kimchicuddles

[kimchicuddles]

Relaxation vs Dissociation...

Thank you for all your support on Patreon! You can see all recent comics posted there, along with the behind the scenes process, outtakes, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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Is it relaxation or dissociation?

Dissociation is a defense mechanism, and can even be life saving,

but is not a sustainable strategy for ongoing stress.

When we are relaxing, we are HERE,

and when we are dissociating we are split apart to AVOID being here.

Relaxation is often followed by clarity, 

while dissociation is often followed by confusion, 

or even memory gaps.

To shift from dissociation to relaxation I can ask myself...

What do I feel when I put my hand on my heart and take a deep breath?

What do I notice when I flex my fingers and press my toes on the floor?

[kimchicuddles]

Today is my Hebrew calendar bday AND my due date... but we'll see what happens! Thank you for all your support on Patreon! You can see all recent comics posted there, along with the behind the scenes process, outtakes, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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During childbirth, I needed a kind of endurance that I'd never needed before. What brought me the ability to keep going was the discernment in knowing what to focus my energy and attention on.

The intensity of the moment brought me into a sort of hyperfocus of my surroundings,and in every milli-second when I felt the pain becoming unbearable again I shifted focus onto a new object and named it in my mind..."yellow chair... blue curtain... pink ceiling" This gave me the inner strength to keep going a moment longer.

And because I went through that I have a feeling like I can go through anything. When I become overwhelmed, I can notice the objects in the room I'm in, and it snaps me back into remembering who I am and what I'm capable of.

[kimchicuddles]

Boundaries and Palaces... Thank you for all your support on Patreon! You can see all recent comics posted there, along with the behind the scenes process, outtakes, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/kimchicuddles Text reads:

Sometimes boundaries are too rigid, built like thick, impenetrable walls... "No one can get close enough to hurt me!"

And sometimes boundaries are too porous, shifting to fit whatever comes... "I'm so flexible that nothing can break me!"

But BOTH can chip away at our sense of self worth, leading to confusion, exhaustion, and deeper mistrust.

Healthy boundaries are like strong walls with a drawbridge that comes down at the right times, keeping out what we don't have the capacity to hold at the moment, and letting in what will build a stronger and more vibrant palace.

[kimchicuddles]

Been gestating a lot of different things this past year, and they're ready to come out!

Check out Patreon.com/kimchicuddles for behind the scenes brainstorming and asides

[kimchicuddles]

Been taking me a while to regroup. I appreciate everyone participating in the behind the scenes stuff while I figure out what types of projects I want to be focused on after all this! I'm going to redo a bunch of the tiers on Patreon soon but haven't decided exactly how so I'm open to suggestions: Patreon.com/kimchicuddles And if you're interested in holiday portrait orders there's still time: check out tikvawolf.com/services

[kimchicuddles]

Haven't had power, water, or internet since the hurricane but here's a comic from a motel I evacuated to... Speaking of which, I'm not sure if we even have a house right now so anything helps: Patreon.com/kimchicuddles Venmo.com/tikvawolf text reads:

Living in the mountains, I never thought I'd see my neighbors kayaking across the street with axes to rescue people trapped in attics...

Or a bunny float over on a piece of a fence to the hill we were on...

Everything still feels surreal and confusing in the aftermath while we try to salvage what's left in the muck...

But it's also comforting to see a generation of kids who grew up on the idea of "looking for the helpers" becoming the helpers.

[kimchicuddles]

RelationSHIPS... There's a hurricane a'brewin' and I think the flooding streets outside my door may have inspired the direction this one went lol. Anyway, hope all y'all are staying dry literally and figuratively! And thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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I used to pathologize the parts of me that knew a relationship was a bad fit, thinking that my lack of peace was a flaw within my own psyche that needed more healing...

And now that I'm used to being in a relationship that IS a good fit, it's become clear that no degree of inner work can create a compatibility that isn't actually there.

But because I've put so much effort into trying to rescue sinking 'ships, navigating the tiny storms that still happen within a good match seems much easier than it might have been if it was my first time at sea.

[kimchicuddles]

How do we measure "success"? I may not be the right person to ask... But thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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My first major manic episode was right after a traumatic breakup. A year later, I made a 15-foot long painting to make sense of the experience, and displayed it in a group with other aspiring artists.

A visiting long-time professional painter offered this helpful critique...

