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in3rci4 · 7 months ago

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Can I get an Angst with all the boys, having a crush on gn reader who is new in town and heterochromia? ( If you can of course💕)

It's the first time I do a request fr 😭

It's ok , it's normal to be nervous when requesting if you're new or not used to it , hopefully I'll do my best with this one , enjoy it anon , thank you for sending your request 💕 !

°°°IT'S THE EYES . IT WAS ALL IN THEIR EYES °°°

Author's note : I been slow with publishing stuff because personal life is becoming more a survival than living , so sorry if it takes some requests too long to get done , but I'm slowly , yet surely , getting the ones I have done one step at the time .

Characters included in the following headcanons : Robin Arellano , Griffin Stagg , Vance Hopper , Finney Blake , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter

WARNINGS ! : CHARACTER X READER CONTENT , IGNORANCE / DISBELIEF ABOUT THE SYNDROME , BULLYING , THIS MIGHT BE SHORTER THAN EXPECTED , SOME MIGHT BE SHORTER THAN OTHERS , THERE'S PROBABLY SPELLING MISTAKES , GENDER NEUTRAL READER , CRINGE ¿? PROBABLY CRINGE , 2 SIDES , ONE WITH FLUFF , ONE WITH ANGST ( AND IT MIGHT NOT BE SO X READER TYPE OR BE A SENSITIVE TOPIC TO READ , ALSO THE CHARACTERS ARE MEAN ON THE ANGST ) TOXICITY ¿? DISCRIMINATION , MANIPULATION ¿? , ETC

ROBIN ARELLANO

≈ This guy is in love with your eyes , they're so unique , so badass , so special of yours , you're like a cool character of a movie or like a kickass villain

≈ Robin is a boy who loves everything that it's out of the normality , the more different , the more harder to forget , the better .

≈ If you felt insecure for your eye colors before then you'll be no more with him by your side ! He will compliment you without shame in front of others and he won't stop until you're all flustered and blushing

≈ But all jokes aside , once he get to know you and learned more about you , Robin will always remember you to not feel bad about your looks , it's not like you can control it , and it's nothing bad that you need to hide either

≈ if you want to buy contact lenses to match both eyes he won't stop you , but he'll be sad for not being able to see the real look in your eyes anymore

≈ He sometimes jokes about being jealous of your eyes , you get to have 2 colors and he only got 1 , that's not fair ! He wants to look just as cool as you

≈ You will always have his protection and support , no one will make fun of you , no one , and the one who dares to will feel a physical payment for playing stupid games in their faces

≈ Don't ever feel bad about yourself , because you'll have an annoying and romantic Robin making sure to bust your ego over the sky and taking photos whenever he can

≈ But that isn't so bad , isn't ?

GRIFFIN STAGG

° He's so sorry for being the ones who believed in the rumours it was contagious in the past , for being ignorant and avoiding you like the rest of the students

° Growing up he realized it was something stupid to think on , if it was contagious , then why nobody has changed eye colors yet ?

° Maybe you don't , but Griffin does remember well the day you two started to be friends

° The day you decided not to do anything in P.E class because you felt physically bad , and he , since nobody wanted him on their team , didn't lose anything by also not doing exercise either . You sat next to him , and started a casual conversation that turned out to be a funny exchange

° Casual conversations started to be more interested on each other's likes , conversations in each other's likes lead to gossip sessions , gossip became deep talks about the future and other corny shit that Griffin didn't thought he'll talk with someone ever

° He compares your eyes a lot with things , now that he learned to appreciate them , he can't stop remember you everytime a combination of color is the same as the look in your eyes

° You can say that your charm is contagious , and he's more than happy to be infected by love for you

VANCE HOPPER

♠ While others kids thought you were weird or cool , Vance thought you were a pretender

♠ Can you blame him though ? He hasn't seen somebody like you in his entire life , it's impossible for someone to have their eyes like that ! You must be using contact lenses or some shit !

♠ The evening he realized you weren't faking , he melted like ice cream in summer right there in front of you ( But you didn't noticed it )

♠ He stormed furious out of the mall when in a bad day he couldn't even get to the half of his high score , and accidently bumped into you . He looked into your eyes mad as hell , not expecting at all to see your pupils getting bigger , frozen about how fucked up it was to know that you truly had such a unique pair of eyes

♠ After an awkward time he slowly started to greet you " indifferently " , drawing you on his special notebook when the teachers didn't bothered him , and sometimes inviting you to watch him play Pin Ball when he felt cocky enough

♠ Hope you don't mind intense staring , because Vance is all about looking straight into your soul , he can't help it , or well , maybe he can because he can be a little of a tsundere

♠ To be honest he'll stare at your eyes all day if he could , but he's too of a dork to admit it , or decide if he likes it when you look at him or not due how flustered you make him feel

♠ And yeah , he will start a fight for you if someone dares to mock you , it's obvious , but it's a nice thing to think about

FINNEY BLAKE

∞ Finney is more curious than avoidant , he feels guilty for looking at you so much , you may had felt the hairy eyeball before and don't like it but , you're so .... Interesting ? Beautiful ? It's hard to describe

∞ Even for A or B you'll meet and trust my word , he's going to be respectful all the time he's with you . Only if you gave him permission to , he'll ask you more about your condition and how it exactly effects you , but don't worry , once he get all his doubts solved , he will move on and ask you about yourself

∞ He understands it yet he does not understand how someone could hate you by the color of your eyes , he doesn't even get racism and now we have people insult you by the color of your eyes ? By something you didn't choose to have ? Like what ?

∞ You're special ( and attractive he may add ) from the rest and that's gonna get more staring than someone else will have , sure , but he'll be angrily confused if someone bothered you in front of him , now we're bullying people for their genetics ? Come on man

∞ Finney would try to get you out of a uncomfortable situation , but if it persists , he might be verbally violent or push the person to tell them to back off and leave you alone

∞ Bonus : Gwen does the same with you , although she loves to tease Finney in your presence , she likes you though , she just does the " sibling annoying the other " things

∞ He has a special love letter that he never gave you were he used astronomy elements to describe you and the look in your eyes , but he was to embarrassed or afraid of rejection that he kept it for himself

∞ You read it , but you never told Finney and kept the secret

BRUCE YAMADA

★ Ignorance isn't a sin some people say , but he pity you when he first saw you and until this day he can't believe how dumb he was

★ Bruce mind was like " Aw poor kid they probably have problems with their vision " as if he knew what exactly condition you have

★ He felt like a dumbass the day you tapped his shoulder to tell him from really far away that someone was trying to steal his bike after one of his games

★ To thank you for the gesture ( ahem , and clear his mind from the guilt ) he invited you to watch a movie in the cinema ( Jaws 2 being his option and yours Star Wars 4 , you both watched the two of the movies because in one you sneak in between the crowd anyway )

★ after that movie night everything went smooth , until the point that neither of you acknowledge the fact that you still didn't confessed yet and were already lovey dovey with each other

★ He has the privilege to say he has a partner that has no comparation , there's no other you , and Bruce loves that

★ Bruce loves you and those special eyes that life has gave you

BILLY SHOWALTER

🔺 Billy knew animals could had two different colors in their eyes , but he didn't thought it was possible for a human too

🔺 It was a shame how nobody saw that special shine in you , or maybe they did , but they decided it was too bright for them and tried to turn you down

🔺 But you never let them took advantage of you , and he was proud that you know your worth and didn't let the negativity get you

🔺 He didn't stuttered or thought twice when you asked him on a date , you were his crush , of course he's gonna say yes !

🔺 Billy is not only an admirer of you and your lovely eyes , but a flatterer as well

🔺 At first , the compliments were accidents that escaped from his mouth before he noticed he was talking in loud voice , but with time , he became more and more confident to tell you how gorgeous you look , how you make him feel , his plans for the future , etc

🔺 If Billy has the chance to , he's gonna spoil the hell out of you , just to give you a material proof how much he loves you , so he can see that singular look in your eyes everytime you're happy , forever .

ANGST PART

They would love you of course , they can't control their hearts to stop beating for you every time you look at them or smile , but love sometimes ain't all rainbows and butterflies .

Now why or why you were born like this ? Why you couldn't just be normal ? Everything could be so perfect , so beautiful , if you didn't look different and just be like other people .

In a bad dream type of reality , they will cross the limits so they don't feel " ashamed " to be seen with you

BRUCE AND BILLY would suggest the idea of buying contact lenses to match your eyes with only one color , Billy being the one telling you that it's necessary that you should had them , BRUCE being the one who bought them without asking you first as a " gift " , thinking it was the best idea , after all , the two of you would look much better as a couple in people's eyes if you did

ROBIN AND FINNEY would keep you as their secret , no one has to know their feelings for you or your relationship if you ever had one , FINNEY afraid of having another reason to be bullied because of you or having his father mock his selection of partner , ROBIN because he's ashamed of liking someone that doesn't look " right " and is "pointed by God "

VANCE AND GRIFFIN would backstabbed you when you started to get used to the idea of having someone by your side , VANCE would mock you and insult you in front of his friends or people if that made him look better , GRIFFIN would act as if he doesn't know you when you needed him the most , without a feeling completely guilty for it , perhaps not even a little if that makes you and people's starting at him when he's by your side go away

It's just the way things are . It's how your eyes are .

#the black phone #billy showalter #bruce yamada #finney blake #griffin stagg #robin arellano #tbp #tbp fandom #tbp headcanons #vance hopper #finney blake x reader #bruce yamada x reader #robin arellano x reader #billy showalter x reader #vance hopper x reader #the black phone x reader

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danikamariewrites · 2 months ago

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hii!! I was wondering if u could write a fic with azriel and one of the spies he trains, kind of like arobynn and aelin but not creepy lol. azriel always protects reader yet when rhys notices the special treatment in his court, he grows distant. angst ensues!! possibly smut whatever youre feeling!

My Sweet Spy

Azriel x reader

Notes: I hope you don’t mind that it’s in bullet form anon! I can’t believe I haven’t thought of something like this before, I did change it a little and made them fall in love (so not rlly a master and apprentice thing) I also don’t know the word count for this but know it’s a lot.

Warnings: angst, enemies to friends to lovers, fighting and violence, blood (apologies for any typos I sped through editing this)

Your father was one of Azriel’s senior spies. At 100 years old you were still acting like a petulant child, driving your father mad. Being at his wits end he dropped you off in Velaris for training with Azriel. It was more of a punishment than anything

He wanted the high lord and spymaster to set you straight

During one of your father’s more high profile missions he was attacked and didn’t survive

His death made you resent Azriel for a long time

You didn’t come to training on time or at all some days, you wouldn’t speak for almost a year, and you acted out so bad (during Nesta’s stint at the bars as well) you and Nesta were separated and it was time for an intervention

While Nesta stayed at the House of Wind you stayed in the Town House

You still refused to speak with anyone, especially Azriel, but you pulled yourself together

Though your father was a hard-ass you loved him dearly. He was the only person you had left in the world

Realizing you couldn’t blame Azriel or Rhysand for his death you started putting in the effort of training and being a better person. If anything you were really at training for Nesta. You missed your friend and she was the only person you would talk to. Meeting Gwyn and Emerie at training made you light up. You hadn’t had many friends as an adult so this group of girls excited you.

You still wouldn’t speak to Azriel. At least not in depth. You would acknowledge him, giving him nods and the occasional yes and no. Azriel tried so hard to get you to open up. He apologized about your father’s death and even went as far as buying you a box of your favorite pastries, but nothing.

Months after Nyx was born and Nesta, Gwyn, & Emerie won the Blood Rite you were starting to warm up to everyone. You even spoke to Azriel, “Thank you.” Azriel was taken aback by how quietly you approached him, even his shadows were unaware of you. “You’re welcome.” He didn’t ask for what. Azriel had a feeling that those two words encompassed everything from putting up with you to housing and training you.

You started going to family dinners and get togethers more. While you still didn’t talk much you were showing more emotion.

You were on time for training and showed improvement. To Azriel’s surprise you were more skilled than he thought. When he reported your progress to Rhys he seemed to take interest in your skills. “Maybe her father taught her more tricks of the trade than we thought.” Azriel didn’t like what Rhys’s tone was suggesting.

Azriel tensed, waiting for the order he knew was coming. Rhys gave his brother a look he knew all too well. Then the dreaded words left his mouth, “I want you to build her up. Y/n’s father was a valuable asset, we need that again.” Azriel clenched his jaw. Doing his best to bite his tongue to think about his words.

The Spymaster knew this was an order from his High Lord, not a suggestion from his brother.

So Azriel began your training. You became more observant, an extension of Azriel’s shadows. His own shadows took a liking to you. Becoming their second master on missions, they protected you.

The only missions Azriel would take you on would be a year after your training started. And they would never be solo trips. You would go with him or another partner on short missions. You were never far from Velaris and if need be Azriel could come get you if you were in danger.

There was definitely a few tense nights where you two spent the night at an inn. You two never knew how to approach each other, never wanting to say the wrong thing to one another.

Your first solo mission was given to you by Rhys. The High Lord went over his brother’s head assigning you this. “I believe you are ready to do this y/n. You have shown change and a tenacity I haven’t seen since Feyre under the mountain.”

The high praise from Rhys made your heart soar. The fact that your change was noticed made you feel like life was going well. That there was a place for you.

“Thank you, Rhysand.” You bow your head slightly. “Azriel has trained you well, and you’ve done excellent work over the last few months.” Rhys slides a file across his desk to you. Opening it he informs you that you’ll be traveling to just outside Vallahan. A male who was once on Kier’s council defected and has been on the run for years. He has crimes to answer for and you will be delivering the High Lord’s justice.

When you didn’t show up to training Azriel went looking for you. Not being able to find you in the House he went to Rhys. “I sent her on a mission to the continent. Caliban was sighted and I thought she was the perfect person to handle it.”

Steam was coming out of Azriel’s ears. “How. Dare. You,” he gritted out. Rhys’s eyes widen at the change in his brother’s mood. Azriel was borderline erratic. “How dare you make that call!” Rhys held up a hand. “Brother, please. Calm down and think—” “Don’t tell me to cam down! Y/n has never been to the Continent! And she is far from ready to do something like this on her own!”

