#and so much more honestly
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In the most insane motivation purgatory for Proximity because on the one hand I think maybe three people and a piece of lint are actively invested in it but on the other it is simultaneously a passionate and entirely earnest love letter to everything I want but have never received from a bnha fanfic and an extremely aggressive and unreserved critique of the tropes I hate
I daydream about its completion on the daily but at the same time am so painfully aware that each update will receive the attention of a single blade of grass in a flower garden that my brain will not allow me to work on it for more than three minutes a week :/
The pain of having unpopular preferences bites me in the ass yet again
#seriously proximity drives me SO insane it's like#covering the struggles inherent to parsing your identity and seeking social stability in young adulthood#dealing with generational trauma and the unavoidable complexity of weighing your parents mistakes vs their merits#finding self worth outside of the metrics through which society dictates the value of the individual#the dangers of mob mentality and the dehumanization that inevitably accompanies celebrity culture#Coping with the sudden acquisition of a mental/physical disability and grappling with a subsequent loss of independence#learning to lean on others when you've been ceaselessly conditioned since birth to view self reliance as a virtue of the highest merit#you are not the main character in anyone's story but your own and suffering is a universal truth not a get out of accountability free card#self destruction may be an attractive coping mechanism in the wake of self-blame but it is inherently cyclical and should not be indulged#some personal problems can't be solved or understood and this is shitty as hell but comfort can be found in solidarity without#comprehension or solution#people hurt you without meaning to. in fact it's very rare that people DO mean to hurt you#everyone makes mistakes and expecting perfection will always doom you to spiral without progress#some things ARE/WERE your fault and that's okay. learn from them#and so much more honestly#it's literally so personal to me and SO self indulgent but it doesn't matter I'm buckwild for it hcfhguvj
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thinking about how simon probably started to read with baz whatever he was reading, and baz is a big classic lit nerd so they probably wind up reading Frankenstein.
And they both become DEEPLY connected to the book in EXTREMELY different ways.
Baz is struck by the novel because of the inherent way Creature longs for belonging but is shunned by society for factors out of his control, features he had no say in. Baz is struck by the inherent loss in autonomy in the Creature’s existence, the loneliness of it all.
Simon is struck by the bitterness of being rejected and cast aside by the one who made you. By the way society scolds the Creature for acting the exact ways they conditioned him to behave. He’s fixated on the way that The Creature is shamed for acting humane, and shamed for acting monstrous, and shamed for acting at all. Completely reviled by his creator, despite trying at all costs to be desired. How in the Creature’s own words, Frankenstein is God and he is forced to be both Adam and Satan at once.
i think they always debrief on the novels and what they thought the most about. And they sit and argue about Frankenstein for HOURS. On Victor, on Creature, on the family, on if any character can be redeemed or forgiven.
And after they talk in circles for weeks, Baz picks up two copies the Great Gatsby and they do it all over again, because it’s their funny little bonding thing.
#lark says#simon snow is a man who would explain his emotions to baz theough fictional characters explaining theirs#i know it in my soul#he uses them as a vessel of communication because hes bad at verbalizing his thoughts and feelings#other classics i think they read together include#dorian grey. dracula. perks of being a wallflower. alice in wonderland. peter pan. walden. the giver. anything jack london wrote. brontës.#and so much more honestly#they sit on opposite ends of the couch and play footsy and read together i KNOW IT
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Yknow what- you're so right...
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#maria robotnik#2d animation#aura's art#seeing so many people like that silly doodle animation I did shocked me so much!#i've honestly been having such a rough time on my end- but seeing the support for this has helped me through it all so thank you everyone!#hopefully i will make more proper art and animations now that i'm starting to feel better!#for now- enjoy another doodle animation!
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[Toon x Mobster] drawn for fun, he doesn't know how to hold that thing wwwwww
#toon x mobster#txm#jack desmond#oc#ocs#oc art#original character#original characters#original character art#one of the main reason why I never make a rendered piece with Gavriel Huffman is because that's too much detail lmao#Jack is admittedly more fun to draw because his art style is so easy#this was inspired by the Muse Dash drawings because I've been playing it a lot lately#I honestly gotta thank Jack for helping me try and figure out how to draw using bright saturated colors again#it's been a hot while since I've done a pastel cute piece#all I've been using are desaturated colors. which isn't a bad thing but I'm starting to forget how to work with saturated colors lmao
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i hope they do actually announce a new ace attorney game but instead of anything anyone actually expects or wants its just a rhythm game where the characters dance around crime scenes.
