#if i missed anything my mutuals are free to add stuff in

[slightlycomicobsessed]

... Ok what's going on with Black Widow lore stuff. The clones and Yelena X Nat etc? I'm like, really curious about Black Widow too but I know literally nothing that isn't the MCU

Okay so. Her comics (and her lore) are complicated, so let me summarize. To be very, very, brief, Natasha was raised in the Red Room in Soviet Russia during around WWI times, and she was given a modified version of the super soldier serum that gave her enhanced durability, healing, etc. For the clones, basically, during Secret Empire Natasha was killed, but then in the comics right after (in the 2017 Tales Of Suspence run), she appeared again, alive. Which was weird, because she had suffered a very public and real death. So, it turned out that the Red Room had kept "backups" of all of their Black Widows and their memories (in 616 there was only one class of about a dozen Black Widows rather than the huge scale in the BW movie). Basically, they were cloning all of the original Black Widows

with Yelena x Nat, it's just a comic ship that's fun to play around with. it's not canon but they have a lot of sexual tension and have a proven hate/love dynamic (Yelena basically spent her whole life trying to live up to Natasha and become as good as her/try to be better than her but never was). Yelena was the "next generation" of Black Widows and she despises Natasha for being better than her to the point she hunts her down. I don't feel like pulling up all the examples of their sexual tension but this should suffice:

Oh yeah, there was also that time where Natasha made the both of them undergo plastic surgery and (non-conseually) swap their identities and caused Yelena to have a mental breakdown/Identity crisis :)

[writella]

hi, sweetie! Hope you’re doing well. I just had the cutest thought that I wanted to share. And maybe if you want to add on to it as a drabble or something please feel free:) if not, then please just enjoy todays shower thoughts lol.

I’m thinking about a friends with benefits! reader and Daryl who find themselves travelling by canoe for whatever reason. And how they might get into some petty argument or even play fight that ends with them flipping the boat and the two of them just stand in the water, soaking wet and staring blankly at eachother with disappointment. Bangs sticking to your both your foreheads as the canoe slowly floats down the river along with all your dignity.

Take care! xoxo

Rocking the Boat

Synopsis: Daryl has been back home for weeks; the first attack against the Sanctuary is complete; Alexandria, the Kingdom, and the Hilltop are on their way to freedom; but nothing is the same as it was, especially not with you and Daryl. Maybe a house boat side quest will break the ice, or really, make some waves.

Details: This is set during the beginning of season 8, it includes violence, smut, a fwb relationship but feelings are involved, mutual pining, a little bit of switch Daryl and reader, and some sweetness because I think it’s just my thing at this point. ♡

A/N + Response: Hello, lovely miss T ♡ what a fun idea!! I love the imagery you set with the canoe tipping over, especially the bangs so cute— it was one of my favorite parts to write here! This is probably a bit unrealistic and much longer than I intended, so I think I might consider this a full one-shot as well as a concept, and… it’s also a bit sad? Just a little until we get to the good stuff, I promise ;) Anyway I hope you like it; let me know what you think!!

Daryl sat on Rick’s porch, his back against the poles, reloading his guns as you sped up the steps, “I think we should go back to the boats. Now.” Your voice was hurried, you had run all the way from your house, but he didn't even look up at you.

“Why would we do somethin’ stupid like that?” His voice was low, and annoyed. You didn’t expect to be greeted kindly, but at least he sounded like anything other than emotionless to you since the first time you saw him again; since the time he escaped the Sanctuary.

“There’s no one there. I saw it before I got back home. There were people with guns sitting outside the first time we saw it, but now there aren't.”

“A couple of guns ain’t gonna help us.”

“There had to have been a reason they were guarding it before.” Your words were urgent and your eyes pleaded for him to look up. “Any amount of guns could make the difference, Daryl. You know that.” You stare at him, waiting for nothing as he doesn’t respond. “Did you and Rick even find anything before you got back?” You cross your arms, “Cause it doesn’t look like it. And I think I just did.”

You had gotten separated from the group after the first attack against the Sanctuary: you ran without thinking, just trying to get away from the army of walkers stampeding the place. Straying off the usual path to Alexandria, you accidentally reencountered a place you and Daryl only saw once before. It was a time before Negan, before the Saviors. But now, remembering their jackets, and their weapons, and how their bikes looked parked at the shore, you realized those were three Savior cabin boats— fairly sized, a bit rusty, they had a shack like feel, but it was big enough to stand and sleep in. Maybe something of use could be in there, and at least it was something to do while you waited for the final attack.

Similar to Rosita and Michonne, you also got hurt by the scavengers— day zero of the war, when Sasha died— but the girls left you here, they didn’t even tell you they were going, you didn’t even see them leave. But you needed to get out too; you needed to help. “I’m going with or without you.” Your anger started bubbling at his indifference, “And I saw you talking to Tara, I know you’re planning something, so if you want to go off with her and complete your idiot side plan-”

“You’re the one with the dumbass plan.”

“- then that’s fine!” You glare at him, his eyes still so evasive, it infuriates you. “My objective is to find more weapons, before the final attack.” You lied, you both knew your objective was to rest before the final attack, “So I’m gonna go do that.”

You begin to walk briskly. You knew he was going to try to stop you. You knew he was going to come with you when he realized, yet again, he couldn’t stop you, or… you hoped he couldn’t… Sometimes you forget how much stronger he is than you. You had a smart mouth and you knew how to get a reaction out of him, or at least you did in the past, but he could pinned you down with one hand, making you completely immobile— it’s happened before. The thought makes you walk faster, heading for the nearest car. You were trying to make a point although you weren’t sure what it was. You were just tired of sitting around, tired of his treatment— mistreatment, actually. You knew he had reason to act curtly, what he went through was unspeakable, but you were still there for him, waiting, but he never came to you. Not even late at night. Not even to simply sleep.

Just as you’re about to reach the car you feel his hand wrap around your arm, you almost let it yank you. Your breath is a heavy mix of fear and excitement as he does so. Maybe you finally got something out of him. Maybe you still have it. Maybe you still have him. “We don’t got time for this,” he hissed. Then his jaw clenched, it almost looked like he was chewing on something, “but you’re forgetting the boat.”

“It’s a canoe.” You were pushing it with the retort, he was coming.

He grunts as he lets go of your arm, it slapping down to your side. You wait for him by the car as he retrieves the canoe and paddles from one of the house garages. You guys had found it a long while ago, never knowing when it would be of use. That time was now.

The ride toward the waterfront was irritable and depressing to say the least. You wanted to be around Daryl, you wanted to stop him from going off plan with Tara, but most importantly, you just wanted to talk to him; finally and for once. You all were on the biggest missions of your life, in the biggest war of your life… who knows where your fates would lie after this, but he has yet to say anything to you that didn’t involve fighting the Saviors, and even with that, he didn’t say much. He wanted to win. He was ready to do it fast. Whatever it took. That was all.

He kept shifting in his seat, short, low grunts coming out of the side of his mouth— he didn’t want to do this right now, but he knew you were just as stubborn as him, especially when it came to him. As dumb as he felt this was, it wasn’t time for another person he cares about to get hurt.

“Stop fuming,” you muttered.

He snapped back, barking your name, “We’re in a war! We could be doin’ better things right now and got me here for what?”

“Maybe so you don’t kill people we need alive right now?” You were talking about Dwight, you did more than just see Daryl talking to Tara.

His following grunt truly said typical. “You always got your nose where it don’t belong.”

You ignore him, “We should follow Rick’s plan.”

He shakes his head, ignoring you this time. He’s tired of talking about this. He’s going to go on the boat, see if there’s weapons, get Tara, and use whatever you two find to complete his own plan at the Sanctuary. This needs to be done.

“At least it’s a little over 5 miles off the out-post the Kingdom took out,” you reason, “that must be why no one is there anymore.”

Still no response. Typical, it’s your turn to think it. You let go of talking to him for now. The rest of the drive was silent as well as when you get to your destination, starting to put the canoe on water.

You look at the three small, now unguarded, boats. Only one bike was by the land and there was blood splattered on the middle house, the biggest one. Maybe the Kingdom took out the guy that was there, but there were no boats or canoes around, no way for someone to get close enough inside.

You two get in, starting to row. “There better be somethin’ good in there,” Daryl huffed. You hoped so too. Uncertainty started filling in with the reality of your awful plan. There really could be nothing in there and you really could have spent your day doing something that mattered to the cause. If these boats held anything important, why wasn’t a Savior there already? But even worse, the realization that you were acting out of desperation just because Daryl had been acting so cold… felt even more terrible.

You knew Daryl was scarred, far more than before and you were trying to be patient. You were going to let him come to you. You knew he needed time, and he was at the Kingdom for a little bit anyway, hiding out from Negan. You couldn’t even talk to him if you wanted to because of that. But now you had been planning that first attack for weeks, you were sleeping in the same place together again, but not in the same room, not touching. And again, you understood why, but then again… you didn’t. It was so hard to gain his trust, for him to open up to you, you thought that was something you gained for keeps; but now he wasn’t even allowing you to have a friendship anymore, let alone this in-between relationship you used to have. It made you upset how much power you realized you let him have over you. You missed him so much, and now you weren’t even sure if he missed you back, or if he had reason to. Maybe it was just a fling after all.

War feels long, but it’s only a short time in truth. Nonetheless, a short time that can define who you are thereafter. This could be him, and maybe it always was. And this could be how you two will always be. Forever.

You decide to break the silence again as you row, your thoughts becoming insufferable: “That’s actually not the right technique,” you stutter, “if- if you’re curious.” You start to row based on what you taught yourself, the canoe going just a bit faster now, “I read it in a book from Deana’s old library.”

“So you read somethin’ in a book and now you think you know everything?” His eyes were annoyed. “Hmph.”

Your voice raises, “Well just because you’re so experienced in the wilderness or whatever doesn’t mean you know everything either.”

