#my wife's grandfather killed most of his family with a hammer

[dododan]

Ash-kore and the dimension of demons

You've already met my little goblin, it's time to meet my spider Ash-kor. He comes from a dimension where only demons live. They are divided into different castes according to the nobility of their blood and the magic they possess. In short, it can be said that they live in a world where the basic rule is that the stronger ones make the rules.

Ash-kor is a spider demon. He is a hybrid of a superior demon and a spider demon (one could say that all animal-like demons are inferior demons). Ash is a hybrid and was born of a misalliance.

His father was a behemoth and the powerful ruler of one of the territories. His name was Alto, but he was actually known as Lord Alto, ruler of one of the territories in the Fire Lands. He was different from the other rulers in that he does not profess that force can solve everything. His entire reign he tried to overturn the Old Rules.

Alto, thanks to the support of his wife, Vivien, learnt to take care of his people and ensure that every one of his subjects had a decent living. He tried not to favour the nobility and to support the slums. He had the most land as well as resources to make a difference. Other rulers did not like this. They feared that Lord Alto's actions would disrupt the Old Order and they would suffer. They did not have the courage to openly attack Alto and his family, so they hatched a conspiracy.

As Ash grew up in a loving home where respect for others was instilled in him from a young age regardless of what species of demon he was or how much magic he possessed. Unfortunately, when he was 7 years old, a conspiracy by the other 4 lords led to the burning of Ash-kor's family estate and the killing of his parents.

Ash survived miraculously, losing one arm in the process. He was rescued by his grandfather from his mother's side. He took the young and wounded Ash to the heart of the spider slums where the boy grew up. I can reveal that Ash never worked through the trauma that befell him and began to harbour hatred towards the lords for taking his family from him. He grew up planning revenge.

Vivien, Ash-kor V's mother served as a gardener in Lord Alto's manor just like the rest of her family for generations. She is a pure-blooded demon spider. They are at the bottom of the hierarchy and are usually treated as servants or slaves. Vivien was knowledgeable about plants and their properties. She knew how to brew poisons as well as medicines. She was able to pass on some of this knowledge to her son, whom she cared for very much. Vi was very attached to her son and diminutively called him Kori. Ash-kore never allowed anyone to call him that again, after seeing his parents die.

Ash is similar to his mother in many ways. Like her, he is a cobalt bird, but is distinguished by the horns he inherited from his father. It also has venomous fangs, but its venom is not as poisonous as other spiders of the species. Nevertheless, it does not lead others away.

Ash-kore possesses, or rather when he discovered his talent for magic, he was able to summon an ancient war hammer. This weapon was wielded by the previous heirs of his family. The fact that he could summon it meant a lot to him, as he remembered his father telling him about this weapon and seeing Alto train with it many times.

For now, I can reveal so much about my Ash, as I have big plans for his story. I already have a comic book written out for him. I still need to add some more details, but maybe this year the first part will come out.

For now Ash-kore will be making guest appearances in the Holly comics, but I can reveal that Holly and Ash's story, happens after this comic.

Kid

Teenage

Adult

[myhauntedsalem]

23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends

1. He doesn’t have a face

“My son from the age of three always tells me about the ‘creeper man’ who lives in my mom and dad’s bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said ‘Oh, he doesn’t have a face.’”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

“A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.”

3. Little girl ghost

“When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville Horror (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when the dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’”

4. Bad rabbit

“My cousin, when she was 5, and I was 17, had a stuffed rabbit that she talked to and carried everywhere. One day she was asleep on the couch while I was watching her, and she woke up and started yelling at her rabbit for no reason. One minute she was knocked out, the next, she’s awake, glaring at her rabbit, yelling, ‘No! You can’t do that! That’s bad! Don’t do it!’ I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. I finally just took the rabbit up to her room, and when I came back down she was asleep on the couch again. Fuck whatever that rabbit was planning on doing.”

5. Roger won’t be around anymore…

“My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and nine kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

6. A boy in the tree

“My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says, ‘What’s that boy doing up in that tree?’ There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.”

7. The bunny man

“When I was 16, I babysat twins who were in the third grade at the time. They always spoke of a man in an Easter Bunny costume, and they were terrified of him. One day I was babysitting, and one twin was in the shower. His brother and I were sitting downstairs watching television when all of the sudden, he said, ‘You need to go check on Matt.’ Seconds later, Matt yelled, ‘He’s in here!!! He’s in here!!!’ I ran upstairs, and I had to check every room before he would calm down. I’m not sure which part of the experience freaked me out the most.”

8. Poor Shaggy

When my mom was younger she had an imaginary friend named Shaggy. When she was finished with Shaggy, she ‘chopped him up and put him in the fridge.’”

9. “Smash Daddy’s head”

“When my brother was just learning how to talk he grabbed one of those small toy hammers and crawled onto the sofa where my dad was sleeping. He then leant in close and whispered one of his first sentences… ‘Smash daddy’s head’ right into his ear.”

10. Dark angels

When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!’”

11. “That’s the man”

“My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.”

12. Message from beyond

“My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say, ‘What? OK I’ll tell her.’ She then got up, came into our bedroom, and told my wife, ‘Mary says you’re doing a good job.’ Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close to that passed away.”

13. I called him Spooky Guy

“As a kid, I said that my imaginary friend was a ghost. I called him Spooky Guy and said he died in the garage of the house on the hill behind ours. I even came up with his death. He was a 16 year old who got in a car crash and walked to that house to ask to use their phone (died in the 70’s). The person lived there grabbed him and sexually abused him there and killed him. He was my imaginary friend as far back as I can remember. This scared my mom so much that she tried to look up records to see if that happened and got me a therapist.”

14. Icy wants me to tell you it will be tonight

“In high school one of my best friends had a little sister who was five or six years old. One day we stopped by his place, completely high, because he needed to get his Magic cards. While waiting for him to come downstairs his sister came up to me and said, ‘Icy told me to ask you if you know when you’re going to die.’”

I laughed nervously: morbid question, right? But I knew all about Icy, her imaginary friend. I even helped her draw a picture of him once. So I played along and said, ‘No, of course not! No one knows that. Hopefully when I’m very old.’

The girl shook her head sadly and said, ‘No, Icy wants me to tell you it’ll be tonight.’ And with that, she just walked away.”

15. It is the punishment

“I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old boy. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘Leave us. It is the punishment.’”

16. Keep kicking

“My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in New Hampshire when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.”

17. Nope

“When my boy was 4, his imaginary friend would sit in the corner of the room when you switched off the lights and light the room with red glowing eyes.”

18. They were both dead

“Kid I used to babysit had imaginary friends. They were dead. One had no head. One was an old lady. They were both bloody. The one with no head had insides sticking out of his neck.

I didn’t ask him questions about them because fuck that.”

19. Tracy

“When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, ‘Why don’t I find out more about this friend?’ So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, ‘She’s a she and she’s dead.’ And I said, ‘Does she have a job?’ And she said, ‘She does what my daddy does!’ Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. So then I said, ‘Where is your imaginary friend a police woman at?’ And she said, ‘Right next I to where my daddy is a policeman.’ But then she said, ‘I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched it when I was inside.’

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my niece’s ‘daddy.’ My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.”

20. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

“When my kid was 4, we were watching a documentary on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the TV and said, ‘That’s wrong. The boilers were on the other side. And I was right here.’ And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. ‘That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.’”

21. Emily

“When my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and I could hear my sister just screaming and screaming.”

“I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sisters little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.”

22. She floated above his bed at night

“When my younger brother was around 4, he had an imaginary friend named Victoria Meadowbrooke. He told us that she was the prettiest girl ever and she floated above his bed a night.”

23. “The Evil is coming”

“When my older daughter was two or three, she used to have a couple of imaginary friends, Dodo and DeeDee. They were typical imaginary friends. She would talk to them and play with them, and tell me about their lives.

Then one day, when she was about three, she was talking on her play phone when I walked into the room. She hung up her phone and said to me (with a completely flat voice and deadpan expression): ‘The Evil is coming.’”

[whereflowersbloom]

Shadows and thorns

Part I

The ‘Princess of thorns’ they usually call her, among other names, cursed child, witch. Some said born with the gift, others the curse. The promise of a witch had been sacred for a long time. Ages before her birth, but unfortunately it comes with a high price. Her innocent mother suffered the consequences. Her dying mother weakly lifted her head to look at her, for the first and last time, a stormy night. The Queen closed her eyes, content, exhaled her last breath as the baby girl let out her first cries. Her wailing resonating through the empty halls. Born with unnatural powers, a girl with soft silver white hair, big stunning violet eyes, shinning like jewels, pale skin almost transparent and a gentle heart. Growing fast, possessing incomparable beauty, showing surprising powers that needed to be groomed with care. The people of her land utterly devastated by the loss of their last Queen. Fearing the cause. Her. Afraid of the uncertainty, no sovereign, the birth of a cursed child, with tremendous powers. A witch. Her people talked. She must be hidden from the other Kingdoms, the rest of the world they decided. Forced into isolation. She spent her days secluded, in her own castle, learning everything she could about plants, and the arts of magic, devouring every book she gets her hands on. Accompanied by the animals, they do not fear her powers. And the exception of a few servants and her guardian.

She’s the sole and last daughter of Azarath. Her nation was relatively small and poor compared to others. Nothing like Nanda Parbat which was vast, rich and extensive. Now she would be traded away to secure her territory. At the age of 16 years old, John Constantine declares she’s to be married to Wallace West, nephew of the King of a Kingdom not too far from her own. The King Bartholomew had no children, so he declared Wallace his heir. Her guardian assured her, the young man was a brave and powerful warrior. He was capable of protecting her, and her powers would remain a secret to the rest of the world. He’d guard her as his queen. Constantine gave her his word.

But will he love me? A silent question her heart whispered, full of thirst for deep affection. Unlikely. Her mind answered.

Constantine meant well, she knew it. It was such a sweet and empty promise. A bittersweet kiss of destiny. She smiled faintly and thanked her guardian for staying by her side all those years. She tried to find comfort in the idea of freedom.

~~~

“You asked for me, Grandfather?” The prince asked firmly with his deep voice as he entered the throne room. He was wearing his gold and green armor, the colors of the house of Al Ghul. He looked up at the king whose wild eyes seemed to scatter, looking for something in every corner of the grand room.

Ra’s Al Ghul scorned down at his grandson and spoke heartlessly, his expression showing disdain. “I did. Your safeguards should have informed you the banquet and tournament will be held in a month.”

The prince clenched his fists in frustration and annoyance. He did not wish for this. However, fighting his grandfather on this would lead to punishment. He subdued his discontent, wearing a neutral mask. “Very well.”

Ra’s eyed his grandson suspiciously, he wasn’t showing resistance anymore. “Heed my warning boy, you will choose a suitable bride by the end of this tournaments or I’ll do it myself. If you weren’t my only heir, I’d remove you from succession.” The prince narrowed his eyes, getting the message.

He inclined his head, showing respect to his grandfather and king. “I understand.” He wondered what his ancestors would think of the cruel monster ruling the empire they had build, the whole Nanda Parbat nation called King. There wouldn’t be need to take such drastic measures, he’d find a bride at the banquet and then he’d remove his grandfather as king. It was the only hope to save his people. Avoid the war his grandfather had planned.

“Do what is expected and do not bring shame upon the Al Ghul name, boy or I’ll have you killed.” His grandfather threatened anger reflected in his eyes. “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW.” The king barked.

Damian Al Ghul bowed, not saying a single word,striding from the room, before his grandfather came up with new ways to torture him. His safeguard and spy master following, falling behind him like a shadow. Richard.

To the rest of the kingdom this tournament was the king’s way of boasting the wealth of their house, choosing a bride for the dutiful prince. To Damian and his loyal followers it was the first step in becoming the new monarch the land urgently needed, establishing his line.

A wife was all he required. Love wasn’t necessary.

~~~

Nanda Parbat was far from what she imagined it would be, larger, deep in the mountains, there were some charred ruins of epic proportions, each of its five main towers reaching into the sky. It possessed an ancient beauty. The castle was alive with activity, servants rushing past with bolts of cloth and platters of different kind of foods. Shadows as they called their assassins, sprinting back and forth with curved pieces of steel in their grip, royalty from other nations, high lords and ladies strolling the grounds, admiring the wondrous city carved into sandstone.

There she had met her betrothed, Wallace West from The Westlands. He was everything she had heard about him, rumors from commoners. Wallace was muscular and strong, with reddish locks and sparkling green eyes, he moved with the confidence of a man who knew he was the best sword in the capital, smiled at her as if he expected her to be impressed by it. Other ladies would describe him as charismatic and charming. Not her though.

Rhachel did not feel her heart hammer in her chest when she was in her future husband’s presence. She did not feel her palms sweat or heat rise to her rosy cheeks. She did not feel a ball of nerves ladies speak about, or desire and want pool in her stomach. She did not want to launch herself in his strong arms and stay there. She did not wish to engage in a conversation with him that lasted more than five minutes.

In her mind she’d gladly marry a commoner if she was in love with him. No seconds thoughts. If it meant it was her choice. Unfortunately, her duty consisted of being the wife of a prince. A queen to give him one or two heirs. That was her role to play from the moment she was born or so she had been told. She longed for freedom. Would she ever belong to herself? The wildness of her soul suffocated by the chains of her obligations screamed for release.

“You’ve been neglecting your soon to be husband.” Her guardian chastised her. “This alliance with Westlands is very important. A matter of survival.” Constantine hissed before he lowered his voice to a whisper. She felt like a mare sold to the highest bidder. She reminder herself she was doing it for her nation.

“I understand you wished for love. But it’s your duty. Azarath needs it. You may grow to like him.” John spoke directly, looking her straight in the eye. He rested a comforting hand on her bare shoulder. A gesture intended to give her hope. But I won’t, she gulped down those words that wanted to come out. She knows. Whatever he was willing to provide, he could give to her. It wouldn’t quench her heart and spirit.

With her fists clenched tightly, her blood boiling in her veins so hot it burned, a knot started to form in her throat, yet she refused to let a single teardrop leave her eyes. She was the last daughter of Azarath. She felt both anger and sadness started building up in her chest. She held her tongue. She couldn’t lose control here.

“So I have the rest of eternity to speak with him.” She says bitterly, over the muttering of the other visitors.

Rhachel saw members of the safeguard walking nearby, a man richly decorated in black and green standing in front of them, guards shadowing him, a massive sword to match his height on his hip. Midnight dark hair, olive skin and emerald eyes instantly caught her attention.

“Who is that?” Rhachel asked, fire and curiosity sparking in her eyes, pointing to the man.

Constantine snickered, pushing her hand down discreetly. “That, dearest Rae is Prince Damian Al Ghul.” Giving her a reproachful glance.

It was her first time seeing the Prince, if only she could get closer for a better look but a crowd of astonished nobles had gathered around, making it almost impossible. “I heard this tournament was a ploy for The Prince to find a bride.” She said quietly, eyes still fixed on Prince Damian, who was kissing the hand of a noble she recognized, Donna, the Amazonian princess. The epitome of a lady. She focused on the Al Ghul heir again.

She had only heard good things of the Crown Prince, Prince Damian was said to be everything the folk stories described: tall, imposing, brave and mysterious. A true maiden’s dream. He was said to be well read, chivalrous, a great swordsman, never lost a single match, loved by the commoners and nobles equally.

Her governess had taught her about all the noble families, the most important kingdoms, the lineages, everything she required to know. She read about the Al Ghul, they were said to have cursed assassins blood in their veins, with a large army of cold-blooded Assassins, called Shadows.

