#name one thing conservatives have ever done to help anyone

[yutafrita]

Dollhouse

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆.˚ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

half-vampire!Sungchan x Vampire Hunter!Reader (she/her; femme presenting)

Genre: Angst, dark fantasy

WC: 6.5k

Synopsis: You, an elite vampire hunter, have been assigned to take down the son of the infamous vampire, the puppeteer.

TW PLEASE READ: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! +18 ONLY. Excessive swearing, obsessive behaviors, stalking, a lot of gore, mentions of bullying, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, murder, suggestive/ sexual themes, dubcon heavily implied, violence/ threatened violence, death of family. Please proceed with caution.

I do not believe that any person written into this fic or any of my fics acts at all like these characters here. Their real life counterparts are just my inspiration and are utilized as actors for the story. No ill will is intended.

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You were going to get fired.

You felt it in your bones. Your leg wouldn’t stop fidgeting as you sat in Irene’s office, the crest of the organization looming over you making you feel small. 

Irene walked in, her face cold as stone as she threw a file in front of you before she sat on her chair, “this is your new job.”

You blinked, “what?”

“Initially, I was going to give it to Seulgi and put you on probation-.”

“I killed the vampire cleanly and quickly-.”

“And in front of another human,” Irene cut you off before pinching the bridge of her nose, “look. An insider told us that  you would work best for this job, and,” she sighed before opening the manilla folder, “I think they’re right. The puppeteer has been missing for months after we had finally devised a plan to take the motherfucker out.”

You squinted as you looked over the carefully collected information before you asked, “how much time do I have?”

“Not a lot, so hurry up.” -----------

The library was warm and inviting. It was a small public library that matched the small town it was nestled in. Even when agents were sent weeks ago, they all agreed- it was entirely unremarkable, which made him an even stranger anomaly. The town itself was often forgotten on maps and glossed over, but as you entered the library, you were in awe of the coziness. 

It was almost too easy to find out everything about him. Graduated from community college in library sciences. No one had a single mean thing to say about him… ever. Apparently he hadn’t been in a long term relationship in years either. Your angle had written itself to ensnare him without much help from anyone else in the organization.

You sauntered in slowly, your heels muffled by the dusty carpet as you slowly approached the center table where he sat. You had on a loose fitting dress that stopped at your calves, a low cut top that was still mildly conservative, your dark sunglasses, and your freshly done hair wrapped in a silk bandana.

You found it difficult to hold back your laughter as he locked eyes with you. He was processing a few returned books when he dropped his stamp to fully stare at you. You gave yourself permission to smirk once you made it to the desk, leaning against it to allow him to take full stock of you. His big brown eyes were scanning over every part of you, and by the tremble of his jaw you could tell he was fully trying to hold himself back.

"Hi sir, could you help me out?" your voice was low, and you watched as his dropped jaw slowly lifted. He blinked quickly, looking between your chest and lips before he cleared his throat and looked away, his ears now an embarrassing shade of red. The council had perfectly planned every minute detail down to the final strand of hair, and he was reacting even more deliciously than anticipated. 

It was almost too easy how much he was falling like putty in your hands.

"O-Of... of course! How can I help, miss?"

You removed your sunglasses and placed your hand on his chest where his name tag sat.

"Well... Sungchan," you smiled, tracing your fingers over his name before placing them back to your side, "I'm currently working on a project for a research course."

You began spouting off on a topic you knew Sungchan was absolutely fascinated by. The Vampire Hunter Council had done extensive research on the half-human bastard off-spring of the missing high profile leader of the Vampires. The puppeteer’s son’s eyes were still rounded, hanging onto every word coming out from between your glossy lips as you spoke.

After you finished, there was a pause, and then, "you're perfect."

"I'm sorry?" you pretended to not hear his mutter as you batted your eyelashes at him. He was half-vampire, but as far as you could tell either his vampiric side was fully dormant or barely did much- there were no reports of missing humans in the area, didn’t seem to have his father’s gifts, he was not nocturnal, and didn't bare any fangs.

You almost felt bad about having to kill him.

Even if Sungchan didn't know his monster of a father, it was still an absolute shame to vampires to have your offspring be murdered, and you planned to bring Sungchan's head to the feet of the Puppeteer. At least, that’s the plan. You’ll have to lob Sungchan’s head off after using him as bait to bring the puppeteer out from hiding. 

Sungchan had led you to the back of the library, his large hands holding several books and tapes for you.

“You seem to know a lot… are you busy later? I would love to pick your brain,” You were nearly purring, your hands squeezing his forearm. Cold. Not as cold as other vampires you’ve suckered into thinking you’re weak before killing them, but still colder than an average human. Was this the only way his vampiric side showed?

“No! I mean… I’m not I…” Sungchan was sputtering out now, his free hand pushing up his glasses.  “I- I would love to help you.”

“Hm… are those prescriptions?” You asked, your fingers moving to tap the bridge of his glasses and watch his breathing hitch. Vampires typically had enhanced vision, and while he was only half-human, none of his medical records showed that he had any possible visual impairments.

“N-no they’re for the uh… blue light…” his muttered, clearly flustered. After he led you back to the front desk he began typing away at the computer before nervously looking back up. "Do you have your library card?"

Before you left the vampire hunters council headquarters, you were given every bit of fake identification you would need and this indeed included a library card.

"I... I've never seen you around here before," he was clearly racking his head to remember you as he continued the check out process. He had read off your fake name, and you watched him mutter it to himself to commit it to memory.

"I got it somewhere else in the county," you fibbed, "so. I'll see you at the diner at 9?"

"Y-yes, absolutely."

_______________

You arrived at 9:12pm.

Sungchan sat in the corner in a small red booth with a bouquet of flowers, twiddling his thumbs upon your entrance. There were only three other patrons at the small diner, all at the counter with their backs to you as they stared up at the old television set playing a hockey game.

According to your research, Sungchan had gone on a few dates with a few people he went to the local high school with- so between his bashfulness, innocence, and likely exhaustion with his small dating pool, his eagerness to see you made sense. It was also something you and the rest of the vampire hunters council were banking on. You needed him to be obsessed with you- to post you online, for everyone in town to see you with the librarian, and allow this information to trickle up to his father. You were a top level hunter and were well hated enough by Vampires that this would not be overlooked- especially not by the Puppeteer.

"You look so handsome," you complimented, sitting across from the nervous young man. You were late on purpose- aiming to put him more on edge. You were in a tight mini dress and a pair of combat boots. A combination in your daily life you wouldn’t normally pick, but from his internet history seemed to be outfit pieces he really loved on women.

“Th-Thank you,” he then shoved the bouquet towards you, “these are for you.”

“Roses,” you hummed, staring down at the perfectly red petals, “you’re so sweet, thank you.”

“Um s-so roses are a great way to convey joy, friendship… passion,” he scratched the back of his neck bashfully. “They’re beautiful and uh… reminded me of you.”

“Roses are my favorite… are you a mind reader Sungchan?” you playfully reached across the table and tapped his shoulder. Lying was easier when you got to mix in the truth. Roses were your favorite, but they were also a part of the crest of the Vampiric Hunters for their scent is supposed to keep vampires at bay.

It seemed to also be another way that Sungchan’s vampiric side didn’t bare its teeth.

Sungchan was sickly sweet. As the weeks passed, each time you would go on a date he would bring either flowers, a book regarding your paper, or a poem he had written for you.

You were inside the motel you were crashing at, recounting this to the president of the hunters.

“Has anyone heard from the puppeteer?” you asked. A part of you was starting to genuinely feel guilty- Sungchan was so human. He ate human food, lounged in the sun, and even seemed to have a heartbeat.

You had considered that his vampiric powers had simply never awoken, and that they never would. This was highly uncommon in vampire hybrids, but genetics were fickle, so Sungchan wouldn’t be an exception if he really just seemed fully human despite having a vampire dad.

“No, but it seems like he’s still giving orders through his lackeys. There was even a small scourge of his puppets tearing up a small town,” Irene recounted, “Remember to keep him sweet on you.”

“Did I not read to you this latest poem? The last stanza was talking about how he wants to fuck me and keep me with him forever.”

“Wow, that’s a little creepy… and maybe sweet?”

“His face was all red when I teased him about it.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t fucked him yet.”

“I have to kill him, Irene.”

“That has never stopped you before,” she noted. Irene was right of course. Vampires tended to be overly sexual creatures, so seducing them often led to placing them in more vulnerable positions that could allow you to take advantage of them. 

“Fair,” you muttered, glancing out the window to see the same person who walks their dog at this time every night passing the street across the motel. This town was sleepy and boring, but it was almost odd how scheduled everyone was. No car accidents ever, the same groupings of people throughout town all in the same places. Static.

After you hung up with Irene, you moved across the room to the stack of books you checked out from the library all those weeks ago. They were due soon, and you were planning to swing by the library to drop them off with Sungchan while also sweet talking him with stupid facts you had picked up.

You flitted through the last book you hadn’t opened yet and paused. Crammed in between a few pages was a tightly folded note. Curious, you unraveled it. In extremely messy handwriting and covering the entire sheet was one sentence.

Write forever until I die. Write forever until I die. Write forever until I die.

You squinted and scoffed. Likely it was a kid in detention that was assigned to write out whatever was on the board and instead did this as a weird joke. Without much thought you tossed it into the trash.

Still. You had a shiver run down your spine. Wrapping yourself up in a coat, and grabbing the ice bucket you stepped out of your room. Maybe a walk around the motel would make you feel better about having to kill the kid who didn’t ask to be born. 

The ice machine sat in the lobby and was usually only manned by the same two people who would hardly look up from their books. You filled it up and looked back over to see the young man again reading Slaughter-house five.

“Yknow, Vonnegut has written other books,” you joked. The young man flinched, his grip tightening on the book to a point that his knuckles were white. Yet, he didn’t speak or react in any other way. You frowned, and returned to your room.

“Do you like the stars?” Sungchan had asked the following night as you helped him close up at the library. 

“Hm, they are pretty, yes,” you hummed, sitting on the edge of the desk. Just like the other nights you had helped Sungchan, the same patrons who seemed to be there every night, left at the same time in the same fashion, all with the same smile and wave to the librarian as they exited.

“I… Do you wanna go into my truck and look at them?” he asked, and you noted he was avoiding your gaze as the red tint on his ears shone.

“I’m a lady, Sungchan,” you pouted, watching as he seemed to jump, “I hope you’re not… expecting anything.”

He was so easy to fluster. It wasn’t even just to keep him obsessed with you at this point- it was because you found it downright exciting. He was so cute as he jumped up from his seat.

“I would never expect anything from you that you don’t want.”

Sungchan was soft and sweet. Your job as a hunter didn’t allow for much dating outside of your profession, and most other hunters were too preoccupied to give romance much attention. Every minute you spent with Sungchan gave you the delusion that you could leave the life of being a hunter and runaway together. You could protect him, and be happy. But then, you were reminded of the oath you gave, your few friendships, and the fact that you have been lying to Sungchan, and you’re brought back down to earth.

You laid on the trunk bed with Sungchan. He drove out a few miles to empty farmland and covered the trunk bed in pillows and blankets. The stars shone bright in the sky, and you looked up to see Sungchan staring up with a smile on his face. He was beautiful with stars reflecting themselves in his eyes.

“My Mom used to take me out here all the time,” he started, his voice a whisper. “I would get bullied a lot in school, so on the weekends when all of the other kids would hang out, my mom would bring me out here and tell me stories.”

“I’m sorry kids were so cruel to you,” you were sincere, squeezing his arm as you laid on his chest, “do… you have any favorite stories? I’d love to hear them.”

“It’s okay- I got to be the bigger person in the end,” you swear you could hear a smirk, but you were too comfortable to check, “but stories… well. She would always tell me this one story whenever I was really down.”

He cleared his throat, kissed the top of your head, and started working from his memory, “there was once a sickly, meek child. He had a hard time gathering his breath, and struggled to keep up with other kids his age. Running was especially a challenge, and his legs would often give out as his peers would run off, laughing at him. He was clumsy, and his limbs were so stiff and wooden. He began to be known as the puppet because of this. Between the torture of the other children, and the torture of his own body, the boy fell deathly ill. The local doctor told the boy’s mother that her son only had a few hours left at best- but, if she gave her own life, her son could live forever.”

Sungchan paused, and you could hear him swallow thickly before continuing, “the mother begged for there to be another way. It was just her and her boy- while her son could live forever, how was he going to grow fully into a capable young man without a guiding hand? The doctor assured the mother though, that the son wouldn’t be alone. He will create a new family of his own one day.”

“And so, the boy was not only given the gift of eternal life, but also another, even more special gift,” he hummed a bit then, “can you take a guess?”

There was a chill that raced down your spine. You sat your chin on his chest, meeting his eyes. You absolutely could take a guess- a real guess, but you decided to continue playing dumb, “hmmm, flying? So he could fly far away from the bullies?”

Sungchan chuckled before he kissed the tip of your nose, “no, but that’s a great guess. The boy was able to control the minds of those bullies, so they could never be cruel to anyone ever again.”

