#my-wallflower-soul

[karda]

i need to be more transgender

[ma-lark-ey]

thinking about how simon probably started to read with baz whatever he was reading, and baz is a big classic lit nerd so they probably wind up reading Frankenstein.

And they both become DEEPLY connected to the book in EXTREMELY different ways.

Baz is struck by the novel because of the inherent way Creature longs for belonging but is shunned by society for factors out of his control, features he had no say in. Baz is struck by the inherent loss in autonomy in the Creature’s existence, the loneliness of it all.

Simon is struck by the bitterness of being rejected and cast aside by the one who made you. By the way society scolds the Creature for acting the exact ways they conditioned him to behave. He’s fixated on the way that The Creature is shamed for acting humane, and shamed for acting monstrous, and shamed for acting at all. Completely reviled by his creator, despite trying at all costs to be desired. How in the Creature’s own words, Frankenstein is God and he is forced to be both Adam and Satan at once.

i think they always debrief on the novels and what they thought the most about. And they sit and argue about Frankenstein for HOURS. On Victor, on Creature, on the family, on if any character can be redeemed or forgiven.

And after they talk in circles for weeks, Baz picks up two copies the Great Gatsby and they do it all over again, because it’s their funny little bonding thing.

[exhaled-spirals]

« When I think back on the year 1915, it seems to me that I still hear my friends tell me despondently: "I can't think of anything else! I can't read, I can't work, or find useful distractions (...), I only ruminate about our times, incessantly, until I'm nauseated (...). I've just had two hours of liberty—there was a time when I would have offered them to Tolstoy or Pascal. Today I read about [the war], or European colonial methods; issues that are entirely beyond my reach, but how to think of anything else?"

And perhaps we shouldn't strive to think of anything else; the point is not to turn our backs on our times, but to consider them calmly and thoughtfully. (...) It may be that the philosophy which absorbs you leaves no room for indulgence. Perhaps you feel yourself full of bitterness and rancour towards your fellow men, perhaps you have made up your mind to see in their activities nothing but greed and selfishness. (...) Do not be too eager to prove yourself right! Above everything, do not rejoice in being right in so dismal a fashion. (...) My only ambition is to beg the world to look for anything which can lighten the present and future distress of mankind, to find what interests the soul in a life burdened with troubles and disillusionments, to honour more than ever the faithful and imperishable resources of our inner life. (...)

The storm rages on, the events escalate, worsen, never cease. Never have they seemed more complex, more severe, more demanding. More dangerous. Wherever we turn, an opinion holds up its head and vehemently solicits our belief. (...) Our convictions, our certainties, are at each other's throats. (...) Yet mankind, even in these terrible hours, is only seeking happiness. Men have set off to conquer happiness, clutching in their hands the tools which will forever destroy it. (...) The wrong direction the world has taken is so obvious, so cruel, so vast (...)

Regardless, I would suggest not to lose hope—so long as a single wallflower still opens, in April, over the ruins of the world. Like algae, like mosses, like these laborious lichens which attach to the very ruins their infinite need for happiness, we will find joy in our present affliction and we will grow it, like a wind-battered plant in the parched soil of a wilted world. »

��� Georges Duhamel, La Possession du monde (translation mine) Written in 1917 as he worked as an army surgeon.

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Good to be Back | Cooper Adams/Abbott x F!Reader

Synopsis: You have lived across from the Adams' for what feels like ever, since you started your bachelor's degree. You notice Rachel's car peeling out of the driveway with such force it causing the ground to shake. Before you could escape back into your home, your eyes connect with Cooper's. "Care for a drink?"

Warnings: Language, Infidelity, Rough Sex, Bondage, Oral F!Receiving, Oral M! Receiving, PIV sex, Implied Age Gap (legal), Mention of Disappearances, Spanking, Choking, Daddy Kink (Heavy), F!Reader, Mentions of The Butcher

Rating: M

Author's Note: Fandom hopper oh my god...but I cannot stop thinking about Cooper Adams!!

Word Count: 5K

Tagging Moots: @rubyfruitjungle @babygorewhore @cherryinterlude @vamplreslayer (If you do want to be tagged going forth, please let me know! If not, I can remove you! (: )

If you would like to be tagged for my fics, please fill this out

Invisible. The notion itself holds mystery. One not being seen by the world, but observing all of the tactics. It's the equivalent of being a ghost, or a fly on the wall; taking in every moment, every conversation. It can be useful, but also can be deadly. One small slip up and it was forever embedded in the air. There was no way to escape the truth when it slipped through intoxicated mouths - or fake bodies. But there is a perk to knowing everyone's dirt. Easy to manipulate, and easy to interject.

That is how your next door neighbor is, but you have no idea.

It has been so long since you were last home, God it must have been an eternity. After graduation you wanted - no needed - to get away. Something about being stuck in Philly made you ill. When the opportunity arose to get the fuck out you hopped ship faster than you were brought into this world. The freedom, independence; sights to see and a life of adventure to live. You thought that is how it would be, you were wrong.

College life wasn't as everyone made it out to be. You should've known it was bullshit from when you first stepped on campus, your roommate fucking some random on your bed. It set the entire tone, first it was your bed getting defiled, then it was your desk. Before you could even process what was happening, your life took a complete turn. That one frat party.

That's a moment you hate remembering. It was fun but the aftermath was scary enough. You were always warned about frat parties, what could arise. But being a young, naïve student you had everything stacked against you. This didn't even happen in your freshman year, but your senior. Every time these guys were throwing a shindig you found yourself buried in schoolwork - wanting nothing more than to let these dude’s fuck off. With your final year coming into play you wanted to branch out, though you wished you hadn't.

The party was fuzzy, all you remember was what you were told. But it happened so quickly - one day you're a wallflower and the next, the talk of campus. Eyes burned holes into your soul with every step you took, every glance was directed at you. You couldn't handle it. Something needed to happen, you begged to whoever was listening to give these guys the revenge they deserved. The things that they did, what was said - someone needed to take them down. In fact it only took a week, and your prayers were answered.

It was freeing, hearing around campus how those four dude’s just disappeared. Poof, out of existence. The matter was dropped; life was normal again. Curiosity got the best of you when you heard their names, exactly who did you wish to for this to happen? Like everything else in life it all slips away, becoming of the past. Life ticked on with its duties - you couldn't let go. From the beginning to the end everything went by quickly; a college graduate and ready to take on the world.

Graduating was suppose to mean getting your dream job, working in the field that you loved - but everything took time. As you packed up your car with the memories of the last four years, you couldn't help but reminisce. Four years worth of memories and mistakes, tucked away in the cheapest cardboard boxes. Why did life have to change so much when you were just getting comfortable again? Although you will miss college it was a good riddance, now you could prep yourself for the world.

It wasn't ideal to head back to your hometown but, it was needed. Your family hasn’t seen you in a while, plus job searching is better when you don't have to pay for room and board, especially in this economy. The four hour drive felt like an hour, tunes blasting through the car as you head back into the vortex. Your hometown felt like it was a time warp, one giant forcefield keeping everyone and everything in. Breaching that meant coming to terms that you, as well, might be stuck. Only for a few months, that's it.

As you turned down your old street, it felt like something straight out of a movie - it looked fake. Perfect houses with perfect families, this was some Truman show shit if you have ever seen it. Before you could get wrapped up in conspiracies, you saw your home - smiling softly as you rounded the corner. Pulling into the driveway there was a heavy shroud on your chest - things were out of place. Fixating on the note from the garage door you saw only a glimmer of what it said:

Going to be out of town for a month for our retirement trip. Love you, be safe!

“Great”, you thought. Just when you wanted to see your family they were gone. There was something naughty about having the house all to yourself, not worrying about anyone barging in. A smirk spread across your lips whilst shutting your car off, wrapping your lanyard in your palm. Breaking you out of your thoughts was the door slamming, screaming followed behind. It was instinctual to not be nosy, but let's face it. As you slid out of the driver's seat, you slowly reached for the backdoor - peering over to see who exactly was yelling. For a split second you caught the image of a man and woman yelling at one another while a boy and a girl sat in the backseat. Cocking an eyebrow, you leaned forward a bit more to peer out your back window.

Cooper Adams and his wife Rachel were exchanging some very colorful words, your eyes shot wide open at their argument. It felt wrong to listen in, but they didn't have to know. You bit your top lip in anticipation of what he would say next, but before the argument could officially commence, Rachel was slamming the driver’s door - and speeding so fast out of the driveway it left marks across yours. Seeing how close the car got to you made you jump, smacking your head against the roof of the car. Backing out you rubbed the swollen top, holding back tears.

Peering across the street, Cooper ran his hands through his brown locks - tugging hard. There was something sexy about how mad he was, frustrated even - but it hurt your heart. You've known Cooper since you were in college, considering that's when he moved here. All you knew was that he was a firefighter - nothing more and nothing less. There were a few occasions when you found yourself looking for the fire department’s calendars – for research purposes. Mr. October happened to be your favorite. Cooper’s gaze caught yours, showing a bit of embarrassment. He didn't think anyone was around to see what happened. Giving him a sweet wave, you smiled small in condolence at what you witnessed. He didn't return your gesture, remained at the end of your driveway - his hands fixated on his hips. "I'm sorry you had to witness that."

His words pierced deep, something about the low tone sent sparks through your body. The way his broad shoulders squared up to yours. His fucking stance in itself made you want to drop. Those impure thoughts flew through your mind as he stared at the ground, awaiting your response. Catching on you shook your head, leaning back against your car. "Don't be sorry, are you okay?" Cooper saw this as an invitation to move forward, his hands in his front pockets. When he was in front of you, he couldn't look in your eyes - instead focusing on his home. The way he held himself was strict, he was so tense all the time. It was understandable with the line of work he did but this was different, he was frustrated. "I'll be okay - back from school so soon?"

He changed the subject as fast as he sauntered over to you, not wanting to focus on the negative. You shot Cooper a smile as you held your house key from your lanyard, motioning to your car filled with boxes. "I'm officially done, graduated last week." This was the first time you saw Cooper smile since you've been home - heat rushing to your cheeks. In a way you felt as if he was reading you, browsing through your entire life story off of one sentence. Lost in your own train of thought you didn't realize how close he got, his shoulders parallel to yours - boxing you in. His right hand placed on top of the roof, dangerously close to your head. Swallowing down every ounce of dignity you had. His russet brown eyes poured over every inch of you, tracing you through the clothing.

"Congratulations, I hope you got spoiled for that big accomplishment." Honey, that was the best way to describe his tone. Molasses and honey flowing in a splendid river, drowning you with every syllable. His musk - fennel and pine radiating off of him made your stomach flip, muscles contracting. You had no control over your body anymore, it was like a flip was switched. You watched as Cooper trailed his left hand over your arm, dragging his nails against the grain. His right hand fell to your neck, fingers resting at the base whilst his thumb rubbing circles by your throat. With a hard grasp, he pulled you forward - inches away from your face. "Did you get spoiled, sweetheart?”

Words could not form, no matter how hard you tried to muster them out. All you could do was shake your head as a form of no. Both of your hands fell slack to your sides, growing clammy by the second. Cooper was not happy with your answer, pouting playfully as he dug his thumb harder against your neck, causing your breath to hitch. It was a huge accomplishment, but you didn't want people to go out of their way to celebrate it. So, after you went to commencement you had a small lunch with your close family, then went back to your off campus apartment. Nothing too out there, enough to satisfy you. "Will you let me spoil you, and be a good girl?" His words made you weaker, slumping slightly into his touch. You couldn't shake the fight you saw earlier, how angry they both were. This was proof Cooper needed to blow off steam but, you felt guilty. A married man, father of two - you didn't want to intervene. "Baby, I'm getting divorced - that's what the fight was about."