“I’m doin’ it fine.” He wasn’t. “You don’t even know how to swim.” You didn’t. “So maybe just be glad you ain’t dying today.”

You repeat yourself, “Still- doesn’t- mean- you know how to do everything… You expect me to think Merle took you canoeing? Of all things?” You cock your head, “Pretty sure he was out finding the next score.” You knew it was a low blow to bring up the dead brother, but you were upset. No talking and now insults? You could be cold too, even colder, even if you didn’t like it.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up!”

Then you screamed. A walker with gills, swimming in the water approached your boat behind Daryl. Your voice made him turn around to see it. You take your paddle to try to stab it in the head, but the walker’s hands are along the canoe rim, coming closer to you, it makes you accidently hit Daryl with your swing. “Oh- Sorry!”

“Fuck!” He yelled.

“I’m sorry!” A realization comes, “Is this the guy?”

“If it was he’s been dead for a while.” Daryl shouts, taking out his gun and you take out your knife. He’s trying to shoot the walker in the head, it’s closer to your side now. But you’re thrashing and water is flying while you try to jab them in the head with your knife. The walker has one of your arms and you’re trying to pry it away with the hand that has the knife. Neither of you have a clear shot at getting the thing, all three of you rocking the canoe far too much.

“Stay still!” He yells at you.

“Im trying!” You shout with the same force, the same annoyance, “He’s not making it easy, Daryl!”

Daryl has a chance to shoot the walker in the stomach, and he takes it, but it does nothing. The walker’s hands on you do not quit. The two of you just keep yelling at each other, riling the walker up. You can hear the biting sounds they’re making near your arm.

He shoots again, but you and the walker are still moving too much and Daryl’s loosing balance. The walker is tipping the canoe with their hands, water splashing inside. The next bullet goes into the wood, making a hole.

Their starving mouth continues to try to bite at you. You pull using all your strength to get their mouth away, trying to use your other hand to slice into their head. You two have never seen a walker like this: they can swim and they’re so strong.

Water now fills the boat from the hole as Daryl moves forward on the canoe, pushing your head, his hand quite literally covering your whole face to shove you out of the way, getting a clear shot at the walker and firing at their head. He clicks twice: Boom. Boom. Guts and water fly everywhere.

The splashing of the water and the firing of his gun overwhelms all your senses. The weight of Daryl is on your side now, neither of you have balance; both your weights pull the canoe over the edge as it flips over entirely with you under it.

You scream, but your voice is muffled. You thrash around, trying to use what little experience you have. You come above water for a few seconds, wailing, and Daryl grabs you.

“Hey- Hey- Hey!” his words snap, rough like barks until he gets you to look at him, gripping your face so it’s forward. “It’s okay,” he’s breathing almost as heavy as you are. His voice becomes even now, “It’s okay.” You realize he has you in his arms— it really was okay.

Feeling he might make a comment about you almost drowning, you force yourself to speak through water filled lungs, “Don’t. Say it.”

So he didn’t. He just holds you tight, you even feel his thumbs squeezing into you at the waist now, and through half lidded eyes, you see his arms tense, working hard to make sure you never fall, but it’s at a half arm's length, his elbows bent. You blink rapidly, your wet eyelashes still flapping shut until you’re able to open them better. You can see Daryl more clearly now.

You try to swipe some of the hair out of your face. The baby hairs at the crown of your forehead stayed slick in place while some parts of your hair started to lightly form your wave or curl pattern, but in all, you were absolutely drenched.

Your hands now hold onto his forearms just as tight as his below. It was one of those rare moments where you remember just how blue his eyes are. Their narrow shape and the way his hair lays always hides them away. But the sun was behind you, casting its light directly on him and his hair was now slick to his head as well: only some of it resting on his forehead.

If someone were to describe Daryl’s looks, they would probably say something typical like dark and rugged. They don’t see what you see. God, you forgot how uniquely handsome he was.

His hair changed colors in the light, it wasn’t as dark brown anymore, flecks of it were a more golden brown in the sun. And you loved the mole that was just above his lip and facial hair. Almost no one else in the group had something like that. And now, there was the way his button down stuck onto his skin. The color was dark enough that it wasn’t see-through, but you saw every indent, every line of his bicep and tricep as you looked at his arms, trying to avoid his face, trying to avoid his chest or anywhere lower.

On the other hand, Daryl was trying even harder to avoid looking at your soaked body, failing even worse. His eyes couldn’t help but linger on how your chest huffed as you tried to catch your breath. Your collarbones are now exposed as your shirt slides down just a bit further, the light color almost see through because of the water, and your bra didn’t help much either. It was one of those without the padding, it was the only one that fit— your supplies, food and wearable, clean clothing, were running dangerously low at home. The thin material of both top garments showed how your nipples perked up now. And the way he had to grasp tightly on the smalls of your waist, feeling your stomach inhale and exhale as you calmed yourself down didn’t help either. It was like he felt your hold body moving… similar to a way he used to feel it.

It all makes him realize now how he hasn’t gotten the courage to look at you directly in the longest. God, he forgot how pretty you are. How lovely it was to hold you. Even if it was to escape death.

Your eyes are so big as you hold on tightly to his arms, you’re still shaken up. Trying to paddle your feet like you’ve seen on tv and in videos in the past. It’s adorable.

He didn’t dare look any longer, but part of him wondered if you were looking at him the same way. And you were. Specifically, the way you could see every line and ripple of his abdomen with his button up now glued to his body. As you let your eyes trail just a bit more form his arms, you noticed how magnified his chest looked, how his nipples were just as pert as yours.

It all made you feel something warm down below and it made something inside him twitch, but this wasn’t the time. He had been feeling so many things since he returned that he didn’t even know which ones to act upon first, so he reverted back to saying nothing, or at least nothing that had to do with how he really felt, how he really felt about you that is.

In the end, “You better hope I can make one of those shits run or we’re fucked,” was all he decided to say.

He moves your hands onto the back sides of his waist and he starts to swim. Your legs are off to the sides and he tells you to kick as he is and hold on tight as he swims you both to the middle boathouse, the one with the blood.

You hold onto the ledge as you finally arrive, allowing Daryl to go in first, checking for walkers at each boat. He does the side ones first. No one is there. Finally, he goes to the middle house: out of all of them, it’s the biggest wreck. The place is filled with pictures, Polaroids, scattered all over the place. It’s of the Saviors. And there’s all kinds of guns scattered on the floor, but he can’t help but to stare at the faces. He knew some of those faces.

You call his name, but he doesn’t respond. “What was in the other two?” You yell for him again, but nothing. You decide to go in the middle one as well, your eyes are amazed by the mess of guns on the floor. There were even ones still hooked up to the wall. There were knives and daggers too. Even glass cases with various bullets, you wondered what they did. Was this the emergency weapons stash? Had you reached it before a Savior could? “Why aren’t you picking this stuff up?” You look up at him impatiently, shaking your head and huffing, you’ll do it yourself you guess.

Daryl continues to look around, picking up a frame. The only framed picture in the boat. It was cracked on the ground: A Polaroid of Negan.

He takes the picture out of the broken glass to look at it closer. As if this wasn’t already the attitude of much of the Saviors, whoever lived and protected this place must have worshiped him. Negan stood proudly in it, his bat on the side of his shoulders, a big rifle strapped around his back on the other. His hair and beard was all black, and that notorious, all encompassing grin plastered his face from ear to ear. Daryl turned the picture over: the words, ‘Negan — The First Savior. My Savior,’ was written on the back.

It fired him up. It made him think of the dark, of that cell, of the food that probably wasn’t even food, when he was kicked and jumped by those Saviors in the parking lot, and that damn song— the saccharine melody would live on in his brain like a siren. There would never be silence inside him again. In fact, there never was. It was only louder now. So loud and so angry he feels it in his throat, traveling to his tongue, beneath his eyes, as he can no longer keep it in anymore; but he tries, and tries, and tries, quietly holding everything in while you keep collecting weapons, putting them in bags you find. The picture crumples in his closing hand, his fist turning red as he grips tightly, ruining the shining paper.

He slides down against the boat wall, sitting on the ground biting his tongue, stopping the feelings until you're done; until you two can leave and he can do what he needs to do. It’ll be without you, without Rick, without anyone. This needs to be done. He’ll do it.

“Daryl,” you call out, not facing him, collecting the bags. “I think I counted 32, but it could be 40… I think there’s smaller ones by the wheel and I didn’t even get the swords yet. If there's about the same number on the other two, there could be maybe over 100 new weapons,” you gasp with disbelief. “Were the other two like this?“

You we’re relieved, you knew it was a dumb plan, but you came out of it with a win; it was worth it. “Daryl, come on-” you turn to him now, “oh.”

You almost couldn’t see his eyes with how much more narrow he made them, they were practically closed and his face was down. You wondered if this was the moment you would first see him cry: his lip quivered, his face was as red as his fists, and he wouldn’t look in your direction, his head was basically to the wall as you started to walk to him.

Your movements are slow as you kneel down to the corner in which he sat. You place fingers along his jaw until your whole hand wraps around the area. Your strokes are gentle, feeling the bristles of his beard on your palm. He had been so angry since he returned, hell bent on war and death, but you remembered… he must have also been so sad, so depressed too. Poor boy, you thought. Poor boy, you forgot; in some ways, he still was just a boy.

You turn his cheek to face you, but his eyes don’t dare meet yours as a few tears start rolling out. Your own emerge too. It’s heartbreaking to see him like this.

You put your forehead to his, your nose rubbing against his own, “I’m so sorry,” you whisper.

You come even closer. Your lips lightly touch his, you’re tentative at first, not knowing if it was right, but then you feel his brush against yours just as light. You decide to move in, your lips parting his own as you kiss him.

Your tongue goes into his mouth, your hand raising his chin, you’re so delicate. He holds your shoulder, you lean into his bent body and your other hand slides against his chest. You’re both still wet and cold, but his heart beats warmly.

