#girlfailures and their fucked up cats

[teampuppycat]

they would be bffs i think

[eelclaw]

okay new arc... my thoughts.

leafstar:

leafstar was one of my favorite characters as a kid, but not because of anything she actually did. i liked her graphic novels, but only mostly because i was delighted by sol being a pathetic girlfailure.

also my copy of skyclan's destiny was misprinted and had pages out of order, and i loved having a fucked up book.

i liked her in firestar's quest, but... she's done nothing in every book since.

sharpclaw pushes her around in skyclan's destiny, then tells her he was just challenging her to make her a more confident leader. nothing comes out of this.

she's worried about female leaders not being allowed to have kits and about inviting daylight warriors into the clan, and it would've been great to just skip these plotlines entirely. skyclan had a chance to be a different kind of clan, a breath of fresh air from the shit we normally read about, and they didn't take it.

in ravenpaw's farewell she decides that skyclan hates outsiders. then ravenpaw proves her wrong by helping chase out some rogues that skyclan somehow couldn't chase out on their own, so she changes her mind, but only enough to take in bella and riley.

the general back-and-forth and nothing getting done in avos, tbc, and asc just annoys me.

her going blind is actually pretty interesting, but it needs to be handled well, and it's not going to be.

she's pretty old at this point, so i hope she dies, but the kid in me still hopes she gets an awesome death.

tawnypelt:

the way she's treated in avos and in her novella is incredibly uninteresting.

her clanmates don't take her seriously because of how closely she was associated with rowanstar. that's cool! that's interesting! but how long has it been since avos? she's far and away proved herself to be a valuable member of shadowclan.

the "kids these days" plotline is so fucking frustrating, i don't want it to come back.

i thought her novella had a nice conclusion. she accepted that her lost loved ones were lost, and that she could not go back to the way things were, but she could keep moving forward, and she would see her family in starclan some day. from the blurb, this conclusion is going to be completely trampled.

i'm also sick of tigerheartstar changing every book, just to drive whatever the current mess of a plot is.

moonpaw:

not many thoughts. betting her parents are nightheart and sunbeam.

hoping she's distinct from frostpaw and shadowsight. i can't take a third one.

it would be interesting if nightheart dies before she's born, paralleling larksong dying before nightheart was born. then nightheart might realize a bit of what his parents were going through.

overall. not hopeful. i'm super tired of the formula they've been using for the past few arcs. i don't care about "the end of the cats' connection to starclan". just because these books are about religious cats doesn't mean we can't have deep, meaningful, character-driven plots. why can't we get one of those.

[yandere-fics]

Yandere giving their catgirl darling catnip all the time and secretly drugging her to keep her sleepy and dependant. Slowly get it into her head that she's just a dumb little kitten who can't take care of herself, never be outright malicious, but get her high and whisper to her all of your intentions. Eventually her brain will just learn she's far too useless to ever be apart from you - if you ever broke up with her you'd probably starve to death. So you just give in and become her cute little litten, even when she shows her true self.

-girlfailure

♡ Drugging Their Cat Girl Darling ♡

♡ Miriel does it because she wants to be able to put a diamond collar on you but when you'll fully conscious you won't allow it so she starts dosing you with catnip just so she can have a bit fun dressing you up while you'll all cute and vulnerable but after doing it for awhile she starts to just really like it and you seem so happy with it anyways, what's the harm in doing it just a bit longer. She won't feel bad at all about it and she wouldn't stop, you might get a bit flustered if you act horny while you've been dosed. She won't overuse it though, there are times were you'll be allowed to not be high. ♡

♡ Eliza does it cause she secretly really wants to be the big bad wolf mounting the poor unfortunate cat but you won't go along with it when fully aware and so she found a tutorial on the internet on how to make your cat darling embrace their instincts and it suggested dosing you so she went for it plus once she gets you dosed you're just so cute and pliant and you'll go along with anything she tells you even if she tells you to present your cute hole for her or let her breed you, when you're like that you even beg sometimes so it's a win for her, she enjoys it for nonsexual reasons but it will mostly be used for her sexy times or when you're being too silly. She won't feel bad, she may stop after sometime if she notices you acting loopy even when she hasn't dosed you but she'll start back up again as soon as that's faded. She might overuse it a bit. ♡

♡ Selene does it because she's worried her cute pet will leave her if they ever think critically about how much of a bad person she is so she uses it so you won't think and will just be her cute happy pet all the time, everything is okay as long as it's to keep your soulmate beside you anyways plus she's a very good owner, she makes sure you have the cutest most comfortable clothes, a pet doesn't need anything practical though, she'll feed you the best cat girl approved diet even though you might hate it(obviously because it's food for a cat like so much fish and milk, yuck) but with her dosing you, you'll forget how disgusting it is, and of course plenty of running outside with her so her pet will get some mental stimulation and she get to mount you so it's a win for both of you. She will never ever consider stopping and she will abuse the fuck out of it, what did you expect? This is Selene we're talking about. ♡

♡ Kassien will do it anytime you're showing resistance and she'll be so subtle about it that you won't even realize you feel much loopier than normal, it's usually not her first go to though and she'll use a very small amount of it, remember all demons, even mid ranked ones have the power to make their mate feel sleepy though angels have this even stronger than normal demons so if she combines this with a very light dosing it'll feel much more powerful and since it's a light dose you likely won't build resistance to it. She likes it for training, she can't deny you're so cute and pliant like this but she would prefer you give into your instincts without it, she's one of the meaner ones, if you try to fight her too much then she'll go full force with it and make you start to feel really stupid cause you can't seem to do anything and she always has to help you so then you'll learn that you need to just let her do everything. It's better than her breaking a leg though. If you push her too hard she won't stop dosing you ever though if she trusts you again more then the dose will be switched from strong to medium at least. She doesn't feel bad, you were the one who fought her so hard. ♡