That was enough for you to lean up to his lips, pressing your body flush against his. There was something about being out in the open for everyone to see that made your body burn hotter. There was a chance you could be caught by anyone. Cooper felt it too, but it was too good to stop, you were too intoxicating. His large, calloused hands slid across your lower back to drape around your ass, cupping it like it was the last thing his hands would ever do. Entangled in the pleasure you let a hearty moan slip from your mouth to his, the bulge pressing harder against your thigh. Delicate hands laced their way to the back of Cooper’s neck, scratching over the tender skin. He licked at your bottom lip, begging for entrance. Obeying his silent command you parted your lips, bringing your left leg up higher to lace around his waist.

The taste of whipped cream on his breath drove you mad, his scent lingering in your nostrils as he passionately kissed you - growing harder with each motion. You couldn't handle it anymore as you grinded down against his bulge, lightning shooting through your core. Cooper’s hand slid from your throat to the base of your neck, tangling his fingers in your soft strands. With a single twist of his hand, he yanked your hair back - making you gaze into his eyes. A devilish smirk rested upon his lips, swollen from how hard he made out with you. A small whimper left your mouth, tiny enough to show you turned on you were by his actions. The hand that was once secured to your side pulled your keys out, waving the lanyard in your face. "Lead the way." He smirked, draping the lanyard down the valley of your breast - watching your shudder at the feeling.

You reached up to snatch your keys away, swaying your hips as you headed for the front door. Cooper sat back to watch how your ass shook with every step, wanting to take you right then and there on the lawn. Bringing his hand down he began to palm himself, trying to relieve some of the tension his cock was holding. Out of the corner of your eye you could see it too - causing your core to ignite. To tease him further you arched your back - pushing your ass out enough to wiggle it as you slid your key in. When you least expected it, the hard crack of Cooper’s hand came down across your backside; you swore it echoed through the neighborhood.

The yelp that left your mouth was masked with Cooper’s hand, gripping at your face so hard you felt it against your teeth. Without any more effort you spun the doorknob to the left, kicking it open. Cooper ushered you inside with haste, the hard oak door slamming into its respected slot. You have never seen a man be this passionate, this rough - it made you ache all over. Standing in the foyer of your home, you gulped as you watched Cooper’s eyes blacken. There wasn't an immediate danger lurking between you both, but it felt like it - he looked as if he was going to snap. Biting hard on your first finger, you tried to jet away towards your room - to not avail. It was like Cooper read your mind - knowing exactly what you were going to do. "Now princess, where the hell do you think you're going?"

His large, calloused hand came down on your right wrist - yanking it behind your body as you pushed you into the wall separating the kitchen from the dining room. You could hear the metallic clank of his belt coming undone, groaning at the sound. Prepping yourself for the feeling of his hardened cock against your thigh, you slid your ass out a bit more - only to earn a hearty smack to the reddened flesh. "Fucking Christ, you enjoy being a brat?" The sinister smirk on his lips sent sparkles through your eyes, hearing just how lust filled he was becoming. The cold, smooth leather of his belt slid against your wrist. With a rough tug, Cooper slid your left wrist into the makeshift cuffs - cranking the end of the belt back so your hands were snug. As his fingers left your leather-clad wrists, Cooper came up to lace his fingers through your hair - ever so gently pulling you back to his mouth. His musk invaded your senses as his free hand trailed down your front - paying the softest attention to your throat. You couldn't help but slide your eyes closed at the feeling, wanting more.

Taking you out of your moment was your body being forced away from the wall, pushing you along until you were face to face with the marble countertop. This was new, must have been one of the new renovations. There was a second where Cooper completely let go of you, watching as you stood eyes forward - not daring to look back. The anticipating was killing you; you needed his touch. Sweat slid down your brow as you tried to shake your hair out of your face, letting your heart calm for a minute. The warm grasp of Cooper Adams returned but, in a harsher way. He didn't warn you when he yanked your shorts down, pooling them around your ankles. Without being told you kicked them off, wanting them far away. The cold air of your home ran through the heat produced between your legs, never realizing your panties were discarded as well.

Lost in the thought of how your core ached, Cooper had the advantage - tossing you up onto the new countertop, legs spread wide open. "Is my good girl aching for me?" You couldn't help but chew on your lip at his words, the praise shocking your cunt. Nodding gently, you batted your eyelashes in his direction - watching as his drank up your appearance. His fingertips returned to your thighs, pushing hard into the skin - knowing it was going to bruise tomorrow. Slowly he massaged his fingers upwards, draping them over your inner thighs - ghosting over your hot cunt. It was driving you mad, you needed - wanted his touch, his mouth, his everything.

The bucking of your hips into his hand only caused the fury to set itself onto Cooper, his eyes narrowing to your face. Slamming his right hand onto the countertop next to your thigh, he reached forward with his left to grip at your neck, pulling you fast towards him. "Words, use your words." Your pupils were blown out, no color except black showed. The way your expression held lust only made Cooper grow harder - wanting you more than anything. "Y-yes, Daddy." The name came out with a smirk, eyeing him up and down. Cooper’s grip on your neck got tighter, pressing his plump lips flush against yours. The heat of the kiss made you moan into his mouth, wanting him to know what effect he had on you. As the kiss got deeper he slid his hands away, unbuckling the cuffs on his shirt as he dragged the long sleeve's back, exposing his forearms. Cooper trailed his hands down to his slacks, pulling them off with ease - brief's following right behind. The slap of his erect cock against his stomach made you moan, eyes widening at his size.

"Daddy, y-you're so big..." You couldn't help but stare at his length, the wetness of your core seeping down to the counter. He would break you, split you in half - he will be the biggest cock you have ever taken. There was something ignited in Cooper when your eyes cascaded over his length, his ego growing - knowing he was big. Hearing you say it only made him ache harder. Licking his lips as he pulls back from your mouth, he pulled your ass to the edge of the counter - leaving sloppy kisses on your inner thighs, red marks littering the soft skin. With your hands pressing into your back, all you could do was whimper to Cooper - puppy dog eyes boring into his. "I need you to be loud for Daddy, okay? Don't hold back."

Obeying Cooper’s command, you braced yourself as his hot tongue slid up your seam - flat against your slit. The feeling in itself made you want to jump, stuttering your hips into his mouth. Cooper did not like that, pinning your hips down to the counter with his massive hands. He made sure to never leave your eyes, especially as he bit right where the crease of your pelvis met your thigh - tugging at the skin. You could feel your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he dove back into your steaming cunt, lapping at your arousal. Cooper was a pussy eating champ, you fucking knew it just by how he sucked your clit - rolling it in between his teeth and lips. The attention he was paying your nerve bundle made your whole body flop. You couldn't moan, no - screams were leaving your throat. Each swipe of his long tongue had you falling apart - enough to where Cooper slammed you back down onto the counter. The grunt he let out into your cunt made your orgasm approach quickly. Bucking your hips up, you let a string of whimpers slide out, signaling how close you were. "C-Coop… I-I-I'm gonna...."

"What did you just call me?" Cooper pulled his head back from your thighs, your essence glistening upon his lips. One of his eyebrows cocked in your direction, rubbing little circles into your hips. It was painful how fast your orgasm approached, but not letting it burst. The torture Cooper was pushing onto you made you want to cry. You could help but grind your hips against the air - hoping to at least reach that point you once were at. "Brats don't get to come." He tsked into your ear, biting on your lobe. You couldn't help but pout as you strained yourself, wanting something to help take you to the brink. "D-Daddy please...I-I need your mouth."

Cooper pulled you off of the counter, shaking his head at you. The tears swelling in the corner of your eyes made him soften for a moment, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. Even though he was dominating you in everyway you needed, he didn't want to push you into something you may not have wanted. With a stray tear that fell, he made sure to kiss it away - peppering sweet kisses all over your face. Rubbing into his lips, you licked yours - lowering yourself to your knees. Lurching forward you returned his kisses to his hips, thighs and lower stomach - making sure to never break eye contact. "L-Let me make it up to you, Daddy."

Before you could let Cooper respond, you licked one singular line up his shaft - watching at his thick length twitched against your lips. As you came to the top you let your tongue swirl over his swollen tip - lapping up his precum. Cooper couldn't help but slam his eyes shut - wrapping his fingers in your hair to make a ponytail. Opening your mouth all the way, you let Cooper position your mouth over his tip. Nodding in anticipation, Cooper slammed your mouth down onto him - taking him fully in. It was way too much for your to grasp - choking slightly on the girth of him. Tears spilled from the corners of your eyes as you hollowed your cheeks out - suctioning tightly around him. "Oh fuck, princess..." He tossed his head back as he moaned out, jetting his hips back into your face.

This was a new sensation for you, never ever being face fucked. With Cooper it felt so natural, your undying hunger strengthened with every thrust. The way his tip slid against the back of your throat made the butterflies in your stomach erupt. You couldn't handle it anymore, feeling your wetness sliding down your weakened thighs. With every bob of your head against Cooper’s cock it shot electricity through your nerves, wanting him more than anything. Through tearful eyes you watched his expression - how his forehead scrunched up, his bottom lip pulled taut between his teeth. He was trying so hard to suppress his moans for you, but it was sexier hearing them. Lightly you dragged your teeth up his shaft, causing him to pan his eyes back down at you. Cooper humped himself into your face with such aggression it made you gag more, spit dripping from your mouth over your clothed chest. As you clamped your eyes shut to breathe through your nose, you felt how his hips stuttered - shooting his creamy rope right down your throat. With weakened thrusts, he slowly started to ease out of you, rubbing his thumb over your wet chin. "Such a good little princess for Daddy, you did a great job." He cooed, placing a kiss to your forehead. The praise shot right into your cunt.

"Now it's Daddy's turn - I want you to cum on my cock. Can princess do that for me?" The eagerness to your nod made Cooper laugh at how adorable it was, helping you up to your feet. As he spun you around like the princess you are, he pressed your face into the cold countertop - it felt so good on your warm cheeks. The feeling of his toned legs kicking your open made you squirm, arching your back ever so slightly for him. Cooper leaned forward, pressing his lips to your shoulder as his cock slides between your folds, gathering your wetness on his shaft. The way he pressed his tip into your clit had you moaning out ripples, it couldn't - no - wouldn't stop. Each slow thrust of his hips caused your body to jolt, not even fully given in yet. Just then, with a snap of his hips - he sheathed his thick cock inside your wet heat. The scream you let out was enough to break the wine glasses sitting on the countertop - it felt so fucking good!

"I bet those college boys couldn't fuck you like Daddy can. Am I right princess?" He didn't give you time to adjust as he plowed into you from behind, scratching his way to your shoulder and back. The pain mixing with pleasure made you rock your entire body against him - wanting to hold and caress his form. Your wrists writhed against the leather belt, still bound from earlier. Cooper saw you struggling - taking that as his cue to release your hands. The way they flopped to your side felt unreal as he demolished your pussy. Gaining your strength back, you pressed against the countertop, pushing your hips back to meet Cooper’s thrust. "N-never, y-y-you fuck me way better, Daddy. I-I can't get enough of your b-big cock!"

Your words had Cooper laughing sinisterly - lust lacing his tone. It became too much to deal with, his dirty words flowing through your brain as his cock hit that spongy spot within you. From the way you were angled you could feel everything. The way his tip punched your cervix without a care, how your walls tightened around his girthy shaft. How with every thrust you felt your entire body come undone. Nothing in life brought you as much bliss as Cooper was, this was your whole world. You have been fantasizing about Mr. Adams ever since you first laid your eyes upon him. Now you had him where you needed, and you were never going to lay off. "Princess, I-I'm gonna-" Before Cooper could finish his sentence, he was coming undone within you. Ropes of his sweet seed painting your walls - this is when you were thankful for having an implanted contraceptive. Feeling his seed shooting in you was enough for your orgasm to spray - drenching his cock with so much force. The moans, groans and whimpers slipping from yourself and Cooper echoed throughout your vacant home - this was the best day of your life.

