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@a-literal-toaster-wtf
just when you thought you were safe……BOOM, red dwarf ponies
#there are no original ideas in this fandom 😇😇#i say that in the most loving way i love it is amazing#my old tags still apply:#rimmers cutie mark being a h......#that's making me have emotions#like#did he not have a cutie mark before he became a hologram????#or did he always have it and KNOW what was going to happen to him????#did the h replace his old cutie mark????#either way its depressing af
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you ever just
have a mighty yearning
for that unsettling old man
to fucking crack your back like a glowstick?
#tag your favorite old guy today!#bet yall will never guess who this is about#and I am so sorry for anyone that is new here#but my tags are where I express myself most#and I gotta tell ya#I’d happily die by Secondo’s hand#and by hand I do mean hand#and by hand I also mean wiener#take the blue pill & let’s work out some frustrations my guy#shitghosting#this obvs could still apply to any of the fellas tho#gonst#ghost band fandom#secondo x reader#secondo smut#papa emeritus ii x reader#papa ememritus ii#papa emeritus secondo#papa secondo#papa Seccs#bone daddy#daddy secondo
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It's so weird looking at my art from like, literally 2 months ago and realizing with seething annoyance that the answer to "how do I get better at drawing" truly is just to...draw. Often. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.
#if only i could apply this to other areas of my life#like my sleep schedule#thats saracsm btw#me meet here this time next year to see where drawing two old men daily takes me. artistically speaking.#also some progress isn't visible. but theres things like getting expressions right is taking me less time and less tries.#or I being able to make the art look like the blorbos without references#which is pretty cool honestly. i literally never thought I'd be able to do that.#also i find drawing charicatures of people infinitely harder than semi-realism and im really pleased with my comics lately#also i still literally have no idea how to use procreate and one of these days i will watch one single how to video#for some reason my tags sound like caveman speak today
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Thinking about the structure of the Old Religion.
From what we know there's the Nine which refers to the High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess - powerful sorcerers who obtained immortality (unless killed by some form of magic), and performed important rituals of the Old Religion.
It is unknown if there was a High Priest equivalent, but Gaius in S1Ep13 does tell Merlin that "the High Priests have the power to mirror life and death". This suggests that perhaps there were High Priests of the Triple Goddess, and that they also had a Nine.
There's the Bendrui, women who failed to become part of the Nine. Just like those who eventually became High Priestesses of the Triple Goddess, they were chosen at birth for the priesthood - taken from their families and raised as initiates of the Old Religion. Despite their failure, Bendrui are practiced in potent magic, and appear to have above average gifts.
There's the Bloodguard, warrior priests who swore to protect the High Priestesses. They, like the High Priestesses, were the only people to ever set eyes upon the staff carved from the Rowan tree that grows at the very heart of the Isle of the Blessed.
It could be suggested that like the Bendrui, the Bloodguard could have been failed High Priests, but there is no evidence (other than the existence of the Bendrui, and the mention of High Priests) to truly suggest this.
It is also unknown if the Bloodguard served the Triple Goddess. It is possible that the priests served various different gods of the Old Religion, but due to their relation to the Nine specifically, it is likely these warrior priests served the Triple Goddess.
There's the Catha, which contains priests. (Alator is referred to being "of the Catha, warrior and priest", he also says "I'm a Catha priest").
It is unknown if they served the Triple Goddess, or a different god of the Old Religion (and we know they are priests of the Old Religion because Morgana says, "He's a Catha...priest of the Old Religion.").
They have their own language, however, suggesting that they are a unique culture, and perhaps even an ethnic group. (This is further supported by Alator saying Catha are trained from birth to master all physical pain, it is also said that they guard their ancient knowledge - which leans towards them being a people rather than just initiates of the Old Religion)
There's the Disir, the highest court of the Old Religion, made up of three women chosen at birth to be trained as seers and soothsayers. They are the mouthpiece of the Triple Goddess, and interpret her word. As Gaius says, "When they sat in judgement, their word was final". They pass on the runemark, which is both judgement and fate - it contains a person's guilt, as well as the path the gods have chosen for them.
There's the Druids, a peaceful people who worship the Old Religion and often possess magic. It's a part of their beliefs to help people in need of care, and therefore, those who weren't born a Druid can find a home amongst them (Morgana is one such example).
Moreover, the Druids look for children with the gift of telepathy to serve as apprentices (perhaps to keep them safe? perhaps to encourage their magic in childhood?). The Druids also have a tattoo of a triskelion somewhere on their body, perhaps as a part of a ritual (to indicate someone has become a Druid?).
