#mystic millie

[cjbolan]

How the Emily Windsnap movies might differ from the books now that Emily’s gonna be 16…

1) All the kid characters will get aged up to be about 16 years old.

2) The kids’ stakes will be much higher, so audiences can still feel the same heightened suspense for them whenever peril is afoot.

3) Emily and Aaron’s romance will be much more passionate and intense.

4) Emily won’t be so confused about being in love. She may have some wrong ideas about love, but at 16 she’d have some notion of what love is like. Probably from reading teen magazines or watching one too many teen movies 😆. Maybe unlike the books, she’ll be 100% confident about their relationship after their first kiss.

5) Mandy will be much more sneaky in how she bullies Emily. Assuming she’s also aged up to 16. Unlike the books where she screams “FISH GIRL” at Emily loud enough for everyone to hear, maybe she whispers it whenever she can get close enough to Emily. And unlike the book where she blatantly pushes Emily into the pool in front of everyone, Mandy will try making it look like an accident and push Emily in a more subtle way. And she might stop not just Julie, but the entire class from wanting to befriend Emily.

6) Millie won’t babysit Emily anymore . Which might drastically affect their relationship. Honestly who babysits a 16-year-old?

7) Mr. Beeston might drop the whole awkward “birds and bees”-style sex talk , and just bluntly tell Emily how she was born from wedlock. He might assume Emily at 16 is mature enough to understand.

8) Jake might be more clingy and overprotective of Emily. If she’s 16 when they finally reunite , then their time together will be very short. They’ll have only ~2 years together before she goes off to college and possibly away from home. And Emily will be at an age where more boys are interested in her. Jake may not be ready yet to let other men into her life, as he’s the first man to JUST enter her life. Not counting Mr. Beeston. Remember Jake’s “…ALONE?!” comment when he’s told Emily and Aaron will be alone together? Just imagine that scene magnified up to 11. This will also makes his Book 2 treatment of Emily even more infantilizing (giving her a baby doll, secretly following her, dismissing her fears and worries by telling white lies, etc.). This might create more conflict between them in the long run.

(thanks to @orithereticent @sundayahope @lolbeech @deepestphotoshopwonderwomanpaper @werewolfpurfect and many more for inspiring some of these ideas!)

[justanotherhh]

me: dammit stolas you can't just walk away from someone who's struggling to connect with you, even if they're doing so through the poorly processed means of yelling insults, you've gotta give them time to work through it and not need to control everything

also me: [is aware that i also need to engineer situations to go perfectly and if someone started yelling at me i too would immediately get triggered and leave the situation and cry and if i had portal-making powers would yeet them to another continent, never mind just outside the door]

[intheshadowsfromtherightcorner]

Joined @tsutsuji-mystic 's art comp! I'm so sorry if I joined late, Tsutsuji 😭🙏

It took me weeks because of school 💀👍

Also, a little bonus because I love you 😘

My fav orange child /j

[mirobraz]

The Nightingale (2018), dir. Jennifer Kent.

[legallybrunettedotcom]

BUFFY READING LIST

As promised @possession1981 and I have compiled a list of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and Angel) related academic text and books. I think this is a good starting point for both a long time fan and for someone just getting into the show, or just someone interested in vampire lore. I have included several books about the vampire lore and myth in general as well. Most of these are available online.

BOOKS

Fighting the Forces: What's at Stake in Buffy the Vampire Slayer; edited by Rhonda V. Wilcox & David Lavery

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy - Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale by James B. South

Buffy Goes Dark: Essays on the Final Two Seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Television, edited by Lynne Y. Edwards, Elizabeth L. Rambo & James B. South

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Myth, Metaphor and Morality by Mark Field

Televised Morality: The Case of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Gregory Stevenson

Undead TV: Essays on Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Elana Levine

The Aesthetics of Culture in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Matthew Pateman

Girls Who Bite Back: Witches, Mutants, Slayers and Freaks by Emily Pohl-Weary

Why Buffy Matters: The Art of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Ronda Wilcox

Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born: How Buffy Staked Our Hearts by Evan Ross Katz

The Lure of the Vampire: Gender, Fiction, and Fandom from Bram Stoker to Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Milly Williamson

Blood Relations: Chosen Families in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel by Jes Battis

Sex and the Slayer: A Gender Studies Primer for the Buffy Fan by Lorna Jowett

Diseases of the Head: Essays on the Horrors of Speculative Philosophy; edited by Matt Rosen (chapter 2 Death of Horror)

Public Privates: Feminist Geographies of Mediated Spaces by Marcia R. England (chapter 1 Welcome to the Hellmouth: Paradoxical Spaces in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Open Graves, Open Minds: Representations of Vampires and the Undead From the Enlightenment to the Present Day; edited by Sam George and Bill Hughes (chapter 8 ‘I feel strong. I feel different’: transformations, vampires and language in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The Contemporary Television Series; edited by Michael Hammond and Lucy Mazdon (chapter 9 Television, Horror and Everyday Life in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Joss Whedon and Race: Critical Essays; edited by Mary Ellen Iatropoulos and Lowery A. Woodall III

Buffy and the Heroine's Journey: Vampire Slayer as Feminine Chosen One by Valerie Estelle Frankel

The Existential Joss Whedon: Evil and Human Freedom in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Serenity by J. Michael Richardson and J. Douglas Rabb

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 20 Years of Slaying: The Watcher's Guide Authorized by Christopher Golden

Reading the Vampire Slayer: The Complete, Unofficial Guide to 'Buffy' and 'Angel' by Roz Kaveney

Hollywood Vampire: The Unnoficial Guide to Angel by Keith Topping

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Monster Book by Christopher Golden

Slayer Slang: A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Lexicon by Michael Adams

What Would Buffy Do? The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide by Jana Riess

ARTICLES, PAPERS ETC.

