#my sibling is a fucking nerd
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I’VE ACQUIRED A PICTURE OF THE STUPID TURTLE MY IDIOT SON LIVES WITH.
Thor (stupid turtles actual name) is not a huge fan of being found. Hence why him and the arm holding him are covered in fuzz. He was hiding and according to my sibling (the arm pictured) he did not want to be found.
Said sibling is over at @staticmonster999 and can vouch for what I’m about to say about this dummy.
So we acquired Thor in the most unusual way. We already had a box turtle (Tony) but she was in the bathtub having a soak when Thor showed up so irrelevant. The front door of our house was open bcs air flow while cleaning. And this stupid fucker just. Walked in. He fucking walked into our house. And wouldn’t leave. We tried. Several times. We lived next to a field and there was a tree line on one side so first we placed him out in the field and the second and third time we put him by the tree line. Nope. It didn’t stick. He walked back to our house and just waltzed on in as if he fucking lived there. We’re pretty sure he was an abounded pet (we lived next to a bougie neighborhood full of dickbags.) so we just gave up and kept him. We already had one box turtle so owning two wasn’t much different.
Now Thor currently terrorizes my idiot son, 2 doofus dogs, and anyone else who goes to the house he’s at bcs he free roams. His shell used to be a bit flatter so when he would get flipped on his back he’d just be stuck, and now that he’s domed out more he is capable of flipping himself back over but chooses not too. Because he’s lazy. So if he gets flipped upside down he just lays there until someone flips him right side up again. He likes worms. Like an unhealthy amount. Little dude will gorge himself on them so we have to limit his work intake.
If you have stupid turtle questions ask away and I’ll try to answer or I’ll ask my sibling. I’ll also answer Sherbie questions bcs that’s my idiot son and we love him here.
Idiot son tax:
Honorary tags: @smushedmuffin @haahka (if y’all ever don’t wanna be tagged anymore let me know)
#obsidian rambles#sherbie#thor (stupid turtle)#asshole sibling#<- yo sibling oh mine. that’s your tag. deal with it.#I need a general pet tag but idk what to make it so currently we get tags per animal I post about#yes the idiot son tax is blurry. he wiggles a lot when asshole sibling takes his picture#also fun fact. all of the turtles belonged to asshoke sibling and all of them had T names#asshole* fuck spelling#and all the T names were marvel related.#my sibling is a fucking nerd
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So I've been playing Star Rail and from what I've seen, basically the main trio are SIBLINGS. I love them.
#honkai star rail#SO MUCH SIBLING ENERGY#the MC is a fucking raccoon#looking for shit in trashcans#and March and Dan Heng just WATCH in disgust and horror#hsr dan heng#hsr march 7th#hsr mc#hsr stelle#i wanna draw them all doing goofy shit now#im still halfway through the game no spoilers plz#the mc is UNHINGED btw did I mention the fucking CLOSET#found family is my KRYPTONITE#every time Dan Heng looks exasperated at March#or when March judges us#or when Dan Heng is a loser nerd boi#i point and scream FAMBLY FAMBLY FAMBLY#cant forget himeko and welt who are parents but like in a 'we are not together and will never be but we are still your parents' way idk#tax breaks or something#their group chat is called the 'ASTRAL EXPRESS FAMILY' I WILL DIE#FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY
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Analyzing China in the recent Gangsta chapter (and what it means for next week)!
this chapter was all i could think about today (especially since i love china to oblivion) . i'll be using the translations provided by @withnofreetime ! thank uuuu 💖💖
☆ This chapter was one of the more interesting ones! First, I'm going to recap when Japan plays his card that forces everybody to receive a shock and force them to pay an "obligated fee"
When Canada sets off the shock button, everybody gets electrocuted. however, i've noticed something:
China is extremely uncomfortable. It looks like he had to cover his mouth in order to prevent himself from showing any signs of vulnerability. And it doesn't even make sense because he was only in second place of receiving the damage, meaning his shock was super light. In fact, he literally tries to lie and play it off here.
Literally Japan and Germany got higher shocks than him yet they only rather look mildly uncomfortable.
And of course, there is Japan playing out the second part of his card, where the total damage that everybody just took will be redistributed to a single opponent if they fail to fight back with a card that manages to fulfill their district's obligations.
This page is the real kicker here. of course who wouldn't fulfill their obligations? But like Japan said, there is a wolf among sheep.
And that wolf happens to be none other than.. China.
The main question is: Why China?
☆ Well of course there is to acknowledge Japan's history with China. They've both had a past with each other in real life and in canon. China practically raised Japan. Of course Japan would go after somebody he is most familiar with in the face of battle, because that knowledge will be his greatest strength.
