#life after pain
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I’m scared because I’ve lived my life wanting to die most of the time, and now that I don’t ...
#fear of the unknown#newfound hope#life after darkness#emotional growth#navigating change#overcoming despair#personal transformation#healing journey#scared to live#rediscovering life#mental health awareness#embracing life#emotional struggle#self discovery#finding meaning#life after pain#coping with change#hope and fear#new beginnings#learning to live
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]
#zukka#zukka fanart#sokka#sokka fanart#zuko#zuko fanart#atla#atla fanart#avatar the last airbender#zukka fic rec#myart#yall. yall. dani. this FIC#first off it made me cry twice. not like 'oh im crying' internet speak no. like. eyes are too blurry to read let me stop this for a sec#it is SO GOOD#your prose? amazing#your insights on grief? life changing#THEM??? THEM their relationship and trust#'zuko looked at him and his world shifted on its axis'#ive been thinking about that line for WEEKS STRAIGHT#i can't tell you how many passages i screenshot just because of how beautiful or cute they were#the moment of seeing the painting of sokka's mom? how did you manage to make it so telling character wise--so sweet so PAINful AND so#cute with their relationship?!!?!#'oh so you think i'm beautiful too'#GOD#i had so many scenes i wanted to draw it was crazy#also#'Our loved ones leave impressions on us that can still impact our decisions and feelings even after they're gone'#fuck. had me crying AGAIN#seriously this fic is so wonderful and not just through a zukka lens. truly life changing you're an AMAZING writer#the fandom is so lucky to have you and i can't Believe it took me so long to get around to reading this masterpiece
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I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!
(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)
#I was 13 and mine was after spinal fusion surgery for scoliosis. T6-L4 fusion and when i woke up in spinal shock it was agonising pain#they had to give me ketamine before the pain died down and even then it was only 9/10#i was on a fentanyl drip for a few days afterwards and ever 5mins and 50sec id be dosing myself#my dad would take over my button while i was sleeping and set a timer on his watch to push it at those intervals#it was the only way i could rest as without it id wake up in blinding pain#definitely the hardest experience of my life. sometimes i forget that i went through that and came out the other side.#polls#chronic pain#disability#spoonie#cripple punk#cripplepunk#the tags ive chosen kinda skew the balance in favour of the yes but idk what else to tag it with.#it would be interesting to see if other disabled people have also had a 10/10 and how common that is
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT ALIEN STAGE WAS NOT JUST DOOMED YURI, BUT ALSO DOOMED YAOI?
#THIS IS ACTUALLY SO SICK AND TWISTED. EVERYONE WHO RECOMMENDED ALNST TO ME SHOULD KILL THEMSELVES.#YOU GUYS KNOW I AM WEAK TO THAT. CRITICAL EVEN.#ITS MY FATAL FLAW. MY ACHILLES HEEL.#MIZISUA MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELFFF I AM NEVER EVER RECOVERING FROM THIS WHAT THE FUCK#ALSO?????????#IVAN AND TILL????????????? HELLO SCREAMINGG WHAT THE FUCK /GEN#WORST LOVE CIRCLE(?) IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE ITS LIKE THE PAIN NEVER FUCKING ENDS#THIS WAS TRULY OUR ALIEN STAGE#anyway#no one will ever hear from me after the bonus round because i'll either kill luka myself or mizi will kill him and i will die from happines#alnst
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Do you think Grian spends his nights away from Gem and Joel, risking his lives just so he can sit in between Skizz and Mumbo’s headstones. He wraps Mumbo’s half exploded jacket around his shoulders and tugs gently on Skizz’s tie that he’s wrapped around his neck, not tied, but just there. He lets the howling wind pass over him, content to just sit peacefully by the graves where the bodies, one fresher and less mangled than the other, lay underneath the disturbed dirt.
In a moment of delusion, he thinks he can hear Skizz’s laughter up the hill by the Bamboozlers, maybe Mumbo calling his name from one of their odd bridges. And for that moment of hallucination, he smiles and just sits, just as he has time and time again, doomed to repeat himself.
