#my motivation to learn how to write is back
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leenope · 2 months ago
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Amazing how my un medicated antipsychotic mind feels so much better and creative and I can actually fucking THINK and have emotions again
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gifti3 · 6 months ago
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guess who's back, guess who's back? me and i brought more arranged marriage AU writing. the last post was this one.
this post is shorter and features Asmo and Luci this time. Cause i needed to get some complaining Asmo in here. Anyways thanks for reading, hope you like it :] (and happy early birthday to Asmo!!! 🎂🎉 sorry for putting u in situations lmao)
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"Asmodeus stop hanging off me."
Lucifer tries to pull his brother off, but he doesn't budge. Asmodeus who was currently kneeling next to his study chair, continue to hold on to his arm with surprising strength.
"But you have to help me! Pleaseeeee!"
Lucifer lets out a deep sigh, continuing his work and looking through documents as if Asmodeus isn't there. "I already told you, Father's word was final."
"But-But there has to be a way to talk him out of this! And you're the only one he might listen to!"
"Trust me, the one suggestion I made was completely rejected. He's completely resolute about this marriage."
"Then make another suggestion!"
"Can you at least meet MC first before you throw a tantrum like a child? From what we've seen they're polite and mostly keep to themselves. So getting along with them should be easy for you as long as you don't do anything foolish."
"Hmmm…they sound kinda boring."
Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose. He could feel a migraine coming on. "Behave when you actual meet them Asmo."
Asmodeus huffs and finally releases his older brother and instead begins pacing in front of his desk.
"But why does it have to be me? I know I'm a catch, but last time I checked, other people in this family weren't married!"
"I already explained this. Father expects you to be more involved in the socioeconomic affairs of the family. Which you've managed to avoid for years."
"Pssh but am I the only one though?"
Lucifer doesn't even bother answering him.
Asmodeus looks off to the side. Maybe he wasn't that involved in the more "serious" aspects that kept their family on top, but at least he went to all the important social events unlike Leviathan. That must count for something.
Though the idea of Leviathan getting married was definitely something he couldn't see happening any time soon. It might overload him. Only recently did his older brother start showing his face in public consistently….and it would be nice to see Levi fall in love naturally one day. Maybe he could convince him to go out on the town with him… Baby steps, baby steps.
Mammon was already married (surprisingly). Which much to his dismay, really cut a lot into their nights out. Though he would never admit it to his face.
Lucifer and Satan could probably avoid marriage if they wanted to, considering all they do.
All that left was Beelzebub and Belphegor. Shoveling off marriage to his younger siblings didn't feel right though.
Asmodeus visibly deflated. He sighs and flops down in the chair in front of Lucifer's desk. Even though he was doing this, he already knew it was over before it even began. It didn't stop him though. In fact, he had complained to Lucifer the day before.
And the day before that.
He'd cried to Satan and even bothered Mammon, who gave him terrible marriage "advice" that he made sure to tune out.
But it wasn't like him to not be at least a little persistent and complain when things weren't going his way!
And this was something worth complaining about. Him getting married? There's certain things marriage entailed right? Wouldn't he be expected to stop with his current lifestyle? Partying and playing around? Sharing his beautiful existence with the world? It just wasn't right!
He wouldn't do it, especially for a stranger.
Asmodeus crosses his arms. "….Are you sure I can't get out of this?"
"Asmo for the love of God. Father was serious about getting in this family's good graces, and this is a sure-fire way to do so. As you said so humbly, out of everyone here you're the most practical choice. And even if one of your brothers were picked instead, who says it won't be you the next time?"
Asmodeus's frown deepens. If he wanted to continue living such a comfortable life, he couldn't really just go against Father either. Even if he was okay with giving it all up, it was too scary.
"Meet them first. Now can you go find someone else to whine to. I'm busy."
Guess that was the end if the today's discussion.
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fatedroses · 10 months ago
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Your Avendurer! Zenos comics are always so good, and I love how you write him. The touch about him being functionally doomed to immortality is the perfect level of extra spice on top, too. Imo it's the perfect motivation for him to genuinely try to better himself as a person.
Thank you! Tbh the concept has had a hold on my brain since the end of Endwalker, and I'm glad you really enjoy it ^-^
It’s the subtle character development he’s gotten over the course of the story and the potential he has that makes me adore writing Adventurer!Zenos and the journey he has in turn of following the WoL's (Meteor, in my cases) footsteps.
Making himself immortal is actually the main inspiration behind it too, it's a consequence that self-sabotaged his original goal. Maybe eventually becoming a wake up for him that Alisaie was absolutely right and that he may still have an opportunity to not doom himself to being alone forever.
It's actually why I also made him a tank too, having him turn away from being "the man who was willing to destroy the world for his own chase of his desires" to him being willing to throw himself in and to help and protect others even at the cost of himself for a time, a thought that has stuck with me since the theory of him saving WoL with the remote crossed my mind.
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vegley · 4 months ago
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hi guys i am pretty bored
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sorikkung · 6 months ago
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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vossn · 10 months ago
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years ago
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WIP Ask Game
tagged by @whitenikes and @songsandswords!! thank you 💕🥰
RULES: Post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.
(guess i’ll have to) fall in love with strangers
this is called i project onto kevin
fantastic!
a bitch can only say “****** ****** ****” so many times before they have to. y’know. write it
good dog bad dream
tagging anyone who hasn’t done this yet but wants to because i am ✨late to the party!!✨
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baby-girl-aaron-dessner · 3 months ago
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Macklemore cancels his show in Dubai to boycott the UAE in solidarity with the people of Sudan:
“At the end of the day I have to ask myself what is my intention as an artist? […] Although dismantling systemic oppression might not fully happen during my lifetime, our collective analysis is evolving. That is where it starts. When we realize our individual liberation IS Palestinian liberation. Is Sudanese liberation. Is Congolese liberation.”
He also writes:
“The last 10 months l've been learning what factors/motivators feed genocide and global systemic oppression. I keep getting led back to self interest over collective interest at the root. Capitalism is the glue that holds this ideology together. And if I take the money, while knowing it doesn't sit right with my spirit, how am I any different than the politicians l've been actively protesting against?”
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misskamelie · 8 months ago
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What do you know, my understanding of this foreign language is improving even if I'm not there to listen to it and use it, that's pretty good news :)
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angelicsoka · 4 months ago
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THE HAT RULE, t. owens
word count | 1.7k words
pairings | tyler owens x meteorologist!fem!reader
summary | where tyler owens decides to show the reader what the hat rule is. 
warnings | MINORS DNI!! 18+ ONLY!! HEAVY smut! reader doesn’t know the hat rule. not proofread. lowercase intended. 
a/n | first of all, sorry for disappearing, i've had NO motivation to write on here, but i saw twisters yesterday and seeing glen powell in a cowboy hat changed me as a person, and also gave me motivation to write. i’ve never written a full smut so i apologize if this sucks, i've stepped out of my comfort zone for this one.
the first time you had ever encountered a tornado was a memory you were sure to never forget. growing up in new york meant rain and snow but no tornadoes. so when traveling to nebraska on a field trip in high school, you were unprepared when the sirens sounded, sending everyone into a frenzy. you had watched as the rain pelted from the sky, a funnel forming up above. you were mesmerized as your teacher pulled you to safety, a sort of thrill tearing through  your body. from that moment on, you knew what you wanted to do. you went to college for meteorology, graduating near top of your class before going onto to work at a local news station. but it never quite settled the feeling that something was missing, until you stumbled across tyler owens’ youtube channel. 
tyler owens had become a sensation, a daredevil who did more than just chase the storms, he rode into them. and that seemed to heighten that need of a thrill. so, you hit him up and to your surprise, he replied. and what had started out as a week off of work to storm chase with the daredevil, turned to going part time at your job and joining him on the road.
that was a season ago, and now you were sat at a dingy bar, sipping a beer with tyler and the team. the man himself was sat on the stool next to you, nursing his own beer and listening to lily speak. you ignored the slight butterflies that entered your stomach as he laughed. you had learned to never mix work and love, but something about tyler had you questioning that lesson. he looked mighty fine in his blue jeans and button up, supporting a cowboy’s hat on his head. you noticed your beer was gone, standing up you turned to your crew.
“i'm gonna get another beer, can i get anyone anything?” no’s were murmured around the group except for one.
“i could use another, how ‘bout i come with ya?” you shrugged, tyler getting up to walk with you. lily let out a low whistle, stopping at your glare. 
“be my guest.” you two walked over to the bar top, signaling the busy bartender. “can we get two more, when you get a sec?” the bartender nodded, going to make a few drinks before he could grab their bottles. 
“so, miss city girl, how you likin’ riding with us? ready to go back to the big apple yet?” tyler questioned, turning to look down at you slightly. damn the height difference.
“don’t think you’re getting rid of me that quick, i have a lot more storm chasing left in me, cowboy.” you winked, tyler laughing. you debated for just a moment before reaching up and taking the cowboy hat from his head.
“the hell you think you’re doing?” tyler questioned as you placed the hat on your own head, admiring your reflection on your phone.