His head leans up against the wall as you push yourself further onto his lips. You hold his shoulders and he allows you to slide him down.

You look up at him, your hands on his shirt. This is not how you expected today to go. “Is this okay?” You ask softly. His nod is just as soft, you almost don’t see it, but his hands are lightly on top of your own as you unbutton his shirt, he lets you. It’s okay.

He’s unbuckling his belt now, pushing his pants down and your top goes over your head. He starts to unbutton your own jeans. It’s quiet except for your breaths, and the clinking of belts, and the undoing of zippers.

You pull him out a little more from the corner so you can straddle him. You start grinding your hips down into him and he pushes into your clit with his finger, circling it. The bit of warmness you felt below before is now almost pooling out instantly from just the littlest touches. Your back arches, you haven’t felt him in so, so long. You gasp and it accidentally turns into a moan. You’re so needy for it, but you remember: you want to help him.

Your hands move down to his stomach, your lips kiss his neck as your hands travels up to his chest and then back down, you start kissing him everywhere there as you do so, breathing him in, it makes him fidgety, little gruff sounds irruption from his throat, he’s trying to keep it in. Then you got even lower: you kiss down his cock until you’re at the tip. You lick at the pre-cum there. You put just a little bit of him inside your mouth, sucking, stroking the rest of it. His exhale comes out as a shaky gasp, he whimpers slightly.

Finally, you move back up and line yourself up with him, sinking down slowly as you look him in the eyes. You can’t help it, you start to ride him immediately thereafter. The stretch feels so good and so big and full as if you’ve never felt him before. Your moan is light and airy, you missed him. And he groans, “-ugh, fuck” and moans, “uh- mm- argh,” right after you do so. He missed you. You know that now, it makes you smile.

You lean up against him slightly. His mouth parted and you speak into it, your breast brushing against him as you rolled onto him, your stomached touching a bit. “I’ve got you,” you pant into his mouth, he’s panting too, “always.”

He holds onto your hips as you go faster, you’re holding onto his shoulders. “Does it feel good?” You kiss him right after you ask, his tongue going to the top of your mouth, sliding in wet and deliciously, it’s everything you’ve waited for. He hums into you as a response. You feel his dick twitch as your pussy grips on him tighter.

You feel like you both could be close until he starts kissing you more fiercely. His tongue only slipping in slightly as he pecks your lips, he bites down slightly, then kissing you deeply again. Then he turns you over. You’re under him now. His hands go right by your ears, flat on the ground and he thrusts into you. Hard. It almost hurts, you can’t lie. He’s grunting, short and quick, but his rasp, and his hair flying as he quickens the pace, and the fact that pain is slowly turning into pleasure… you’re fine with it. If this is what he needs, you’re fine with it.

His next grunt is almost a yell, it’s like a battle cry. He’s angry and you know it. You hold onto his flex arms tenderly, caressing him, silently telling him you’re there, but you allow him to continue.

His movements are faster now. More irate. His body comes closer to yours, but his movements do not stop their force. His thrusts feels like poundings, you feel like the floor is moving, maybe the boat is rocking, the bags jump with it.

He looks at your screwed shut eyes as one of his hands comes to touch your chest. Trailing your breast, then to the bottom of your stomach, staying there, pressing down, feeling himself inside of you has he shoves himself up and in, he’s deep, so deep. “Mmm,” You’re whining now, “-uuh.” It makes his eyes lighten, he’s humming, low and gruff and continuous, stuttering into you, eyes open waiting to see you come so then he can. It’s right there for him, but he wants to see you, he needs it.

Your moan mixes into a whine, “Daryl please,” you beg, “Daryl please- it’s- it’s too much, it hurts,” it makes him go even faster, and he can’t help himself as he comes in you first, sighing as he does so, but it’s exactly what you need to come undone yourself.

You grab the back of his neck, holding it close to you as you squeeze your arms around him and he does the same to your waist.

You both try to calm your breaths, “Never leave me again,” you say into his ear, breathing roughly. “Please.”

“Never.” He looks at you right in the eye when repeats it, “Never.” He wipes the tears from your face as you both nod, affirming a new promise to each other. “We’ll win. Together.”

After laying for a few moments, just looking at each other, he goes to the bathroom to find a washcloth, warming it with water, helping you clean up. He takes your hand so you can start doing it yourself and he kisses your forehead before he starts to get dressed. “I’ll be back.”

Soon enough, you hear the engine in the front start to rev up. He got it to work.

“You can drive a boat?”

“Gonna learn.” He turns to you, pulling you in front resting your hands on the wheel while he stands behind, his arms over your own. “We both are.”

[infiniteanalemma]

Nobility in Baldur's Gate

Edited to add: I never expected my silly, niche post to get as much attention as it has! I'm giving you all forehead smooches! 😚💋 I've gone through to clean up some things up as I've found new information. I also added a list of nobility that I've found in game and other sources to the end of the post. Thanks, y'all! I'm glad I'm not the only one to wonder about this stuff. Good stuff in the reblogs, too!

Baldur's Gate has dug itself deep in my brain, so I apologize to my poor mutuals who didn't follow me for BG3 content getting this onslaught of posts. Please bear with me until my hyperfixation wears off. 🙏

Now, I'll admit up front that I'm no expert in DnD lore*, so if I get things wrong, please feel free to correct me or just add in stuff I may have missed. I'm going off of what I've found in-game and my Google Fu skills.

That said, I do know enough about DnD to remember that Baldur's Gate nobility are called patriars, and that there are only a relative handful of actual patriar families. I was thinking about my "canon" Tav, Velassa, and her background in BG3. She's a modified OC that I plunked in-game during Early Access, so I made her a noble. It was just part of her existing character that I didn't think too deeply about. It was only after I starting playing that it occurred to me to wonder what exactly "a noble" is to a native Baldurian.

That got me digging a little more into the current state of the Baldurian nobility as of BG3. I don't know who--if anyone--needs or wants this, but I put this together for myself and decided to share it for anyone else who might be interested. I realize that this is probably pretty niche and it's rambly and long af, so I'll put it under a cut.

So, for starters, here's a list of all the patriar families, including "fallen" houses that are barely hanging on: Belt, Bormul, Caldwell, Dlusker, Durinbold, Eltan, Eomane, Exeltis, Gist, Guthmere, Hhune, Hlath, Hullhollyn, Irlentree, Jannath, Jhasso, Linnacker, Miyar, Nurthammas, Oathoon, Oberon, Portyr, Provoss, Ravenshade, Rillyn, Sashenstar, Shattershield, Silvershield, Tillerturn, Vammas, Vannath, Vanthampur, and Whitburn

From what I've gathered, Exeltis, Provoss and Ravenshade are all more-or-less destitute. Also, the Szarr family (Cazador's family) were patriars, but were believed to be entirely wiped out. No living descendants makes them a dead house, rather literally. 😏 (No, I'm not sorry.)

Now, we learn that Wyll's father is Ulder Ravengard, the Grand Duke. This brings us to the first point: There are four Dukes, known as the Council of Four, and the Grand Duke's job is to be the tie-breaker.

Traditionally, one of the Dukes is also the highest ranked officer of the Flaming Fist--that's Ravengard, who was a Fist promoted up through the ranks. Wyll tells us that his father was born lower class, and quite a few of the patriars seem to scorn him for that. The other Dukes are Belynne Stelmane, Dillard Portyr (more on him later) and Thalamra Vanthampur (more on her later, too). Of the four, two are patriars: Portyr and Vanthampur. We don't know much about Stelmane's past, except that she was a brilliant businesswoman, politician and--as we find out later--member of the Knights of the Shield. Apparently, you can't buy your way into the patriars, but maybe you can buy your way into being a Duke.

Skipping ahead a bit, when the player shows up to Gortash's coronation, there are a group of mostly patriars sitting in the boxes leading up to the front of the room. I'm listing them by seating arrangement, with box 1 and 2 being the left and right closest to Gortash, and 3 and 4 being farthest. (I don't know what, if anything, the seating arrangements imply. The second box has eight people, compared to four for all the rest.)

Lady Ailis Belt, Baron Callem Bormul, Lord Rugger Shattershield**, and Lady Alia Durinbold**

Lady Ruth Linnacker, Lord Sarken Eomane, Lady Freida Oberon, Lord Raylen Jannath, Lord Myer Ravenshade**, Lady Madeline Whitburn, Lady Beatrice Provoss, and Duke Dillard Portyr

Lady Winstra Hullhollyn, Admiral Peil Hullhollyn, Lord Randolph Vammas, and Lady Eshvelt Guthmere

Lord Milon Tillerturn, Lady Silifrey Sashenstar, Lord Petric Amber**, and Lady Haeril Birch**

Here's some pictures of the nobles sitting together. (Sorry for the terrible quality! I slapped it together for my own reference. 🙈)

The characters marked by ** aren't human, which is interesting because the information I found said all the patriar familes are human except the Shattershields. Myer Ravenshade is listed as human if you examine him, but he has a dwarf model. That might be a mistake, but I'm including him anyway. Alia Durinbold, from a presumably human patriar family, is a wood elf. Again, this could be a mistake, but unless Larian winds up changing it, it could mean that interracial marriages that once may have been looked down on are now becoming more acceptable. Petric Amber is also a wood elf, and Haeril Birch is a high elf.

Those last two are interesting because they are the only ones in the boxes who aren't patriars. If not for them, I'd have assumed the coronation was simply a demonstration for the patriars alone. Their inclusion means this is something else.

Digging around, my conclusion is that all the listed people are members of the Parliament of Peers--a 50 person advisory party to the Council of Four. However, what I found says that it's pretty rare for all 50 to attend meetings, and the usual group is between 20-30. There are exactly 20 named individuals listed, plus a group of unnamed "patriars" standing at the front.

Here they are, for what it's worth:

One thing I noticed here is that most of those listed here are Lord/Lady, but there are three other titles: Duke, Baron and Admiral. I've already talked about the Dukes. Looking into the patriars, the Hullhollyn family are notable for having a fleet of ships, so it makes sense that one of them would be an Admiral. That leaves the Baron.