As we know in the card game, there are two forms of costs: the economical one where the representive pays out of pocket in order to play a card and the stamina one where the representive pays out of their energy every time they receive a shock. So we can assume that Japan is not only knows of China's age, but he is also well aware of his lack of stamina as well. China's lack of stamina is his greatest weakness. But China's strength is his economical cost of 17,000. He has the ability to play really strong cards just like America! And that's why Japan's card is so dangerous here to him! Because his card states that the cost increases the higher up ranked a district is. Not to mention the sheer size of his district and him having the largest population may also play into this factor of maintenance for the district. If what Japan said about China is true, then no wonder why China is unwilling to pay maintenance for his district. The costs are going to be really high and it will give him a lot to manage. If he is going to play this on China, then China is literally left with only two choices:
A.) Go through with the card's demands and lose the strength of his economical power. If he goes through this one, he'll more than likely struggle with the rest of the battle. Or B.) Refuse to go through the card's demands to keep his economical strength and risk losing his stamina from the cumulative shock. If he goes through this one, he is more than likely to be put out of the battle in general (remember, he literally couldn't handle even a small shock!)
BUCKLE UP THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL
#IM SUCH A NERD FOR CHINA#FAR EAST SIBLINGS MY BELOVED#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#IM NOT GONNA SURVIVE NEXT WEEK!!!#aph china#hws china#hetalia gangsta#aph japan#hws japan#honda kiku#yao wang#and also i fucking predicted that japan would be going up against china#and it actually makes sense to try and get rid of china first!#his stamina is his greatest downfall#also im really worried for him#i dont wanna see him go just yet lool#but its more than likely japan will win this one#hetalia#dude china is so cooked
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Guess what I learned today!
Yeah, of the 10 oldest fossil deposits on earth, 4 of them are in Canada, and 4 of them are in Australia, including the two oldest - the Apex Chert formation of western Australia and the Gunflint Chert around the north shore of Lake Superior is the only examples of fossils from the Archaen geologic era, aka the microbes that formed the very first life on this planet.
(The other two countries in the top ten are Morocco, which has 7th place with a deposit of early Cambrian trilobites, and the USA, which is in 9th place from a quarry in Wisconsin.)
#canada#australia#geology#paleontology#fossils#i was gonna infodump more about this but one of the cats sliced my right palm open mid paragraph#so infodump cancelled. i have a kleenex scotch taped to my hand and it hurts to type#...there are no fucking bandaids in this house; im waiting on an emergency delivery from my wonderful sibling#anyways enjoy your niche nerd meme i literally bled for this joke
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One thing my OC, Spider, will have in common with Hyuga: their need for sleeps after a big fight.
Spider, out of breath, bleeding, and bruised: Are we done, yet....?
Hyuga, equally as bloodied: I don't know. And I don't care. I'm tired, and I wanna smoke.
Spider: I'm tired, too, ya know! I wanna sleep....
Hyuga, with his sassy smirk and cracking his knuckles: I can help with that.
Spider: I think I'll stick to passing out at home.
Hyuga: You just don't trust me, kid.
Spider: Correct. You'll land me in a hospital.
Hyuga: *eye-roll*
#emjei squawks#imma nerd#random post#hyuga norihisa#hyuga high and low#daruma ikka#my oc#well one of them#high and low#high & low#high low#high&low#the story of sword#high&low the story of sword#high&low the movie#high&low end of sky#high&low final mission#jdrama#japanese drama#sibling vibes#they could get along fairly well honestly#he could be like an older brother only from a different gang#now i wonder if he and cobra would sort have sibling competition over her#like who is the better brother or something like that#cobra is the one who took her in#but hyuga would have absolutely no problem with her fighting#cobra is a bit overprotective#fine fine im sleeping#at nearly 5am#fuck insomnia
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Scout's voice brings me such serotonin it isn't funny. He says the most fuckin stupid shit and I go "hehe!!!" and kick my legs and smile like a dumbass 😭
#⚾; batter up#WAHHHHHHH#gush post#my sibling got tf2 on their laptop#and so i watched them play#and they played scout and i had to stop myself from stimming#SCOUT JUST ACTIVITIES MY NEURONS IN A SILLY WAY :(#he makes me so happy this isnt fair 😭#pyro also makes me happy stim they are just so :}#i just got that scout brain rot rn#stupid ass baseball fucking nerd fucking cutie fuckin. grannskwodowofktmwn.
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everyone...watch love next door....
#only 2 eps out for now but it literally got me out of my kdrama slump its That good...#sooo many kdramas don't do the childhood friends to lovers trope justice but i have such high hopes for lnd its soooooo good so far#its funny...the main couples r alr clearly separated from ep1 so no fuckass love triangles...the female leads have a great friendship#and such good chemistry if u told me they're bestie irl id believe u..i looooveeeee the bickerisms btwn the leads they're perfect#also haein fits the yearner role so well???? his gaze is soooo pine n yearn...#also im so happy jion finally has a big role in a good show.....fuck my lovely liar that shit was ass finally retribution for my guy of all#time#like he's just a kind hearted nerd in this and he looks good doing it<3 so excited to see how his & moeum's story evolves#also the moeun seokryu seunghyo trio friendship is so fun as well i loved their scenes in ep 2#ALSO. accurate sibling dynamics save me‼️#don't watch it if u quit ur job and moved back home w ur parents recently tho lmao ep2 emotionally devasted me i did cry quite a bit#like why r u in my house suddenly.#anw. watch it!!!!#anna.txt
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"oh ho ho, i like you, my balls are getting hard"
"Granite in your pants, as it were, yesss"
"Oh, I got two big balls of basalt"
"BASALT" BRENNAN SAYS
OUT OF ALL THINGS
for context, basalt is like those column thingies
those!! ^^^^^
#d20 mentopolis#d20#mentopolis#basalt#dan fucks#someone who knows more than me will add more basalt facts hopefully#im not the rock nerd#that spot was taken by my younger sibling#instead i just have to be the punk nerd#hhaha
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The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.