Bibliographic Good vs. Evil in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by GraceAnne A. DeCandido

Undead Letters: Searches and Researches in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by William Wandless

Weaponised information: The role of information and metaphor in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Jacob Ericson

Buffy, Dark Romance and Female Horror Fans by Lorna Jowett

My Vampire Boyfriend: Postfeminism, "Perfect" Masculinity, and the Contemporary Appeal of Paranormal Romance by Ananya Mukherjea

Buffy, The Vampire Slayer as Spectacular Allegory: A Diagnostic Critique by Douglas Kellner

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer": Technology, Mysticism, and the Constructed Body by Sara Raffel

When Horror Becomes Human: Living Conditions in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" by Jeroen Gerrits

Post-Vampire: The Politics of Drinking Humans and Animals in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight", and "True Blood" by Laura Wright

Cops, Teachers, and Vampire Slayers: Buffy as Street-Level Bureaucrat by Andrea E. Mayo

"Not Like Other Men"?: The Vampire Body in Joss Whedon's "Angel" by Lorna Jowett

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Domestic Church: Revisioning Family and the Common Good by Reid B. Locklin

“Buffy vs. Dracula”’s Use of Count Famous (Not drawing “crazy conclusions about the unholy prince”) by Tara Elliott

A Little Less Ritual and a Little More Fun: The Modern Vampire in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Stacey Abbott

Undressing the Vampire: An Investigation of the Fashion of Sunnydale’s Vampires by Robbie Dale

"And Yet": The Limits of Buffy Feminism by Renee St. Louis & Miriam Riggs

Meet the Cullens: Family, Romance and Female Agency in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight by Kirsten Stevens

Bliss and Time: Death, Drugs, and Posthumanism in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Rob Cover

That Girl: Bella, Buffy, and the Feminist Ethics of Choice in Twilight and Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Catherine Coker

A Slayer Comes to Town: An Essay on Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Scott Westerfeld 

Undead Objects of a “Queer Gaze” : A Visual Approach to Buffy’s Vampires Using Lacan’s Extended RSI Model by Marcus Recht

When You Kiss Me, I Want to Die: Gothic Relationships and Identity on Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Ananya Mukherjeea

Necrophilia and SM: The Deviant Side of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Terry L. Spaise

Queering the Bitch: Spike, Transgression and Erotic Empowerment by Dee Amy-Chinn

“I Want To Be A Macho Man”: Examining Rape Culture, Adolescent Female Sexuality, and the Destabilization of Gender Binaries in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Angelica De Vido

Staking Her Claim: Buffy the Vampire Slayer as Transgressive Woman Warrior by Frances H. Early

Actualizing Abjection: Drusilla, the Whedonversees’ Queen of Queerness by Anthony Stepniak

“Life Isn’t A Story”: Xander, Andrew and Queer Disavowal in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Steven Greenwood

S/He’s a Rebel: The James Dean Trope in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Kathryn Hill

“Once More, with Feeling”: Emotional Self-Discipline in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Gwynnee Kennedy and Jennifer Dworshack-Kinter

“The Hardest Thing in This World Is To Live In It”: Identity and Mental Health in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Alex Fixler

"Love's Bitch But Man Enough to Admit It": Spikes Hybridized Gender by Arwen Spicer

Negotiations After Hegemony: Buffy and Gender by Franklin D. Worrell

Double Trouble: Gothic Shadows and Self-Discovery in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Elizabeth Gilliland

'What If I'm Still There? What If I Never Left That Clinic?': Faërian Drama in Buffy's "Normal Again" by Janet Brennan Croft

Not Gay Enough So You’d Notice: Poaching Fuffy by Jennifer DeRoss

Throwing Like A Slayer: A Phenomenology of Gender Hybridity and Female Resilience in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Debra Jackson

“You Can’t Charge Innocent People for Saving Their Lives!” Work in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Matt Davies

Ambiguity and Sexuality in Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A Sartrean Analysis by Vivien Burr

Imagining the Family: Representations of Alternative Lifestyles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Vivien Burr and Christine Jarvis

Working-Class Hero? Fighting Neoliberal Precarity in Buffy’s Sixth Season by Michelle Maloney-Mangold

A Corpse by Any Other Name: Romancing the Language of the Body in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein for the Adam Storyline in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Amber P. Hodge

Sensibility Gone Mad: Or, Drusilla, Buffy and the (D)evolution of the Heroine of Sensibility by Claire Knowles

"It's good to be me": Buffy's Resistance to Renaming by Janet Brennan Croft

Death as a Gift in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Work and Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Gaelle Abalea

“All Torment, Trouble, Wonder, and Amazement Inhabits Here": The Vicissitudes of Technology in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by James B. South

Staking Her Colonial Claim: Colonial Discourses, Assimilation, Soul-making, and Ass-kicking in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Jessica Hautsch

“I Run To Death”: Renaissance Sensibilities in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Christine Jarvis

Dressed To Kill: Fashion and Leadership in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Christine Jarvis and Don Adams

Queer Eye Of That Vampire Guy: Spike and the Aesthetics of Camp by Cynthea Masson and Marni Stanley

“Sounds Like Kinky Business To Me”: Subtextual and Textual Representations of Erotic Power in Buffyverse by Lewis Call

“Did Anyone Ever Explain to You What ‘Secret Identity’ Means?”: Race and Displacement in Buffy and Dark Angel  by Cynthia Fuchs

“It’s About Power”: Buffy, Foucault, and the Quest for Self by Julie Sloan Brannon

Why We Love the Monsters: How Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer Wound Up Dating the Enemy by Hilary M. Leon

Why We Can’t Spike Spike?: Moral Themes in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Richard Greene and Wayne Yuen

Buffy, the Scooby Gang, and Monstrous Authority: BtVS and the Subversion of Authority by Daniel A. Clark & P. Andrew Miller

Are Vampires Evil?: Categorizations of Vampires, and Angelus and Spike as the Immoral and the Amoral by Gert Magnusson

BOOKS ABOUT VAMPIRE LORE AND MYTH IN GENERAL

The Vampire Lectures by Laurence A. Rickels 

Our Vampires, Ourselves by Nina Auerbach

Vampires, Burial, and Death: Folklore and Reality by Paul Barber

The Secret History of Vampires: Their Multiple Forms and Hidden Purposes by Claude Lecouteux

