#myself. /neg

[absolutelyzoned]

im gonna talk about some of my personal shit here feel free to ignore ❗💪🔥🔥 there might be triggering stuff in here i dint know what but yeagh scroll past if you dont wanna read avout me issues

gonna be honest i fuckinf hate being alive sometimes just because no one (my family) actually teues to help me with anything like they just point shit out and make fun of me for doing things i vsnt control. like im always told "you can't control what other people do but you can always choose how you react!!" no i fucking can't??? i can't make myself not get annoyed by every little sound and i can't deal with constant talking over each other and all the fucking noise because they genuinely make me want to die . that sounds really fucking dramatic i know but i cant help it?? i used to bite an scream and scratch my brothers when i was younger because they were making noises i didn't like just to annoy me and it was my fault because "i could have asked nicely" or "they're not hurting anyone" but i csbt do that anymore because im not a fucking kid anymore and ive been punished for "being mean" and shit like that so many times to the point where i have to resort to cutting myself and scratching my fucking skin off because i can't control the way other people act and no one fucking listens when i say that it really bothers me . abd that's just NOISES dude. i get mad so fucking easily over "small" things that are out of my control but i literally can't help it . and i can't do anything about it cause like. i just can't. which is why i hurt myself, but when i do that and im not careful my mom finds out and only punishes me more and makes it seem like its all my fault and im just being dramatic. but when i DO try to talk about things im either just shoved off or met with "mhm" and "oh. okay" and its like they dont even fucking care. like why were you shocked when i told you ivr tried to kill myself??? okay actually what the fuck is wrong with me maybe i am just being dramatic

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[gffa]

Disney, hire me as your Attachment Advisor, I will shove so many George Lucas quotes at your producers and writers, I will shove so many context-laden clips from the movies and TCW at your creatives, I will make powerpoint essays about how it's more Buddhist-aligned, not Attachment Theory-aligned, I will cite literally every time attachment has ever been discussed by Lucas AND in the show itself and show you that it's always aligned with fear, possessive feelings, and selfishness, I will do this work for you for free, I can even literally just point you to my Jedi Citations collection, DISNEY, HIRE ME AS YOUR ATTACHMENT ADVISOR, I CAN HELP YOU.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Out of sight, out of - wait.

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[scared2d3ath]

★† Type 0 Negative †★

[heybaetae]

taehyung bothering loving yeontan cr. namuspromised

[theenbyroiderer]

Finally started on the embroidered center part of my moss wall project. Been house sitting for my mum and thus existing in internet-free limbo for a while, so you get some progress pics all at once now that I have a spot of internet.

Also, wth am I doing full cover turkey stitch again? I should know better. Like the effect of the words emerging from the moss though.

[ajwalkerartblog]

them!!! they!!!!!

[palmtreepwr]

ok on a more serious note this is actually crazy and im fully aware this is a hoyo game, so yes, "what were you expecting" is a valid statement but holy shit this happening AGAIN is just frustrating and a huge slap in the face. how are you going to take inspiration from a culture that is incredibly diverse and broad with its people, and make the characters that mirror these individuals the color of my fucking palm... come through rare beauty shade 140c

[raining-its-pouring]

Five Pebbles is so funny. Shoutout to characters who learn to prioritize compassion but still have the same deep-rooted self-actualization and self-worth issues they always had. Shoutout to characters who use compassion as a bludgeon to hurt themselves with under the guise of self-sacrifice. Shoutout to the guilt that drives one to heap blame upon themself until they feel the only way to atone is through punishment. That’s just as much about inflicting misery upon yourself as it is about helping the person you hurt. Get therapy king.

[hoofpeet]

Potentially weird habit but. When I get really fixated on an oc/blorbo or whatever I get embarrassed thinking cringey shit "In front of" them. Like ah fuck I was cringe in front of my imaginary fursona. shit

[feketeribizli]

she cut her hair 😔

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I’m going to be so hot this year but more than that I’m going to be so intentional w my time

[aropride]

[sleepsucks]