#my other defense is: i was here first

[imunbreakabledude]

realized that the reason i dislike ppl calling maeve "maggie" and the reason i dislike the shipname "maevelight" are opposite reasons. but also kind of the same reason. (i don't like the 'real' name being used for maeve because it's all but said she doesn't prefer it in canon, and I don't like "light" or "starlight" being used in the shipname because annie EXPLICITLY distances herself from the name "starlight" in canon. so really it is the same reason but it's just kind of funny)

[bsaka7]

Breakdown of time spent in zone for the first and second lines of the Minnesota Wild. We're only 13% of the way through the season (11GP) but you can see that Kaprizov's spends LESS even-strength time in the offensive zone and MORE time in the defensive zone compared to 23-24. Rossi and Zuccarello see this same trend . The second line of Johansson, Ek, and Boldy remains largely similar to their 23-24 percentages, though Boldy spends more time in the defensive zone than last year. Overall, the team is spending slightly more time in the neutral zone and defensive zone than in 23-24, though obviously the results are thus-far going our way.

Please note that Kaprizov's slide shows all-strength and even-strength stats by year, so to compare his 23-24 and 24-25 even-strength percentages, those would be upper right and lower right in the graphic. All other stats shown are even strength.

[morninkim]

As a show of good faith toward the remaining Decepticons at the beginning of a new, united Cybertron, newly appointed Senators Bumblebee and Soundwave allowed Shatter and Dropkick to enlist into Autobot City's Defense Team.

These two turned out to be... not the best choices.

The city may have fallen to Insurgent Decepticon occupation had it not been for young recruits Hot Rod and Arcee's accidental interception of Shatter's communication with the fugitive Starscream.

To replace the errant Defense Team members, Springer and Blurr were reassigned from Iacon to Autobot City in their stead.

[blossomwithsunshine]

Why Tsubaki Yayoi is the Best and Most Interesting Character in Blazblue and Everyone is Wrong About Her

Alternate Title: Tsubaki is a Good, Interesting, Tragic, and Misunderstood Character so You're Wrong, Actually

I have noticed during my time in the fandom that this girl is demonized and gets A LOT of hate from the BB community, mainly calling her a "bitch", "stupid", "annoying''', "incestous simp," etc. At best, she's a very divisive character who does have some fans who correctly say she's overhated, but besides either of those, she'll be largely ignored despite her being a pretty major character. (I guess because she's not a "waifu" or "fanservicey" like most of the other girls. I side-eye anyone who doesn't like her outfit.) Literally the only thing not divisive or hated about her is her theme song.

I quite frankly think the hate is for misogynistic and crappy reasons from people who don't pay attention and has gone on for long enough, so here's my big defense post about Tsubaki Yayoi that I've been wanting to write for a while now where I explain why her character works in the story as best as I can. Strap in, folks. This is gonna take a while.

(Warnings: Mentions of incest, inbreeding, and grooming. Spoilers for Blazblue in general, mainly the parts revolving around Tsubaki. Also long af.)

Let's start with her beginnings because where else is a better place to start off? Talking about her backstory is VERY important when discussing Tsubaki since she has went through plenty of trauma. The Yayoi family is a family that places a lot of importance on their lineage and bloodline. However, they placed so much importance on their own bloodline that in trying to birth strong children, they resorted to incest and inbreeding, meaning that Tsubaki is a product of incest. All the children that were born, expect for one, would end up dying. The one child that survived was Tsubaki. Thus, she ended up being the heiress to the Yayoi family.

Her family is pretty much a cult, especially since the Imperator is basically a God. The family basically raised Tsubaki to serve and have full faith in the Imperator, no matter what. In gameplay, she mentions God in a few of her attacks so even in that, the cult-like philosophy she grew to have is showcased.

Does all this sound insane and messed up? That's because it is. Keep in mind of all of this since it gives plenty more context into her character. It's worth noting that this is the first big thing we learn about her in her arcade mode in Continuum Shift, the game she's first playable in.