“you wear this hat all the damn time, i just wanted to see if there was something special about it? maybe it has some magical powers or something.” the bartender came back around, beer bottles in hand. you thanked him, handing him some cash before turning back to tyler, who had an odd look in his eye. you quickly took off the hat, worried you had pissed him. you went to hand it back to him, when tyler shook his head:
“keep it on, it suits you.” tyler picked up his beer, beginning back to the table. the comment caused a light blush to dust your cheeks. shaking your head, you hoped it didn't show too much as you followed him back. you sat in your seat, confused by the odd looks you received from the crew. nobody said anything about the hat as the night went on, but that didn’t stop the odd looks.
by last call, it was you and tyler left of the crew. thankfully the bar was across the street from the motel, tyler paying the tab much to your protest, before setting off back to the motel. you had forgotten you still wore tyler’s hat upon your head, only remembering when you went to brush your hair from your eyes, your hand bumping the rim. “hey, do you know why everyone kept giving me weird looks after i put your hat on? and why boone and dani wouldn’t stop snickering?” tyler looked over to you as you climbed the stairs of the motel.
“you don't know?” you shook your head in response, tyler holding a bewildered look. “you don't know the hat rule?”
“there’s a hat rule?” tyler stopped at his door, which neighbors your’s and lily’s. “what?”
“you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy.” he deadpanned, your eyes widening and a heavy blush coating your cheeks. 
“oh my god! i promise i wasn’t trying to imply that or anything. not there’s anything wrong with you, because you’re– well you’re you, and–”  you fumbled over your words, stopping mid sentence when tyler laughed.
“hey, it's fine. if you weren’t trying to insinuate that, that’s fine. but if you were, well, now's your chance. and i’d be more than happy to show you how that rule works.” tyler walked closer, a minimal amount of space between you, just enough to allow you to choose whether you close that gap or leave. 
you stood there for a moment, stunned at his offer. and without much thought, you closed the gap, hands going to grip his face and pull him closer to you. his hands moved to your hips, fingers digging into the fabric of your shorts. the kiss was feverish, all unspoken feelings surfacing. tyler began to pull away much to your dismay, one hand leaving your hip to fish out his keys from his pocket as he moved his other arm to hold your waist. he unlocked the door with ease, pulling you inside and shutting the door before pushing you up against it, the hat falling as he did so. he went to town on your neck, enticing soft moans and whimpers from your lips. the way he sucked at your neck and how he had previously handled you had conjured up a pool of wetness in your panties. 
your arm wrapped around his neck, holding him to your throat, as your fingers tugged at his hair. he groaned against your skin, biting down ever so softly when you tugged on his hair. he gripped at your leg, pulling it up to give him better access to your cunt. he rubbed his clothed cock along you covered cunt, pleased with the moans that escaped your mouth.
“god, keep moaning like that and i might have to take you right here.” you blushed once more, pulling tyler to meet your lips once more. you pushed off the door, lips still connected to tyler’s as you blindly pushed him back to the bed. his legs hit the edge of the bed, tyler breaking the kiss as he pulled off your shirt, both of you kicking off your shoes and socks before lips were reattached once more. 
you pulled back, tyler unbutton his shirt as you began to work on his belt buckle. “woah, easy, pretty girl. you’ll get a taste, don’t worry. the night’s still young. but for now, i gotta show ya what happens when ya wear the hat.” tyler pulled off his shirt, walking to pick up the forgotten hat, placing it on your head. “this stays on.” you nodded, eyes hooded as tyler pulled your shorts and panties down. “you’re even more perfect than i had imagined.” before you could question him, tyler pulled his jeans off, his boxers next as his cock sprung up. tossing them to the side tyler pulled you onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed, “you sure ‘bout this? i don’t have any condoms.” tyler asked, different from how he just was. you nodded, kissing him softly.
“i’m on the pill, and i trust you.” tyler nodded, holding over his cock as he slowly guided it along your pussy. you held yourself up as tyler’s thumb rubbing your clit, enjoying your whimpers. “please, tyler.” you begged, tyler aligning his cock with your entrance before guiding you down. you hand went your hat as your head rested on tyler’s shoulder, almost pornographic moans escaping from your lips. “oh my god.” he slowly eased himself into you, whispering praises as he did so.
“god, feels like you were made for me.” your cunt hugged his cock beautifully. when his cock was fully in, he allowed you to get used to the stretch, “tell me when you're ready.” you stilled for a moment, adjusting to his size. you kissed and sucked on his neck, slowly beginning to rock your hips. “fuck, let’s get this off of ya.” tyler’s hands skillfully unclipped your bra, tossing it to the side, fingers ghosting over your perky nipples. you pulled off his shoulder, giving him better access to your tits. “you’re fuckin’ beautiful, darlin’.” tyler attached his mouth to one of your nipples, enticing a soft moan. you continued to ride him, hips moving faster as you chased your incoming orgasm. your left hand gripped tyler’s shoulder, fingernails digging into his bare skin as your right hand held onto the hat that adorned your head. 
as your orgasm inched closer and closer, your movements became more erratic, chasing your high. tyler moaned, whispering praises as your walls clenched around his cock. he knew you were close, mouth moving to your pulse point as he pounded into you, taking over. tyler clapped a hand over your mouth as your orgasm hit, muffling your screams so you didn't wake up your neighbors. his movements however did not slow as he worked you through your orgasm, chasing his own high. your legs trembled as he continued to pound into you, your second orgasm of the night approaching quickly. “fuck! fuck, ty-” you cut yourself off, body shaking as you hit your climax once more. tyler began to huff and moan, pulling you impossibly closer as he reached his own high. you blubbered, unable to form actual words as tyler’s hands roamed your body. you pulled back, kissing him roughly.
“goddamn,” he helped you off his cock, helping guide you onto the bed, “think you’ll be able to handle a round two?”
“don’t go thinking you can get rid of me that easily.” 
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cheswirls · 1 year ago
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for the third time in a row i have come up with an insanely good fic idea at the end of the year but before the end of the semester so i can't even attempt to write it. hopefully in december i'm still sold on it or maybe next week on break if i'm not too busy playing catch up w course work
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byoldervine · 7 months ago
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Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)
1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out
Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on
2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page
RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable
3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it
Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them
4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt
Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else
5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference
Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on
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hiraiologist · 24 days ago
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i don't know why i like you (but i do)
minatozaki sana x f!reader
8.7k words
synopsis: maybe there’s a reason they tell you not to mix business with pleasure. but with a coworker like minatozaki sana, you can’t find it in yourself to care.
tags/warnings: set very loosely in tdoong ent universe/office setting, smut (cunnilingus, fingering, begging, restraints), fluff, super super mild angst like its so brief it barely counts as angst, miscommunication, not actually unrequited feelings, lowkey switch!sana, coworkers with benefits to friends with benefits to lovers
a/n: i’ve been rewatching TTT quite a bit and tdoong ent office worker sana is too cute. i combined her character here with sha rich bc i'm a sucker for her ngl like okayyy shes serving high femme realness….. anyway this is not my best & i lowkey hate it SAWRY but i just wanted write Anything to get myself back into the groove again :p i'm trying to find motivation to finish some other works too!! next up is gonna be either a short halloween thing for momo (if i finish it in time) orrr what ive been working on for tzuyu ^-^  title from i don’t know why i like you but i do by the wombats.
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you don’t know your newest coworker, minatozaki sana—not really. but there are a few things about her that you’ve started to learn.
for one, she is one of the loudest people in the entire office. it doesn’t bother you—after all, your close circle of friends includes plenty of other loud people from the office, like nayeon and jihyo and momo—and it normally wouldn’t even cross your radar. and yet, every time you hear sana’s high pitched giggle from across the room, you can’t help but lift your head from behind your computer. 
another thing you’ve learned is that she is, to put it plainly, a brat. the second she showed up at the office bragging about how her father owns the company, always reminding you that it’s her family name controlling your future, you knew this about her. she’s spoiled, privileged, pretentious, condescending, lazy, richer than anyone should be allowed to be—
nearly a month after sana’s first day, you’d grumpily proclaimed to some of your coworkers that sana was the most irritating person you’d ever met in your life.
chaeyoung told you that you were being unreasonable and you should just talk to sana. tzuyu told you that you were being insufferable and you needed to get laid.
naturally, you’d decided to kill two birds with one stone.
two months after sana joined the company—her father’s company, as she always reminds everyone—you found yourself in her massive apartment, her pink lips hot and wet against your throat as her hands fumbled with your top. “this is pretty,” she’d said when she greeted you at the door, fingers playing with the fabric.
not ten minutes later, that same top was thrown carelessly on her bedroom floor, followed immediately by sana’s prada skirt.
which brings you to now, in sana’s enormous bedroom, where there is a third thing you’ve learned about minatozaki sana: she’s the most attractive person you’ve ever seen.
maybe you already knew that.
but you don’t have time to think about anything beyond that before plush lips brush against your collarbone, and you let your mind go blank as her mouth moves down, down, down—
maybe minatozaki sana has learned a few things about you, too.
the two of you make a habit of late-night meetings at her apartment.
it’s nice. the sex is incredible—mind-blowing, actually, you must admit—and you learn a fourth thing about sana, which is that she’s actually not nearly as annoying as you once believed. at the office, sana’s rambling has become less migraine-inducing commotion and more mildly tolerable background noise. you almost listen for it now, actually, just to know she’s around—not that you’d let any of your coworkers know.
