#chapter discussions 💞

[m-ilkiee]

"Within a span of one month, (name) (last name) has been physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually assaulted by two out of three Sano brothers because their egos couldn't handle being called out on their horrible treatment. Unfortunately for the poor woman, the mental strain took a toll on her and she attempted to take her life. She survived after desperate attempts to resucitate her and was rushed to a nearby hospital, where she was treated. One would think the Sano brothers would feel some form of guilt for pushing her towards the edge but no. In fact, this was just the beginning of the horrors (name) will experience in their hands." Layla's commentary podcast on chapter 1 and 2 of "Monsters"

Welcome to Monster's first ever poll! I have teased this since last month, but unfortunately, I haven't had the energy to do so. If you haven't read the last chapter, I'd advice you do so before we continue.

So, we've seen the two brothers in action. We've seen how manipulative Manjiro can be to bend the truth to fit his ideal and we've seen how cruel Izana can be, to make sure reader stays silent. With the two of them already made their move, the stage is set for the horrors yet to play out.

However, I am curious, the two of them went to such great lenghts to make reader miserable. Mikey gaslit Reader until she had no will to do anything and Izana reminded her of a past she would rather forget. Mikey broke her heart and Izana put cracks in her spirit, both different ways for the same goal, silence. so who do you think did was far worse and why?

(If you're too shy to comment or reblog your answers, my anons are wide open.)

(As I promised, I've decided to add something extra! Blind items! These are to add more context and shed more light on parts of the story I couldn't get in. Blind Items are submitted by an anoynmous side characters and if you can guess correctly who, I'll give you a special shout out in the next chapter!)

#1 Blind Item: Bruised Ego

"When reader came newly to school as freshman, the boss(Izana) had an actual interest in her. It even got to the point that he wanted to invite her to one of our parties to know her better. Unfortunately, he found out from (name)'s roommate whom he was hooking up with at that time, that (name) thought he was scary and preferred Mikey. This hurt him and made him want revenge to teach her a lesson. This is why he has all her past information at his finger tips, because he wanted to torment her since she unknowingly rejected his advances. He only paused because Emma later became friends with her and kept it in case. I know this because I travelled to (name)'s hometown to collect some of these information." - Submitted by an upper echelon in Tenjiku

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. V

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,342

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jk has milk obsession, oc injured, both lonely :(, mommy issues, lots of family drama/in-laws, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, jk being good hubby to oc

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: I've heard the requests and I think it's time to fulfill them–how did they get together?! Yes, it's here and I'm excited to finally share! Also, yes this took up whole chapter so a tiny break from present-day stuff but we'll be back at it next chapter. 💞

<< ch. IV ༓ ch. Vl >> | series masterlist

Before marrying you, Jungkook had the same routine. He got up, showered, brushed his teeth, put work clothes on, grabbed breakfast, and ran out the door with twenty minutes to spare. Trying to find a parking spot at 7 a.m. at the university was no joke and he had to leave early or some college kid would take the last spot and not think twice.

His night routine was similar. Jungkook finished the day between 5 and 6 pm, slowly regretting he ever agreed to teach evening classes. He’d kick off his shoes, eat dinner, grade some of his student’s papers if needed, brush his teeth again, and went to bed.

It was a constant cycle and with no one around, not even a pet, Jungkook’s life was fairly quiet and systematic. Sometimes his buddies would come over on the weekend for a couple of hours and that surely rocked his world.

But that wouldn’t happen often during the school season due to his ridiculously packed teaching schedule. The most recent person he’d hang around during those months was Taehyung and if he wasn’t free, Jungkook would spend his time at the grocery store–stocking up on milk.

4 years ago

“That was two weeks ago man,” Jungkook says, pushing a cart with five-gallon jugs of milk to his car. He’s on the phone with Taehyung who's reminiscing about the grand opening of the new art exhibit and how “lovely” it was to meet you there.

Jungkook doesn’t need reminding though.

He clearly remembers seeing you there and Taehyung happily making a complete fool of him once he found out who you were. Thankfully you hadn’t seemed to mind too much since you and Taehyung soon moved on to discuss various art theories, masterpieces, and underrepresented artists.

“You didn't have to stay y'know.” If Jungkook didn't know any better he'd think Taehyung was salty. "You could've left at 8 pm like you planned. __ and I would have been fine."

Jungkook winces hearing the man's argument. He did think about going home at 8, but it unsettled him to leave you alone with Taehyung. His colleague was enjoying himself a little too much that night and there’s no telling what he’d do or say when he’s overly comfortable.

Jungkook had to stay until you left.

"Are you kidding me? Leaving you unsupervised would've been the worst idea after all your endless blubbering." Jungkook pops the trunk of his car, stuffing the jugs of milk inside. "God knows what you'd scar __ with."

On the other line, Taehyung smirks through the speaker. "No, that's not it......you weren't going to leave me alone with a woman, an attractive one at that."

Jungkook grabs the last jug of milk, slamming it on the floorboard. "Student, and stop talking about her like that. She's my stu—"

"Say student one more time and I'm going to take all your milk and give it to Yoongi hyung's cats."

"I swear to god, Taehyung, if you touch my milk I'm never going to another art museum or wine tasting with you again." Jungkook is very protective of his dairy products.

"That's okay. I don't need you when __ says she'll be happy to go with me sometime." Smug bastard, Jungkook thinks. There's no way you said that.

"That's bull Taehy—"

"Look she's in her masters and is literally eight years younger than you. It's not that serious so stop acting like she's fresh out of high school. Besides, you said it yourself, she's not a child."

Jungkook grunts, shoving the cart into the others. "She's a young lady who happens to be enrolled in the school. As faculty, we have no business thinking or talking about her outside those terms."

"For fucksake, Kook. You always make things so complicated!" Taehyung's baritone voice cracks through the speaker. "I'm just trying to get you to admit that you're into her some way or another. How many other students have I stayed to talk to and you couldn't give a—"

Just then a loud, high-pitch screech interrupts the call. Jungkook whips his head around immediately. He doesn't spot anything at first but a string of profanities remains audible in the distance.

"Jungkook, are you okay?"

"Yeah, but someones screaming and I can't tell where it's coming from." Jungkook walks around the grocery parking lot, eyes darting left and right. "Oh shit!"

There, near the bus stop, you lay on your side with your right leg stretched out and blood running from your temple. You try getting up but you fall right back down, cursing sharply.

"Taehyung I gotta go, it's __. I don't know what happened but she's laying by the bus stop and I think she needs help!" Jungkook shuts his phone and races to where you lay. He kneels next to you with sheer horror on his face. "__, what happened? What can I do?"

"Damn college boys, Dr. Jeon," you spit, dragging your leg up as far as you can. You reach for your bag which had flung about a foot away when you crashed. "So fucking eager to get off the bus and—oh damn that hurts like a bitch!"

"What hurts?" Jungkook lunges forward to catch your torso from slamming on the hard concrete. "Stay still okay? We need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm all set, but thanks. It'll likely heal in a day."

Jungkook shakes his head and wraps an arm under your back and legs. "Can you put your arms around my neck?"

"Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but I don't want to go to the hospital. Please."

You're serious. No trace of bluffing or even simply trying to act tough. You really don't want to go.

"You need to be checked by a doctor sweetheart," Jungkook insists. "Whatever happened has made it so you can't walk. C'mon, my car is nearby and I'll drive you over."

"No, wait!" He feels you push against his chest.

"__. I'm not leaving you without making sure you didn't break a bone or something. I don't want to make things worse but you don't look so hot right now. So please, let me take you." Jungkook lifts you up when you give a barely consenting yes.

"You sprained your ankle pretty bad hun." Dr. Kim Seokjin draws your attention to the X-ray scan. "Second degree." He points to the visual of your partially torn ligament. "There's going to be a lot of swelling so you're gonna need to stay off your foot for at least 4 weeks."

"Do I have to stay here?" is your first question.

"For the first couple of weeks, we strongly advise—yes." Dr. Kim moves on to the next X-ray scan. "You also cracked a rib which will also take about 4 weeks to heal, or more. Of course you're head has suffered a mild concussion as well but it's very mild thankfully." Dr. Kim catches sight of Jungkook next to you, staring at the scans. "You're wife's going to be okay," he says mid-diagnoses.

"We're not—" you start to say but Dr. Kim continues talking.

"Wife, girlfriend, lover, what have you. The point is, much of what we have here will recover with a month of rest, ice, and elevation." He takes a pen from his pocket and starts jotting down something on paper. "I recommend two weeks here for moderation purposes. If things look good, you finish the healing at home. Still, be careful though, no funny business."

The blank looks on both your faces tell Dr. Kim he wasn't clear enough. "Yah, my filters going to die with you two doe-eyed deer. No funny business means no sex!"

"Oh god!" You outburst, mortified by the thought. Jungkook whips his head to your slack-jawed expression. "Dr. Kim, it's not like that between us."

The older man suddenly zeros in on your professor, eyes narrowing slightly. "What's the matter son? Having trouble getting it up?"

Jungkook jolts in his seat, startled by the crass response. "I—no, what? There's nothing wrong with my—"

"We're not together!" You shout before Jungkook's sentence finishes. "We're friends." Saying that your professor brought you here sounded a little odd for some reason, especially when Dr. Kim was already convinced you two were a thing.

"Mhm sure, heard the same thing from my wife before we went off and eloped." Dr. Kim treads to the door. If he has a dime for how many times he's heard that "we're friends" bs he'd be...well, he's already rich so never mind. "Let's move on to something more productive now, like getting __ settled in a room. The sooner she starts the healing process, the sooner she can be good as new again."

"Thank you Dr. Kim," Jungkook says, slowly standing up to stroll you and your wheelchair out of the room. You didn't like it but the nurses insisted you be in one to keep pressure off your muscles.

"Yeah yeah." Dr. Kim waves him off. "Just remember what I said, no funny business. Especially here at the hospital. You don't know how many times I've heard the nurses catching their patients on top of one another at 2 am in the morning. That better not be you two, whoever you are to each other."

"Yes, doctor." You both reply, thankful of the fact that neither of you are in any position to be looking at each other.

"Is there any way I can be here for less than two weeks?" Jungkook watches as you plead with the nurse. It worries him that you're still anxious to avoid medical attention.

"I'm afraid not," the nurse says simply. "If you need anything, press the call button and I'll be in as soon as I can."

Once the nurse leaves, Jungkook pulls up a chair next to your bed. "Stupid question but how are you feeling?"

"I'm in an ankle brace, my rib burns, and my head is still dizzy. I'm trapped in the hospital for two weeks and all because a bunch of nineteen-year-old boys couldn't wait to hit up some frat party," you groan, not bearing in mind your tongue. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this Dr. Jeon."

"You didn't drag me into anything __. I'm glad I was there when this happened and I'm even more glad that you're here, getting help." Jungkook clears his throat before continuing. "Even if it isn't ideal for you."

You ignore the subtle pry for information. "Please, Dr. Jeon. You don't have to stay any longer. It's the weekend and I'm sure you have plans."

Jungkook gives a faint smile. "So, you're saying this is none of my business?"

"No, not—not at all. I mean if you want to stay then I guess you can but I don't want you to feel obligated or anything."

"I want to be here," Jungkook says simply. "But you know that's not what I meant. I'd like to know why it bothers you when anyone tries to help you...if I may."

"Just habit," you mumble quickly, averting eye-contact. It's not your professor's job to bear the weight of your problems.

Jungkook nods in reply, pretending you gave a satisfactory explanation. He wishes you'd tell him but if you didn't want to share more then that was your choice —he wasn't going to force you. "I understand." He grabs his phone from his pocket and rests his elbows on his knees. "Are you hungry?"

"Huh?" You look back at him, his question going right over your head.

"I asked if you're hungry. It's about dinner time so I can get you something if you want. I also have a bunch of milk in my trunk that needs to get to a fridge. But I can place the order now and pick it up in my way back here."

"Milk in your trunk?" Is the only words you repeat, dumbfounded. "Like chocolate milk or...?"

"Nah, Whole Milk." Jungkook grins at your scrunched up face. You try to hide it but not very well. "Don't look so disgusted. Milk is good for you."

"Yeah when you're ten years old."

"On the contrary!" You flinch when his voice rises, along with his eyebrows. "Milk has a lot of health benefits as adults. It has thirteen essential nutrients and helps maintain muscle and bone strength. I drink at least two full glasses a day, if not more."

"I'm sorry but that's nasty." You shudder at the thought of drinking milk in your twenties let alone your thirties. "You really enjoy it? The taste?"

"Yup, always have since a baby! Loved it so much that my mother-" You raise an eyebrow to which he abruptly switches topics. "Anyway, do you want me to pick you up something or no?"

You giggle, a little uncomfortable with whatever he was about to disclose to you.

"That's okay, no thanks."

"You sure? Otherwise I'm gonna be eating in front of you." Jungkook knows how this sounds — he's trying to force you to eat. But the truth is, he just doesn't want to eat by himself tonight. He also doesn't want to leave you alone this early, especially when you obviously detest being here, for whatever reason.

"I'm sure," you say. "But...if you want to come back you can. Not like I have anything to do anyway."

"Good then." Pleased, Jungkook opens up his phone contacts. "Give me you're number in case you change your mind while I'm out."

Over the next couple of weeks, Jungkook continues to stay by your side. He leaves to teach his classes of course and to go home late at night, but he stops by every day—hours at a time.

You keep insisting that he not come so much but he always makes the same excuses. "I just brought food" or "You're on my way home from the university". Sometimes he brings in class notes too.

Due to your current predicament, you're missing a lot of content so Jungkook thinks it best to go over key principles with you and takeaways from his lectures. He says it's his duty as a professor–never minding the fact that many of his other students are in a predicament of their own yet he’s not bothering to do jack for them.

"Look Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but you really don't have to. I'll be perfectly alright to catch myself up from the textbook and study guides. You don't have to keep stopping by." You try again but Jungkook keeps his wall just as strong as yours.

"I know I don't have to __. I know that I could leave right now, take all these lecture notes home with me, and not feel guilty about a thing. But I told you I was going to be here and I'm going to keep to that no matter how many times you urge me to leave. I also want you to call me Jungkook outside class but have you allowed for any of those to happen?" Jungkook tosses the folder of notes in his sachel, a loud thump following. "A simple thank you would suffice."

"I am grateful, I really am. But I never asked to be given so much of your time. I feel bad because maybe you're just one of those overly nice people who feel it's their duty to stick around or what not when someone's in trouble. I don't need to be pitied over! Also, you said I could keep calling you the usual, so Dr. Jeon it will remain!" Why you're raising your voice, you don't know but it's happening either way.

"Yeah I did," Jungkook quips, matching your tone. "But after the last, nearly two weeks I think we ought to be on a first-name basis! And I'm in no way pitying you okay? I'm here because I care dammit! I don't want you to be alone and I don't want you to be behind in getting your Masters. So I' try to be be here every day for at least fifteen minutes if not more!"

You don't fully process what he says so you reply to what you remember most. "Why? Why can't I call you Dr. Jeon? It's been that way from the start, twice every week. So why do I need to call you Jungkook all a sudden?!"

"Because it makes me feel younger, you insulted my milk after I first took you to the hospital, we've been eating dinner almost every night since your injury, you told me about your childhood cat named Mr. Muttonbottom, and you just called me by my first name so there are no take backs! Now, if you're done making a fit, do you want bibimbap or jajangmyeon for dinner tonight?!"

What the actual hell? You cease your arguing at once, hearing your professor, or excuse you, Jungkook, all fluffed up. Obviously, you're not the only one high-strung over being stuck in the same routine day in, day out.

"Jajangmyeon...please," you mutter.

"Thank fuck," he swears. Yeah that's new too.

"Sorry for getting mad earlier." You mumble the words as soon as Jungkook returns with the food. "It just feels odd that you've been here all the time...you're my professor."

Jungkook mauls over your choice of words, stiffening ever so slightly. "Well, I'd like to think we're sorta friends now but alright. Does this actually bother you __? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know that." He places the bag of take-out on the small desk near your bed.

"No, it's doesn't bother me." you just don't know how to react or what to say besides a measly thank you. More so, you don't want to make someone feel responsible for you...you should take care of your own shit without bringing others with you. It's not the best mindset, you're aware, but its the one you have.

"Okay good because to be completely transparent, I'm sorta here for me too. I live my myself, eat by myself, talk to myself....I do most things alone so it's nice having someone else to be around." He's not sure where to set his eyes, so he looks downward, fumbling with the napkins in front of him. "I'm making this awkward, sorry."

Feeling the strange need to offer comfort, you stretch a hand over Jungkook's arm. "I get it. It's nice having someone around too."

You and Jungkook hold each other's gaze for a few seconds more, letting the brief silence do the rest of the talking. Maybe you've been looking at this a little too one-sided.

"How are you feeling today? Any better?" Jungkook cracks open the bowl of Jajangmyeon, handing it to you with a pair of chopsticks.

You take the steamy food and gesture to your ankle which has swollen down a good amount. "Still more healing to be done but it's better."

Jungkook hums in approval. "That's comforting to hear. Dr. Kim going to discharge you soon?"

"Yeah, I think so. A few more days and he said I should be able to rest up at home."

"Really?" He chews on his bottom lip. "Well great, uhm , do you have stuff going on when you get back?"

You think a moment, trying to recollect if you made plans with Na-Rae. "Maybe some but not much. I don't have a ton of people around me right now either...down here I mean."

"Well, do you wanna go out to dinner then?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected. It's almost like he planned this or at least has been thinking about it for a bit. "We've been eating together for a while now and I think it might be a nice celebratory thing."

"Are you asking me on a date...Jungkook?" Because it defiantly sounds like he is, as indirect as it may be.

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well...let's go with "hang out", like friends do."

A/N: so yeah, thats how they got together 👀😅 anyone surprised? Thinking about a drabble for thier first date now haha. Anyway, next chapter we get back to present day stuff where more drama goes down. Also, adding a chapter bc this flashback took the whole chapter lol. Lmk your thoughts 💞

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[paddockbunny]

Hello, can you do 17 and 46 from nsfw prompt list for lando norris. Please and thanks :)

Lando Norris and the buzzy little "friend"

Summary : A certain Mr Norris sets panic coursing through you as he asks to stay over for the first time. You agree but when he finds something in your drawer that makes you all kinds of embarrassed he suddenly is wide awake again....and horny. Very, very horny. Rating : 18+ Pairing : Lando Norris x Reader Word Count : 2, 366 Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, explicit language, female masturbation, male masturbation, orgasm discussion & use of sex toys. Prompt Numbers : 17. Toys (gifting you one, choosing one together, using one) & 46. He watches you masterbate (does he ask or do you suggest, does he walk in on you etc) 💞 Authors Note: Please enjoy a little Lando as I’m working hard on the next few “All Too Well” chapters 🥰.

As Lando yawned you knew what was about to come pouring out of his mouth as the end credits began to roll on the film you guys had been watching. “Baby, I’m too tired to drive home…” He paused and you were holding your breath. “…can I stay over?”

His question hung in the air. He hadn’t stayed at your place yet. You’d only really been dating officially for around eight weeks and in all that time you had only stayed at his or in his hotel rooms. In fact, tonight was probably the longest you guys had actually spent in your apartment. Usually he was picking you up or dropping you off and aside from that one time you roped him into helping move your sofa from one wall to the other, he hadn’t really spent any significant amount of time in your abode. You knew the longer you left the question unanswered he would be thinking the worst so quickly you hurried out a; “Yup, ok.”

As soon as you confirmed he would indeed be staying the night in your bed a knot formed in your stomach and as utterly ridiculous as it sounded, you started to think about your bedroom in your head. You had the typical bedroom for a woman in her early twenties trying to figure out what kind of woman she was while showing her personality. The walls were neutral but you had some prints on them and then a bookshelf with little books and more mementos of what felt like stupid, childish trinkets now you thought about it. Then your mind shot to Mr Barnaby on your bed and tried to think of how you could squirrel him away without Lando noticing. As quickly as you thought of your childhood bear, you also thought of the clothes that you need to put away in the washing basket and the others on the chair that needed washing. Fuck, he had seen you naked. Surely he could handle seeing yesterdays bra?

You asked Lando to take the plates and glasses to the kitchen and you said you were just popping to the restroom but really you went to give your room a quick glance. Everything was fine. You actually put the clothes away this morning and the dirty clothes were already in your washing machine, you had forgotten in a panic and quickly you put Mr Barnaby in a drawer before Lando finally appeared in your room and you smiled at him.

Observing your new boyfriend you realised how tired he actually looked and he really shouldn’t have been driving. He came straight to you from his flight home earlier tonight. He made you melt when he said he was desperate to see you and have you cuddled in his arms. It made you feel so grateful to the universe for allowing you to get to see this beautifully sensitive guy you were really falling head of heels in love with. He kissed the top of your head and asked again if you were ok with him staying and you nodded. He took your confirmation and ran with it. Pulling both his hoody and his t-shirt off at the same time. Lando’s tanned, taught skin never failed to make your mouth water. You couldn’t help but stare for a while before finally, he encouraged you to get undressed too. You pulled your own hoody off and looked down to see your hands tremor. Why the fuck were you nervous? He had seen your boobs before. He liked your boobs. He really liked your boobs but you supposed that perhaps it was because usually you guys were having sex before falling asleep and that was why tonight felt different.