♡ Nikki tries it to make you sleepy with her and is not a fan of it, sure you're cute but why do you have so much energy, perhaps she needs to give you more? All that does is make you horny and while she likes having you horny, she would really like you to take naps with her and so once again she increases the dose and now you're sleepy all the time which she really likes so in short she uses it way too much, has no remorse, and is never going to stop now that she's found the optimal dose to make you her perfect sleeping partner. This will affect your mind long term, you will not be able to form proper thoughts anymore but he doesn't seem to care at all. ♡

♡ Runa starts to do it because she finds the exact same guide as Eliza, she however is not a huge fan of it because it lasts too long and it makes you really stupid, it's hard to get off on degrading you when you think she's being sincere and then she just feels like a bad mate so eventually she takes you off of it, she really wished it had worked but you seem to think she's being sincere when you're on it so it's too risky, she really likes how scared you are of being without her after it and how much you rely on her so she did get some benefits from it. ♡

♡ Nora is most likely to do it from the start, the moment she's handed your file she started to think of how she could make herself a integral part of your life that you can't live without, this skips all the trying to be your perfect girlfriend stuff cause now you're so reliant on her that even if you don't love her, you need her and will let her just take care of you forever and tie you up and since she decided to go that route from day one, she'd probably kidnap you and just permanently dose you, no courting,, just waking up in a big woman's house permanently high and having to rely on her for every single thing though honestly it really is nice, she would treat you very well, she does actually feel bad about it but she's just such a bad person that there's no way you would want to be with her otherwise. ♡

♡ Sawyer does it when you're pushing her away on her heat or really in general, look she's not proud of it but she really needs a bit of affection from you and if she's not receiving she'll dose you once a week so you'll actually allow her to pet and cuddle you. She doesn't overdo it though, she knows exactly the right amount that would be unhealthy for your mind long term, after all if she just makes you a stupid cat then how are you supposed to spend her money and go on these fancy dates with her, she does enjoy it while it lasts and she doesn't feel bad, you brought this upon yourself by not loving her enough. Plus you seem happier in cat mode so what's the big deal? ♡

[ironunderstands]

Fu Xuan X Qingque is fucking peak IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

Today I’m gonna yap about how underrated this absolutely incredible ship is, and why I love it, so sit back and enjoy because I have THOUGHTS. Also, thank you so much to @cosmicquilt on tumblr for providing me their own insight into it, as well as a place for me to begin, I really do appreciate it! 

Before I go in depth on them, I think their status as *package deal do not separate* is really funny and cute, and I’m surprised people don’t point it out more with just how obvious it really is.

Here’s some example’s I’ve collected (thank you quilt for the first two screenshots!) 

This is from the food event in 2.0, and to me it seems like Fu Xuan bought it out of curiosity, then Qingque had some and got messy because of it.

They are also together in the Penacony mural thing (just like Aventio hehe), and you can see Qingque reaching towards a gambling machine while Fu Xuan pulls her back, as if she predicted the other would immediately make a beeline towards the machines, and had to prevent that from happening. 

Today Is Another Peaceful Day is the name of the lightcone shared between them, whose description is quite comical.

Fu Xuan did infact find her again, she is angry and the sweets Qingque bought to placate her don’t seem like they are going to do much 😭.

Qingque also makes an appearance in Fu Xuan’s trailer, which only tends to happen when characters have an established close relationship or connection (like Dan Heng appearing in Blade’s)

Their team joining voicelines also match perfectly- in fact they tell a pretty funny story of yet another time Fu Xuan goes to look for Qingque, who’s supposedly slacking off again.

This also implies that Fu Xuan knows Qingque well enough at this point to guess accurately where she would be hiding and when she would leave, which is adorable and honestly really funny. 

Overall, on a surface level, their Looney Tunes dynamic is incredibly entertaining and endearing, making their relationship rather lighthearted and sweet. Girlboss X Girlfailure is always fun to watch and a personal favorite in ships for me is when one character has to deal with the other’s antics (you know who :3). I also think it’s a good way to set up a developing relationship, as they get closer and closer together each time they play this game of cat and mouse, which is something that is demonstrated by the game.

So, let’s look at them a little deeper now.

Within the quest, Omniscient Inquiry of Arcana, which is found within the main Xianzhou quest line, we see firsthand how much Fu Xuan actually trusts Qingque. 

Even if Qingque is often unreliable, Fu Xuan is not at all surprised that she is the one who helped bring the Nameless to her, as Fu Xuan knows she can bet on Qingque to come through with her responsibilities when she needs to.

The thing is, Qingque is lazy, but she is by no means incompetent, and gets all her work done on time. Moreover, Fu Xuan knows this better than anyone, especially considering she’s the one who has to go looking for Qingque when she slacks off 90% of the time (something which she doesn’t have to do, she could delegate someone else to do it yet every time Fu Xuan personally sees the matter done). 

So, even if Qingque is just a librarian, instead of fetching someone else to help, Fu Xuan also has her restart the base terminals for the Matrix of Presence, because she knows and trusts Qingque to be capable of it, almost without a second thought. 

Even if the task at hand isn’t particularly difficult, and Fu Xuan could easily do it herself, she lets herself be lazy and trusts Qingque to do so, as I will get into further, they are far more similar than Fu Xuan realizes.

In the quest line prior, Qingque also describes just how much she in turn believes in Fu Xuan, stating that even if the sky were to collapse, she could count of Fu Xuan attempting to hold it up- and she makes fun of Fu Xuan for being short despite being of similar stature.