because when your whole arrangement starts, you ask sana if she could keep things on the low, giving a sheepish explanation about not wanting your nosy coworkers to ask questions. you tell her you want this to be a no-strings-attached situation, just casual sex between two people who happen to be coworkers, and you don’t want anyone else knowing about it. sana agrees easily, giggling about how quickly it had gotten around the office that one of the interns had a crush on your department manager mina, and, to your relief, you figure that’s probably the end of that discussion.
you take it a little too seriously, maybe. truthfully, you sort of ignore her. at work, you both operate directly under dahyun, though you work with everyone on coordinated projects—“work” being a loose term; sana never does anything she’s supposed to do, mostly spending her days just chatting with whoever’s willing to engage in a conversation or be distracted for more than two minutes (typically momo—though chaeyoung, nayeon, and jeongyeon are common targets too) or watching an absurd amount of youtube videos whenever she’s meant to be doing something useful. regardless, you act like there’s nothing between the two of you; you don’t acknowledge her unless it’s absolutely necessary and only exchange words about work-related topics. everyone else constantly talks to her or invites her to hang out, but you attempt to keep your contact to a minimum. whenever you join the girls for a drink after work, if sana shows up, you find an excuse to leave as quickly as you can. if sana’s already in the cafeteria, you find a place at another table on the other side of the room (even if you’d really wanted to sit where momo and chaeyoung are chatting animatedly across from sana). you try as hard as possible to ensure that there’s minimal interaction between the two of you when you’re in public.
but sometimes, sana stares at you a bit too long when she’s standing by the printer, or she greets you a little too comfortably when she bumbles towards her desk in the morning. you don’t necessarily say anything to discourage her, but you think about it—especially when momo smirks knowingly at you as you watch sana bend over to pick up a stack of papers she’d clumsily dropped—when nayeon glances meaningfully at you for half a second as sana starts to whine and complain at lunch about being single and bored—when jihyo approaches you on your birthday and gifts you two tickets to a concert for an artist you’d shown to sana (while wrapped around each other under her sheets) but never mentioned to anyone else before.
whenever they ask, you say to your coworkers that you barely know sana. it’s sort of a lie, but sort of a truth, too.
“maybe you’d know her more if you weren’t always avoiding her,” jeongyeon says one night while you’re grabbing some drinks from the bar together. “i think you’re being dramatic. sana is perfectly sweet, really. i don’t know why you run away every time she looks at you.”
you shake your head. “i’m not avoiding her. but i don’t have to be friends with everyone in the office.”
“well, i think she wants to be friends with you,” jeongyeon responds casually. “just talk to her. i have a feeling you two would get along really well.”
“you know, you should try minding your own business.” you ignore jeongyeon’s eye roll. “whatever. if she wants to be friends with me, maybe she should be more obvious about it.”
if you think too long about being friends with sana—or just about sana—your heart starts to beat a little faster in your chest.
you don’t know minatozaki sana, not really. but you can’t help but think you’d really like to.
about a month after your first night together, sana starts sending you random photos and videos—cute animals, most of the time, or just simple things—usually followed by a short message. this reminded me of you! hehe, she types. you typically respond with emojis—the smiley with the halo usually, or a butterfly sometimes—always non-committal and vague, just enough to let her know you’ve seen her messages. sometimes you send a couple words—so cute!! you say. your texts aren’t long or particularly engaging—still, the frequency of her messages never decreases. there’s a fifth thing you learn about sana: she’s addicted to texting. you don’t know if you prefer that or not.
it’s at this point that you stop putting in so much effort to avoid her. if she happens to sit next to you at lunch, you don’t look at her, but you don’t get up and leave anymore either. whenever she greets you in the morning, instead of responding with silence, you give her a small nod. you let her sit with you any time you meet the girls for drinks, staying the entire time without giving an excuse to go home.
when dahyun asks if you’re friends with sana now, you shrug. “i don’t know. not really? still just coworkers.”
the words feel wrong, taste acrid in your mouth. but they’re also half true, because you’re not friends—not really.
after all, you barely know five things about her.
sometimes, when you have sex with sana, it’s a game. sana says or red light green light, maybe. tonight is one of those nights—lie down, sana says, so you comply. no touching, sana says, so you nod. you’re lying on the bed, wrists and ankles restrained, gaze following sana as she struts towards you, a dangerous glint in her dark eyes. the cool air of the room has you shivering lightly, although it might just be from the hungry look sana’s sending you, lips curled into a proud smirk as she watches you tug a little at your cuffs. she’s spent the last hour teasing you, touching you everywhere except where you hopelessly crave, working you up until you’re dizzy with lust.
“please, sana,” you whine softly. “i need you.” you watch as she crawls towards you on the bed, stops at your chest.
and here’s one more thing you’ve come to learn about sana—sana likes it like this: when she’s in complete and total control, with you begging for her permission for everything. she delights in the way your voice cracks and breaks, too consumed with desire to be embarrassed at your desperation soaking the bed sheets.
“need me how?” she tilts her head teasingly, glancing at your glistening slit and grinning. “use your words.”
“need your fingers,” you whimper. “need you inside me, please.” you yank at the cuffs around your wrists again, impatient. sana hums and leans down to capture your lips in a deep kiss, her tongue moving against your own.
“cute. ask properly,” sana murmurs against your lips, “and maybe i’ll give you what you want.” her mouth moves down to your collarbone and you can feel yourself dripping onto the sheets as she sucks a hickey there.
shuddering, you manage to croak out, “will you please fuck me with your fingers? please, i need you so bad, sana.” she lets out a satisfied chuckle and brushes her lips against yours again, nipping at your bottom lip. a second later, she runs two fingers along your entrance, gathering your wetness before pushing one finger inside. you moan in delight as she begins to pump in and out. “will you add another, please sana?”
“my good girl,” she purrs, “asking so politely.” she crooks another finger inside you and starts to fuck you deeper, faster. you moan louder, gasp and whine when she curls her fingers into your g-spot, struggle against your cuffs as pleasure spreads throughout your body. sana snickers smugly, lowers her head to your chest, wraps her lips around your sensitive nipple. her teeth graze lightly against the peak. “does it feel good, baby?” she uses her thumb to rub at your clit—she’d teased too much, and now you’re positively overwhelmed with desire at every touch.
you try to answer, you do—your mouth opens, but all that slips out are more moans. sana doesn’t berate you this time, just giggles and continues to draw you closer and closer to the edge, fingers moving deep inside you, eventually moving to tease her tongue against your other nipple.
it’s not long before you’re tearfully confessing, “sana, fuck, i’m so close. please, i’m gonna cum.” she circles your clit more intensely then, and you gasp. “sana!” she nips playfully at your breast before letting go and looking down at you.
“what do you say, baby?” her dark eyes bore into your own and you whimper knowingly.
“can i cum, please?” you beg, breath catching in your throat as you watch sana bite her lip, fingers still pumping inside you. you have only moments before you might just explode. tonight she has mercy on you, gives you what you want without a fight.
“cum for me.”
at her soft command, you cum instantly on her fingers, sana moaning at the feeling and fucking you through your orgasm. “oh, fuck, i—fuck, sana,” you cry out, twitching, pulling at your restraints, tears leaking from your eyes as you finally come down from your high and settle into the bed with an exhale. sana slips her fingers out, kisses you tenderly.
there’s a brief moment where both of you just lie there, breathing heavily. you close your eyes, feel her press a kiss against your jaw, hum at the gesture. then she’s moving once more, spreading your legs, kissing along your thighs, biting playfully at the soft flesh there before you feel her warm tongue licking into your slit, lips wrapping around your clit and—
sana uses her tongue to lick up all your cum, looks up at you with lust-filled eyes. she sucks at your bud, fucks into you with her tongue. “sana,” you moan wantonly. you’re still not really recovered from your first orgasm, but that doesn’t deter sana, and you don’t tell her to stop. she suddenly fills you with two fingers again and you whimper as she picks up the speed, mouth moving to your clit once more. the suction is incredible. “oh fuck, yes, sana, just like that.” you grind down against her mouth subconsciously.
she angles her fingers like she had before, presses into your g-spot, flicks her tongue against your clit. “you taste good,” she mumbles before taking your clit into her mouth again. you let out a low groan in response, unable to form words—all you can focus on is sana, her mouth and fingers bringing you closer to your peak with every thrust, every lick, every movement.
she lets you cum two more times that night before she’s undoing your restraints, her own juices sticky on your thigh, then using a damp towel to clean you, offering you water and sweet kisses as she checks in on you.