“Az just listen—” Azriel closed his eyes, taking deep breathes. “Where?” Rhys gave him a questioning look. “Where on the Continent id you fucking send her?” His voice was growing angrier with each word. Once Rhys told him he punched his brother square in the face and stormed out of the house.

Your father didn’t make many enemies but he had one that eluded him for years, Caliban. Once considered royalty in the Hewn City he became a fugitive of the Night Court. Now you were his target. Somehow he found out that he is your mission in Vallahan. Instead of running again he decided to face you.

Caliban made it easy for you to track him. To the point where you knew it was a trap

“You look just like your father,” was the first thing he said to you. “I suppose you’ll be just as easy to kill.” All rational thoughts left your head. You saw red as you charged at him. Azriel had taught you to used controlled emotion through your fighting technique, helping you unlearn your irrational behavior.

Diving at Caliban he swiftly side stepped you, a smirk dancing on his lips. “Still a petulant child I see.” You let out growl from deep in your throat. Jumping to your feet you unsheathed the dagger from your thigh. Caliban drew his own from thin air, ready to fight.

You slashed hard, chasing every step he took with a more aggressive one of your own. If Caliban was going to kill you, you were going to make it hard for him.

If you were going to die tonight you were taking this vile murderer with you.

Letting your rage take hold your moves become erratic. Distracted. Caliban lands a blow to your gut forcing you to double over. He grabs a fist full of your hair, clutching it as tight as possible he punched your face over and over again. Once your face was drenched in blood Caliban dropped you to the ground.

You were breathing heavily through your mouth trying to regain your strength. To get back up and fight again.

Caliban circles you, sneering down at you. “Poor little spy. Going to die all alone just like her father.” He lets out a deep laugh. A burst of anger rushed through you. Holding on tight to your dagger you quickly sit up and slash at Caliban’s inner thigh.

He howls in pain and drops to the ground next to you. “You bitch!” He spits at you. You laugh, collapsing on your back.

As the edges of your vision blur all you can think about is your friends. Specifically Azriel. He has been a constant, steady presence over the last few years.

All you could think about was how ungrateful you’d been to him. All the attitude you gave him that you never apologized for. All the things you didn’t let go of and had blamed him for, like your new shitty life and your father’s death.

But your life wasn’t shitty. It was good and you had a purpose.

Your father’s murderer was going to get up and you weren’t going to fight back because you were just so, so tired. And maybe you deserved to die. But you didn’t want to die without telling Azriel everything you were thinking.

Caliban screamed in pain. Turning to face him you see your guardian angel kneeling over him. Truthteller dripping with Caliban’s blood.

Azriel was fuming. His chest moving up and down with his rapid breaths. “Azriel,” you croak out. He snaps out of his trance. “Y/n,” he slide over to you on his knees, cradling your head in his hands. “It’s ok. We’re going to take you home.”

Mor appeared over his shoulder. A relieved smile gracing her full lips. Azriel stands with you in his arms. Mor holds onto his arm winnowing you both back to the Town House. Azriel brings you right up to his old room, setting you down gently on the bed.

Mor comes back with Madja in tow. The old healer giving Azriel a look that said “I know this is your brother’s fault” as she mended your broken nose.

Azriel holds your hand the whole time, being that silent calming presence for you until Madja left

“Why didn’t you fight harder? I know you could’ve gotten up.” There was pain in his voice. A long painful silence fell between you two before you answered. “I thought maybe I deserved it.” Tears silently fall down your cheeks as Azriel lightly squeezes your hand. He felt his heart crack a little. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “For everything.”

Azriel shakes his head, his heart fully cleaving in two. “There is nothing to be sorry for y/n. Things haven’t been easy for you and I’ve seen that.” Azriel pulls you onto his lap hugging you to his chest as you sob.

Weeks later Azriel hasn’t left your side. Your words troubled him and he wants to show you that you deserve everything good in life. It was his mission to make sure you stopped punishing yourself for his past.

While Cassian gave him suggestions Azriel ignored his brother. His and Nesta’s relationship got off to a rocky start and the couple are still working their issues out.

Az decided to take a different approach with you. Some days you would take breaks from training. He would take you out to eat in the city or for a bonding activity, as Az liked to call it.

You gave him a questioning look the first time he suggested it. Then followed up with, “We do what I want everyday. Let’s do something you want to do.” You raised a brow at him. Feeling like this was a trap. But you’d take it. “Ok,” you shrugged and headed out the door.

You dragged Azriel from shop to shop to see where his limit would be for you buying extravagant items. He didn’t complain once though. Az just smiled and held a majority of the bags for you

Over the next few months you became closer with Azriel. The two of you have gotten so close you consider him one of your best friends. The spymaster quickly became your confidant. You opened up to him about things you haven’t even told Nesta.

It was your scheduled fudge night, where you each bring a different kind of fudge home, eat and gossip. Along with the occasional glass of wine. You were laughing about a story Az was telling you about Cassian in their 30’s. Rhys away with his father and the pair decided to party it up in the city without their brother. Azriel isn’t sure how he lost Cassian but when he finally found the General he was floating on his back in the Sidra.

“Just floating,” you snorted out covering your mouth. “Yes! He told me he saw a mermaid and just had to woo her.” That made you laugh even harder, leaning on his shoulder as you regained your composure. Azriel’s heart stutters at your palm lying flat against his chest. Your touch is soft and welcomed.

Az smiles down at you, watching the color of your cheeks go from that cherry red to their normal color. Your lips still pulled into a smile as you wipe the tears from your eyes. Azriel didn’t realize that he was softly smiling at you until you looked at him asking, “What?” He shook his head, “Nothing.” His voice gentle.

You brush it off going back to the chocolate peanut butter fudge Azriel brought. Taking a bite and sinking back into the cushions you ask for another embarrassing story. Azriel obliges because he could never deny you.

Another bonding activity you two cherish is painting. Like for the kids Feyre runs classes for you and Az find it therapeutic

Once a month, when there’s a free afternoon in the studio’s schedule, Feyre lets you two have a free paint session. You and Az set up easels to face each other and chat while you paint.

Your first painting session was silent except for the sound of the brushes and occasional question azriel would ask you. You only gave him one word answers of course. And the painting you made was a mess of colors. You just had to get your anger put and didn’t feel like trying. At the end of the hour you shoved it in the trash can and left without Azriel.

Today that first session felt like a lifetime ago. You were chatting with Azriel, gossiping and laughing like you’ve been friends for centuries

This time you were adding to a painting you started two months ago. You really wanted to get better at drawing and even asked Feyre to teach you the basics in your free time. Hands are a hard thing to draw but the skill came quite easy to you.

Putting the finishing touches on the shading of the sword you stand back and admire your hard work. It’s of one of the most important moments in your life, when Azriel taught you how to hold a sword. On that day you knew everything would change. There was a new trust between you and Azriel, he trusted you and believed in your abilities. It felt like the first time someone really believed in you, like your potential was truly seen.

In the painting Azriel was guiding your hand to grip the hilt correctly. The sapphire siphons looked like they were glowing and the white ribbon you cut on your fourth try was wrapped around your wrist.

“Are you finally going to let me see it?” Az asked, dragging his own brush in long strokes across the canvas. You squinted your eyes in thought, debating if you truly wanted to show him or wait for Feyre’s critique. “I guess,” you sigh.

Azriel laid down his brush and pallet, wiping his hands off with a paint cover cloth. Coming to face your painting his jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Azriel was rendered speechless by your skills. “Wow,” he breathed out. “Y/n…this is incredible. The detail. My scars even,” his scared hand reached out to touch the painting before he realized he shouldn’t. Instead he mindlessly moved to gently hold your hand.

The two of you stood there staring at your art for a while. You finally noticed Azriel had laced his fingers with yours. You smile at your joined hands, squeezing his before staring back at the painting.

Azriel looks down at you, that love sick smile you always seem to miss was on his face again. Just as he’s about to say something (he hoped would be romantic) Feyre came back from lunch. The bell above the door chimed causing you to jump apart.

“Wow!” She quickly made her way over to you to get a better look at your painting. “Y/n! This is fantastic! We must get it framed and hang it in the house.” The High Lady rambled on, praising your skills.

Azriel crept out as you and Feyre talked. He would talk to you again and there would be another time to tell you what was on his mind.

Missions these days were always vetted by Azriel before Rhys asked you to do anything. You haven’t been doing many lately anyway. Helping Azriel delegate, strategizing, and desk work has been your strong suit.

When Rhys noticed he called you both to his office. Azriel could tell Rhys was angry with him. He knew his brother’s tells well enough. You on the other hand just thought Rhys wanted a progress report on your skills again.

“Sit,” the High Lord said through gritted teeth. You tried to avert Rhy’s gaze while Azriel held strong, staring his brother down. Azriel would stand by his decision to keep you safe. That day he found you with Caliban scared the shit out of him. He never wanted you out there alone or without him again.

Rhys looked at you first. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been going into the field lately.” You shook your head, finally looking at your High Lord. “Care to explain.” You didn’t know what to say. Wouldn’t this be a problem between him and Az. “I—Az has been pairing me up less. I’ve been training more with the Valkyries and field work has been pushed back.”

Rhys let out a hum, his lips pulled into a thin line. “Azriel,” he directed his attention to his brother whose eyes haven’t left him once. “Why isn’t she out there? Is she not one of your spies? Is there not work to be done?” Azriel clenched his jaw. Once again biting his tongue.

“I have had y/n doing other tasks she is comfortable with.” Azriel’s voice was restrained. He saw right through Rhys’s questions and damn him. Azriel saw you were reluctant to go out after Caliban so he made a choice that would keep you safe. “Was it y/n’s choice or yours?” Before Azriel could explode on Rhys you rest a hand on his thigh for comfort. “It was my decision, Rhys. I haven’t been the best out in the field and Azriel found what I’m good at.” You look between the two of them with a small smile to diffuse the tension.

Rhys returned your smile giving you a nod. “I’m glad that you found something you like. Could you give Azriel and I a moment please.” You wordlessly get up and give Azriel’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

Once they were sure you were down the hall Rhys began his tirade. “You do not get to decide what her limits are. I know what she said just now, that was clearly to cover for you. But you cannot keep treating y/n like this.” “Like what,” Azriel spat back.

“Like she is a child! Y/n has come very far in her career, something her father would be proud of. By resigning her to desk work you tear down all the confidence she has built. You’ve kept her away from everything since Caliban. I needed her in the Hewn City and you told me no. I needed her in Autumn and Day and you shot those down too. Why?” Rhys was trying to keep his cool but there was a desperation to his questions.

Azriel stood from his chair. “She doesn’t want to be her father. Y/n is more than this.” Realization flashed in Rhys’s eyes. “Y/n has truly found something she is good at. She’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and one of your best strategists.” Without another word Azriel turned on his heel and left.

After that conversation Rhys laid off you more. He quickly realized things were more organized since you had left spying

You kept your distance from Azriel for a few days, unsure if you got him in trouble by lying to the High Lord. Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. Az just suggested a new position and you took it.

Did you work for those few days? No. You took them to rest. You haven’t taken a day off in over a year so, why not relax.

You baked cookies, something you used to do with your grandmother every week. You decided on snicker-doodles to enjoy while starting the stack of books Nesta and Emerie suggested you read.

Azriel also gave you your space. He’s been by your side for months at this point. You could use a few days without him, even though it pained him. Azriel loved spending time with you. Sure you brought chaos into his life, but it was the good kind.

On day four of being apart Azriel couldn’t take it anymore. He found you wrapped in your favorite blanket in one of the least used siting rooms in the House of Wind. A fire roaring in the hearth to keep you warm, a mug of tea next to a plate of cookies ready for you when you take a break.

Putting your book down you finally notice Az staring at you in the doorway. That love sick smile he thinks you don’t notice plastered on his face. “Hey,” you say excitedly. “Come, sit with me.” You pat the spot on the couch next to you.

He plops down next to you, curling a wing around you for extra warmth. Without a second thought you snuggle into his side. A blush dusts Azriel’s tan cheeks as he looks away from you. You giggle at the sight of the feared spymaster blushing.

You gently trace his cheek down to his jaw, taking in his beauty. Over the last year you had become very taken with Azriel. He had been there for you no matter what you threw at him. You pull Azriel’s face to look at you. You met his hazel eyes that held so much love and adoration for you, you just didn’t see it.

“Y/n I, there’s something I’ve wanted to say and I just—” Azriel cut himself off with a shake of his head, leaning in so his lips meet yours in a soft kiss you’ve been waiting months for. You kissed him back, running your fingers through his hair.

Breaking apart you give him a giddy smile. It was the most genuine look he’s seen on you since you came to them. “That was better than anything you could’ve said.” You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. Az smiled back, “I still have so much I want to say. Have to say.” “I have all the time to listen.”

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader fic #acotar reader imagine #acotar imagine #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel imagine #azriel fanfic #acotar azriel #azriel #azriel headcanons

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kandlewick · 5 months ago

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since its taking so long, im gonna drop a preview of my leona's ''i'll dry the villain's tears'....... this one is special because i unfortunately decided mid writing that i wanted it to be romantic but alas that means i had to scrap a lot of twst lore to fit my narrative hghfg so think of this one as an au to my usual entries. an interest check. these entries were MEANT to be strictly platonic but a few of them (leona, MAYBE azul and malleus (between lilia and the reader)), just gave me so many ideas.

SO IT IS UNFINISHED! its 4k words but still unresolved unless people like, want me to scrap twst lore as heavily as i did in this lmao

i'll dry the villain's tears pt. 3.1415926535897

you get reincarnated into a role that became the breaking point of the villain's story and you, be it an unwillingness to cause them harm or a desire to survive, must work hard to make sure they grow into a better (or at least safer) person.

all entries are USUALLY to be read as platonic however this one wouldn't go away. All are USUALLY meant to be taken place in the TWST universe accurate to the game but this one is special because I love leona and he'd be so cool as a manwha love interest.

You awaken one day with perhaps the largest bump you've ever seen placed nearly perfectly center on your forehead. You don't remember how you got it exactly but the two princes never left your side (Falena would not stop crying and despite his claims of laughter at your expense, you can tell his brother was equally worried), only being dragged away by their tutor as soon as they let their guard down.