Cooper pulled out of you with ease, rubbing his gentle fingers across your behind. Every stroke made you weak, feeling like jelly under his grasp. Pulling you upwards to his chest, he swept you up bridal style as he made his way to your living room, seeing the new conversation pit your parents had installed. It was essentially like a giant bed with seats, causing you to laugh lightly into Cooper’s chest. As he stepped down the stairs, he pulled blanket from one of the seats over you both, pulling you closer to him. Turning around to face him, you wrapped your left leg over his, rubbing small circles into the stubble lining his chin. The moment was perfect, too perfect. The way Cooper looked at you with so much admiration and love, made your entire soul flutter. "It was me." He mumbled out, looking at you with no emotion to his words. It was like his body was taken over by an unseen force, his hand going ridged against your side. "What was you?"

He let out a gentle sigh, chewing on the inside of his cheek, never leaving your gaze. He was debating heavily if he should tell you, or leave it alone. But it felt wrong to not let you know. He slid his hand to cup your cheek, kissing you as soft as silk - lingering over your swollen lips. His large hand cupping your back as well, drawing patterns with his thumb as he let those forbidden words out; "Those guys at the frat party, I made them disappear." His words make you go stiff, eyes widening as you realize what he did. The ones who hurt you, who humiliated you earlier last year - Cooper disposed of them. Your breath grew more erratic as you realized what was going on, there was only one question flowing through your brain. "Did you...did you kill them?" It was weird, you should've felt afraid - but you felt the opposite, safe and sound within Cooper Adams’ arms.

"Yes, for you. They were going to get away with what they did to you, and I didn't want that to happen. I wanted them to feel the fear you did. I wanted them to feel the way they made you feel, I only want to protect you from the evil this world holds." Little did you know, Cooper was the evil this world held. He was after all, The Butcher.

[marknee]

bts fanfics i personally think shakespeare would lose his job over in the 1500’s.

chapter i. ✷ chapter ii.

KEYS ON SEVERITY OF SHAKESPEARE’S STATE:

( ✮ ) — poor sod is on the floor. perhaps it’s shock?

( ♬ ) — he’s jealous he didn’t write this himself. well, it sucks to suck, mate.

( ✎ ) — currently handing him a tissue. give him a second.

( ♛ ) — both him and i lost our jobs. her majesty is ruthless.

THE SHAKESPEARE SERIES.

WARNING: keep in mind, some of these authors are very strict on the rule that no minors should read their work if they’re underage, and i will honour that. but, at the end of the day, i am not your parent. so, there’s that. but heed my warning wisely. any smut or 18+ content is highlighted in bold.

NOTE: without further ado, this are the fanfics that i think would cause shakespeare to lose his job: the first of many essays. let’s bring the guy to his knees. metaphorically.

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( ♛ ) THE BODYGUARD — by @rmnamjoons

!! bodyguard!namjoon x reader | 62.9k !!

bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating, slight angst if you squint, lil bit of violence.

firstly, we’re starting off strong. i present to you, the mother of all namjoon fanfics. and she’s a bad bitch. tbh, i feel like this fic needs a moment of silence just to relish in her glory. soak it all up. it’s essential.

this fic genuinely had me gobsmacked at how incredibly written it is. it delves into every detail and no aspect of the story is left dry. you can tell the author put their everything into creating this world you just submerge into. and it shows.

the world building is amazing, the characters are so thought out, and it feels like you’re just on this adventure with them and discovering their story as it plots out.

also, the build up to the smut? out of this world. that’s one thing i love about this fic: it doesn’t feel rushed. everything is very spaced out and takes it’s sweet time, so when you get to the chocolately nut of the ferrero rocher, it’s like gold and well earned. and you can enjoy it.

honestly, it’s been months since i read this and i think about it every day. i did do some research (for my own peace of mind) and this fic is longer than the perks of being a wallflower. and is it better? yes. sorry not sorry.

this work of art deserves to be read and loved. and i rest my case, your honour.

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( ✎ ) UNTIL THE LAST STAR FALLS — by @minniepetals

!! underworld lords!bts x shield!reader | 44.4k !!

reincarnation!au, poly!au, gods!au, unrequited love, minor character death, car accidents.

quick question — for science — how does one happen to lose all their memories without any sustaining any internal or external injuries? because the things i would do to read this again for the first time. and i do not use those words lightly.

this was my first ever ‘longer’ written fic. and if i’m being honest, i never really liked to read them because i have the attention span of a goat. but this fic lures you in from the very start and time slips away like smoke. to say, it definitely left its mark on me.

it’s so brilliantly written and you feel connected to the characters both mind and soul. you want the best for them, you want to save them, you actually want to crawl into the pages (or screen) and fucking help them out. and that sold it to me, i think. just the sheer love for these characters.

i balled when i read the last few sentences. i didn’t want it to end. i think i finished it at three in the morning and sent a voice note of me crying to my friend. tmi? well, now on my christmas list is 7 hot boys in the underworld who would risk their everything for me. and i, them.

worth every single second. trust.

⠀

( ♬ ) WARM THIS WINTER — by @jamaisjoons

!! seokjin x reader ft. ex-boyfriend jungkook | 51.6k !!

christmas!au, vacation!au, angst, fluff, smut (18+).

one thing about solaris, is she never misses. if i could, i think i’d recommend every fanfic she ever put out, but that’s too much effort for me when you could simply click her masterlist. so, i’ll wait here for you to do that. make sure you come back though.

love. sure, there are hundreds- perhaps, thousands of fics on this app about it. so what makes this one different? well, that’s just it. the sorrowful honesty of love. knowing when it’s over, and when it’s blooming in the midst.

i’ve never been in love, but frankly, this fic really spelt it out for me. the pain, the joy, the lingering memories after everything is said and done. it’s all there. and it really settles in your heart as you near the end.

this work pulled on every single heartstring of mine, stamped on them, and then proceeded to sew anew for the future to bring its own miseries. and i enjoyed it more than i can say (or type).

give this a read if you need just that bit of spark in your life. and that bit of sadness, too.

⠀

( ✮ ) STRIKE A CHORD — by @snackhobi

!! yoongi x reader | 15.8k !!

smut (18+), pianist!yoongi.

i don’t know what it is about this fic, but i come back to it whenever it pops up in my mind during my day. i’ll immediately unlock my phone and open this app, knowing i’ll feel better when the last word is read. and i feel content.

the atmosphere in this fic, if i may, feels as though you’re trapped in a warm, safe bubble with hazed music in the distance and soft light spilling through the thin layer of the bubble— not too dark, but enough to make you feel drowsy and peaceful. perhaps that’s why i return to it so often. i like how it makes me feel.

yoongi as an artist is already enough to make a person swoon, but as a pianist? i need a lie down. a cold towel to the head. just the whole characterisation of him in this fic needs a whole separate essay in itself, but you’ll understand my point when you read it.

forever a comfort fic, i think. and forever a comfort person. double whammy. case closed.

⠀

( ✎ ) THE END — by @jimlingss

!! seokjin x reader | 31k !!

fifty percent fluff, fifty percent angst, loosely inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before.

i say this with my whole chest: i have never underestimated the amount of emotions you can experience during a fanfic, until i read the end— both literally and metaphorically. shock horror.

this fanfic takes you through the adventure of the reader learning of what her future would commence if she were to marry either one of the six members. best part? she’s led through this rollercoaster journey by the ghost of kim seokjin.

first impression to such an offer? sign me the fuck up. i mean, what more could you ask for? however my final impression went a bit more on the lines of what the fuck just happened. very different ends of the spectrum, if you ask me.

i decided to hand both shakespeare and i a tissue after this great piece of art was finished because not only was i sobbing, he was on the floor knowing his romance play of pericles could never live up to such an incredible story.

this fic was a rollercoaster i would be delighted to get onto for another ride.

⠀

( ✎ ) A UNIVERSE TO YOU — by @readyplayerhobi

!! soulmate!hoseok x reader | 41k !!

fluff, angst, smut (18+), soulmates!au.

shakespeare once said (according to google), “it is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves,” and if this fic wasn’t a soulmate!au, i think i would’ve agreed in some sorts. but as it is, in fact, a soulmate!au, i’m obliged to disagree. it was destiny i read this fic, hand on heart.

i was not expecting this fic to hit me in the feels as hard as it did. as you can tell by the other works listed in this essay of recommendations, soulmate!au’s come up a lot. and with a lot of the same plots flying around on this app, it’s hard to make one stand out. but this author definitely has a gift.

everything was so richly created it made you feel full. of wonder, of love, and of want. it made you crave it for yourself. and that’s what i love about this fic. it just makes you feel… good. and with the unfortunates of life currently, it’s one to get your head stuck in for some temporary relief.

dream soulmate? he’s right here, people. just enjoy the story and all the feels that float around your body. go on.

⠀

( ✮ ) BUNNY — by @btssmutgalore

!! jungkook x fem!reader | 46.5k !!

non-idol!au, camboy!jk, friends to lovers, smut, angst.

let’s start here: never judge a book by its cover. a quote by george eliot going all the way back to the 19th century, and one i would use to describe this series as a whole, and my first impressions towards it.

this series, although unfinished (i think), has exceeded my expectations of a good smut outlined by a good plot. the best of both worlds, if you might. i came out of this series deeply in awe of the writing and the clear imagery the author manages to create within your own mind.

additionally, bunny was the beginning for me in learning about the world of camboys and camgirls(?), but i was greatly surprised. often, people are unkind to the new and stick to what they’re accustomed to, afraid of what the unknown might bring — me, included.

but, i’m glad i took the risk because i received three great things in return: a beautiful fanfic, knowledge of something that was foreign to me, and an author whose work i admire and shall be returning to in the future.

perhaps what i’m getting at is this could be a lesson to all. take a risk of something unknown because who knows? maybe something great will come out of it, and you’ll learn something. i did.

⠀

( ♬ ) SEOUL UNDERGROUND — by @hunniejimins (ao3)

!! namjoon x jungkook x f!reader | 300k !!

mafia!au, enemies to lovers, violence, slow burn, love triangles, mob boss!namjoon, smut, heavy angst.

it’s ironic really. i found this work by someone else’s recommendation, and now i’m passing on the favour and recommending it to you, dear reader. it’s funny how the world works.

this work is the perfect balance of fantasy and reality and i love it. you’re hit with the beauty and clouded haze of love before being smacked back into the world at the realisation the very person you’re in love with, is a mafia mob boss and his killer mate. a real fun-sponge, i tell ‘ya.

nevertheless, this book kept me up early morning and late evening reading. it keeps you hooked, wanting, and hungry for more.

it’s nothing less of a masterpiece.

⠀

( ✎ ) CREAM AND SUGA — by @snackhobi

!! yoongi x barista f!reader | 14.8k !!

coffee shop!au, barista!au, fluff, nfsw (18+).

@snackhobi is mentioned twice on this list. though, can you blame me? it’s just a good thing shakespeare and this author don’t exist in the same century. it would be absolute carnage but nobody is ready for that conversation.

this author has a talent of portraying yoongi in the most irresistible way possible. i swear, i fall in love with him all over again reading. i wish you understood.

the whole misunderstanding section made me laugh because haven’t we all been there? the crushing pain and overwhelming guilt of having a crush on someone you can’t have. it’s all too real, seriously. been there, done that (unfortunately).

especially having the holidays just past, this is a perfect fic for a warm evening in, while the coldness of winter storms past outside. such a cute fic. love, love, love!

⠀

( ♛ ) LOST AND FOUND — by @taleasnewastime

!! seokjin x reader | 21.2k !!

strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, sfw.

everyone says they have a fanfic that changed them, whether they’re being hyperbolic or brutally honest. and in my case, it’s a matter of both latter and former.

a couple months ago, i reached what i thought was rock bottom regarding my mental state and i took to my imagination to save me from the daily hell of my own mind. and this book was one i never really forgot about.

everything this author wrote within this fic was honest, heartfelt and very, very real. from the way you don’t just go up after going through something, but fall occasionally and sometimes feel as though you’re back at square one, to the way that there definitely is hope in the dark moments, and a light at the end of the tunnel. albeit a very faint one.

it comforted me in a way and reminded me of what i thought to be lost. fruitless, even. but sometimes, it’s books like these that open our eyes to things we’ve forgotten during times of turmoil: the simple goodness of life. and of people.

