#my-wallflower-soul

[ma-lark-ey]

thinking about how simon probably started to read with baz whatever he was reading, and baz is a big classic lit nerd so they probably wind up reading Frankenstein.

And they both become DEEPLY connected to the book in EXTREMELY different ways.

Baz is struck by the novel because of the inherent way Creature longs for belonging but is shunned by society for factors out of his control, features he had no say in. Baz is struck by the inherent loss in autonomy in the Creature’s existence, the loneliness of it all.

Simon is struck by the bitterness of being rejected and cast aside by the one who made you. By the way society scolds the Creature for acting the exact ways they conditioned him to behave. He’s fixated on the way that The Creature is shamed for acting humane, and shamed for acting monstrous, and shamed for acting at all. Completely reviled by his creator, despite trying at all costs to be desired. How in the Creature’s own words, Frankenstein is God and he is forced to be both Adam and Satan at once.

i think they always debrief on the novels and what they thought the most about. And they sit and argue about Frankenstein for HOURS. On Victor, on Creature, on the family, on if any character can be redeemed or forgiven.

And after they talk in circles for weeks, Baz picks up two copies the Great Gatsby and they do it all over again, because it’s their funny little bonding thing.

[exhaled-spirals]

« When I think back on the year 1915, it seems to me that I still hear my friends tell me despondently: "I can't think of anything else! I can't read, I can't work, or find useful distractions (...), I only ruminate about our times, incessantly, until I'm nauseated (...). I've just had two hours of liberty—there was a time when I would have offered them to Tolstoy or Pascal. Today I read about [the war], or European colonial methods; issues that are entirely beyond my reach, but how to think of anything else?"

And perhaps we shouldn't strive to think of anything else; the point is not to turn our backs on our times, but to consider them calmly and thoughtfully. (...) It may be that the philosophy which absorbs you leaves no room for indulgence. Perhaps you feel yourself full of bitterness and rancour towards your fellow men, perhaps you have made up your mind to see in their activities nothing but greed and selfishness. (...) Do not be too eager to prove yourself right! Above everything, do not rejoice in being right in so dismal a fashion. (...) My only ambition is to beg the world to look for anything which can lighten the present and future distress of mankind, to find what interests the soul in a life burdened with troubles and disillusionments, to honour more than ever the faithful and imperishable resources of our inner life. (...)

The storm rages on, the events escalate, worsen, never cease. Never have they seemed more complex, more severe, more demanding. More dangerous. Wherever we turn, an opinion holds up its head and vehemently solicits our belief. (...) Our convictions, our certainties, are at each other's throats. (...) Yet mankind, even in these terrible hours, is only seeking happiness. Men have set off to conquer happiness, clutching in their hands the tools which will forever destroy it. (...) The wrong direction the world has taken is so obvious, so cruel, so vast (...)

Regardless, I would suggest not to lose hope—so long as a single wallflower still opens, in April, over the ruins of the world. Like algae, like mosses, like these laborious lichens which attach to the very ruins their infinite need for happiness, we will find joy in our present affliction and we will grow it, like a wind-battered plant in the parched soil of a wilted world. »

— Georges Duhamel, La Possession du monde (translation mine) Written in 1917 as he worked as an army surgeon.

[shiftthemoon]

THINGS YOUR DRS REMIND ME OF ✷ sunlight, or moonlight?

✺ TABLE OF CONTENTS :

harry potter dr. fantastic beasts dr. percy jackson dr. fame dr. mermaid dr. f1 driver dr. httyd dr. game of thrones dr. hunger games dr. marvel dr. spider-man + spiderverse dr. marauders era dr. arcane dr. vampire dr. pirate dr.

psssst!!! post's layout was ib hrrtshape!! my fav mootie ever,, ♡

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ harry potter dr.

your hogwarts reality feels like rainy afternoons, where clouds cling to the sky like an unspoken promise. it’s libraries that smell of leather and parchment, the kind where you breathe in and suddenly remember things you’ve never lived.

• it reminds me of the soft hum of the cranberries’ “dreams” or the low ache in radiohead’s “exit music (for a film).”

• it feels like the gothic spires of edinburgh, dark green scarves blowing in the wind, and the cold stone streets of york.

• movies like dead poets society and stardust carry the same weight, that blend of whimsy and melancholy, where magic isn’t just magic—it’s rebellion, it’s survival.

• this dr smells like earl grey tea, sharp with bergamot, and the flickering glow of a candle dripping wax onto an old oak desk. it’s virgo sun with scorpio moon energy: structured, mysterious, aching with purpose.

• autumn is your season—cool winds, warm fires, and leaves crackling underfoot.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ fantastic beasts & where to find them dr.

this dr is gold filigree and vintage maps, the kind you get lost in, only to discover yourself in the borders. it’s the delicate art of understanding things bigger than you—creatures, love, alchemy.

• it’s the nostalgic drawl of jeff buckley’s “hallelujah” or fleetwood mac’s “the chain,” songs that sound like they were written by ancient souls.

• feels like london, fog rolling off the thames at dawn, or somewhere quieter, like oxford or canterbury, where history whispers to you in cobblestone cracks.

• watch the theory of everything or midnight in paris, for that subtle sense of chasing something you’ll never quite touch but will die trying to understand.

• it smells like leather gloves and ink-stained fingers. it feels like cancer venus — taurus mars — gemini mercury energy: tender, protective, but a little guarded.

• winter. always winter. the kind of cold that bites, but you endure it because it reminds you you’re alive.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ percy jackson dr.

camp half-blood hums like cicadas at twilight, drenched in summer heat and the salt of the sea. it’s friendship forged in battle, love found between cracks in the earth.

• this dr is nirvana’s “come as you are” and smashing pumpkins’ “1979.” chaotic, nostalgic, but alive.

• it’s greece in all its ancient glory—the ruins of delphi, the waves crashing at the cliffs of santorini. but it’s also the rugged coastlines of california, where myths could hide in the spray of the pacific.

• the movies the perks of being a wallflower and the goonies echo this vibe: coming-of-age stories tied with adventure and heartache.

• it’s that faint copper smell of blood and the earthy scent of olive trees. sagittarius rising — aquarius mercury — aries mars energy: reckless, bold, chasing freedom with no map in hand.

• summer. long days, wild nights, golden sunsets.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ fame dr.

this dr is glitter in your veins, like electricity is the only thing keeping you moving. it’s the hum of the spotlight, the chaos of dreams colliding with reality.

• this one is björk’s “human behaviour” and radiohead’s “high and dry.” a little experimental, a little tragic, but undeniably iconic.

• it’s new york city, obviously—broadway lights cutting through the smoke, or maybe los angeles, a city burning with ambition.

• black swan and whiplash—these movies carry the same brutal hunger, the obsession that eats you alive but makes it all worth it.

• it smells like sweat and perfume and cigarette smoke, all blending together under flashing lights. aries moon — leo sun — gemini venus energy: fiery, intense, unapologetically raw.

• spring—the season of beginnings, of things growing, of chasing what could be.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ mermaid dr.

this dr feels like the ocean’s lullaby, where the waves carry secrets and the moon pulls your heart like a tide. it’s otherworldly and yet familiar, like a dream you wake up from, still tasting salt on your lips.

• it sounds like enya’s “sail away” or the cure’s “lullaby.” haunting, ethereal, but grounding.

• the turquoise waters of the maldives, or the dark, stormy coasts of cornwall, where cliffs meet an endless horizon.

• the shape of water and ponyo—love stories where the sea breathes life into forgotten places.

• it’s the smell of saltwater and seaweed, the sting of ocean spray against your cheeks. pisces sun & neptune — taurus moon energy: dreamy, fluid, a little lost but beautifully so.

• late summer, early autumn—those blurry in-between days when the air holds onto its warmth just a little longer.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ f1 driver dr.

your f1 dr feels like adrenaline in your veins, the roar of engines, and the wind whipping against your face. it’s speed, competition, but also the camaraderie of shared obsession.

• it sounds like oasis’ “champagne supernova” and the killers’ “all these things that i’ve done.” songs that echo triumph, heartbreak, and everything in between.

• monaco glitters in this dr: yachts anchored in the harbor, the narrow streets drenched in sunlight. but it’s also the neon-soaked nights of singapore and the deserts of bahrain, where the air hums with tension.

• movies like rush and ford v ferrari capture the heart of this dr—rivalries, passion, and the pursuit of perfection.

• it smells like burnt rubber, sweat, and the metallic tang of engines. aries sun — capricorn mars — aquarius uranus energy: fiercely competitive, always chasing the next thrill.

• summer, specifically those late august days when the air is electric with possibility.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ how to train your dragon dr.

your how to train your dragon dr is wind-tossed hair, wild laughter, and the freedom of flying. it’s the untamed beauty of a world that doesn’t quite exist but should.

• it’s muse’s “starlight” and florence + the machine’s “dog days are over.” songs that feel like they could lift you into the clouds.

• it smells like the briny ocean, dragon scales warmed by the sun, and the smoky scent of campfires.

• the cliffs and fjords of norway, the volcanic shores of iceland—this dr is rugged and alive, filled with places where magic hides in the landscape.

• movies like spirit: stallion of the cimarron and brave echo this vibe: freedom, connection, and the push against expectations.

• it feels like sagittarius moon & jupiter — aquarius moon energy: wild-hearted, always exploring, always yearning for more.

• spring, where the world blooms and feels untamed, uncharted, and full of life.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ game of thrones dr.

your game of thrones dr is fire and ice, betrayal and loyalty, the sharp edge of power balanced with the fragility of hope. it’s a world where survival is its own form of poetry.

• it’s joy division’s “atmosphere” and led zeppelin’s “stairway to heaven.” haunting and raw, filled with the weight of kingdoms rising and falling.

• the ancient castles of scotland, the desolate beauty of the sahara, the twisting streets of dubrovnik—places where history feels alive, where whispers of power still linger.

• movies like gladiator and kingdom of heaven hold the same pulse: grand, epic, and dripping in drama.

• it smells like blood, snow, and the faint sweetness of wine. scorpio rising — capricorn mars & mercury energy: intense, strategic, magnetic, but dangerous if crossed.

• winter—long, harsh, and unforgiving, yet filled with moments of beauty that steal your breath.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ hunger games dr.

your hunger games dr is survival carved into your bones, rebellion written in the ashes of the world. it’s the quiet rage of the oppressed turned into a wildfire.

• it’s nine inch nails’ “hurt” and linkin park’s “in the end.” desperate, raw, and relentless, but with a thread of hope.

• the forests of appalachia, the industrial grit of detroit, the sprawling deserts of utah—it’s a patchwork of places where survival feels elemental.

• movies like children of men and the road share this dr’s heart: bleak and brutal, but deeply human.

• it smells like damp earth, gunpowder, and the acrid scent of fire. capricorn mars — virgo venus — leo rising energy: unrelenting, ambitious, and forged in hardship.