You looked down at the hands on your lap and clutched your fists open and closed over and over again. Gone were your long fingers and wide palms, instead you looked down at the chubby hands of a child no more than six.

From what your handmaiden had told you, the three of you had been playing spelldrive together and Leona, in his eagerness to best his brother, had shot the disk perhaps a bit too strong and instead of flying in to the goal, it had changed course and struck you hard enough to knock you unconscious for the rest of the early hours of the morning.

You remembered this event. It's what led to Falena's betrothed sticking closer to him and farther from Leona. What once was a well balanced trio had become a teeter totter with Falena and her on one side and Leona alone, unable to change anything with what little weight he had to offer.

Falena's betrothed; that was you. From the story you had read, the two were deeply in love and ruled the kingdom hand in hand towards a brighter future... all while unknowingly leaving the youngest brother in the shadows, forgotten and alone and desperate. You couldn't afford for that to happen.

You don't see the two of them until late that evening. Falena looked exhausted, like the tutoring had beaten any last bit of energy he could spare and with a loud yawn, had eagerly hopped into the cot next to you on your right. Leona was slow to join the two of you but settled himself to your left, his shoulder bumping yours as you turned to give him your attention, curiously returning the gesture. Leona matched your gaze, looking you over for any signs of pain before he opened his mouth.

"You look ridiculous," he spoke aloud, glancing at your bruised forehead. Subconsciously, you reached up and checked the tender spot and gave him an unimpressed look.

“I only look like this because you can’t shoot a disk right.” You huffed, choosing to ignore his presence, instead cuddling up to Falena who was more than eager to reciprocate, easily wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulder and nudging your chin in a friendly hug. “At least your brother is being nice to me.”

However, despite your teasing voice, Falena was quick to come to his defense, “Leona’s just not good at showing he was worried about you. You should’ve seen his face when he saw you fall over, I’ve never seen him run that fast in his life.” Leona rolled his eyes but made no response as his brother laughed, choosing to settle himself in your cot while closing his eyes, his tail lazily curling up behind you. Your beastman tail - you don’t know when you would ever get used to that - sat itself besides his, curling the two into a gentle hold. Leona glanced over at you from the corner of his one opened eye but chose not to comment about it.

Even at your young age, you could tell that Leona communicated in a particular way. His words may be harsh, but his actions were tender.

“Mmm, someone had to.” Leona muttered, nuzzling himself deeper into the pillows, “Falena was too busy crying about you to be of any help.”

Falena made no effort to deny the claims and sheepishly smiled at you, “He is not wrong, haha. I was very worried for you! You should’ve seen the maid’s face when they saw you passed out in the field!” He reached out and plucked your hand into his. When you looked at him, you could still see the red dotting his eyes from how hard he had cried. It was no wonder your body’s original owner had fallen so head over heels for this boy. While he and Leona were brothers, they couldn’t have been more night and day.

“You shouldn’t have worried too much, Falena! I’m fine, really. Kifaji said that I should be fine in a few days.” You waved his worry off with your hand, gingerly pressing the tips of your fingers against the small lump, “There wasn’t a concussion or anything but he wanted to make s- Hm?”

Falena and Leona both looked up at you with wide eyes, both of their gazes making you feel small. You slumped in your seat and blinked at the both of them, silently feeling sheepish all of a sudden, “Is something wrong?”

“Why are you calling me by my name!” Falena looked almost scandalized as he let go of you, his hands floating at your sides like he was too scared to touch you, “Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”

“Eh? Eh?”

“Looks like I hit her a little too hard.” Leona chuckled, watching in barely contained amusement as his brother’s soul practically floated out of his chest, “What happened to calling him, ‘husband’?”

This body’s former owner was a precocious little child, wasn’t she!!! You couldn’t believe the audacity, calling your ten year old fiance ‘husband’!

As required of any royal belonging to the Sunset Savannah, you were expected to build lasting relations with other tribes and honorable guests much like any other adult and as such, other than the two royal siblings, you were given many playmates. Some were older than you and some were younger, but they were many and varied and always tried to stay on your good side. And as such, they were exceedingly worried about you when you arrived late to your most recent playdate with a freshly bandaged head.

“My liege, what happened!” the youngest cried, quickly latching on to your arm, tears welling up in his shiny eyes, “Are you alright? Does it hurt?”

You waved them off with your hand, a soft but embarrassed smile on your face. Their eyes watered, their large elephant beastman ears flopping up and down wildly as they looked you over head to toe for any sign of injury. You could hear them loudly sniffling as they bit back tears. They’ve always been a bit of a crybaby from what your memories could tell you. A shy, but friendly young boy… if a little bit of a hypochondriac. One of your older playmates rolled her eyes but you could tell she was worried by the subtle way she refused to leave your side, glancing over at you from the corner of her eye.

“I can’t believe Prince Leona would do something as clumsy as hurting his brother’s fiance!” One of your newer playmates huffed loudly, her eyes narrowed in annoyance, “Really, he’s lucky his brother forgave him so fast - ah! You as well, it’s good you forgave him too!! He doesn’t deserve it if you asked me!” She huffed loudly as she played with your toys, her jaguar tail batting the floor loudly. She paid no mind to your two companions sounds of offense, instead choosing to meet your gaze from over her shoulder.

You blinked at her, your eyes wide in confusion. Your two other companions matched your expression, the two of them surprised she would dare to say anything like that outloud. Leona hadn’t meant to hit you after all! You were playing…

Your newest playmate, so new you could hardly remember her name scoffed at the three of you, obviously annoyed you didn’t join her in her thoughts. “For real, who does he think he is? He’s the second son, he should be bowing on his hands and knees at your feet! You’re the future king’s fiance, he should be grateful he’s even allowed to play with you two! W-”

You don’t know what came over you and why you did it, but you felt your body react to her words, and somehow, your fist made contact with her cheek sending her sprawling on the floor. The sound of her collapsing was loud enough to shock you out of your stupor, a dull ache throbbing around your knuckles. She looked up at you with wide eyes as she cradled her cheek, you staring down at her with equally large doe shaped eyes. You couldn’t believe you had just done that!

“Leona is my friend.” Your lips began moving before you could even think. You were firm on this even as tears began welling up in your eyes. Ah, you sighed. Even if your mind isn’t young, your body still is shaking like a leaf. The hand you had punched the child with quivered from nerves. “Dont - don’t speak that way about him!” Your voice raised in pitch, “His brother and I love him very much!”

The little girl bared her teeth at you, unwilling to take your actions lying down, “How can you say these things? He hurt you!” She hissed.

“It was an accident!” You matched her tone, the sadness quickly evaporating into anger, “Sometimes accidents happen when you’re playing! He’s good and kind and would never, ever hurt me! Ever!”

Your shouting was quick to alarm the servants stationed outside your playroom’s walls. Kifaji was the first one in, eyes sharp as he immediately separated you from the other children, stepping in the way with his back to you. “What is going on here?” He questioned. There was no room for nonsense in his expression and his words matched that as he gazed around the play area. The girl cradled her cheek as she glared at you, unwilling to speak up. She may have made the mistake of bad mouthing the second prince in the presence of other children, but she knew better than to say those words around another adult that wasn’t her own parent. Kifaji raised his brow at her silence before turning to your gorilla and elephant companions, silently questioning the two. They shrunk under his glare and made no move to open their mouths instead choosing to nervously shuffle closer to you.

You tugged on Kifaji’s robes, the fabric soft between your trembling fingers. Glancing over at you, he leaned down and crouched to match your gaze. While his eyes were hard and strict, you could tell that he cared about you and the princes. He would listen to you. You could trust him.

“She was talking badly about Prince Leona…” You whispered to him, “so I punched her.”

Kifaji made a face, but nodded his head slowly. You hoped he understood. With a heavy sigh, he gathered up his robes and picked himself up.

“Come along,” He gestured to the girl, “Let us find your parents. I believe the playdate has come to an end.” and with a gentle hand, he helped her up as she began dabbing away at her eyes but not before shooting you a glare from over her shoulder. You stuck your tongue out at her. As soon as the adults exited the room, you quickly reached up and wiped away the tears staining your cheeks before returning to your friends, the mood sufficiently ruined for the rest of the play date.

It wasn’t until later that evening that Kifaji returned, a cross expression on his face. The guards at his sides were quick to disperse as he approached you, his robes billowing out behind him like colorful plumage. With practiced precision, he kneeled down to your eye level and reached out, bringing your small hands into his. His rough hands itched against your soft ones.

“What you did today could have ended very poorly, my liege.” He spoke softly, but his tone was firm, “You must remember, your position here in the palace is not final. If you cause too much of a ruckus…”

Was the king’s advisor really telling you to ignore this? That you should let Leona be bad mouthed by those in power? You were quick to glare at the older man, ripping your hands away from him and taking a few steps back, eager to separate the two of you.

“I’m not going to let people say whatever they want about Leona.”

Kifaji, shocked, stared for a moment before narrowing his eyes, “This is what I’m talking about, my liege. You are too quick to anger. You must calm yourself. I am not saying you must ignore the problem, but what I am trying to say is, your position in the palace as Falena’s future spouse, is not permanent.”

You hated to admit it but he had a point. You bit your lip but said nothing, cowed under his words. It was the truth. If you wanted to protect Leona, despite having the best intentions, you couldn’t exactly expect to have the sway as an adult. You were a child and easily replaceable. A glorified playmate.

“That is why, my liege,” Kifaji brought himself to his feet, dusting off his robe with a flick of a wrist, “you come to me.”

You turned and looked at him, not expecting the protective glint to his eye. He nodded his head before continuing.

“I will make sure that these things are handled correctly without repercussions. As the king’s advisor, I am not so easily replaceable.” He chuckled, fixing his glasses with a precise motion, “I will admit I am not as… in touch with the other servants in the palace and diplomats are always so careful with their words around me, it’s difficult to gauge their true intentions but with you, they will surely slip up and speak more plainly then perhaps they should.”

You stared up at the man in awe. You couldn’t believe your luck! Kifaji was taking your side and was going to actively help you in your quest to project Leona. Maybe before he was never given the opportunity, never had the time to set aside to investigate. Maybe he never knew. Now, however, he was given the chance with you to defend the prince. You very nearly teared up but were quick to wipe them away as Kifaji laughed, his hand reaching down to ruffle your hair affectionately.

And so the two of you were quick to act, swiftly cutting contact with merchants and dignitaries that shared less than favorable feelings for the second prince. You and Kifaji would have monthly meetings together with snacks courtesy of the king and his wife as you spoke of matters in the palace. You had a special role, scouting out and spying on maids and soldiers that gossiped in the servant’s quarters. Nobody expected anything when you even brought in your two playmates, Magani and Akut (the gorilla and elephant beastmen respectively) to join in on the spying. This carried on for several years as you heavily vetted all coming through the palace all without letting Leona see the work you pulled behind the curtains. All the strings and wires were yours to control and you were going to make good use of the opportunities you were given.

But, for some reason, Leona never seemed to want to leave your side. While you worked on your schooling, he would sit and while away the hours under the light of the sun from his favorite perch right beside your desk. Even in this life he was a lazy lion, preferring the quiet you brought then the loud personality of his elder brother. Sometimes you would join him on his naps, your tails quietly intertwining in a silent embrace. It was a comforting feeling. Moments like this were always a relief after the hours you and Falena had to spend together in your diplomacy lessons. A lot was expected of you as the future queen of Sunset Savanna. There were many late nights where you both stayed up till the crack of dawn together, stubbornly unwilling to give up with tears in your eyes as you studied until your vision blurred. It wasn't an uncommon sight for Kifaji to find the two of you bundled up together with books piled at your feet in the early hours of the morning.

Afternoon lunch dates with Falena and Leona were also rowdy and fun. While Falena was always quick to stay by your side and fight for your attention, Leona was seemingly content with letting your future husband monopolize your time. It wouldn’t be uncommon for Leona to doze off while Falena tried to do ‘couple-y’ things with you

It was all perfect.

Until Falena was accepted into the Royal Sword Academy.

“You’re… breaking our engagement?”

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #leona kingsholar x reader

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catchingdaydreams · 5 months ago

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Dungeon Meshi spoiler

Theory time : Laios greatest desires

It's been bugging me about what Laios greatest desires are as there are different ways to portray it. So here's my interpretation.

Firstly I want to acknowledge that Laios is still or some what is still the ultimate monster. Whatever he wrote down in his book describing the ultimate monster abilities (not physical appearances I'm focusing on) came true in one way, shape and form. Firstly, the ability to consume the lions desire in the first place. Secondly, in the side stories his poop actually creates a forest. Now the quote "can change shape" actually occurs twice throughout the series (so far).

Firstly turning into the monster and secondary, turning back to a human. The second time was not an act of the Lion as said quote "no magic works on it", thus it is completely Laios doing to shape shift freely. It's also interesting to note that both times he sheds his skin when changing into a new form. Like why this specially? Funny enough we do see this other time, as he turns into a wolf in his dreams to save his friend from the nightmares.

Furthermore, while turning back into a tall man, he isn't completely monster free. His aura remains that other monsters still recognize and therefore fear him.

The idea that weaker monsters fear stronger monsters to the extent of avoiding them is mentioned many times throughout the series. For example Senshi talks about how delicate the food chain is and that a stronger monster (squid/ krachen one) caused an imbalance to the abundance of other species. Naturally dragons are known to be one of the strongest monsters in the dungeon, as Thistle set a variety of different species to kill his party. Yet a common thing arises, coexist is near non-existent as power overall dominates all (either by kicking others off their territory or eating the weaker one). This Laios presence being the ultimate monster is not only removing other strong-ish monsters but disrupting the overall food chain.

Now that I establish what I think Laios is I want to drive it back to what his ultimate desire was. Here are some common ideas that I've seen from others on what his curse was:

To never turn back into the ultimate monster again.

Laios has repeatedly mentioned that he wanted to be another race and fauns over Falins chimera form. So never being able to shape shift again could be his curse.

Never will be full.

