#navigating mental health struggles

[aggressivelyaverage21]

One Shot - "One of Those Nights" Years after her service to the OCS ended, Beatrice sometimes struggled. Who better to comfort her wife than one Ava Silva?

Or

An exploration of what their life might have looked like after it all as they navigate mental health struggles, and aging, and loving eachother.

Ava rolls over in her -- their -- bed, only for her arm to fall soft to the now cool mattress beneath it where her very warm, very not memory foam, wife should be. Lately it's felt more and more like her bed, especially at this hour. An hour that Ava hardly needed to roll back over and look at her phone to confirm -- 0345 -- and ' yes Bea, will have my phone in bed, because how else am I supposed to know what time it is when you sneak out' she heaves a sigh. 

Sad. Tired. Aching for her wife. Her wife who was struggling with ghosts that haunted and futures that never would come to pass.

Beatrice got like this a few times a year. 

It was predictable. It was survivable . It was completely outside of her fault or control. But sometimes, sometimes something would trigger something in Beatrice, and God did Ava hate that word. 

But it, according to the therapist, was the appropriate use actually. 

It was less violent than a trigger pull. Not that pulling a trigger was violent - a mere bend of a finger a few centimeters, but what happened after certainly was. Beatrice knew that all too well. 

And well, maybe come to think of it, it was exactly the right word. 

Because Bea would see something or someone who maybe looked a little like Shannon on a hard day at work, or hear a song that Mary would make them all listen to on the way home from missions in the grocery store. Or any number of "annoyingly nostalgic happenstances" (Bea's words obviously). 

Sometimes it was less of that sweet hurt only loving something like that could bring, and more to do with other parts of their former life. Maybe it was a quick startle that had Beatrice’s adrenaline spiking just the wrong way for a moment remembering one of those more violent times. A noise. A motion. A smell. 

It wasn’t anything like Beatrice spiraling immediately into a fit of chest heaving breaths and frantic eyes. Though that happened occasionally at the beginning. No. Usually it looked like nothing, because that startle response had been trained out of Beatrice. But, like anyone who had ever spoken to her wife knew, Beatrice had a fucking brilliant brain, and that brain liked to think - well over think in these cases. 

Hours later, Beatrice would be stuck on those thoughts. Memories. Regrets. And she would slip into missing them, or running through missions over and over. Unable to make the broken record of it all just stop. 

So, it wasn’t immediate. Not like a bullet after a trigger. It was a slow, sometimes avoidable, creep toward the same end.

A bloodied soul that ached from the holes torn through it with more devastation as they traveled then when they first entered and scar tissue couldn’t ever really quite fill them the same.

Which then led to the not sleeping. The struggling to put thoughts to words to speech. The paralyzation between trying to put thoughts to feelings or feelings to thoughts. 

To Beatrice's credit, she always got help. She reached out to her therapist. She tried her best to communicate with Ava. She talked to ‘Mother’ because calling her Suzanne never settled quite right with her, or Camilla or Lilith. She tried all the strategies she'd gained over the years to help. And they usually did, but there were always a few days where those bandages didn’t quite fit the proverbial bullet holes. 

Today was one of those days. 

KEEP READING

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

**A Man is Nothing Without His Borderline Personality Disorder Girlfriend: Hilarious Tales from the Trenches of Love**

Let’s face it: relationships can be wild rides, and when you throw in a girlfriend with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you’re in for an adventure like no other. As someone who’s been in this kind of relationship, I can confidently say that a man is nothing without his BPD girlfriend—especially when it comes to the endless stories that come from navigating the quirky world of love and mental health.

**The Emotional Rollercoaster**

First off, dating someone with BPD is like getting a VIP pass to the emotional rollercoaster of a lifetime. One moment, she’s on top of the world, showering you with love and affection like you’re the last slice of pizza at a party. The next, you’re standing in the eye of the storm, wondering why she’s suddenly convinced you’re the villain in her life story. “Did I forget to take out the trash?” you ponder, while she’s accusing you of plotting to ruin her life. Spoiler alert: No, you didn’t forget to take out the trash— but now you’re questioning every life choice you’ve ever made.

**Love and Fear of Abandonment: The Ultimate Combo**

Then there's the classic “I can’t believe you’re leaving me!” scenario every time you run to the store for milk. It’s a routine grocery trip, but suddenly, you’re walking into a scene reminiscent of a dramatic soap opera. “You’ll find someone better! I know it!” she cries, clutching her stuffed penguin like it’s the last lifeline on a sinking ship. Little do you know, this is just a friendly reminder that your seemingly mundane errand could threaten the very fabric of your relationship.

**Communication Shenanigans**

Let’s talk about communication, or as I like to call it, “The Game of Telephone on Steroids.” Conversations often morph into full-blown debates over the slightest misunderstandings. You could say, “Wow, it’s a beautiful day!” and end up with her convinced you’re subtly hinting that she’s not as bright and sunny as the weather. You know what they say: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” And trust me, if you say anything that can be interpreted as a hidden insult, you’ve just opened Pandora’s box.

**The “I Love You, I Hate You” Tango**

If you’re in it for the long haul, you’ll quickly learn that the “I love you, I hate you” tango is the official dance of your relationship. One minute, you’re cuddling on the couch, watching romantic comedies and discussing your future together. The next, you’re being accused of not caring enough because you forgot to ask about her favorite flavor of ice cream. The irony? You both just polished off a pint of her favorite flavor! But logic? Who needs that in a whirlwind romance?

**The Quirky Quirks**

Now, let’s not forget the quirky quirks that come with the territory. There are spontaneous road trips to nowhere, where you find yourself navigating to a destination you didn’t even know existed, all in the name of “let’s find ourselves!” You might even discover that your new favorite hobby is deep-diving into mental health articles, not for your sake, but to keep up with the whirlwind that is her life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and by the end, you’ll probably be a certified expert in BPD—complete with a degree in emotional navigation.

**In Conclusion: Embrace the Chaos**

At the end of the day, dating a woman with borderline personality disorder may come with its challenges, but it’s also filled with unforgettable moments, lots of laughs, and a kind of love that’s fierce and unwavering. Sure, there will be bumps along the way, but every relationship has its quirks. The key is to embrace the chaos, find humor in the madness, and remember that love comes in all forms—even if it includes an emotional rollercoaster or two.

So here’s to the men out there who find themselves navigating the tumultuous waters of love with a BPD girlfriend—may your adventures be wild, your stories be hilarious, and your relationship be a journey worth taking! Just remember, without her chaotic charm, you’d be left with a very boring life…and who wants that?

@bigmikeyde ❤️ @pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

I’m scared because I’ve lived my life wanting to die most of the time, and now that I don’t ...

[clingylilhoneybee]

This is the first time in years that new years has filled me with true hope and excitement n I really love that

[halyorke-vampiredisaster]

Most of the time In the Flesh is just another dvd case on my shelf that I don't think about and then once in a while I go to rewatch it very innocently and 5 minutes in I'm violently run over by how fucking raw it is and by how insanely hard it hits omg

[rfyimmo]

My Quarter-Life Crisis is trying to kill me. | MillennialMomManifesto

My kid was watching a nursery rhyme that said "Don't throw your junk in my back yard, my backyard’s full," and I froze, my mind spiraling until I sank into the floor and cried, Summer Walker style. Panic attack? Adult tantrum? How many times are my peers and women of my generation finding ourselves in positions like this?... And Why...?

The more I gain the confidence to speak with my peers about instances like these or the catalysts for such, I realize things like this are happening to most of us right now. Our unhappiness is mentally & physically showing itself in our faith, health, mind, bodies, actions and reactions.

Sociologists say "Mid-Life" by today's standards is between ages 35-75 🧐

What do you count as middle-aged? At almost 30, I feel like I used to think this was it, but now, I refuse to accept that. All my life society and media showed us mid-life crises were usually for 30 or 40-something year old men buying sports cars and trading in their wives for newer models, but today what does that look like? 