The moment she laid her amethyst eyes on Prince Damian she found him too beautiful. Rhachel could not imagine cursed blood or shadows being associated with him. She felt a strong and magnetic pull towards him. Questions running through her mind, if the rumors were true, if he was everything he appeared to be. Who was the real Damian Al Ghul? She shook her head, repelling those impermissible thoughts invading her. “I need some fresh air.” She let know to Constantine before leaving the palace.

~~~

The night was completely clear. The light of the moon gushed down onto Nanda Parbat and illuminated everything in such a romantic way Rhachel could not help but give a little sigh. It was so different from Azarath. Things looked entirely different in moonlight. She felt like a breath of fresh air had been blown across her caged soul. She wore her feelings upon her shoulders, carrying the weight of her duties and past. For a moment she wanted nothing but forget all about it.

Once out of the castle, she headed toward the royal stables. She looked around until she found her horse and smiled instantly. “I’m sure the stableboy will have a nice apple for you, Melchior.” she said, patting her horse’s neck and looking into his big dark red eyes. Melchior has been a gift from John after her twelfth name day. He had become her constant companion. “Maybe I can convince him to give you two apples. What do you say, my friend?” The white stallion nuzzled at her neck. “I see you’ve missed me. Two it is.”

One of the stable boys had mentioned her that buried deep in the trees there was a stream and that the banks were soft and clear enough for a horse to get up to full pace uninterrupted. Perhaps she could explore the unknown territory with Melchior tomorrow. “What do you say, want to go ride tomorrow?” Melchior exhales a deep fluttering breath through his nostrils. “I’ll make sure they give you enough apples.” Rachel promises, encouraging him. The horse seemed to sense her mood lifting and snorted in anticipation. She loved the white stallion, riding him. It gave her a sense of freedom. He’s the only one who understands she told herself.

She was running her fingers through Melchior’s hair when she hears the horse next to her own, nickering to her, as if it were calling her, seeking her attention. She looked at him, studying the beautiful creature. It was an elegant black stallion, huge, an Arabian purebred, dark as night with shinning amber eyes. Magnificent. “Hello, maybe you want some apples, too?” Rhachel smiled warmly at him. She reached out to touch him, slowly, carefully, showing him she meant no harm. The dark stallion lowers his head, allowing her to touch him. She rubbed his long neck gently. He seemed to be enjoying it. “What is your name?” She asked the horse as it were to answer her.

“I must admit I’m impressed. Goliath does not allow strangers to touch him. I’d even dare say he’s taken a liking to you.” A deep voice announced from behind her, startling her. Promply the princess whirled around to see Damian Al Ghul standing there in all his finery, watching her with an amused expression as she petted the horse and talked to it.

So first part of new AU 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🙈🙈🙈

What do you think about it? Questions, suggestions, open to anything.

@ravenfan1242 it’s here

[turqrambles]

I watched all 26 episodes of an obscure Australian cartoon in one week and I’m not okay - My journey with Wicked! (2001) PART 1

Here it is, the reason I started this blog in the first place. I need to talk about this cartoon I ran into completely by chance. 

It all started, like you would, with Tubitv.

Good ol’ Tubi, the free streaming service that makes you either an expert at being able to find diamonds in piles of garbage or a connoisseur of said garbage. It’s thanks to Tubi that I put down that I watched Alpha and Omega: Family Vacation on Letterboxd for all to see and judge, but it’s also thanks to Tubi that I finally ended up watching Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Anyhoo, one day I was browsing their family film selection when I ran into this selection. And that was the day my life changed forever.

What you see before you, posted to a streaming service accessible in the United States, is the movie adaptation of an Australian TV show that never made it to the United States, which is based off a series of Australian children’s books from the 90′s that also never made it to the United States. It made it to other territories like Germany and the United Kingdom (and it apparently did super well in France but don’t quote me on this) but the TV show ran for one year and then disappeared without a trace after one 26 episode season.

How obscure is this franchise? Well, for starters, at the time I’m writing this in 2020, the books, the TV show, and the movie all don’t have a single Wikipedia page to call their own, and the easiest way to get info about this thing is to find the (rather tiny) TvTropes page. 

Let’s just get right into this shall we.

What is Wicked!?

Before you try to be all cute and make any references to the hit musical, there’s a reason I’m putting that exclamation mark there.

Wicked! started out as a series of six children’s books written by Paul Jennings and Morris Gleitzman. I actually grabbed a kindle copy of all six books (because I’m in this thing too deep and I wanted to see how the cartoon compared with the source material) and I gotta say, they’re very charming.

The best way I can describe them is that they’re in the kid horror genre, but they’re less Goosebumps and more The Weenies book series by David Lubar in terms of gore and child endangerment. Wicked! has some artful depictions of blood and gore, but in a way that can be digested by the grade school crowd.

Being a former child, I can proudly proclaim that I would’ve adored this series when I was younger. Just look at these covers!

The plot of the books is that there’s a widower with a daughter and a divorced wife with a son who get married, and the two new step-siblings Rory and Dawn absolutely hate each other. They can’t stand the fact that their parents are getting married! Gross!

But then, on the day of their wedding, creepy things begin to happen after Rory receives an appleman doll in the mail, and then, over the course of six books, a deadly single-minded virus that feeds on hate and is targeting Rory’s bloodline begins to spread across wildlife, creating crazed mutant animals that try to kill everyone in the household. It’s up to Rory, Dawn, and Dawn’s grandfather Gramps to stop this virus before it kills Rory and his mother, and to do so, they have to seek out Rory’s father, who seems to be the mysterious cause and/or the solution to the virus.

I’m not sure how well these books did, on account of the whole “not Australian” affliction I seem to suffer from, but they seemed to do well enough to get a TV show adaptation.

And surprisingly, the TV show is a very close adaptation of the books, only they changed the plot in two big ways so that it fits an animated series with a “monster of the week” setup.

The first big change was that, of course, they toned down the blood and gore and removed the deadliness of the virus, choosing to go with a more cartoony mutagenic approach. Rory gets infected by the virus several times in the show, just like how he does in the books, but unlike the books, he never thinks that he’s going to die from it and it’s definitely treated as a more temporary thing. There’s no race against time either. Everyone is trying to live their lives except every so often, the virus shows up. A wacky cartoon virus with cartoony stakes.

That brings me to the other main change that they make in the show. Unlike the books, where the main villain is a mindless virus that feeds off of hate, an invisible foe that can only be defeated at the end of the last book with the help of Rory’s father, the TV show decides that that’s no fun and instead makes a main villain out of one of the main plot points in the books. Say hello to The Appleman. (Apple-Man? Apple Man? Fuck it, I’m going with the first one from now on)

Instead of having the virus mutate mysteriously and having the main characters constantly hypothesize what’s going to happen next, the TV show made a main villain who constantly reinvents new strains of virus in a laboratory that he set up in an abandoned refinery.

What then happens is a basic plot set-up that the show follows pretty consistently in every episode. The family is trying to do something, we get the theme for the episode, and The Appleman, who is a spiteful bastard who is trying to ruin this one family in particular (and I’ll get to that), decides to make a virus that will infect the theme of that episode.

Pretty standard cartoon stuff, right? Ah, but then you don’t realize the beauty of this show. But first, I gotta introduce the main stars of this show.

The Characters

(quick note: this bus is incredibly important to the plot, but only in the books)

First we have Rory (the boy holding up the tin) and Dawn (the mad red head).

Dawn is the step-sister who lost her mom, a bus driver, in a gruesome bus accident, Rory is the step-brother whose parents got a divorce and then his dad went missing, believed to have run away from his whole family. Both of them are meant to be the dual protagonists, but I feel that there’s just a tiny bit more focus on Rory. There’s a reason for this that I will mention later.

What is interesting to note is that they make Rory the smart, non-athletic little nerd that gets picked on a lot at school for being a dork while Dawn loves sports, is failing science, gets made fun of for not being as girly as the other girls in her class, and likes violent computer games. I wouldn’t exactly call them “fleshed out” but they did enough to make these kids feel like actual kids.

Also, they fight. Constantly. This is the main complaint of anyone who actually looks into this show judging by my brief skimming of Internet comments because these two constantly bicker and insult each other and that makes up like 40% of the dialogue in any given episode. While this is one of the main story conflicts and they’re like this in the books too, it just feels super exhausting to see these two constantly at each other’s throats in every single episode.

They get mean too. Which, surprisingly, makes them both more realistic (I babysat multiple times and kids can be pretty verbally awful to each other) while also making them just a tiny bit unbearable at times. Here’s some actual dialogue.

"My dad sent it to me!" "Gee, he must think a lot of you to send you a doll full of worms." "Your mum thought so much of you she drove this bus over a cliff and into the river to get away from you."

GEEZ, guys...

Eileen, Rory’s mom.

It feels out of the three adults in the family, she gets the least amount of character development, but she does get a fair amount of screentime, so you can’t really say they’re intentionally ignoring her. She divorced her previous husband and works as a mail courier. Instead of owning a car, she drives a motorcycle, and, in the first episode, even drives it to her own wedding while dressed in a bridal gown. Rory’s mom rules.

She tries to bond with Dawn because she always wanted to raise a daughter, but Dawn clearly doesn’t like her new stepmom very much. Dawn is also afraid of the motorcycle and it comes up a couple times in the show.

Eileen is the adult that gets targeted the least by The Appleman’s schemes. There’s a very pointed reason for this, and I swear, I’m getting to it soon.

(quick note: yes, the show uses real photos to put in picture frames in the backgrounds and it’s real weird and never addressed)

Jack, Dawn’s dad.

Jack is a sheep shearer, just like in the books, and he’s a big easy-going dope that is hard not to love. Look at him hammer in this carpet. A true champ.

Out of the three adults in the family, he seems to be the one that nearly dies the most, with The Appleman going out of his way to specifically target Jack in some episodes. If you know Appleman’s backstory, this reads as absolutely petty spite and I love every minute of it.

Gramps, Dawn’s grandfather and Jack’s dad.

He’s an aging WWII veteran (one that has killed people in combat no less) who radiates constant Boomer vibes and, unlike Eileen and Jack, he actually sees some of the crazy shit that happens and will sometimes sense when something is infected with virus when the other two adults can’t.

In the books, he’s suffering pretty badly from dementia, but thankfully the cartoons drop that completely. I’m glad too, because I don’t have the confidence that they would’ve written it with enough sophistication to make it not seem ableist. Instead, he’s just your typical kooky cartoon grandfather.

He’s probably the adult that gets the most screentime because he will actually help Dawn and Rory out. Again, this ties into the books, where he was the main adult ally for the kids.

He says a lot of army-themed catchphrases. It’s a tad overplayed but it never really gets to a point where I would call it “annoying”. Also, instead of living in the house, he lives in a tiny granny flat on the property. Sometimes Rory spends the night there.

Last but not least, we have the star of the show, and the reason why the easiest way to find information of this show is to google “Wicked The Appleman”.

The Appleman, as explained, is the main villain of the story. Dressed in a very fancy suit complete with dress shoes and a nice blue tie, he lives in an old refinery full of rats, bats, and giant worms (called Slobberers), and he’s rocking a voice that can be best described as “Australian Mark Hamil” with an absolutely heavenly evil laugh. He has gross clawed hands, a rotten apple for a head, and likes making people miserable, because he’s basically the living puppet for a virus that feeds off of negative emotions. The main goal of each episode is to either defeat him or to stop the mess he’s made. Usually both.

Since all of his minions are non-sentient animals, a lot of his dialogue is him lurking behind something while he monologues to himself, sometimes turning it into a creepy little rhyme. He’s a pretty lonely guy, so him hanging out with this family can be seen as a very non-subtle cry for help.

The best episodes are the ones where he tries to lurk about in public with a very poor attempt at disguising his hideous features. Somehow it always works, you know, despite the fact that he has yellow eyes, the skin like a moldy apple, and no ears.

What Makes Wicked! Unique

(no, The Appleman doesn’t actually use that axe)

The first thing this show does that most of the formulaic shows don’t do is that it does, in fact, have a beginning, a middle, and an end. That’s why this show was packaged into a full-length movie - you can glue scenes together and actually make a pretty decent narrative, even if the resulting movie definitely had a “glued together TV show episodes” feel ala some of the bad Disney sequels like Cinderella II and Atlantis II. 

This show even has some plot-heavy episodes that dive into just why this whole Appleman situation is going on and why he seems to have it out for this one family in order to flesh out the characters more.

Because that’s a thing that this show does. The Appleman is a cartoon-y villain who cackles in his lab and constantly invents new strains of viruses that can mutate things like animals and household appliances, but he doesn’t do it to take over the city or to “destroy the world”. He does it purely to inconvenience this one Australian family, who he stalks pretty regularly. This is a thing that comes from the books and honestly, it’s a thing that elevates Appleman from “ugly-looking cartoon villain” to “pretty damn creepy, if also still cartoony in execution”.

Sure, a lot of cartoon villains target the main protagonist in their evil schemes, but this one is definitely more personal.

He regularly follows Rory and Dawn to school and, when the family goes on a camping trip, he comes too. If Rory decides he’s going to hang out in the wrecker’s yard, The Appleman will be cackling and hiding behind totaled vehicles. If Gramps takes the kids out to the bay to go fishing, The Appleman will pull an ice cream truck out of his garage and follow them there. That’s how the main conflict is really set up.

I think if a scarier cartoon tried, they’d make him out to be this grotesque stalker, but instead, since this show is kinda goofy in execution, he’s like the shittiest cryptid in the world, constantly crouching behind trash cans and on top of rooftops while constantly cackling about how clever he is and how, miraculously, no one notices anything’s amiss.

This alone would make this villain interesting, but then they set up something about this show at the beginning if you watch the intro and the first episode and put two and two together.

Right from the start, the opening shows that The Appleman was once human by depicting his transformation by the virus. They don’t even try and pretend that he’s some demon or some sort of supernatural monster - he’s specifically a blue collar worker who had a nasty run-in with fate and mutated into this hideous apple-headed creature that now has to hide out in an abandoned refinery. You see why he’s dressed like that - he’s still wearing his work uniform.

Right after you watch that intro, the first episode of the show has Rory receiving a mysterious package from his father on the day of his mother’s wedding. It’s the first time that Rory and his mom Eileen have heard from their dad after he mysteriously vanished years ago. 

What’s inside? An apple-headed doll, which contains the first virus-infected monsters, The Slobberers.

When The Appleman makes his first dramatic appearance, he never says Dawn’s name, but he does know Rory’s name.

And, in case you didn’t pick up the hints from the first episode, the fourth episode really drives it home without spelling it out. Then the last episode of the series decides to say it out loud.

That’s right. Rory’s father, the man who mysteriously vanished from Eileen and Rory’s lives, is still an important part of the cartoon’s storyline, but instead of being the man who appears in the last book that knows how to cure the virus while also being the first victim of the virus, he’s the main antagonist.

The Appleman is Rory’s father.

And honestly, because of this little plot point, this show becomes a much richer experience once you look at the unhinged appleman who keeps unleashing horror on these kids and realize that he’s a divorced dad who constantly keeps tabs on his ex-wife's unstable dysfunctional family in order to make them more pissed at each other because that feeds the virus that mutated him.

This is a very cool concept. This is where Wicked! shines when, for all intents and purposes, it is otherwise a pretty average turn-of-the-century Australian cartoon that can be best described as “it’s okay, I guess” in terms of quality.

Because that’s really the rating I can give this show. It’s Okay.

It’s a very solid Okay, but I think any adjective more powerful than “Okay” is really pushing it. It’s not Great, it’s not Amazing. It’s Okay. Alright. Kinda Good.

But man, is it a wild ride.

Next time, I’m going to start discussing the actual episodes as well as this show’s pros and cons. Dividing this up into multiple parts partly because I feel like these things are more easily digested in smaller chunks and partly because I’m pretty sure tumblr now has a size limit on posts soooo...yeah.

Follow this handy link for Part 2 - The Actual Review!

[torturedwarrior]

Albert Fish:

Who exactly is Albert Fish? What made him famous? How many victims did he murder? How did Albert Fish die? Albert Hamilton Fish (May 19, 1870 – January 16, 1936) was an American sado-masochistic serial killer and cannibal. He was also known as the Gray Man, the Werewolf of Wysteria and possibly the Brooklyn Vampire. AKA Albert Fish, Laura Fish, Nepe Fish, Birthday May 19, 1870, Birthplace Washington DC, District of Columbia, United States, Death January 16, 1936, Manner of Death Capital Punishment, Nationality United States Of America, Occupations Prostitute, Serial Killer, Great Person, Male Prostitution, Religion Rejecting The Blood. “Misery leads to crime. I saw so many boys whipped it ruined my mind.”— Albert Fish.

He was delighted that he had "kids in all nations," which places his number near 100, although the question of violence or cannibalization is not obvious, much less as to whether it was real or not. In at least five killings for his career he was a witness. Fisch agreed to three killings and confessed to at least two other individuals attacking investigators might track a suspected crime. He was tried and convicted and hanged by electric chair for abduction and the death of Grace Budd.

Albert Fish’s Early Life:

He was born to Randall Fish (1795-1875) as Hamilton Fish in Washington, D.C. He said he was named after a distant relative, Hamilton Fish. His grandfather was 43 years older than his brother. It had three live siblings: Walter, Joyce, and Edwin Fish. Fish was the youngest child and he was three. After a deceased brother he wanted to be called "Albert," and to avoid the moniker of "Ham and Eggs," provided him in an orphanage where he spent many years in the beginning. Mental illness was suffered by many of his family members and theological mania was felt. His father was a sailor on the river boat, but he was a producer of fertilizers by 1870. The first Fish died in the 1875 Washington, DC, of a heart attack at the Sixth Street Station of the Pennsylvania Railroad. He was hit and kicked regularly, and finally discovered that he was suffering from physical pain. Often the beatings brought him houses that the other children told him about.