This theory stems from when Laios is still eating the dragon despite his friends being full/stick from overeating. They make a comment of concern when Laios says he's not really full yet. There is also speculation from one of the panel of Laios being dramatic as he tried to eat a walking mushroom.

Monsters fearing him and/or fail to cultivate them

In my opinion all of these are correct. Yet how?

Laios cannot eat monsters anymore

It was the main driver/theme thought the series from him and his group to eat monsters to survive. Yet little by little Laios ambitious desire to eat monsters for survival quickly became for the pleasure of taste. This isn't a bad thing, as I would like to clarify. Yet the Winged Lion doesn't really have a grasp of humanity and sees desire as desire, thus is exploiting Laios to go down a gluttonous path. And it does this by offering/guide them to a variety of monsters and access to water and basic needs for cooking. This though doesn't work as Laios is Laios. He isn't selfish. His desires for monsters mixed with the need for acceptance is heavily stated with wanted to integrate and cultivate monsters up on the surface. Furthermore, as he's not alone unlike other dungeon masters such as Thistle or Mithrun, his actions are quickly dispelled if they are reckless. For instance Senshi makes a very important note of keeping the ecosystem in balance and to not over take/kill species as it would upset the food chain. Without his party, gluttony would further be his downfall.

Yet becoming the ultimate monster can also be seen as a gluttonous ideal. He's a apex predator, thus like an actual apex predator no one is able to challenge him / prevent him on what he can or cannot eat eat. The only downfall to his survival is his abundance of prey. Heck being able to eat the lion's desire also alludes to his power of gluttony too.

So with the curse, wouldn't it be ironic to prevent his desire to eat monsters. Being the ultimate monster is now a double edged sword as prey escapes him. He cannot share his desires for eating monsters amongst his people anymore, thus the quotes or trial and error from the epilogue pages. Even if he gets his hands on a monster he cannot truly enjoy eating it, as it never makes him full, which can be interpreted from the epilogue page as well. One might look at the page and interpret as him getting ill from eating the walking mushroom too.

Basically, Laios, as a monster, cannot be a part of an ecological process such as a food webs. He wanted to be accepted and liked by his peers, now he's rejected by nature. Forced to crave for the taste of monsters flesh but it remains elusive.

Forever unsatisfied

By ones desire

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

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mamwieleimion · 2 months ago

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I have this new take on Elrond and his looks/connection to his ancestry/how he's precived.

This is something of a cumulation of posts I have read that talked about things like:

How people see Elrond as physically most a like to people they want to see at first

How Elrond accidentally became a Patron of Unions/Marriage

How Men think he's incredibly Elven and Elves think he looks a lot like a Men

How no matter how he dressed in Valinor his always gonna turn heads and concerned questions (specially from the Noldor)

And of him being more Maia/Eldritch

Him being a Feanorian (I don't really know if that's relevant but I see him as one so that might affect how I write about him below 👇)

(some of these can be found on my profile/in my posts if anyone interested)

Alright, having said all that, I can now being.

So, men don't really have great memory of times past. But! Let's assume that some kind of knowledge of Doriath had survived long enough into the Second Age, that when Men generally knew about Rivendell they had accidentally between generations lost the distinction between Doriath and Rivendell.

Let's be honest, if the common folk have such stories, then somethings must get lost between generations. And the nobles also at some point might have for some time lost the distinction, I would totally believe that.

Anyways, and so, there is this legend/myth going around Men that the Hidden Elven City is and always was Rivendell (they might get a little fussed up with Gondolin but less so than Doriath I think). And they all agree that the Realm/City is ruled by a powerful being/spirit (they don't remember maiar anymore, but if they did, it would be a Maia ruling the Hidden Elven City/Realm).

So sometimes, when an injured man stumbles his way into Rivendell, and maybe they make the connection with our lovely Valley and their myths/legends. And then they are introduced to the healer who brought them back from the brink of death (Lord of the Valley Elrond). The men is pretty sure it was a woman ruling the Hidden Elven City, but it also could've meant Lord Elrond's wife (she probably passed away, the men mused later to justify his own thoughts. Because the death of a spouse isn't something new to men), or really, the Lord is beautiful enough to pass for a woman. The men doesn't say anything, he stays respectful. And when he leaves, he talks about the spirit who brought him back from the dead, saved him with a miracle from the heavens, of his kindness and beauty. The myth grows.

And maybe, along the way this belief becomes so strong something in Elrond awakens. After all, the blood of Ainur is strong, was strong in Luthien, almost overwhelming her elven nature. Was visible in Dior as all who looked at him found themselves failing to their knees in awe, feeling the fulfilment of their search for beauty. It had became stronger in Elwing, who used the Silmaril as the only light in her life, who as a small girl-queen only had this one thing left of her family. Elwing who unknowingly became stronger from this exposure, who feed her Ainur blood with light and strengthened herself until when she fell all Ulmo had to do to change her form was to give her a push in the right direction.

And it all came down to Elrond. Elrond who as a child, a newborn, was exposed to the light of the Silmaril, who after his kidnapping/impromptu adoption was nurtured by two powerful Elves of Valinor, by Eldest Sons of Feanor the Fire Spirit, who despite what some would like to forget had the blood of Finwë running in his veins alongs side the blood of Melian and Thingol. Elrond who held a Ring of Power and stood straight under its weight, who created a sanctuary in the darkness. The Lord of Rivendell who, knowingly or not, had created the only thing that could rival the Griddle of Doriath and even surpass it with it's complexity.

Elrond had became something more along the way. Even though many saw a man in him, others an elf. Elrond lived up to his ancestors and became more as they have. The Lord of Rivendell became a legend, a myth, a figure and an idea. And you can't kill ideas. So what if, he was something more? It didn't really matter at the end, because it was Elrond, kind as summer and wise as a wizard. And he protected his people.

So, when he sailed to Valinor, the only people who were suprised by his power/presence he had were those who never met him before. If a few Maiar were watching invisibly to elves as he arrived and he saw them then what? No one will call him out.

And even if he had became more elf than men, and then more Maia than elf along his long journey of life. It doesn't change anything at the end. Because the Lord of Rivendell was still the same.

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brucewaynehater101 · 7 months ago

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Apologies if I'm remembering wrong but I recall you posting/reblogging a post of Tim being afraid for Damian after he became Robin, thinking Red Hood would redirect his ire to him

Let's expand on that, Damian finding out about all the horrible shit Tim went through and put himself through and beginning to dread being Robin more and more but not wanting to take it back because he doesn't want to add onto Tim's pain

((and also because giving up robin would make him look week, but that's just an excuse))

So Damian is wrecked with anxiety because when is the hammer gonna drop and he'll receive what Tim did?

And if Tim's inheritance is going to be his, that means inheriting all the labor he is endures when running Wayne Enterprises, and etc

And Damian—wrong as he is—thinking himself selfish for hoping Tim stays in the family just so the day he inherits his duties comes later

Damian bonding with Tim over pain the latter experienced and the former is certain he will as well

((and also imagine what will go through Damian's head if he were to find out Tim doesn't even consider himself an actual Wayne member and just a Placeholder to keep the family from crumbling to pieces like that other post, a Placeholder until Jason and Damian came))

((and suddenly his assassination attempts seem like all for nothing and even self-sabotage, woof))

Hello! It seems that there are two of my posts you're referring to here (which is super super cool). This is going to be a long post cause it inspired me to really look at their dynamic and explore it.

One post talks about how Tim became Red Robin and didn't choose another mantle. There's a few reasons for this (like not being able to step down from his role of helping Bruce), but the reason you're referring to is another theory of mine. Tim may be Red Robin to share the burden and pain being Robin entails. He doesn't want Damian to face it alone. By being Red Robin, he can shoulder some of the ire from Batman.

The other post has Tim, who signed himself up to being Jason's placeholder both in an out of the mask, seeing himself as worthless and temporary. Both of his roles, being Jason and being Robin, got filled by Jason and Damian later.

Now that we've got the background, I absolutely love your take on this. I will add a few fics that expand on this view, but I do want to talk about it more first.

Unfortunately, Damian is used to a lot of abuse before coming to live with the Waynes (I love good mom Talia, but training to be an assassin is still abuse. She could have good reasons, but it still hurt Damian). He probably felt that he needed to earn his place and fulfill his familial role as Robin. Even as he matures and heals a bit, he may be reluctant to let Robin go. That type of training and enforced dedication to family is not simple to let go (even from a purely emotional abuse standpoint without any of the physical abuse he likely endured [This can be another thing he shares with Tim and his reluctantance to let Red Robin go]).

Kids, like Damian, will see others in similar situations and try to avoid their fate.

What is more likely? Tim is just special in being a target of isolation and abuse, or that Damian could one day be treated the same?

There's a ton of interesting theories about roles within abusive families (my family was emotionally abusive fyi). The sad part is that some of the kids will follow the example of their parents and abuse their siblings. This is both because parents model behavior and as a survival technique to not become the scapegoat like that one sibling. Damian may have joined in on being verbally abusive for both of these reasons (as well as being an extremely traumatized kid lashing out).

As he grows older and gains perspective (as well as distance from his LoA days), he may reflect on his behavior and the treatment of Tim. Tim is also the closest in age to Damian. He might be around physically more than the other siblings (besides Duke). Perhaps Duke even points out the differential treatment. There's a lot of ways that the metaphorical ball could get rolling.

This could be where Damian starts to regret his actions toward Tim. It may start from a selfish place (which, survival is not selfish and being selfish isn't always bad) of Damian realizing the assassination attempts are self-sabotage (and I love this idea and reflection on Damian). This would then morph into a genuine relationship and reliance on Tim.

I imagine, with these circumstances, that Tim becomes an anchor and safe point for Damian. All of the siblings have varying effects on the others, but this would be separate from that. While Dick is Damian's harbor, Tim would be closer to a lighthouse protecting Damian from the rocky shoreline. Dick is a place to rest and heal. Tim is a warning and guide (feel free to reblog with how the other batkids would be with Damian or each other).

Continually, Damian wanting Tim to stick around the family for his own safety hurts like hell. This casts the older sibling guilt (of leaving your siblings behind in that damn house) in a younger sibling's shame. Depending on the age, the younger sibling might be angry the older left or ashamed they want to ask in the first place. As a middle child, that fucking hurts (my situation is a bit more nuanced than that, but fuck. Ow).

Anyways, tons of angst to explore there on both of their parts.

I sincerely hope that Damian gets a life outside of WE. I hope he at least has time to explore himself (and maybe get a different career) before ever taking up WE. Depending on Tim's role in WE, this may fuck him over. I would be down to read some fics that explore Tim struggling under WE (cause he was meant for the research labs and not meeting rooms) and his refusal to step down due to the pressure that would put on Damian's shoulders (I know Tim isn't actually CEO in canon, but it's good to explore how the expectation of taking up the family business affects sibling dynamics).

Fic rec time! All are on AO3

"Exit Strategy" by smilebackwards (Tim's plan to leave the Waynes creates the ability for Damian and Tim to bond [not that Damian knows this is the plan]. Hurt ensues).

"Taming a Baby Assassin" by nighttmr (Tim, after being notified that he's getting a younger sibling with Damian, decides he'll be a big brother regardless of the effort required).

"Some Common Ground" by Do_wa_diddy (Both Damian and Tim are used to cruel standards of training. The others do not understand this and try to limit how they train. This causes Tim and Damian to bond).

"Just Like the Movies" by faithms (Damian finds a flash drive of all the times Bruce has been horrible to Tim).

"The Study of Birds" by MaskoftheRay (Tim and Damian find a common interest in bird watching. It shows them slowly becoming closer despite the obstacles).

Last one:

"You'll Change Your Name or Change Your Mind (previous title: Tim Drake Learns to Set Boundaries)" series by samsamiam.

I wholeheartedly recommend this series. Basically, Tim sets boundaries for himself while offering Damian sanctuary (should the kid need). It becomes Tim protecting Damian even from Bruce. Very very very good.

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #damian wayne #damian wayne angst #tim and damian #tim drake angst #thank you for the ask!!!!

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m-ilkiee · 2 months ago

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"Within a span of one month, (name) (last name) has been physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually assaulted by two out of three Sano brothers because their egos couldn't handle being called out on their horrible treatment. Unfortunately for the poor woman, the mental strain took a toll on her and she attempted to take her life. She survived after desperate attempts to resucitate her and was rushed to a nearby hospital, where she was treated. One would think the Sano brothers would feel some form of guilt for pushing her towards the edge but no. In fact, this was just the beginning of the horrors (name) will experience in their hands." Layla's commentary podcast on chapter 1 and 2 of "Monsters"

Welcome to Monster's first ever poll! I have teased this since last month, but unfortunately, I haven't had the energy to do so. If you haven't read the last chapter, I'd advice you do so before we continue.

So, we've seen the two brothers in action. We've seen how manipulative Manjiro can be to bend the truth to fit his ideal and we've seen how cruel Izana can be, to make sure reader stays silent. With the two of them already made their move, the stage is set for the horrors yet to play out.

However, I am curious, the two of them went to such great lenghts to make reader miserable. Mikey gaslit Reader until she had no will to do anything and Izana reminded her of a past she would rather forget. Mikey broke her heart and Izana put cracks in her spirit, both different ways for the same goal, silence. so who do you think did was far worse and why?

(If you're too shy to comment or reblog your answers, my anons are wide open.)

(As I promised, I've decided to add something extra! Blind items! These are to add more context and shed more light on parts of the story I couldn't get in. Blind Items are submitted by an anoynmous side characters and if you can guess correctly who, I'll give you a special shout out in the next chapter!)

