#the climax of the movie or i just didn’t care for their story

[send-me-a-puffalope]

just watched the new ghostbusters movie with my friend and truly, awkward teenage lesbians will both end and save the world.

[bakudekublogblog]

i hear you and I agree with everything you’re saying and I also miss izuku’s thoughts about kacchan but also izuku also looks at kacchan like this

It's horrible to be utterly convinced that Katsuki is in love with Izuku without really being able to say definitively that Izuku is in love with Katsuki...aghh there's so much to say about certain hints and very overt things for Mr. "Kacchan Bakugou" but I feel like I haven't seen...or more accurately heard how Izuku feels. I know he loves him but Is he in love with him? Can I say that without thinking I could be wrong? No I don't think I can...but damnit! The parallels to other straight and gay couples in media is so interesting like the Berserk ref in cover 37...or the pretty constant references to taro cards...Izuku the devil in between togachako's lovers ((WHAT DOES THAT MEAN SERIOUSLY)), the three of swords in the blackwhip explosion...the "WAH--CCHAN!!" ref to a romance trope as well as to Blue Flag...the "share a crepe with" line also potentially Blue Flag..."TROY" and the battle being referenced OUT THE WAZOO with Achilles and Patroclus playing out almost exactly as the Illid described ((Literally THE most famous couple of gaybos in all historical literature--they are well known for being speculative lovers! It's mentioned in English classes when you read it))...Katsuki's parents...Katsuki's parents...the way other manga like "name I can't remember..." where they would reference MHA outright with the girl falling down and then refusing to take the male lead's hand to get up. It feels like so much but also nothing at all because all of it (( no matter how overt)) is STILL being read into from subtext. idk I think I just needed to vent.

[shushmal]

Stranger to Myself (I think of Home)

For @steddie-week Day 5! Rated T — Check the tags and content warnings!

Eddie is a monster.

Eddie started watching Steve because it didn’t hurt so bad. Didn’t hurt like it does with every glimpse he catches of Wayne, of Dustin. The people who had loved Eddie when he was Eddie. But Steve—Steve was safe. Steve was a boy Eddie knew in passing glances and high school gossip, a guy who was laughing with his friends in another room at every party, a man who planted his feet and fought monsters and helped save the world. Steve who told Eddie to be safe, because Steve was kind when he didn't have to be, when he wasn't expected to—so Eddie finds himself watching Steve instead.

Because Eddie is a monster, and Steve knows exactly what to do with monsters. Eddie knows this.

To Steve, it wouldn't matter that Eddie is the last little bit of the apocalypse still kicking around Hawkins. Eddie who had been chewed up and spat out of hell at the last second, just before the final dungeon slammed shut, sneaking through the shadows unseen, past the unsuspecting heroes wrapped up in their victory. Past his friends, the people who had tried to keep Eddie safe. Past Dustin, who’s face had already been changed by grief.

Past Steve, as well. Steve, who told Eddie to be safe, and Eddie hadn’t.

Eddie wonders sometimes, what Vecna really had in mind for him. 

But Eddie is just an unfinished experiment, not quite who he used to be, but not yet the thing Vecna had been trying to twist him into, before the wrinkly ballsack bastard bit it and disintegrated into dust like some b-grade horror movie villain written by some unimaginative hack that shouldn’t have even been in the writer’s room.

He’s the last piece of the Upside Down, Vecna’s last monster, but Eddie’s worst crime post-resurrection is a bit of misdemeanor stalking, simple battery, and animal cruelty. A guy’s gotta eat, afterall. It had taken a while to figure out his own exact brand of vampirism, but Eddie’s gone a few years now without killing anything or anyone. He would be proud of it, but instead he watches Steve make dinner and feels sick on the aftertaste of iron and salt still coating his tongue.

Eddie had started watching Steve because it didn’t hurt, because Steve would take care of it, if Eddie ever needed to be put down. Eddie knows this.

So, it didn’t hurt so bad to watch Steve—until it did. 

By then, Eddie was too far gone and couldn’t stop.

His Steve who came back to his lonely castle, days and days after that final battle, after the climax of the story, the end of a legend, still bloody and scorched, none the wiser to the monster peering through his windows, watching. And that was Eddie’s first clue, that was how Eddie first learned that he wasn’t really Eddie anymore—that nervous energy he used to have in life had died with him. Now he sits motionless in the tall pines behind Steve’s house for hours and days, unmoving, as he watches Steve live. 

Sometimes, Steve looks out his window, eyes scanning the treetops like he knows Eddie’s there. Everytime, Eddie sits up a little straighter, like a dog eager for attention. But everytime, Steve’s eyes drift past him, unseeing, searching.

It leaves Eddie—already out of step with life, with humanity—a little unsettled, a little too hopeful. Eddie is a thing that shouldn’t be seen ever again, a dead man without a heartbeat, without breath in his lungs, without a reason to exist and yet still here. He wishes he were still dead. He wishes even more that Steve knew he was there, that Steve was looking for him. But Eddie knows better. Eddie can’t go to Steve, because Eddie is a monster and Steve has fought enough monsters. Eddie doesn’t want to get added to the list. He doesn’t want to do that to Steve.

Eddie sits in the trees instead, unmoving and watching for days and weeks. Sometimes he leaves, to feed. Sometimes he stands in the middle of Steve’s empty house when he’s gone, breathing in the lonely silence. Sometimes, he closes his eyes and dreams.

But they’re never his own dreams.

And he never, ever visits anyone else in their sleep, in their dreams and nightmares. No one, except for Steve. His Steve, who’s dreaming of a summer day, sun high in the sky, sitting on the top of skull rock with a six pack and a cigarette. It’s such a simple, beautiful dream. All of Steve’s dreams are like that. Eddie watches the line of Steve’s neck as he tilts his head back in the sunlight, face catching the July warmth.

Steve doesn’t startle when Eddie sits beside him. Just leans in until his head rests on Eddie’s shoulder. It’s beautiful, he’s so beautiful, Eddie wants to cry.

“I miss you,” Steve whispers, like it’s a secret. He presses a smile into Eddie’s jacket. “Isn’t that silly? I barely even knew you.”

Eddie has to swallow back the emotion filling his throat. “Yeah, that’s pretty silly,” he croaks.

“I wanted to though,” Steve sighs. He leans even closer, hands grasping at Eddie’s sleeve, the back of his shirt, and Eddie wishes they could melt into each other, become one thing, become Steve with just Eddie hiding between Steve’s ribs, in his blood, sitting in the center of his chest right next to his heart. “I wanted to know you. I wanted to kiss you so bad.”

If this were real, if they were really sitting on skull rock in the sunlight right now, if Eddie was human, he would be crying. But here, in Steve’s dream, he doesn’t, can’t. Maybe Steve doesn’t want him to be sad.

“Really?” he breathes instead. “Me?”

Steve hums, his hand sliding down into Eddie’s, fingers warm, soft. “Robin calls you my Great Bisexual Awakening.”

Eddie barks a laugh, throwing his head back. He wants to be sobbing, but he laughs instead and when he stops, Steve is looking up at him, painted dream soft and sweet. They watch each other, Eddie cataloging the specks of gold and green in Steve’s eyes. He’s beautiful. 

But then Steve blinks, and the corner of his mouth turns down, smile falling away. Eddie feels his skin prickle. He feels watched.

“I miss you,” Steve says again, urgent. And then, just like that, he smiles again, and the feeling’s gone, and Steve presses his face once more into Eddie’s shoulder. “Tell me something.”

Eddie tries to shake off the feeling of disquiet, to relax back into the tenderness of Steve’s dream. “Like what?”’

“Something I don’t know.” He’s beautiful, so beautiful, and Eddie adores him, loves him so much.

“I wanted to kiss you, too.”

Eddie opens his eyes, his breath sharp in the silent forest, and watches as Steve sits up in his bed, gripping the blankets tight in his fists. Even from here, in his haven in the trees, he can see the tears on Steve’s face. He never wants Steve to cry.

When morning comes, he steals into Steve’s home, buries himself in the lingering warmth of his sheets after Steve leaves for work. The fading smell of him is intoxicating, even the salty sting of Steve’s tears, and Eddie wants so desperately. Wants him from the pain in his throat, the hitch in his breath, the way he’s been hollowed from the inside out. Everything has been taken out of Eddie, scooped from between his ribs and scraped smooth, an empty jack o’lantern waiting to rot on the front step. 

The wanting is worse than the starving, the thirst. Eddie can’t cry anymore, he isn’t human enough to, but he wishes he could.

Instead, he lays in Steve’s bed, breathes him in, and disappears into the woods behind Steve’s home when he hears the rumble of Steve’s car turn onto the street. He watches as Steve falls into the bed, long gone cold since Eddie has soaked up all the warmth from the blankets in the long hours of Steve's absence. He watches, a monster, as Steve’s eyes glance through the window, eyes on the trees. Straightens up, hoping and wanting, and slumps as that gaze slides past him. He watches Steve’s evening with longing building in his chest, and when Steve slips beneath his covers, Eddie closes his eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks.

Steve is sitting on the edge of his roof in this dream, watching the forest intently. He doesn’t turn his head towards Eddie, caught on a particular spot in the woods.

“You, I think. At least, I think it’s you. I hope it’s you.”

Eddie leans in close, hoping that Steve will turn his eyes, to look at Eddie, to give him that sweet, dreamy smile. “You shouldn’t bother waiting for something like me,” he tells Steve, desperate for those pretty eyes to look at him. “You should be happy.”

“I am happy,” Steve murmurs. He doesn’t look happy. He doesn’t look at Eddie. He watches the distant trees, standing guard. “I’m happy waiting. I think I can wait forever.”

Eddie doesn’t dare touch him, doesn’t dare turn Steve’s head. Even though it hurts. It hurts so bad, so Eddie opens his eyes. In the distance, Steve turns in his bed, chest expanding with a sleepy sigh, and doesn’t leave his dreams.

Morning comes again, and the night falls again, morning and night and morning. Eddie rises from his perch, glides closer to the empty house to steal through the unlocked door. He lays in Steve’s bed, in the shadow of Steve’s warmth left on the sheets. Breathes him in, even though Eddie needs no air. He leaves when he hears the rumble of a familiar engine. Night falls. He closes his eyes.

Eddie watches the way Steve sits on the edge of his roof again, feet dangling, eyes scanning the treeline at the back of his house, quiet and sentry. Like he’s waiting for another monster to appear between the tree trunks. Eddie sits beside him, and doesn’t speak, not even when Steve whispers, only once.

“I miss you.”

