#navigating the internet like

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[r0semultiverse]

Small indie artists in need of support for moving out by September!

💜 These lovely folks [@QuinsCurse (they/them) & @sswitchblade03 (xe/xem and he/him)] are part of a small queer-owned Youtube community I'm in. 💖

💖 If you could lend a helping hand by reblogging & queueing this post up until the start of September, I'd greatly appreciate it & I'm sure these fine folks would too! 💜

⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️

"Hi everyone! Requests are officially closed as I am opening emergency commissions! Please consider supporting me as we are getting kicked out and have managed to find a place that’s affordable but need to save up 5k by the end of the month! Anything helps! I also have a dontations page if you are willing to help do that! All the money received from commissions will be going to the deposit! https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/commissions https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/goal?g=32"

⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️

"https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/commissions https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/goal?g=0 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! My roommate ‪@QuinsCurse‬and I are needing about $5000CAD for a down payment on a new place as we need to be out of our current place by September! Every bit counts! My goal is to be set to $3000CAD. I will draw anything (coloured and rendered) for $5 CAD each! If you are willing to give more it will be appreciated. Examples of my work below!"

⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️

[8um8le]

My lack of skill in following instructions and navigating the internet saved me from getting scammed 😂😭yeyyyayy

My grandpa ass and stupidity is a double edged sword 👍

It was one of those discord scam things where a friend u havent talked to in forever, randomly asks u to contact some guy cuz apparently they wrongfully reported you or whatever, and the guy u contact tries to get u to change ur email, but I didnt get to the changing email part cuz I couldn’t figure out how ☠️

Careful out there u guys <33

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, the craziest part of accessibility is that there aren't many abled people (and disabled people who aren't disabled in Every Way Possible) who wouldn't benefit from any of the accessibility options out there

ALT text has made it so much better to navigate image-based pages! I'm not visually-impared, but tumblr is terrible at loading images, and I'm not always connected to WiFi. People who add ALT text make it easy to satiate my curiosity when images don't load! This, coupled with actually learning how blind and visually-impared people navigate the online world, has inspired me to do my best to emulate the things I find helpful, even if the way it helps me is very different than theirs. Having a sense of scale in how it helps me versus how it actually makes the internet usable to the blind and visually-impared is something I do try to keep in mind.

Navigating a world with accessible options is primarily going to help the disabled, and it's imperative to keep this in mind. I do think, though, that illustrating just how much accessibility impacts even abled people's lives can help inspire people to think, "wow, I can't imagine a world without [accessibility option] and I don't need it, but it makes life so much easier." The more I interact with accessibility options I don't need, I still find it so helpful. I can't even imagine how amazing it is when you do need that accessibility and it's actually provided to you.

I don't think that abled people should only be in it for themselves. Again, accessibility should put disabled needs first and foremost. But I can't help but wonder how many people you can get to understand this by first saying how it impacts them, too.

[cedarspiced]

i will be honest. if you water down the whole concept of the terms TMA vs TME as 'penis havers vs vagina havers' all it shows is that you fundamentally misunderstand each of these terms.

[rimouskis]

can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?

[thresholdbb]

11:59 had me talking to the youths about the 90s/early 2000s

[northern-passage]

one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.

for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.

it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.

and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.

[mx-myth]

Personally as an aroace being in a queerplatonic relationship and/or a poly relationship sound really freeing to me. I feel like in a QPR there would be less pressure to be more amatonormative or present that way. The kind of "omg I totally thought you guys were dating" sort of relationship that just comes from the pure intimacy of willing to be comfortable around each other and to be intimate without necessarily having to involve kissing/sex/"real" intimacy (and the possible aro or ace solidarity). Meanwhile in a poly relationship I feel like at least for me there would be less pressure be "involved" to an extent. A whole other person (or people) would negate a lot of anxiety on my part enough not being enough (especially if one or more of them are alloromantic). And potentially that's someone who can provide romance or sex that I just can't.

Obviously these are still relationships that you consciously need to put work into maintain and have open lines of communication and discussions of boundaries, etcetera, just like any "normal" relationship but that's really the point here. I'm not allo (and I'm perfectly fine with being "abnormal" by most societal standards, but that's obviously not true for all of us) in any way, shape, or form, so why should I have to fit myself into a little allo box?

[zharizard666]

howdy

[jrueships]

what the fuck does there's only 1 gg mean 😭

[tallestgrace]

I was talking with a friend about creepy people I’ve come across and how I’ve been able to ‘scare’ them away by doing some quick digging and finding real life information about them.