#og post#My art#Ace Attorney#AA#prosecutor godot#diego armando#franziska von karma#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#pearl fey#inspired by the persona dancing games#honestly the more i drew + thought about it the more i genuinely wanted it and it wasn't so much of a joke anymore#1k
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king and harbinger, old and young
#hi sorry i havent been animating much cuz. i didnt fucking want to#i have my major work animations to work on so its kind of. drained the fun out of it#but this doctor who audio killed me the fuck dead so uh here#spoop combining his interests again…. who woulda thunk….#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart#lmk mk#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong#qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian fanart#honestly this is less of a father/son thing and more just. kinship. if that makes sense#they are alike and wukong takes a sort of refuge in that he is not the only one out there#idk how to explain it ahsbdbjdf#also in my head this is set before mk is left at pigsy’s doorstep. idk man idk
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News spreads fast.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#I absolutely love the contrast between JGY and JGS in this scene.#While JGS is acting as an instagator and trying to fan the flames of discontent (pulling his devious (g) strings)#JGY tries to keep a fairly neutral stance. If anything he reads like someone who's attempting to chair an unruly group project.#Honestly I think this scene does so much to show us why JGY manages to become the respectable leader he does in the future.#He's actully good at leading discussions and doesn't rise to bait. He's trying to start a productive discussion with *real facts*.#There is genuine honour in his approach and he never jumps into the emotional bandwagon.#The issue at the moment is that he doesn't have same level of authority as the contrastively *worst* sect leader does.#Jin Guangshan has a very specific agenda - to gain power by throwing anyone he deems expendable into the gutter.#The story even explicitly calls him out on not being so different from Wen Rohan multiple times.#The insidious part is that he's surrounded by people who think this is all justified.#It's all about using the 'victim' narrative to leverage justification. Which I'll get into more in upcoming comics.#(cut off text in panel one is supposed to be 'dead girls walking' but I ran out of room to make that clear. whoops!)
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FNAF movie Vanessa sucks at “flirting” with Mike
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#mike schmidt#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#MORE VANESSA thoughts 🩵#You guys think Vanessa felt at all embarrassed after asking Mike to dance#like my read on that scene in retrospect is like#she was trying to manipulate him a little by flirting#BUT MIKE just didn’t take the bait at all#so she even changes gears after this less flirting and more being a friend#ITS JUST funny to think despite her trying to trick mike#she still felt a lil rejected by him BAHA#ITS HARD being a murderer accomplice out here#tbh Mike was literally too distracted by the animatronics to even process he was being flirted with#Mike having the trait of not noticing obvious flirts is honestly my favourite#dude has WAY too much on his own mind to even notice#They are silly 🩵
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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Nona the Ninth is one of my favorite books of all time. Not just because it's Locked Tomb, but it is the purest form of one of the big messages the series is trying to divulge.
The price of love is grief. We will never be free of it as long as we love anything at all. Our family, friends, our pets, even beloved media. Anything that connects that deeply to us that we love it will leave a gaping hole when it's gone.
But no one rejects loving to avoid grief. Every one of the characters holds on desperately to something they love, to levels that seem unhealthy to us. They want the perks without the cost.
John is holding on to a world and people that died 10k years ago.
The lyctors cling desperately to their cavaliers memories, to the point of being willing to end the 9 houses to honor them.
Cam held on to Pal, Pal held on to Dulcie. Harrow held on to Gideon so hard she disappeared her from her memory to avoid the grief she would pay for the privelege of caring for her.
But Nona loves indiscriminately. She loves the polluted sky, she loves the sad people, she loves the stray dogs and her friends and her teachers and Varun. She loves Pyrrhas lying ass, she loves Camilla and Palemedes, she loves crown and even cares about Judith. Nona isn't afraid of grief, because to her all that love balances it out. Nona is the only one in the end willing to pay the price for that 6 months of unconditional love. She knows from the beginning of the book that her own days are numbered, but she doesn't shy from it and avoid loving.
She loves all that much harder.
"If you could see your whole life, start to finish, would you change anything?" The movie Arrival (2016) approaches this same theme. If you knew what you'd lose, would you go back to avoid it? Would you keep away from the people and things you knew you'd lose? Would you shy away from experiencing love just because it hurts?
"Love and Freedom don't coexist, warden."