“The puppet became the puppeteer,” you froze, unable to stop yourself. His mother presented this story, and Sungchan had it fully memorized without realizing that the puppeteer was his own father.

“Yeah,” Sungchan was quiet before he met your gaze. “I know you won’t be here forever, but I wish you could stay. I want to know everything about you. Did your parents tell you stories at night?”

“My parents died when I was very young,” you confessed, “they were killed in a home invasion.”

This was partially the truth. Your parents were killed in a home invasion of a pair of twin vampires who slaughtered them mercilessly. You were in the room next door when it happened, hiding under the bed until it was over. The hunters arrived hours later, and you were then adopted into their ranks.

“I’m… I’m so sorry. That’s not fair,” he squeezed you closely and you shrugged.

“Can’t change the past,” you shrugged, forcing a smile.

Despite your own hesitations, you gave in to Sungchan’s begging, and stayed the night at his place. You couldn’t sleep though, and after you were sure he was knocked out, you stepped outside to the back of the apartment complex to call your closest friend.

“Seulgi… he’s a human,” you whisper cried. The back of Sungchan’s apartment complex held a small forest, and seemed to absorb any bit of light the complex offered.

“And you’re sure he’s not manipulating you?”

“You know I can always spot that shit. Remember the orphanage?”

“Vampires turning young children into vampires so they could more easily kidnap humans… you spotted it faster than Irene did,” Seulgi conceited. There was a rustle in the trees and you froze. Your small wooden stake was always hidden somewhere on your person, this time in the lining of your jacket.

“It’s your job, though. Think of the lives you’ll save by bringing the puppeteer out of the shadows.”

“I’ve gotta go,” you hung up, shoving your phone back into your pocket and sliding out the stake. The forest was quiet, and for a moment you thought you imagined it.

Then, a hand holding a clean white napkin appeared before the rest of their body followed.

“I’m not here to attack, just have a chat,” Yuta had a mischievous grin as he skipped out from the forest and towards you. Yuta was a five hundred year old vampire who had climbed the Royal ranks due to his ability to game information. He was never a liar, but just someone who knew how to use knowledge to his advantage.

“You miss me?” You taunted, arms crossed.

“Of course,” he simpered, now fully in your view as the lighting coated him. He was inhumanely handsome, which was to be expected. “However, that’s not why I’m here.”

“And why are you here? Yknow, most people drive past this tiny little town and yet…” you let your voice trail off, an eyebrow raised as you studied his features. 

“I’m one of the few people that know about Sungchan, the puppeteer has kept his half-human son under wraps for a while. How did the hunters find him?” 

“Ah, so you want information from me?” You chuckled at his nerve.

“Hm, I think we can exchange actually,” he raised his eyebrow, and your eyes widened instinctually. Now this was very appealing. “You see, I pop in every few months to see how the young man is doing. Check him out from a far. Then, I write out a report, and give it to his dear old daddy.”

“Why would you tell me where he is?” 

“Hm, perhaps I have my own ulterior motives for leading a top hunter directly to him,” Yuta then took out an envelope from his shirt pocket. “Tell me our leak, and I’ll tell you what you want.”

“It wasn’t a leak,” you rolled your eyes, “Sungchan did one of those family ancestry online dna things. We utilized it see if there was any human-vampire matches… he just popped up one day.”

“God, is there no such thing as data privacy anymore?” Yuta sucked his fangs before extending the envelope towards you. “I hope you are prepared to face the true wrath of the puppeteer.”

You slid back upstairs after a short while, the envelope tucked into your jacket.

——-

Yuta was a fucking liar. The address made no sense- it was clearly just Sungchan’s apartment. You wanted to rip your hair out- how could you be so stupid?

While Sungchan was at work you looked through every crevice of his place, and the only off putting thing you could find was his high school yearbook. God, the kids were so cruel to him. Sungchan couldn’t hurt a damn fly now as a fully grown man, let alone defend himself against the relentless bullies he faced.

You were hitting a dead end. No other vampires had made their way to the town since Yuta a month ago, Sungchan had completely become infatuated with you, and you were becoming too close to the half-breed. 

One night, after he returned from work, you bought a bottle of wine. You had hoped potentially getting him a little drunk could coax any memory of his father out. He had spoken at length about how great his mother was, but shrugged off any prodding you made about his dad. It didn’t help that Irene was breathing down your neck, and Seulgi was struggling to keep her at bay.

“It’s not too strong, is it? I’m not good with alcohol,” He giggled as he helped you uncork the bottle.

“It’s not strong,” you lied as he took out two untouched wine glasses from the cabinet.

“Oh, can you grab me my phone? I left it in the bathroom,” he smiled. Without a second thought, you maneuvered to the bathroom to take it off the counter. While you still on occasion stayed at the motel, Sungchan was incredibly needy. And since your job was to keep him interested in you, you felt inclined to bend to his will, especially when he didn’t care about anything else you did. You still hadn’t even slept with him yet, much to Seulgi’s and your own surprise.

No messages on Sungchan’s phone, or calls, as per usual. You knew he didn’t have a ton of friends or anything, but it was still… weird. No one else in town spoke to you unless it was more than a word and you initiated it. Everything here had felt fake, but without any real reason to be suspicious, you couldn’t really share your concerns. A town full of people, and yet it still felt empty to you.

Seulgi was busy keeping Irene from slashing your throat, so your own phone has been dull as of late. Maybe Sungchan just sincerely didn’t use his phone, ever, unless it was to speak to you.

“Here, Sungie,” you placed it on the counter, and took the drink he handed off to you. You took a large sip and frowned slightly to yourself.

“Everything okay?” He tilted his head, his beautiful brown eyes filled with concern.

“No I guess I just left the wine under the sun for too long,” you reason, taking another sip. It was a little funky, as if the wine had soured.

“Ah, maybe. All wine tastes the same to me,” he took a sip of his own, and you noticed the small dimple that formed and disappeared.

“What are you ssssmiling about?” You asked. Your words came out more slurred than you’d like. You were a strong drinker, but you also haven’t been drinking as much lately. Maybe that’s why the wine was hitting you faster than usual?

Sungchan leaned a little closer, his hand holding your chin up, “how long were you planning to lie to me?”

Your eyelids were heavy, and you leaned your head fully on his hand as you slowly processed what he said, “I… haven’t -.”

“You thought that I wouldn’t notice a pair of hunters in my town following me around?” He squeezed your chin and you yelped in surprise. You were fighting your body now, trying to stay awake despite whatever he put in your drink. “I’ve been waiting for you… for so long. I’ve planned it all and yet… you still won’t be honest with me. That’s okay though. I’ll forgive you.”

————-

You don’t remember meeting Sungchan, but he remembered you.

Years ago, Sungchan had done a solo trip to the big city, and wanted to test his world. Everyone did what he said at all times- how far could he push this gift?

“That’ll be $4.26 for your coffee, sir.”

“This coffee is free for me,” Sungchan hummed. He didn’t ever have to do extra work to make this gift pop in- whatever his wish was, as long as it was physically possible, was his command. 

“Yes, your coffee is free,” the man nodded as Sungchan walked off. 

This is how Sungchan lived life. He had gotten the entire shit town he lived in to follow his every whim. The world was his giant dollhouse. 

Until you shattered it.

Sungchan was able to control the folks working the front desk at the nicest hotel he could find. He was set up in the best possible suite, and sat one night at their rooftop lounge that overlooked the concrete city.

“It’s a great view,” a voice above the chatter of other guests caught his attention. You wore a simple dark t shirt and dark pants, and spared him a smile as you leaned against the railing with him.

“Yeah,” was all Sungchan offered. It was difficult to force himself to engage in conversations anymore, but you were pretty enough that he didn’t feel like shooing you away.

“What brings you here?” You asked, your gaze still set on the city below.

“Hm, I’m on a journey of self-discovery. You?”

“I’m here for work,” you replied. Sungchan looked at you again. Your voice was nice, you were attractive, and he didn’t have other plans.

“Come to my room with me,” he spoke, moving off the railing. Instead of your eyes losing their sparkle and glazing over, though, you stayed just as you were.

Instead, you burst out laughing.

“You’re funny,” you chuckled, unmoving. He froze. Maybe he didn’t say it loud enough.

“Come-.”

“You wish. Maybe buy me a drink next time,” you gently shoved his arm, and then disappeared out of the lounge.

Sungchan was frozen, his eyes not moving from where you once stood next to him. After what felt like hours, he rushed downstairs to the concierge and got your information.

You were made for Sungchan, you had to be. Why else would the universe deliver him the exciting puzzle that was you? A vampire hunter since childhood was now the only being Sungchan, a half-vampire, couldn’t control. It was fate. To him, you were star crossed lovers, destined for one another despite the complications.

Sungchan had discovered his parentage early in life. He was able to easily get his mother to tell him the truth about his father since she, like everyone else, was susceptible to their gifts. 

So, his next steps to get you trapped, were set.

Sungchan had been using the town he lived in as a dollhouse for years beforehand. He loved testing the limits of his abilities, and had hoped that it would one day awaken his proper vampiric powers. In the meantime, though, he would use the citizens to cultivate a proper image for the hunters to happen upon.

Having every town member edit their social medias. Perfectly crafting and tailoring his existence to seem like a shy, bullied child. Make sure every person in town, if ever approached, all know exactly what to say. All that was left was to get a few vampires that knew their way around the hunters so Sungchan could fully execute his plan.

———-

You were awake, but kept your eyes shut.

It was a technique learned early in your hunter training, but one you didn’t ever use. You didn’t lose the upper hand often enough to be foolishly knocked out.

And, yet, you failed.

“Your breathing is uneven and your heart rate spiked,” his voice sent a chill down your spine.

You cracked open your eyes. You were laid on a plush mattress, and Sungchan sat at the corner of the bed, his eyes unmoving from you. 

You wanted to die. Sungchan’s big, beautiful brown eyes that you had become prey for, were gone and replaced with your worst fear. Ruby red eyes, and they were fixed on you.

“You awakened me,” he cooed, crawling towards where you laid. Your eyes searched the space frantically for anything to defend yourself with. Your wrists were bound by rope, and you had been stripped down and changed into a completely different outfit without any of your hidden weapons. The bed you sat on was on top of a metal bed frame, and the wooden nightstands didn’t offer a quick change into a stake. You sat there, like a piece of fresh meat as he now hovered over you. “I want to show you something.”

Sungchan tossed you over his shoulder like you were nothing, taunting you with his newly found vampiric strength. You were reeling.

“You were out cold for three days. I didn’t think what I added to the wine would do that much,” he chuckled as he carried you past beautiful marble flooring and down a few sets of staircases. You were trying to create a mental map, but he was going too fast for you to get much down. “I’m so happy you’re finally here so I can show you your gift.”

Like you were a child, Sungchan placed you on your feet and turned you around. You gagged, staring at the horrific site in front of you. It had to have been months judging by the level of decay, and this matched up with your previous information.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Sungchan snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you tightly to him, “the old, fake puppeteer is dead. Now, the hunters don’t need you to pull him out of the shadows.”

“Y-You’re the puppeteer now,” you choked out, squeezing your eyes shut. Yuta wasn’t being a dick- he was helping you.

“I had to throw the hunters off our scent-.”

“There is no- Sungchan what the fuck?” you broke from his grasp, terrified and searching the basement area for anything you could use to kill the monster in front of you. “You… you were a human-.”

“And bringing you to your new home awakened me fully!” he was so joyful as he said this, the dread consuming you.

“I was only with you so I could bring,” you glanced at the horrible sight of his slain father, “him down. I was going to kill you.”

“You don’t get it,” he whispered. He looked away, and for a moment you swore his dead eyes were going to shed tears before he met your gaze with a dead glare. “I have planned everything so I could have you. I stole my father’s empire, I had the head of the hunters controlled into giving you this fake assignment…”

As he paused, you decided to make a run towards the basement stairs. You were desperate, and that desperation had made you stupid. Sungchan caught you within an instant, one hand wrapped around your waist and the other squeezing your wrist with an iron grip.

“I didn’t want it to come down to this,” he pouted, “that friend of yours… I have it set that if you escape from me, she’ll burn down the hunters headquarters with herself inside.”

“Seulgi?” you whispered, eyes wide with terror.

“Don’t you get it, though? We are meant to be!” he was smiling as if he did not threaten your livelihood. “Ever since that day in the hotel when you told me no! You’re the only person in the world who did- and you’re a hunter! You are the Juliet to my Romeo!”

“They both die at the end you fucking idiot,” you replied through gritted teeth. 

He let go of your wrist, and instead gripped under your chin with his cold hand, “we’re going to have to work on how you speak to me my love.”

Then, you remembered him. The encounter was so brief and so small to you, and yet, it seemed to be absolutely defining for Sungchan to a point that you became his whole focus. Now, your knees trembled as your fate settled. 

You set your gaze down, submitting as he let go of your chin.

“See? This is good. I have your favorite foods, and everything you could ever need here,” he squeezed you to his chest, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to cry. “I know you hate cooking, so I have a team of chefs here just for you.”