And honestly, why aren’t we teaching more young people how to do this???? Like seriously, a lot of kids/teens who are targeted online have no way to make these people leave them alone (aside from blocking, but still, I’ve seen people make many, many accounts to go after the same person). If we teach kids basic ‘hacking’ skills, they could easily find out who these people are, where they work, and where they live, which would help SO MUCH!!!

From experience, if you start ranting off personal information to these guys as well as threatening to tell their local law enforcement/families, they will back off, because they don’t want to be found out as the disgusting people that they are.

That’s just me ranting though 🤷‍♀️

[reliccipher]

just ended up sending in feedback about the layout to support. But I have to say it here too, this new layout is such a pain in the ass to figure out. I hated twitter's layout for the same reason, its so annoying to use and everything feels so cluttered and squished in and distracting... it's actually headache inducing.

I really wish I had the option to switch back. I wish there was an option to CHOOSE between the two layouts. I wish I had the choice to opt out of "testing" this thing.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" really should have been brought up before they even tried making this. It was fine before, and now the new layout is completely different and frustrating when it didn't need to be.

If I wanted Twitter's layout, I would have just fucking gone to Twitter.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

i'm polish and i don't really know much about traditional polish clothes or legends or anything so it's really fun kind of uncovering a part of my heritage by watching you draw gay little ghosts, so dziękuję

Well im happy to hear that! Polish folk clothes, even if not my personal favourite in europe (sorry) are really fun to draw and look at... Im not exactly sure when it turned into a proper interest but im always happy to share information and pictures... its kind of why i started adding reference photos to my posts

I dont really know much about legends and other myths myself; im actually really bad at remembering stories like that, and while i find them interesting in concept i never really got to go in depth on them... so im assuming you mean customs? In which case im happy to tell you im planning a little something on this years first year of spring... If my mind allows me. Id be really sad to pass a one-year opportunity like that. Hopefully i wont

Pozdrawiam :)

[pynkhues]

Have you seen the haunted plantation tour trainwreck on Twitter? The people involved run in the same circles as the kinktober mods, just to add context re. the anons that warned you about the fest a while back. If you haven’t seen, this thread gives a good overview of what went down:

https://x.com/loust4t/status/1851607062985183466?s=46&t=wEEyhyX9fIplMoT3Zo_5Tg

I hadn't seen that before you sent it to me, anon, no - I'm not on Twitter at all beyond what people send me asks about - and it's certainly pretty blatantly racist and lacking in empathy. Not knowing anyone involved, I guess all I can say is that I hope it comes from a place of ignorance as opposed to a place of malicious intent, if only because the former might mean this reckoning offers a chance for them to educate themselves, develop empathy and act better in the future, as opposed to being - - well. A full stop, I guess.

It feels kind of weird to bring this back to the kinktober stuff given the context of that, but I will given that's what you've sent me.

Look, to put it simply, I still don't even know who's running it since the event itself doesn't specify? I'm just here in my little corner of this fandom, and people keep alluding to things the organisers have done - and now people they're affiliated with - but a) I can't tell / nobody seems to want to tell me who's actually organising it, and b) I have some people telling me the organiser's been unfairly targeted / the victim of a smear campaign by others who I do know of and know have been posting things that are pretty divisive, while others are telling me the organisers are zionists and racists without evidence, or while sending me posts like this where - after searching those user accounts - I don't see any mention of or affiliation with the event at all?

Which isn't to say they're not running in the same circles, as you said, but I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know any of these people at all, and I don't know how they're connected or not connected, and while I appreciate that I think (hope!) people are being well-intentioned in sending me this sort of thing, it's still a little complicated to navigate for me given - - y'know. You're on anon. I can't exactly ask you follow-up questions or have a genuine and equal conversation with you about it. It puts me into a position where I'm being expected to make choices on information being drip fed to me, and the capacity to do my own research and make my own informed decisions about it is restricted because - again - I don't know how any of these people are connected to the organisers of this particular fandom event, nor even who the fandom event organisers are at all.

All that said, just to reiterate, I do think that behaviour at the plantation is obviously racist and unempathetic and, honestly, just pretty ridiculous in general (although the latter is my opinion on taking a Funkopop to any historic site, particularly a historic site that's a site of trauma [which with my history major hat on is lowkey most of them, so maybe just don't take toys on history tours]).

[torgawl]

trying to avoid leaks like