#1 Blind Item: Bruised Ego

"When reader came newly to school as freshman, the boss(Izana) had an actual interest in her. It even got to the point that he wanted to invite her to one of our parties to know her better. Unfortunately, he found out from (name)'s roommate whom he was hooking up with at that time, that (name) thought he was scary and preferred Mikey. This hurt him and made him want revenge to teach her a lesson. This is why he has all her past information at his finger tips, because he wanted to torment her since she unknowingly rejected his advances. He only paused because Emma later became friends with her and kept it in case. I know this because I travelled to (name)'s hometown to collect some of these information." - Submitted by an upper echelon in Tenjiku

#hello.layla 🍓#monsters ♡#monsters 💘#mikey x reader #izana x reader #tw. dark content #chapter discussions 🍓#chapter discussions 💞

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orshii · 7 months ago

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Will I Ever See You Again? CHAPTER 1: Last To Fall

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Warning: cursing, violence, blood

Word count: 4,6 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: Finallyy...the adventure starts everyone!! Yayy, I really hope you are going to like this whole rollercoaster, I really tried with this one. Please look forward to this story, as it has a really special place in my heart. Before reading, or while reading, please listen to WTF by Sasha Sloan, as it is included in the story. Okaay, enjoy!! hehet.

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 <3 (taglist is still open if you are interested)

I stepped onto the stage, darkness tightly hugging around me as I became one with it. I stood by the microphone, waiting for my bandmates to settle down. They nodded once they were ready and the lights suddenly blinded me as everyone could see us now. I felt vulnerable for a second, but when Yeosang, my best friend, started playing the acoustic guitar as he gave me a reassuring look, I finally got the courage to start singing.

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time seeing the point to existing ♪

My vocals resounded around the enclosed space as Yeosang accompanied me with his guitar, representative of our real-life connection. He has always followed after me, guiding me, holding my hand if I needed a little extra support.

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time

Seeing the good in the chaos ♪

And then Jongho joined in with the drums that sounded like thunder, followed by San, who was our bass guitarist. I looked over to him as I sang, our gazes connecting as he smiled at me, telling me everything was alright with his soft eyes. These boys gave me the strength I needed to step out in front of the world and sing about my feelings.

♪ Am I the only one losing my mind?

What the fuck am I doing here? ♪

It was weird singing about my feelings right in front of so many strangers, who came to the pub either to get laid or just have some fun. The thing is, that I feel more comfortable singing in front of people who I don't know, because I know they won't judge me. They are only here to enjoy themselves, listen to my singing, which is more like background music to them after a certain amount of alcohol has made it inside their systems, however, sometimes they would sympathize with the lyrics, I could easily see it in their eyes.

♪ Stuck in a one-man circus

Trying to find some purpose

But it’s unclear ♪

Singing, was the only thing that kept me going after all the bad things that have happened in my life. I could escape my feelings like this, letting them out into the world. This was the only time when I allowed people to see the real me, my real feelings, because the second the music was over and people cheered, my mask was back on and my emotionless self was back again, showing no interest in anything at all. I was back to the state of not feeling, of being a robot who had to just simply survive. Days mushed into one, monotone and repetitive, there was no fun in being alive anymore. But still, something kept me going, something kept me alive, and I wasn't allowed to leave, yet.

I had nobody except my brother, Yunho, whom I love the most, and my only purpose in life is to make his easier, so he doesn't have to suffer like me. We went through tough times together, and we had to stick to each other in order to survive. I have always tried my best, and I still do everything I can to support him.

Speaking of him, I have to be at his boxing match in ten minutes. I quickly hurried backstage, where my bandmates were and hugged them tightly. I was happy to see them, and grateful that they were doing this with me. We have created our band just for fun, no serious intentions were put into it, however, we got an opportunity to perform some nights at a pub called, MIST. We asked the owner a few times to let us play, and in the end he allowed it. I guess it was an escape for all of us. An escape from a cruel world in which we couldn’t truly be ourselves.

I ran towards my car with Yeosang trying to keep up so that we wouldn't be late to the match.

"Are you okay?" Yeosang asked me as I drove off fast once we were seated inside the car. I really didn't want to be late.

"Yeah, of course." I briefly glanced at him. He saw how tired I was, so he was worried. I haven't slept well at least in the past three years, so my face kinda always looked like. Some people may think I was a living zombie, so I get it.

"You sang beautifully tonight." He smiled at me proudly.

I felt the urge to smile back at him, "Thank you, for being there for me too." I didn’t look at him, but I knew he was still smiling.

"I had no choice, I was the one playing the guitar." Yeosang teased with a chuckle.

"Mhm, so I am forcing you to play now?" I gave him a quick side glance.

"No, no." He put his hand on mine as it was on the gearstick, "I'm glad I can play alongside you, it's an honor, Milady." He grabbed my hand and gently pecked my knuckles.

I chuckled as after running a few traffic lights and avoiding traffic as best as I could, we finally arrived to the Boxing Club. A few people were still outside, smoking a cigarette or waiting for someone, so this meant that the match hadn't started yet. We went inside the building and there were already a lot of people sitting in the grandstands. The air was a bit cold in the big hall. Some people stood around the boxing ring while behind them there were seats available, our reserved ones being among them. We went over to find them as I could feel excitement overcoming my whole body. The atmosphere was full with anticipation as everyone was here to see some fist fighting between bulky and angry men. I had no idea what the rules of these boxing matches were, but when my brother was in there, I felt like if anyone tried to harm him, I was going to get inside that ring and punch the motherfucker until he’s passed out. But to my luck, Yunho was one of the best boxers here. He was tall and well-built, and he didn't have enemies in this little town that would come to challenge him. Everyone feared him.

And he rarely lost too. One of the few occasions when he did lose, was against his best friend, Kim Hongjoong. He was shorter than Yunho, but he was strong still, and since he was smaller, he had the advantage of being quicker as well, so, he outplayed Yunho. Even though Hongjoong lost one of his teeth that one time, he was still smiling proudly over his win. I had a feeling that Yunho maybe let him win.

Yunho and Hongjoong have been best friends since forever. Hongjoong was kind of part of our family at this point as he had lost his own family in a car accident, and my father was there for him, together with Yunho, trying to breathe life into Hongjoong again. After a while, my dad started taking care of Hongjoong as if he were his own son, and one day I woke up to him suddenly living with us. Yunho and Hongjoong were like brothers and I was so envious of their relationship, because Yunho never told me anything, he never told me what he was feeling, he pushed me away, only letting Hongjoong in. I hated it, I hated that I was left alone, alone with my thoughts, with my feelings, after our father died. It was tough for everyone; the three of us were left without a parental figure for good now. Everything just seemed so suspicious to me, I didn’t know anything about how my father died, about what happened to him. Yunho and I were alone now, but he had another sibling to grieve with and I had to stay strong, alone. It was the three of us, yet they pushed me away like I was some stray cat, unworthy of their time and attention anymore.

I looked over at Yeosang, and I smiled as he sat next to me, looking around with big puppy eyes, taking in the atmosphere. Suddenly, I felt the urge to hug him. He was by my side from the second we met last year, when we bumped into each other as both of us were trying to find our next class, realizing in the process that we both were music majors. From then on, we did everything together. He kind of brought me back to life, he was a real sunshine in my life as his blonde hair lightened his beautiful face with a glow always to it, his birthmark under his left eye making him look even more ethereal. I have always admired him, and felt lucky that I had bumped into him. So, I hugged him, hiding my face in his neck, his scent enveloping me, offering me peace. He smelled like orchids, that's why my favorite flowers were orchids.

He chuckled, "Okay, you’re acting strange, Y/N. Are you sick?" He pressed his palm against my forehead, checking if I had a fever.

I smiled, "No, I’m not. I just wanted to hug my best friend, is that such a bad thing now?" I moved closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet.

"You never hug me, sorry, but it is strange." He looked down at me, smiling.

"I know…that's why I'm doing it now, because I'm glad you’re here, with me." It was rare that I expressed how I felt, I wasn’t the type to vocalize my thoughts so easily.

"Yeah, me too." He hugged me tight and warmly. I felt safe in his arms, never wanting to let go of him.

After we killed the time by goofing around, finally the match started and we were waiting for my brother to appear in the ring, so that we could cheer for him. Kim Hongjoong was the first to compete against a big guy, so buffed up that I was kind of worried he would break Hongjoong into pieces. Both participants prepared for the fight, and when it started, Hongjoong looked like a little bunny next to the big man. However, Hongjoong never failed to surprise me with his strength as he attacked his big opponent with two perfectly timed strikes. The guy had no choice at all, Hongjoong didn’t even give him time to try and attack him. The man just blinked, and then he was on the floor. The crowd cheered for Hongjoong as he fist bumped the air as he celebrated his quick win with the crowd.

After Hongjoong, more men fought inside the ring and it was becoming boring. They were playing the cat and mouse game, but finally one of them punched the other one and he was knocked out so hard that the ambulance had to be called. Nothing too unusual.

Finally, Yunho appeared inside the ring with a confident smile, his opponent being Song Mingi, his other best friend. They had a very interesting dynamic, always glued together, they acted like I imagine soulmates would. I have always adored their friendship; it was unbreakable and full of respect. I really wouldn’t be surprised if one day they announced they were in love, really, I wasn’t blind, I could see the tension between them. I could see the way Yunho looked at Mingi, his eyes having a particular glint in them as if Mingi was his whole world, Yunho always only saw him. Yunho not only had Hongjoong by his side, but Song Mingi as well.

It was shitty when you had to compete against your best friend, but, may the better man win. They were standing in front of each other, both tall, but their bodies shaped differently. Mingi was always quick to dodge the strikes, but Yunho was merciless, and he never stopped. The crowd went silent as the thick tension between them made everyone shut up and follow their match on the edge of their seats. I knew Yunho well, and I was sure he did not care about the fact that he was going to kick his best friend’s ass in no time, because he only wanted to win. He was addicted to the rush he felt when winning. May you be lucky enough to never encounter Yunho after a match he lost, his rage scary and dangerous. I saw how Yunho and Mingi murmured to each other, something only they could. Mingi seemed a little off today, like he wanted to be anywhere, but here. Yunho, on the other hand, continued smiling confidently and quite smugly, not even noticing the expression on Mingi’s face, which seemed to be screaming that he didn’t want to fight against his best friend.

Yunho was the first to attempt strike against Mingi, and he hit him straight in his ribs. After a few more tricks and moves, all we could see was Mingi trying to hit Yunho, but my brother dodged all of his poor attempts. Mingi seemed to have loosened up a bit as a smile appeared on his face. Suddenly, they smiled at each other, it seemed like a friendly match between the two, until it wasn’t anymore, until Yunho suddenly managed to strike some counter kicks and hits at Mingi and he was on the floor, his mouth bleeding. Mingi looked mad, disappointment showing on his face. But he suddenly got up and hit Yunho straight in the face. Yunho was taken aback, so he couldn’t fight back for a moment, and Mingi managed to hit him once or twice. But Yunho was the type to never give up, even if he had only one unbroken bone. The crowd around us suddenly roared with such loudness I wanted to cover my ears, especially when they cheered because my brother got hit, I didn’t like that. But Yunho suddenly got the strength to hit back, and that was Mingi’s last chance. He was on the floor after getting showed against the iron bars aggressively and roughly, now barely able to move from the pain. I felt sorry for Mingi. Yunho was so blinded by the rush of adrenaline he got, that he didn’t even realize that his best friend was on the ground, bleeding, because of him. This side of Yunho had always scared me, I didn’t recognize him when he was like this. And I was sure Mingi was fighting his inner demons as well, trying to understand Yunho somehow. In the end, the referee raised Yunho’s arm into the air, announcing he had won against his best friend, who had stormed off angrily towards the changing room.

A few more matches passed, and then in the next one Hongjoong lost against a guy who seemed to know every calculated move of his. The guy easily dodged Hongjoong’s attempts, and quickly gave a few strikes back, straight into Hongjoong’s face and ribs. Hongjoong was breathing quickly, and my heart started to race. I was a bit worried for him as the guy tried to hit him again, but he dodged it, and punched the guy’s solar plexus. The guy fell to the ground, but it seemed he was a tough guy, and he got angry as I watched Hongjoong tell him something. That was when the guy moved forward quickly and stroke Hongjoong in the ribs with force, immediately making Hongjoong pass out. The crowd stood up at once, myself included, as Yeosang followed with a gasp, all of us shocked as we couldn’t believe the fucker knocked Hongjoong out.. The referee announced the guy as the winner, and finally, Hongjoong slowly opened his eyes, barely moving as someone helped him out of the ring. So, Hongjoong was out of the competition. After that, Yunho had a few more fights, Mingi as well, but in the end, Yunho was announced as the number one winner of the night.

When the matches were finally over and the crowd started to slowly disperse, I waited for Yunho so I could congratulate him. Yeosang had already left as he needed to go home for some unknown reason to me. I was near the ring, but nobody was in the room as I read briefly over the history of boxing displayed on the walls. There were a pair of old boxing gloves on a shelf and I took it into my hands, wanting a closer look.

"Wanna learn?" A sudden voice from behind made me jump a little.

I turned around and saw Hongjoong coming my way, freshly showered, wearing a black tank top that tightened around his upper body perfectly, paired with black sweatpants. He had some fresh bleeding cuts on his eyebrows and lips, his two-colored, black and blonde hair was still wet, falling into his eyes. The colors of his hair kind of represented his personality. I knew he had a bright side that he only allowed Yunho to see, and whom he felt close with. And he had a dark side, which I have known from the beginning as he was always unnecessarily protective and mean with everyone. He had a really bad reputation, and he was a bad influence on Yunho. That’s why I hated him as he made Yunho become part of some dangerous gang, the two doing some illegal shit together. These things never ended well…

"Not really." I shrugged, and placed the old gloves back in their spot.

"Come, I'll teach you some tricks. It may come in handy, and who knows, you may have to knock out some bastards." He said, motioning with his hands to follow him as he jumped up into the ring.

"When is Yunho coming?" I asked, looking up at him.

"In a few minutes. He is currently yelling at Mingi, so until they finally figure their shit out, come." He reached his hand out towards me, so that he could pull me up beside himself.

I sighed, and with a frown grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull me up. I suddenly felt worried about Yunho, I didn’t want him to fuck up whatever had been lately happening between him and Mingi. On the other hand, I didn't understand why Hongjoong was suddenly acting like this. We were never really on good terms, but we also weren't on bad terms. It was always as if the other wasn’t there, like we grazed past the other. Most of times, it was Hongjoong doing this, so, after a while, I started doing the same. And yes, I started hating him as well, because I felt jealous of him stealing my brother away from me.