I couldn't find anything about what it means to be a baron in Baldur's Gate. Going on real-world peerages, a baron/ess is generally the lowest "rank" of nobility. Basically, it's someone who was an official landowner (usually of an "important" bit of land) under the feudal system. Well and good, I suppose, but presumably all the Lords and Ladies of the patriars own land within the city. This particular Baron is also a patriar, but given that one doesn't need to be a patriar to become a Duke (normally a higher peer than a baron), that may not mean anything.

(Apparently, the term "Duke" was originally meant somewhat jokingly. That said, it still carries the weight of a title even if not the conventional one.) We don't see any other titles between Duke and Baron, so what does that mean?

This isn't canon, but my assumption is that it means the Baron owns important land outside of the city. This would make sense for Baron Bormul, given that the Bormul family apparently have investments in silver mines and vineyards. Assuming they own the mines/vineyards, that may make those lands "important" enough to the city for their owner to earn a title. Alternately, the Bormul family also has counterparts in Amn, so maybe baron is an Amnian title that got passed along. That's getting a bit far afield for me, though. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, among the group at the coronation, pretty much everyone supports Gortash becoming Archduke, with the exception of Lady Sashenstar (an old woman who really isn't too impressed with this commoner) and Duke Portyr, who expresses some hesitation at the whole thing.

Duke Portyr is interesting here. Except for Ravengard (who is thralled and conducting the ceremony), Portyr is the only Duke present. Now, Stelmane is already dead, so that explains her absence. Vanthampur is also missing, which is interesting. Portyr first, though: he was Grand Duke before Ravengard. He's the one who re-instituted (Edited: and originally created!) the Parliament of Peers to make the day-to-day decisions of running the city, and ceded the title of Grand Duke to Ravengard. He's described as being conflict-averse, so it makes sense that he'd go along with Gortash's coronation, even though he's clearly unhappy about it. Also, the current leader of the Fists is also a Portyr, likely still Liara Portyr, the Duke's niece and Ravengard's second-in-command.

Thalamra Vanthampur is an interesting character, too. She's the head of the Vanthampur family, and part of the Descent into Avernus story. Apparently, she's the one who got Ravengard to go to Elturel before it sank to the Hells, intending to take his place as Grand Duke. From what I read, she also conspired with the Dead Three's cults to murder people in a bid to discredit the Flaming Fist. (The murdery bits were undoubtedly left to Bhaal's cult.) We never do find out anything about Thalamra Vanthampur in this game (I assume that's probably cut content). (Edited: She is mentioned in one of the in-game texts as having been killed, which was one of the possible outcomes of Descent into Avernus. Larian chose that as their canon, just like the fate of Elturel and Zariel.)

The only Vanthampur we do meet is Carnelia Vanthampur, who is in the Guildhall and describes herself as "a peer of the Parliament". She's willing to work with either the Guild or the Zhentarim. Nervously of course. Also interesting is that, on the Bloodstained Parchment hit list, is a Varri Vanthampur, whose gravestone you can find in Candulhallow's Tombstones shop, reading: "Varri Vanthampur. Unwanted in life, welcomed in death."

Interesting, hm?

Also on that hit list is Fridrik Hhune. The Hhunes apparently have links to the Knights of the Shield, from what I looked up--the same group the Emperor led with Stelmane. The only Hhunes we meet in-game are Blaise and Gheris Hhune, two of the werewolves in Cazador's ballroom who are brothers according to the dev notes. With them is another werewolf of a different patriar family, Duver Rillyn. This suggests Cazador has been going after members of patriar families, which sort of fits with what we know about his plans. We really don't find anything else out about them except that they consider Cazador to be their master and Astarion says they're new.

We also can talk to a Flaming Fist who mentions that Hurlbut Hhune is the father of Henrietta Hhune, who used to be secretly engaged to the Fist in question, only for her father to decide to arrange her to marry fellow patriar Derque Rillyn, who the Fist describes as "a major arsehole."

That conversation is interesting for a few reasons. For one, it tells you that arranged marriages within the patriar are a thing. Also, this Fist is a Manip (essentially a Sergeant) who can't ask the other Fists for help because "the Fists don't mess with wealthy patriars, they've got the Watch to back them up." That's aligned with what Devella can also tell you: "There are patriars on the murder target list. I'm oathbound to secure them first, so I'll be heading to the Upper City next." If you say that the Fist should protect everyone: "Not from around here, are you? We're in Baldur's Gate - this is just how things work."

This brings me back to my original issue: what is a Baldurian noble? The patriars are canonically nobles, of course, and they're undoubtedly seen as the "most important" of the nobility. From there, it's not much of a stretch to say that anyone who has earned the title of Duke is now a noble, even if they aren't patriars. I'd go so far as to say anyone on the Parliament of Peers (and their family by association) is a noble^, given that non-patriars Petric Amber and Haeril Birch are considered Lord and Lady. The information I found about that is that there are approximately twelve non-patriar members. If Amber and Birch are two of them, that leaves another unnamed 10.

^Edited: Looking at the dates, I realized that the Parliament of Peers is a very recent change to Baldurian governance. Duke Portyr originally created it after the three other Dukes on the Council of Four were assassinated. It was clearly meant as a temporary measure, but my guess is that the patriars liked having more official say. Not to mention the non-patriars who managed to get a seat. This has all happened within even the youngest of Tav/Urges' lifetimes.

Personally, I'd also assume that branch families of the patriars probably also count as nobility. By branch family, I mean those that marry out of the main line but whose ancestry stems from a patriar family. From what I've seen by naming conventions, Baldur's Gate seems to use patronmyic lineage--ancestry is generally passed to the sons, and wives take their husband's surname. So, if a daughter marries out of the family, she'd no longer be a part of her father's family lineage, but still would be considered nobility. These branch families likely still maintain powerful influence and connections from marrying into wealth, which would make them a good political/financial choice of marriage alliance, despite no longer having the main branch patriar family name. These families are also probably the ones most likely to find a place on the Parliament, too, but likely have to jockey for position if their "representative" dies (or otherwise leaves) and a new opening in the Parliament is created.

If you've read this far, as a treat you can have some crappy close-up portraits of the nobles at Gortash's coronation, grouped together in their respective boxes. 😚

* For what it's worth, I'd count myself as a casual DnD player. I have some knowledge of DnD--I've played BG1 and 2, Planescape: Torment, along with some general cultural osmosis. I've had friends who played the tabletop version, but for one reason or another, I've never played it myself.

[moddymoon]

Introduction Update...

This is going to take a while to write I think:

Look at current introduction.

Add some stuff that currently gets frequently asked:

Sissy

Slave

Submissive

Switch

Add some stuff about parts that get missed:

Programming

Hypnosis

Trans

Plural

Tech

Security

Autism

Non-binary

Incontinence

ABDL

Add some stuff about contact:

I won't pay you.

I love talking if it's a conversation

Feel free to send me asks

Things not to tell a stranger on the internet.

That's most of what I want here.

Previous Introduction

I have an old introduction post from April 5th (that's not that old just over a month old, but it was probably a bit of a brief introduction. I'm just not very good at doing that, and at that time I had nothing that I could find in my backlog as to what would be considered to be an introduction, so I wrote something up quickly.

The first thing that we talk about there is plurality. I'm not really going to go much into it right here, because I plan on talking more about it further down, but yes, we're a plural system.

And oddly the next thing is our age, (which we keep getting asked about, so it means these people have not read the pinned post). I'm not going to repeat that (but I'm not removing the old post either).

In that it talks a bit about disability. Including neurodivergence, specifically autism.

The next thing I talk about is incontinence. Which sort of extends to ABDL stuff.

Then basically we say that people are free to contact us (there will be more at the bottom of this about that). So, that's just going over what I have already said.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Here's some questions I get asked and while some of these get asked in a combined form I'm going to break them down to the component parts...

Are you a sissy? (why is ### unsuported?)

I'm trans. I was assigned male at birth. I am non-binary. The "Are you a sissy?" type quiz things often will say that yes I am a sissy.

My problem? Well I'm not quite sure if that's an identity I fully would embrace, or if it's a "play" thing.

Are you a slave?

Briefly, if the answer to that is, "yes" then either you are someone closely associated with me and my role in that position, or you shouldn't be answering that.

I am interested in the submissive thing. I've explored lightly the idea of "slave" and would like to explore it further with the right person/people.

Chances are, if you're asking that, you're not going to be the right person.

I guess maybe if you've shown that you've read what I've had to say, and you'd like to confirm what my current status is, and make it clear, then I get it. But... I've not had anything close to that.

And as to whether I would... I'm already in a long distance relationship of some similar nature, and I'm OK with exploring with others, or more with that person in that direction.

Are you a submissive?

Yes, though... I tend to be more than just a submissive, and if you're asking that, then your sense probably isn't what I mean by that.

Here's the thing that I want to say, most people who have asked, don't seem to have a sense of this being a relationship that is built, and that is built on mutual respect and understanding.

If you're one of those people, then probably we're not going to get very far. And while it's not asked, it comes out of these above questions.

Are you a switch?

YES ABSOLUTELY... Part of that is not really being able to define things in black and white, but for example, the "Caregiver/little" role (the relationship mentioned above), overall I feel I'm more of a little, but I end up taking a Caregiver role more often when it comes to a relationship. And I'm fine with that.

Parts that have been missed

I want to write a bit about some stuff I think is missing overall here.

What about programming?

I ended up checking out the tag, "programming" in relationship to hypnosis type stuff, and ran into stuff like "Python" which I was, "dang I can get people talking about that too?" So yes I do programming, I'm not that great, some people have told me that I shouldn't (they might be right, but that's not a useful thing to say).

So yes, I do computer programming.

Hypnosis?