The Vampire Cinema by David Pirie

The Living and the Undead: Slaying Vampires, Exterminating Zombies by Gregory A. Waller

Vampire Forensics: Uncovering the Origins of an Enduring Legend by Mark Jenkins

Slayers and Their Vampires: A Cultural History of Killing the Dead by Bruce A. McClelland

The History and Folklore of Vampires: The Stories and Legends Behind the Mythical Beings by Charles River Editors

Encyclopedia of Vampire Mythology by Theresa Bane

Vampires of Lore: Traits and Modern Misconceptions by A. P. Sylvia

The Vampire: A New History by Nick Groom

Vampyres: Genesis and Resurrection: from Count Dracula to Vampirella by Christopher Frayling

Race in the Vampire Narrative by U. Melissa Anyiwo

Vampires, Race, and Transnational Hollywoods by Dale Hudson

[chaifootsteps]

another plot hole - how is it Striker has heard about Blitzo 'conning that ditzy blueblood to get to the surface' but no one else has?

like if we give the show the benefit of the doubt and assume Verosika thought Stolas and Blitzo were actually dating because they were together at Ozzie's, are we also supposed to believe that she - a literal celebrity succubus - doesn't have a useful gossip grapevine that would fill her in on the rest of the story?

Striker must've known somehow and I doubt Millie mentioned it to her parents since they don't say anything about Stolas (and also it's breaking demon law for them to be using the book)

so how is it possible he knows and not Verosika?

and worse than that, how did Verosika find out about the 'breakup' without hearing about the deal? the show really relies on contrivances in s2 but this one just doesn't make sense, because unless Stolas or Blitzo themselves told someone who made it common knowledge enough for Verosika to find out (it's not like any of Blitzo's family/acquaintances are friends with her) there's legit no way she could've known

also apology tour is explicitly stated to be the morning after full moon. if it was just a rumor how would it have circulated in that short amount of time?

honestly the only answer that makes sense to me is Stolas posting a passive aggressive social media status or something. that would be in line with something he'd do, but the show doesn't bother trying to explain any of this because it never cares to think anything through

The most logical explanation for this is definitely Stolas's passive aggressive social media presence, but my preferred one is the mystical soul mate bond Striker shares with Blitz. Also, this show is a tangled clusterfuck that never plans more than 50 seconds in either direction.

[sundove88]

Theory: The St. Pastry Order is Worshipping The Five Beasts.

This is gonna be a speculation theory of mine about the five newest characters in Cookie Run Kingdom- The Five Beasts and how they could be connected to the St Pastry Order!

And like always…

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

First of all, let’s start with Exhibit A- aka that one scene in Cookie Odyssey.

Ya know how Millie-Feuille Cookie was leading a CULT of kids with fragments of the Soul Jams?

Well, I theorize that they were gonna give those shards to the St Pastry Order so they can revive the 5 Beasts for good.

Heck, Mystic Flour Cookie LOOKS like someone from the St. Pastry Order!! Especially with the headpiece and the outfit!

And Eternal Sugar Cookie looks like a fallen Angel- because in her design, she has Angel wings and a halo + devil wings and a devil tail!

And not just that, in Exhibit B, aka the opening cinematic for the Beast Yeast update, they’re all sealed in Forks. And you know what else has forks? The St. Pastry Order!

And you know what that could mean as well? THE ST PASTRY ORDER COULD HAVE A LOCATION IN BEAST YEAST!!!

And not only that, I personally predict they’re gonna return in a future world exploration episode/Special Episode where it’s revealed that the FIVE BEASTS are the ones they’ve been worshipping.

TL;DR: The St Pastry Order is worshipping the Five Beasts.

[lych33dragoncookie]

alright so the main reason i wanted to make this blog; those new Wind Archer trailers.

I already had a lot to say about the first one, for... One big reason.

The fact we're going to the laboratorium is pretty exciting, but I did not expect for us to already catch a glimpse of the Ultimate Cookie. In fact, I had almost forgotten about that; I thought Matcha making MyCookie was more of a byproduct of the Beast cookies needing bodies to inhabit, but...

Well, I guess Dark Enchantress's original ambitions haven't left her. And she's really, really close to realizing her dreams; the dreams she carries on from White Lily Cookie.

It really makes me wonder how White Lily would react to these developments. To see her dreams realized, every bit as horrifying as she most likely knew they'd be, carried on by a part of herself. I really, really wanna see where they go with this.

On another note...

sorry, i just much prefer his Japanese VA HE'S BAAAAAAAACKKKKK~

You have... No idea how frustrated I was to see that the first Beast cookie to release was Mystic Flour and not him. And while it's not guaranteed we'll get him this time, either (even if i really hope we do)... Come on, it's just nice to have him back. He's a really, really fun antagonist. Sometimes, when all your antagonists have complex motives, believing that despite everything they've done, ultimately they're the ones in the right (with even Dark Enchantress only committing as much harm as she has as a response to the revelation that the world, on a fundamental level, was seemingly much more cruel, uncaring and pointless than she had ever thought; a desperate need to make a difference, no matter how many lives and pain it takes), it's incredibly nice to have that one villain, that one villain who doesn't try to find an excuse for what they do, having fun, not believing that they're doing everything that they do for some greater motive, but just to have fun, to make the entire world one big, brightly burning play area for them to toy with as long as they want, however they want. I love Shadow Milk, because he perfectly offsets the usual monologuing, self-righteous villainy we tend to see (And often enjoy, don't get me wrong, both Dark Enchantress and Mystic Flour have grown one me) with just pure, uncaring, show-stopping villainy for the sake of villainy.

He's manipulative, playful, silly, over the top, more concerned with putting on a show first and foremost than actually accomplishing his objectives; because you and I both know that he knows that he could probably just brute force his way into getting his soul jam back, into taking down the heroes without any opportunity for them to do anything about it. If he wanted to, he could very, very easily create an unwinnable scenario. But he doesn't. Because that's no fun.