“if you’re going through hell, keep going.” winston churchill.

⠀

( ✮ ) CANDYLAND — by @honeymoonjin

!! seokjin x reader ft. elf!jk | 13k !!

thriller, angst, fantasy, husband!jin, some cursing.

my mother is the biggest thriller fan. not that you needed to know that, but she is. and she’s not ashamed of it either. she’ll let you know if she’s reading a really good thriller in the moment. trust me, you’ll know.

me? not so much. i’m more of a sappy, hopeless romance, happy ending kind-of-sod — if you haven’t already guessed from this list. but there’s a reason this fic is on the list, too.

this fic genuinely kept me on the edge of my seat- uh, bed. the secrets of what darkness lingered behind the happy exterior of this adventure trip gripped my eyes to the screen, and lord, was it worth it.

throw a bit of husband!seokjin in there too? what more could you want! and written by @honeymoonjin? what a win.

let’s just say after this fic i added a few other thrillers to my basket. and happily reported to my mum i was a changed woman. okay, i’m exaggerating, but you get my point. it was incredible.

⠀

( ✎ ) LILY LUCK — by @gguksgalaxy

!! yoongi x reader | 10.7k !!

soulmates!au, angst, fluff if u squint, very slight implicit sexual content, anxiety.

although this fic may be the shortest on the list, do not underestimate its power. it is still as mighty as the others— perhaps, even more so.

i think the main emotion i want to hone into concerning this fanfic is compassion. it sinks into your bones and surrounds your entire being like a unwanted hug. and you can’t even stop it.

the author does a good job of making you feel intense compassion for the reader — who so desperately wants to meet her soulmate. which makes the ending that much more satisfying.

this is for those who’re lonely, need a pick up, or those who’re hopeless romantics and believe in love belonging to fate, such as myself.

“expectation is the root of all heartache.” william shakespeare. talking of the devil, he would definitely cry over this fic. either of bubbling emotions, or the fact he didn’t write it himself. sucks really. for him, not for me.

© marknee, 2023. all rights reserved.

[holylulusworld]

Darkness and Sunshine

Summary: Bucky hurts you deeply.

@buckybarnesevents „Hot Bucky Summer 2024”: Week 10 “Shhhhhhhhh…”

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader

Warnings: angst, Bucky being a douche, unrequited feelings, BBF trope, unwanted touching (not Bucky), fluff

A/N: The story to this random thot & this poll.

Bucky's POV

She does it again. A quick glance at me, and back to her girly drink. I know she’s interested in being more than my friend’s sister to me, but this can never be.

Just like her drink, she’s too sweet for me.

You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait Until that day I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

I’m the whiskey-neat kind of guy. Bitter and dark. Rough and violently. My soul is black, just like the coffee I drink.

She’s the sunshine, but I am the darkness. A beautiful but vulnerable flower like her could never grow in my shadow. She would wither away and die before she got the chance to bloom.

I don’t know when, or how I changed her mind about me. I was only ever the dangerous guy her brother met to get drunk, and punch people. How often she scolded her brother for being friends with me, I don’t know.

But somehow, over the years she changed her mind. Now she looks at me like a lovesick puppy, and I cannot bear it. Not because I do not wish for her to be mine. It’s the opposite. I cannot let her in. If I do, I’d paint a target on her back.

Damnit, she bites her sweet lips while stealing another glance at me. I sigh deeply and sip at my drink. Tonight, I must show her that a goody in two shoes can never be the woman by my side. As much as it pains me, it has to be done.

“Buck, what’s wrong with you?” Her brother asks, clueless as ever. He’s not the smartest when it comes to acknowledging love, or other people’s feelings. “Something wrong?”

It has to be done. I tell myself, repeating the words like a mantra. Steve, my best friend since childhood worriedly looks at her brother. He knows about Y/N’s feelings for me, and that I must extinguish the flame I ignited in her heart.

Sadly, this can only be done by crushing her heart.

“Bucky, maybe there’s another way?” Steve gets up when I do. He wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me for a second. “You should reconsider your decision. Peggy is sweet too. Just give it a try.”

I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

“No—” I harshly free my metal wrist from Steve’s grasp. He means well, I know he does, but I cannot allow Y/N to fall for me even more. I’m a dangerous man, deadly even. I won’t steal her light nor let anyone hurt her even if I have to be the one breaking her heart.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So, I turn away from my friend and his disappointed look. Away from her brother. Away from the future fate held for me to protect what could’ve been mine.

I nod at the girls I hired for tonight, and they immediately take my offered arms. I breathe in and out before walking in Y/N’s direction.

The girls begin to chat, and as I’m about to walk past Y/N I say, "Luckily I found you ladies. All the girls at this place are so plain and boring.” I look directly at Y/N and scrunch my nose up in disgust. “Some are only allowed at my club because their big brother begged me to let them come.”

My heart chatters as a pained wail leaves Y/N’s lips. Her eyes water and her lips tremble. Those soft lips I yearned to kiss for so long. Forsaken to me now.

Still, there’s something in her eyes. A sliver of hope I must kill.

“I can’t believe a wallflower like her believes she can be anything but a pity fuck to me. If it was up to me, I’d make sure she stays away from me,” I hate myself the moment she drops the glass in her hands to run out of my club. I shattered her world and broke her heart.

I watch the door slam shut, telling myself it’s for the best.

Your POV

You run, as fast as you can. It doesn’t matter that your brother drove you to the club, or that you forgot your jacket.

Bucky just confirmed your worst fear. He hates everything about you. From your plain outfit to your character. All the things he said, are true. You’re not like the girls hanging on his arms tonight.

All you had was a glimmer of hope that maybe, he sees more in a woman but a pretty face and good looks.

Your whole world got shattered when he said all those awful things.

You know now that James Buchanan Barnes is just like every other guy.

It’s almost two months later that Bucky sees you again. That day, you glance his way. Your eyes sadden and you immediately walk the other way. The flowers you wanted to buy long forgotten you almost run away from Bucky to not feel the hurting all over again.

His eyes follow you until you’re only a tiny dot in the distance. Bucky shakes his head and sighs deeply. This is not what he intended to do.

He not only lost a good friend that night but hurt you so deeply that you’re scared to even look his way.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath when Steve steps out of the flower shop. He carries a huge bouquet of roses for Peggy.

“What’s wrong, Buck?” Steve follows his friend’s eyes, frowning. “What happened?”

“She ran away.” He shrugs, shoulders slumping. “I didn’t want her to be scared of me, Steve. Only to make sure she looks for someone better.”

Hiding in your bedroom you ignore your ringing phone once again. You assume it’s your brother, or maybe your friend Tasha trying to get you to go out.

No way you will go out there, facing the world ever again. Bucky embarrassed you in public, in front of your brother and all his friends. You’ll never recover from this.

Rolling to your side you grab your phone from the nightstand to silence it. For today, you will shut yourself out from the world.

Another month later Bucky is fuming. Not because of you, and your presence at his club. No, not at all. Your sweet smile, and the cute sundress you’re wearing make his heart flutter.

The person making his blood boil is your date. John Walker - the man trying to get under Bucky's skin for years. That bastard brought you here for a date. A date at Bucky’s club.

Walker did this on purpose. Bucky is sure about it. He doesn’t know how his concurrent found out that he likes you, but he did. Now you’re sitting at a table with Walker, looking at the untouched drink in your hands.

Vodka. Bucky knows you hate vodka when it’s neat. You like the sweet drinks, the girly drinks he laughs about.

“What’s wrong?” Steve regrets his question the moment John Walker dares to put his hand on your thigh.

You tense, and uncomfortable shift in your seat. Maybe this date wasn’t the best idea. You agreed to go out with John, and even willingly entered Bucky’s club to show the very man that you moved on. (At least you like to tell yourself so.)

“Relax, and smile for me,” John’s voice hardens. This is his chance to get back at Bucky Barnes, and he won’t miss it. “You look like you’re at a funeral. Smile, you’re having the honor to be my date.”

Biting your tongue, you look anywhere but at John. He’s not as nice as you believed he was. Tonight, he showed his true face.

His hand creeps higher and under your dress. You’re about to stop his hand from slipping between your legs when he’s suddenly gone.

John makes a gurgling noise because Bucky dragged him off his chair from behind. He struggles against Bucky’s iron grip. Bucky has his metal arm wrapped around John’s throat, choking your date.

“You don’t touch her ever again,” Bucky growls in John’s ear. “And she doesn’t drink vodka, you piece of shit.”

“Buck—” Steve laughs watching John tug at Bucky’s metal arm. “I see you’ve got it handled.” He holds out his hand for you, murmuring your name. “Come with me, Y/N. This is not for you to see.”

“She’s having a strawberry daiquiri and get her some chicken parmesan. I bet that bastard didn’t order food for her,” Bucky grunts while keeping John in a chokehold.

Your heart flutters. Bucky remembered your favorite drink and food. But wait. He hurt you and broke your heart. Why would he attack your date?

“I should go home,” you slip off the chair and grab your purse. “Never call me again John.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but John gives you an angry look.

“You’ll regret fucking with me, missy.”

“You wish she’d fuck with you, but she won’t,” Bucky slams John’s head onto the table, making you shriek. Steve brings you into his arms and presses your face into his chest.

“Let’s get you to the VIP area, Y/N. You don’t want to see what happens next…”

The moment you follow Steve, Bucky smirks. He leans over John, whispering in his ear.

““Shhhhhhhhh…, don't make a scene, Walker," Bucky snarls. "If you even look her way ever again, I’ll break every bone in your body. And then, I’ll put you back together only to break them again.”

“Why am I here?” You nervously glance at Bucky. He sits next to you, pointing at the food Steve got for you. “I should head home.”

“Doll.” You whimper at the pet name. “I’m sorry…for tonight and the other night,” he grabs your hand, holding it tightly. “I tried to protect you from myself. You’re too sweet for me. A ray of sunshine and I’m…”

“A big grump,” you giggle. “I know you’re a grump.”

Bucky chuckles. You still don’t understand that he’s not a good man. He killed people, and his profession is far from legal. “Doll, you don’t understand. I got a gun and…”

Your eyes drop to his crotch. Bucky’s eyes widen when you lean closer to get a better look at his lap. “Why do you call your cock a gun?”

He laughs. Bucky wholeheartedly laughs for the first time in years.

“What I tried to tell you is that I’m a criminal with a gun. You’re a sweet girl, and too good for me. I wanted to keep you away from me, and said all those things.”

“So, you hurt me to make me leave?” You sniffle. “Why? If you don’t even like me.”

“I like you too much, doll,” he whispers in your ear, hot breath fanning over your skin. “That’s the problem.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Bucky laughs. Not even the toughest criminals dared to call James Buchanan Barnes an idiot. “You’ve got balls, Y/N. No one ever called me an idiot.”

“You deserve that much,” you pull away and cross your arms over your chest. “What kind of man does things like that? How could you do this to me? I didn’t leave my place for weeks, hiding in my bedroom.”

“I wanted to keep you safe, only for you to walk right into John Walker’s trap.” He huffs. “I guess to keep you safe, I must keep you around from now on…”

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[awkwardandeccentric]

We need to talk about how Stolas doesn’t have a single jealous bone in his body.

My birb husband went to a party with 100+ people who all have had sex with Blitz. The only negative emotions he feels are annoyance at having been invited at all and uncomfortable because he’s such a wallflower. But he doesn’t have any feeling of possessiveness towards Blitz. Blitz is his own person, they were never exclusive, and Stolas has figured out a long time ago that Blitz likes being a huge slut. He even has fun because he doesn’t view any of them as competition or like they took something that belongs to him.

But Blitz will growl and bark like a dog at the IDEA that ANYONE would be sexually attracted to birb husband. ‘No! Bird brain is mine! MINE!’

It’s such an interesting detail because Stolas has contradictory levels of maturity. He’s simultaneously emotionally stunted and a wise soul. But he is mature enough to know you can’t own another person and jealousy is beneath him. Despite all Blitz’s proclamations, Stolas never viewed him as an object. But Blitz views Stolas as his. He was ready to start knawing at Better Than Blitzø guy’s leg for kissing his birb. Jealousy is inherently objectifying. ‘You’re trying to take this thing that belongs to me.’

