#my tags(purely for my own use) :

[lorebird]

In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.

[lovelyrotter]

ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means

[valoale]

Welcome home, baby boy 🥹🫶🏻

Today I became a dad of two again and I’m filled with so much joy I can’t believe this became a reality 😭

Fantti is a 4,5 year old German shepherd who was matched to me by my dear friend. Fantti needed a home and I have both that and all the love in the world to give him ❤️

The best part is that both me and Aino have known Fantti for some time now, so bringing him home was super easy; it was like we come home together every day, so familiar and mundane. He’s such a good and well behaved boy I’m so proud of him and I’m also very proud of Aino for being such a good sport and accepting him to her home right away. 🥹

I can’t wait for all the adventures we’ll share together— you came into my life just the right time and this feels like it was meant to be. Life has been extremely rough and depressing for a long time, but now I feel like we three are gonna be alright ❤️

[bubba-draws]

draw suggest: hollow and grimm exchanging gifts~

This was supposed to be one (1) drawing but I may have gotten a little insane

[batsplat]

OOH do you have any old motogp forum recs?? I would love to see what fans were saying in like the early 2000s, but I have no idea where to look

lemme check my bookmarks... r1-forum I've gone through a fair bit, threads dating back to early 2004. motogpforum goes back to early 2005. motorsportsforum picks up late 2006-ish, that one I've gone through in its entirety for the early alien era. motorradonline24 is admittedly in german but has the BIG selling point that it goes all the way back to 2001. apriliaforum also goes pretty far back but it takes a little longer for discussion of actual racing to get going. there's definitely more I've checked out - I might make a proper list at some point, but just to start you off

the thing about these forums is that it's undoubtedly interesting and useful to get some context of fan opinions (good mix of actual nuance/worthwhile discussion and just slagging off a bunch of riders)... but if anything they're even more precious as a record of actual *news* that has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet. there's a lot of drama and controversies and anecdotes that only exist on these forums

which... tbh there's been quite a few that I haven't included in my posts just because I'm not entirely sure they quite pass the burden of proof requirements. but man, so many of them are so interesting. it's a tricky balance. just as an example - one particularly nasty thing casey allegedly said about jorge that IF TRUE does feel like it would add something to my understanding of casey. but the article only exists on forum pages... still, it made it to three different forums I can find and is written in the usual tone of the author, so I feel fairly confident the original article existed. but then again, the article itself is just an anecdotal conversation relayed by one bloke. on the other hand, this is a reputable enough commentator you wouldn't expect to COMPLETELY make it up - and funnily enough I have even found a photo of him talking to casey that specific weekend. on the other other hand, it's a colourful anecdote that might have been exaggerated for effect. then again, I can kinda see casey saying it - not least because casey confirmed in his autobiography years later that he was pissed off at jorge that specific weekend. but it does feel like the sort of thing that should have caused a controversy... like if jorge saw what casey allegedly said you'd expect there to be nuclear winter, and there's no further trace of it. hm

so what do you do with that kind of thing, share it or not? the further you go back with this stuff the worse it gets, where I keep finding - plus am being sent - increasingly wild quotes from early noughties motogp. at least most of those are from news sites, some of them of dubious quality, but generally you'd really like to find at least one other source backing up the quotes. which often you won't get!! so yeah, it's all interesting context and gossip, but as ever I'd advise being wary of the specific stories. even the funny ones. especially the funny one

anyway, all that being said. this ask was sent in relation to a post about laguna 2008, so I'm going to take this excuse to actually share some discussion of laguna 2008

so. taking u through the fan chat of the weekend from one specific forum with select commentary... here's the thread starter

reminder that dani was injured at the sachsenring and would eventually opt against racing (effectively ending his title bid, but michelin was useless anyway that weekend)

relatively good reason to believe in english-speaker (and in particular american) overperformance at the track. obviously hayden won there the first two years, edwards even beat valentino to second in 2005 which has got to be the only time that year he finished ahead of vale. often more familiar with the track, or it just suits their riding style better. and ofc vermeulen did bag a distant third. still. valentino in the trenches if people thing edwards will beat him icl

have to say. the idea of the 125/250 riders going down that corkscrew fills me with a visceral sense of horror

'marco' btw as in marco melandri, in the middle of his ducati season from hell

dovi super popular in 2008 fyi, darling of the posters. everyone was obsessed with his rookie season

plenty of solid foreshadowing happening here you have to say

it is very motogp rider behaviour, and also very valentino behaviour, to look at the corkscrew, go 'hm i don't think this is even safe to WALK down', and then fucking hurl yourself at the other guy into that very same corner as you're both travelling at horrifying speeds on a motorcycle. going tentatively through that bit of the track during practise and then in the race he's making his bike go bounce bounce like a trampoline

wow!