Morning comes again, and then night. Sun and moon, wax and wane. The summer heat does not bother Eddie, nor does the winter snow. He imagines building a family of snowmen in Steve’s yard, company for a lonely house. No one visits Steve here. Like they’d forgotten Steve altogether, and Eddie’s the only one left to bear witness to Steve Harrington. Steve who is lonely, who sleeps and dreams and waits for the monster in the woods. Or maybe…

Maybe Steve told them not to come here. Because here is only for Steve, and only for Eddie.

Night falls, and then the morning breaks. Steve doesn’t rise from the bed.

Uneasily, Eddie shifts. Snow slides from his shoulders, landing in heavy thumps on the forest floor below him. He watches as Steve rolls onto his back, arm over his eyes, mouth twisted in pain. Even from here, he can see the tears on Steve’s face. He watches Steve lay in bed the entire day, until night falls. Eddie closes his eyes.

Steve’s dream isn’t a dream this time—a vast darkness instead, stretching long and far. Eddie takes a hesitant step. Water splashes beneath his bare foot. He turns.

And suddenly, it’s like he can hear Steve in his ear, whispering, “I’m happy waiting. I think I can wait forever.”

Eddie turns again, and Steve is there, watching, waiting. Eddie feels the instinct of it, the prickling awareness of being seen. It settles over his skin, sharp and biting like ants. Eddie is the monster, and Steve has found him. His gaze roots Eddie where he stands, water lapping against his toes. The ripples roll away from him, stretching the unreachable distance between Eddie and Steve, distant stars, until they crash against Steve’s feet, and the water settles again, falls calm.

“I miss you though,” Steve whispers, right into Eddie’s ear. “I can wait forever, but I miss you.”

“Really?” Eddie asks. It echoes through the dark. He can see the way Steve smiles, even from so far away.

“Of course,” Steve whispers. “I’m waiting for—”

Dawn breaks through the trees, and Eddie opens his eyes with a gasp. The sound is sharp through the silent forest. Morning mist rises from the pine strewn ground. Steve isn’t in his bed anymore, and Eddie feels himself almost panic, gaze searching.

Searching, until he finds Steve, not even three feet up, sitting above his window on the roof. He stares out into the trees, stares right at Eddie, finally sees the monster in the woods. That gaze raises the hair on Eddie’s arm, animal instinct tightening his muscles, his bones. Steve watches him from his perch on the roof, watches Eddie watch him back. 

He’s the most beautiful thing Eddie’s ever seen.

Because Steve’s not standing guard. He’s waiting. Waiting for the thing in the woods, for Eddie to finally come home.

Eddie shouldn’t, shouldn’t go to him, but now that he knows, how can he make Steve wait a moment longer? 

Steve gasps when he appears, but it’s not fear in his eyes when he looks at Eddie. Eddie feels it again, feels watched, feels seen. Steve looks up at him and his smile is the most beautiful thing Eddie’s ever seen.

“There you are,” he whispers. “I missed you."

[graciesbow]

Please pleaseeeeee write a Severus Snape x reader who’s obsessed with musicals and drags him to see wicked and sings musical songs (like wicked/mamma Mia/sweeney Todd of course/hamilton) at home constantly

In honor of me seeing wicked 7 times I thought I'd write this :) ( I have so many one shots lined up) (let's also pretend the movie is act one and act two I got too ahead of myself)

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR WICKED!!

You didn’t think you’d ever convince him to come.

The second you saw the trailer for Wicked, a movie musical inspired by Wicked: the musical, you knew you had to go. The soaring ballads, the lush costumes, the reimagining of the Land of Oz—it was everything you loved in a story. But getting Severus, your brooding, no-nonsense husband, to agree to two and a half hours of singing and dancing? That felt like a lost cause.

Still, you tried.

“I’ll owe you,” you had said, leaning on the kitchen counter as he skimmed the headlines on his tablet. “Whatever you want. A week of your favorite movies. Even the ones with subtitles.”

His dark eyes flicked to you, amused. “A week of no musicals?”

“Deal.”

And so, here you are, sitting next to him in a theater as the lights dim and the first lilting notes of Wicked play. Severus is already slouched in his seat, arms crossed, his usual look of resigned skepticism firmly in place.

The movie begins with the birth of Elphaba, the green-skinned girl destined to become the Wicked Witch of the West. The opening number is vibrant and grand, but you can feel him shift beside you, hear the faintest huff of disapproval when characters burst into song.

“Of course,” he mutters under his breath when Glinda makes her grand entrance in a bubble, singing an impossibly high note.

“Shh,” you whisper, elbowing him gently. “Just watch.”

An hour in, you notice the change.

It starts during Defying Gravity, a powerful ballad where Elphaba begins to question everything she’s been told about Oz. The actress’s voice fills the theater, raw and full of longing, and you glance at Severus. His arms are no longer crossed. He’s leaning forward slightly, his eyes fixed on the screen.

By the time Elphaba and Glinda perform their duet, For Good, a tear-jerking number about friendship and forgiveness, you catch him tapping his foot ever so subtly.

When the movie reaches its dramatic climax, with Elphaba and the Scarecrow defying the Wizard, you feel him tense beside you. It’s subtle, but you know Severus well enough to see it. He’s invested. He cares.

As the credits roll, you sit in your seat for a moment, watching the audience filter out. You’re glowing, your heart full from the story and the music. Beside you, Severus stretches, his expression thoughtful.

“Well?” you ask, trying to keep the teasing out of your voice.

He tilts his head, his mouth twitching into something almost like a smile. “It wasn’t terrible.”

You laugh. “Not terrible? I saw you tapping your foot during For Good. Admit it—you liked it.”

He shrugs, standing and offering you his hand. “The green witch was interesting. I’ll give it that.”

As you take his hand, his grip warm and firm, you can’t help but smile. “So, would you come to another one with me?”

“Maybe,” he says, that rare flicker of lightness in his voice. “If you don’t make me watch any more bubble entrances.”

You beam, knowing full well he’ll be there next time, humming the songs under his breath when he thinks you’re not listening. Sometimes, even the most stubborn hearts find their tune.

[azumasoroshi]

suzume no tojimari spoilers ! hi guys im Insane

literature analysis brain is going haywire so here’s a bunch of incoherent ramblings some themes motifs and symbolism i love in this movie because AAAAAAA

Love and Sacrifice.

Obviously, but like the different kinds of love and devotion and how they’re never perfect and sometimes self-destructive but they’re so powerful and just waughhh. It was so important to me how after exploding at her Tamaki (suzume’s aunt, ik im not the only one who forgets names) was like “you know I don’t feel that way all the time, right?” like not denying that yes, she has felt exhausted of taking care of Suzume and sometimes wished she didn’t have to take care of her, trying to be the parental figure she needs while also trying to not encroach on her sister’s memory. It means so much to me that she didn’t deny those feelings but instead told Suzume that it’s not how she always feels, because loving someone means sacrifice and ewughghgghfgfh im not putting this into words well but htrggfhgf.

and ALSO the reciprocation of kindness with daijin - as thanks for the taste of freedom at last, and wanting to be with someone whom you love but not really comprehending that what they want (that “suzume doesn’t love me” killed me) and how by the end daijin helped her pull souta out and sacrificed himself for suzume because he really loved her ggrgfggfhfnfnch

And just. everyday love. This is kind of a mix of themes and motifs but every time we flashed back to the memories of whatever abandoned place they were in - the simple “good morning”s and “be back soon” and “it’s so hot”s made me choke up. the mundane love of Chika and Suzume in their newly found friendship, Rumi’s kindness in picking Suzume up off the street and her love for her children, Serizawa’s platonic love for Souta letting him drive these two crazy women with crazy beef for 7 hours across Japan, there’s just so much expression of love and the hardships people go through because of it and rhgrjgrjhgdhgjhb

Mourning and Closure.

Makoto Shinkai himseld said that he wanted to write a story about “mourning deserted places” (at least according to Wikipedia) so this one is all but textual but like yeah. the motif of opening/closing/locking doors and locking the bike and things like that? AaAAaAaa

To close the gates, you need to imagine the emotions of people who once lived there - i can only imagine what Souta was thinking in the abandoned bathhouse area, but hrhggejghw the school and the amusement park and the shots we got of normal life in tokyo before the worm revealed itself in the climax, it just. really speaks to the beauty of everyday life. im a sucker for that kind of stuff as both a psychology major and just a weird person who thinks “man i wonder what happened to this person for the past 22 years of their life that led them to be here with me in this moment” whenever i pass someone in the grocery store. Hodaka could let japan be flooded in weathering with you because of his love for hina, but suzume’s whole arc was learning about the common people and living their lives and embracing all the kindness they had to offer to herself and others and it really hits that like. of course she can’t just let tokyo get destroyed to save Souta, every person in all of tokyo is just like Rumi and Chika and Serizawa and they’re all people who love and are loved. She finds herself in Souta’s place as one who stretches himself thin between being a gate closer and studying to be a teacher because he loves life as well, and-

oops i forgot i was talking about mourning and closure

anyway the doors keep getting reopened because the grief never fully goes away and the worm of “calamity” is letting yourself be consumed by the grief and destroying the people around you and not being able to move on, and it comes from the Ever-after becomes ever-after is a place where time doesn’t exist and you wish you could be there forever because it’s where you can relive the events of your past, it’s where you can live in denial that time moves forward and you have to move with it, it’s where Suzume goes after her mother dies because she wants people to stop giving her condolences and just give her her mom back. “Ever-after” in itself is a “happily ever after” - a place where mortals aren’t meant to go, no matter how beautiful it looks. Souta goes there too because he is the catalyst Suzume needs to go back and face Ever-after - and it’s no longer beautiful, but it’s torn apart by grief and everything is in flames. The idea of a keystone as well, locking the memories and hurt away, is one that Suzume removes to relive her memories and puts back in place when she’s ready to move on. htrhgfhgfghfghf. she won’t let souta be the keystone because she refuses to move on without him.

Also both Souta and his grandfather tell Suzume to just forget everything she’s seen, but it’s too late for that because connections aren’t so easily forgotten. Even when Tamaki couldn’t remember telling Suzume she’d be her new mother, that doesn’t change that she cared for her for the next 12 years anyway. Suzume visits Chika and Rumi by the end, and obviously she’s never forgotten her mother, both because her chair was still in her room by the start of the movie and because she looks like her by the end. Even though relationships change, they’re never forgotten in the movie, and I think that’s beautiful, really.