A remark such as that illustrates how time and time again, Qingque has witnessed Fu Xuan put her all into protecting the Xianzhou and its people, which has earned Fu Xuan Qingque’s utmost respect, even if that doesn’t stop her from slacking off from time to time.

As funny as their dynamic is, the genuine trust they display in one another is heartwarming, and as much as they annoy one another (or really as much as Qingque bothers Fu Xuan with her antics), they truly do have faith in each other. Continually, Qingque’s awareness of the burden’s Fu Xuan has to carry slots her into a unique role of being one of the few people who could support her in a time of need.

Which is exactly what we get to witness in the Heliobi event.

Fu Xuan gets possessed and fire’s Qingque because of it, who isn’t too upset about it as admittedly her tendency to slack off was waisting her life. 

However, she attempts to give a speech to drag Fu Xuan out of her possession, attempting to mask it as her desire to not be fired disgracefully, but really she just wanted to break Fu Xuan out of the illusion. 

Unfortunately, Fu Xuan isn’t having it, and spouts a lot of stuff to the ghostbusting gang, expressing that her former attempts to change the Xianshou’s fate were futile, and that destiny is unavoidable and unchangeable, and that human’s desires to resist it are pointless.

Then, she makes the squad + QQ play a puzzle in which she controls all the outcomes, just to demonstrate how pointless the choices humans make, as they will always lead to the same result. To possessed Fu Xuan, choice is merely an illusion, a waste of time, and she cannot be convinced of it otherwise.

Until Qingque steps in. And perhaps the greatest demonstration of just how much she CARES for Fu Xuan plays out.

Qingque starts out by saying that the game Fu Xuan made them play is not an accurate representation of reality, and that the universe doesn’t have puzzles for them to solve. People have free will, and even if Qingque uses that will to slack off, those choices are still hers and still CHOICES. 

However Fu Xuan isn’t buying it, and this is when the core of why she was possessed in the first place gets revealed.

Qingque’s choices don’t have consequences, at least not far reaching as Fu Xuan’s do. But every action, every decision, every minute step in any direction that Fu Xuan takes could plunge the entire Xianzhou into chaos, and ruin EVERYTHING. 

So, Qingque proposes a new puzzle, hoping to be able to change Fu Xuan’s mind this time.

Qingque fails again this time, however Fu Xuan is starting to get an idea of what she’s getting and, and Qingque reiterates that there will always be more choices to make, even if the puzzles appear to only have one solution.

Therefore, she tries one last time.

Qingque shoves her own solution into the puzzle, her own way by drawing on the help of the ghostbusting squad, but still Fu Xuan cannot be convinced, believing instead that the thousands of different paths people take all lead to the same destination, so making choices is pointless.

However, that’s not what Qingque is getting at, and in perhaps the most heartfelt speech given in this game so far, she saves Fu Xuan, and demonstrates why her choices DO matter. Moreover, she does it in the most Qingque way possible- by explaining it through a comparison to Celestial Jade.

It’s not winning or the outcome that makes Celestial Jade fun, it’s the choices you get to make while you play it which is what makes it enjoyable. However, much like how even if the outcome of a game is predetermined, just because the universe’s destiny could be predetermined doesn’t mean people are aware of it, or that it even matters. Like in a game, in your life , you cannot control all the outcomes, but how you react to the twists and turns it throws your way, and the choices you make because of that, is what makes living worth it.

And if Fu Xuan’s choices didn’t matter, she wouldn’t be making them in the first place.  Perhaps she can’t prevent everything, and perhaps the universe really is weighted against her and the Luofu, but every day Fu Xuan makes decisions that help it stay around a little longer, that save a few more people, that buy a bit more time. The universe isn’t a game, and you can’t just determine your decisions to be meaningless because of some threatening ending that might never come to pass, and like Qingque says, Fu Xuan wouldn’t suffer the effort if what she works so hard for doesn’t mean anything. 

By reaffirming that destiny is an illusion, Qingque saves Fu Xuan and breaks her out of the Heliobi’s possession. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

PROTECTIVE QINGQUE AAAAAARREAAAAA GRRRRRR TJEY ARE SO IN LOVE GRRRRR R SNANAKMZS AAAAAAA

Qingque tries to get out of work for good but Fu Xuan reminds her that Qingque reminded her that she had choices, and Qingque gets flustered and accepts her defeat.

What do you mean by that Fu Xuan, what do you mean by that, hmm? HMMM??? ELABORATE FU XUAN ELABORATE??? Sesbian lex???

So Qingque is in love with her boss and we all cheered, but don’t worry, and QQ also happens to get possessed by a Heliobus, and the way Fu Xuan behaves towards her is just as sweet and hilarious.

In her illusion, there’s a bunch of Fu Xuan clones who praise Qingque, much to the annoyance of Fu Xuan, who gets flustered and angry over it. Honestly I love just how many romance tropes that are displayed in their relationship, with this as a prime example. Like making a bunch of clones of your crush to praise you? Having Fu Xuan bear witness to exactly what makes Qingque happy (her praise)? The boss-employee dynamic getting reversed? I love it give me 500000. 

The nickname??? Oh you just know Qingque was waiting to call her that, infact she probably had it in her brain for a while, but just didn’t feel confident enough to do it in her previous power dynamic with Fu Xuan, so I wonder what else Qingque holds back from Fu Xuan because she doesn’t believe they are close enough for that. 

Ooh she’s mad mad GET ITS ASS FU XUAN YEAAAHHHH YEEAAH THATS WHAT YOU GET HELIOBUS HAHAHAHAHAH 

What if I ascended to another dimension? What if I left this mortal plane? What if Honkai Star Rail what if? What do you mean Fu Xuan is fussing over Qingque like a wife when her husband returns from war, what do you mean she goes, “As long as you’re okay,” then immediately is like “get back to work,” because she realized she was being too soft. What do you mean she fucking PATS QINGQUE ON THE HEAD AND LEAVES LIKE THAT???? 

