#that she’s talked to her therapist about you because she loves her husband but she keeps thinking about me

[butch-himbo-king]

giving up being masc in 2024 i can’t handle everyone and their mother deciding they can say whatever unhinged shit their repressed horny brains are saying abt me it’s too much i’m retiring from serving butch realness cause these bitches can’t handle it

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[swtt4hk]

Cho Sangwoo when you’re insecure about your looks and body… [Headcannons]

Fluff

• you have been feeling insecure about your looks ever since you were a teenager and you unfortunately haven’t gotten over it as an adult.

•when you got with Sang-woo , you never mentioned it but he could sense how insecure you are. The way you look at yourself in pictures or in the mirror can say it all. And it hurt him a lot to see that the most beautiful woman he has laid eyes on finds herself ugly.

•he always makes sure to compliment you and boost your confidence, he LOVES the way you blush at his compliments and surely loves seeing the confident side of yourself.

•when you finally open up about your insecurities, he makes sure to listen slowly and he’s willing to help his girl get over her insecurities and finally see how beautiful she is.

•he tries to find the best solution and supports you on anything you want to do in order to heal. You want to diet? He helps you make a healthy diet plan. You want to go to the gym and get fit? He signs up to the gym too and you work out together. You want to go to a therapist? He makes sure to find the best one for you.

•when you talk to him about your feelings , you made him make a promise to not treat you any differently just because you’re insecure and he keeps his promise but…he tries to boost your confidence in the smallest ways.

•he really is the best boyfriend (and soon after husband) you could ask for. He always makes sure you are happy with the way you look and has NEVER made a bad comment on you. He also has a way of making some “bad” things sound good so you don’t get hurt.

NSFW under the cut!

•he makes sure to praise your body in the best way possible. He removes your clothes and admires every single part of your body , one by one , explaining what he loves about it.

•when you’re being hesitant and keep resisting that you’re not beautiful , he decides to do it the bad way. He fucks you hard and rough , until you’re screaming and crying , BEGGING him to stop for at least a minute so you can catch your breath.

•when he wants to make you feels beautiful in the soft and good way he makes you ride him slowly and steady while making you repeat his words. “Now , repeat after me , darling. I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I deserve to be loved and I’ll never talk bad about myself again.”

•he knows damn well the parts of your body that you hate and he PURPOSELY praises them the most , so you can finally come to your senses. (e.g. You’re insecure about your tummy , he caresses your tummy and kisses it a lot and sometimes instead of cumming in you , he cums on your stomach and admiring the way his cum looks on your beautiful stomach.)

———————————————————————

I NEED SANG-WOO SO BAD. Also , do you like my new writing style or shall I keep the old one?

Taglist: @chosangwooswife

[emotionally-cuckolded]

[Therapist -- directing her comments to the husband] OK. So I understand that the cuckolding is going quite well, and that your wife now is seeing one particular man quite regularly. That's good. Cuckolding shouldn't be only about the sex. Romance and emotional feelings are important too. But you've also said that there are times when you feel very hurt and rejected. Those feelings when a man is cuckolded are quite common. But remember -- this office is a safe space where it's best for you to be completely honesty about your feelings. So tell me about that.

[Cuck] Well -- it's a little hard to talk about, and humiliating, but I'll try. The thing is -- I understand why she cuckolds me. I get it. I really do. I know I didn't satisfy her sexually. So cuckolding has been a real marriage-saver and I'm really happy we came to see you when things weren't going well. And you warned me early on that there was a good chance that if my wife found a man who satisfied her sexual needs, that she would probably develop real romantic feelings for him. And that HAS happened obviously, and I've gotten used to being alone most weekend evenings and nights while she and her boyfriend are out as a couple socializing and spending the night together.

But -- and this is when things are hardest for me -- sometimes her boyfriend comes over to the house, and I have to sleep in the guest room. And even when they aren't being that romantic with each other, they make me feel like a third wheel -- they talk and laugh with each other and I'm left out of the conversations, and they sit with each other watching TV, and I'm like an outsider or the hired help in my own home and with my own wife, and yes, that makes me feel rejected and hurt. On those nights, I usually have to make and serve them dinner and do the dishes and bring them drinks or anything else they want while they are being affectionate with each other while watching TV, and I even have to make sure the upstairs bedroom is all ready for them.

I want her to have a relationship with him, because I know that's part of all of this. But I still can't get over the feelings of jealousy and rejection.

[Wife] Sweetie. I understand why you would feel that way, because I really have begun to have strong feelings for him, and when he is at the house, HE is the one I want to be with, not you. Surely you can see how happy he and I are with each other. He's so funny, and smart, and just sitting on his lap kissing and petting while watching TV is really wonderful. And so you really ARE a third wheel at those times. And I guess I am rejecting you at those times -- sort of. But really, it's more that when I'm with him, I hardly think about you at all, except as someone who has a lot of chores to do. When he and I are together at home, your role is to do whatever we ask of you. I thought you understood that. I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful. I just need you to accept that my relationship with him takes priority when we're together. You can understand and accept that -- can't you?

[Cuck] OK. Yes. I understand. I'm sorry. It's just that I love you so much. But I'll try to do better about being a good cuckold for you, including just stepping aside so you and he can have your time together. Do you forgive me for getting upset?

[Wife] Of course I do, hun. And I'm glad we've talked about this, because he and I were talking, and I think he's probably going to start spending a lot more evenings and nights at our house very soon.

[sunburnhurts]

Tired || Bruce Wayne x fem!Reader (Battinson)

Summary: Y/n has been supportive of her husband's secret life, but she is exhausted. A year after their separation, they are reunited at Don Mitchell's funeral. The beginning of the story is before the movie, and ofc the mayor's funeral is an event in the movie. The mayors funeral scene isn't exactly like how it was in the movie, but somewhat close.

Words: 2,426

All My Stories

A/n: Hey guys! I haven't posted in a while, I'm so sorry!! I've decided to start doing batman stories, but I'm still doing Cedric ones too! Requests are open! I also wanted to add I have a lot of drafts, so I haven't posted in a while, but I have some stories in the process!

Y/n listens as her husband, Bruce Wayne, shuffles off their bed, onto his feet. She hears his feet against the hardwood floor echoing the dead silent room. She hates it, him waking up in the middle of the night to be Batman.

Ever since he started being Batman, he's been distant. He slowly stopped touching her over the years. He's always be in a different room, on a different end of the couch, different end of the bed.