(also cool detail: 12 years ago is when the tsunami that killed suzume’s mother struck. the movie came out in 2023, and the touhoku earthquake/tsunami that inspired this film was in 2011. nice)

Reality vs Fantasy

The scenes where Suzume goes out into public again following stopping the worm from destroying Tokyo were especially poignant to me. This girl’s been going on a fantastical adventure with her talking chair and talking cat, meeting nice people and making friends, excited at the idea that she’s doing something important, but after Souta’s gone she shuts down. Her feet are bloodied, her clothes are destroyed, and people keep giving her strange looks and calling her homeless because she may have stopped the worm but even without being consumed by grief, it still isn’t pretty or picturesque. Standing out in Japanese society is discouraged, as most of us are well aware, but she’s been doing nothing but that with all the running around and talking to chairs and flying through the sky she’s been doing. Without a concrete goal in mind, without Souta as company, she’s alone in the world of adulthood and has no one to tell her what she should do, no Souta to guide her through Tokyo. And without that confidence or charm, people don’t come to her aid like they did before. It’s only once she finds her resolve to save Souta, quite literally walking in his shoes/footsteps, that the next helpful stranger (Serizawa) comes in.

She could imagine those abandoned places as alive, but the truth is that they were abandoned and will stay that way - none of them miraculously revived by the end, unless something happened in the credits that I couldn’t see through all my tears. Reality will not bring those places back, but what really matters is how we carry the memories of those places with us? I think. man maybe it’d be easier to write this post if i had actually seen the end credits

this post is really fucking long so im calling it here 😭 makoto shinkai has done it again. goddammit

[altf4d3lete]

Wednesday series takes itsef far more seriously than the movies. Murder is a serious thing in the story. Here we won't find a poor girl cooked inside a cake and get a "C'est la vie!" joke. While W herself is proud of having of mutilated Dalton, seeing it as a rightful retribution, it's clear that she despises senseless murder, or killing for pleasure. EG when Enid tells her she's sorry for Xavier, W answers, without regrets, that he was a liar and a murderer, implying he deserved to be jailed.

BUT she accepts murder as a mean to protect others or themselves. When Enid and W see eachother again after the battle, for what W knows, if E is alive that means she killed Tyler. W saw what a Hyde is capable to do, and doesn't know that the Sheriff shot his own son, so the only conclusion she can reach is that if Enid survived then Tyler is dead, or so mauled that he's dying. So, Enid killed somebody, yet Wednesday reciprocates the hug. The emotional climax of the show was never about Tyler, it was for Wednesday to open completely to the girl who constantly offered her friendship without losing hope. And Tyler's final battle wasn't in the story for him, but to make Enid shine. The writers willingly wrote that.

If they really wanted to depict Tyler as a victim, I'm sure they would have been perfectly capable to write him as a victim, not as a willing participant.

EXACTLY ‼️‼️‼️ THIS RIGHT HERE.

First paragraph: this! Wednesday is shown to be morally strong in this show, in her own weird sense. She doesn’t like people who murder innocents, she doesn’t think people should be in pain if they don’t deserve it. She actively goes out of her way to be nice (as she can be) to Enid and Eugene. She only messes with people once they mess with her. If she was the way that Weylers see her as, she wouldn’t have bothered with the piranhas. She just straight up would have finished the job and killed dalton and probably killed Eugene’s bullies as well. She doesn’t like murder unless it’s justified in her eyes. And there doesn’t seem to be a lot that justifies it. Even when she found out Tyler was the Hyde, she wasn’t going to kill him. And that says a lot about her character I think. It’s also weird that people think that she’d forgive him because he was forced to do those things while she was under the impression that Xavier was the Hyde (and forced to do things) and didn’t care. Straight up threw him in jail 0 qualms about it.

Second paragraph: I already talked a little about the first half so I’ll focus on the second! this entire thing is so true. Her arc was with ENID, not Tyler, and I think that says a lot about the direction the writers want to take the show. It was never about her opening up romantically, it was never about her being shipped with Tyler or finding love. It was about her and ENID, and it always will be about the two of them, whether they end up romantic or not. It was purposefully set up that way, and the writers have already said that they’re the center of the show. Whether Wednesday ends up with Enid, someone else, or alone, no one will ever be as important to her as Enid is and that is just *chefs kiss*.

Paragraph 3: if they wanted to depict Tyler as a victim, they would have made it WAY more clear that the Hyde is a split personality or that they really have no control over their actions. Iirc, there was even talk of a Hyde who offed their master, so it’s not looking good for Tyler. It’s looking more like he has SOME sense of Will if he really tried to fight it, but he gave into the murdering and enjoyed it rather than showcased himself as an actual good guy. He didn’t look all that sad to be killing Wednesday in episode 8. By that point he would have remembered the things he did/had control over himself and he tried to kill his dad, too. Crazy that people still think he’s good. He’s a tragic villain, but he’s still that: a villain

[bobawitch]

Movie Night | C.S

a/n: i was watching When Harry Met Sally on my flight and came up with this blurb so enjoy!

cw: just fluff

wc: 436

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader

“Bro what is this?” Your boyfriend probed as the older movie began to play. “Chris I told you already, it’s When Harry Met Sally. It’s only the best rom com known to man. As well as my favorite fall movie.” You shrugged, jumping onto the bed and cozying up to your boyfriend. “Right right. So who's the guy making out with that girl?” He continued to probe. “Chriiiis!! That’s Harry, now just watch the movie!” You reply, pressing your cheek to his chest as you flicked his chin. Chris scoffed in fake pain, flicking the top of your head. “Is Sally the one he’s eating the face of like she’s the last ice cream in the world?” You laughed, a soft scoff escaping your lips. “He is not eating her face! And no, that’s not Sally. You see her in a second.” You replied quickly, Chris holding you tighter. As the movie continued you’d smile, you always wanted to watch this movie along with the man of your dreams. Thankfully you finally found that man of your dreams. You got through a good 20 minutes more of the movie before he spoke again. “Wait, he’s getting married though. Aren’t they supposed to be together? I told you I don’t get these romance movies.” He exclaimed. You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Just watchhhh! It’ll work out.” Chris nodded, pulling you farther onto his lap, rubbing up and down your torso. 

After his second little outburst Chris paid careful attention to the entire movie. He barely spoke for the rest of the movie, making a few comments about how unrealistic the story was and how he didn’t like Harry. You were quick to hush his rambling and random questions. As the movie came to the resolution you’d sniffle, rubbing your eyes dry. Chris looked down at you before laughing, messing your hair up into your face. With your vision now obscured you couldn’t see Billy Crystal making his intense love proclamation. “Are you actually cryi-” “Chris shhhh this is the best part!!” Chris was quick to quiet himself though he did laugh before. Chris gently began to draw his fingers through your hair, pulling the strands away from your eyes. After the movie’s romantic climax Chris tips your chin up to face him. “I love you.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. Shivers went down your spine and you smiled up at your boyfriend. “I love you too Chris.” Chris smiles back at you, tilting his head down to connect your lips. You kissed Chris back gently, holding onto his shoulders with a certain desperation.

[ponyt4il]

alberto rant

In the midst of a pandemic, major traumatic events, and also being 13 and grieving the loss of childhood, this movie was so incredibly special to me. The first time I watched it I was in my aunts old house, the one my uncle had died in about a week prior.The growing pains were big and large and this movie was a blanket that surrounded me. The movie of an endless summer in italy, all things we couldn’t achieve at that point!! And, my number one favorite character emerged from this movie.

This was all I associated myself with in middle school, i was loud, i was free. Alberto became a character I really attached myself to. I still think he’s one of my favorite characters to this day.

Alberto is loyal, kind, and fearless. Everything a 14 year old is. But he’s also complex. Like how all 14 year olds feel. He’s a fish, and he has some skeletons in his closet. Also has attatchment issues(another 14 year old issue)

I’ve tried desperately to see people talk about him, looking up vidoe essays on youtube, tumblr, any fanfiction site i can get my hands on. It’s all there, but it’s about LUCA. and i could not resent the people in this fandom enough for this. sure , i’ve seen a few theories here and there. but no real good nitty gritty deep dive into a KIDS MOVIE character . yea guys DO BETTER

I’ve seen countless character studies on Luca and how he grows throughout the story. While interesting, it still isn’t alberto to me. And it portrays the exact opposite of what luca is about, in a way, these two push and pull eachother out of dangerous sea for eachother, all simply because they found a friend, all simply because they needed a friend. and didn’t know what else to do with it all. The main pusher is Beto. He always pushes and shoved, luca falls away slowly, but surely. In big gusts does Alberto move. And that’s exactly why I enjoy him too much.

The characterization of this movie is blatant. Every character trait is told in their words, almost like they are made to say it; they hand every shocking truth out for you and leave nothing for the imagination. I see this with all of them. But i see the most in alberto

and it’s not even blantant, tvey created his life and move tn to perfection so that even when he’s not being focused on, you see everything he thinks and feels in an abstract way. He’s watching Luca for half of this show. in a simple story line way, prequsite, rushing action, climax, falling action, aftermath. Hes is a perfect example of simplicity at its finest. He’s just enough, with some waves and a tail to be enough and more.

we know alberto’s motives; to be good, and to be loved. in this order because it’s step one and two for him. We see this mindset emerge in ciao alberto the most, for a parental role. It’s apparent in the movie too, he is un caring, then he clicks, when that love is not retuned, he pulls again. Issues ensue.

This is what makes his character so sad. We see him fall always. And get up in the hands of the ones who pushed him down. Thats love, right? that’s all he knows, more than what he knows. He’s left waiting endlessly. And he’s left fighting endlessly.

In the revile fight scene where Alberto gets beat up, this is a reflection of what he’s feeling. Unwanted, worthless, and Loosing. Luca makes a poor attempt to fight back and it wins, just like how they become friends again. He gets up again. Better and ready to fight. This is the rising action to Alberto’s mind.

The climax is the long awaited betrayal. This betrayal only comes once, but the feeling doenst. When Luca cried sea monster that’s when we fell into Alberto, and not just the snide comments he makes. We’ve seen him fall back from Lucas mind in priority and then we see him fall down to the sea and far from porto rosso. It’s especially sad when the harpoon is thrown. Where he let it happen. HE WOUDLVE LET IT HAPPEN.

There’s a certain blank space in Alberto’s character. That’s his past. The tower scene where it’s revealed his father’s been gone is the intense we feel in this seemingly basic storyline. Left with questions, who is his father? where is his mother? how has he been surviving? What does he feel. The shift on support switches from luca to Alberto fast. And Luca realizes he shouldn’t let friend down so easily.

Alberto’s tower scene is meticulously placed for us to feel more connected to him. And that imagination left to the kid helps you sympathize more, any way you like. He’s one of the best side kicks for this reason. This deep heavy feeling you feel with Alberto as he falls to the bottom of the ocean in lonely grief of loosing. He lost. Again! Fish who called sea monster! We all feel like we’re losing, we all feel like Alberto, tirelessly running for something, someone, anything.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Would your Angel have showed that interrogation movie for the show in tell in ep 4, Or something different?