I put the gloves on Hongjoong handed me. It was a weird feeling, but if I’m being honest, I would gladly punch him in the face with these gloves on or off. Preferably off, would feel more real.

"Can I punch you?" I blurted out without thinking much.

"No? Why would you?” He looked at me with a frown, “Wasn't it enough when that other guy just knocked me out like I was nothing but a feather?"

"No, it wasn't. I want to be the one to knock you out." I tried to scare him as I hit the air in front of his face.

"Okay, okay, chill out, sugar." He grabbed my wrists, "You'll have another chance to take me out, but it’s not now." He said with a smirk, and I scoffed at the realization of how he meant it. Hell, no. I wanted to punch that smirk off of his face.

He started explaining how to hit someone in the solar plexus so that you knock them out immediately. I could practice as he held his palms up. I held my right hand in front of my face, because like he said, one hand must be there to protect your face. With my other hand, I punched his palm. Left-right, then right-right, and so on. After a few strikes he said that I could practice some more on his abs as he pulled his tank top up. I gulped seeing his toned abs, bruised with black and blue marks on his ribs.

“God, you are so bruised. I’m not merciless enough to hit you in this state, Hong.” I said, my eyes still on the cruel bruises.

“Don’t worry, sugar. You only need to hit my lower stomach now. Try and find my solar plexus, but you can’t hit me strong enough to knock me out.” He smiled confidently and took his lifted-up top between his teeth, his hands held up behind his head, waiting for me to strike.

Oh, so I couldn’t hit him strong enough? At first, I softly punched his stomach as he was watching me with eyes that made me feel like I was his prey and he’d pounce on me any minute now.

“C’mon, sugar. You can do better.” He said, taking the top out of his mouth just so he could talk to me.

“Fuck you.” I snapped, getting angrier. Suddenly, I struck him with all the strength I could muster up, aiming at his solar plexus only. It felt good. I started cackling loudly when I successfully hit him hard enough that he hunched over, trying to catch his stolen breath.

"Okay, okay, I think you've got this now." He raised his hands in the air in surrender, "But next time, you have to get it right away. It hurts, but it has to be the perfect timing if you want to knock the other one out."

He stepped closer, reaching his hands out, one settling on my lower back and the other on my lower stomach, "You have to hit right here, without missing." He said it in a low voice, whispering it into my ear, his warm breathing sent shivers down my body as it tickled my skin.

“Your strikes are good, but if I wasn’t an unmoving target, I could’ve knocked you out in seconds, your left-hand needs to be here.” He raised my left hand slowly to hold it in front my face, “You need to protect that pretty face of yours.” His face was emotionless, I couldn’t read his features.

“You couldn't protect your dumb face, from that guy who knocked you out.” I said, getting angrier.

He chuckled, “Okay, sugar, fair enough.” He stepped even closer, watching me with an unnerving hunger in his eyes.

“One last thing.” Slowly, he let his hands travel down to my inner thighs, close to my knees, and made me stand in a wider stance, “You need to stand balanced so that you can put all your power into your fists.”

Fuck this, I didn’t sign up for this. He really just touched me without asking for permission first, acting like he could do anything to me without it there being repercussions to his actions.

“Can you like, not touch me every time you try to explain something?” I snapped with a glare as I got more furious because of his actions.

Hongjoong looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I guess he didn’t even realize he made me feel uncomfortable. I was seconds away from recoiling and hitting him hard, showing him just how easily I could knock him out if I really wanted to, but suddenly Yunho was shouting at us.

"Hands off my sister, Joong!" Yunho approached the ring just as Hongjoong quickly jumped back, putting a great distance between our bodies.

"I just wanted to teach her some techniques she can use in the future." He raised his hands again in the air, genuineness showing on his face as he slowly walked near Yunho. Now he was acting like he was the hero and I was some damsel in distress needing his help, how funny.

"Let's hope she won’t have to use them, then." Yunho looked at Hongjoong with deadly eyes. This always happened when I was the subject of their conversation, they acted like I wasn’t even there, they talked about me like I was an object.

There was a stupid rule that Yunho had come up with, “My sister is off limits, if you try to touch her, I'll just simply kill you.” And this rule did work because no one really dared to even as much as look at me. I hated it because I never had the chance to have fun. Yunho was always there in the shadows, letting others know that, “If you touch her—well you know what happens.”

I have always felt like I was a princess held in a big tower, wanting to desperately escape...

"Let's drink something at MIST." Yunho said, sounding a bit angry and tired. He reached his hands out towards me, helping me off the platform.

"I thought you were coming home, that's why I waited for you." I jumped off the ring, accepting my brother’s help. It was alarming how cold I felt without Hongjoong by my side.

"I want to celebrate, come drink with us." Yunho looked at me through his dark eyelashes, his black hair still wet from the shower.

"Nah, I'm tired, I'll just go home." I said, rubbing my face as I fought against a yawn.

"Do you need a lift? Hong can take you home, I came by bike." He pointed at Hongjoong, who finally jumped off from the ring, ready to take me home.

"I came by my car, so I don't need a lift.” I said, looking at Hongjoong with a sharp glare, “Alright then, see you at home, don't get shitfaced." I turned around and walked towards the exit.

"Drive safely, and send me a message when you have arrived!" Yunho shouted after me.

I just lifted my thumb up in as a silent way of telling him okay, and left the building. The weather was a bit chilly this evening as I was headed towards my car, trying to find my keys in my backpack full of notebooks and torn out pages. As I was walking towards my car under the moonlight, my mind was whirling around with thoughts accompanied by an unfamiliar melody, that I have noticed I started making up lately very randomly. The words that came to me had the potential to be even some lyrics, but it wasn’t anything I have heard before. It was my own song.

≫ The feeling of being drowned in your thoughts,

Trying to find someone who’ll jump to save you. ≪

I have never wrote music before, I thought I wasn’t talented enough for that, but this melody that lately had been playing in my head made me want to write these random lyrics down, so that maybe I could create something special too one day..

I finally found the keys to my car, and I sat inside my black Honda Civic, igniting the engine to life. I suddenly felt hungry, so I decided to stop at a restaurant, called Granny's, on my way home to order some takeout. It was a fifteen-minute drive from where the boxing matches were held, and after I arrived, I went inside the restaurant and ordered some chicken wings with french fries. I patiently waited around a bit for my order to be finished, then I paid and said my goodbyes.

I was currently headed to my car, grabbing the keys from my pocket, food in my other hand, when suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I had no time to think as I suddenly found myself on the dirty ground. I hadn't even reached my car, it was blocked by two tall figures dressed in all black, and as I looked behind myself, I saw two other men staring at me like they were going to kill me right then and there.

A/N: Ty for reading, just one thing, if that Yungi fight scene caught your eyes (wink), my best friend @bvidzsoo, wrote a behind story for them on AO3, I recommend it is very good, I died.

「Series masterlist」 <Next part>

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meowzfordayz · 11 months ago

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they're-both-so-helpless

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~600

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

Author’s Note: starting 2024 off w/ Kyojuro❣️ Began writing this while at work… winter makes for slow days when selling ice cream. 😆 Pt 2 coming ~soon aka prob within the next 24 hrs since my shift’s almost over lol.

emphasis-on-helpless, helplessly-in-love

Missing your boyfriend is tough… especially when he isn’t actually your boyfriend.

“He might as well be!” Mitsuri says whenever she’s with you, “I swear you check your phone at least twice as often ever since you became friends.” The tips of your ears warm, eyes glued to the newest Snap of Kyojuro’s cheerful face. “Will you at least show me?” Mitsuri huffs, head tilting to catch a glance, “Aww, he’s so cute!” “But he’s not my boyfriend,” you mutter, quickly snapping a blurry photo of your melting ice cream. Eyes gleaming, Mitsuri hums knowingly, slinging a giddy arm around you without another word. You silently thank her gesture of respecting your privacy—something your other friend, Shinobu, rarely does—hurriedly eating a spoonful of your dessert as he snaps back: You got ice cream without me?! ☹️ I fear I am mortally wounded. 💔 You appease him with a Snap of your own frown, promising him i’ll bring u next time 🥺🍦 pointedly ignoring Mitsuri’s smooching noises when Kyojuro fires back with It’s a date! 😁😋 Sooo maybe nobody respects your privacy.

You’ve never considered yourself shy, but you have resigned yourself to being perpetually friendzoned, a bit too person-next-door in a would-never-date-their-neighbor way rather than a person-next-door who also is-totally-down-to-date-their-handsome-neighbor way. Like puffing out your chest while walking on the sidewalk to convey confidence and get people out of your path, you’ve mastered the art of giving off don’t-fuck-with-me vibes — despite desperately wanting to fuck.

And therein lies the problem-not-actually-a-problem with one Rengoku Kyojuro. Also known as, Mitsuri’s favorite barista. Also known as, immediately flirted with you when Mitsuri finally took you to his cafe for brunch, writing his number on your cup and everything. Also known as, might not have been flirting with you and in fact was just being nice because he has yet to properly-not-jokingly ask you on a real-official-non-platonic date. You’ve survived a blustery autumn of pumpkin spice lattes and too many free muffins, persevered through a surprisingly snug winter of It’s my special recipe hot chocolates and ice skating with the gang (Mitsuri, Shinobu, Kyojuro, and his insufferable friend Tengen), and felt wistfully hopeful as spring came and went, having your voice compared to blossoming flowers and your smile to tender sunshine… only to dream alone, his contagious grin and addictingly cozy hugs lingering even as you woke with the sensation of tears in your eyes.

—

“You should tell him how you feel!” Shinobu sighs, an exasperated, endeared sound as she watches you bemoan your adoration.

“Oh yeah, because he definitely feels the same after a year of literally zero signs!”

“He called your ice cream plans last week a date,” Mitsuri chimes in, rubbing your shoulders as she exchanges a they’re-both-so-helpless look with Shinobu.

“Platonically,” you shoot back, sagging into Mitsuri’s touch, “He’s so gentlemanly and sweet, I never know whether we’re flirting or he’s simply being polite! Friendly! A friend!”

“I repeat,” Shinobu deadpans, “Tell him how you feel.”

You pout, chewing on your upper lip as you mumble, “And if he doesn’t like me?”

“Nonsense!” Mitsuri declares brightly, squeezing you—Owww—a little too hard, “He doesn’t talk to anyone else like he talks to you.”

“I talk to you differently than I talk to Shinobu. Doesn’t mean anything,” you grumble.

“I’m trying to uplift you,” Mitsuri huffs, playfully pulling on your earlobe, “Trust us. Okay? He would absolutely date you if he knew you were interested in dating.”

“Since when have I said I’m not interested?!” you wail in dismay.

“You’ve never said you are interested,” Shinobu quips.

You scowl at her as she tosses a good natured pillow at you, Mitsuri clicking her tongue as you squish the pillow against your sternum, heart aching when your phone lights up Rengoku Kyojuro sent you a Snap • 🔥.

#kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #rengoku x reader #flame hashira #drabble #modern au #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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mothdruid · 1 year ago

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I Wish You Would

pairing. Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x afab!reader

word count. 3.3k

warnings. ANGST!!

author's note. this is for @laracrofted 1989 writing challenge. my song was I Wish You Would. and a special thanks goes out to @withahappyrefrain, @bobfloydsbabe, and @rae-gar-targaryen for letting me use your OC's as the bride and wedding dates for the daggers in this fic. well, here is some angsty angst for you all. also, the venue i'm writing about is a real place called The Farmhouse Siloam, and this is the dress I wrote the reader in.

The invitation had arrived earlier that year. It didn’t shock you that Jake was actually getting married, but having something tangible telling you was a little odd. Danica and Jake started off on an interesting foot. The way Jake had talked about her in secret wouldn’t have made it obvious, but once you all met Danica everything about the relationship made sense. She was the exact kind of woman that drove Jake crazy, in a good way. That’s one thing you and Bradley had always agreed on. That Hangman would hang the stars for his Venus, something you found out Bradley would have trouble doing for you.

The relationship hadn’t been terrible, honestly, it was the best relationship you had ever had. One that you thought about regularly, even though you continually told everyone you were over it. So, when Jake and Danica gave you the heads up that they were also inviting Bradley, you gave them questioning looks. Why would that even matter? It was their wedding anyways, they could invite whoever they wanted. It’s not like that final not was still something you thought about daily. But how would they had known that? They couldn’t have when you always told them the opposite.

Neither of you were bad people, but that night would have told anyone the opposite. Both of your words were laced with venom, neither one of you knowing how to convey your thoughts properly. It wasn’t like either of you, but things had gotten out of hand quick. One thing lead to another, escalating past the point of control.

An uneven breath passed your lips while you looked in the mirror. The dress you had picked was something simple. A two strap summery dress with a bustier built in. It was covered in a muted pastel floral print. Cielo and Abby had helped you pick it out. You bought it with the thought of being able to wear it again, and not to draw the attention of anyone specific.

Even though you and Bradley ended on poor terms, you still yearned for him. Almost two years later and you still wished for something. But you weren’t just hoping and wishing for him to reach out to you, you were also wishing you could have changed things. Wished you would have never hung up on him. Wished that maybe you wouldn’t have said the things you did. Wished that you would have swallowed your pride and reached out. Too many wishes, but it was all in the past and you couldn’t change it now.

All you could do now was face the day. Face the fact that you would be seeing him again. Face the emotions that were going to resurface.

You did a small twirl, calming your nerves in the process. If anything you could hide with Mickey, Cielo, Abby, Bob, and Reuben if things became too much. Or at least just Cielo and Abby. No matter what, you would survive. Ignoring the sensation tightening in your chest, you moved to the bathroom to finish your makeup.

Bradley stared at himself in the dressing room mirror, ignoring all of those who were fluttering around him. He had known about this day for a long time. Hell, he knew when Jake decided he was going to propose. Jake had immediately sent him and Javy a picture of the ring. Eager. That was all Bradley had thought about it. Bradley had a slightly pessimistic view on love now.

After his last relationship, he took a break from love. It was too painful, the only thing in the world that could hurt everyone. Even those whose walls were so high, heart so guarded. Those like Bradley.