OK, as I just mentioned, I also am into hypnosis, and I guess a lot of other "mental health," or "psychology" type topics. I don't really want to go into detail, but it's relevant to just say yep...

Gender identity stuff...

I've mentioned it above, and probably will more so below. We're non-binary. We tend to present more feminine, than masculine.

What about the incontinence?

Yeah, I have some incontinence, I would say it's mostly urge related, but trying to figure it out, we've not really got a clear answer. Most of the time, if we're on top of things, it's more a matter of "barely making it to the bathroom in time" but there have been some seriously notable accidents... I might talk about them in private once I get to know you (or on some other platform).

But aren't you ABDL?

Yes, as I say often, "Why not both?" There's two things here... Many people who do have incontinence, actually discover that diapers can make their lives incredibly better, and they fall in love with being able to wear, and use diapers...

That literally makes them diaper lovers, and part of the community. Even if it's just really that they love what it does for them on a personal level.

ABDL does not have to be (and often is not sexual), and that's part of the reason that people don't want to associate with it.

And also, people think that ABs and DLs "must go together". Which also not true. Yes, I'm both, but you can be one, without the other (you can even be an AB, who has none of the DL stuff).

Communicating with me

OK, this is where I run into some stuff that I'm often not sure about... Not that I'm not sure about what people are doing, more about my response.

Will you pay me to be your ... whatever?

No, I won't. Especially not if you contacted me first. My following you is not contacting you. My messaging you, because you asked... Is not contacting you.

If you really are just looking to get paid, then save your time, go find someone else to contact.

Will you talk to me?

Absolutely, I love a good conversation. If it's a good give and take (and yes it can take a bit to get there) I'm all up for it.

I'm up for it also if it does take a while to get there, and even if you want to talk about stuff that I'm not really interested in.

If I say something along the lines of, "I won't answer that," or "I won't do that with you where we're at in our relationship." It's not that I'm saying no to the conversation. It's that I'm stating that that particular thing is not OK at least right now.

If you still want to talk, I'm still up to it. Just not in that direction.

Can I send an ask?

I've had some great asks, and I love them. If you want to do that, go for it. I don't know what sending an anonymous ask does on, well either end, but I hope that it will show up in your activity when I answer. So feel free to send me an ask. So far, I've answered every one I've got, on any platform. The answer might be "no I'm not interested," but I haven't had one that I'm feeling even the asking is not OK.

Do you have things you won't answer?

This is the "Things that you should not tell a stranger on the internet," section.

Yes, there's things that I won't answer, at least while you're a stranger:

Where are you located?

What's your age?

What's your sex? (these are what were called ASL questions, and while often asked, have never really been considered appropriate)

What's your real name?

Are you ??? when the thing being asked is a really complicated thing with no yes/no answer?

What is your phone number?

Can you contact me on x other platform (maybe, but most of the time I literally can't I've tried, and people have gotten mad at me for saying no)?

That's not the whole list, but it's enough for now.

Take care everyone... I wasn't sure I was going to get this in a form I was happy with, but here we are.

***THANK YOU TUMBLR FOR MESSING ALL OPPORTUNITIES TO PROPERLY FORMAT POSTS***

[crazylittlejester]

Hey Jes could you pretty please give me a thorough rundown of the cannon Hyrules Warriors events

ie the actual stuff that happens in game.

Bc I really want to write stuff for HW and Lu as well as make theory posts for it but idk much of anything abt HW

Jes this is a free invitation to fucking yap to an extreme about hyrule warriors

Cause all I know is the first 10 minutes of it, Zelda has bad dream, we see link fighting, battle happens , link fight and got brunt by Volga he is now the hero and that’s it

So pretty please tell me abt HW

so the thing about hw is you can understand like 80% of the plot from JUST the cutscenes, and someone put it together like a movie on youtube and this is only like an hour long:

admittedly i have not played this game in a while and i forgot some of the smaller things about it, so my apologies if any of this is wrong but in summary:

the game starts with the war coming to the castle and then Link, some random ass soldier, runs into Volga on the field and Volga is genuinely kinda like “can you get your unimportant ass out of the fucking way good lord” and he tries to kill Link (and Impa too i think) and this awakens the triforce or something and then boom: Link is revealed to be the hero and everyone’s kinda like “oh good we found him!!” while Link, mid battle, is like “oh what the fuck…” and at the end of this first battle Zelda goes missing (they find her next battle, but she’s Sheik and they don’t know that)

Ganon was split into like four different pieces and he was Not too happy about this so he decided to corrupt this sorceress and she got split into two people, Lana and Cia, and Ganon basically promised Cia Link as like a war prize if she helped him basically put himself back in one piece and the pieces of Ganon were stuck in different timelines so that’s why all these portals get opened, because the bad guys need to get all of Ganon in one spot but this ALSO allowed Link to get allies from said times, like Midna and Fi

basically the first half of the game is them trying to close these gates to other times IN said other times so shit can go back to normal and for all of five seconds yay the war was over, but then what ends up happening is the Ganon Pieces get unstuck and he forms a whole dude again and he’s a little pissed (and i think this happened because the master sword was pulled and that’s what was holding back the fourth piece of Ganon? i don’t remember its been a hot minute) anyways Ganon takes Zant and Ghirahim and steals the ENTIRE triforce, and Link finds a way to kick his ass anyway, which is CRAZY and not enough people talk about the fact that Wars beat a fully triforced Ganon

Edit: JUST AN ADDITION, but im pretty sure he is canonically just a commander, not a captain (my dear mutual @hyruledwarriorr probably knows more than i do about that one, and also he might have things to add to this he loves hw alskkdkd)

[myloveforhergoeson]

hi friends

as i said in this post, it's well overdue the btr bloggers on this site had some time where we just flat-out told each other how much we appreciate each other!

whether you share your own thoughts about the show, write, draw, make edits, or simply lurk - we all make this small fandom go round! and i'd love it if this SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1ST - we took some time to let each other know!

below the cut, please find some messages you can copy and paste to leave in the ask box, the comment section, someone's dms, etc of your favorite btr creators/mutuals/followers/accounts. ideally, this doesn't even stay on tumblr, regardless if other fans don't know about it. take these messages to ao3, Instagram, wattpad, bluesky, anywhere where you follow someone who posts btr content you appreciate!

and finally, every fandom could use a day like this honestly. i do not care if someone copies this entire post and spreads it into their own circles. in fact - PLEASE do!

thank you for listening - everything you may need is under here!! <3

hi again - a quick note from me: please find a handful of copy and paste messages to send to your fav btr creators... but more than anything i encourage you to send your own kind words and praises to them first!!! i know that words can be hard, and sending something to someone you don't know can be scary, so if you do so require, using the templates is just fine :) i'll break them up into content sections below. if i missed any, or anyone has some of their own to share, please add on!!

general

got a fav btr blogger and you just don't know what to say to them? look no farther, i've got you covered! starting out from basic statements and going on to more specific with some fill in the blank elements :3 - hey! i love your btr posts, they always make me laugh! - i need all your btr posts on my blog IMMEDIATELY!!! - your btr posts have helped inspire me to make my own! - your btr headcannons are so interesting, they've helped me understand my favorite characters in a new way! - [SPECIFIC BTR POST] lives in my head rent free! - [SPECIFIC PIECE OF BTR CONTENT] is awesome! - your post about [SPECIFIC BTR HEADCANON] really got me thinking... do you have any more thoughts to share? i'd love to hear them! - reblog your fav btr posts again!!!!

for fic writers

someone's btr fic leave a lasting impression on you? love someone's analyzed a character and their dynamic? put your favorite character in a Situation? written ship content? or oc content? or x reader content? doesn't matter if it was written when the show first came out or if it was written yesterday - let them know either here or on their preferred writing platform! - i always look forward to your next writing project! - [SPECIFIC STORY] is one of my favorite btr works ever! - i love the way you write [CHARACTER/DYNAMIC/SHIP ETC] - i'm subscribed to all your writing platforms - i never miss a story! - this [LINE/PARAGRAPH/THEME IN STORY ETC] in your [WORK] really spoke to me! - your [CROSSOVER/AU/CANON-DIVERGENCE] was so interesting! i loved seeing the characters in a new setting! - writers love questions about their work... ever wonder why they wrote something a certain way or diverged from canon to make something true? ask them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - reblog and share links to your favorite stories on your own blog!! - has someone ever made something for one of YOUR written works? let them know how much you appreciate it too!!

for editers

from videos, to gifs, to fanmixes, to posters, to meme makers and soooo much more, there are no shortage of wonderful editers in our circle!! ever wanted to tell them how much you loved their stuff? now's your big chance!!!!!!! - can't stop thinking about that [CHARACTER/SHIP/ETC] edit you made! the clips and song you chose matched them perfectly! - the gifsets you posted of [SCENE/CHARACTER/SHIP/ETC] were beautiful! i can tell you put a lot of time and effort into making them - i am obsessed with your [CHARACTER/SHIP/ETC] fanmix!! the songs were well chosen - i've found some new favs through the playlist!! - your btr edited memes always make me laugh! - reblog your favorite works to you blog again! - if you have questions about the programs the person used, what inspired their choices, how long it took them - ask!!!!! ask!!!!!!!!!!!!! - someone ever make an edit based off of something you said or made? be sore to let them know how much it meant to you!

for artists

be it from the basics of pencil and paper all the way up to some fancy digital program, we love our artists regardless of their medium!! someone make a piece of fan art you love? comics you can't get enough of? drew your fav in just the right way? or depicted an oc or self-insert you adore? they deserve to know!!!!! - your artwork is so beautiful! [SPECIFIC PIECE] is my favorite! - this artstyle is so unique - i love seeing my favorite characters drawn this way - you depict [CHARACTER/SCENE/SHIP/ETC] so well! it's gorgeous! - the time and dedication you put into your craft is clear - your artwork is incredible! - want to learn more about this artist's choices or medium? ask!! - be sure to reblog your fav pieces to your blog again! - has anyone made a piece of art based on something you've made? tell them how thankful you are for it!!!!!