And I absolutely adore him for it. Every single scene he's in is an absolute delight.

... Right, uh. Wind Archer.

I'm excited for him! It's been a while since we've gotten any Ovenbreak legendaries, and with Wind Archer in the game, it means we're likely very close to seeing Fire Spirit and Millennial Tree (Both pretty big faves for me, though Millie is the one that does unholy things to my brain just from looking at him). And honestly, this feels like a really, really good use for him! No beating around the bush, no overcomplicating anything, just going straight to the point and trying to stop the current threat at its root. He's going to fail, obviously. Even if he takes out the ultimate cookie, chances are it can just be rebuilt, and the beasts on an individual level would be way too much for him to handle. And with Shadow Milk having awoken... Yeah, he stands just about no chance. But, it will be very fun to see, methinks. It's also just a pretty natural fit; a protector of nature that hunts down anything that may disturb or corrupt said nature being sent to strike down what's pretty much a threat that's entirely artificial, unnatural, bodies made through forbidden, arcane magic and ethically dubious means, stumbling upon the culmination of someone's ambitions to create perfect life by artificial means. It works out really, really well, methinks.

But yeah that's my thoughts so far on the 2 Wind Archer update trailers, I'm actually really excited for where they're gonna take this, we've actually got some good plot progression going on and a lot of interesting writing ideas that while I don't fully trust the devs to execute perfectly, I do still really like and feel pretty hopeful for!

... Now just give me Shadow Milk and Millennial Tree and my life is yours. And Lychee, maybe. That one might take a bit. how are they even gonna do Longan in Kingdom. that's... quite a lot to try to adapt without either rehashing content or completely hijacking the plot. god i hope this doesn't mean they'll just stop at Lotus. I miss my dragons. Except not really because OB has been doing some good stuff with them.

Sorry for the really long post, but I wanted to dump some thoughts and have a sort of primer for the kinda stuff I wanna make for this blog.

Oh, and expect some shitposts along the way, too.

[cjbolan]

I just realized the SIGNIFICANCE of elephants in Emily Windsnap. In the last book, Millie gives Emily an elephant figurine that becomes very important later. Elephants are a matriarchal species. Elephant females help each other raise their young because there’s no adult males around. Just like how Millie helped Mary raise Emily all those years while there was no father around. Left image by E. Farley, right image by Natacha Ledwidge. (This series had a far better use of elephants in its finale than Game of Thrones.)

[minthe-drawings]

Just designing my Scarlet Hollow MC✨ Reese for height comparison :')

---

Her name: Mildred (Millie)

Traits: Mystical/Street Smart

Likes: Sweets, art, macabre topics, money

Dislikes: Bodies of water, loud noises, secrets

---

Game: @blacktabbygames

[intheshadowsfromtherightcorner]

Gives you a flower crown:)

Give her a moment, she's crying from your kindness and how sweet and cute that was 😔🫶💕

[bambiraptorx]

[I.D. Digital drawing of an AU version of Mikey from ROTTMNT, named Miltiades (Millie for short). He stands with his hands framing his face, sticking his tongue out. He's wearing a blueish grey puffy jacket that has large light blue, cloud-like shapes scattered across it, and has no pants. He also has a copper-colored pendant hanging around his neck. The nails on his fingers and toes are painted gold. He has small, somewhat uneven oval markings above his eyes that look like bean shaped eyebrows. End I.D.]

Got a design finished for Millie for my Draxum raises the turtles au! Fun fact about the pendant, it's an enchanted mystic object that helps dull his natural hypersensitivity to the mystic energy around him. He wears it pretty much all the time.

Other refs:

Lua

Ragnarok

[socialistexan]

73 Yards, Series 14/1, episode 4

My rating: 9.4

Doctor Rank (as of premiere): 1/5

Series Rank: 7/343 (yes, really)

Episodes with similar scores: The Curse of Fenric, Silence in the Library, Pyramids of Mars, Turn Left

Live watchthrough notes:

Review under cut

Interesting that I rated this so similarly to Turn Left, as thematically they are incredibly similar, though this one has more of a mystical horror vibe while Turn Left had a true life war documentary feel.

Finally a true showcase for Millie as Ruby. She doesn't quite deliver the performance that Catherine Tate did in Turn Left, but she did an amazing job. Finally sold on her as a great, not just good, companion. Hardly even missed Ncuti, it was that good.

These tightly written episodes with focused plots and stellar performances really are nice.

The show is leaning into the fantasy and supernatural style episodes, and really for the better. The show has never been hard-scifi, so it makes sense to really have fun with it.

So cool to see Kate Stewart again! And leaning into the anti fascist roots was so nice, the show really is back.

Overall just quality episode, can't talk too much about it without just describing the episode. This is one that will live in my head for a while!

[kimchicuddles]

gevurah b'netzach, for my mishpocha who are counting with me… Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls… text reads:

gevurah b'netzach (discernment and strength within endurance)

During childbirth, I needed a kind of endurance that I'd never needed before. 

What brought me the ability to keep going was the discernment 

in knowing what to focus my energy and attention on.

The intensity of the moment brought me into a sort of hyperfocus of my surroundings,

and in every milli-second when I felt the pain becoming unbearable again 

I shifted focus onto a new object and named it in my mind...

"yellow chair... blue curtain... white ceiling"

This gave me the inner strength to keep going a moment longer.

And because I went through that I have a feeling like I can go through anything.

When I become overwhelmed, I can notice the objects in the room I'm in, 

and it snaps me back into remembering who I am and what I'm capable of.

#countingtheomer #gevurah #netzach #kabbalah #sefirot #jewish 

[eriquin]

The Prophetic D&D Game, Part 2

Part 1

Eddie went around the table handing out folded over pages like they were prizes. The boys were silent as they unfolded them, with some of them being more careful about keeping them secret than others. 

“Yes!” Mike said, throwing a hand in the air. “He’s really a paladin! Woo!” 

“Mike loves playing a paladin,” Lucas said.

Eddie nodded. “I had noticed that. We’ll see how he does with Joe.” 