At first, she excused it as him being tired from saving the city. She would curse herself for being selfish, why should she be complaining when he is saving human beings, bringing good to Gotham? Then she got tired of making herself feel bad.

Y/n tried having conversations with Bruce about his sleep schedule, how much he eats, how much time he spends worrying about being Batman. These conversations always ended in arguments or Bruce not responding to whatever his wife said because he was too busy working on his suit.

Alfred of course noticed Bruce's distance from his wife. He would try talking to Bruce about his worry for Y/n, saying she is lonely during the day without her husband. Bruce would always brush off what Alfred said, worried about 'more important' things to him.

It's not like Y/n was a lonely house wife, she was an actress who was on break. Before she met Bruce, she was in big movies, making just enough money to start a family. When she met Bruce, of course her popularity spiked more. A big actress and a billionaire getting married was big news in the press.

She was now on break from her job because everything became too much for her. Her depression grew from lack of love from her husband. She put herself in therapy, which made her realize she wasn't being selfish. She of course didn't tell her therapist about her husband being batman, covering it up as his new job.

Now, she was listening to her husbands feet taping against their hardwood floor. She let out a breath, listening to him step into the elevator that leads to the 'batcave'. She made up her mind, she didn't want to be trapped in her life, in this mansion.

Half an hour later, she got up, walking over the the same elevator and going down.

"Bruce, we have to talk." She said, stepping out of the elevator, walking over to her husband. She had a calmness in her voice. She heard no answer. As soon as she was behind him, she stopped walking. He was working on something on his desk, she didn't care enough to know what he was working on. "Bruce."

After a hum of a response came from her husband, she hesitated with what she was about to say. This scenario seemed much more easier in her head, the countless times she replayed it in her mind. But once she saw him, it was a lot harder than she was expecting.

"I want a divorce." She plainly said. She watched as her husbands head moved, but didn't turn to look at her. "I've been thinking about it a lot-"

"Are you serious?" He said, fully turning his head around to look at his wife. His voice sounded more angry then upset.

"I've been thinking about it a lot," She repeated, ignoring his question. "and I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He angrily asked.

"Be ignored!" She shouted, feeling her eyes swell up. She hated that he didn't already know what he's been doing. A clenched jaw was all she got in response. "Bruce," She started. "you haven't touched me in so long."

"I've been busy, you know that."

"You know you're just saying that as an excuse." Hearing this made Bruce turn his body fully to the vulnerable, standing girl. "God, Bruce! I don't even recognize you anymore!"

He shakes his head, scoffing. He moved his eyes everywhere but his wife, his breathing heavy with anger. A ding was heard on his computer, indicating Batman was needed.

"Are you going to get that?" Y/n said, making Bruce's eyes lay on her.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, if you don't be Batman for one night, and you take me back upstairs and show me you love me, I'll take back everything I said about divorce." It was true, one kiss from him would change her mind, she was so desperate for affection and she hated it. She prayed in the back of her mind for him to get up, swoop her in his arms, and take her upstairs. But he stayed still.

He turned his head at the computer, taking a moment to decide. She watched as he got up from his chair, walking over to his suit of armor. Her heart ached. She angled her head to the ground, biting the inside of her lip and bringing her hand up to rub her philtrum. Tears stung her eyes as her throat burned.

She wanted to run to him, grab his face, kiss him. She also wanted to run to him, push him, yell curses at him, ruin all his batman equipment. But she knew better.

Beyond heartbroken, she made her way over to the elevator. She had a slight feeling of selfishness, making him choose between her and a job of a hero, but then she squashed that feeling almost immediately. It should have been obvious to pick his wife, he shouldn't have even had to think about it.

Once Y/n made it back upstairs, she started packing everything. Her clothes, shoes, anything she found that was hers. She couldn't stay there any longer, she couldn't look at Bruce any longer. She was a mess now, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hiccuped her breath.

It wasn't even close to morning, she had no idea where she would be going. Her family didn't live in Gotham, they lived on the other side of the country. She had actor friends that lived near, maybe she could try them. She thought of a girl, Nicole, she worked with that she grew very close with, hoping she could crash at her place for the night.

Y/n took out her phone, clicking on Nicole's contact, and pressing call. She listened to the phone ring while she kept packing her things. "Hello? Y/n?"

"Nicole!" Y/n said in a voice that anyone could tell she was upset. "Um- I'm so sorry for such a late call, I really could use your help right now."

"Of course! What's wrong, sweetie?" Nicole said over the phone. Y/n was younger that Nicole, Nicole was like a mother figure to her.

"I just need a place to stay, only for tonight. I will be out by the morning, I promise." Y/n closed her suitcase, zipped it up and sat on her and Bruce's bed. Her head was in her hands as she tried calming down her tears.

"You can stay for as long as you would like!" Nicole's voice calmed her down, giving her the strength to walk out of the mansion.

After Y/n made a plan to meet Nicole, she hung up and made her way to the kitchen with her bags. Her memory flashed to Alfred, it wasn't fair of her to leave Alfred without saying anything. She didn't want to wake him, so she decided on making a note for him.

She grabbed a note pad and a pen, writing Alfred, thank you for everything you've done for me, I love you so much. - Y/n. Tears stained the sheet of paper, she didn't want to leave Alfred, the man who took her in and loved her when Bruce wouldn't.

When Alfred saw the note, his blood boiled. He knew this was going to happen, but he hated that Bruce let her leave. Alfred immediately busted into Bruce's room, waking Bruce up. "What did you do?" He angrily shouted, holding up the note. "Why did you let her leave?"