Love had been the most damaging thing in Bradley’s life. The love for his father? Heart breaking. The love for his mother? Life altering. The love he had once felt for Maverick? Trust breaking. The love he had for you? World crumbling. It wasn’t worth it anymore in his mind. He had tried it multiple times, each time ending in pain.

The pain he had felt with you had been different though. It was a shared one, a pain he could tell that you were also experiencing. It wasn’t like when his dad just never returned home, or when his mom took her final breath in the hospital, or when Mav set him back. All of that had been one sided, him being the only one being hurt. But when he saw the tears roll down your cheeks, the way your chest heaved with each breath. That finally click he heard when you hung up. The ache in his chest as he stared at the phone, deciding not to call you back.

Yeah, you had been the one to hang up, but Bradley had been the one who did nothing. He didn’t do anything in that moment except let you slip through his fingers, like sand in an hour glass. He regretted it to this day. Knowing he should have at least reached out but didn’t. It was one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He finally popped his collar up then ran the tie for his suit around it.

He hadn’t been this dressed up, outside of his Navy regalia, in a long time. The last time he remembered was for your cousins wedding. A smile drifted to his lips, but only a small one, as he recalled the way you had tied his tie for him. Your face was so calm and focused, threading the material through the knot and tightening it up for him. His own hands followed the same pattern that yours once did. He was never able to capture it completely, but he always preferred how you had tied his ties.

“Crazy, huh?” Javy said while grabbing Bradley’s shoulder and pulling him close.

“That’s one word for it,” Bradley let out a little chuckle.

The two of them sat there for a moment, silence over taking them. Javy's bright smile faded a little when he met Bradley’s gaze in the mirror. Javy wasn’t oblivious to what today meant for Bradley, Jake neither. Jake had told Bradley immediately when Danica sent out invitations. Bradley was happy you would be there, seeing the union of two amazing friends. But he couldn’t ignore the anxiety festering in his chest.

“If you need anything, just ask man.”

“Thanks.”

Throughout the entire ceremony you had fought the urge to throw up. Which now lead to you in the bathroom, waiting for your nausea to calm down. It was the worst symptom of anxiety you got, that and the tightness in your chest. You didn’t think that seeing Bradley would do this to you. You had been preparing and hyping yourself up all morning, only for him to crack it all with one look. A look he didn’t even return.

You moved to the sink, looking at yourself in the mirror. That’s when you noticed something that you didn’t catch prior. Well, you had ‘caught’ it, but didn’t realize the full extent of your choice in lipstick. It was Bradley’s favorite shade. It was a soft neutral, one you wore cause it went with everything. Bradley had loved it because, “It just makes you glow”, or at least that was what he had told you. Your fingertips almost brushed your lips, but you stopped yourself and simple smiled.

The reception was gorgeous, the entire thing had been gorgeous. It was an outdoor venue, a boho-esque farm house that had been transitioned into a wedding venue. People were swarming everywhere, waiting to the newly weds and wedding party to show up for things to officially start. You made your way up the steps of the outdoor pavilion, looking around only to find familiar faces staring back at you. Danica and Jake had been kind enough to put all their good friends at the same table. Bob and Mickey both noticed you at the same time, alerting everyone else at the table of your presence.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Reuben said as he stood to pull your chair out for you.

“As if I wouldn’t miss this,” you replied while sitting down.

“That’s right, can’t stay away from us,” Mickey said with a big grin.

The night had moved fast. Dinner had been an event, Javy making his way over to your guys table to greet everyone. Jake and Danica eventually came over too, only after making sure to say hello to all the extended family, which Mickey was claiming you all were a part of. You, Cielo, Abby, and Natasha had talked about the struggles of finding the perfect guest dresses. Bob chiming in to say that you all looked phenomenal, only to turn red when you all complimented him back while Abby pressed a kiss to his cheek. The only person that was missing from your group was Bradley.

Your anxiety about the situation had subsided when the wedding party walked in. Bradley had actually looked at you, even gave you a small smile. The butterflies you had felt weren’t brand new, but they weren’t something you had felt in a long time. They were a regular thing Bradley used to give you, no matter how comfortable you had become with him. Butterflies on your one year anniversary, two year, and even three year.

Your gazes didn’t stop meeting throughout the entirety of dinner. He calmly sat at the wedding party table, disappearing at some point. The thought about finding him had crossed your mind, but you decided to stay seated, a small amount of anxiety winning that battle. It was a good thing though, the first dance starting only a few minutes after you made the decision.

All of you sat there mesmerized by the gorgeous couple dancing. They looked so seamless together, making your heart swell with fondness for the both of them. After the first dance was the dances they had with their parents. Danica with her father, Jake with his mother. All of it, everything was making something inside of you sad. Not for the people around you, but for the fact that you could have had this.

The night continued though. About forty-five minutes had passed since the music and dancing had started. You were sitting at your assigned table while sipping your wine. It had been your second glass. Even though you wanted to get really drunk, you decided not to. It wasn’t the time nor place, and seeing Bradley didn’t fully constitute it. But there was a still a part of you, one that was becoming a little overwhelming, was yearning for him.

A slow song had started to play, many people dispersing from the dance floor. It wasn’t the first slow song and it wouldn’t be that last. During the first slow song, Reuben had asked if you wanted to dance at one point after seeing the saddened look on your face. You had politely declined though, and Reuben confirmed that he understood. The two of you instead had sat at the table and watched all the varying couples on the floor. Jake and Danica, Javy and Natasha, Bob and Abby, Mickey and Cielo. The first time you didn’t take notice to Bradley’s presence, trying to ignore the silent plea inside of you.

Your heart was screaming at you, telling you to just walk over. It was wishing that you would simply go up and talk to him. Wishing that he would come talk to you. Wishing for so much that would probably never happen.

But this time you did notice his presence.

That’s because he wasn’t there, completely absent from the pavilion.

The day was going better than Bradley had anticipated.

So what if his chest was filled to the brim with regret and anxiety. He could get over that. What he couldn’t get over was how beautiful everything was. The venue looked like something from out of a movie, Danica truly looked like Venus, and it was perfect. Including you. Before he even walked down the dirt path they called the aisle, his eyes were locked on you.

How could they not be?

After countless days and nights he had spent with you. The very image of you was seared into his soul, being able to immediately pick you out before even seeing your face. You looked as beautiful as ever. It made his heart race, now being faced with the reality that he was only a mere twenty feet away from you. So, he made sure not to make eye contact throughout the entire ceremony. It was harder than he thought it would be. All he wanted to do was look at you, but he forced himself not to.

That was until the reception started. When he walked up the steps of the pavilion his heart was hammering. The DJ announced his name and he walked through, eyes finally meeting yours. It was brief, but it was enough to make his mind spin. He immediately noticed the color of your lips. It was his color, the one he had always loved on you. The one that made you look radiant, complimenting you in all the best ways. It had always grabbed his attention. It wasn’t an extravagant color, but you made it extravagant.

And you continued to keep his attention all night. His eyes followed you, adverting away fast enough for you not to notice when you looked his direction. It was borderline painful watching you with all of his friends. They were your friends too, but the two of you hadn’t been around all of them at the same time in forever. Not actual forever, but that’s what it felt like to Bradley. More like a lifetime.

All he kept thinking was about how foolish he had been. Wishing all over again that he would have done just something. Called you back, sent a text, or simply just not disappear out of your life. But at the time he thought that was the best thing. Only after did he realize how dumb he actually had been. He had to leave the pavilion for a moment, getting fresh air to relieve himself. He returned only a few minutes later.

Then when Jake and Danica started the first dance he started to feel sick. If he would have been better, that could have been the two of you. He could have seen you in one of those gorgeous white gowns. All he saw when he pictured it was you as an ethereal being. This all had to be karma, finally coming around to bite him in the ass. And it didn’t stop either. Watching everyone take their partner, arms wrapped lovingly around them.

Watching how Bob softly moved a stray strand of hair from Abby’s face. The bright smile that Mickey brought to Cielo. Even the way Natasha was laughing at Javy's dumb jokes. He wished that he could have been like that with you. Whisking you around the floor, whispering in your ear about how lucky he was to have you. But it was simply a wish, nothing more.

So Bradley left.

He didn’t want to sit with the regret and pain anymore. The memories of how foolish he had been to let you slip through his hands. He made his way out of the pavilion, dress shoes hitting the grass quickly as he walked a little bit away from the pavilion. Warm deep breaths filled his lungs as he stared out at the sky. Hues of orange and pink were starting to blend in with the clouds.

Not even a minute later did he hear someone coming down the pavilion steps. He waited for a moment, hoping he would hear the steps hit the stone path, but they didn’t. The small sound of shifting grass was creeping closer to him, making hm let out a sigh. He was whole heartedly expecting to see Javy, maybe even Nat in tow. But when he turned around he was much more surprised.

“Hi,” you said barely above a whisper.

“I.. Hi,” Bradley greeted back.

The two of you stood there for a moment, staring at one another. Bradley’s eyes had brightened, a soft smile pulling at his lips. Which you mimicked, offering your own small smile at him. Neither of you knew exactly what to say. It didn’t feel awkward, but it wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable either. You looked up, seeing the gorgeous colors of the sky. Bradley looked up to see a little more pink had settled in the sky.

“It’s beautiful,” you said.

“It really is,” Bradley replied.

There were a few beats of silence before you spoke again.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” you didn’t look at him, keeping your gaze towards the sky.

Bradley looked at you though, wondering why you would ask that question. You had never bothered him ever, he just sucked at showing how much he cared about you. Sucked so much he couldn’t even properly show it to you.

“You never have,” Bradley decided it was a now or never thing.

You looked at him, raising an eyebrow to act like you had no idea what he was implying. A breathy half laugh passed your lips as you stared at him now. You waited for a moment, hoping he might retract it or something. That never came though, so you dropped the slightly confused expression from your face.

“Bradley, I didn’t mean it like that,” your smile was gone now.

Bradley nodded, “I know, but there was a lot I wanted to say and never did.”

Those bubbles of anxiety were floating back into your chest, threatening to pop at any moment. But there were things that you had never said either. It was now or never, say your peace or forever hold it.

“There’s a lot I never said either,” you started to fiddle with your hands, a nervous habit you had always had.

“First, I want to say I’m sorry, genuinely,” Bradley’s eyes were sincere as he spoke, “you didn’t deserve anything that happened or that I said. I was stupid then, the emotionally capacity of a peanut.” You both let out a chuckle after that one. “And I don’t expect everything to be magically okay, but I just wanted to apologize and say”, he paused briefly, “that I miss you.”

It felt like your heart had broken into two. Everything you had ever seen in the media was telling you to ditch him, tell him to fuck off. But you couldn’t, because you completely understood what he was saying. You felt the exact same way. Ever since he left it was like you were missing something, double checking every time you left your apartment.

“Bradley, I’m miss you too,” you grabbed his hand as you spoke.

His hand encapsulated yours. The warmth was something familiar yet distant. He had always ran a bit warmer than you, something you had always appreciated. A soft smile appeared on his face once more. He rubbed his thumb lightly on the back of your hand. Neither of you were sure how much time had truly passed since you found him, but another slow song started to play in the distance. Bradley let out a small huff that caught your attention.

“What?” You asked.

“I just… I’ve been meaning to ask you all night,” Bradley started, “would you like to dance?”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

The two of you stayed there in the grass. Bradley kept you close to him, hands resting on your waist. You rested your head on his chest while your arms where wrapped around his neck. It was peaceful, anxiety melting off the both of you. It wasn’t completely perfect, but it was something the both of you had wished for.

#1989tgm #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw angst #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster fanfic

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whitelionspirit · 1 year ago

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Been a minute but some thoughts about linguistics reader! In bayverse.

You met Optimus and the others during the beginning stages of working with NEST. While young you were one of the more skilled people in their arsenal as you took special interest in the ancient language that is Cybertronian.

Being the only human who could decode and understand the language you became crucial in communication with the Autobots as you gain the attention of Optimus who was very interested in your work and your grasp on understanding their language to any capacity.

As a being who cared deeply for history and science youboth got along swimmingly. It baffled everyone especially your superiors but they decided to use it to their advantage.

Over the course of the years working together the two of you developed a deep bond. One that was ripped away when the world turned on your friends.

It broke something inside of you when you thought they had been killed when forced to leave your planet.

Even when you found out they survived everything quickly changed and everyone had to flee. They tried to contain you to use you as a bargaining chip for Optimus but you were thankfully saved by Ratchet.

It put a target on everyone’s back and you soon found yourself being forcefully separated from the people who were your family.

For three years you were on the run constantly hiding until they finally caught up with you. Taken back to Chicago you were forced to work and be used as bait for Autobots.

It disgusted and devastated you to see humans experiment on Cybertronians as if they were just heaps of metal to dissect and create weapons from.

The day you were rescued was chaotic you were nearly fired on as you ran for safety in the lab. If you hadn’t been grabbed by Joshua and presented as a prized horse in front of the Autobots you probably would have tried to escape in the chaos.

You defended yourself explaining they had kidnapped you and forced you to do this.

They were shocked to say the least and from the look on Optimus’ face you felt the last of your already broken heart shatter. His last reigning hope had been soiled.

Even after leaving for whatever reason despite everything Hound scooped you up and carried you away from that hell of a place.

No one said a thing until you reunited with Bumblebee and the humans that they were protecting.

You nearly burst into tears at the sight of the yellow mech.

The talks of leaving and the revelation of Galvatron shocked even you. The questions turned to you to ask what you knew of this. You knew nothing and said so.

When Lockdown suddenly appeared you did your best to stay out of the way but got caught up in the fighting.

You and Tessa were taken aboard the ship. You tried to be a distraction for Tessa so she could get away as Lockdown spotted you and were forced from the car you had hidden in. He called you a rare prize indeed a human with the knowledge and history of Cybertron imbedded into your mind. Favored by the leader of the Autobots.

He tossed you into a cage near Optimus as if to taunt you both.

You didn’t speak at first but eventually you did not being able to bare the silence any longer.

“I’m sorry about the others. I didn’t want to help them but they forced me I didn’t know where you were but they knew just using me would attract them out of hiding.”

He was silent for a long time and it made you hate yourself more.