While the Druids have an intimate knowledge of prophecy and destiny, especially regarding Emrys and the Once and Future King, they do not appear to be priests or priestesses in any form. Just like the Catha, they have their own language (called the Druid tongue and Druidic Runes by Gaius), therefore, it is possible that they too are a unique culture and/or an ethnic group.
There's the Isle of the Blessed, a sacred location of the Old Religion, said to be the centre of it, and the focus of its power - it is also where the power of the ancients can still be felt after the Great Purge. Artifacts such as the Rowan staff, the Cup of Life, and the Horn of Cathbhadh were kept there under the care of the High Priestesses. Furthermore, Morgana's healing bracelet was forged on Isle - suggesting that its power allowed for the creation of powerful artifacts (this is further supported by the Rowan staff which was carved from the tree that grows there).
In a deleted scene for S4Ep1, Morgause says when she was first brought to the Isle, the hallways were teeming with women - High Priestesses. Although it is said often within the fandom, canon never establishes if the initiates were trained on the Isle. This deleted scene, however, heavily suggests it.
There's the Caerlanrigh, a sacred spring within the Grove of Brineved. There, the Disir reside within a cave, where the spring feeds into an ancient pool - in which the Disir divine from. The old ways are at their strongest there, and it's at the very centre of their powers (whether Gaius meant the old ways or the Disir here is unclear).
There's the Cauldron of Arianrhod, a sacred site of the Old Religion. The lake contains the power of the White Goddess, who can be summoned to heal those affected by the Teine Diaga ritual. However, if such a person is tricked into entering the cauldron, their soul would be lost forever.
There's the Crystal Cave, said to be the birthplace of magic. It is filled to the brim with scrying crystals that show the past, present, and future. Taliesin used the cave as the source of his prophecies for the kings of old. And as much as the crystals can be controlled, they can force visions upon powerful sorcerers too.
The cave can also hold spirits within it, seen with both Balinor and Taliesin.
While this may have been the case for Merlin alone, the cave can restore a person's magic.
There are celebrations important to the Old Religion too, such as:
Samhain, a time of year where the people feel closest to the spirits of their ancestors, in which they celebrate their passing.
During Samhain it was traditional for the High Priestesses to gather on the Isle of the Blessed and perform a blood sacrifice to release the Dorocha. This was done on the stroke of midnight, when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest.
Since the Dorocha do not roam free in the world throughout the series, it is suggested that a second blood sacrifice was done by the High Priestesses - perhaps before the night was through - to close the veil once more.
In Camelot, a feast is held as part of the celebrations. (This suggests that while the Old Religion and its practices were abandoned during and after the Purge, the heart of the religion and its holidays were never replaced).
Beltane, a time of year where the High Priestesses would gather at the Great Stones of Nemeton and summon the spirits of their ancestors with the Horn of Cathbhadh. It opens the door to the Spirit World and allows the person who blew the horn to see and speak with their ancestor of choice.
In Camelot a feast is held as part of the celebrations (which much like Samhain seems indicate that the Old Religion has been around for so long that it cannot be removed from society entirely - that the people clung onto some traditions, including the royal family).
There's the Gods of the Old Religion, the Triple Goddess, the White Goddess, and Nemaine. It could be implied that the White Goddess, and the Earth Mother Nemaine are part of the Triple Goddess, but it is just as likely for them to be separate gods.
If so, the Triple Goddess is heavily associated with the Nine, destiny and fate, and the immortality of certain sorcerers. Perhaps she is also associated with the balance of the world, due to the power over life and death being tied to the High Priestesses and supposed High Priests.
The White Goddess, however, appears to be associated with one's soul and healing. It was only her power that could heal and retain Gwen's soul after Teine Diaga ritual.
The Earth Mother Nemaine is related to Gean Canach, as it is said her tears forged the creature. The book Gaius reads from has more information, and from what can be deciphered, it says that Nemaine first wept at the slaughter of war, resulting in the Gean Canach crawling out of the Earth's belly (there is more written on the page, but it is impossible to tell what it says). This suggests that Nemaine lives within the Earth's core, and that she is indeed associated with nature and living beings as her name implies.
Furthermore, since she wept at the slaughter of war, she is perhaps the god of life itself, but not of the entire cycle. And due to the Gean Canach's abilities, to devour and drain a sorcerer of their magic, it is likely that this war's slaughter was brought about by magic.