“Not of their own will,” you bit, and you felt his grip on you tighten before he forced out a hearty laugh.

“These people are all dolls. Now that I’ve taken over my father’s empire…” his voice trailed off. “Nothing in this world matters except for us.”

_______

You snuck onto the rooftop one night. Sungchan had fallen asleep next to you, and you had managed to slip out. Despite the chill in the air, it was not nearly as cold as when you would be forced to be by his side. Before his vampiric powers awakened, he was still slightly colder, but now it was like being next to dry ice.

You needed to breathe.

You missed Seulgi. You hated seeing the glazed over eyes of the people Sungchan took from god knows where. You hated having to be around the monster of a man. 

You hated yourself, especially, for feeling so weak and succumbing to him.

You stared down at the plethora of bites lining your arms, and lifted a hand to touch the ones on your neck that were still fresh. You couldn’t even bring yourself to poke at the ones that lined your upper thighs. You choked back a sob, the wind of the night air rustling through your hair as you stared at the fresh blood Sungchan had managed to leave behind after feeding from you. 

You had let a monster inside of you, and the worst part was that you liked it. Sungchan was very clear about the fact that he had been studying you- everything about you. How you took your tea, how you liked to sleep curled up in a ball, and how to properly pleasure you. He had been studying you for years- knowing exactly how you seduced other vampires and how you would get yourself off. It was already an unfair advantage. This, coupled with the fact that being bitten by a vampire has the same effect on your brain as an orgasm, you were pretty much subdued physically as often as possible by him. And it felt fucking incredible- addictive, even. You hated yourself for being so weak. Weak to a point that you’d be begging for him to fuck you, just like he dreamed you would. Just like he hoped, you’d become his little doll. The shame was becoming unbearable.

You stared out at the surrounding area. In the darkness, all you could tell was that there was no city at all nearby, the light pollution nonexistent as you were able to see all the stars clearly. You were previously able to piece together that this residence used to be Sungchan’s father’s, but he had decided this was best for you. Maybe he was right, in a way. You felt like you were meant to die the night your parents did, so being here with Sungchan was a way to repair that broken strand of fate.

You heard footsteps and turned towards the door. It was one of the housekeepers Sungchan had around the property.

“Hello,” you stared blankly. This woman, like every other servant in the manor was instructed to not speak to you under any circumstances. She smiled awkwardly and within the blink of an eye, was in front of you. 

Instinctually, you went to the pocket of your jacket for your stake. Of course, though, there was nothing. You were unarmed, and physically at your weakest.

She knocked you down to your back, and began dragging you by your hair towards the edge of the roof. The height was only a few stories so it wouldn’t be enough to kill you, but certainly hurt you enough to make killing you quicker for her.

You were clawing at her hands, tears streaming down your cheeks as you fought for your life. You hadn’t made it this far with Sungchan only to be killed by someone else.

She shoved your head over the edge as a wicked grin formed on her face. You sent a swift kick to the back of her knees, causing her to let go of your hair. You stood up and ran towards the door only to then see Sungchan standing there, eyes bright red in anger. 

The woman let out a yelp of fear before you heard a sickening crunch. Sungchan had, without a drop of hesitation, lobbed the head off the vampire and was holding her by her scalp.

“I’ll have another servant pick this up.” he tossed her head off the side of the manor as if it was a crumpled piece of paper. He wrapped you in an embrace, the blood of the woman that landed on his chest now coating you.

“I don’t have anything to protect myself with,” you replied. You were desperate. Maybe, you thought, you could use his obsession with you to get him to give you a stake under the guise of self-preservation. Shit, even some vervain would be useful.

“You’re right…” he whispered, letting go of your embrace and holding you at an arm's length. He brushed the hair stuck to your face away, as you were still sniffling. His hand lowered to the bite marks on your throat. “I’ll make it so that you’re as strong as me.”

As strong as me.

“Sungchan no-!” you were struggling as Sungchan held you with one hand gripping the back of your neck. In the dim moonlight, you watched as his fangs pierced his wrist and exposed his blood.

“No, please!” You had hit a new low, begging for your life.

“I need you safe… and I need you by my side forever,” his voice was melodic as he shoved his wrist into your mouth. You were struggling as he jammed it in as deeply as possible, but you refused to swallow. In your struggle, you two had collapsed onto the ground. He had you fully pinned down, and seemed to relish the fear and disgust in your eyes as is his other hand moved to pinch your nose.

“You know you want to,” he purred, his lips now next to your ear. You were running out of air and the tears and snot were running down your face as you vigorously tried to shake your head no. “I know you love the power you feel when I bite you. When you get to boss the servants around. You’re mine. And now…”

You gulped, your eyes wide in horror as realization set in. His blood flowed down your throat, an ambrosial taste of iron now flooding your tongue and throat.

“Now… you’ll be your whole self with me. Forever.”

——————————————-

More riize? Click here.

Tag! @nini0620

[our-aroace-experience]

I'm aromatic and that's all I've ever told people I'm probably on the ace spectrum but I've never ever once TOLD a person I was ace. I've identified myself with aro and I'm comfortable in it and my identity but every and I mean EVERY person I've known and told about me being aro will tell others and when referencing me to myself says ace. I had a friend who had many labels and I thought they'd understand that I'm aro not ace cause they used they/them and neopronouns but EVERY AND I MEAN EVERY TIME XE INTRODUCED SOMEONE TO ME They'd say I'm ace.

"oh this is dense she's ace"

"I'm actually aromatic"

"same thing".

"I know your so done hearing me talk about dating people and having crush being ace and all"

"I'm aromatic not ace and it doesn't bug me"

"Okay~"

They said "okay" in a weird way and looking back I think they were trying to make me jealous that I can't love and then didn't believe me when I said I didn't care.

This next instance made me never talk about my identity around or with them ever again.

"happy birthday!!!!!"

"I'm finally legal let's GOOOO!"(I just turned AOC)

"don't make jokes about you having sex it make me uncomfortable cuz your ace"

"I'm not ace I'm aro and you know that and you make sex jokes at me all the time and make them with others I can make sex jokes if I want"

"well I don't like it and it's the same thing. you know your just a little baby in my mind which makes it weird hearing you say that and your my best friend so I don't want to think of you with others.

I ghost xem after but reading that almost make me puke. IM, ME AM NOT ALOUD TO MAKE SEX JOKES CUZ U SEE ME AS A BABY CUZ YOU THINK IM ACE AND SEX REPULSED, FUCK YOU.

Another thing is my family, we're a very open family having no problems with pronoun or name changes or being gay the only problem is my aunt married a conservative American

My younger cousin maybe 8 at that point made a gay dating joke after my aunt said something about boys maybe to impress me since I'm 8 years older then him and I told nah that's not me I'm aromatic which means I don't like boys or girls my aunt chimed in saying "we don't need to be talking about this with HIM, he doesn't need to now this "I told her "he is the one that brought it up so he obviously knows and just like how you talk about girls dating boys I could talk about me not dating anyone it makes no difference especially when he is making innuendos. Wait have you even had sex Ed?" "No" he replied, then my oh so fun chimed in saying "he's too young for sex ed it's good he hasn't had in it." "No I'm more surprised he hasn't had sex ed it's important he should have it." "No he's too young" "remember how I was sexually assaulted when I was six and I had no clue what happened to me until I had sex Ed and was told that it was bad and to tell my parent them told my mom and got help do you want him oblivious if it happened to him" "it's different." "How?" He stopped talking and went outside I asked my cousin is he wanted to play Minecraft he said yes so we did that but a few hours later to the bathroom my aunt grabbed me and asked if I was serious about was I said about boys and girls I told her "yes I'm aromatic and don't like boys or girls or anyone like the opposite of being bi." "Are you sure maybe you just haven't met the right person"(I was kinda floored by this she would've said that if I said I like girls) "yes I'm sure I'm seventeen and have never have a crush or ever wanted to be with someone" "but what if one day you fall in love" "and what if one day aliens take over the planet it's possible but I'm not going to bother myself thinking about it." "Well I just don't want you trapping yourself in this label stopping yourself from liking someone." "I never have and probably never will like someone but if magically one day I do I won't stop myself does that sound good to you?" "Yes".

I just love negotiating my identity to keep people happy I've had that exact talk maybe 11 times now and im so done with it, I'm known for my patience explaining sexuality stuff to my older family cause I know their just curious but please stop checking in to see if I've change my sexuality like a clown fish I'm so done.

This was mostly a long rant but I just wanted it out there and to leave it on a good note my mom loves me for who I am and makes fun of my family and people who just can't get it through their head that I'm not going to ever date someone I'm her star child with no drama ✨ which I always find funny.

Love to all that have a hard time with it I love you and your valuable and valid

i’m so sorry to hear about your friends and family, you mum sounds lovely!

[hughungrybear]

15 people, 15 questions

I got tagged by @telomeke (the link to their post is here). Thanks for the tag! 😊

1. Are you named after anyone?

I came from a predominantly Catholic country so it is common to name babies after saints. Ironically, despite my saintly name, I was a real Tasmanian devil to my parents, teachers, and peers 😅

2. When was the last time you cried?

The last time that I sincerely cried was when my Dad passed away. I was eleven. After that, every event that made me "cry" barely wet my eyes 😅

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I don't plan to have any. I like kids - especially when I can hand them back to their respective mothers 😅 I don't have anything against motherhood, but I can barely support myself. Under the circumstances, it is not wise to bring another life into this world that I cannot support.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oh boy. I used to do track and field, basketball, and soccer (football) when I was still in elementary (grade) school. However, my conservative home country deems these sports as too "manly" and therefore not appropriate for a growing 'lady'. So, they made me switch to cheer dance😤. Well, let's just say I have never danced again ever since lol.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Let's just say that sometimes, using sarcasm is the only way to retain my sanity 😅

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

The tone and shift of voice when they talk. Not entirely sure why though 😅😅😅

7. What’s your eye color?

Hazel brown with hints of darkest grey.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings. I will not subject myself to torture by watching horror films/series no matter how critically acclaimed it is. That's because I have a very vivid imagination and I really love a peaceful sleep 🥲

9. Any talents?

Does mixing chemicals and formulating new adhesive products count? 😅 I can play the keyboard, and write poems and short stories (although, it's been a long time since I wrote my last one). I also do embroidery during my spare time.

10. Where were you born?

Funny story. I was born on the eve of our town's patron saint's day. Before the feast day, the town's roads are closed in preparation for the upcoming festivities. Unfortunately, my mum's water broke during an intense cleaning session of our house on the eve of the feast. Since the roads were closed, my father and grandma (my mother's mum) were forced to call a midwife and perform a home birth. Curiously, I did not cry as my mum pushed my small baby form out of her womb. Fearing that I was a stillbirth, the midwife had put me near an electric stove to help warm me up. It was only then that poor baby me started to cry (to the relief of everyone around)😅

TLDR: I was born at home but only showed a definitive sign of life in our old family kitchen.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading books, scrolling through various socmed (Nowadays, though, it's mostly Tumblr and Reddit), and listening to some brand new music.

12. Do you have any pets?

When I was still living in my home country, I used to have dogs. However, moving to Australia, I was forced to leave them behind with our trusted relatives. We still Facetime though, so there's that.

13. How tall are you?

Sadly, I'm five feet flat, I am still hoping for some (miracle) growth spurt even in my thirties lol

14. Favorite subject in school?

I love history. I love reading about the beginning of things. I also had high grades in literature simply because I am an advanced reader (that is, I have already read the books on my teacher's list even before they have released them to the class).