“So I guess I should assume we’re all a little more powerful than the little level ones you reeled us in with?” Jeff asked. He was keeping his sheet folded over. 

“You should assume nothing!” Eddie said with a wave of his hand. 

“Maybe one of us is the murderer!” Dustin giggled. He gave Mike a little shove. “Maybe it’s you, Mr. Paladin.” 

“I would never,” Mike said. “That goes against the paladin’s code.” 

Dustin raised his eyebrows. “Maybe the murder victim was a terrible person and you were forced to kill them.”

“No way,” Mike said. “Maybe you’re just trying to throw suspicion off of yourself!”

“Jesus, we haven’t even started the game and the infighting is already happening,” Gareth said. “Nice job, Eddie.”

“I know,” Eddie said. He hadn’t stopped grinning. “Before we get started, does anyone want to change their seats? Rearrange themselves to be closer to their co-conspirators, as it were?” 

They all took another look at their character information. Gareth got up first. “Dustin, trade with me,” he said. “I need to sit next to Mike.”

Dustin made a weird little hooting noise as he got up. “Are Maya and Joe secret lovers? Is that why his fiancée dumped him?” 

“No, dumbass, they’re siblings,” Gareth said.

“Well, kind of,” Mike said. “I mean, they’re actually—”

“Hey, no telling all our family secrets to strangers,” Gareth said as he took Dustin’s chair. He waved his finger in Mike’s face. “Come on, dude.” 

“Right. Right.” Mike nodded. He pulled a little notebook from his backpack and tore out a sheet of paper. “We can pass notes, right?”

Eddie nodded. “I expect you’ll be doing a lot of that in this game, yeah.” 

They all settled into place and started sharing small amounts of information. Everyone knew each other from a past adventure, where they had fought together and assisted a sorceress in banishing a demon. Caleb and Gaten had grown up in the same village, along with two other boys. The sorceress had been the long lost twin sister of one of the boys.

“That’s very Star Wars,” Dustin said. 

“It’s a pretty common thing in mythology, actually,” Eddie said. “But yeah, I might’ve been thinking of Princess Leia when I made Millie the Mystic.” 

“Leia should totally have force powers,” Dustin said. 

“She should!” Eddie yelled. 

“For the love of god can we not start this again?” Gareth sighed. “Okay, so half our friends took Millie back to the hidden village so she could recover, right? Does that matter? Like, is it close enough that we could get them to help if something goes terribly wrong?” 

“No, it’s too far. You usually send letters, but it takes weeks to get there, and none of you have teleport. There are magic items you can use to send a faster message, but they’re unreliable.” 

Gareth scratched his head. “So, it’s just backstory?” 

“Basically. To explain how you all know each other.” Eddie grinned. “But maybe it’s important.”

“You’re the worst,” Gareth said. He started scribbling a note to Mike. 

Once everyone had established how they knew each other, Eddie set up his DM screen and stretched his arms out over the table. He waited until he had their attention before launching into his story.

“The sleepy little castle town of Kiteshire has had its fair share of tragedies, but things have largely settled down in the past few years. It seems like business as usual one bright Saturday morning, with everyone going out to work or running errands, when the rumors start to spread. A body has been found in the thieves’ quarter. Now, this would normally not be news. Thieves kill each other all the time. But this was the body of a noblewoman. Lady Grace, beloved philanthropist, was found in a most horrific state. The guards have been trying to keep it quiet, but bad news travels fast. So far, there are only whispers of what happened, but they imply that it could only have been done with magic.”

“Caleb’s one of the guards, right?” Jeff asked. “Does he know anything?”

“He’s a junior guard,” Eddie said. “There’s a group of senior guards in charge of the investigation. He knows that Lady Grace was married to one of them. Lord Mason. Word is that he’s in his mansion, paralyzed with grief.” 

“So no suspects?”

“None that they’ve said yet.” 

“What about Sadie?” Lucas asked. “She’s a thief, and she lives in the thieves’ quarter with her mother. Did either of them see anything?” 

Eddie smiled and folded up a note to pass to Lucas. The boy’s eyes grew wide as he read it. “Woah,” he said. “I have to go talk to someone.” 

“Would you talk to Caleb?” Jeff asked. 

Lucas shook his head. “No. Remember how Caleb joined the guards even though Sadie was a thief?” He flipped his hand as if tossing back imaginary locks of long hair over his shoulder. “We’re from two different worlds, Caleb.”

Jeff clutched his hand over his heart. “But Sadie! Darling! My love!” he said. The rest of the table giggled.

“It’s over between us,” Lucas said. “I’m going to, uh—” He double-checked his notes. “Gaten for help.”

Dustin rubbed his hands together and turned to Lucas. The other boy leaned in and whispered something to him, then passed him the note. Dustin’s eyes also grew wide. “Wait, wait, wait,” he said as he flipped over his character sheet and pointed at a line on it. “Quinn? I know him! He’s the one who taught me how to be a bard.”

“You’re a bard?” Mike asked. “But halflings can’t be bards!” 

“Oh my god, Mike,” Gareth said. “I know it says lawful good on your character sheet but you don’t have to be such a little bitch about the rules all the time.” 

“Okay, we’re ignoring Mike,” Eddie said. “Dustin, what’s Gaten doing with this information?” 

Dustin grimaced. “I mean... Shit, we need some help, don’t we?” He sighed. “Okay, so Sadie and I are going to go to the archives to look up some things.”

“Hey, that’s where Maya and Joe work,” Gareth said, patting Mike’s arm.

“I guess we’re not ignoring Mike afterall,” Mike said smugly. 

“You’re not talking,” Gareth said. He put his hand over Mike’s mouth. “No-no-no. You just stand guard at the front door, like one of those Buckingham palace guys. You have to show no emotion and not flinch when tourists make fun of you.”

Mike squirmed out from under Gareth’s hand. “No. No way,” he said. “I do not agree to that. I’m at the archive desk with you. We spend the whole time filling requests and making fun of what people are looking up.”