i know there are MANY more categories of fandom blogger out there, but i believe this covers the main types. please feel free to add on your own categories if you feel so inclined :3

while these are all intended for the ask box, dms, or comment section, if you want to make a post, be sure to tag the specific people you want to appreciate!! and if everyone uses the tag:

#btr creator appreciation day 2025

we'll all have a nice collection of everything everyone shared (on tumblr at least!)

that's all i have for now, so i'll step down off my soap box. see yall SATURDAY FEBRUARY 1ST!!!!!!!!!!!! <333

(tagging those who seemed interested: @icegirl2772 @fiyero3305 @happinessismagicc @partiallypearl @day-dreams22 @naquey @invadericee @uncarved-turnip @elitheidiot1 @cant-get-enough-btr-forever @bunnyfern)

[sawyer-is-eepy]

an Actual pinned™️

I have been avoiding writing an actual pinned but I can no longer put it off. my time has come

hi!! I'm sawyer, i'm E/INFP-T if that matters, I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things and I draw a lot

I'm genderfluid use whatever pronouns I guess. I am a minor pls don't be weird

I love outer wilds, it's my favoritest game ever at the moment! please talk to me about it! ::D currently hyperfixated on skyrim tho

other interests include-

the elder scrolls, vocaloid, the adventure zone balance, needy streamer overload, mouthwashing, myhouse.wad, yume nikki, guilty gear games, risk of rain 2, lethal company, the legend of zelda series(specifically breath of the wild, ocarina of time and windwaker), cowboy bebop, trigun(original), full metal alchemist brotherhood, FLCL, sailor moon, team fortress 2, ranma 1/2, portal, your turn to die, sonic the hedgehog, journey(tgc), 2018 rocly & bullwinkle, bee & puppycat, omori, doki doki literature club, and many other things.

things to watch out for-

I frequently reblog things with outer wilds spoilers.

everything about outer wilds that has ANY spoiler, however big or small, gets tagged #outer wilds spoilers. if you have not finished the base game, please block this tag and do so ^^

if the post is about echoes of the eye -the dlc- spoilers, it will be tagged as #echoes of the eye spoilers as well as the one above. if you have not finished the dlc, please block this tag and do so ^^

no dni but I block FREELY

please don't spoil:

buffy the vampire slayer, samurai champloo, naruto shippuden, yume nikki, rain world, in stars and time, subnautica

tagging system - (feel free to block any of them that make you uncomfortable!)

#sawyer arts : drawings, paintings, art stuffs

#sawyer has thoughts : my thoughts/observations on things, like games or plurality or something, but not syscourse related

#sawyer is a syscourser : syscourse thoughts and posts. anything that is syscoursey will be tagged this but #sawyer has thoughts can include non syscourse-y plurality posts

#sawyer is upset : vent tag. probably won't be used often but just in case

then of course i already talked about the outer wilds tags, but just to reiterate- if you have not finished outer wilds please block #outer wilds spoilers and if you haven't finished the dlc please block #echoes of the eye spoilers! i will tag EVERY SINGLE REBLOG OR POST that has spoilers this, so you can browse my blog without that worry!

if youre a mutual and you want to, you can ask for a "don't look" tag if there's anything in specific that I post or reblog that you don't wanna see!!

relevant blogs -

@agate-rambles sideblog for tulpa-related shenanigans! frequently reblogs outer wilds stuff as well! same tags

i might add more to this later ^^

( also I am not good at making long intro posts like these, so apologies if I'm missing anything! I used to @ / jellyfish-grave 's pinned as a reference )

the future is plural!

Some friendos of mine that you should totally follow

@remithenoaitall - cousin. nothing else is interesting about them at all ever they're only here out of obligation /j

@jellyfish-grave - wooo close close friend of mine

@spacestationsystem - are pretty cool ^^ and SWEET TYSM y'all

@feychildfangs - wowow cool person. !!!

@nxva-blogz - coolio person!!! they do cool art and stuff

[n0vatsu]

♡Hello everyone♡

note: PLEASE STOP TAGGING ME IN CHAINS ONLY TAG WHEN GIFTING

(Aesthetic board removed cuz idk what my aesthetic is anymore maybe ill make a new one)

⚠️WARNING⚠️

Blood, swearing, bright edits, spoilers from shows/video games/movies ocs might be sexualized(dnt cancel me plz I’m trying not to make them like that), religious and pride opinions, and more stuff that might be triggering Blog 13+ (i mean so is tumblr so ipad kids gtfo) this blog might have satire NSFW so be aware of that:D continue at ur own risk ig lol

Welcome to my blog i am a American gacha tumblr/tuber you can call me Tsut, Tsu, Silas, Nova or just Tsutsuji DNI means do not interact

FANDOMS:

- Demon slayer (active) - Toilet bound hanako kun (active) - Stardew Valley (active)

- Genshin impact (Main Fandom + Active) - my hero academia (hiatus) - Dandy’s world (new + active) - Inanimate Insanity (new + active) - Pokemon (hiatus)

- DDLC (idk im not sure of the game, i cant play it but im watching some gameplays of it😭) - FPE (hiatus)

- The owl house (hiatus)

- tangled (hiatus)

My other scmd apps:D!!

discord: galatsu._. server link:D (might make a new server)

Pinterest (i rly hope ppl at my school dont find thi)

Instagram (quitted personal use tho) Wattpad Character Ai. (On strike) YouTube (hiatus)

Roblox user is tsutsuji_mysticwolf(ik bad user) display: n0va ✨my other blogs✨ @tsukisnights (writing blog)

@xxamacha-tsukixx (vlog + venting blog)

@tsutsuji-picrew (the name says it itself)

@tsutsujiroblox (future gaming blog)

@ga1atsu (reblogging blog (future shitposting blog) @haruna-tsutsuji (kny blog)

follow these amazing peeps

@floofy-cat (bestie irl) @flamy-t (my fav sis) @emuiy (my platonic brother:3) @lunatic-sayuri (Get. To. Bed.) @boiling-potato (come back with the milk plz) @lunarthefrieschild (I MISS U:(()

@mel-loly (Ty for being here for me) @screwzara (TALK TO ME:( @jassylife (first follower) @2laffy2 (my babyy) @devillemon085 @rosalinastan1 @urlocalgworllol

I have many more peeps don’t come at me if u didn’t got tagged lol I have a lot of mutuals ALSO PLZ DNT BEG ME TO ADD U I DNT WANT TO ADD TOO MANY PPL MY PINNED POST WILL LITERALLY BE AN ESSAY IF I DO

Oc + creator bios

Tsutsuji’s bio

Safaia’s bio

Emerarudo’s bio

Baioretto’s bio

Sukāretto’s bio

Ayu’s bio

Creator’s bio Oc intro masterlist

REQUESTS ARE OPEN GACHA VIDS/EDITS AND ART IM OPEN BABY>:D

OH AND SINCE I DISABLED MENTIONS CUZ I DONT WANT TO BE SPAMMED WITH TAG GAMES USE THE HASHTAG #tsutsuji’s fanart☆ WHEN YOU HAVE ANY FANART FOR ME

Feel free to ask my ocs anything Tsutsuji’s gl2 code: 828VLR3W3

Yoake’s gl2 code: WRLFJ284X

Creator’s gl2 code: 6NJWR6MCO

Milkshake Mansion gl2 codes

Tsutsuji:6HYY96YHT

Yoake: K67JS5WA8 yes I do art trades but I’ll only do it if I say yes don’t send me 18+ art tho…

End and be safe

#free Palestine I’m not Muslim but I’m a supporter Idc if my family doesn’t support Palestine but genocide, extreme unfairness and harm is wrong🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸 peace and love from United States (yes ik that usa supports Israel but still) stay strong Palestinians

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME DONATION ASKS (or replies) I CAN BARELY DO SHIT FOR YALL AND BOOSTING IT MIGHT RESULT SCAMS IM SRY-:,D

Also enjoy my music taste while your scrolling through my blog;D

last updated in February 6, 2025

[gloriousburden]

who am i and what is this blog for?

i’m grace. i don’t really like sharing many personal details, but i will state that i am 18.

Sideblog is @questions-about-loki FOLLOW AND SEND IN SUBMISSIONS!!

i am obviously a loki fangirl, but i also like: the legend of zelda, splatoon, attack on titan, grimes, björk, and more. i do also like other mcu characters as well but i’m just… more normal about them than i am about loki.

Also I kinda use this blog as an OG Loki archive. I have tags dedicated to older Loki content posted on here to sort of archive it since I unfortunately missed out on the prime time to be a Loki fan. #og loki post #og loki fanart + #og mcu post (tagged below)

like i said in my bio… this is an anti loki series blog, and i am critical of ragnarok as well. of course if you like these things (specifically ragnarok) still feel free to follow. it’s just i definitely won’t follow back blogs that heavily reblog/post series content, blogs that strictly post the variant/do not post anything that has to do with the og loki, and blogs that reblog/post a lot of lokius/sylki content.

and i… maybe i kinda question why a series blog would follow me in the first place since i am so negative about it 😭 if i don’t follow back, know that it’s truly not personal. i just really don’t want any series stuff on my dash. i have my reasons for deeply disliking the series, and i am more than welcome to discuss/debate those reasons. i have many times on my blog using #anti loki series.