“It is not your fault my spark.”

The last of your sanity burst at his words as you began sobbing uncontrollably.

#transformers x reader #might add to this later #optimus prime x reader #op x twin flame reader #can be seen as romantic as different from tfp universe #bayverse x reader

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ineffable-opinions · 5 months ago

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BL “Censorship” & Commercialization

Content: 1. ubiquitous censorship - special focus on Japanese BL 2. commercial viability of live action BL & generalizations 3. solutions - special focus on state support of Thai BL

Censorship is a sensitive topic. I have tried my best. Please feel free to comment and critique.

History of Korean BL is one of censorship and commercialization and Korean fu-people has struggled against both. There have been different victors at different points in time. Aljosa Puzar’s "BL"(Boy Love), "GL"(Girl Love) and Female Communities of Practice and Affect in South Korea chronicles that struggle. (Highly recommended.)

I have tried to problematize BL commercialization before. But that was in the context of fu-culture and the commodity fetishism associated with the consumption of BL, particularly in live action form which is probably its most capitalist rendition for many many reasons.

Here I would like to look at it from another angle: censorship. This is a continuation of my earlier post (Why so many shonen ai live-action?) motivated by the live action adaptation of ‘조폭인 내가 고등학생이 되었습니다’ (I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student) by 호롤 (Ho Rol).

The live action has jumped genres switching from BL to 판타스틱 휴먼 드라마 (lit. fantasy human drama). This switch got it tagged as ‘Censored Adaptation of Same-sex Original Work’ on My Drama List. I personally don’t like that tag. Almost all BL adaptation is a censored adaptation, with notable exceptions like Sei no Gekiyaku. But no one uses that tag for, say, 25 Ji, Akasaka de (2024) which censored all sexual content, especially from the volume 1 of the manga which was critical to the story and the couple’s development in the original manga series’ and its multiple adaptations’ popularity. Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (2024) went as far as removing the more sexual second couple from the live action adaptation all together, yet it does not get a "censored" tag.

An interesting question that the controversy surrounding High School Return of a Gangster (2024) has sparked is that of BL media’s commercial viability, especially in live action form. Here’s what producers told the Korean newspaper, Hankook Ilbo, about the genre-jumping:

"BL 장르는 제작비 투자나 리쿱(제작비 회수)에 한계가 있는 게 사실이다. 그러다 보니 처음부터 이 작품은 브로맨스로 해보고 싶었다"

“The BL genre is limited in terms of investment in production costs and recoup (recovery of production costs). So, from the beginning, we planned it as a bromance (beulomaenseu).”

The author of this article cites examples of works that enjoyed success on OTT platforms, namely Watcha’s Semantic Error and TVing's Unintentional Love Story (2023). However, the article also highlights the fact that BL continues to be a niche genre and live action adaptations don’t guarantee success.

이성택 (Lee Seong Taek), the director of High School Return of a Gangster, previously directed the BL Love Class (2022). The producer 넘버쓰리픽쳐스 (Number Three Pictures Co., Ltd.) have BL works like Unintentional Love Story under its belt.

'Unintentional Love Story' Director Jang Eui-soon (장의순) | source

If the producer of one of the two most popular live action BL is admitting to it, then it is not easy to dismiss the issue of commercial viability of live action BL.

Very famous BL publishing houses (starting with JUNE) and hosting platforms with relatively lower expenses have struggled. Some of them are no more. It is also difficult for authors to survive merely on earnings from publishing houses and hosting platforms, especially when those platforms are not very rich. So, it is not difficult to imagine that live action production houses also struggle to survive.

Take GMMTV for example. They are probably one of the most successful BL producers. According to their managing director, BL content (series) is not a profitable business in itself. They rely on khujin (branded pairs) of actors to bring in advertisement revenue, merchandize sales, and pull crowds to concerts and fan-meets. It is not enough for actors to just act. They are expected to sing, dance and perform. Meanwhile, GMMTV is forced to keep working with these actor pairs and stick to templates that suit them. While it works for now, it remains to be seen how long the business model can last.

Now there is also investment from Mainland China that has migrated to other BL producers following dangai ban. But those who invest already burned themselves pretty bad with all the money they poured in during the short-lived but explosive dangai boom. It is sunk cost at this point. Another crack down could be the death knell for Chinese investments in BL.

More generally, it is likely that commercial viability of a live action BL project hinges on the following:

#1 Target demographic

Like all other BL content, live action too is primarily targeted at fu-people (BL audience) – both queer and non-queer. The target demography is further sub-divided based on the type of BL and purchasing power.

Sweeter ones are supposed to appeal to all ages and that’s the area Thailand and GMMTV in particular are focused on. Most of Japanese BL series are sweet. Korea too produces sweet BL. However, they are unlikely to bring in explosive success the way odo BL (those following royal road narrative progression – wherein characters face significant challenges, interpersonal or otherwise, to reach happy ending).

Older and, perhaps more hard-core fans, are likely to support jado works (BL that follow the evil path where neither happy ending nor resolution to challenges are guaranteed) with surprising frequency. This might be partly due to the erotic content in jado works.

Purchasing power of BL fans vary widely. There are those who are

“sending gifts to their actors in Thailand, sending food trucks to their shooting locations, putting up billboard advertisements and doing charity events [as well as] ordering merchandise in bulk.”

They also travel to BL producing nations [on fan pilgrimages] and attend fan meetings, concerts and other events regularly.

(Source: The Print)

The other group of BL fans who are probably younger and/or can’t afford to show support in the above-mentioned ways. BL commercially benefits from being appealing to those with higher purchasing power.

#2 Popularity of original work in case of adaptation

Popular BL novels, manhwa, etc. bring in a set of fans who are interested in the live action. Longer and more-acclaimed works are likely to ensure success of the live action given decent making and reasonable changes during adaptation. Semantic Error is a case in point. However, missteps during adaptation can have the opposite effect.

#3 Cost of production

It is difficult to get investment in the first place, especially with how niche the genre is. Moreover, higher cost of production sets the bar for success higher too.

On the other hand, high production quality and better cast and crew (likely more expensive too) makes the viewing more pleasurable and increases the likelihood of success.

There are other factors which influence the success of BL producers. The most popular BL live action from China, Addicted, was produced by the author, Chai JiDan, with a tiny budget. Its dangai family drama remake, Stay with Me, also has an interesting producer.

Source | Mame with her Japanese fans

Orawan Vichayawannakul’s MeMindY is another BL author led production company that has enjoyed considerable success.

OP Pictures’ entry into BL genre has also been successful.

Solutions

#1 Let’s start with the worst

BL as money laundering vehicle. It is probably the most obvious, sort of win-win until it isn’t. Sustainability depends how much skin the ruling class have in the game.

#2 State sponsorship

(or better yet, tax payer supported BL production)

State sponsorship is what Thailand has perfected.

source | 2023 seminar on "Beyond Borders: Exploring the Global Appeal and Diversity of Thailand's Boys' Love Contents" by 9 companies from Thailand organized by Department of International Trade Promotion under Thailand’s Ministry of Trade.

The eleven speakers, including an official from the Office of Commercial Affairs, Royal Thai Embassy in Japan, vigorously pitched partnerships with Japanese content companies [at the above-mentioned seminar.]

Also, several of the companies pitching at the seminar, such as Star Hunter Entertainment […] were plumping for BL not as a niche product but rather a core element of their corporate strategy.

Halo Productions representative Tewarat Supunnium [trumpeted] the vertical integration of his company, from talent representation to contents distribution.

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Thai BL has been big hits in China, South Korea, Japan, India, Indonesia, the Philippines, and beyond, which has motivated Thailand’s government to ‘deploy Boys Love as its latest soft power weapon to promote the country on the global stage’. In an article published in The Nation, BL director, Bundit Sintanaparadee, explains how that affects production.

He pointed out that the international popularity of Thai shows can boost tourism and generate interest in the featured locations – a vital aspect of soft power. The government can facilitate this process by providing support and streamlining the bureaucratic obstacles to filming in attractive locations like Bangkok’s Chinatown district of Yaowarat.

Filming in iconic places such as Yaowarat can be costly and complicated due to the need to coordinate with multiple government agencies and pay location fees. Bundit said the government could simplify the process to benefit not just filmmakers but also tourist revenue in the locations.

Bundit also cautioned against a top-down approach to soft power, where the government dictates what represents Thailand on the world stage. He emphasises the need for industry professionals to have their say.

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In a 2022 article, Bangkok Post explores the impact of BL on Thailand’s economy ‘as export products that can draw lucrative revenue streams and foster business opportunities in other areas, including tourism.’

[According to government estimates from 2021,] Thailand's Y content market was worth more than 1 billion baht... In June that year, the Department of International Trade Promotion held an online Y content business matching event to boost the industry, with the participation of 10 Thai content creators. More than 360 million baht was generated from the purchase of the Thai content, with the top three buyers coming from Japan, Taiwan and Vietnam.

Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, GMMTV's senior director of content production, said [that the] business ecosystem linked to Y Series in Thailand shows a growth of 30-40% per year. [He also said that] Y Series can also be a boon for other businesses, such as films, artist management and merchandise. [He mentioned] Y Series from Thailand [getting] translated into several languages [and one of their Y Series having received theatrical adaptation in South Korea.]

[According to] Kanokporn Prachayaset, chief commercial officer and country manager of WeTV Thailand, … Y Series from Thailand is one of the most popular content genres on its platform. [Half of all the BL content on the platform was Thai.] WeTV [was] sourcing Y Series from Asia as well as having its own WeTV original shows by working with various local production houses, such as GMMTV, TV Thunder, Dee Hup House, M Choice Studio and All This Entertainment. [She also highlighted the contribution of the fan base, which is] active in organising activities and campaigns for their idols.

Seksan Sripraiwan, director of the Tourism Authority of Thailand's (TAT) Tokyo office, said the TAT and the Royal Thai Embassy have actively promoted the country by using Thai entertainment [and that] Thai BL content is considered one of the most popular recent cultural exports to Japan. Japan's market for Thai BL is around 1 million viewers, of which 20,000-30,000 are heavily active on social media sites for renowned BL actors, led by Bright-Win and Krist-Singto. He said Japanese tour operators already offered tailor-made tour packages which contain elements related to BL TV series, such as shooting locations like universities, cafes, Wat Arun or the Amphawa floating market.

Kanokkittika Kritwutikon, director of the TAT Chengdu office, said Thai BL TV shows have gained popularity in China, such as the coming-of-age series "I Told Sunset About You", which helped drive tourists to Phuket, the main location of the story.

"Most Chinese BL fans are millennial females who can offer long-term support for their favourite actors," Mrs Kanokkittika said. [Recognizing the 3 million strong queer population of Chongqing,] she said the LGBT segment could be categorised as luxury travellers as they are high-income earners, live in key cities, and want to spend more for travel experiences.

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Earlier this year Ministry of Commerce have partnered with Be On Cloud and Idol Factory to promote ‘Thai products, services, tourism, and culture by incorporating them seamlessly into’ their new series “Shine” and “Pin Phak” aka “The Loyal Pin” respectively.

“This will help create around 2 billion in value for Thailand’s economy,” said Commerce Minister Phumtham.

Deputy Prime Minister and Commerce Minister Phumtham Wechayachai and two actresses, Becky and Freen, witness the signing ceremony between the Ministry of Commerce and Idol Factory Co., Ltd. on February 28, 2024....

According to the Department of International Trade Promotion, the Thai movie and series sector and related industries will generate 8,000 million baht in exports by 2023. In 2024, it will likely reach 10,000 million baht, particularly in the Y-movie and Y-series, which are expected to expand in value from 1,000 million baht to 2,000 million baht as a result of the Ministry of Commerce’s proactive cooperation with the private sector.

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The Thai government’s efforts are paying off.

Oramon Sapthaweetham, director-general of the Department of Business Development, revealed that the Boys’ Love series had helped revitalise the film production industry, generating substantial profits and extending economic benefits to allied sectors, such as advertising, leveraging actors as influencers, event organisation, and tourism.

"Over the past 10 years, Thailand has produced over 177 Boys’ Love [series], continuously gaining popularity and expanding its customer base, eventually leading to exports to international markets," Oramon added.

The film production industry in Thailand is witnessing substantial growth. In the first four months of 2024, 56 new businesses were registered, marking a 12% increase from 2023. The total registered capital also saw a significant rise of 146.44% to 195.18 million baht. In 2023, the industry grew by 20% with 137 businesses and a capital of 258 million baht. The total revenue in 2022 was 12.895 billion baht, indicating a continuous growth trend.

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#3 Diversification

Ok, so this is based on my limited knowledge and imagination. Feel free to skip.

There are two production companies that I have ever been interested in - Bhavana Studios and Mammootty Kampany. Both of them have produced experimental Malayalam movies while managing to remain commercially successful. While is partially attributable to these companies being brands, I think their overall strategy of diversification have worked in their favour.

Mammootty Kampany could produce art-house movie Nanpakal Nerathu Mayakkam for award circuits and with no expectation of commercial performance by banking on their other production Kannur Squad which was action entertainer sure to bring in the big bucks. Their queer family drama Kaathal – The Core and neo-noir psychological thriller Rorschach did exceptionally well in the box office as well as garnered critical acclaim. Bhavana Studios has similar track record of their commercially successful projects kind of cross subsidizing their experimental and unique projects and lifting the heat off in case of flops.

Having production companies which are aspirational in their approach to BL while having the economics sorted out help where government support is not forth coming.

Censorship as No-thing

When sometime is truly censored, we wouldn’t know. Unless we ask. Here’s what Jooyin Saejang learned from asking.

Conclusion

I have a strong preference for live action adaptations that are willing to go the last mile in terms of sexual content, social critiques and addressing real-life issues. That’s the reason why the header image for this BL side blog is from Moothon (2019).

But realistically this isn’t always possible. And I prefer having more production companies offering variety. I don’t want them to sink under the weight of BL that didn’t do well commercially and me being left at the mercy of media conglomerates with seemingly bottomless funds and monopsony over BL authors, original works and the culture that creates them.

Also, there is queer content from Korean that is neither mainstream nor from fu-culture. Support those.

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