So from the get go, it's already clear Tsubaki had a rough childhood, having a family resorting to incest, being the only child to survive, and she's essentially raised in a cult. This is when she meets Jin Kisaragi, a boy who is similar in age to her (probably just around a month older if I had to guess). Tsubaki is happy at the prospect of meeting someone who is similar in age to her, befriending him, and even calls him her brother as a result. Keep in mind, all of her siblings died, and she only knew her parents, teachers & relatives. She basically has a sheltered life and hasn't spoken to any other children her age, besides maybe her relatives (if they were close in age to her). Is it any wonder that she's overjoyed at the prospect at finally meeting another child. And yes, while it does seem weird she calls him "Jin nii-sama", I find it hard to blame her since not only was she calling him that since she was a child and thus that's what she's used to, it's also that incest has been so normalized in her family

I'll talk about her relationship with Jin later, so for now, I'll talk about how she's like at NOL Academy. It is here that she becomes roommates with Noel Vermillion and Makoto Nanaya, but they weren't exactly friends at first sight. In fact, Makoto distrusted the two at first due to her being bullied for being a beastkin. Later, a few students start to bully Makoto for being exactly that and Noel for her status and family. Thankfully, Tsubaki stops the bullying and sets the mean girls straight.

Tsubaki: I can't even stand the sight of your deformed mouths from all the foul language and your sunken eyes from looking down at others... I truly feel sorry for your so-called "family name."

And yet, people call Tsubaki a bitch. SMH. Of course, Tsubaki becomes best friends with Noel and Makoto after this and she's very kind to the two, helping them whenever they need it and only chastising them when they're being silly, like any other 'straight man' in a comedy.

It's after this that she becomes part of the NOL so that brings me to my next talking point, her arc in Continuum Shift.

In Continuum Shift, she is tasked by Hazama to kill Jin and Noel for deflecting from the NOL. Tsubaki's entire life has been based around NOL propaganda and she's basically been indoctrinated to be the perfect soldier for the NOL so she has grown to be very dependent on them. Is it really a surprise that she's not going to act logically? In her point of view, she's making the most rational choices of what's been given to her. Even smart people like Tsubaki can get indoctrinated and groomed.

The reason I even put the term "groomed" is because while yes, being groomed sexually is the most common way to be groomed, grooming can happen in other ways, even when you're an adult. In Tsubaki's case, she was groomed from a religious standpoint.

I think another thing that gets ignored is that Tsubaki is not completely for the idea. She even thinks that Jin and Noel have reasons for turning their backs on the NOL and just wanted to talk to them at first. However, since she's been groomed to never doubt the NOL, she has to go through with it anyway. It's plain to see in her arcade mode that she has plenty of concerns about it. In fact, when she sees Jin, she doesn't want to fight him and just tries to tell him to go back to the NOL. It's only when Jin refuses and takes out his sword that Tsubaki fights back.

Even after she beats him, she doesn't take the opportunity to execute him like she was tasked to do and again, just tells him to return to the NOL. She didn't even think she would beat him! She also would've probably done the same thing if she fought Noel and if Hazama hadn't come to manipulate her again.

Oh yeah, speaking of Hazama, Tsubaki is hated for letting Hazama manipulating her and she's called a stupid bitch as a result, but let's bring up a scene in his route, showing how he manipulates her, shall we?

When he talks to her, he does so at first, by giving her praises, as manipulators are prone to do, and it really feels that this is what Tsubaki wanted to hear for quite some time now, even with her confusion at first. He says she's kind, graceful, intelligent, beautiful, etc., even calling her the heroine, basically smooth-talking her. He even points out how it's rather unfair that someone like Tsubaki could be put in a low-ranking position like the Wings of Justice, even calling it the garbage disposal like how some of the other characters call it.

Of course, he doesn't genuinely feel that way. It's all so he can make Tsubaki more comfortable around him more and that she'll believe anything he tells her.

After this, he basically tells her there's another timeline where Noel doesn't exist and Tsubaki is Jin's secretary instead. The sad thing is that Hazama isn't even entirely wrong when he says this.

There actually is a timeline where Tsubaki is Jin's secretary, and this is explored in a drama CD called The Wheel of Fortune. However, Hazama leaves out one important detail...Tsubaki ends up getting killed in that timeline, which he is more than aware of. However, this is not something Tsubaki herself would have any way of knowing. The only time she technically does find out is through Izayoi's arcade mode in Central Fiction, which is a few games ahead.

Tsubaki did see this vision of her working alongside Jin when first wielding the Izayoi. She does try to hide that she saw this vision from Hazama, but he reads her like a book and calls her out for lying, even saying before that he can't stand liars. Again, not much reason for Tsubaki to think he’s the one lying. He's an important figure of the NOL, so why should she doubt him?