It is possible that The Earth Mother Nemaine could be related to the Pool of Nemhain. Despite having different spellings in the show (the subtitles), they have extremely similar pronunciations (even if it is a bit different). Perhaps they are unrelated, but if they are one and the same, it could be suggested that the Earth Mother is connected to death as well as life, due to the pool being the last of the Five Gateways to the Spirit World. (This contradicts what is analysed in the above paragraph, but this post is meant to speculate multiple possibilities.)
Honourable mentions:
It could be suggested that the Quest Ritual was once part of the Old Religion. It includes the heir to the throne of Camelot transcending their body in order to receive a vision of a quest. This quest is meant to prove their worth to the people, and their worthiness of the throne. The heir prepares themself by cleansing their body and dressing in white robes. They spend an entire night kneeling on the floor, barefoot, with their eyes closed.
Due to how Arthur reacts in the morning when Uther pulls him out of it, and how sacred the entire process appears to be, it is as if the heir is actually gifted with a vision of a quest. This is supported by his reaction, as he looks dazed when relays what he has seen. Therefore, it seems as if the ritual includes some form of magic due to the preparation, and if so, then it's likely it was a practice of the Old Religion (specifically for the heirs of Camelot? Due to Camelot's association with the very heart of magic?)
It has been around for hundreds of years, so it is not outside the realm of possibility that the Quest Ritual is so old that the general consensus has forgotten its ties to the Old Religion, or much like Samhain and Beltane, it is perhaps so baked into society that it couldn't be abandoned.
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In S1Ep13, Merlin says that the "Old Religion died out centuries ago". Even in Series 1 this is far from true, but later seasons make this remark seem entirely ignorant. If anything, this sentiment comes from a post-Purge society, where the structures of the Old Religion no longer exist. Perhaps it is even propaganda that Uther pushed forward as people became more fearful over the years, turning away from the old ways despite once practicing such beliefs (and for the people of Camelot, still practicing some of those beliefs).
It is possible this was a retcon but if so then it's directly retconned in S1Ep13 when it's revealed that Nimueh is a High Priestess.
Anyhow, in response to Merlin's ignorance, Kilgharrah says, "The Old Religion is the magic of the Earth itself. It is the essence which binds all things together. It will last long beyond the time of men".
This shows that the Old Religion doesn't just refer to the religion and the gods, but rather it is the very magic that makes up the fabric of the world, and as Balinor says in S2Ep13 it's either a part of you or it isn't. This suggests that it is indeed not just a religion, but the very world, the Earth, magic.
He also goes on to say that Merlin must "find those who still serve it", which shows that Uther very much didn't succeed in eradicating the structure of the Old Religion entirely, at least at that point in the show. And perhaps that anyone could serve it, even after the very structure collapsed.
All this is to say that the Old Religion is extremely pagan. The structure itself is vague perhaps because Old Religion is personal, it is vague. The differences between the High Priestesses, the Catha, and the Druids make this clear. Following the Old Religion's beliefs, traditions, and holidays is personal and spiritual because it varies, because there is no wrong way. Because there are no set rules or a real structure at all. The High Priestesses had power, yes, but this seems to come directly from the Triple Goddess herself, rather than a societal standing.
Nimueh was at court, and she was Uther's friend, but she was also very quickly thrown from the court after Ygraine died. And yes, the High Priestesses went to war with the Ancient Kings, but that appears to be a difference in factions, rather than let's say the Christian church and its power over the centuries.
Therefore, I propose that the Old Religion as a religion was loose in its structure, that it never died out like Merlin said (which does seem to be a post-Purge sentiment), but instead simply changed and evolved, and continued to exist even after the Purge, with its holidays in Camelot, and with the Druids and their practices/beliefs.
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Overall, the information we have on the structure of the Old Religion is vague and patchy. This was perhaps intentional so the writers could work around existing canon to introduce new concepts without being constricted by their past worldbuilding. But that's getting into the Intentional Fallacy, so I'll leave that there.
It appears that the High Priestesses had the most power in society, due to their past wars with the Ancient Kings, and their sheer power and knowledge. Not to mention their artifacts and control over creatures like the Fomorroh.
But there are different beliefs and structures to the Old Religion, like with the Catha and the Druids, suggesting that there are multiple ways to worship and follow the Old Religion.
The many sacred sites show that there are different powers and sources to the Old Religion that have different purposes. Like how the path to the Cauldron of Arianrhod was lined with banners for pilgrims, not to necessarily summon the White Goddess, but to visit the site. Or how the Isle of the Blessed is a powerful religious site, while the Crystal Cave is a fairly legendary and unknown place that few ever get to see.