15. Dream job

Somewhere where deadlines are a mere suggestion lol

Onward tagging (I know some of you have already done this, but give this poor hungry bear a break, I'm running out of people to tag: @lost-my-sanity1, @sparklyeyedhimbo, @imlivingformyselfdontmindme, @waitmyturtles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @plantsarepeopletoo, @actually-yikes, @dribs-and-drabbles, @ablazenqueen, @alan-apologist, @ellasaru12, @queersouthasian, @lamonnaie, @rei-the-head-shaker and anybody else who wants to play😊

[sevarix-blogs]

It says in your bio you’re trans? Is it ok if you share a little bit of your road to discovering who you are?

oh sure, i don't mind! this might be a little ramble-y but also keep in mind this is just my experience, every trans person has their own experience! some don't experience dysphoria, for example. i did, however, so warning there are discussions of dysphoria.

i didn't actually realize i was trans until i was like 29. i grew up in a conservative household without knowing anything about trans people or lgbtq+ in general. in fact i was kind of transphobic until i was in my mid 20s. (i am ashamed of this, but in my defense i was pretty damn ignorant). i'm also aroace and i didn't understand THAT until i was like 23 but that's a different topic entirely.

there were signs of gender dysphoria when i was younger, now that i think back on it. my mom forced me to try makeup when i was 16 and when i looked at myself in the mirror i had a panic attack and hated how i looked. i realize now this was gender dysphoria.

i also was always obsessed with male characters and wanted to be them. back in the day, i wanted to cosplay roy so bad. i wanted to BE roy fire emblem. (i have red hair too so it kind of fit). when my friends and i made ocs based on ourselves, i always made a male character.

but anyway, i just assumed i was a less conventional woman. i was a woman in STEM too, which made me feel Special and so i accepted that role of being a woman in my professional life.

but then the pandemic changed everything. for the first time, i could work from home. I found myself dressing more masculine without even thinking. I didn't have to show off to anyone in the office that I was a Woman In STEM so instead of feminine blouses i could wear tshirts. you couldn't tell the difference from a zoom call, so it didn't matter.

it was around this time that i started identifying as nonbinary. i scheduled top surgery soon after that.

the top surgery was a huge relief. at the time i wasn't sure if i wanted to go on T yet, but my surgeon didn't require HRT in order to do surgery so it worked out. I never liked having boobs. when i was 11 i had to start wearing a bra and i hated it. when i was a teen all my friends wanted to show their cleavage and i was like 'why the hell would you want to do that i hate having boobs'. i was a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding and i got the only dress style that didn't show cleavage and covered my chest completely. i hated everything about having boobs. mine were decently large too so it was annoying.

the top surgery went really well, and to this day i feel like it's one of the best thing's i've ever done for myself. i'd do it 5 times if that's what it required. i love my flat chest. i have absolutely no regrets. (tmi) i even opted to not have nipples and tbh it's great being nippleless lol

shortly after top surgery i started T. i was iffy about it at first, but i had PMDD so on top of my voice changing i wanted my periods to stop. i really wanted my voice to change most of all. i even recorded my voice monthly so i could hear the difference. it's incredible how much it changed, actually. it was gradual (i did have a voice crack stage but it wasn't too bad) but now it's where i've always wanted it at. i get called sir on the phone uwu

and i will say, HRT and top surgery are not for everyone! it was what worked for me, but some trans people opt out of them and that's super valid too. i had dysphoria around my voice and chest so it helped with that, but transmascs with higher pitched voices and boobs are also valid and i love them <3

now i'm working on a legal name change. at work people call me my preferred name (and it's even in my email address and everything) so that's good, but it would be nice having it on my ID and stuff too.

anyway, that's pretty much my gender journey as of now! hopefully my story helps you a little bit. if you learn anything from this, it should be it's never too late to realize you're trans!

[intosnarkness]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Stolen from my lovely @wheremermaidsdwell

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

102! I have a few left on ff.net that will never see light again and I lost a fair few to the crash of moonromance back in the old days. There are also assorted drabbles and random tidbits scattered across LJ and in my google docs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

542,933.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I am in the middle of a fic drought, not really in a fandom at the moment. But MCU is by far my most prolific.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Fixed Foot, Sam/Steve soulmarks

Care and Feeding of Your Janet, Good Place Janet user manual

The Law of Conservation of Pants, Clint/Darcy (what), in which Darcy teaches Steve about the 21st century.

As Little Fuss, Avengers team, Tony solves problems with money and his team helps him out in return.

Five things the Avengers taught Steve Rogers About the World, and One Thing He Taught Them.,Steve/Tony, another "Steve adjusts" story

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, but I'm terrible at it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably "A Long Day Without You", which is just cruel and I don't regret it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know, maybe "At Least I Spelled Your Name Right"?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, occasionally. I delete it and move on.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol yeah. Depends on the pair. I tend towards power plays, that's what I find the most interesting.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Very very rarely. I doubt anyone has forgotten the halcyon days of 2019 when I wrote "The Pedagogical Implications of Thanos’s Snap on the Sesame Street Curriculum" and unleashed it on society.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, by an RP blog.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, and it is a thrill. A couple of my short fics have been translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup, me and @enigma731 wrote some Clintasha together, "With an Ocean in the Way" and "Let the Morning Come". Also some with a few RP buds back in the Star Trek days.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

All time? Chekov/Sulu is and always will be evergreen.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Jamie/Roy fic got to 4400 words before I ran out of fuel.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, matching the source in tone and voice.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Setting the scene. I'd be happy to write scripts without having to explain places.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it before when it mattered for the character. Natasha and Chekov were both native Russian speakers, so it made sense for them sometimes. It really depends on the character and the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek, I think. I used to write Lower Decks fic in my journals when I was a kid, trying to synthesize that and the Analog magazines my dad would give me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

IDK, let's go with the duology of "Don't Fade On Me" and "Fragments" today.

[lepoppeta]

I got another one for you!! Rank the main villains/misguided antagonists of Pokémon, worst to best!

Oh gosh, this one's going to be a bit tricky.

1 - CYRUS. Team Galactic is such a fucking slog; they aren't even mildly amusing in the same way Team Rocket are, they just get in the way. At the head of this bizarrely hedonistic operation is Cyrus, a lunatic with his head so far up his own ass that he can't hear how fucking boring and self-centered he sounds.

2 - GHETSIS. He's creepy and deranged, certainly, but he's also kind of boring. In my opinion he also got a downgrade in B2W2 when he stopped being this "man behind the throne" kind of character and just became an evil dictator. N's presence is integral to his effectiveness, and once they split up he's not nearly as interesting.

3 - GIOVANNI. Credit where credit is due - Giovanni is the OG Pokemon villain, and he's not half bad either. He's also the only explicit villain that is on a League - Malva might count but I don't know if it was ever confirmed if she had anything to do with Team Flare or if she was just kind of there. Giovanni's also great because, as far as I'm aware, his ultimate goal is largely financial power, which is easier to understand than some other Pokemon villains.

4 - VOLO. Volo is where things start to get interesting in this list. He's a play on a zealous acolyte; he craves Arceus' blessing and he ends up enlisting Giratina's help to tear open a hole in the universe in order for them to meet, but he ultimately fails when you defeat him and Giratina flees. I liked his vaguely unsettling aura and the fact that he was always there when you least expected him to be, and I kind of get his motive to where he wants a reason for any suffering he faced, but ultimately the rest of his character kind of falls flat.

5 - LUSAMINE. I really liked Lusamine when I first fought her - how batshit crazy and obsessed she was; how she was willing to basically disown her own children in order to get what she wanted. In immediate hindsight her whole shpeal kind of petered out for me because I didn't know who Mohn (her long-lost husband) was and thus I had no idea what her motive was. USUM definitely did her a disservice by kinda-sorta redeeming her on-screen instead of leaving her fate up in the air like the original games did.

(The rest of these are all pretty close together in terms of how much I like them, so ranking is a little more approximate from here on out.)

6 - ROSE. SWSH unfortunately suffers from a poor plot anyway, which really doesn't do Rose any favors, but I really enjoy his calm, bussinesslike approach to everything, and how he's genuinely done good things for his community while also doing some questionable ones. I like how it's hinted that both Magnolia and Sonia regard him with hesitancy but no-one really elaborates as to why. I like how when you defeat Eternatus he just kind of... disappears, and his name is scrubbed from the League. I don't think anyone talks about him after that. That may be a plothole and not a deliberate choice, but it makes me want to study him acutely under a microscope.

7 - ARCHIE / MAXIE. (I'm counting these two as a pair because they serve the same purpose within their respective games.) My first villains! This is where my "well-intentioned but dumb" appreciation stems from; these two wanted to aid in the progress of humanity and also the conservation of certain Pokemon, but obviously didn't have any braincells dedicated to the consequences of their actions. It's actually really interesting to see them wholeheartedly regret their actions and realise their colossal mistakes in the moment.

8 - SADA / TURO AI. This villain and overall culmination of the SV story is so fucking terrifying and intimidating that I can't not love it. The plot twist that the Professor had been dead for years before your introduction to them was applause-worthy; the reveal that the AI had more affection, or at least respect, for the current world and the Professor's neglected son was heartbreaking. That was the moment that really shattered the illusion - that maybe, just maybe, Sada/Turo was a good person after all, but nope! They were just a deadbeat, obsessed parent all along.

9 - LYSANDRE. There's something about Lysandre that I find very, very appealing. He and Rose are very similar, and he also shares certain traits and motives with Cyrus of all people, but Lysandre succeeds more due to seemingly being more likable and having more genuine relationships - he at least has a friendship with Sycamore (or so the Professor claims). It's evident that no-one thought the worst of him and just considered him to be passionate about his desire to make the world more "beautiful". He sacrifices himself because he can't bear to live with his mistakes or his inability to accept the world as it is. He cries on-screen. He's a very poetic antagonist and I enjoy him immensely. Also his design is A+ and I love the way he carries himself.

[dominateeye]

I'm tired so apologies if this isn't as good as it should be, but to the people responding to this with some variation of "but we still have to vote Democrat because the only way to change things is through gradual reform and damage control!": What in God's name do you think we have been doing for the last fifty, seventy-five years?

The dominant voting strategy among anyone who considers themselves even slightly left-wing in the US has been to vote for the lesser evil in order to try and make small wins that will build up over time. And where has that strategy gotten us? With a government that is still just as willing to fund genocide if it means US influence and corporate profits can expand throughout the world. If your strategy of lesser-evilism worked, it would have done so by now. Stop clinging to a failed strategy and accept that there isn't any easy way to make the world better.

Voting isn't going to save us, because many of the fundamental problems with the world are allowing power to fall into the hands of a few people instead of being shared by the majority of people affected by it. To change a government, you have to organize in ways that that government can't simply account for and control.

But if you still want to vote, at the very least, vote for candidates and parties based on what they want to do, not what their opponents are threatening to do. As just one example, the Green Party of the United States would stop funding Israel's genocide. The Democratic and Republican parties have made it abundantly clear that they never will.

You think a third party can't ever win, and if one tries it will just mean conservatives win anyway? Maybe. Let me ask you this: what would the difference be? Both liberals and conservatives would continue to fund genocide. Both liberals and conservatives would continue to expand the power and resources of the US military. Both liberals and conservatives would continue to leverage the US' dominance of geopolitics to enable the continued exploitation of the Global South and dehumanize the people that are harmed when they ask for help. Would liberals be nicer about it? Maybe. Would liberals pass legislation to protect the rights of marginalized groups in the US? Possibly, but as centrist Democrats have shown time and again, there is absolutely no guarantee. Would liberals pass socialized healthcare? Unlikely, and if they did it would be watered down as much as possible in a vain attempt to keep insurance industry lobbyists on side.

You may think voting for actual socialists who will do (some) actual good is risky. If there were anything to risk, you'd be right. But a Democrat in office is just a Republican who wants to look nice. There is no meaningful difference. So vote for a third party. Your vote might actually mean something.

this is literally the entire sum of democrat theory and praxis its literally mind numbing like i feel like lead poisoning has to be a part of this

[lindasipsandspills]

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

by Baek Se-Hee

General information

Edition:

Translated by Anton Hur in 2022 under Bloomsbury Publishing.

Author:

Born in 1990, Baek Se-hee studied creative writing in university before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, books one and two. Her favorite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog Jaram. (excerpt from bloomsbury.com)

Synopsis (via goodreads):

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don’t know, I’m—what’s the word—depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her—what to call it?—depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.

Page Count:

192 pages (eBook-version).

Trigger warnings:

Depression, co-dependency, alcoholism, obesity (?), South-Korean conservative thinking.

Initial thoughts post-read (spoilers ahead):

First off, I need to preface some points:

I did not choose this book based on any recommendations from websites, bookshops, or fellow readers.

I did not check any reviews while reading and only after I was done, did I open them on this particular book (and was surprised at the negative reviews).

The book did not give me a new outlook on life; it just recounted the things I have been working on or seeing other people struggle with.

Okay, now to the actual review:

What a refreshing way of discussing therapy as a concept and how it feels to be inside an office, talking about whatever is troubling you. Being a patient myself, I had to smile sometimes, seeing as I related to some passages and was reminded of what my therapist had advised me on.

That being said, I couldn't relate much to our narrator. Her problems and what she was working through differ strongly from what my woes are, but I did catch myself sometimes being surprised at how accurate to mine they were: love being conditional, the difference between financial and mental independence, the need to "become a robot," an idealized version of oneself that seems unattainable, to name a few. It's definitely not in the same way, but it was similar enough that I kept thinking, "So I am not alone in this, huh?" It was comforting.

So then why do people see this book so critically? My guess is that people expected the créme de la créme - a proper self-help book, a book to end depression, a book to help someone get out of it and not needing to go to therapy, perhaps. But let me tell you one thing: it is never that easy. You'd have to be naive to think this would in any way substitute going to therapy, let alone help you "get rid of mental illness." How people were unproductively comparing themselves with the narrator's problems, because they themselves are going through mental struggles as well, was honestly just laughable. Just as every flower head is different, every brain is different. You can't just make one assumption and expect everyone to feel the same way about it. The author never signaled that her problems were comparable with someone who is going through forceful suicidal thoughts. But her self-hatred and self-deprecation were serious, and in my opinion warranted the medication. Just because she made the steps other people are afraid to take, doesn't mean you get to belittle other people's mental illness and compare it to your own in such a toxic manner. Just my two cents.