Bruce sat up and stretched, waking himself up before he took the note in his hand. He read it, heart beating harder. He thought Y/n just went to sleep in one of their guest bedrooms, he didn't know how serious she was the night prior.

~~~~

Months after the divorce finalized, Y/n was feeling a lot better. She now owned her own house, had a new big movie she was working on, and was happier. She of course never told anyone about Bruce Wayne's big secret, she still respected and loved him. There was no way she couldn't not love him.

Her mind would wonder off, thinking about what would have happened if he did actually pick her up, took her back up to their bedroom, loved her. She wonder if things would have changed, if he actually would have taken her seriously and been better for her. She then would bring herself back to reality, dealing with the harsh reality that that didn't actually happen, and it wasn't going to.

Y/n didn't see Bruce after that night, but she knew he was watching her. She knew what his gaze felt like, she would feel it when she walked on the street, even when she was in her home. Although she was mad at him for spying on her, a part of her loved him for looking after her, for missing her.

The media of course made a big deal about this separation. They created rumors and lies about why they split up, it was always something not even close to the truth. That Bruce cheated on her, that she was having a secret affair with her friend Nicole, or that they both were married as a publicity stunt. It was all stupid.

Whenever Y/n was asked about it in interviews, she would deny the rumors. "It was a 'right person wrong time' kind of thing, I still respect and love him very much." She would always say something of that sort to the public. It was true. She would never answer personal questions about Bruce. Mostly she was asked why he was so reserved for being so well known.

Every now and then, Y/n watched the news about what Batman did the night before. She hated that even after the divorce, he still was saving the city, but what was he supposed to do now? He now didn't have a wife to come home to, how else was he supposed to fill his time, how else was he supposed to take his anger out?

He hated himself for picking being Batman, he missed his wife so much. He ate less, slept less, breathed less. He always wanted to reach out, he wanted to hear her voice, smell her scent, feel her touch. He now knew this is how she felt when he was ignoring her. God, he hated himself.

He would watch over her, make sure she's safe. Make sure she's happy. He heard about her being in a big upcoming movie, he was glad she was living her life, even if it was without him.

When Don Mitchell was murdered, Bruce was invited to the funeral. Although he already knew more about the murder as Batman, he needed to be at the funeral just in case any information was released from anyone. It would be odd if Batman showed up to a funeral.

He dreaded going out. He barely went out in public as Bruce Wayne before the divorce, but now he avoided it even more.

Bruce drove his car through the crowd of people, following where ever he was told to go. Once he was there, he got out of the car and handed the keys to the valet and hands him some money. He hears the press screaming his name to come over to talk to them, but he of course didn't. He was there for one thing.

Bruce followed the other known people into the building, listening to any conversation he can. His eyes stayed on the ground, as if not looking at anyone would make it easier to hear. His eyes glanced up for a quick second, catching a glimpse of a girl whose back was turned to him.

He fully turned his attention to the girl, recognizing her. He stopped in his tracks, heart starting to ache. Y/n stood before him, talking to her friend who he recognized as Nicole. He watched as Nicole noticed him, nudging Y/n, bringing her attention to Bruce. It was the first time since the divorce that they made eye contact.

Y/n's eyebrows furrowed in a mix of surprise and longing. She gives Bruce a closed mouth smile, biting the inside of her lips. She looked behind Bruce, seeing that Mayor Reál was approaching him. Knowing that Bruce hates talking to people, Y/n walks over to Bruce, stopping right in front of him.

Bruce watches as Y/n walks to him, his heart racing, his arms longing for her, but he keeps them still. There was no expression on his face, but she could tell he missed her. Y/n watches as the new to be mayor notices her and walks away, leaving the 2 alone.

"Hello, Bruce." She sweetly says, smiling up at him.

Y/n spent 2 years in her marriage already feeling like they've been divorced, so it didn't take long for her to get herself back on her feet after the divorce. It wasn't hard to see him because of the heartbreak, it was hard to see his dark circles under his eyes, his prominent bones much sharper from lack of food.

"Hey, Y/n." His rough voice responded. He cleared his voice.

They started talking about how they've been since the divorce, Y/n could tell he changed a lot. He was more open to talking about his feelings with her, his eyes never left hers, his eyebrows pulled closer together and lowered as he listened to her talk.

"We should catch up more," Y/n starts, "not here, though." Bruce nods, hoping this meant good for their relationship. "Still have my number?"

"Of course," Bruce gave a ghost of a smile.

"It was nice seeing you Bruce," Y/n places her hand on his arm. "talk later?" Bruce finally broke eye contact to look at Y/n's hand placement. He missed her so much.

He nods while saying, "It was nice seeing you too, Y/n."

Bruce was never mad at Y/n for the divorce, he was always only mad at himself. He never wanted to watch over Y/n while she lived her life, but he couldn't ever help it. He wanted to distance himself as far away from her as possible, but he needed to know she was okay.

When Y/n walked away, back to Nicole, Bruce reminded himself of why he was here. His eyes landed on Don Mitchell's son, the one that found his father dead. He noticed that Y/n was now talking to the widow, Mrs. Mitchell.

Bloody screams came from outside, a lot of commotion from the second story of the church. Bruce looked up and saw someone standing still, not being effected by all the movement and screams. Bruce knew something bad was about to happen, he looked back at Y/n and Mitchell's kid. Y/n was facing Bruce, standing in front of the kid.

Y/n rushed the kid and the mother away from the front of the church. She didn't know what was going on, but she wanted to help. She also didn't know where to go, so she just stood there, looking at Bruce confused and worried.

A car bursts through the church. Bruce runs and grabs Y/n, saving her from being crashed into. They rolled on the ground, stopping a few feet from where she once stood. Stunned by what was happening, Y/n stayed still laying on the ground.

Bruce got up, holding a hand out for her. She grabbed it, helping herself up. "You need to go," Bruce said, still holding onto the girls hand. Before Y/n could say anything in return, people were screaming at the person driving the car to get out.

Bruce and Y/n turn their attention to the car door opening and a man struggling to get out. Something was bolted around his neck, a bomb strapped to him. "Y/n, you need to leave." Bruce said again, this time a lot more serious. Y/n nodded, letting go of Bruce's hand and quickly exited the building.

~~~~

Y/n was safely at her home now, out of the funeral clothes, and was now laying down in her warm bath, rethinking the events that happened hours before. Everything confused her, but she knew it somehow was related to Batman. She then thought about Bruce Wayne.

She missed him, of course, praying he would reach out to her. She knew that it was unfair of her to break off their marriage but then expect him to come running back to her, but she knew he changed. She could tell by the way he spoke, the way he opened up to her, the way he looked at her.

As she thought about this, she heard her phone ping. She didn't think anything of it, ignoring it until she was out of the bath. As she wrapped herself in her towel, she picked up her phone.

Messages: Bruce Wayne Hey

Her eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. She reread the message, making sure she wasn't seeing things. She bit her lips, holding the phone, smiling. She opened her phone, clicking on the message to reply. "Hey" she wrote back. She wasn't sure what else to say, she thought for a moment.