Lando got into your bed before you did and you could feel his eyes on you as you removed your sweatpants and folded them before placing them on the chair in the corner of the room. Eventually you had to turn and finally, the eyes that had been watching you remove your clothes now stared into yours. He was lying in your sheets, it slung across his mid chest and his bicep looked good enough to sink your teeth into as he curled it behind his head. Lando looked so at home in your bed. He looked so comfortable and natural. Effortless. And what was even more effortless was the way that he pulled back the covers for you to get in bedside him. The bed was fairly new and the mattress sunk only a little as you slid into it to be beside Lando. Your body slithered under the covers and was instantly met by his radiating heat. You knew he knew you were on edge and so he started talking to you in an effort to get you more relaxed. His bed voice was better than any calming app you could download on your phone. And the fact that no one else got to hear it turned you on to no end. And low and behold it was working. His voice eased your worry. As a thank-you you went to lean in to kiss him warmly but he pulled back a little. Lando admitted that his lips were dry and he confessed he had been avoiding kissing you all night due to it because he didn’t want to disappoint you. You found it to be a ridiculous reason considering he knew how much you loved his lips and you didn’t want to be denied them, especially not any longer. So you informed him there was a chapstick in the bedside table.

“Uh…” He let out a short uncouth chuckle “y/n what’s this?” He asked and before you could even ask him a single question he was holding perhaps the worst thing he could ever have found in your room. A small little battery operated friend that kept you company over the course of your eight long single girl months. Now it seemed ridiculous to have been worried about Mr Barnaby, your clean and dirty clothes and appearing like your room was mature enough. You eventually made eye contact with him and you saw the amusement plastered all across his face.

“So uh, how does this…” Lando looked for the button and the words to beg him not too turn it on were teetering on the tip of your tongue but it was too late. The toy suddenly started buzzing and Lando’s mouth dropped open. “Fuck. That’s so strong.” He practically shouted and you tried to make a grab for it but he immediately held it away from you. And then, when he glanced at you, you could read his mind. Before you had a chance to tell him that what his filthy, dirty mind was thinking would not be happening he was already suggesting it; “Show me…show me how you use it.” “No, you’re supposed to be tiered, Lando.” You tried to sound as commanding as possible but it was futile.  “Well, I’m not anymore.” He was so blunt “Now, I’m just horny.”

Lando’s stare told you there was no way he was going to give up. He was going to be persistent about him watching you use the toy you bought on a whim. You sighed. “I’m too…” You were about to say tired but then instead said “embarrassed.” And covered your no doubt blushing face. You didn’t have the kind of girlfriends that would talk about that sort of thing. It wasn’t like you had a group like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. And you couldn’t liken yourself to no Samantha Jones – even if you figured you’d be the only one out of your group of friends who actually did own a vibrator. “Why? I’ve seen everything already” He smirked “I’ve tasted everything already.” That was true and the memory of it made you press your legs together, which only added to Lando’s insistence. “See, your horny thinking about it.”

His persuasion lasted approximately five minutes. He started gently but then he rolled on top of you and started kissing your neck. It was defiantly a tactic to get you all hot and bothered so he would get what he wanted but now he the effect he had desired and your blood coursed down south. You muttered a quick; “fine” and Lando immediately pulled the covers back and got down to the bottom of the bed excitedly.

“Ok…” he said and you were waiting on him making some cheesy remark like they did at the start of a race. You took the toy from his grip and watched as he licked his lips when you took your panties off and gently opened your legs for him. His eyes trailed down over your now naked body and you had to take a deep breath to steady yourself. It wasn’t like it was a regular occurrence. In fact, no guy had ever asked you to masturbate for him – touch yourself as they fucked you, yes but masturbate, as they watched, never. You slowly ran your fingers down across your dampening folds. Collecting some of your arousal and spreading it around a bit so your toy would easily glide. As your boyfriend was laser focused on what your fingers were doing you were more focused on watching his reactions. Intently you watched as he bit his lower lip and moved his hand toward his crotch and his evidently hardening member. You had to remind yourself to focus because watching Lando as he palmed at his glorious cock through his straining boxers almost made you lapse concentration. He groaned as soon as you sighed when you started warming up by playing with your sensitive clit before finally turning on the toy to it’s lowest setting.

When you hovered the humming toy over yourself so lightly that it barely touched you, Lando groaned again. Your back arched and naturally you pressed it to yourself slightly harder. Soft vibrations made sparks rupture across your ultra sensitive areas. Your nipples hardened while your toes curled at the blissfully pleasing sensation. “How does it feel, baby?” “So fucking good, Lando.” Your eyes closed and you began to lose the nerves that had built inside of you. Your breathing quickened but it wasn’t the only person’s. Just watching the toy vibrating away, making your pretty pussy flutter clearly set Lando off. You could hear his breathing first followed by a hiss and then the sound of his hand working up and down his lengthy, big cock. Almost like you were giving him a reward just as well as yourself, you pressed the button to turn the toy up higher. A delighted gasp fled your lips, which was followed by another and another while your brow furrowed and you squirmed at the intense sensation. Truthfully, since you started sleeping with Lando you hadn’t reached for the toy once. He had you satisfied enough that you never felt like you needed to get yourself off. You had forgotten about how quickly the vibrator made you a quivering, trembling mess. So the search for your orgasm was going to be a quick one. Lando swore again and just hearing him getting off while he watched you did something too you. It gave you such a confidence boost and such a high that you bumped up the intensity of the vibrating friend even more.

“Lan…” you breathed, struggling to say his name. “Fuck, your so beautiful.” He groaned and this time, you opened your eyes to see what he was doing. Lando’s eyes were honed in on your pussy while his hand was frantically pumping up and down his engorged cock. You had to stay focused because usually that sight would make you want to get on your knees and taking him in your mouth till he finished all over your tongue but that was not your goal tonight. He wanted to see you get off not the other way round. However, the sheer thought of blowing your panting boyfriend was enough to give you the first little sparks of an orgasm. You breathed his name again and gritted your teeth as you moved the toy a little so it was now, pressed directly to your clit and it was utterly relentless. In your mind you willed yourself to keep going and keep it exactly where you had it because you knew any second your legs were going to start trembling and you’d have a very intense, beautiful release.

With nothing short of a pornographic moan, you climaxed. Your orgasm ripped through your entire body and was so powerful that you lunged forward and grabbed hold of Lando’s arm just for stability. Swear words flowed freely from you as your nails dug into Lando’s skin and your legs quaked with how extreme your high was. While you fought with your lungs to calm your breathing, Lando clearly found watching you while you got yourself off too much. Only seconds after your own release, Lando was finding his. Your boyfriends’ unsteady grunts increasing with every rough stroke until finally – with your name blurting out of his open mouth – cum flowed from the tip of his cock. Your eyes never left the sight, too woozy from your high but also because you liked seeing the way your dirty, naughty act affected him. His thighs tensed, his lower abs did too, until they trembled just like yours had done till he was completely spent.

“Fuck….” He sighed and opened his eyes, turned toward you and repeated himself with a shaky little laugh. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” His praise meant everything to you. He then proceeded to stumble over his words and he tried to describe what he watched but he ended you just grabbing you and kissing you deeply. “Thank-you.” He stated eventually against your lips and you couldn’t help but thank him back. You had too. Without his insistence you would probably have never relaxed with him sleeping over for the first time.               

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 9

Star Crossed Lover

Series Masterlist

Previous Part: True Romantic Next Part: May 20th

Word Count: 10,607 (I am SO sorry lol)

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of violence, blood, and injury. Allusions and discussion of suicide attempts. Please proceed with caution and and good judgment for your own personal mental health 💞

The drive to your team welcoming at the winery made 45 minutes of highway feel simultaneously far too long yet excruciatingly short.

After what happened in the corridor, you really didn't have much to say. The only words really spoken between you and Steve was you thanking him for getting the car door for you, then him insisting that you played your music.

After a few minutes on the road, Steve stole a few quick glances at you to try and gauge how you were really feeling, but your head was leaned all the way back against the headrest, and your eyes were always either closed or staring absentmindedly on the scenery around you.

He took no offense, in fact, he was glad that you were calm at the very least. Deep down he knew you were always feeling at least a little worse- if not a lot worse than you expressed to anyone. But like always, there was a time and place to address issues. Pulling into a parking spot at the winery and putting his car into park was not the time, nor the place.

Taking a quick peek through his rearview mirror, he could see a few special guests had already arrived, and he could only hope it would help ease the distress you never deserved to have inflicted on you.

Steve turned to you with an empathetic grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Last chance to run away?"

You turned your head to look at him with a lazy smile, and an unexpected giggle. "I can't run in these shoes."

"If it gets too overwhelming, you know I'll be here. Just tell me, I'll sneak you away for a bit of fresh air." He reminded you.

"You're making me feel like I'm about to be eaten alive" You raised your eyebrow.

Steve shook his head. "No, you're not. I've been on this team for so many years I stopped counting and even I still get overwhelmed by all of them sometimes. Things like this can be a lot even on a perfectly good day."

"I'm guessing I'll relax after a glass of wine or two" You reassured him and yourself. "It'll be like nothing ever happened, nobody even has to know."

That sent red flags raising high in Steve's head. Now he knew for sure you were in worse shape than you were letting on.

"Bug," Steve shot you a serious glare. "You can be sad, it's okay to be sad."

"I'll be sad later." You surrendered. "Right now I'm so happy and honored to be part of such a welcoming and supportive team. We're all going to have a wonderful night, and everything is going to be fine."

"Promise me right now that after this is over you'll cut the bullshit and stop telling me you're fine." Steve held out his pinky to you. All you did was narrow your eyes at him, you knew he could read you like a book far below his intelligence level, and it was equal parts endearing and frustrating. "We both know that's a lie, and we both know there's no reason for you to have to go through any of this alone anymore. We both know this is the beginning of the end of all of your suffering, and should it get worse before it gets better, you have a whole team of people who want to help you and be there for you."

"Fine." With an internal defeat, you wrapped your pinky around his. "I'll be sad later, but only if you get me a glass of wine while I socialize so I don't seem like a bitch for booking it to the bar."

"Great" Steve smiled, shaking your intertwined pinky fingers, locking in the deal. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"This is the worst deal ever." You shook your head with a smile on your face while reaching for the car door handle.

An immediate gasp full of personal offense left Steve faster than you anticipated, and you got ready for the fight you two had nearly every time you got into a car together. "Do not reach for that car door ma'am."

"Twinkles, I have two fully functioning arms and legs. I can open my own car door." You made the same argument you've made a million times before.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Steve shook his head at you, his face full of disappointment. "Stay right there before I put the child safety lock on the passenger side of the door."

"Logistically, it'll take more time for you to get out, walk around, open my door, wait for me to get out, then close my door than if I were to just get out on my own." You laughed.

“Yeah well, logistically, this reoccurring argument takes a lot of time as well yet you always seem to want to spark it." Steve spoke as he got out of the car, his door closing behind him. Very quickly making his way to you, he opened your door and offered you his arm to help you out. "See, didn't take that long. Look, this is an unpaved parking lot and you're wearing a pretty high heel which means you could've tripped and fallen and broken an ankle, and it would've been all my fault."

"How could you possibly sleep at night?!" You agreed sarcastically as you got out of the car, and he closed the door behind you.

"I never do." Steve noted. "This is why I have insomnia."

"Too many women and too many unpaved parking lots in this world." You agreed, walking with him towards the entrance. "We really need to contact someone about this."

It didn't take long to enter the beautiful outdoor space that was far too big to be reserved just for the team. You immediately felt like you were the main character of a hallmark movie, strings of twinkling lights shined above your head, the grounds were well maintained, full of plants, tables, and even a dreamy gazebo that was also illuminated by strings of lights.

There were candles lit along pathways and atop the standing tables, booths open that served food, and no less than 20 different wine options, and a whole bunch of friendly faces that all started clapping and cheering when you walked in.

Definitely not expecting that much immediate   attention, your cheeks widened into a smile and deepened in color before your hands moved up to hide your face. It only took a few moments before you were brave enough to peak through your fingers to recognize faces you didn't quite expect to be there.

All you expected were the avengers that lived in the compound or near by, but to see faces like Thor, Clint, and even that Spider-Kid who definitely was not 21 and was out passed his bedtime was a pleasant surprise.

Another pleasant surprise was the sweet faces of your mom and dad, sister and brother in law, and a handful of your friends from back home.

Your hands dropped from your face and showed off your full toothy smile and pink cheeks that Steve loved so much it made his heart skip a beat.

It nearly dropped out of his chest and deep into his stomach when you turned to him. "Did you invite them?"

"Of course I did" Steve nodded with a cheeky smile. "I wanted you to feel more comfortable, and you deserve to be celebrated by your family too, not just ours."

Much like earlier in the day when he gave you the suit, your arms flew around him fast and tight. It was shorter this time due to the audience, but Steve still loved it nonetheless. "Thank you so much, you're so sweet."

"You're very welcome" Steve smiled. "I'll go get us some wine like I promised, but I do feel like I need to say hello to your family first considering I've been texting them to arrange this. But I'll be quick!"

"I have so many questions" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"Save them for later!" Steve told you while walking straight towards your parents.

With full trust that nothing chaotic would happen in that interaction, you scanned faces once more and realized Bucky and Nat were missing. You knew why, but it made your happy mood deflate again until Thor was the first of the bunch to walk up and introduce himself.

You made your way through Bruce, Carol, and even said hi to Maria Hill regardless of the fact that you worked with her many times before.

Steve did make it to you with a glass of wine in each of his hands between your interactions with people. "Here you go, Bugs. Not quite sure what this wine is but I told the nice girl at the bar you liked white wine so she poured you her favorite."

"You're the best." Your cheers your glass against his.

"Ugh, I know right?" He agreed sarcastically, drinking down a grin with a sip of red.

Your quick interaction with Steve made your family approach you to celebrate, but he definitely wanted you to have your time alone with them so he slipped away just as fast as he came.

Lots of hugs, lots of chatting, then lots of them pushing you away to go hang out with the Avengers.

Somewhere between Peter Parker and more time with Sam, a quick scan of the crowd had you realizing that now the Avengers were co-mingling with your family and friends. Oh, and Bucky and Natasha finally got there 45 minutes into the actual event.

Lost in conversation with Scott Lang about the most recent episode of that one sitcom he so happened to bring up, a pair of forearms wrapped around you from behind.

You pretty much expected it to be anybody but Natasha, but you were pleasantly surprised that she was already so comfortable with you. "Sorry we're late, but Rogers' mess is cleaned up and you'll never see it again. Also, you look hot in that dress."

There was no chance to thank her or apologize for the mess as she quickly galavanted off into the crowd.

Scott was pulled away from you about 10 minutes later, and your glass became empty of wine. Feeling mildly confident at this point that you had at least introduced yourself and greeted everyone there, you felt comfortable enough to go get a refill on your own.

Another heavy pour and you were back out. Conversation flowed a lot easier than expected between the groups you found yourself in. There was always something to talk about, laughter was a common occurrence, but somehow the mess in the corridor kept seeping into your mind no matter how hard you tried to push it down.

Eventually Bucky found his way to you, and somehow the comfort of one of your best friends helped quiet down all of the unnecessary noise in your brain.

In true Bucky fashion, he approached with plenty of food in hand. Setting a full wood fire pizza on the table, he pushed the whole tray towards you.

"You haven't been eating enough for someone at an event with free food" He noted.

"Hello to you too" You grinned, taking down another big gulp of wine.

"Steve told me you were worried about me." Bucky's face softened.

"I'm always worried about you, that's what friends are for." You agreed with Steve's statement.

"You know what that agent said about me tonight is nothing but water off a ducks back." He reassured you. "But what he said about you is what bothered me. That is what I take personally, and that's what I can't let anyone get away with."

You sighed. "What did you do, Buck?"

"Nat fired him, we both got him on some gnarly lists to ensure he's going to have a hard time finding another job." He explained. "I think Steve did enough damage that the dumbass will probably never reproduce, which is probably a blessing to the next generation. We didn't help him up though, he can figure that out himself."

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"If it was up to me. I wouldn't have left it at just his balls, but I digress" Bucky shrugged. "I'm really happy you're back, Buggy. I've been smiling all day knowing you're here."

"Well for what's it's worth, I'm sorry people have been saying rude things about you because of me, and I'm happy to be here to hopefully get back on the right foot. I missed you and Steve a lot these past couple of months."

"It's not your fault, so I'm not accepting that apology." Bucky denied. "But I will accept a hug because I missed you too."

"Tough crowd." You grinned before wrapping your arms around him and leaving them there for a while.

Then, he started whispering in your ear. "This was a trap I just wanted to gossip in peace"

You let out an uncontrollable laugh, starting to feel the effects the wine had on you. "What's up? What's the gossip?" You tried to whisper back but it was a little hard to get the words quietly past your smile.

"Has Steve kissed you yet?" Bucky asked in a dramatic whisper.

“No, I don't think he ever will." You denied. "But I just got back last night, give him some grace."

"I don't think he will either. He's really scared of you." He agreed with you. "Do you need me to yell at him for that? Or I can just kind've shove your faces together when I find the opportunity?"

He pulled another laugh from you. "No, it's okay. He's scared, he needs to go at his own pace."

"Have you admitted to yourself that you like him yet?"

"Unfortunately you knew that before I did, but yes, and I told him that too."

"Good, good." Bucky started to pull away from the hug, but your wrapped your arms tighter around him.

"Tell me about you and Nat now" You trapped him.

"Well I'm not a scaredy cat like Steve is so... Girlfriend."

You gasped with a smile and pulled back to observe his face. But it was obvious he wasn't lying to you, so you lit up once more. "I'm so happy for you!"

Raising your hand up for a high five, Bucky hit his metal palm against your hand.

From across the winery and under the gazebo, Steve watched this whole interaction between you and Bucky. He was pleasantly surprised when jealousy never rushed through his veins watching the two of you hug.

Thats when Steve realized how secure he felt with you now. He understood now more than ever that you and Bucky were purely platonic, and it was evident in the way you two looked at and touched each other. In fact, he even felt a sense of warmth and happiness watching you two have a secretive conversation that wasn't so slick. Maybe it would've been a little more discreet had you been a bit more sober, but he found it endearing nonetheless. He found himself feeling hopeful that soon enough the three of you really could smooth over the damage and go back to hanging out together, a notion that once felt impossible.

He was even happier when he saw the both of you take a slice of pizza, cheers, then eat together.

After that, he stopped watching. He was so content knowing that Bucky was keeping an eye on you. Maybe that's where he overestimated his false sense of security, because along with the pizza, Bucky brought you another glass of wine which only meant you were feeling sillier and more socially confident by the second.

At some point Steve fell deep into conversation with your dad, they were getting along so well, in fact, he hadn't even noticed that he spent about a whole hour and a half alone under the fairy light illuminated gazebo with him. They also didn't notice that you were getting along with the team so well it's like you were always part of the little family to begin with.

He didn't catch you and your sister flipping each other off from across the venue as often as you could, he didn't see the way you and Peter made a secret handshake, or even when you exchanged phone numbers with Bruce. He missed Sam making you laugh so hard you nearly peed your pants, then you, Nat, and Wanda disappearing to the bathroom for a solid ten minutes then coming back with your lipstick magically perfect again.

He also missed your fourth glass of wine.

But that was pretty obvious when you walked out of the bathroom and into the social event, scanning the intimate crowd to try and spot anyone to engage in conversation.

Thats when you noticed your mom batting her eyelashes and giggling in a one on one conversation with Tony, while your dad was batting his eyelashes and giggling under the gazebo with Steve.

A bit wobbly on your feet, you walked over to them and held onto the wooden entrance as you stepped up. Both of their attention was drawn to you from their spot on a bench.

You squinted your eyes at your dad. "Hello, Father."

"Daughter" He raised an eyebrow at you.

Steve didn't know where this interaction was about to go, so he observed carefully. 

"Steve, is this strange man bothering you?" You asked him.

Steve laughed as your dad reached over to you and flicked the side of your head, you remained unfazed. "Not in the slightest."

"She's drunk" Your dad told Steve while covering your ears.

"I'm not drunk, I'm silly and perhaps a bit goofy, but I am not drunk." You grabbed your dad's wrists and pulled his hands off your ears. "My sobriety should be the least of your concerns at the moment."

"Why is that?" Your dad asked.

"Tony Stark is flirting with your wife." You pointed to your mom and Tony.

Steve followed your pointed finger and saw that you were actually right, and that made him laugh. "That's really concerning."

Your dad sighed. "So what? I have to fight Iron Man now? You chose to be a superhero and now I have to fight Iron Man for your own Mother?"

"Get used to it." You stuck your tongue out at him.

He stuck his tongue out right back at you before turning to Steve. "Please excuse me, I need to rescue my wife."

"By all means" Steve agreed.

When your dad walked off and you were alone with Steve, you sat down right next to him and pulled his arm around your shoulders before you closed your eyes and rested your head on him.

You didn't see his smile as he pulled you as close as he could and rubbed the top of your arm. "How are you doing?"

"Cold, tired, feet hurt." You mumbled. "Drunk"

"I thought you said you weren't drunk?" Steve quipped happily.

“Well, you're not my dad so you get to know the truth." You snuggled into him. "More truth, you smell really nice, and I just need to sit here for a little while."

A giggle escaped Steve from your confessions. "Are you having fun?"

"More fun than I thought" You nodded. "I'm so warm and fuzzy inside. It's been so long since I've felt happy like this."

That wiped the smile clean off of Steve's face. "I'm so happy that you're happy. It'll keep getting better, I'll make sure of it."

"I wish it could just be like this all the time." The feelings you never talk about spilling out of your mouth. "Life could be so good, and I really love it sometimes. I just don't know how to not take what other people do to me personally. You and Bucky are so good at that."