All in all, I did think about some people I would recommend this to. But since I am not close enough to warrant it as a recommendation to these people, I'll just leave this review here for others to see and become interested on their own.

Quotes:

I think you tend to focus too much on your ideals and pressure yourself by thinking 'I have to be this kind of person!' Even when those ideals are, in fact, taken from someone else and not from your own thoughts and experiences.

I'd like you not to give too much credit to what people say about you. The moment you set out to be more empathic is the moment it becomes a chore. That would result in your empathy decreasing, if anything.

But the idea that I'm actually normal is somehow even more weird to me. It makes me think I'm just being full of myself.

If you have unrealistically high standards, you will forever be creating reasons to see yourself as inadequat, as someone who needs endless improvement.

I'm usually so tense during interactions that I have trouble remembering what was said.

You've backed yourself into a corner and made yourself choose between black or white. Whether to see a person or not, whether to be best friends with them or never speak to them again. You either lash out or endure. The only choices you have are yes and no, and there is no middle ground.

[roeza]

A.T.2 0.0

yes, take two lets go.

okay I put in a few rules this time around kinda

the mechanics are loose rules l follow at my whims.

okay here's our updated cast. oWo

Xhaiden Genisis

he's the leader of the bunch. he decided to do this after his father told him he'd never amount to anything and his mother agreed so daddy and mommy issues.

note: his parents are right he can't do shit he's a stuck up entitled asshole who's lived off of mommy and daddy's money his whole life.

Traits: Self-Absorbed, Self-Assured, Hot-Headed

Aspiration: Leader Of The Pack

Mecannic: he doesn't do shit to make money. he there to be pretty and that's about it, but if he does do something to make money on his own and likes said this we can work him to the bone in that.

Ariel Obadia

Xhaiden's Best Friend sense Thay where kids . he also grew up very rich and spoiled but he understands the world doesn't revolve around him and unlike Xhaiden has IQ above two, he was originally going to get a job in politics with his family's good name but then he heard about Xhaiden's wonderful idea and recognizing that it was infact not a wonderful idea he joined his best friend on his adventure not wanting him to get killed.

note: him and Uriela use to be lovers but then Uriela's Parents married her off to Xhaiden and not wanting to screw up his best friends marriage or Uriela's life. him and Uriela come to the aggreged to brake up.

Traits: Ambitious, Self-assured, Perfectionist

Aspiration: Successful lineage

Mecannic: can do anything.

Uriela Genisis

Xhaiden's wife it was arranged marriage set up by their parents. Uriela's parents wanted her to get married to Xhaiden cause his parents are rich and they wanted in on that green , Xhaiden's parents wanted him to Marrie Uriela because they thought having a wife might make him a less horrible person. it did not because not to long after Thay got married Xhaiden decided go Christopher Columbus on everyone and search for new land or what ever he did . Uriela's parents made her go with him (cause they want that green) much to her and her little brother's dismay.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Proper, Good

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Mecannic: she can paint. and if she wants to do anything else she can.

Neirin Day

Uriela's Littel Brother. sense he was a little boy he's always been protecting his sister. which is why he was not happy when their parents put Uriela in arranged marriage. and was even less happy when her parents made her go on Xhaiden's fools earned or Thady disown her. not wanting to leave his sister alone with Xhaiden in the Middel of nowhere he goes with them to their unknown destination.

note: he hates Xhaiden.

note 2: Xhaiden does not realize Neirin hates him and in fact he thinks Nerin likes him not because Neirin has done anything to make Xhaiden think he likes him but because Xhaiden can't fathom the fact that anyone could not love him . Xhaiden is vary full of himself.

Traits: Squamish, Romantic, Good

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Mecannic, anything he's a helper

Roxana Snowdawn

The Town Loner the only thing she's known for living out in the forest and hating people not much else is known about her but the towns people suspect her of being violent and practicing black magic. one day Xhaiden walks up to her (much to the shock of the town ), and asks her to go on his fools earn which totally is not a bad idea and not going to blow up in his face , for some reason she agrees.

Traits: Gloomy, Loner, Good

Aspiration: Soulmate

Mecannic: she can do anything as long no one else is doing the same thing.

she can do the same thing as someone else as long as she does it on her own.

Orli White

everyone thinks she's a little weird but overall nice and help full and kind- she has a monster boyfriend a monster boyfriend who is going to kill everyone if someone hurts her.

note: she left with Xhaiden because she wanted to be with said monster boyfriend and the Middel of nowhere is a place where conservative villagers don't live.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Romantic, Vegetarian

Aspiration: Soulmate

Mecannic: works in the garden and only the garden. if anyone dislikes her monster Boyfriend let loos on them and the rest of the Village ?

Leor Blanca

Xhaiden's bodyguard he was "forced" to come by Xhaiden's parents to come ( cause even if Thay think he'll never Amont to anything they still don't want to see him get himself killed in the wilderness ) he brought his little brother with him on Xhaiden's little trip.

note: he has a huge crush on Xhaiden he didn't need much convincing to come along on the trip

Traits: Self-assured, Genius, perfectionist

Aspiration: Bodybuilder

Mecannic: can do anything, but also is the only one who can do dangerous stuff like put out fires ect.

Lucian Blanca

the Littel Brother of Leor. he's never been held down a job once in his life.at first he'd get jobs but get fired the same day for being Strang, erratic and speaking in riddles after a while jobs wouldn't even give him a chance cause of this Leor takes care of him. knowing he can't take care of himself Leor takes Lucian with him the journey.

Note: he even speaks to Leor in riddles

Traits: Erratic, Loner, Kleptomaniac

Aspiration: Inner peace

Mecannic: he just does his own thing sometimes he helps, or he won't.

Leilani Akana

a young soon to be mother. when she got Pregnant the town shunned her for being unmarried and not knowing who the father was . she was struggling and homeless so when Xhaiden came to her with the his idea of going Cristopher colobuses she joined him knowing it may be the only chance for her and her baby.

Traits: Jealous, Childish, Bookworm

Aspiration: Bestselling Author

Mecannic: keep her kid alive. and help where she can

Faven Winter

a young Baroness who inherited her parents fortune . After hearing about Xhaiden's plans, she stepped out onto her balcony and threw all and I mean all her money to the towns people then she joind Xhaiden's party

note: she gave her estate to a young, widowed mother and her four children

note 2: Leilani wish that was her who got the estate but she was already on the Xhaiden train at that point sooooooooooooooooo sucks to be her I guess!

Traits: snob, creative, self-absorbed

Aspiration: World famous celebrity

Mecannic: can do anything.

Gracelyn Silva

showed up the day they were leaving and said she wanted to join them. they are all entranced by her blue eyes saying they have nver seen eyes that color

Traits: good, music lover, neat

Aspiration: musical genius

Mecannic: she can do anything

Talia Callaway

Ran up to the group in a panic a week into their trip. at first seemed confused and disoriented but then Roxanna to her she liked her dress she told Roxanna it was one of her favorites and Thay quickly hit it off. later that night the told her Xhaiden's ... plan and she join them saying she has nowhere else to go.

everyone likes her and thinks nice for the most part but Thay find it weird that she never tacks off her gloves.

Traits: Paranoid, clumsy, loner

Aspiration: Friend of the world

Mecannic: she can't do anything where she might take off her gloves.

Engel Haven

one day everyone noticed there was a 10th person in the group, and it was Engel no one knows when it happened or where it happened, he just showed up.

Traits: Outgoing, Self-Assured, Cheerful

Aspiration: Friend to the world

Mecannic: ???

okay and that's everyone

let the show? begin ... Again!

[ddonovanrp]

Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep. 'Ugh' I knew that awful sound anywhere. The bedside alarm to ruin my sleep. My whole 3 hours I'd gotten. Turning over I smacked the metal square until it finally quit. Sighing with relief I turned back over and smiled to myself. The guys would let me sleep a little longer, right?

Knock knock knock. Wrong. "Donovan! Come on, you up yet?" A voice from the other side yelled. "Noo." I groaned the reply and covered my head with the thick black comforter.

The door flew open and footsteps approached until they stopped by my bed. "Wake up sleeping beauty" the blankets were pulled from my head and I glared into the dark. "I WILL kill you, you know?" I threatened before sitting up. I'd slept in boxers like always. Living in a compound, you'd think everyone would be more conservative. Nope. "Rhys.." I started before he cut me off. "Nope. Prez. won't hear it. Coffee in the kitchen." My best friend said before flipping the light on and throwing the first white shirt he seen my way. "Church in 10" he said and walked out leaving me to get myself together before meeting with the guys to plan the week. It was times like this I hated the fact that I'd stepped down from my office, former VP of the Iron Angels Mother Chapter, to become a regular Joe in another town's Chapter.

8 and a half minutes and the quickest cold shower ever later I was done, dressed and sipping on my first cup of coffee of the morning. "Fuck off Cowboy" I sneered as I passed by him and his buddy Hush. The guy was the jokester of the group. And frankly, I knew I was rough looking. I'd had a rough night for christ's sake. I didn't need anyone poking fun this early. I slouched down in my chair at the table next to Rhys and Viking. Viking, just as his name suggested was a big ginger who lived by a code. Live the life you love. And he loved the ladies. But when things got real, he was one I wanted in my corner. Him and AK. AK was an ex-marine sniper. And he retired not because lack of skill. The gavel banged, the start of the meeting.

Once the meeting was over, I stepped out of the office room and headed to the kitchen. Coffee was gone and it was time to eat! "Donovan, what's your plan for later?" One of the guys from a visiting chapter asked as they sat at the kitchen island. "Eh. I guess I'll go down to the shop. Check it all out, see how business is." I replied as I finished my sandwich. "Aw, all work and no play." The boyish looking Kidd said. "I don't know man. Nothing important happening for the next day or so, so I'll either be at the shop helping the guys down there or I'll check out the bar in town. Have a drink or two." "Now that's a good plan!" The two said in unison and headed out the door just as Rhys passed them heading in himself. "Heading down to the shop. Bull called and he's got a couple bikes in back that need checked out and someone just brought in a car for service. You coming with?" Already knowing the answer he turned to head out as I shoved the last bite of sandwich into my mouth and followed. The shop, then drinks. Two of favorite places be to.

Sitting on a stool, I twisted on the last lug nut with my fingers before reaching between my feet for the torque wrench to finish off the job. "Are you done over there D?" Bull, one of the oldest members of the club called from the other side. "Just about." I answered before wiping the grease off the rim and standing. "Done." I replied and playfully slapped the top of the car. "Now i'm definitely ready for a drink." I said as I washed the majority of the grease off of my hands and arms in the back of the shop. "Ditto. I'll buy the first round. You know I appreciate your help." Drying my hands off I chuckled and followed Bull and Ash out of the shop, flipping the light off before pulling the door shut.

Backing our bikes slowly against the curb until the back tire hit, I flipped the key off and looked over, watching the other 3 guys do the same. Night riding. My favorite time of day to ride. The air was cool, traffic was minimal and you could really get lost in the ride. Pushing the back door open you usually had to be careful not to snack someone. And just like usual, the bar was packed. My cousin Camille ran the bar for one of the clubs partners. She was rough around the edges but overall a sweetheart. She met my gaze over the heads of the other patrons and pointed to the back corner. Nodding I followed her direction. The Prez was there with his wife and a few others. "Hey guys." I said before bending down and kissing the cheek of the President's wife; Mae. That woman had really brought the whole club together as a whole. Buffed out our rough edges all with the class of a royal. "I believe the first round was on Bull." I said grinning as I turned to him and motioned to the bar. You could definitely tell the crowd that were regulars versus the local college kids and the people who dont come here much. Those people were more dressed up whereas people like me weren't here to impress, just drink. Dirty Jeans, a black t shirt I'd stuffed in my saddle bags, wind wipped hair down to my scuffed up boots I radiated dirty biker. And that was acceptable here.

I leaned over onto the bar and chatted with a few random people as I waited for Cami to slide me a beer. I didn't even have to order, another perk of being regular. She leaned against the other side of the bar and shook her head at me. "You know...i get tired of watching you leave with woman after woman Damian. One day you're going to have to pick one." "Not as long as I have you to run interference." I winked and chuckled as she rolled her eyes at me. I have to admit, she'd been in more than one cat fight over me. Not that I'd do that to her on purpose.