After Bruce sent Y/n the text, he was praying to not mess up the second chance Y/n was giving him. He sat in his batcave, hovering over his phone, waiting for a reply. When his phone lit up, he immediately saw it. "Hey" It read. He picks up his phone, unlocking it and he starts typing, "You looked really beautiful today." But then he erased it, thinking it wasn't appropriate.

Seeing the 3 dots appear from Bruce's profile got her excited, but when they disappeared, she was confused. She put her phone down, getting dressed into her pajamas. Once she came back to her phone, there was no new messages from Bruce. Sighing, she typed something.

"Thank you for saving me, I didn't get to say it earlier." Bruce cracked a smile at this text from Y/n. He was happy that even though he didn't respond, she still texted back. "It's no problem." He wrote back.

"Can we meet up sometime tomorrow, to catch up?" Y/n sent. Bruce immediately replied, "Yeah, 11 at my place?" Y/n smiled, replying with "Yeah, I'll see you then."

Smiling at his phone, Bruce gets up and exits the batcave, making his way to Alfred. Bruce informs him about Y/n coming over, making Alfred ecstatic. He then scolds Bruce about the importance of not messing this up, making Bruce roll his eyes in annoyance. "I know, I'm not going to mess this up."

~~~~

Y/n walks into the Wayne manor, smiling at the guards at the entrance that recognize her, nodding their heads at her as she passed. She turned a corner, seeing Bruce waiting for her at the entrance of the elevator. Smiling, Y/n walks to him. His smile grew at the sight of her, his eyes longing for her once again.

"Hey," She says as they both walk into the elevator.

"Hey," He said, his eyes never leaving her. As the elevator door closed and starting moving up, silence fell between them.

Unsure if the silence was awkward or not, Y/n said with a joking voice, "So, what was that about yesterday?"

"Hm?" Bruce says for a moment before responding with a sigh, "Oh, it's a really long story." He brings a hand up to rub his eyes, which looked very tired.

"So, you're still doing the Batman stuff?" Y/n asks, looking up at him.

Bruce nods, adding, "After our," he pauses for a moment, "uh, divorce, I didn't know what to do with myself." He looks at her, unsure if bringing up the divorce was still a touchy subject or not.

"Yeah," she says, nodding and scratching the back of her neck, "I wanted to talk to you about that- the divorce."

As Bruce nods once more as the elevator doors open. He was unsure how the conversation would go, what she wanted to talk about, but he prayed for a good result.

Bruce paused for a moment, almost holding his hand out for Y/n to grab so he could lead her to the table like they did when they first started dating, but he couldn't. He takes a step out of the elevator and leads Y/n to the table that Alfred set up. He pulls out a chair, allowing Y/n to sit in it, and when she does, he pushed it in for her.

She barely blushed at this action, reminding herself that she can't do that. She sent a smile at him, watching as he sat down in his own seat across from her.

"So, um," She starts, not knowing how to start the conversation. Her head was down, avoiding eye contact. "I just wanted to tell you why I did it, I know I just left and we never got to talk through it,"

"I understand why you left," Y/n looked up, listening to him. "I was a terrible husband, I hate that it took us splitting up for me to realize that." It was now Bruce's turn to avoid eye contact as he spoke, "I'm truly sorry, for everything I put you through. And I know, a sorry is not even close to enough to what you deserve." He was looking down, feeling her eyes on him.

She leans over the table, placing her hand on his, causing him to look at her. "I know you're sorry, and I am sorry too. I made you choose between something you love doing and me, that was unfair of me to do."

"No, but I should have chose you," he pauses for a moment, looking into her eyes, "I want to choose you." His hand that was beneath hers flips so that their hand was resting in his palm.

Y/n looks down at the movement of his hand, then back up at him, registering his words. "And we'll have to work on that."

"Are you saying-"

"Yeah, we'll work on it," She says nodding, "work on us."

The End

A/n: Thank you so much for reading! Request if you have any!

[percyluvr]

helloooooo!!!! can i request a percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader headcanons?? it would be pretty interesting to see hera having a child tbh

thank you if you do 💛

percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader summary: hcs for percy with a daughter of hera

when he first met you he was kinda worried bc he has beef with hera

but he's also confused bc wasn't she not supposed to have kids??

he expected you to be just like your mom

and you lowkey were

but you were a bit less.. uptight

but at the same time, u cant really blame her, her husband literally cheats on her so much

BUT ANYWAYS

i think u'd be so caring to him and he would love it SO MUCH

since hera is the goddess of marriage and childbirth, u would lowk take care of him like hes ur son

but like not in a weird way

u just care ab him so much that u baby him all the time

since both of ur cabins are always empty except for each other, u have sleepovers all the time

u have a pretty close relationship w ur mom, esp because ur her only demigod kid

percy isnt really jealous per say, bc he's decently close w poseidon, but like

he wishes he was that close with him

hera visits u in ur dreams a LOT bc she just loves u a lot

zeus is mad but she dgaf cuz ur her only daughter

and only kid

so obviously she's protective

esp when u tell her that u and percy r dating

shes at camp the next day asking u to introduce her to him

which ur like "mom pls y'all have already met"

and shes like "yes, but never when he was ur bf"

so u just go along w it bc u love her

they're lowk beefing bc she doesnt want u to get hurt

but as time goes on she realizes how much percy loves u and cares abt u

and she thinks ur the cutest couple ever

she is ready for yall to get married bc shes gonna throw the most extravagant and perfect wedding

and shes so excited esp bc ur the only kid she's going to be able to do this for

have i mentioned that she loves u a lot?

ANYWAYS

yk how in like house of hades and i think chalice of the gods when percy looks at annabeth and is js like "i cant wait to marry her and have kids"

yeah, hes like that but 300000x

and he's so excited bc he knows that ur gonna be SUCH a good mom

people always think ur weak bc ur mom "lets herself get cheated on"

or whatever dumbass shit they be saying

but u prove them wrong

mothers r fr the most powerful people in the UNIVERSE

and ur basically a mother bc u take care of everyone at camp

ur always at the infirmary helping the apollo kids bc its just in ur nature to love taking care of people

and percy always comes in with even the smallest little injuries

and it just warms ur heart to know that he wants to come see u even when ur working

u take care of the little baby pegasi too omg

gn thats so cute

imagine if blackjack had a lil baby pegasi and u took care of it

and percy is just like

melting

ur so sweet to them even if theyre "just horses"

it makes him so excited to have kids w u

whenever u see a little kid

or like a younger camper

u always tell him that u cant wait to go to new rome uni and then get married and have kids w him

the two of u are just so excited for the future with each other fr

i just think the two of u would be taking care of the pegasi and u would fall asleep in the hay after staying up talking

big surprise for the kids that have riding lessons that morning...

yall werent embarrassed tho cuz u have no shame fr

well, u have shame

percy has none

not the point.

everyone at camp sorta sees u as a mother and they always come to u

lowk camp therapist

bc they NEED one real bad

but it doesnt bother u bc u love to help them

ur always trying to fix problems at camp

and its very upsetting for you when you cant, and percy is always there to comfort u

ur lowk a meddler like ur mom

but its okay bc ur just worried about ur friends

i think that u would maybe have some soothing powers kinda like a hypnos kid, where u can like calm people down or put them to sleep

i also think that percy would suffer from panic attacks after his nightmares

so after he has a nightmare, you're there and if you can't soothe him with your words you just use ur powers

u can't stand to see him like that