In conclusion, the Old Religion is vast and has many facets to it. There is some structure, but it doesn't seem entirely necessary in order to follow the Old Religion. And in reality, it is inherent to the Earth, it is magic itself.
#bbc merlin#merlin#i think that about covers everything and has about all i wanna analyse and speculate on :)#this is really a summary that will be helpful to me and probably only to me i expect this will get no notes :P#i love the old religion i really think it's cool and i like how there's gaps we can fill in with fanfic but it's always important to look#back at canon and understand what's actually there what the story says about it#and yeah I wrote this entire post because i was pondering something for my fic - mainly how much Camelot is tied#to the Old Religion which it really seems to be? like everything centres around it the heart the birthplace and such#and maybe there's that kinda thing in other kingdoms but I don't know if that's true given the Isle of the Blessed and hell even Avalon#i didnt include Avalon and Sidhe here because that doesn't quite apply to the human interpretation of the Old Religion#there's only one distinct thing i could say about it and that's the fact that Avalon is only seen by mortals when they're#about to die which links it to death and perhaps the Spirit World but it still appears to separate and more to do with the#Sidhe which seem to exist outside the conventions of the Old Religion we often see in the show - given that their#spell language is different (Old Irish as opposed to Old English much like how the Dragonlord tongue is Greek)#and like Avalon is not related to the structure of humans - and if I included it I'd have to include the dragons and such and that is#out of the scope of this post and it's already long enough so hey ho here have these tags :P#this is a 2.9k post including tags haha XD hope you have the setting on for long posts because im not putting this under a cut
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While the World's Slowest Slowburn makes the most logical sense, between Kiran and Alfonse. In my heart. Moe manages to find a way to get in an overly handsy way too intimate WAY too soon I just got my ass ghosted or perhaps dumped situationship with Alfonse. In a demisexuality and trust issues honoring way. ALL under Moe's assumption, that "Well he's Not gonna get attached to me so It's Fine."
#moe tag#moe lore#BUT. A BIG DISCLAIMER PERHAPS. is i can NEVER make up my mind on any 'official' sequence of events.#still i cannot resist. thinking what would be the funniest most unique form of torture to apply here#like moe sucking alfonse off before they even kiss. alfonse along the way getting to know moe#is making some fairly reasonable assumptions all things considered. given the information he has#and in a nonjudgmental way ofc ofc#only. as he slowly but surely unlocks more information from moe. the reality dawns on him.#the one relationship moe has ever been in was long distance. he doesn't quite grasp all of moe's explanation.#but they seemed to be something akin to pen pals. they never had a chance to meet.#moe's character is funky bc it IS very blunt and upfront and honest to a fault. HOWEVER.#DESPITE. ALSO being So Bad at hiding things. despite all of that. it still manages do this sort of thing.#like. so much. not telling him that it was moe who ghosted its old friend. him not even finding out#moe has a brother. it just straight up did not mention that until alfonse trying to comfort moe is like#'you must miss your sisters terribly... 😔' and moe is like. in the most autistic way possible. well yes.#but this isn't about them actually.#this is WELL into being friends w moe at this point. again no solid timelines but moe keeps Pulling This Shit#and then there's. gesturing broadly to all of mani#like i am ALWAYS caught between what would be the most piningful payoff or what would be just the Worst way to do it.#and EXTREMELY often. the funniest option wins. also alfonse is going to kill moe w hammers.#maybe the secret here though is. there's still a slowburn occurring here.