Gareth stroked his chin and nodded. “I’ll accept that. Okay, so Joe and I are at the desk by the archives when you guys walk in. You need to get our permission to access them, so you’d better have a good story, or else I’m going to have Joe throw you out.”

“Joe would never throw me out,” Dustin said. “He loves Gaten like a brother.” 

“Only when you don’t bother me at work,” Mike said. “When I’m at work, you little shits better be on your best behavior.”

Dustin snickered. “Oh, you know who you sound like?” 

“I know!” Mike slapped his hand on the table. “Oh my god, that’s how I’m going to play this, isn’t it? That’s a terrible idea.”

“What is?” Eddie asked. 

“Nothing. Nevermind,” Mike said, rubbing his face. “It’s not important. Anyway!” He slipped back into character. “Welcome to the city archives. How can we help you?” His voice dropped from a chipper customer-service register to a deadpan. “Oh, it’s you. This better be good, Maya and I are working.” Gareth started to giggle. 

Lucas frowned and leaned in close to whisper in Dustin’s ear. He looked confused until Dustin whispered something back, and then he threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, that’s good. He even sounds like him.”

“Hey, shut up,” Mike said.

“It’s what you were going for, isn’t it?” Dustin asked.

Mike’s mouth twisted into a frown. “I mean... Still. Shut up and stay in character or I’ll throw you out of the archives.” 

“I gotta say, I’m loving this,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, I have no idea what’s going on, but this is great,” Jeff added. “Wish I had some popcorn.” 

“Just get to the point,” Gareth said. “Fill us in on what happened so we don’t have all this whispering back-and-forth all the time. I want to start investigating.”

Dustin spread his hands out “Okay, so, we need to do some research on curses and bardic magic,” he said. “It’s... Lucas, do you want to tell them?”

Lucas nodded. “Yeah, Sadie will fill them in. She tells them how the guards showed up in the building across from her this morning, and she saw the body of Lady Grace there. It was all twisted and broken, like she’d been tortured or done in by dark magic.”

“What kind of dark magic? Like, demonic magic?” Gareth asked. 

“I mean, maybe?” Lucas continued. “That’s why we’re here. To look it up.” 

“And also to help clear my mentor’s name!” Dustin said. “She was found in the home of Quinn the bard, and I know he would never dabble in dark magic. He’s missing and the guards are looking for him. We need to find him first.” 

Mike and Gareth wanted more information about what they already knew, and why they were so sure that Quinn wasn’t the killer. Dustin did a bit of metagaming then, saying that it couldn’t be the person that the guards suspected because that’d be too easy. Mike countered with the concept of double-bluff, theorizing that Eddie would try something like that, which was where Eddie stepped in and quashed it. 

“Don’t make me make you all do this in-character,” he said. “I will!”

“Then I won’t get to talk at all,” said Jeff. “I’m still stuck training with the guards.” 

“He’s got a point. We should get the group all together,” Lucas said.

Jeff frowned and gave his shoulder a little shove. “You’re the one who didn’t want to tell me.”

“No, Sadie wouldn’t tell you,” Lucas said. “I was trying not to metagame at the time.” 

Jeff chuckled at this, but Eddie cleared his throat and gave the group of them such a mean glare that they all got back on track in a hurry. Dustin and Gareth came up with some theories about how they would research the magic used without being able to cast anything at the scene while the rest of them listened. Mike suggested they talk to witnesses, but Lucas said there weren’t any. 

“Other than me, I guess,” he added. “I was the only one out on the street when Quinn ran away. Oh, but something weird happened right before. Maybe that’s a clue. Hold on, let me check Eddie’s note.” 

The rest of the team leaned in to listen as Lucas read from the note he’d been given and hear about how the gas lamps on their street had pulsed ominously. Dustin theorized that it was just the wind, but Mike said it wouldn’t have been written down if that was the case. Gareth groaned and poked Mike in the arm, whispering, “Metagaming!” 

“Oh! It has to have been different from what would normally have happened, or else Sadie wouldn’t have noticed it,” Lucas said. “Maybe it was, like, some kind of a pattern?” 

“Fucking thank you,” Eddie mumbled. He pointed at Lucas. “Roll against your wisdom to figure the pattern out.” 

Lucas rolled and Eddie stood up to describe the scene that his character had witnessed. How the gas lamps in the street had been shielded from all the wind, but in unison they had all gone out, then flared back to life, then out again. The boys all watched him intently, but it was Gareth who pulled his notes out and tapped them. “Demonic magic from another realm can be detected in the way it can suppress mundane flames,” he said, holding the page up. “Also, magical lights will turn strange colors in its presence. Jeez, Eddie, there are a lot of weird details here. You came up with this on the fly?” 

The younger boys were all staring at each other and looking a little grim. Dustin was the one to speak up first. “So, it’s like the lights were flickering?” he asked quietly.

Eddie frowned. “I mean, this is D&D. It’s not like they’re light bulbs burning out, but... I guess? Yeah, that’s kind of what I pictured.” 

“Were there any other signs of demonic magic?” Mike asked. He sounded cautious, and his question was directed at Eddie instead of Lucas.

Eddie looked over to Lucas, who was staring down at his notes but didn’t look like he was reading them. “Well, Sadie?” he asked. “Anything else you want to tell your friends?” 

Lucas looked up briefly when he realized the question was directed at him. “I mean. There weren’t, right? No, monsters or...” He looked between the notes that were specific to the events of the game and the ones that were background information. “Uh. No smell of brimstone or...”

Jeff, who had leaned in to read the details over his shoulder, chimed in with the rest of them when he hesitated. “Or flakes of ash in the air, like hell was seeping through to the material plane.” He chuckled. “Damn, Eddie, really leaning into the satanic vibe, huh?” 

The three freshmen shared a startled look. “Oh, come on, guys,” Gareth said. “Don’t tell me you’re freaked out by a little satanism.”

“You’re in a club called Hellfire,” Jeff said. 

“I promise, we only sacrifice virgins,” Gareth said. “Oh, wait!”