I’m actually insane about this like how does nobody talk about them? The most peak relationship ever right there and I see NOTHING??? Like not only is it fucking hilarious with their game of cat and mouse they having going on with one another, but they truly just understand and adore each other even if both of them haven’t exactly realized it yet.

If I were to be 100% honest if you told me that speech Qingque gave to Fu Xuan in the Heliobi event was a confession one, then I would believe you because that was the most romantic shit ever. Like telling your companion in a time of need that their choices DO mean something and that they are such a capable individual whom everyone relies on, who YOU rely on?? If I was Fu Xuan I would have proposed right there I would have summoned up a ring I don’t care.

It’s just, I love relationships where two characters just GET one another inside and out, and FuQing is such a perfect example of it. Something about a trust that runs so deep that the two people who forged that bond don’t even realize it because of simply how long it’s persisted, like they’ve just acclimated to it because it’s been such a fixture of life for so long.

They are each other’s safety nets, and when one of them is in need, the other always delivers and UGHH IM INSANE ABOUT IT.

HOW DID THIS FLY UNDER PEOPLES NOSES??! HOW DID EVERYONE DO THE 1.5 EVENT AND NOT IMMEDIATELY START RUNNING LAPS AROUND THEIR HOUSE BECAUDE WHAT??? Literally that speech Qingque gives to Fu Xuan is one of my favorite scenes in the game, perhaps right behind the 1.6 Ratio-Screwllum scene and if you know me then you know how absolutely bonkers I am about that scene. It’s just so earnest and funny and it encapsulates the themes of HSR perfectly, with Qingque reiterating the overarching theme of the game: Trailblazing, ie moving forward with life no matter the destination (destiny), as it’s the choices you make along the way and the journey you take that matters.

Moreover, that’s what makes it so fucking good; it meshes perfectly with the overall story of the game. Despite how busy both of them are, despite how they often have higher priorities or could just go to other people or whatever, Qingque and Fu Xuan consistently choose one another, for both the most trivial and the most dire of situations. 

The road ahead for the Xianzhou is uncertain, but no matter how the path twists, Qingque and Fu Xuan will travel it side by side, and for that I will always adore them.

Thank you so much for reading! I fear I couldn’t be as intelligent about why I love this ship as I wanted to be, but I hope you at least got the idea a little bit haha. Maybe I’ll be able to me smarter about them one day but for now all my thoughts about them circle back to incoherent screaming. Honestly it’s probably because I like their dynamic far more than I like their characters standalone, so I can’t really bring that into the discussion, but perhaps with time I will be able to add onto this. For now though, all I’m hoping for is the wedding they deserve lol. 

[neonnoir-ao3]

Caine and Pomni falling in love in the Circus and making it out together only for Caine to realize how warped all their personalities were compared to who they actually are in reality, but especially Pomni’s.

Okay literal train-of-thought word salad from here on out, prepare yourselves accordingly.

• Like he knows Pomni as an anxious little jester but they love each other and she’s cute and funny and affectionate and all that fun stuff. But once they’re in reality he follows her like a lost puppy because he has no idea how this place works and gets to see how she actually lives.

• Pomni is basically an accidental femcel when it comes to vibes. A complete girlfailure, if you will. (socially isolated, chronically single brunette with glasses, you get the idea)

• A “nice relaxing night for her” is playing a random YouTube video essay that’s like three hours long while lounging on the couch and not wearing pants, eating an entire bag of chips and probably hitting her bong. She gave up on dating in college due to failure after failure so she’s accepted that she’s gonna die alone… or rather she says she has. (She read that “I’m not doing to be loved in this lifetime, am I?” quote in a TikTok slideshow and proceeded to down an entire bottle of wine that night while sobbing)

• She wanted to get a cat to ease the loneliness, but she doesn’t feel good enough�� a cat deserves more than just a shitty apartment with a wreck of an owner in their mid-20s.

• He goes back to her apartment— it’s dingy and shitty but it’s the closest place to the office that she can afford. Her half of her pantry is ramen she bought in bulk. She’s medicated to high heaven and her kitchen counters look like a pharmacy.

• Pomni is either so fucking embarrassed when Caine sees how her life is in reality or the Human Depression™ in her Human Body™ has already set back in by the time they get there and she’s just miserably accepting of it. There is no in-between.

• She showers for the first time since The Incident (she didn’t need to bathe in the DC, her clothes were literally attached to her body there/hygiene was a total nonissue in that world) and she just breaks down and spends a good 30-40 minutes taking a scalding hot shower (as all the depressed girlies do) while sobbing her heart out. It’s cathartic as fuck to be able to lose her shit for once without the threat of abstraction, but it also hurts so fucking badly at the exact same time.

• Something about mental illness in real humans versus their digital avatars really messes with Caine. At the very least he could create a zany adventure to get their mind off of things, but then there’s some days where Pomni just stays in bed all day and doesn’t say a word. This world is so harsh and dull and colorless in comparison to the world he was made for, and there are fleeting moments where he wonders if it would’ve been better if they had both stayed there.

[shaunamilfman]

Having thoughts about being Van’s roommate in college and the two of you being pretty close so all she does is platonically talk you up to the girls. One night when Van thought you were gonna be out, she ended up bringing them all back to your apartment for a pregame or something. And when they walked through the door you’re j in some nice ass clothes, sitting on the couch playing video games w your friend. And one or all of the girls (Shauna, Jackie or Lottie) is immediately enamored w you.