#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together#as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!#this woman's life is a dumpster fire#and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement'#which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any#fucking right...😭😭😭#meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving#out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes#this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly#how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making#the wrong fucking decisions and judging me.#these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been#on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest#i feel pretty great#it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going#to end up here.#while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and#she was like ok who cares abt this dude now#which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most#supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is#in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th#one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing.#while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings#who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm#she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver#adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and#making sure i'll be ok.#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'#make me feel like the world's worst man#personal log
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My mom is in her "I want grandkids" phase and I'm like I am so sorry mom, unless you find a way to materialize Wrecker into a physical form you are not getting any from me.
#with wrecker id give her all the grandbabies she wanted#nevermind that would probably kill me#anyways#my mom is saying this shit like my siblings and I arent fucking intoverted loser nerds who have no experience with making connections#mom i dont even have irl friends#ugh#star wars#tbb#tbb wrecker#big guy <3
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I have no idea how to phrase it but being on the older end out of the students in this class and seeing a lot of the ones that just left highschool struggling with very similar stuff than I did (because no one in this course is cishet and neurotypical) and then seeing them come to me for support with all that stuff just because I'm outspoken about my experiences and somehow signaled that I'm safe enough of a person to come to all in the third week of class is so much I don't know how I got here but I'm so glad I did
#like I've mentioned my cool genderqueer friend he's on the same age range as me but I am managing to interact#with like a decent portion of the class? which is awesome! it feels like art school all over again I actually understand people#and it naturally has a lot of freshmen#and today like idk probably because of how bad I had it yesterday that today just left such a big impact on me all of a sudden#it's important to me that I can be someone like that probably because it's how I remember being before trauma and stuff#but also I mean just logically speaking I know one issue I certainly don't have is with confidence and self esteem#so it's important to me that I can support friends who do still struggle with that self doubt#and something about that just coming across to others is getting to me#like I just make myself clear that it's a choice to be friends and listen and that I wouldn't hang out with anyone out of guilt or pity#and it actually makes people feel seen#like I don't think I've mentioned yet but I had at least three interactions that reflected this today so yeah#fellow autistic nb nerd asking for snuggly friend hugs so naturally I was talking to someone else#neurodivergent trans girl saying thank you out of the blue alongside her goodbyes when parting ways#guy with ocd I hadn't spoken to yet but that had a bad fucking time cause of the class incel being glad I reached out to him#after he had to walk out of class today#like idk#fuck man#I said I was trying to not infantilize or adopt anyone but still had the instinct to try and act all older sibling like#like almost joking and the girl genuinely said I was doing a good job at that though#Void fala aí
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Me: Haha, what if Alex was a Special Child and had a weird fucked up relationship with Lucifer and bit him and drank his blood sometimes? That’s a cool concept to play with.
The “concept” :
#Gave that traumatized teenager All the fawn responses#And a bit more trauma. And a nephilim. And a weird relationship with Sam. Sharing Azazel blood makes you siblings amiright?#Kelly Kline to Jack: I need you to be strong and know that I love you no matter what you are my child and I chose to have you.#Alex Jones to Jack: The Winchesters are murderers and your father is trying but is also a jealous god so learn to love your monsters bb <3#The happy ending I didn’t write is actually Lucifer/Alex/Sam. An archangel who’s Trying and his fucked up human nerds.#The three of them are a stack of wet dishes slowly falling off the counter.#Goddammit Dean is not going to let Jack be named ‘Jack Jones’ just because it’s too damn cool. Gonna Winchester him out of pure spite.
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Me: I’m gonna start a blog where I just barely delve into potential characters for a show! What could possibly go wrong?