Eddie scoffed. “Please. Like membership in this club isn’t a bright shining ‘don’t fuck me’ sign on its own,” he said. “Quit teasing the sheepies for being intimidated by my disturbing imagination and get back to the game.”

Jeff and Gareth both rolled their eyes in unison. “Yeah, all right,” Jeff said. 

“I thought the club was named that because of the X-Men comics,” Dustin said. 

Eddie grinned. “It was, Henderson,” he said. “It has the added bonus of freaking out the mundanes in the rest of the school who don’t know about its innocuous origin.” 

“I mean, those same people probably don’t think of comics as innocuous,” said Gareth. “In fact, X-Men itself is pretty subversive, being about—”

“Bup-bup-bup! No! No more digressions!” Eddie slammed his hand on the table. Everyone shut up and he stared off in the middle distance, looking angry and frustrated. It melted away in a second, though. “Wait, where the fuck were we? In game, I mean. I’ve lost track.” 

Mike chimed in quickly. “No other signs of demonic magic!” he said. “Just the lamps.” 

“Still, that’s weird enough to keep it to ourselves right? If it’s demonic stuff again, we can’t bring it to the city guards,” Dustin said. “Let’s see what we can figure out about where Quinn would’ve gone. He might have seen something else, and we can’t let the guards pin it on him if it’s... You know. Demons again.”

The rest of the group was in agreement, but finding out where Quinn could have gone proved to be difficult. Dustin’s character knew him the best, but he rolled poorly in his research checks. Gareth had the highest int and wisdom and the background of having worked in the archives, but once again the dice did them no favors. Eddie chewed on his knuckle and glared at the offending dice, but he couldn’t push himself into giving them any hints they hadn’t earned.

Finally, it was Mike who came up with a new idea. “We should go find Jeff. I mean, Caleb. He’s in the guards, so he’ll be able to tell us where they’ve already looked. 

“Also, I know Quinn because I go to Gaten’s shows,” Jeff added. “And if there’s demonic stuff involved, I’m one of the few people in town who knows the truth.” 

They agreed to loop Caleb in, and the group went to the guard house. They sent in Mike’s character, as he was a former guard, and it didn’t take much convincing for Caleb to join them. Jeff and Eddie exchanged some notes and rolled some dice to figure out how much information he’d gotten from the guards, and thankfully the dice gods smiled up on them this time. He let them look through the reports that had been compiled and come up with a list of places that the guards were looking for Quinn.

Jeff looked thoughtful and held up his dice. “Hey, they haven’t found him yet, right?” 

“That is correct.”

“And we don’t actually want the guards to find him, do we?” He looked at the group. “Like, we know it’s demonic stuff, right? So there are two options. Either Quinn is the source of it, and we need to fight him. We don’t want the guards interfering with a fight, because they can’t learn about the demonic stuff. The king’s men would hunt us down for betraying the secret.”

“Right,” Mike said. “That’s true.”

Jeff continued his reasoning. “And the other option is that he’s an innocent witness to demonic horrors... But the guards are convinced that he’s the killer.” 

“So we need to protect him,” Dustin said.

“And the best way to protect him is to make sure he’s hiding in a place they’re not looking,” said Jeff. “Can I tell which of the places on this list are actually really good places to hide?” 

Eddie pretended to think about it for a minute. “Yeah, you have some idea.” 

“Okay, then can I mess with their system so that the guards lose track of those leads?” 

The rest of the table let out a low cheer and looked at Eddie. He grinned. “Roll me percentiles,” he said, hoping that the score would be high enough to justify it. 

Jeff picked up his dice and shook them dramatically. He let them fall in the middle of the table. The rest of the group leaned in to read the numbers off of them. “Does eighty seven work?” Mike asked excitedly. 

Eddie leaned back in his throne and steepled his fingers. “I’ll allow it,” he said. The group cheered. 

They made their way through checking all the locations that the guards had listed, while also dodging the guards. Eddie had a possible fight with the guards planned out, but once Jeff’s character joined up they were able to use his background to avoid patrols instead.

[ourlittleforever]

Meet Me By Moonlight

Words: 1563

Ship: Millie/Lazav

The scent of fresh roses wafted through the air, and Millie sighed softly. They were sitting on a marble bench in the middle of a gorgeous sunlit park; birds sang, leaves rustled, and they were all alone in this perfect world. 

Except for him.

The mysterious stranger, wearing a leather cloak and smelling of sandalwood and geraniums, manifested from behind a bush. Millie couldn’t ever see his eyes, though sometimes, they swore they caught a cryptic glimmer shining from under the shadow of his hood. His shaggy blond hair hung loose around his scarred chin. The half-elf had wanted so badly to ask if they could remove his hood, just once – but for some reason, their throat closed up whenever they went to ask.

The stranger came closer, and even in a dream, Millie could feel the power reverberating off of him. “My dear girl,” he purred, extending a hand to them. “Walk with me.”

Millie stood, their teacup-length dark blue skirt swishing around their knees. The stranger’s hands were calloused and warm to the touch, and he squeezed their dainty little hand in his as he led them down a pathway lined with pink and white roses. 

The stranger plucked a white rose from one of the bushes and turned to Millie, placing it behind their ear. “There.” His lips curled into a sly smile beneath the shadows, and Millie couldn’t stop themself from leaning against him slightly. He was a blazing fire, and they were a fledgling moth, completely drawn into him. 

“How come I never get to see you outside of dreams?” Millie asked as he led them further down the path.

“I’m a busy person,” he replied nonchalantly.

“But you make time to see me in dreams,” the half-elf said, glancing up at him curiously. “What are you doing right now? Are you awake?”

“Hard to say.”

“You could be a little more forthright.” 

“That’s beyond my nature, kisa.”

Millie tried not to roll their eyes. This stranger, charming as he was, disliked when Millie behaved impolitely, or like a brat. And being an impolite brat included pressing him too hard for information, or outwardly disapproving of his mercurial, whimsical speech. 