They come through the door laughing and all eyes immediately land on you and your friend on the couch. “Oh hey y/n, I’m sorry I thought you’d have left by now.” “No worries, man, me and Sam were gonna leave in a bit after we played one match.” You get up from the couch, controller in one hand as you extend the other to shake theirs “Hey it’s nice to finally meet you guys, Van’s told me all about you girls.” And all of them are just staring slack jawed. Van suggests you guys should just wait and all go to the party together, where they spend the entirety of the pregame trying to flirt with you, and the whole party desperately attempting to get with you.

Lottie/Jackie/Shauna sloshed while trying to be subtly flirting with you, when in reality it’s A. Very obvious, B. EXTREMELY sloppy and C. Useless cause you’re already into them, and you’re just waiting until they’re sober enough to remember you asking them on a date.

van accidentally acting like those comment sections where they're like "omg i remember when you saved my cat/nephew/5th cousin from a fire!". she's so totally genuine about it though lmao

jackieshaunalot x reader??? im so in bro. thinking about jackie and lottie trying to hype you up while your playing your game and they have no fucking idea what they're talking about. they're watching you to see when they should get excited for you. jackie def has a "ye- i mean noooooo" moment.

jackie and shauna joined forces to compete against lottie when jackie convinced shauna it would give them 50/50 odds of winning instead of 33% (and they say jackie cant do math). they end up girlfailuring their way into a trio after realizing they'd make it 100% odds. (jackie felt threatened by lotties pink skirt)

jackie thought she was being soooo subtle but shes like falling over herself drunk as she's feeling up your arms and shit at the party. all flirty like "Oh, hehe was that yourrrrr drink?" as she's sipping from your cup and like twirling her hair around her finger. shauna and lottie do not do subtle sober so they didn't bother to try when drunk. they're all over you all night fr.

van's watching from the sidelines like 🤔. she does not understand how this happened

[cr0wqui11]

ask game ask game ask game

I have two if you may, Penny and Tammy :D cdplayer for the cdplayerer ofc <3

👗🥇💝❤️‍🔥

👗 - A hc about their clothes

Tammy: Tammy definitely dresses modestly. She likes to use pinks in her outfits. If she could come to school wearing a pink dress, she would. I definitely believe her fashion sense improved over the years. She probably dressed like Barbie when she was like 14 lmao. Now she’s aware of colour schemes and stuff. I think she wears white and pink, maybe some gold accessories? She has her iconic cross necklace too

Penny: Penny is definitely comfort over style, but she still likes to try and look nice. I think her style is grunge. She dresses modestly as well, but she’s not strict with it as Tammy, I could see her wearing some shorts if it’s hot outside lmao

🥇 - A hc about what they’re best at

Tammy: Tammy is weirdly good at making soup. Also cooking in general but mainly soup. She’s also good with kids

Penny: Penny is good at animal based trivia, or really anything animal related. All 14 of Ricky’s cats like her and Ocean can’t seem to figure out why. While Tammy is good with kids, Penny is good with animals! She’s also good with kids simply bc of raising Ezra but she gets really nervous about accidentally fucking smth up

💝 - A hc about their love language

Tammy: Tammy’s love language is words of affirmation. She’s good at comforting people and also making them feel loved (very good for Penny)

Penny: Penny’s love language is gift giving. She’ll give little trinkets to Tammy as a form of affection. She also uses animal courting methods, like giving Tammy a rock (penguins give their lover a rock to propose to them)

Also they’re both big on physical touch!!

❤️‍🔥 - A romantic hc

Tammy: When Tammy crushes on someone, she crushes on them in a loser girlfailure way. Absolutely smitten. Penny is completely unaware of this, but it’s bc Tammy is able to hide it well. Tammy is the type of girl to pass a cute note to Penny in class and giggle when Penny gets flustered by it

Penny: When Penny crushes on someone, she gets REALLY nervous around them. She always fumbles her words and she can’t flirt to save her life. It’s really funny (and cute) to Tammy, but Tammy just thinks Penny acts like that bc she’s a generally nervous person

[another-bsod-fan]

"minori is such a girlkisser girlfailure wet cat insert weirdass title here—" SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MINORI

[shibalatte]

sorry ive been inactive. ive been too busy either writing girlfailure yuri or being autistic about warrior cats (which is weird bc as soon as you turn 18 ur supposed to get rid of all ur weird guyisms and not get all giddy when they give barley a tnr ear but whatever)

anyway i keep randomly crying whenever school or anything in the future gets brought up but whatever fuck it we ball

[adelaidedrubman]

Just ploppin into your asks to tell you that I simply love your writing. Just? The absolute pathetic wet cat energy you give John (While he basically sees himself as a tiger or some shit?) A++ Also Jestiny? Such a fun character! 4D chess master of our hearts. Whenever you post a snippet or a full thing it is directly opened in a new tab so that I know I have something fun and a+ written to read later. But I am curious. Have not been here from the start: How did Jestiny come to be?