"You're good at everything you do, and life is about to get so much better for you, sweet girl. I promise."

"I'm trying really hard to believe you." You smiled. "I probably sound sad, but I'm happy right now. 'M always happy when I'm with you."

"You can stay with me however long you want, I'm happy with you too." He squeezed your shoulder.

"How did you guys plan such an elaborate event when nobody even knew if I would agree to be an avenger or if I would even be back at the compound today?" You asked.

"We used magic and our intuition" He said with a smile.

"You are so magical" Your alcohol influenced mind marveled. "And who in my family have you been communicating with because that's so magical"

"Your sister and your mom" Steve giggled at your question. "Your family is very nice and really fun to be around."

"Did my dad tell you embarrassing stories about me?"

"Surprisingly, no he didn't."

"Good, good. Let's keep it that way."

Closing your eyes, you let the wine and Steve's body heat relax all your muscles and wash the tension away. Unsure of how long you had actually been there, there was a point in which you could feel Steve shift to look at an approaching person.

An uncontrollable laugh escaped your intoxicated mind as whoever Steve was looking at sat on the other side of you and snuggled into your body the same way you were snuggled up to Steve, but for some reason you still didn't want to open your eyes.

"Wow, this is lovely" The voice said. It sounded like Sam, but you couldn't be too sure.

"Hey, I want in on this too" Sounded loudly from far away. Footsteps came running, and Maria plopped onto Sam's lap sideways. She kicked her legs over your and Steve's laps.

Slowly but surely, more Avengers, family and friends ended up under the gazebo with you and Steve. The cuddle pile grew with Scott and Nat, and lasted longer than it probably should've.

You were fed enough food by pretty much everyone while you all drunkenly told stories and laughed so hard that your stomach hurt that you eventually sobered up.

Once you were sober again, you realized just how fast time had flown by and were sad to hug your parents goodbye. You're pretty sure your mom hugged and your dad fist-bumped nearly every single person at the event, but that was neither here nor there.

Eventually everyone said goodbye, and by the time you got back into Steve's car it was already almost midnight. And by the time you got home and into Steve's bed, all of your energy was more than depleted. Social battery was in the negative, but you felt like you had been plugged into a high speed charger when he got under the covers next to you.

"How are you feeling?" That seemed to be everyone's favorite question to ask you.

"I kind've feel like you right now" With your eyes closed, your laid on your back with one arm above your head and the other resting over your hoodie on top of your belly.

Steve giggled "what is that supposed to mean?"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Any particular reason why?"

"I ate too much, drank too much wine. I'm bloated but happy so it's a small price to pay." You explained.

"Well if you're going to throw up, aim in that direction" Steve smiled and pointed in the opposite direction of himself. "Are you still drunk? Do you need some water?"

"No I'm not, I'm okay" Your smile barely ghosted your lips. "Just need some sleep."

Steve reached over and pulled some blankets over your frame before poking your cheek. "Remember what you promised me earlier?"

Your eyes opened to look at him. "I feel better, really. I do."

Steve sighed. "You don't even want to talk about it?"

"What is there to say?" You questioned. "All the same shit, different day. There's nothing I can do about that anymore."

"When this all first started, you were getting sent to my office nearly every day for fighting back, but tonight you kind've froze up. Why?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone to do that to me when I was with you." You answered. "But it's done now, it's fine."

"We both know it's not done" Steve's face softened. "And avoiding it doesn't make it go away."

"Would you like me to rewind time and kick him in the balls instead?"

"No, I just want you to know you can talk to me." Steve emphasized.

"I'm pissed off." You admitted. "I'm always in a state of being angry that this is the environment that I have to learn to thrive in every day, but I've also reached a state of emotional exhaustion that makes me feel like I have no room left to be even more angry than I already am. I've hit max capacity, so I'm choosing to stay as calm as I can because out of all the kicks and punches I've thrown, none of them have worked before. I have no reason to believe it'll work now."

“It's not fair." Steve huffed like kid.

"It never has been." You agreed with a shrug. "But you don't need to hold onto that anger for me. I'm trying to let go of it and move on."

"I'll let go of my anger in the form of making change." Steve told you, now feeling brave enough to pull you close to him.

You snuggled up close, your head on his bicep and your arm holding him gently. "I'm an avenger now. That's all the change I know how to make at the moment."

"I'm so proud of you" he practically whispered. "But I've never met anyone like you before."

"You really need to work on providing context before sentences that might hurt my feelings"

Steve chuckled at your bluntness. "You're telling me that you're happy, but you're also telling me that you're sad. Both of those statements feel genuine, so I don't really know where your mind is."

"Well then imagine how complex and confusing it is to be me" You emphasized. "Never in my whole life have I felt more alone while also feeling more loved than ever. I'm happy and sad, I just accomplished something most people never will by becoming an avenger yet I've also never felt more like a loser. This is the first time I've ever been relentlessly bullied but it's also the first time I've ever been a superhero so I guess the juxtaposition of my emotions is just turning my brain into scrambled eggs."

"Have you tried compartmentalization?" Steve offered with a grain of salt.

"I tried that once, I think I created too many emotional categories and got overwhelmed." You smiled. "But I'm a Gemini, so these complexities have been written in the stars for me since the moment I was brought onto the earth. I think I was born for the very purpose of the universe testing to see if overwhelming contradictory emotions could physically kill a human being."

"One of my greater purposes in life is to protect people against the things that could kill them, so you're in good hands right now." Steve slowly rubbed your back. "Overwhelm will not be your cause of death. Actually, nothing will be. I'm trying to convince Banner to make clones of us to be kept in cryofreeze that way when we die of old age, new versions of us can just be thawed out so we can be best friends forever."

"Spoken like a true cancer" You laughed, patting his chest. "Did I uphold my end of the promise?"

"We can call it even, but I'll always be concerned"

"Even Stevens!" You sleepily enthused.

"Are you rhyming or was that a reference to something?" You could hear his amusement.

"Both, you're a little too old to understand that one."

"That's really rude" Steve faked offense.

"Thanks for coming to my rescue, Twinkles. I know you think you didn't do much, but it means a lot to me when I know I have someone on my team."

"I'll always be on your team, you've always been worth the fight." Steve reminded you.

Those words comforted you enough to ignore your very full stomach and fall into a deep sleep in the hold of your favorite soldier's big protective arms. Unfortunately the universe loved to hate you, because you only got your share of the superhero until about 4am when his phone started ringing effectively waking both of you up.

A few curse words slipped out of his mouth in complaint before he reached for his phone and answered it. You didn't pay much attention to the phone call itself, but you did find it within your lack of  consciousness to move nearly your entire body onto his in attempt to keep him forever. Snuggling into him belly to belly, his hand found the back of your head and played with your hair as you slipped in and out of sleep.

By the time the phone call ended, you had effectively caged him between the mattress and your body. Realizing what you had done, Steve's cheeks burned as he let out a sigh.

"You can't go." You sleepily mumbled.

"You and I both know I don't really have any say in that." Steve reminded you apologetically.

"Says who? We all have free will."

"Unfortunately, the president of the United States. Apparently he requested to meet me for an urgent conversation about something that's happening somewhere." Steve explained.

"Damnit." You yawned. "I think the president has me beat in importance."

"I think the two of you are pretty equal in importance." Steve pondered. "The only difference is that people might die if I don't get out of bed."

"My soul will die if you get up, but it's fine, I understand." You joked dramatically.

"You're making it very hard for me" Steve complained, wrapping his arms around your back and squeezing you gently.

"If you're hard that's all the more reason to stay in bed." You joked, knowing damn well Steve wouldn't take a naughty joke like that very well.

And you were right, because the gasp that left his mouth was immediate and visceral. You didn't need to look at his face to know his cheeks were flushed pink and red hot. Your laugh was also pretty immediate and visceral as he used his body to flip you over onto the bed and propped himself up on his arm to lean over you. Pointing a finger at you like a dog, he had one word to say. "Bad!"

You laughed even harder as he shook his head at you. "I'm going to get up and get ready to meet the president, you stay here and think about what you just said."

Laying in bed alone, Steve eventually came to say goodbye to you. It was always sad to let each other go, but also an often occurrence. But this time he was hesitant to leave, of course you both knew why. Last night wouldn't be a one time event, but he encouraged you to stay close to Bucky, Nat and Sam as often as you could, and emphasized that there would be no timeline to his departure so he didn't know when he would be back. He also made it clear that should you need to defend yourself, you should do so with no hesitation.

Luckily, all was pretty smooth for a while. Your friendship with Nat bloomed faster than you'd ever expect it would, so for the first week Steve was gone the two of you were practically attached at the hip. Nat and Bucky spent a whole day helping you move from your old apartment up into the Avengers sector. Though it felt a bit pointless moving within the same building, the team felt better about keeping a protective eye on you when you weren't floors away from them. It was a nice change of pace to have a sense of community around you again.

The second week that Steve was gone, you tried to focus on building individual friendships with the team members outside of your little social circle. Your therapist also encouraged you to try and be brave enough to walk through the compound with a confident attitude so nobody would fuck with you, so you tried a few times on your own, a few times were nothing more than anxiety inducing, and a few times got you confronted with hostility which lead to 3 more agents getting fired by Natasha.

By the third week you finally got a phone call from Steve. It was nice to hear his voice and catch up and hear about what he had been up to for all this time, and it was especially nice to hear that he was wrapping up his work and he would be home soon. That same day you got to visit Jane and Luca over lunch at one of your favorite restaurants, then they helped you pick out a few new things for your new apartment.

Most kids acted as if a home store was cruel and unusual, but Luca was very opinionated about rugs and throw pillows. He even convinced you to get a new pair of sneakers at the clothing store he wanted to go to across the street from the compound.

Lots of therapy, lots of solo workouts, lots of team building, you were starting to feel mentally and physically stronger.

Strong enough to keep walking alone, and pushing forward no matter how hard it was.

When Steve landed on the runway after 3 whole weeks and a handful of days of being gone, he was so relieved to be back home. Without even making it off the jet he was already fantasizing about shaving the beard he unintentionally grew after forgetting his razor at home, a long shower and a long nap since it was only early in the afternoon and definitely not bedtime yet.

His fantasies continued as he stepped off the jet and into the building. Now he knew he wanted to see you before he knocked out for that nap he desperately needed. There would be some snacks at some point, and definitely no pants after the got out of the shower.

The sound of his boots on the sleek floor actually brought him joy knowing each step was one closer to you.

Like most fantasies, what he hoped and dreamed of was far from reality. Especially when a loud alarm sounded in the sector of the compound he was headed towards.

Stopping in his tracks and cringing at the sound, he waited for the code and location to be called out before springing into action. It could've been as simple as a knocked over vial in the lab, or complex as an invasion of an enemy. But when the code called out for aggressive physical conflict in the gym, Steve's heart sank and he started running as fast as he could.

He didn't want to believe it was you, but he couldn't be naive either. His racing heart and even faster legs carried him there faster than anyone else could. As he entered the doorway into the compound gym, he could hear the footsteps of a few sets of feet trailing behind him, but waiting for others arrival wouldn't slow him down.

Especially not when he entered the gym and it was completely empty besides two people, his heart sank even further when he recognized it was you, and the number on the back of the uniform of the other person was 212. Harvey.

No less than a billion racing thoughts came sped through Steve's mind, and none of the billion came together to form any good ideas. He swore all he saw was a blinding white and all he heard was his own heart beat in his ears as he sprinted through the equipment to get to where the altercation was happening.

The two of you looked like a cartoon before he went into fully protective mode. As he weaved through punching bags and stair climbers, he couldn't pick out where your body started and Harvey's ended. There might as well have been a big dust cloud around you, with puffs of air pluming out.

The consequences of putting himself in the middle of a fight wasn't even a thought in Steve's mind as he jumped over a treadmill and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and tried to pull you backwards, far away from Harvey.

Unfortunately, you were a little too preoccupied trying to save your own life to notice the alarm was sounding or that anyone was coming to save you, let alone Steve who you didn't even know was home yet. Assuming it was another attacker, one of Harvey's buddies helping him take you down, you forcefully thrashed and kicked yourself out of the Steve's grip. Adrenaline clouded your judgement, flight was nowhere to be seen as fight took over your every thought, you turned around and swung your fist right at him to earn yourself more time to knock Harvey down. You know you made pretty harsh contact considering there was a shooting pain buzzing through your knuckles, but at this point there was pain jolting through nearly every part of your body, so this wasn't going to slow you down.

Still not realizing what you had done, you watched Natasha sprint into the room and full body tackle Harvey to the ground, followed by a few other commanding officers, Sam, and Bucky. Trusting their ability to deal with Harvey and not let him touch you again, you turned back around to deal with whoever else was.

Fist balled, ready for a second swing, you looked up at the targets face, and devastation immediately took over the whole of your emotions. Steve blocked your punch and caught your wrist mid swing.

"Hey hey hey, it's me. It's just me" Steve frantically tried to get you to stop.

"Oh my god" You whispered to yourself as you realized you punched Steve right on his cheekbone, hard enough a bruise was already forming.

He watched you come to the realization of what you had done, your wrist was shaking in his hand, even more so as he loosened his grip and gently placed your arm down to your side.

You looked battered and bruised, but when he looked back at Harvey, it was clear that you had won this fight.

Looking at your wide eyes, he could tell you were in shock, and coming down from the copious amount of adrenaline coursing through your veins. He knew all too well what that felt like. Guilt, shame, the full effects of pain from the injuries sustained, the tremors and how weak your knees and thighs would get. He's been in your position far too many times before, he knew it was the worst feeling in the world.

Especially when your cheek was oozing blood, your arms were scraped up and bruised. Steve could tell the fight started with an unfair advantage.

Then, tears started pooling in your eyes as you looked at Steve's face and you opened your mouth but no words would come out.

"It's okay." Steve told you, very slowly reaching out to put his hands on your shoulders trying to snap your brain out of fight mode. "You're okay."

A tear fell down your cheek and your eyebrows furrowed before you muttered a quiet. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know" Steve shook his head. "You were just trying to protect yourself. You're okay, buggy."

You looked over your shoulder and saw Harvey on the ground. His face was a lot bloodier than yours. With eyes swollen shut and his nose definitely not in its usual form, you felt like a monster.

A sob escaped your throat, and your shaky hand flew up to cover your mouth before your eyes squeezed shut. "What did I do?"

"Everything is going to be fine." Steve reminded you, pulling your attention back to him.

His bruised face only made your sobs escape faster and your heart pound even faster. "I'm so sorry, Steve, I-I didn't mean to. I didn't know it was you."

"I know you didn't, you didn't even know I was home." Steve reasoned with you. "It's okay, just take some deep breaths for me."

You shook your head, still panting from the physical exertion. "I can't."

"You can't?" He questioned.

"I have to go." You took a big step backwards, Steve's arms fell back to his sides.

More concern than Steve ever thought was humanly possible took over his mind. "Where do you need to go?"

"I don't know." You sobbed. "I just need to go. I'm sorry"

Another two scared steps backwards, then you bolted out of the gym. Steve started making strides towards you, fully prepared to follow you but Sam approached him and stuck his arm out.

"You have to let her go on her own." Hand flat to Steve's chest, he stopped him. "She needs time to calm down and come to terms with what just happened. Trust that if she needs something, she will call you."

Steve's shoulders deflated. He wanted to go help, convince you to see a medic and have an emergency meeting with your therapist, but he also knew Sam was probably right.

With a big deep breath, Steve assessed the state of the gym. Realizing one of the treadmills was still on and going, he reached over the machine to stop it. Then a few commands slipped through his mouth while trying to organize his own brain.

He needed the security camera footage of the incident, he needed the alarm to stop, he needed a lab clean up crew to get rid of all the blood on the gym floor, and he needed Harvey handcuffed to the hospital bed he was bound to end up in. He was too tired to do any of that on his own, but luckily others were eager to get this taken care of too.

Just as he was no longer needed, Bucky approached and squeezed his shoulder.

"What's that thing on your face?" Bucky's nose scrunched up.

"She got me on accid-"

"I'm not talking about the bruise. I didn't even know you were capable of growing a beard" Bucky commented.

Narrowing his eyes, Steve glared at Bucky. "I forgot my razor."

"Respectfully," Bucky stated looking him up and down. "You look like shit, Pal."

"Thanks, Buck." Steve sarcastically smiled. He knew he looked disheveled and tired.

"Really, I think 66 more years of sleep would look good on you." He backhandedly tapped Steve's chest. "Go take a nap."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep after she ran off like that." Steve sighed.

"We'll take care of her." Bucky reassured him. "We can always wake you up if need be, but her and Nat have grown really close. She has a lot of people in her court."

After about 10 more minutes of arguing with Bucky, he decided to just let him win under the conditions that he would keep him updated when he found out any new information.

Steve showered, shaved, and put on sweatpants and a shirt before getting into bed. He didn't want to wear pants, but he did it for your sake, just in case you came to find him. Realizing it had been about an hour since the incident, he tried calling you just to see if you would pick up, but he wasn't shocked when you didn't. So he sent you a text letting you know he was here for you when you were ready, then tried his hardest to get his mind to calm down enough to fall asleep.

It took an unfortunately short amount of time, as the second he laid down sleep hit him harder than your fist against his face, and he knocked out for so long that he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and it was now pitched black in his bedroom.

"Hello?" Steve mumbled into his phone.

"Jesus Christ, good morning sleeping beauty." Bucky said.

"Weren't you the one who told me to get some sleep?" Steve poked.

"Not important, glad you're back from the dead. I have some updates for you. Are you awake enough to process the words I'm speaking to you"

“I will be once I'm filled with rage over this situation again. What's up?"

"The security footage was recovered and I finally got to see it. It's enough evidence to land Harvey in jail for assault, so that's what Natasha is currently perusing."

Steve sat up in bed and reached for the lamp on the bedside table, blinking his eyes to adjust as it clicked on. "What happened?"

"She was alone in the gym, running on the treadmill and minding her own business. 212 saw her in there on her own, snuck in through the back door and yanked her off the treadmill. Her foot slipped off the end of the machine so he pushed her forward and scraped her face and arms against the moving belt, which is why she was bleeding. He was screaming some things at her but none of it is very clear. He tried kicking her a few times but she was able to get up and try to push him off of her, he persisted and she got fed up after he managed to get a swing at her collar bone and kicked her chin. She just... started swinging at him and didn't stop until you and Nat got them away from each other." Bucky explained.

"If this video can get him in jail, that would be great. But it can't be used if it's incriminating against her. We can't have that happen." Steve sighed.

"If anything, it's proof of self defense. You know Nat would never let anything bad happen to her. None of us would." Bucky reminded Steve. "It looked really painful on her end though. She ended up going to medical, but they released her a couple hours ago. JARVIS is telling me she's hanging out on the roof."

"Think I should go up there?" Steve asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, already knowing the answer.

"Well I don't necessarily think she should be alone for much longer."

"I'll talk to you later then."

The call ended and Steve stood in front of the mirror to fix his hair, while trying his hardest to ignore how tender and swollen his cheek was now. Before making it up to the private roof access, Bucky sent him the video and it took everything out of him to not kill Harvey with his own two hands. But a deep breathing exercise helped him regulate his anger again.

When he got up there and made it to the top, he saw you laying beneath the stars on a blanket with your headphones on, quietly crying to yourself and hoping that the moon understood your pain.

You noticed Steve immediately, and took your headphones off before sitting up as he quietly sat down next you. Trying your hardest to be brave, your lip wobbled trying to contain the new wave of emotion you felt. No words needed to be exchanged as you gently reached up and cupped his bruised cheek into your palm. There was a physical pain blossoming in your chest as he wrapped you up into his arms, but butterflies fluttered in his stomach as you let one of your arms keep him close, and your hand stayed over his cheek.

You cried tucked into his neck for a little while as he rubbed your back and simply let you feel your feelings. After a little while he heard your small broken voice.

"I'm so sorry." You apologized again, bravely pulling away and moving your hand to inspect the damage you did to his face. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"It's okay, Bugs. I'm fine. It was a dumb move on my part to grab you like that, if I was you I would've punched me too." Steve responded sincerely, taking in the burn-like scabs on your face down near your jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Could've been a lot worse." You nodded with a sniffle, really trying to convince yourself that you were okay. "I don't remember what happened, it all happened so fast I can't even recall specifics. I got scared and didn't want to hurt anyone else so I ran. I'm still trying to come down from that."

"I saw footage from the security camera, it wasn't good, Bug." Steve broke the news to you softly. "You did what you needed to do, and it was all within reason. There mere fact that you walked away with a few scrapes and bruises is a miracle."

"Did he sneak up on me?" You asked, Steve simply nodded in return with a sympathetic look on his face. "That's what I thought must've happened, that's also probably why I punched you so hard."

"If you need to see the video to help you process, I'll show it to you. But right now, I think it's best to just try and wind down."

In agreement, you made yourself comfortable next to Steve. You sat sideways nearly on his lap, with your legs thrown over his. His arm pulled you into his torso, and you rested your head onto your shoulder. Steve noticed your tiny winces as you adjusted to the new found pain and soreness in your body, but he tried his best to avoid all the spots he knew were injured.

“You saw a doctor right? Is everything okay?" He questioned, genuinely concerned.

You nodded. "Everything is pretty surface level, but apparently being slammed onto some heady gym equipment can bruise a rib."

"Bruised ribs are so painful" Steve's face scrunched up. "You're one tough cookie."

"I'm sorry this is what you came home to after being away for so long."

Steve was looking at you, admiring the way you looked under the moonlight, yet you couldn't keep your eyes off the stars. "I wish you didn't feel the need to apologize for things that aren't your fault."