I'm calling it a quarter life crisis (and not mid-life crisis) because if the people in the Bible lived hundreds of years & there are still Centenarian Blue Zones on this modern day planet, I hope this is not the middle. I hoping we have so much more to go. Most people want to live longer and climb the proverbial ladder quicker - so that's where the crisis kicks in. My peers and I are trying not to be crushed under student debt, living costs that don't match the wage gaps, and dreams we don't know how to make come true, but still daily haunt us. Queue the panic about not being where we thought we would by now or how much we feel we should have gotten accomplished and comparison to our peers' highlight reels online.

Being super is tough: It's a constant battle of figuring out when to use your powers (for good or for evil), balancing your secret identity, maintaining your energy and constantly improving your powers or learning new ones.

Good Vs. Evil: Remember that panic from earlier? You know, the panic enacted by milestones you thought you would reach by now? Write down what you want, how you want to get it, and form a timeline to make it happen. Seeing your plan on paper can help ground you.

Secret Identity: Make the best of this time! Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are supposed to be here in this moment. There is more than one way to navigate life, careers, etc. Why else would there be so many paths if people were not meant to be different and explore different options. Do what works for you! Your powers are different form the supe next to you, and there are still muggles and mortals with no powers at all. Queue the Gratitude & Mindfullness.

Maintaining Energy: They say life gets better with age, so think of yourself and where you were 1, 3, 5, and even 10 years ago! You would KILL to know, do, have the things you do now & you learn daily how to do this life thing a little bit better than yesterday. Consider this quarter or midlife crisis a pitstop for refocus, weather this transition with reflection and grace for yourself. Identify the wisdom you have and apply it to new areas. 

"The purpose of your life is to find your gift, the work of life is to develop it, and the meaning of life is to give it away."

As far as Powers: I leave you with this quote:

"Midlife is when the primary operating system of your life shifts from the ego to the soul. It's a period when people start to rearrange what gives meaning to themselves."

As a 'SuperMom' This is How I'm Running on Sustainable & Renewable Energy:

While the early 20s and late teens are living their "Rich 'Hot Girl' Era", I'm trying to find my way into "Wealthy Hot Mom Era" who Dabbles in "Mob Wife."

✨A few Podcast Recommendations:🌤️

From Broken To Branding: B Simone on Nice & Neat

Highlighted Quote: "I wasn't protected as a child so I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from I walk on eggshells a lot trying to people please and I have a lack of boundaries because I want you to like me because I need validation from other people instead of getting it internally I wasn't I wasn't protected so I feel like I did a lot to make adults happy around me that were supposed to be there to protect me but really didn't make me feel comfortable as a child"

You've Been BLOCKING Your BLESSINGS! | Tabitha Brown

Tia Mowry: You’re Unhappy and You Don’t Know it - Learn to Leave the Comfort of Being Unhappy

✨Here's my Money & Positivity Playlist (to help you see the bright side:)🌤️

About the Author: Proud milso & toddler mom. Lover of art, creative writing & blogging 🎨 Believing in the power of efficiency & innovation 🌟 Passionate about helping small businesses thrive 🚀 Avid traveler & coffee enthusiast ☕️✈️

I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. Whether you're a fellow mom, a small business owner, or just someone looking for a bit of inspiration, let's connect and support each other on this incredible journey.

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[myun-saidthoughts]

˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗ Astrology Observations ˗ˏˋ ⭐ ˎˊ˗

🌟 The placement of Pluto in your chart can reveal the theme of pain or transformation you might experience in this life—pain that serves as a catalyst for profound internal and mental shifts within yourself.

The depth of pain will be dependent on your own choices; if you choose to ignore red flags the harsher and more severe the wake up call would be.

Pluto in the 5th house: Struggles might emerge from overindulgence in impulsive or immature choices, such as gambling or seeking joy in fleeting pleasures (such as affairs or short term relationships). Poor choices may manifest because there's a need of deep inner child healing, which could cause deeper emotional wounds in the process. The extremes of choosing quick fun can lead into a habit of poor decision making.  Pluto in the 7th house: Challenges and transformative pain often arise through intimate romantic relationships, pushing you to confront deep-seated patterns and fears. If you keep choosing people who won't choose you or if you rely on others for a sense of self, identity or acceptance then the wake up call would be more prominent or severe. Pluto in the 11th house: Painful experiences may come through friendships or involvement in communities, leading to shifts in how you connect with and trust others. If you find yourself relying on others or seeking external validation through communities, friend groups, or social connections, the wake-up call may lead you to recognize your own worth and embrace yourself as you are, without needing acknowledgment from others. Pluto in the 12th house: Ignoring your psyche or mental struggles can lead to self-unraveling. The more you avoid or dismiss your internal mental health setbacks, the deeper and more painful the lessons will become. You may not even be aware of your emotional needs, but the longer you avoid confronting your sensitivity or past wounds—whether from childhood or relationships—the harder it will be to redefine your self-concept and belief system. You may even experience a revelation about yourself after overcoming depression or anxiety, which can help you understand yourself better. However, remember that being introspective and aware doesn't always mean you're truly feeling your feelings. You may know what to think or how to act, but it’s crucial to connect the emotions you've been holding onto with the feelings beneath them.

Pluto placed in less interactive houses may have a less intense theme, but if you also have Chiron in the same house, its influence can become much more prominent and life-changing, amplifying the potential for deep healing or painful growth.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 5th, 7th, or 8th house, you're more likely to seek out romantic connections, desire a partner, or long for one—even if you’ve experienced emotional turmoil in your childhood due to your parents or past partners.

🌟 If you have many inner planets in your 1st, 2nd, or 12th house, you’re less likely to be open to a connection. Subconsciously, you might desire or wish for someone to be “your person,” but you may never allow yourself to fully give in.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the intensity of this connection swings between unspoken loyalty and complete avoidance—one extreme driven by the fear of showing disinterest, and the other by the fear of being a burden. If you’re not preoccupied with displaying your loyalty to them in a room full of people, you find yourself avoiding eye contact or minimizing conversation to maintain a facade of “normalcy”—a normalcy that doesn’t truly exist in this connection.

🌟 Pisces/Scorpio placements may have a strong tendency to seek deep emotional experiences during times of creativity. They often search for a specific feeling or emotional state as a catalyst to create art or writing.

🌟 Aquarius placements, especially Moon or Rising, often struggle with avoidance as one of their worst traits in any relationships they navigate—whether romantic, platonic, or even with themselves.

🌟 Scorpios are known for their extreme loyalty. Once they choose you, they are deeply committed and unlikely to leave unless a traumatic emotional blockage arises within the relationship.

🌟 Scorpio risings can have beautiful striking eyes, and because of that their eyes can heavily influence appearance. Their eyes may even become an ice breaker for conversations/be talked about a-lot.

🌟 Aries + Libra axis turnover rate when it comes to relationships is incredibly high. Moving on to the next can come naturally to them unless they have other placements that contradicts that tendency.

🌟 Air signs need intellectual stimulation; they need to feel excited and curious with you.

🌟 8th House placements (esp. Moon or Sun) or Scorpio placements are incredibly private towards the public. They naturally will not post on social media: no instagram stories, tweets, memes, their thoughts or feelings willingly and openly.

This is because

At a young age their needs, thoughts or wishes were ignored and pushed to the side for others sake and so they now have coped to never share their own inner thoughts or feelings to others.

They've been burned or hurt in the past by someone they've trusted, and now they don't share or openly state their true feelings outwardly towards others.

If they have a Taurus/Libra/Leo IC or Gemini/Sagittarius/placements then the chances of sharing themselves online is more likely.

🌟 In 8th/Pluto + 12th/Neptune house synastry connections, if you two are not on speaking terms sudden lows may occur when you're reminded of what was.

If it's been weeks or months since you've both talked and one random day they watch your story on your social media a sudden longing for them may come.

If you run into them and the conversation didn't amount to what you wished for, a low may come and you'll feel as if the relationship is completely over.

🌟 8th house synastry amounts to constant cycles and loops, if you're not wishing for them, you say you're over them.

There could be an emotional block between you two and the desire for them may diminish but If they look at you for one second the way they used too, the desire for them will arise as if the feeling never left.

