#my old friend. we meet again
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how do you still like dream even after he admitted to texting young girls /genq
this is a pretty misleadingly phrased question— you’re stretching the facts to assume a conclusion and then asking me to defend my position from there. which maybe isn’t your fault, it’s a very commonly parroted misinformed talking point, but either way let’s break it down:
if you’re referring to anastasia (the thread that happened the day before shit really went down, and the only one to include actual text messages) dream has explicitly said those cannot have been him. whether or not you believe him, he didn’t admit to anything. if you’re referring to amanda, he never actually texted her so that already carries a much different connotation (giving a fan a private number vs messaging on a social media) but in the interest of not being pedantic i’ll just assume you mean the snap dms. as i’ve said before, i do think that was inappropriate and bad judgement on his part, and i hope it doesn’t happen again! but a brief period of messages based on mutual interest with no signs of manipulative behavior that (to me at least, ymmv) seem like they stem from a naive desire to connect with fans rather than anything malicious isn’t where i’m gonna draw my moral line. certainly not in THIS industry
i also find “young girls” a bit disingenuous because 1. there was only one— anastasia never claimed to be groomed or a victim of anything, and 2. they were 18 and 17.92 🤷♀️ i hope this answers your question?
#bella answers#anon#dream.situation#my old friend. we meet again#and i’m using ‘industry’ loosely i’m just referring to like.. entertainers as a whole#oh also i hope i don’t sound aggressive or anything i’m assuming you’re being sincere— i don’t mind clarifying what i think/why it think it#when it’s asked in good faith
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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came face to face with an ardennes horse on the other side of a fence on my walk today. nearly cried because i miss these big lovely creatures with my whole heart. i'm fine (most definitely not)
#pros of our new apartment: we live close to horses & several other animals (had a long chat with a flock of sheep and a very old goat)#cons: i am constantly reminded of my past as a horsegirl and the pain of not knowing when or how or if i will ever be able to return to it#ouch!#anyway. made eye contact with a big black horse with grey hairs in his forehead and his long mane was brown in the sunlight#i stood there for ten minutes and Looked at him and his equally big bay friend as they scratched each other and ate nonstop#if you even care#being poor + without a car + the only riding school you can imagine going back to being filled with people you'd rather not meet again ..#not good!#i keep having this thought that once i've moved somewhere else and am able to stand on my own legs .. then i can go back to the horses#it still hurts me that my equine therapist turned out to be like .. borderline abusive. at the very least a terrible person to have that jo#that could have been everything and more but nope :')#very ironic that the place i went to in order to deal with trauma created another trauma
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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ok sitting down for a moment at disneyland. elaborating on the post-beat concert shenanigans in the tags
#for those of you invested in my silly misadventures#ok so .#there was the meet n greet earlier which as i said was short but very nice and i was squimshed against ade for the photo#AFTER THE SHOW . go around the concert venue to the area by the stage door#but unlike the beacon theatre we were a long ways away from the stage door it was the huge parking lot and we were fenced off#and based off of the spars concert from last year at the beacon where the guys just left after we waited for almost an hour#i didnt really expect the beat guys would come over or anything but i was willing to wait a while#and wait a while we did and then danny carey came out and eventually came over to us and was really sweet and signed stuff#he wasnt taking any photos but was very nice just like the epitome of fun drummer guy#waited a while more. doubting still that the other guys would come over#next was adrian! and being the absolute sweetie he is he did come over and everything abt him is true#hes just the most wondrous sweet guy ever. he was also radiating comforting dad energy bc that annoying prog fan was there again#and ade was kind of like nicely protective where i was w my friend#ade also liked my inner revolution shirt and remembered me from the meet n greet :)#waited a while more and then eventually steve vai came out and well im sorry what can i say . i was 😵💫#it didnt help that when he signed my poster (as the other guys had before him) that like. his hand was resting on my hand god anyway#im sorry. old men musicians are my number one weakness as anyone whos been following me knows#oh i had gotten a blurry photo w ade and then got a flash photo w steve. its horrifying <3#we waited like an hour more for tony who was on a long ass phone call#but very nicely he came over too and somehow the photo w him turned out nicest. hes such a sweet polite guy#he also sounds like ron mael kinda lol#and thats my adventure!#and now ive spent an obscene amount to see em again. god
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I didn’t include currently airing shows on this list which means I might do this again with more couples. Good luck.