“as always, you were so good for me tonight,” sana praises you with a bright grin as you sip at your water, your eyes half closed. her fingers trail lightly over the hickeys she’d marked along your thighs, breasts, chest. so maybe that’s another thing you’ve learned about sana—she has somewhat of a possessive streak. “so perfect.”
hours later, as sana sleeps next to you, you watch her chest rising and falling evenly, peacefully, before you collect your things and glance at her one last time, slipping out of her apartment with your stomach filled with butterflies.
it’s going on three months since you’d first slept with sana—and something shifts.
she starts messaging you things that both makes your heart flutter and your stomach flip—things like this is so us underneath a video of two dogs cuddling—a picture of her having a small picnic by the river followed by the words wish you were here.
half the time she doesn’t even add pictures or videos to her messages anymore—i miss you baby, she sends. or just good morning! with some variant of heart emojis. sometimes you get something a little more lengthy—watching the drama you mentioned the other day. have you seen the latest episode? maybe we can watch it together!
you think this means you’re probably actually friends now. the thought makes you grin.
eventually, sana begins leaving little gifts at your desk: your favorite iced coffee, packets of gummies, even a delicate—and expensive—necklace.
you hide the necklace underneath your shirt when mina pulls you aside to gently remind you about the company policy for disclosing personal relationships between employees. you insist you have nothing to say and look away with red cheeks when mina’s eyes drift towards sana’s desk.
it burns against your chest when you wear it, but you can’t bring yourself to take it off, either.
a month passes by, sana’s present never leaving your neck. you meet chaeyoung for coffee one morning over the weekend.
“i’ve been meaning to tell you, but i like your necklace,” she remarks, her thin fingers gesturing towards said piece of jewelry. “it’s really pretty. where’d you get it?”
you fight off a blush. “thanks. uh, someone gave it to me as a gift.”
“someone?” chaeyoung looks at you and notices the pink dusting your cheeks, her eyebrows shooting up. “hold on. you mean like a special someone?” she looks at your necklace then at you again, curious.
“well…” you look away awkwardly for a moment. “i don't know.”
“you've worn it every day for a few weeks now,” she points out. “must be someone at least a little special for you to wear that so often, yeah?”
a small frown starts to form on your lips. “maybe i just really like the necklace.”
chaeyoung hums. “maybe. it does look like something you’d pick out yourself.” she glances appreciatively at it once more before a mischievous grin tugs at her mouth. “but i know you. you like the necklace, sure, but you like the fact that it came from”—she pauses like she’s about to say a name—“this person more.”
and, well. she might have a point.
you’ve learned a few more things about sana over the past few months—like that she tries really hard to do things for you before you even consider asking for them, says things that make you melt and smile softly, giggles at even your worst jokes and talks to you when you’re lonely or upset. it’s all very sweet. sana is sweet. truthfully, you do like knowing she spent time picking out a necklace she thought you might like. the mental image of sana browsing through multiple shops with a cute little pout on her face until she finds the perfect gift for you makes you want to grin like an idiot.
you like sana. a lot, you realize.
but you’re not sure where she stands, because you’ve seen her gift mina and momo things before too. maybe it doesn’t mean anything special to her. that’s something you haven’t learned about her. so you simply scoff and shove chaeyoung in the shoulder, hiding your scowl in your cup of coffee, ignoring the way your heartbeat quickens at the thought of sana, sana, sana.
sana’s wearing that same cute little prada skirt today, the one she wore the day you’d first slept together. there’s one more thing you’d learned about sana: the woman loves her prada. you watch her walk in, greeting everybody with a charming smile and enthusiastic wave.
sana has really nice legs—not that you needed a reminder.
for a few moments, you let yourself stare at her and think about her smooth skin, her breathy whines, her long legs spread open just for you, her soft thighs quivering as you lower your mouth—
“have you already started on that presentation for new concepts for the upcoming quarter?”
dahyun’s voice breaks you from your reverie. you manage to drag your eyes away from sana and look up at dahyun. she seems tired, looking at her computer with her brows furrowed as she taps at her keyboard. you blink.
“uh—no, not yet. i was going to start on it later, though.”
she nods, still staring intently at her screen. “work on it with sana,” she requests. you open your mouth to respond, but she speaks again before you can say anything. “it’ll be better to have both of you coming up with ideas. i know you haven’t really worked with her before, but she’s not a bad worker, really. she usually has quite a few good ideas if you can get her to focus for long enough. but right now she needs something to do, and i can’t get her to work for more than ten minutes. maybe you’ll have better luck getting somewhere with sana.” she exhales loudly then and finally glances at you with pleading eyes, looking worn out despite the day just starting.
you sigh. “okay. i’ll see if there’s a conference room available to book today and grab sana.”
two hours later, you drag sana into one of the smaller conference rooms in the hallway next to your desks so you can speak a little louder with her, hoping to brainstorm together.
you’re wildly unsuccessful, of course.
sana spends the first thirty minutes of your two reserved hours playing papa's freezeria on her laptop while you try to work on your own. eventually, you can’t take it anymore. you look up from your laptop and clear your throat. sana glances at you.
“what are you doing?”
sana angles her laptop towards you a little so you can clearly see her sundae platter on the screen. it’s overflowing with toppings. her customer frowns, gives her zero stars and no tip. sana whines and turns the laptop back towards her, pouting a little before shooting a bright grin at you. “mina showed me this game,” she chirps. “have you played it before? it’s actually pretty fun.” she clicks a few more times, taking a new customer’s order. immediately, she begins creating another ice cream monstrosity. you just blink at her.
“seriously, do you ever do anything productive around here?” you try to sound serious, but you can hear the fondness in your voice, a small smile forming on your face.
“nope,” sana responds cheerily, looking up from her game. “well, i talk to momo. that seems pretty productive to me.”
you roll your eyes good-naturedly at her serious expression. “sana, that’s not productive. that’s distracting.” you tap her lightly on the wrist. “come on, we need to finish this.” you get up from your chair and make your way to the whiteboard on the wall, getting ready to note the major ideas you’d already thought of on your own.
she smiles brightly at you and closes out of her game. “okay, whatever you need.”
twenty more minutes go by, and you’re actually starting to get somewhere. just as dahyun had mentioned, sana’s a good worker when she puts her mind to it, creative and thoughtful. that was something pleasant to learn about her. she’d even gotten up to write a few notes of her own on the board. you’re in the middle of jotting down a few more details on the whiteboard when sana sets a hand on your shoulder, leans in a little closer next to you to peer at your handwriting and you can smell her perfume. you inhale a little, squeeze your eyes shut, try to retain your focus. it doesn't work.
“you smell good.” you don’t even really register your voice relaying the words to sana until you open your eyes and find that she’s looking at you, honey dripping from her eyes. instantly, you blush.
“cute,” sana whispers, gaze dropping to your mouth. she leans in then, brings your lips together in a slow kiss. you drop the whiteboard marker and your hands instantly fall to her waist while she curls one hand around your jaw, the other playing with your necklace and resting lightly against your chest.
kissing sana is familiar, easy, but it’s the first time you’re kissing her like this: in public, outside of the comfort of her apartment, where, theoretically, anyone could see you. the thought makes your heart race rapidly. maybe you should be more concerned about the fact that you’re kissing sana not even ten feet away from your coworkers, barely concealed by the translucent door of the conference room, but the swipe of her tongue against your lips pushes every thought out of your head. you grip her waist tighter, trying to fight back a whine and failing. 
she makes a sweet sound against your lips in return. “sana,” you say hoarsely, pulling back just enough to take a breath, resting your forehead against hers. she just hums. “we—we need to finish this.”
“okay,” she replies easily, drawing back and giving you an innocent smile. your eyes drop to her lips. she smirks.
“okay,” you repeat, unable to look away from her mouth. she bites her lip. you stare.
“i thought you said we need to finish this?” she cocks her head, blinks at you. but she’s leaning in again, her breath fanning against your lips.
“uh huh,” you say dumbly. “yeah. we should… finish this…” you close the gap, kiss her deeply, let out a quiet gasp when she sticks a hand up your shirt and rests it against your stomach, stroking your skin. your back hits the wall, and it’s only then that you realize sana had been gently pushing you backwards. “sana…”
sana presses you into the wall, licks into your mouth. your thoughts become hazy as she kisses you languidly. the hand she has under your shirt brushes against your bra and you shiver. her other hand rests on your waist, warm and firm. you whimper into her mouth and she pulls away, giggling. “you’re too cute,” she whispers against your lips. she drops her hand from your bra so she’s grabbing at both sides of your waist, then pushes you against the wall once more as she leans in to kiss you again. all too soon, she pulls away again, shooting you a playful smile as she sits back down in front of her laptop. you stare at her, breath catching in your throat. “back to work!” she says with a teasing wink.
you ignore her triumphant grin when you impatiently drag her out of her chair and lay her on top of the conference table, not caring that anyone could walk in on you at any moment.
the soft adoring look sana gives you when you help her pull her skirt back on is worth the embarrassment you feel when dahyun winks at you later and tells you she knew you’d get somewhere with sana.
you’re at the office one morning, on your way to the bathroom, when you overhear it.
“you’re so good at this,” a muffled voice groans out behind the corner of the hallway.
“mmm.” another voice. this one is familiar to you—extremely so. “does it feel good?”
it’s sana.
“yes, feels so good,” the other voice whimpers. they gasp and moan. you hear sana giggle.
you briskly turn back around.
well.
it seems like you aren’t sana’s only plaything.