Also, if she's told there's a world where she can be with the man she loves, why wouldn't she want that and be angry she can't now? And especially when Hazama leaves out the fact that would end with her DEAD?? Would she be mad at Noel if she knew that part? I highly doubt it.

Tsubaki finally shows the jealousy, hate, and anger that she's been bottling up for a while since she basically got robbed. Hazama tells her it's not wrong for her to feel that way and that none of this is her fault, basically motivating her to kill Noel.

One of the main reasons Tsubaki gets hate is for her hating Noel and trying to kill her since she "took her place" as Jin's secretary in the NOL. This’ll explain more of her contempt.

One important thing to realize is that Tsubaki was basically raised to be an "ideal woman." (Or Yamato Nadeshiko for those who know what that is). She's calm and level-headed, she's a heiress to an important family, she's a Straight A student, and she's the closest to Jin out of anyone. It seems like the role would be given to her on a silver platter (and it WAS in the first timeline, actually!) But then comes Noel, who seemingly is not as talented, her family is not of high status, she's not close to Jin at all, and is basically not seen as deserving of it as Tsubaki is.

Tsubaki is instead put in a lower position than Noel, the Wings of Justice, something that is infamous and basically hated from everyone who has heard of it since they're basically the military police. Which, I know "Lol she's a cop"...she's not the only character that's a cop, 'K? Let's move on.

Another noteworthy detail to note is that Tsubaki just hid her resentment about this for a long time and didn't blow up at Noel until she is told she could've HAD that opportunity if Noel didn't exist. Tsubaki didn’t want to feel that way since she knew it was wrong for her to do so, but now you have Hazama telling her it’s not wrong for her to feel that way.

The 3rd important thing is that during their fight, Tsubaki....can't bring herself to kill Noel. Even when she's angry, hates Noel for taking her place, and has the advantage over her, she STILL cannot find it in herself to kill Noel. Even through this, she values their friendship too much for that to happen. Then Hazama comes and fucks it all up, because he's Hazama.

The next thing I'll mention is the Izayoi. The Izayoi is basically the biggest indicator of Tsubaki's character, as it's heavily showcased in her lore and gameplay. The Izayoi is a weapon that has the ability to steal light so that its user can utilize it in someway, mostly in battle. However, its biggest downside is that it can also steal light from its user, and if used too much, can blind and even kill them (which happens to Tsubaki in her bad ending). The Izayoi causes physical and mental harm to Tsubaki throughout the game, blinding her and causing her mental torment in who and what she should fight for to achieve true justice. The term "blind justice" is in full effect here.

It's through this game that we see Tsubaki as a woman who is full of doubts of who she is, what her place is in the world, who she should fight for, why should she fight, and is struggling with her ideas of what true justice is. She becomes so isolated that the only person she has on her side is a manipulative coworker who subjects her to further conditioning. The main question in her mind throughout is this: Should she follow the organization she's been groomed to follow her whole life or should she follow her friends, the two people she's been closest to her whole life? By the time she figures out the truth about Hazama, it's already too late and she is subjected to further brainwashing, leading her to "choose" the latter. This leads us into Chronophantasma.

There's not much to talk about with that game in comparison but it'll be more straightforward because of one important detail: She gets hate for her Chronophantasma depiction because she's a villain and is trying to kill Jin, Noel, and Makoto, but this completely ignores that Tsubaki....isn't herself for the majority of the game??? The Imperator is fucking up her head and Tsubaki at that point is completely brainwashed by the Mind Eater. PSST, I think the black outfit and red eyes she has should be a sign that she's brainwashed. Also, the "Mind Eater" name should give it away too.

Jin, Noel, and Makoto work together to save Tsubaki from the Mind Eater, but this is when Izanami has completely taken over her mind and is talking through her. It's pretty clear during the fight that Tsubaki is struggling and trying to break free from the Imperator's control, which, thanks to the three's help, does happen!

One aspect I love and that I feel is not talked about is a small scene where Tsubaki is in the inner depths in her mind, and coming to terms that she has darkness in her heart. From there, she wants to atone for every bad thing she did to Jin, Noel, and Makoto, and wants to return how they feel towards her. From there, she breaks free of the Imperator's curse and now wants to fight for the people she loves, since that's how she can achieve true justice.

Real talk, her fight against these three, awakening as Izayoi, and breaking out of the Imperator's control is one of the best moments in the entire franchise. Don't @ me.

