#my mom really said i shit on you

[matchalilly]

My mother never ceases to prove she has the most ridiculous comebacks and this woman waits until you're not ready.

I sassed her right, not in a disrespectful way but teased her over her celeb crush(THIS WAS A WEEK BEFORE MERY CRISIS)...this woman has the nerve the utmost gull to stare me in my face (ON CRISIS DAY) as I'm showing off John fucking Soap MacTavish to my brother and says "Don't know why you like him the Scottish are just rednecks that haven't jumped the pond." THE FUCKING SCREECH I SCRUMPED AND THE LIST I WHIPPED OUT TO DEFEND SOAP, BOOOOOI.

She knew that would get me cause she was sitting in her chair fucking smirking and before I left she leaned in and whispered "that's for making fun of my crush". Idk why my mom's talking shit about the Scottish though with her Irish ass XD

[sereniv]

Can someone who is NOT a zionist tell me why Jewish people have so much conspiracy and hate? when did it start and why? how and why did it spread?

Preferably someone who is jewish or really knows what theyre talking about answer

[western-river]

I'm really pissed of because of a tiktok that included DBDA so here's the rant:

I just saw a tiktok where it showed a bunch of shows where if one decision was made the whole show wouldn't have happend

For example: with heartstopper that charlie gets put next to tao instead of nick, so nick & charlie don't end up talking.

The last slide was for dead boy detectives.. yay DBDA mention!

EXCEPT it was edwin saying hi to simon.

EDWIN DIDN'T OWE SIMON SHIT. THAT WOULD NOT HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE. YOU ASSHOLE. EVEN IF, BIG IF, SIMON WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT AND THEY WOULD GET TOGETHER. IT WAS STILL THE 1900s. IT WASN'T JUST SIMON. YOU CAN'T JUST IMPLY THAT EDWIN DIED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SPEAK TO SIMON. THAT'S VICTIM BLAMING, AGAIN, YOU ASSHOLE.

Mannnnn that pissed me off. Edwin's (after)life could've been a little different, maybe, but simon wasn't the only one who chanted. There were multiple guys that grabbed him. If Simon and Edwin SOMEHOW gotten together, they would probably end up lying on that things side by side while being offered up.

Edwin had no control over his death. It was a hate crime. He is in no way to blame.

You asshole.

[codemiracle]

Please do elaborate on what your mom thinks of the Dies Irae lads. I need to know how much she knows and how she became a Seth and Dr. Kurosaki fan

My mom thinks Seth is "Silly looking" and "A little creepy, but in a good way" She says he looks like an owl or something bc of his eyes. I had Seth as my OC since 2016 so she saw a lot of the phases he went through (some of them are... not really good) Dr. Kurosaki on the other hand, my mom thinks he's husband material, she calls him "The gorgeous blonde man" Bc she can't pronounce his name, also she says that professional men are handsome-er?

She doesn't know the fact they're a little crazy, I let her live in a fantasy world where they are NOT crazy psychopaths.

[iwasbored777]

"I'm a man" 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[animentality]

I know it's a fact of life and all, but it does give me the heebie jeebies, knowing there's someone out there whose job is to masturbate male pigs so they can ship off semen to artificially inseminate sows.

Like I get it... it's just...like...business, circle of life, this is how the meat industry is efficient in how it breeds livestock, but...

I'm trying to imagine someone whose job it is to masturbate a caged pig, and it's like...

Hm.

I hope they pay them...something good.

Also I wonder if like...female pigs ever feel super weird about being artificially inseminated.

Like they know it's not natural.

I assume.

And then I think, well, what about the male pigs?

They probably know it's not natural either, being jerked off in a cage by some human.

What is going through their heads during all this...

[queenbeehistoria]

sweet girl — historia's daughter

notes | i was having brain rot about historia's daughter. she is actually so adorable, and i find it a crime that there is barely anything about her. this is yumihisu centre as well. and to make things for fun, this is set in the 2000s. my girl is an early 2000s baby.

tip: the underline means a link :)

historia named her baby girl after her half-sister, freida.

ymir didn't come around until freida was three. ymir "can't stand kids" but the second freida comes up to her, ymir is so quick to play with her

freida was a barbie girl. she got anything barbie related. ymir tried to get her a bratz doll, but freida kept trying to eat the shoes.

she couldn't get polly pockets either because she tried to eat the clothes on multiple occasions.

one in a million is historia and freida's song. whenever freida's upset, historia just turns that song on & starts singing to her.

my girl is ymir & freida's song.

until the end of time is THEIR SONG. ymir and freida would be dancing to it & then historia comes in to check up on them. ymir just gets all soft and dances with her two favorite girls

ymir dances with her in the living room singing my girl, and the biggest smile comes across freida's face

miss freida was SPOILED.

freida would point at something & ymir would be like "you not getting that." (she is)

historia would just ask freida why she wants it before getting it for her

do NOT separate that girl from her momma

freida will scope the scenery & if she do not see blonde hair & blue eyes, she will start crying

eren, mikasa, and armin babysat freida. this girl do not like eren. eren pick her, she don't even cry. she just gives him this mean ass stank eye. she basically be telling him "put me tf down" in babbles

she's okay with mikasa because they have tea parties & play dolls.