#rae makes polls#and this is probably my last cruel poll for awhile#I mean eventually I’ll either run out of evil possibilities#or I’ll run out of evil energy#there’s only so much chaos and cruelty my brain can come up with#right??? right???????#y’all have to suffer my polls but I have to suffer making them#I have to be the inflicter of pain upon others and myself#I have to live with my brain#I’m fine just fine#bed friend#a tale of a thousand stars#la pluie#bad buddy#our dining table#my school president#old fashion cupcake#until we meet again#triage the series#never let me go#sorry not sorry#this is my cruelest poll yet
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Also what if I said the show taking time to show that Luz and Hunter aren't unhealthily dependent on one another post time skip the way they were in thanks to them (but still close seen in Luz's patches on her clothes or Hunter taking time off work to go to Luz's bday) actually plays in to the cycle of sibling betrayal motif w/ the Clawthornes and Wittebanes????
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#hunter toh#bc like. both of the previous generations of siblings had incredibly small/non-existant support networks outside of each other#the wittebanes were orphans and bc Caleb was philips caretaker as well as his brother#(and also just kinda. a pattern with philip)#he loves caleb on the condition that he agrees with and stays with philip. and when Caleb stops meeting these conditions love is revoked#in the form of. yknow. murder and cloning and then murdering the clones#bc again it's less about the ambiguous abandonment and more about the 'living a life i don't agree with and therefore can't be part of-#-due to my own selfishness and bigotry' thing philips got going on#a mindset that would be understandable for a powerless child but is ridiculous coming from a 400 year old god king#Lilith is ALSO in a state of preoccupation and arrested development when we meet her!#the thing that drove a wedge between the Clawthorne sisters was the fact that they were no longer each others codependent supports#Eda had Raine and is clearly closer/at least gets more undivided attention from their parents#not that eda's life is all rainbows and sunshine- she's still an outcast. but she has people other than Lilith#everything we see from the gallery nucleus art to edas old photos portrays the hagsquad as eda's friendgroup. not Lilith's#and years later in s1 even when Lilith is at the top of the boiling isles social latter she's still hung up on Eda#both bc of her guilt but bc she seemingly has no friends who are also her equals#she wants her codependent support system back no matter the damage it'll cause to Eda#bc much like philip she's sort of in a state of arrested development#it's a theme with toh antagonists#the difference being Lilith tried to grow up too fast and was never able to move beyond her teenage conceptualisation of maturity#so she's good at pretending to be mature when really she's not#all this to say that Luz and Hunter don't have this problem outside of thanks to them when they're at their self-hate peak#luz has her mom her owl fam Amity Willow Gus. Hunter now has Camila Gus and Willow and eventually Darius#they don't NEED to be the only one the other can count on and bc of that they're not gonna lose their shit when the other does something-#-they feel they can't/don't want to be a part of#anyway I'm out of tags but. this was a good move writing wise actually even if i love their dynamic. we got a whole special abt them
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Sorry guys was genuinely gonna get those headcanons out but have been plagued by the Panic Attacks, and the Severe AnxietyTM.
Please bear with me as I get over my constant trembling, heart palpitations, and blood chilling panic.
The forecast says: my brain fog should hopefully clear soon.
#sorry guys I’m almost finished#everything’s just come to a crashing stop#ellie’s thoughts#mental health is in the GUTTER rn#mental health? I hardly know her#mental illness my old friend#we meet again#text
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Little suntan doodle with my new colouring obsession 💕💕💕
#Also HELLO#IM BACK AT IT AGAIN#hello 'my art' tag my old friend#we meet again#starting this small with a little suntan doodle#will be posting art again from now on yay!!!#omori fandom#omori#omori fanart#omori sunny#omori kel#omori suntan#my art#mango's doodle
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Greenest Flag BL Bracket
Round One
Pat (Bad Buddy) vs Mork (My Ride)
Togawa (Old Fashion Cupcake) vs Prapai (Love In The Air)
Win (Between Us) vs Jin Xun An (My Tooth Your Love)
Porchay (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)
King (Bed Friend) vs Akk (Enchante)
Ayan (The Eclipse) vs Dean (Until We Meet Again)
Chopper (Never Let Me Go) vs Guo Changcheng (Guardian)
Tinn (My School President) vs Kang Sejoon (To My Star)
#bl bracket#bl shows#bl drama#bad buddy#my ride#old fashion cupcake#love in the air#between us#my tooth your love#kinnporche the series#kinnporsche#cherry magic#bed friend#enchante the series#the eclipse#until we meet again#uwma#never let me go#guardian#my school president#to my star#green flag
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Cammy went on a trip for a month to meet up with old friends and told Harvey to do the same. So, Harvey had to fend for himself socially without his emotional support fairy and he realized, "Hey, I can do this. I don't need to have Camellia with me all the time to do these things I've been afraid to do....but I do *want* them here."
For Cammy's side, they realize that it's nice to have a home to keep coming back to. The fairy village used to be that, but Harvey's garden is their home now.
And yeah, I cry, what of it?