• autumn, when the air turns cold, and the trees burn with color, reminding you that beauty exists even in endings.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ marvel dr.

your marvel dr is the blur of action and humanity, larger-than-life stakes grounded in the intimacy of love, loss, and choice. it’s heroes who bleed and villains who cry.

• it’s u2’s “with or without you” and audioslave’s “like a stone.” powerful, aching, and utterly cinematic.

• new york city pulses through this dr: the skyline glowing at night, the chaos of people, the hidden corners where stories unfold.

• movies like the dark knight and logan carry the same weight: gritty, emotional, and built on moral gray areas.

• it smells like leather jackets, rain-slick streets, and the metallic tang of battle. aquarius sun — leo mars — gemini moon energy: visionary, a little distant, always fighting for the greater good.

• spring and fall—transitional seasons that feel like the calm before and after the storm.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ spider-man + spiderverse dr.

your spiderverse dr feels like swinging between skyscrapers, the air electric with possibility and purpose. it’s chaos and connection, a kaleidoscope of choices and the weight of responsibility.

• it’s the strokes’ “reptilia” and gorillaz’s “feel good inc.”—gritty, pulsing, and full of edge.

• the streets of brooklyn, the neon haze of tokyo, or the rooftops of chicago, where the city is a character all its own.

• movies like blade runner 2049 and tron: legacy carry this vibe: sleek, emotional, and larger than life.

• it smells like rain on pavement, fresh paint on a graffiti wall, and the ozone tang of lightning. aquarius mercury — gemini mars — libra moon energy: inventive, unconventional, and sharp-witted.

• spring—when the world starts to bloom again, full of fresh starts and untold stories.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ marauders era dr.

your marauders dr is all late-night laughter and whispered secrets, rebellion scrawled in ink and moonlight. it’s the ache of youth, of moments that feel infinite but are fleeting.

• it’s pink floyd’s “wish you were here” and fleetwood mac’s “rhiannon.” bittersweet, timeless, full of soul.

• feels like the hidden alleys of london, the rolling hills of wales, or the misty forests of the scottish highlands.

• movies like the breakfast club and dead poets society carry this dr’s energy—complicated friendships, rebellion, and nostalgia for a time that might not have been perfect but was yours.

• it smells like old books, cigarette smoke, and the faint sweetness of butterbeer. libra moon — cancer sun — pisces venus energy: romantic, thoughtful, and deeply tied to relationships.

• autumn, when the world feels crisp, nostalgic, and alive with change.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ arcane dr.

your arcane dr is a masterpiece of contradictions—gritty streets juxtaposed with glittering innovation. it’s a world of broken dreams and endless ambition.

• it’s placebo’s “every you every me” and radiohead’s “no surprises.” raw, haunting, and brimming with unspoken emotion.

• zaun is the heart of this dr: neon lights cutting through the smoke, the underbelly of progress. piltover looms above, all gold and power.

• movies like v for vendetta and ghost in the shell share this vibe: revolutionary, futuristic, and deeply human.

• it smells like oil, soot, and metallic sparks. pluto & mars in aquarius — scorpio moon energy: transformative, innovative, and unapologetically intense.

• winter—the cold amplifies the tension, the longing for warmth, the fight for survival.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ vampire dr.

your vampire dr is velvet and shadows, the allure of eternity balanced with the weight of it. it’s beauty that bites, darkness that whispers, and immortality that aches.

• it’s bauhaus’ “bela lugosi’s dead” and depeche mode’s “enjoy the silence.” moody, sensual, and timeless.

• feels like prague at midnight, the foggy streets of victorian london, or the endless forests of transylvania.

• movies like interview with the vampire and crimson peak embody this dr—hauntingly beautiful, filled with danger and longing.

• it smells like old wine, wax-dripping candles, and the iron tang of blood. scorpio sun — libra venus — pisces mercury energy: intense, magnetic, and deeply tied to the unseen.

• late autumn, when the world is cold and still, and the nights stretch on forever.

⊹₊ ✰ ⋆ NOW READING ┋ pirate dr.

your pirate dr is salt spray in your hair, the endless expanse of the horizon, and the reckless freedom of a life untethered. it’s treasure maps and tempestuous seas, loyalty forged in fire.

• it’s the rolling stones’ “paint it black” and led zeppelin’s “immigrant song.” wild, untamed, and unapologetic.

• the caribbean islands, the rocky cliffs of ireland, or the misty coasts of the azores—where the ocean feels infinite and alive.

• movies like pirates of the caribbean: the curse of the black pearl and master and commander echo this dr: swashbuckling adventure, grit, and loyalty.

• it smells like saltwater, rum, and the wood of a well-worn ship. sagittarius mars — pisces rising — aries sun energy: adventurous, daring, and always chasing the next horizon.

• summer, especially in the golden haze of dusk, when the ocean glows like molten gold.

[dewdropdinosaur]

Transparent Heart

Human! Alastor x Ghost Reader Summary:Alastor needs a new source of inspiration. Nothing sparks that bloodlust anymore, nothing can satiate the growing desires he has for more and more carnage. One night, while all a party with Mimzy, he meets Y/N. Or does he? The sweet woman seems innocent enough but in reality she is a ghost, a being of chaos gilded by a fasle innocence. His new muse may be undead but it sure sparks some life in him. Warnings: Undead reader, smut, mentions of P in V, Alastor is a warning in and of himself, Demi-sexual Alastor, non-sex repulsed. MNDI, 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Pt 2

Celebrating 500+ followers!! Omg, everyone you cannont imagine my gratitude for this community. I started writing in January and just how much love and support I have recieved is mind-blowing. All of you are freaking amazing and I hope you know I adore you, my lovelies!

Alastor leaned against the dark wall of the burlesque club, his brown eyes scanning the vibrant display of sinful transgression before him, yet feeling none of it. The room pulsed with music, laughter, and the clink of champagne glasses, but none of it stirred him. He should have been thrilled—there were scantily clad dancers twirling and shimmying on stage, Mimzy was in normal form, charming the crowd with her flamboyant flair, and every inch of the room screamed excess. Innocent souls, ripe for the taking. A little southern charm here, a lingering touch there, a knife sliting their throat in a delectable squish that would send shocks of pleasure down his spine. It was a celebration, a riot of decadence that should have made his very soul hum with delight. 

But alas, the radio host. Felt nothing.

Once upon a time, this would have been his kind of night. The heady energy of sin, the delicious tang of chaos, the joy of being surrounded by souls desperate for something—anything—to fill the emptiness inside them. So desperate would they be, to fall into his greedy hands and he would grace them with the gift of death so sweet. It used to fill him with such vigor, such delight, like a fine wine sliding down his throat. But now, it was all just noise. Annoying noise.

The laughter? Grating. The champagne? Flat. The dancers? Nothing more than fleeting distractions. He watched as Mimzy flirted with a particularly tipsy patron, her laughter like tinkling bells, but it was all so... tiresome. 

He tilted his head slightly, and his sharp grin never wavered, but the sparkle in his eyes had dimmed. It was all a game, wasn’t it? A never-ending circus of false joy. No matter how many times he twisted the dance floor or how many souls he swirled into his web, it was all the same. Hollow. 

The feeling had come upon him suddenly a few weeks ago, stuck in a never-ending cycle of ambivalence. Nothing stirred the oh-so-normal bloodlust within his chest anymore. Nothing excited him to enjoy the chase, the screams. 

Alastor’s fingers tapped rhythmically against his glass, his gaze shifting to the stage as the dancers performed their latest number. It was all so… mundane. The bright lights, the glitter, the exaggerated performances—they meant nothing to him anymore. Maybe this is how he died, being a wallflower.

He exhaled softly, his voice barely rising above the cacophony. “Mimzy, darling,” he said, his tone languid, “do you ever get the feeling that all this glorious spectacle is just a bit... tedious?” 

Mimzy, amid her own little charade, paused and shot him a knowing look, her eyes twinkling with a touch of amusement. “Oh, Alastor,” she said, grinning wide. “You sound like you have been alive for centuries? Enjoy a bit of decadence. Pour some whiskey, put on some jazz!”

Alastor’s smile didn’t falter; a shadow passed across his expression. “Maybe that’s the problem, my dear. I’ve danced this dance for far too long.” 

And somewhere, deep in the pit of his chest, a voice whispered: Is there anything left to live for?

In the middle of his mid-but young-life crisis, a soft tap planted itself on his shoulder. His body became rigid, a dangerous flash passing through his eyes at the unwelcome contact. It was not entirely unpleasant, cold and soft. Strange, considering he hated all touch but one could suppose he had too much to drink. 

Alastor turned slowly to face the guilty party, only to find a petite woman standing before him. Pale, no doubt, almost sickly looking if her eyes hadn’t been the faintest shade of amber that brought the only sense of warmth to her face. Her hair was a light blonde, or was it gray? He couldn’t tell. All he knew was that this little pet had imposed themselves—

“If you are done staring, mister, may I continue my question?” 

Alastor blinked, his sharp gaze narrowing slightly. The soft tap had already left a prickling sensation on the back of his neck, and now this woman, audacious and unsettling, dared to speak to him as if he were some mere pedestrian. 

"What question?" His voice was smooth but cold, each syllable wrapped in the chill of his natural cynicism. It wasn’t the first time someone had approached him on a whim, but there was something different about this one. Something off-kilter, like a mismatched note in a song—one that lingered just long enough to be more than a fleeting annoyance.

The woman tilted her head slightly, the pale light accentuating the faint shadows beneath her eyes. There was something about her eyes, too—lifeless but sharp as a hawk’s. She seemed entirely unperturbed by his cold demeanor. 

"I was wondering," she began, her voice soft yet steady, "if you intend to stand like a wallflower all night or become something worth my time?"

Alastor’s eyebrows twitched, and his lips curled into something akin to a grin, though it was closer to a wolf’s smirk than anything resembling warmth. A question like that—drenched in disrespect, a dance with death itself. Was she…playing with him?

“Is that so?” His voice was laced with amusement, yet his eyes remained icy. “And what would a fragile little thing like yourself do with finding me interesting?”

The woman didn’t flinch. Instead, she tilted her head just slightly more, a ghost of a smile appearing at the corner of her lips. “I’ve seen it,” she murmured. “How you find no pleasure in this display around us. It’s no stranger to you and I am not a stranger to it either. I see you come in here and revel every week until recently. Why is that?

For a moment, Alastor was silent. He had heard words like these before, though they usually came from those who lacked any real understanding of the ruthless, visceral nature of existence. But something about her tone, so deliberate, so knowing, stirred something within him. Something deep. Why would someone he had never met, though who apparently watched him, ask such a personal question?

“Well aren’t you a brazen one, my dear. I would suppose, these events have just lost their…usefulness.”

“Oh, because you kill people?” 