it just upsets you so much

percy is so grateful for ur powers, but hes even more grateful for you

i think ur a lot more relaxed than most people at camp

and u dont really see the point in doing dangerous things for fun

which is different for percy, but he really does like it

he likes that he can just go to you and ask to relax and ur always down for that

its a change of pace that is definitely welcome and necessary in his life

ur definitely more of a rational thinker than him, so u stop him from doing some pretty stupid things

but u would never stop him from having fun

or doing thing that are important to him

ur relationship is lowk the blue print

yall just take care of each other fr

and ur like an old married couple which u two get teased ab

but u dont care

cuz u cant wait to get married lol!

a/n: this was a vv interesting request to write and i honestly loved imagining what a child of hera would be like so thank u for the req!

[canthelpit0]

Silent

Pairing: Matt x reader

Wordcount: 1.8k +

Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…

Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc

(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)

I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.

But it’s been years now.

I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.

Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.

It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.

It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.

There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.

Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.

The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.

Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.

In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.

Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.

He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.

I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.

I’ve been watching everyone.

Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.

Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.

I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.

But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.

Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?

I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.

There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.

I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.

Her son is apparently mute too.

When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.

Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.

So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.

Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.

I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.

She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.

I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.

I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.

I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.

Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.

I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.

I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-

Suddenly I bump into someone.

I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-

I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.

“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.

“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.

I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.

So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.

It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.

I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.

He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.

“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.

I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.

I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.

He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.

I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.

Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.

“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.

I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.

Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.

Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.

I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.

“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.

I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.

His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.

Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.

He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.

I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.

“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.

He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.

“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.

And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?

The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.

So I nod.

I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.

And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…

Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.

We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.

“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.

I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.

I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.

Masterlist

A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life

[bat-mom-writer]

Impulses

Bruce Wayne(Husband) X Reader(Wife)

Summery: you can be very quick to act on your impulse, usually being done with a kind heart. But can sometimes lead to you and some others being hurt.

Note: Something tells me Bruce wouldn't go to therapy, but this isn't real so...

Rate: Loving Bruce, the very small almost of angst

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, tell me Bruce, are you happily married?"

"Of course."

"Then why are you here?"

"Well," Bruce pauses, thinking over his words carefully, "it's not exactly that simple."

The therapist's office was quiet, the kind of silence that felt like it was holding its breath. Bruce Wayne sat in a chair that was a little too small for his broad shoulders, his eyes darting to the clock on the wall. It was a simple room, with a few plants scattered around and a faint scent of lavender in the air, but it was the last place he ever thought he'd be. He was a man who dealt with Gotham's problems from the shadows, not one who talked about his own in a well-lit space with a box of tissues within arm's reach.

"How so?" the therapist asked again, her voice gentle but firm, bringing Bruce back to the present.

He sighed. "Well, my wife… she's incredible. She's kind and she's the glue that holds our family together."

The therapist nodded, her expression neutral. "But?"

Bruce leaned back, rubbing his temples. "But she's… impulsive. She does things without considering the consequences, especially when it comes to the boys."

The therapist made a note in her pad. "Could you give me an example?"

Bruce sighed heavily, his mind racing with instances. "Once we went hiking, and she found a baby wolf, injured and alone. She insisted on bringing it back to the manor to care for it herself. Most of my sons thought it would be a great idea—until we realized it had a pack out there looking for it, and suddenly we had a bunch of very unhappy wolves on our backs."

The therapist looked up, raising an eyebrow. "I see. And how did that situation resolve?"

Bruce chuckled, a bit nervously. "Let's just say there were a lot of stitches involved. And I haven't heard anyone wanting to go camping again ever since."

The therapist's eyes widened, but she remained calm. "It seems she has a heart of gold, but maybe a bit of an overactive sense of adventure."

Bruce nodded. "Exactly. And it's not just with animals. She once tried to organize a surprise street carnival in the middle of Gotham because she thought the city needed more joy. You can imagine the chaos that ensued with all the traffic rerouting and permits she didn't bother to get."

The therapist's pen stopped mid-stroke. "Ah, so her intentions are good, but the execution could use some work."

Bruce nodded emphatically. "You have no idea. She's the love of my life, but sometimes I worry she's going to get us all into trouble. The boys look up to her, especially Dick and Damian."

The therapist leaned in slightly. "How do Dick and Damian react to her impulsive nature?"

"Dick tries to be the voice of reason, but he's young and still learning the ropes of being a responsible older brother. And Damian," Bruce sighed, "he's more like me—he's intrigued by the chaos she creates, but he's also the one who ends up getting hurt when things go awry."