#life series#traffic smp#life series smp#trafficblr#grian#mumbo jumbo#mumbo#skizzleman#the spanners#sub 1 club#wild life#wild life smp#guys I don’t think I’m ok right now#I think I may be losing my mind#he’s alone again :(#after what game do you think he stopped crying over his allies and started to mask his sadness#personally I’m saying Limited Life when the curse was initially solidified#he switched to the Neighbours like it didn’t pain him when he saw their sunglasses waiting for him on top of their graves#sorry#I’m like#not ok rn (jk this is my equivalent to alcoholism)
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sometimes i don't have any funny hcs to share but i wanna yap anyways so here's some about back pain and toothache:
dexter gets back pain. his habit of reading books while slouching does not help this. he'd be as tall as daring if he worked on his posture more
melody realizes she'll get hearing problems in the future since she tends to blast her headphones at full volume. she's working on it (not really)
she thinks sparrow has this problem too but doesn't notice or doesn't care
faybelle has her wisdom teeth coming out. she's too busy with her insane load of extracurriculars and she's not willing to fall behind on any of them so she can't schedule time for them to be taken out and enough recovery time. she just suffers through it and when it hurts, she gets extra mean
(she's also a dark fairy who DOES NOT want help from a tooth fairy yuck)
justine and duchess are both very graceful, but they both have that one ankle that they twisted when they were young that never felt the same way before they got twisted. for duchess it's her right ankle and justine it's her left. they both joke that they'll give the other their 'never have been twisted' ankle before an important performance.
daring and darling's hands tend to swell/bruise/get cut a lot after sword practice. darling always trained in secret, so she treated herself in secret too so her treatment it isn't perfect. after dragon games, daring taught her how to properly wrap her fingers and hands and the right ointment and salves to reduce scars
cedar and briar both have joint problems. cedar bc she's made of wood and she tends to get stiff joints. briar bc her condition means she's prone to fall asleep anywhere and sometimes she sleeps in uncomfortable positions. they do their stretching routines after waking up and before going to bed. cedar's does her routine the most while briar tends to skip doing hers sometimes.
#ever after high#eah#darling charming#briar beauty#faybelle thorn#cedar wood#duchess swan#daring charming#dexter charming#melody piper#sparrow hood#justine dancer#eah headcanons#REMINDER FOR EVERYONE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODY#i have chronic pain which i try to manage but sometimes life is hard#also im so faybelle rn#if i sleep on it maybe my wisdom teeth will go away
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more gym motivation for those in desperate need
#oscarchive#new tag for old content to prevent confusion#the song in the og clip sucked so enjoy my manwhore taste#waist. ass. back. chest. knotted eyebrows in pain. yeaaa yea.#god as my witness im going nowhere nice after this life#oscar piastri#gymoscar#repost bc the rdl clip was begging to be slowed down
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#here Edwin is completely thinking about Charles or maybe about his life but most probably he was thinking about Charles#that how he loves Charles and Charles love him but not in that way#the way his expression change after Niko's lines#and he also touched the Cat King 's bracelet before touching his neck#dead boy detectives#edwin paine#edwin payne#charles rowland#niko sasaki#chedwin#painland#paynland#crystal palace#george rexstrew#deadboydetectivesedit#jayden revri#kassius nelson#yuyu kitamura#monty the crow#monty
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I implore you to imagine their anime voices here. /out of context wip from the narumitsu comic 💙❤️ PS. I'm going to post the wips on ko-fi first, as I don't need to care about the time to post stuff, so if you want to see them as soon as they're posted... -> here
#ace attorney#narumitsu#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#wrightworth#periwinkla#periwinkla wips#you know - the reason I love them is of course because they inspire each other and make the other better and stuff#but after that - it's because they're both the most lovable goofs that have ever goofed seriously they're too precious#the guy with the poker face that can say whatever with a straight face if he so wishes#and the other guy who is basically *done* with anyone he meets because everyone he meets is a piece of work#you know- it started by befriending larry and phoenix and it kinda snowballed from there#I mean Phoenix has Trucy Apollo and Athena who basically take care of the agency for him - but Edgeworth?#he has to bear with the weirdos of the prosecutor's office - you feel his pain?#he's done but also- he's resigned to his fate#and has partnered for life with the biggest piece of work there is
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Death Loves No One
Cause if he did he'd want to keep them forever
After obtaining the title as Ghost King and losing all his family, Danny started to feel lonely. He had friends, ghosts that would stay for eternity by his side but it wasn't the same. Danny felt that his personal connections were what kept him sane, the evenings with Clockwork calmed him down, but it wasn't the same calm that Jazz used to provide.
So, when he was given the title of Equilibrium it wasn't really a big deal. It was just another title among a thousand others, Clockwork advised him to visit earth to discover his purpose but also warned him that he would not look human.
Danny accepted it but didn't take it seriously, he couldn't help but get scared when people started screaming around him. He wasn't doing anything weird, he was visiting the cemetery, his family's graves, but everyone was running away scared.
He realized that since he lost Jazz (the last one to leave) he no longer looked human. He wondered if it was possible that someone might be interested in talking to him but dismissed it. Some people began to nickname him "Death" because all he did was stay in the cemetery.
That's why it was extremely rare to find a boy calling him every day and making a small talk, he became attached to the boy. The boy would visit different graves but always stayed to talk to him, never yelled, or called him a bad name. Danny couldn't help but love him the same way he loved his family.
He wasn't surprised that the boy died soon after (knowing him brought misfortune didn't it?), but he never stopped visiting the cemetery. So, when the boy rose from his grave completely disoriented, Danny wondered if it was somehow his fault.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#Danny lost his family#he felt cursed after it#as if everything around him is destined to die faster#his family did not stay as ghosts because they were at peace#Danny never was#His lack of contact with people made him less human#because the halfa began to forget how to be human during his pain#and his core reacted to his emotions#changing his appearance#dc x dp#dp x dc#Jason was the one who visited the cemetery#he liked to leave flowers for his mother#and Danny never scared him because Jason always thought death was kind#and maybe too lonely#Danny wonders if the fact that he became attached to Jason led to his earlier death#or to a half-life like his#he's not supposed to love after all
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Hi ranchers community ............... i am thinking about them
#im posting so muchhh cause if i dont post after i finish the drawing ill never post#i loove you angst ranchers i love you uncontrollable emotional outburts and hurt/comfort#i love you jimmy felt so much pain that it doesnt matter#love you tango so crazy but so caring#anyway#team rancher#double life#double life smp#tangotek#tango tek#solidaritygaming#trafficshipping#forgot to tag that srry#i mean it doesnt have to be but to me it is#mine#Wooow ty guys for the notes on this one too ;; wtf#ddocson hits
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zuko alone pt 2
lovingly inspired by this [ids in alt]
#zuko#sokka#zukka#zukka fanart#myart#sokka leaving aka the light in zukos life leaving#i imagine this is right before a confession but something happens and sokka decides to go home permanently and they both can't say how they#feel even though it's almost understood because it's too painful#when i first drafted this sokka's hair wasn't nearly as long but then i got carried away because of canon long haired sokka#after i drafted this i actually came up with a longer form one that's more faithful to the inspiration so maybe i'll do that someday.#where they're actually dating already but the love just. isn't enough for their duty#drawing sokka without his necklace is weird. like he's nakey#sokka fanart#atla fanart#atla#avatar the last airbender#can this be divorced zukka if they were never together? tagging anyway in case people have angst blocked#divorced zukka
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(SPOILERS!)
content warning ⚠️ subtle implications of assault.
yes, i am still not sold with the sequel.
i do agree that ‘double exposure has an interesting plot and new characters AND it could’ve been written better or it didn’t include max at all to sell the game’ can still exist in the same sentence.
but i have to admit that this video i stumbled upon tiktok today exploring max’s trauma back in the first game was beautifully made and devastating to witness at the same time. (i refuse to watch the whole scene because i personally think it’s so corny, i might take back my statement.)
hannah’s performance as max—especially when she is raising her voice; breaking out from her “shy, nerdy, camera geek” person that she constantly boxes herself in—always sends a chill down to my spine.
this is the same girl who watched her best friend get killed in the junkyard and was also drugged during that process, who had to hold the burden of knowing almost every single female student in blackwell is also a victim of the professor he looked up to, who had to rely on no one but her destructive rewinding powers at the age of eighteen, reliving it all over again after how many years.
“no, no... never again!”
“once is all you get!”
my heart breaks so much for you. i love you, max caufield. 🦋
i just hope that the deck nine developers treat you and chloe price better in the next game.
#the pain of realizing that you weren’t healing after all#you were just Surpressing Them 🫵#i love you max caufield!!!!!! i’m your number one shooter 🔫 💥#life is strange#life is strange double exposure#life is strange: double exposure#life is strange de#life is strange: de#life is strange before the storm#max caufield#chloe price#rachel amber#kate marsh#victoria chase#nathan presscott#mark jefferson#safiya llewellyn fayyad#moses murphy#amanda thomas#vinh lang#pricefield#amberprice#amberpricefield#deck nine games#decknine games#life is strange 2#life is strange true colors#life is strange tc#life is strange: true colors#life is strange: tc
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