So…more projection, maybe?

Stolas is also mature enough to know he doesn’t love Blitz. He’s always said he ‘cares deeply’ for Blitz. Because that awful night at Ozzie’s reminded him that he doesn’t actually know this guy all that well. He wants to know this guy…but he doesn’t. Blitz is the one who brings up love. Blitz is the one who is surprised when Stolas is a talented singer. Blitz is the one who didn’t know that Stolas can drink most people under the table.

Idk. Just something noteworthy to me. Another example of reversed expectations. The rich, privileged kid never getting weird about Blitz having 100+ sexual partners (and those are only the people who showed up) and Blitz, the poor scrappy one frothing at the mouth when someone touches his birb.

[rosesnbooks]

Gemini placements

disclaimer: i am not a professional, these are just my observations that i have accumulated over the years

🌀sun in gemini-i think that people usually form strong opinions about them. definitely not the type to be seen as wallflowers. they are naturally curious and they're either shy or like to shine in the spotlight, depends on other placements. whenever they speak, people listen to them and often find them charming and funny. i think their personalities can seem intense which is why they're not for everybody, but they're not easy to read. they are adaptable and knowledgable about things that interest them. if they like to talk to you about their thoughts and ideas, you must be special to them. honestly, they have no patience for people who try to waste their time and act fake around them. they can conceal their personalities around those they do not trust.

🧞‍♀️moon in gemini-they have a lot on their minds and they feel the best when they process their emotions verbally, whether through writing or talking to someone. they probably enjoy talking to those closest to them about their emotions, but some tend to have better personal "enlightenment" when they process things in writing. their memory is amazing and they are very logical. some try to dissect their emotions outloud, while others try to supress them. they can talk about deep issues and then joke around in a matter of seconds, they're quite adaptable. they can get stuck in their head and overthink things which leads to a lot of negative emotions that they wanted to avoid in the first place. can be insensitive sometimes when it comes to analyzing other's emotions because they approach it from a logical perspective because they want to be reasonable, which may sometimes backfire or provide as good advice. unsurprisingly, they are good with words. they are emotionally connected to their moms. their moms might have been youthful, curious, and adaptable when they were little.

💠rising/ascendant in gemini-they are, in my opinion, hard to notice! they definitely have a youthful appearance and attitude as many claim, but it's not easy to spot them because of their adaptability, unless you really observe them in the wild among different types of people lol. i'll repeat this quality a lot in this post, but they too are very curious. some may not talk much, but once you ask them about something they love, you'll see that sparkle in their eyes and the yapper will awake. may appear fake while they are trying to see if they like you, but they're just protecting themselves. if they want to create a fake persona tho, they can do it easily. they explore their identities often and try to figure out who they are, and may get confused because they change rapidly. they express themselves with their entire body lmao, especially when they are enjoying themselves. can get strong energy outbursts. they are not big fans of routine and following the rules strictly. they have a specific style most of the time, but they like to surprise themselves from time to time, to the point of confusing others haha

🐦mercury in gemini-they are light-hearted and try not to take things too seriously in life. many like to read and talk with open-minded people and to those with whom they share similar attitudes. they are quick-witted and may not open up easily about their emotions and share their vulnerable side with others, so actually a few people know their true identities. this also gives them an air of mystery. the charm is really charming with this placement lol. very creative as well. but when they finally open up about their emotions and thoughts, they reveal their complex and beautiful souls. they also choose their words carefully whenever they talk about serious matters. they are calculated and observant, even when they seem relaxed...they are processing everything others say and do, as well as their surroundings in general

💙venus in gemini-so, so flirty, even when that's not their intention. they like people that seem interesting and talkative. they seek out good conversationalists. they want partners who are always ready do adapt and explore, and those who are fearful of changes/passive are not appealing to them. unless they find someone that fits their criteria, makes them laugh and feel excited, they won't settle down and they'll seek excitement in flings. romance and love seem so fun to them so they want to enjoy themselves while exploring these concepts. they can be immature at times and a bit superficial. humor is of utmost importance! they need it in their daily lives and relationships with others. they remind me of young love, especially high school and college. they are good with people, so they are often adored. freedom and space: a must for them. without it, they feel suffocated and become bolters.

💿mars in gemini-they have so much energy and they sometimes don't know what to do with it. they cannot sit still for the life of them. they can have mood swings. they experience stress or anxiety but they have a highly adaptable nature and manage to do everything eventually. they are often good at different things, whether in natural sciences or more creative fields. not all of them look super youthful but their energy appears young and lively. and they serve visuals! their personal style and face card are truly amazing. they are really intelligent and quick with their responses, and they need mental stimulation most of the time. they come up with many ideas and creative solutions. it may be challenging for them to find something they'll stick with for a long time because they crave change. they have to be careful with handling distractions!! careers that don't allow them enough passion, mental stimulation, and flexibility literally drain their energy.

🔵jupiter in gemini-their communication skills get them far in life! they process a lot of information without difficulties and they are fun to be around. once again, they also love to express themselves verbally, so writing or in general having to perform among people is something they are good at. they like to meet different people that catch their interest, but they try to surround themselves with those who don't take life too seriously. this is especially true for those who may struggle with their stress and overthinking tendencies, so they like those who make them laugh and relax. their memory is excellent, to the degree that some remember dates of even minor events, especially if they are related to people they had a connection with at one point. music also triggers a lot of memories

🫐saturn in gemini-they have so much to say but there are some things holding them back, whether it is related to speech impediments or general insecurity, they keep a lot to themselves. that's why they may be harder to figure out. make no mistake, they are very clever and have different talents. they can be good with practical things in life and technology. they also pressure themselves to be as confident, practical/powerful as possible, but they need to embrace their curious and flexible side. following a routine is not their favorite thing to do and they absolutely despise small talk and want to delve into deeper topics. they have a strong desire for excelling in their communication skills

©rosesnbooks

[the-fiction-witch]

The Event

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut

I stood as I frequently did, in the corner of the impressive room doing my best to be a lady observing my etiquette rules while remaining a wallflower not desiring anyone's attention. I avoided people as if they harboured an epidemic, I dodged everyone's gazes in the hope they would reciprocate such a gesture and avoid my own in turn. But people scrutinised me, my hair, my dress, my nails, all of which would be deemed unbecoming of a lady such as myself but I despised everything about how I dressed tonight, and wanted nothing more than to be back in my grungy overalls. I noticed often glares and gossip among themselves at my expense, I loathed being any type of subject and a subject of hypothesis was the worst thing to me. With a look, a smile, and a wrong-placed word everyone commences to make assumptions about you. 

They all knew I was getting too old to be unmarried, but I had little intention to do so, I disliked marriage even as a concept, but I knew the talk my dislike would stir in the general people of Port Victory, 

I disregarded such whispers and sipped my drink, my one prize for attending this mess, but I heard a voice which caused me to roll my eyes and my very soul hurt, if it had been socially acceptable and not caused a scene chitchatted over the bridge tables for the next year, I would have tossed my crystal glass and its contents into the face that homed that voice maybe the glass makes its way into his skin, I’d like to see him smirk and sweet talk himself out of that one, 

"Good evening Miss Y/l/n" He flirtatiously smiled as he joined my wall, 

"Good evening Dr Dawkins" I Glared darting for a path to try to escape this exchange,

"Another drink?"

"No thank you,"

“Aww, why not?”

“I don’t trust you.” I snapped,

“You trust anyone here?”

“...No,”

“Then I’m the most trustworthy here,” he winked, 

“By a thin grace Doctor,” I answered, 

“Fair enough” He chuckled, "Anyway, do exonerate myself for that of my so bolt words miss Y/l/n, despite that It has reached my engagement of yourselves contemporary negligence to chaperone, accompany let alone arrive to particular occurrences well documented on the social calendar.”

I grimaced at him, “You proud of yourself?”

“I admit a little.” He expressed with a cocky smile, “Took me bloody hours to remember that lot.” 

“Well, Pray tell, myself potentially desire yourself to maintain determined memorised vocabulary and phrasing, of aforesaid salutations and deteriorations, succeeding pleasantries of the day, as it rightly is the appropriate, reasonable and accurate manner in which we as guests and courtesies conveyed to articulate the manner of our specialities,” I smirked back, 

He looked at me like I’d just spoken Aramaic to him, “I ain’t that good.” He laughed as he sipped his drink. “There a translation of all that?”

“You best get good. It’s how we're meant to talk to each other.”

“Meant to doesn’t mean we have to.” 

“You wish to supply chatter to the masses?”

“I couldn’t give a toss,” he said, 

"Silence is the prevention of all talk, Dr Dawkins" I told him, 

"Indeed it is, seldom seen in this day" he laughed, “However, whether we talk or not even just me being stood here is enough to draw talk.”

“You’re correct. So you should go.”

“I think I’ll stay.”

“Why?”

“Give their boring arse’s something to talk about tonight after dinner.”

“I suppose,”

“Accept that we are talked about you and I both, we are both watched like hawks don’t you think bells toll when they see us together.” 

“It’s the sort of bells that worry me.”

“As do they worry me.” he said softly he took my hand and kissed it, “But I don’t want that to stop me from talking to a pretty girl like you y/n.”

“That’s sweet Jack, but I do not want to fuel talk,” 

"I understand, unmarried girl in conversation with an unmarried man. Unchaperoned, unwatched, alone in a quiet corner, Humm… they’d be rife with theories about us," he smirked,

"Precisely," I nodded, “And such theories are unwanted.”

“But not preventable Y/n.”

“Shouldn’t you be busy Jack?” I asked changing the subject, 

“Busy?”

“An Unmarried man such as yourself, attending such an event full of eligible ladies.”

“Eligible ladies? Oh, leave of it y/n.”

“I won’t, you know how they speak of you.”

“Humm Call me a siron, mutton monger…”

“The Bachelor confirmed a thousand times over.”

“Say’s the spinster,” he smirked, 

“So? Should one not be at least attempting to be seen as changing it? To be at least faking that you are talking to pretty young things?”

"I am,"

"You need a new wife Jack. They’ll talk forever if you don’t" I told him, “You don’t want them to call you a Bachelor forever do you?”

“I don’t know, I rather like it.” He said, “Then shouldn’t you be doing the rounds? Trying to trap yourself in a husband to make them stop calling you a spinster?”

“I rather like it, a certain pride in… remaining free and uncaptured so long.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, I feel that way too.” He nodded, 

“But… don’t you long for some pretty girl to warm your bed?”

“I have no issues in that regard, and we both know it.” He smirked his hand slipping behind my dress to move close and pinch my ass,

“Jack!” I whispered, 

“And I know you don’t have any… longing need for some pretty boy to warm your bed.”

“I do not know what you are referring to.” I answered playfully, 

“No?” he smirked moving closer to whisper, “Then I beseech you to articulate, whomsoever’s a faultless, flawless, adorable, precious, titillating, salacious, alluring, seductive, salacious, curved ass” He whispered spanking my ass with each adjective that left his lips, “That ensured did myself observe so elegantly, gracefully and exquisitely clambering herself to escape my bed at daylight?” 

“Perhaps one of our pretty girls,” I smirked back trying not to give myself away,

“So you're telling me I lift this dress? I won’t see the red sore cheeks, the bruising nail marks, the tender bite I left on… that girl, last night?” 

“Well, a man could never lift a lady's dress in such a public social event,” I said, 

“Yeah? Try me beautiful,” he smirked, his hand as sneakily as possible finding its way under my dress and he immediately stroked my ass, “Humm, right where I left you.” He smirked running his fingers across his bite mark from last night, even if I had to hide my excitement and my pain as his hand back on my red raw skin. “You wanna be prim and proper you go ahead Y/n, I have something to entertain me.” He smirked his hand giving my ass a firm spank before moving down between my legs, he stroked his fingers across my labia gathering wetness on his fingers, I shot him a glare but he merely smirked back at me, as his index and a middle finger found there way inside me, I gasped but did my best to hide my blushing face, looking across this high social event knowing the sort of trouble we’d be in if anyone saw us like this. The etiquette rules don’t even allow hand-holding and kissing in public let alone him shoving his fingers inside me. And I know him well enough to know this would not be the end of it, and he’d have me bent over the bar table if he could just to make a point. But he was merciless with me not helped by the smirk on his face only growing the longer this went on amused by my flustered reaction and attempts to keep up appearances. 