The therapist nodded understandingly. "It's natural for children to look up to their parents, especially when they see the love and good intentions behind their actions. But it's also important for them to learn about boundaries and the potential consequences of impulsivity. How does your wife react when you bring this up with her?"

Bruce leaned forward, his expression a mix of affection and exasperation. "She's… well, she's stubborn. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities, and she wants to experience all of them. I get that, I do. But we can't live our lives on the edge like that, especially with the kind of enemies I've made over the years."

The therapist nodded, her gaze thoughtful. "It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Wanting to keep your family safe and also allowing them the freedom to live their lives fully. How have you been managing this?"

Bruce's smile grew a bit wistful. "Well, my wife is also the lively part of our lives. Without her, the manor would be just a fortress, not a home. She brings laughter and light to every room she enters. She's the one who convinced me to let Tim build a skateboard ramp in the garage, and even though it's a hazard to my cars, I can't help but smile when I hear them all out there, having fun."

The therapist nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "It sounds like you appreciate her spirit, but it's important to establish boundaries to ensure everyone's safety. Have you tried discussing the potential dangers with her?"

Bruce leaned back, his eyes drifting to the floor. "I've tried," he admitted. "But she's… she's like a tornado of love and enthusiasm. It's hard to say no to her."

The therapist nodded, her expression understanding. "It's clear you care deeply for her and the boys. Perhaps it's time to find a way to channel that enthusiasm into safer outlets."

"I know," Bruce said, running a hand through his hair. "But she's so… so alive. It's like trying to cage a butterfly."

The therapist nodded. "It's not about caging her, Bruce. It's about guiding her. Teaching her and the boys to weigh risks and rewards. To channel their energy into something positive without endangering themselves or others."

Bruce sat in silence, contemplating her words. He knew she was right, but it was easier said than done when it came to his vibrant wife. Her zest for life was both infectious and overwhelming at times. He thought back to the street carnival she had organized. The look of joy on the citizens' faces as they played games and ate cotton candy was something he hadn't seen in Gotham in a long time.

"There not all bad," he murmured, a small smile playing on his lips. "Her impulses have led to some amazing moments, too."

"Like what?" the therapist prompted, her curiosity piqued.

Bruce's smile grew as he recalled a recent incident. "Last week, she found out about a fundraising event for an underfunded children's hospital. Without asking, she decided to host a masquerade ball at the manor. She convinced Alfred to help, and together they transformed the place into a fairy tale. The kids had the time of their lives, and we ended up raising a fortune for those kids."

The therapist returned his smile. "That does sound wonderful. It seems her spontaneity has its benefits."

Bruce nodded. "It does. But it's also a double-edged sword. I want to support her, but I also need to keep everyone safe."

The therapist leaned back in her chair. "Communication is key, Bruce. It's about expressing your concerns without squashing her spirit. Have you tried talking to her about how her impulsiveness affects you?"

Bruce sighed, his eyes reflecting the weight of his words. "I've tried, but she takes it personally. She thinks I'm trying to control her."

The therapist nodded, her expression empathetic. "It's a common misconception. Setting boundaries isn't about control; it's about care and safety. Have you framed it that way?"

Bruce furrowed his brow. "I'm not sure. I've usually approached it from the perspective of the danger it could pose to the boys."

"It's important to express your feelings," the therapist said. "Tell her how her actions affect you and why you worry. It might help her understand your perspective better."

Bruce nodded slowly, considering her advice. It was true; he hadn't shared his own fears with her, only the potential risks to the boys. Perhaps that was where he was going wrong.

"Thank you, doctor," he said, rising from his chair. "I'll think about what you've said."

The therapist stood and offered a warm smile. "Remember, Bruce, it's about balance. And sometimes, that means taking a risk to find it."

Bruce nodded, her words echoing in his mind as he left the office and stepped into the Gotham night. The city was alive with the pulse of its inhabitants, a stark contrast to the calmness he'd just left behind. His thoughts were racing, trying to find a way to bridge the gap between his need for security and his wife's boundless spirit.

As he drove back to Wayne Manor, the grandeur of the estate came into view, the gothic architecture a stark contrast to the chaos of the city beyond its gates. The manor was more than just a home; it was a bastion of hope in a city that desperately needed it. The lights were on in the windows, a warm glow that promised sanctuary from the cold outside.

When he walked in, the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. You was in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you pulled a tray out of the oven. You turned to him, your face lighting up with a smile that never failed to melt his heart. "Hi, honey! How was your day?"

Bruce took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knew he had to have. "It was… interesting," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "How about yours?"

"Oh, you know," you replied with a shrug, placing the cookies on a rack to cool. "Just the usual—keeping the boys out of trouble, planning the next big surprise for them." you winked at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Bruce felt a twinge of both fondness and dread. He knew that look all too well. It was the look you got when she had another harebrained scheme up your sleeve. He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into an embrace. "How about we talk about these surprises together from now on?"

You tilted your head back, your smile fading a bit. "What do you mean?"

Bruce took a deep breath. "I mean, I know you love surprising the boys, and I love that about you. But sometimes, your surprises have… unintended consequences. I want to be there to support you, but I also need to make sure everyone is safe."

You leaned back, looking up at him with a slightly defensive expression. "Not all of my surprises turn out bad," you said, your voice a bit softer than before.

Bruce felt his heart squeeze at the sight of you, flour smudged on your cheek and apron, looking so earnest. He gave a tight smile, trying to ease the tension. But his face was screaming, "Are you sure?"

You took a step back, "Okay, okay, maybe most of them," you conceded. "But the good ones make up for it, right?"

Bruce sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. "They do," he agreed. "But it's the potential for danger that I can't ignore. And not just for the boys, but for you too."

You rolled your eyes, brushing off the flour on your apron. "Me? I'm fine. I can handle myself."

Bruce's grip on your shoulders tightened slightly. "You know what I mean," he said, his voice serious. "How many times have you ended up in the hospital because of one of your… adventures?"

You winced, remembering the last time you had tried to rescue a cat stuck in a tree, only to end up with a broken arm and a bruised ego. "Okay, okay," you repeated, holding up your hands in surrender. "I get it. I can be a bit… much."

Bruce's expression softened, his eyes searching yours. "You're not 'much', you're amazing. I just don't want to lose you."

You took a deep breath, the weight of his words settling in. "I know," you said, your voice small. "But what about you? You're not much different, Bruce. Maybe even worse. You go out every night as Batman, risking your life."

He stepped back, his expression unreadable. "That's different," he said firmly. "That's for the city."

"Is it?" you asked, looking up at him with a hint of challenge in your eyes. "Or is it because you've convinced yourself that it's your duty? That you're the only one who can do it?"