He hadn’t expected that at all. How did she know? How could he play this off? A shadow passed over his gaze, darkened as he looked down at the calm woman. She was baffling…but certainly, the most intriguing thing he had interacted with in a while. He hadn’t expected anyone—let alone a delicate little creature like her—to speak with such clarity about the one thing he’d devoted his entire being to understanding: death. But then again, he realized, perhaps this little conversation had more teeth than he’d first assumed. 

Grabbing her wrist discreetly but with a vice hold, he dragged his newfound muse into an empty room on the other end of the club. Throwing her in the room, he assumed her frail stature might cause her to fall, but instead, she simply looked like she floated across the floor. Strange. 

He chuckled, but the sound was dry, devoid of humor. “You’re quite the curious thing,” he said, his eyes glinting as he regarded her more closely. “Now, how does a little thing like you, make such a bold assumption as that?”

“Well, I have seen you,” she replied simply, her gaze meeting his with a directness that was both unnerving and intoxicating. “You are quite clean with it I must say, well, except for the eating part…but then again I guess everyone has their preferences.”

Alastor was taken aback. A brief flicker of something like appreciation passed through his mind, quickly followed by annoyance. Was she toying with him? Was this an act, some mask for her true fragility? 

For a moment, he considered walking away, dismissing her as yet another oddity to forget. But the words she spoke lingered in his thoughts, gnawing at him like a restless hunger.

"What about you, Alastor?" she continued, her voice softening, almost as though she were coaxing him, "Do you fight it? The lack of bloodlust you’re feeling? Or do you surrender to the inevitable?"

Her words hung in the air between them, and the sound of her quiet challenge echoed in Alastor’s mind long after she’d spoken. He exhaled sharply through his nose, irritation flashing across his features. This woman had a way of pushing him in ways he didn’t particularly enjoy. 

And yet…

He growled lowly, stalking up to her with an imposing stance. Just kill her now, kill the witness. All his problems would go away, he could go back to standing on that stupid wall, drinking that flat champagne.

He glanced at her, a flicker of something approaching amusement in his eyes. Or…or he could have the most fun he had in weeks.

 "I suppose I don't have the luxury of surrender," he said, his tone colder now, sharper. "I’ve long since learned that life is more… interesting when you push against its edges. Though, I confess, there’s something rather invigorating about someone who understands the dance with death as well as you do."

She smiled this time a full, knowing grin. “I thought you’d understand,” she said with quiet certainty, leaning closer just enough for him to catch the scent of something oddly familiar—something sharp, like iron or fresh rain. “The world doesn’t stop spinning just because we want to rest. We can’t simply wait for the end to come. Until it gets here. No, Alastor, it’s all about taking it—grabbing hold of that final moment and making it yours.”

At first, Alastor found himself irritated by her relentless inquiries, the audacity with which she wove her words into the space between them. He considered walking away several times, but then, a strange thing happened.

Then, the irritation faded.

The longer they spoke, the more he felt the edges of his personality, drawn out by her words, her very presence. She was no weakling, no frightened soul. No, this woman was a kindred spirit of sorts—a creature of the abyss who spoke the language he had long since mastered.

But he supposed, it had gone on long enough. Even those whom he found mildly amusing had their time to go. And now, this woman had come to hers. Walking over to a desk in the room, he pulled the drawer open with the mask of preparing himself a drink. This was his typical room…to engage in his activities. As the woman faced away from him, staring blankly at the wall with what seemed ignorance, he approached. The blade was hidden deftly behind his back. 

“Well, my dear, as pleasant as this has been, I think it’s time we end this little game of ours.”

Raising the blade to her throat, he made the slice with a quickness that came with practiced ease. 

Only sweet, rich, red blood did not spill from her body for him to lap with reckless abandon. Her head remained intact, the blade leaving no mark. Backing up in mild shock, Alastor’s eyes widened in what he could only call horrific intrigue. How much had he had to drink?!

“Now, that was rather a rude thing to do.” The woman’s head turned…180 degrees, backward facing him. A small smirk painting to face. And then, her body started to float, righting itself to face him fully as he glided in the air to meet him. Her cold and frail fingers came to caress the edge of his cheek with a gentleness that surprised him. 

“Why would you do that to me, Al? I thought we were friends.” The woman….or ghost woman started to shed alligator tears. Her voice was a high-pitched wail that irked him to no end. 

“What…what are you?”

That caused the woman to pause, eyes sharpening as she looked at him with a look so fierce he felt like his own knife had pierced his heart. 

“I am Y/N. I…I am the ghost that lives here.” 

Now that would have caused him to howl in laughter had he not seen the spectacle before him. Y/N….the famed ghost story Mimzy would tell to scare customers into scam ghost tours of the club after hours for an extra buck. But here she was…in the flesh?

“I thought you knew me Alastor. I thought you understood me. Understood the darkness–” Y/N brought her hand back to his cheek, trailing it slowly, even seductively down his chest to the buttons of his vest. He felt a strange pull to the being, confusingly enraptured by her now. The transparent but uniquely cold nature of her touch sent shivers down his spine, in a way he almost did not mind. 

Where had this feeling come from? Had…had his interest in the conversation been actual interest in the woman before him? He usually never felt this way about anyone. Alastor’s lips parted in an attempt to refute his thoughts but nothing came out. 

Y/N’s hand lingered on his chest, her fingers brushing against the fabric of his vest with calculated precision. Her touch was cold, yet there was an undeniable warmth to the way it ignited something in him—something he couldn't name. Alastor's usual composure began to slip, the confident, omnipotent mask he wore trembling in the presence of this woman.

"You always talk about control, Alastor," she purred, her voice an intoxicating melody that seemed to bypass his usual defenses. "But perhaps you’ve never been in a position where control slips through your fingers, like sand... or, more aptly, like time."

Her words struck him like a thunderclap, rattling his thoughts. Time? Had he been so blind, so consumed by the world of his own making, that he failed to see what was right in front of him? He wasn't sure how to answer, only aware that something was shifting, like a piece of the universe slowly aligning to something he couldn't yet understand.

The smile she gave him was a little too knowing, and he hated it. But more than that, he couldn't seem to hate her—an emotion he had learned to master long ago. For a fleeting moment, her eyes softened, not in pity, but in a way that unnerved him. She was dangerous, yes, but there was something else there—a depth, a complexity that tugged at him.

“You look so lost, Alastor,” she whispered, leaning in closer, her breath cold against his skin. “Let me guide you..”

Her hand slid down, brushing against his vest, the tips of her fingers brushing the edges of his buttons, slowly popping them open one by one.  Every movement of hers seemed deliberate, calculated. And yet, as if it was just for him. That he was the sole focus of such tender devotions. 

Alastor swallowed, his mind scrambling to form the words to push her away, to reassert his authority. But instead, something inside him relented. He wasn’t sure if it was the warmth of her presence, the pull of her energy, or the simple fact that for the first time in ages, something made him feel alive.

“You think you know me, don’t you?” he said, his voice low, almost... intrigued. “But I assure you, darling, you know nothing.”

“Then let me learn, Alastor,” she whispered, her lips dangerously close to his ear. “Let me see the darkness you keep hidden. Let me understand what makes you... human.”

The word struck him like a jolt of electricity, and for the first time in a long while, Alastor felt something unexplainable deep in his chest. Was it love? Was it obsession? Or was it the terrifying realization that maybe, just maybe, he could understand her too? 

—————————————————————————————————

Clothes lay discarded on the hardwood floor, Alastor’s suit jacket among the heap. His body pressed her bare one flush to the hardwood floor, her lips continuing their long and languid assault on his own.

 All that remained was Alastor in a white button-up and boxers, his clothed member rutting onto her bare cunt. Moaning into the kiss, he tentatively brought his hands up to find themselves settling at the nape of the Y/N’s neck. Experimentally giving the roots a small tug, a growl emitted from Alastor’s lips, enjoying the way she shivered before him. 

It was almost like her form wasn’t there at all, that her body was transparent. Though, at this moment, he did not question the physics of how he could touch a ghost. 

Laid bare before his hungry eyes and desires, his cock came to be inside Y/N with one thrust; cunt wet and ready for him like it was made for this purpose. Like she was gifted to him by the divine to hold him close in the darkness and relish in his desires. How the serial killer, had come to be with a being who could not be killed. The one thing he could never kill. The irony wasn’t lost on him, though not his main idea at the moment. 

Conceptually, rationally, by all means of logic, Alastor knew it would never work. Except, in this very moment, cock pounding into her wet and inviting cunt, he couldn’t help but pray to whatever power was listening that something would come to fruition. 

Her moans were sweet on his ears, like southern sweetwater molasses taffy. The kinda of stuff you just can’t get enough of. With every rut of his hips into hers, those delicious noises would fall from her parted pale lips. Now, those were the kind of noises he would search for in the middle of the night. Screams, still scream, but those he wrought by giving her the utmost pleasure his mortal form could apply. 

All for her. His little ghost. 

[holylulusworld]

Darkness and Sunshine

Summary: Bucky hurts you deeply.

@buckybarnesevents „Hot Bucky Summer 2024”: Week 10 “Shhhhhhhhh…”

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader

Warnings: angst, Bucky being a douche, unrequited feelings, BBF trope, unwanted touching (not Bucky), fluff

A/N: The story to this random thot & this poll.

Bucky's POV

She does it again. A quick glance at me, and back to her girly drink. I know she’s interested in being more than my friend’s sister to me, but this can never be.

Just like her drink, she’s too sweet for me.

You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait Until that day I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

I’m the whiskey-neat kind of guy. Bitter and dark. Rough and violently. My soul is black, just like the coffee I drink.

She’s the sunshine, but I am the darkness. A beautiful but vulnerable flower like her could never grow in my shadow. She would wither away and die before she got the chance to bloom.

I don’t know when, or how I changed her mind about me. I was only ever the dangerous guy her brother met to get drunk, and punch people. How often she scolded her brother for being friends with me, I don’t know.

But somehow, over the years she changed her mind. Now she looks at me like a lovesick puppy, and I cannot bear it. Not because I do not wish for her to be mine. It’s the opposite. I cannot let her in. If I do, I’d paint a target on her back.

Damnit, she bites her sweet lips while stealing another glance at me. I sigh deeply and sip at my drink. Tonight, I must show her that a goody in two shoes can never be the woman by my side. As much as it pains me, it has to be done.

“Buck, what’s wrong with you?” Her brother asks, clueless as ever. He’s not the smartest when it comes to acknowledging love, or other people’s feelings. “Something wrong?”

It has to be done. I tell myself, repeating the words like a mantra. Steve, my best friend since childhood worriedly looks at her brother. He knows about Y/N’s feelings for me, and that I must extinguish the flame I ignited in her heart.

Sadly, this can only be done by crushing her heart.

“Bucky, maybe there’s another way?” Steve gets up when I do. He wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me for a second. “You should reconsider your decision. Peggy is sweet too. Just give it a try.”