(ALSO a lot of my OWN loki rants/analyzations/whatever we’d like to call them are under #loki 💭 which i’ve added the tag on this post. do check that out if you’d like to understand some of my views on loki/the series better, or if you just want to read stuff about loki)

please feel more than welcome to send me an ask/dm about anything at all, or if you’d like to become mutuals! i sometimes forget to follow back others because i get a lot of notifs lol

i do not USUALLY reblog or post any straight up nsft/suggestive content such as smut or suggestive fanart, but if I do… it’s under #suggestive. feel more than free to follow if you do interact with that sort of content.

i don’t have a crazy dni list or anything just obviously don’t be weird

also… i do try my best to hide it, but i sometimes get very defensive/sensitive over loki. if i ever come off as rude when defending him from others who mischaracterize/misunderstand him, i genuinely apologize. he means a lot to me and i tend to get irrationally upset at mischaracterization.

some posts of mine that i think are interesting:

(aka a mixture of posts that are actually interesting, as well as just some of my top posts for easy access lol)

my take on the thanos brainwashed loki theory… [link]

poll on how the fandom would feel if loki from infinity war was revealed to have survived, and had a cameo in a future marvel project… [link]

wondering what it’d be like to be a normal asgardian witnessing all the events our little characters went through… [link]

avengers loki… save me… [link]

thor 1 loki, and avengers loki having the same face a year apart… [link]

that beautiful 6'2 Norse god… [link]

STOP CALLING AVENGERS LOKI’S HAIR GREASY GRRRRRR… [link]

Girl I don’t even know what to call this one. I didn’t even know this was gonna get any notes. I was just saying words. Something something Loki’s eyelids… [link]

Jotun Loki discourse with LOTS of interesting reblogs. Do check them out… [link]

My opinions on Loki’s helms, as well as some info… [link]

Results to a poll asking other anti series blogs how much of the series they actually watched… [link]

This gif of Loki that got like 500 notes for some reason 😭😭😭… [link]

Loki sighting!!! ... [link]

One of my favorite Loki takes of mine… [link]

(will eventually add more 😁)

(Loki Imagine/Loki x reader esque posts are under #loki imagine and #loki x reader I’ve been dabbling into that sort of thing recently. Added the tags under this post. Once again, anything suggestive is under #suggestive. So do with that what you will.)

[jxmimac]

Intro Post 👋✨

Hi!

About Me:

My name is Jemima but you can call me Jem, Jemma, or Jia (I have a lot of nicknames😅)

I mainly post about Merlin, Mphfpc and x men, but I have a lot of fandoms

My pronouns are she/her or she/they I’m Bisexual(omni), and I’m British 🇬🇧🇪🇺, so excuse if I sometimes use words you don’t understand if you’re from somewhere else like america, sometimes I forget that people might have different words for stuff.

Messsage me whenever about literally anything, or nothing at all, I’m always up for a chat ❤️‍🔥

asks are open and always feel free to start a chat about pretty much anything (as long as you’re not being rude), I absolutely love getting asks and requests so pls do

I DON’T support bullying or hate speech of any kind, and I believe everyone has a right to their own views and opinions, this is a safe space for everyone, and anyone not respecting that will be blocked 🚫

Socials:

My TikTok accounts are Jcxsy.edtz(₊˚✧𝐉𝐜𝐱𝐬𝐲₊˚✧) and that’s where I post my Mphfpc edits, and some other multifandom edits,

and marvel_jc (꧁𝐉𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐌𝐀꧂), which is where I post all my marvel/x men edits

{{ pls go check them out}}

my ao3 is jxmimac but I haven’t posted anything (yet?)

My Fandoms include:

Merlin

Mphfpc(Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children)

X-men

Marvel(+mcu)

Arcane League Of Legends

Chronicle[2012]

Hazbin Hotel

Lockwood&Co

Marauders

The Maze Runner

The Hunger Games

Spiderman(+spiderverse)

Harry Potter(but I don’t support transphobia obvs)

DC titans

Gorillaz

The Owl House

(I’ll add more as I go along because I’ve most definitely forgotten some)

{{And yes I had to do them all in fancy colours because it’s more fun that way}}

I can get behind most ships but my favourite atm include Rosekiller(marauders), Enorace(Mphfpc), spideypool(marvel/xmen), Jaygar(DC titans) and Newtmas(the maze runner)

My Mutuals:✨💜

(Go check their blogs out)

@kieranmustdie @andyxcds @theosb0rnway @inkshroomz @turkeygirl47 @my-castles-crumbling

₊˚✧Thank you for reading₊˚✧

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Welcome to the Family

If you want your description changed just tell me <3

According to @justarandomhumanpassingby I'm the paradesi philosopher <3

This is a (in progress) list of my tumblr family:

@dori-and-gray: my irreplaceable bestie who i love to the moon and back

@goodoldfashionedluvergirl: the beautiful, talented, lovable and honey voiced older sister

@the-eternal-seeker: the chill, oldest and wisest quadruplet who's always there to help; the only one in this family possessing anything resembling sanity

@technically-bean: my incredible quadruplet sister who always laughing and crying with me and whose probably either covered in dirt or reading another sad book)

@maddipoof: my other incredible twin quadruplet who thinks on the same wave length as me

@anyavaramyr: he therapist of my friend group who needs therapy herself heh(I'm broke, tumblr is less expensive than therapy). That one anxiety riddled perfectionist of the group tbh but I've been told I'm like the chaotic yet caring younger sister<3

@loverliner: my lil sister whos always vibing

@just-another-godless-god: my mischievous lil sister

@king-of-dholakpur: the oldest, deep thinking cousin who always knows what to say

@non-possum-invenire-bonum-url: the older, unhinged cousin who says everything i think but would never say (love your bio by the way)

@starlit-epiphany: my amazing supportive cousin who's been helping me in my identity crisis

@remen-nyoodles: my secret keeping cousin who I love dearly

@writingwitch007: my other secret keeping cousin who i love dearly and teases me incessantly

@chandrayee: the slightly fucked in the head cousin who randomly drops by animal facts!! (her words not mine; i can't tell you how hard i laughed at that 🤣)

@merapehlapyaarwaapasaagaya: my wonderful mother who i'd never forget

@midnight-rainnnn: the adorable cousin who is loved by everyone

@ishqhai-aapse: roach in my house that is secretly your granny that likes to sit in silence and read books xD

@yehdilkahehaye: the fun trying-to-act-like-an-adult cousin who will give you wise advices from time to time but will actually end up supporting you in all your insane decisions <3

@the-phantom-of-arda: The creative cousin who is quietly supportive of whatever you do. Who's DMs are a judgment-free zone and are willing to talk about anything.. she's too shy to DM first but wants to be friends.

Indumathi: my secret, anonymous admirer 🌕💘

@sincerelyyoursg: my beloved wife 💍

@shyamsakhii: hill dude who just likes to rant to friends and gossip and always misses it when the gc comes alive 😀🔫

@ell0ra-br3kk3r: the neighbor friend who's part time musician, part time author part time sane but unhinged at the same time; love to go by their house when they're back from paris

@ultimategenius: neighbor who i've adopted (welcome to the family)

@offo-yashika: one of the cousin's queer girlfriend who always rocks the stage with their dance<3

@kaagazkefool: the beloved latest addition to the fam who's excited and nervous of they'd fit

@thebestieyoureinlovewith: the friend that will give endless headpats

@mee-iykyk: the extroverted friend who adopts introverts

@insanity-is-my-vanity: my new friend (you’re mine now)

@inxj-ghxfa: the mom friend who gives out questionable, but reliable advice

@justarandomhumanpassingby: some person i claimed off the streets; saw them and was like "you're mine now" <3

@morningmiss: the cousin who checks up on me from time to time ♥

@vamp-rom-stuff: ellora's friend she brought back from her trip to France

@a-really-hot-caterpillar: we ain't mutuals yet but i'd be an idiot not to add him so he's my newest unhinged brother (adopted <3)

@hopefulmillennial: my favorite aunt (you remind me of my favorite aunt irl <3)

I love that like 80 percent of my tumblr family is desi 💖💝💕

reply what description you wanna be added with <3

@yehdilkahehaye, @humapkehaikaun, @hell-lit011019, @shyamsakhii, @anyavaramyr, @bookish-alone, @bibliophile-dendrophile, @iservemydog, @oh-sita, @moons-scar, @loverliner, @woahlifehitsyahuh, @the-phantom-of-arda, @puppy-coded, @sanskari-kanya

literally anyone who wants to join can join :)

If your name isn't up here please tell me; some of them are just disappearing.

[valleyfthdolls]

Y’know what this post is gonna seem silly to my followers and mutuals who do know anything about sonic but I keep seeing people (who will never see this post bc we don’t follow each other) get some basic stuff abt the series wrong when they’re new to the fandom so I’m just gonna set some stuff straight, just put it on the record:

If you google “how old is sonic” it will say like 35. Sonic the series is more than 30 years old. Sonic the character is 15.

The reason Sonic is such a “bad boyfriend” to Amy is that they’re not dating; Amy has a crush on him they both know is unrequited and they both seem to have accepted that, though it doesn’t stop Amy from being especially lovey-dovey over Sonic at times.

Knuckles is an echidna. This is a real animal. Look them up, they’re very cute.

Amy is a hedgehog. She does look like an echidna to the point she’s been theorized to be a hybrid, but canonically, she’s a hedgehog.

Shadow is not 50 nor is he 65. He is intentionally framed as being from 50 years ago, not 50+ years old. It’s akin to Aang- he was in cryostasis for 50 years and didn’t age at all. He’s often believed to be ageless, but appears to have a similar maturity level and bodily age (?) to Sonic, Knuckles and Silver.

There is no relation between Sonic, Shadow, and Silver. They’re just 3 unrelated weird hedgehogs.

No ships in the series are canon. If someone tells you they are they’re lying. Some characters canonically have crushes, but they have mandates against relationships entirely.

Shadow is implied to have PTSD. They sometimes miss the mark when writing him, but this is the core reason for his initial cold and brooding attitude.

Knuckles is black and indigenous coded. Sonic is also generally believed to be black coded as well. (autisticshadowthehedgehog has a good post on this.)

Most if not all of the characters excluding Vector, Rouge, all parents, all visibly middle aged or older characters, and maybe a couple others are children or teens. Being horny about them is generally considered weird.

Re: the IDW comics, Surge the Tenrec isn’t a Sonic clone. Tenrecs are believed to be more closely related to elephants than hedgehogs if that says enough.