(that’s something you didn’t really want to learn about sana.)
six months.
half a year since the first time you’d let sana’s hands roam all over your body, let her bring you to the edge again and again and again.
you finally stop sneaking out of her apartment, instead starting your days with her arm thrown over your waist, legs tangled in her overpriced sheets. you also find yourself spending entire weekends at her place. you’d taken to going over to her place every friday night and staying until sunday. sometimes you even spend most of the week there, making sure to go to work in separate vehicles. it’s a little more domestic than you’d imagined things would be when this had all started, but you like it—maybe a little more than you should.
it’s dangerous for your heart.
as it turns out, sana’s an awful chef; on one occasion, she starts a small fire in her kitchen attempting to make your favorite breakfast. to ensure you don’t starve, you put yourself in charge of all cooking related activities, lightly swatting at her whenever she hovers around you in the kitchen. but you always give in when she slips her arms around you from behind, rests her chin on your shoulder, croons appreciatively in your ear when you feed her small bites here and there.
she’s annoying.
she’s lovely.
it’s terrifying, because you know you’re falling for sana. you know her now, and you like everything you’ve gotten to know. but what you don’t know is how sana feels. you know you’re friends by now. but sana hasn’t said anything and, based on what you’d heard that one day at the office, clearly she’s not exclusive with you, so you begrudgingly admit to yourself that she doesn’t think it’s become anything deeper than that. it hurts, and you’re sort of embarrassed. of course you’d fall for someone who only sees you as a friend.
it’s this fact that prompts you to shut down sana’s request to tell even just one person about your private time together. she insists that momo can keep a secret, but you give her a firm refusal, almost bordering on hostile. you can tell she’s disappointed, maybe even a little surprised at your aggression, but she quickly presses a kiss to your lips and assures you she’s still okay with keeping things secret. you think maybe you overreacted—it was just one question, after all.
“i’m sorry, sana,” you murmur as you pull her closer. “i just really don't want to risk everyone being all up in our business, you know?” it’s more like you don't want to give anyone a reason to analyze your unrequited feelings for sana, but what sana doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
“i understand,” she mumbles into your ear. “i suppose the girls are sort of gossipy, huh?” you’re grateful for the olive branch, and you accept it quickly.
“more than just sort of. i’ve learned more about nayeon’s favorite sex positions than i’ve ever wanted to know,” you joke with a grimace, and sana giggles and hits your shoulder lightly.
later that night, you try not to pay attention to the churning in your stomach when you think about your gossipy friends dissecting how you’d fallen for the company’s daughter all while she’d been making some other girl moan just ten feet away from your desk.
you wouldn’t be able to handle the humiliation of everyone knowing you’d been dumb enough to break your own boundaries and fall for your fuck buddy, only for her to not feel the same.
sana shifts in her sleep, cuddles closer into you.
it’s enough for now. it has to be.
the next weekend, you find yourself getting lunch with tzuyu. you’re sipping at your water when your phone lights up with a text.
it’s sana. can we have tteokbokki for dinner tonight? i’ve been craving it all day!! i’ll even be your sous chef!!!
you grin as you type back a response. sure. but as my sous chef, you should know that if you blow anything up, you’re fired immediately…
you go back to eating when tzuyu speaks. “who are you texting?”
“huh?” you look up at her. “oh, nobody.”
her eyebrows go up. “you’re an awful liar, you know.” she shrugs, watching you blush. “but whatever. keep your secrets. something tells me i might already know the answer anyway.”
you can’t tell if the feeling spreading through your veins is nausea or relief.
the following monday, sana sits next to you at lunch, and when her hand brushes against your wrist, your breath catches in your throat. you act like you don’t see the smug, pleased look she sends you. she stares at you with a grin—something bright sparks in your chest.
you fiddle with your necklace and try not to think about sana, but you find it’s next to impossible when every other thing reminds you of the woman.
you let your pinky rest against her hand for the rest of lunch. a confession. momo has the decency to pretend she doesn’t notice.
on tuesday, you walk into the office with a cheerful smile on your face. you log onto your computer, work on a few assignments, collaborate with nayeon and jeongyeon on a presentation for the upcoming quarterly report.
during lunch, you sit with tzuyu and chaeyoung and pretend like you aren’t staring at sana across the room—like you aren’t watching how momo’s leg brushes against sana’s, pinky fingers innocently laid across each other atop the table—like you aren’t following how jihyo’s hand reaches across the table to gently fix sana’s hair, tucking it behind her ear neatly—like you aren’t wondering what it might be like to really touch sana in public, to interact with her so easily, to love her freely, loudly.
later, when you’re reporting to mina that you’ve finished your department’s presentation, you try not to stare beyond her shoulder at dahyun and sana giggling together over some sort of inside joke of theirs. you barely manage to push the giddiness down enough to keep your focus on mina, and you falter when sana catches your eye from across the room, her playful grin momentarily turning sultry when she notices your heavy gaze. you pretend it doesn’t affect you and give mina a half-hearted apology before you continue to review the contents of your presentation, sana and dahyun disappearing around the corner as mina nods approvingly at your words.
a few hours later, you’re making your way over to a meeting to discuss the upcoming quarterly budget when you hear it again.
“oh sana,” you hear a breathy voice groan out.
sana and… whoever else she’s hooking up with who isn’t you. they’re in one of the conference rooms. you avoid looking at the door.
“is this good? or do you want it harder?”
“this is perfect.”
sana hums. “that’s what i like to hear.”
you rush towards your meeting, holding back tears as you speed away.
later that night, as you watch sana wash the dishes after dinner, you feel your heart breaking but you know what you need to do. “hey sana?”
she puts the last dish away and turns to you with a little grin. “yeah? what’s up?”
“i think maybe…” you look at sana. “maybe we should… stop.”
“stop?” sana starts to frown.
“you know… stop. this.” you gesture between the two of you half-heartedly. “us.”
sana just stares at you, standing stiffly in the middle of the kitchen. her lip wobbles. “but… why?”
you try to keep a neutral expression. “i just think it’s for the best.”
she’s silent for a long moment. then she looks up at you, eyes hardened. “okay. then i think you should go.”
“oh. uh, okay.” you gather your things as she stares at you harshly. you make your way to the door, then look back at sana. “wait. we’re still okay, right?”
sana just looks at you. she scoffs and turns back around, heading to her room. you try to take a step to follow her, but she puts her hand out. “leave. please.”
so you do.
you text her a few hours later. are we okay?
she doesn’t respond.
you do, however, receive a text from momo a few minutes later. it simply reads give her space.
it’s better than nothing.
(you still cry yourself to sleep that night, not knowing that on the other side of the city, momo simply holds sana in her arms as she does the same.)
the rest of the week goes by slowly. it’s awful. you’re not sleeping, not eating, not functioning.
during your lunch break on friday, tzuyu stares as you shovel rice into your mouth, unimpressed. you ignore her, but eventually her silence makes you shift uncomfortably. you glance around the room, looking for sana. you find her at a table across the room with jihyo and momo. you stare at her as subtly as you can.
by the brokenhearted expression on sana’s face and the uncomfortable frown jihyo gives you—not to mention the way momo is openly making eye contact with you—you’re sure it wasn’t subtle at all.
you look away and catch tzuyu’s eye. “what?”
she blinks at you, shrugging almost imperceptibly. “is there something going on with you?”
you freeze before scooping up another bite of rice. “no.” you try to sound unaffected. “why?”
tzuyu hums. “no reason. it’s just that both you and sana have seemed a little… strange the past few days. i thought something might have happened between you two.”
“and why would you think anything’s happening between sana and me?” it comes out a little less convincing than you’d intended. tzuyu’s brows furrow slightly and she leans back into her seat.
“well… you’re…” tzuyu pauses, clears her throat as she eyes you carefully. “you’re… friends, right?” you don’t answer and tzuyu stares at you again. “come on. i’m not blind. you clearly have something going on with her. why won’t you tell me?”
there’s a flash of movement in front of you and momo suddenly plops down into the seat next to tzuyu. “what are you two talking about?” she takes out her food, immediately biting into her lunch.
“nothing,” you grumble.
“we’re talking about how someone here is in love with sana and is really awful at pretending like she’s not.”
“tzuyu!” you glare at her, then look down at your food, shy. “that’s not exactly what we were talking about.”
in between bites of her sandwich, momo hums. “oh, right.” momo’s next words make you frown. “i heard you guys broke up.” the expression on her face is anything but innocent. you glance over to where she’d been sitting before with sana. sana and jihyo are pointedly not looking in your direction. you look back at momo, who’s trying a little too hard to act nonchalant.
“are you spying on me for sana? also, we weren’t dating. i don’t—what did sana tell you?”
“uh, it’s not spying if i’m speaking to you in front of your face. but i did maybe tell sana i’d come over here and see what you were talking about. also, she didn’t have to tell me anything.” momo snickers, takes another bite. you stare at her as she chews. “you guys aren’t that great at hiding when you’re hooking up in the conference rooms. plus, i know the code to her place. you really shouldn’t leave your panties on the couch so often.” she grins crookedly. you squeak in embarrassment.
tzuyu grimaces. “didn’t need that mental image, thanks.”
momo finally realizes something. “hold on. you weren’t dating?” momo’s next words make you frown. “wait, but you know she thought this whole time that you were dating, though, right?”
you shake your head. “no, that can’t be right. the other week i heard her and someone else hooking up in the hallway. she was doing something right, because they just kept moaning and telling her it felt good. and i heard them again on tuesday in one of the conference rooms. sana was asking them if they wanted it harder, and…” you trail off.
tzuyu tilts her head. “uh, actually.” you look at her and she coughs a little. “i don’t think she was hooking up with anyone.”