"I'm working on that, and I don't anymore for most people. But for you? A million apologies wouldn't be enough. You're too sweet for this kind of nonsense."

"You are too, but out of all people you should know that I understand." Steve stressed. "In a lot of ways, we're very similar, Bug. I know what it feels like to be in the position you're in right now. You don't need to explain anything or apologize to me. I get it."

You tried to understand his words, but you really didn't. For a moment, you almost got upset with him for implying that anyone would treat him the way you've been treated around the compound. Steve was one of the most respected people in the world, you could barely earn the respect of a new hire agent. "I don't see anyone rushing to try and physically harm you for going on a run." You wiped tears from under your eyes.

"No, maybe not here." Steve agreed with you. "But way back when I first got the serum, I struggled really hard to earn respect from anyone around me."

"I have to admit, it's hard to imagine anyone disrespecting you."

Steve grinned and carefully brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your eyes. "I went from a 90 pound asthmatic who didn't have the strength to complete one push up to a human science experiment. I proved myself the very moment after I got the serum and it still wasn't enough for a lot of people. Thats why I was paraded around on that USO tour for so long, nobody thought I could handle fighting a war."

"You looked really cute in those booty shorts" you sniffled.

Steve chuckled at your statement. "Stop making me laugh when I'm trying to teach you a valuable lesson."

"I'd rather jump off this roof than not make you laugh" you smiled despite the contradictory tears.

"The point of this conversation is actually to make sure you don't jump off the roof." Steve informed you.

Your eyes moved from the stars to his eyes, they were both as equally beautiful and bright. "Is that what you're worried about? I would never-"

"Quite honestly, yeah, I am." He cautiously continued with a slight nod. "We see a more on a daily basis than anyone should see in their whole life, that alone is grounds for struggle but when you factor in everything else, I don't think that concern is far off."

Your tears fell faster at his statement. As a sad sob slipped past your throat and your eyes found the sky once more, Steve's heart broke knowing he hit the nail on the head. He also knew you wouldn't open up if you felt defensive about it, so he needed to take the scenic route to get you there.

"What's your favorite part about the stars?" Steve asked. "You seem to love looking at the sky when you're sad."

"Looking for constellations helps me stay calm and get out of my head" You explain with a sniffle. "They're hard to see in the city but it's better here upstate."

Steve looked up. "It's amazing to me that you can find constellations. All I see is each individual star."

You pointed at the brightest light. "That's Saturn, and these stars right below it make up the Aquarius constellation."

"It's crazy that the universe is so vast."

"That's another reason why I like the stars so much. With so much happening out there, it's a good reminder that everything down here is so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. Sometimes that makes me feel like I can keep going strong, like one day none of this will even matter."

"You really believe in astrology? I go back and forth. The stars are so far away, I struggle to understand how they can control so much of who we are." Steve pondered.

"I do believe in it." You nodded. "The moon controls our oceans, the tide is physical proof. Our bodies are made up of 60% water, and all of the other elements we're made up of were formed in the stars over the course of billions of years. It's hard for me to believe they don't have a say in what's going on down here."

"I've never thought of it that way." Steve grinned. "It's really magical when you put it like that."

"Maybe you're made up of more stardust than the average human considering your eyes seem to twinkle like they're already up in space." You noted. "It's magical, but it's also equally devastating to feel like the bad parts of your life are written into the stars."

"We need the not so great stuff to help us understand how amazing the good stuff is. Can't see the stars if the sun is out." For some reason, his perspective brought you comfort. It felt like the hug he kept you wrapped up in. "Maybe that's always why I've thought so highly of you. Despite the darkness you've continued to show excellence, and shine brighter than the rest."

"Then maybe I'm a supernova because sometimes I really do feel like I'm going to explode." You giggled at your own realization.

"Even then you'd still shine a million times brighter than the sun!" Steve enthused, big smile on his face. "But don't explode, black holes are terrifying."

"I won't. That's why I came up here. Avengers only access, don't have to worry about anybody else or the damn sprinklers."

"When I was in the Army, drawing was my version of looking at the stars. It was the only way I could really get my mind to quiet down." Steve explained. "Back then, I was miserable. All the army men hated me, I had recently lost my mom, and I thought I killed Bucky. The war was so horrific I didn't think I'd ever be able to recover from what I had to do or what I had to see, and I felt even worse for the innocent lives taken in the whole ordeal. So, when I knew that I could end it... I did."

"You're a hero because of it." You agreed, feeling a bit confused by his words.

"No, you don't understand." Steve denied. "The plane crash that got me stuck in the ice? I could've gotten out. There was a chance for me to jump out of the plane, but I didn't. I didn't see the point."

Your heart sank at the implication of what he was confessing to you, and all it wanted to make you do is just hold him tight and weep forever. But you knew that wasn't the point, you knew you just needed to keep listening.

"I can't say that I regret it, because had that never happened I would've never gotten to enjoy living a life I never imagined, and I would've never met you, or the Avengers." He explained. "But it made my life far more complicated, and at least once a day I imagine what my life would've been like had I just gotten myself to safety, and that imagining- the 'what's ifs?' is something I'd never wish upon anyone. I do know how you feel, and much like you know the moon controls the ocean, I know things will get better. All you need to do is believe it."

Your eyes momentarily squeezed shut to rid them of the tears blurring your vision. They dripped down your cheeks as you shook your head, and his brave vulnerability made you realize that you always loved him, but in this moment you had fully and irrevocably had fallen for him. It was as if there was no more questions in your mind, you couldn't even understand anymore why you hadn't been with him way before this whole mess. It consumed every single one of your emotions, you simply couldn't ignore it anymore.

"I would never, Rogers, never." You confirmed with a cry. "I can't lie, I've been pushed to thinking about it, but it made me realize that I couldn't do that to you, my parents, Luca. Nobody. I love you so much, and I really hate to hear that, but I'm really glad you're here."

"Maybe this is what was written in the stars." Steve reached his hand up and used his thumb to gently swipe tears off your cheeks. "Maybe all of this was meant to happen so that this moment, right now could teach you that no matter what happens, you'll always have people to catch you at the bottom should you feel like you have nowhere else to go."

"Or maybe the lesson is that the idea of our existences happening at the same time is so unlikely that we have no choice but to listen to the universe." You said quietly, almost coming to that realization in real time. "Maybe you were always meant to be mine."

Steve's heart nearly pounded out of his chest as you spoke those words, then, as you looked up at him and closed the distance between your lips, he felt like a supernova too. He was burning hotter and brighter than ever before when your soft lips connected to his, his chest was mere seconds away from exploding when you pulled away to examine his shocked face.

Trying to process what had just happened, the sound of your giggles at his twinkling eyes and blushed cheeks grounded him and pulled him right back down to earth.

"Wait hold on..." Steve clutched his chest.

"Are you going to throw up?" You asked, wiping the last of your tears off your face as your smile took over.

"I think I need to sit down." He stated, finally making eye contact with you.

Your laugh boomed once again. "You're already sitting!"

"Okay, then I need to lay down." He said, readjusting to lay down on your blanket.

Your smile persisted as you laid down next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, your hands intertwined. "This is better than you throwing up."

"Wait..." Steve spoke, looking up at the moon.

You turned your head to look at him. "What?"

"Again" He insisted, turning his head towards you too.

It took a lot of effort to contain your smile enough to kiss him, but you did, and it felt just as right as the first time. Keeping it short and sweet, it didn't take long for Steve to point to the stars.

"I like these bitches, they're being very nice to me right now" He smiled.

Admitting to how hard you laughed at his statement would simply be too embarrassing, but it was hard enough to yell at him for further irritating your bruised rib. "Now you can't get mad at me for calling you Twinkles."

"You can call me whatever you want, Love Bug."

Butterflies in your stomach erupted in flutters at his choice of nickname. "A cancer and a Gemini, who would've thought?"

Steve shrugged. "It works."

"What now?" You asked with a sigh, you didn't know if you were asking Steve or the stars.

"You fight your ass off in a trial against Harvey, you help us out in an investigation on him and everyone that's been tormenting you, you continue doing what you're amazing at, and you keep that beautiful smile on your face because all of this is about to change." Steve explained. "This was the fuel we needed to start a fire around the compound. It's enough to light the whole place up and change the status quo. By the end of it, it's going to improve the lives of every agent in the program, that's my vow to you."

All his words sounded appealing and genuine enough to believe them.

"Pinky promise?" You raised your pinky on the hand that wasn't already holding his.

"Pinky promise" He connected his pinky with yours, then kissed the back of his hand... then your forehead... then your lips.

He knew confidently, now more than ever, that his love for you transcended time and space. The laws of life, love, nature, and even the stars never applied to the connection you two shared.

Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was coincidence that the boy born in 1918 had a chance to fall so deeply in love with a girl who didn't live in the same era as him.

Or maybe everything did happen for a reason. Maybe your life was already mapped out in the stars, and all you had to do was find the right constellations.

You would always have infinite questions about the intricacies of the universe, but out of all the answers you are confident in, you knew two things for certain.

Steve was your North Star. So long as you had him to guide you, you always knew you'd be on the correct path. You'd always get where you needed to go, and he would always be there for you regardless of what season of life you were in.

He was your star crossed lover.

Next Part: May 20th

Taglist: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bigtreefest @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

[kikyoupdates]

⭑˚💞⭑ yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, isekai

A desperate cry on your deathbed leads to you being given a fresh start at life. You're overjoyed at having finally obtained a healthy body and a real chance at living normally, only to discover that you've been transported into a yandere game, where danger lurks at every corner. Determined to protect your new life at any cost, you vow to stay as far away from the major characters of the game as possible. But things don't always go as planned.

00 — prologue 01 — a living miracle 02 — taking precuations 03 — swinging like a champ 04 — mr. two-faced 05 — the protagonist's arrival 06 — and so it begins 07 — stranger danger 08 — unexpected kinships 09 — not a partygoer 10 — awfully persistent 11 — trying a new approach 12 — top of the class 13 — swords and scones 14 — insatiable appetite 15 — an unwanted partner 16 — too close for comfrot 17 — academic distinguishment 18 — never ask for directions 19 — royally screwed 20 — call it payback 21 — stay disciplined 22 — tavern shenanigans 23 — pricked by a rose 24 — concerning weakness 25 — on school grounds 26 — knights tourney 27 — unpleasant discussion 28 — taking chances 29 — heavy heart 30 — library brainstorming session 31 — a friend's duty 32 — intoxication 33 — the aftermath 34 — dancing without a care 35 — personality shift 36 — clean slate 37 — worst date ever 38 — threatened 39 — feelings awry 40 — happiness 41 — a taste so sweet 42 — in denial 43 — revelation 44 — endless dream 45 — bereaved 46 — a hidden smile 47 — going to be okay 48 — thief's penance 49 — enraged 50 — hope and despair 51 — a sickening arrangement 52 — in theory 53 — to challenge fate

-ˋˏ ༻ Special Chapters༺ ˎˊ-

✿ halloween! 🎃 ✿ christmas! 🎄 ✿ valentine's day scenarios ✿ what could have been

More chapters are available on Quotev!

⊱.⋅follow + post notifications on for story update announcements or join the author's discord!⋅.⊰

💞 main masterlist ♡ character appearances

[wordsarelife]

if you’re thinking of writing anything w regulus black x reader 💓💞 like hc’s about what he would be like in a relationship (would he open doors for u, tie ur shoelace etc etc, restaurant dates) or where reader is all like enemies to lovers with him ?? thank u bby

—dating regulus black

pairing: regulus black x reader

summary: headcanons of being in a relationship with regulus black

warnings: none

authors note: did it a bit different than you asked, let me know if I should do a prequel or anything!!

reading your favourite book to him on the astronomy tower, while his head rests in your lap and you're combing through his hair

he's more of a listener, so when you're having dinner in the great hall, you engage in loud conversation, while he just sits and listen, holding your hand under the table

picnic dates where you swap previously read and annotated books and lay on a blanket all day reading them

brought you a record player from hogsmead, that he keeps in his dorm, so you can listen to your favourite songs while you're spending time with each other

he sometimes dances with you in the dark of the astronomy tower, the first time he had said that all the lessons he took had to be good for something at least

swapping love letters or just short little poems you read and wrote down that remind you of each other

regulus is a really thoughtful person, you sit next to him in class and he often brings you quills and paper, because you often forget them. he has always an extra set for you

you're always wearing one of his rings, at the same time he never takes of the little friendship bracelet you had made for him even before you started dating

you're the only one who's allowed to call him 'reggie'

on those evenings you can't sleep, or everything just gets too much, he stays awake with you and reads your favourite chapter of your favourite book, waiting until you eventually fall asleep in his arms

he often buries his head into your hair, because he loves the smell of it. you never stopped buying the same shampoo after you had noticed that

as stated before, he doesn't talk much around other people and he's not really a big fan of pda (he's more of an behind closed doors kinda boy and generally a very private person)

but what he does is say little phrases of encouragement, during school or just sometimes when he deems fitting. for example: "keep going, baby" or "you can do it, sweetheart"

he's used to you so much, that sometimes he just knows when you need time to cool off, so he keeps quiet and combs through your hair

he thinks its funny when you get mad about something someone else did, you're a big ranter. he just watches you, smiling, as you run around the room and utter different sentences in disbelief

occasionally when you do that, you will turn to him and ask him things like: "do you believe they've done that?" and he will answer: "that's really shitty of them, baby"

honestly, he doesn't even care about the others (obviously he does when anyone hurts you etc) but he could listen to you rant for hours

you go to every single one of his quidditch games, enjoying just watching him play

after the games, you often find yourself in the slytherin common room at the piano (just imagine they had one there) while he teaches you note for note how to play it right

every time regulus shows you how to do something (like dancing or playing the piano) he's very patient with you, never rushing or raising his voice when it takes you longer to figure something out

overall you have a super healthy relationship, because you’re honest with each other and talk a lot about your feelings. that wasn’t easy for regulus at first, but you grew up in a pretty loving and open household where you regularly discussed you’re feelings so you helped him learn how to do that. at least that way you could teach him something too.

[hansumswife]

ᴛᴏᴜʀ

chris sturniolo x angelina hamilton

chapter one

ALL OTHER PARTS

sturniolo.triplets

Liked by SkylarHamilton, MattSturniolo and 583,726 others...

sturniolotriplets TOUR DATES! TICKETS GO ON SALE AUGUST 9TH 2:30 PST 5:30 EST! Excited to see you guys 🦌🦈🦇

nicksturniolo Bats on top 🦇🦇🦇

chrissturniolo 🦌

user crying from europe

-> skylarhamilton ME TOO GIRL!! 😭😭

user BUYING TICKETS RIGHT NOW?!!?!!!!!

user raaah they all look so good 😍😍😍

skylarhamilton praying to god you just randomly switch up and come to the uk 🙏🙏🙏

-> sturniolotriplets Another time maybe 🤷‍♂️

-> skylarhamilton SCREAMING WHAT

-> skylarhamilton NICK PLS BE YOU I LOVE YOU 💕💖💗💞

-> nicksturniolo Love you more!!

-> skylarhamilton I DIED.

user Y'ALL IM SO EXCITED

user THRE CMIS TO MY CIY WTF OMG IM ROLNG ONIUA  TE FLOOR I CAT BREATHE HELp

-> mattsturniolo Lmao me too

user WHY ARE THE TRIPLETS SO CASUAL LMAOO ITS SCARY

user id beg my mom to go but she just wouldn’t let me 🥲🥲👎

user THE TICKETS ARE BOUGHT

mattsturniolo See y'all there 👋👋

Skylar Hamiltons birthday had been hectic already and it was only lunch time. First of all Skylar had woken up way before Angelina which was unplanned as Angelina had saved the decorations for the morning, the girls cake hadn't been finished by the bakery, some of her presents still hadn't come in the mail and most of the teenagers friends hadn't knocked at the door to join her party.

Angelina had tried her very best to make do with what they had. Turning blowing balloons up into a 'party game', picking up a cake that didn't fit the theme from the stores instead, and was currently trying her best to make a fun party even though only three out of the twelve girls invited had shown up.

What annoyed the siblings was that they had notice. It wasn't like it was a rushed invitation that had been handed out at the start of the week. No, in-fact they had invited people at least two months before to know what to prepare for, the girls who hadn't shown up had been in the group-chat that was made and were seemingly excited about it all.

But what pissed off Angelina more than it did Skylar, was that the girls who didn't show up were hanging out together and posting it on their public stories on every possible social media account possible. Lord knows she was damn near pulling up and screaming in their faces, but she kept herself calm.

So Angelina sat on the sofa and watched Skylar and her three friends; Jess, Sophia and Charlie. They were currently playing a stupid game one of them had bought over. It was some type of card game that had them rolling on the floor in laughter, so Angelina couldn't complain.

All she was waiting for now was the doorbell to ring. Her phone sat on her thigh, refreshing her texts every few seconds (sometimes minutes as she would zone out or get distracted by the teenagers in-front of her).

Once the doorbell rang she would be able to collect Skylars main present, the one she had bought not too long ago after doing quite a lot of research after the teenagers ramble in the kitchen one morning a few weeks ago.

"That's not even funny! I'm just— I'm—!" A cackle tuned itself in too Angelinas ears. Jess was struggling to catch a breath whilst speaking, Skylar and Sophia were both laid back on the carpeted floor with their hands on their stomach. The sound of laughter not even escaping their mouths as they were laughing that hard. Angelina smiled to herself, snapping a few pictures of the three that she would make sure to send to them all like she had been doing all night.

The TV played quietly behind them, a youtube video playing of the brothers their car, discussing something random topic each time Angelina would pass by. Skylar seemed to enjoy their channel a lot, along with the friends sat in the living room, and Angelina didn't really watch any youtube at all so she was open to anything. She would consider herself a 'fan' but not like the type she's seen occasionally on her for you page.

The dark skinned girl snapped out of her thoughts as the doorbell rung, the teenagers in-front of her not even noticing in the midst of their fit of laughter. Angelina stood up and walked towards the door where her friend, Maya, stood behind the wood.

Maya smiled towards Angelina, "Hey! How are you?"

"I'm good you? You have the thing?"

"Yeah I'm good, and of course." Maya smiled towards the dark skinned girl. Lifting the small, sealed envelope that was sat in her hand. "I would stay but I gotta run, tell Skye I said happy birthday!"

Angelina nodded with a smile, shouting a 'thanks' as the girl walked back towards her car, shutting the door and moving back into the living room. The group of teenagers were now sat on the sofas, the TV's volume turned up slightly as they were all focused on the current video playing.

Charlie looked up as Angelina walked in, "Hey, where'd you go?”

"Got something for the birthday girl." Angelina smiled, gently chucking the envelope onto her sisters lap which caused Skylar's eyes to drift downwards and her eyebrows to raise.

"What is it?" Skylar questioned, Angelina only shrugging in response and plopping herself down on the other sofa. Sophia and Charlie only smiled as they encouraged the girl to open the envelope quicker.

Inside the envelope was a small sheet of paper, small graphics decorating it. "Read it out then!" Sophia sighed, nudging Skylar in the ribs. Skylar only beamed a bright smile after skimming through the note.

"Dear Skylar, you are invited to the Sturniolo triplets verses tour in Orlando Florida on the eighteenth of October. Unluckily for you, your sister will be joining you but I hope you have a good time. Your flight leaves in three days, get packing."

The four girls squealed all together, jumping up and down in a small group huddle. Skylar separating herself from the other three and jumping onto Angelina, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome Skye, just know you're doing the dishes for three days."

tags: @st7rnioioss @its-jennarose @timmyscomputer @kriissy4gov @liz-stxrn @sunrisemill @mattssluttywaist @riasturns @mx0qin @junnniiieee07 @sturnzsblog @mattslolita @ariieeesworld @alorsxsturn @nonameisthegameandilovejake

[axenyan]

Hey!

I hope my ask won't come off as mean, I am coming here with genuine curiosity and love!!

I personally never saw the appeal in Ritsu and feel SUPER curious to see how other people (esp. ritsu enjoyers) see him! :0 What is it abt ritsu that makes him as appealing to you as he is! I have a hope that maybe reading someones enthusiasm and love for a character rambled on in text will help me find affection for the character too! :] (Happened with Leo.. tumblr made me a Leo enjoyer 😔)

- A huge kaito and zenji enjoyer

(Feel free to ignore this ask! I'm just curious <3 and again, sorry if this comes off as mean in any way ;;)

Hello!!

No no no, this didn't come off as mean! In fact, I'm super happy I received this ask🥺 I need more people to know how baby he is.

I'm not good at analysis, and English is not my first language, so this is just me rambling about why I love him. I also apologize for the grammatical mistakes I may have made >_< hopefully I can still get my points across!

Alright, let's go~!

I haven't posted the full pic of this art anywhere because it's an eternal WIP.

∘₊✧────────✧₊∘ How it all started ∘₊✧────────✧₊∘

A friend showed me Ritsu's introduction post because she thought Ritsu looked like the type I would fall for in terms of design, and she is absolutely right.

However, upon reading his quote, I was unsure if I would like his personality, so I took my friend's recommendation with a grain of salt.

∘₊✧──────────✧₊∘ Getting to know Ritsu ∘₊✧──────────✧₊∘

At the beginning of Sinostra chapter, I was still 50/50 about him because he is, ugh..... 😭 We never met him before, and yet he already had our info?! Not just ours, but everyone's?

Plus, bro keeps yapping and is also a bit forceful... That's annoying as heck. But then I remembered I have another favorite character with quite a similar personality: Sebek Zigvolt (Twisted Wonderland).