As If being overheard, a tall blonde walked over to me and Bull and did her best sexy look in my direction. I lifted my beer to Cami, chuckling as I pushed from the bar and let the blonde lead me onto the dance floor. I wasn't much of a dancer but nothing a few beers wouldn't take care of. ______________________________________________ ->4.7.2020 -> #IronAngelsMC-RP #Clubhouse #Damian #TristanRhys

[starry-blue-echoes]

Oooooooooo that's a REALLY fun idea

I'm in love with the idea of using Consequences/Cause And Effect as a big central idea for this AU, and it works perfectly with my vision of what I want this to be. There's the fun duality of both Yukako and the Class President not realizing there were consequences, but when faced with them Yukako decided to learn from her mistakes while CP just tried to take it even further

it would also be really fun to play with just how much of her being an antagonist is her fault. Of Yukako acknowledging her mistakes and maybe even apologizing for what she'd done and started, but also there being an understanding that while Yukako might have started it, ever single decision up to this point had been the CP's own. She chose to escalate things to this point, chose to hurt Koichi out of revenge, to ally herself with powerful enemies just to hurt them

she isn't evil person, but she's definitely not a good one either

and intangibility could be V E R Y fun to play with, especially with the possibly backlash A La Jojo Stand Rules™

what if, to keep going with the Cause/Affect stuff, she can control how things affect each other but misinterprets what it actually is? She interprets it as intangibility, but what's actually happening is an ability similar to Kraft Work. Whatever's happening to the object is being stored and saved up to be activated later, and can be layered. The stored effects can be activated all at once or slowly over time, depending on what the User decides

this can also be a fun parallel to her situation. If the CP had been aware of her powers, she would've had a much easier time fighting. She could've absorbed the injuries she sustained and slowly over the course of the fight let them appear and thus conserve her energy while also keeping herself in good shape. But instead what happens is her running out of stamina or just reaching her limit of how much it could take, and suddenly it exploded outward

if it's the second one, it could also add an interesting aspect to the fight of how even though Yukako was angry........ she wasn't actually trying to hurt the CP too badly. It was mostly a lot of chasing and corner her, at worst disable her so she'd be stuck

but then of course Koichi is freed, and he's confused and more than a little terrified. And the first thing he sees upon being let out is Yukako slightly injured and out of breath, Tonio and Joseph trying to help, and the same girl who used a Stand to manipulate him without him knowing

it's only natural he lashes out

(also, separate from all this I've been trying to come up possible ideas for names since she........ REALLY needs one at this point, but I've got nothing ;-; so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to share-)

Oh I had. A thought for the Cinderella Rewrite AU. Because now there's a girl out there who is extraordinarily pissed at Yukako, right?

Well that's great for Yoshihiro Kira who is trying to find people willing to distract the Morioh Gang from hunting down and finding his son. And this girl already has a grudge against one of them? Perfect Enemy Stand potential!

There are so many ways this plotline could go which is amazing. Does the girl learn the error of her ways or remain stubborn, becoming a shadow archetype to Yukako, someone unwilling to settle her feelings in a healthy way? Does Koichi beat her or does Yukako? Does this happen on The Thursday? If so, does Yukako reluctantly drag in someone like Hazamada to help or does she try to go it alone only to fail and need the help of, say, Joseph or Tonio?

Speaking of which, if it isn't on The Thursday, where is Yukako during All Of That?

OOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S A FUN IDEA TO GO WITH AND A GREAT WAY TO TURN THIS INTO A THREE SECTION ARC 👀👀👀

While I have no idea what her Stand could be, I LOVE the idea of her being turned into a Stand User and getting involved in The Thursday. Maybe she ends up teaming up with Terunosuke in the kidnapping of Koichi and it sorta skews how everything goes. What her Stand is will definitely impact how things are going, but with how we've created her there are. So many possibilities and I'm not sure which would be best. I do think it should be more inclined to trickery than straight up power but other than that I've got nothing

ANYWAYS tho, as for how this ties into things and redirects them: maybe the girl (also, we really need to give her a name don't we) was set up to work with Terunosuke, but under the condition that Koichi and Yukako were hers. Teru does his thing and kidnaps Koichi and Tomoko, but he ends up passing Paper Koichi off to the girl

Josuke, Okuyasu, Yukako and Yuya are all going to temporarily be together and chasing after Terunosuke, but maybe somewhere during the chase the girl ends up jumping them and goads Yukako into a fight. Yukako tells the others to go on ahead and keep chasing after Teru and that she'll catch up later. It only after they've left that Yukako learns Koichi is actually here. I'd imagine their fight is a lot of chasing and shouting, and personally I really like the possibility of Tonio and Joseph getting involved, though I'm not super sure how

Koichi definitely gets freed at some point, and when he joins the fight there's a noticeable difference in the tide. After all, out of the four of them Koichi has the 2nd most combat experience (plus, Joseph's gotten a bit nerfed because of his age) and isn't afraid to pull his punches if he genuinely believes he's in danger. He's had like. Three near death experiences at this point, two of which could be argued were just flat out death, plus who knows how many other fights where his friends were in danger. Koichi knows what's at risk here and he's not going to let anyone else get hurt if he can help it. (Now, he's not going for lethal shots, but he's definitly aiming to hurt)

and maybe that's how Tonio and Joseph get involved? For safety and potential back up, Koichi and Yukako ended up running to Tonio's since it was the closest place and Joseph just happened to be there (Shizuka is fine tho, she's Jotaro at the moment), and they end up getting wrapped into things

for the resolution of this, I'll admit I really want to play into the fact that this girl has no IDEA what's actually going on or how much is actually at stake here, and how her ignorance to it has consequences. She's far from blameless of course, she did do some really fucked up shit in the past and now, but she also had no idea she's gotten involved with serial killers who are looking to do far worse than high school bullying. She'd been so wrapped up in her own little world of getting revenge that she hadn't thought to think Hey Maybe The Weird Picture Man With The Arrow Doesn't Have My Best Interests At Heart

Now does this mean she gets off scott free? No, and to be honest given the amount of property damage and kidnapping and manipulation she's done she's definitely going to be on the Foundation's radar, double especially because she's a User who was again, working for a known serial killer (albeit unknowingly)

but finally, after weeks and weeks of all of this happening, she finally gets to see how there's more to this world that her immediate circle and there are going to be concesuqences for her actions

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Namor Imagine Series Part 4

Your first day in Talokan could've went better. Namor revealed that you would be staying in the underwater cave. Where he initially kept Shuri and Riri prisoner, but the cave had been changed around to make it more homey. He wanted to ease into this new lifestyle and knew asking you to be in the underwater city capital would be too much. So for now you would call the cave system home which wasn't too bad.

It was when he was giving you a tour of the cave system showing you. Where his main space was located things took a turn for the worst. One of the generals walked into the room with a spear in hand. It was the woman you recognized as Namora. She took one look at you and spoke in their mother tongue to Namor.

He gestured for you to wait by the wall with the painting of his history on it. While he went off to the side to talk to his general. Without access to your kimoyo beads or Groi. There was no way for you to understand what their were saying. But the tones of their voices gave the topic of the conservation away. Namora sounded frustrated and would shoot you a menacing look every now and then. Namor sounded like he was doing his best to keep his cool, but you could see the muscles in his back tensing up. He was starting to lose his patience with her. The intense discussion went on for about five minutes before Namor finally snapped.

"She is your queen now you will give her the same respect. You give me" he roared angrily.

You flinched at the not only the volume of his voice, but the emotional intensity of his words as well. The only time you ever heard him sound so angry was when he invaded Wakanda, and while Namora was able to keep a straight face. You could see the hurt in her eyes. She felt betrayed.

Her beloved king who she has served for God knows how long just brought an outsider into her home. A man she trusted with her life just choose you. A woman of another nation that was just their enemy a few days ago over her. You made your way over to them placing a hand on Namor's shoulder.

"Namor can we talk for a quick second?" You asked him.

Namor didn't even bother to acknowledge you his eyes boring into his general's. As he waited for her to look away and back down. You could see Namora know had balled her hands into fists, and was doing her best not to tremble. This wasn't going to end well.

So you tried another tactic hoping it would work. You moved your body between them, and took his face in your hands with a firm grip. "My love I need to speak to you alone." It wasn't a request this time. Maybe it was the fact you used the same name of endearment that he used for you, or maybe it was the sharpness of your voice. Either way this time you got his attention as his eyes glanced down to meet yours. "Send her away please."

Namor gave her a quick command without hesitation. Namora turned and stalked out of the cave. The second she was gone you pulled away from him. "What was that?"

"I will not allow her or anyone else to disrespect you" Namor said. In his eyes did nothing wrong, but in yours he had done everything wrong.

"Namor you might be able to prance around Talokan with me on your hip, and declare that I'm the queen of your people. Without the civilians or the children putting up a fight or questioning things. But your army is a whole other story. There very job is to cautious of outsiders like me especially considering. They helped you lead an attack on my people just a few days ago. It's going to take time for me to win them over." You explained to him.

Namor took in every single one of your words, and gave you a nod. "Then what shall I do?

"Just let it happen naturally like this marriage remember. How you said we can learn to love each other."

"Yes."

"Well Namora and the others will learn to trust me you just have to give it time. I want this to work Namor and be as real as possible."

"I want the same thing" He said.

"Good so you're okay with holding off on the actual marriage part for now?" You asked with a raised eyebrow.

Namor frowned as the gears in his head started turning. "Are you trying to back out?" His voice got dangerously low.

You held eye contact with him not missing a beat when you answered. "No I wouldn't be here if I was going to do that. I will stay here and get to know you, your people, your way of life, and one day I will love Talokan as much as I love Wakanda. One day I will be willing to lay down my life for this place, and that will be the day we marry. I know you just wanted an alliance between our two nations, but you said it could be more. I want that Namor don't you."

Namor regarded you for a few seconds not giving away anything, and honestly he had you worried for a second. That he was going to laugh in your face and set the date of marriage for tomorrow. But then he let out a soft sigh. "It might take power to earn a throne, but the trust of your people is required to rule a nation."

"Is that your way of saying yes" You replied.

"Yes my queen I will give this time" He confirmed.

"Good thing I'm going to need you to do something for me then. While I'm down here earning the trust and love of your people."

His eyebrows furrowed in question as to what else you could want, but nevertheless Namor gestured for you to continue.

You knew he wasn't going to like what you were about to say, but you had to try at least. Your peace of mind depended on it.

"I need you to make peace with my mother."

[brazenautomaton]

the more I think about this fucking “oopsie-whoopsie we made a fucky wucky, COVID was an aerosol this whole time and not droplets!” deal the angrier I get

this should be bigger news

this should be utterly catastrophic

you remember all those anti-lockdown protestors you sneered at and poured contempt on? the ones that I wasn’t sneering at but still thought were tragically misled?

they were fucking right

almost all of our draconian lockdown measures were meaningless and didn’t help. Six foot rule did nothing. Disinfecting surfaces did nothing. Masks did nothing because we were told to wear them in a way that didn’t work. 

The experts, marching in ideological lockstep, as proclaimed by the smuggest priesthood in history, fucked up catastrophically. You know what? If the experts are saying things that bluechecks feel good about? NEVER TRUST THEM EVER AGAIN. They fucked up almost as hard as it’s possible to fuck up and they did it because they weren’t checking if their model matched or was reflected by reality.

Do you people remember a year and change ago, when you were self-righteously angry about how people think that their selfish desire to go to the beach is going to kill people? Do you remember that? Do you remember how they were all supposedly “fascists”? Do you remember how any objection was shrieked down by people saying that this was to save lives and I can’t believe how heartless and sadistic you would be to want to let people DIE?

Do you remember how many times people talked about how masks don’t work and they were shrieked down as being insane fascist conspiracy theorists? When it turns out masks, as we were told to wear them, do not work?

Do you remember all the shaming and anger that went on when restaurants started to re-open their outdoor seating and that was going to kill people and it was proof of how evil capitalism was?

Do you remember this time last year, when anyone who wanted to spend the 4th of July with their family was a heartless murderous psychopath? When we could have said “Of course you can meet your friends and family, as long as you do it outside!”

Do you remember that up until the moment the George Floyd protests started, people who went outside for ANY REASON were heartless murderous psychopaths who should be shamed? Remember when they literally sent helicopters into the forest to track down and arrest people for hiking because it was breaking quarantine? Remember when they forbid churches from gathering religious services at all and you all fucking sneered at the stupid religious conservatives pretending they were persecuted? When oh no, turns out, we should have just said you have to hold church services outside, but oopsie-poopsie we chose the things that had us exerting power for the sake of exerting power and hurting people because they were too weak to make us stop!

And then the expert class proclaimed that protesting was okay, but only for BLM protests, and other protests would spread the virus? And they literally actually said that without exaggeration? And a whole fucking bunch of credentialed experts said that protesting was okay because racism is even worse than the virus and they literally actually said that without exaggeration? And then we were just supposed to forget it happened?

The saddest thing I ever heard in my life, I heard when I was in line to vote. It wasn’t political at all -- it was some old lady working at the polling station, happy to see another old lady. She said “Oh, I miss hugs, you know? I miss seeing people smile.” 

We have been under draconian lockdown rules that did not help and did not accomplish anything  People have killed themselves because of them. People were driven to so much despair and loneliness that they could no longer tolerate having to be alive. How many suicides is it worth, you motherfuckers? How mad were you over the prospect that not having draconian, depressing rules might kill someone, and how mad are you now that you know your shit made people kill themselves and all of it was for nothing?

The Anointed just sneered their way through everything and we all fell in line. Actual, literal tyranny happened in the name of the Greater Good, and it didn’t accomplish anything, and nobody is sorry, nobody is going to change, nobody is going to even acknowledge that it happened. They will sneer just as smugly now that all of their beliefs have changed AGAIN. 