His mother was able to look after him and have a government job by 1879. He had however been influenced by his different experiences before this. He began a gay relationship with a telegraph-boy in 1882, when he was 12. Fish also heard about drinking urine and coprophagies in young people. Fish liked to frequent public baths and watch kids get ready and he spent much of his weekends watching them. In 1890, Fish had come to New York City and said he had become a male harlot. He claimed he began raping young boys, even after his mother had negotiated a marriage, a crime that he proceeded to commit. He married his wife in 1898 with a junior aged nine years. The dad: Albert, Mary, Gertrude, Eugene, Charles, and Henry Fish. They had six babies. He was charged on the basis of misappropriation and sentenced to 1903 in Sing jail. He had sex with men frequently during his incarceration. “I have no particular desire to live. I have no particular desire to be killed. It is a matter of indifference to me. I do not think I am altogether right.”— Albert Fish

He served as a house painter in 1898 and said that he kept angry babies, boys mostly under the age of six. Further on, he recalled an instance where a male friend took him to a waxworks museum where Fish became intrigued by a penis bisection, and shortly afterwards he was paranoid regarding castration. Fish tried to castrate him after linking him during a friendship with a mentally disabled man. The guy became terrified and ran. Fish then increased his trips to brothels to taunt and abuse him more often. His wife left him in January 1917 for a handyman, John Straube, who rented the Fish home. Despite this rejection, Fish started hearing voices; for instance, once he was wrapped up in a tapestry and clarified why he followed John the Apostle's orders.

Early attacks and attempted abductions:

It was Fish which perpetrated his first assault in Wilmington, Delaware in 1910 on a child named Thomas Bedden. He eventually murdered a child mentally disabled in Arlington, Washington, D.C., in 1919. Many of his perpetrators would frequently be either mentally impaired or American as they would not be overlooked, he claimed. On 11 July 1924 Fish discovered Beatrice Kiel, eight years of age, playing alone on the Staten Island estate of her father. He gave her money in the neighboring fields to help him hunt the rhubarb. As her mother scared Fish away, she was about to leave the farm. Fish fled but then returned back to the barn of Kiels, where, before Hans Kiel found him, he wanted to sleep and told him to leave.

Previous incarceration:

Fish met "Estella Wilcox," and lived a week in Waterloo, New York, on February 6, 1930. He was held at Bellevue psychiatric hospital between 1930 and 1931 for evaluation, and he was released in May 1930 "because he sent an indecent letter to an African American woman who replied a maid's advertising."

Fish Targets the Handicapped:

Around 1919, Albert Fish started attacking young men who, because he thought that these individuals would be ignored, were intellectually or African American. Fish liked to bribe kids to help him trap other kids so that he could torture and kill them. The proof has been confirmed in any of these murders. Upon his final conviction, Albert Fish made a number of statements. Even if there was no proof, he listed Albert Fish's victims in hundreds. In 1924, Albert Fish developed total insanity. He actually believed, although he has been tested several times by psychologists, that God was ordering him to torture and kill them. In July of that year, Fish met teenage Beatrice Kiel on the estate of her father alone. Her mother heard Fish chuckle and scare him from protecting the 8-year-old girl's life. Fish went back to the farm in Kiel later that night and slept in the stable. Hans Kiel, young Beatrice's parent, spotted him and quickly pursued him. The next move of Albert Fish was targeted at a young boy Cyril Quinn he had annoyed. To draw them into his den, Fish gave the boys lunch. The boys wrested on Fish's pillow, while waiting for sandwiches. Fish's "death weapons" and hammer, handsaw and cleaver were overthrown by the mattress. The boys have run from the house in panic. Again, Fish missed his job of killing and eating a boy. It took Fish up a bit of his playing.

 Albert Fish’s Victims:

Francis McDonnel- Francis, age 8, was murdered on July 14, 1924. He had been raped and strangled to death, Emma Richardson- Emma, age 5, was murdered on October 3, 1926, Billy Gaffney- Billy, age 4, was murdered on February 12, 1927. Fish confessed to torturing Billy by whipping him, cutting off his ears and nose and then gouging out his eyes. After Billy was murdered, Fish took home pieces of his body and ate them over the course of 4 days, Grace Budd- Grace, age 10, was murdered on June 3, 1928. Fish confessed to murdering her and then eating her whole body over the course of 9 days, Emil Aalling - Emil, age 4, was murdered on July 13, 1930, Robin Jane Liu- Robin, age 6, was murdered on may 2, 1931, Yetta Abramowitz- Yetta, age 12, was murdered in 1927. Fish was suspected to have murdered Yetta, Mary Ellen O’Connor- Mary, age 16, was murdered on February 15, 1932. Fish was suspected to have murdered Mary, Benjamin Collings- Benjamin, age 17, was murdered on December 15, 1932. Fish was suspected to have murdered Benjamin. “I always had a desire to inflict pain on others and to have others inflict pain on me. I always seemed to enjoy everything that hurt.”- Albert Fish, "What a thrill that will be if I have to die in the electric chair. It will be the supreme thrill. The only one I haven't tried."- Albert Fish.

 Trial and Execution:

It is not shocking that Fish is regarded as "the worst child killer in criminal history." The Grace Budd assassination court lasted eleven days. Cod has been found guilty and finally electrically disabled. Fish was said to have helped the boy place electrodes on his leg. There have been reports that the needles implanted by Fish into its body have created a short electric circuit, so it requires twice the normal electricity strikes to complete the job. Since then, these arguments have been dismissed. His lawyer claimed after Fish was killed that he had no words from Fish, just handwritten documents. "Information will never be shown to anyone. The prosecutor refused to read them. It was I have ever seen the filthiest list of obscenities. Until the end of his life, Fish had been a vile human being.

Albert Fish will tend to be one of the greatest abusers of girls in America. Few serial killers, particularly against children, have accomplished the cruelty he is renowned for. It needs to be seen whether Albert Fish was a serial killer at the orphanage. One has to ask if someone so evil as Fish was raised as an assassin or could his conditions transform him into a bad person. Like most serial killers, it's become a little bit of nature and nourishment. While he claims to also have killed thousands of children,' one in every state,' he was only ever found to have killed three. The three killings were so horrific that they solidified Fish's place in history as the worst child killer in all of American history.

Work Cited:

"Best Albert Fish Quotes | Quote Catalog." Quote Catalog. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://quotecatalog.com/communicator/albert-fish/>.

Blanco, Juan Ignacio. "Albert Fish | Murderpedia, the encyclopedia of murderers." Murderpedia, the encyclopedia of murderers. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://murderpedia.org/male.F/f/fish-albert.htm>.

Phan, Daniel. " Everything You Need To Know About Albert Fish | Serial Killer Shop ." Limited Edition Horror & Serial Killer Shirts – Serial Killer Shop . 18 Mar 2019. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://serialkillershop.com/blogs/true-crime/albert-fish>.

Whitney , Heather. "Victims of Albert Fish | The Serial Killers Podcast." The Serial Killers Podcast - A Weekly Podcast on Serial Murder. 1 Jan 2010. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://serialkillers.briancombs.net/2962/victims-of-albert-fish/>.

[jtaylor2019]

The Return--Chapter 1

Though not a gatekeeper, Loki could see pretty well. He knew what was going on below him, in Midgard.  The weak, self-destructing planet, supposedly ruled by his brother, though who knew where Thor was now, not wanting the throne, when it was pretty much handed to him. Fool.

Loki decided it was the right time for him to put his plan in place.  He could see below him the hundreds of mourners at her home.  They dressed in dark, somber colors, wiped their eyes, and laughed with melancholy at stories they told to comfort each other.  Funerals were stupid rituals.

He knew she was down there in the midst of it all, surrounded by his friends, locked in a cocoon of well-wishers.  Useless.  The man was more corrupt than he was.  Had more tricks up his sleeve, mortal ones, but still…But she deserved the chance to mourn him.  He was her father, after all.  Loki hadn’t had much of a relationship with his own.

Many years had passed since he first met Caroline.  It had been a time of fire and danger, not created by magic spells.  As others in their family had already been compromised, Rose knew he needed to his only daughter, a familiar face in the company, away to safety.  Somehow, somewhere, Thor had made friends with this family.  Where they would have amused Loki, Thor became almost a guard to the family. Guarding what, not too many knew, but some did, and wanted the advanced technology Rose had developed and manufactured. A crooked, dirty business.  Rose had asked Thor to bring her to Asgard until the threat was eliminated.  The whole mess took over a month to clean up and so Caroline became a guest of the Realm.

Immediately, it was evident, even if she didn’t know it, that she belonged there.  Loki remembered how strangely he felt looking at her for the first time.  She was human, inconsequential, not worth investing his time or energy in, but yet he wanted to…She wasn’t even a human cursed with any power, as most of her friends were.  There was something timeless in her simplicity.  Something graceful in her plainness.  At first, he convinced himself that he wanted to hurt her, possibly getting his brother in trouble at the same time.  Kind of a win-win…but she had changed his course effortlessly.

She was surrounded by guards as they moved through the corridors.  Her hair was dark like his so she seemed more other-worldly than she already was.  She was scared too.  The Asgardian palace was formidable, made so on purpose.  Thor led the procession, talking grandly about how much she would love being there, pointing out landmarks along the way. “This is a likeness of my great-grandfather.” “Here is an ancient vase owned by one of the original Einherjer…um, Vikings, I think you call them.”  Loki wanted to step out, tell his brother to cease his incessant boasting and let him take over, but he felt it safer to wait in the shadows, until the right time came to introduce himself.

That time wasn’t long in coming.  She had just changed into Asgardian dress and was eating alone in the Great Hall.  She looked so small in the grand chamber with its gold and black tiles, scrollwork and tapestries.  “Do you mind if I sit,” he asked, quietly?  He had a habit of sneaking up on people, scaring them without intending to.  He did it to his mother all the time.

She looked up at Loki, and smiled, not scared at all. She held out her hand to invite him. “I’m Caroline.”

“Loki.  Thor’s brother.”

The minute he said his name, he knew he had heard about him. Her eyes darkened a bit and he swore she made distance between them.  He grew angry, feeling slighted, a familiar, painful tingle in his gut.  He stood.

“I thought you wanted to sit?”  she asked.

“Well, I don’t want to interrupt you.”

“I’m almost done.”  She wiped her hands together, dusting off crumbs from the bread that had been on her plate, then turned to him.  “Maybe you can show me around a little.”

Loki smiled and bowed.  He had never done that, even to his father, and felt a bit ridiculous. It seemed to suit the situation, “It’d be my honor.”

That had been so long ago…Loki had been locked in the dungeons after some infraction or another having to do with Earth, his mother had been killed by Dark Elves, his father had passed on, Loki had been killed many times over.  More than a lifetime had passed.  But Loki had always had a glimmer that she would come back to him, stay with him, maybe even rule by his side.  She knew how he felt about her.  He had told her so many of his secrets, and she had told him probably all of hers, as humans were so careless in doing.  They had talked about the future, maybe not one where they appeared together, but about their hopes and goals.

When Loki was a boy, he thought that his father, Odin Allfather, King of Asgard, was the giver of all things, the protector, the omnipotent leader.  Loki also thought there was a chance he could be King of Asgard.  Soon though, as Thor began to show his skill at fighting and harnessing a power Loki could not even dream of possessing, Thor edged ahead as the frontrunner for royal successor.  Loki felt left behind at first, angry, jealous.  But then the numbness set in.  He just began to hate, plot, and spend time by himself, practicing his sorcery. At first, the magic was under the tutelage of his mother, but later he hid away in a secluded area so nothing he tried might backfire and get him into trouble.

Nothing was for certain in his world, except he grew stronger each day at magic.  He knew how to protect himself with force field charms, he could shape shift, even project magic onto others.  He could fight when needed, but he was not an immovable rock like his brother.  Despite the fact his father told them on more than once occasion that ruling, not by war, but by peace was the real goal of a good king; despite the fact he said war should never be something that a king seeks out, but only is ready for; Thor and his warrior ways were much more popular than a studious and quiet candidate for the throne.

Thor had everything: his choice of women, all the friends. Loki’s friends were really Thor’s friends first.  They only tolerated him because they loved his brother. Loki learned quickly that magic could save and control far more than a fist—or a hammer.  Unfortunately, thought while his brother commanded thunder, all Loki could do was steal it. And he’d become very good at that. People feared him, except for Caroline. And he could honestly say he didn’t want to frighten her.

She was in her father’s basement.  He could see her there, her black hair pulled tightly behind her head.  Rose had remarried when Caroline was an adult, to a much-younger woman and they had had a child, a little girl.  Rose moved his new family out to the country to live a quiet life, but that kind of life was impossible to find, especially for a man with a price on his head, and many enemies.  Caroline had not gone with them, despite liking the new wife a lot.  Caroline was a dutiful daughter, but not heir to the company. She had her own life.  She was a successful marketing consultant, and had a healthy mix of friends.   Loki shook his head.  Human lives were too dramatic for him to care.  He had more important things to worry about.  He was one of the casualties of the Dark Elves, dying a gruesome death in front of his brother, but time reversed itself somehow, and he awoke, made his way back to a new home and began to think about what he really wanted. Unstantly, he knew.

xxxxxx

Caroline sat at her father’s workbench.  He had rid himself of almost everything that had made him a millionaire many times over.  His computers still held vital information that he used under pressure from his murderer, she imagined.  By the time they caught up with him, he only wanted to live a quiet and peaceful life with his family.  In the end, he knew he held the technology to win the war that had not been fought yet. And he paid with his life.

Her father’s most recent wife had been Caroline’s friend for over a decade.  There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her, even if it meant putting up with her father’s sometimes arrogant and questionable methods.  She cried with Audrey when her father was missing somewhere, in some third world country, where he was doing business, or when some part of the world was in ruins and it was most likely her father’s fault, well, the fault of his technology that someone stole from him and did not know how to use properly. Caroline let her friend yell when she was angry at her father for putting himself in harm’s way.  And happily, Caroline had stood up as Audrey’s maid of honor when she married the love of her life. Now he was gone.  And if the hole in Caroline’s heart was this big, she could only imagine the pain in Audrey’s.  

“I’m sorry, Caroline.”

Caroline looked around in surprise for Audrey.  “Were your ears ringing? I was just thinking about you.”

Audrey laughed.  “Well, I saw you come down here.”

“Well…I just needed a break.”

She chuckled as only someone in pain could.  “Yeah, me, too.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, this is actually good that we are down here, where it’s quiet.  You father had something for you.  He asked me to give it to you should he ever…,” her voice caught, “not make it.”

Caroline sat up straighter in her seat, “What is it?”

One of her father’s virtual computer monitors came on in front of her and a list of her bill accounts came into view.  Audrey had the reigns and was scrolling through.  “He paid off your student loans.  He knew that was a burden you carried.”

Sure enough, on the screen both financial institutions Caroline dealt with said she had “paid in full.”  Caroline smiled.  That was very much like her father. He could be arrogant and insufferable but he was generous to a fault.  “Thank you. That does help.”

“He also has bequeathed you five million dollars.”

Caroline coughed, putting her hands to her chest. “What?  Why?  I’ve never asked…”

“He knows.  You’ve always lived a quiet life,” Audrey said.  “He knew you wanted a house, a place of your own.”

A house, not a mansion, Caroline thought.  Five million.  Having that much money was beyond her expectations.  “I—I don’t know what to say.”

“He had only one request.”

“Yes? Anything.”

“He asked that your house be near me and Cora.”

The tears snuck up really.  She had no control over them.  The request was something her father would ask; something that proved beyond a doubt his love for Audrey and their five year old.  

“Of-of course I will.” Caroline stood, “Excuse me, Audrey. I’m sorry.”  She covered her eyes and ran up the stairs, pushed her way through the dozens of mourners, friends, family, and her father’s colleagues.  She kept her eyes downward, not wanting to see their looks of pity.  Outside, the air was colder, fresher, so she kept going, her boots crunching on the gravel of the road.  Caroline didn’t stop until she came to the end of the street, where the lake behind her father’s house rounded a bend.  A large rock played sentinel to the trail past it and Caroline stopped there out of breath.

“Are you alright?”  Loki asked her.  He had seen her fleeing the house, knew there would be no better time to get her alone. He saw her shoulders stiffen, and she put the strands of hair that came undone during her walk behind her ears before she turned.  

“Loki?  What are you…?  Are you real? Is this…?”

“An illusion?” he finished the sentence.  “No.  I am here.”

“What?  How?  I thought you had died.”

“I did.”  He took a step toward her, his hands out to let her know that he meant no harm.  “It seemed the Elvish leader’s death reversed time and brought me back to life.  Quite extraordinary, actually.” His jet black hair glistened in the sun. His eyes sparkled and he smiled broadly, amazed and pleased at his seeming immortality.

“I am glad to see you,” she said.  “I really am.”

“I hoped you would be.”

She smiled, “I like your suit.”  He was dressed in a well-cut black suit. “So you know what happened then?  Why we’re here?”

Of course he knew.  He could have cared less for anything that happened to any human, especially Connelly Rose, but the man was important to her. “Your father was ambushed and died.”

“Yes.”

Loki took a deep breath, “We were not…well, close, but I am sorry for your pain.”

“Thank you.”

He moved toward her. She held her breath, not sure if he would put his hands on her.  He wrapped her in an embrace, fully expecting it to be awkward but was very pleased it was not.  He smelled the perfume of her dark hair.  She fit perfectly in his arms.  

But they were interrupted almost immediately, "What are you doing here?"

His brother Thor, stood, legs apart, hands balled into fists, ready to do battle if he had to, almost relieved to have a purpose again, an enemy.

Loki laughed when he saw his brother, "Brother, what happened to you?"

Thor was clearly embarrassed.  The muscular physique that Thor was used to had started to disappear with his lengthy time on Earth.  The air was different, his powers more forced and so his body suffered. He was soft, heavy and tired. Instead, Thor asked, "How is it you are back?”

"The time reversal gave me life. What?  Are you not pleased to see me?”

Instead Thor flipped his hammer in the air.  It hummed. "Leave Caroline alone, Loki."

