#natashas fucked up

[marzipanandminutiae]

I don't go here but uh

me: oh no so all the Black Widows had ovary-removing hysterectomies? are they on HRT, since they need to be conventionally attractive, conventionally feminine women and there's a risk of hormone changes compromising that? they also have increased danger of bone density loss, mood swings, pelvic organ prolapse, sexual dysfunction...you're going to get into that right? because I fully believe that a secret Soviet assassin factory would do involuntary, unnecessary hysterectomies, but they'd also want their Sexy Assassins at peak Sexy Assassin performance. and even the women who've gotten out probably don't want to deal with those symptoms if they come up. so are we going to see Natasha taking estrogen, or...?

Marvel: no, they just can't :( have babies :( and by the way they sometimes think they're monsters because of that :( but that's all a hysterectomy does and we would know because we are very smart cis men!!!!

[teampuppycat]

they would be bffs i think

[send-me-a-puffalope]

just watched the new ghostbusters movie with my friend and truly, awkward teenage lesbians will both end and save the world.

[crumbleclub]

michael: do i really have trauma, though?

jeremy: dude. your dad is literally a serial killer

michael: yeah, but he didn't serial kill me

[diadotcom]

when u and ur bestie (rival) are gay lovers

[one-lucky-day]

oh to be a Billy Maximoff fan and NOT be an MCU!Wanda ass kisser...I mean apologist. 😞

It's hard.

[cluescorner]

I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc

[imavikingo]

Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.

They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)

It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.

And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc

(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.

I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"

No.

I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?

No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.

That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)

Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.

Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!

I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif

"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER

Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.

It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.

So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.

**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))

or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.

But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"

Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.

The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.

"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.

Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: Short people are without a doubt the least threatening kinds of people. Honestly, what could they do to me? They can’t even reach me. Natasha: Say goodbye to your kneecaps motherfucker.

[slightlycomicobsessed]

... Ok what's going on with Black Widow lore stuff. The clones and Yelena X Nat etc? I'm like, really curious about Black Widow too but I know literally nothing that isn't the MCU

Okay so. Her comics (and her lore) are complicated, so let me summarize. To be very, very, brief, Natasha was raised in the Red Room in Soviet Russia during around WWI times, and she was given a modified version of the super soldier serum that gave her enhanced durability, healing, etc. For the clones, basically, during Secret Empire Natasha was killed, but then in the comics right after (in the 2017 Tales Of Suspence run), she appeared again, alive. Which was weird, because she had suffered a very public and real death. So, it turned out that the Red Room had kept "backups" of all of their Black Widows and their memories (in 616 there was only one class of about a dozen Black Widows rather than the huge scale in the BW movie). Basically, they were cloning all of the original Black Widows

with Yelena x Nat, it's just a comic ship that's fun to play around with. it's not canon but they have a lot of sexual tension and have a proven hate/love dynamic (Yelena basically spent her whole life trying to live up to Natasha and become as good as her/try to be better than her but never was). Yelena was the "next generation" of Black Widows and she despises Natasha for being better than her to the point she hunts her down. I don't feel like pulling up all the examples of their sexual tension but this should suffice:

Oh yeah, there was also that time where Natasha made the both of them undergo plastic surgery and (non-conseually) swap their identities and caused Yelena to have a mental breakdown/Identity crisis :)

[itsalmostavengers]

We should all be less nervous about writing characters to be assholes I think.

[faksyan]

Want to actually write out my idea of why John isn't Snake's real name now because I remembered about it yesterday and it's awesome. Like that would've made it an actual cool narrative decision that has some meaning instead of whatever the Jack/John thing is. Holding mgs names to any real-life standards to begin with is kind of wild tbh but to each their own. why is he named Adamska can anyone tell me where that's from (it's nowhere they made it up). who is Nastasha why is it spelled like that (they made that up too. babynames.com or whatever might tell you it's real and they're LYING). Shoot Gunner.

[annabelle--cane]

hurting me. hurting me. toby whithouse showrunner of being human uk and sarah dollard writer of episode 5.05 "no care all responsibility" you are hurting me. why did you do this to me personally.

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

possessive!natasha who glares at anyone who dares even look in the direction of her girlfriend. flirty!wanda who only has eyes for her, but likes to rile natasha up sometimes so she flirts with the barista as they wait in line for their morning coffee. as soon as they get home, natasha fucks her rough with the biggest strap she owns while sucking dark hickeys all over wanda's neck, before kissing her softly and murmuring in that raspy low voice of hers, "now everyone will know that you're mine."

[valeffelees]

only bad thing about being in a fandom where one of the characters canonically has wings is the painful lack of classic wingfic. where is my everything's the same but people have bird wings watford au where one day baz notices simon hasn't been grooming his wings bc of an injury to his ribs so he sits on his bed and makes a whole fuss about how "i'm not doing this to be nice, snow, your wings are just a travesty to look at" and then proceeds to carefully and lovingly tidy his feathers in drawn out silence while they both pretend grooming someone else's wings isn't one of the most intimate things you can do for another person. will this heartbreak never end

[pardonmydelays]

listening to my broadway playlist and dust and ashes is playing now