I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

“No—” I harshly free my metal wrist from Steve’s grasp. He means well, I know he does, but I cannot allow Y/N to fall for me even more. I’m a dangerous man, deadly even. I won’t steal her light nor let anyone hurt her even if I have to be the one breaking her heart.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So, I turn away from my friend and his disappointed look. Away from her brother. Away from the future fate held for me to protect what could’ve been mine.

I nod at the girls I hired for tonight, and they immediately take my offered arms. I breathe in and out before walking in Y/N’s direction.

The girls begin to chat, and as I’m about to walk past Y/N I say, "Luckily I found you ladies. All the girls at this place are so plain and boring.” I look directly at Y/N and scrunch my nose up in disgust. “Some are only allowed at my club because their big brother begged me to let them come.”

My heart chatters as a pained wail leaves Y/N’s lips. Her eyes water and her lips tremble. Those soft lips I yearned to kiss for so long. Forsaken to me now.

Still, there’s something in her eyes. A sliver of hope I must kill.

“I can’t believe a wallflower like her believes she can be anything but a pity fuck to me. If it was up to me, I’d make sure she stays away from me,” I hate myself the moment she drops the glass in her hands to run out of my club. I shattered her world and broke her heart.

I watch the door slam shut, telling myself it’s for the best.

Your POV

You run, as fast as you can. It doesn’t matter that your brother drove you to the club, or that you forgot your jacket.

Bucky just confirmed your worst fear. He hates everything about you. From your plain outfit to your character. All the things he said, are true. You’re not like the girls hanging on his arms tonight.

All you had was a glimmer of hope that maybe, he sees more in a woman but a pretty face and good looks.

Your whole world got shattered when he said all those awful things.

You know now that James Buchanan Barnes is just like every other guy.

It’s almost two months later that Bucky sees you again. That day, you glance his way. Your eyes sadden and you immediately walk the other way. The flowers you wanted to buy long forgotten you almost run away from Bucky to not feel the hurting all over again.

His eyes follow you until you’re only a tiny dot in the distance. Bucky shakes his head and sighs deeply. This is not what he intended to do.

He not only lost a good friend that night but hurt you so deeply that you’re scared to even look his way.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath when Steve steps out of the flower shop. He carries a huge bouquet of roses for Peggy.

“What’s wrong, Buck?” Steve follows his friend’s eyes, frowning. “What happened?”

“She ran away.” He shrugs, shoulders slumping. “I didn’t want her to be scared of me, Steve. Only to make sure she looks for someone better.”

Hiding in your bedroom you ignore your ringing phone once again. You assume it’s your brother, or maybe your friend Tasha trying to get you to go out.

No way you will go out there, facing the world ever again. Bucky embarrassed you in public, in front of your brother and all his friends. You’ll never recover from this.

Rolling to your side you grab your phone from the nightstand to silence it. For today, you will shut yourself out from the world.

Another month later Bucky is fuming. Not because of you, and your presence at his club. No, not at all. Your sweet smile, and the cute sundress you’re wearing make his heart flutter.

The person making his blood boil is your date. John Walker - the man trying to get under Bucky's skin for years. That bastard brought you here for a date. A date at Bucky’s club.

Walker did this on purpose. Bucky is sure about it. He doesn’t know how his concurrent found out that he likes you, but he did. Now you’re sitting at a table with Walker, looking at the untouched drink in your hands.

Vodka. Bucky knows you hate vodka when it’s neat. You like the sweet drinks, the girly drinks he laughs about.

“What’s wrong?” Steve regrets his question the moment John Walker dares to put his hand on your thigh.

You tense, and uncomfortable shift in your seat. Maybe this date wasn’t the best idea. You agreed to go out with John, and even willingly entered Bucky’s club to show the very man that you moved on. (At least you like to tell yourself so.)

“Relax, and smile for me,” John’s voice hardens. This is his chance to get back at Bucky Barnes, and he won’t miss it. “You look like you’re at a funeral. Smile, you’re having the honor to be my date.”

Biting your tongue, you look anywhere but at John. He’s not as nice as you believed he was. Tonight, he showed his true face.

His hand creeps higher and under your dress. You’re about to stop his hand from slipping between your legs when he’s suddenly gone.

John makes a gurgling noise because Bucky dragged him off his chair from behind. He struggles against Bucky’s iron grip. Bucky has his metal arm wrapped around John’s throat, choking your date.

“You don’t touch her ever again,” Bucky growls in John’s ear. “And she doesn’t drink vodka, you piece of shit.”

“Buck—” Steve laughs watching John tug at Bucky’s metal arm. “I see you’ve got it handled.” He holds out his hand for you, murmuring your name. “Come with me, Y/N. This is not for you to see.”

“She’s having a strawberry daiquiri and get her some chicken parmesan. I bet that bastard didn’t order food for her,” Bucky grunts while keeping John in a chokehold.

Your heart flutters. Bucky remembered your favorite drink and food. But wait. He hurt you and broke your heart. Why would he attack your date?

“I should go home,” you slip off the chair and grab your purse. “Never call me again John.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but John gives you an angry look.

“You’ll regret fucking with me, missy.”

“You wish she’d fuck with you, but she won’t,” Bucky slams John’s head onto the table, making you shriek. Steve brings you into his arms and presses your face into his chest.

“Let’s get you to the VIP area, Y/N. You don’t want to see what happens next…”

The moment you follow Steve, Bucky smirks. He leans over John, whispering in his ear.

““Shhhhhhhhh…, don't make a scene, Walker," Bucky snarls. "If you even look her way ever again, I’ll break every bone in your body. And then, I’ll put you back together only to break them again.”

“Why am I here?” You nervously glance at Bucky. He sits next to you, pointing at the food Steve got for you. “I should head home.”

“Doll.” You whimper at the pet name. “I’m sorry…for tonight and the other night,” he grabs your hand, holding it tightly. “I tried to protect you from myself. You’re too sweet for me. A ray of sunshine and I’m…”

“A big grump,” you giggle. “I know you’re a grump.”

Bucky chuckles. You still don’t understand that he’s not a good man. He killed people, and his profession is far from legal. “Doll, you don’t understand. I got a gun and…”

Your eyes drop to his crotch. Bucky’s eyes widen when you lean closer to get a better look at his lap. “Why do you call your cock a gun?”

He laughs. Bucky wholeheartedly laughs for the first time in years.

“What I tried to tell you is that I’m a criminal with a gun. You’re a sweet girl, and too good for me. I wanted to keep you away from me, and said all those things.”

“So, you hurt me to make me leave?” You sniffle. “Why? If you don’t even like me.”

“I like you too much, doll,” he whispers in your ear, hot breath fanning over your skin. “That’s the problem.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Bucky laughs. Not even the toughest criminals dared to call James Buchanan Barnes an idiot. “You’ve got balls, Y/N. No one ever called me an idiot.”

“You deserve that much,” you pull away and cross your arms over your chest. “What kind of man does things like that? How could you do this to me? I didn’t leave my place for weeks, hiding in my bedroom.”

“I wanted to keep you safe, only for you to walk right into John Walker’s trap.” He huffs. “I guess to keep you safe, I must keep you around from now on…”

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[awkwardandeccentric]

We need to talk about how Stolas doesn’t have a single jealous bone in his body.

My birb husband went to a party with 100+ people who all have had sex with Blitz. The only negative emotions he feels are annoyance at having been invited at all and uncomfortable because he’s such a wallflower. But he doesn’t have any feeling of possessiveness towards Blitz. Blitz is his own person, they were never exclusive, and Stolas has figured out a long time ago that Blitz likes being a huge slut. He even has fun because he doesn’t view any of them as competition or like they took something that belongs to him.

But Blitz will growl and bark like a dog at the IDEA that ANYONE would be sexually attracted to birb husband. ‘No! Bird brain is mine! MINE!’

It’s such an interesting detail because Stolas has contradictory levels of maturity. He’s simultaneously emotionally stunted and a wise soul. But he is mature enough to know you can’t own another person and jealousy is beneath him. Despite all Blitz’s proclamations, Stolas never viewed him as an object. But Blitz views Stolas as his. He was ready to start knawing at Better Than Blitzø guy’s leg for kissing his birb. Jealousy is inherently objectifying. ‘You’re trying to take this thing that belongs to me.’

So…more projection, maybe?

Stolas is also mature enough to know he doesn’t love Blitz. He’s always said he ‘cares deeply’ for Blitz. Because that awful night at Ozzie’s reminded him that he doesn’t actually know this guy all that well. He wants to know this guy…but he doesn’t. Blitz is the one who brings up love. Blitz is the one who is surprised when Stolas is a talented singer. Blitz is the one who didn’t know that Stolas can drink most people under the table.

Idk. Just something noteworthy to me. Another example of reversed expectations. The rich, privileged kid never getting weird about Blitz having 100+ sexual partners (and those are only the people who showed up) and Blitz, the poor scrappy one frothing at the mouth when someone touches his birb.

[rosesnbooks]

Gemini placements

disclaimer: i am not a professional, these are just my observations that i have accumulated over the years

🌀sun in gemini-i think that people usually form strong opinions about them. definitely not the type to be seen as wallflowers. they are naturally curious and they're either shy or like to shine in the spotlight, depends on other placements. whenever they speak, people listen to them and often find them charming and funny. i think their personalities can seem intense which is why they're not for everybody, but they're not easy to read. they are adaptable and knowledgable about things that interest them. if they like to talk to you about their thoughts and ideas, you must be special to them. honestly, they have no patience for people who try to waste their time and act fake around them. they can conceal their personalities around those they do not trust.

🧞‍♀️moon in gemini-they have a lot on their minds and they feel the best when they process their emotions verbally, whether through writing or talking to someone. they probably enjoy talking to those closest to them about their emotions, but some tend to have better personal "enlightenment" when they process things in writing. their memory is amazing and they are very logical. some try to dissect their emotions outloud, while others try to supress them. they can talk about deep issues and then joke around in a matter of seconds, they're quite adaptable. they can get stuck in their head and overthink things which leads to a lot of negative emotions that they wanted to avoid in the first place. can be insensitive sometimes when it comes to analyzing other's emotions because they approach it from a logical perspective because they want to be reasonable, which may sometimes backfire or provide as good advice. unsurprisingly, they are good with words. they are emotionally connected to their moms. their moms might have been youthful, curious, and adaptable when they were little.