I tried to see if they had similar traits, and apparently, they did.

Apart from being in their first year of high school (baby!!!), they are resilient, pay careful attention to their appearance, talk a lot, and are keen on achieving their goals... but they're also a little obsessive about it, and the way they do their things could come off as annoying for other people.

And I was like... oh, hm. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Then I continued reading the story and noticed several moments where Ritsu got flustered, for example, when Taiga called him out because of his handwriting.

It's one of the points where I realized he might be my next mistake... because I like characters who are difficult to handle and get flustered when being teased or when things don't go their way. 😭 Those characters make me say "I love you, you are so cute, but why are you like this??!" 😭 I feel like I can freely pinch their arm when they start being silly. 😭😭😭

After reading Sinostra chapter, I paid more attention to his campus dialogues and home lines. I had a discussion with my friend, and we concluded that he actually has good intentions, but the way he does his things is unusual. I think that's what makes him unique (albeit creepy at times 😭).

I'll take his affinity lv2 home line as an example:

“You’ve lost your notebook? Just a moment. …At 9:04 AM, it was inside the photocopier. Yes, I do have that information recorded.”

I mean, who the hell does that? I appreciate the help, but why does he know the location of our missing notebook just from his recording? Why?😭

∘₊✧──────────────────────────✧₊∘ Moments that make me go uefhuehgfu💞💞💞 ∘₊✧──────────────────────────✧₊∘

Being a little twerp aside, I like how he can be understanding(?) and open to new things.

He has a line like this. This is from the summer lines.

“You want to go and watch the fireworks? A rather childish request, but all right. So? Where would one go to view them?”

He thinks our request is childish but he agreed to go!!! Usually, a prideful character like him would just brush us off, but he didn't...

Another example is his ramen talk with Ren in episode 7. It seems he isn't used to eating food like instant ramen because he's been eating ramen at an actual ramen shop, but he is willing to try it. He even did his research before buying. 🥺

∘₊✧─────────────────✧₊∘ How I personally perceive him ∘₊✧─────────────────✧₊∘

Now that I've learned more about him, I think he is:

A good boy with a clear goal but a questionable way of executing his plan.

Adorable and round... I want to poke his cheeks.

Inspiring! I like how studious and organized he is. I even started writing more in my journal because of him.

Willing to try new things! I admire this about him!

Cute-- wait, I've mentioned that. Okay, he is silly. Please look at his action in episode 8 where he was mostly with Taiga. He did his best to keep a watch on his captain, literally doing everything he could, like using his stigma to be a doorstop 😭

In short, I find him endearing. I want to slap him at times but I still find him endearing. I don't know if it's a suitable word to describe it, but it's how I feel about him. `(*>﹏<*)′

Again, this is my very personal take on his character so I might be biased at some points, but I hope this could help you find a thing or two about Ritsu!

[hanafubukki]

Hi ! Here cottage life with Lilia and the Knight of Dawn as Silver mom in the past Anon (I think I will need to find myself an smiley-)

First, thank you ! I'm happy this idea please you and other people 😊

But yes this OT3 is so so cute- My brain run free for it since then.

The relationship those three have...it's just melting my heart 🥹 The perfect trio. Lilia is a bit jalous that the first baby isn't from him -bat boi have his pride- but he just love Silver so much it doesn't matter much 🥺 Little funny fact about Lilia/Knight bromance: before Silver birth, him and the Knight (need to find a proper surname for him-) had a discussion. Like they didn't know who was the father between them, they had a unique way to deal with it: after the baby birth- when who is the father will be more clear- the guy that isn't the bio dad would name the baby. So no one would felt left away from the family.

Lilia blessed the baby at birth, and like in Chapter 5, the baby hair turned white. So Silver's name was back like that 😂

So much things about them...like, rumors runs fast thanks to the forest fairies. But the little family -except when Lilia is called to the castle- don't go often outside to not scare any fairy. So...one day, a toddler Silver ran away to the famous "Castle" were "Dada Lilia" was kept against his will by "This cruel brat of a Princess who want him to "babysit" (Something really cruel and scary from Dada Lilia word-). So Meleanor first encounter with Lilia rumored "son" was this child -monkey- pleading her to -politely- give his Dada Lilia back.

And this is only some funny story 😭 The guilt our time traveler could felt is also interresting. Silver was born and will grow up way before what he was supposed to do. Did this child is -will be- even the same Silver she knew ? And he will never met Sebek in this life. Will this child will be ressentful ? What kind of right does she have to change history -fate- like that ? What will happen if she dissapear, like she came- and go back to her time ? What will happen to her new found family, her husbands, her child ?

But a single giggle of her lovely silver haired baby is enough to make her worries dissapear in a smile. How scary it is, to be so happy at the point you fear the day it will be end.

(References: Fanfic, Ask 1, Ask 2)

Hello Cottage Life Anonie 🌻🌺💚

I’m labeling you Cottage Life Anonie until you find a emoji or nickname you prefer ☺️🌺 please feel free to choose whichever that makes you comfortable and happy.

Anonie you have no idea how happy I was when I saw you in my inbox, I was already kicking my feet in excitement ☺️🌺

Hehehe my evil plan of getting more people to like this OT3 is working 😈🙌 lolol I’m really happy that you and others like it. It makes me happy and I’m glad I can share these thoughts with others who like it too.

A knight of dawn x reader x lilia vanrouge pairing has so much potential and routes that I’m just thrilled at all the possibilities 💞💞

Lilia being jealous of the first child not being his is adorable. I can just see him make that face that says he’s pouting but denying it 😂 but he adores Silver so much and he’s also your child, so how could he no love him? Baby Silver with his glittering eyes and you just being so loving with him is perfect.

I adore that agreement Knight and Lilia had about naming the child. It’s so sweet and smart! And another way to include the mutual partner! No one is left out and everyone is loved 🥹 it’s so sweet!! (We need a name for Dawny, I hope we get one for him in twst 🙏)

Oh oh Anonie! Now that you mention the hair color change, some theorize (because of the sprite) that the upper layers of Knight’s hair is blond and the bottom layers are silver!! So if that’s the case, Lilia just turned Silver’s hair fully silver which is also what Dawny has on his lower tresses so this bromance keeps getting sweeter and the connection is still there 🥹

Absjsjshs tiny Baby Silver just toddling away to the castle to save his Dada Lilia like a true knight in shining armor!!! That’s so freaking adorable 🥹💞😭 I can imagine that the little fairies that love Silver and love mischief helped teleport him to the castle where he meets Meleanor and Lilia. You have this sweet child asking so nicely and the Queen’s heart just melts (she also adores his bravery). Meleanor then tries to smite Lilia because of the “bratty” comments 🤣🤣

Now I can imagine Meleanor require a weekly dinner with everyone, she can see Baby Silver, and if malleus is hatched, he can have a playmate. She can also meet the Knight and the Reader (not on the battlefield for once). It’s awkward at first but nothing that time and Silver’s bubbly laughter can’t fix 🥹💞

There’s so many angst potentials! Ahhhh the guilt of the time traveler wife. Silver not growing up with Sebek, not living in the same timeline ( would his friend be mama zigvolt in this case? 🤔).

Would wife tell the husbands about her situation? What happened in her timeline? I feel like if they knew they would understand, and their hearts would ache from the sacrifices she made to have them be happy. 🥹😭

I want to focus a little bit on the if she ever went back to the present, well, this new present that’s the same yet so different. I feel like if YN did go back she would at first be devastated once she realizes she’s back and what she lost. But but but, we have powerful fairies on our side. 👏🙌

I believe in this case, with the help of Meleanor and Lilia (maybe even Levan? He’s smart so he might know more about it). They would put both Silver and The Knight of Dawn to sleep until they are reunited with YN 🥹💚

So, this would solve a few problems actually! Sebek would be in the picture again, and we have Malleus and his parents, and of course, we have Lilia too.

Lilia could be waiting for YN at the spot she said she was teleported from the first time and they could have their reunion before waking the other two. 🥹💞💞 The reunion would be so sweet between the four. Lilia was waiting but at least he had his sister and baby malleus and the rest of his family and friends while he waited. He can go to that cottage and relive memories and remind himself of his loves.

The way this OT3 AU has a grip on me 😭💞💚

Anonie, Anonie, I am shaking you.

“How scary it is, to be so happy at the point you fear the day it will be end.” This line!! This line!! Oh my heart. 😭💞💞

Thank you for sending this in Anonie 💚🌺, ahhh I’m enjoying this so much and my mind is whirling with so many possibilities. You’re my partner in crime now ☺️🌺

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

Ghost x City Girl Reader

You expected Ghost to leave you before the morning; he usually does. However, you're surprised to see him rush to your aid after being woken up by violent night terrors. A sweet and unexpected moment between you, that only ends as quickly as it began.

Tags: Romance, Drama, slight Hurt/Comfort, slight Angst, Intimacy, Fluff that turns sour, Mask-Kissing, Arguing, Swearing, Enemies to Lovers, FWB, Jealousy, Toxic Relationships, "Couples", Arguing, Swearing, A Little Melodramatic, I'm aiming for something more real though, Reader is somewhat bratty and immature, Ghost is bad at communicating his feelings, Damaged people not knowing how to talk to each other and let their walls down, reader has night terrors, I wanted representation!

WC: 4.5k~

Author's Note: I'm back from Vegas! I was on a drunken bender on Fremont St. partying with my brother for his birthday this week (I talked to a lot of interesting people too 😏). This chapter might be a little different, I don't know? I'm not gonna lie, after this chapter, the tone is about to take a shift. Please enjoy~

Also, thank you so much @argella1300 for helping me out when I asked. Your insight was greatly appreciated and it really meant a lot! 💞

Masterlist

It came in the dim shade of dusk, tucked in by shadows of your hall -- the abnormally tall silhouette of a man. Stalking you. Haunting you.

He looms at the brink of your hallway, expressionless, unmoving, and yet somehow inching forward all at once. With each step he closes between you and himself, an encroaching darkness fills the room behind him within the blink of an eye.

Who was he? It's a question you've had since adolescence. The answers never felt as true as his unsettling existence.

The world around you is silent, fogged as though you were being held underwater, your mind racing at an incoherent speed. The only sounds you hear are that of your own screaming. You knew what was happening; your body and mind had just been unable to control it.

Night terrors.

You've never told anyone about them before; you've never felt any need to. It's not exactly a hot topic of discussion, nor something you could even put forth any real value into if asked; you can't explain something you don't understand.

They haven't been anything beyond a waking three-minute inconvenience. An on-and-off occurrence throughout your life. But once it happens, there'd be no avoiding it.

They send your body into a mindless, cold panic, the only emotion coursing through your veins being the unknown fear that first woke you. Your arms thrash frantically as you scream, your body feeling as though it were being grabbed by a million hands...

Don't touch me, your mind cries out. Don't touch me. Don't touch me...

...Until you've felt the one, very real hand touch your shoulder, taking with it the darkness you'd thought had all but swallowed you whole and replacing it with the waking world around you.

The morning returns, as do the rest of its unpleasant realities.

"Hey." That deep and raspy Manchester voice is the first sound you finally register, and for once in your life, it couldn't have sounded any sweeter. "Hey," Ghost says again, placing both hands gently over your shoulders to wake you. "Everything's OK. You're in your living room."

Your chest heaves shallow breaths when sitting up on your couch, taking in your surroundings. That's right, you're still in your living room. You'd almost forgotten you'd passed out on your couch last night, now catching the breaking dawn which pooled through your windows.

It always takes you a moment to regather yourself after it happens, having to make sense of what had been real versus some strange in-between with you and your REM state. In those moments, everything felt real, and fake all at once.

Even the shattering and reforming of reality around you could not take your mind from Ghost's hand, which remained wrapped protectively over your arm, fingers trembling with the hesitancy of his own actions.

"Are you alright?" His dark eyes look your face up and down, taking in every twinge your lips made and how your eyes seemed to look in every direction but his own, still glossed over and dazed from sleep. "You just started screamin' out of nowhere."

Once his words run through your head a few more times, you realize that you'd made a scene right in front of the one person you hadn't wanted to know this about you, a new detail he no doubt did not expect from you at all.

Ghost has known you to be many things -- seductive, witty, cold, distant, and near every other synonym in between. He's heard your voice moan in pleasure more times enough to recognize it within a crowd; he's heard you hurl enough insults his way to send even the hardest of soldiers home crying and insecure.

Never has he heard you scream like this before, with such fear and strife. In fact, he can't think of a single time you've ever been so frightened around him. To see a glimpse of that had been more unsettling than he wished to let on.

He'd only woken up a few minutes shy of you, having slipped away to fix himself up and reset his balaclava. His lips had still felt stained by your kiss from last night, the skin on his face tingling off the memory of your touch alone.

Nearly two months he's spent with you in this odd, little fling and he's never actually kissed you like he had last night before. Never for so long. Never so deeply. He wouldn't allowed himself to. Kissing just for the sake of it always felt like a step beyond casual, as much as he often craved your lips on his most exhausting days.

Ghost must have stared at himself in the mirror longer than he should have, just chasing that feeling again, making himself sick with it. He debated on leaving before you woke, though he'd keep that to himself, having heard your screaming once he'd rounded the corner. In which case, Ghost ran to your aid without question.

His first thought had been that you were in danger; perhaps someone had broken in, or worse, you'd been hurt. You might get on the man's nerves, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't care about your well-being at least somewhat. He never wished any harm to you, and he damn sure wouldn't let anything happen to you if he can help it.

The archway between your hall and you had felt as foreign and distant as space itself, however. When Ghost found you on your couch, your arms writhing, and wide eyes locked on him with confusion and terror, he had frozen in place.

For a split second, he thought that fear had been caused by the sheer sight of him. And then, the strangest thing had happened -- it tore him to pieces being given a glimpse of a reality he didn't know he feared most of all. One where the sight of him brought you complete anguish.

Your screaming didn't stop when he approached you, nor had it stopped when he knelt beside you, saying your name and asking what was wrong, only falling on deaf ears.

Nothing had stopped your screaming, nor these emotions that ripped at him, until his hand had touched your shoulder, and you both felt the sensation of one another.

Your features calmed, your gaze softening at the sight of him, now having been pulled from that sudden trance. In a matter of seconds, you'd just barely managed to get your breathing to a more manageable pace, your heart not drumming so loudly in your ears. You played his words in your head, again and again, until you've slowly regained composure. Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Had you noticed he had this effect on you? Ghost imagines you'll only carry on as though it were just another thing; the kindest of gestures are often the hardest to notice in the moment, and you never did like to dwell. It only took years' worth of tragedies for Ghost to be able to recognize them himself. Though every now and then, it isn't something he can catch either. He only wishes this hadn't been one of those times.

Embarrassment and shame flood within you like a crashing wave, though you mask it in an annoyed groan, turning your body away from Ghost in hopes he'd take the hint and give you some space. You always hated when this happened around others, most of all around the men you slept with. Slowly, you prepared yourself for your usual dose of reactions.

"I'm fine," you say. "I just... I'm fine." You rub your hands over your face in defeat, before sinking your head into them with a low groan.

There had been reasons you didn't sleep over or have others do the same often, this being one of them. You didn't need to have another guy slowly ghost you because you scared him awake at 2am in a frantic panic; the best way to avoid it would be to not put yourself in the situation at all, right?

But what happened last night hadn't been like any of your normal nights with Ghost. Last night had been something... not quite the same. There had to be some reason you haven't sent him home yet otherwise. You wondered if it had been the same reason why he hadn't gone home yet either.

"Fuckin' hell," Ghost sighs. "You might've woken the neighbors with that one."

"It's nothin' they're not used to," you say casually, though the second you do, you wish you hadn't been so cavalier about it. You hadn't meant to invite him into your world like this.

However, no one had been more understanding of these sorts of troubles than he; Ghost knew what a pain it could be feeling as though you needed to explain emotions you had no control over. So he wouldn't ask you what that was about, or why you think it may have happened. He didn't need to know anything beyond the fact that you were OK.

"Well," Ghost sits down beside you on the couch with a dramatic "oomph", huffing to himself with a certain contentment to it. "I've been there."

"I'm sure you have," you groan. You couldn't help being sly with him, even now. It came out of you impulsively, knowing he'd always reward you with some form of attention you both could get something out of. Something you both let sit at the back of your minds all day.

You stretch your arms over your head feline-like, your body now finally feeling as though you'd slept in your living room instead of your bed. Your shoulder ached dully, your back already popping at each stretch you made with your body. The wonderful joys of aging.

"That's one way to get the blood pumpin' in the mornin', yeah?" Ghost jokes, he always did feel a little humor could lighten any mood. "You never scream like that with me."

"Perhaps you should do a better job then," you tease.

"Don’t tempt me, love."

Love. He doesn't call you that often. Only in your most intimate of moments. You hadn't felt your face smiling, but you knew you were.

You looked so innocently up at him after without even thinking. "Tempt you, Manchester?" You give the man a rather tired but still lurid look, bumping his shoulder playfully with your own. "Perish the thought," you say. "As if it's that hard to do."

"Oh, fuck off." Ghost sighs, and you can practically feel the man smiling beneath his mask. A smile that felt as warm as a heater come after a snowstorm.

Wind chimes clung lightly outside your window, the finches gathered at your bird feeder chirping blissfully. You both laugh lightly to yourselves, your arms faintly brushing at every small exhale from your noses. And you both sat there even after the laughter, simply looking off ahead of yourselves, with eyes still heavy from waking.

It had felt suddenly a tremendous task to look over at Ghost. Once you've worked up the courage, you catch him gazing out your window aimlessly, peacefully, his body settled into your couch as though he'd been with you the day you bought the thing.

And then he looks down at you. Maybe he felt you staring, but you never noticed how brown his eyes are, or how deep they could look in a dimly lit room. Similarly, he's never noticed how animated your own eyes are, always moving and observing some small, unknown detail. It made his skin crawl delightfully. Ghost would have thought that feeling to be a bad thing, and yet it had been quite the opposite.

Why don't we ever do this? You asked him that last night, and though he'd answered you, it hadn't been the entire truth.

A sudden burst of energy springs from you, pulling you from your seat and inviting yourself onto Ghost's lap, who leans back and lets you do so without question. Your legs settle over his boulderous thighs, humming lightly as he rests his hands back against your hips, sighing pleasantly to himself and looking back up at you.

Ghost did his best not to squirm around too much with you on top of him. It hadn't been the worst thing you two have done together. However, it wasn't common for things to feel so... easy. He could stay like this all morning if you let him.

Something tells him you felt the same way; you don't usually take this long to start getting to the point of things physically.

"What is it?" he asks.

"I'm surprised you're still here."

You watch your comment bring him to a short pause and find yourself now at the edge of your seat, arms resting gently over his shoulders and not being used to this sudden anticipation towards his answer.

Ghost had thought about being completely honest with you, admitting that he'd been equally surprised. That's when he woke up and saw you still sleeping on the couch next to him, it had been the hardest thing to even excuse himself to the restroom.

Your arms had been entangled around him, cuddled against his large shoulder like a giant pillow. You slept soundly beside him, peacefully, having felt so at ease with letting your guard down, all things considered. An innocent sight too far and few between bitter exchanges.

He's never slept over after before, nor has he ever held you in his arms like this. Yet, it had felt like the most sensible thing to do now, something as natural as breathing or blinking.

He found himself just watching you sleep for a while, still. In the early morning light that crept through your living room window, he sees all these details to you he's never had the chance to; you are beautiful. Truly. And he hadn't meant it in ways that were superficial or lustful. Genuinely, he really did find you a stunning woman. He's always found you so, even behind the toxicity.

Seeing you next to him had made him happy, and all at once, it hurt him the same, knowing this time would always be finite. You'd bore of him soon enough, only to call him later as another passing thought. Maybe one of these days, he'll gather the strength to stop answering.

Even now, with you over him like this, it's odd. He doesn't want to get up, and yet he does. He wants to pull you in closer, and he wants to leave. He can feel himself breathing, yet the sight and touch of you made the air catch in his lungs each time he went to inhale.

Maybe he could just blame that on the smoking.

"Good thing I was 'ere, yeah?" he finally quips.

"Right," you lean forward, letting your nose brush the tip of his just faintly enough for him to long for its sensation beneath his mask. You watch the blond of his lashes flutter innocently, with eyes wrapped up in you even more than they had been last night. "My knight in shining armor. You won't hear me complaining."

"That's a first," he teases.

"Fuck you."

Your kiss is what truly wakes him that morning, your lips sculpting the shape of his mouth through his mask and gently planting slow, light pecks. His arms hug around you warmly, with strong fingers gently grazing their way up your back. He always did like these rare occasions where you'd treat him softly; he liked to think it had been a side of you that only he had seen. Even as he knew it wasn't true.

You continue to kiss him for a little while, the man's hands only remaining comfortably at your back to keep you over him. Ghost wasn't sure how much more he could take of you wiggling about on his lap before he gave you what you were clearly looking for. But it wasn't until you started reaching for his mask that he felt a sudden bolt of lightning strike him.

Both his hands shoot up to grab yours, large fingers hooping across your wrist like cuffs, keeping you just out of reach from the brim of his mask. His sudden hesitancy makes you smirk, and already does he know that you're about to push his buttons.

"Aw," you tease, purposefully rocking your hips into him. It makes you giggle when he huffs to himself. "Feeling shy?"

"Not shy," Ghost says. "Just..." Vulnerable. Anxious. Wary. Careful. "...You know how it is."

"Aww," you start to pout mockingly. "Is that honor only reserved for the special girls in your circle?" you ask. "Or just the ones you don't fuck?"