Now, let's talk about her relationship with Jin. There's plenty of claims about their relationship being a toxic mess that would never work out and while I can't deny it's not entirely healthy, I don't think it's as much of a mess as people say it is. People say she has no reason to love him since he's just an asshole which, while fair, is not how I personally see it. I actually think it's rather reasonable why she would love him, so I'll explain why from her point of view.

I heard stuff like how Jin doesn't care about Tsubaki, which is...not even true?? Jin is the only person besides her family and teachers that Tsubaki knew her whole life and he's been quite decent to her. Yes, Jin is a huge jerk...but the person he's nicest to is Tsubaki. Back at the Academy, Jin, while still rather aloof, is pretty kind and attentive towards Tsubaki. He checks up on her and her friends regularly, gives her advice on what she can do, and they're able to hold a conversation with without her getting insulted. Also, in the present, there's a sword that's screwing with his head and basically has a shoulder devil AND angel telling him to kill Ragna, so there's that too.

In Chronophantasma, Jin does his best to put his fight against Ragna to the wayside since to him, Tsubaki comes first. He even works alongside Noel, someone who he deeply hates, to save Tsubaki. During their fight, he wholeheartedly believes that her will to fight through is stronger than the Imperator's curse. Now, it's debatable whether he feels the exact same way towards Tsubaki, but you can't deny his soft spot is usually only reserved for her. It's the regular "jerk/villain having that one special person they care about" trope.

One misconception is that she has nothing but blind love towards him, but I personally think if she did have blind love towards him, she would think he has done nothing wrong, which isn't the case as I'll explain in two instances.

One is regarding Jin's hatred towards Noel. Tsubaki doesn't really like how cold he is towards her. Back at the Academy, she did notice this, and she told him to be nicer towards Noel. According to Jin, Tsubaki has told him this several times. As Tsubaki says here, they've been close since they were children, but Noel has been a great friend too. All she wants is her two dearest friends to get along. It's a classic case of a person's close friends fighting with each other and that person being stuck in the middle. I've been in this situation a few times cough- Hell, I think she's one of the only characters who says to Jin to be nicer to Noel. Though since Tsubaki mainly appears in flashback scenes and isn't playable in Calamity Trigger, I can see how that gets lost.

To me, the biggest instance where this is showcased is her arcade mode in Central Fiction. In that, Tsubaki is given the opportunity to mold the world into what she wants (be by Jin's side) and Jin is targeting Noel for...reasons. So, like a yandere, she'll take Jin's side and target Noel too, right? No. Tsubaki actually protects Noel from Jin and fights him, even putting her life in the line for Noel.

That, to me, showcases how she doesn't see EVERYTHING Jin does is okay & just and won't side with him on everything, especially if he's trying to harm her other friends. It also shows she has put her jealousy and resentment for Noel aside, treasuring her as one of her best friends and it shows she has developed beyond that point since Continuum Shift.

Now, the last big reason she gets hate...her hatred towards Ragna. Now, I can see why that's annoying since for all her development, she never really gets past that point. BUT, I feel like this is mainly blamed with how we follow Ragna the most out of anyone, since well, he's the protagonist. Therefore, we have a much better idea on what happened from his point of view and we, as the players, know that Ragna is not a bad guy. We don't look at Tsubaki's point of view that much in comparison. So, I'll try to explain it from her perspective.

From how Tsubaki sees it, Ragna hasn't done much to get on her good side. She, at first, already doesn't like him because not only is he seen as a criminal to the world, but Noel and Jin, two of the people she cares the most about, also deflected from the NOL, an organization she has devoted her entire life to, due to his arrival. He hurts Jin, the guy she loves, to the point he has to stay in a bed to heal from his injuries, and Noel, her best friend (both also just broke her out of her brainwashing), at the end of Chronophantasma. Another essential thing to know is that Ragna is basically her antithesis. Tsubaki is calm, reserved, polite, and follows authority to a T, while Ragna is brash, foul-mouthed, hot-tempered and doesn't listen to authority. Is this petty and short-sighted? Yes, but it's not like she exactly hates him for no reason. Plus, her grudge against him is hilarious, especially when she thinks of the idea of him as her brother-in-law at one scene in Central Fiction. Sorry not sorry.