💠rising/ascendant in gemini-they are, in my opinion, hard to notice! they definitely have a youthful appearance and attitude as many claim, but it's not easy to spot them because of their adaptability, unless you really observe them in the wild among different types of people lol. i'll repeat this quality a lot in this post, but they too are very curious. some may not talk much, but once you ask them about something they love, you'll see that sparkle in their eyes and the yapper will awake. may appear fake while they are trying to see if they like you, but they're just protecting themselves. if they want to create a fake persona tho, they can do it easily. they explore their identities often and try to figure out who they are, and may get confused because they change rapidly. they express themselves with their entire body lmao, especially when they are enjoying themselves. can get strong energy outbursts. they are not big fans of routine and following the rules strictly. they have a specific style most of the time, but they like to surprise themselves from time to time, to the point of confusing others haha

🐦mercury in gemini-they are light-hearted and try not to take things too seriously in life. many like to read and talk with open-minded people and to those with whom they share similar attitudes. they are quick-witted and may not open up easily about their emotions and share their vulnerable side with others, so actually a few people know their true identities. this also gives them an air of mystery. the charm is really charming with this placement lol. very creative as well. but when they finally open up about their emotions and thoughts, they reveal their complex and beautiful souls. they also choose their words carefully whenever they talk about serious matters. they are calculated and observant, even when they seem relaxed...they are processing everything others say and do, as well as their surroundings in general

💙venus in gemini-so, so flirty, even when that's not their intention. they like people that seem interesting and talkative. they seek out good conversationalists. they want partners who are always ready do adapt and explore, and those who are fearful of changes/passive are not appealing to them. unless they find someone that fits their criteria, makes them laugh and feel excited, they won't settle down and they'll seek excitement in flings. romance and love seem so fun to them so they want to enjoy themselves while exploring these concepts. they can be immature at times and a bit superficial. humor is of utmost importance! they need it in their daily lives and relationships with others. they remind me of young love, especially high school and college. they are good with people, so they are often adored. freedom and space: a must for them. without it, they feel suffocated and become bolters.

💿mars in gemini-they have so much energy and they sometimes don't know what to do with it. they cannot sit still for the life of them. they can have mood swings. they experience stress or anxiety but they have a highly adaptable nature and manage to do everything eventually. they are often good at different things, whether in natural sciences or more creative fields. not all of them look super youthful but their energy appears young and lively. and they serve visuals! their personal style and face card are truly amazing. they are really intelligent and quick with their responses, and they need mental stimulation most of the time. they come up with many ideas and creative solutions. it may be challenging for them to find something they'll stick with for a long time because they crave change. they have to be careful with handling distractions!! careers that don't allow them enough passion, mental stimulation, and flexibility literally drain their energy.

🔵jupiter in gemini-their communication skills get them far in life! they process a lot of information without difficulties and they are fun to be around. once again, they also love to express themselves verbally, so writing or in general having to perform among people is something they are good at. they like to meet different people that catch their interest, but they try to surround themselves with those who don't take life too seriously. this is especially true for those who may struggle with their stress and overthinking tendencies, so they like those who make them laugh and relax. their memory is excellent, to the degree that some remember dates of even minor events, especially if they are related to people they had a connection with at one point. music also triggers a lot of memories

🫐saturn in gemini-they have so much to say but there are some things holding them back, whether it is related to speech impediments or general insecurity, they keep a lot to themselves. that's why they may be harder to figure out. make no mistake, they are very clever and have different talents. they can be good with practical things in life and technology. they also pressure themselves to be as confident, practical/powerful as possible, but they need to embrace their curious and flexible side. following a routine is not their favorite thing to do and they absolutely despise small talk and want to delve into deeper topics. they have a strong desire for excelling in their communication skills

©rosesnbooks

[hazelira]

ENHYPEN Masterlists

Baby Series Masterlist

To read ENHA Friendships, go follow my other acc @luvilists

my perm taglist<3 <- request here

My Tumblr Music Playlist:

O T 7 A Heartfelt Encounter at 7/11

HEESEUNG

Waiting for a Dream

Eternal Moonlight | @bywons event

blue - keshi

Beneath the Cold

anchored in silence

Wrong Person, Right Time - All 5 Parts

JAY

Healing Hearts, Bringing Souls

drunk - keshi

rope to nowhere

the weight we share (no pic yet)

quiet afternoons

only for you

JAKE

The Girl Before The One

right here - keshi

in the eyes of a wallflower

one more day of you

frosted glass

when love feels like goodbye

SUNGHOON

Echoes of a Once Heartbeat

Soaring Skies & Hidden :)s | inspired by @dearhooonie (no pic yet)

like i need u - keshi

𝓁𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑒 (no pic yet)

second chances (no pic yet)

in the quiet of your touch (no pic yet)

yours, finally

enough | requested by @leilamaybelyla

SUNOO

After The One

I’m not cute! | @luvilists

atlas - keshi

memories of sunshine (no pic yet)

𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 (no pic yet)

Hard to Love | requested by @leilamaybelyla

JUNGWON

Lost in the What Ifs

beside you - keshi (no pic yet)

fragile embrace (no pic yet)

fainted confessions

almost lovers, forgotten promises

never again | requested by anonymous

NI-KI

Through the Storm

skeletons - keshi

花吐き病 -> hanahaki disease (no pic yet)

healing wounds

at least, once

If you liked my stories, reblogging, liking and adding comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

©hazelira, all work is written by me, do not copy or repost.

[the-fiction-witch]

The Event

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut

I stood as I frequently did, in the corner of the impressive room doing my best to be a lady observing my etiquette rules while remaining a wallflower not desiring anyone's attention. I avoided people as if they harboured an epidemic, I dodged everyone's gazes in the hope they would reciprocate such a gesture and avoid my own in turn. But people scrutinised me, my hair, my dress, my nails, all of which would be deemed unbecoming of a lady such as myself but I despised everything about how I dressed tonight, and wanted nothing more than to be back in my grungy overalls. I noticed often glares and gossip among themselves at my expense, I loathed being any type of subject and a subject of hypothesis was the worst thing to me. With a look, a smile, and a wrong-placed word everyone commences to make assumptions about you. 

They all knew I was getting too old to be unmarried, but I had little intention to do so, I disliked marriage even as a concept, but I knew the talk my dislike would stir in the general people of Port Victory, 

I disregarded such whispers and sipped my drink, my one prize for attending this mess, but I heard a voice which caused me to roll my eyes and my very soul hurt, if it had been socially acceptable and not caused a scene chitchatted over the bridge tables for the next year, I would have tossed my crystal glass and its contents into the face that homed that voice maybe the glass makes its way into his skin, I’d like to see him smirk and sweet talk himself out of that one, 

"Good evening Miss Y/l/n" He flirtatiously smiled as he joined my wall, 

"Good evening Dr Dawkins" I Glared darting for a path to try to escape this exchange,

"Another drink?"

"No thank you,"

“Aww, why not?”

“I don’t trust you.” I snapped,

“You trust anyone here?”

“...No,”

“Then I’m the most trustworthy here,” he winked, 

“By a thin grace Doctor,” I answered, 

“Fair enough” He chuckled, "Anyway, do exonerate myself for that of my so bolt words miss Y/l/n, despite that It has reached my engagement of yourselves contemporary negligence to chaperone, accompany let alone arrive to particular occurrences well documented on the social calendar.”

I grimaced at him, “You proud of yourself?”

“I admit a little.” He expressed with a cocky smile, “Took me bloody hours to remember that lot.” 

“Well, Pray tell, myself potentially desire yourself to maintain determined memorised vocabulary and phrasing, of aforesaid salutations and deteriorations, succeeding pleasantries of the day, as it rightly is the appropriate, reasonable and accurate manner in which we as guests and courtesies conveyed to articulate the manner of our specialities,” I smirked back, 

He looked at me like I’d just spoken Aramaic to him, “I ain’t that good.” He laughed as he sipped his drink. “There a translation of all that?”

“You best get good. It’s how we're meant to talk to each other.”

“Meant to doesn’t mean we have to.” 

“You wish to supply chatter to the masses?”

“I couldn’t give a toss,” he said, 

"Silence is the prevention of all talk, Dr Dawkins" I told him, 

"Indeed it is, seldom seen in this day" he laughed, “However, whether we talk or not even just me being stood here is enough to draw talk.”

“You’re correct. So you should go.”

“I think I’ll stay.”

“Why?”

“Give their boring arse’s something to talk about tonight after dinner.”

“I suppose,”

“Accept that we are talked about you and I both, we are both watched like hawks don’t you think bells toll when they see us together.” 

“It’s the sort of bells that worry me.”

“As do they worry me.” he said softly he took my hand and kissed it, “But I don’t want that to stop me from talking to a pretty girl like you y/n.”

“That’s sweet Jack, but I do not want to fuel talk,” 

"I understand, unmarried girl in conversation with an unmarried man. Unchaperoned, unwatched, alone in a quiet corner, Humm… they’d be rife with theories about us," he smirked,

"Precisely," I nodded, “And such theories are unwanted.”

“But not preventable Y/n.”

“Shouldn’t you be busy Jack?” I asked changing the subject, 

“Busy?”

“An Unmarried man such as yourself, attending such an event full of eligible ladies.”

“Eligible ladies? Oh, leave of it y/n.”

“I won’t, you know how they speak of you.”

“Humm Call me a siron, mutton monger…”

“The Bachelor confirmed a thousand times over.”

“Say’s the spinster,” he smirked, 

“So? Should one not be at least attempting to be seen as changing it? To be at least faking that you are talking to pretty young things?”

"I am,"

"You need a new wife Jack. They’ll talk forever if you don’t" I told him, “You don’t want them to call you a Bachelor forever do you?”

“I don’t know, I rather like it.” He said, “Then shouldn’t you be doing the rounds? Trying to trap yourself in a husband to make them stop calling you a spinster?”

“I rather like it, a certain pride in… remaining free and uncaptured so long.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, I feel that way too.” He nodded, 

“But… don’t you long for some pretty girl to warm your bed?”

“I have no issues in that regard, and we both know it.” He smirked his hand slipping behind my dress to move close and pinch my ass,

“Jack!” I whispered, 

“And I know you don’t have any… longing need for some pretty boy to warm your bed.”

“I do not know what you are referring to.” I answered playfully, 

“No?” he smirked moving closer to whisper, “Then I beseech you to articulate, whomsoever’s a faultless, flawless, adorable, precious, titillating, salacious, alluring, seductive, salacious, curved ass” He whispered spanking my ass with each adjective that left his lips, “That ensured did myself observe so elegantly, gracefully and exquisitely clambering herself to escape my bed at daylight?” 

“Perhaps one of our pretty girls,” I smirked back trying not to give myself away,

“So you're telling me I lift this dress? I won’t see the red sore cheeks, the bruising nail marks, the tender bite I left on… that girl, last night?” 