Loki laughed, “It is over, for all of you.  You won your people back, but you lost.  You gave yourself up for Connelly Rose and paid the price. Can’t you just give it a rest?”

The trees seemed to still.  No one spoke.  The weight of Loki’s words hit home.  Rose’s death seemed empty.  The world would never be the same.   And there was no proof that just the very existence of Rose’s technology hadn’t started the chain of events that put them where they were today.

Loki took Caroline’s hand in his.  “I am visiting an old friend.”

Thor took a step closer.  “Nothing you do is simple, Brother.  Nothing is without a veil.”

Caroline was frustrated Thor was there.  She would have liked some time alone with Loki, to talk. Something about the prince-who-would-never-be-king intrigued her.  Loki was really the only piece of her father’s life she had for herself.  He was the only proof she had that she was close to a world of magic and exquisite strangeness.  Besides, Loki had never been anything but kind.  A bit dangerous, but kind.  And somehow, why she did not know, he had taken a liking to her. She spoke up, "He's not hurting me…"

Thor stepped toward them, fully intending to get Caroline away from the God of Mischief.  But Loki and Caroline shimmered out of sight and were gone.

xxxxx

Loki was proud of the dramatic exit he had engineered.  The look on Thor’s face as they vanished was worth every minute that Loki had pondered whether the trip to Midgard would be successful. The God of Thunder, the original heir to the throne of Asgard, had indeed grown soft and slow.  

He watched Caroline sleep off the effects of the trip. It was not as simple as a Bifrost now. He had to create a portal through his magic, a journey that was not left without its twists and turns. She went unconscious not long after he had put his arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him.

He shifted in his seat, looking out the large window in his chambers.  There was a familiarity to having her back with him.   They had really only had a little more than thirty days together, but that part of his life was etched in his mind.  He longed to pick up where they left off.

He knew immediately when she opened her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly. "You know I would never hurt you. But this is a better place for you to be.”

“Where am I?"

"The New Asgard."

She tried to sit up but realized her hands were bound. Almost as soon as she noticed, the bindings disappeared.  Running her fingers through her hair, she blinked to adjust her eyes to the dimness of the room.  "I don’t understand.  How?  Isn’t Thor supposed to be king?”

He turned back to her and stood. In his Asgardian clothes, he walked slowly and deliberately toward her.  The room they were in was barren but regal. Gold paper on the walls, rich woods, tiles and tapestries. When he reached her, he sat beside her, waving his hand.  Her funeral dress was replaced by a long, deep blue and white dress. Her black hair was loose, cascading in tendrils.

She looked at him strangely and toucher her hair, “Why this?”

He smiled, “I remember you wore it like that when you stayed on Asgard.  I always liked it.”

"Thank you.”

“Are you hungry?  I can get you some food, something to drink.”

Caroline shook her head.  “Loki, how did this place happen?”

“Some of the Asgardians survived," Loki said, "and chose to come here. They began to rebuild, waited for a leader.”

He smiled when he remembered that day.  Very few times in his 1,500 or so-year life, had he felt nerves, actual accelerated heartbeat type of nerves.  When he realized the souls on the planet where he was headed were his own people, his palms began to sweat, an odd sensation, and not pleasant. So much had happened; it had been so long.  Truthfully, he hadn’t the strength to go any farther.  He needed them and gratefully, luckily, they needed him.  A member of the Asgardian royal family.  They blocked out his indiscretions or possibly had not heard about them.  Instead, they chose to keep alive his help when Hela tried to take over Asgard, when he fought valiantly by Thor’s side, allowing survivors to board a ship for who knows where.

“I needed time to heal and grow stronger,” He came out of his reverie and finished his tale. “My magic was weakened; my health was questionable. But they saw me as the only surviving member of Odin’s family.  And now I am king, strong again, powerful.”

“How long had you been watching me?”  She asked, feeling less alarmed.

“Not long.  Long enough. Caroline, I would like you to rule by my side."

She closed her eyes. And there it was…the imbalance, the familiar tilt of the world Caroline remembered when Loki was nearby. She closed her eyes, exhausted, thinking about her life on Earth.  She thought about her promise to her father: the house near Audrey and Cora, and what else she could do with the money he left her. Finally, Caroline thought about the small glimmer of fear she felt around Loki.   She felt it around Thor, too.  The fear that came from the unknown, the power they wielded was so far beyond her capability to imagine or understand. What if he wasn't going to let her say no?

He didn’t press her for an answer.  Instead he smiled, took her hand.  “Do you remember when you came to live on Asgard?  I have been thinking on it a lot lately.”

“I remember.  I loved that time.”

“My father was so upset with Thor.  He did not want you there.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“No, we never told you.  My mother, Frigga…she always loved to have visitors.  She was lonely, longed to see the places my father sent us on assignments.  Me and Thor…well, Thor mostly.  He was always too afraid that I…”  Loki’s voice trailed off.  “She was glad when you were there.”

Caroline felt sad.  She knew Frigga had died.  “Your mother was an amazing woman.”

“Thank you.  I think you’re a lot like her.”

She squeezed his hand.  “That is a great compliment from you.  I know how much you loved her.  So thank you.”

The sun was beginning to set.  The colors over the New Asgardian sky were amazing: yellows, reds, some oranges, cast against the deep blue of the night to come.  She walked to the window where Loki had been gazing earlier, surprised how comfortable the clothing was that he put her in.  Looking down she saw the lights glimmering in the distance.  They were high up, and she saw houses, what looked like factories, and churches below.

"My father talked to me once about you,” She spoke quietly.  “after I returned from my time on Asgard.”

Loki scoffed, “Oh, he did.  I can only imagine what that conversation was about.”

"He said I shouldn’t ‘get comfortable,’ I think he said, or believe we could ever be a couple.”  She laughed, uncomfortably.  “I imagine that Thor had told him how much time we spent together. I remember that he looked me in the eye, almost shook me.  He knew that the father-daughter conversation was about to have was going to be for nothing. That it was too late.”

Loki’s heart jumped.  What was she saying?

“He had joked that we probably made a good couple because there is such a vast different between us. I am the righteous one, the one who does everything according to the rules--and you, well…”

“Let me guess, I am the evil one.”

She nodded.  “My father said I would balance out the mischief in you. But that he hoped I would be smart enough not to be fooled by your motives.”

Just as quickly, Loki’s heart sunk, "And what did you tell him?”

"You can't help who you fall in love with."

[lucy-pepperwood]

GOT AU 

Robert and Cersei's first child lives, and he has a twin. How will this affect the plot of GOT?

In order of succession 

(Twin )Crown Prince Tywin Baratheon

(Twin) Prince Steffon Baratheon

Prince Joffery Baratheon

Princess Cecelia Baratheon 

(Twin )Prince Cedric Baratheon ( Stillborn )

(Twin ) Princess Margot Baratheon ( Stillborn)

Princess Myrcella Baratheon 

Prince Tommen Baratheon

Prince Damon Baratheon ( Stillborn )

Crown Prince Tywin Baratheon is the heir to the seven kingdoms. He and his twin Steffon are the firstborns of King Robert and Queen Cersei. Prince Tywin Baratheon is a studio young man. He takes his job as crown prince very seriously. Prince Tywin was fostered from the ages of 6-12 in Casterly Rock by his Grandfather, Tywin. Because of this, he is a solemn person who has a good understanding of finical matters. While he was also taught of the ruling, he does not think his grandfather is right when it comes to the ruling by fear. Because isn't that how The Mad King Arys lost his Kingdom? At age 12, when he and his twin return to kings landing, Tywin begins to attend small council meetings once a month. His father, King Robert, is also in attendee whenever his son is. But King Robert does not attend more than that. Tywin wants to impress the small council and his father, so he always tries to be the perfect son and heir to the throne. 

Prince Steffon Baratheon is the younger twin brother to Crown prince Tywin. The brothers share a close bond, but there has always been a sense of unease. Tywins' fate is to be king, but Steffon does not know what to do with his life. Does he want to be his brother's hand? Or does he want to be on his small council? Does he want to be a lord, or does he want to travel to Essos? Steffon is plagued with uncertainty. He wants to be a good son and brother but does not know how to do so. When he is six years old, he is sent to foster with the Starks in the North. He stays there until he is called home with his twin at 12. In the North, he learned a lot from Lord Stark, who was also a second son. Lord Stark helped shaped Steffon into an honorable person. He raised Steffon to not covet his brother's portion but to be ready to step up in the face of tragedy. Steffon returns to kings landing still unsure but convinced of his need to learn and be a steady shoulder for his brother. 

Princess Cecelia Baratheon is the first daughter born to the Royal Baratheon line. She is a people pleaser, often torn between her mother and father's wishes. Her mother wishes for a perfect lady, but her father craves a wild daughter. She ends up an exciting mix. She can sing and dance, but she can also shot an arrow and outrace any man on a horse. Cecelia loves the freedom her father grants her and often takes these freedoms as far as possible. Her mother is not a fan of her fashion taste, but with her father's full backing, she can do as she pleases. Cecelia is the reason the court fashion is so diverse. Cecelia is currently being fostered in the Crownlands by her Uncle Renely. Fostered being a loose term as both of them are back and forth between capital always. She is at the end of her fostering, and she will return permanently to Kings Landing soon.

The difference between these three siblings is that they are actually the blood of Robert Baratheon. Whereas the other three children are not. The children themselves do not know this, but there is still divided between them. King Robert favors his black-haired children, and Queen Cersi prefers her blonde ones. King Robert makes time to attend to his Black haired sons but leaves his blonde ones aside. He does, however, spend equal time with his daughters. ( there is some debate in my story if Myrcella is Roberts are not, bc she has blue eyes instead of green; which Joffery and Tommen both have)

Some difference in my story 

Tywin goes to Casterly Rock

Steffon to Winterfell

Joffery to Stannis at dragon stone ( although he is back and forth often like Cecelia )

Cecelia to Storms End

Mrycella to Highgarden, she and Margery do become friends

Tommen is too young to foster at this point, but it is uncertain where he will

Tommen is up in the air bc Hoster is old and dying, Dorne is hostile, The Vale does not have a mature enough lord and the iron island are just traitors. 

Ages at the start of the story

Tywin 16

Steffon 16 

Joffery 14

Cecelia 12

Myrcella 10

Tommen 4

Other Facts

With Joffery not as the crown prince, he does not get away with becoming cruel;

During his time on Dragonstone, he is often displayed harshly by both Stannis and Selyse because he often tries to bully Shireen. 

Stannis has more children

A younger daughter named Elissa who is 7

And a newborn son named Willem 

Tywin wants one of Cersei's children to be heir to the Rock

In this story, he pushes for Tommen to be sent to him and for longer so that he can be trained as Warden and Lord.

Robert also is much more in shape, often taking his sons out for hunts and teaching them how to fight 

Both Prince Tywin and Joffery in this story learn how to use a war hammer

Steffon and Tommen do not

Roberts wants his daughters to be like Lyanna, who he believes if he had children with, they would be wild and untamable. 

Unfortunately, both girls are still fathers feminine

Cecelia and Myrcella are very close

Steffon also has a crush on Sansa Stark and hopes she likes him back 

Cerci get her shit handed to her by her father

A full-blown civil war does not happen in this story, Jon Arayn is killed, but Lord Stark plays the long game in the south

In which Robert is not killed quite as soon

Tywin, Steffon, and Joffery are all killed but not anytime soon

Cersei is killed 

Stannis is killed

Cecelia is the one to confront Daenerys 

At a later point in the story, Cecelia takes Tommen and Myrcella. She retreats to Casterly Rock, but not before brokering a deal with deanery, That her son had to marry a child of her own.

"You think you are so special, don't you?' That the Targarens have supreme right to rule over the 7 kingdoms? Well, let me teach you some history. The Targareasn won this land by force. My father did the same. He had the right to hold this Kingdom until the next conquer came. So keep your tongue and do not call my family Uspers ever again because just like yours, my family won its right to rule." Cecelia to Daenerys

The Baratheons lose Storms End and Dragonstone Storms End for a period. Storms End it is given to Willem Baratheon when he marries. 

Daenerys does reunite the 7 kingdoms by marring Jon Snow/Stark who's heritage is never revealed 

North is ruled by Rickon Stark

She pledges her son to marry the daughter of Cecelia Baratheon 

Cecelia is married to Willas Tyrell at this point and has two children

Cecelia and Willas are both apart of the negations, and after they are finished they return to High Garden which is held by Garlan Tyrell

Daenerys ends up having to fight Aegon Tarageryn, who thinks he should rule as the son of Reaghar, half of Dorne supports him and a half does not. 

Daenerys does end up having more children, though she is shocked bc she was told only a Targaryen could get her pregnant 

She rationalizes in her head that she was naive and never should have trusted the word of a woman who had already killed her husband. Daenerys children with Jon Stark end up united the 7 kingdoms

Rheago marries Olenna (II), Tyrell

Aemon marries Meria Nymeros Martel He gives up his last name and becomes the ruling consort of Dorne

Shiera marries Willem Baratheon 

Daenerys goes on to defeat Aegon 

Help reconquer Dorne with/for her supporters 

Reconquer her Essosi cities 

Defeat the Night King

Daenerys is Azor Azzi

( Daenerys also bans the name Aegon from being used for newborns )

The 7 kingdoms are renamed the Sunset Kingdom

How the Sunset Kingdoms get divided

The North

Arya and Gendry become world travelers and wealthy merchants, they have a Manse in Meeren, Kings Landing and Wintertown

Rickon marries Sara Flint of the mountain clans and becomes Lord of Winterfell.

Sansa marries Ser Terrance Yonce and becomes the lady of the Vale.

The Reach

Tyrells in Highgarden 

Lord Willas and his Wife Cecelia 

Children: Olenna (II) and Steffan 

Garlan and Lyness

Margery and Edmure Tully 

Loras ( Deceased )

The Iron Islands

Greyjoy in iron islands 

Yara Greyjoy is the Lady Paramount

The Vale

House Yonce becomes Lords Paramount in the vail 

House Aryan is wiped out

The lesser house of Yonce is renamed as to not create any confusion.

Sansa Stark marries the third son of Bronze Yonce who is picked as the most worthy to be the new lord Paramount

Terrance Yonce.

The West

Lannister in the west 

Cecelia Baratheon ensures that the Lannisters remain in charge

Tommen is named Lord Paramount

He takes the name Lannister

He marries a Targaryen supporter of Queen Daenarys choosing

Tommen is remembered fondly throughout history as one of the Kindest Lords of the west. 

The Stormlands

Baratheons in the Stormlands

The Stormlands were occupied by Taragerun forces until Sheria Tarageyn and Willem Baratheon were wed

Storms End was restored to him after 

Dragonstone 

Dragonstone is not considered a kingdom any but an island in the crown lands 

The Crownlands

 Held by House Targaryen

Kings Landing is rebuilt and the castle is the seat of power

Dragonstone is more of a vacation spot now.

Houses from across the nation have Manses in Kindslanding

The dragon pit is never rebuilt

Dorne

 The Martels hold Dorne 

The houses that supported Aegon over Daenarys were wiped out

Lots of knights are promoted to lords after many battles.

The daughter of Trystan Martel 

Meria 

She marries Prince Aemon and they become the ruling pair

Meeren, Yunkai, Asatpor become part of the Kingdom

The Land of Forever winter becomes part of the North, and the willings settle it.

 Hardhome becomes the only Castle in the far North, 

The lord is picked every time the previous one dies. 

This "lord" has the job of dealing with the Starks 

Whatever his last name was before every lord barres the name "Freedman." 

[starscattered-blog1]

;movie & tv muses

Name: Retsuko

Age: 25

Species: Red Panda Gender: Female

Ethnicity: Japanese

Orientation: Bisexual Biromantic

Personality: Retsuko is a sweet person, and she’s introverted. Can be a bit of a pushover. Naive at times, and struggles to stand up for herself. Tries keeping her temper in check, and when she feels like she’s going to explode... she hides away in the bathroom to sing death metal or goes to the karaoke bar to do it.

Occupation: Accountant

Love Interest: Haida Likes: singing (mostly in private), Haida, her friends, romance, reading, amusement parks Dislikes: hot weather, insects, Ton, being disrespected, her short stature

From: Aggretsuko

NAME: Yuck NICKNAME(S): Yucky, Garbage Rabbit, Loser, Demon Rabbit

AGE: Actual age is unknown, though he appears to be in the 11-12 year old age range. GENDER: Both male and female, due to being created from Yin and Yang’s negative qualities. Goes by male pronouns. SPECIES: Rabbit

OCCUPATION: Level 5 Woo Foo Warrior

ORIENTATION: Doesn’t know and isn’t really that interested

PERSONALITY: As he was originally created as a combination of Yin and Yang’s negative traits, he has inherited their bossiness and aggression, respectively. He is short-tempered and has a sense of entitlement, as seen in yin! yang! yuck!, when he expresses a desire to kill Master Yo after the latter refuses to train him multiple times. He is evil, being driven by nothing besides negative qualities. He doesn’t care for hygiene, manners or morals. Additionally, he has proven himself to be quite intelligent and manipulative, tricking Yin and Yang a couple of times into playing into his hands. As seen in imperfect fooplicates, he loves not only being in charge, but also being complimented and respected by others.

FAMILY: ???

ABILITIES:  Energy Rays, Levitation, Foo Field, Fists of Fire,Foo-portate, Foo Orbs, Paws of Power, Bamboo Weaponry, Aura Swap, and Foo-Plicate.  He also seems to be able to possess people.  He also has enhanced strength, intelligence, agility, and is highly resistant to damage.

SHOW: Yin! Yang! Yo!

Name: Miles Gonzalo Morales

Alter-Ego: Spiderman

Age: 13-14

Gender: Male

Species: Super-human with spider DNA

Orientation: Demisexual Demiromantic

Ethnicity: African American & Puerto Rican

Languages: English, Puerto Rican, French Creole 

Occupation: Middle school student & superhero of Brooklyn, New York

Personality: Miles is an intelligent teenager though he struggles with anxiety and slight paranoia. Fears he won’t be able to live up to expectations. Wants to help everyone, self-sacrificing. 

Family: Jefferson Davis (father), Rio Morales (mother), Aaron (uncle, deceased)

Likes: his parents, learning, the arts, music, drawing, painting, the night

Dislikes: not being taken seriously, public speaking, remembering Aaron’s death, not being useful, being unable to control his abilities

Other:

-has a very strong bond with his father.

-learned how to speak Puerto Rican from his mother, while he learned French Creole from his father.

-his hair’s long enough that he can (sometimes) put it in a bun. 

-has freckles!!!

-Miles Morales (at least my version) is from the movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spider Verse. ...not the comics.

Name: Ricardo “Rick” Sanchez Alias: Micky

Nickname(s): “Dumb” Rick, Morty Rick (you’d be better off just calling him Micky)

Age: 65 Gender: Male (DFAB) Species: Human Birthdate/Zodiac: June 24th/Cancer Occupation:

Title: Unknown