Hmm considering the raunchy and graphic nature of it, no. My Angel tends to be more careful about overpushing people’s patience(got experience being in the mafia & with Val). He still enjoys pushing buttons and cracking jokes, just more cautious of hitting limits, especially with wanting to stay at a free place away from certain…bugs 🦋. Plus I feel like my Charlie and Vaga wouldn't have allowed it to be viewed or atleast watched up to that point.

With that said, I’m not against the idea of showing a film. But I'd have it be something more artsy, classy erotica, more thematic. Perhaps something involving Val too(to help go into more of their relationship). "Trapped in a web" or “the Butterfly & the Spider:Web of Love” maybe a story about a butterfly falling into a spiders web and getting out of it. Maybe it was for some special award film involving a more artistic approach....it was not only one of Angel's most famous movies but one of the movies Angel actually likes himself and has fond memories of…mostly now just bittersweet.

Butterfly(Val)-I'm never letting go of you, mi araña(my spider in Spanish)

Spider(Angel)-I don't want you too.

The gang would be chatting up to the point of that lil kiss scene, Charlie commenting

Charlie-You know gotta say. For Val this is actually very tasteful(in my take Charlie does get to know Val sooner but kept in the dark longer but already has off feelings about him and sees him as an unsupportive influence for Angel, already dislikes him🤣 she'd FLIP once she knows the full scale of how awful he really is).

Vaga-Yeah. Never thought these kinda films could be so romantic.

Angel-This scene alone won us our first sexxx award! And we were up against Selene the Succubus and her sequel to “Human & Demon, damned hearts”! Wasn’t as great as the first but not half bad🥇

Niffty-Wow, really? Those r always the hardest scenes to win for....so I heard

Angel-Ofcourse He did put me in afterall. Say what u must about him, he's an overlord of style. And strives to be the best of the best! It can be hard to keep up with him sometimes but he knows Im his best bet to get the job done!

Maybe this comment about Val makes Husk chuckle a bit, maybe even found the movie cheesy, like that dialogue aswell as how Angel was talking about Val(not realizing full context of both the film and why my Angel has such complicated feelings about Val) as Angel and Husk have a talk. This is Just one rewrite scenario of how I’d go about an ep like this

Charlie-Im surprised there isn't any sex yet-sees the sex starting and THERE it IS! WOW!😳

Angel-Oh yeah, I'd pause it around now.

The plan was to simply pause at the scene where the sex would start since Angel promised it was mostly more sensual for most part. Problem is....they can't find the remote and the TV off button just happens to not be working at the moment 🤣

Cue Charlie freaking out(less about the sex itself just that it's involving Val, but at the same time can't look away)

Vaga scurrying around looking for the remote

Baxter and Niffty are in awe. Baxter taking scientific notes of the different body anatomy

Sir Pentious who just drops a cup of tea-.Well, that was…quite a climax…thank u now if u please excuse me everyone. I have to invent something to wipe away some memories from my brain….unrelated ofcourse

Perhaps it ends with Vaga or Alastor coming in to just destroy the TV unable to find the remote(I have NO idea where he was in ep 4, same for ep 6, no one brought it up). Perhaps it could turn out later that Angel had it within his chest floof and didn’t realize till he was looking for something else🤣🤣🤣

Charlie-Ok then, I think that’s a good wrap up for show & tell. Now If anyone needs me I need to take a bath…with bleach.

Sad moment later. Angel-That part where I said not to let me go…wasn’t in the script. Just came out of me…he kept it in tho.

Another less hectic idea would be Angel just showing them a recording of one of his drag performances 💃👠👢💄!!!! Somethign I remeber some friends suggesting when I discussed ideas. Angel def loves Drag so I imagine it’d be something he’d be more than proud to show as well as something more appropriate for everyone to view than his other works.

[annymation]

Deleted Ideas For The Kingdom Of Wishes

That’s right fellas, the Wish rewrite that was based on the scrapped ideas of Wish, ironically, had a lot of scrapped ideas, as one would expect from any story since the creative process changes over time.

If you’re new here, hi! Here’s my rewrite if you’d like to check it out, this post will contain spoilers of it.

So I’ll list these deleted ideas from the ones that got scrapped later on in the process of writing to the ones that got scrapped early on, okay? Okay! Let’s go! starting with the one y’all will most likely be mad at me for deleting or agree it was a bit too much:

Magnifico and Amaya turning into giants made of thorny vines in the climax

- We’re all familiar with these kinds of final battles in Disney movies, Jafar turning into a giant snake, Ursula turns into a giant, Maleficent turns into a dragon the list goes on

- My idea for the longest time was that after Asha and the kingdom sang “This Wish (Reprise)” the song would serve only for the people to wake up so they could run away, and Asha would have to fight the royals after they make huge rose vines grow to protect themselves and the staff from her, now that she showed she had powers of her own

- I realized while I was in the process of writing chapter 14 (the build up to the climax) that… The only reason I was doing that was for the sake of a reference, and that’s not smart, the references should be a bonus, not the point of the scene.

- Initially I was gonna have Asha defeat their giant forms by drawing herself with her magic pencil, thus making a clone of herself to distract them while she grabbed the staff that they were holding, and broke it. This would be a pay off to the buildup I made since the beginning, about Asha not knowing how to draw herself

- I wanted to remove the two giant royals but wanted to keep this detail of Asha drawing herself perfectly to signify how she grew and understands herself more… So I just changed when that happens.

- I had Asha draw herself to distract Magnifico in his “Fake out death scene”, though I was conflicted at first to have such an important moment for Asha actually turn out to not accomplish anything to defeat Magnifico… But then I realized that it doesn’t matter if he didn’t die in that scene, it was still a personal win for Asha.

- Finally, I decided to have Magnifico and Amaya have a villain reprise of “This Wish”, before it was just narration of me saying “And then they absorbed Aster’s power” and that’s lame, we needed a song.

- So we got the climax we got, that went through a lot of last minute changes, but hey, it worked out in the end didn’t it?

Aster Having A Panic Attack In The Cave

- … Let me explain.

- When Aster revealed that he knew Asha all his life, I initially thought about making the scene very intense, as in Aster completely loses it knowing that no matter how hard he tries he can never make her happy.

- I still have the dialogue I began to write for the scene saved, consider it a deleted scene:

- As you can see, Aster is revealing he knew her all her life not by talking to HER and complimenting how much he admires her, but rather he’s talking to himself and bringing himself down about how he’s a failure…

- That made Aster feel immature but not in a cute way, more in a “Im making this about me now” way, and as soon as I realized that I went “okay I don’t care if it makes the scene longer, Aster won’t be making this revelation through an anger episode” and it was the best decision I’ve ever made because the way the scene plays out in chapter 12 is way sweeter.

Magnifico getting partially blinded by Aster’s light for a few minutes

- This is just a comedic scene I deleted for time’s sake, but basically I initially wanted the scene of Magnifico seeing Aster coming down from the sky with his light shining upon all of Rosas to play out like this

- Magnifico Goes to open the window

- Because I liked the idea that the first thing Aster does before he even lands on earth is hurt Magnifico, it pains me that I had to delete this but it just didn’t fit the tone to make a comedic scene in that moment.

Aster Turns Human By THROWING His Magic To The Sky

- Listen I thought of this one WAAAAAAYYY back, early on in the process, before I had Asha and Aster’s whole relationship figured out in my head, so the idea of him kissing her to become human wasn’t as obvious.

- But there was one point that I thought about Aster just grabbing the glowing round rock he has on his neck, and throwing it away at the end of the story, and that would magically create the North Star… It’s a fairytale folks, doesn’t have to make sense

- But then it didn’t take long for me to realize “……… Wtf am I doing? I should just make them kiss.” And that promptly got scrapped

- It may not fit my idea, but hey, if you’re writing a Wish Rewrite where they’re just friends not lovers then that might work for you as a way to turn Aster human and create the Wishing Star.

Magnifico and Amaya Were Going To Have A Duet That Presented Their Backstories

- Yeah yeah I scrapped a villain duet, burn me at the stake lol

- But yeah that’s not their story, so their backstories hardly matter for the plot, I just had this cool idea about a song called “Careful What You Wish For” where they’d sing about how the world wronged them (in their eyes) and Mag would see the ghosts of his ancestors and yada yada yada it was a cool thought but I realized pretty quick it wouldn’t fit the narrative, so we got “Wish Away” instead, which is way better for the plot.

- Also as it is they got… Two songs, that’s more than your average Disney villain, I only remember from the top of my head Gaston having two songs, and I guess maybe Ratigan.

Asha trying to reveal to the people the king killed his brother

- Technically she did try that in chapter 10, but the king stopped her, thank god for that honestly because Asha had NO PROOF that he killed Florian so really she’d shot herself in the foot if she tried to reveal that to the public.

- Initially I was gonna have her try to prove that by arguing that Amaya was in the kingdom when Florian died, to which the queen would be like “Nuh-uh I wasn’t, I was with my husband traveling, far away from Rosas” and that would be the end of that cause how can Asha prove she’s lying?

- But I realized that’d go nowhere, and Florian ain’t relevant, he’s just a nice Mufasa/Snow White reference I made up, so bringing any attention to him would be a waste of time.

Asha Was Going To Be The King’s Apprentice

- Now that would be awkward wouldn’t it? Lmao

- So yeah, back when I began writing I was going in with the idea of making a story similar to Wish but just changing a few details, til I went full on “Screw it, I’m changing everything”

- Asha was going to be Magnifico’s apprentice because she wanted to learn magic, and because she wanted to learn the truth of why her grandfather seemed like he never got his Wish granted, to which the king just said the same lie he said in the rewrite “He wished for you to be in his life”, and although Asha thought that answer didn’t make much sense, she believed it.

- So Magnifico in this version would yearly train a new apprentice, these apprentices after mastering their magic abilities enough would be sent off to study magic in sorcery schools or to be assistants for other wizards… At least that’s what Magnifico told to his apprentice’s families.

- What would actually be going on is that Magnifico takes these young and passionate teens that dreamed of becoming sorcerers like him, mentors them, as in actually teach them magic for real, and not even dark magic just any kind of magic they wanted, so when they became powerful enough he’d steal their magic essence, to make himself more powerful.

- And then he’d just break their wish as a bonus and lock the catatonic teen in the dungeon.

- Asha would be his next victim, buuuuut she found out the truth of what was going on with him cursing the wishes and all that.

- Honestly I’m pretty sure that idea of the apprentices getting their wishes crushed was gonna happen originally in Wish, considering this deleted scene with this Flazino character, that got his wish crushed, and he was the Kings apprentice.

- It’s honestly a cool concept, but I preferred to have Asha be more against the system, and have no previous relationship with Magnifico at all.