*months later*
Me, head on desk: …so I learned that it’s fucking impossible for me to have temporary characters… and that there are a shit ton of archangels… and that I have barely even scratched the surface of what I want to be canon for them… and that I am hyperfixating on a character that I’VE NOT EVEN INTRODUCED YET… and that the amount of angst I put into these characters is very possibly concerning…
#nerdy being a nerd#writer stuff#they’re my little blorbos and I love them however there is a point where it just gets silly#I haven’t even mentioned chamuel in the blog yet BUT I KNOW WHO TF THEY ARE GONNA BE#and Jophiel and Metatron are supposed to be exes but Metatron got fucking murdered by his own shitty deal making#and jophiel (again) HASNT BEEN INTRODUCED PROPERLY BEYOND A COUPLE NAME DROPS#AND MICHELLE IS HATED BY A LOT OF PEOPLE FOR A LOT OF DIFFERENT REASONS BECAUSE SHE JUST KEEPS ANNOYING HER SIBLINGS#AND GABRIEL CURRENTLY KEEPS SPARRING THEIR HUSBAND NEARLY TO DEATH BECAUSE THEYRE AN AMNESIAC AND VIOLENT AF#AND THE ARCHANGEL OF MARRIAGE/FAMILY/CHILDREN/DEVOTION IS IN AN OVERTLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BUT CANT LEAVE BECAUSE OF THE WAY MARRIAGES-#-WORK FOR ARCHANGELS LIKE VIR
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thinking that i can actually be normal about dungeon meshi shipping (more specifically, shit i don’t like as much) then taking a whiff of someone who ships both farcille and whatever marcille and laios together is called (in a wierd ‘postmortem relationship surrogacy’ way not. at once. which would frankly be so outlandish to my sensibilities i wouldn’t even feel grossed out just MAD) and just. nope! nope. back on the shitlist those two go
#IT SUCKS BECAUSE LIKE THE TWO OF THEM ARENT- actually i still think its fuckin shit for marcille. like yeah its a sign of her growth but i h#hate hate HATE uptight girl x guy who repeatedly grosses her out. hate it!!!#IF I IGNORE THE FIRST HALF OF DUNGEON MESHI I CAN TOLERATE IT WELL ENOUGH#BUT JUST#EW. EW! EUGH!#AT LEAST INCEST FETISHISTS *GENERALLY TEND TO UNDERSTAND THEY FIND FICTIONAL INCEST HOT AT LEAST*#well at least they realize it wrt blood relatives cough GOD the disrespect people show for adoptive ties is blatant sometimes#BUT. LIKE I DONT FUCKING KNOW THAT SEEMS LIKE INCEST#LIKE *ESPECIALLY* WHEN ITS A WIERD REPLACEMENT PUPPY TRAUMA BONDING OF THE DEAD FAMILY MEMBER SLASH GIRLFRIEND THING#note that this is just my capacity to be ‘normal’ about the ship itself and people creating sibling polycules. individual lainato shippers#who just prefer the two are FINE i still think the dynamic is kinda spoiled by the whole. entire god damn 60% of the manga but like it WORKS#this is what in insufferable nerd circles that i desperately want to be in while also considering myself superior to in every way or at leas#least too pretentious to feel comfortable using their terminology is called a ‘notp’
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PR nightmare | oscar piastri
paring: oscar piastri x singer!reader
summary: y/n is considered a pr nightmare. let’s watch her get into her first relationship.
notes: yet another repost from my old account, i tired to make it exactly the same, enjoy!
— y/n has posted new pictures!
liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 737,938 others!
yoursername: my manger told me to tell you guys that the illuminati is NOT real and i was just joshing around !! 😂👍👍😂
view comments below!
user1: ugh this is SO BELIEVABLE
user2: | WAS WAITING FOR THIS POST
user3: yeah let's all ignore the "i wrote songs about an f1 driver!!!!"
user4: the pictures 😭
yourmomsuser: pic credits?
yoursername: you're like 60 why do you know what pic credits are ??
user5: the illuminati is totally real 🙄
mclaren: 👀
yourusername: NO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING PLS LOOK AWAY
user6: no offense, but how did you stumble across F2 oscar???
yourusername: my brother is like a HUGE f1, 2, AND 3 nerd and he always forces me to watch races with him 😣
yourbrothersuser: you literally ask me to tell you when oscar's back on the screen???
yourusername: okay kill yourself????
yourbrothersuser: @/yourmomsuser
yourusername: GOD YOU ARE SUCH A SNITCH
ynupdates: y/n and her brother; jacob, were seen at the airport earlier today, she later posted the picture on the right, on her story, confirming that she is in fact traveling. y/n has no shows coming up, and she rarely travels with jacob. thoughts?
view comments below!
user7: guys guys..the monaco grand prix in literally in two days.
user8: SHES GOING TO THE GRAND PRIX. I KNOW IT.
user9: why's her brother kinda??
user10: you can't even see his face 😭😭?
user9: I CAN JUST TELL
user11: everyone saying she's going to the grand prix are like getting my hopes up??????
user12: WATCH HER GO SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭
user13: okay guys..but we never talked about what songs could be about oscar
user14: IVE DONE SO MUCH THINK ABOUT THIS!!!
user13: GIRL PLEASE TELL
user14: OKAY OKAY!! one that REALLY stands out to me is "my love mine all mine" because, we all know y/n has never had a boyfriend before, SO when she writes love songs, obviously people speculate that she's in a relationship
user14: WHEN SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE INSPIRATION FOR "my love mine all mine" she said "i sadly do not have a boyfriend yet. but there is someone i've had my eye on for some time." SHE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OSCAR AND WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE
user15: istg if y/n doesn't show up in the paddock tomorrow, i will throw a fit.
liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 837,938 others!
yourusername: i could tell you where i am and what im doing, but its funny reading the theories
view comments below !
user15: are you going to a secret illuminati meeting user16: pls y/n pls just tell us
user17: this is cruel AND YOU KNOW IT
user18: pls lord, let y/n go to the monaco grand prix🙏🙏
user19: there's no way she ISNT going to the grand prix, i mean she's with her brother, and he's literally like the biggest f1 fan ever?? why else would they be traveling together
user20: maybe they're traveling together because they're siblings😭😭 ?? it doesn't have to connect to f1
yourbrothersuser: y/n pls put the phone down. i need a good nights rest for tomorrow.
user21: TOMORROW ???? IS ??? THE ???? GRAND ??? PRIX ??? ARE ???? YOU ??? GUYS ???? GOING ????
ynupdates: it seems like the rumors are true! y/n and jacob are currently at the grand prix!
view comments below!
user 22: 1 FUCKING KNEW IT
user23: everyone knew it...
user24: WHOO CAREEESSS oscar and y/n interaction WHEN ???
user25: ugh i NEED grid x y/n interactions RN
user26: y/n this, oscar that. WHAT I NEED IS TO SEE Y/NS BROTHER MEET MAX
user27: omg can you imagine how happy he is rn
— mclaren has posted new photos!
liked by yourusername, f1, yourbrother, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 837,938 others!
mclaren: monaco was a dream! thank you y/n for joining us view comments below!
view comments below!
user28: 1 SHOULVE BEEN THERE. I COULDVE METY/N. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME.
yourusername: thank you for having me🧡
user29: okay now make oscar and y/n kiss
yourbrothersuser: thank you for making my dream come true 🙏🙏
redbullracing: @/yourusername our garage next
yourusername: i think @/yourbrothersuser would enjoy that more then i ever could
redbullracing: he's always welcome to join 💙
yourbrothersuser: AHHHHHH OMG OMG
user30: okay now more grid x y/n content
user31: the way this became like a meet and greet for y/n was INSANE
user32: who would've thought there would be so many y/n fans at a F1 race??
user33: everyone's a y/n l/n fan.
— y/n has posted new photos!
liked by, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri 763,928 others!
yourusername: do you think he'll try weed with me now that he's my boyfriend?
view comments below !
user34: EXCUSE ME BOYFRIEND???
user35: OMG Y/N GOT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND!! АННННН
user36: OSCAR AND Y/N??? HELL YEAH
user37: okay let's just pretend that doesn't say what it says 😭
yourmanger: y/n please change that caption.
yourusername: i don't know how ☹️
user38: WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAPTION!!! Y/N AND OSCAR SHIPPERS RISE
mclaren: in case that caption isn't a joke, y/n please refrain from getting our drivers high.
yourusername: YOU GUYS ARE NO FUNN
user39: i love how public y/n is. like she genuinely acts like she doesn't have millions of followers
oscarpiastri: love i already told you, we cant get high.
yourusername: YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME.
maxverstappen1: i'll get high with you y/n 🙋♂️
redbullracing: no you will not.
#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri f1#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 social media au#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader
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spoil you ; p.js
jisung x fem! reader summary : the shy sporty nerd and you are alone together, how could you hold back? warnings : [ smut ] college au [all characters mentioned are adults] switch! jisung (i lied he’s honestly just a sub! jisung), swear words, handjob, fingering, use of names, orgasm !! mdni ¡¡
₊꩜˚𝜗𝜚
"what the fuck."
you gawked at the sight of park jisung walking around the hallways. his attention elsewhere, earphones plugged in his ears muting off the commotion.
"oh my god." you breathed under your breath.
"what is it?" your bestfriend shuts her locker right beside yours, shooting a judgey glance your way.
"jinni, is.." you groan. "is it just me or is this park jisung dude getting finer and finer by each passing day?"
jinni narrows her eyes before looking at you fully. "it's just you."
you shoot her an uninterested look as your eyes follow his figure turning around the hallway.
“maybe if you’re so interested in him,” your friend chuckes, “he’s got game with my brother tomorrow, you could come with me and I'll introduce you.”
your ears immediately perk up upon hearing the newfound information. “game? basketball? jisung’s on chenle’s team?”
you await for her response with curiosity bubbling inside you and when jinni nods, you squeal.
“i love you so much-AK!” your hands immediately encircle around jinni’s figure as the girl laughs against you.
“all giddy and happy over a literal nerd!”
“a hot one!” you chuckle into her shoulder.