Language(s): English, Spanish, Latin Native tongue: English Religion: Agnostic Theist Education: Dropped out his Junior year of high school. Blood type: A+ Height: 5′6″ Weight: 160 lbs Eye Color: Blue Hair: Blue Figure/build: Ectomorph, slender — Distinguishing marks: -Tattoo(s): None -Scars: Quite a few along his arms and thighs, and some across his chest and back -Piercings: None Currently lives: Alone, travels often so he doesn’t… actually have a real home. Hobbies: writing mostly, traveling through different dimensions, archery Talents/Skills: writing, drawing, archery Sexual Orientation: Demisexual demiromantic Dominant Hand: Left Diet: No Virgin?: No Drinker?: Often Smoker?: Sometimes Drug user?: No Other addictions?: No Basic description: Personality: Sensitive, sympathetic, loyal, intuitive, pacifistic, stubborn Likes: drinking, art, writing, watching the sunset, animals (especially cats) Dislikes: drinking, thinking about his Morty, violence, insects, loud noises Fears/Phobias: arachnophobia, nyctophobia, sedatephobia Favourite quote: Doesn’t have one. Family: -Parents: [REDACTED] -Siblings: None -Other close relatives: Beth Smith (nee Sanchez), (daughter), Jerry Smith (son-in-law), Summer Smith (grand-daughter), Mortimer “Morty” Smith (grand-son, deceased) Pet(s): None Bio:

Rick is an alcoholic living in the Smith household with his daughter and her family. He would constantly be picked on by Morty for being of lower intelligence and for drinking. One day Rick had a dream where he was the smart one and Morty was an idiot. Morty used this to mock Rick while telling him to come to the garage. Once there, Morty told Rick to hand him a screwdriver before continuing to mock his dream, even finding it so ridiculous that he decided to tell the Council of Mortys about it later. Rick, in anger, grabbed a hammer and repeatedly hit Morty in the back of his head with it, killing him. This was witnessed by Rick and Morty from Dimension C-132.

Other:

-he’s from dimension m-341.

-he switched out his normal shirt for the “regular” clothing most Rick alternates wear, which is a pair of pants, a shirt, and a lab coat. Though his shirt reveals a little bit of his midriff.

-his family is abusive towards him.

-his hair’s long enough to tie back in a ponytail. He usually ties it back.

-he’s (obviously) from Rick & Morty.

Name: Mortimer Smith Nickname: Pastel Goth Morty Age: 19 Date of Birth: Unknown Place of Birth: Unknown Gender: Male (DFAB) Race/Species: Human Language(s): English, Latin (studying), Spanish (studying)

Physical Description Height: 4′10 Weight: 117 lbs

Body Type: Endomorph Eyes: Blue Hair: Pastel pink (dyed), naturally dark brown Skin: Very pale

Personality/Attributes Fears: failure, insects & spiders, being utterly alone, being restrained, drowning Mental illness(es)/disorders: borderline personality disorder,depression Sexual Preferences: Asexual Panromantic Place/Type of Residence: Lives in a two-story house with his family Family: Jerry Smith & Beth Smith (parents), Summer Smith (sister), Ricardo “Rick” Sanchez (grandfather)

Trivia:

-his dimension is G-202.

-he has yet to find an alias to differentiate himself from all of his alternates.

-his Rick is Gothic, full-blown. Not pastel Goth like he is.

-he adores flowers, especially lillies.

-enjoys dimension hopping.

-likes to drink even though he’s not 21.

-he smokes sometimes too, but usually only around Rick.

-likes makeup.

Name: Mami Sanchez Nickname: Miami Morty Age: 19 Date of Birth: July 24th Place of Birth: Unknown Gender: Male (DFAB) Race/Species: Human Language(s): English, Spanish (learning)

Physical Description Height: 4′11 Weight: 120 lbs

Body Type: Endomorph, Triangle, (has wide hips) Eyes: Light brown, they look amber in the sunlight Hair: Pastel pink (dyed), naturally brown Skin: Caramel (he’s not tan, he’s naturally dark toned)

Personality/Attributes Personality/Attitude: Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous, arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible, sassy Fears: being completely alone, spiders, bugs, being restrained, heights Mental illness(es)/disorders: borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression Sexual Preferences: Homosexual Homoromantic Place/Type of Residence: On-the-run, is trying to find a place to live. Family: Jerry Smith & Beth Smith (parents), Summer Smith (sister), Ricardo “Rick” Sanchez (grandfather, legal guardian)

Trivia:

-Mami’s dimension is S260.

-he adores eyeliner and wears it almost all the time.

-loves cheesy 80′s movies, especially horror ones.

-is an ex-dancer, worked at a nightclub but quit years later.

-lost his Rick, doesn’t want to find him.

-has his Rick’s portal gun.

Name: Jason Dean

Nickname(s): J.D., Mr. Trenchcoat Kid Age: 17 Gender: Male Birthday:

Ethnicity: Unknown

Occupation: High School Senior

Orientation: Bisexual Biromantic

Personality: J.D. isn’t a very social person, though will talk if spoken to. Becomes protective over those he likes/loves, and won’t hesitate to murder to prove a point. Can seem charming at first, is rather manipulative.

Mental disorders/illnesses: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression

Trivia:

-due to his mother’s suicide & his strained relationship with his father, J.D.’s mental state is... well, breaking. Fast. 

-drinks slushies to deal with the pain of his mother’s suicide.

-isn’t above killing someone if it’s to his advantage.

-would kill for his s/o.

-from the musical version of Heathers.

Name: Prince Shining Armor

Birthday/Zodiac: 

Age: Adult

Gender: Male

Species: Unicorn

Orientation: Pansexual Panromantic

Personality: Brave, loyal, goofy (at times), willing to help out, stubborn, kind

Occupation: Prince of the Crystal Empire

Residence: Crystal Empire

Family: Cadance (wife), Flurry Heart (daughter), Twilight Sparkle (sister-in-law) (there are more but I’m too LAZY to put them all here)

From: MLP: Friendship is Magic

Name: Princess Twilight Sparkle

Birthday/Zodiac: 

Age: Young adult

Gender: Female

Species: Alicorn

Orientation: Asexual demiromantic

Personality: Twilight is an intelligent mare with a heart of gold. Stubborn and determined, and well... a bit of a dork. 

Occupation: Princess of the Castle of Friendship

Immediate Family: Night Light & Twilight Velvet (parents), Shining Armor (brother), Cadence (sister-in-law), Flurry Heart (niece)

Residence: Ponyville

From: MLP: Friendship is Magic

Name: Mabel Agnes Pines

Age: 13 years old Date of Birth: August 31st Gender: Female (DMAB) Race/Species: Human Language(s): English, Latin (studying)

Physical Description Height: 4′9″ Weight: 132 lbs

Body Type: petite, though is a little chubby around the waist Eyes: light brown Skin: light peach Markings/scars: has freckles splattered over her nose, has some scars from incidents she doesn’t want to remember

Other: has braces

Personality/Attributes Personality/Attitude: Mabel is a bit more carefree than Dipper. She’s stubborn and a little feisty, and has a kind heart. She can be pretty emotional, and is fiercely protective over her family. Optimistic (at first glance) but depressed on the inside. Enthusiastic and free-spirited. Fears: losing her family, Bill, spiders, being forgotten or ignored, drowning, coffins Mental illness(es)/disorders: depression, PTSD Sexual Preferences: asexual panromantic Place/Type of Residence: Currently staying in the Mystery Shack with Dipper and their grunkles Family: Mason “Dipper” Pines (twin brother), Arthur Pines & Cynthia Pines (parents), Shermie Pines (grandfather) & Mathilde Pines (grandmother), Filbrick & Caryn Pines (great-grandparents), Stanford & Stanley Pines (great-uncles)

Trivia:

-Mabel is autistic.

-she has night terrors due to Bill and the whole Weirdmageddon thing.

-she still has Waddles.

-Mabel knits sweaters and all types of shirts and even hats. She also loves bedazzling and adding glitter to outfits.

-she’s terrified of the doctor’s office and hospitals.

-Mabel’s very curious about the paranormal/supernatural.

Name: Tamaki Suoh, Full name is René Tamaki Richard de Grantaine

Age: 17 years old Date of Birth/Zodiac: April 8th/Aries Gender: Male Race/Species: Human Language(s): Japanese, French, English

Physical Description Height: 5′6″ Weight: 138 lbs

Body Type: petite, slender, slightly toned Eyes: deep blue Skin: light peach Hair: Blond

Personality/Attributes Personality/Attitude: Tamaki is... flamboyant and over-the-top. Charming, a bit narcissistic. He’s naive for his age, and outspoken. Kindhearted.  Fears:  Mental illness(es)/disorders: Unknown Sexual Preferences: Pansexual Panromantic Place/Type of Residence: The Suoh family’s second mansion Family: Yuzuru Suoh (father), Anne-Sophie de Grantaine (mother), Shizue Suoh (grandmother)

Trivia:

-he’s half Japanese and half French.

Name: Wirt Talbot

Age: 14-16 Date of Birth: Unknown Gender: Male  Race/Species: Human Language(s): English, Latin

Physical Description Height: 5′5″ Weight: 120 lbs

Body Type: slender and petite Eyes: Brown Skin: peach Hair: brown

Occupation: High School student

Personality/Attributes Personality/Attitude: Worrisome, sensitive, stubborn, pessimistic, depressing, insecure Fears: being alone, failure, losing his brother Mental illness(es)/disorders:  Sexual Preferences: Bisexual Biromantic Place/Type of Residence: A medium sized house with his family Family: Gregory Talbot (younger brother), Wilbert & Marigold Talbot (parents)

Trivia:

Name: Thomas “Tom” Lucitor 

Age: 16 Date of Birth: Unknown Gender: Male Race/Species: Demon  Language(s): English, Latin, Spanish (learning)

Physical Description Height: 5′8″ Weight: 120 lbs

Body Type: slender, slightly toned Eyes: Red, all three of them Skin: pale lavender Hair: Salmon pink

Occupation: Prince of the Underworld

Personality/Attributes Personality/Attitude: Considerable short tempered, though he’s getting much better at keeping his temper in check. Gentlemanly, easygoing, respectful, understanding, stubborn Fears: losing his temper, losing Star and his friends, not being good enough Mental illness(es)/disorders: borderline personality disorder, depression Sexual Preferences: Pansexual Panromantic Place/Type of Residence:  Family: Dave & Wrathmelior Lucitor (parents), Exasperella (aunt), Relicor Lucitor (great-grandfather)

Trivia:

-to add later.

Name: Choromatsu Matsuno

Nickname(s): Choro, Fappymatsu, Froggy Age: 24 Gender: Male Birthday: May 24th

Ethnicity: Japanese

Occupation: An Idol (secretly)

Orientation: Pansexual panromantic

Personality:  He generally considers himself the voice of reason among the group and often serves as the tsukkomi. On the other hand, he exhibits a strong weakness for girls, often becoming nervous and excited at the sight of them, and is an otakuwho is wild about idols. Currently he isn’t so obsessed with idols, especially considering he became one. He’s a little more reserved and quiet, as well.

Parents:  Matsuzō and Matsuyo Matsuno

Siblings: Osomatsu, Karamatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu, Todomatsu (sextuplets) Likes: Nyaa-chan, Totoko, anime and manga, singing and performing on stage, reading, warm weather, drinking, music Dislikes: His brothers acting up, cold weather, being called out, being embarrassed

Name: Todoko

Age: Early twenties Gender: Female

Ethnicity: Japanese

Orientation: Pansexual panromantic

Personality: Todoko is carefree and isn’t afraid to embrace her femininity. She might seem sweet at first, but she can be pretty manipulative and two-faced.

Siblings: Osoko, Karako, Choroko, Ichiko, Jyushiko (sextuplets) Likes: clothing, sweets, getting stuff for free, flowers, music, pretty people, her phone Dislikes: hot weather, being ignored, being insulted, being away from her phone for too long, getting dirty, bugs

Name: Toshi Yowai

Alias(es): Fighting Yowai, Fighting Age: 26 Gender: Male

Height: 6′6″

Weight: Unknown

Orientation: pansexual panromantic

Occupation: Professional Boxer

Personality: Toshi is a bit stubborn and hard headed, though he tries his best to be as open minded as possible. Extremely protective over his sister, he won’t hesitate to punch someone if they’re messing with her. He’s responsible and loyal to his loved ones, and if you manage to befriend him you’ll have a friend for life. Doesn’t consider himself to be intelligent, and if asked about his middle school or high school days, he’ll simply change the topic. Is a hopeless romantic and a dreamer, though he hates admitting it. Hard working, he dislikes lazy people and will be vocal about it.

Siblings: Totoko Yowai (younger sister) Likes: boxing, Totoko, romantic movies, the stars, night time, smoking, music Dislikes: large bodies of water, anyone messing with Totoko, sudden changes, feeling insecure, being told he’s dumb

Name: Totoko Yowai

Age: 24 Gender: Female Birthday: April 17th

Ethnicity: Japanese

Occupation: Works in a fish shop alongside her parents, hoping to become a famous idol soon.

Orientation: Pansexual demiromantic

Personality: Totoko has a dangerous temper and isn’t afraid to be candid and blunt to get her points across. Can be a little deceiving and two-faced to get what she wants. Vain and selfish, not to mention stubborn. Has an insane jealous streak. She’s loyal to those who manage to befriend her.

Other:

-she’s secretly a hopeless romantic and wants to be swept off her feet.

-she has an older brother, a famous boxer known as “Fighting Yowai”. His real name is Toshi.

-her star sign is Aries.

-terrified of ever becoming a mother. Is highly against the idea.

-doesn’t actually think the sextuplets are bad, but she doesn’t want them thinking she’s getting soft…

-she practices boxing.

Name: Chibita

Nickname(s): ??? Age: 22 Gender: Male Birthday: Unknown

Ethnicity: Japanese

Occupation: Oden Stand Food Vender

Orientation: Demisexual Demiromantic

Personality: responsible, short-tempered, determined, vengeful, serious

Parents: Unknown, was orphaned at a young age

Siblings: None Likes: oden, food, his job, drawing, music, stargazing Dislikes: hot weather, the Matsuno brothers (most the time), arrogant people

Name: Homura Tanabe

Nickname(s): Age: 24 Gender: Female Birthday: October 21st

Ethnicity: Japanese

Occupation: AV Girl (formerly), Jobless (currently)

Orientation: Pansexual panromantic

Personality: Homura is a kind hearted individual with a level head. Patient, good natured. Sensible, can be a little sensitive.

Parents: Yasuo & Chiyo Tanabe (parents)

Siblings: Akira Tanabe (older sister) Likes: unknown Dislikes: unknown

Other: moved back to the Akatsuka district in order to reunite with old friends.

Name: Karako

Nickname(s): Age: 24 Gender: Female

Ethnicity: Japanese

Occupation: Workout Trainer

Orientation: Pansexual panromantic

Personality: Karako’s headstrong & optimistic, not to mention stubborn & generous. Can be a little flirty, but will stop if asked.

Siblings: Osoko, Choroko, Ichiko, Jyushiko, & Todoko (sextuplets) Likes: working out, staying fit, going out, meeting new people, drinking Dislikes: unknown

Name: Ichiko Age: 24 Gender: Female Species: Human

Ethnicity: Japanese Hair color: Black Eye color: Dark dark brown, can sometimes seem like an odd shade of violet depending on the lighting

Orientation: Pansexual panromantic

Personality: [under construction]

Siblings: Osoko, Karako, Choroko, Jyushiko, Todoko (sextuplets) Likes: Animals, yoga, coffee, dancing, gossip, scary movies, cold weather, makeup Dislikes: being insulted/mocked, bright colors, hot weather

[grundyscribbling]

The Feänorians are an interesting bunch, no matter how bad they are they’re intriguing characters, but I was wondering what your opinions were of each of the brothers? Would you or do you have a rank from worst to not so bad (but bad enough)?

Opinions on Fëanorions? I think I’m in enough trouble for having opinions on Elwing today. But here goes…

The Fëanorions are tragic figures. (If anyone’s inclined to saddle up and call for their sword, please first look up the definition of tragic hero.) They collectively made a very bad decision at a moment when emotions were running high that determined the rest of their lives.

To be clear, I’m talking about the Oath. Without that, I think everything that comes after goes differently, even if Fëanor himself still swore to regain his jewels at all costs. But in their grief for their grandfather and loyalty to their father, the Fëanorions don’t think through the implications of committing themselves to such a terrible Oath, and after Alqualondë, there was no way back for any of them. (I don’t think they could simply forswear themselves. The Oath isn’t just words within the context of Arda. Look at Frodo’s warning to Gollum that the Ring was treacherous and would hold him to his word - and that was a promise by a fraction of the power of a maia. An oath that invoked the top two Valar and Eru himself would be truly fearsome in its potency. You don’t get to just walk away from it.) Then the Valar added the Doom, promising that they wouldn’t hear even the echo of their lamentation - meaning there was no way for them to beg forgiveness or to be released, no matter how much they might regret their words and actions.

I don’t really have a ranking from worst to not so bad, mostly because I see it as less a matter of ‘badness’ than who fell apart when - I think they all went slowly insane caught between the hammer of the Oath and the anvil of the Doom, and in the end, all but the twins recognized that they were trapped. (And yes, they inflicted incredible damage on everyone around them. I’m not overlooking what they did.) But I can summarize my opinions on them individually if you like. Bearing in mind this is largely my headcanons:

Amrod/Umbarto - uneasy with the Oath from the beginning, and the one who came closest to repentance. Might have actually tried to go back, but was burned at Losgar. (Yes, I subscribe to the ‘one twin died with the ships’ version.) May have been forgiven swiftly in Mandos, but it doesn’t matter given that he won’t return to life without his twin. Spends a lot of time with Finwë trying to understand where it all went wrong.

Amras/Ambarussa - had a full-on psychotic break after the death of his twin. Was the only one to tell Fëanor the unvarnished truth about himself prior to his death (and was actually heard.) Doesn’t really remember it, though, and spends the rest of his time in Beleriand being more or less babysat by his brothers, who worry that left to his own devices, he’ll end up committing passive suicide. Doesn’t give so much as a single tiny rat’s behind about the Silmarils after Losgar, though his brothers drag him along to Doriath and Sirion anyway. Fairly surprised to die at Sirion when he wasn’t even trying to. (It’s something of a relief. He missed his twin.)

Caranthir - Gets a worse rap than he deserves between the Ulfang thing and dying at Menegroth. Was not involved in his brothers’ shenanigans with Luthien, Beren, or Nargothrond, so should not be tarred with their brush. Commits suicide by Sindar in Menegroth because he’s just so done with the entire freaking disaster.

Curufin- Realized fairly early on in Beleriand how screwed he and his brothers were between the Oath and the Doom. Went a little crazy trying to keep the combination of both from rebounding onto non-Oath takers. (Didn’t succeed. Knows it.) From his own point of view, everything he did in Nargothrond or Menegroth made perfect sense. Dies thinking he was named perfectly, seeing how he ended up exactly like his father - his actions pretty much wrecked his son’s life. Probably spent most of the second half of the Second Age curled into the fetal position after he found out what happened to Celebrimbor.

Celegorm - I actually feel sorry for him. He was all about family and animals, and the Oath completely destroyed his family and lost him his dog. Lost Aredhel because he’s a hardheaded idiot - she didn’t wander into Eöl’s forest until after he’d pretended to be ‘out hunting’ for too long - then fell for Luthien, because he has the worst timing ever. Was mad as a hatter by the time of the kinslaying at Menegroth. Didn’t particularly care if he died as long as he killed Dior on the way out. Was actually kind of hoping for Everlasting Darkness/non-existence if it meant he didn’t have to remember anything anymore.

Maedhros - knew in Alqualondë there was no way this was going to end well. Tortured by Morgoth. Knows he was let go by Morgoth - understands he would do more damage free than as a thrall. Fails to stop himself from doing just that. Basically a self-loathing ball of depression hoping to die after the Second Kinslaying. Things get a little better for a little while after the Third, because having the twins around to look after gives him a way to avoid the reality of his situation and lets him feel like he’s doing something right for a change. Then after everything, when he finally gets his hands on a Silmaril and it burns him, he knows Morgoth won. Fully expects that his death will kill his last surviving brother, but can no longer muster the energy to care - he just wants the pain to stop.

Maglor - Held it together the longest, despite knowing no later than the time of Maedhros’ captivity in Angband that this is one big disaster and NOT what he’s cut out for. But he saw no way out. (Blames himself for every second his older brother remained in Angband and every injury to him while he was there. Fingon’s rescue just proves to him how utterly useless he is. Knows his uncle and cousins loathe him.) Misses the wife he left in Aman, but believes she wouldn’t want him anymore even if he were somehow permitted to return. Couldn’t even die right after regaining a Silmaril. Eventually fell so far down the rabbit-hole of self-loathing that he wandered around refusing all company for Ages of the world.

[totesmccoats]

  Batman and the Signal #1