“Well, a man could never lift a lady's dress in such a public social event,” I said, 

“Yeah? Try me beautiful,” he smirked, his hand as sneakily as possible finding its way under my dress and he immediately stroked my ass, “Humm, right where I left you.” He smirked running his fingers across his bite mark from last night, even if I had to hide my excitement and my pain as his hand back on my red raw skin. “You wanna be prim and proper you go ahead Y/n, I have something to entertain me.” He smirked his hand giving my ass a firm spank before moving down between my legs, he stroked his fingers across my labia gathering wetness on his fingers, I shot him a glare but he merely smirked back at me, as his index and a middle finger found there way inside me, I gasped but did my best to hide my blushing face, looking across this high social event knowing the sort of trouble we’d be in if anyone saw us like this. The etiquette rules don’t even allow hand-holding and kissing in public let alone him shoving his fingers inside me. And I know him well enough to know this would not be the end of it, and he’d have me bent over the bar table if he could just to make a point. But he was merciless with me not helped by the smirk on his face only growing the longer this went on amused by my flustered reaction and attempts to keep up appearances. 

“Uhhh Jack-” I gasped, unable to hold back,

“Humm… think how it would fuel talk Y/n. I can hear it now, young ladies talking over bridge tables of the latest social event, discussing us. Asking one another if they too saw the devilish sight in a dark consorted corner of the party.” He growled in my ear close enough I could feel his breath, “How the charming captivating, ravishing, exquisite, Spinster Miss Y/l/n was attended panting and lamenting in the epicentre of the event, how all those in attendance at the event bore witness to her gagging the name of the bachelor doctor Dawkins, as his appendages where caught inside her most intimate place, pleasuring her, and satisfying her, so considerably that she commenced to trickle down her legs form a puddle on the newly waxed floor.” 

“I do hope you mean your fingers Jack.”

“We both know I don’t.” He growled kissing my jaw, “Now, either stand in front of me, bend over and be a good quiet little girl or let’s get out of here and I’ll raw dog you in the carriage instead?”

I forced his hand away quickly before I made more noise, “Carriage. Five minutes.” I demanded, going to fetch my coat. 

[ninguitar]

movie/show/media in general recs pleaseeee 🙏

stoppp ouhhh bless ur soul i love giving recs😭😭😭😭😭💔💔 ok anyw. these r js media that i like to consume :3

shows;

001. yellowjackets

002. brooklyn 99 (my fav show. ultimate fav show idc !!! one of the BEST sitcoms hands down.)

003. shameless (us ver.)

004. gilmore girls

005. sweet home (eunyoo my baefy💔💔)

006. weak hero class 1

007. when i fly towards you (CUTEST coming of age show ever. basically js the typical love story of highschoolers.)

008. breaking bad (jesse and jane 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ouuuhh i sobbed)

010. the oc

011. nana

movies/films;

001. 500 days of summer (had me bawling btw.)

002. 10 things i hate about you

003. the perks of being a wallflower

004. waves 2019

005. bottoms

006. when marnie was there

007. challengers 2024

008. scream 1 thru scream 6

others;

001. the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all

002. ham on rye, written by charles bukowski

003. born a crime, written by trevor noah

004. the outsiders, written by s.e. hilton

005. operation true love

[sturniolosiphone]

“I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive”

ִֶ 𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

⋆˚࿔ aaliyah 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

matt sturniolo˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚emergency intercom ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚harry styles˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚tote bags˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚books˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚gold jewelry˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚slushy noobz ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚charm by clairo ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚matcha˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚the perks of being a wallflower˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚yearning ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚lip liner˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚autumn˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚the color green˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

masterlist . tag list . tag guide.

₊⊹ minors please do not interact. my content is mostly 18+ and im too old to be talking to yall.

₊⊹ we are on tumblr.com talking about three youtubers so i promise it is never that serious - you can afford to be nice.

₊⊹ requests are closed for right now and asks are open

₊⊹i disappear from time to time

dividers by: @issysh3ll

[rangosmango7]

The Cadence of Part-time Poets by @motswolo

Can I just say I don’t think I’ll ever read anything better and I might have to give up fanfiction as a whole; Harry Potter/Marauders fanfiction, anyway, because I dont think I’ve ever read anything so gorgeous— it might be better than The Perks of Being a Wallflower; my favorite book that I’ve only ever read once out of fear that reading it again will push me off a ledge I couldn’t ever come back from.

I will reread The Cadence of Part-time Poets, because I don’t really care about the ledge I’ll get pushed off of— that’s how fucking brilliant it is.

Glorious.

Dramatic review? Maybe. But I’ve found that several people online have stated they stalled on reading the last two chapters because they didn’t want to finish reading it. I’ve never been one to keep myself from reading the ending of any story, especially one I love so much.

That being said, I’m on the last chapter before the epilogue, and I can’t bring myself to start it yet. Not until I stop crying about Remus Lupin and I don’t have work the next day.

I’ll update with an in-depth review (spoilers included) once I finish it, if I can ever bring myself to try to put everything I feel about this work into words.

Before reading, let me give you some advice if you’re like me and (understandably) hesitate before reading a near million-word fanfiction

1. Don’t read it until you’re ready to

It’s a monster. I put off reading it for a year or two and the timing never felt right until now. I couldn’t be more happy that I waited until it was right (it also took me an entire week and a half, which is long for me.

2. Don’t stress over not liking the OCs, because you will— Jesus F. Chopin, I promise you will love the OCs in this fic like nothing else.

Every lovely thing everyone said about Tomny and Tonya? True and wonderful and GLORIOUS I love them so much.

3. It isn’t going to be exactly what you expect it to be—

It’s going to be so much more.

@motswolo , thank you for this. I’m sure you get this all the time, but The Cadence of Part-time Poets touched my soul like nothing else. It made me smile and cry and it made me angry and lovesick and heartbroken and it made me feel understood.

I deal with bi-polar depression, and the way your Remus Lupin thinks makes me feel like I’m reading my own internal monologue. It has me crying and laughing and loving with him.

It revived my love for rock and roll, and Mary Macdonald understood my love for ABBA; Sirius Black, “Bohemian Rhapsody”. You understand my love of music.

I will update this post once I finish these last couple of chapters. For now, I leave you with this screenshot of the comments section that made me laugh.

(disclaimer, neither of the replies are true, but some may still consider this a spoiler, so tread lightly)

motswolo, you charmer, I think I’m half in love with you.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🥧The Love You Spiritually Deserve ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?’

‘Well…

We accept the love we think we deserve.’

‘Can we make them know that they deserve more?’

‘We can try.’

– Charlie asking his teacher in The Perks of Being a Wallflower

SONG for all piles: Coming Home by NCT U

MOVIE for all piles: My Week with Marilyn (2011)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

There is a very special behind-the-scene for this PAC on Patreon. If you’re already subscribed, don’t forget to check the full post ^o^v

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – A Love that Helps You Remember How Precious of a Darling You Are

VIBE: Promise by Jimin

to be in Love with the right person – 2 of Wands

The moment your sweet, sweet Heart recognises the person who’s right for you, baby, it’s all calm sunshine in your world🌤This person has a most peculiar ability to bring back nostalgic senses and memories of what you used to enjoy as a child. These are your Heart’s most honest desires that you might’ve suppressed or avoided to some extent, in exchange for being practical. You live in a world that’s given you reasons to abandon your own dreams in order to become practical and a responsible member of society. In many ways, I see you’ve tried to fit in and follow the expectations of a normal society.

But when you come in touch with the essence of this person who’s just right for you, everything changes. Suddenly, the scales blinding your eyes fall off and now you see the real colours of the world—your world. Literally this person brought your world back from the dead. Something about them rejuvenates your faith in the world you’re innately able to create for yourself. And just like that, you gradually move towards changing small aspects of your everyday Life to manifest a world of your dreams~🌷

You may return to old hobbies—perhaps resume your old piano lessons; you open up your dusty rice cooker recipe books (LOL) and start cooking again; you start singing again or you may finally join that ballet class you’ve always wanted to do when you were a child, irrespective of your age now. This person who’s just the right person for you is truly an angelic Human whose essence brings back peace of mind, Love (first and foremost for yourself), serenity, clarity, and most importantly, a hunger for Life and its endless possibilities🎋

the spiritual Home in your heart – 4 of Cups

I sense that your Soul is incredibly sensitive. You’ve probably come from other realms where the inhabitants are peaceful, and I feel strongly that you’ve often been gardeners and carers of animals in those other lives heheh You’re so spiritually in tune with the moods and sorrows of not only the people around you but also the world in general. You’re the type of person who sees a world that needs healing. You see a world needing more kindness, alas, your Kindness was taken advantage of and spat on. Then you decided to hide away and avoid people as much as possible.

Do you feel like you enjoy the company of animals, plants, and rocks more than Humans? Yeah, you can sense the spirit of non-Human creatures and you find non-Humans to be the gentlest, most understanding creatures. I think you should like to watch Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbour Totoro🐼I personally think you’re the type that would find comfort in a lot of Miyazaki Hayao’s movies because they depict the innocence of children and how they see the world with an eye for adventure. As flawed as they can be, characters in Miyazaki’s movies are understandably human and you desperately want to believe in a world that’s more forgiving like that.

Due to the nature of your emotions, you’ve often had these ebbs and flows of faith in your ability to manifest a world of kindness and gentleness that you’ve always envisioned for yourself. It’s like a painful tug o’ war between your faith in yourself and the world’s pressure for you to conform. But trust me, anybody who makes you question your values, dreams, visions, missions, and goals, are not your people. The right person(s) for you is someone whose heart is so kind and wide that in their embrace you are reminded of everything good that you deserve to see manifest in your own Universe.

up your Self-Love game! – 9 of Pentacles Rx

Ooh, I know you can’t stop admiring this person’s remarkably gorgeous smile~ But do you have any semblance of an idea why your Soul finds them so irresistibly attractive? Your person who lights up your dark horizon is a freaking multitalented King or Queen whose thirst for Life inspires a hidden courage buried deep within your psyche. When you look at them or hear their stories, you can’t help but notice that this is also a flawed human who’s beautifully aware of their own failings and shortcomings, but they work really hard at becoming a nobler version of themselves. A more astonishing expression of what’s truly good about them as a human being, in spite of everything.

Whereas you’ve tried to build an independent Life away from most Humans, this person helps you see that there is still good in trying to believe in Humanity. That there is still hope because after all the world is so big and there are many people in it. I have a feeling your person is able to hold such a positive outlook because they’ve been blessed enough with good company, maybe good family, too. So they naturally have this ability to balance the way they perceive bad people in the world.

I think their people are going to be your people as well. Their friends and family are going to admire you so much and be grateful that you’ve appeared in the Life of your person and even theirs. They are glad you’ve found each other, like they really think you’re good for each other as you’re able to hold Light for each other. You literally heal each other. Your person’s people, too, are going to see you for all the good that you are. A union with this person and their friends and family is going to remind you what a precious and talented darling you really are🧸

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻🧡

remembering your innate goodness – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – A Love that Honours Your Innocent Rose-Tinted Glasses

VIBE: OMG by NewJeans

to be in Love with the right person – Knight of Cups

When your gentle Heart rests in the embrace of the person who’s right for you, you will know, this is a Soulmate. There’s no other explanation. You feel a strong sense of nostalgia, as if having known this person in another dimension. And when you recognise each other, it feels like, ‘Oh hey! I know you! Hmm…’ and your conversation flows so naturally as if catching up with an old, old soul friend~

Being with this person, you want to cuddle all the time. But not the oddly lustful or desperately clingy type. No, no, baby, this is pure, innocent, childlike Love. When your heart is attracted to the person whose Soul resembles your own, it’s pure bliss, comfort, safety. I think you’ll want to have a home with this person. You’ll want to build a home with them that reminds you both of the Home World your Souls came from. It’ll be a lot of fun! Because the person who’s just right for you also has the same fairy-like mind, sense and perception as you.