“what do you mean?” you frown.
“one of the A&R interns just had surgery on their shoulder. sana’s been giving her massages to help with the pain every now and then.”
your heart stops. what?
momo nods. “oh yeah. sana’s pretty good at giving massages. did you seriously think she was hooking up with someone else? aren’t you, like, practically living at her place?”
you groan, drop your head to the table. guilt washes over you and you swallow roughly. “oh my god. i really fucked up. what should i do?” your voice comes out a whisper. “i… i’m in love with her.”
momo shrugs, shoves the last bite of her sandwich into her mouth. she chews thoughtfully, swallows down her food, then takes a sip of her lemonade. “i know i told you to give her space, but as her best friend, i know for a fact that she misses you. i have a feeling that if you went to her place and explained why you did what you did, she’d probably be willing to hear you out.”
you exhale. “really? you don’t think she’d be mad if i just showed up?”
“nah. well, the other day she did mention wanting to stab you with a steak knife.”
“momo!”
she bursts out laughing. “i’m just kidding. she’ll want to have a mature conversation. she just needed time to think about things. i’m sure she won’t stab you and she’ll hear you out.”
“you’re not very helpful,” you grumble. momo grins at you.
“oh, one more thing. if you ever hurt sana again, she won’t need a steak knife, because i will kill you myself. you’d make an excellent stew, i think.”
“momo!”
you decide to follow momo’s advice, despite the slight worry of sana pulling a knife on you, and find yourself outside sana’s apartment on saturday morning.
deep breaths, you think. sana is a reasonable person. she won’t stab you. she’ll talk to you.
you ring the bell.
a few moments pass.
“what are you doing here?” sana’s voice comes through the speaker. you glance at the doorbell camera.
“i wanted to talk,” you say slowly, “and apologize. and clear some things up. if you’ll let me.”
silence.
then sana’s buzzing you in, and you nearly shed a tear at the sight of sana opening her door for you, wearing one of your worn-out t-shirts and her too-short sleep shorts.
“okay.” she sighs. “come in.”
you give her a soft smile and step inside. she closes the door behind you and turns to face you.
“hi,” you say dumbly, playing with your fingers nervously.
sana cracks a small grin. “hi,” she replies. “want some coffee?”
you can’t help but brighten and smile wider at her. “i’d love some, thanks.”
sana walks towards the kitchen and you follow her. you stand behind her as she pours coffee into your favorite mug. her fingers brush against yours when she hands it to you and you inhale sharply. you look at her and her cheeks redden slightly. “let’s sit down, yeah?” you nod at her words and make your way to her living room, sitting gently on her couch and sipping at your coffee before setting it on the small table in front of you.
“thank you,” you begin, “for letting me in and for hearing me out. i know you could tell me to go away and i’d have no right to complain. so thank you again. but i really want to make things right between us and explain myself.”
sana nods. “okay.”
“i guess i should start with saying i’m sorry. i really didn’t mean to hurt you. to be honest, i didn’t think me ending things would even matter to you.”
“oh.” sana frowns. “why wouldn’t it?”
“i…” you sigh. “i honestly thought you didn’t see me as anything more than a friend. like, a fuck buddy. but i was okay with that because i thought maybe… if we spent more time together… anyway. yeah. but then a couple months ago, i heard what i thought was you and someone else hooking up at work. and that hurt so much—to think i wasn’t the only one getting to spend that kind of time with you, you know? and then i heard the same thing again a few days ago on tuesday, and that was just. you know. all i could take. so… i thought it would be better for my heart to make a clean break.”
sana’s quiet. then she looks at you in confusion and says, “okay, sorry, but—what? i haven’t been hooking up with anyone else since, you know, our first time.”
you blush. “i know. or, well, momo and tzuyu told me literally just yesterday that i’d grossly misheard things. they told me you were just giving an intern a massage for their shoulder surgery recovery. but yeah. i’d already ended things with you when i found out that i was mistaken. so. here i am.”
“i…” sana blinks. “okay. so… you ended things with me because you don’t want me to hook up with anybody else. well, i’m not. so… is that all?”
“actually, there’s something else i need to tell you.”
sana slowly nods, her eyes shining with something you recognize as hope. you take a deep breath.
“i like you—i love you. i'm so in love with you, sana, and i've been falling for you for months and i just—you're all i think about. when i'm with you, i'm the happiest i've ever been, and when i'm not with you, i'm just thinking about the next time i can be with you. it's like… it’s like my life is just measured in moments of with sana and waiting to be with sana. and i’m terrified. because i—i thought you were hooking up with someone else, that you didn’t like me the way i like you. or, well. the way i love you.”
sana lets out a breath, leans forward into your space. you blink and before you can register what's happening, she’s kissing you.
the kiss is—different. it's wet, for one, because someone’s crying. in the back of your mind, you register it's probably you. but this kiss is also all-consuming, like sana’s been holding back every time you’d kissed before this, like this is the first time she’s really kissing you the way she’s always wanted. this kiss is full of love, you realize. sana pulls back slightly and you subconsciously chase her lips, blushing and looking down when she lets out a laugh. she gently leans back in and rests her forehead against yours.
“you’re an idiot,” sana breathes out against your lips. you can feel her smile.
“i am?” you pull back to look at her. she just smiles at you and brings you in for another kiss before sighing.
“you’re so stupid,” sana murmurs, pressing a small kiss against your lips once more. “i…” she trails off.
“you…?” it’s hard to form words with her lips gently brushing against your own. she pulls back again and takes a deep breath.
“i’ve been in love with you,” she says quietly, “ever since you agreed to come over to my place for the first time.”
“wow, okay, i am an idiot,” you whisper. sana just nods, lips twitching playfully into a smirk.
“it’s okay though.” she sighs, leans back in to give you another soft kiss. “because i love you, and you love me.”
when you walk into the office on monday morning, it’s with sana���s hand in your own and matching smiles on your faces. you can see all of your friends gawking at the sight.
mina spots you as you round the corner and purses her lips slightly when her eyes land on your fingers tangled with sana’s. “good morning, you two. anything you’d like to tell me?” she fights back a smile at your bashful expression.
sana wrinkles her nose. “mina, i’m pretty sure you sort of work for me. do i really need to tell you that my girlfriend’s your employee?”
mina’s grin only widens when seven voices start yelling excitedly from around the office.
you roll your eyes as sana giggles. your friends are stupid.
you’ve never been happier.
sometimes, when you have sex with sana, it’s a sanctuary. long-awaited touches and whispered praises. tonight is one of those nights—you’re so beautiful, she says, so you kiss her neck. i missed you, she says, so you lay her down on the bed. you’re settled between her legs, one hand in her own warm grasp while your other hand caresses her skin where you’re pushing her leg up. you kiss along her thighs before you press a kiss against her wetness and hum as she shivers lightly. you squeeze her hand then lick against her slit once, slightly tangy slick coating your tongue instantly. she lets out a breathy moan as you lick again, tongue brushing against her clit. you’ve learned that sana likes it like this, too: when she surrenders to you, lays herself bare for you to adore, attentive and loving and intimate.
you wrap your lips around her bud and suck. she clenches your hand so hard it turns white. you dip your tongue between her folds, lick and suck and lose yourself in her heat.
“fuck,” sana sighs. “just like that, baby. you’re so perfect.” distractedly, you think about how sexy she truly is. skin slightly sweaty, girlish moans and whines slipping past her lips every few moments, body heaving with uncontrolled gasps and breaths every time your tongue swirls around her sensitive clit. you moan into her cunt and feel how she squirms and shivers.
you push her leg up more, hook it around your shoulder to make her more comfortable. as you dip your tongue inside her, you feel her use one hand to reach down and grasp at your hair. she tugs a little and you smirk, knowing she’s enjoying herself.
her slick is all over your mouth and chin. it’s intoxicating, being surrounded by sana’s presence, being covered in it. you pull your mouth away momentarily and use your hand not currently being squeezed by sana’s to lightly drag down along her skin before running it between her folds, teasing her. “shit, sana, you taste so good.” then you kiss her clit, ease two fingers into her, marvel at how easily they slip into her wetness. “oh baby,” you simper. “you must’ve wanted this so badly, hm?”
you bring your mouth back to her pussy, savoring her taste. sana lets out a strangled noise as you find the right angle inside her, curl your fingers slightly, lick against her mound. you bring her clit into your mouth again and suck the way you know she likes. you keep fucking her with your fingers as you eat her out enthusiastically, never wanting to stop.
after a while, sana starts twitching around you. her breathing gets even heavier as she gasps and grinds down onto your tongue. she opens her mouth to say something, but instead she releases a long, drawn-out groan. pleased, you suck a little harder at her clit knowingly, wait for her to speak.
