#my poor back cant take it
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My Edward and Lydia designs :3 I enjoyed the clown themes they had in the graphic novel so I added some of that into my designs, Edward has spades/clubs patterns and Lydia has Hearts/Diamonds patterns ^_^
#the lich designs are just silly because I didnt feel like making another set of thoroughly thought out designs#my poor back cant take it#anyways next on my list is lucretia davenport and barry :3#then finally redraw the silly little image of them all together at the end of the graphic novel heehee#i hart them so much...wah#the adventure zone balance#the adventure zone#taz edward#taz lydia#taz wonderland#the suffering game#taz fanart#character design
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THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)
#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST#SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG#their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart#ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT#THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK#IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER#BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED#HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG#THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE#viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH#I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS#okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl#IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee#check out my main artblog. GO!!!
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i like to cause myself pain so i’m rereading this💔
the way this always messes me up so badly
#poor michael#my baby :(#he didn’t deserve that shit at all#he was literally so in love with robert and that rejection was so fucking brutal my heart cant take it#i hc that robert loved him back just had v severe internalised homophobia#i would kill to see more of them :(#michael wayland#robert lightwood#michael x robert#waywood#the mortal instruments#tales from the shadowhunter academy#cassandra clare#tftsa#tmi#tsc
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okay i tthink i did it YIPPEEEE
#I FINALLY TOOK A GOOD PICTURE GOOD GOD#taking my words back that is a very mid picture at best#but. i cant stress abough how bad my camera is#that mark scene where he sobs and vomits after seeing his friends mothers corpse is probably. the one embedded more in my brain#poor guy... love seeing you suffer though!#the other ones just alt!cesar being so so silly! maybe a little joking around even#dont ask about the unfinsihed hood on marks drawing. its all in your head. not real /j#hail true body au#OH WAIT I FORGOR#tw emetophobia#my art
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like it is a wild thing to say that higher education in its current iteration is a scam made to promise the working class a better life only to sink us into impossible debts that we can never repay and are just another way to keep the working class working for the wealthy. anywho!
#going to college and then going back to working class jobs is like the rich sayint “youve had your fun now get back to serving us”#i dont talk abt stuff like this here but im kind of losing my mind#if youre poor /from a poor background even if you get a degree you cant get a job in that field because#youre expected to take a job for pennies when you dont have “connections”#and when youre so far in debt you have to take the working class job that just barely gets you by instead#and can never break out#anyways#amory rambles#if you went to private school dont clown here youre on thin ice
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new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#von valancius#if i ever mention about marazhai going insane on the voidship this is what i want you to think of#understimulated predator animal in a cage claws itself open#its worse with her but i do think he generally feels kinda insane anyway#yeah he's tricked into thinking she's tolerable and a fair alternative to the arena then hes taken to the voidship#yrliet [who was the fixation until now] tries to warn him about her before getting her head bashed in infront of him#spirit stone smashed into shards for ritual use body dragged off for vague poor medical knowledge dissection#he is now thinking the arena might not be so bad after all. except he's got no way to back out of this so hes screaming clawing at the wall#shes not giving him up willingly and the only person who could take him by force is calcazar whos not a great alternative tbh!#so he gets to go insane being bait for the chaos god he's already ocd fixated is stealing his soul [on top of normal drukhari fears]#and he's not able to maul anyone else while locked up so its just him dealing with this alone! yay#she doesnt give a shit about pasqal until he gets xenotech in him. then he goes to the trophy room too for study/more grafts#heinrix is most likely captive in the trophy room too with his death faked so he cant snitch#idira Almost got in trouble too for the implant she gets from tervantias but then it breaks and this lass is just angry at her#the Only reason she doesnt feed her to the wolves and kick her out is her door. and she is now trying to force it open with a crowbar#abelard has to deal with her shit and manage it socially. he never thought he'd want to retire but fucking hell when can he quit#she likes jae mostly for her connections. toxic yuri theyre both using eachother#she briefly idolises achilleas for bringing her to commorragh but then finds out he did it under torture and didnt want to. mad at him#he can make it up to her once hes a wrack though [he is going next to marazhai. this will only improve both their mental states]#can you tell this freak is a piece of work yet#shes got screams of the damned volume 3 playing across the ship and shes having a great time but is completely deadpan the whole time#unrelated! you can finally see my idea of marazhai next to a normal fucking human good god. yeah i think hes huge
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actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)
#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it#this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself#and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure''#but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given#which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin#it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo#like he's been through enough!#because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them#when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person#yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon#but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi#get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are#like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow#i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice#or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it#i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#joyousposting
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just witnessed in real time some lad spam liking a bunch of my post, commented “WHAT” on my NSFW drawing and IMMEDIATELY blocked me
#cracken whispers#poor dude are you okay I’m sorry for the psychic damage I dealt but it was very funny to see this unravel in front of me it’s so dramatic#and it’s not even a terrible one it’s the cuntboy Hakon one which honestly if you cant take it you should back off my blog for your own good
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#i remember when downloading and installing PC programs were straightforward and quick#and that was when i had minimum everything and basic computer knowledge.. helped my dad setup gaming computers back then for our business..#but right now im installing Minecraft its SOOOOO FINICKY AND COMPLICATED what the hell are all these secret errors???!!!#Microsoft really like to shove every product of theirs down everyone's throats.. its like a whole cactus halfway through my esophagus atm..#i felt incredibly violated when one of the errors cant be fixed unless you install Edge.. thats just mischievous and in poor taste..#this is ridiculous.. it takes a whole day figuring out how to install FUCKING MINECRAFT!!! M I N E C R A F T!!!!!!!!!!#wyn talks :)
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english is the only thing im good at. it's the only thing that ever made me feel proud. i knew for so long that it was my purpose. i can't do nothing but translate and i will never make a living with the only thing i ever felt passion for. i'm stuck like this because i can't even find the will to finish high school and i hate myself so much for it. no amount of volunteering or anglophone friends will fill me if i can't have a job to prove how fucking good i am.
