanons bianca is the one with an innate detachment from living people outside of her immediate family#however i don't think she'd develop szpd if she had lived. she can make connections and friends easily. it's just not instinctive to do so#and she wouldn't fully meet the criteria needed to qualify. it would just be the personality type 👍#happy talks pjo#but if i was assigning them pds (which im not) I'd put Bianca at SZPD Nico with AVPD and Hazel with both#nico was rejected due to be a child of hades so there's that#as for Hazel i think it would be a combination of many things - her abusive upbringing making her recoil into herself#the racism and explition alienation due to the curse from the people around that she had to deal with#followed by isolation and an overbearing morher when she moved to alaska#then when she's brought back to life she struggles with derealization which causes a disconnect from the people around her#and she can't really socialize or talk about her life because 1) she was dead for 70 odd years 2) she's cursed but no one knows#and 3) her life sucked#so i think she'd have the fear of rejection from others for avpd as well as the disconnect/detachment from people for szpd#again I'm not headcanoning any of them with the above. I'm just playing around with where they would fall#for the most part what we see of the underworld kids is that they are relatively more adjusted than other demigods despite their traumas#it could be dissociation repression that their father is more present with them so they have resources available to seek help#or it could be that a general disconnect with their own life because as child of the dead they will never be fully grounded while alive#so all the pains really hit them once they die but while they're alive it's just oh well terrible things happen to me but its whatever
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me and a beloved mewtual going LITERALLY and EXACTLYY to each other as we reaffirm a core part of the story being wwx's overall journey in his social dynamics to stability and security as he goes, not without tragedy and loss, but from a contentious and unsupportive main relationship in a hostile social setting that degenerates quickly into dysfunction and instability and violence to end up with a supportive and healthy and happy life partnership with someone whose main life goals involve taking care of him
#like YES wwx lost so much and he was truly happy in some aspects of LP and it was so unfair what he lost#but starting the story being so close to jc and then ending it being so close to lej was unquestionably a net benefit for him#and im someone who does support reconciliation but it's a happy ending that wwx is with someone#who can and will prioritize him and care for him and support him and prove himself trustworthy and a moral equal#in the way that wwx needs#not that it doesn't hurt. it probably hurts jc more tho#and um how do I say this. I don't rly care? after all he's done to wwx he doesn't even have the right to be in the same room as him#let alone demand shit from him. any reconciliation HAS to come with sincere and heartfelt apology#and if wwx rides off into the sunset w lwj and jc is left alone and miserable well. that's tragic but that's also due to his own actions#like dude you treated him like that what did you expect...#like at the end of the day. actions have consequences and shit#'well he didn't know about xyz' the shit he was doing to wwx both before and after he lost his gc was insane sorry#jc acts on emotion amd doesn't stop to think he might not have all the info...#also like. I get him being angry abt jyl even a decade abd a half after the fact#but attacking someone ill and unarmed multiple times as they're trying to flee#and intentionally using their phobia to terrorize them. is just deeply cruel and malicious and ignoble. he's a shitty person#idk how much he cries. 40 year old minor....#like personally I don't consider him abusove as a brother but he's clearly ready and willing to abuse his power as a sect leader#when he gets mad enough#but yeah sect leader and uncle and brother of the year 🙄#cql txp
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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Your post about South Park really does hit the nail right on the head for why the hell this show has a fandom that I've never seen anyone acknowledge, at least not on this fucking webbed site. Instead mosts stance is along the lines of "why are you shipping the racist children" which ignores. That they have INCREDIBLY strong characterization, to the point that even side characters personalities are able to be pinpointed with a lot of accuracy, enough for there to be subsets of fans for those guys even. The show is primarily about putting those fucking circle guys in situations and people who like to see them in situations are like. Man. I could totally come up with some situation for these guys to be in. And they don't even have to be weird and centrist about it like the creators. (Not to say plenty of fans don't still land there. If Cartman is included you really have to decide whether you declaw him and either answer gets dicey unless you get him. And some people really don't and it gets. Bad.) It feels a lot more generous seeing someone actually clock the appeal of the show for what it is rather than stopping at Matt and Treys wild ride of very very mixed messages and leaving it at that so thanks
no like literally i only started watching the show as a background noise type of deal after i finished family guy (in my "watching every adult cartoon" type of beat) and then just got. enthralled.
like i genuinely would not recommend the show to anyone who doesn't have the stomach for gross out humor, frustrating political takes, and even satire that often actually is progressive and even straight up anti-discrimination at times but can be packaged distastefully -- especially since i feel like the show can only be truly enjoyed if you watch the entire 26+ seasons and movies and play the games.
but like matt and trey are unfortunately VERY good writers so i totally understand why the show has a legit, functioning fandom with popular headcanons (shoutout to marjorine) and AUs. like oftentimes the fans are also just Putting The Circle Children Into Situations. or they're playing around with the Situations the Circle Children were already put into in the show, like expanding on tweek and craig's canonical relationship via fanart or exploring kenny's canonical trauma of being repeatedly killed and reincarnated as himself.
but yeah happy to provide my input on this when asked! glad you liked my take
#ok so i apparently lied i am posting about this topic once more#but its not gonna be a regular thing#if anyone does need a trigger tag then let me know im happy to tag it#also just as a disclaimer but the claim of the characters being 'racist children' is actually incorrect -- more often than not the kids are#actually pretty progressive and have episodes about them learning to be less shitty#it's legit just cartman doing shit and he does get called out on it a lot#and if the other kids DO engage in cartman's bullshit it's usually from a place of ignorance and them genuinely not know something is wrong#which is somewhat of a cop out claim since they're fictional characters and are controlled by matt and trey#but the point is that they're not intentionally written to be bigots so when people find the show appealing. it's not bc of bigotry.
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