₊꩜˚𝜗𝜚
an image of park jisung playing skillfully with an orange ball, darting across the court with his arms on display was a sight you definitely spent the night envisioning but witnessing the glamour in real time itself was something else.
the entire game your eyes were glued to his figure.
the you who was the least interested in basketball would’ve never believed the same you decided to spend your afternoon drooling over a nerd in your class dribbling around a ball.
the way his body glistened in sweat, making him shine. the crease on his brows, his long fingers bouncing the ball, his broad back dodging the other players away as he darted across the court, quickly passing the ball to his teammate with his dominant hand.
you sighed dreamily, face nestled into your palms with your elbow digging into your knees as you watched him with heart eyes. your sparkling gaze carrying half admiration and half... lust?
the bright ball squeaked loudly before bouncing back into jisung's grasp. his large hand gripping the ball with intensity as his feet reacted quickly. soon enough, as if the situation carried out in slow motion, you watched him jump into the air, the ball shooting off his hand and forwards. before you know it, it was in.
score!
the loud cheer jinni let out beside you knocked your elbow off as you got up along with her. a loud grin took over your features as you joined her silly act of hyping her brother up.
soon enough chenle strides by, him shaking a laughing jisung as he jumps in victory. jinni pulls you by the arm hastily as you both make your way down the steps.
once you both have made your way down, jinni abruptly lets go of you, embracing her brother sloppily. the action makes you yelp out slightly before a pair of arms catch you.
the same pair of arms you've been ogling at since two hours. you look up to see jisung looking down at you, his eyes slightly widened as you take your time shamelessly gaping at his features. a droplet of sweat falling off his drippy wet bangs onto your forehead as you closed your eyes in bliss as if this were a dream. jisung gulps down, obviously flustered. "hi there, [name]?" he squeaks out.
chenle's laugh beside brings you back to your senses as you glance around realizing you were just sprawled over jisung's arms like some tarantula as the siblings carried on their conversation. blinking your lashes at him you almost bump your nose with his before hurriedly getting up back to your feet. "oh! hi there, uh sorry about that."
"no! I mean that's fine, uh you're.. at the game?" he asks with a shy yet 'what the hell was that' look, fingers grazing the back of his head.
"yep!" you beam at him, "figured I'd keep jinni company today. didn't know you played too."
"oh!" jisung laughs timidly, "it wasn't until recently, chenle dragged me in somehow." he shrugs out.
making an action of covering your mouth, you say to jisung with narrowed eyes, "I think when it comes to basketball, chenle drags everyone in anyway."
jisung mimics your action, crouching down to your eye level with with a funny look mirroring you, "I think so too."
you both giggle before leaning back away from each other. you part your lips open to finally drop the question, "would y..."
would you like to go get dinner with me later?
your sentence evaporating into thin air as you watch jisung abruptly get pulled away by his teammate along with chenle towards their coach, where the rest of the team was celebrating.
your shoulders hung down before which jisung turns his head back smiling at you and mouthing 'sorry'. the grin on his face wiped away as he collides into his group of friends.
the sight making you snort loudly as you watch jisung scurry away in embarrassment scratching his head. oh he's such a loser. a loser you were already falling for.
"miss ma'am has a crush huh?"
"jinni!" you jumped as your friend appeared out of nowhere. "oh lord, you're still here?"
"not anymore!" she smiles wide before pushing a backpack and keys into your arms hurriedly.
"what's this?" you frown, ready to hand it back to her.
she moves away quickly, dodging you, "keep this in chenle's locker please please please, I've got a date, okay bye!"
as soon as you're processing her words you look up to see her already running towards the exit.
"no, no, jinni! not the locker room ew!"
"c'mon, you owe me one!" were the last words you heard before her figure disappeared from the door. you sigh before looking around to see student and teachers starting to move out.
boys locker room. gross.
₊꩜˚𝜗𝜚
twisting the knob you entered the space. the place slightly warmer than outside as you walked in. looking around all you could see were rows of red lockers lined up.
further walking into the space your eyes roamed until noticing the number you were looking for. 106. you insert the keys in as you twist them around. tutting with a frown you withdrew the keys upon hearing no click.
deciding to check one more time, you brought the keys closer to the keyhole.
before you could twist them around again a tap against the back of your shoulder made you jump. “what the actual- oh!”
and like the terrible luck you carried with you it had to be park jisung who spot you in the men’s locker room!
he was still in his jersey with a teal towel hanging off his shoulder. a surprised expression on his face as he raised his brows in question.
beyond bewildered you turned to fully face him as you let the rambling began.
“uh this isn’t what it looks like- I was just here to you see-“ you held the bag towards his face before continuing, “keep this in chenle’s locker but for some odd reason the keyhole won’t budge godda-“
jisung put a finger against your lips.
oh fucking hell.
he chuckled before continuing, “shh, anybody could come in anytime, unless you don’t mind being spot in the men’s locker room. and by the way, that’s my locker. chenle’s is beside.”
with a quiet ‘oh’ you were about to back up before your luck worsened as you heard a few noises emerge from the door. someone had entered.
a trail of curses left your mouth as you unknowingly clutched the boys shirt.
jisung spotting your grip, hastily press himself against you with an attempt to hide you.
and as if the commotion elsewhere had turned a blur to your vision your gaze darted towards the boy. you held your breath. the sweat decorating his body made him glow almost, his eyes wide and sparkling kept a watch beside in alarm, sweat dripping down his sharp adams apple as you took in his defined collarbones.