“i’m gonna—fuck,” she gasps. “fuck, you’re gonna make me cum, baby.” her voice is deeper than usual, thick with desire. it sends a thrill down your spine. you hum, don’t stop what you’re doing, finger her a little deeper and keep licking at her.
a few moments later, sana’s letting out a cry and cumming hard on your fingers and tongue. you continue to pump your fingers in and out, slowing down a little, swallowing her juices and lapping at her clit until she’s gently laying a hand on your collarbone. you pull away and take your fingers out and stare up at her, pupils completely blown.
she’s no different—her eyes are unfocused, totally black. she pants and bites her lip as she watches you take the fingers that were inside her into your mouth and suck her release off them. you grin at her. “i love the way you taste,” you say casually. “and i love making you cum. you look so pretty when you do, you know?
sana blushes all the way down to her chest. “yeah?”
“well, actually, i don't know,” you say, tapping at your chin. “i might need to see it again, just to make sure.”
she squeals and giggles when you kiss her, sighs adoringly when you bring a hand down between her legs again.
you spend hours after that watching her body and expressions when she cums—on your tongue, your fingers, your thigh, your stomach—and each time, she looks impossibly prettier than the last.
after you both become too exhausted to keep going, you clean up, get ready for bed together, showering and going through your nightly routine. it’s soothing, and you finally flop into her bed and start to drift off. sana’s still in the bathroom. everything starts to fade as you begin to succumb to your fatigue.
you don’t even register sana coming to bed, pulling the sheets over the both of you, turning off the lights. time passes; you’re not sure how much, but it must be a while, because you keep drifting and waking slightly, on the very edge of finally letting yourself fall asleep. sana seems to be in the same boat. her body has relaxed to the point that you know she’s about to pass out in the next ten seconds. you’re barely conscious, nearly fully asleep, also seconds from slipping into a deep slumber when—
“good night, baby. i love you,” sana whispers into your neck, so low you almost don’t hear her—but you do.
sana settles her arm around your torso, pulls you impossibly closer to her body before all her muscles slump and she enters a deep sleep.
your eyes start to close as her words replay softly in the back of your head.
i love you.
sana’s gentle murmur, soft lips pressing the syllables into your flesh. i love you.
when you finally fall asleep, you dream of warm skin and sweet lips, of lithe hands and wide eyes, of sana and love.
i love you, i love you, i love you.
of all the things you know about sana, this is your favorite.
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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my skill is making nonsense out of nothing fr 👍
#🌙.rambles#reading some old rambles from years back is quite endearing actually#n i. rlly would love to tell me younger self how i love how she thought through those stuff abt my wol well#i wonder though what's the extent of which i cld write or imagine smth i've never experienced before#n likely at times perhaps i force it in a way in my head while knowing it is entirely like. yk fiction just so i can 'feel' it for the sake#of yeah just. expanding my knowledge n understanding of stuff#i think i definitely did that before in late 2021 w that one old ffxiv friend#i mean ofc there's some pain that comes w it but it's all for the sake of learning 🥺#actually i'm not talking abt anything rn i just want to ramble to myself abt random bs before i sleep#tbf i did have nice ideas when i'd use random stuff or create fragmented realities or idk what it is in my head#but i cld always yk differentiate what's actually real or not#being sleep-deprived sucks though i do not think right#i shld sleep. i'm gna get less than 3 hours of sleep like this 😭😭#just have to work on the speech tmrrw n do quite a lot of research bcs of the topic i chose sob#maybe i cld've done something easier n i cld always change it but No i find this interesting n i will pull through#mostly just that n i cld play some ffxiv n fix the fc server c: n farm more gbf bcs i did not play much today#I GOT EUSTACE SUMMER THOUGH !!!! this anniv i have barely gotten anything new but 🥺 eustace is cool. n i got lucifer hehe from 100 <3#as long as i don't lose sight of my passions n like. yeah the love i have for sm things in my life n then hope n always striving to improve#yk i'll continue to thrive. succeed 🫶🏼🫶🏼#i'm not sleepy rn i feel motivated but no i shld rlly goddamn sleep#i came across some notes too of how i wrote my wol like exactly two years ago n.. funny how it still hits now :^)#but yk reading that reminded me of how much time has passed but like. more in a 'ive managed to accomplish so much more since then' way#i'm proud of myself. & i'll continue to do what i can so i can continue to be proud of who i am at heart#n like fuck social anxiety but i'll find a way to yk get through it all anyways. ofc. yeah#i will fix my account next week for sure.
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dwaekkicidal · 5 months ago
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Lessons
˚ʚfwb!Bang Chan x fem!Readerɞ˚
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: Just a regular session of your best friend helping you learn Korean <3
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 1.6k
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader, nicknames; ‘honey and good girl,’ pvssy slaps, playful ass&thigh spanking, Chris calls himself Daddy once lol, rough sex, creampie (try to pee after sex pls <3)
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: max and I spoke about this a few weeks ago and it was soo hot so I wanted to write something for it,,, but then I lost motivation for it for a while😭 anyways hope u enjoy <3
OH and thank you for 700 followers!! (im late so now so ~25 away from 800) :''') I have something planned for if/when I hit 1k hehe, Love u guys :>
DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!
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After you had moved to Korea, you made it your sole goal to be completely fluent in Korean as soon as possible. You knew the basics and some vocabulary that got you through day-to-day encounters, but holding an actual conversation past introductions was rather difficult. So, this is how you found yourself in your current situation. Your best friend and fuck buddy of 2 years giving you weekly Korean lessons.
And this? This was a normal thing between you both. Sitting in his lap practicing while he sits there explaining things and kneading your thighs mindlessly. It was a normal occurrence! The only difference is you usually wore sweats or some sort of bottom that would cover your legs more. Today was one of the hotter days of the week, so you disregarded the extras and opted to only wear one of his shirts, nothing else.
His hands rubbed eagerly up and down your thighs, squeezing the flesh like he does with soft pillows. Again, it was normal, but today he seemed to be restless with his movements. You couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath when he mindlessly squeezed the flesh of your inner thigh rather roughly while he translated a word you couldn’t figure out. “What is up with you today? You’re more touchy-feely than usual.”
“Sorry haha. Had a long day so I’m fidgety.. And you know I can’t resist you in nothing but my shirt.” You only hummed in response. You believed what he said, but you also knew that he wasn’t stupid and that the apology was not for his roughness as much as it was for how riled up he knew you were getting. He was never actually sorry about being physically affectionate with you, but you both knew how you tended to get very horny when his hands were on you so desperately.
“Mmmm.. Let me play with you a little while you read, okay?” You shake your head and push your study items away, pulling a laugh from him when you mumbled out ‘Fuck that, I need you.’
“None of that hahaha. Focus on the reading, honey.” He said, placing a kiss on your cheek before leaning down and biting into your neck. You groaned and leaned back into him, grinding against him in an attempt to make him fold in your favor. He let the first few grinds pass as he left hickeys along your neck, but the second your hands cupped him through his shorts he grabbed your hips to still your movements.
“Hey.“ The commanding tone in his voice caught you off guard and had your hands immediately stop in their tracks. “Stop that. You’re going to finish reading this text and then I’ll fuck you nice and good.”
“It’s not that serious, Chris. It's just a few paragraphs, we can do it after or just skip out this week.. Plus it’s your fault I’m this horny anyways.” The attitude in your voice makes him narrow his eyes, and then he grabs your chin and angles you to look back at him.
“Watch your tone. And I’m not gonna tell you again,” His hand grabbed both of yours and placed them on the table before moving to spread your legs open for him. Then, he finishes his sentence and enunciates each word with a harsh smack to your bare cunt. “Finish. Reading. The. Article.” The last one comes off harder than the others and it pulls a squeal from you, making your hands shoot down and wrap around his wrist while your legs slam shut against his hand. He grabs from your inner knee and hooks your legs over his, keeping you spread for him, and he pulls your book closer again.
You can feel the teasing smile on his face after he places a kiss on your cheek and then speaks against it. “You only have one article left, honey. The quicker you read it, the quicker I can bend you over and fuck you into the table~” You can’t help but whine and nod. Once you look down at the material again, Chris’ hands that were previously rubbing your inner thigh move back to rub along your wet folds. 
Then for what feels like the next hour, but was really just 20 long minutes, you slur out the words in front of you as best as you can. Chris’ left hand swapped between drawing circles into your clit and pinching your nipple, while his right hand shoved fingers against your walls. And every couple of minutes he would swap between kissing your neck to sucking hickeys into your collarbone. However, you weren’t allowed to cum and any time you mispronounced something or took too long to read a word, a stern slap was sent against your clit. As long as you continued to read well, he would pump 3 of his fingers in and out of you.
By the time you’re halfway through the material, your mind is foggy and you’re almost drooling on yourself from the constant edging. By the time you’re on the last sentence, your legs are shaking and you're slumped against him letting out quiet moans. Your neck and collarbone were so red from his incessant suckling, and you were desperate to get this over with. And then, when you finally finished, he stopped all movements to place a soft, congratulatory slap on your thigh and massaged your hips.
“Good girl… Now was that so hard?” With that, he hurriedly clears the desk before helping you stand and then standing himself. The chair you both rested on was kicked backwards and your whole world spun as he suddenly pinned you to the desk. You whined as his hand held a tight grip in your hair and pushed your face into the table. His free hand playfully squeezed and slapped at your ass a few times before you heard his shorts and boxers hit the floor.
You sighed out his name as he teased his tip through your folds, silently pleading with him to hurry it up. “Shhhhhh… ‘Atta girl. You did so well, baby. Now let me take care of you, yeah?”