- Also the idea that Magnifico has a collection of dead teenagers in his basement is like… Eeeeehh kinda too dark even for me yall.

Anyway! These were some of my deleted ideas! Hope you enjoyed and don’t feel like you were robbed of anything 😅

See y’all next time!

Thank You For Reading!

[spinningbuster98]

Metroid Other M Part 8: The hallow ending

You know...I’ve noticed that Sakamoto’s Metroid games seem to have issues in regards to their endings

With the exception of Super, most of his other games tend to have some sort of weirdness to them. Fusion’s ending is too abrupt, with the AI turning good on a whim simply because Samus just happened to pronounce the magic word by accident, which effectively resolved the X-threat right then and there. Zero Mission ends on a bit of an anti-climax due to the added stealth section ending with a fight against a random Ridley robot. Samus Returns’ Ridley fight is wholly unneeded and goes against the feel of the original Metroid 2. Dread’s ending is clearly rushed with Raven Beak pretty much just dumping a truck load of exposition at you with little explanation.

But none of them even comes remotely close to the absolute train wreck that is Other M’s ending

So let’s run this shit by the order in which it happens shall we?

So Samus fights and kills a Metroid Queen that Madeline sicks on her. Y’know what? This is actually the one useful thing that Samus does in this entire game: had she not taken care of this thing, MB may have used it to eliminate the Federation guys that had just arrived, including Anthony. So yeah, after all this time, Samus does one useful thing

She kills a walking plothole

Why is there a Queen on the Bottle Ship? It had been long established, since at least Fusion, that Metroids are only capable of evolving into their mature forms when they are raised in the environment of their homeworld SR388, which is why the BSL had a whole Sector dedicated to imitating that place, as ADAM explained. The Bottle Ship was not modelled after SR388, in fact Samus compares it more to Zebes. Now to be as fair as possible: Fusion never outright states that Metroids ABSOLUTELY need their homeworld to evolve, ADAM could’ve just meant that it was more ideal and easier. However whatever the initial intentions may have been that’s not what the series ultimately went with, as the Prime games feature Metroids evolving into different subspecies, such as the Tallon Metroids, as explicitly demonstrated by that one room on the Pirate Homeworld in Prime 3, which featured autopsies of Metroids of various origins. Normally I’d say that the two subseries should be kept relatively seperate so as to not create any clashings, but in this case the Prime games simply evolved a concept already hinted at in a 2D game, so in the interest of continuity Other M should’ve kept this into consideration. I mean this didn’t need to be a Metroid Queen, its narrative role could’ve easily been fulfilled by just any other big monster, it’s only a Queen because fanservice and nothing else. We lost continuity due to dumb fanservice and now Samus’ most substantial contribution to this plot is getting rid of a plothole. Just great.

MB is the mastermind behind it all! So now the game enters full movie mode in order to quickly explain to me her generic backstory just before she’s killed off so that I can feel sorry for her. Samus’ narration during the ending is flat out laughable, she’s literally explaining to us why we should feel sorry for MB and how her character worked because the story itself could not be arsed to.

This doesn’t work for so many reasons, first of all being that MB’s backstory is built on some impressive levels of stupidity and unclear logistics. These dumb asshole scientists created an AI based on Mother Brains. MOTHER. BRAIN. The AI infamous for betraying her creators and trying to conquer the galaxy. You base your AI on that thing’s “thought patterns”, put her in charge of your station’s Metroids and other highly dangerous creatures, take absolutely no precautions whatsoever, and then you go full surprised Pikachu face when she starts to grow independent? And then when you decide to reprogram her you do it by trying to forcefully restrain her when you know her android body is stronger than normal humans and can telepathically order every creature on the station to rip you to shreds? I’ve seen time travelling demons with Deviantart-level designs with better layed out plans than this!!

We are not informed about MB’s personality in any way whatsoever, aside from her developing a daughter-mother bond with Madeline. She has literally no personality beyond that. Which was also the case with Mother Brain, but at least past games never waxed poetry about how deep the characrer was and why I should be feeling bad for her! The best thing I can say about MB is that her tricking Samus into walking to her death in Sector Zero was actually pretty smart, but that’s it. That’s all there is to her. She’s a fucking muppet otherwise, which is pretty funny, given that her “developing emotions” was the crux that started this whole shitshow in the first place

I must also ask: how DID they analyze Mother Brain’s “thought patterns” to create MB? Mother Brain was a literal brain in a jar who never left Zebes. Sure the Federation was aware of her existence, so I guess she must’ve come into contact with them in the past I...guess through telepathy? Crossing galactic distances? Whatever.

And of course Samus doesn’t even take her down. No that honor goes to Madeline and the GF troops, followed by Anthony being revealed alive and as the one who previously stopped the engines of the station and is now allowing Madeline to be brought in for questioning. I mean why should Samus even do anything after all? She’s just an outsider as Adam put it at the start of the game: all this shit that’s been going on isn’t her story, it’s Adam and his men’s!

Oh and, just to put this here real quick, it’s sometimes said that the japanese version makes a distinction between the broader Galactif Federation and the guys behind the scenes here, who are supposed to be part of the Army, which is absent in the English version...except that’s not true. The English script certainly uses the terms “Galactic Federation” and “Galactic Army” pretty interexchangeably, but the distinction is there, especially with Adam flat out calling these guys a group of Ringleaders, saying that the broader GF was indeed contemplating making Metroids but that Adam conviced them otherwise with the exception of these guys, so the whole “the Galactic Federation as a whole is not corrupt, only a select few members are” idea has always been there in every version of the script. I’m more interested in knowing if this idea also existed in Fusion and was already a thing back then or if it’s a retcon that Other M came up with as a way to justify Samus still working with the GF in later games like Dread.

Anyway the day is saved! The villain was anti-climactically disposed of! Adam was a dick head to the end and died uselessly! Samus seems to have gotten over her issues for some reason, but hey if she’s happy then who am I to complain right?

Unfortunately we’re not quite done yet. We still have a little bit left before it’s truly over

[iiikaruz]

New CH episodes have made me officially decide to stop caring about the actual cast of the show </3 (/hj but i wish it was /j)

Anyway would you like to share some of your headcanons/scenarios for the side/minor characters ? It always makes my day 💚💖(/nf)

dude i feel you on these new episodes. wtf is going on over there. anyways, i’ll gladly dump this 10 ton stack of headcanons on you that i wrote down!! Marie Antoinette: 

loves hyperpop and 90s house music. she’s so slay (i have a playlist lol)

into european weirdo cinema like Gaspar Noe’s but she also likes chick flicks (her fave films are Climax (2018), Daisies (1966), and But I’m A Cheerleader (1999).)

frequents on lolita forums and goes to really shady places just to get cute lolita items.

has absolutely mastered voguing. super into ballroom culture.

has a pet borzoi (those groovy long-nosed dogs.) her name is “Vanille” and Marie loves her dearly.

wants to study fashion. she especially loves Vivienne Westwood and Moschino.

Jesús Cristo:

is a juggalo, and he indoctrinated Van Gogh into it as well.

says “it is what it is” at any minor inconvenience.

had a mental crisis at 13 as a product to the stress of living up to his clone father. similar to joan’s breakdown in s1e3 but 10x worse. he tries to ignore it when people bring it up.

designated driver on any road trip. for some reason.

into bands like The Cure whilst also bopping to Cypress Hill.

his fave video game is Parappa the Rapper.

accidentally punching holes/nails into his hand is a common occurrence. seems like it just keeps happening, so he’s learned to just roll with it. he’s also a pretty good nurse bc of it.

Marilyn Monroe:

is always down for the school play. BUT she usually just does script-writing and tech. 

into conspiracy theories and video essays. (all gorgeous gorgeous girls love video essays).

is a dedicated Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani stan.

SO “COQUETTE LIZZY GRANT DIOR RETRO” in her fashion choice.

she also gives “elle woods from legally blonde” vibes. straight A student right here.

CERTIFIED GIRLBOSS <3

Thomas Edison:

is obsessed with American Psycho (2000). he has a poster in his room and he’s weirdly obsessed with Christian Bale (very 🍎🍉🍊 of him, but he always excuses it with “oh no, i just idolize and worship him. there’s absolutely nothing gay ab it.” he’s lying.)

also he’s SUCH a pretentious film bro. he has a whole library of stupid film facts shoved in the back of his mind (im totally not projecting).

he only listens to: 80s new-wave stuff like New Order, Oingo Boingo, Beastie Boys, & Talking Heads OR Lana del Rey. There is no in between.

he worked (past-tense bc that shit is GONE in 2023) at a blockbuster video store next to the mall and he liked being a total bitch to people about it (example: “you really rented this shit? this movie sucks, dude”)

after getting unfreezed, he was ECSTATIC over how easy pirating movies is nowadays.

Napoleon Bonaparte:

member of the speech/debate club and he is THE WORST TO BE PAIRED WITH. he’s foaming at the mouth the moment someone gives a rebuttal he didn’t think of. some meetings end in him trying to beat up someone. 

into 80s rock like Metallica and Black Sabbath. he has an electric guitar. he also FUCKING LOVES ABBA AND JAMIROQUAI. like… too much.

unlawfully good at Just Dance. he absolutely fucks it up on the dance floor.

adores fantasy films like Conan (1982) and The Never-Ending Story(1984). he’s so lame/ pos.

he bakes really well. that’s all he’s got going for him.

he either found his napoleonic military uniform at party city or at a thrift store with Marie Antoinette; his story changes depending on who he’s talking to.

he cut his own hair when he was 14. the following conversation after he did so was with caesar, and it was just the haircut scene from fleabag . he then continued to keep his stupid haircut to what it is now.

is a hopeless romantic. he can make up entire love poems & sonnets in his head about a girl he’s crushing on, but literally cannot talk to people without sounding like a douchebag unless he’s super comfortable w/ them.

Ivan the Terrible:

is an avid deftones, sewerslvt, & duster listener (i, unfortunately, ALSO have a playlist.)

spends his nights scrolling on 4chan and arguing w/ people. him & topher have accidentally argued w/ each other AT LEAST 5 times.

literally refuses to take off his ushanka in any weather. it doesn’t matter to him if it’s 90 degrees, that thing is staying ON.

kins Travis Bickle and Shinji Ikari. i mean, just look at this dude and how he presents himself. average NGE & Taxi Driver enjoyer/ hj.

fave video games are Postal 2 and osu!. he plays osu! phenomenally, to the point where it’s impressive. (pls put that energy into a job or something).

and yea that’s all the energy i have to write this down :]

[everygame]

Hi-Fi Rush

Developed/Published by: Tango Gameworks / Bethesda Released: 25/01/2023 Completed: 09/12/2023 Completion: Finished it!