🌟 In 12th house and Neptune synastry, you might covertly share song lyrics on your social media, hoping they’ll read them and sense that the lyrics are meant as a message for them. Instead of expressing your feelings face-to-face, posting these lyrics in a "hidden" way feels safer.

And if so, you yourself may wonder if anything they publicly post, say, or do is a secret message for you.

You may even go out of your way to somehow find a perfect song that depicts the relationship between you two and use that song as a indirect message to state your true feelings without having to outwardly verbalize them.

(The above statement is more true for those who have Pisces, 12th house, Neptune influence in their cart)

🌟 3rd house synastry creates ease with communication, especially if there's 4th house synastry as well, and if the planets involved are the Sun, Moon, or Venus.

🌟 For 12th house synastry to cause intense idealizations, thoughts, dreams, wishes or obsessiveness there has to be attraction involved, the more attracted you are to them the more you'll idealize them.

🌟 A Neptune/12th house person and a planet person can both experience intense desire, longing, or overthinking, but the way they process these feelings depends on their individual natal charts.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry connections, you might never actually date the person, yet the emotions they evoke within you can feel as profound and intimate as if you had.

🌟 Neptune and 12th house synastry: "You are perfect for me; you feel like everything I could ever wish for in someone."

If you're avoidant, this feeling can be terrifying because it brings a sense of inadequacy, as if you could never live up to the idealized version of yourself they see. You'll long for them deeply, but the way they look at you may feel unsettling, foreign, or out of place. Even if they seem like your dream person, self-doubt can drive you to run. You might fear disappointing them or feel you’ll never measure up to the partner they deserve. You'll view them as some sort of prize from a distance and you'll search for them in other connections but you'll never allow yourself to choose them, not like they choose you.

If you're anxious, this feeling will strike a familiar chord, it'll resonate so deeply within and letting go will seem impossible. You'll feel this pull toward them, you'll feel as if they’re your muse, your catharsis, and you'll wish that they were your person. Even without words, you'll sense that they want you, and this silent connection will consume your thoughts. You’ll compare the way they make you feel to everyone else, and you'll search for that same intensity in other people's gazes. You’ll sit in your head, wondering if your wishes align with theirs, questioning if they feel the same. Over time, you’ll realize the emotions they stir in you are unmatched, which leads you to hold onto the connection longer than you should, you'll rather wish on the what could be's than accept what is.

🌟 Pisces or 12th house placements often turn to writing or art as a means of expressing their inner thoughts, feelings, and longings. The more they feel, the more their creativity flows.

🌟 If you have water placements or planets in water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), deep emotions are embedded within you. The more you avoid these feelings, the more likely physical symptoms such as anxiety or mental struggles will occur. It's your body’s way of processing the hidden emotions you’ve learned to suppress. These unaddressed feelings can manifest in subtle, physical ways, and it's a reflection of the emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th house synastry, the second and I mean very second there's a emotional block between you two the deep seated desire for them becomes less intense.

Ex: If you also share 12th house synastry with them, parts of their actions will feel like subtle hints that are meant for you, in essence you want to believe you are more important to them than others, and you feel like you are. But once something comes to light or if you were shown that what you thought to be wasn't the case, the realization creates emotional distance and the desire for them (in that moment) shrinks. It feels as if the importance that you thought your presence gave them suddenly means nothing, and from that feeling creates a instant "I'm never speaking to them again" mentality.

🌟 With the 12th house involved, their actions may reveal their actual character, and while you are able to clearly see these actions (in a objective sense), you might still feel deeply tied to the version of them you want to believe exists. You’ll observe their behavior yet convince yourself that someone better lies beneath the surface.

🌟 With 8th and 12th house synastry, there’s a part of you that feels you’ll never compare to anyone else they encounter. Even if you two never dated, there’s a deep sense that the way they feel when they’re with you is unmatched and it's something you intuitively will feel. It's likely that there will be no set actions or verbal affirmations to confirm this knowing.

[spotlight-if]

Lights, Camera…Chaos.

[PLAY HERE] (October 23rd, 2024) Act 1, Chapter 1, 64.2k words.

For as long as you can remember, your dream has stayed the same—you want nothing more than to make it as an actor in Hollywood. After years as an overlooked, overworked talent, your big break comes from an unlikely source. And it’s one that changes everything, for better or worse.

Hollywood is its own character within this world—sometimes it loves you, sometimes it wants nothing more than to see you crash and burn. Navigating this ever changing landscape while balancing your own interpersonal relationships is only half the challenge. The other half is memorizing your lines.

Navigate the red carpet, bloodthirsty paparazzi, cut-throat tabloids and complicated relationship dynamics with A-list celebrities (who may or may not be completely insane.)

But, hey: isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?

Key Features:

- Customize your Actor: are you a classic Hollywood heartthrob? An eccentric and unconventional recluse? Are you kind and genuine despite the fame, or a cutthroat diva with undeniable talent?

- Navigate scandal, paparazzi, and stan culture: dodge or embrace the flashing lights. Interact with your fans, or distance yourself from them for your sanity. Wait—who are they shipping your character with?

-Build your legacy: choose between the stability of superhero blockbusters or turn into an indie darling. Or, maybe forgoe both to become a household name in the horror genre.

- Network and build relationships: whether they’re manufactured by your well-meaning publicist or spawned from real feelings, forge dynamic and ever changing relationships with other industry icons.

- Try to manage your mental health: the dark side of the industry lurks in every corner—the highs are high, but the lows are ever lower.

Characters:

Kendall Mays (gender selectable)—ever the loyal best friend, Kendall followed you into the throes of showbiz without hesitation. From fighting over toys on the playground to helping you run lines for a major motion picture, you can always count on them to have your back. That is, before they met Mason—their ever-present boyfriend who demands more and more of their time. You were never that great at sharing.

[Note: Kendall is not a romance option.]

Sutton Foster (he/him, she/her)—child star turned award winning powerhouse. Sutton Foster has everything an actor could want—well, minus the countless stays at rehab centers around the world. It’s undeniable that Sutton is a generational talent, but what’s even more notable is their messy personal life. You yourself have been caught in Sutton’s gravitational pull, once upon a time. The question lies in whether or not you’ll pull yourself away.

Wyn Grace (he/him, she/her)—on stage, Wyn is electric. The same cannot be said for Wyn off-stage. The lead singer of the up-and-coming Indie band is struggling with their meteoric rise to fame. As the awards pile up and the crowds get bigger, Wyn is unraveling at the seams. All they wanted to do was make music with their friends, but the fame makes them reconsider it all.

Lex Moreau (he/him)—an older, award-winning director with an…eccentric disposition. Yet despite his volatile nature and obsession with perfection, anyone who’s anyone would kill to work with him. Lex is always in search for a muse, a great beacon to pour all of his artistic vision into. And now, he thinks he’s found that in you. Lucky you?

[C is a conditional character, only appears based on choices you make.]

Carlo/Carmen Mencina (gender selectable)—C is harder to pin down than a stable acting gig in LA. When you’re together—it’s kismet. The problem lies in when you’re apart. C’s frequent disappearances abroad leave a bad taste in your mouth, and when a shocking truth comes to light, it’s not just your relationship in the spotlight—it’s your life, too.

Flings and other mini-romances will be available as well. But these I will let be revealed as the story progresses.

When writing this game, I knew what themes I wanted to focus on, and the care/detail needed to do so. Hence, this game is strictly 18+.

TW: death, substance abuse, suicide, bullying, explicit language, violence, and explicit (skippable) sexual content.

Thank you for reading my intro! Reblogs are welcome, and my ask box is open (:

And major thank you @thecutestgrotto for the gorgeous headers!