At the beginning of Central Fiction, Jin tells Tsubaki his backstory with Ragna and Saya and why he and Ragna have such a huge rivalry now. Tsubaki is actually shocked that Jin would almost kill Ragna, his own brother, like that. In fact, she finds it sad that brothers have to fight with each other like that. Maybe it could just be because Tsubaki places plenty of importance in family relations because of how her own family is like, but I felt this also was her realizing the conflict between Jin and Ragna isn't so black & white as she thought it was. Of course, not long after this, the timeline resets so it can't really be explored more. Blazblue timelines are such a mess, lol

I do think more could'e been done with Ragna & Tsubaki's relationship and it would've been nice to see her at least get a better understanding of him and see he's not as bad as she painted him to be, but it is what it is, sadly.

PHEW, this was long af. I unfortunately think the hate is not just rooted in misogyny, but also that she's a lore-heavy character, and Blazblue lore is infamously really difficult to follow. Not to mention, BB is a fighting game and plenty of people are just in it for the fighting. So if the lore is hard to understand, that would mean Tsubaki is not easy to get by extension. I think how long this essay was is proof enough there was plenty to unpack with Tsubaki, and I didn’t even talk about everything she’s involved with. She's not the easiest character to love at first glance, unfortunately.

BUT even with that, Tsubaki is another sad case of a female character getting demonized for far less than what a male character would do; just needlessly giving her higher standards. "We want morally grey female characters!" Bitch, a lot of ya'll couldn't even handle Tsubaki Yayoi. I have noticed the BB fandom, for the most part, is not welcoming towards female characters unless if they're sexually consumable enough for them, and Tsubaki, of course, is the most modest of all of them. With that being said, enen Noel and Celica of ALL characters get hate, for heaven's sake. There's really no winning with the girls in this series.

There's probably more I could've talked about, but this essay is long enough as it is. Hopefully, I made a good case study on Tsubaki's character and that there'll be a better understanding of her for now on, at the very least. Tsubaki Yayoi deserves more love than she gets, both from the game and fandom.

[technicalthinker]

I feel like debating who Loki was talking to when he said "For You" in the last episode, is missing the point of the scene. And people referring to it as "cowardly" and a "no-homo" moment is just?? Baffling to me tbh because like;

First of all, it is obviously intended to be to both of them? If they only wanted to make it about Sylvie, Mobius wouldn't be there. If they only wanted to make it about Mobius, Sylvie wouldn't be there. If they wanted to make it about everyone they would've just framed it more equally, he does do it for all his friends ("for all of us"), but they have that scene to highlight these two specific relationships. The framing is quite clear, they have him take a last look at all of his friends before going down the stairs, but Mobius and Sylvie runs after him to have a final significant moment.

Which absolutely makes sense and is consistent with the show we have seen so far, s1 and s2 combined, which is what I love about it. And it was to be honest a surprise! Going into this season, I had little hope for Loki/Mobius interactions, just didn't want to expect too much since S1 had a lot of their connection, but that could've been it. I was shocked when s2ep1 was full to the brim with Loki and Mobius scenes? And then they kept reinforcing every week that they care about each other, is a funny duo to watch, and are important to one another.

And despite this, I expected the rug to at some point be pulled, especially compared to Loki's relationship to Sylvie. No matter people's personal viewing on the show, she is still cited as a love interest by showrunners and is just portrayed as that by the narrative a lot of the time. Sidelining that, even in s2 when the romantic hints are more vague, she's still a very important person in Loki's life. She played a central part of the plot and Loki's own character development of understanding himself.

So to me, I was surprised seeing Mobius and Sylvie side by side in the end. Both being framed as The important people in Loki's life. Then, however you wanna see in what ways they are important is up to you, but they are the people he keeps coming back to for advice and self-reflection. You can frame it as "oh it should've been only been Mobius and they added Sylvie to downplay it", which, I just disagree with (If they wanted to go for explicitly canon Lokius they needed to set that up even more earlier in the season but that's a post for another day). Sylvie is still like, a constant in the narrative and driving force of s1, even if s2 changes things around a bit, and imo it would be inconsistent if she just vanished here. I guess I am used to media that downplays a meaningful dynamic between two dudes in more aggressive ways, which they absolutely could've done, and would've taken me out of the story to be honest... but they didn't, Mobius and Sylvie got to be side by side in the end and that imo validated the Loki/Mobius dynamic way more than downplays it.