his toned body pressed against yours slowly driving you insane as things you shouldn’t be thinking floated around your mind.
he probably didn’t even notice you sticking closer to him, lessening the gap just to get more of him.
your eyes stuck at his lips. so close and so tempting. plump and sweet enough for you just to lean in and suck on them.
the thoughts running in your mind interrupted as jisung grabbed your forearm. in surprise you looked at him who only turned towards you gulping.
the last thing you process is his lips against your ears as he whispered a don’t freak out and grabbed you. next thing you know he’s pulling you to the opposite direction and all of a sudden the door shut pulling you into a compact room. wait, more like a booth?
and that’s when you realise you’re in one of the the shower booths with literal park jisung.
park jisung who was leaning against the door slightly panting with his eyes closed breathing a sigh out. as soon as he reopened his eyes and looked at you the realization hit as the boy took a step towards you.
“im sorry” he whispered. “the crews out, we can’t leave for a while.”
“that’s alright," you sigh out. "thanks for the saving though.”
a subtle teasing smile replaced on his lips as he raised his brows, “so, what were you doing with my locker?” he leaned closer.
“hey! I said i thought that was chenle’s!”
“mhm.” the boys grin grew wider and so did your eyes.
“listen! I was just keeping his bag in like jinni had asked me too, guess I must’ve misremembered the number because I was thrashing the keys into yours, not like i knew that was yours, obviously! why would i even like ever open your locker in the first p-“
a loud thud on the door and a ramble of the knob.
“hey! this booth empty?”
shit.
jisung quickly fidgeted the water knob, turning it on as mildly warm water showered down immediately from the showers.
“yeah dude this one’s occupied!”
“aight, my bad.” the footsteps turned away as jisung hastily made an poor attempt of covering himself from the water.
he turned back hissing only for more water to spray over him. his clothes started getting wet within no time. realizing he had no spare he started with pulling his shirt over his head.
realization hit quickly enough as he turned towards you who was cornered away from the water with concerningly wide eyes. words barely forming in his throat as he got out, “oh my god! oh my god oh my god I’m so sorry, I should’ve taken you to notice it’s just that I didn’t have a spare so I, I just-“
as if you had decided to throw away all you shame dignity and presence of mind today , your fingers found the hem of your top. “what are you…” his eyes widened more than they already were.
and before he knew it, there you stood in lacey bra tossing your removed shirt over to him. “don’t have a spare too, keep this dry with yours.”
“o-oh um yeah I-I’ll do that I g-guess uhm” his pupils shaked as you sucked a breath in finally taking up him shirtless. his body were literally perfection. the abs subtle yet hard. his body lean but muscular and toned. shoulders wide and frame long as hell.
if it weren’t for the water for sure you would’ve been caught drooling over him.
soon your fingers graze the waistband of your skirt, lingering them around until the boy turns. and soon enough those drop down too. you throw them over him as he barely catches it, distracted from the view in front.
“keep that dry too.”
“uhm! your u-uh un… under garments might just get wet any way so there’s like not really a point I think I don’t know it’s up to you not like im asking you to get soaked you know season change and bad cold spreading around the campus like crazy nowadays all that but I’m just saying they’d get wet nevertheless-“
“I think I’m already wet.” you took a step towards him.
yeah, you’ve lost your darn mind.
jisung’s eyes widen and you could almost giggle the way he’s trying to keep his eyes off your body. “o-OH!, wait I think I brought the towel with me, you could cover yourself with that, it must be somewh-“
“no jisung,” you step even close, so close that jisung’s breath gets hung up in his throat as he barely manages to poorly squeak out a confused yelp like a mouse caught in a trap.
“I’m wet.”
and like a light bulb lighting up in his head his frown dissolves with realization and you soon feel his hand hovering over your hips with uncertainty. “you're uhm like... wet there?”
you hum lightly, reaching up to his shorts and hooking up your fingers around them. “so wet.” your other hand over his as you make him grip your waist. don't hesitate.
as if his demeanors slightly changed jisung’s movements tense up as he looks as you with gaze swirling slowly with need. “f-for me?”
“for you, since so long. I’ve been thinking about you since forever. i want you now please.” and your arm sneaks in his boxers. palming his growing bulge as you try now to waver by his astonishing length.
“want mommy too?” you whisper into his ears, whipping out his dick.
jisung almost melts into puddle under your touch. his surprised gasp evident when you stroke him slowly. “p-please oh fuck... ah!”
you almost gawk over him. his cock long and hard. veins adorning around and tip already wet by the precum surfacing. running a thumb over his leaky tip you feel jisung shake slightly, his lower half digging into your palm beyond desperate.
feeling yourself already damp your underwear, you begin to fasten your movements yet keeping a slow pace, enough to have him whimpering in a public shower.
your hands glide over his length up and down before you let your free hand unclasp your bra. the garment loosening as you yank it off and toss it towards the clothes piled.
jisung’s eyes sparkle as he looks at your for approval. the nod you pass makes him gulp as he advances towards you. his hands cup your breasts together as he explores around with his thumbs over your tits.
your eyes close as you start pumping his cock again.
the sudden movement makes jisung jerk slightly as he quickly opens his mouth and takes your nipple in. your breath hitches as you feel his warm tongue circle around your nub teasingly.
stimulated enough, you spit into your hand before beginning to jerk him off again.
the pitched moan jisung let’s out gets muffled over your chest as you let out a shaky breath near his ears.
you speed your motions further, glancing below to see his frown increase. he sucks onto your breast tightly before pulling out.
the soft shaky breaths evolve into deep sighs which soon before short suppressed whimpers as your palm fiercely pumps his length.
his body is heaving along with your movements as his frown keeps increasing. his lower lip trapped between his teeth as the groans barely keep in.