[genderqueerdykes]

im not sorry the truth of the transmasculine experience is ugly. i'm not sorry that we have to frequently discuss sexual and physical violence and abuse. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss violent physical abuse and death. i'm not sorry that we have to discuss homelessness, mental illness, addiction, disabilities, and other challenges in life.

we struggle. we do not instantly gain male privilege the second we come out. even if we pass. when someone knows we're trans we're treated like a woman no matter what. we can sometimes get lucky and pass with strangers but eventually people around us find out because people tell each other without our consent.

we face all kinds of abuse due to the fact that people feel entitlement to our bodies, regardless of what our AGAB is. they feel entitled to our faces, our hair, our entire appearance. they focus on the face that we're ruining something "pretty". they threaten corrective sexual violence to remind us that we're "just women". it happens constantly. this is not an isolated incident and virtually nobody wants people to talk about it when it comes to transmasculine people.

trans men often get injured for one reason or another. usually because someone wants to make them "prove" they're a man, to "toughen them up" or to "prove to them that they're a woman". sometimes this results in sexual assault. other times it results in physical assault. and sometimes people just kill trans men. all because they hate that a "woman" can transition into a man.

it's an ugly part of our reality but it needs to be discussed because otherwise people use the lack of that conversation as ammunition to say transmascs don't struggle.

transmasculine people struggle to stay housed. transmasculine people get kicked out of their living situations very often for many reasons. it's hard for transmascs to get jobs because often times people want either a man or a woman for a specific position and fuss over what they think the transmasc's gender is. misgendering is a huge issue at work. going stealth at work can be painful. being in the closet at work can be painful

transmascs are often disabled and struggle to get care due to people not taking AFAB patients' pain and symptoms seriously. this is a huge issue with any kind of AFAB person or any woman. all woman and AFAB people struggle with having their symptoms taken seriously when seeking serious medical attention to the point of possibly being undiagnosed for life, thus being unable to get on disability. trans women face this just as much as AFAB cis women, it's a huge issue in the medical industry

transmasculine people struggle to say on their hormones (or access them at all). testosterone is a controlled substance in many countries which means that you need a prior authorization to get the medication and need to consistently see a provider to get blood tests and check ups. it can be difficult to do so if you are low income and sometimes certain pharmacists will intentionally find ways to withhold hormones due to their own prejudices

transmasculine people struggle to get pregnancy support and care. it is very difficult for transmasculine people to figure out how to navigate their pregnancy, either due to their HRT provider not knowing much about pregnancy, or having a gynecologist who's not familiar with transmasculine health.

transmascs get denied from spaces made for men constantly. even if they pass, if word gets around that they're trans they can easily be kicked out of a space. transmasculine lesbians are often removed from lesbian, transmasc and/or non binary spaces. transmasc butches are often ostracized from all communities their identities correlate to. trans men and transmasc enbies are seen as a threat to women.

there is ugliness in every pocket of the queer community when it comes to how cisheteronormative society treats us. we all face disgusting treatment that needs to be addressed. it's important to consider how this system affects everyone underneath it. we need to talk about the positive things, it's good to help those are questioning, but we also must discuss what struggles we face in order to humanize ourselves and show that we people, too. none of us have it easy.

[xxautumnivyxx]

I think I’ve done a lot to work on seeing myself as powerful no matter what the mean parts of my brain come up with. It’s a struggle, but I’m proud of my strength and navigating that to also improve in my mental healths strength is important too. We’ve got this. ❤️

[azure-cherie]

|𝑃𝐿𝑈𝑇𝑂 𝐴𝑆𝑃𝐸𝐶𝑇𝑆 |

What does Pluto represent?

It represents regeneration, metamorphosis, to change and become into something new , it represents innermost feelings, what have you discarded, thrown locked away , it can show where your blockages might be , and acknowledging them and healing them will lead you to embody yourself more , the core step of regeneration is acception so accept yourself for all the darks and lights and greys they will show you your own soul beautiful, empowering, unfearful.

This post is based on what's observed if it doesn't resonate please check other placements 🌷 This post can be read for tropical as well as vedic astrology however in vedic the outer planets don't matter as much .

Tw : I have tried to be honest and some stuff can be triggering please know that these are general observations

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Sun 🌞

Conjunct: These people go through a lot early on , like rejections, rumours that their kindness is fake , as they get older they get famous for a new look of theirs for example, someone maybe known for being a chocolate boy when younger but they age like fine wine as they get older , they like to take major risks in life . Their energy stays hidden from people who don't appreciate it in a way they will only embody their true self when they're truely appreciated . Their inner child is oftentimes locked and can be accessed and healed through breathing exercises, sunbathing, helping out poor children or lost souls.

Trine : They are known mostly for having a profound balance in what they do , like a beauty with brains type of vibe , they get famous for things they do authentically , are you ready to show yourself to the world if yes it will take you for all that you got , now you choose . A good placement for bombshell beauties , they are known for their unique looks eg : Angelina jolie, grace kelly , really revolutionary.

Sextile: They have a very experimental fashion and with every look of theirs , their outlook towards life changes , change in styles give them growth . Might be kind of control freaks and perfectionists but they actually work best in chaos and unpredictability gains a lot for them. Men with this are known to be very brave and powerful. People with this take challenges and criticism very well and use it to their advantage .let go of the mentality that society will only love you when you have all of the best things , infact the people who love you will love you regardless.

Square: These people literally have cults , their views are so strong that only people who really want to believe and deal take them , they will throw your triggers at your face. Believers of tough love , they might be a little too misunderstood, it takes time for people to get through their layers . You may think , here finally i know this person, but you'll be shocked about how much more they have to offer .

Opposite: These people have a lot of internal struggles , they often choose the wrong people to trust , fame isn't the best thing for them , a quite luxurious happy life is something they are content with . They have a very sophisticated face , they have a look of I'm satisfied but watch me do more kinda face . They are often famous for their aesthetic choices . Tw : fame may lead to early death , unless they learn to navigate it .

Moon 🌙

Conjunct: People have too many views about them and their mental health, they may suffer from a lot but you don't have to remind them , they already know and are working. They have a great spectrum of emotions and can be well known for writing their innermost thoughts. Intuitive and good at channeling and connected to their daimon. Divine inspiration always leads them . They have a very enticing and captivating face . Sometimes their speech is confusing, but they are trying to do good for you , might be a little rough at times.

Trine : They are intellectual and can provide anyone with sufficient motivation to do something. Good at telepathy and communication. They hold the power to influence people for good and bad . Have an easy navigation about their emotions. Some people might hate or be jealous because of how well they can navigate their triggers.

Sextile: They are soft and pure hearted , oftentimes known for their activism and support all the people around them with open hearts , it's a good placement for psychologists . They are known to persist despite all the hurdles around them . They like punk rock , and like to speak on dark topics for the welfare of society . Liked by many because of their authenticity .

Square : They like to mainly stay away from social media , as too much presence leads to people building wrong assumptions about them . They have revolutionary and conflicting views about things . These people regret not taking the right action at the right time . Can turn out to be manipulative and self sabotaging .

Opposite: They can be narcissistic, too absorbed. Though they introduce new trails of ideas , their speech is oftentimes too extreme and unacceptable. They are well known for their work . Known for their sad personality they feel things really deeply and are often confused about their own emotions. They have deep voices. People can really relate to their cries for help , they just need to have peace with themselves, and know that not everything shouldn't be known by everyone.

Mars ♦️

Conjunct : makes one a visionary for change , sometimes destruction. They have violent control of their emotions. Feels isolated initially which they turn into super power and channel it through their art and daily life . They can give great advice on just about anything, people trust them but also fear them .

Trine : hates to be ignored , when someone disregards them they get in moods of ignorance . Likes attention. They attract men who are a bit passive aggressive. Good at calisthenics , a lot of people consider their body to be a piece of art . Prone to knee injuries.

Sextile : common placement for royalty and fame after marriage ( rich powerful men ) . The people with this placement need to learn to love themselves, can be too fixated on others to love them which in turn creates a void, when they are developed , they enjoy themselves a lot , a very nice business mind and can give a good sense of life and the game of it . Lowkey reminds me of Shera .

Square : They like boyish clothing, can be stuck in scandals for example : Mila kunis for her age, courtney for the m*****r of Kurt, Kristin Stewart for cheating . They have a great sense of confidence , people try to copy them a lot . Usually they are trend setters in rare sectors . They tend to have a pull for life and the purpose of it but are confused often .

Opposite: Gives one strong sense of justice , however at times it could bounce back on them , for example they raised their voice against some injustice, it indeed hampers their image . Being a mediator is a peaceful case for them but if they choose to go for their heart that is true, they experience turbulence , initially until they realise life is all about give and take . Might give you a square face and lean body .