“Uhhh Jack-” I gasped, unable to hold back,

“Humm… think how it would fuel talk Y/n. I can hear it now, young ladies talking over bridge tables of the latest social event, discussing us. Asking one another if they too saw the devilish sight in a dark consorted corner of the party.” He growled in my ear close enough I could feel his breath, “How the charming captivating, ravishing, exquisite, Spinster Miss Y/l/n was attended panting and lamenting in the epicentre of the event, how all those in attendance at the event bore witness to her gagging the name of the bachelor doctor Dawkins, as his appendages where caught inside her most intimate place, pleasuring her, and satisfying her, so considerably that she commenced to trickle down her legs form a puddle on the newly waxed floor.” 

“I do hope you mean your fingers Jack.”

“We both know I don’t.” He growled kissing my jaw, “Now, either stand in front of me, bend over and be a good quiet little girl or let’s get out of here and I’ll raw dog you in the carriage instead?”

I forced his hand away quickly before I made more noise, “Carriage. Five minutes.” I demanded, going to fetch my coat. 

[sturniolosiphone]

“I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive”

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[fumifooms]

Ok maybe kinda of a weird question you don't have to answer if you don't want to but I've seen some people saying that Chilchuck is canonically misogynistic so, as the Chilchuck especialist, do you have an opinion about that?

Anon you are brave and I love you. Listen if you, person reading this, get peeved or upset when people say Chilchuck might have had not insignificant flaws as a father and husband then probably stop reading here, we will be looking at Chilchuck like a petri dish and defile his pristine allure. Tldr: yes but actually no but really both at the same time aka people & social dynamics are complex and please let your blorbos be flawed. With that said I will be pretty casual and playful if that wasn’t clear already, sorry.

"Aren’t you happy to be in a harem party" "No it’s soul-crushing save me". Toshiro has been drinking his fear women juice since he was young, surrounded by an assassin nanny and her fellow assassin girlies, meanwhile Chilchuck having flashbacks of getting wrung out by his 4 women household…

Waiting on people is something we see he hates doing a couple times throughout canon and extras, here and how he says "it’s not a date" -bless his summer child heart- he frames being slow to get ready as a gendered trait to have? But I can forgive him for this one because honestly the framing of the whole page leans into that, it’s kinda questionable if we’re being highly critical of anything misogynistic or regressive. But it itself is the classic subversive "Women are desirable wallflowers— Wrong! They are a monstrous ruthless force that wears on the mind, body and soul" trope. I don’t fault Kui though, I got giggles from it, it makes sense for everyone’s characters, and Kui has never shied from gendered dynamics in her worldbuilding & characters so it’s not like she’ll write as if sex changes nothing and no one has opinions about it.

Alright alright let’s step back from analyzing this page specifically and get back to the question, is Chilchuck canonically misogynistic? It’s a complex question not because we don’t have hints but because it’s a very black and white answer to give and because misogynistic can be very wide or pretty narrow depending on how the term is applied.

What I would say? Yes, he is, in a realistic way that doesn’t automatically make him a piece of shit, though that doesn’t mean it isn’t uncomfortable or harmful. On the spectrum of misogyny he classifies to me as "It’s in the normalized lighthearted way of being a horny uncle who’s a little too loose about it around the dinner table", he’s a solid "He wants to treat women as pieces of meat and jokes about it but in actuality he’s a gentleman and a family careerman who has a job so he don’t really care about that rn".

Going back to Toshiro’s party, Chilchuck being weird about it being full of women doesn’t even happen only once but TWICE. I made a compilation of every time he’s crass, happens less than you might expect but the overall picture it gives throughout reading the manga is pretty straightforward. Repeatedly he’s shown to be dirty-minded and shown to objectify & sexualize women both lightheartedly and unprompted. They’re a punchline and they’re eye candy and it’s "of COURSE my succubus would be young women, of COURSE women would desire a muscled statue’s [redacted], of COURSE women are sexual beings and of course I am attracted to them".

Dungeon Meshi doesn’t bring up sexuality much and gendered dynamics tend to be more subtle than you’d expect from media in general, so there’s that, but I honestly struggle to think of any character that acts less normal about women existing than him. Like yeah he’s joking but Hien, Benichidori, Inutade and Maizuru were just breathing and doing their jobs. Who else’s misogynistic uhh, that guy working for the shadow governor that licks Cithis’ ear when she’s bound in ropes? The sheer jump from ‘makes demeaning jokes about women’ to ‘assaulter’ between these two, god.

Honestly it does feel odd to me that he’d be kinda demeaning like that about women even in a workplace setting —Chilchuck the union man out of everyone?— but Kui has spoken man idk, think what you will don’t shoot the messenger. It’s not like he’s weird about Namari? I guess he respects her too much- Wait that sounded wrong. Maybe it’s literally just because she and the other women party members are his direct coworkers, in line with his rule and all? But yeah, even if he canonically had a thing for blondes and pretty young women he has managed to only tease Marcille ceaselessly for fun & entertainment and make her hair extra shiny as his shapeshifter, you get a good behavior star there Chilchuck. He complains on waiting for Marcille to get ready in the barometz chapter and the first anime ED but he also does with Laios when he’s late to meet up the party in extras. He constantly pulls on Marcille to get her to safety as if she can’t protect herself but she’s referred to as clumsy a lot so he has that justified reasoning. He constantly berates everyone so no point to make there. He undermines Marcille’s opinions often but it’s because he dislikes mages and elves and idealism. Clearly Chilchuck knows women can be capable and clearly he can have women coworkers (and friends! Again, Namari) without belittling or sexualizing them, clearly he can be normal about women and knows that some of his attitude can be inappropriate. It’s just harmless fun to him, that he keeps for occasional playful banter and taverns and the ‘right’ moods.

And as I mentioned earlier! Chilchuck is also pretty gentlemanly and protective. As always desires vs wants and instinct vs rationality show up as themes. Yes his succubus aka his ideal, the deepest allure he can imagine, is beautiful naked women, but a chapter just before that was the bicorn, all about how faithful and virtuous he is, how his heart’s in the right place. His brain is virtuous but his heart is monkey. My point is that when it counts, aka 90% of the time and when things are serious, we don’t see signs of sexist bias and he treats women well. Often takes on a protector role or at the least takes them seriously, even Benichidori. He doesn’t want to hurt women or thinks they’re insignificant or anything. He’ll give a handkerchief to a woman in need with a slimy face.

Okay okay this is really entering speculation territory but in my own tally, the way he dismissed his wife’s ‘bad mood’ as some meaningless tantrum that he shouldn’t think any more deeply about, him starting out not reaching out to her as a resentful silent treatment, and her getting dissatisfied in the first place enough to leave makes me think he took her for granted and was kinda dismissive of her in general. Marcille’s theorical scenario is hypothetical and factually untrue at least in parts, but if we do follow it, him forgetting he’s out with his wife for once (in the precious counted time he’s home spending time with her) and not paying attention to her all outing, resulting in her being left out of conversations and just an ornament beside him the way she might have felt for a long time as his housewife waiting home for him to come back………

Editing this paragraph in: Okay I don’t know how I missed mentioning this but, when he’s asked why his wife left him, Chilchuck literally point blank thinks that being thought to have cheated on his wife is LESS SHAMEFUL than not knowing the reason why (due to poor communication skills or whatnot). It’s so ridiculous that it can be hard to see beyond it as a gag or twist, but make of this what you will but this is not a great look for his priorities and his view of women especially in regards to toxic masculinity, good lord. When I talk about him having a sense of being entitled to his wife and dismissive of her emotions that’s sort of what I mean. He thinks it’s better for people to think he mistreated his wife and did something terrible than just failed at keeping her affection for reasons he doesn’t grasp. His pride, both in giving her the silent treatment and doing damage control when talking about it to others like Marcille and coworkers, takes priority over their relationship and love.

Half-foots seem to be patriarchal. The last section of this essay’s chapter (not by me!) + combing through its half-foot chapter should give you insight on that if you want. It’s in their patronymic, it’s in the way marriage seems very important especially for women, and it’s in the implied gender roles, being a housewife whose life revolves around raising her husband’s kids and taling care of the family home waiting for her husband who’s out working to come back. I think Chilchuck is a bit a result of his environment and upbringing in that way, that most of the misogyny is internalized and subconscious and passive, it’s taking his wife for granted because not only does she trust her, his most precious person he’s known since he was a kid, but because she’s his wife, his woman, conceptually something that’s unwaveringly devoted, something that is very valued and enforced in half-foot communities. Here’s a short post on half-foot family bonds culturally + here’s a post on marriage and half-foots for more. The community aspect of half-foots is very strong, which makes sense especially for how empoverished and discriminated against they are, which does come at the expense of not unlike dwarves (dwarves which half-foots idolize) having more pressure to fit in and have a good reputation to not be cast out and have no support lines. By being scared and needing stability people will often be more conservative, etc etc, though the reverse is also often true, like Chilchuck with his union. But yes Chilchuck seems to have many biases he clings onto, harsh on especially Marcille and Laios, Marcille for her idealism, race and magic meanwhile Laios for his lack of social skills and ‘reckless’ behavior.

He also does the classic "Don’t you dare date my daughter!!", though it’s a bit up in the air because he only gets agitated about coworkers being suitors, not nearly as hostile to the idea when it’s some nameless dwarf. But y’know when a guy assumes every men is as horny and sleazy as they are so they’re like "never trust men"… Chilchuck does embody a lot the tropes of just, the everyday flawed middle aged man. The absentee father and careerman husband who does care despite it all. Disillusioned grumpy old man. Old divorced drunkard joe with a thing for cute young blonde women, as a friend put it.

We know Kui subverses tropes a lot, I definitely think Kui leans into these if nothing else for the bit. He’s tropes of the strict family Father, man doing inappropriate jokes around a beer with his drinking buddies, working man exhausted and frustrated by his job, midlife crisis. Also because of how he acts with Marcille, I always say he’s the boy on the playground pulling on the pigtails of his girl friend bc he thinks it’s funny. Because he thinks she’s pretty.

So point blank, Chilchuck respects women as individuals but he can get a little lost in the sauce when thinking about women in general and jumps to sexualizing them in ways that can be objectifying and dismissive. Casual lowkey misogyny for the bit that may or may not slip into non-jokes as well sometimes when it comes to seeing women as something inherently to defend or take for granted, though he’s well-meaning. He engages in gender roles of "men should be strong and burly" and "daughters should listen to their fathers’ opinion before dating a guy". A guy engaging in patriarchy without thinking much of it y’know, more or less passive and unaware. He’s good in economic and human rights issues but would not win the political correctness medal (though he does care about optics and is very conscious of appearing as upstanding and innocent with the elves or Toshiro’s and Kabru’s parties to avoid getting thrown in jail. Overcompensating for half-foot criminal reputations etc etc. Post on that here).

Do I believe Chilchuck would march for women’s rights? Yes. Do I believe he would make ‘ye old ball and chain’ and ‘my wife’ and ‘ah women’ jokes? Yes. Do I believe he would punch anyone making one such jokes about his wife or daughters? Yes.

I was pretty flippant bc honestly Chilchuck the Sleazy Horny Old Man is hilarious to me but yes hopefully the post was decent. "How could I be sexist? I love bitches"

[punkpandapatrixk]

🥧The Love You Spiritually Deserve ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?’

‘Well…

We accept the love we think we deserve.’

‘Can we make them know that they deserve more?’

‘We can try.’