I loved this.

I’m not quite sure why, but saying so feels very exposing. Maybe it’s because before playing Hi-Fi Rush I had no idea what it actually was, and the game’s bright anime-adjacent stylings somewhat had me discounting it out of hand, so I assume the extremely cool people who read this would be doing the same.

Maybe it’s also just that Hi-Fi Rush is… pretty straightforward? It’s not particularly trying to move the medium forward (although I think it does some clever stuff) it’s just trying to be very, very good at what it’s doing. And what it’s doing, actually, isn’t so much “anime” as “full on Sega blue skies” while being an incredible competent 3D action platformer/brawler with a likable (dare I say loveable) cast of heroic misfits telling a simple but effectively structured narrative with some very savvy music choices.

The thing is that… succeeding at something that hits that many beats isn’t actually… easy? Something I’m most struck by is actually those characters. By now we’ve all seen the nadir of Marvel-inspired quip-a-thons thanks to the likes of that Forsaken trailer, but even looking at something like, say, Guardians of the Galaxy, where they have something that (at least previously) had worked, it’s remarkable how flat it falls. Here, you have a goofy, act-first-think-later hero, Chai, the cleverer-than-him female leader, Peppermint, the funny robot, CNMN, etc. in a very simple “baddies are doing bad things, let’s get the different things we need to defeat them” story, but it completely pops because there’s been care to keep the story rolling naturally so you flow through it and grow into caring about them. I’m so insanely curmugeonly that I can’t believed to ride that line for me. But they did!

Now you could say, “ah, but the secret weapon here is that the game uses actual songs that you actually like! That always works!” But it doesn’t work if all the pieces don’t fit together. There’s no better example than one of the game’s latter levels that uses The Prodigy’s Invaders Must Die. It plays at a moment where narratively all hell is breaking loose. It feels like you’re in a climax of an action movie, not just because the music is playing, but because the story has taken you there. That the level design is clever enough to cool down, let the music pull back a little, and then kick it back in for a climax? Absolute chef kiss.

(It only really gets better from there, too. Ending strong is rarely something I think video games aspire to, but Hi Fi Rush is sensibly around the 10 hour mark and the last three levels or so rip. Did the appearance of The Joy Formidable on the soundtrack literally make me emotional? Yes. Yes it did.)

Now interestingly, I haven’t actually played any other Tango Gameworks titles so I don’t really know if I should have expected rock-solid play, but either way I was surprised by how well it does. What makes Hi Fi Rush genius, I think, is that it takes a type of game I am incapable of not button-mashing through and adds a rhythm action component that doesn’t expect but rather, uh… politely asks you to hit your combos on rhythm. And it works!

I can criticise it, somewhat, however They quickly add quite a lot of subtleties to the combat and don’t tutoralise them heavily enough–I didn’t understand how to use Chai’s “partner combos” until well over half-way through the game, and I don’t know if I ever got comfortable with parries because standing around waiting for enemies to attack seemed the antithesis of everything else I was doing. There end up being a lot of buttons and you have to internalise the order of your partners and switching between them rapidly in situations where there are like 3 different kinds of enemies at once meaning at times combat is just a total stramash. But even then, there’s always the beat to follow. It’s very clever.

Anyway. I loved this. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve played in years. Your mileage may vary!

Will I ever play it again? When it finished I wanted to play it more. That literally never happens. I sort of hope there’s a sequel, but the story of this is so pleasantly complete that I’m not sure if there should be one.

Final Thought: I may also be a bit of a sucker for this game because you’re always accompanied by a black cat. Inspired by the game director’s!

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[woundlingus]

Okay I’ve seen Driven (2020) starring richard Speight Jr and I’ve taken some notes to share with the class;

It is not very cinematic. 98% of the shots are very boring. Obviously it’s a very low budget film and that’s not to rag on low budget because a lot of low budget films become cult classics because they have a charm to them that comes from a movie with little money but a lot of love ie. Blair witch project ($60k), paranormal activity (15k) a lot of horror movie franchises start really low budget and it makes them super campy which is what makes them so beloved. But this is boring cinematically. And they don’t commit to what kind of style they want to go with filming and it jumps from very clear steady shots to shaky hand held footage without much rhyme or reason. I think they could’ve done a lot with very little and just the car by incorporating the fact that she’s an “Uber” driver through use of security footage found footage style. Viewing the story from a rear view reversing camera, a passenger camera- those kinds of things and it would’ve given a more visually interesting angle than smack bang in the middle of the dash board and never moving. In a movie that’s comprised 97% of shots of the two of them sitting in a car dialoguing there’s a distinct lack in dynamic shots to spice up the monotony.

Personally I would’ve liked to have seen more of the story happening in the background of things, I think it would’ve been visually fun to see her driving around in The beginning and viewing the oncoming disaster through her windows while she’s distracted with her own personal problems, a little like Shaun of the Dead if you’ve seen that, it’s got this great scene where it’s a one take where he just strolls through town with havoc going on in the background while he’s so self obsessed he doesn’t notice, then we could be part of the journey opposed to getting a lot of information dialogued at us.

The plot is very nonsensical and feels like it was given about 10% of the love and attention for what makes up 90% of the movie while the rest of the care was put into the bantering- which is very good. I will give them that the bantering between the two of them was VERY funny, though I think sometimes they need to know when to let a joke go (toilet spoon).

The two leads aren’t bad actors though, and sometimes that’s really all you need to make something watchable is if the people you’re watching are capable of making a dull script and character interesting to watch, they bounce off of each other with a very natural chemistry on a set where everyone else im going to assume is getting their first big break (no shame, everyone has to start somewhere) because they’re NOT good. Especially Jess who stands there dead eyed and delivers her lines like she’s reading off a teleprompter… that was the worst part of the whole movie, she’s unwatchable it was terrible. It’s a pivotal part of the film, the emotional crux of Emerson coming to terms with needing to self realise that she’s what’s holding her back and Rodger is a dick but his words cut because they’re true. And she’s crying on one side of the car and her ex girlfriend is just “😐 you didn’t… fight for us😐 you sit 😐 in the car of our relationship😐”

It’s very typecast of RSJ to play this kind of guy who’s a little awkward but very flirty and quippy- sassy, I suppose. And he does it VERY well like not just being a Gabriel girlie I always find his joke telling very compelling, but there’s the big emotional climax of the movie where he turns on a dime and snaps at Emerson and it’s MEAN. And I think he’s quite capable of branching out into a more serious type of character role and I’m not sure why he doesn’t, maybe he just likes to play the funny guy and that’s fine but he’s very good at being a little bit crazy and sadistic and I think he could play a good bad guy at some point if he wanted, I think he’s capable of portraying that kind of emotional depth.

The best part is obviously the bi4bi energy going on in this car. They’re both quite awkward and the “my ex girlfriend” rolled off the tongue like it was a very normal thing to say. You know sometimes you watch something and there’s a tense beat and then it’s like “my… girlfriend,” and you’re supposed to go ooooh this is hard for you :( there was none of that. She just spat that out like she was shooting the breeze with someone chill who would just get that, and later brought up an ex boyfriend and there was no needless discussion about bisexuality we’re just expected to get it in the way that Rodger literally could not give less of a fuck about it you know? Cool you’re bisexual, can we get back to hunting demons??? There was no awkward straight guyness to it. He didn’t go “oh? Oh!” Or ask crude details about girl on girl action- you know, the usual stuff. He instead shared his own personal love life strife or lack there of. Bi4bi energy. And chaotic. Love a good bi4bi chaotic duo. Their relationship was the best part of the movie I enjoyed watching them start tense and awkward and quickly bloom into a friendship BECAUSE they’re tense and awkward, it’s fun! There wasn’t a change in character, no suaveness, she does standup comedy it’s dorky it’s cute I think they’re perfect.

And those are all my thoughts, I’d give it a 4/10 just for the distinct amount of missed opportunities they skate on by but it’s not unwatchable, I just certainly would never recommend it to anyone

[oneiric-somnolence]

I watched The Twilight Saga for the first time in 2023.

(Maybe somewhat obviously, there are spoilers for the Twilight Saga in this post! Proceed with caution and care.)

A real post on main, guys! Can you believe it?!

INTRO:

I’m a movie guy. I like films—even the ones that aren’t particularly good. Maybe especially those ones. 

When I’d reached the target age and audience of Twilight (2008), I really was of the scene and aesthetics of someone who should have watched Twilight (that, of course, being an edgy tweenaged girl). It’s release was, however, just a few years before my most conscious ages and by then had already garnered the reputation of being a rather shit film. The specific kind that fell victim to excessive scrutiny because it was targeted towards girls. I was never terribly fond of things for girls (for reasons that would come to make themselves clear in the future) so I naturally joined the hate party. I think at that point, the most I’d even known about the film came from parody in the cartoons i was watching. There may have been a particularly notable Twilight bit in American Dad. Who remembers?

Anyhow—while no longer tweenaged or a girl, I feel as if I have reached the point in my life where I would most respect these films for what they are. I appreciate an amount of cheese and I feel that a lens of nostalgia for the era they come from will cloud my judgement quite beautifully. I hope there to be an amount of earnest in them—as that’s all that a film really needs to be entertaining to me—but I’ve seen criticism of the later films in the franchise for being very of an industry and without the charm that audiences enjoyed from the franchise initially. The quality or charisma of any films after the first (excluding Eclipse) will not be necessary to keep my attention because Michael Sheen is in them. So I’ll do my best to give them all a fair shot and not let the opinions of others snake too far into my mind. 

First up, Twilight (2008)…

TWILIGHT (2008):

Knowing what I do about films in general and my preferences when it comes to them, I was immediately a bit turned off by the two-hour runtime. Even a supernatural action-romance didn’t need to be much longer than 1:45 if they knew what they were doing. It did, however, get the benefit of the doubt for being based on a book. I know that can lengthen things. Now, while it wasn’t exceptionally long, I think the movie would have greatly benefited from being a few tens of minutes shorter just to force them to figure out where their priorities lie and pace things much better. I will revisit this idea many times in the post to come as it is a bit of an issue with the franchise.

The very first thing the movie needs absolute credit for is its style. From the iconic blue filter over the entire movie to the insert song choices to the actors chosen and done up to specifically be beautiful in the way this story desires—they had a vision and they did their best to fulfill it. Now, I feel it necessary to mention I have not read the books nor do I plan to. I’m reviewing the films as films and alluding to the books as an abstract potentiality. I haven’t a damn clue what’s actually in them. With that bit clarified, it seems to me that the filmmakers had an idea of how they wanted to put the book to screen and it seems they’d succeeded. 