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One of my favorite hobbies to engage in is ignoring the canon course of video game romances
#yes my warden in an open relationship will have a foursome at the pearl#and yes I will continue to have Morrigan sleep with Orest after the “I love you and I hate it” conversation#I am digging into her brain so deep rn#morri seeing sex as the main manipulation tool she has and being so scared to have orest be just In Love With Her#she says no to his invitation of sex once and he just goes oh okay I'm sorry#I still love you that's okay#and it scares the bejesus out of her#time to keep fucking him so I can pretend that he just wants me for my body#time to let him fuck other people so it'll be easier for him to leave me in the end#I can't have him so dependent on me for his happiness or else it will destroy him (the man I love) in the end#I have to let him leave my side slowly or else he'll die if I separate myself from him I saw what happened with his ex-lover (tamlen)#let him be happy with zevran or leliana or anyone#fool woman he will never let you leave and never stop loving you#I love morrigan and her fucked up relationship with intimacy so much#orest is also especially easy to think you're manipulating because he acts so stupid (and it's only partially an act)#he loves so openly and so intensely and yet he's also clearly very easily drawn in with the appeal of a Nice Ass#I could talk about them forever#I'm editing an old fic to better fit with their dynamic and the canon of the romance#and the orest x morri content I've written since I first wrote this fic#and this doesn't just apply to orest and morrigan#I ignore that tamlen and gorim are female warden LIs only#I ignore that Blackwall is “straight” (blackwall may be but thom isn't that's for sure)#I do whatever the fuck I want with da2#anyway time to stop rambling in the tags and actually get back to writing#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age ii#dragon age inquisition#original content#and mainly
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Digimon Adventure Last Evolution: Kizuna ~ ~ Meiko Mochizuki’s (Canon) Appearance (as Younger Meiko, same design used in Tri) + Meiko & Meicoomon
“Mochizuki...” - Yamato Ishida (Taichi also watching), Voice wavering, in growing shock
Bonus:
{Young Meiko, in Tottori} {Kyousei; Film #5 Flashback} (wearing the exact same outfit) {With the same Japanese-style home} Gifs by @izzyizumi / @koushirouizumi {Do Not Repost or Reproduce without my Permission} {Do Not Remove Caption} (Please Ask to Use)
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#meiko mochizuki#mochizuki meiko#meiko and meicoomon#kizuna meiko#yamato and meiko#kizuna edit#digimon adventure last evolution: kizuna#izzyizumi gifs#izzyizumi kizuna gifs#izzyizumi kizuna edits#digimon locations: never land#kizuna spoilers#digimon spoilers#(I am mainly posting this now to get it out of old Drafts from when Kizuna was newer)#(Considering 'The Beginning' is dropping TOMORROW)#(I think now I can finally post this without as much issue)#(But)#(My blogrules still apply)#(I didnt even tag main tag to keep this out as its a pretty big Kizuna spoiler)#(But I am tagging Meiko relevant tags and tbh this also counts for)#taichi and meiko#(Taichi is watching and also seeing this from their Point of View)#(I am very hesitantly posting these but Yes I Have BlogRules and They Should Be Followed THANKYou)
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a date in the kingdom 🌹
(sept. 12, 2021)
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#crk#dark choco cookie#vampire cookie#cookie run ovenbreak#crob#cookie run fanart#crk fanart#cr fanart#crob fanart#does the 5 tags rule still apply? maybe im just old again#darkvamp#my stuff
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God is dead, worship me instead.
-Yagami Light probably
#death note#light yagami#could also apply to#astarion#even though they are very not the same#like#light would MEAN it#but Astarion would be teasing#honestly Light is just a big old jerk#all my homies hate light yagami#shame he’s so hot though#I feel like he’s only okay when L is there to even him out#also this but as a mikalight fic#I feel like they are so much worse for each other than lawlight#like L would abandon all his morals for light sure but Mikami would abandon everything#idk#food for thought i guess#also if you are still with me in these tags bless you#this is where I come to be free
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I think what a lot of Damian and Tim fans forget is that Damian and Tim's fights in their early days were just... not as big deals as fanon made them out to be. They are so frequently blown completely out of proportion, when in reality, these are the types of fights that siblings recover from in a matter of hours, or, at most, a matter of days. And sure, they didn't see each other as siblings back then, but they didn't see each other as enemies, either. They were two people who sometimes butted heads because of their respective troubles at the time. It really isn't a bigger deal than that.
#for the record this is less sympathetic to tim than it is to damian#damian was ten. i think he gets a pass.#is that fair? no. get over it#tim was seventeen years old#still a kid too of course#but not the type of kid that a ten year old is#if he's not more emotionally mature than damian at that age then we have bigger issues here#now listen i love tim to pieces he is my favorite character.#but i think this way because it ACTIVELY DOES TIM A DISSERVICE. to believe that he is so immature that he PUNCHES A TEN YEAR OLD.#red robin had good moments and it also had GOD AWFUL moments too#let's apply some critique to it where it deserves it#tim drake#damian wayne#op's tags
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italian-american new yorker (castelian?) geawa...