"Ugh this is just ART THERAPY and you're NEVER going to make it as a commercial artist"

And maybe he was right. I've turned down many lucrative opportunities since then, in attempts to reach more towards sanity than success... though in continuing to use my art to process my own emotions, it seems that the thing in my heart pointing me back home has also been a compass for others as well...

And even though prioritizing that peace may have stood in the way of traditional "success", finding balance within the storm of my mind has felt like a pretty massive achievement

[kimchicuddles]

Recovering penguin, current foodface. This was fun to make 5000 years ago (or whenever I made this) and it's fun to notice how much of a penguin I'm NOT anymore lol. Like I still have ambition, but I'm not forcing myself to constantly run on empty for the sake of it anymore, and so grateful for that. If you're a penguin, go have a glass of water ❤

[kimchicuddles]

I know a lot of people on "my team" disagree with me about this, but I really do think that there's a beautiful spark of humanity within everyone, even the people who it seems want me to die. And maybe I'll never connect with it in everyone, but it's important to me to at least look for it...

Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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It's interesting to me how often criticisms people have about "the other side" sound completely identical to each other...

(both thinking) "what an intolerant, miserable, brainwashed person!! If only they were open-minded like ME!"

But I wonder if we looked beneath all our strategies (and the symbols we use to represent them), how often the core is actually a shared hope for humanity... And I wonder how we can reach towards that, to lift each other up?

[kimchicuddles]

"I know what you REALLY mean!" Thank you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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"Every time you say XYZ, you're actually telling people (vaguely related negative thing)"

Well we can't regulate people's speech patterns just by patting each other on the back about our shared, unchecked assumptions about them...

SO MUCH impacts communication styles, including different types of education, cultural backgrounds, and brain chemistry... (Cooperative overlap is a sign of trust and respect!) (Deeply offended by the interruption!)

So when I hear something that sounds strange to me, I ask clarifying questions rather than assume I already know what they "REALLY mean"

[kimchicuddles]

I was thinking about the things that change over time, and the things that remain the same. I wrote this one 10 years ago, and I'm amused that it's one of the few from that time period that still resonates with me. If I made a "best of" collection today, this is one I'd keep in it. It's been a while since I started this comic so I'm curious how you've changed over time, what your ideals where then (and now), and if the relationship ideals you envisioned for yourself 10 years ago are still the same.

[kimchicuddles]

Ha, I don't remember what I was struggling with when I made this one but I think my internal conversations have become a lot more chill overall... Thank you so much for supporting my work!!! Keep up with behind the scenes and special perks on patreon.com/kimchicuddles (you can also leave me a one time donation / tip / bday present on venmo @ venmo.com/tikvawolf

[kimchicuddles]

How does love grow in the heart garden?

Thank you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles text reads:

Our hearts are given a shared garden, but we need to plant and nurture the seeds together instead of just sit in the dirt and complain to each other about the lack of fruit

[kimchicuddles]

You don't need a therapist to do art therapy Thank you so much for supporting my work!

patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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Art can be a powerful tool in knowing yourself 

when you're blocked from fully knowing yourself.

When your brain is stubborn and overly invested in strategies that aren't actually good for you, 

the truth still slips out in artwork, inviting you in whispers to develop new patterns...

Over time, I've let my body and heart feel what my brain wouldn't let me see (upfront) 

And some might call that healing,

But I think of it more as just embracing the wisdom offered to me through my pen.

[kimchicuddles]

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I've been thinking about the difference between unboundaried love and unconditional love, because people often think they are the same thing.

Unconditional love is not a decision to harm myself in its name.

Unconditional love is a sigh of relief in a warm, soft bed.

Love requires strong healthy boundaries in order to flourish and grow,

and unconditional love is able to bloom in that well-tended garden.

Unconditional love knows that my heart beats on its own,

and is so grateful for you to exist in rhythm with it.

Unboundaried love is different, coming from a panicked child deep in me.

Unboundaried love is a desperate breath in a room of thinning air, 

squelching the flame of unconditional love 

and replacing it with, I NEED, I NEED.

Unboundaried love is a fear that my heart will stop beating without you,

because I have forgotten where I end and you begin.

[kimchicuddles]

If you miss some of the comics on your insta/fb feeds, you'll be able to see ALL the new ones on patreon (as a regular patron or FREE subscriber)! Here's some stickers I'm working on for packages and downloads, and some behind the scenes brainstorming :) Join the fun!

patreon.com/kimchicuddles