After years of teasing and buildup, Duke Thomas finally has a suit and a codename. As the Signal, he protects Gotham during the day, when the Bats are all sleeping. Besides being the only non-nocturnal member of the Bat-family, he’s also the first with powers, albeit, powers he doesn’t quite understand. He can “read” light, and is able to reconstruct images of where it’s been and where it’s going. Essentially, he has the ability to rewind and fast-forward his perception.

His first assignment, given to him by Batman, is to investigate the recent spree of metahuman teenagers – like Duke – popping up in Gotham. But even with his training under Batman, there’s no guarantee he’ll even survive his first day.

Duke Thomas has always been a breath of fresh air to the recent Batman mythos. For one, he’s not a dark haired white guy. (I know Todd was blond at one point; and also wish that Damian was more often depicted as half-Asian, but he’s not.) He’s also been a bit of a perpetual outsider; someone a distance removed from the Bats and Robins. So it makes sense to give him an entire 12 hours to himself, to become his own type of hero. He’s also got his own crew, the former members of We Are Robin, whom he’s let into his superhero life. In one issue, he’s already showing how he’s doing things his own way.

On the art side of things, Hammer and Martin are showing us a side of Gotham we don’t often see; what it looks like during the day. But also, Duke takes them into the streets more than the rooftops. Being a daytime hero means more groundwork, and also running into more people as they go through their daily routines. Despite what we usually see of the city, during the day, Gotham can be surprisingly bright and spacious. And the modern style of the new Wayne-funded developments even give the city a few shades of Metropolis. The brightness continues through Duke’s costume, which takes the yellow highlights found in Batman and the Robin’s costumes, and makes it the primary color. Eventually, even his black chestpiece is replaced with a more reflective material, bouncing the light back rather than absorbing it.

Between the half dozen Batman books DC has running at any given time, it’s easy to feel overexposed by Gotham city. Turns out all you need to make it feel new again is let the sunshine in.

  Batman: White Knight #4

Jack continues with his plan to take over Gotham – nicely – announcing his run for city councilman; and turning his campaign launch into a PR stunt when he gets Batman and Gordon to interrupt and arrest him for no reason. Blackport is already overwhelmingly in favor of Jack, and the rest of Gotham is slowly turning. Even Gordon is convinced by Jack’s plan to use the Batman fund to instead fund a new team of super-cops; and Jack hopes that Gordon can convince Batgirl and Nightwing to turn as well.

Meanwhile, Neo-Joker leads the mind-controlled villains on a raid of Gotham PD headquarters to steal files and find a way for her to reawaken Joker. She also tells Mad Hatter how she came to meet, and fall for, the supervillain.

But, for my money, the most interesting development is that Harley senses that somewhere along the line, Jack legitimately turned his plan to get revenge on Batman and the GCPD into a way to save and improve Gotham. And if anyone would know, it would be her, the person who knows him best, and a professional psychologist. Maybe the Joker really is dead.

And, of course, Batman keeps playing right into Jack’s hands – almost causing a riot at his campaign launch, and pushing Gordon away by refusing to listen to a plan that could help them both. If Bruce still has a chance at saving his own hind, he’s letting it slip past him awfully quickly.

SGM is really out-doing himself with the art in this series too, and can switch things from the sweetness of Jack and Harley spending a night out together, to the brutality of this Batman’s ways of taking out criminals, and the pathos of Neo-Joker’s backstory. Plus, there’s a garage full of the GCPD’s idea of what their Batmobiles should be like, and if there’s one thing he goes all out on – it’s cars.

  Batman #38

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, although, I can assure you you haven’t. One rich kid, two murdered parents, a butler, a desire for vengeance. But this isn’t Bruce Wayne. It’s Matthew, the son of a couple who worked on Wayne’s board. As Bruce, he assures Matthew that the person behind the murders will be caught, and that he’ll be taken care of. As Batman, he investigates. The first suspect is Zsasz. Shortly after this discovery, Zsasz’s parents are found dead in their home. But Zsasz didn’t do it. Then, another couple is killed.

Coming off the perfectly delightful Superfriends two-parter, King reminds us he can also write twisted noir Batman with this one-shot story that’s a twist, not just of the Batman origin story, but of all the twists on the Batman origin to come before it. It also plays into King’s larger arc of Bruce Wayne trying to heal past the trauma that’s defined him. Just because Matthew is very much like Bruce Wayne, and looks up to Bruce Wayne, does not make him Bruce Wayne, nor any of the Robins or other heroes with similar backstories. Sometimes, tragedy doesn’t result in heroes.

And, despite the darkness of this issue in particular, King still finds places to inject humor. The clues Batman ends up following to solve the mystery, down to his final deduction, could’ve come straight from the Adam West show – just add blood.

  Justice League #36

Following the opening of a congressional investigation into the Justice League, the chairwoman leading the investigation is assassinated by a Batman doppelganger. The next day, the public pressure from the investigation and assassination, as well as personal agendas not lining up with the team’s charter, further increases fissures in team cohesion as they try to prevent another international incident involving a nuclear sub in Chinese waters.

I can’t remember the last comic book to make me so stressed. If Priest succeeds in one thing this issue, it’s selling how stressed everyone in the League is at the moment. Aquaman’s balancing being part of the League with being the King of his people; Wonder Woman is starting to think that Batman’s rules are interfering with her mission of peace; Superman’s being called to testify at congressional hearings; Simon feels that the League’s charter is preventing him from saving lives; and Batman’s gotta somehow heard all these cats while also dealing with a doppleganger using his example to kill people. It’s a lot to deal with, and adding to all of it, the public ain’t the biggest fan of vigilantism right now.

I’m also really enjoying Wood’s art on this series. It’s bold and colorful, unabashedly heroic, almost to prove by aesthetics alone how necessary the League is in spite of the public’s doubts. On the other hand, he perfectly captures the stress in every heroes face as they deal with each-other and other mounting stressors. They’re larger than life, but also relatably human – a very fine line that he nonetheless walks.

  Green Arrow #38

Another Ferreyra illustrated issue, hell yeah! I don’t think I get this excited over any other artist. He kills it every issue he’s on. This one included. From Dinah kneeing Ollie in the balls, to a sunset on the beach, to an underground fight; he does it all with style and personality.

After Dinah and Henry rescue Ollie from the trench in the Pacific ocean Moira abandoned him in, Ollie has to make things up to Dinah for almost getting himself killed in the pursuit of money. Meanwhile, Moira resurfaces and reconnects with Malcolm Merlyn, and together, hope to pay back her debt to the Ninth Circle. Unfortunately for them, they’ve decided they’re already settled.

How else could this issue end but a three way fight between team Arrow, Moira and Malcolm, and the assassin the Ninth Circle sent to collect their debt? Well, many ways; but none as satisfying.

  Black Bolt #9

Black Bolt and Blinky visit Titania to tell her that her husband is dead. And then the three of them hold a funeral for Crusher Creel. It starts with a toast at his local watering hole, and ends with a visit from Captain America and Odinson, who come to pay their respects to a worthy adversary who died a hero’s death.

This issue got to me. I’m no bastion of emotional fortitude or nothing, but, because of everything leading up to this, this death meant something, and Crusher’s funeral means something too. Within the pages of this story, Crusher found love and redemption. That his funeral drew heroes and villains alike says that his life mattered because in the end, he chose to give his own for someone else’s. It’s a simple story, but a powerful one. We’re all loved. We all matter. No matter where we come from, we can all choose to be heroic. And that will matter too.

  Hawkeye #14

Kate remains captured by Eden, who gives her a moment with her mother to convince her to turn her back on Clint.

Meanwhile, Clint and Kate’s friends make a plan to find where Eden took Kate, and save her. The plan Clint comes up with after finding out where Eden and Kate are? Kidnap Madame Masque, who’s still in a Kate clone body, and pull the ol’ switcharoo on Eden. Like most of Clint’s plans, he hasn’t thought this one entirely through.

This is mainly a Clint issue, and it’s great how Thompson continues the tradition of writing Clint as an almost utter fuckup, but importantly, a likable fuckup who always tries his best.

  Rise of the Black Panther #1

This series, which serves as a retelling of T’Challa’s origins and early years as Black Panther, has two Black Panther’s in it, neither of whom are T’Challa. The book begins with his grandfather Azzuri meeting Captain America and the two working together to defend Wakanda from Hydra; then follows the reign of T’Chaka, as told by his first wife, and T’Challa’s mother, N’Yami. Together, the story tells of two kings who broke tradition for the betterment of Wakanda. Azzuri gave vibranium to an outsider so that he could use it to save the world; and T’Chaka made a common woman his Queen, and gave her the resources she needed to study vibranium and develop new technologies from it. But, it is also a story of Wakanda being pulled onto the world stage as it is attacked by outsiders for the first time. Wakanda is able to repel them, but always at a cost.

This first issue does a great job at establishing the legacy that T’Challa inherits from his forefathers; a legacy of a recently unified country just beginning to expand past its history of secrecy. It presents T’Challa inheriting a country at the height of its power, but also, at its most vulnerable. It also establishes that whatever T’Challa does, he’s following in the footsteps of imperfect men. This issue ends with the stakes being that T’Challa has to be a Black Panther unlike any Wakanda has ever known. The next ones will have to tell us how he begins to become that.

  Paper Girls #19

The Girls, and Chris, decide to find old!Tiff before she gets smushed by the giant robots, and when we meet old!Tiff, she has a run in of her own with some future-folk. And through the whole issue, including the Girls and Chris finding old!Tiff and going to a church for safety, Mac doth protest KJ’s lesbianism way too much, to the point where her edginess begins irking the other characters.

Like pretty much every issue this arc, this one moves quickly, ending almost before you know it. And, a lot of this issue is characters playing catch-up with one another as they go over that Tiff is married to Chris, Tiff can see the fighting robots, and time-war. Like, it makes sense in-universe that the characters have to re-explain everything to the people who weren’t there for the initial exposition, but being that we the audience presumably know most of this, it stalls the issue and the overall story a bit too much.

Crosswind #6

Cason and Juniper finally meet in Seattle and prepare to defend themselves and each-other’s friends and families from the gang coming to kill them all.

Like all great finales, this is an issue full of self-actualization and beautiful bloody coups de grace, mostly from June, who finally stands up to her whimpering douchebag husband. Cason also actualizes, deciding what he wants to do with the rest of his life, being that he can’t go back after today. By the end of the issue, Simone manages to bring all of her characters to satisfying places, while still giving them some room for inferred growth.

Staggs, meanwhile, gets to finally deliver on the action and blood front, and even draws a poignant send off for her recently departed dog.

The final panel of this issue promises more Crosswind, but with such a satisfying ending, I have to hope the series continues as an anthology, showing us another incredibly freaky-friday.

Comic Reviews 1/3/18 Batman and the Signal #1 After years of teasing and buildup, Duke Thomas finally has a suit and a codename.

[myhauntedsalem]

23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends

1. He doesn’t have a face

“My son from the age of three always tells me about the ‘creeper man’ who lives in my mom and dad’s bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said ‘Oh, he doesn’t have a face.’”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

“A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.”

3. Little girl ghost

“When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville Horror (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when the dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’”

4. Bad rabbit

“My cousin, when she was 5, and I was 17, had a stuffed rabbit that she talked to and carried everywhere. One day she was asleep on the couch while I was watching her, and she woke up and started yelling at her rabbit for no reason. One minute she was knocked out, the next, she’s awake, glaring at her rabbit, yelling, ‘No! You can’t do that! That’s bad! Don’t do it!’ I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. I finally just took the rabbit up to her room, and when I came back down she was asleep on the couch again. Fuck whatever that rabbit was planning on doing.”

5. Roger won’t be around anymore…

“My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and nine kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

6. A boy in the tree

“My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says, ‘What’s that boy doing up in that tree?’ There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.”

7. The bunny man

“When I was 16, I babysat twins who were in the third grade at the time. They always spoke of a man in an Easter Bunny costume, and they were terrified of him. One day I was babysitting, and one twin was in the shower. His brother and I were sitting downstairs watching television when all of the sudden, he said, ‘You need to go check on Matt.’ Seconds later, Matt yelled, ‘He’s in here!!! He’s in here!!!’ I ran upstairs, and I had to check every room before he would calm down. I’m not sure which part of the experience freaked me out the most.”

8. Poor Shaggy

When my mom was younger she had an imaginary friend named Shaggy. When she was finished with Shaggy, she ‘chopped him up and put him in the fridge.’”

9. “Smash Daddy’s head”

“When my brother was just learning how to talk he grabbed one of those small toy hammers and crawled onto the sofa where my dad was sleeping. He then leant in close and whispered one of his first sentences… ‘Smash daddy’s head’ right into his ear.”

10. Dark angels

When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!’”

11. “That’s the man”

“My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.”

12. Message from beyond

“My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say, ‘What? OK I’ll tell her.’ She then got up, came into our bedroom, and told my wife, ‘Mary says you’re doing a good job.’ Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close to that passed away.”

13. I called him Spooky Guy

“As a kid, I said that my imaginary friend was a ghost. I called him Spooky Guy and said he died in the garage of the house on the hill behind ours. I even came up with his death. He was a 16 year old who got in a car crash and walked to that house to ask to use their phone (died in the 70’s). The person lived there grabbed him and sexually abused him there and killed him. He was my imaginary friend as far back as I can remember. This scared my mom so much that she tried to look up records to see if that happened and got me a therapist.”

14. Icy wants me to tell you it will be tonight

“In high school one of my best friends had a little sister who was five or six years old. One day we stopped by his place, completely high, because he needed to get his Magic cards. While waiting for him to come downstairs his sister came up to me and said, ‘Icy told me to ask you if you know when you’re going to die.’”

I laughed nervously: morbid question, right? But I knew all about Icy, her imaginary friend. I even helped her draw a picture of him once. So I played along and said, ‘No, of course not! No one knows that. Hopefully when I’m very old.’

The girl shook her head sadly and said, ‘No, Icy wants me to tell you it’ll be tonight.’ And with that, she just walked away.”

15. It is the punishment

“I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old boy. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘Leave us. It is the punishment.’”

16. Keep kicking

“My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in New Hampshire when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.”

17. Nope

“When my boy was 4, his imaginary friend would sit in the corner of the room when you switched off the lights and light the room with red glowing eyes.”

18. They were both dead

“Kid I used to babysit had imaginary friends. They were dead. One had no head. One was an old lady. They were both bloody. The one with no head had insides sticking out of his neck.

I didn’t ask him questions about them because fuck that.”

19. Tracy

“When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, ‘Why don’t I find out more about this friend?’ So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, ‘She’s a she and she’s dead.’ And I said, ‘Does she have a job?’ And she said, ‘She does what my daddy does!’ Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. So then I said, ‘Where is your imaginary friend a police woman at?’ And she said, ‘Right next I to where my daddy is a policeman.’ But then she said, ‘I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched it when I was inside.’

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my niece’s ‘daddy.’ My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.”

20. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

“When my kid was 4, we were watching a documentary on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the TV and said, ‘That’s wrong. The boilers were on the other side. And I was right here.’ And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. ‘That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.’”

21. Emily

“When my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and I could hear my sister just screaming and screaming.”

“I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sisters little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.”

22. She floated above his bed at night

“When my younger brother was around 4, he had an imaginary friend named Victoria Meadowbrooke. He told us that she was the prettiest girl ever and she floated above his bed a night.”

23. “The Evil is coming”

“When my older daughter was two or three, she used to have a couple of imaginary friends, Dodo and DeeDee. They were typical imaginary friends. She would talk to them and play with them, and tell me about their lives. Then one day, when she was about three, she was talking on her play phone when I walked into the room. She hung up her phone and said to me (with a completely flat voice and deadpan expression): ‘The Evil is coming.’”

[theomachys]

a story of repeating regret

the modern reincarnation au no one asked for ( or, nikolai, faina, and discussions of a past king )   — nikolai x faina

history textbook lying face down over his stomach, nikolai stares at the ceiling and sighs. his good leg dangles off the couch, barefooted and swinging dangerously close to the cup of coffee balanced precariously on a stack of books. the other leg, encased in thick plaster with half the campus’ names and well wishes scrawled over the surface, lies immobile, propped up by whichever ratty cushions his roommates were able to find.

not prime date location, he thinks. the stack of unwashed dishes in the sink alone kills any romantic mood that might’ve sprung up. although he can’t blame his roommates’ filthy habits either. this is emphatically not a date—it’s a tutoring session. a hard won tutoring session in the comfort of his shared apartment on campus because faina volkov is too kind hearted to make him limp all the way across campus to the library.

nikolai is not used to people being kind.

“my mother says a piece of happiness escapes with every sigh,” faina comments. soft brown hair held back with a blue scrunchie, she glances over at him. her eyes are hidden by her black frames, and nikolai thinks that’s a crying shame, but moments later he’s distracted by a glimpse of her exposed neck, of pale skin he’s spent far too long fantasising about and—

what the fuck. he blinks and shakes his head. the rooms spins a bit. get a hold of yourself.

“your mom’s a nice lady.” nikolai tosses back. “cheerful.” as if he has any happiness to lose. his perpetual bitter mood has made him a ‘boring emo fuckhead’ in the words of some of his friends. faina is one of the only people willing to endure his company for an extended period of time (and yeah, he’ll blame his attachment on that). both grateful and frustrated, he tries to bite his tongue, unwilling to drive her away, but he knows she can see the black cloud hovering over his head.