Venus 🦪

Conjunct : god knows you know about the deadly charm they exude , when Venus is conjunct pluto every step that you take towards healing and facing that is coming towards you , you are blessed in beauty ( how don't ask me try ) you become so self assured and so much more confident, they also have an air of knowing a lot even though they are still learning holy shit the grasp they have upon us .

Trine : These people can really turn their hurt into their power , they strive to get something in life, they know that whatever happens they can get out of it, so beautifully reminds me of the phoenix , rise like a beautiful song .

Sextile : you're intense you're full of depth and beauty, they have deep philosophical and in the core know that money cant buy all happiness but it's essential for their survival, they know how to strike a balance in life and really are the masters of their own fate

Square : Venus and Pluto forming squares gives one a drastic drive to be their authentic self to accept themselves in all their forms be it good bad or weird they aren't afraid to go through the little deaths in the self discovery of finding themselves again and again . They have many aha moments as they are always learning something new about themselves.

Opposite: this placement could bring internal struggles about looks and money , they think they can't manifest money but it's already written, these placements agree for you to accept them and work with them for your benefit. However this could also lead to them having a god complex and a feeling that they can do no wrong .

Jupiter ✨

Conjunct : These people are one of a kind very wise and you know those kinda people who give great advice because they have f*****d up in real time so with all they have gone through they try to live the best lives for themselves and everyone around them , these people are also very lucky in gambling, lottery and stock market .

Trine : blessed in marriage and business with people who see themselves in their true aura and still choose to love them. These people are dominating and they know what they want , don't like people correcting them too much.

Sextile : with a trine in this position one might go through this thing of being bad or fluctuating with money , once you have a lot other time you're blaming yourself for spending too much but be assured that no matter what , what you lose you will earn it back again too . They like to help the oppressed and the outcast .

Square : when in square you really go through the challenging times , the key to why you're great is because you can always self discover yourself again that's why the people around you see you in such a light of a leader , you're like a hierophant to the lost people because you found yourself again .

Opposite: you might feel unlucky that your luck doesn't work in your favour but her we talk about the solution so the thing is you're meant to work alright this pretty much like working on a child , you have to love your inner child so much so truly . you work hard for the benefits they work a little late but they def work c'mon it's with jupiter ain't no way jup ain't blessing you.

Mercury 🖊️

Conjunct: they know that the emotions they have good or bad are a result of innermost issues , very aware of their problems and solutions . Makes one a very good person to go for advice . Good in the logical sector , they like to chill or spend time reading stuff. They study or seek mental stimulation in times of distress

Trine : they can bring out their innermost desires easily through art and literature, healing when it comes to skin is fast for them , their brains work in a very result oriented manner , they think about the consequences and possibilities before doing something drastic . Makes one a lover of fiction of all kinds .

Sextile : They really find inspiration in the things most people don't see . They pay attention to the things most people ignore and find a way to use it to get a hold of information. These are the people with a variety of information in all sectors ,though conjunction and trine gives the intelligence, they choose to restore more as a built mechanism to enchant people

Square: this gives a hard time accepting this for what they truly are might lead to some anxiety and adhd issues , this could make one scared of changes . Early age bullying could be seen but with time , the youth of mercury and the resilience of Pluto makes one a visionary, someone who knows so much.

Opposite: might have a hard time to channel logic , though their emotions are alright . Might fall for fake promises and they have to work on their people pleasing tendencies. This gives one a hunger to do better in life , eventually they see that all that their mind is feeding them isn't true and they can always do better than what they have been taught .

Saturn 🪐

Conjunct :makes one a very disciplined person , they strive to work hard . You know the lana lyric " I'm doing it for all of us who never got the chance , and all my birds of Paradise " like wise they work hard so everyone around them can be happy and healthy, they make great people to bond with if you wanna succed in life and are looking for like minded people.

Trine : they are very hardworking towards what they want very goal oriented people. One thing i have seen is they can never work unless their work space is really clean , an organised view of things make their mind work better . People see them as someone who can be stiff at times , you can sometimes let loose is alright and appreciated to enjoy life .

Sextile : This works kind of like Saturn retrograde, the initial obstacles remain while Saturn gives the bad later in life when one has proven worthy to have something . Since life has thrown away them a lot of times they learn to be really humble , and try to assess all the possibilities before being sad about something. They understand that life is what you make it.

Square : might have a hard time following routines , they blame their luck a lot for having problems . When they get into healing themselves they have to deal with a lot of intense inner conflict and they might not take it very well , however to have a strong mind one has to deal with this tw might fall into depression. They come out stronger than ever knowing the power of free will .

Opposition: they believe rules are meant to be broken and i believe though this is opposition and might be malefic but being with Saturn and Pluto this gives one a very idgaf mentality which it turns out good for most times as one doesn't spend too much time contemplating. Might ignore their problems at times . But once in life the urge to get their life on track will occur and they will set things right for themselves. They want what they want by hook or by crook .

Uranus 🪻

Conjunct : They orchestrate changes, they are potent in telling people why they should do some things and why some things will bring them the better , they can really motivate people to live life for themselves. Usually they have strong sense of justice and remain very grounded .

Trine : They are free spirited, charming people , one thing about them is they can really see what others don't they can really put up the themes regarding what's beautiful and what's ugly and bring it to the world , work really hard to bring about equality in the society .

Sextile : This is a placement for the psychics healers and mystical beings , they learn that their position in the world is to heal and through their consistent efforts they heal themselves as well as others . They might find themselves in a state of dilemma sometimes as they are always energized with new ideas , they learn to channel it eventually.

Square : people with this can be a little stiff and scared about changes , they want things to be the same but to realise life's all about changes and how good one does to cope with it . These people are also very good at keep people on their toes. They guide themselves back to themselves. With this placement you don't loose your sense of self.

Opposite: A lot of people have their eyes on them and every move they make so they feel anxious and try to avoid changes . This placement can make one a control freak but if you choose to have faith in yourself and flow sometimes in life you will see the beauty of things that aren't forced , changes are necessary, cultivate the courage it requires to change .

Neptune 🌀

Conjunct : makes one a good artist , bestows beauty , other worldliness . Your dreams make so much impact in you daily life . Manifestation is your power you make it work for you all the damn time . It could bestow good healing powers and career in the therapy sector of all kinds. And this gives so much mystery to people.

Trine : They find very creative ways to channel their energy, might make one a bit lazy . They can work their emotions in a very creative way and achieve great things in life on the basis of their belief systems . Also good at predictions and reiki and astrology.

Sextile : These people are always full of surprises they have so much to give to the world , often they can come off as delusional but eventually they prove everyone wrong by getting all they want . However to warn the laziness if given a chance to grow will grow, so avoid it and go make the life you deserve

Square :. They have bizarre dreams , they aspire for a dreamland and seek ways to make the world a paradise , this in positive sense as they work hard to do things their way . Their homes are always so pretty and decorated . They can make anyone relax and calm down from the chaos . To truly grow in life they have to move with wisdom and have to accept all changes and chances with bravery.

Opposite : tw , this could lead to some sort of depression, addiction or inner conflicts , they seem and feel lonely or left out , they are great artists but their minds might be a little dark place to be in . To channel this energy properly is one great thing to live with the darkness and transmute it into light is great . Be sure of what you want and never ever bow down to what is trying to bring you down

I hope you enjoyed reading this post 🫂thank you so much, please consider reblogs and feedback it helps .

Suggestions for any post are open through the ask box

Have a great day/ night 😚

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

Arrested Youth: 98 Degrees

I'm looking for an antibiotic for compulsive behaviour

I've reached a boiling point

I call my CVS neighbourhood store and told them

"My temperature is 98 degrees"

I put my head inside my freezer just to get some relief

But I guess it didn't have an everlasting effect

'Cause the moment that I pulled it out, I started to sweat

Now I wish they had an antidote for cognitive stress

Maybe I'll move to Alaska, build an igloo and rest

Inside my head, it's 98 degrees

Oh my God, what you want from me?