Bruce's jaw tightened at your question. It was a fair point, one he'd wrestled with in the quiet moments of his life. He knew that his crusade as Batman was driven by his own fears and the need to keep the city that had taken his parents safe. But he also knew that the stakes were higher for him than they were for you.

"I've been trained for that," he said finally. "You… you have the biggest heart in the world, but sometimes you don't think about the risks."

You nodded, looking down at the cookies cooling on the rack. "I know," you murmured. "But it's just so hard to resist when I see something that could bring joy to people, especially the boys."

Bruce stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your cheek. "I know your heart's in the right place," he said. "But we can't keep playing Russian roulette with our lives, not when we have so much to lose. I don't want to lose you. Or see you get hurt. I'm just asking, please, consider the risks before you act. And come to me, talk to me, let's find a way to make this work."

You searched his eyes, the gravity of his words sinking in. You knew he wasn't trying to stifle you; he was just worried. "Okay," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "I'll try."

Bruce's expression relaxed a bit, his thumb brushing against your cheek. "Thank you," he said softly. "Now, how about we sit down and talk about what's been on your mind? Maybe we can come up with some ideas together."

You nodded, swiping a strand of hair from your forehead. "Alright, I'll finish up on the cookies and then we can talk. Until then, want to help? Just to make sure I don't hurt myself?"

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood. "Sure," he said, taking the spatula from your hand. "Let's do this together."

As you both worked side by side in the kitchen, the tension began to ease. You chatted about the different flavors of cookies and which ones the boys would like best, while Bruce carefully placed the finished ones on a plate. The rhythm of your conversation was soothing, and it reminded him of the first time he had met you—how your laugh had filled a room and made him feel alive again.

[heavyhitterheaux]

On Bended Knee

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: You and Jack go to a series of therapy sessions to talk about your marriage that you honestly feel in the back of your mind is going to lead to the two of you being separated and Jack is desperately trying for it not to happen

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Mentions of postpartum depression, death, and miscarriage

“So, what is bringing us in today?” Fatima, your therapist asked both you and Jack as the two of you were sitting at opposite ends of the couch in front of her.

Jack glanced over at you and you simply had your head resting on your arm as you looked straight ahead so he figured that he needed to be the one to speak first.

“We are at odds like we've never been before and I don't know what else to do. It seems like I take five steps forward and ten steps back when it comes to her. I love my wife and I can't see myself without her.” He quietly said as Fatima smiled at him and nodded. She then turned to you.

“Y/N? Would you agree with that?”

“To a certain extent, yes. But I reached my breaking point a long time ago.”

Hearing that made Jack’s heart drop.

“Tell me more.”

“The man who claims that he's my husband and sitting across from me is someone that I truly no longer recognize as far as some of his actions go. Because the Jack that I know wouldn't do those things in a million years.”

“Such as?”

“Making me feel that my thoughts and feelings are invalid. We've been together since we were fifteen years old, got married at 19, but something switched in 2022 when his fame went to an entire new level. Our relationship has been tested and I don't know if it's even worth saving at this point.”

Jack turned to look at you in disbelief because he couldn't believe that those words came out your mouth.

“Babe…”

“No. You begged me to come to therapy with you so you need to put your big boy pants on even if it's something that you don't want to hear. Because trying to talk to you at home is obviously not working. You asked for this so don't shy away now.” You told Jack as you finally looked at him. All he did was play with his wedding ring and nod before turning back to look at Fatima.

You and Jack had barely been speaking to one another and it seemed as if the arguments over little things were getting more and more frequent. You were sitting in the living room since you had just fed the triplets as Jack came and sat next to you.

You glanced over at him, but didn't speak as you turned back around to look at the TV. This was the first time you were able to have peace and quiet all day and the last thing you wanted was to argue with him again. Because at this point, you knew that the two of you were not on the same page.

“Baby?”

“What?” You said and it came out a little harsher than you intended.

“I don't want to keep fighting with you. We're on the same team.”

“Are we? Hadn't noticed since it doesn't seem like it.”

“Y/N, come on. You know we are.” He told you as he attempted to grab your hand. He was surprised when you didn't move away from him.

“Some of your actions state otherwise.”

“I want to fix this and I know you do too. I signed up for marriage counseling and we meet the therapist on Wednesday. I just…. We need to get on the same page if we want this marriage to last.”

You turned to look at him and simply sighed before crossing your arms over your chest.

“And if this doesn't work, then what?”

“Babe, that isn't an option.”

“And you didn't answer my question, Jackman. Tell me what will happen if it doesn't work?”

“I don't have an answer because I don't plan on that happening. We love each other and we’re going to get through this.”

“I'm not sure that I want to go.” You told him being completely honest.

“Can I ask why?”

“If you can't even listen to me when we're at home, what makes you think it'll be any different in therapy?”

“Y/N, you're shaking your head as Jack is talking. What are you thinking?”

“He remembers that a lot differently than I do. I told him not once, but multiple times that she made me uncomfortable, but he steadily ignored me. So much so that he actually asked her to be in his video for First Class.”

“But, you're in it, are you not?”

“Yes, only because I stopped what I was doing when I saw her post a picture of the both of them on Instagram and she was sitting in his lap.  He claimed that she took the pic so fast that he didn't even have time to react. I went to where they were shooting the video and told her to leave and made her delete the picture. Oh, and when I actually did fight her because this had been building up for months with her constantly harassing me, never not once did he ask me if I was okay. Instead he acted mean as hell towards me because the only thing he seemed to be concerned about was our reputation in the public eye and not my actual well-being. We were both at home for a few days after which ended in another argument and him leaving.”

“But you left out the part where you had talked to me the same day that it happened and said absolutely nothing and tried to hide it. I was in a whole different state when I found out and caught a flight to Atlanta to confront you about it because you had stopped answering your phone. There was no need to lie to me about that.”

“Yes there was because I knew you would lose your shit which you did when you came and saw me backstage before my show.”

“Because you could've gotten hurt!”

“Hmm, nice try. I think you meant damage your reputation because those words didn't even come out of your mouth when it happened.”

“Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean that I want any harm to come to you. You're my wife! Why would I want you to put yourself in a situation which could lead to you getting hurt? That's what I was mad about.”

“Wouldn't have had to be in that situation if you would have established boundaries with her from the beginning. I'm your wife. We share a last name. Not her.”

Therapy had been going steady for the first three weeks and Jack simply didn't know how to feel at this point. He wasn't able to read you as of lately and had it in the back of his mind that a divorce would be coming soon and you would be the one to ask for it. 

And that made him sick to his stomach.