I’m done. I’m fucking done. Experts can suck my balls, I don’t trust "expert consensus” any more. The final bridge is burned. The expert class cannot be trusted, and never ever ever ever ever should be again. Expertise has been officially devoured, and it will never come back, and the heat death of human civilization is even closer.

All is lost. See this? See the concept of dispassionate experts who can be trusted to convey matters of fact? It’s not imperiled, it is dead. You watched it be swallowed by shadow, hollowed out, filled with the writhing black mass of Popularity. You saw the concept of a common factual basis for beliefs die, right in front of your eyes, and you probably didn’t notice or care.

All is lost and Death is our only escape. Expertise is gone, expertise is devoured by popularity, and it will never, ever, ever, ever, ever come back. Ever. NO matter how you wish or how you try you will never, ever, ever again live in a world where you can trust facts conveyed to you by a third party. Entropy is irreversible and all consuming and all is lost and the heat death of human civilization is coming SOON.

[glowingbadger]

A student! reader (over 18 obviously) who has an awkward crush on Seteth who may reciprocate? This ask is like on the verge of the DONT section in your rules so feel free to ignore if it is too uncomfy xD

I actually got a couple asks in the wake of that post I made about teasing Seteth in the Academy uniform, so I'm glad you guys are vibing with me on that lol~

That said, I will say that a literal teacher/student thing is ehhhhh for me, BUT I think I have a way to make this work for all of us :3

Jeez, the number of times I've written Seteth fucking someone on his desk-

CW: former student, degradation, spanking, me being a Seteth simp

Seteth (FE3H) x FEM Reader - Garreg Mach Uniform

NSFW 18+

Sometimes it seems that your austere lover is even more busy in the post-war scramble for stabilization than he had been during wartime. Seteth had already been known for an almost worryingly dedicated work-ethic when you'd met him during your time as a student at the Officers Academy. Now, many years and sociopolitical shifts and one nervous love-confession later, it only seemed that more rested on on his shoulders than ever. Perhaps that's why, when you discover your old uniform while cleaning up your quarters one day, an irresistible idea forms in your mind.

Seteth's eyes drift, then refocus. He blinks away the exhaustion threatening to break him from his duties, then sighs as he runs a hand through emerald hair. The Chapel bells had signified the end of administrative hours some time ago, but he can't allow himself to become lax. There's still much to be done. It's days like this that make him think with a wry smile that his brothers would scoff at the way he's chosen to live his life, having traded fangs for bureaucracy.

His office door is propped open as usual, but he hears a knock that shakes him from his thoughts.

"Come in-" he glances up at you, and his brows furrow deeply. You can't help a playful smile at the sight of Seteth's face already tinted pink. With as much innocence as you can affect, you step into his office to show off your attire. Your old uniform still fits- more or less -but you've made some careful adjustments. The jacket and white blouse underneath are only buttoned as high as would be strictly necessary to be seen in public, exposing a daring view of your chest. Thigh-high stockings hug your legs, then lead up to perhaps the most scandalous aspect of this ensemble. You've rolled up the hem of your skirt until it flutters about your hips so short that when you're not careful, a glimpse of your backside is clearly visible. This latter point, Seteth clearly notices as you twirl for him, saying,

"Look what I found, love," He's already on his feet approaching you, and you smile up at him as sweetly as you can, "sure brings back memories, doesn't it?"

Without a word, Seteth tugs you away from the office door and shuts it firmly behind you.

"Did you parade yourself all the way here from your quarters looking like this?!" he demands, and you hear the click of the door locking behind you.

"Well I don't see how else I could have gotten here, so..." you reply flippantly.

"Goddess above," he says with an exasperated sigh. His thumb and forefinger worry at the bridge of his nose as he turns back towards his desk, "To think that anyone could have seen you-!"

You roll your eyes with a grin and follow him. You take his hands in yours, drawing them away from him and opening up his closed posture.

"Come on, I just thought you might like it," you say as you draw closer to him. Seteth sighs again and looks you up and down.

"Whether or not I like it is immaterial, my love."

"But you do like it," you prod him further, your grin widening.

He opens his mouth, then closes it again. His lips tighten for a moment, then he manages to say,

"It is... flattering."

Releasing his hands, your own travel up the front of his torso, enjoying the dips and swells of his muscled body beneath those conservative robes. You feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, and you say,

"Have I ever told you that I had a hell of a crush on you even back in my student days?"

Seteth speaks your name with a hint of a warning his his voice. You press your body to his as your touch travels up the strong contour of his neck to tease along the line of his beard.

"It's true. I've always wanted you, Seteth," you go on, "Every single time you scolded or lectured me, part of me was... incredibly turned on. Sometimes, it was simply too much to bear," you curl a lock of his hair around your fingertips. You can see his ironclad will beginning to fracture. "Sometimes, I'd return to my room and pleasure myself, all while dreaming of you disciplining me."

Then, his lips are on yours, his kiss so hard and impassioned that for a moment, you're breathless. Your smug posturing falters immediately. He drags your bottom lip between his teeth as one hand wraps around you while the other grabs onto the plump swell of your ass beneath the flimsy coverage of your skirt. Seteth pulls you firmly against his strong body, and you can feel his cock throbbing against you. Then, as suddenly as he'd initiated it, he breaks your kiss- but before you can speak, his hand holds at your chin and forces you to meet his fierce gaze.

"So, you came here in this shameful attire with the express purpose of provoking me," his voice is a husky whisper, the mere sound of it nearly enough to make your knees buckle, "Very well then- you will have your scolding."

He manhandles you into position, rougher and more forceful with you than he's ever been. Before long, you're bent over his desk beneath him, and he stares down at you with a heat that paradoxically makes you shiver. Then, he raises a hand, and brings down his palm across your ass. You whimper and arch up from the hardwood, but he only says coldly,

"Straighten your legs."

You do your best to obey, holding your backside upright for him as though presenting him with your body. Despite your efforts, his hand descends once more, the wonderful sting of his strike warming your skin.

"Spread them wider." he commands, and once again you obey without question. You hear the familiar rustle of his belt and outer robes coming undone, and you glance back over your shoulder.

"Eyes forward, Miss Y/N." he says, his tone now balancing on a dangerous edge. You whine in protest, but follow his instructions and merely await your punishment. He gives a low hum and says, "I see you are capable of some measure of discipline, at least."

You feel the stiff head of his cock pushing between your folds, but before you can prepare yourself in the slightest, Seteth drives into your waiting cunt. Immediately, your eyes roll back and you gasp out his name. He holds you by your hips, pulling you back against him until your ass presses flush against his pelvis. He's nestled deep inside of you, his powerful manhood stretching you to your limit- and for the moment, he simply remains as such. The tip of his cock is nudging hard against your womb, sending blended pain and pleasure radiating through your nerves. It's all you can do to keep yourself positioned properly for him.

"To think that you would flaunt your body about the Monastery in such attire," Seteth snarls behind you, his cock throbbing against your inner walls, "You're every bit as hopeless as you were as a student." Once again, he spanks you, and you have to imagine by now that his abuse has begun to mark your tender skin.

You're already panting aloud for him when finally, his hips begin to move. His pace is immediately firm and punishing, his cock pistoning in and out of you, stimulating your every aching sweet spot and sending a painful jolt up your spine with each thrust. Your lips hang parted as you gasp for breath, your eyes dazed and unfocused in your bliss. A sudden rush seizes your body, and you feel your pussy clench around the massive intrusion of Seteth's cock.

"Cumming already?" he says with clear derision in his voice, though he never eases his pace as his bucks into you, "Perhaps you were even aroused by showing yourself in public in this shameful state."

"Nuh- no...!" you whimper softly, "It was... it's only for you-!"

Smack! His palm strikes your bouncing flesh once more. You're still riding the wave of your climax- or perhaps you're cumming a second time already. It's impossible to tell.

"Yet you were already soaked by the time I bent you over," Seteth goes on as he pounds into you, "One can't help but think that perhaps my troublesome student quite enjoys behaving like a wanton whore."

You can't manage to reply anymore. Your head is spinning and your body aches. Seteth's full length drives into you to its base again and again, and you can't even begin to say how many times you've cum before he begins to falter. His hips snap towards you haltingly, his body shudders, and his balls feel large and heavy as they slap against you with each thrust. It seems even his immense self-control can't stand up to this lewd punishment session for much longer. As your hands uselessly try to find purchase on the surface of his desk, Seteth leans over you, his hands now on your waist, pinning you down beneath him. His member throbs from base to tip, and with an animalistic groan, he says,

"I expect you... to take full responsibility-!"

With this, you feel the heat of his release pouring out at your core. His length twitches with every shot of cum that he spills into you, and his hands grip you so tight you can feel his nails digging along your skin. Seteth moans out your name, and you're distantly grateful that no one else stays in the offices as late as he does- you've both certainly made enough noise to have caused a scene by now.

At long, long last, his member pulses with the final throes of his orgasm. Seteth's grip on you loosens, and his office is quiet save for soft panting as you both struggle to collect yourselves. He pulls his length from you in one motion, and already, you can feel his thick seed dripping along your lower lips.

"You will head to my chambers," Seteth says, then clears his throat as he struggles to regain his usual composed dignity, "And if you don't want anyone to see this dripping out of you, you'll go quickly."

"Whose fault is that, I wonder," you manage to mumble, slowly pushing yourself up from the desk. Seteth actually laughs at this. Even now, his laugh is a rare treat that makes your heart skip like nothing else.

"I am tempted to say yours, given your intentional provocation," he says, bending over to place a soft kiss to your lips, "but I acknowledge that my own weakened restraint is partially to blame. To that end," he adds, his smile once more gentle and fond, "I am feeling rather rejuvenated. I'll be done with my work before long, and I do hope to see you in my quarters then."

[all-about-seggs]

A pact in blood-

Rating: 18+, Explicit

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Word count: ~3K

Warnings: Semi-incest (Satoru is your cousin/ distant relative), masturbation, Cunnilingus, fingering, hand job, the relationship is a bit messed up, yandereish undertones.

A/n: This takes place when he's still in the academy.* Image source*

“AA-ahhh! Please don’t- don’t stop…”,

Your broken pleas reverberated through the room as Satoru’s deft fingers worked their way in and out of your sopping wet hole. You gripped the sturdy jacket that covered his shoulders, folding the fabric between your fists was the only thing you could do to maintain the last shred of composure you had.

He was like a passing cloud who offered you momentary relief and was on his way as soon as your were done, the fragments of longings that remained on your body etched deeper after every night.

Position after position, he went from your pussy over his lips to eating you out ass up and face down, all for the pleasure you couldn’t seem to get by yourself. You were now splayed out on his lap, face buried in his neck and one arm draped over him for support. Waves of his sweet scent and the euphoria assaulting your senses at the same time, taking you closer and closer to the edge.

It’s been quite some time now but the memory of your first encounter with your unfairly gorgeous cousin Satoru has been etched into your mind as if it happened just yesterday.

You were in the manor of the esteemed Gojo clan for a family event and even though you didn’t shared the same surname you were related nonetheless and were hence invited. It was a four day and three night celebration where the entire place was abuzz with excitement.

It didn’t really mattered to you, being here with a go with a flow kind of attitude, you just minded your own business until spoken to and not mingling with the faceless crowd of people you didn’t even knew the names of.

Thankfully your room was in the separate building which was a little bit further from where all the riotous events centered around. After just half a day of being in the middle of the chaos you wanted to find a way to unwind and that’s when it happened.

Stark naked and two fingers up your little cunt, there was no explaining or bullshitting your way out of this situation when the heir of the household, Satoru Gojo himself walked in in you. Feeble attempts to cover yourself and half hearted stutterings died in your mouth as soon as the young man opened his.

“ Wrong”, the deadpan reply of his made your already shaken up state worsen. Panic flooding in your system begged you to make excuses or atleast request him to not speak of this to anyone, after all families of high status are nothing if not conservative and you didn’t wanted to cause anyone any trouble.

“ I meant, y/n chan, that you’re doing it wrong”, not paying any mind to your internal conflict he continued speaking form where he stood near the door, “ don’t you know how to masturbate? I thought you were in highschool?”

His genuinely perplexed tone made you reconsider your previous opinions about the heir to the clan. Satoru, a guy who walked in on a relative masturbating, was supposed to show courtesy and leave the second he entered but instead he was rating your technique, which in all honesty may have been lacking indeed but you were desperate to cum and he seemed to pick up on that.

“ Since you’re clearly having trouble getting off”, he loosened the obi of his particularly formal kimono and shifted his uncovered ocean blue eyes towards your form, “Want me to teach you?”, his question made you gulp, then gauge your eyeballs out in disbelief. Sure you weren’t closely related and have only spoken once or twice but you attended all the occasions and holiday celebrations at their place and knew that your relationship was only platonic. His offer to cross that line made you flinch back at first.

Heaving a sigh he closed the door and sat cross legged on the tatami mat next to your futon.

“ Relax, t’s not a big deal”, flashing a toothy grin he leaned forward until your noses touched.