HI ANON sorry for sitting on this for a hot second. combination of ask made me so happy and the Horrors made me so sad which made me need to hoard the ask extra to cheer up. ANYWAYS. thank you SO much pathetic john is so very near and dear to my heart and i am glad i pull it off.

and as for birth of jestiny (ah fuck she has a birthday coming up huh)... i guess it’s kind of a (haha pun) cop out to say her starting point inspiration was just me sitting and reflecting on what kind of character i would want to see both in the deputy role and in a relationship with That Fucking Guy. and the answer to that was a girlfailure who is Just Some Guy (derogatory).

my primary aim there was to craft someone with like. the thinnest veneer of being Better Than Him that only holds up if she’s Standing Right Next To Him for comparison. meant in the moral sense (tbt to her self-proclaiming her grounds of superiority as “well, i’m not going around ripping people’s skin off” ethics legend) and also in the being obnoxious and pathetic unbearable and making everyone want to kill her with hammers sense. and to make that something that sorta peels back like #OnionsLayers so that she has the effect of like. omg she is sooooo justified and cool and badass if you glance at her for five seconds. she has witty one liners and she’s literally not ripping people’s skin off. well not much. i think i’ve said this before but at her core she is supposed to be a riff on the america’s sweetheart/small town hero cop thing, because. well. irl that person would suck. so she sucks<33 it’s been a lot of fun.

also wanted it to be glaringly obvious it’s like. a sex thing for her

[wavepriisms]

it's that time again, let's liveblog more asdc chapters that weren't animated!!

genuinely so sad they skipped over so much of the manga. mangakakalot also doesn't have 37-45 so i'm wondering what happened to those? asdc lost media

chapter 49, "the wise one enters the jaws of death"

everyone give a warm welcome to kanna!! just from the first page she seems very organized. she even cares about the rules about skirt length even though literally no one else including the teachers care. wuh oh!! here comes nao!! the kind of person kanna wants to stay away from!!

kanna wants to ask about board games, her one and only hobby!! this is beginning to seem like yuri!! girl who stands up for every rule x girl who could not care less about rules. she got lost in her thoughts about board games (moved recently, hasn't found any friends to play with), and almost followed nao home. tripped and fell when she ran away. she is a bit of a girlfailure. nao denies any and all allegations of being a gamer. manager-san shows up, tells her to come back to the shop sometime because the cat is getting lonely.

nao, kanna, and manager-san decide to play ciao ciao!! ciao ciao is a bluffing game. the players have 7 pieces, whoever gets 3 across the board first wins. you roll a dice numbered 1-4 in a tube and move that many spaces. other players can call your bluff if you lie, though!! if you're caught bluffing, that piece is no longer in play, but if you're not lying, the player who called your bluff gets their piece taken away. 5 and 6 are replaced by an x, forcing you to bluff.

nao complains that she can't read manager-san because of his sunglasses, and takes them off!! she puts them back on because she thinks he's too pretty!! girl you are 15 he's not gonna date you!!

kanna wins the game, nao only got one piece across.

kanna says she wants to play more board games together sometime, and nao blushes a little bit!! please be yuri i can't take anymore secondhand embarrassment!! also nao only calls kanna "nerd"

chapter 50, "the magic that binds us together"

kanna asks nao to have lunch with her, maybe go to emmy's board game cafe after school, and nao just straight up says she doesn't want to be friends.

kanna's unnamed classmates (friends? unsure) tell her lots of rumors about nao. drugs, yakuza boyfriend, scammer, thief. someone's wallet was stolen and nao was the only one in the room, and denied any knowledge of the crime. kanna knows she can't lie because she fucking sucks at ciao ciao. kanna catches nao after school, nao asks why she wants to hang out so bad and kanna says she knows nao is just a normal girl deep down. the game shop is closed, so they have some free time together. they go to emmy's game cafe, emmy's dad greets them.

they play magic labyrinth. the box art and logo remind me of the movie labyrinth. in the game, you are an apprentice wizard who needs to find magic symbols in a labyrinth. the game is simple, you roll a die and collect tokens. the pieces are magnetic, however, and a little ball on the underside of the board falls whenever you move against an invisible wall. if you hit a wall, you go back to the start.

nao memorized where most of the walls were, and won!! kanna says she's amazing and could become a super awesome gamer!!

they unironically started blushing when they got close to each other i think there's actually something happening here...

the original dice club showed up, and that's where i'll end my liveblogging entirely!! i'll leave the rest for you all to read yourselves <3

[maribel-bat]

carly for the ask meme! :3

Why I like them/why I don’t: Love her! Love her! I love Carly so much!! She just really stumbles her way into the narrative and they did her so dirty in the second half but like, she carries so much in the first half its fucking crazy. Also I have so many screenshots of her making expressions of all time because like...they really went hard with those. I think her character arc is compelling and I'm a big fan of failgirl girlfailures.

What I like about their appearance: The glasses! Tbh as someone who's drawn her more than once, those are always fun to draw, but the hair is also great. It's just one big chunky block and its really funny. She's so shaped.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?: I'm torn honestly, because they both have a nice ring to it. Carly Carmine really gives off the kinda awkward bit with alliteration while Carly Nagisa is very pretty. I think its the dichotomy of Carly herself that makes me so indecisive.

OTP: It'd have to be Scoopshipping for sure. I mean, it's pretty much canon, and again, failgirl girlfailure and guy who is trying so so so hard and doing it very badly is just a hilarious recipe for Funny Things. Besides I also think reporter and celebrity is a fun dynamic, it's just entertaining to have her definitely not beating the Jack Atlas Bias Allegations.

NOTP: Can't pick a specific one. Just. Don't ship her with any of the obvious No's, thanks.

OT3: Hm. Maybe adding in Misty would work? Don't know how well Jack would share but her and Carly seem to have some compatibility. It'd be funny to see her trying to introduce the two of them like you introduce animals who don't quite get along yet but you really want them to. Yes she likes both of you. Please get over it already.

Favourite card they use: I have to pick Aslla piscu on principle. Partly because I'd feel bad trying to pick between any of the fortune fairies. I can't pick favorites!

Favourite moment they were in: Episode 31. The whole thing is so fucking funny.

Least favourite moment: Listen I could try to pick a specific bit but honestly, any of the love. triangle(?) thing. that she ends up having going on. Idk what to call that shit. It's just uncomfortable.