"For the ones actually interested in sticking around," he says. "Instead of just being some fling."

You can't help but scoff, and Ghost can't help but tense up afterward, already preparing himself for an outburst. You certainly were good for them, and Ghost hadn't wanted to kid himself here either; this would all end soon enough.

It wouldn't be long now... and he knows he should pull away before that day comes. He's lost enough people in his life to recognize not to get close to something that won't last long enough to really matter. So he won't hold back his words with you. You can't have your cake and eat it too, he thought.

But some small, sad part of himself wanted you to fight his words, however harsh that storm would be, just like you always do.

Your shoulders slouch and your eyes drift off somewhere into the room. You couldn't make it more obvious that what he said had stung, in ways you hadn't even known you'd been capable of feeling towards him.

A fling. A piece of meat. That's how you liked to present yourself -- it's how you've viewed others too -- most of the time. So you can't get mad if that's how he sees it.

Yet every time that truth is brought to attention, it can't help but make your gut twist up in knots. As if some delusional part of you felt you could continue to sleep with Ghost and see other men as well without him caring.

You've been in a losing battle with Ghost since you first slept together. You knew on that night that any real formalities between you two were forever gone; you'd already spoiled so many of the first joys of being with someone, and it often left this feeling of things being too late to change. What you have now will probably always be what it is. So why can't you enjoy it for that while you still can? Why must he complicate things?

"I just wanted to kiss you," you admit.

It's the honest truth. You dreamed about his lips; his kiss had felt that good. You never expected him to have left such an effect on you, yet you've woken up, and the want to taste him has not subsided.

Ghost takes his eyes from you, dark orbs lowering to your lips as though to telepathically share the same thoughts as you.

"I..."

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Your eyes turn to the thunderous rumbling of your cell phone against your hardwood coffee table. A phone call.

Ghost looked back at you, expecting you to sit up and answer it. You merely turn back to him, letting it buzz until the call finally drops. You could always call them back.

As you've opened your mouth to speak, however, the phone begins to buzz again. Another phone call. It's this time that you've decided to sit up and see who it is; you freeze once you read the caller ID. Shit!

"Who is it?" Ghost regrets asking the second his voice lets the words rumble out.

"It's uh..." You stumble on your words, purposefully being coy, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"Your boyfriend?" Ghost answers for you, and your silence after speaks volumes.

Your boyfriend. Mr. Sweet and Super Understanding himself. This supposed "doomed" second relationship that has been nothing but highs since you've known him, if anything you told Ghost last night had been true. It figures he would call you so early this morning, you two had seemed close after all.

And like the strike of a match, his entire demeanor runs from cold to ticked off. Ghost can do nothing more than laugh to himself, shaking his head as though you'd just pulled the rug from underneath him and blown the ceiling off the roof of your prior delusions.

After all, you got exactly what you wanted here from him. He fixed your car, fucked you after, and now you get to send him on his merry way while you spend some real time with someone else.

Grumbling to himself, almost without him even knowing, he mutters, "I don't know what else I fucking expected-"

"He's not-" You struggle to find the right words to say, feeling as though every sentence spoken made a true difference between Ghost walking out of your life for good or not. The thought made you start to panic all of a sudden. "I'm not with him like that. You know this already."

You're right; he does know this. You haven't lied about a single thing since he drove over to jump your car. "Besides," you start to argue. "Why does it matter anyway? Why do you care? It's not like you want to be with me. You won't even let me look at you! You've said it yourself; I'm just some "slag" you sometimes like to fuck. Why the fuck do you care if I'm seeing someone who doesn't think that way about me?"

Because he hadn't felt that way about you. Not anymore. Not ever.

Never has he met a woman able to push his buttons so effectively, in ways all too familiar to his childhood. But at the same time, this woman, this human who unknowingly held so much power over him without even being aware, you equally found the littlest of ways to creep into his mind and bring him a bittersweet peace he had not felt since his youth.

But if he said that to you would you listen? Would you even understand? You've never been a woman to be tied down. He's known this. Who was he to think he'd be the difference when what you say is true. He has not been kind to you, not until it was too late, and now you've one foot out. How could he blame you for that?

And yet Ghost stands up, a bubble now having been burst. "As though you're so innocent," his voice raises, emotions finally starting to tip. He matches your hostile energy, his dark eyes glaring down at you, a mirror of wounded gazes. "How many times have I been here for you, only for you to cast me aside like an old toy you can just play with when you're bored? All I've ever been to you is an easy out; you've never cared what I've thought-"

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Ghost's eyes shoot down to your phone ringing in your hand, and you swear you've never seen him more upset.

A passing fear of him stepping over and snatching your phone from your hand passes over you, and your entire body language subliminally shifts in response. You instinctively take a step back from him, lightly turning your body to keep your phone from his reach. You'll be damned if he thinks he can try that.

He notices this small action, and a part of himself felt akin to his father, recognizing that fear in your eyes from his mother, even as you hide it behind a biting glare. That feeling alone could have done him in for good.

Though Ghost wanted nothing more than to answer that call and tell that other man to fuck off already, he had more self-composure and respect than that, along with his own moral obligations.

Still, it didn't take long for the conversation to take a turn, and from that point, it had been as though everything this morning had been but a slow build-up to an inevitable argument between you two. It always did come naturally.

It started out antagonistic from the jump. You questioned and belittled his sudden emotional flare-up, criticizing every one of his reactions and ignoring the obvious signs that you really needed to back off and just let him go. Or it would be better to say you didn't care for it.

To be frank, you didn't understand his frustrations. If other men had been such a problem, why does he keep coming back? What is it that he keeps seeking here?

Ghost hadn't been interested in spending his whole morning arguing with you, and physically feeling a grave be dug for the remains of your tarnished relationship. He moves around you and begins gathering his things, needing the air now more than ever.

"Hold up-" you approach him, throwing any caution or personal space out the window, as you've stopped a few steps shy of him. "Where are you going?"

"Back home." Ghost starts to put his boots on, the frustration he controlled in his voice being taken out by the aggression he used to tie his laces. "It's time I've made myself scarce."

"You're just gonna run off now? Just like that? I didn't take you for such a pussy, Manchester-"

"Don't push me, Spice," Ghost warns you. "I mean it."

"Or what? You'll leave?" you taunt. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want to."

"And that's the problem," Ghost says, standing up on his two feet and towering over you. "All you ever do is what you want. You never care how your actions affect others or what someone might think of them."

"What do you want from me, Simon?" You finally ask him, voice starting to rise, your chest puffing up aggressively. You'd curse him for getting you so emotionally riled up this morning.

What do you want from me? What do you want? A simple question that had been impossible to answer, because answering it would mean being honest with himself about what's happened with him here. It would mean being vulnerable.

"Stop calling me," Ghost says. "Stop seeing me. Stop being with me. We should never have done this in the first fucking place... This has to stop."

No longer did he wish to feel this way, to feel as though the worst parts of himself came at a constant full display with you. No longer did he want to feel himself slowly start to care for you, knowing that at any moment you could be gone. He's not sure he could handle something like that again.

Your mouth opens, and then it closes, and then you frown. Ghost thought you wouldn't say anything to him. He thought you might even cry. But no, you never were one to just leave things at that. You always had to say the last thing in an argument, and you never minced words.

"Then fucking go already," you say. "Get out. You won't have to worry about me calling you ever again."

Ghost didn't say anything after that, though he had looked at you for a little while longer. If you hadn't known him as well as you think you did, you'd say his brown eyes looked rather sad.

He moves away from you, making his way to your front door and unlocking it. He makes sure not to look back as you see him out. The man wouldn't be able to stomach the sight.

He remained on the other side of the door after you'd slammed it, feeling the wind hit his back and the sharp silence that it brought with it. Ghost then cocks his head back and closes his eyes, sighing in defeat. He felt the warm, morning air hit the little parts of his skin left bare for the air to kiss, and as though his mood couldn't drop any lower, he remembered he still had to go to work with you this morning.

Part Seven Coming Soon. Stay Tuned~

Since I'm trying to explore toxic relationships, I wanted to delve into the complexities a little (while not being so on the nose about it). They have their ups and they have their downs; they blend and happen all at once and take each other's places at every positive or negative interaction. You can have genuine moments of care and empathy with people you simultaneously butt heads and take issue with I feel; nothing is ever just black and white. I'm rambling and probably not making a lot of sense.

But, now that Ghost and the Reader are in the pits, they've gotta look within themselves and fix their shit if it's meant to be. I want to write them in a way where it's clear if they could just sit and figure out what it was they wanted from each other, then this could be something real if they let it. However, life waits for no one, and they're about to be in for a doozy. The mission i have planned for them is gonna be 👺👺👺

Taglist: @cabreezer0117, @homicidal-slvt, @deadbranch, @argella1300, @poohkie90, @glitterypirateduck , @sarraa-26, @quincessimus, @0-444-4444, @crazymela, @13thprogenitor, @joce2fine, @sapszilla, @dmitriene, @justherebecauseafarisucks, @zevrajalexxandra, @corvusmorte

[fictionadventurer]

Surprise self-rec time! Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 💞

These are probably too obvious, but here's the first three that came to mind.

More Than All the Gems on Earth: The story that started my journey into short fiction, and still one of my favorites I've written. It's one of my only retellings that feels like the definitive version of the fairy tale for me. All the other retellings of "Diamonds and Toads" I've seen assume that the good sister gets stuck with a man who marries her for her jewels, and this was my chance to reclaim the story and give this abused girl the happy ending she deserves. After a couple days of brainstorming and one glorious day of writing, I was pretty happy with the story that resulted, and it's stood the test of time for me.

The True Story: A story that felt kind of like a miracle. After two years of failing to write an epistolary story for the Inklings Challenge, I decided to focus on a simpler idea for the third year--only to wind up writing a 10,000-word epistolary story in 3.5 days. My homage to 84, Charing Cross Road and the Imaginary Book Recs, this was an amazing writing experience that started a whole new chapter in my creative life. It was so much fun to just let these characters talk about Imaginary Books I loved and let the story unfold from there. It wound up going deeper than I expected--it let me explore some themes about the wider reality beyond our visible world that have long fascinated me, and I find myself thinking about the spiritual discussion in this story surprisingly often. Between the philosophical discussion, the character voices, and the format, this story gave me a new understanding of what I could do with my writing, and I'll always treasure it for that alone.

A Wise Pair of Fools: Combining my retelling genre of "fairy tale character talking about their spouse" with my interest in character voice that developed while writing "The True Story" gave me this version of "The Farmer's Clever Daughter." This was just pure fun to write--Faith just showed up and started talking about her husband, and then Alistair chimed in, and they started interacting with each other and the audience, and it was just a blast. It may be too wordy and self-indulgent, but personally, I just love what resulted.

[m-ilkiee]

Welcome to the first Deadly Affairs poll/ Chapter discussion. I hope you enjoy it here!

brief warning: violence, torture and implied SA

We all know the complicated feelings Mikey habours for our dear reader, and Reader's not so secret sexual fantasies about him, but that's not the only member a bit too curious about our heroine.

It's apparent Bonten's Cash cow and reader have some tension (even if it seems one-sided... or is it?) brewing between them in the office. And the loyal dog seemed keen on making his Princess happy during that disaster of a party. In fact, word in the boardrooms say that the executives have a thing for reader. Not sure if it is murderous intent (ahem, Takeomi) or something more nefarious.

That aside, readers of the first chapter are quite curious about what Mikey or Haruchiyo could have done to make her so afraid of them, so I throw the question back to the audience:

Reblog in the tags or send an anonymous ask what you think they did and why you think it would have been enough to scare her based on what you briefly know about her character.

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Part 4 of First Times with Larissa please :)

Hey there @tahliama !! Of course, how could I refuse 😉

First Times Ch 4: We Interrupt this Program… ~Larissa Weems xFem Student!Sorceress!Reader

Here’s First Times Part 4! This chapter highlights how checking in with your partner is important, also talking about labels 💞 Smut to come in future chapters, but this one is mainly angst and fluff! PSA: it’s ok to have anxiety about things related to sex, especially if you’re a virgin. Not professional advice: but it’s always good to talk to someone, like your partner or a close person you trust ♥️

Link to Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch5

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!, masturbation, anxiety, implied anxiety attacks, overwhelmed!reader, angst, little fluff, implied mommy kink, mistress kink, pet names, implied future smut, etc.

Enjoy (;

After your soothing bath with Larissa, you returned to your room. Your mind was still spinning at your situation. It was surreal.

Who would have thought that you would be with Larissa Weems…??

Everything was everywhere all at once… To be clear, you weren’t against a relationship with Larissa, after all you were of age. But she was a stunning goddes… and you were an inexperienced teenager… it was all fucking crazy.

And then there was the fact of your apparent mommy kink…?!?

~~~

“Baby, be a good girl and take off mommy’s knickers for her…” Larissa moaned out in need, stopping you in the middle of you teasing her thighs.

Your breath hitched. Larissa’s eyes widened at her slip of the tongue.

“Yes… mommy…” you whispered, hooking your knickers with your teeth and taking them off.

~~~

You knew that Larissa hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but it just felt so natural…

You winced to yourself at the embarrassing idea of Larissa discussing that at your next rendezvous.

But the same puzzling thought ruminates in your mind the rest of the day…

Why would Larissa pick you…?

~~~

The entire week, your mind was working in overdrive around Larissa and your relationship. It was all you could think about.

Passing glances in the hallway with the blonde principal seemed like way more than they used to…

Little comments sent your mind further down the gutter…

Light touches sent your body into aching heat…

An aching heat which you would rush back to your dorm to relieve with your own shaky hands. You’d slam your dorm room door shut, not bothering to lock it, simply collapsing against it and snaking your hand past your knickers and into your soaked cunt.

God, that woman had such an effect on you…

You’d slam your head against the door in pleasure as you came around your fingers at the thought of the tall blonde. You’d then take a few moments to catch your breath, and then it was back to your daily schedule of classes.

Your week ended with an especially challenging Friday, leaving you worn out and even more anxious over the upcoming rendezvous tomorrow with the one and only Larissa Weems. You couldn’t wait any longer. Not even one night.

And that’s how you found yourself, knocking on Larissa’s office doors at 9:43pm on that Friday…

You entered her office with her word and took a deep breath. Larissa looked up from her work and her face lit up.

“Oh Darling…! What a pleasant surprise!” Her silky voice exclaimed.

You closed the door, while she indicated for you to sit. You did so. It didn’t take long for Larissa to notice your off demeanor and for her face to change quite quickly.

“What’s the matter, love?” She gently asked.

Your head rushed with anxious ramblings and your face went bright red.

“I… What are we…?” You spoke in a whisper.

Larissa pursed her lips.

“What do you want us to be…?”

You finally looked up to meet her gaze. Her eyes glistened with vulnerability.

“I— I don’t know…”

“Is this about the ‘mommy’ thing, Darling…? Because I sincerely apologized if that made you uncomfortable…” Larissa gently asked you.

“Yes—No… not really. It didn’t feel wrong, but it also didn’t feel right. It just got me thinking… And I can’t stop. I need to know what we are…”

“I understand that. Labels can provide safety and understanding in any relationship.”

You nodded, looking back at the ground.

“What would you like to be…?” She repeated.

You looked up once more, your feelings caught in yo ur throat.

“Yours…” you whispered.

Larissa gulped.

“Perhaps you’d be interested in a mistress/servant relationship…?” She gently offered, deflecting your vulnerable admittance.

“What is that…?”

“I’d be your mistress and you’d do what I tell you. It’s a type of power dynamic. Would that be the label your comfortable with?” She explained and asked.

Your eyes lit up with some hope at her words. You bit your lip and nodded.

“Yes… that sounds good, thank you.” You whimpered.

“Thank you, mistress…” Larissa lightly teased, making you giggle lightly.

Larissa then got up from her chair and came over to you, cupping your face and pressing a light kiss to your lips.

“Would you prefer to skip tomorrow, Darling…?” She asked, searching your eyes for any hesitancy.

You sighed, feeling like you were able for the first time this whole week.

“No, mistress. But maybe we can do something a little less intense…?”

“Of course, Sweet girl…” Larissa purred, “Now go get some sleep, you look exhausted, Darling…”

One final peck on your lips and you were off to bed for the night. And that night, you slept better than you had in weeks.

~~~

Ch 5 with new experiences… linked here 🤭

Larissa Weems Masterlist

Tag list: @snakeskins-world @friskyfisher @just-your-casual-nerd @scream-queenlover @bobia13 @justcallmelittleone @dopenightmaretyphoon @killer-quill @im-a-carnivorous-plant @larissaoftarthweems @what-a-violet-world @a-queen-and-her-throne @liliweems @ant0weems @principal-weems09 @larissaweemsgf @shyladyfan @leonorasbabygirl @simpsforwomen @psychopathicnightmare17 @walkethisway @wifeymaterialsstuff @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kimiinou @enchantressb @sicklygrlsicklygrl @larissa-weems-chokehold @teenybean @lucky1fancy4wolf @sapphicsbeloved @dingdongthetail @lovelyy-moonlight @thesamesweetie @wheresmyboo @dvrkhcld @tahliama

[animeomegas]

24 Hours - Epilogue

[Alpha!Reader x Multiple Naruto Characters]

Summary: You had spent the best part of a week married to each of your possible future suitors. You had enjoyed yourself immensely, but now was the hard part; you had to sort your life out and figure out which path you were going to pick... GN!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Warnings: Pregnancy stuff, swearing, vague descriptions of injuries, some n-sfw discussions.

(And here we are!! The epilogue is complete!!! This project has been a ride, but it’s all worth it to give to @omeganronpa​!! I hope everyone else has enjoyed also though, and I hope you enjoy the ending, even if it’s not the one you hoped for :D Merry Christmas!!!!!! 💞💞💞)

Word count: 9.4k

Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Epilogue

When you opened your eyes, you expected to see the purple-on-purple design of the fortune telling shop through clouds of incense, with the mysterious fortune teller hovering over you and smiling in that infuriating way that made you want to answer the question of whether to thank her or punch her with the answer ‘both’.

But no, you woke up in your shinobi, standard issue flat, in your boring, plain bedroom that never had time to be interesting or messy because you were never there. Your whole body ached from the mission you had almost forgotten you’d just done, but you pushed yourself into a sitting position regardless.

You were still wearing your mission clothes and you clearly hadn’t showered. It was almost too normal to find yourself in such a situation.

Had it all been a dream? No, you decided, definitely not. That was too much for a dream and what would anyone have had to gain from such a genjutsu. No, you really had lived an extra week in the future, and doubting the authenticity of it wouldn’t be helpful. But did that mean the fortune teller had carried you to your room? You felt strange that she’d seen you in such a vulnerable state and then gained access to your home, apparently bypassing all your traps, only to leave you lying on your bed. She had done you a great service, but that didn’t mean you trusted her enough to feel comfortable with that.

Ignoring the fact that you looked and probably smelt like shit, you jumped out of bed and ran through your house, barely remembering to grab the keys from your mission pack on the way and stormed down the stairs to the ground floor. You needed to see the fortune teller. She needed to explain herself to you.

You squinted against the bright light of the sun as you exited out onto the quiet street, but when you swivelled towards the fortune telling shop, you found it as empty as it had always been. The windows were unobstructed by purple curtains and the only thing you could see inside was small amounts of debris and an abandoned counter. Baffled, you walked to the door, noticing the fortune telling signs replaced by the old for sale price with an abysmally low price, and tried to push it open. Locked.

It was exactly as it had been when you went on your mission. Empty, abandoned, lifeless and containing zero fortune tellers or purple décor.

Completely bemused, you had no other choice but to return to your flat. It felt so cold after all the homes you’d spent the last six nights in. You had believed house and home to be synonyms previously, but the last week had shown you how wrong you were.

Regardless, you couldn’t believe the whole shop was just… gone!

You decided to get out of your clothes and hop in the shower; you’d be able to think and rid yourself of the dried blood and mud at the same time. You turned on the hot water, silently mourning the superior shower and bath at the Nara compound as you did and stepped under the water.

You stayed standing there for a few minutes, watching the brown water flow down the drain as you pretended that you hadn’t just had your entire world view turned on its head by a possibly-not-real fortune teller.

How were you going to pick? You ran through everyone you’d spent a day with as you squirted shampoo into your palm. No, it was more than that. It wasn’t just about picking a mate; it was about picking a whole life. You had so much you needed to do before you’d be in a position to take any mate and give them the version of you they deserved.

You needed to sort yourself out before you tried to court one of them.  

Your number one priority was to figure out how you could be in the village more often. The schedule you were operating on now was unsustainable, with or without a future mate, but you also couldn’t be a good alpha is you were never present for your omega. Unfortunately, you’d also be a pretty bad mate if you were completely broke and unemployed because you decided to stop taking missions. You had to find a middle ground.

It would be a slow process, and although it hurt your heart to think about going back to your lonely life there was no other choice; you wouldn’t be able to stop missions right away. But you could start working on something else, something that would allow you to switch to taking missions part time eventually. Or should you go for an in-village job?

No, you quickly dismissed that idea. You would miss the thrill and the travel that came with taking missions, so your first plan was better. So, what could you do part time while taking missions for the other half of your time? What were you good at? What experience did you have outside of the usual shinobi skills? What would be a good fulltime venture in the event that you were too injured to continue missions or for after retirement? You had to consider it all.

You took a moment to just appreciate the hot spray of the water once more. It was soothing to think in the shower, all the best ideas were born there in your experience.