– Charlie asking his teacher in The Perks of Being a Wallflower

SONG for all piles: Coming Home by NCT U

MOVIE for all piles: My Week with Marilyn (2011)

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Pile 1 – A Love that Helps You Remember How Precious of a Darling You Are

VIBE: Promise by Jimin

to be in Love with the right person – 2 of Wands

The moment your sweet, sweet Heart recognises the person who’s right for you, baby, it’s all calm sunshine in your world🌤This person has a most peculiar ability to bring back nostalgic senses and memories of what you used to enjoy as a child. These are your Heart’s most honest desires that you might’ve suppressed or avoided to some extent, in exchange for being practical. You live in a world that’s given you reasons to abandon your own dreams in order to become practical and a responsible member of society. In many ways, I see you’ve tried to fit in and follow the expectations of a normal society.

But when you come in touch with the essence of this person who’s just right for you, everything changes. Suddenly, the scales blinding your eyes fall off and now you see the real colours of the world—your world. Literally this person brought your world back from the dead. Something about them rejuvenates your faith in the world you’re innately able to create for yourself. And just like that, you gradually move towards changing small aspects of your everyday Life to manifest a world of your dreams~🌷

You may return to old hobbies—perhaps resume your old piano lessons; you open up your dusty rice cooker recipe books (LOL) and start cooking again; you start singing again or you may finally join that ballet class you’ve always wanted to do when you were a child, irrespective of your age now. This person who’s just the right person for you is truly an angelic Human whose essence brings back peace of mind, Love (first and foremost for yourself), serenity, clarity, and most importantly, a hunger for Life and its endless possibilities🎋

the spiritual Home in your heart – 4 of Cups

I sense that your Soul is incredibly sensitive. You’ve probably come from other realms where the inhabitants are peaceful, and I feel strongly that you’ve often been gardeners and carers of animals in those other lives heheh You’re so spiritually in tune with the moods and sorrows of not only the people around you but also the world in general. You’re the type of person who sees a world that needs healing. You see a world needing more kindness, alas, your Kindness was taken advantage of and spat on. Then you decided to hide away and avoid people as much as possible.

Do you feel like you enjoy the company of animals, plants, and rocks more than Humans? Yeah, you can sense the spirit of non-Human creatures and you find non-Humans to be the gentlest, most understanding creatures. I think you should like to watch Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbour Totoro🐼I personally think you’re the type that would find comfort in a lot of Miyazaki Hayao’s movies because they depict the innocence of children and how they see the world with an eye for adventure. As flawed as they can be, characters in Miyazaki’s movies are understandably human and you desperately want to believe in a world that’s more forgiving like that.

Due to the nature of your emotions, you’ve often had these ebbs and flows of faith in your ability to manifest a world of kindness and gentleness that you’ve always envisioned for yourself. It’s like a painful tug o’ war between your faith in yourself and the world’s pressure for you to conform. But trust me, anybody who makes you question your values, dreams, visions, missions, and goals, are not your people. The right person(s) for you is someone whose heart is so kind and wide that in their embrace you are reminded of everything good that you deserve to see manifest in your own Universe.

up your Self-Love game! – 9 of Pentacles Rx

Ooh, I know you can’t stop admiring this person’s remarkably gorgeous smile~ But do you have any semblance of an idea why your Soul finds them so irresistibly attractive? Your person who lights up your dark horizon is a freaking multitalented King or Queen whose thirst for Life inspires a hidden courage buried deep within your psyche. When you look at them or hear their stories, you can’t help but notice that this is also a flawed human who’s beautifully aware of their own failings and shortcomings, but they work really hard at becoming a nobler version of themselves. A more astonishing expression of what’s truly good about them as a human being, in spite of everything.

Whereas you’ve tried to build an independent Life away from most Humans, this person helps you see that there is still good in trying to believe in Humanity. That there is still hope because after all the world is so big and there are many people in it. I have a feeling your person is able to hold such a positive outlook because they’ve been blessed enough with good company, maybe good family, too. So they naturally have this ability to balance the way they perceive bad people in the world.

I think their people are going to be your people as well. Their friends and family are going to admire you so much and be grateful that you’ve appeared in the Life of your person and even theirs. They are glad you’ve found each other, like they really think you’re good for each other as you’re able to hold Light for each other. You literally heal each other. Your person’s people, too, are going to see you for all the good that you are. A union with this person and their friends and family is going to remind you what a precious and talented darling you really are🧸

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻🧡

remembering your innate goodness – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Prosperity

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Pile 2 – A Love that Honours Your Innocent Rose-Tinted Glasses

VIBE: OMG by NewJeans

to be in Love with the right person – Knight of Cups

When your gentle Heart rests in the embrace of the person who’s right for you, you will know, this is a Soulmate. There’s no other explanation. You feel a strong sense of nostalgia, as if having known this person in another dimension. And when you recognise each other, it feels like, ‘Oh hey! I know you! Hmm…’ and your conversation flows so naturally as if catching up with an old, old soul friend~

Being with this person, you want to cuddle all the time. But not the oddly lustful or desperately clingy type. No, no, baby, this is pure, innocent, childlike Love. When your heart is attracted to the person whose Soul resembles your own, it’s pure bliss, comfort, safety. I think you’ll want to have a home with this person. You’ll want to build a home with them that reminds you both of the Home World your Souls came from. It’ll be a lot of fun! Because the person who’s just right for you also has the same fairy-like mind, sense and perception as you.

And holy cow you know what that means—this is someone who’s just as sensitive and considerate as you. They will really honour your rose-tinted glasses and not make you feel infantilised for the innocence you’ve worked hard to maintain. This is someone sweet, gentle, soft-spoken, incredibly polite accompanied by an out-of-place sense of humour, and a little awkward from time to time… depending on situation, I guess🦄

To be in love with the right person… you finally feel truly, genuinely seen for the first time. It feels cosy to not have to explain yourself exhaustively with words that often fail your true meaning🦦

the spiritual Home in your heart – Page of Wands Rx

Unlike most people, you’re not super ambitious or even industrious about most things. Others may perceive you as ‘lazy’ but the truth is you’re an Old Soul that remembers a time when human beings were able to live at a more comfortable pace. You can’t really bring yourself to fit in this new pace—the modern pace—because you think it’s silly that people rush to their graveyards without even stopping to smell the roses. And you want to smell those roses, all the time, you want to always be aware of all the roses and jasmines and lilies.

You can’t think of another way of living your Life. You’re quite stubborn about it because you believe in your own mindset. You’re actually a lot stronger than you may think. If there’s one thing you’re ambitious about, it is to maintain a world of your own aesthetic. I think you’re someone who’s deep down super aware of your birth right to live in a world of beauty. Sometimes you get confused about this whole endeavour because you feel like an alien in this strange world. But one way or another, you hold on to your own values and I think that’s super admirable.

Some of you who are younger may struggle a little bit with boundaries because you’re too kind. You’re really soft, gentle, compassionate and have an ability to welcome anybody who’s tired and weary. But often, people who are hurting and confused about their own place in the world could turn super spiteful towards those who are working on their own dream lives that do not agree with the convention. You really need to be careful with those whose envy has the potential to seep into your morphogenetic field and ruin your manifestations!

You can be super kind and still say no to those whose presence could jeopardise your peace of mind, OK? Also, I think you’ll really find respite in this beautiful playlist on YT, ‘Nakamura Yuriko Songs I Love’, when you feel a bit weary of people~

up your Self-Love game! – 6 of Cups Rx

So first of all, your generosity has a tendency of making you reminisce about the past. You sometimes miss the people who used to be there for you. This could be friends or family members. For some of you, this could even be a past significant other. You have a habit of romanticising pleasant memories you had with people whom you used to care about. This could lead you to a dangerous path of self-sabotage. You may want to sometimes text or call people who genuinely aren’t even deserving of your kindness, gentleness, or care.

To protect yourself, have the courage to completely and utterly burn the bridges to those you know are only acting as parasites in your Life. The way I see it, there really aren’t that many people who can fully understand and accept you the way your Soul Family does. So wait for them and make space for only them. And so, to make space for them, you need to vacant those who don’t belong! Blood is thicker than water? Bullshit. Soul is stronger than blood!

My advice to you is to get a pet instead so you have a company upon whom you can pour your nurture. I know you are somebody who likes to nurture and care for another being. So, this is the best course of action if you haven’t met anybody from your Soul Group🥰If not a pet, a plant works, too. Depends on what you like, really. All in all, know that you are deserving of good company that truly honours your kindness and wouldn’t take advantage of that softness.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💗

remembering your innate goodness – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Innocence

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – A Love that’s Grateful for the Fact You Were Born At All

VIBE: Kazamidori (Weather Vane) by Sakamoto Maaya

to be in Love with the right person – XI Justice Rx

Okay, you’re totally an Old Soul with an important mission, babe. I’m pretty sure you already know this. If you aren’t that aware of it yet, I’m still sure you’ve always had this feeling like you were born for a greater purpose. Like, no matter what, you just know somebody sent you here to do something amazing… but what exactly? Dunno. You’re just haunted by this feeling of having your time on Earth… timed. ‘I’ve got to hurry!’ So you scurry.

I think you’ve felt incredibly lonely for the most part of your Life on Earth. You’re an alien—actually, you’re an astronaut. Deep inside your psyche, you’ve always had this debilitating realisation of having been torn apart from your real Family. You know that your family on Earth is not your real Family. You don’t even look like them, you feel. All your wants and even value system as a person, not a single thing matches theirs. You’ve always dreamt of travelling the world over to search for your people. Doesn’t matter where; they must be somewhere. Just not anywhere near here.

Of all the piles, yours talks the most about having gone through a massive spiritual purging. At some point in Life you have or will experience this. Like a phoenix dying to itself and be reborn out of its own ashes transforming into something greater than all it’s ever been in the past. When you finally accept your magic—that you’re magic—you realise that you’ve always needed to be your own first love. The day you have/had this epiphany and come to love yourself absolutely fully is/was the day you realise that everything in the world will always be alright so long as you believe in yourself🐾

the spiritual Home in your heart – King of Cups Rx

I think you’re someone who easily falls in love with attractive people, passionate people, kindhearted people, dazzling people, generous people, talented people, and all that stuff. But… that’s all really child’s play. Puppy love, if you wanna be cute. Summer crushes, if you’re casual as fuck. But the truth is, deep, deep, deep, fucking deep somewhere in the most secret corner of your Heart, there is an essence of someone whom you’re meant to reunite with in this incarnation. Damn, you made a promise, OK? That you wouldn’t ever be, EVER, serious with anybody who’s not this person💍

Dang, the day you were born into this world, you were already married🤪You had been proposed to in the spirit realm🎎It simply wouldn’t work if it’s not your person😗And for that, I hope you honour this Love that you’re carrying in your Heart and work on your spiritual development or something, until Destiny (that tricky bitch) unites you both in the physical realm. Babe! It’s worth the wait! This is the ONLY Human on Earth who knows how to embrace all of you with all of the Love you’re so spiritually deserving🥺

A small percentage of you choosing this pile, I feel quite strongly, could decide to become a monk, nun, or any other type of a celibate person who has no business being in a romantic relationship or a sexual union with another living being. This deep Love that you carry around in your Heart is all that fuels you until the day you depart from this world. You’re deeply aware of how short a Human’s existence is and you’re looking forward ever so to the day you breathe your last breath and return to your One & Only who’s always been watching over you from the Higher Realms🎐

up your Self-Love game! – 7 of Wands Rx

With all of the above said, whichever group you resonate with, all of you choosing this pile are, again, haunted by the same feeling of needing to save the world. In a manner of speaking, because you’re an astronaut, it’s true you came here for an important Soul Mission, and for that you could ruminate too much about ways you can develop yourself to ready yourself for the world stage when the time is right. But that’s actually counterintuitive and could make your whole Earth experience miserable.

I know you find it immensely difficult to be Human… even just operating with a Human flesh bag is painful enough. Some of you may even have a chronic illness that’s constantly giving you bodily aches or that you find controlling your movements quite challenging. Perhaps issues with developmental disabilities, reduced/low dexterity, immune system diseases, dyslexia, ADHD, autism (varying spectrum), gender dysphoria, and all sorts of compatibility issues that could make Life on Earth quite unbearable to some.