He finally sunk in and nothing but low, whiny moans left your lips as you clenched around him. His free hand grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing it in appreciation while he slowly sunk every inch he had to offer. Once he bottomed out he gave you only a little bit of time before his thrusts started, albeit slowly at first but quickly ramping up due to his own impatience. It doesn’t take long for him to change to an unforgiving and rougher pace, his hand still holding your head against the table.
“Fff-fuck.. Christopherrr-”
“Yeah yeah, baby. Daddy’s got you. ‘M nice and deep, just how you like it right?” You missed the way he smirked when you let out a desperate ‘Uh-huh’ in response, but you could feel the way it encouraged him when his hips slammed against yours with more eagerness. He keeps this pace up for a while until he feels you tighten around him, and then he changes to slow, deep thrusts that make your eyes roll into your skull. 
The hand in your hair slides on top of yours on the desk, intertwining your fingers, and he leans forward to place his forehead between your shoulder blades, “Mmmm keep squeezing me, Honey. Fffuck, juuust like that..”
When you’re tipping over the edge, he places a kiss on your sweaty skin and moans against it. “That’s it, baby. Cum for me and I’ll fill you up just how you like it, okay?” You want to nod, but everything hits you at once so you can only cry out against your desk.
As your orgasm starts to fade into overstimulation, he fixes his posture and focuses on his hip movements. A squeaky moan falls from your lips as he suddenly bottoms out and the hold on your hip tightens. He threw his head back and bit his bottom lip as he came, attempting to muffle his whiney moans. He rides out his orgasm by sometimes pulling out and snapping his hips harshly against yours.
“Fuck… If that’s how we end the studying session from now on, I might consider this payment.” He jokes.
You let out a breathy laugh and he starts to pull out slowly, pushing you into the table as he did so. You take the moment to catch your breath when you realize he’s gone quiet and there’s the light feeling of breath on your thighs. Your head snaps back and you realize he was kneeling in order to watch his cum slide down your folds.
“Hey!” you whine and place a hand on his forehead, pushing his face away only for him to resist, so you use your feet to push him harder. He laughs at your embarrassment and stands up, pulling you to sit up as well and lifting the shirt off of you. He uses it to wipe you down before throwing it into your hamper and grabbing one of his spare shirts from your dresser. He steals a kiss before covering you in the shirt, then drags you to the living room to watch a tv show together.
You two spend the rest of the night on the couch, watching tv and relaxing in each other’s warmth. It’s no surprise when soft snores are heard and you look down to see his sleeping face squished into your chest. You huff out a laugh before you snuggle him closer. Then, your eyes get heavy until they inevitably close, and you fall asleep too.
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Taglist:
@jiminssluttyminx @changisworld @juskz @linohumina
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katcoquette · 4 months ago
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Calm After the Storm
Tyler Owens x Reader
masterlist | join my taglist
summary: you’re the calm before, and after, the storm, and he’ll never stop coming home to you… and you’re grateful he’s here to be part of what is sure to become a favorite memory.
★ word count: 1.3k
★ author's note: first onneee for tornado ty & it’s a very soft, quiet moment. just a little somethin somethin while my thoughts ruminate. thank god for twisters bringing back my will to write!! jake, baby, I’m coming back for you! hey & I’m a little rusty… it’s a little rusty; but enjoy!
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Sunsets were always prettiest after a storm, and there was no better place to enjoy them than out in the yard with the horses. The sun was peeking out from behind the clouds as it set, and light glistened off the puddles that were left over.
The scent of rain still lingers in the air, but it’s warm enough that you’re comfortable in the cutoff shorts you’d put on in the beginning of the day. The sleeves on your boyfriend’s flannel had been rolled up by you some minutes earlier, to keep them out of the way of the grooming you were doing, but they just kept slipping back down.
Each time, it forces you to pause your brushing and readjust the sleeves again, which makes your horse, Millie, shake her head and snort in response.
You laugh to yourself after what had to be the fourth time you’d paused, and pet the side of her head. “I know, I know.” You reassure, and resume brushing.
Her chocolate brown coat glistens in the warm glow of the descending sun as you brush over it again and again, getting lost in the motion.
You appreciate the how mundane it is, and let your mind drift elsewhere, specifically to someone else.
Tyler Owens.
To his fans, he was a thrill seeker, as wild and unpredictable as the storms he was chasing, and while all of that was true, it wasn’t what motivated him to do what he did. You’d learned that almost instantly after meeting him.
To you… well to you he was passionate, thoughtful, and safe. He knew every part of you and your soul, and loved it all. You never felt anxious around him, or worried how you were being perceived.
He was also someone your local community knew they could rely on if, and when, the weather turned bad. He was learning about tornadoes, trying to understand them, hoping to alleviate the destruction they left in their paths.
But who said he couldn’t have a little bit of fun while doing all those good things, too?
So, on days like today, when the storm really was just a storm, he often missed what you enjoyed most about summers here. The calm after the storm.
People usually talked about the calm before, the anticipation of what unknown force was coming, but you preferred the feelings that came when it was all over. They weren’t always good, but today- today had just been rain, lightning, and thunder, so you were content, and happy.
It was nothing a blanket on the porch and a cup of tea couldn’t fix- which is exactly how you’d spent the afternoon while he was driving around out there. You figured he’d be back soon; the excitement was all over now.
“I think you’re just about done there, Millie Moo.” You give her a few good pats and bend down to place the brush back in your bucket. You hear his boots on the gravel before the brush is even out of your hand.
“Well, isn’t that a view!”
You smile at the sound of his voice, “The sun setting or the horse?” You yell back, straightening to watch him walk towards you with one hand on your hip and the other shielding your eyes.
“I try to look at the bigger picture.” His voice is softer as he reaches you, putting his arms around your waist. You slide your hands to his shoulders, the side of your mouth quirking up in amusement. He kisses you slowly, then rests his forehead against yours.
You’d never get sick of kissing him- or having to catch your breath afterwards.
You can see the smile on his lips. “I only ever mean you, darlin’.” He leans back, not to let go of you, but to get a better look.
“You look amazing in this.” He drawls, and despite how long you’d known him, you blush. “I wear this all the time.” You tell him matter of factly.
He smirks, “That doesn’t change how ya look right now.”
“I missed you.” You kiss him again, “And so did Millie. We were just thinking about you.”
He drops his hand to grab your own, leading you back to where Millie’s head was hanging over the fence. “Is that so, Mills?” She neighs at his question, making you both laugh.
“How was it today?” You ask him, wondering what he’d ended up in. You had quite your own view now: your tornado wrangler… nuzzling against the horse you’d had since you were a teenager, one leg up on the fence, the green of the grass and trees behind him, all lit up in gold.
“Uneventful.” You refocus on him when he speaks, lost momentarily in trying to memorize every part of the memory this was going to become.
“And?”
He smiles at your prompt for more information. You were always pushing him to share more of his feelings, to open up, confront them, but today that was truly all he felt about it. It was uneventful. But he’ll give you a better answer anyway.
“And- good. I’m grateful for the break. It’s been a hard season.” You give him a knowing look.
“And, I’m grateful to be home in time to see this.” He gestures around himself. “Everything. It’s a perfect evening.”
You hum in agreement, his words echoing your thoughts from earlier.
You lightly nudge your horse’s head out of the way, making room for yourself in Tyler’s arms. “Sorry honey, but I’m getting’ jealous.” He chuckles, but directs all his attention back to you.
You brush his hair out of his face, speaking softly, “I’m glad you’re back in time to enjoy it.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
And he means it.
And you know it.
Of course he loved being out there in the storms, and tornadoes, and hail, but when all of that was said and done, this is where he wanted to be. He’d made that clear to you on more than one occasion.
“You want some lemonade, wrangler?” You gesture with your head towards the house, teasing him with that nickname.
He nods, unable to keep that smile off his face around you, and slings an arm over your shoulder, walking you back inside.
Once you have glasses full of lemonade securely in your hands, with the pitcher snug in your arm, and Tyler’s arms filled with baked goods and bags of crunch, you both head back onto the porch.
As far as you both were concerned, the evening was just getting started.
The sun is below the horizon as you both settle into the swing, the side table now full of food and drink. Tyler hands you a glass and then grabs his own, crossing an ankle over his knee and putting an arm over the back of the swing behind you.
You lean into him, resting your head in the crook of his shoulder.
It’s easy conversation, and then a comfortable silence, your voices fading as the crickets get louder. Soon that’s all you hear, aside from occasional ice clinking the side of your glass when one of you takes a sip.
And it’s perfect.
You watch the red fade to yellow, then turn all shades of blue, darker and darker, until eventually white stars start to glow through the black blanket of the sky.
A colder breeze causes you to shiver, but you still want to hold on for just a moment longer. It seems he does too, though he isn’t one to let you go cold.
He just pulls you closer to him and brings his arm down around you, instantly warming you up. You can feel his chest rise and fall steadily as he breathes, and it grounds you.
He holds you a little tighter, for the times he had missed the sunsets with you, and for all the times he knew you would be back on this porch alone, waiting for the clouds to clear, and for your wrangler to come home to you.
He’d stay there all night if you asked him to.
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