As you pondered the question, you started thinking about what other ninjas had done and you found yourself considering Ino’s dad’s flower shop. A shop could be perfect. You were great at business; you had been thinking about that only yesterday when future Naruto was telling you about the business fairs Konoha was hoping to start.

The more you turned it over in your mind, the more you were convinced that it was a great plan. You started to feel enthused just thinking about it. You’d have normal hours to work around whatever family you had, you could easily hire someone to run it while you were on missions because running a shop didn’t require specialist skills and barring the most extreme injuries, you’d be able to do it fulltime if you were forced into retirement early.

Yes, you liked this plan. It felt right. It had you feeling hopeful for the future, something you desperately needed. What kind of shop though? And how could you afford it?

The image of the now empty shop under your flat came to mind immediately, mainly because of how cheap it was. It was a rundown commercial building in a residential area, it wasn’t like people were clamouring to buy it, but if that kind of property was all you could afford, you’d need a business that could survive in such a location.

What kind of shop wouldn’t need much foot traffic to survive? Perhaps a shop that people didn’t visit every day and were therefore more willing to travel out of the centre of Konoha for. What kind of shop could you run where the remote location was a selling point?

Hmm, you would have to think about it more, but buying the shop downstairs wasn’t a bad idea if you could figure out a business that would work.

The water was getting cold, so you stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, drying yourself off and trying to avoid aggravating any injuries.

Getting this business set up would be step one. Dropping to part time missions would be step two. Getting closer to all your friends and helping them out with your future knowledge would be step three. Then and only then would you think about a mate.

…

Despite your energy for change, your life continued much in the same way for another year or so, and while it hurt at first, you’d fallen into the familiar pattern pretty easily. The goal you had made it easier to preserve though; knowing you didn’t have to do this forever was energising.

You put away as much money as you could from every mission, trying to save up for that shop, but before you had enough and before you had a chance to deepen and create all these friendships you wanted to make, war broke out.

The war put things on hold for obvious reasons, and in the darkest days, you wondered how the futures you had seen could ever be possible, because it felt like no one and nowhere would be spared from the brutal destruction.

You had fought as hard as you could, for those perfect futures and for your present loved ones. But eventually, it was over, and you had won. Sasuke came back and you focused on rebuilding your village and your home. You had a lot of time to think about your shop as you cleared rubble and organised relief efforts. Haku turned up to Konoha not long after it was up and running again, and you knew it was time to start chasing that future once more.

You opened your shop exactly two years after the war had ended. It wasn’t under your old flat, because the whole building had been destroyed, but you went for a similar place. You needed somewhere a little more private, a little more hidden, for your store.

You created a shop for heat and rut supplies, but you specifically aimed it towards shinobi by, among other things, allowing multiple exits to and from the building, operating on weird opening hours a few times a week for shinobi who were on missions during usual opening times, and including specialist seals for protection and scent control that shinobi could use to feel safer during their vulnerable times.

You stocked everything you could think of. Toys, lube, informational books and porn, nesting materials, high calorie ration bars, seals, nest décor, water bottles, low effort recipe books, first aid kits, cleaning supplies designed to be odourless so they don’t interfere with the heat/rut, and so much more.

It was a slow start, many people not aware of your shop for the first few months, but shinobi were awful gossips, so every one of them that came to your shop spread the word and soon business was booming and the money followed not long afterwards. You hired some brilliant staff to cover your days off and missions, and everything went as smoothly as you could have hoped.

The war was over, the shop had been set up, missions were dropped to part time, and you had money rolling in. It was time for the final step: choosing a mate.

You had become closer with all the omegas you’d spent those futures with, after the war.

You had asked Shikamaru to teach you to play shogi, and now you played together every week, allowing him a break to indulge in his hobbies with you. He beat you every time, but you were getting better, and he seemed to like watching you grow and change as a player. He had never once let you win though even when you had begged for a the shallow ego boost.

You, Naruto and Sasuke were closer than ever. You helped Sasuke fit back into the village and looked after him when the trauma got too much. You were there for Naruto to talk through his feelings about the war and to cry on each other’s shoulders as you thought about the people you had lost. You started to nudge them both together too, because whether you chose to join them or not, you wanted them to be happy.

When Haku had come to Konoha, you had helped him find a place to live, conveniently retracing your steps from memory to the place you had lived with him in the future. He had loved it and after you’d given a few suggestions on the interior from your memory, Haku had called on you for interior design advice every time he needed it. You were pretty sure his love of your designs based on what you saw of his choices in the future was definitely some kind of paradox, but that wasn’t going to stop you.

You had reached out to Shino in order to get to know him better and you’d had many ‘friend outings’ with him alone and also with his team. You listened to him and were delighted to find he already had that strange sense of humour that cracked you up more than anything else.

It was through Shino that you got closer to Kiba as well. And when Kiba had been sick on his birthday, all his friends on missions or unable to risk getting sick from him, you had been the one to spend the day with him, nursing him and trying to cheer him up. He had returned the favour when you had inevitably caught the sickness a few days later and you’d been lose ever since.

You had supported Neji leaving his clan as best as you could, offering him free reign over your shop for nesting supplies after hours, so he could shop privately for the supplies to build his first nest. You had even started stocking specific medication after hearing about how hard it had been for him to find pain meds that didn’t mess with the ones he already took to manage his heats after years of suppressant abuse. It had been difficult to get your hands on the medication, but for him, you did it.

You had also prioritised the other relationships in your life. Sakura, Sai, Ino, Chouji, Hinata, Lee, Tenten… all of them.

So, now, at your birthday party, the table was full of all these people. Your relationships with your friends were the most precious thing you had, and to see them all together here, to celebrate your birthday, it brought a tear to your eye.

It had taken serious planning to get a night where everyone would be there, but you had done it and it was more than worth it.

Neji caught your eye and nodded at you with a small smile; you had slipped him some free heat meds when you had arrived.

Kiba was grinning at you and poking your leg with his toe at varying intervals.

Shikamaru was watching you and when you caught his eye he mouthed ‘happy birthday’ before turning back to his drink.

Shino was sat right next to you and was telling you a story about his latest mission.

Haku was sat on your other side, between you and Naruto because you’d been worried about him feeling out of place, but he simply looked serenely around the table. When he got to you, he grabbed your face in his hands and pressed a kiss to each of your cheeks. A birthday greeting from Kiri, he explained.

Naruto was frantically searching through his bag for your gift that he was swearing must be there somewhere, while Sasuke stood at his shoulder, rolling his eyes.

These were the people that could be your future. And you knew who you were going to pick.

…

After agonising over the perfect courting gift, the right place for a first date and the right things to say, it was surprisingly easy to start a relationship with who you had picked. It was so easy that you kind of regretted over analysing every second of your memories of that cycle to find clues as to what you should say or do.

But in the end, you didn’t even give the courting gift or get through the planned words before your courting offer was eagerly accepted.

Things moved quickly. You were glad that you had worked on yourself first; you would have been unable to handle being a good partner back then, but now you could do everything a good mate should do and more.

Technically, you were on a courting date now, but you were far past the awkward restaurant dates and daytime walks around the village. No, this was relaxed, the eating takeaway in your living room and binging bad movies together kind of relaxed.

…

“What kind of decision was that?” you exclaimed, watching the protagonist choose to run upstairs rather than out the front door while she was being chased by a serial killer. “Like, I’m not here to victim blame, but…”

“That sounds exactly like victim blaming to me,” Kiba laughed, knocking his shoulder into yours.

“No, I said I wasn’t victim blaming!”

“Uh huh, like you said you weren’t going to eat all the mac and cheese,” he said, eyeing the empty pot that said mac and cheese had once been in.

“Shut up, I hate you,” you grumbled, snuggling into his shoulder and pulling the blankets around yourself. The protagonist was getting brutally murdered on screen, but you weren’t paying much attention. It wasn’t like these civilian horror films ever got anything right about actual murders anyway.

“Yeah, you hate me?” he leant down and whispered directly in your ear. Shivers ran down your spine. “I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it, dog boy,” you said without any heat.

“You sound like you’ve been spending too much time with Naruto,” Kiba smirked, pushing himself somehow closer to you. “Should I be jealous?”

“Never,” you said firmly, dropping the joking tone immediately. “My attention is yours; I’ll never look away, I promise.”

Kiba grinned, his lips now hovering close to yours.

“I love it when you say stuff like that,” he said, voice lined with a growl. He kissed you before you could formulate a reply.

With Kiba, you’d quickly learnt that every kiss was like the first time. Not because he kissed slowly or hesitantly or sweetly every time, but because the first time had been intense, hot and heavy and so was every kiss that followed.

You hummed into Kiba’s mouth, satisfied by the way he was using his tongue. You had become so comfortable with Kiba so quickly, but you’d yet to go all the way. Kiba seemed eager to take that step as soon as possible, but you wanted to court him for a little more first; you really didn’t want him to think that you were only there for sex.

You kissed until the credits of the film started to roll and only then did you realise how late it had become.

“Damn,” you said, pulling away, panting a little. “It’s already almost 1 AM, you don’t have a mission tomorrow, do you?”

“Nope,” Kiba replied, snatching one of the last slices of pizza from the table and shoving it in his mouth. “I’m still on leave from the last one.”

“Nice… Do you, uh, well,” you stumbled over your words. It was annoying considering how much you have practiced being casual about it in the mirror. “Do you want to stay the night?”

Kiba looked at you for a moment, a little bit of pizza sauce on his cheek, but before long he was grinning again.

“Hell yeah, I do!” he said, excitedly. “But I don’t have any pyjamas or stuff with me.”

“I have a spare toothbrush,” you said quickly, deciding not to mention that you’d bought an extra just for him. “And you can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in.”

You weren’t sure if it was just your imagination, but Kiba’s eyes seemed to darken at your words.

“Sounds good,” he said after a long pause. His voice was as heavy as his gaze.

…

You had offered to take the sofa and let Kiba take the bed, but the look of offence he had given you had had the offer dying on your lips.

You and Kiba were laying together in your bed now. You pointedly ignored the instinctual rush of having the omega you wanted to mate in your bed.

Kiba was draped over you, seemingly feeling no awkwardness at sharing a bed with you for the first time. He really wasn’t going to change much, at least personality wise, if the future version of him that you met had been accurate.

You sighed happily, rubbing circles on Kiba’s back. The mixing of his scent and your scent was making you pleased and sleepy. It was so nice to have Kiba here with you, and you couldn’t wait to see how your relationship was going to grow and change.

“Just so you know,” Kiba said sleepily. “Inuzuka don’t get married, so if you’re waiting until marriage to fuck me, you’re going to be waiting a long time.”

You snorted at the unexpected statement, having to stifle your laughs with your free hand.

“You��re ridiculous.”

“I was just letting you know.”

“You don’t have to worry, anyway,” you said, still chuckling. “I’m not waiting for marriage, I just… want you to know that I like you for you, not for sex, y’know.”

“I already know that, dummy,” Kiba said, flicking you on the side. You could almost hear him rolling his eyes. “You don’t need to wait for that.”

“Seeing as we’re on the topic though,” you said, resuming your rubbing of his back. “Why don’t Inuzuka get married?”

“There’s no point of marriage if you already carry each other’s bite marks,” Kiba said bluntly. “Nothing is more important than that.”

You turned the thought over in your mind. You had kinda assumed that future Kiba and you had been married, but apparently not. It made sense though, now that you were thinking about it, and not being married wouldn’t change anything in your relationship.

“I get that,” you said. “It fits your clan, not going to lie.”

Kiba snorted but didn’t deny it.

You laid together in silence for a while. You were starting to think Kiba had fallen asleep, but he’d obviously been thinking about things, because he spoke up again, sounding a little hesitant for the first time since you’d known him.

“Do you, uh, want any pups?” Kiba asked, trying and failing to sound casual.

You just started to laugh as soon as you registered the words. You couldn’t help it.

“Wha- hey! Why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry, I just-“ you couldn’t get the words out between laughs, but Kiba’s frowny face eventually calmed you down. “I would love to have pups in the future. How many do you want?”

“A few, I guess-“

You burst out laughing again, unable to keep it in with the thoughts of Kiba only having a few pups. This time Kiba hit you with a pillow.

“Why are you laughing?!”

You responded by picking up your own pillow and hitting him with it, devolving your quiet cuddling into a wild pillow fight.

You had a sneaking suspicion that despite you taking these early days slowly, it wouldn’t be long until Minoru popped into existence. And maybe it was a weird thing to think, but you were really excited to see him again.

…

It turned out that Minoru did come pretty soon, only two years after that first time you’d slept in a bed together with Kiba.

And just over a year later, Ichika joined the family, and you were now a family of four.

Kiba had proclaimed multiple times how you were on the same wavelength with names because he always loved your first suggestion. You kept where the inspiration came from to yourself as it was technically cheating.

Now, Minoru was three years old, Ichika was two and it had been four years since Kiba had gone on a mission. He still worked around the compound when he had the chance but being pregnant was too much of a risk on the field and he was still breastfeeding so he couldn’t be gone for more than a day or two.

He wasn’t technically retired, simply on leave, but you had a sneaking suspicion that he was pregnant again (with twins), going by the timeline you’d seen from the future, so he wouldn’t be returning to being an active shinobi anytime soon.

(You remembered when Kiba had been worried about him and Akamaru getting bored without missions, but the pups had kept both of them more than busy.)

You were still taking missions, but you had stopped taking long ones altogether and pulled back the number of short missions as much as you could. You spent almost all of your day in the shop instead, so you could be home for dinner and the bedtime routine almost every night. Kiba and your pups deserved a present mate and appa.

Unfortunately, even though you were only taking a short mission every fortnight, that didn’t mean being a shinobi wasn’t dangerous.

The last thing you remembered was accidentally triggering a trap and having your foot mangled and a paralytic fired into your neck.

The paralytic had worn off on its own, but your foot had required pretty intensive surgery in the hospital back in Konoha. You honestly couldn’t remember much about the journey back or initial treatment, but you had eventually been released home with strict instructions not to put any weight on your foot unless absolutely necessary.

You felt guilty for burdening Kiba with your care on top of your two toddlers, but he had been rather aggressive when you tried to apologise.

“It’s my job to take care of you,” he had said. “I don’t want to hear any apologising bullshit.”

At least you were capable of staying alert all day, even if you were stuck in bed. You could work on the paperwork for your shop which stopped you from feeling entirely useless.

You sighed, leaning back against the headboard of your bed. You still had another week before your final surgery and then another week of recovery before you could try to walk again. You amused yourself briefly by imagining putting a bounty on the head of whoever set that trap, but your daydreams were interrupted by the door opening.

In toddled Minoru, tightly clutching at a glass of water, using his entire focus to keep from spilling it. Kiba, holding a sniffling Ichika, came in behind him.

“Hey everyone, what’s up?” you said, smiling as Minoru successfully placed the glass of water on your nightstand without dropping it. “Good job with the glass, baby, thank you.”

Minoru smiled, but it was sad and lacklustre. He looked more worried than anything else.

“We’ve come to check on you and bring you some water,” Kiba said. He sounded stressed but was obviously trying to keep it together. You weren’t surprised; you had heard Ichika crying all morning.

“How are you feeling, appy?” Minoru asked, nervously fisting at his shirt.

“My foot’s a bit poorly still, darling, but I’m okay,” you smiled at him and ruffled his hair. “Do you want a cuddle? You won’t hurt me, I promise.”

He nodded, and with your help and a frankly over the top amount of caution to avoid your foot, Minoru settled down and curled up on the left side of your chest. For being only three, Minoru was already such a worrywart. You were thankful that your arms were uninjured so you could snuggle him and pepper his head in kisses with no constraints.

Minoru purred under your attention.

Ichika was less content though. Despite Kiba rocking her and attending to her needs as best as he could, she was still crying. You could see him talking to her in low tones, although you couldn’t hear what he was saying.

You suddenly remembered the day you’d spent in the future, something that was still weird to recall now that you had got on with your life. You remembered Ichika’s issues with her Inuzuka senses being too strong and overwhelming her. It would make sense that those issues had started young.

“Babe, pass her to me,” you said softly, holding the arm you weren’t using to support Minoru up. “I have an idea to stop the crying.”

Kiba didn’t look like he had much hope, but he didn’t argue, simply passing her into your free arm with no complaints. Ichika struggled and increased her cries as she realised she was being put down, but calmed a little when she realised you were now holding her.

You manoeuvred her head so that one ear was pressed against your chest, and you covered the other one with your hand.

“Try covering her eyes with your hand,” you said to Kiba, seeing as your other hand was holding Minoru. Kiba looked sceptical, but he’d obviously been worn down with the crying because he followed your instruction with no complaint, shuffling onto the bed on your right and using a hand to cover Ichika’s eyes.

The sniffling and quiet cries continued for a while, but Minoru seemed content to snuggle, and you’d mouthed ‘wait’ at Kiba enough that he did. Eventually, the sniffles died down and Ichika’s breathing evened out. When you and Kiba withdrew your hands, she was asleep.

“How did you do that?” Kiba whispered, looking like he wasn’t sure whether to thank you or accuse you of witchcraft. “I’ve been trying to get her to take her nap for three hours.”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” you explained in an equally soft voice. “And I think she’s been having trouble with her senses getting too much for her. That’s why when we muffled her hearing and sight, she was able to relax enough to fall asleep.”

Kiba’s mouth pressed into a firm line and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He looked very worried.

“That’s not good,” he said, stroking her hair gently. “We’ll need to go to a medic and see if it can be fixed because if not, she-“

“Hey, stop spiralling,” you chastised softly. “She’ll be fine. Even if she needs more support or she decides against being a ninja, she’s still healthy and we can manage the symptoms and make her happy. That’s what matters.”

“Is Ich’ka poorly too?” Minoru asked suddenly. You and Kiba both looked to him, having forgotten that he was still awake. His bottom lip was trembling, and the poor thing looked incredibly upset at the idea that both his sister and appa were unwell.

“No, baby, Ichika is fine,” Kiba rushed to reassure him verbally while you pressed a kiss onto his little forehead. “We just think that sometimes things get too loud for her, so we’re working out how to fix it for her.”

Minoru blinked at you a few times but seemed to believe you because he nodded and laid his head back down on your chest, yawning.

“Okay, ommy,” he muttered before sticking his thumb in his mouth.

“They both ended up missing nap time because Ichika was crying,” Kiba explained, gently climbing off the bed and leaving your two pups snuggled up on you.

The pain in your foot was overshadowed by the burning affection that threatened to overwhelm you as your two babies snuggled into your chest.

“I’m going to change your bandages while they’re sleeping,” Kiba said, slipping into the bathroom and coming out a few moments later with everything needed to tend to your foot. It was common for him to change them while the pups napped because neither of you wanted them to see any of the gore in case it scared them. Especially Minoru, who had been inconsolable when you’d come back injured from your mission.

“Ouch,” you grumbled as he wiped at your foot with cleaning alcohol.

“Oh dear, poor baby, are the wipes too much for you?” Kiba teased, picking up the bandages and beginning to wrap them around your foot. “Do you want me to kiss it better after it’s all bandaged?”

“Yes,” you said earnestly, ignoring the teasing aspect of his question.

Kiba snorted, but obliged, pecking the bandaged foot while trying not to laugh. You hoped you could make him laugh more often; he had been so serious and stressed recently, torn between your injury, Ichika’s constant crying and Minoru’s refusal to leave the house in case you got worse while he left. And all of that was on top of the normal caring duties for two toddlers.

You felt guilty for getting injured and making his life so hard, but you knew he wouldn’t appreciate the insinuation that you were a burden on him. You were pack and as far as Kiba was concerned, pack looked after each other no matter what.

“Are you okay with them in here with you? I need to go and try and clean the house, it’s in an absolute state,” Kiba asked, packing away the medical supplies.

You didn’t want him to work and work and work until he dropped.

“You should lay down with us, babe,” you said, still keeping your voice low so that you didn’t disturb Minoru and Ichika. “You look like you need it, no offence.”

“None taken,” he snorted. “But I still need to clean and Ichika has been refusing to be put down, so now’s the only time I can do it.”

“Let’s just, hire some poor genin team to clean the house or something,” you suggested. “We have enough savings and I’d class this as an emergency.”

Kiba hesitated, but in the end, you managed to coax him into climbing in on Ichika’s other side and having a nap with the rest of the family.

Once you were better, you couldn’t say that you weren’t glad, but you still treasured the little nice moments that you had managed to find in between the hardships.

…

A month after your foot had mostly recovered, it turned out that you had been right about Kiba being pregnant, and before you knew it, your family was now six people as Akemi and Kaito made their appearance.

With four under four, you and Kiba tried your hardest to put the hundreds of condoms you’d received as gag gifts to use. Of course, you knew from your trip to the future that it wouldn’t last forever, but you made it five whole years without Kiba being pregnant even once. When people teased you for having the largest family of your generation, you just laughed, knowing that it was going to get bigger one day.

You had been right in your assumption that picking Kiba would mean that you were never lonely again, and although you sometimes longed for moments where no sticky hands were trying to climb you, you thrived in the large family atmosphere.

You also carved out time to spend with your friends, refusing to let the relationships you had forged die from something as mundane as not having time to hang out.

The garden you had wistfully imagined hosting BBQs in while you were in the future was now frequently filled with those once imaginary BBQs. Naruto and Sasuke always came, Naruto excited to play with your pups and pine over the pups he and Sasuke were eventually planning on adopting together. Sai and Sakura came too, Sai always bringing some bizarre side dish with him. Hinata and her two children seemed a little intimidated by most of your feral goblins, but Ichika got on with them like a house on fire and you were happy to provide her with some calmer company. Shino had adopted a distant relative from his clan and was raising him as a single oma, although when they came along, little Kazue (and oh goodness did it pull on old heartstrings when you saw him for the first time) normally tucked himself up on Shino’s lap and refused to play with the other children.