*stares at camera*

still nasty work to say this, he repeated it in several interviews I think

okay, no forum posts during the race itself so now we skip to the post-race discussion

which is what the tone from a lot of posters was like

narrator: casey had not calmed down

(if you watch the podium ceremony and see some of the photos without context, you WOULD think they're having a laff. it's just that they're having a laff while casey is telling valentino that he's lost respect for him and valentino is delighted)

two australians on the podium btw

jorge highside cameo

a lot of people were whinging about a lot of 800cc races being boring because a lot of them were. you can copy and paste much of what people are saying about racing these days, if you want to get an idea of the tone

casey fan writes in

again. cannot be stressed enough how casey very much had not calmed down. but that's the fun thing about that rivalry, like they will ALWAYS have a tonal mismatch between their face-to-face interactions and whatever out of pocket things are being said in the press. casey also really big on the pissed off smile which helps

'not even sure that the riders even touched at any point' is. pushing it

yeah the no handshake thing really didn't get a positive response (casey did ofc eventually shake valentino's hand on the podium)

is it really a clean battle if you think someone will fall off

don't want to say that it's a lost cause because casey DID get smarter about this stuff, but ducati certainly aren't doing shit

so much of laguna and its legacy is about both of them threatening each other lol, please allow him

again, podium chat categorically not a friendly conversation. otherwise qualified casey defence

likewise

thought this was interesting in terms of discussion of actual rules - valentino said a few years ago the move wouldn't be allowed anymore and he thinks that's a good thing

“It needs rules,” he said. .”Because the situation with the overtaking manoeuvers and everything is much more extreme now than it was in Laguna Seca in 2008. The routes have changed a lot, now there is no more grass next to the slope, but the green stripe.  “That was done for safety. Because if you catch the grass at that speed, you'll fly away. The asphalt, on the other hand, is less dangerous. In my opinion, however, you have to make a rule and say that you shouldn't touch the green at all - see it as if there were still grass there. “At the level we have reached today, which is extreme in many respects, everyone goes over the curbs and is all green if you don't have a clear rule. I think that's the right thing to do.”

but yeah tbh... I know casey disagrees but I feel like the move WAS probably fine by standards of back then

some more rules chat

and more

"will be hearing big footsteps every time he is in front"

and here we are then. not much that's groundbreaking, but I do find it interesting!! this is a pretty pro-casey audience... most of these forums were generally pretty positive about him. english language speakers were way more hostile towards dani and later jorge for various reasons - you'll also find at least some distaste for valentino in these spaces alongside the usual adulation. so that's the yardstick... this is probably close to as casey-friendly as discussion of the race got among the wider fanbase. it was always going to be a tough sell to air his grievances about this race until a few years had passed. the general reaction was that the racing had been hard but fine, an extremely welcome contrast to the general quality of racing at the time. and almost nobody thought casey should have reacted as he did in parc fermé. interesting contrast with jerez 2005 actually (though admittedly sete not particularly popular in most forums) - sete was low key seen as having a more legitimate grievance than casey. anyway, obviously this blog's stance is that sportsmanship is overrated, but that's how you end up getting the poor bloke apologising in brno

[angelthingy]

the thing is i think that like. afab and amab as terms arent like. a bad thing?? like if you're talking about urself and ur assigned gender happens to be relevant and is preferrable to another descriptor (eg if ur dysphoric abt ur body to some it may be easier to say ur agab rather than describing ur features) or describing a situation where thats relevant then like. sure! its just like any other word u just use it cus it makes sense- (note this only applies if YOU'RE using the term when you're talking about YOURSELF)

the problem is that when other people use or ask for someone's agab there's some kind of weird implication that it somehow changes how you behave, and that based on that you can put people into a new binary which shouldnt exist and negatively effects all trans people

people ask if you're amab expecting that to mean you're inherently more patriarchal, dangerous, "masculine" - and if you're afab expecting that to mean you're inherently more quiet, sweet, "feminine" - and BOTH of these fucking suck!!