“Though…” the stranger began, stopping in his tracks. A clearing had opened before the two, with a white fountain in the middle. He tugged Millie’s hand slightly, urging them forward. The sky had begun to darken. Even in dreams, the stranger distorted all sense of reality. 

“Though what?” Millie asked, trying to keep their tone even, mild.

“I want to see you. I want you to see me.”

Millie’s heart nearly leapt from their chest. “Really? Where? When?”

“Patience,” he chided, and Millie deflated a bit. “In the Tenth District, in Precinct Five – where the light of the full moon first hits Ravnica – that’s where you’ll find me.”

Another riddle. Still, Millie tried to be cheerful. He wanted to meet them – really meet them! And if they were being honest, someone putting in the effort to court them in their dream was more than could be said for any past crush or failed fling. The half-elf grinned in spite of themself. “I’ll find you,” they said.

“I know you will.” The stranger tipped their chin up with one finger, and Millie saw that mystical glimmer under his good once more.

Then, they awoke.

—

Days of research at the Ismeri Library had led Millie to this place: Dinrova Heights. The half-elf pulled their plaid overcoat tighter around their body. The night was clear and chilly; the full moon cast deep shadows over the streets. Millie knew they were in Dimir territory, but they hoped their mysterious paramour was watching out for them.

Still, the Dimir weren’t all bad – during the Invasion, Millie had helped a few agents out with healing spells, fresh food, and a bed to sleep in, and in turn, the agent had kept the Phyrexians at bay. Perhaps they were safe here, regardless of the stranger’s influence. 

The sign at the front of the building came into sharp focus.

WELCOME TO THE DIMIR PUBLIC OFFICES. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEATH OR LOSS OF PROPERTY. BASEMENT OFF-LIMITS.

That was inviting.

The Dimir were thought to be destroyed during the invasion, but anyone with half a brain knew better. Some of the lights in the Dinrova building were still on; the building itself was in decent shape, all things considered. A few windows had been boarded up, but the majority just had the blinds tightly shut, save for a few busybodies working furiously in the upper echelons.

Millie stepped inside the building, where a soft buzz marked their entrance. The lobby was seemingly empty, but the half-elf got the feeling that they were being watched. Suddenly, they were acutely aware they may have walked right into a trap – all in the name of romance, like an idiot. 

The door swung shut behind them, and the Selesnya cleric swallowed hard. Nowhere to go but forward, they thought, setting their shoulders and marching to the elevator.

The elevator creaked open at their approach, and it seemed the entirety of Dinrova was inviting them further in. Millie stepped onto the rickety elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. The elevator dinged, the sound slightly distorted. The lift began its ascent, and Millie mentally prepared themself for whatever was going to happen next.

After a few moments, the elevator stopped moving, and the doors opened to a penthouse suite. It was lavishly furnished, if a bit dusty. Still, Millie knew this wasn’t what the stranger meant in his riddle, so they pressed forward, cautiously stepping into the apartment. 

Through the kitchen, Millie could see a lush balcony, where moonlit danced on silver brick. The cleric tiptoed over to the door and exited to the terrace.

The terrace’s edges were surrounded by rose bushes adorned with pink and white flowers. This was the place, then! Millie felt a surge of pride as they walked forward. They tried to take a thorough survey of their surroundings, but even with the bright moonlight, it was difficult to make out much. Curse their mother for giving them her human eyes.

Millie was pulled from their thoughts by a soft hum, and they glanced around, their heart picking up speed. They took a cautious step further into the terrace, and then, they felt it: that aura of undeniable, absolute power, followed by the scent of sandalwood and geraniums. At the edge of the balcony, the stranger revealed himself, his leather cloak blown by the breeze.

Somewhere, deep within Millie, a name echoed: Lazav. It was as if his name had been inside them all along, hidden in their bones. 

Beneath the shadows on his face, the stranger smiled.

“Millie,” he said pleasantly, extending his arms. “Come here. My clever girl.”

They obeyed – as if they could do anything else! – and tiptoed over to him, as if they were afraid to shatter this moment. Lazav took their hands in his, and they were just as warm and rough as Millie remembered. It was nearly overwhelming to stand this close to him; he radiated power, more power than Millie had ever witnessed. And he had taken interest in a lowly Selesnyan cleric, nearly abandoned by their own guild for their perceived ineptitude? This was a dream. It had to be. Right?

“I knew you would find me,” Lazav murmured. He tilted their chin up with the side of his pointer finger.

“Can I…” the half-elf’s throat felt dry, but they pressed forward. “Can I see your face?”

Lazav smiled gently. “You have earned it, haven’t you?”

Millie reached up and took his hood off, and they gasped. He was quite handsome, especially now that they could see his entire face. His blond hair had a lovely sheen in the moonlight, and his irises were like pure black ink. Crows’ feet crinkled up beside his eyes, and deep laugh lines framed his lips. The half-elf’s face warmed. This was their stranger? How had they gotten so lucky?

Lazav leaned closed, and Millie closed their eyes, allowing him to fill their senses completely. When he kissed them, it felt like they were falling through a starlit void, all other sensations melting away, replaced by him and him alone. Briefly, Millie wondered if they were dying; how else could they feel so close to heaven?

Millie followed Lazav’s lips as he pulled away, and the cloaked man chuckled. When Millie stood on their tiptoes to try and kiss him again, Lazav grabbed their cheeks in one hand, his thumb and fingers squishing the soft skin. 

The half-elf couldn't help but pout, to which Lazav laughed, and Millie couldn't tell if they were more furious at or desperate for him. “Oh, poor thing,” Lazav cooed, his voice soft yet mocking. He pulled Millie's face a little closer but refused to kiss them again, and smirked at their neediness. “Am I breaking your heart?”

When Millie didn't reply, he finally leaned close again, allowing his lips to grace theirs. “There,” he said when he pulled back. “That's better, isn't it?”

The half-elf nodded dreamily. “I found you,” they mumbled, more to themself than him, still dazed by his kiss. 

“You did. Now, you have me…” Lazav held them flush against his chest. “And I have you.”

What a wonderful thing, to be his.