#yes the idiot son tax is blurry. he wiggles a lot when asshole sibling takes his picture

[toxicrevolver]

I’VE ACQUIRED A PICTURE OF THE STUPID TURTLE MY IDIOT SON LIVES WITH.

Thor (stupid turtles actual name) is not a huge fan of being found. Hence why him and the arm holding him are covered in fuzz. He was hiding and according to my sibling (the arm pictured) he did not want to be found.

Said sibling is over at @staticmonster999 and can vouch for what I’m about to say about this dummy.

So we acquired Thor in the most unusual way. We already had a box turtle (Tony) but she was in the bathtub having a soak when Thor showed up so irrelevant. The front door of our house was open bcs air flow while cleaning. And this stupid fucker just. Walked in. He fucking walked into our house. And wouldn’t leave. We tried. Several times. We lived next to a field and there was a tree line on one side so first we placed him out in the field and the second and third time we put him by the tree line. Nope. It didn’t stick. He walked back to our house and just waltzed on in as if he fucking lived there. We’re pretty sure he was an abounded pet (we lived next to a bougie neighborhood full of dickbags.) so we just gave up and kept him. We already had one box turtle so owning two wasn’t much different.

Now Thor currently terrorizes my idiot son, 2 doofus dogs, and anyone else who goes to the house he’s at bcs he free roams. His shell used to be a bit flatter so when he would get flipped on his back he’d just be stuck, and now that he’s domed out more he is capable of flipping himself back over but chooses not too. Because he’s lazy. So if he gets flipped upside down he just lays there until someone flips him right side up again. He likes worms. Like an unhealthy amount. Little dude will gorge himself on them so we have to limit his work intake.

If you have stupid turtle questions ask away and I’ll try to answer or I’ll ask my sibling. I’ll also answer Sherbie questions bcs that’s my idiot son and we love him here.

Idiot son tax:

Honorary tags: @smushedmuffin @haahka (if y’all ever don’t wanna be tagged anymore let me know)