And holy cow you know what that means—this is someone who’s just as sensitive and considerate as you. They will really honour your rose-tinted glasses and not make you feel infantilised for the innocence you’ve worked hard to maintain. This is someone sweet, gentle, soft-spoken, incredibly polite accompanied by an out-of-place sense of humour, and a little awkward from time to time… depending on situation, I guess🦄

To be in love with the right person… you finally feel truly, genuinely seen for the first time. It feels cosy to not have to explain yourself exhaustively with words that often fail your true meaning🦦

the spiritual Home in your heart – Page of Wands Rx

Unlike most people, you’re not super ambitious or even industrious about most things. Others may perceive you as ‘lazy’ but the truth is you’re an Old Soul that remembers a time when human beings were able to live at a more comfortable pace. You can’t really bring yourself to fit in this new pace—the modern pace—because you think it’s silly that people rush to their graveyards without even stopping to smell the roses. And you want to smell those roses, all the time, you want to always be aware of all the roses and jasmines and lilies.

You can’t think of another way of living your Life. You’re quite stubborn about it because you believe in your own mindset. You’re actually a lot stronger than you may think. If there’s one thing you’re ambitious about, it is to maintain a world of your own aesthetic. I think you’re someone who’s deep down super aware of your birth right to live in a world of beauty. Sometimes you get confused about this whole endeavour because you feel like an alien in this strange world. But one way or another, you hold on to your own values and I think that’s super admirable.

Some of you who are younger may struggle a little bit with boundaries because you’re too kind. You’re really soft, gentle, compassionate and have an ability to welcome anybody who’s tired and weary. But often, people who are hurting and confused about their own place in the world could turn super spiteful towards those who are working on their own dream lives that do not agree with the convention. You really need to be careful with those whose envy has the potential to seep into your morphogenetic field and ruin your manifestations!

You can be super kind and still say no to those whose presence could jeopardise your peace of mind, OK? Also, I think you’ll really find respite in this beautiful playlist on YT, ‘Nakamura Yuriko Songs I Love’, when you feel a bit weary of people~

up your Self-Love game! – 6 of Cups Rx

So first of all, your generosity has a tendency of making you reminisce about the past. You sometimes miss the people who used to be there for you. This could be friends or family members. For some of you, this could even be a past significant other. You have a habit of romanticising pleasant memories you had with people whom you used to care about. This could lead you to a dangerous path of self-sabotage. You may want to sometimes text or call people who genuinely aren’t even deserving of your kindness, gentleness, or care.

To protect yourself, have the courage to completely and utterly burn the bridges to those you know are only acting as parasites in your Life. The way I see it, there really aren’t that many people who can fully understand and accept you the way your Soul Family does. So wait for them and make space for only them. And so, to make space for them, you need to vacant those who don’t belong! Blood is thicker than water? Bullshit. Soul is stronger than blood!

My advice to you is to get a pet instead so you have a company upon whom you can pour your nurture. I know you are somebody who likes to nurture and care for another being. So, this is the best course of action if you haven’t met anybody from your Soul Group🥰If not a pet, a plant works, too. Depends on what you like, really. All in all, know that you are deserving of good company that truly honours your kindness and wouldn’t take advantage of that softness.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💗

remembering your innate goodness – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Love that’s Grateful for the Fact You Were Born At All

VIBE: Kazamidori (Weather Vane) by Sakamoto Maaya

to be in Love with the right person – XI Justice Rx

Okay, you’re totally an Old Soul with an important mission, babe. I’m pretty sure you already know this. If you aren’t that aware of it yet, I’m still sure you’ve always had this feeling like you were born for a greater purpose. Like, no matter what, you just know somebody sent you here to do something amazing… but what exactly? Dunno. You’re just haunted by this feeling of having your time on Earth… timed. ‘I’ve got to hurry!’ So you scurry.

I think you’ve felt incredibly lonely for the most part of your Life on Earth. You’re an alien—actually, you’re an astronaut. Deep inside your psyche, you’ve always had this debilitating realisation of having been torn apart from your real Family. You know that your family on Earth is not your real Family. You don’t even look like them, you feel. All your wants and even value system as a person, not a single thing matches theirs. You’ve always dreamt of travelling the world over to search for your people. Doesn’t matter where; they must be somewhere. Just not anywhere near here.

Of all the piles, yours talks the most about having gone through a massive spiritual purging. At some point in Life you have or will experience this. Like a phoenix dying to itself and be reborn out of its own ashes transforming into something greater than all it’s ever been in the past. When you finally accept your magic—that you’re magic—you realise that you’ve always needed to be your own first love. The day you have/had this epiphany and come to love yourself absolutely fully is/was the day you realise that everything in the world will always be alright so long as you believe in yourself🐾

the spiritual Home in your heart – King of Cups Rx

I think you’re someone who easily falls in love with attractive people, passionate people, kindhearted people, dazzling people, generous people, talented people, and all that stuff. But… that’s all really child’s play. Puppy love, if you wanna be cute. Summer crushes, if you’re casual as fuck. But the truth is, deep, deep, deep, fucking deep somewhere in the most secret corner of your Heart, there is an essence of someone whom you’re meant to reunite with in this incarnation. Damn, you made a promise, OK? That you wouldn’t ever be, EVER, serious with anybody who’s not this person💍

Dang, the day you were born into this world, you were already married🤪You had been proposed to in the spirit realm🎎It simply wouldn’t work if it’s not your person😗And for that, I hope you honour this Love that you’re carrying in your Heart and work on your spiritual development or something, until Destiny (that tricky bitch) unites you both in the physical realm. Babe! It’s worth the wait! This is the ONLY Human on Earth who knows how to embrace all of you with all of the Love you’re so spiritually deserving🥺

A small percentage of you choosing this pile, I feel quite strongly, could decide to become a monk, nun, or any other type of a celibate person who has no business being in a romantic relationship or a sexual union with another living being. This deep Love that you carry around in your Heart is all that fuels you until the day you depart from this world. You’re deeply aware of how short a Human’s existence is and you’re looking forward ever so to the day you breathe your last breath and return to your One & Only who’s always been watching over you from the Higher Realms🎐

up your Self-Love game! – 7 of Wands Rx

With all of the above said, whichever group you resonate with, all of you choosing this pile are, again, haunted by the same feeling of needing to save the world. In a manner of speaking, because you’re an astronaut, it’s true you came here for an important Soul Mission, and for that you could ruminate too much about ways you can develop yourself to ready yourself for the world stage when the time is right. But that’s actually counterintuitive and could make your whole Earth experience miserable.

I know you find it immensely difficult to be Human… even just operating with a Human flesh bag is painful enough. Some of you may even have a chronic illness that’s constantly giving you bodily aches or that you find controlling your movements quite challenging. Perhaps issues with developmental disabilities, reduced/low dexterity, immune system diseases, dyslexia, ADHD, autism (varying spectrum), gender dysphoria, and all sorts of compatibility issues that could make Life on Earth quite unbearable to some.

Compatibility issues here means that your Soul can’t quite adapt to your Earthly body because you’re too advanced or that your Soul originates from a much purer state of being that the tragic density of this dirty Human World causes immense pressure on your whole mental and physical being. And for that, you could struggle a lot with constantly wanting to leave soon. As a way to numb yourself, you could fall into a tendency of wanting to always, constantly, tirelessly, unceasingly working on something, on yourself, as if scurrying for ways to die sooner.

But… babe… you have a place in this world. Slow down a little, allow yourself to breathe, and let the Spirit of the Planet speak its thanks and admiration for all you’ve done for Her.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💚

remembering your innate goodness – Gold Physician (Hippocrates)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Clarity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[fumifooms]

Ok maybe kinda of a weird question you don't have to answer if you don't want to but I've seen some people saying that Chilchuck is canonically misogynistic so, as the Chilchuck especialist, do you have an opinion about that?

Anon you are brave and I love you. Listen if you, person reading this, get peeved or upset when people say Chilchuck might have had not insignificant flaws as a father and husband then probably stop reading here, we will be looking at Chilchuck like a petri dish and defile his pristine allure. Tldr: yes but actually no but really both at the same time aka people & social dynamics are complex and please let your blorbos be flawed. With that said I will be pretty casual and playful if that wasn’t clear already, sorry.

"Aren’t you happy to be in a harem party" "No it’s soul-crushing save me". Toshiro has been drinking his fear women juice since he was young, surrounded by an assassin nanny and her fellow assassin girlies, meanwhile Chilchuck having flashbacks of getting wrung out by his 4 women household…

Waiting on people is something we see he hates doing a couple times throughout canon and extras, here and how he says "it’s not a date" -bless his summer child heart- he frames being slow to get ready as a gendered trait to have? But I can forgive him for this one because honestly the framing of the whole page leans into that, it’s kinda questionable if we’re being highly critical of anything misogynistic or regressive. But it itself is the classic subversive "Women are desirable wallflowers— Wrong! They are a monstrous ruthless force that wears on the mind, body and soul" trope. I don’t fault Kui though, I got giggles from it, it makes sense for everyone’s characters, and Kui has never shied from gendered dynamics in her worldbuilding & characters so it’s not like she’ll write as if sex changes nothing and no one has opinions about it.

Alright alright let’s step back from analyzing this page specifically and get back to the question, is Chilchuck canonically misogynistic? It’s a complex question not because we don’t have hints but because it’s a very black and white answer to give and because misogynistic can be very wide or pretty narrow depending on how the term is applied.

What I would say? Yes, he is, in a realistic way that doesn’t automatically make him a piece of shit, though that doesn’t mean it isn’t uncomfortable or harmful. On the spectrum of misogyny he classifies to me as "It’s in the normalized lighthearted way of being a horny uncle who’s a little too loose about it around the dinner table", he’s a solid "He wants to treat women as pieces of meat and jokes about it but in actuality he’s a gentleman and a family careerman who has a job so he don’t really care about that rn".

Going back to Toshiro’s party, Chilchuck being weird about it being full of women doesn’t even happen only once but TWICE. I made a compilation of every time he’s crass, happens less than you might expect but the overall picture it gives throughout reading the manga is pretty straightforward. Repeatedly he’s shown to be dirty-minded and shown to objectify & sexualize women both lightheartedly and unprompted. They’re a punchline and they’re eye candy and it’s "of COURSE my succubus would be young women, of COURSE women would desire a muscled statue’s [redacted], of COURSE women are sexual beings and of course I am attracted to them".