Compatibility issues here means that your Soul can’t quite adapt to your Earthly body because you’re too advanced or that your Soul originates from a much purer state of being that the tragic density of this dirty Human World causes immense pressure on your whole mental and physical being. And for that, you could struggle a lot with constantly wanting to leave soon. As a way to numb yourself, you could fall into a tendency of wanting to always, constantly, tirelessly, unceasingly working on something, on yourself, as if scurrying for ways to die sooner.

But… babe… you have a place in this world. Slow down a little, allow yourself to breathe, and let the Spirit of the Planet speak its thanks and admiration for all you’ve done for Her.

COMING HOME TO YOURSELF🔻💚

remembering your innate goodness – Gold Physician (Hippocrates)

loving yourself as an act of rebellion – Priestess of Clarity

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Ok, scrap it, I'm gonna talk about Wallflower duo (Fit and Philza) and no one's gonna stop me.

They're THE duo for me. Since the day one they were inseparable always being by each other side, going on adventures together, bringing kids, sharing game breaking hacks. They honestly fall for a dynamic of "the guy with paranoia is a bestie with a dude with THE most dark secrets", but they're making it work. Philza is very paranoid and always kept an eye on his eggs, especially after Slime tried to kill Chayanne in his sleep and Quackity trying to kidnap Tallulah. Yet he gave Fit access to the kids bedroom and told everything he knew to him. And Fit responded with the same amount of trust. He is a person from 2b2t and doesn't trust a soul, but he shared every bit of info he got, and shared his secret room. It's a huge step for someone from the server, where you couldn't share even a little peak of coordinates. Yet he let Phil on the secret. Throughout all the Qsmp they were together. Fit was there when eggs first disappeared, and for presidential dinner. When Phil logged back to the server, his anarchy bestie was right there to fill him in, and even when everyone got tped out if area, Fit still somehow got back and told "I'm with you, Phil". And healed him near the end of the battle. When crow father had any meetings with someone he didn't trust (Happy pills Forever), he'd ask Fit to spy on them, and vice versa. And the last bit that makes me rotate them in my head 24/7, a cage for a cage moment. Fit always hesitated to break the rules, not to lose a job. Even for morning crew he had to be persuaded to go to the nether. But once Philza asked if he knew how to make lavacasts, he didn't ask anything. They both broke the rules together. And after crow was caught and released, our bald fella keeps an eye on him. "I know you for a long time, Phil, you're not the one to hallucinate". And this bird accident from tomorrow's stream.... Man, they're the besties. Also Fit having a micro separation anxiety attack after he lost Phil out of sight for a few seconds was as funny as it was sad.

They're in this together and they know it. They've got each other's back and are confident in each other.

And just last quote I feel describes them the best is from 10/4/2023 stream.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna piss off God again (for having a golden Apple)"

...

"You and I.. We walk into churches and they burn down just by our presence."

"This whole world will remember us" From Bonnie and Clyde the musical vibes ngl👀

[marionettedupaincheng]

see my problem is that penelope was still shoved to the side and treated as a wallflower. i wanted her to get more attention, i wanted her to be more desired than just debling. i wanted more people to see her beautiful soul and be attracted to her.

instead she still gets shoved to the side. it’s so frustrating. the amount of attention colin got? that should’ve been pen.

i wanted her to have a bigger crush on debling, i wanted to see her giddy, see her be excited over someone that wasn’t colin.

we should’ve had scenes where say debling and pen are conversing, colin strolls up bc he wants to talk to her. debling says something witty, pen bursts into giggles, colin looking incredibly hurt and jealous. instead he just goes blank faced whenever he sees pen interact with debling.

there should’ve been more recurring dream sequences where he’s intimate with pen on his own volition not right after they kissed. it gives me the vibe that he only realizes how sexually attracted to her he is after the kiss, but i think it should’ve been he sees her in her new style and is flustered. he realizes shes hot, that’s she’s more than just his little sister’s ex-bff. then starts having steamy dreams and on REPEAT.

it’s crazy bc polin do have chemistry. when they’re laughing as friends, when they’re doing the lessons but it was so minimal this season that it’s almost frustrating for me as a viewer who wants to root for penelope.

penelope should’ve been desired more and I’ll stand by it.

[silence-between-seconds]

I'm Sirius and this is my attempt at an intro post. you can call me siri ;)

pick any pronouns from: he/she/they || I'm genderfluid || INFJ

Things I love:

your mum, singing, marauders era, any and all kinds of art, poetry, books, fanfiction, the harry potter fandom (jkr can piss off tho), hozier, chappell roan, arctic monkeys, k-pop (bts, txt, svt, skz, treasure and a few more bands), renne rapp, conan gray, plushies, the moon, the stars, basically space, chai, biking, CHOCOLATE, nature, writing, badminton, musical instruments and a million little nothings

currently listening to:

Naked In Manhattan by Chappell Roan

fav authors/books:

good omens, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, books by ruskin bond, the alchemist, the zahir, ronald dahl, to kill a mockingbird, memoirs of sherlock holmes- (ok look i love reading but the last thing i read was definitely on ao3)

movies/shows:

The Owl House, Studio Ghibli, Heartstopper, Red white and royal blue, Loki, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, Night at the Museum, Marvel (not sucha fan of mcu), highschool musical (2 is my fav), Luca (2021) and most other pixar and disney movies, (i love animated movies so much)

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

this is my ao3 acc

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

@her-midas-touch is a poet and wrote this for me hehe:

Run out of metaphors great enough, my fingers paint a wraith

To faint to capture essence, mere shimmery traces of feelings

Every cheshire cat smile, every whirlwind idea, every leap of faith for every apathetic eye, missing the moment, is a soul

that sings

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

have some me core images:

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

lovely mutuals:

@good-oldfashioned-lover @her-midas-touch@daydream-of-a-wallflower@hermioneswifeee

@literallytoogaytofunction@lilbeanz@reisbackinblack@dementorfromazkaban@deprivedofbraincellsandsleep

@starryrain@lizluvscupcakes@urbanflorals @accio-sriracha@siriusly-remu

@werewolfenthusiast@none-of-it-was-accidental@feelin-sad-and-gay@jaylienpotter@illustratinglaura

@nothingtoseeherebyeexx @silverscreenlipstick @moonysversion @mochami-mochi @sleepinginmygrave

@icarus-last-fall @a-beautiful-fool @shuhuaspookie @xi-phos @here-for-a-good-time-hopefully

@stars-over-ice-cream @kaaaaaaarf @re-is-back-in-black @rookofthekingom @not-rab

@toxik-angel @marylily-my-beloved @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @strawberryapologist @m0st-ard3ntly

@cressthebest @starcrossedmoony

(i hope i got everyone?)

feel free to interact<3

mess with my friends and I will hurt you :)

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

DNIs don't work so I guess I'll just say: fuck around and find out ig

[redheadspark]

Hawuuuu can I suggest 21. "I'm so happy to have you by my side." With Druig

A/N - HAWUU! Thanks for requesting this, friend! I love writing some Druig!

Seed

Summary - Druig knows how to bring you back from being inside your head.

Warnings - Just angst and floss mixed together.

“Hold still!”

“I am!”

“You’re not!  You’re fidgety as hell!  Enough and hold still!”

Druig huffed, moving some of the ointment along his bare shoulder and near his neck where some wounds were still raw.  The one on his cheek was already healing, thanks to his Eternal energy.  But the rest of his wounds were still fresh and lingering, even when you all were far away from that beach and in a safe space at Ajak’s farmhouse.  The cool wind came through the front porch where you had Druig perched in a rocking chair, you behind him and tending to his wounds.  The rest of the family was inside, talking about the plans for the future and what they were going to do.  As much as you wanted to be part of that conversation, you had other priorities.

Your husband of 2,000 years was your priority.

Seeing him walk up to you amongst the surf along the beach made you both sigh in relief and cry at the same time.  You remember seeing Ikaris hoist him high up in the air, Druig being defenseless and unable to defend himself, it made your stomach drop.  But you let out a blood-curdling scream as Ikaris launched Druig to the ground, pelting him with his beams from his eyes with fury and intention to inflict pain on the one Pacifist in the entire group.  You’ve never felt so much anger and rage towards another person, a member of your family that you have known for centuries on end, but it was the simple fact he was trying to kill Druig and take him away from your life.  Your source of life and happiness, your husband and better half.

You would go through hell to make sure Druig stayed with you.

Now that there was peace again, along with the world being safe again from Tiamat which was now frozen as marble, you were focusing on Druig and bringing him peace.  Maybe you needed the peace too, tending to him and getting him the treatment he needed.  It was merely scrapes and a nasty bruise on his chest thanks to Ikaris, but there was a decent First Aid Kit that was in Ajak’s bathroom for you to skim through.

“How are you feeling?” You asked as you got the last of the ointment on his cheek, feeling him squint a bit as you leaned back a bit to look at your handiwork as you stood in front of him.  He was now in a loose shirt and pants, his leather jacket hung on the back of the chair and his bare feet touching the hardwood floor below him while his brown hair was flowing in the wind a bit.  He looked up at you with his piercing blue eyes, a soft smile on his face while he cocked his head at you.

“Better now, thanks to ya tendin’ to me,” He said lightly, almost trying to make it nonchalant.  You simply smiled, though Druig could see past it as he reached over to lace your fingers together.  You knew the feel of his palm against yours, the calloused fingers from building your village in the Amazon, the smoothness of his palm that showed the dips and curves that reminded you of the Milky Way, even the soft scent that he carried on his skin that was now engrained in your body and within your soul.  He was your center, your safe space.

In one word: home

He’s been your home since he first kissed you so long ago, admitting his feelings towards you one night during feasts.  You were of course surprised at the confession of his feelings, never thinking that he would look your way at any time since you were a wallflower.  But you saw the glimmer in his eyes, heard it in his tone, you even felt it in his touch as he pressed his lips against yours.  Instantly, you were a goner for him, all from a simple kiss.  It took 2,000 years, plenty of growth from the pair of you, to finally be in the spot where you were.  To read each other like a book, to know the other better than one’s self.  

“You okay?” He asked you tentatively, searching your eyes and seeing that you were a bit lost in your own mind.  You blinked, only squeezing his hand on yours and nodding slowly.  

“I’m just glad you’re here,” You replied, making it simple enough that Druig understood what you meant.  You were not one to express your emotions really well, especially when it came to how you felt about Druig.  He was more of the partner you thrived on Words of Affirmation, he would tell you day in and day out how much you meant to him and how much he loved you.  It warmed your heart to hear it, and it never got old over the centuries.  You wished you were like him when it came to expressing your feelings, but Druig never minded it.  You showed it in your actions and gestures, holding his hand and wrapping him in your arms when he seemed lost in his own mind.  

Druig got up from the chair and wrapped you close in his arms, his hand holding the back of your neck and his other arm around your waist as you clung onto him tightly.  Neither of you said a word; the only sound heard was the wind chimes and the soft grass swaying in front of the house.  Even the soft chatter from the others was evident, but not as a distraction as Druig tucked you In his arms and refused to let you go for one moment.

“I’m so happy to have ya by my side,” Druig said against your head as you tucked your head into his neck, “I’d be lost without ya, m’darlin’.  These 2,000 years have been wonderful because of ya,” 

“I feel the same way, and I almost lost all of it on that beach,” You muttered, Druig squeezing you a bit tighter as he kissed the top of your head lovingly.

“Don’t say that, it’s in the past.  I’m here, and I’m not goin’ anywhere without ya.  I swear, luv,” He swore to you as you both held each other on the porch.  You were no longer thinking about what happened on that beach, or how close you were to losing Druig.  Druig brought you out of that darkness and those worries, planting small seeds of comfort and affirmation that he knew you needed at that moment more than ever.  

He will forever sow those seeds of love for you, and you will take every piece he will give. 

The End

April Prompt Session