she stares at him with pursed lips and taps her pen against her mouth. it’s not helping. “having trouble?”

“more like finding it hard to give a fuck.” a history of the akulakrovi clan is a horrible class and nikolai can’t believe he has to take it for his political science degree. it just doesn’t make sense. if it hadn’t been for his injury, he wouldn’t have bothered showing up. but if he hadn’t shown up (and failed the midterm), he would have never met faina, the soft spoken med student one year below him and a hell of a lot smarter.

so, wins and losses.

“nikolai.” her voice is quietly amused, as if holding back a laugh. faina reaches forward and picks up the history textbook from his stomach and he jerks upright, heart hammering in his chest. even through the fabric of his shirt, her touch burns him—not entirely unpleasantly. brows furrowed, faina pauses. “is everything okay?”

his throat is dry. he swallows. “fine.” to cover up his awkward, visceral reaction, he says, “by the way, i said you could call me kolya. my friends all do.”

her eyes widen.  “i… i didn’t know we were friends,” she says carefully. he thinks he catches a hint of uncertainty in her eyes and yes, okay, he can understand that. they’ve been doing these tutoring sessions for less than two months and faina is not the kind of girl he would find himself hanging out with in normal circumstances. prince nikolai akulakrovi is not only royalty but also one of elv university’s star athletes. compared to that, faina volkova is nobody. this is past the realm for jock-and-nerd cliches; it’s downright strange.

“‘course we are.” nikolai leaves no room for argument, at least not about this.

faina smiles and he thinks of springtime, of flowers beginning to bloom. before he can say anything else, the smile has faded and her head is bent over the history book she liberated from him. “this is your family’s history. how is it not interesting?”

she has a point—it is his blasted clan’s history. but then again. “it’s just a bunch of names on a page,” nikolai says. he leans back and resumes staring at the ceiling. “doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“what about your namesake?”

the history book is shoved in his face unceremoniously, open to the chapter on king nikolai petrov akulakrovi, born 1470. “you mean the worst king elv’s ever had,” nikolai says flatly. the king reigned immediately after the war of nations and instituted numerous reforms in the kingdom, most of which were not very popular. in fact, elv hated them so much that the next successor was chosen from the takret clan, who immediately undid all of the former king’s policies. there wouldn’t be another akulakrovi in power until nikolai’s great-grandfather.

“what? no!” her mouth drops open, as if she can’t even conceive of anyone disliking the old man. “king nikolai was a great ruler.” and faina sounds so sure of this, as if she’s saying the sky is blue or grass is green.

nikolai scoffs. “he sucked. not as bad as, you know, emperor daehyun of surya or anything, but he sucked.” more than just balls, probably. or not balls. hell, he doesn’t know. “his own people didn’t want his son on the throne.”

“he was progressive,” faina insists. she must be a fan. there are plenty of them nowadays—he’s their favourite old history dude because his morals are closely aligned with beliefs today. “elv wasn’t ready for it then.”

“sucked.”

“nikolai—”

“kolya,” he repeats. she crosses her arms over her chest. “oh, come on. he’s dead anyway.” dead for centuries, his bones probably lying at the bottom of the sea. of all the akulakrovis to be named after, why did it have to be that one? nikolai has always had an issue with it. what if history repeats itself?

after a tense pause, faina sits down with the book in hand. “he was a good soldier,” she says finally. “and a good ruler, and a good husband.”

ah, dammit. don’t say anything, he tells himself, but of all the myths this is the one he hates the most. “yeah? flip ahead to page 236.” 

faina gives him a quizzical look but does as he says. “nikolai married freya evighet, lady in waiting to the queen.” she reads out loud. her voice is gentle, like a spring breeze that ruffles one’s hair and dances across their face. “the story of their courtship was widely documented and the basis of many popular songs and plays of the time—why am i reading this?”

“skip ahead a paragraph.”

“in 2015, historians uncovered a partially destroyed letter reportedly written by king nikolai himself to a mystery lover and—oh.” she flips over the reproduced copy of the letter, donated to the elvan historical foundation by nikolai’s father last year after they’d found it one of the castle’s storage rooms.

to my dear [illegible] you will, no doubt, think of me as an idiot for writing this. spies are everywhere even within elv, and a letter like this one would be treasure to my enemies. i know [illegible] …

i will marry freya. it will not be terrible (or so i am telling myself) as she is my best friend of many years and i believe she loves me. her father commands troops of [illegible] …

i could not refuse without hurtling her. i did consider running away, but i knew you would frown on that. duty—we both understand it, do we not? i do not want to be a coward who shirks from his responsibilities. but neither do i want to be untrue to myself. i love [illegible] …

in some other life, perhaps we are allowed a chance. a chance that has been denied to us by the gods now. perhaps in another life, we are unapologetically in love, even married. perhaps in another life, i am not a prince or you are a princess. perhaps [illegible] …

be happy. kolya

a pause. silence settles in the dingy little apartment and nikolai almost laughs because this is weird. it’s like telling your girlfriend your grandfather used to be a gigolo or something equally ridiculous. as far as dirty little secrets go, it’s not a bad one ( barring the fact that people have come forward since claiming to descended from king nikolai’s bastard son ), but it is strange to think the man he’s named after wasn’t the perfect king.

( although maybe it shouldn’t be surprising—nikolai’s not the perfect prince either ).

“this is so sad,” faina breathes. she touches the page gently, almost reverently, and closes her eyes. the expression on her face is distant. forcing himself to sit up, nikolai stares at her and wonders what she’s thinking of. he wonders if he ruined something for her. “this is terrible. he loved someone he couldn’t be with.”

“is it?” irritability bleeds into his voice. “isn’t it just another weakness to add to the list? couldn’t keep his country together, couldn’t keep his people happy, couldn’t love his wife—or couldn’t gather up the guts to leave her. one mess after another.” and—fine, fine, fine. he is officially projecting. dragging a hand down his face, nikolai exhales loudly. wouldn’t it be grand if this is his destiny too?

warmth engulfs his hand. nikolai starts and glances down—faina covers it with her own and gives him a tentative smile. “i don’t think it’s a weakness.” her voice doesn’t waver. “it takes a lot of strength to do your duty. it takes a lot of strength to what necessary, not what you want to do.” he gets the feeling she isn’t only talking about the ancient king and his heart swells in his chest.

“i’m scared,” nikolai blurts out. “i’m scared i’ll end up like him, you know? become king, fuck up badly and have people turn against me. i’m scared it’ll happen now. hell, after i broke my leg, it’s like people couldn’t get away from me fast enough. i know i fucked up. i know i did. i never should have gotten hurt. i let people down; i let my team down, but they just… abandoned me.” he points at the cast. “those signatures? they mean nothing. i don’t know what i’m worth anymore.”  

the problem is that he can understand his ancestor all too well. it is why he fears king nikolai petrov akulakrovi’s failures will be his own. his shoulders slump. “you’re… not my therapist.” it’s not fair to dump the worries he’s been stewing over for weeks on her. faina does not need to hear his. forcing a grin, he says, “you can tell me to shut up.”

but she doesn’t say anything, just continues to hold his hand. her thumb brushes over his knuckles and he tries to remember how to breathe, and dammit how is he supposed to observe boundaries when her hands and soft and small, the perfect size to be tucked into his? “i like you.” barely above a whisper, faina says, “even if no one else is, i’m here for you.”

i want you, nikolai almost replies. he doesn’t mean ‘want you to be here for me’ or ‘want you to stay’ or anything else. he wants her and he’s too fucking cowardly to say so. old king nikolai married lady freya instead of his lover out of a sense of duty, and at least one can argue that is noble. prince nikolai can’t ask his tutor out because he’s afraid of what she might say. he’s afraid of what other people might say. most of all, the anchor of his nonexistent-but-still-official long distance relationship with lady rose evergreen of durr hangs around his neck, dragging him down to the depths.

he brings her hand up and presses his lips against her smooth skin. nikolai hears faina’s breath hitch but she doesn’t pull away nor break the silence. she smells like cherry blossoms, he notices idly, and wonders how he’ll play this off as a joke. when he lets go of her hand, faina blinks at him. head tilted to the side, she waits for an explanation, cradling her hand against her chest. spots of pink color her cheeks and nikolai is miserable because he’d like nothing more than to lean over and kiss her. 

i’m sorry, he says silently. nikolai is not brave enough to move forward yet. someday he might be, but for now, he’ll stay where he is. out loud, “we should get back to the books, yeah?” focused on digging his notebook out from the cracks of the couch, he nearly misses the flicker of disappointment flashing across faina’s face.

“oh, yes. we have a test tomorrow.” her voice trembles slightly and nikolai pretends not to notice. faina brushes her hair away from her face and grabs her notes. she’s not looking at him on purpose—he deserves it. mixed signals aren’t fun to decipher. nikolai hopes he doesn’t seem like he is toying with her. he isn’t. he’s toying with himself.

flipping open to a blank page while faina busies herself with gathered their study materials, nikolai grabs a pen and stares at it. seized by sudden impulse, he scrawls a few words on the corner of the page and rips it out. the folded note is then slipped into one of faina’s textbooks. if he can’t say it… this is the only way nikolai will allow himself to express his feelings. he hopes that one day, she’ll find it.

faina, i like you. i like you a lot.

[whichie]

Smile, Baby Ch. 1

summary: Adam Parrish has always been a happy child. Correction, Adam Parrish has always seemed like a happy child. In truth, he was miserable all the time, forced to smile and laugh through the pain no one else could see. When he was a baby Robert Parrish had sold his son’s misery to the witches in Fox Way for money that he later used to further his gambling addiction, instead of food for his wife and newborn child. What the witches did with Adam’s misery he didn’t know, but Adam was cursed with eternal happiness, and there was nothing he wouldn't do to break it. 

Ronan Lynch was once surrounded by love. His mother and father had had three boys, two magical, one not. Their family was a mystical one, something the villagers of Henrietta might say. Mystical. Because though the Lynch family has owned the forest known as Cabeswater for as long as anyone can remember, the family themselves have always been a mystery to them. They knew that for all it’s looks Cabeswater is more than just an ordinary forest. They knew the Lynches were more than just an ordinary family.

a/n: whoooooo! i finally finished chapter one!!!! i hope yall enjoy this au that i poured my heart and soul into, also i don't have a beta so sorry for any errors you might find :/

read it on ao3

Adam Parrish is annoyed. He’s angry. He’s ready to throw his hammer at Boyd’s head just to get him to shut up.

He doesn't do that, because Adam needs this job to pay for school, and if that means working for someone who he can't stand, then he will. Adam thinks Boyd would be a pleasant person to be around for anybody else, he’s not very demanding, he lets him take breaks, and he pays better than a blacksmith should be able to. For anybody else, he’s golden. Key word, anybody else.

 Anyone but Adam, that’s a good summary of his life. Anyone but Adam can afford to go to Aglionby, anyone but Adam can can go to that festival that’s happening because they don't have work to do, anyone but Adam can tell people to fuck off and scream in their faces. Anyone but Adam can tolerate Boyd when he’s in a talkative mood.

“...and so because of those witches, my mother thinks she’s going to meet some handsome fellow soon. That damn woman believing in all that voodoo, it’s not good for her health. And i said to her that no fellow is going to sweep her off her feet at eighty two…”

Adam tuned Boyd out and continued to work on the sword some fancy lord commissioned for his spoiled son that no doubt has a million other swords. It’s fucking grueling.

When the forge closed down for the day Adam walked as slowly home as he could get away with, he wanted to delay whatever beatings his father had in mind for him as long as possible. Instead, he thought of how much homework he needs to do tonight, and how he’s not looking forward to any of it. Adam is tired, he’s angry and tired and all he can show for it is a smile that’s perpetually on his face.

Everyone in town thinks Adam’s the sweetest kid around, they say what a nice boy and that Parish kid, always smiling, when they don't know that underneath the mask Adam is screaming at them to shut up, stop talking about him like they know him. Adam parish is unknowable.

When he entered the small, run down cottage him and his parents live in, he immediately knows that he won’t be able to quietly slip into his room unnoticed. His father has been to the inn close by tonight, no doubt drowning in ale and gambling his life away.

He sees his father at the kitchen table with his mother somberly knitting next to him. “What are you smiling at kid? What, is your life at that snooty school so great you came to rub it in?”

Adam wanted to scream, he hates that phrase. What are you smiling at? His father knows what Adam’s smiling at. Absolutely nothing. 

Robert Parrish was on his feet and in front of Adam in no time, he could see his mother in the corner of his eye, staring intently at her needles while her hands stayed stone still.

“Do you think you’re better than me? I feed you, I clothe you. Who’s roof do you sleep under every night, huh?” by now Robert has Adam by the front of his shirt, tangling his fist in Adam’s hair and pulling. “Ungrateful little shit.”

Adam was pushed on the floor and so many words are bubbling up to the surface now. He wanted to cry, he wanted to punch, he wanted to yell and fight back and say look what you did, this is your fault, you no good gambling drunk- 

The words caught in his throat, like they always do, so close to the surface he feels like he’s going to explode with the force of it.

Adam doesn't say anything. He smiles and smiles through every punch his father gives him, and when it's over he limps to his room and wishes he could cry.

Aglionby Academy is where rich kids go to fuck around and spend their parent’s money, it’s where Richard Campbell Gansey III sits on his throne, and it’s the closest thing Adam has to a home. How pathetic.

Richard Gansey is the most confusing person he has ever met. He’s a king within the walls of the academy, everyone knows him, everyone loves him, and yet Adam has never seen Gansey be rude to a single person. He’s constantly trying to befriend Adam, which is the most confusing thing of all, and is the only person Adam has ever met that can stand Ronan Lynch’s bullshit.

Ronan, on his part, doesn't seem to acknowledge Adam’s existence at all, which is fine by him. Adam doesn’t want the validation of another self entitled rich boy.

He also has heard of the things the villagers in town say about Ronan and his family, how they're a bunch of magic users that take people into their forest and kill them. Adam thinks it’s a bunch of shit that the housewives tell their children so that they don't wander into the woods and get hurt, but he also can't help but wonder if it’s actually true. Ronan’s attitude certainly hasn't helped lift the rumors, quite the opposite in fact.

Adam was walking into the academy when he first heard it, the sounds of rustling leaves like whispers. He looked around to see if anyone was messing with him, but all of the kids were going about their business as usual. He turned to go back inside, but the thought wouldn't leave him that there were no trees this deep into town.

The next time it happened Adam was in class, it was harder to brush it off this time since he wasn't outdoors where the wind would naturally blow. He paused in what he was writing to listen more carefully, and he swears he could almost hear words being spoken along with the rustling. He chalked it up to not getting enough sleep, and then went back to his paper.

He was in Boyd’s forge next when he heard the distinct sound of whispers in Latin mixed with leaves blowing in the wind. Or maybe the whispers were the leaves rustling, Adam couldn’t quite tell.

He can now distinctly make out a couple of words here and there, but nothing he could use to make sense of it all. It also wasn't as easy to ignore now than it was earlier in the day, and he found himself almost burning his fingers off on the hot metals he’s working with.

Boyd seemed to notice how distracted he was, and told Adam to leave early, “I won’t be having you mess up an order just because you’re head’s in the clouds.”

He tried to protest, say that he was fine to work, but Boyd wasn't having any of it, and he eventually left the forge before it was even nightfall.

On his way home, the whispers and rustling grew louder and louder, until he could make out what was being said.

Come this way, follow me.

And now Adam was seriously doubting his mental health, he must be having delusions because of the stress. Why else would he be hearing things that he shouldn't possibly be hearing?

Come to the woods, follow the line.

And it seemed like it should be the craziest thing ever, to just listen to the voice in his head to go into a creepy forest by himself, but in the moment it wasn't all that ridiculous. He could see a faint blue glow of something on the ground going in the direction of the tree line, and before his brain could even register it, he was moving.

Distantly, he wonders how his father would react when he will no doubt be coming home late. He wonders if his father will even notice, or be conscious at all for that matter, to see Adam sneaking in through the only door.

He stopped when he reached the trees, sudden trepidation was crawling into his chest. This is private property, and Adam is going to just waltz right in.

His caution didn't last long when a strong breeze tore through the forest and caused the trees to move unnaturally, like they're reaching out for him encouragingly, and not in the creepy way that he would have expected.

He slowly put one foot forward, and when someone didn't pop out from behind a bush to cart him off to the jail for trespassing, he continued on.

The setting sun was casting a soft light onto the canopy above him, and Adam walked with a look of awe on his face. The deeper he went the bigger, twistier, and older the trees got, like if he went far enough he could find the grandfather tree of them all.

The blue line that he’s been following has been getting more and more visible the farther he walks, and it suddenly disappeared when he entered a clearing that could be nothing other than a farm.

Standing in front of the sprawling farmhouse was none other than Ronan Lynch himself with an uncharacteristic look of  anticipation and nervousness, and when he noticed Adam approaching, he huffed out a bewildered laugh and looked up into the tops of the trees.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

[1890ish-foursquare]

The Initial Journey

I grew up about a half block from Lucy, our new-to-us American Foursquare with Queen Anne Influence. I knew the man who owned the home, but couldn’t pick him out of a crowd. I’d ride my bike past the house, my already-inatuated-with-old-homes little 8 year old eyes ogling at the size, the expansive front porch, the sheer perfection of the landscaping, not a paint flake in sight. I remember being reminded of the Victorian homes in Disney’s Lady and the Tramp, and thinking it’d be right at home on Lady’s block, its stately form holding its own against the massive Italianates and delicate Eastlake Victorians. 

Gib Martin owned the home, and had for a long time, from what I understood. More on him after I can gather more history from his daughters (who are ecstatic we’re rescuing her and bringing her into the 21st century). He was friends with my grandfather and they hunted together. He was married to my cousin’s grandma, so I only knew the home truly as “Grandma Mary’s House.” She’d come up in passing with chats with my cousin, I knew my cousin cleaned her house, but until December 2018, that’s where my knowledge ended. 