“ Afterall, I AM your big brother”

“ wait- you’re also in highschool!”, You retorted, “ I bet you’re a virgin too. So what CAN you teach me anyway?”, overcoming the initial embarrassment, your mouth started moving in its own accord only getting encouraged by his laid back demeanor.

“ Pfttt- so you get defensive when cornered? How cute!”, he giggled, a smile teasing at his lips at your obvious attempt to hide the shame burning in your core.

“Don’t worry, I know my way around a pussy just fine”, light hearted words fell effortlessly from his mouth and you could swear half of your brain was short circuiting because of his crude way of speaking. For all his regal appearance, he was just like any other highschooler, a year older than you but his stature and delicate features gave him a magestic aura that exceeds that of people decades older than him.

Just by the few encounters from the past, you figured he wasn’t one for following traditions or rules if it didn’t suit him. He was way above the rest, in his own distant world everytime you saw him, the school he went to, the things he had experienced were all different.

Forgetting the other's existence after passing each other by with a few formalities exchanged was all you had done with each. You two were never close or even friends but now the chance presented itself to take your non existent relationship to the extreme end through your bodies.

You wanted this.

To feel good. The hormones of youth pumping your impulsiveness you relax your muscles and lie on your back. You could clearly hear Satoru’s playfully indifferent chuckle from above when you slowly part your legs to show him the sides of yourself that even you have never completely seen.

“Just this once, okay?”

He said he was just teaching you how to masturbate but it wasn’t that simple. The only person to get naked was you and the only person who experienced the mind numbing pleasure, was also you. He only needed his deft fingers and mouth to make you feel better and for a while you didn’t even question.

That one lesson of self pleasure which you both were supposed to forget turned into an entire session as day after day Satoru would show up at your parents house unbeknownst to a soul and you both crossed the same lines of platonic relationship everyday.

The euphoria was endless but with a single rule that you weren’t allowed to touch him in turn and it goes without saying that the two of you never went all the way. It would always start with small talks about the day, even when you’d be talking, all your focus was on what was to come next.

That’s why after a few weeks of the detached pleasure he provided you, it got you thinking what he actually wanted from you. Satoru had already seen, touched and tasted all your body had to offer, never revealing any of his own.

You wondered if he ever felt sexually frustrated by always giving and never asking for anything in return. You knew he was not THAT nice. At least that’s what you believed considering his sadistic streak in bed. He did seem to be enjoying himself when he's messing you up so maybe he didn’t have many sexual urges that he needed to satisfy and was just acting on curiosity or maybe he had someone else, someone older with more experience who he didn’t constantly had a upper hand with and was able to see them as an equal. This thought alone made your chest tight, with an unnatural pain that threatened to break your heart.

You had to catch your darkening train of thought before it reached to the conclusion you were most afraid of. Knowing full well that this was just a fleeting moment that is only supposed to be enjoyed through a lens of carefree thinking, you push the budding feelings of the some very complicated emotions out of your system. The surge of jealousy you felt may have born out of falling in love with a family member but it was wrong on so many levels.

A love that starts with lust never ends well for anyone but as you were laying in his arms, the control over your body handed completely to him, your mind wondered how things would feel vice versa.

“ You seem distracted y/n”, Satoru looked at you, with his glasses off the beautiful azure eyes hidden beneath a delicate layer of white eyelashes filled your vison.

“ I’m obviously not doing it right if you have time to get lost in your thoughts”, putting you down on your bed, he started to move away and for a minute you got your hopes up, thinking your chance to finally have him completely and you cursed yourself for wanting at the same time. But no amount of berating would scrub off the insatiable thirst you had, for its roots had already made their way to your heart.

“Please let me help you too”, these few words took a lot of guts, letting go of all the inhibitions and threads of morality you fix Satoru with an unwavering gaze.

“ That’s okay babygirl, I’M the one who does the teaching here afterall”, you saw what he was trying to do, his airy yet gentle tone didn’t left much room for argument but the gray zone of your relationship was blurring to the point of confusion urged you to give into your clamoring emotions.

Without a second thought you jumped on him with all your might, closing the distance he put within seconds to cover his mouth with yours. You knew how much you weighed but despite your aggressive actions his sturdy form didn’t even deter form his position while catching you. You twirled your tongue over the roof of his mouth, the taste of your juices still lingering in there.

Hoping to have proven your resolve that wasn’t going to settle for getting brushed aside you break the kiss and look expectantly at him. An invisible bond between the two of you taking shape, strengthening the magnetism that attracted you to him.

“ That eager for my cock are you?”, Taking your face in one of his huge hand he makes you look straight at him, “You really want more? More than I'm already giving you?”, just one more push. You thought, with just a bit of coaxing, you were sure Satoru's wishy washy rules would crumble to make way for your upcoming actions.

“ I do. I know exactly what I want but”, steeling your nerves you face him, eye to eye, “ What do YOU want?”. The question was simple but the conflict swirling within Satoru’s eyes was evident and for the first time you realised that maybe this wasn’t just a case of casual hookup for him as well.

“ I want all your firsts. That’s all.” After a short stretch of silence he spoke, ironically the borderline obsessiveness of his glib response, like magic, cleared away the fog was previously clouding your mind. The nonchalance of his smirk should've been the red flag that made you rethink your life choices but the heat of the moment only seemed to ignite your lust.

Not uttering a single word, you quickly work on shedding him off his cloths, he doesn’t make any attempts at stopping you this time around, this knowledge pulling a smile out of you. By the time you reached for his boxers your hands were shaking.

Whether from excitement or nervousness you couldn’t tell but looking down through the veil of his heavy eyelashes, Satoru’s passion was evident.

Eyeing up his exposed body you still for a moment to take it all in. You ran you hands through his sculpted chest and down to his abdomen, your nails scratching the surface of his defined muscles. All of his masculinity contrasted with his oddly sweet scent and velvety pink lips that never failed to lure you in for deep soft kisses.

There’s no doubt girls must be always fawning over him and his perfectly smooth skin was something that even made you jealous. You were so captivated by his looks that you had to shake yourself free from your lovesick stupor .

You feel him up a little, hands running across his toned chest, you drag your nails through the rise and dips of his abdomen down to the contours of his defined V- line before turning your attention to his hardening member. Your breath quickens as your trembling fingers hook beneath his waistband.

Taking out his pulsating member you run your eyes up and down his entire length. He was big, to say at the very least. Bigger than you'd expected and more than you thought you could handle but backing out now would be straight up hypocrisy when your drooling mouth said otherwise.

With your ass right next to his chest, you start licking and sucking his tip with fervour, not wanting to waste even a single drop of his cum that you wanted so bad. You heard him moan lightly behind you, his voice only fuelled the fire that was burning your core. Having never given a blow job to anyone before you struggled in keeping a steady pace and his girthy cock didn’t make it any easier on you.

In just a few minutes you jaw ached and your entire face hurted but Satoru showed no signs of cumming.

In your own world again, you racked up your brain to figure out how to please him when suddenly you felt a hand climbing up your thigh. With the other hand he gripped your hips and pulled your lower half until you were straddling his mouth.

“ It’s a lot better like this don’t you think?”, as he spoke you felt his breath caressing your nether lips and you shivered in delight at the new position.

He snaked his hands in between your thighs and spread open your slit, glistening with your dripping arousal using his thumbs. Every single fold of yours now in display Satoru licked his plush lips before leaving open mouthed kisses on the exposed skin. His lips pulling out a series of appreciative hums as you desperately try to focus on your own actions.

Taking his hard length half in your mouth and half in one of your hand you tried to match the skilful movements of Satoru’s tongue that relentlessly lapped at your clit. After a few minutes of trying and failing to suck him up properly your senses got completely clouded by the heavy onslaught of that familiar release you had gotten used to.

You wanted to ask him to stop so you catch up to him but he the vigor in his actions and your own overwhelming surge of desires made you decide against it, the broken stings of his name died down with you still half choking on his length.

The only thing your lust laden mind could decipher except for pleasure was shame. To you, it was shameful how, being the one who asked to touch him, you were the one tethering near the edge. Before long your convulsing pussy was dripping with your juices, trickling down from his face that was still buried nose deep in your crotch.

Messing you up always filled Satoru with a kind of affection that he didn’t thought he was capable of.

Your cute whines getting muffled by his cock that you could only take half way past your llip sent waves of ecstasy down his spine. The cum that kept on flowing from your aching hole that he was the first to taste and the last as well took him to a high that no amount of pleasure could.

He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be the provider of your everything who had complete control over you or if he just wanted to spend hours into the night, praising every fibre of your being that was so eager to make him feel good. This duality of his thoughts confused him further and in that moment he knew he had to see this to the end.

Your heavy pants was the only thing that could be heard in the otherwise silent room, guilt and pleasure leaving you tongue tied. You move yourself from above him, your quivering body falling like a sac just beside his own.

“ I’m sorry! I couldn’t make you-“, before you could finish your breathy apology he brought up a finger near your frowning lips to quite you down.

“Its okay sugar, it was your first time. Not a big deal.”, the soft notes of his voice took the edge off of the disappointment you felt, “I told you. I’ll teach you everything.”

Those eyes. Two shining orbs of brilliant blue gazed at you in the same way you found yourself staring at him. Watching over you like it was their birthright and oddly enough, the scrutiny made you feel completly at home just like the warmth of his long arms that wrapped themselves around you.

" Realx Y/n, I'll be very thourough with my teaching, afterall,", your heart thumped loudly in your chest in response to his smooth voice, "I don't do things halfway.

The pleasent fatigue that had taken a hold of your body slowly dissipated but the growing haziness of your mind got you wondering if you were falling in deepness of his ocean blue eyes but as soon realization hit you, you were already halfway through blacking out.

That you’d never be forgiven for wanting.

From that moment on, you knew.

Part 2? Idk you tell me(╯︵╰,)

[a9saga]

as a cis lesbian, i have never, ever been pressured to have any sexual or romantic interaction of any kind with a trans woman, by anyone. no one has told me i should or need to be with a trans woman to prove that i am not transphobic, or to validate someone’s gender, or fucking whatever transphobes think lesbians are “pressured into sex” with trans women for. i have not been pressured into sex with a trans woman. ever. i’m only speaking for myself here.

in many lgbtq+ spaces i have attended irl, i am very comfortable with however many trans people have shared that space with me. some of them like women, some of them don’t, some are men, women, neither, both, fluctuating in between, whatever. i have not been disrespected by any of them for being a cis lesbian. and i have never so much as been asked if i’ve had any sexual or romantic experiences with trans women before. i am just known as a lesbian to trans people irl. no one has asked me if i would date or sleep with a trans woman and i know none of them are sitting around wondering if i would. because truly, the trans people i know of all genders and sexualities do not care what i do with my own sexuality. i’ve never had to bring it up myself either. truly, trans people do not give a shit.

trans people do not gather to tell everyone to date them. dating does not equal education or liberation, this is the dumbest of all fallacies. no one gives two shits about your dating life, dude, you’re not that hot.

when you enter a space for sapphic women to meet each other, you are not embracing the idea of sleeping with everyone in that space before going in. you also do not have to sleep with any trans woman in a space for queer women. if anyone’s pressuring you into sex, cis or trans, you have every right to reject them and if you are ever violated by another queer woman, i am truly sorry. you don’t deserve that. something needs to be done about that.

now if you’re shaking in your boots because you have read this post and thought “oh my god op would sleep with a trans woman there really are no real lesbians left” i haven’t said fuck all about if i’d sleep with a trans woman in this post. i haven’t named anyone in this post i would sleep with or date. “would you sleep with a trans person” is such a silly question to me. if you’re asking if i’d sleep with a woman of any other social demographic, you might as well ask me if i’d sleep with someone from cleveland or if i’d sleep with anyone whose favorite animal is a giraffe. it’s like..??? who are you putting in front of me and asking about anyway? i am not sitting around looking for transwomen or women from cleveland to sleep with. there has to be a person and situation to contextualize the question in order for it to make sense, otherwise i would just prefer not to be asked about it. it’s not worth discussing to me.

why does the visibility of transgender people make transphobes and even conservatives start worrying about lesbians?? what did i do? i’m right here, idk. if you’re worried about me, i’m fine. even right wingers will take on terfs to talk about ~the extinction of (cis) lesbians~ fucking. i’m right here. wanna ask me about my extinction? i don’t think lesbians are going anywhere, but whatever.

interestingly, i have had an experience this year where an old friend from my calc 2 class came out to me over text as a trans woman. and when she did, i told her, since i'd considered telling her although i’d not that of a reason to bring it up, that i’m a lesbian. some weeks later, she asked me, while insisting i didn’t have to answer this if i didn’t want to, how i’d figured out i was a lesbian. and i went off. woo boy what a complicated question, it is a very earth shattering thing sometimes to realize you can be a woman without loving men and especially that you are one. and she responded in awe at how much of what i said she had not even considered and thanked me for helping her realize she’s a lesbian, more abruptly than she had expected apparently. oh, and also, this trans lesbian friend? did not go on to pressure me into sex or a relationship, if you were wondering.