It was chaos when you all got together, but the kind of chaos that lit a fire in your very soul. It made all those earlier lonely days seem like hallucinations.

After those five years, Kiba was pregnant again, with the baby that you’d almost seen born during your future excursion.

You were incredibly thankful when the birth passed without any fainting incidents. You had even managed to intercept Minoru’s anxiety by explaining to him about clan pregnancy before his lessons on childbirth at the academy and so instead of the tears and worries over Kiba dying, he’d instead proudly explained to all his classmates that his clan and oma were simply ‘built different’.

The actual birth had also gone much smoother. You were his actual mate this time, able to easily provide the comfort and intimacy that Kiba needed while also having the know-how from the previous three births to support him and the pup properly. It wasn’t your first rodeo this time. It was rodeo number four, which you considered an ‘out of the danger zone’ number of rodeos.

And with that, you had Hibiki, your fifth child and third son.

When you had been in the future, you had assumed that the mystery fifth child would be the last one, but you knew better once you’d actually been mated with Kiba for years.

Yua, your sixth child and third daughter was born a few years later.

And when, a few years after that, Kiba got pregnant again, you immediately booked an appointment to get sterilised so that you could continue to indulge his breeding kink without making any more mouths to feed. You were doubly glad about that decision when the final pregnancy was revealed to be twins.

…

“You’re doing so well, babe, so well,” you were naked and pressed up against an equally naked Kiba, holding him from behind as he worked through a contraction.

“It feels strange that this is the last time I’m going to do this,” Kiba said between gritted teeth. “I kind of don’t want this labour to end, is that weird?”

“Yes,” you said bluntly, vaguely concerned but not surprised.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” he acquiesced, relaxing slightly now that the contraction had passed. “You sure you don’t want one more?”

“You know you’re not allowed to make decisions when you’re in labour, horny or feral.”

“I guess that’s also fair,” he sighed, stretching out his legs.

You rubbed on his stomach to try and ease the discomfort as best as you could. This was your sixth rodeo now though and it was almost funny to recall the panic from your trip to the future and at Minoru’s birth. You could probably deliver an Inuzuka baby in your sleep at this point.

“Drink some water,” you prompted, holding a water bottle to Kiba’ lips. He drank obediently, emptying the bottle in one go.

“I reckon these twins will be out pretty soon now,” Kiba said, reaching over to grab a ration bar and tearing it open with his teeth.

“I’m not surprised, it’s probably like a slip n’ slide in there by now.”

Kiba laughed at your joke and almost choked on his ration bar in the process.

“You’re the one who’s been in there the most, so you would know.”

“Pfft- Shut up,” you smacked him gently on the shoulder.

“You should know by now that that won’t happen,” he smirked, pressing his lips against yours.

A muffled smashing sound from the main part of the house had you both startling apart.

“Want to take guesses on which chaos gremlin was the cause of that?” Kiba said mildly, unperturbed by the sounds of destruction after so many years.

“Hmm, I bet it was either Akemi and one of her experiments gone wrong, or it was Hibiki attempting to eat his dinner from a dog bowl on top of the counter again.”

“Not a bad bet, but personally I think that was the sound of Minoru snapping and frisbeeing something fragile at the wall.”

“May the best person win,” you said, shaking his hand. He played along with a grin, but he soon tightened his grip and bent over in pain.

“Fuck, maybe I don’t want this to last forever,” he grunted, still squeezing your hand. “It hurts like a bitch.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, holding him tightly. “I wish I could take some of the pain for you.”

“I think it’s time,” he panted, ignoring your statement, not that you blamed him.

“Alright, I’ve got you, let’s get you sorted.”

That evening, twins Kaede and Natsu, a girl and boy respectively, finished off your family.

…

As a family of eight, the days felt long but the years flew by.

It was with a mix of relief and sadness that you faced your youngest, Natsu, moving out of your house. You had done it. You had successfully raised eight pups into functioning adults and sent them out into the real world.                    

It wasn’t like all of them didn’t pop over for dinner three times a week and crash here after missions, but still, it felt strange that you wouldn’t be caring full time for your army of pups anymore.

Some of them were already mated and you already had two grandpups. Most lived in the compound, some were ninja, some were not. But they were all exceptional people that were exceptionally loved.                                              

You and Kiba were holding each other on the couch as you mourned the final pup leaving the nest. Kiba had hugged Natsu so fiercely that you were worried it would hurt him.

“I can’t believe they’re all gone,” Kiba said, sounding unsure about how to feel.

“They’ll be around, I wouldn’t be surprised if Natsu was back here tomorrow asking how he’s supposed to cook pasta, when what he really wants is for you to cook it for him.”

Kiba laughed, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it. You pulled him closer and let him grieve this stage of his life.

You had never regretted your choice to choose this family for your future, not even once.

You thought about all of your precious pups, the highs and the lows of raising them, of seeing them grow. Each of them were so different but so precious. And funny, all of them had immense comedic value and you had so many funny memories from raising them.

Like Minoru, your oldest and most responsible. He’d decided to become a medic, something you could easily tell from the near permanent expression of exasperation on his face. You remembered the day his old genin teammate had come back from a mission injured but had refused to go to the hospital. Minoru had dragged her back to your house.

…

“If you won’t go to the hospital, then you’re going to let me heal you, no arguments!”

That was the first thing you heard after the front door went and it was enough to pull you from the washing up.

“Minoru, please, I don’t want to intrude-“

“You’ve already bled all over the carpet, so you can get over issues of ‘intrusion’,” it was Minoru’s voice and the voice of who you believed to be one of his genin teammates.

He came into view moments later, dragging said old genin teammate. He muttered a ‘hi, appa’ but then promptly ignored you in favour of dumping his bleeding friend on the sofa.

“Um, you should probably go to the hospital,” you said tentatively, walking over to the two teens. “Our house is like, covered in mud and dog hair at the moment, that can’t be sanitary.”

“You’re right! She should be in the hospital!” Minoru shouted. “But she’s such a- such a-“

He struggled to find the words to match his fury for a moment.

“Such a… rat bastard! And she won’t go to the hospital even though she’s bleeding out!”

You snorted but quickly disguised it with a cough. You should probably discourage that kind of language but it was hilarious, so you decided to let it slide.

“Look, give healing them your best shot, but if anything gets worse or she passes out, let me know and we can take her to the hospital, okay?” you said, putting your reassuring appa voice on.

“Fine,” Minoru grumbled, kneeling at the side of the couch, hands hovering over her stomach. “I don’t care if this hurts, by the way.”

You didn’t manage to disguise your laughter quite as well this time.

…

Ichika came to mind next. She had worried you and Kiba a lot when she was younger, with her senses heightened so far above the normal Inuzuka level to the point of pain. But in the end, she had turned out perfectly able to take over the clan leadership when it became clear that Hana wasn’t going to have any of her own pups and Kiba and Minoru were uninterested in such a role.

What made her so perfect was her ability to make herself, and by extension the clan, seem perfectly normal and well-functioning. She was the only non-gremlin child you had, and the clan was using that to their advantage in negotiations and political bullshit.

Sometimes she fooled people too well though. You distinctly remembered the first time she had brought her boyfriend to a family dinner to introduce him to you, Kiba and the rest of your family. Ichika had tricked him with her normalness and the poor man had no idea what he was getting into.

…

Ichika had called a family meeting about an hour before her new boyfriend was supposed to show up, and so all of you were crowded in the living room because no one wanted to piss off an already stressed Ichika. Even the terror twins were managing to sit somewhat still.

“Listen up!” she shouted, slamming her hands on the coffee table. “I really like this man, so I will have no one scaring him off, is that clear?”

A couple of your pups chortled, but Ichika’s glare cut them off.

“I mean it,” she said. “That means no asking if they have any ‘interesting’ diseases (she pointed at Minoru), no setting a trap on his chair or in any other part of the house (she pointed at the terror twins), no eating from receptacles designed for dogs (Hibiki was pointed at next), no trying to bite him (Yua) and well…”

Kaede and Natsu blinked up at her innocently, only two years old, each sitting on one of yours and Kiba’s laps.

“I guess you two get a pass,” she said reluctantly. “For now.”

“Pass!” Natsu giggled happily.

“What about us?” you asked, gesturing to yourself and Kiba, trying to hide your grin. “Do we have rules too?”

She squinted her eyes at you as she considered it.

“You are allowed to threaten him once each. Once only,” she stressed. “And they have to be normal threats that normal parents make, got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kiba snorted, bouncing a happy Natsu. “So, when’s Kairo getting here then?”

Ichika’s eye twitched at the deliberate incorrect name.

This evening was going to be fun.

…

Your terror twins, Akemi and Kaito, came to mind next. And that was Terror Twins (affectionate) of course. They had both taken to shinobi life a little too well, specialising in tracking as any good Inuzuka did, but also traps and demolition, to the surprise of no one. And of course, they loved to practice those skills in your house.

Their Inuzuka dog companions were just as bad as they were, but their killer puppy dog eyes always got them out of trouble.

They both had genin teams at the moment. Rival genin teams. Although the rivalry seemed to just be between your twins, because the genin seemed to become close through commiserating over their ridiculous jonin instructors.

You still remembered the first chunin exams that they had been entered in. As green genin, none were promoted, but seeing as it was hosted by Konoha, Akemi and Kaito had begged the whole family to attend to watch their genin beat the other’s genin.

…

“Kick his ass, Sakurako!” Akemi shouted from the stands. “Yank that pretty boy hair!”

“You got this, Akihito!” Kaito shouted, not wanting to be outdone. “Don’t be afraid to bite her if you have to!”

You put your head in your hands, hoping that no one figured out that you were technically responsible for both the crazy jonin. You regretted saying yes to attending.

…

Next you thought about Hibiki, the boy you almost saw born twice, which was a cool fact that you’d never be able to tell him.

Hibiki loved dogs more than people. Yes, that wasn’t uncommon for Inuzuka, but Hibiki took it to the extreme. He had demanded to eat from dog bowls rather than plates for five years, and maybe other parents would have put their foot down and said no, you and Kiba had just decided to indulge the little weirdo.

Hibiki liked walking dogs, playing with dogs, learning about dogs, barking at people and a whole myriad of other similar things. He spent every day shadowing his aunt Hana in the vet clinic and resisted going to the academy because there weren’t dogs there. It was not surprising at all when Hibiki started to work at the clinic full time.

You still remembered the first time Hibiki had asked Akamaru to join him in the bath, as all of his older siblings had asked before him. It was the first time that Kiba’s normal hose threat hadn’t worked.

…

“I want Akamaru to come!” Hibiki sulked, stomping his feet.

“Akamaru gets hosed down in the garden, so unless you want to do that, it’s time to get in the bath without Akamaru,” Kiba said back, the threat of the hose well practiced.

“Okay!” Hibiki said, face lighting up. “I want to get hosed in the garden with Akamaru!”

You could almost see the wind getting taken out of Kiba’s sails.

“I- what? You want to get hosed down with cold water in the garden?” Kiba questioned, eyebrows raised.

“Yes! Thank you oma! You’re the best!” Hibiki cheered, running from the bathroom to the back door.

You and Kiba made significant eye contact, but in the end you both just shrugged.

“Alright then.”

…

Yua was next. She and her dog were inseparable and impossible to trick. She had gone down the traditional Inuzuka route of tracking, and Yua’s wicked smarts were perfect for it. She started leading tracking teams when she was only 15 years old, and you were more and more proud of her every day.

She did have a mean streak though. She wasn’t a bully or anything, you wouldn’t have allowed that, but she became easily frustrated with those around her. Like the time you and Kiba had been called into the academy because Yua had been in an altercation with some of her classmates.

…

“You have to apologise, Yua,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady and firm.

“But why should I have to apologise if what I said is true!?” she exclaimed, obviously frustrated. “I didn’t lie!”

“It doesn’t matter if you think something is true or not,” you explained, taking a breath to keep your patience. “Telling someone that they could ‘have an intelligent thought bite them on the nose and still not know what it was’ is very rude and mean.”

Yua huffed, obviously not understanding the situation. You were very aware of the academy teacher watching you fail to get through to your daughter.

“Fine,” you said, giving up on the explanation. “No training at home until you apologise.”

“What? Appa! No!”

…

Finally, you had Kaede and Natsu, the babies of the family. That title was something that Kaede resented wholeheartedly and something that Natsu embraced with enthusiasm.

Kaede’s favourite phrase growing up was “I can do it by myself, appa!”, while Natsu had favoured the “Can you help me appy, please?”.

Kaede had always been determined, someone who knew themselves entirely. You remembered when they had told you to switch their pronouns to they/them at age 12, they had done it with the confidence of someone so much older.

They had become a paperwork ninja, deciding it was their destined role and that no on would stop them and no one would talk down about the job. They were a force to be reckoned with, behind that desk. Just because they were the first Inuzuka paper nin didn’t mean they were well adjusted or normal. In fact, her companion dog had been trained to bite ninjas who gave late reports or who didn’t take enough time to make their writing legible.

While Kaede had been determined and self-reflective, Natsu only knew one thing: he loved cuddles. For years, he had been happy doing anything as long as it included getting cuddles or praise from one of his family members. Even his Inuzuka dog was the snuggliest dog you had in the family. He did have a penchant for teasing people though, but in a charming, if a little feral, way.

He had decided that the ninja life wasn’t for him, to the surprise of no one, and instead he helped out in your shop full time. Your customers loved him and his pup, who stayed curled up by the counter, was just as big of a hit.

You were still sometimes in awe of how different they were.

…

A breaded chicken fillet was on the menu for most of the pups tonight. You sat around your massive dining room table in the house you had to buy a few years back when it became clear that the number of pups was vastly outnumbering the number of bedrooms, passing round the plates.

You automatically turned to Kaede and picked up her knife and fork in order to cut the fillet up for her.

“No, appa! I can do it myself!” she said, pulling her plate away from you. “I’m not little anymore!”

“Alright, alright,” you said holding up your hands, having passed her cutlery back. “Let me know if you need any help, okay?”

“I won’t,” she said fiercely, immediately attempting to cut the fillet up herself. She was butchering it a little bit, but it would all taste the same, so you let her get on with it.

“Appy?”

You turned to see Natsu with his full-on puppy dog eyes staring at you. He was holding up his knife and fork for you.

“Can you cut my chicken for me, please?”

You softened as you looked at him. Apart from Ichika, he was the only one of your pups to have fully grasped the concept of manners.

“Of course, I can, darling,” you smiled, walking around the table to cut up his fillet into little chunks. “Do you want ketchup as well?”

He nodded, so you took the ketchup bottle and squirted a little smiley face with the sauce.

“See? It’s a smiley face because it’s happy to see you!”

Natsu grinned, looking up at you like you hung the stars in the sky.

“Thank you appy, I love him!”

“You’re welcome, baby. Would you like some, Kaede?”

She nodded too but held out her hand to take the bottle from you, clearly wanting to pour the ketchup herself.

It was quite amusing that the two were twins; they couldn’t be more different.

…

They were all your pups and you loved them so much that you couldn’t articulate it. You would cherish them forever and from your perspective now, it was strange that you had ever considered choosing a different life with someone else.

You had thanked the fortune teller in your mind many, many times since that fateful week, but you also had to give yourself some credit for putting in the work to make this life happen. You built your shop up from the ground, you helped your friends, you wooed Kiba into being your mate, you built your family with him, you raised all these amazing human beings and somehow kept your sanity amongst the chaos.

You had earnt this life, fully and completely.

“We did good,” was the only thing you could say to Kiba as you held each other on the couch. “We did so good.”

“We did,” he agreed. “And we have so much more good to do.”

And you did, but you felt like you had it under control now. You knew what you were doing, no longer were you that hesitant teenager with desires for a life so much more than they had.

No, you could handle whatever was thrown at you now.

So, imagine your surprise when Natsu burst into your shop only a week later to tell you that he’d met a mysterious fortune teller in the night and spent a week in the future, mated to seven different friends.

The end. 

[axigailxo]

hey luvs! has it been about a year since the last tp update already?? time is insane but i thought id let you guys know what’s up w that.

so, clearly, i haven’t been updating and tp has been on a pretty big hiatus, and as much as i truly hate leaving you pretties on a cliff hanger i promise you it’s not intentional!

early on in the year i was so piled with work and in the middle of the year my relationship with my bf had began and its not so easy to write fanfic about any celebrity for that matter while having my someone there in my life.

it doesn’t feel right, but we have had a discussion and he supports my writing and even encourages me to finish tp. also, side fact, there’s an actual legitimate book i’ve been busy writing in hopes to publish it one day.

but as far as tp, there are only 3 or so more chapters left so it’d be such a waste to not finish which is why i’m still deeming it on hiatus and not canceled.

so i still promise it’s coming back, many of my original readers have prob forget all about it (😿) but for the sake of the series and any newcomers, i will bring her back!

ps i hope you all are staying well💞😽

-luv a

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any writing YouTubers that you watch? Or writing streams and the like, I’d love to know what your writing process is like!! 💞💞

I don't have many that come to mind, I'm sorry! When it comes to creatives on YouTube I tend to lean more towards folk like Rachel Maksy and fibre artists rather than writers - I'm kind of leery of a lot of writing YouTubers because the ones I happen across give me the impression of being more concerned with looking like writers, or telling others how to write, rather than actually writing. Like one recently who tried to act like 2.5k words was insane and unrealistic and not doable.

It's the sort of thing that just can't be taught beyond reading a lot and writing a lot, even my creative writing teachers at uni flat out admitted as much and focused on helping us be the best writers we could be in our own individual ways rather than being all "you must write for three hours per night and before you start you must set your story out into this detailed plan" etc. so I always wince when I see influencers hitting out with advice like that, and a lot of them do because they want to be the ones with ✨the answers✨ // the "right" way of doing things, when there just? Isn't one? Like seeking out advice and new methods to experiment with is all well and good, but I've been in writing groups before where folk have posted showing off the stack of 30+ writing "how to" books they'd just bought (not an exaggeration), and like? At some point you need to just write, get feedback on it, and work things out from there, rather than reading theory and using that as an excuse to avoid actually writing until you've read all 34584 books about it...most of which will give wildly contradictory advice from one to the other. I get the temptation people have to be like "but if I read all of these books before I start my story, my story will be PERFECT from the very first draft!!!" but that's just not the case.

Fic is actually amazing in that respect because you can get feedback for your general style and test out what people do and don't like about it. It got me out of my habit of stupidly heavy introspection in every single chapter when people were like "bestie, enough" during Little By Little 🤡 Not saying there aren't any good writing-focused YouTubers out there! I just haven't found many that I vibe with 💀 my favourite booktubers are Emmie Reads and throneofpages, and CarolynMarieReads (who does also discuss writing!)

I do really really like book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield in terms of other media about writing, I reread it every now and then and I buy it for every creative in my life, it's phenomenal - a lot about how we get in our own way when it comes to creative endeavours and how to not do that, and how procrastination is the enemy. He's done quite a few podcast appearances, I think, if you don't want to get the book! I know Joe Rogan himself uhhh isn't great but his podcast is actually worth watching when he has a good guest, and Steven Pressfield is among them, but he's also been on others all over YouTube if you're not willing to tolerate Joe. Steven King's memoir On Writing was also good, from what I remember of it.

Mostly I just take the stuff David Goggins says, though, and apply it to creative avenues rather than the workout-geared stuff people usually use it for, but I get that he's not for everybody. He just makes a lot of good points about chasing fear and doing stuff when you don't want to, which is a lot of what I struggle with when it comes to writing, I'm always convinced each chapter is absolute dog crap until I'm told otherwise lol.

The content I engage with on that end of things does tend to be more mindset and general, though, rather than stuff that gets into the mechanics of writing. I'm pretty lucky in that I was obsessed with reading pretty much as soon as I learned how, and writing quickly after that, so I learned a lot by reading and mimicking whatever I was enjoying at the time before I'd been at it long enough to develop my own "style". Even now I can look at stuff I write and see the influences, there are just enough of them now that it ends up being its own thing, so I don't approach things from a very technical "ah yes, here I will use free indirect discourse because this will add depth to this character's perspective" or whatever, I'm just feeling my way through based on what I know has/hasn't worked in the past.

I'm not into the whole side of things where people present it as "your story should have X amount of beats and it should follow this graph if you want to write this genre, and these three tropes", it's too scientific and it takes the joy out of it for me, personally. I go into stories with a vague idea of what I want to happen and half of the fun is working out how to get there. I usually know like two or three things that will happen in a story when I start it and the rest just happens as I write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! The only indicator I tend to have is how much an idea scares me. The ones where I go in confident are always boring, the ones where I'm certain I won't be able to pull it off are always grand.

The best analogy I've heard for it is that it's like walking through the dark with a flashlight - as you move forward, you can see just far enough ahead that you know where you're going in the immediate future, but you don't know what's at the end of the road.

The only thing I'd really, really recommend, beyond lots of reading and experimenting with what works for you, is daily writing. I think my stuff improved so stupidly quickly when I started that, and the hardest part of writing is actually sitting down to write rather than the writing itself, so if you write daily you take the "ugh, I really should write today" out of it, and everything is easier from there. It's not even difficult, either, I've had days where my writing was done on my phone on the bus on the way to or from somewhere. It's just about showing up.

I hope some of this massive essay was helpful 💀 I'm super flattered that you're interested in my process! 💜 Feel free to ask any questions anytime I love an excuse to inflict dissertations on people.