My favorite part of the movie before the final climax was—believe it or not—the most memed scene of it: Bella’s confrontation of Edward. I like it. I thought the whole vampire research montage was fun and the “I know what you are” bit was well done and a good buildup-payoff (this will not be very common in these films). Save for the silly vampire super speed moment, it was a visually beautiful scene and a great emotional turning point for the film.

There are a few things that surely wouldn’t have made a teenager in 2008 bat an eye and even would seem their greatest fantasy while not aging well at all. I very much enjoy the dynamic of “I would love to love you and it’s in my very nature to do horrible things to you but I love you too much to ever do them” but, as an already ethically gray trope, it becomes odd to watch when you put two high school juniors in it. Now make one of those juniors an immortal that has been a teenager much longer than the other and you start to wonder what the fuck you’re watching. Lonely flip phone-era girls don’t think about these things and that’s why they’re happier than us. Though, the filmmakers (I’m counting Stephenie Meyer as a “filmmaker” as she did have a hand in it by, y’know, writing the books they’re based on) did think about the oddness of it to some extent because, in the following films, they did wait until Bella was an adult to let things get “serious.” I’ll give them that.

I liked the baseball scene. That may be a bias for how anime it is and the Muse song in the background, but I did think it was a good transition from romance focus to Vampire Murder focus by showing us vampiric abilities in action. I do think the other vamps showing up to crash it and that being the major turning point was rather lame and I can’t exactly say why. That said, I found most of this section of this film to be rather uninteresting. The villains were unengaging—the best vampire out of the three antagonists was Laurent and they did fuck all with him. I rather dislike Victoria (and you will see that that will in no way change for me as the series goes on) and whatever the killer one’s name was. I really didn’t like him—it was no fault of the actor’s as I could tell he was trying really hard with the horrific dialogue he was given. He didn’t convince me as a Killer and had no motivation as a Vampire. 

As for the very end climax of the film, Kristen Stewart is about the only on this cast who could do action sequences convincingly and she was never actually partaking in any of them until they almost killed her. Alright. The final fight had some very pretty and cool shots but the fight choreography was just awkward and boring (this is never remedied even as the franchise goes on). I enjoyed the dynamic of the Cullens for the first time during this fight and I’m happy to say that they stay a very good group of characters from this point on.

If you break the movie into four 40 minute segments, the first half was okay, the third fourth was lame and uninteresting, and the last bit was maybe even quite good. The literal last seconds of the film aren’t a half bad lead into the next movie. I wish they’d prioritized some things and emphasized some other things. If they forced themselves to make this movie 30 minutes shorter, I think they would have found where their priorities lie and it would have been punchier and much more consistent and engaging. Not a completely horrible movie. I feel like they wanted to lean into more of the lore and world building I’m sure the book had, and they take the opportunity to do so in the following films, but you could tell they wanted to. It felt like they either forgot or weren’t sure exactly how. 

It’s a charming film, confident in it's romance but less so in it’s action. It’s got as many dumb and flawed moments as it has nice or enjoyable ones. Worth a watch for the sake of a watch. That’s the best I’ve got—it takes a backseat in your mind once you’ve watched all the others as the story moves so quickly in insane directions. It’s a humble beginning.

Here are some of my various notes I wrote while watching:

“Bella gets sexually assaulted eight minutes into the movie.”

“All the banter dialogue in this movie is completely unnatural and unbearable except all the small town Washington folks. Love them. That said, this is exactly how two extremely awkward teens act when forced to partner up in class.”

“If I was partnered with Edward Cullen, I would just assume he was severely autistic. (ETA: I’m not sure he isn’t. Might be on the spectrum on top of all the vampire shit.)"

“Edward Cullen really was such a dark pretty boy back then, wasn’t he? I’m not trying to imply Robert Pattinson isn’t widely considered beautiful still, but nowadays you can find a guy exactly like him smoking a cigarette and listening to Radiohead on every street corner—and also in every female demographic anime video game since 2010.”

"Edward should’ve just pretended he was surprised about the eye thing and the super strength and whatever. "

“This entire family are freaks and it’s not because they are vampires." 

“I’m starting to wonder if Edward talks so weird because a young Robert Pattinson is struggling to do an American accent."

“These movies would be infinitely less lame if more people got maimed to death. (ETA: They do.)”

“I was unaware of how close this film got to a sex scene.”

NEW MOON (2009):

This series has a habit of introducing a villain with very high potential and then either killing them or elaborating on them in a way that does not matter and doesn’t really amount to anything. This movie is Victoria’s nothing elaboration and the introduction of Aro and the Volturi. 

The Volturi, to me, are these very enticing anime-style villains. I think they’re a good addition to the lore as the governing body of vampires. They have their flaws, as every group in this franchise does, but their existence and the way they work in the story shows intention and direction—something I’ve mentioned these films are quite low on. This film is their exposition. They do little actual villainy within the walls of New Moon and I do wish they were simply more prevalent in general, but this film gives them great context and introduces them very, very well. I’m writing this here as a bit of a preface—they don’t really get too involved until the near end of the movie. This, though, is a good thing. They take the opportunity to properly explain and expose the Volturi and explain to us why we should be scared or be enticed by them before they force us to.

The emotional plot was—I don’t know—something. It seems odd and forced and unsure of itself but it tells us why Edward and Bella need each other and makes sure everyone in the movie is aware of it as well. I appreciate that. Breakup plots when you know they end up just fine together feel like they take forever to get anywhere and make any sense, though I’ll give it the benefit of seeing it through the eyes of that lonely teenage flip phone girl. I’m sure she was quite devastated and would have been left as Bella was if the movie didn’t resolve itself.

This was his movie but still I found a lot of Jacob's plot unmemorable. The only thing I do remember is how this is the film that turned him from the fun, casual alternative into a bit of a weird, obsessed never-even-was-ex-lover who chooses repeatedly and knowingly to insert himself where he isn’t wanted. A bit of Jacob's character is remedied in the following films but he really just enters an odd state where they aren’t sure what to do with him and you aren’t sure if you like him.

It did stop being the werewolf movie by the end of it. This is when the Volturi show up and steal the movie—and Michael Sheen shows up to steal every scene he’s in. I’m told Victoria was the main villain of this film and yet she was the most forgettable aspect of the film. By the time they make it to Italy, you don’t give a single shit about any of that—the feeling of something much bigger sets in as they spend little time wading in What Just Happened and quickly move on to setting up the following films. 

The unsatisfactory pacing and poor prioritization of subject matter per film is somewhat remedied when you start thinking of this Saga as a series—and I do believe it would have been one if the books were adapted in a time where limited series were more popular. Thinking of them as an anime is what made it more easy to finish and accept certain oddities. 

Overall, there was too much of the film that was terribly unremarkable but the good parts were rather very good and gave me a perhaps misguided hope for the next one. To add—I quite liked the soundtrack. The insert songs were often fitting and genuinely added to the scenes they were in.

Here are some of the notes I wrote while watching:

“So far, it’s my impression that these films are just as wildly ambitious as they are confused. It does, admittedly, make them a bit endearing.”

“I don’t think I’d take the time and effort to read the books but I could definitely see this story being much more nuanced and enjoyable in text form. Though I can’t say anything of Stephenie Meyer’s writing style. I haven’t read even an excerpt of it. Maybe it sucks. Who knows.”

“Michael Sheen’s first appearance in this movie is him ripping off a man’s head.” (This was noted simply from sense of amusement. Or perhaps arousal.)

“Alice Cullen is genuinely adorable.”

“I get the emotional implication of the motorcycle but I really don’t think Edward Cullen would be opposed to his girlfriend having a sick ass motorcycle if they were together right now.”

"I’ll admit I have been somewhat too engaged to make notes. So I guess that’s good. “

“Why did Edward fly to fucking Italy to kill himself? Just eat some fucking garlic or something dude.”

“I found this movie to be far more consistently engaging. And my judgement isn’t clouded by having Michael Sheen on screen because he barely was.”

“The vampire fight in Twilight was lame. The vampire fight in New Moon is even lamer since we got to see how fuckin' sick the werewolf fights were.”

“I’ll give credit to this movie for officially engaging me in the plot of these characters. I actually wanted to know where things were going in this movie. I didn’t feel that too hard with the first.”

ECLIPSE (2010):

New Moon sets up the Volturi and Eclipse knocks it down? No, not at all. They aren’t really even here. Victoria. Victoria, Victoria, Victoria. Hey, at least she dies in this one. They foreshadow the conflict very heavily and then go into a bunch of particularly boring relationship nonsense. It sets up for progression within Edward and Bella’s relationship to come but I found the way in which they did it a total snoozefest. I don’t care about the sex lives of teenagers. I’m sorry. Lord forgive me. A lot of what happened in this film could have happened elsewhere. It didn’t particularly need to exist in the grand scheme of the story.

The main point of this movie was Bella’s dichotomies. Bella struggles with the decision to be turned into a vampire and the decision between Edward and Jacob (though, that one less so as the narrative so clearly favors Edward). She’s shown the barbarism of vampires through the newborns and she’s shown the beauty and humanity in them as she talks to the Cullens about their lives and as she falls deeper in love with Edward. There’s a very nice bit where, in a graduation speech, Bella’s friend talks about how her age is about making mistakes and that nothing is permanent. It’s a very nice speech for anyone to hear and sends a good amount of uncertainty to Bella that drags with her until she makes her final decision at the end of the movie. I thought that was rather well done both cinematically and thematically. That may have been the most enjoyable part of the movie for me. 

Despite its flaws, by this movie I was unfortunately hooked. My critical mind had left me and I really was just following the plot. Still, I didn’t have the mind for emotional stuff that bored me and the action aspects of the movie were also rather boring. They gave us good backgrounds on some of the Cullens. The best vampire fight in the movie was when they were sparring. We get some decent vamp/wolf action and some jumping points. This movie was just a bridge but that does mean it leaves you wondering what’s next. The pacing feels a lot nicer, again, if you think of is as a really long episode of a greater series.

My notes are a little more sparse for this one:

“I really don’t find Victoria to be an interesting or scary enough villain to warrant being a villain for this many movies.”

“I think this franchise is so much more bearable when you think of it as an anime. Genuinely.”

“How many actors in these films are English and trying very hard not to be? Lots of weird accents going on here.”

“Every single other Cullen is infinitely more interesting than the one the story chooses to follow."

“I love the Volturi’s anime villainy. It’s my favorite thing in this entire franchise.”

“Jasper may be the weirdest, most fucked up creepo Cullen but he is also the funniest by far.”

“Why does Jacob specifically have to carry Bella to mask her scent? I don’t get it. If he’s so pungent, just him walking with her should be enough, no?”