I tried my best to get some relief

Just a little break to put my mind at ease

It's 98 degrees

My fever isn't chronic, it's just diabolic in nature

I guess the devil did me a favour

'Cause it makes me stronger every day when

I get out of bed and find a way to make friends with my darkness

As I'm sitting on this park bench

It's 98 degrees outside, I'm feeling nauseous

But I do know one thing though

Feelings, they come, they go

Saturday all the way through Sunday

Sunday to Monday, oh!

Inside my head, it's 98 degrees

Oh my God, what you want from me?

I tried my best to get some relief

Just a little break to put my mind at ease

So I hold my head up high

And hope for peace of mind

Try to stay six feet away

'Cause right now, I don't feel like me

I wish I had a PhD to understand psychology

But I don't, I must roam through my own complications

If they built Rome in a day

This is not complicated

Inside my head, it's 98 degrees

Oh my God, what you want from me?

I tried my best to get some relief

Just a little break to put my mind at ease

So I hold my head up high

And hope for peace of mind

It's 98 degrees

It's 98 degrees

(It's 98 degrees, 98 degrees, 98 degrees)

It's 98 degrees

The song explores themes of mental health, emotional struggle, and the quest for relief from intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. Here’s a deeper analysis of its meaning:

1. **Compulsive Behavior and Anxiety:**

The opening lines mention looking for "an antibiotic for compulsive behavior," suggesting a desire to remedy the overwhelming thoughts and actions that can accompany anxiety. This metaphor indicates a yearning for a quick fix or a solution to manage mental distress.

2. **Physical and Mental Discomfort:**

The reference to the temperature being "98 degrees" serves as a metaphor for feeling frazzled or overwhelmed. The act of putting one’s head in the freezer symbolizes a desperate attempt to find relief from mental discomfort, illustrating the lengths to which someone might go to cool down their racing thoughts or emotions.

3. **Coping Mechanisms:**

The lyrics mention searching for an "antidote for cognitive stress," reflecting the struggle to find effective coping mechanisms in the face of anxiety. The desire to move to Alaska and build an igloo highlights a wish for isolation or a retreat from the overwhelming pressures of life.

4. **Emotional Fluctuations:**

The line "feelings, they come, they go" indicates an understanding of the transient nature of emotions. It acknowledges that while distressing feelings can be intense, they are not permanent. This recognition is an essential aspect of coping and emotional awareness.

5. **Self-Reflection and Growth:**

The phrase "find a way to make friends with my darkness" suggests an acceptance of one's struggles. It implies that rather than running away from painful thoughts or feelings, there is a willingness to confront and understand them as part of personal growth.

6. **Isolation and Social Distance:**

The mention of trying to "stay six feet away" can be interpreted literally as a reference to social distancing (possibly in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic) but also metaphorically, indicating a desire to keep emotional distance from others when feeling overwhelmed or not oneself.

7. **Aspirations for Understanding:**

The desire for a "PhD to understand psychology" reflects a longing for deeper knowledge of one’s own mental processes and complexities. This line captures the frustration that often accompanies mental health struggles, where individuals may feel lost in their complications.

8. **Hope for Peace of Mind:**

Despite the struggles described throughout the lyrics, there is an underlying hope expressed in the desire for "peace of mind." Holding one's "head up high" signifies resilience and the pursuit of stability amid turmoil.

98 Degrees - Conclusion Of Lyrics:

Overall, the song articulates a vivid and relatable depiction of the internal battles many face with anxiety and compulsive behaviors. It combines humor and raw honesty to convey the journey of seeking relief and understanding within one’s mind. Through its metaphors and imagery, it highlights the complexities of mental health while also underscoring the importance of self-acceptance and resilience in the face of challenges.

Navigating the Heat: My Personal Journey with Anxiety and Compulsive Behavior

As I sat listening to a song that resonated deeply within me, I found myself reflecting on my own journey with anxiety and the compulsive behaviors that often accompany it. The lyrics spoke to a struggle that many of us face: the overwhelming weight of thoughts that seem incessant and the quest for relief that often feels just out of reach.

The Search for Relief

The song begins with a longing for an “antibiotic for compulsive behavior.” How many times have I wished for a quick fix to quiet my racing mind? The metaphor struck a chord with me. In moments of heightened anxiety, I often feel as if I’m searching for something—anything—that could provide relief. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms over the years, from meditation to exercise, but there are times when the pressure builds, and I just want to escape.

The imagery of putting one’s head in a freezer to cool down is both comedic and poignant. I can relate to the desperation of seeking any form of relief, even if it seems absurd. There have been nights when I’ve tossed and turned, my mind racing, and I’ve thought about how nice it would be to find solace in something so simple. But like the lyrics suggest, that fleeting relief often doesn’t last. The moment I pull myself from the metaphorical freezer, reality hits hard again.

Understanding My Emotional Landscape

The line about “moving to Alaska, building an igloo” paints a vivid picture of wanting to isolate myself from the chaos that life can bring. There are days when the thought of running away from it all feels like the only option. But I’ve come to understand that running away doesn’t solve the problem; it only postpones the inevitable.

What resonates with me most from the song is the acknowledgment that “feelings, they come, they go.” I’ve learned that emotions are not permanent, and while the intensity of anxiety can feel suffocating at times, it’s important to remember that, like the changing seasons, it too shall pass. Embracing this notion has been a vital part of my healing process.

Embracing the Darkness

The lyrics also touch on making “friends with my darkness.” This concept, although daunting, has been incredibly liberating for me. Instead of running from my anxiety, I’ve started to confront it. I’ve learned that acknowledging my struggles is the first step toward understanding them. There have been moments on park benches, just like the song describes, when I’ve allowed myself to sit with my feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.

I’ve realized that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and lost. What matters is how I navigate through those feelings. I’ve begun to see my darkness not as an enemy but as a part of my story—a chapter that contributes to my growth.

The Quest for Peace of Mind

The desire for “peace of mind” is something I think we all crave, especially in a world that can feel chaotic and overwhelming. I often find myself holding my head high and reminding myself that I’m doing my best, even when challenges arise. I strive to be kind to myself, understanding that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

The mention of wanting a “PhD to understand psychology” reflects my own yearning for deeper understanding. If only I could decipher the complexities of my mind! But, in truth, I’m beginning to accept that the journey of understanding myself is ongoing. It’s filled with twists and turns, and while I may not have all the answers, I am learning to navigate my own complications.

Conclusion: Embracing the Heat

Ultimately, the song encapsulates a journey of resilience. It’s a reminder that while anxiety and compulsive behaviors can feel like a fever—intense and sometimes unbearable—there is strength in facing them head-on. I’ve come to appreciate the moments of clarity and relief that follow the storms, knowing that they are part of a larger tapestry of my life.

As I continue to navigate this journey, I hold onto the hope that I can find balance and peace within myself. It may not always be easy, but I know that I’m not alone in this struggle. Each day brings new opportunities to embrace my feelings, seek relief, and ultimately, find my way back to my own light. Just like the temperature in the song, my journey is a constant ebb and flow, and I’m learning to dance with the heat.

[halfmoonaria]

superstar

pairing: jenna ortega & reader

summary: you're a singer, and jenna thinks you're a superstar

word count: 1.6k

Jenna had always been adamant in interviews and podcasts that she wasn't looking for a partner.

The notion of opening herself up to someone, of sharing her most intimate and vulnerable sides, was terrifying to her.

She'd often say that the industry was already a whirlwind, and adding a relationship into the mix seemed like a recipe for disaster.

Her words resonated with a certain conviction, leaving fans and followers convinced that Jenna was dedicated solely to her career and personal growth.

Hence, when news broke that Jenna had met someone, the world was taken aback.

And her family, who had long accepted her stance on relationships, were particularly stunned.

What made it even more astonishing was that her partner was not just anyone but a singer. The very idea seemed to clash with everything Jenna had previously expressed.

If anyone had expected Jenna to find love, it would have been with someone far removed from the spotlight, someone who could offer a grounding presence amidst the chaos of fame.

Yet, there she was, completely enchanted by you, whose life was as much in the public eye as hers.