They’re also a real animal. Very cute. Spiny mammals are the best

This one’s not something people get wrong but when starting the IDW comics, the metal virus story arc is often considered to be very bleak and difficult to handle, with things just constantly getting worse for the cast no matter what they do before it hits you with “next time: from bad to worse!” three quarters of the way through and you realize these characters still have something to lose and can and will lose it. It’s the closest to horror the series ever has or probably will come, though it is of course a children’s comic so that’s not necessarily saying it’s particularly horrifying, and it genuinely did get tough to read at times. A lot of fans consider it to be quite distressing or disturbing, so I’d skip it if you don’t know if you can handle that.

Anyway that’s all I can think of rn so if anyone else has anything they think should be cleared up for new fans please feel free to add on

[deathxproof]

hiiiii. hi. hiii. the thing is in recent history whenever I say I want to make an effort to start using this blog more I accidentally clown on myself. Which in retrospect is always kinda funny.

between new doctor who and schedule changes and stuff I am finally getting the fucking itch and ENERGY to start writing more often again. And I would like to use this blog more often again with that!!

BUT While I’m at it!!! If you wanna roleplay, plot, catch-up, etc, feel free to DM me, or you can catch me on discord @ canisonicscrewyou . And if you want to write or keep-up or anything else, I’m always Super Active on my personal blog @canisonicscrewyou <- mutuals & nonmutuals welcome to add/follow me on either !! I’ve been roleplaying way more on discord recently, and also oddly enough in the DMs of my personal blog + its side blogs.

but !!! hiiiiii hiiiiiiiiiiii I miss being here I miss the folks here. and a little life update: I’m also going by Ryker too/again!! :3 back in rotation. still call me Andrew too, that is also still my name.

[potential-fate]

Navigation // Masterpost

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m WCIF friendly, but I also have a lot of old stuff in my game, so I can’t guarantee anything. I should at least be able to give you names though! Please send them via ask though, otherwise I might miss them or forget!

I make TS2 CC exclusively (you will find no ts4 cc here.) and write semi-interesting soap opera style posts based vaguely around gameplay. (with a lot of artistic liberty.) That being said, my writing has some darker themes. I tag appropriately with “tw xxx” as the standard. (ie: “tw death”) please read at your own risk. I’m willing to add extra tw tags for regular readers/mutuals/etc if you send me a dm.

if you follow me with an empty blog that has no pfp or a generic ‘hot person’ pfp I’m gonna assume you’re a bot and block you. just a heads up.

(if you only want to see my posts, and no reblogs, all my posts are tagged "my posts" for more specifics, read on)

Current Story (Master Post)

Ten years ago, Arkhelios' "quiet" town was thrown into chaos when one of their beloved founders, Abraham Helios, was found murdered in the park one late night. With no real leads, and no laws as safety nets in place, the case went cold and the town hasn't been the same since. Salem Bellamy stepped up to take over in Abraham's wake, but the peace that followed is strained at best. With new complications on the rise, and the older generation fighting to establish a social hierarchy, the younger generation of residents struggle to find their place, and move on from their traumatic childhoods. But can one really move on, when what's dead and buried doesn't stay that way?

My Custom Content:

// [pfate tag] // (All my CC) // [Whole SFS Folder] // (it might be a mess) // [Google Doc Master Post] // (includes images) // [Object Default Database] // (a GD database for ts2 B/B defaults) // [Pearshape Fat Morph Project] // (info || tag)

Note:

My custom content follows the same tagging system I use for cc finds, so it will also be mixed in with those tags if you’re looking for something specific. You can also find only my custom content via the “dl: xxx” tags (ie: “dl: hair”) or on my Pillowfort.

TOU is basically just don’t say you made it yourself, feel free to do whatever you want with it though, just don’t put anything created with my shit behind a paywall… and idek a link/credit or an @ would be pretty chill. it’s not 100% necessary though.

I don’t really take requests, but feel free to make a suggestion. Just don’t be alarmed if I say I’m not interested.

(hiatus/retired) Pleasantview Fanfic. ((Master Post))

What happened in Pleasantview after Bella Goth's disappearance? How did the other citizens fare from the aftermath, and how does one exactly grow up when your parents can't seem to get a handle on their own lives? Follow the slice-of-life storyline of the teens and young adults from pleasantview, with a few cameos from other neighborhoods.

Other’s Content:

(Other simmer’s works, these will all also be generally tagged: reblog) —————————————————————————————— Sims 2 Custom Content Finds Tag Masterpost —————————————————————————————— Other common tags: Sims Artwork // Sims Memes // Sims 4 // sims stories ——————————————————————————————

Stories to Read list

The occasional TS4 post I make will be tagged pfate ts4

[hellmastermiller]

I’m sorry about your mom. As far as coping goes, I’m pretty emotionally stunted but here’s some (admittedly quite common) stuff I use which you’ve probably heard of:

Make a checklist of things you should/could do in a day to keep yourself from skipping out. It’s easy to just sink into the floor and not do anything, and the checklist hold you slightly accountable. Start off with more easily attainable daily goals (ex. today I will clean my desk) and then begin to add some things (ex. today I will clean my desk + bed).

Talk to people: they say this one helps the most, and I’m sure you know this. Think about how you’d feel talking to a stranger in a support group V.S a friend. If it sounds more appealing, you can take a step toward finding a free group/one you can afford. Hell, if you post this ask giving me the green light, I could even DM you if you’d like. We’re mutuals but we’ve never directly spoken

Know that maybe even a year from now, the grief can hit you in an unexpected way, and that’ll be okay. A close family member of mine died about 10 years ago and sometimes I wind up feeling sick with how much I miss them. I don’t think the feeling ever leaves, you just learn to sort of… accept that it’s there and always will be

And as everyone always says, be nice to yourself. Have a sweet treat. Try to go on a short walk around your block. Seek new emotional experiences— maybe go see a movie you’re excited about or rewatch one that you love. Pick up a hobby you haven’t recently indulged in and try it out again.

Grief is weird, and it sucks. But it’s natural and it’s okay to always feel a little bit sad over losing someone. I wish you nothing but the best.

thank u so much. i'm emotionally stunted asf too so the last three months has been absolutely crazy LMAO. i'll dump more dramatic stuff under the cut so ppl don't have 2 listen to my whining

but thank you. this means a lot to me, i'll fucking print this out n glue it to my screen to force myself to remember. feel free to dm me if you want, but only if you want to; i'll probably just bitch and sob and whine a lot, so don't feel pressured at all. listening to someone go on and on can be so mentally draining, but your offer means the world to me. thank u <3

but yeah, i heard that grief is just forever. i guess it's like mental illness in a way. it never goes away, but you learn to cope. i hope you have people there for you when you miss your family member.

TW DEATH!!! TALKING ABT DEATH1!!! SOIRRY!!!!

i was the one who found my mom dead so i feel like that just added another layer 2 the insanity. i forced myself to see her a few times before the cremation too, hoping it'll make everything click, but it's that adhd "out of sight out of mind" type beat. it makes grief so stupidly hard.

i've been the glue keeping my dad n bro together too. i still remember being the one to clean her fluids from the wall and the carpet while they sobbed and it was so fucked up. answering questions from the cops and paramedics. dealing with funeral arrangements.

my father and i found a fucking dent in the wall from where her head hit too. it's the fucking outside wall too, so she hit her head on it so fucking hard that the plaster came off. it breaks my heart. we had such a difficult relationship too so it just makes everything all the more painful. the regret is so real.

i found so much out about her too after she'd died. so many little things i could've used to talk to her, to bond, to help her. drives me up the fuckin' wall, man. makes me fucking crash out.

and not to sound like an idiot, but one of my guinea pigs fucking DIED like a few weeks after her too and it actually broke me LMAO. my mom bought those pigs, so to lose one of them just fucking shattered me.

even worse is that his brother doesn't give a shit, so i have one guinea pig who is absolutely thriving because he gets the entire room to himself now. (for anyone who knows my guinea pigs, IT'S DAVID THAT DIED. ELI LIVED. rip solid snake :( )

[wastrelwoods]

Got tag-gamed by El @willgrahambf!! Posting the list of all my current WIPs by title/description/whatever I have for them and then tagging as many people as there are WIPs!  If you want to know more about any of them in particular send me an ask or a reply and I’ll find u a snippet or similar.

mille-fleur | nbc hannibal | abigail-centric primavera au, just sort of digging my teeth into the concept of abigail just happening to not die when she was supposed to Again and the way the cycles can keep cycling from there

and the deep blue sea | nbc hannibal | season one will character study I have been chipping away at forever made up of missing scenes and macabre fantastical dream sequences

fitcher’s bird | nbc hannibal | crimson peak au! hannibal and mischa lecter as a couple of codependent bluebeards and will in his haunted gothic heroine era...still working on the setup because i think it’s going to get long and involved but the vibes are really exciting to me

“genghis khan music video au” | our flag means death | i can’t look directly at fandom spaces for this show really but the goofy shenanigans of it did infect my brain so i am keeping this around for when the time is right. maybe by season 2. ANYWAY stede’s an off-brand james bond ed is a criminal mastermind they do a little dance make a little love etc

quicksilver in your hand | the left hand of darkness | god. fuck i was just consumed by the thought of pre-canon estraven pining for the weird alien. trying to make some of it happen but the way i need a glossary on hand makes it a little slow going

.....and that’s what I have! shorter than I expected but my list of unwritten ideas is much longer; the stuff i have actually put hands to keyboard about is blissfully brief. I am also not counting anything partly written that I will probably never have a reason to finish and post or we would be here all damn day!

damn the hannibal mutuals are tagging each other already well let me add @chaotic-plotter who may well have been tagged already and then ask around for @eternalgirlscout and @motherfuckingnazgul and @returnsandreturns and @heliological in the wider fandomsphere since we’ve been writing in different circles but I’d love to see what y’all are up to. FEEL free to ignore me or talk about original projects instead or whatever floats your boat