BREAKING DAWN — PART 1 (2011):

The decisions are made! Edward and Bella are getting married! Then they’ll fuck and turn Bella into a vampire a bit later! Yeah! I know, like, thematically why they place so much emphasis on Edward and Bella having sex but I find it much less interesting than the whole Turning Into a Fucking Vampire thing. Bella gets pregnant. Hell spawn. Everyone gets pissed off. She has the baby. They name it something stupid. She almost dies. Edward turns her into a vampire. Jacob gets the hots for the just-born child and I’m supposed to be okay with that for some reason. Really, even the flip phone girl has to be asking questions by now. There. I summed up the whole movie. Really, that’s pretty much all that happens. Oh! The werewolves wanted to kill the kid, but didn’t. For reasons relating to Jacob wanting to fuck it when it grows up. I don’t know. I’m trying.

This movie was unexciting and just set up Part 2. I suppose it did exactly what it was meant to do but it did nothing for me. There you are.

Wanna read some of my notes? Here:

“If I dreamt Michael Sheen was at my wedding, it would in no way be a nightmare. “

“Sex preparation montage? Okay. I have no comments. I just needed to mention it was there.”

“They really, really don’t know what happens when a vampire impregnates a human? Really? In all this time?"

“Werewolf rage segment doesn’t interest me. The first half of this movie has not been particularly interesting."

“Every single actor in these movies are just beautiful. Genuinely fantastic-looking people. The vampires’ makeup would convince you otherwise though.”

"'Jacob just had an idea.’ '…It wasn’t an idea. It was a snide comment.’ is the funniest dialogue in this whole franchise.”

“Vampire venom CG? Okay."

"Jacob 'imprinting' on Renesmee is such an unbelievably odd and vile thing to put into this story. So fucked up."

“This is the movie that turned Bella into a vampire but still manages to be a boring and unnotable transitional phase into Part 2.”

BREAKING DAWN — PART 2 (2012):

This movie is the actual payoff for the Volturi—if you could call it that at all. This is it: the great climax! And yet it takes so long to get going in a way that means anything. The stakes set you up for everything and give you nothing. 

Bella enjoys being a vampire. Everyone is really mean to her dad for some reason. Everyone got really cool with Jacob taking claim on Renesmee very fast. The Volturi catch wind of Renesmee and think she is a child who was turned into a vampire, which is Vampire Illegal, so once again, they come to hunt down the Cullens. They’re very foreboding and scary and Micheal Sheen pleases me greatly no matter how terrible he looks. Really, with all the lost visions in these movies I wish they could have found a genuinely good design for the vampires—I’d never quite liked how they look. 

Anyhow, the Cullens build a great vampire army to fight off several clones of the Spirit Halloween logo, but, of course, they’re hoping they don’t have to fight and that the Volturi will hear them out. It all comes together in an empty field when the snow sticks to the ground where it’s vampires and werewolves versus the Italians. We see a great battle that gets infinitely lamer-looking when the characters you like join in because God hates you. Humbert and Dolores—I mean Jacob and Renesmee make a break for safety. Vampires get shattered like stone, werewolves go down like sick dogs and Aro rips off Carlisle Cullen’s head. Aro gets his head smashed off. Rami Malek is there. 

But alas! None of it’s real. We cut back in to Aro holding Alice’s hand before they started fighting and reading what she saw in the future—the future he has if they choose to battle today. Aro wants to call it off to save is head in the most literal sense possible but still fears danger remains in the form of a half-human-half-vampire child. Alice reveals a vampire they met who is indeed that and is just fine. Great, even. Grew to maturity and stopped aging. Aro is delighted and just leaves. All is well and all romantic pursuits are happy, including one with Bella’s father who is the only man in this series who deserves happiness. That’s the end of the film and the franchise as it stands.

While I would normally go completely feral and find someone to maim with that kind of “it wasn’t real!” ending, this one feels… earned. It stayed engaging. It had a reason to exist other than just trickery. I have no complaints regarding that and I’m sure it was rather exciting to experience in-theater at the time.

What I have got complaints about is once again that rancid sense that they have no idea where they’re going next. It doesn’t feel at all like they’re done with it but they gave no indication of where they would want to go in the future. With almost no payoff from the best villains in the series—everything just goes back to how it is and everyone’s happy. The only difference between the end of Twilight and the end of Breaking Dawn 2 is that Bella is a vampire now and Renesmee exists. It was an exciting movie but with so little point. This franchise is so afraid of ending but so unsure it’ll go on. It’s understandable but just annoying and unsatisfying as a viewer. It does deserve credit for making me care that there was a good ending, just gets the same points taken back for not giving me one.

Overall, I enjoyed the film. It’s one of my favorites in the series. I can’t, however, rate it as an ending because it isn’t one. I can tell it wants to get there but it’s too unsure.

Last round of notes comin’ up:

“They’ve taken a rather vague stance on if vampires sleep recreationally or not.” (This still annoys me.)

“I know I’m saying this while I actively chose to watch the goddamn Twilight Saga but I do not care one single bit about the vampire sex. It’s the least interesting part of these films. They managed to make Vampire Sex boring. I don’t get it.”

“Rami Malek was quite a sweet thing in this movie. I’m used to his characters being like sick or on drugs or something.”

“I like that that credits were kind of credits for the whole franchise. that’s nice.”

“Okay, I did not expect Billie Joe Armstrong once the scrolling credits came in.”

CLOSING STATEMENTS:

It’s not a series that’s going to change your world. I don’t even think it’d make a viewer of average sensitivity cry unless it hit a nerve specific to the viewer. It’s a flawed story, but ultimately an interesting and deeply earnest one. I find there’s a charm specific to the first and final movies. That isn’t to say the other’s were less interesting, just that the franchise has a problem with drive and direction. Quite obviously, the very first and the very last are the ones easiest to overcome that. The series is best at its most certain. There were moments it seemed rather confused about what was important or how something was to be portrayed, but within the moments that were very confident in themselves was an engaging supernatural romance, and I find it quite easy to give it the benefit of the doubt more often than not. 

In two words—flawed, charming. It does what it wants to do and isn’t completely terrible at it. Overall enjoyable films. 

I wouldn’t recommend someone sit through them all unless I think they would actually like that kind of thing or if they were making an essay about it. I might, however, recommend that one who enjoys films watch the first and perhaps second to see if they may be unexpectedly enticed. I found myself—to my own discontent—hooked in by the third one. I don’t recommend holding out that long if you really aren’t enjoying yourself but if you insist on giving them a fair chance, that’s my anecdote. 

[moviemunchies]

Before this movie came out, there were some reservations about it–whether it would be good, or if it would even be released. There were problems with the state of the DC movie universe, for starters, and the weirdness going on with Warner Brothers management. Despite all of that, the guys at Warner Brothers insisted that this movie was coming out, and that it was “one of the greatest superhero movies ever made.”

It is… not.

Barry Allen is the Flash–a founding member of the Justice League and the fastest man alive. Upon getting a better grip on his power to travel through time, Barry decides that he can prevent his mother’s murder and clear his father’s name through a very simple switch-up. So he does that; except he’s thrown out of the timestream unexpectedly to his eighteen-year-old self’s life, where his mother is alive and he’s in college. 

Except everything’s changed! Because changing history isn’t only going to change the present, it also disrupts everything else, so Barry’s now in an alternate timeline. And in this timeline, Zod is invading and Barry can’t find Superman or the League around to help. So he’s got to figure out how to save the world, and then get home.

Yeah, it’s another loose adaptation of Flashpoint.

This movie was being billed as the thing that was going to reset the DC continuity for the movies and put it in the new state for Superman: Legacy. Except watching it, the movie is plainly not that at all–the way the universe is left at the end of this movie is not really compatible with whatever they’re doing with the new DC movies. The end result is that the movie feels pointless in its conclusion, a funny little one-off that affects nothing.

It’d be more forgivable if we’d had more time with this iteration of Barry Allen/the Flash. Instead, much like Superman in Snyder’s movies, we’re skipping straight to big stories without developing these characters enough to care. And now we’re getting no more of Barry Allen, or at least this Barry Allen.

Which is kind of a shame? Because I went into this out of curiosity, and I didn’t expect that much from it. I remember for the first third of the movie or so, I was having a surprising amount of fun. I liked this version of Barry. I enjoyed seeing his interactions with his fellow Justice Leaguers, and I thought about how I’d love to see more of these characters interacting. I’d love to see more stories about Barry, but I don’t think we will, at least not anytime soon.

Also, Ezra Miller went kind of insane in the last year or so, and that’s probably an admittedly good reason as to why they’re not rushing to make more anytime soon.

The multiverse is pretty weak here–people have written pieces as to why we’re all sick of the multiverse by this point, and that’s fair. Other than the main Plot itself, where Barry is in an alternate timeline, it only really comes up in the climax, to sort of say, “Hey! We remember all of these past DC iterations! Do you?” Okay, fine, that doesn’t make it good storytelling. It’s not terrible, it’s just not great, either.

Michael Keaton’s a fun Batman. I’m going to be honest with you–I never had much attachment to the 1989 Batman. I liked this take on Batman, though I don’t know if that means he should have replaced Ben Affleck, or even the Thomas Wayne from the comic; the decision to reference the Burton film felt more like fanservice than something that actually made sense.

Also! Question: why does Iris like Barry? By the end of the film, she’s clearly interested in him, and while we know he’s a great guy, the way he’s acted towards her throughout the movie isn’t very appealing from her point of view. She should be incredibly skeptical about his prospects as a romantic partner, if anything. It seemed like a typical ‘Nerd guy gets The Girl’ Hollywood trope than actually writing for the characters.

This movie feels like it’s had a dozen reshoots added to it, to try to make it appeal to more fans through references, and to try to make it fit or not fit in a new DC universe. And while it’s great fun at times, I’d have preferred if the movie only tried to tell a singular story. I would like an actual Flash movie that had Barry interacting with his own supporting cast and rogues gallery–because Flash has an amazing rogues gallery! Thawne! Zoom! Captain Cold! Mirror Master! These would be fun on a massive blockbuster budget!

And it’s pretty darn egregious that, with everything that’s going on in Warner Bros, that they canceled Batgirl, a film with a female Hispanic lead, and kept straight on with this, when its star has actually committed crimes and threatened people.

I don’t know! I had more fun watching this than I expected, and that was a nice surprise! At the same time, this far from “one of the greatest superhero movies ever made” that was promised–I don’t know how someone even arrived at that proclamation, unless the executives decided “nostalgic references to previous movies” counts as quality. Given the state of Hollywood, that’s a possibility.

If you’re a massive DC fan, or liked other movies in this iteration of the DC universe, than you’ll probably have some fun with this movie. But is it a must-watch? No. Not even close.