#its a canon event. but in the back of my mind it would also be the moment they realize how much they love each other#but thats between me and you#ill say this is harvey around 28 when the garden is more homie. hes on his feet now and has a clearer memory of old friends and family#so he would reconnect with cammy's push since cammy travels around alot and makes a lot of friends and tries to visit whenever possible#but cammy doesnt want to be his crutch forever. harvey CAN stand on his own. he was just afraid to take the first steps without em#he doesnt reconnect with his family eli and his parents until 29 ish. he has the means to do it but#there is a fear he cant describe that kept stopping him#cammy goes along with him for this. to meet eli and even fly to the philippines with him to finally see his parents again#THATS where the canonical ending of the narrative is. when his trip to the philippines is over and says his goodbyes#it ends when he says like 'i have a garden back home to take care of' credits roll#and then we have an open ending for all the fanfic writers to interpret and fight about#grow as we go#harvey#camellia#comic
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its so weird thinking about childhood best friends you don't know anymore. like. the girl and her siblings who lived next door for year, who I used to considered my sister, who now looking back on it was probably my first crush ever, who swore we would grow up together, who was only 'visiting' her family for a month, turns out her parents lied to us, I never saw her again. the girls I went to summer to summer camp with every year and now I can barely remember there faces.
like. how are they doing?
I still can't conceptualize that these people who mattered *so* much to me are just... gone... chances are that I will never see them again, especially my best friend who's back in Pakistan, and even if I did, so much time has passed that I would most likely not recognize them even if I did see them.
#in my mind they're frozen in time#who knows where they are or who they've become#to me we're still 8 years old playing Minecraft in her basement#or 11 and going to the beach#or 12 and im sitting next to her at the dinner table#im 10 and meeting up with all my friends at summer camp#im 13 and its my last year at camp and we all sorta know we'll never see each other but we won't say it#im 14 and scrolling through my old Instagram trying to find a sliver of hope that I'll ever talk to her again#I miss her#I miss them#im forgetting her voice#how is one of the most important parts of me. of my childhood fading away?#currently sobbing#if fatima. who loves unicorns and dogs and the color purple and popcorn and brownies and left for a wedding and never came back. Hi.#your best friend misses you. More than you could ever know.#I still have those friendships necklaces that were supposed to come in before you left. they came 3 days after. I still have them in my room#I never gave the pink one to rose. I never saw her again either#personal vent
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🐇💭
#so yeah i messaged my old friend A a month ago#then we talked a little and i managed to reply with no more than one day inbetween#but then i just go so fkn avoidant in general and didnt reply for two weeks FUCK#i replied now but idk...#this has been a reason in the past why he has ghosted me :(((#so i can just hope he replied again...#but i also was a little crazy and took a deep breath#and asked him if he want to hang out someday lol#im scared and idk it feels anxious af bc i havent seen him in years and years and i dont know how to talk to him anymore#but yeah i figured that even if he doesnt reply now and doesnt wanna meet up#at least i have done whgat i wanted which is to ask him and let him know i would like to meet up#im so anxious abt it tho omggggggg#god i hope he replies... i hope he says yes..bc even if its scary i wanna see him again#even if its just once and we're like oh..#it doesnt work anymore.. at least ive gotten to see him one last time#so yeah im scared but i so badly hope he replies#but i hate myself for being so fkn stupid and useless like why couldnt u#couldnt *i just have replied earlier ffs
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Twitter akekit week doesn't allow gore or n/s/f/w :(((
Not that I can write right now anyway with my pain condition the way it is lol
#if i can only finish the fic i started#you would read so much gore#wanted to write last night but#ah my good old friend agonizing pain we meet again
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Hi there - I just wanted to pop in and see how you’re holding up. I hope the days have been landing gently for you. — June
💕 it’s been hard, though every day feels 2% lighter. his passing really hit me and, selfishly, it made me reflect on my own struggles and the loneliness that sometimes comes with them. nothing like what he went through, but it’s tough not having anyone close by to share this kind of sadness with. i’m trying to take this as a reminder to reach out more and work on building new connections.
i’m endlessly grateful to be part of this fandom, where kindhearted people like you reach out, and we’re all here together in this. i feel so lucky to have amazing friends and mutuals online that i can lean on. i hope you’re doing okay too, June. sending you lots of hugs!💕
#putting this in the tags bc its nothing life changing and i dont want to sound like im sharing tips#but im actively hunting for distractions that comfort me#i started reading again! last time i touched a book was in feb#i joined a book club in my city and cant wait to meet the girlies from there next month#signed up for a yoga class#signed up to steam and put some old school games on my wishlist that i might get at one point#made a list of cafes near me that i want to visit#and letting my friend take me to this workout class every week lmao we will see about that tho#hate moving my body but it does help clearing out your mind for at least a few hours bc you are busy sweating#answered#lovely people
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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