Something you associate with the character: this thing

also under the cut (because its not technically part of the askmeme) i want my dash and everyone to have a picture of the actual cat I own named Carly Nyagisa, thank you for looking at her

i could have grabbed a better picture but this was maybe two seconds before she completely fell off the cat tree in some sort of blissful ignorance of her surroundings brought on by the ecstasy of trying her damnedest to kill a feather toy and thus its the best picture.

[m0thcl0wn]

zou ramble post

whyd Wanda lick Luffy

also Pedro <3

OH Robin and the dragon, shes adorable shes really grown to be one of my favourites over all (i dont think i could list like 1-10 my favourite straw hats, theyre all my favourites)

Law

Luffy getting washed away after being told to hang on. love him. idiot.

BEPO

"then its true they must be-" "A Cannibal Tribe." "NOOOOO"

i love Shachi's voice

i like the new eye catchers theyre fun

the chumby gatormobile (Wany)

Zoro letting Usopp puppet him. like he just goes along with it

Nami sleeping on the sheep (shes so pretty in the purple/blue? dress)

STOP LICKING HIM WANDA??

theyre all happy to see luffy the most they love their captain

Sanji :(

Zoro noticing Nami get upset at the mention of Sanji

(god WCI is going to fucking HURT)

((like im already crying, Sanji has been one of my favourites since the beginning, i know some what what happens in it but GOD its nothing like the real thing yknow? the same with when Ace died, i knee it was coming but it hurt like hell))

BROOK MY BELOVED

they keep apologising for Sanji, my chest hurts

Brook with his hand on Luffys shoulder, hes a dad

the dog minks going after Brook cos hes bones LEAVE HIM ALONE and the straw hats just letting it happen

(side note sanji with his shirt/jacket over his shoulders hes SO HOT)

i love getting to watch Brook actually fight, hes so cool

them using Ceaser to carry the canon balls wheeze

"shippy" (sadly)

god Sanji

HEART PIRATES REUNION

Law holding up Bepo (his lil smile) hes so happy seeing his crew again

Luffy making the bridge jump usopp telling him to read the room

"Luffy dont talk about the samurai" "wheres the ninja our SAMURAI FRIEND KINEMON wanted to see" youre such an idiot Luffy i love you

Shishilian <3

Dogstorm big and him falling asleep mid convo about Shanks

Pekoms crying over his family and changing his hatred for the straw hats to Nack and beast pirates wheeze

Ceaser is v cute, i like him a lot (i like his cunty leotard and eyeliner)

i wonder if Sanji *knew* that this ends up the way it does (ep 762, idk if its confirmed after this, thats where i am while writing it), the looks he keeps giving makes me think he does, does he know that this will lead back to Germa 66 and his family?

POOR PEKOMS WTF BEGE

"Sanji gets a startling invitation" aAA

do you ever think about the dudes in Bege and like, do you wonder what they thought the first time around getting inside this dude?

"i can kick your lumpy ass anytime"

Ceaser is a girlfailure

"i imagine youd have to slice through his abandon" thank you robin

do they never show us haow to get in the castle castle fruit, thats what i wanna know, thats freaky as hell

oh Sanji has gotta know right hes so angry

OOO VINSMOKE MENTION FINALLY

oh god this is really gonna hurt

he looks so disgusted at the invitation poor dude

Brook knows about the Vinsmokes?

they all love their captain so much

poor Sanji

(he is so handsome though)

WHAT DID VITO SAY TO HIM

two smokers staring each other down across a long table

sanji my poor self sacrificing boy

pain

SANJI HUGGING THEM ONLY TO THROW THEM OUT

this is going to hurt so much

Zoro stop being a little bitch

(hes not really but like cmon yknow, you can just be honest that youre worried)

Luffys lil tongue licking his sting

i love whenever Brook gets to sing it always slaps and i just love him

master cat viper(tm) the song slaps idc what anyone says

the raindeer/deer mink chopper falls in love with for like 30 seconds

"youre worried about Sanji too, huh?" Luffy knows his crew like the back of his hands

the heart pirates posing for Luffy

"not cool not cool not cool" you tell him

"we're not friends we're strategic allies" oh law youre already in too deep

cat viper is garfield?

Brook, Franky and Robin trying to guess what the drawing was

Kin'emon and Kanjuro share one braincell

FUCKING SHISHILIAN WHEEZE whyd he scream!! cmon man!!!

dogstorm and cat viper (enemies to friends to lovers 80k words)

the minks letting their city fall for their friends sobbing

the soft soft music

HES HAD A BACK TAT THIS WHOLE TIME?

lord momonosuke wild

"nin nin NINJA"

theyre so sad its not the ninja they wanted

(more and more talk of wano, so fucking close)

((123 EPISODES UNTIL WANO))

Luffys frowny face

LAW GETTING EXCITED ABOUT THE NINJA

theyre menacing Raizo poor man

"so, no shadow clowns?" sobs Law i love you hes so fucking excited when Raizo does it

theyre all so happy about it

"THERES FOUR LAUGH TALES THATS CRAZY" "YOU IDIOT JUST LET THE DOG TALK"

"shes SUPEERRR" frobin stans rise

feral for Rayleigh that man is SO hot i shouldnt be allowed near him (also Roger. actually worse with Roger, tumblr would delete me if i said anything)

hes gonna say no

INKNEW IT

overtaken getting louder in the background god i love the music of op

"straw hat you shouldve run this be me first" "but its cool right?" "well yeah but"

AWW KANJURO DOING THE FRANKT POSE

they fist pump for the alliance

"do we need the ninja part?" "OH COURSE WE DO"

"us being allies means we're best friends"

Zoro is so jealous of his captain praising Sanji

the beast pirates planning on killing Zunesha makes me think, what is zous plan when Zunesha died?