[starswirly]

[ * Baby tree moments!! Plus the skeleton they refuse to leave alone ]

(Passive!Nightmare & Dreamtale -> Jokublog)

[blossoms-phan]

hey so like. this is crazy

[looks-at-you]

Heyyyyyyyy

Pinned post woo yay yippee yahoo

Name: you can call me Cy

Pronouns of the day: he/him

The tags I use for my stuff:

#the cy rambles : tag for my ramblings (very frequently used)

#the art stuffs ! : tag for the few times I post art here (might start doing that again who knows) and also ideas!

#friendos : tag for mutual shenanigans

#cys asks : ask tag

#fiancees of the autumn wind : vauge posts about some ocs me and a irl came up with :D

#cys edits : exactly what it says, i downloaded capcut and have not stopped making gtws edits (its a bit of a problem)

#cys playlists : playlists made by mee 🕺💃🕺💃🕺

Playlist requests woo yay : people seem to like my taste in music so ive started taling playlist requests!! just send in an ask with a character/ship of your choosing (preferably from something listed below 👇) with maybe a song or two to set the vibe and ill make you a playlist! (i will refuse and delete asks im uncomfortable with)

Hyperfixations/interests that might show up here sometimes: intoh, ata, welcome home, acnh, sometimes gacha life shows up here, mystreet also, tma/tmagp, project sekai (there's more I think but I forgor)

Current (main) hyperfixation(s): life series, lifesteal smp, parkour civilization and my own ocs

Uhh yeah! Basic dni, just don't be an asshole yknow?

Asks are open! Be silly if you feel it 👁👁

oh yeah some of my my colection of blinkies an d stamps and userboxes under the cut woo yay

grrr tumblr allow more than 30 images per post,,,,,,,, tumblr,,,,,,,,, tumblr stop banning trans women and increase the number of images per post ,,,,,,,,

[whoblewboobear]

It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)

But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.

And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.

Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay

[monadocyclone]

I genuinely wish that the people who use the dead dove tag WITHOUT actually tagging properly would realise that it's like saying "trigger warning" and then refusing to elaborate.

[splatterpunk-rock]

quick sketch of my WoL! turns out dark knight is the best job in the entire game and maybe every single other game as well

[the-kipsabian]

[actias-android]

I announced this on Mythcord as well, but I might as well put it here too. I'm going to be entirely leaving the server soon after 6 years of running it. Some of the text will be familiar to those on the server but it's not a direct copy-paste, either, and I'm definitely going to be a lot more opinionated on here. I pulled my punches on the in-server announcement but this is my personal blog.

When I started Mythcord, I was looking for something. I couldn't tell you what, exactly, just that I felt like there was some Great Big Secret, and maybe nobody had all the pieces, but maybe some people had some of the pieces, and if I brought them together in an environment specifically designed for discussion, we'd assemble enough of the pieces that I would find The Thing I Was Looking For. And hey, everyone else might find their thing too.

Which, you know, decent motivation! Not a bad plan. The problem was that the thing that I ended up discovering was absolutely contrary to what I expected, and indeed contrary to the kind of place it was.

Really I found out two things: one, I'm not otherkin. I'm nonhuman, yes, but I am not the kind of nonhuman who's described by the word otherkin. I don't see my Self as something that can be split into spiritual or psychological, voluntary or involuntary, dysphoric or non-dysphoric, serious or frivolous, meaningful or random, intrinsic or extrinsic, chosen or thrust upon me—none of it. It doesn't even feel like it applies. This is like asking what flavor the moon would be if tomorrow was Thursday. It's not something I even know how to begin to address. None of the cultural parameters that are indicated by the label otherkin make sense to me in the context of my own identity. I can see where they have meaning to others. I can't see where I would begin to apply them to myself. I am literally just whatever I am right now, because I am happiest being this, and if that changes, I'm cool with it. I'll be something else and live my best life being that.