Your talent and passion had pierced through Jenna's carefully constructed walls, revealing a side of her that no one had ever seen.

It was an unexpected connection, but it was real, and it transformed Jenna in ways she had never imagined possible.

You were her age, having started singing at a tender age, your voice a gift that quickly became your solace.

From the early days of strumming a guitar in your bedroom to performing on small stages, your journey was one of both talent and resilience.

Your songs were deeply personal, often touching on themes of mental health, a reflection of your own struggles since your teenage years. The raw honesty in your lyrics resonated with many, turning your pain into a source of comfort for others.

Jenna admired you not just for your musical prowess but for your courage.

In a world where vulnerability was often masked, you stood as a beacon of authenticity. You spoke openly about your battles with anxiety and depression, both in your music and in interviews.

Your willingness to share your story in hopes of helping others, struck a chord with Jenna.

She saw in you a kindred spirit, someone who navigated the complexities of fame with a heart wide open, unafraid to show the scars that came with it.

The openness, the fearless confrontation of your inner demons, was what drew Jenna to you.

It was no surprise that the two of you had found each other, you were both well looking and had surprisingly more similarities than anybody would thought.

Your fame had skyrocketed over the years, just like hers had.

Sold-out arenas, chart-topping albums, and countless awards had become part of your daily reality.

You were recognized wherever you went, your face gracing the covers of magazines and your name trending on social media.

Just like Jenna; two of the biggest stars in the entertainment industry to end up together was something nobody had expected.

Despite your immense popularity, you remained grounded, always remembering the humble beginnings that shaped you.

The magnitude of your success was undeniable.

Fans across the globe found solace in your music, drawn to the sincerity of your lyrics and the powerful way you connected with your audience.

Your concerts were not just performances but communal experiences where people came together, united by the themes of your songs.

Interviews and talk shows frequently featured you, not only to discuss your latest projects but to delve into the deeper conversations about mental health that you championed.

Jenna couldn't help but be captivated by how you balanced the pressures of fame with an unwavering commitment.

It was this genuine openness, this ability to remain true to yourself amidst the chaos of fame, that drew Jenna to you like a magnet.

Despite your hectic schedules and the constant media attention, your relationship flourished in the quiet moments away from the spotlight.

There were times you often found yourself on set with her, quietly supporting her through long days of filming.

Whether it was bringing her coffee during early morning shoots or simply being there to listen during breaks, you made sure she knew you were always by her.

Likewise, Jenna joined you on tour, even if just few times. Those moments were rare but cherished, her presence bringing a sense of calm amidst the chaos of your busy life on the road.

She would watch from the wings as you performed, a proud smile on her face, supporting you in the way only she could.

At home, the connection between you two deepened in ways Jenna never had anticipated.

There were nights when she'd sit on the edge of the bed or curl up on the couch, watching you play your guitar and sing just for her.

The closeness of those moments, your voice soft and full of emotion, always sent a thrill through her.

More than once, she'd found herself unable to resist you, her desire building until she was straddling your lap, the vibrations of your music moving through her.

Which had ended up in her getting off on your thigh multiple times as you played, your voice serenading her into bliss.

Jenna loved you in a way she'd never loved anyone before. You were everything she didn't know she needed, the only person who truly understood her.

She often marveled at the thought that you were all hers, unable to fully grasp how someone as incredible as you had chosen her.

Whether you were strumming a guitar at home or belting out lyrics on stage, you captivated her completely.

You were the only one she wanted, the only one who made her feel this intensely.

When you performed was when all of those thoughts overflowed.

On stage, you were magnetic, your voice powerful and sultry, sending shivers down her spine. And when you danced, it was as if the music lived in your body, every movement fluid and mesmerizing.

Jenna couldn't take her eyes off you.

She adored the outfits you wore—revealing pieces that clung to your body, accentuating every curve.

She understood why you chose them; the heat from the lights and the crowd demanded something breathable, but there was no denying the allure they added to your presence.

She found your voice captivating, sexy almost, whether it was the soft croon she heard at home or the commanding, electrifying sound that filled arenas.

Each note you sang and every step you took drew her in deeper, reminding her that despite all the eyes on you, you were hers alone.

Jenna admired you fiercely. Every time she watched you perform, she fell a little more in love, unable to understand how she was lucky enough to have you.

The way you owned the stage, the way your voice and dancing wrapped around her heart, left her breathless.

She loved watching you perform. For reasons that went beyond the obvious.

It wasn't just for the music or the energy of the crowd. There was something deeper, more personal, in the way she observed you on stage.

How deeply you connected with your audience, but even more so by how much of yourself you gave in each performance.

She knew every movement, every note came from a place that only understood. And that knowledge made it all more thrilling.

But what really drove her wild was what came after.

The sex afterwards was incredible.

You'd come of stage, still pulsing with the energy of the performance, and she could feel the heat radiating off you.

The way you'd pull her close, your hands exploring as if you couldn't wait another second. Your touch demanding and urgent, made her knees weak.

Those nights, when you were still on fire from the adrenaline, were her favorite.

If something hadn't gone the way you wanted; a missed note, a technical glitch, or someone who'd pissed you off backstage — Jenna knew she was in for it.

You'd take that frustration and channel it directly into her, the way you'd push her against the wall, not wasting a second, your intensity making her shiver with anticipation.

She craved those moments, the way your hands would be rougher, your kisses hungrier. The way you'd take control, leaving her breathless and utterly consumed by you.

Jenna loved every second of it, the raw unapologetic need that you unleashed after a show.

It was the side of you that only she got to experience, and it was addictive.

After every show, after the adrenaline had faded and the passion between you two had cooled to a gentle warmth, it was the quiet moments that Jenna cherished the most.

Lying in bed together, your bodies tangled in the sheets, she would trace the lines of your face, marveling at how someone so fierce on stage could be so tender with her.

It was in those moments that she realized just how much she loved you—not just for the superstar the world saw, but for the person you were when it was just the two of you.

No matter how hectic your lives became, no matter the miles between sets and stages, the connection you shared remained unshakeable.

You both had your own worlds, your own battles to fight, but in each other, you found a refuge, a place where you could be completely yourselves.

And as she drifted off to sleep beside you, Jenna knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, nothing could change the way she felt.

You were a star, but more importantly, you were her star, and she wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

[genderkoolaid]

7 in 10 transgender people age 18-24 experience an eating disorder. These disorders are so pervasive in the LGBTQ community that the Biden administration earlier this month awarded a multi-million dollar grant to psychologists pioneering identity-affirming eating disorder treatment for LGBTQ people. Trans men experience even higher rates of eating disorders than their female counterparts and the highest rates of any demographic group, according to a 2023 study from the National Library of Medicine. Experts say trans people disproportionately struggle with eating disorders because they face body dysphoria, societal stigma, and a deep desire for control amidst a world that often feels hostile and invalidating. [...] “Most people assume those impacted are young, white, thin, and female. [But] only 6% of people who struggle with eating disorders are clinically underweight. When somebody who is not that model then has to navigate recovery in the real world, they're also having to navigate this landscape that doesn't see them as a person who is impacted.” Cisgender, white women are the most likely to be asked about eating disorders by their doctors and receive treatment. Men have reported struggling to feel understood by therapists, feeling unwanted in the treatment environment and that their concerns are not taken into account. This means a lot of men—and especially trans men—are left untreated. [...] Cyan found it easier to be open about his eating disorder when he was feminine presenting, but since he transitioned, he gets nervous talking about it. “I feel like it’s taken less seriously because I look like a man, and it’s more embarrassing to have to deal with it as a man. When I was considering my gender, I always thought men don't have to care about what they look like. But that was not the case.” Cyan says men are held to standards of fitness and “pressure to be strong in a certain way.” “There's a sense of fitness that is still expected when it comes to peak masculinity. It’s to be muscular and strong and I thought that’s what I needed to be.” [...] When trans men receive gender-affirming care, studies point to a reduction in eating disorder behaviors. Another 2019 study found that when gender is affirmed and gender dysphoria is reduced, eating disorder symptoms decrease.