Dungeon Meshi doesn’t bring up sexuality much and gendered dynamics tend to be more subtle than you’d expect from media in general, so there’s that, but I honestly struggle to think of any character that acts less normal about women existing than him. Like yeah he’s joking but Hien, Benichidori, Inutade and Maizuru were just breathing and doing their jobs. Who else’s misogynistic uhh, that guy working for the shadow governor that licks Cithis’ ear when she’s bound in ropes? The sheer jump from ‘makes demeaning jokes about women’ to ‘assaulter’ between these two, god.

Honestly it does feel odd to me that he’d be kinda demeaning like that about women even in a workplace setting —Chilchuck the union man out of everyone?— but Kui has spoken man idk, think what you will don’t shoot the messenger. It’s not like he’s weird about Namari? I guess he respects her too much- Wait that sounded wrong. Maybe it’s literally just because she and the other women party members are his direct coworkers, in line with his rule and all? But yeah, even if he canonically had a thing for blondes and pretty young women he has managed to only tease Marcille ceaselessly for fun & entertainment and make her hair extra shiny as his shapeshifter, you get a good behavior star there Chilchuck. He complains on waiting for Marcille to get ready in the barometz chapter and the first anime ED but he also does with Laios when he’s late to meet up the party in extras. He constantly pulls on Marcille to get her to safety as if she can’t protect herself but she’s referred to as clumsy a lot so he has that justified reasoning. He constantly berates everyone so no point to make there. He undermines Marcille’s opinions often but it’s because he dislikes mages and elves and idealism. Clearly Chilchuck knows women can be capable and clearly he can have women coworkers (and friends! Again, Namari) without belittling or sexualizing them, clearly he can be normal about women and knows that some of his attitude can be inappropriate. It’s just harmless fun to him, that he keeps for occasional playful banter and taverns and the ‘right’ moods.

And as I mentioned earlier! Chilchuck is also pretty gentlemanly and protective. As always desires vs wants and instinct vs rationality show up as themes. Yes his succubus aka his ideal, the deepest allure he can imagine, is beautiful naked women, but a chapter just before that was the bicorn, all about how faithful and virtuous he is, how his heart’s in the right place. His brain is virtuous but his heart is monkey. My point is that when it counts, aka 90% of the time and when things are serious, we don’t see signs of sexist bias and he treats women well. Often takes on a protector role or at the least takes them seriously, even Benichidori. He doesn’t want to hurt women or thinks they’re insignificant or anything. He’ll give a handkerchief to a woman in need with a slimy face.

Okay okay this is really entering speculation territory but in my own tally, the way he dismissed his wife’s ‘bad mood’ as some meaningless tantrum that he shouldn’t think any more deeply about, him starting out not reaching out to her as a resentful silent treatment, and her getting dissatisfied in the first place enough to leave makes me think he took her for granted and was kinda dismissive of her in general. Marcille’s theorical scenario is hypothetical and factually untrue at least in parts, but if we do follow it, him forgetting he’s out with his wife for once (in the precious counted time he’s home spending time with her) and not paying attention to her all outing, resulting in her being left out of conversations and just an ornament beside him the way she might have felt for a long time as his housewife waiting home for him to come back………

Editing this paragraph in: Okay I don’t know how I missed mentioning this but, when he’s asked why his wife left him, Chilchuck literally point blank thinks that being thought to have cheated on his wife is LESS SHAMEFUL than not knowing the reason why (due to poor communication skills or whatnot). It’s so ridiculous that it can be hard to see beyond it as a gag or twist, but make of this what you will but this is not a great look for his priorities and his view of women especially in regards to toxic masculinity, good lord. When I talk about him having a sense of being entitled to his wife and dismissive of her emotions that’s sort of what I mean. He thinks it’s better for people to think he mistreated his wife and did something terrible than just failed at keeping her affection for reasons he doesn’t grasp. His pride, both in giving her the silent treatment and doing damage control when talking about it to others like Marcille and coworkers, takes priority over their relationship and love.

Half-foots seem to be patriarchal. The last section of this essay’s chapter (not by me!) + combing through its half-foot chapter should give you insight on that if you want. It’s in their patronymic, it’s in the way marriage seems very important especially for women, and it’s in the implied gender roles, being a housewife whose life revolves around raising her husband’s kids and taling care of the family home waiting for her husband who’s out working to come back. I think Chilchuck is a bit a result of his environment and upbringing in that way, that most of the misogyny is internalized and subconscious and passive, it’s taking his wife for granted because not only does she trust her, his most precious person he’s known since he was a kid, but because she’s his wife, his woman, conceptually something that’s unwaveringly devoted, something that is very valued and enforced in half-foot communities. Here’s a short post on half-foot family bonds culturally + here’s a post on marriage and half-foots for more. The community aspect of half-foots is very strong, which makes sense especially for how empoverished and discriminated against they are, which does come at the expense of not unlike dwarves (dwarves which half-foots idolize) having more pressure to fit in and have a good reputation to not be cast out and have no support lines. By being scared and needing stability people will often be more conservative, etc etc, though the reverse is also often true, like Chilchuck with his union. But yes Chilchuck seems to have many biases he clings onto, harsh on especially Marcille and Laios, Marcille for her idealism, race and magic meanwhile Laios for his lack of social skills and ‘reckless’ behavior.

He also does the classic "Don’t you dare date my daughter!!", though it’s a bit up in the air because he only gets agitated about coworkers being suitors, not nearly as hostile to the idea when it’s some nameless dwarf. But y’know when a guy assumes every men is as horny and sleazy as they are so they’re like "never trust men"… Chilchuck does embody a lot the tropes of just, the everyday flawed middle aged man. The absentee father and careerman husband who does care despite it all. Disillusioned grumpy old man. Old divorced drunkard joe with a thing for cute young blonde women, as a friend put it.

We know Kui subverses tropes a lot, I definitely think Kui leans into these if nothing else for the bit. He’s tropes of the strict family Father, man doing inappropriate jokes around a beer with his drinking buddies, working man exhausted and frustrated by his job, midlife crisis. Also because of how he acts with Marcille, I always say he’s the boy on the playground pulling on the pigtails of his girl friend bc he thinks it’s funny. Because he thinks she’s pretty.

So point blank, Chilchuck respects women as individuals but he can get a little lost in the sauce when thinking about women in general and jumps to sexualizing them in ways that can be objectifying and dismissive. Casual lowkey misogyny for the bit that may or may not slip into non-jokes as well sometimes when it comes to seeing women as something inherently to defend or take for granted, though he’s well-meaning. He engages in gender roles of "men should be strong and burly" and "daughters should listen to their fathers’ opinion before dating a guy". A guy engaging in patriarchy without thinking much of it y’know, more or less passive and unaware. He’s good in economic and human rights issues but would not win the political correctness medal (though he does care about optics and is very conscious of appearing as upstanding and innocent with the elves or Toshiro’s and Kabru’s parties to avoid getting thrown in jail. Overcompensating for half-foot criminal reputations etc etc. Post on that here).

Do I believe Chilchuck would march for women’s rights? Yes. Do I believe he would make ‘ye old ball and chain’ and ‘my wife’ and ‘ah women’ jokes? Yes. Do I believe he would punch anyone making one such jokes about his wife or daughters? Yes.

I was pretty flippant bc honestly Chilchuck the Sleazy Horny Old Man is hilarious to me but yes hopefully the post was decent. "How could I be sexist? I love bitches"

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Ok, scrap it, I'm gonna talk about Wallflower duo (Fit and Philza) and no one's gonna stop me.

They're THE duo for me. Since the day one they were inseparable always being by each other side, going on adventures together, bringing kids, sharing game breaking hacks. They honestly fall for a dynamic of "the guy with paranoia is a bestie with a dude with THE most dark secrets", but they're making it work. Philza is very paranoid and always kept an eye on his eggs, especially after Slime tried to kill Chayanne in his sleep and Quackity trying to kidnap Tallulah. Yet he gave Fit access to the kids bedroom and told everything he knew to him. And Fit responded with the same amount of trust. He is a person from 2b2t and doesn't trust a soul, but he shared every bit of info he got, and shared his secret room. It's a huge step for someone from the server, where you couldn't share even a little peak of coordinates. Yet he let Phil on the secret. Throughout all the Qsmp they were together. Fit was there when eggs first disappeared, and for presidential dinner. When Phil logged back to the server, his anarchy bestie was right there to fill him in, and even when everyone got tped out if area, Fit still somehow got back and told "I'm with you, Phil". And healed him near the end of the battle. When crow father had any meetings with someone he didn't trust (Happy pills Forever), he'd ask Fit to spy on them, and vice versa. And the last bit that makes me rotate them in my head 24/7, a cage for a cage moment. Fit always hesitated to break the rules, not to lose a job. Even for morning crew he had to be persuaded to go to the nether. But once Philza asked if he knew how to make lavacasts, he didn't ask anything. They both broke the rules together. And after crow was caught and released, our bald fella keeps an eye on him. "I know you for a long time, Phil, you're not the one to hallucinate". And this bird accident from tomorrow's stream.... Man, they're the besties. Also Fit having a micro separation anxiety attack after he lost Phil out of sight for a few seconds was as funny as it was sad.

They're in this together and they know it. They've got each other's back and are confident in each other.

And just last quote I feel describes them the best is from 10/4/2023 stream.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna piss off God again (for having a golden Apple)"

...

"You and I.. We walk into churches and they burn down just by our presence."

"This whole world will remember us" From Bonnie and Clyde the musical vibes ngl👀

[marionettedupaincheng]

see my problem is that penelope was still shoved to the side and treated as a wallflower. i wanted her to get more attention, i wanted her to be more desired than just debling. i wanted more people to see her beautiful soul and be attracted to her.

instead she still gets shoved to the side. it’s so frustrating. the amount of attention colin got? that should’ve been pen.

i wanted her to have a bigger crush on debling, i wanted to see her giddy, see her be excited over someone that wasn’t colin.

we should’ve had scenes where say debling and pen are conversing, colin strolls up bc he wants to talk to her. debling says something witty, pen bursts into giggles, colin looking incredibly hurt and jealous. instead he just goes blank faced whenever he sees pen interact with debling.

there should’ve been more recurring dream sequences where he’s intimate with pen on his own volition not right after they kissed. it gives me the vibe that he only realizes how sexually attracted to her he is after the kiss, but i think it should’ve been he sees her in her new style and is flustered. he realizes shes hot, that’s she’s more than just his little sister’s ex-bff. then starts having steamy dreams and on REPEAT.

it’s crazy bc polin do have chemistry. when they’re laughing as friends, when they’re doing the lessons but it was so minimal this season that it’s almost frustrating for me as a viewer who wants to root for penelope.

penelope should’ve been desired more and I’ll stand by it.