TLDR; The "For you" was for both Mobius and Sylvie because why would you frame it that way otherwise, and having them side by side like that validates Lokius way more than downplays it in a "no-homo" way considering the full context of the show.

[romance-rambles]

[modern] cael | should've said it to my face

After reading Cael's response to your comment, you eventually give into your impulsive thoughts and call him. It turns out to be a misunderstanding

2k, takes place during qixi event [minor spoilers for the card], misunderstandings + fluff, reader is mc, series: none

DINNER TIME SEES YOU SCROLLING aimlessly through Lofter, in search of something to do.

You're sprawled across the couch on your back, knees bent, with a plate—stacked with airfryer dino nuggets and french fries—balanced precariously in front of you. The hand not occupied with your phone holds onto a half-empty soda can. When you remember to eat, you stick it in the gap between you and the sofa's backrest and pray it doesn't spill over again.

In the background, a movie you'd seen multiple trailers for in your spare time runs on the TV. For the first thirty minutes, it was rather entertaining, actually—for reasons beyond the absolutely stellar writing. It was, and is, filled with so many cliches, all dragged out and played entirely straight, that it makes you wonder if the writers had a checklist.

Then, your editor texted you around the time the couple had their first date and—well.

Though it turned out that the phone call she was asking for had nothing to do anything that would make a perpetually tardy artist quiver in fear, Beanie can attest to what a disaster the fifteen minutes before said phone call were.

Your shirt is still sticky from the spilt soda, and worse, the water you splashed on the stain has left you soaked. And on top of that, your shirt wasn't the only victim in this mess. Now, some of your nuggets carry with them a hint of sweetness—one that can't be attributed to the ketchup.

They're still good, you think stubbornly, glaring at someone imaginary sitting opposite to you.

You pull your legs closer, clearly disgruntled, and sit up straight. The artifacts of your makeshift party for one change positions with you, making you look less like a slob after work hours—even if that is what you were going for.

Because that someone imaginary looks suspiciously like Cael, with that close-mouthed smile that reeks of barely-disguised amusment. A menace with good publicity, though you'd take this Cael over the "old" one any day.

After all, this one is yours—to have, and to hold, for as long as you live.

You think of the characters in your latest manga, and of those last few pages; of the red dress the painter had picked out, and of where the spirit's—and yours—thoughts had gone. The ones you'd added as a bonus after dicussing a much happier ending with Cael. Frankly, it's the most self-indulgent thing you'd written since In Passing, except this time, you didn't bother holding back on your fantasies.

"Wait," you mutter, squinting down at an artwork from one of your mutuals on your phone. The poor dinosaur that gets offered up to your hungry belly this time is thankfully not one of the soggy ones. "Has he seen it yet?"

The answer to your question, once you regretfully pull your gaze away from the beautiful man you drew, and pull up your latest post on Lofter is yes.

hubby: This drawing is great.

A simple compliment, yet your spirits soar to never-before-seen heights. With your free hand, you cup your cheek; your pinkie finger can only partially hide the curved end of your lips. Then, like a thick veil, your hair falls over half of your face, prompting a small laugh from you.

As you tuck your hair behind your ear, you can't help but think it adds to the scene. The lovesick smile. His comment. The affection swelling in your fluttering heart.

You imagine the soft smile on his face when he saw your post and wonder why he isn't here to tuck your hair back for you.

Truth is, you'd never learned how to stop missing Cael, even after he'd returned to being a permanent fixture in your life. The only time you don't miss him is when he's in front of you—when you can wrap your arms around him, in a carefully struck balance of spoiled and loving, and hear his exasperated chuckle as he pulls you in closer.

Maybe that is why the words you write in response lack any double meanings.

you: @hubby But I feel that the person in the drawing is better than the drawing itself.

Tracing the silhouette of his hair, you think this is the Cael that comes closest to showcasing his ethereal beauty. All that practice through drawing the Silver Knight has left you as the most qualified person to make that judgement. It is with this thought in mind, and a puffed chest, that you wait for his response.

And Cael could be busy, for all you know. It could take a while for him to respond, for all you know.

Still, if you play your cards right, when you tell him how long you waited, he'll pat your head. And on your forehead, the heat from his loving kiss will linger for long after he pulls away.

You grin at the thought and scroll down.

hubby: Me too.

At first, you can only blink.

Me too, you repeat dumbly, tilting your head to the side. You must look like quite the catch, with three nuggets and countless fries stuffed into you face. ME TOO?