#tlt spoilers#locked tomb spoilers#tlt#locked tomb#the locked tomb#i honestly dont understand why people dont like NtN#unless all they wanted was a fun scifi adventure with queers#it is that but its also so so much more#nona the ninth
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if there is one thing I can respect about bnha it's for going yeah we're a society where almost everyone has a superpower including any number of animal based superpowers of course theres a bunny girl superhero but also the bunny girl super hero is just one of the most cool bad ass fighter superheroes ever she will break every bone in your body with her legs and there's nothing you or god can do about it
#bnha#mha#mirko#rumi usagiyama#mirko my beloved#i just i love her so much#i know why they couldnt give us more mirko#shed steal the show#but my goddddddd#did i want more mirko#honestly imo bnha did pop off with every animal based superhero#froppy gang orca hawks#if your superpower is basically i am this animal in human form#you instantly gain like 5 points of good character#oifaaaposts
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should've hate fucked ngl.
#this is my first clip studio drawing!!#i havent drawn on a tablet in yeaaaars. its been so much fun#its honestly given me a lot more energy to draw too tbh#procreate was great for the time being but drawing on a tablet is just something else#anywho i honestly wish i picked something else to make as my first drawing on that program but eh its cool#i kinda like how it came out. i think i just really struggled with pushing the values and got sloppy with the details.#art#digital art#my art 🦷#saltburn#oliver quick#felix catton
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old man yaoi
#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 spy#tf2 engineer#engiespy#tf2 engiespy#practical espionage#napoleon complex#rahhh more gay fanart#because obviously i wasnt done#i have so much more in store yall im going crazy about them theyre my roman empire#theyre so silly to me#i also just realized i colored spy's suit red instead of blue but umm feel free to pretend he just stole red's suit or something#or that they're same team#i dig both dynamics honestly#myart#my art#my 2024 art
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Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:
The confession booth scene.
Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.
Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.
All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)
Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.
Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.
The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.
Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.
Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."
The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.
Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.
The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.
Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.
The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.
Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.
A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.
The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.
That time when Dean wanted to say something and Cas was like, "It's okay, I heard your prayer." But Dean still looked like he wanted to say something important.
Amara: [about Dean] "I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except, it’s cloaked in shame.”
If you want to have a more expansive list, @destiel-is-real-idgaf added to this one quite nicely.
#i'm not even trying to prove a point#I'm just genuinely confused as to what the heck these scenes were supposed to be if dean is not bi#the fact that dean was the best written bi character who struggles with internalized homophobia I have ever seen and it was an accident#insane#dean and cas had the best relationship development I have ever seen#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#dean is bi#bi dean#bi dean winchester#they did my son so dirty#he grew so much over the seasons#without his dad around to force toxic masculinity#they let him be dorky#goofy#geeky#good at cooking#but didn't let him be bi#i will be adding more to the list#the title is a bit of a hyperbole#some of these do make sense with Dean being straight#but they're honestly pushing it
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Oliver correcting the woman during the interview and taking a moment to pause and reflect and saying “uncovered about himself, he discovered in his mid thirties now that he identifies as bisexual” in regards to Buck’s sexuality on the show when responding back after she had said “you had to switch roles. your sexuality changed on the show which was a really big turning point” like bless that man so much he cares so much about the representation and always since day one defending bisexual Buck like we truly are blessed having Oliver playing our bisexual icon Buck 🥹🩷💜💙
#don’t understand why the interview ended with that statement being said and honestly why he did the interview in the first place like okay#oliver stark and always being so caring about anything said about bisexual buck I adore that man so much#oliver stark#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#bi buck#bisexual buck#911#911 abc#911 on abc#bisexual#bisexuality#more of steph’s random thoughts
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house tour :)
bonus art, lossy versions of the first 2 gifs
#ask to tag#unreality#flash warning#art#gif#photomanipulation#ganbreeder#<- for the creatures in the first 2 gifs#horror#surrealism#liminal spaces#weirdcore#creatures#i ended up using the non-lossy versions bc they were better for the effect i wanted#+ i wanted the last one specifically to look like it was corrupting the camera kinda like radiation#but thought id still include the lossy versions cuz theyre neat#the third gif is based off a reoccuring thing from my dreams#some sort of bright white object usually a big orb or disk#that you cant look at directly bc its so bright. its like a welding arc#you can usually touch or move it#it doesnt turn red like that in the dream or glitch out the camera tho thats just for the spooky#well the glitchyness is more bc the non-lossy version compressed the gif badly#so i figured id just play into the compression effect and make it fit the mood better#honestly turned out much cooler. limitations in art etc etc
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