MARCO

Luffy being like who the fuck is marco? "he looks like a pineapple" OH THAT GUY

"dinner time dinner time dinner time dinner time"

"captain could you bring back a poneglyph rubbing pretty please" "THAT WAS SO CUTE" youre right usopp it was

love Luffy being a special little guy

Pedros tail LONG

YOOOOOOO BEAT THEIR ASS ZUNESHA

Zoro getting lost and Law making fun of him

new clima tact lets gO

starting to see some,,, odd art choices

and just like that no more Zou

WHOLE CAKE ISLAND HERE I COME

VIVI??

[yandere-fics]

Y'know what. List time. Here's a list of fucked up things I would let the yans do to me.

Selene: drug me/get me drunk so she could take advantage of the fact I'm too weak to fight back.

Veronia: fuck the shit out of my face with her weird dragon dick, then switch over to her human one after she cums, double dosing me.

Kassien: Cut my legs off. I'd let her do it. I don't need them. If she promises to take care of me forever that will be my sign of ultimate devotion.

Eliza: mark her territory. You know what I mean. Otherwise I'd let her dick me down in wolf form if she promises to chase me through the woods first.

Bibi and Ainsley: They could do whatever they wanted to me and I would let it happen. I would smile and say thank you. I'd let them lobotomise me if they'd like to.

Pauline: I'd let her beat me up if she wanted. Like if she wanted to seem cool and tough I'd let her whoop my ass as long as she takes care of me afterwards.

Naga pauline: Ngl when I first read the naga Pauline fic I didn't realise at first that darling was going to stay in her room with her willingly. I originally thought she was going to lure darling in by pretending to be sick, only to shut the door behind you and keep darling as her own. I just assumed the other maids would go "oh well, she's dead". I'd let Naga Pauline do that to me.

Nora: Please tie me up 24/7 pleasepleasepleaseplease I'd literally let her keep me in a rope coccoon and keep me constantly bound so she can hold me and do whatever she wants with me.

Runa: Oh man... oh man... I'd be her little pet. I'd make that my full time job, walking on all fours, wearing stupid cat ears or something, just playing into all her gross fantasies.

-girlfailure

I don't drink(1, cause I'm not 21 so not supposed to technically speaking though that doesn't mean I haven't, 2, cause my acid reflux already makes me pukey.) but if I did I would so let Selene feed me bottle after bottle until I can't even walk on my own, also when I'm sick in the morning I would let her take care of me so she can use that to get even more sexual favors cause look she held my hair back like a good mate so i should do my part as a good mate and suck her dick even if i feel gross a bit still.

[arieeeeeeeee-andrews]

The fucked up OC in question:

Scaredy-Cat.

Had to improvise a fuck-ton here, kinda failed. I’m not good at drawing clothes, or full-body drawings, I’m good at explaining characters though, soooooo.

28 years old.

Scared of pets, and mostly everyone and everything else, hence her nickname!

Works at the deli where Dude goes to buy milk, her job is the butcher!

Stinks of rotten and somewhat dead meat.

Eyes are puffy because she cries, a lot, like a lot a lot. Also doesn’t get enough sleep.

She fainted, and fell on her face (out of pure fear) when she first saw Dude.

Overdosed on heroin once, arms are kinda weird now.

Wheezes and is out of breath most of the time, gets exhausted easily.

girlfailure

Quality’s bad, click on the image or somethin.

Cya.

planning to make a persona

will kinda update on the design, i dunno

[yandere-fics]

Okok so I was having Theanna thoughts last night but then I woke up to this cleaning service thing and I simply MUST give Runa thoughts (I am so down bad)

Runa's apartment is... terrifying. The moment you enter you just know someone has died in here. You have the urge to just turn the fuck around and run but you're poor as poor can be and really need the money. As the day goes on it becomes apparent... yeah this is the serial killers apartment. Underneath the piles of trash and fast food bags is the occasional bloodstain seeped into the carpet. The rugs have never been vaccuumed and the whole place feels like it'd evaporate if you let the sunlight in. Hours pass and you get to her room, the smell is strongest here, like a dead tree, blood and... something... nice. As you prepare to remove the gross stained sheets from her bed, that scent invites you in. You guess you can spare a moment, you're almost done after all. You lie down, taking in the scent soaked into the bedsheets, feeling your own arousal grow. Your body falls weak, just a little rest. Suddenly you wake to the sound of keys, you panic, did you fall asleep on the job?! You're meant to be gone by the time she's back!! Oh shit oh shit oh shit

"Heyyyyy sorry I um. I was meant to be gone by now, I'm really sorry but I think you'll have to order a second session. We offer a discount if we can't get the place clean in one so... haha... bye!!" You stumble past her, running out the door hoping you aren't grabbed by the strange woman who 100% had a head in that garbage bag she was holding. She was cute yeah, in the way a raccoon is cute, but that scent in her apartment told you 1 very alarming thing - the serial killer is your soulmate.

The next day you get a call from your boss that you're recquired back at her apartment since you couldn't finish the job last time, you freak out and call in sick for the day, hoping to subject one of your coworkers to whatever cruel fate she had planned for you.

You awake that night to find yourself back in her apartment, you feel groggy like you've been drugged, you aren't wearing your pajamas, instead you're in... a maid outfit. You stand up, noticing the cat ears on your head, the collar around your neck, and the ankle monitor around your leg. You turn to the door to find her standing there, a big grin on her face, her phone in one hand, and a tail plug in the other.

-girlfailure (I was gonna write more but I'm eepy)

Nooooo not the tail plug, runa chill you literally just met, be normal for a day pleasseee(she so would).