“I’m.. ah im!”
“you are what?” you snap as jisung quickly whines out.
“mommy! mhm, I’m so close..”
you lean towards him licking his earlobe slightly, your movements constant. “are you gonna cum for me baby? make a mess here hm?”
“I’m gonna cum for you, faster please..” as soon as the words leave his lips you take a moment to admire his fucked out state.
his eyes rolled back, brows pulled together, breath hitched as uncontrollable whimpers leak out of his lips.
you almost moan out at the sight. feeling your underwear turn uncomfortably wet you use your free hand to take it off. as soon as your soaked core feels air against it you sigh.
"ever since I've seen you, all I've wanted to do was spoil you." you murmur against his mouths as his eyes flutter shut, whining.
your lips meeting jisungs as you take your time. sucking and biting the lower and upper lip hungrily. your tongue quickly slipping into jisungs parted mouth.
as soon as his tongue gives up against yours you know he’s close. you pull out, focusing on getting him off, your fingers tightly curled around his cock as you pump him up and down over and over, whispering dirty things into his ears watching him lose his mind. “I can’t- I’m..!”
you feel him shaking sharply as he groans pitch up, he clumsily moves his crotch against you in need and before you know it, warm streaks of cum are sprawled all over your chest and arm.
“you did so well baby.” you pamper him, kissing the crown of his head as he leans towards your touch with his eyes closed, panting heavily. a deep blush over his cheeks an.d his face entirely flushed.
"damn, could've asked me out atleast." he breathes out as you roll your eyes.
jisung regains his composure after a while as he finally notices your dripping core. his eyes hook on the sight. his one arm sliding over your inner thigh and the other swiftly pulls you over. “think I’d return the favor.”
after the glance towards you, his hand is already advancing towards you, parting your thighs as he stares at your pussy. his thumb pressing over your slit as he rubs the spot. feeling beyond aroused, you lean back with a sigh. soon his index finger is in, gathering the wetness as he caresses your folds while his thumb rubs your bud.
a choked moan is released from you when he pushes the finger in you “ji…”
“gonna make mommy feel so good.” he kisses your knee and you swear you almost fall in love with the dude.
next thing you know, three of his fingers are ramming up inside you while his other hand grips into your flesh, keeping your legs wide open despite the squirming. “ji baby ah! oh o- oh my god!”
in no time, he’s learned your pussy by the back of his hand already, his fingers curl in against your g spot as you moan out terribly, tears springing to your eyes. he begins the thrusting again as you press a palm against the wall to keep you from colliding with the wall.
meanwhile he’s having the time of his life. watching his mommy get fucked and moan so sweet but ruthlessly just by his fingers. the way your eyes roll back and jaw falls slack, legs shake uncontrollably and breasts with nipples painfully erect bounce glistening with the running water, jisung just wanted to see you fucked out.
he wonders if he’s making you feel so good by his fingers just how good would his cock feel deep in you, stretching you out, hitting all kinds of positions, thrusting with a pace that leaves you begging for more, his fat cock abusing your pussy by pounding into you despite your orgasm, making you scream overstimulated.
the sight that he’s blessed of yours right now makes him want to make you cum over and over again. with his fingers, mouth, cock- until his cum is overflowing out of you.
his thoughts are interrupted by your grip on his arm. “I’m close baby, so close just fuck me like that mhm.”
filled with determination, jisung leaves you stunned as he tilts you sideways, hitting a new angle as he resumes moving his fingers into your swollen puffy cunt again and again.
your moans no longer suppressed, you cry out loudly as he fucks to you. your whimpers broken and choppy synchronized with his thrusts until you squirm wildly, feeling your orgasm wash over you. your body falls limp against his as he holds you gently, hands caressing your thighs.
if someone told you a few days ago you would be entangled in this situation with the park jisung in some boys shower room, you wouldn't have believed that in a million years. funny how dreams come true.
his fingers grazing against your head as the others clutch you for support as you lay against him, panting. you could almost feel the feelings unfurl in your heart for him. something that made you want to become the only person to lay in his arms like this ever in such euphoria.
the blissful feeling not lasting for long as you both hear the click of the door. the inserting of keys. dangling and clicking of metal. footsteps walking away.
the both of your eyes widen as you pull yourself off him. "did we just get fucking locked out?!"
oh, shit.
an original iceonneo work.
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