I also picked up a second identity as a reploid and promptly fumbled my first fae identity so hard it's lost in the carpet somewhere. Possibly rolled under the couch. It exists, but fuck if I can find it. A fictional type of android has no business or indeed interest in heading a community for mythical creatures with a completely different understanding of their nonhumanity. I can't keep doing it. I actually just get upset looking at the server anymore because it has no relation to me, and that's a disservice to the community that exists there.

The second thing I discovered was that the general otherkin subcultural community I've encountered is deeply fucked up. I've only really interacted in any meaningful way via Discord (and only a few servers at that) and Tumblr, and I've stayed pretty insular. I mostly post my little essays and thoughts and I don't usually have much to say directly to anybody. And yet, even with this absolute minimum of interaction, I've been on the business end of pointless drama, poorly-attempted character assassination, people flagrantly just making up shit about me to justify treating me like some horrible villain, aggressive gatekeeping, inexplicable grudges, gossip-mongering, finding out that I live rent-free in multiple people's heads as a bogeyman both too stupid to function and somehow too threatening to go unwatched, people trying to pit the Mythcord mod team against each other evidently not realizing we're IRL friends, and that one time some ineffectual douchecanoe said he was going to kill me then completely forgot what his plan to do so was. Some of this was just by vengeful random morons, but some of it was by so-called community leaders. All of it was by people in their late 20s and older. You know, adults, who should know better.

In what universe is any of that behavior okay? And yet, if I complained about it to anybody, I got told that I probably deserved it, that they'd totally seen worse drama so I should just chill, and people absolutely and repeatedly leapt at the chance to report any little fucking thing I said back to the people perpetuating it so they could wave it around as ammunition over me because look, this guy dared to talk shit about me, he's as bad as I said! (The shit amounted to, "This is a crappy way to treat someone and I'm frustrated about it." Oh, no. I am just unforgivable, obviously.)

Like, guys, this is a goddamn problem and it is huge. This is some peaked-in-high-school, adult-mean-girls, pants-on-head-stupid bullshit. It's not normal behavior, but it is deeply normalized behavior, and you can't even call it out because it's everywhere from the top down and that's how you get completely ostracized by very loud people with follower counts in the thousands and eyes and ears everywhere. I flatly refuse to share a word or even a community with it. Even if I could justify using the otherkin label—and I probably could, if I really wanted to!—I wouldn't, because then I have to be under the tent with all that, and...no. I can't stomach it. My blood pressure and stomach issues are already medicated and do not need the extra stress. I am so over it. There is more beef than a goddamn slaughterhouse in the otherkin community and I will not have anything to do with it aside from having some friends who still use the label for themselves.

That's probably rent-lowering shots I'm firing and I know it. Most people, if they said anything at all, would have thrown this whole thing under a read more at minimum but I'm too tired of it to shut up any longer and if that loses a few followers, okay, cool. I don't want to hang around people who aren't clear-eyed enough to see the issues going on. If you stick the word 'otherkin' on a thing and people who behave that way show up and expect everyone to tolerate them, that's not okay and nobody should tolerate it. And yet. That's just how a lot of otherkin carry on. I've been upset about it for years and it just. Keeps. Happening. I am sufficiently pissed at this point that you could call me antikin and I'd agree with you purely on the rotten goddamn social issues going on.

All that being said, I am leaving Mythcord in the next several days once some backend stuff gets wrapped up, but I am still here like black mold in the walls whether anybody likes it or not, and I'm still going to be right on this blog with my little essays and thoughts. I would like to think that this post might change some things, but I don't expect it, because I don't have much reach and I'm just one guy getting mad on the internet. It's whatever. I got it off my chest and I'm moving on from the whole thing. Back to your regularly unscheduled little essays and thoughts and whatever the hell else.

(And probably changing my blog name soon because I really want something that reflects my current identity better than the current one does.)

[embraceyourdestiny]

Bro. I’m such a boy. Strong gender realizations and feelings right now I’m a fucking guy I cut my hair and I’m like holy shit that’s ME gender affirmation on 9000 RN

[00queasy00]

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