I want to note that even though the study mentioned here is a meta-analysis, that doesn't mean it's perfect. A lot of the data it's drawing from had fairly small sample sizes. I don't think the takeaway here should be "trans men have it WORSE than trans women" because ultimately, what DOES seem pretty solid is that all trans people have higher rates of ED than cisgender men or women. And all trans people are vulnerable to the influence of misogyny in developing eating disorders. The takeaway is that transgender men are especially vulnerable to disordered eating, that should be discussed a lot more, and transmascs need ED recovery resources that take anti-transmasculinity into account and take it seriously. And also, free transitions for everybody forever.

[nondelphic]

nondelphic writing tips: writing while battling mental or physical health problems

hi lovelies! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ today’s post is something close to my heart, a gentle reminder for anyone out there writing while navigating mental or physical health struggles.

first of all, let me just say this: you are doing enough. whether you wrote a single sentence today, edited a paragraph, or just thought about your story while lying in bed, it counts. storytelling isn’t a race, and it’s okay if your pace doesn’t match the picture-perfect productivity you see online. writing isn’t linear. sometimes it’s messy, slow, or downright impossible—and that’s okay.

♡ your health comes first

writing is important, but it’s not more important than you. if you’re having a bad day, take a step back. rest. hydrate. stretch. it’s not 'wasting time'; it’s giving yourself the space to heal so you can come back stronger when you’re ready. stories can wait. your well-being can’t.

♡ the problem with “maximum productivity”

look, i get it. those productivity blogs and #grindset🔥🔥 posts can be so motivating on good days. but when you’re not at 100%, they can feel like a big flashing neon sign that says, “you’re not doing enough.” the truth? those posts aren’t made with your unique circumstances in mind. it’s not about meeting someone else’s standards. it’s about doing what you can with the energy you have.

writing isn’t about grinding 24/7. it’s about showing up when you can, even if 'showing up' just means opening your document and staring at it for five minutes. don’t let the pressure to constantly produce steal the joy of creating from you.

♡ small steps are still progress

on days when writing feels impossible, focus on the smallest step. write one line. brainstorm an idea. imagine a scene in your head. none of it is wasted effort, because all those tiny actions add up over time. remember, even the slowest progress is still progress.

♡ redefine success

success doesn’t have to mean finishing a chapter or hitting a word count. sometimes, success is choosing to rest when your body or mind needs it. sometimes, it’s acknowledging that you tried, even if all you could do was think about your story. give yourself credit for the effort, not just the outcome.

♡ a story in your heart is still a story

even if you’re not writing actively right now, your story still exists. it’s alive in your thoughts, your daydreams, and the little notes you scribble down. it’s okay if it takes you weeks, months, or even years to finish. storytelling is a marathon, not a sprint, and there’s no deadline on creativity.

♡ be kind to yourself

writing while battling health issues—whether physical or mental—isn’t just hard; it’s an act of resilience and i'm so proud of you! every word you write is a victory, no matter how small it feels. so please, be gentle with yourself. celebrate the little wins. forgive yourself for the tough days. your story is worth telling, but so are you.

remember: you don’t need to be perfect to be a writer. you just need to show up when you can, in whatever way you can. take care of yourself, okay? ♡(´꒳`)

happy writing (or resting, or dreaming, or just existing). all of it matters. ✿

[criticalcrusherbot]

Messy but Meaningful: Challenging Pop Psychology’s Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships in Fandom Spaces

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

The growing tendency in fandom spaces to apply pop-psychology frameworks to fictional relationships—such as Blitz and Stolas’s relationship in Helluva Boss—often oversimplifies the complexities of real-life human dynamics. While using psychological language to analyze media can deepen understanding, it can also lead to reductive and rigid interpretations of relationships. For the sake of argument, if Blitz and Stolas were real people, the expectation that both must be fully healed, emotionally stable, and entirely self-assured before engaging in a relationship reflects an unrealistic and idealized view of mental health and interpersonal growth.

The Myth of Complete Healing

One of the most common misconceptions in pop psychology is the belief that individuals must achieve complete emotional healing before they can engage in healthy relationships. This idea, while well-meaning, is rooted in an overly simplistic view of personal development. From a psychological perspective, healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Life circumstances, relationships, and personal challenges continually shape and reshape our mental and emotional landscapes.

Attachment theory, for example, suggests that relationships can be powerful arenas for healing. According to John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment dynamics are formed in early childhood but can be reshaped in adulthood through secure and supportive relationships. Blitz’s and Stolas’s relationship, though imperfect, demonstrates how mutual care and connection can provide opportunities for growth. Stolas’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and Blitz’s gradual acceptance of his feelings suggest that their bond is helping each of them confront their emotional barriers, even if they’re not “finished” healing.

Relationships as Sites of Growth

Instead of requiring complete emotional stability as a prerequisite for relationships, many psychological frameworks view relationships as places where healing and growth can occur. In Helluva Boss, Blitz and Stolas’s dynamic reflects this principle. Their relationship, while messy and fraught with misunderstandings, provides opportunities for them to confront their vulnerabilities and develop healthier patterns of intimacy.

This idea aligns with Carl Rogers’s humanistic approach to psychology, which emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering self-actualization. Rogers argued that empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are key ingredients for personal growth—and these qualities often emerge in relationships. While Blitz and Stolas struggle with these elements at times, their efforts to connect and communicate demonstrate a willingness to grow together.

The Role of Imperfection in Relationships

Pop-psychology discourse often pathologizes imperfection, labeling any relationship that involves conflict, miscommunication, or emotional baggage as “toxic.” However, conflict is not inherently harmful; it’s how individuals navigate and resolve conflict that determines the health of a relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marital stability highlights that even successful relationships involve conflict. The difference lies in whether partners approach disagreements with respect, empathy, and a willingness to repair after mistakes.

In the context of Blitz and Stolas, their struggles with power dynamics, vulnerability, and communication do not automatically render their relationship toxic. Rather, their willingness to acknowledge and address these issues—such as Stolas’s attempts to give Blitz more autonomy with the Asmodean crystal or Blitz’s growing emotional openness—suggests a dynamic that is evolving toward greater mutual understanding.

Realistic Expectations for Healing and Change

The expectation that adults must be fully healed and self-assured before entering relationships also neglects the reality that personal growth often occurs within relationships. Social learning theory emphasizes how individuals learn and adapt through observation and interaction. Relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting areas for growth and offering opportunities to practice new behaviors. For Blitz, his interactions with Stolas force him to confront his fear of vulnerability and his tendency to self-sabotage. For Stolas, being with Blitz challenges his understanding of intimacy and forces him to step beyond his royal privilege to engage in genuine emotional connection.

It’s also worth noting that personal growth is non-linear. Progress often involves setbacks, missteps, and moments of doubt. Relationships do not have to be perfect to be worthwhile or beneficial. The process of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connection.

Rejecting Pop-Psychology Absolutism

The pop-psychologization of fandom spaces often reduces complex dynamics to overly rigid binaries: healthy/unhealthy, secure/insecure, toxic/healing. While these frameworks can offer insights, they risk ignoring the nuance of real-life relationships. Humans are messy, imperfect, and constantly evolving—and so are their relationships. Holding fictional characters (or real people) to unrealistic standards of emotional perfection perpetuates an unhelpful narrative that growth must be completed in isolation, rather than as a collaborative process.

Blitz and Stolas exemplify the idea that relationships can be messy but meaningful. They are imperfect individuals navigating their own traumas and insecurities, yet they are also actively working toward better understanding themselves and each other. This dynamic reflects a more realistic and compassionate view of relationships, one that acknowledges growth as a shared journey rather than a prerequisite for connection.

Conclusion

Expecting individuals to achieve complete healing before engaging in relationships is both unrealistic and at odds with what we know about human development. Relationships, particularly those marked by care and effort, can serve as powerful spaces for growth, healing, and transformation. Blitz and Stolas’s evolving bond in Helluva Boss illustrates this beautifully, showing that imperfection does not preclude progress. By challenging the rigid expectations of pop psychology, we can embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships—both fictional and real—that values growth, vulnerability, and the shared journey of becoming better together.