The vision of his faint smirk transforms your previously lovesick demeanor in an instant. Swallowing your food down, you glare at the snarky comment, thumbs hovering over the digital keyboard without a reply in mind.

It would've been better if he'd said it to your face. You could tackle him—maybe kiss the smirk off his face. Countless letters are typed out and erased within seconds of each other, simply because you can't settle on anything to say. The scowl on your face deepens as you swipe out of the app.

And you're not sure what happens after that, but when you come to, you find yourself staring at half of an objectively terrible selfie you'd taken with Cael—

And Ringing... written underneath.

When he picks up, the first thing Cael says is your name.

"What a coincidence." Your boyfriend chuckles softly. "I was thinking I wanted to hear your voice."

You fear the psychological damage is irreversible. Why did you call him again?

Oh, rig—wait a minute.

"Did you miss me?" you ask, not so much curious as you are delighted. "Wait."

Never let it be said that you don't have your priorities straight. You're sure anyone in your position would do the same thing. So, with a giggle—both at your snarky comment and at the prospect of being missed by Cael—you pull your phone away from your ear and make your earlier wish of seeing his face come true.

"Let me—" You adjust your bangs, knowing well the futility of doing so. "—Let me turn my camera on."

When you finally catch sight of his beautiful face, as the camera turns on, Cael is smiling gently.

Upon catching a glimpse of your current, haphazard appearance—the pile of hair tied up in some kind of half-bun, half-ponytail, the ratty old t-shirt that's simply too comfortable to part with, and, you realize embarassedly, the ketchup stains and nugget crumbs plastered all over your mouth—he shakes his head. Out of habit, his free hand hovers in the air for a moment before he puts it down. Even before he shoots you a helpless look, you can tell he's wishing for the same thing.

"You should—" Gesturing at his own mouth, free of crumbs, he tries to help you out. "Mhm, you got most of them."

For a party of one, you didn't find napkins to be a necessity—so, instead, you have to make do with your oily hands. It's hardly the most elegant side you've shown him, but you also know he's seen worse. And if he can still watch you fondly, frankly, you don't think you have a need to be concerned.

With a grimace, you brush the fallen crumbs off of your lap and onto the couch. You're going to have to vacuum it, unless you want it to be teeming with ants. The thought makes you shudder.

Cael's lovely voice cuts through the horrific visions of an ant takeover and replaces them with much more pleasant imagery. "What are you thinking about?"

"Ants," you say, without skipping a beat, then laugh. "Well, that and I have a bone to pick with you."

He blinks, looking as though he's desperately trying to surpass a laugh. "Alright. What is it?"

Upon studying his expression, you find that it's rather reminiscent of the one that'd pushed you over the edge. This time—perhaps because of the way the amusement glittering in his violet eyes makes them pop—you smile softly. Laying back down on the sofa, with your head comfortably resting against the armrest, you grin and start describing your dilemma.

"The truth is, I was fishing for another compliment," you tell him, as if offering him a carefully-guarded confession.

Your voice is suitably dramatic, with a sliver of faux mournfulness coming through. Unfortunately, you're not particularly good at faking tears—so it is all you have in your arsenal.

Cael looks down at you from the phone's screen, clearly exasperated. You bring your arms down to a more comfortable position and adjust some of your bangs. With the plate of nuggets still on your lap, you can't bend your knees as you'd like. As a compromise, you cross your legs over one another.

Finally, he breaks the silence.

"I'll make up for it, but—" Your boyfriend hesitates. "Nevermind."

Even though the hamsters in your brain have started sounding the alarms, even though you're certain he's messing with you, you still fall for it—hook, line, and sinker. It leaves you incapable of saying anything beyond but.

With an elegance you might've admired at any other time, he ignores your minor break in coherency. But the smile on his face is, for all intents and purposes, a grin, genuine but unfortunately tinged with amusement, and you can't find it in yourself to be too upset. You still remember his lighthouse comment.

You wonder if he'd notice if you took a screenshot. He did say he didn't like to use his deduction abilities on you.

Humming a song you'd texted him without explanation, he begins to ask, "How would you like me to make up for—"

"But."

"I was talking about the girl in the painting," he relents finally, softly smiling at you. You like to think your glare broke him down.

But the person in the drawing...

True, you'd never specified who you were talking about. Neither had he. It really is true what they say about assumptions, you think, aware that you can't quite think of an accusation that won't backfire on you.