“Gib should give me his house,” I started telling my mom, beginning my habitual needling over a thing I wanted. We’d just moved back to town after selling our first home in the Chicago Suburbs, and were looking at everything that didn’t work. Eventually the idea faded as we settled into our little 1940′s bungalow we’d inhabit for nearly 6 years, two of which were spent searching for something bigger. 

March 2017 Kyle finally relented and allowed me to contact a realtor. Our second child was 6 months old and it was becoming apparent (to me, not so much him) that our house was becoming too small. We started our search with a massive 4,000 square foot behemoth inhabited by a hoarder. I begged Kyle to let me offer on a house $30,000 over our max pricepoint while he was out of the country (it sold before I had a chance to submit a laughably low bid, saving me from some certain embarrassment). Another 4,000 square foot mess on the outskirts of town. A beautiful brick foursquare with the most amazing woodwork and leaded glass windows I’d ever seen that was simply too small. Finally in November we had an offer accepted on a large brick foursquare with beautiful woodwork, massive front porch and incredible enclosed back porch, and palatial finished attic and we listed our little bungalow. We were never sold on the location of the home, and because of this, listed our house for much more than it was worth. We weren’t willing to pay a dollar more for the home than we absolutely had to, and knowing we didn’t HAVE to move, we had that at our advantage. 

While we waited for our house to sell, I always had “Gib’s House” in the back of my mind. I’d never so much as set foot inside it, but being an old house nerd, I can tell the layout of an old house just by studying the outside. As there was a family connection I always thought it was within the realm of possibility, but maybe it was immaculate inside and they’d need a ton of money for it. After all, I’d always heard stories about how meticulous Gib was. 

Finally one day my aunt gave me Gib’s daughter’s phone number, telling me she’d mentioned to her Gib needed to downsize. Mustering all the courage I could I drove to the Wal Mart parking lot in January to get away from screaming background children, and left her a voicemail. She called me back that afternoon. 

She was shocked anyone would be interested in a big, old house that hadn’t been updated since the 60′s. “The kitchen is all avocado green,” she told me. “The entire house has wool carpeting, including the kitchen and the bathroom. But it’s an amazing home. The way the morning light comes in the round window in the staircase is something to behold,” she said. “It’s five bedrooms, a bath and a half. No shower.” 

“But what is that glassed-in area on the second floor above the screened porch? It kills me,” I asked, hoping she’d tell me it was the sleeping porch I’d pined for since the summer nights I spent on a friends’ similar porch. 

“Oh, that. It’s a porch. It’s got a real skinny, funny door through a hall closet. It hasn’t been really used or opened up in years.” 

I was taken. We wanted a four bedroom house plus office, or a five bedroom house. I knew that unless all of the original character had been removed from the house I’d be in love with it. But, I admitted, we were contractually obligated to another house unless ours never sells and the contingency expires. Her dad knew it was time to move out; he and his elderly wife couldn’t keep the house the way they’d always wanted anymore, and needed to downsize. Cherie said she’d try to find out what his plan was and keep me updated, and I’d do the same. 

And that’s when I really started hoping our contract would fall through.

Being listed far too high, our house sat until March, a year after our search began, when our realtor called and said our brick foursquare had received a competing offer that, unless we were able to remove our sale contingency, the sellers would like to accept. And that was that. We let it go. 

In the time since I’d spoken with Cherie about Gib’s house, Gib had moved into a Veteran’s Retirement Home and his health had taken a turn for the worse. Cherie and Gib’s wife, Mary, didn’t speak, so Cherie had no more say in what would happen to the house, and wasn’t privy to Gib’s will, so had no idea how anything would play out should the worst happen to Gib. So that was that. I let that one go, too. 

Our home continued to sit on the market while we combed real estate listings until the listing expired and we mostly gave up in August. We decided to relax a bit, but the real estate combing continued. 

Gib passed away June 1st, and Cherie told me the home was to ultimately be sold, but she wasn’t in charge of the sale. So the final nail in the coffin was hammered in. I tried my best to move on, but still I thought about Gib’s house, knowing his 92 year old widow was still living there, knowing her laundry was in the basement and her bedroom upstairs, and just thinking if only I could wait it out, she’s got to downsize eventually. 

The real estate listings were grim and new things were slow to be added. I decided I really wasn’t scared of anything so, why not? I had postcards printed with a statement on the back about our long, fruitless home search and our love of old Princeton homes and Princeton at large, and I made lists of addresses of homes I liked and planned to drop them in mailboxes. For some reason, while I wasn’t nervous to give them to anyone else, I was terrified of the thought of putting one in the mailbox of “Mary’s house.” But it was still my first address on my list. 

I guess I just sat on them for a while because I only ended up giving out two of them, and life continued on, I was busy with the kids and quilting projects, and time marched on. But still I’d needle my mom to get information out of my cousin. “Mary should give me her house,” I’d remind her. “You should ask Maura what Mary’s plan is.” We’d go to her restaurant for lunch, and finally one day I asked her. “That’s a great house,” she told me. “You could move into that house and not do a thing.” (considering how I’ve spent the last week this will end up being the most hilarious statement of the entire journey). But nothing else came of it. 

Until finally, in November 2018, I had my mom draft a long text to send to my cousin, telling her how much trouble we were having finding a house that would fit our needs and if her grandma was considering downsizing we’d love to consider it. “It would be a great house for Catherine and Kyle,” she responded. “I’ll mention it to my grandma. She does need something smaller.” 

I mostly forgot about the text as time continued on, but the day after Thanksgiving as we were pulling up outside another iconic home (the legendary home from A Christmas Story in Cleveland, Ohio, a place I’d wanted to visit for years), I received a text from my cousin: “Hi. I talked to my grandma last night and let her know you were interested in her house. She was happy about that. If I were you I would go to my mom’s store some afternoon and talk to her in person. She goes there every day but Monday.”

The rest, as they say, is history. I knew it was my house the moment we stepped into the little vestibule inside the foyer. And here we are, day 4 of owning “Lucy,” the name my daughter gave the house when we realized we could no longer call it “Mary’s house.” 

[myhauntedsalem]

23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends

1. He doesn’t have a face

“My son from the age of three always tells me about the ‘creeper man’ who lives in my mom and dad’s bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said ‘Oh, he doesn’t have a face.’”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

“A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.”

3. Little girl ghost

“When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville Horror (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when the dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’”

4. Bad rabbit

“My cousin, when she was 5, and I was 17, had a stuffed rabbit that she talked to and carried everywhere. One day she was asleep on the couch while I was watching her, and she woke up and started yelling at her rabbit for no reason. One minute she was knocked out, the next, she’s awake, glaring at her rabbit, yelling, ‘No! You can’t do that! That’s bad! Don’t do it!’ I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. I finally just took the rabbit up to her room, and when I came back down she was asleep on the couch again. Fuck whatever that rabbit was planning on doing.”

5. Roger won’t be around anymore…

“My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and nine kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

6. A boy in the tree

“My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says, ‘What’s that boy doing up in that tree?’ There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.”

7. The bunny man

“When I was 16, I babysat twins who were in the third grade at the time. They always spoke of a man in an Easter Bunny costume, and they were terrified of him. One day I was babysitting, and one twin was in the shower. His brother and I were sitting downstairs watching television when all of the sudden, he said, ‘You need to go check on Matt.’ Seconds later, Matt yelled, ‘He’s in here!!! He’s in here!!!’ I ran upstairs, and I had to check every room before he would calm down. I’m not sure which part of the experience freaked me out the most.”

8. Poor Shaggy

When my mom was younger she had an imaginary friend named Shaggy. When she was finished with Shaggy, she ‘chopped him up and put him in the fridge.’”

9. “Smash Daddy’s head”

“When my brother was just learning how to talk he grabbed one of those small toy hammers and crawled onto the sofa where my dad was sleeping. He then leant in close and whispered one of his first sentences… ‘Smash daddy’s head’ right into his ear.”

10. Dark angels

When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!’”

11. “That’s the man”

“My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.”

12. Message from beyond

“My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say, ‘What? OK I’ll tell her.’ She then got up, came into our bedroom, and told my wife, ‘Mary says you’re doing a good job.’ Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close to that passed away.”

13. I called him Spooky Guy

“As a kid, I said that my imaginary friend was a ghost. I called him Spooky Guy and said he died in the garage of the house on the hill behind ours. I even came up with his death. He was a 16 year old who got in a car crash and walked to that house to ask to use their phone (died in the 70’s). The person lived there grabbed him and sexually abused him there and killed him. He was my imaginary friend as far back as I can remember. This scared my mom so much that she tried to look up records to see if that happened and got me a therapist.”

14. Icy wants me to tell you it will be tonight

“In high school one of my best friends had a little sister who was five or six years old. One day we stopped by his place, completely high, because he needed to get his Magic cards. While waiting for him to come downstairs his sister came up to me and said, ‘Icy told me to ask you if you know when you’re going to die.’”

I laughed nervously: morbid question, right? But I knew all about Icy, her imaginary friend. I even helped her draw a picture of him once. So I played along and said, ‘No, of course not! No one knows that. Hopefully when I’m very old.’

The girl shook her head sadly and said, ‘No, Icy wants me to tell you it’ll be tonight.’ And with that, she just walked away.”

15. It is the punishment

“I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old boy. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘Leave us. It is the punishment.’”

16. Keep kicking

“My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in New Hampshire when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.”

17. Nope

“When my boy was 4, his imaginary friend would sit in the corner of the room when you switched off the lights and light the room with red glowing eyes.”

18. They were both dead

“Kid I used to babysit had imaginary friends. They were dead. One had no head. One was an old lady. They were both bloody. The one with no head had insides sticking out of his neck.

I didn’t ask him questions about them because fuck that.”

19. Tracy

“When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, ‘Why don’t I find out more about this friend?’ So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, ‘She’s a she and she’s dead.’ And I said, ‘Does she have a job?’ And she said, ‘She does what my daddy does!’ Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. So then I said, ‘Where is your imaginary friend a police woman at?’ And she said, ‘Right next I to where my daddy is a policeman.’ But then she said, ‘I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched it when I was inside.’

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my niece’s ‘daddy.’ My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.”

20. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

“When my kid was 4, we were watching a documentary on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the TV and said, ‘That’s wrong. The boilers were on the other side. And I was right here.’ And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. ‘That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.’”

21. Emily

“When my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and I could hear my sister just screaming and screaming.”

“I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sisters little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.”

22. She floated above his bed at night

“When my younger brother was around 4, he had an imaginary friend named Victoria Meadowbrooke. He told us that she was the prettiest girl ever and she floated above his bed a night.”

23. “The Evil is coming”

“When my older daughter was two or three, she used to have a couple of imaginary friends, Dodo and DeeDee. They were typical imaginary friends. She would talk to them and play with them, and tell me about their lives.

Then one day, when she was about three, she was talking on her play phone when I walked into the room. She hung up her phone and said to me (with a completely flat voice and deadpan expression): ‘The Evil is coming.’”

[myhauntedsalem]

23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends

1. He doesn’t have a face

“My son from the age of three always tells me about the ‘creeper man’ who lives in my mom and dad’s bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said ‘Oh, he doesn’t have a face.’”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

“A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.”

3. Little girl ghost

“When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville Horror (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when the dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’”

4. Bad rabbit

“My cousin, when she was 5, and I was 17, had a stuffed rabbit that she talked to and carried everywhere. One day she was asleep on the couch while I was watching her, and she woke up and started yelling at her rabbit for no reason. One minute she was knocked out, the next, she’s awake, glaring at her rabbit, yelling, ‘No! You can’t do that! That’s bad! Don’t do it!’ I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. I finally just took the rabbit up to her room, and when I came back down she was asleep on the couch again. Fuck whatever that rabbit was planning on doing.”

5. Roger won’t be around anymore…

“My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and nine kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

6. A boy in the tree

“My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says, ‘What’s that boy doing up in that tree?’ There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.”

7. The bunny man

“When I was 16, I babysat twins who were in the third grade at the time. They always spoke of a man in an Easter Bunny costume, and they were terrified of him. One day I was babysitting, and one twin was in the shower. His brother and I were sitting downstairs watching television when all of the sudden, he said, ‘You need to go check on Matt.’ Seconds later, Matt yelled, ‘He’s in here!!! He’s in here!!!’ I ran upstairs, and I had to check every room before he would calm down. I’m not sure which part of the experience freaked me out the most.”

8. Poor Shaggy

When my mom was younger she had an imaginary friend named Shaggy. When she was finished with Shaggy, she ‘chopped him up and put him in the fridge.’”

9. “Smash Daddy’s head”

“When my brother was just learning how to talk he grabbed one of those small toy hammers and crawled onto the sofa where my dad was sleeping. He then leant in close and whispered one of his first sentences… ‘Smash daddy’s head’ right into his ear.”

10. Dark angels

When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!’”

11. “That’s the man”

“My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.”

12. Message from beyond

“My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say, ‘What? OK I’ll tell her.’ She then got up, came into our bedroom, and told my wife, ‘Mary says you’re doing a good job.’ Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close to that passed away.”

13. I called him Spooky Guy

“As a kid, I said that my imaginary friend was a ghost. I called him Spooky Guy and said he died in the garage of the house on the hill behind ours. I even came up with his death. He was a 16 year old who got in a car crash and walked to that house to ask to use their phone (died in the 70’s). The person lived there grabbed him and sexually abused him there and killed him. He was my imaginary friend as far back as I can remember. This scared my mom so much that she tried to look up records to see if that happened and got me a therapist.”

14. Icy wants me to tell you it will be tonight

“In high school one of my best friends had a little sister who was five or six years old. One day we stopped by his place, completely high, because he needed to get his Magic cards. While waiting for him to come downstairs his sister came up to me and said, ‘Icy told me to ask you if you know when you’re going to die.’”

I laughed nervously: morbid question, right? But I knew all about Icy, her imaginary friend. I even helped her draw a picture of him once. So I played along and said, ‘No, of course not! No one knows that. Hopefully when I’m very old.’

The girl shook her head sadly and said, ‘No, Icy wants me to tell you it’ll be tonight.’ And with that, she just walked away.”

15. It is the punishment

“I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old boy. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘Leave us. It is the punishment.’”

16. Keep kicking

“My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in New Hampshire when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.”

17. Nope

“When my boy was 4, his imaginary friend would sit in the corner of the room when you switched off the lights and light the room with red glowing eyes.”

18. They were both dead

“Kid I used to babysit had imaginary friends. They were dead. One had no head. One was an old lady. They were both bloody. The one with no head had insides sticking out of his neck.

I didn’t ask him questions about them because fuck that.”

19. Tracy

“When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, ‘Why don’t I find out more about this friend?’ So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, ‘She’s a she and she’s dead.’ And I said, ‘Does she have a job?’ And she said, ‘She does what my daddy does!’ Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. So then I said, ‘Where is your imaginary friend a police woman at?’ And she said, ‘Right next I to where my daddy is a policeman.’ But then she said, ‘I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched it when I was inside.’

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my niece’s ‘daddy.’ My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.”

20. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

“When my kid was 4, we were watching a documentary on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the TV and said, ‘That’s wrong. The boilers were on the other side. And I was right here.’ And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. ‘That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.’”

21. Emily

“When my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and I could hear my sister just screaming and screaming.”

“I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sisters little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.”

22. She floated above his bed at night

“When my younger brother was around 4, he had an imaginary friend named Victoria Meadowbrooke. He told us that she was the prettiest girl ever and she floated above his bed a night.”

23. “The Evil is coming”

“When my older daughter was two or three, she used to have a couple of imaginary friends, Dodo and DeeDee. They were typical imaginary friends. She would talk to them and play with them, and tell me about their lives.

Then one day, when she was about three, she was talking on her play phone when I walked into the room. She hung up her phone and said to me (with a completely flat voice and deadpan expression): ‘The Evil is coming.’”