when the eremikamin first babysat freida, she started crying like twenty mins in because she started to realize her mom wasn't there. eren & mika tried to calm her down but nothing was working. freida looked at armin, stopped crying, and just ran to him like "mama!"

the same thing happened when the titan trio watched over her.

berth makes her feel like a giant whenever he puts her on his shoulders. playing wise: she likes bertholdt the most. she always asks for ups when she's with him

THIS GIRL CANNOT STANDDD REINER

freida would be talking in her toddler speech but when reiner even brings his big ass hands near her to pick her up, you'll hear the clearest "NO!"

and when she lets him pick her up, she starts crying immediately and doesn't stop until he puts her down.

eren gets the stank eye, reiner gets the stank face. he can't play with her or nothing. like he would try to play dolls with her and she would snatch them away. she do not like that man 😭

freida starts crying because her mom isn't there. annie comes out of her room & freida sees her. she immediately sprints to annie saying "mommy!"

annie confused as fuck because she is not this girl's mom but she goes along with her.

freida is literally a parrot. people have to watch what they say around her because she WILL repeat it if it sounds like something fun to say. so, historia & ymir try not to curse around her

connie did NOT catch the memo. he was watching freida with sasha & connie. funny enough, she lasts longer & with the trio that doesn't have blonde hair or blue eyes. like they're her favorite.

connie said: "you were an ugly ass baby, but you're adorable now." freida smiled and yelled out "UGLY ASS!" over and over.

when freida learns a new word, she just repeats it over and over. like that word is on loop. so connie had this baby yelling 'ugly ass' on repeat

sasha tried to distract her by asking her to say words like flower, puppy, etc. it lasted for like three seconds before freida started cursing again.

connie accidentally said fuck & shit. freida looked at him before spamming "FUCK SHIT!" jean was stressed out.

they managed to get her to stop the cursing. historia & ymir come home & everything seems fine. historia picks freida up. it's fine until freida looks at historia & goes "mommy, mommy! FUCK SHIT!"

levi, hange, and erwin is freida's least favorite babysitters. hange is fun but she loses freida all the time.

levi & erwin will have her watching crashbox ALL DAY. crashbox is fun but when you watch it all day, every day? and they be having her watch them pbs documentaries too. just education all damn day. like why are you trying to teach toddler multiplication.

babysitting chronicles aside, freida had princess themed bday parties.

like i said, my girl was spoiled so she had them big, poofy dresses with the big ass cake too.

bday parties was the only time freida allowed reiner to come over and be around her. still not allowed to pick her up though.

freida does this thing where if historia & ymir don't like something, SHE doesn't like them either.

the whole reason why freida doesn't like reiner is because ymir doesn't like reiner. and it's the same thing with eren. all ymir said was "i don't like eren that much." freida's mind said fuck eren too.

freida had those big ass barbie dream houses as a kid. she had the trailer too.

freida also had one of those cup things where you could put food in it

ymir tried teaching her spanish. freida only knows a couple words.

freida wanted to be like hitch growing up. miss dreyse was literally the girl with the apple bottom jeans & the boots with the fur. she had that shit ONNNN

when she met hitch for the first time & she wore a pink juicy tracksuit, freida knew who she was at young age

hitch gave freida makeovers all the time

and she brought her toys. them barbies was dressed DOWN.

freida got hella outfits but when ymir dresses her, she got her out here looking like fucking soulja boy.

ymir & historia was freida's first introduction to love. seeing them just be in love was special to freida. she always thought her mom deserved the love she seen in the movies, a fairytale love. freida had never historia more happier than when she's with ymir. that alone made freida believe in true love.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Bro I was reenacting the "Just So" clip while I was putting away the dishes and when Frank yelled at Barnaby I was gonna say "oi fuck you" y'know because I was being silly but what came out was an almost PERFECT imitation of Barnaby's voice- I couldn't even finish the "fuck you" because I broke down laughing

Btw the reason this is so funny is because I'm a 5'2" Latino AFAB with NO experience in voice acting whatsoever yet for some reason the spirit of Giant Blues Clues decided my vocal chords were the PERFECT place to set up real estate

Anyway peace and love

HAGHASBCAKJSCNAKLD I WHEEZED

[butch-himbo-king]

giving up being masc in 2024 i can’t handle everyone and their mother deciding they can say whatever unhinged shit their repressed horny brains are saying abt me it’s too much i’m retiring from serving butch realness cause these bitches can’t handle it

[sofarsogoodsowhat]

AUUUUGHHHHH MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD

[glass-oranges]

Stirling and Emilia!!!!!! I am normal about them I promise

[asklesbianonceler]

I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.

I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:

"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"

And

"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"

[freebooter4ever]

you know when there is one person you need to have a fight with (my dad) but you cant so you find yourself subconsciously picking fights with other people -_-

yeah i need to stop that

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up

[arundolyn]

ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

[thechaotichorselord]