So, like a gaping fish—maybe one swimming in warmer weather, if your warm cheeks are any indication—you gawk at him.

"Is that surprising?" he asks.

Deliberately, you turn your head away. To make yourself feel like a productive person, you pretend you're searching for your beloved cat, who must've slinked away at some point. Then again, you're pretty sure bribery goes a long way with Beanie—and no one's better at it than Cael.

Maybe Beanie would side against you instead.

"Maybe I haven't said it enough. That you're the most beautiful person I know."

As your mind slowly registers the words, you blink. Clearly, Cael hasn't spent enough time staring at a mirror. If he'd said woman, you might've debated for a bit before folding. You might've even seized the opportunity he's presented you with immediately.

Instead, you squint at him.

Surely, he hasn't forgotten how the students of St. Shelter Academia hold his beauty in high esteem. Or the many, perhaps unnecessary, compliments to his beauty in In Passing, even after you'd returned to Godheim. Sure, he might not have registered your unsubtle crush on him back then, but surely, now—

Surely.

Maybe I'm the one who hasn't said it enough.

"That's right." You nod your head solemnly—as if you're unbothered by the thoughts running through your head—and hold up your pinky finger with a smug grin. "You should say it more. Pinky swear."

Despite the distance, he still holds up his pinky finger for you.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: ADHD FOR SMART ASS WOMEN: HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN by Tracy Otsuka.

I saw this on a new release promotional email and thought "well shit, that looks like my life, I should Investigate That™," only to realize it was a brand new hardback and I didn't want to pay $29 for 200 pages of information. Since I found out about it on release day, my next thought was, "Oh, I can check and see if my library has any copies!! We love supporting our libraries in this house!!"

Reader: They did Not.

But! I did find the "request a book" option on their website, and I entered this book, and I got a robocall within a week saying my hold was ready to be picked up! Y'all!! The library literally ordered this book for me (it was stamped into circulation one (1) day before they called me!), and now I have it to read! I love libraries!!

(book pic featuring the super cute coaster set @asexualbookbird made me that I love with my entire heart!!)

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

I got the ‘obsessed with fictional characters autism’ AND the ‘science autism’

This is great in theory except that I. I do not have the ‘math autism’.

These things (math + science) usually go hand in hand for a reason 😭

[optiwashere]

Needed to lay down and try to sleep for longer than an hour today, and in doing so I blearily looked at general fandom tags because I wanted to see silly fanart.

Instead I got hit full-force with reality of so much drama over the wildest little shit. I've been cursed with sight.

I have also never been happier to stay in my own bubble away from... all of that.

All that to say, I'm keeping this blog free of more stuff like this but holy fuck it hit me like a freight train. All this drama exhausts me and I don't know how anyone keeps up with it. I prefer to think of this place as the equivalent of a cabin in the woods, one where I emerge every few days with a few thousand words for people to devour with their eyes.

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[jattendschaton]

so there is an actress I follow on Instagram who posted a story of some artwork she had on her walls and she had a Ladynoir print! And I recognized the Ladynoir print! I already followed the artists and they're relatively small—only a thousand followers or so—and I thought it was so cool that this actress with 6m+ followers had their artwork on her walls! So I send the story to their DMs explaining that it's their artwork in the photo and how cool that is before realizing that, while the artwork looks very similar, it is not...the exact same...

Of course, I immediately try to unsend the message, but Instagram won't let me! There is no unsend option! Apparently you can only unsend a message after the person has accepted the message (WHY??) and just deleting the whole conversation on your end does nothing to delete it on theirs.

I feel like I am fully going insane at this point, I'm so embarrassed and anxious I feel sick, so I make my roommate do a series of experiments with me on her own IG account so I can figure out a workaround to get these messages deleted. Long story short, I have now blocked an artist I really like and can never unblock them lest my embarrassing messages become known :')

[hecksupremechips]

My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it

[narugen-moved]

got another hoshimina fic idea… it takes them four people and nine years before they get their shit together.

[francesderwent]

Lockwood & Co gives us a male lead who is only ever called by his surname, who never lets anyone get too close, who doesn’t reveal his true self. over the course of five books, he starts letting one person in—he actively chooses to let one person see him and know him for who he really is, he brings her along for the things that he would normally have done alone, he lets her carry some of his suffering.

never, once, does she call him by his first name.

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol