#life after pain
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I’m scared because I’ve lived my life wanting to die most of the time, and now that I don’t ...
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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Burning Rotten Bridges
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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corpsentry · 5 months ago
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a glass sun 1/2
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petricorah · 9 months ago
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scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]
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walking-loather · 1 year ago
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I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!
(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)
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tea-cat-arts · 7 months ago
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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lotus-pear · 2 months ago
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WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT ALIEN STAGE WAS NOT JUST DOOMED YURI, BUT ALSO DOOMED YAOI?
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thatstoomanysausages · 29 days ago
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Do you think Grian spends his nights away from Gem and Joel, risking his lives just so he can sit in between Skizz and Mumbo’s headstones. He wraps Mumbo’s half exploded jacket around his shoulders and tugs gently on Skizz’s tie that he’s wrapped around his neck, not tied, but just there. He lets the howling wind pass over him, content to just sit peacefully by the graves where the bodies, one fresher and less mangled than the other, lay underneath the disturbed dirt.
In a moment of delusion, he thinks he can hear Skizz’s laughter up the hill by the Bamboozlers, maybe Mumbo calling his name from one of their odd bridges. And for that moment of hallucination, he smiles and just sits, just as he has time and time again, doomed to repeat himself.
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champion-of-love · 2 months ago
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sometimes i don't have any funny hcs to share but i wanna yap anyways so here's some about back pain and toothache:
dexter gets back pain. his habit of reading books while slouching does not help this. he'd be as tall as daring if he worked on his posture more
melody realizes she'll get hearing problems in the future since she tends to blast her headphones at full volume. she's working on it (not really)
she thinks sparrow has this problem too but doesn't notice or doesn't care
faybelle has her wisdom teeth coming out. she's too busy with her insane load of extracurriculars and she's not willing to fall behind on any of them so she can't schedule time for them to be taken out and enough recovery time. she just suffers through it and when it hurts, she gets extra mean
(she's also a dark fairy who DOES NOT want help from a tooth fairy yuck)
justine and duchess are both very graceful, but they both have that one ankle that they twisted when they were young that never felt the same way before they got twisted. for duchess it's her right ankle and justine it's her left. they both joke that they'll give the other their 'never have been twisted' ankle before an important performance.
daring and darling's hands tend to swell/bruise/get cut a lot after sword practice. darling always trained in secret, so she treated herself in secret too so her treatment it isn't perfect. after dragon games, daring taught her how to properly wrap her fingers and hands and the right ointment and salves to reduce scars
cedar and briar both have joint problems. cedar bc she's made of wood and she tends to get stiff joints. briar bc her condition means she's prone to fall asleep anywhere and sometimes she sleeps in uncomfortable positions. they do their stretching routines after waking up and before going to bed. cedar's does her routine the most while briar tends to skip doing hers sometimes.
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girldriveroscar · 1 month ago
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more gym motivation for those in desperate need
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edwin--charles · 7 months ago
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periwinkla · 4 months ago
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I implore you to imagine their anime voices here. /out of context wip from the narumitsu comic 💙❤️ PS. I'm going to post the wips on ko-fi first, as I don't need to care about the time to post stuff, so if you want to see them as soon as they're posted... -> here
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nelkcats · 1 year ago
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Death Loves No One
Cause if he did he'd want to keep them forever
After obtaining the title as Ghost King and losing all his family, Danny started to feel lonely. He had friends, ghosts that would stay for eternity by his side but it wasn't the same. Danny felt that his personal connections were what kept him sane, the evenings with Clockwork calmed him down, but it wasn't the same calm that Jazz used to provide.
So, when he was given the title of Equilibrium it wasn't really a big deal. It was just another title among a thousand others, Clockwork advised him to visit earth to discover his purpose but also warned him that he would not look human.
Danny accepted it but didn't take it seriously, he couldn't help but get scared when people started screaming around him. He wasn't doing anything weird, he was visiting the cemetery, his family's graves, but everyone was running away scared.
He realized that since he lost Jazz (the last one to leave) he no longer looked human. He wondered if it was possible that someone might be interested in talking to him but dismissed it. Some people began to nickname him "Death" because all he did was stay in the cemetery.
That's why it was extremely rare to find a boy calling him every day and making a small talk, he became attached to the boy. The boy would visit different graves but always stayed to talk to him, never yelled, or called him a bad name. Danny couldn't help but love him the same way he loved his family.
He wasn't surprised that the boy died soon after (knowing him brought misfortune didn't it?), but he never stopped visiting the cemetery. So, when the boy rose from his grave completely disoriented, Danny wondered if it was somehow his fault.
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ddocson · 2 years ago
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Hi ranchers community ............... i am thinking about them
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petricorah · 2 years ago
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zuko alone pt 2
lovingly inspired by this [ids in alt]
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theblue-hairedarcadian · 2 months ago
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(SPOILERS!)
content warning ⚠️ subtle implications of assault.
yes, i am still not sold with the sequel.
i do agree that ‘double exposure has an interesting plot and new characters AND it could’ve been written better or it didn’t include max at all to sell the game’ can still exist in the same sentence.
but i have to admit that this video i stumbled upon tiktok today exploring max’s trauma back in the first game was beautifully made and devastating to witness at the same time. (i refuse to watch the whole scene because i personally think it’s so corny, i might take back my statement.)
hannah’s performance as max—especially when she is raising her voice; breaking out from her “shy, nerdy, camera geek” person that she constantly boxes herself in—always sends a chill down to my spine.
this is the same girl who watched her best friend get killed in the junkyard and was also drugged during that process, who had to hold the burden of knowing almost every single female student in blackwell is also a victim of the professor he looked up to, who had to rely on no one but her destructive rewinding powers at the age of eighteen, reliving it all over again after how many years.
“no, no... never again!”
“once is all you get!”
my heart breaks so much for you. i love you, max caufield. 🦋
i just hope that the deck nine developers treat you and chloe price better in the next game.
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