#wolfie rambles#geara tag#thinking abt it bc im playing mario sunshine and watching mario sunshine videos and thinking abt geara moonshine#i'm all sunshine'd up!#anyways i can't explain my reasoning atm.#i just think the idea of a young-looking guy with the soul of a grisled old brooklyn man#(and the accent of one too - not AS obvious as i always make it but still)#is really funny. imagine shadow the hedgehog coming out of that emo's mouth and all you get is like#an angry new yorker. doing an impression of an emo. or an emo doing an impression of a nyer? weirdo#<- bear in mind i think of this not when applied to CANON geara but rather my geara specifically.. my way of drawing him
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if johnny only sees what v sees, does that mean he cant see them? it does right? or does he see them the way they *think* they look like? does johnny see who v sees in the mirror? in photos?
#sammy says shit#listen i still dont fully describe to 'i only see what you see'#HOWEVER#if any of the above does apply imagine the first fucking time he sees them for real#aka happy au#does johnny ever comment on vs apperance? aside from the not my type comment#im thinking about things and this just crossed my mind#is johnnys pov just him in a world that doesnt see him? doesnt react to him?#ofc sometimes people stop to look in his direction but they arent looking at /him/#in the beginning does he reply to questions directed at v bc he thinks that person is talking to him??#MY GOD someone send help him going insane over this#been thinking about johnny having no autonomy#nobody to talk to besides v#and how v knows this and tries to give him said autonomy as best as they can#see: the sharing meals post my queue spat out earlier#anyway im raving in the tags again... old habits do die hard huh#also i do think there is a difference between what own body johnny sees compared to what engram johnny sees#(talking about what v looks like)#but if my above thoughts are true... GODDAMN the potential
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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"Get away from her!"
This is just a render of Clio fighting a powerful opponent during a mission of some kind, and then Aria very quickly and hurriedly coming in to protect her out of nowhere. I may have gone slightly overboard with the AutoLuminous on the second image, but it works well, right? ^~^
Tag list: @dragonsmooch | @sol-rbs | @bugsband | @sunlight-ships | @stargazer-sims | @darkseeker | @detective-with-one-arm | @deepsea-loves | @mxrealman | @artificervaldi | @thatslikesometaldude (To be tagged in my work in the future, please see this post!)
(Anyone is welcome to comment on and reblog my work if desired, as long as my DNI is respected! An alternate image is under the readmore.)
This is just an extra bonus image to show how Clio looks in the second render, since.. you kind of can't really see her over Aria swooping in, haha
#a call from the void#creations from the void#made using MMD#kingdom hearts selfshipping#OC selfshipping#this post is okay for anyone to reblog as long as my DNI is respected!#heart of the void#selfshipping#love: crown of clovers (clio)#selfship: of flowers unchained (clio/aria)#self‑insert: darkness' champion (aria)#I was toying with the idea of using aria's alternate outfit for arilio stuff and then her old outfit for aquaria stuff?#so that's why she's got her other one here (the one made from male avatar parts)#of hearts and friendship (kingdom hearts)#of lux and daybreak (union x)#the tag list was copied over from last piece so hopefully it all still applies#anyway it is quarter to two in the morning and my intention was to go to sleep around midnight soooo#I should probably go now =P#this is only one of like three different MMD projects i've either started or had an idea for today haha
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least favourite of your very own minecraft headcanons
hmm ............. not sure if i actually dislike any of my fanon worldbuilding buuuuut
it's implied in canon lore but in my mc world the End just. inevitably decays to the point of (almost) complete abandonment. it doesnt cease to exist but eventually the islands erode over time and its nearly unlivable
as a result, endermen and enderlings begin migrating to the overworld (or nether) as their homeworld slowly dies off
it makes me sad but thats just how the end is!! its always been on its dying legs ever since the universe's creation and eventually everything will return to the void .. but that takes place over an IMPOSSIBLY long timespan to the point most mobs would be long gone by then (nor is it the focus of my oc stories)
GODD not to quote the end novel on main but like
"The Great Chaos came for everyone sooner or later. It would come for the whole universe someday."
also chaos' entire monologue is just so fucking good i think about it so often. just the concept of the void, pure nothingness, outliving everything and everyone is immensely fucked up to me
#but yeah my 'least favorite' one is the one that makes me the most sad#but with the type of... Thing the end is it only makes sense#'nothing built lasts forever' is like. one of my all-time favorite quotes. its from the very start of mc story mode#it still applies to modern-day minecraft imo#i like to think the end represents an old world that keeps trying to revive itself and it forces itself onto OTHER worlds#that have since long forgotten it due to the suffering and misery it caused#but it persists. and eventually the inhabitants finally leave it all behind for the sake of a better future#minecraft#end tag
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little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just�� not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
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