#saw a girl that I can't even describe what kind of relationship we had working at this place and i just started crying akl the way back home#trying to explain to my boyfriend what the fuck happened to me#she's puerto rican she was raised speaking english she knows but i knew more and it's such an asshole thing to say but i was so proud#that i was better than her. i learned bt myself and i knew so much more.#and im so envious that she gets to work teaching english and i don't. and it's literally because i was just too stupid to finish high school#lmao#i was doing so fucking good in university. i really really was. and then covid 💀#im sad now#we still dont have a fridge so i had to do the walk of shame to my mom's to take our stuff there#oh poor thing u cant afford a new one no i cant👍no we didn't even have that much stuff to begin with👍no i still dont have a serious job👍#nope they don't pay me it's volunteer👍
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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My heart really goes out to those in the Appalachias hit by the hurricane and the flooding. Its terrible 😭💔
#and it really hurts knowing thats already a struggling region#and the government aint going to do shit to help#they dont care about these people#hell thats part of the reason things got so bad#theres no money going towards their Infrastructure#theyre an ignored people#and if i hear ONE WORD abt “they should have evacuated”#im gonna start taking names and throwing hands#shut the fuck uuuuuuup#its the poor and disabled that cant get out#and the poor and disabled who get hurt first#and besides#these people had damn near no warning#they're land locked#theyre in the mountains#flooding is rare and they arent built to withstand it#and flash floods are different#it goes from 0-100 in seconds#sorry im heated#and sad#i just love the Appalachias and its people#such rich culture and communities#gone#you can rebuild#but it'll never be the same#youll never get that back#here in southern ohio we got hit a bit too#i had to stay at my sisters bc it was too unsafe to drive home from work#so many people are without power#and one town got flooded
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Some strange blue and black-striped liquid comes out from him..... It's ....kinda yucky...
#sosordid#rotdame#;o.beron#/one time when i was a kid; this other kid stomped over some sort of cricket??? and i swear in my memory i recall that#when it got crushed; the liquids that came out of that cricket were like blue and black?!?!#i headcanon o.beron's blood looks like that#ARE U HAPPY TARA? NOW HIS POOR FRAIL WINGS ARE BROKEN LIKE THE SHELL OF AN EGG-#(he will come back)#elliot holding him up and oberon's texture is that of a beanie plushie#b...burry me...with my people.... where the clovers grow... (he is lying)#U CANT GET RID OF THE FAE THAT EASILY#u have to take out the vaccum- seal him like the lil demon he is- haha i mean what-
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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....
#like. i fully knew this would happen#but the moment is just. so disheartening#'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost#the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously#shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out#and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real#and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much#more horrible than she was taking it as#also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person#but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely#and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same#if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home#safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there#maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no#when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation#and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much#shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty#which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc#even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't#but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes#but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers#and bos paladins#)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed#because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time#oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary#my poor girl.... i think she died young#young as in like. 30-40
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I'm so fucking tired of ppl assuming I'm a teenage boy I'm not that young and I'm not a guy and it's funny when it happens occasionally and I'm in an amiable mood and idm being a little gnc ik I present somewhat masc even if its not rly intentional and ik my autistic/adhd mannerisms make me come across a little childish sometimes even if im constantly masking at work or in public and I can't control how other ppl perceive me and ik its natural for the human brain to make social assumptions all the time bc there's so much information going in and out it has to process so it automatically categorises shit so I don't mind it happening OCCASIONALLY but I've been getting so fucking many unnecessary comments lately and not just from strangers but ppl I know too and if one more person says some offhand shit to me I'm going to black out and bite until there's blood leave me the fuck ALONE
#got home and im so so so angry its not even that big a deal i dont even get annoyed when it happens every now and then#but these last few weeks ive had a fucking deluge of weird comments abt my age and my gender i dont fucking know why its happening more#and ive had enough im abt to snap. its been on the back of my mind as a vague irritation but it just keeps fucking building#so much stupid shit i cant even list it all here and its not just ppl mistaking me but sometimes going out of their way to be rude#and the fucking misogynistic shit ppl keep saying to me too especially at work please fuck off forever and die#i dont wanna get into it bc ill just get more pissed off im just gonna go cry in the shower and then ill be fine after#probably just feeling it more today bc i didnt take my afternoon meds anyway. altho this isnt the only time its upset me so.#ugh whatever..... its out of my control. and im not gonna go out of my way to try and conform more easily to other ppls ideas of me#bc im comfortable in myself and my body and with how i present so im not going to change that. just tired of dealing with assholes#and im tired of constant misunderstandings its much more than this superficial assumptions abt appearances like ppl who know me keep#making wrong assumptions or miscommunicating or just general poor judgement and that bothers me way more but its much harder to express#so im just getting more angry at the superficial shit as a proxy for it. ugh!!!!#well anyway. hopefully theres enough hot water left for me i want a scalding shower#grinds my teeth so loudly#.diaries#.vent
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