When you were pregnant, it seems like everything was halted and the two of you put your issues to the side. But as soon as they were born and you had healed from it, everything had come back up to the surface. It also didn't help that Jack knew you were also going through postpartum depression.

It was one in the morning and he had gone for a drive after checking on you as well as the triplets and making sure all of you were okay. He didn't have an exact destination in mind, but he simply pulled out his phone and took a deep breath before dialing his mother’s number. He was absolutely desperate at this point.

Maggie picked up on the third ring and he could tell that she was still wide awake by all of the background noise which he assumed was the TV.

“Hey honey, everything okay?”

“No.” 

When Maggie heard how distressed her oldest child sounded she immediately grew concerned.

“What's going on? Are Y/N and the babies okay?”

“They're fine, but umm…” Jack trailed off as he struggled to say his next sentence.

“But what?”

“I honestly think deep down that Y/N is going to divorce me and I… can't live without her. I haven't had to do it in so long that I wouldn't even know where to start. She's the love of my life and the mother of my kids. I can't lose her.”

“What exactly makes you think that she will?”

“We're going to therapy but there's such a huge disconnect that I don't think we'll be able to fix. She didn't have high expectations going into it so…”

“Can I be honest?” Maggie asked and took a deep breath after doing so. However, Jack had a strong feeling that he already knew what she was about to say.

“You saw this coming, didn't you?” Jack asked as he turned onto Bardstown and was casually driving throughout the city.

“Yes from a mile away. I don't know what exactly happened, but 2022 was the start of the rift being made in your relationship with each other. And I've pulled you aside a few times and warned you that how you were acting wasn't a good portrayal of the person I raised you to be or the husband that I know you are towards Y/N. That girl basically worships the ground you walk on and you used to do the same thing. The fame got to you and you were starting to achieve your goals and she was supportive of you. You didn't give her the same support in return and now look where you two are.”

“What do I do to fix this? I need her to forgive me.”

“Then you need to remind her of how much you love and care about her. Because your actions haven't reflected that you do.”

“And what if that doesn't work?”

“Then you'll be signing divorce papers.” 

“Definitely can't forget how he thought I was cheating on him and he actually followed me to see what I was doing.”

“I apologized for that. I was paranoid. I had been gone a lot and missed you.”

“What did Y/N do to make you think that she was cheating?” Fatima asked Jack as he once again started to play with his wedding ring.

“Not spending time with me like she said she would when I finally got back home and she would lie about where she was going so I followed her.”

“And what came of that?”

“She was planning a surprise party for me because First Class had done so well. And she then explained who every single person was that she had met up with. She was just trying to keep it a secret as best as she could. But the day of the party unbeknownst to me of course, I confronted her about it and the look she gave me was utter disbelief and I then knew that I had fucked up. She did show up eventually to the party and then went on her festival run and left that same night.”

“Y/N, is that how you remember it?”

“Yes, I just couldn't fathom that he thought that I would ever want to do something to hurt our marriage. I haven't looked another man's way since we started dating and I still don't. He's everything that I ever wanted and more so what would be the point of that? It just really hurt me. I have this man's name tattooed on my body for everyone to see so why would I do that?”

“I can tell by the way you're talking about it that it still hurts you.”

“It does and the thing is that I am always putting everyone else's needs before my own. I have a big heart and that has always been the case. But I feel that Jack used that to his advantage.”

“How so?”

“If he called and said that he needed me, everything else would be forgotten at that moment. It doesn't matter anymore and we can go back to it once I go and make sure he’s okay. It didn't matter that I was trying to establish a career of my own. If my baby needed me, nothing was going to stop me from getting to him. It didn't matter how big or small the issue was and he knew that.”

“Hmm, Jack, what are your thoughts on that?”

“Now that she said it out loud, I can admit to taking advantage of her as horrible as that sounds. I never want to do that to my wife. I would call her because I know that out of anyone at the end of the day she has my back and my best interest. However, I also should have taken into consideration what she was trying to do for her career at that time because I was the one who pushed her to do it and make a name for herself.” 

“And I still put people's needs before my own. It's something that I have to learn to stop doing. That also takes me back to the whole Anitta thing.”

“What about her?”

“She threatened to release a portion of our sex tape in May and Jack didn't even tell me until December. That's when I called off the wedding, when I found out he lied to me.”

“Jack, why didn't you tell her?”

“I thought I could handle it on my own and simply make it go away. I wanted to shield her from that since a lot had happened between the two of them already. Not the smartest choice since it led to us not doing our big wedding for our five year anniversary.”

“And then I went on tour and found out I was pregnant…. With triplets.”

“And told me in a text message because we really weren't talking during that time.”

Urban glanced at you as you were feeding Autumn and called your name to get your attention. He had come over to check on you because you hadn't been acting like yourself and wanted to see if there was anything that he could do to make it better.

“Lil Bit.”

“Yes?” You answered as you looked up at him.

“Are you and Jack okay?”

“Depends on what your definition of okay is.”

“I… the two of you just seem sad and out of it lately.” Seeing his best friends’ marriage crumble before his eyes was not on this year's bingo card.

“Well we started going to therapy and Jack practically had to beg me to go. I don't know, Urban. I love him and we all know that's true. But the question is if our marriage is worth saving at this point?”

“Only the two of you are going to be able to answer that question at this point. I can't answer that for either of you. But I know that Jack loves you all the same and that he's doing everything he can to show you that he deserves another chance to get this right. He doesn't want to lose you.” Urban told you as you simply nodded and adjusted Autumn in your arms.

“My thing is that it should have never come to this.”

“I agree, but what's done is done and the only thing that the two of you can do is move forward. The triplets deserve to see a happy marriage between their parents and know what real love looks like.”

As soon as those words left Urban's mouth, it got you thinking that maybe he was right. You honestly couldn't see yourself with anyone except him despite all the two of you had gone through that year.

“But so much has happened and I… just don't know anymore.”

“You know that you love him. I know that loving someone isn't the only thing you need in order to make it work but it's a good start.”

“As the two of you sit in front of me, I've heard the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to your marriage, but I know one thing for certain. The two of you undeniably love each other despite everything that has happened. Yes, there were hardships and plenty of ups and downs, but Y/N, every time you even talk Jack lights up and looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. Usually in this room, it ends up being the complete opposite because by the time that couples get to me they are too far gone.”

She glanced at both of you and it looked as if you wanted to say something.

“Y/N? What's on your mind?”

“Um, I was just thinking that because of everything that happened, I wanted to separate from him for a while.”

Jack didn't dare let you see it, but tears had pricked his eyes.

“But, I have decided not to. If he's doing all of this and trying to put the effort in then I guess I can give him another chance. Because when I had suggested going to therapy and doing things to hopefully help us repair the relationship, he just waved me off. I feel as though this was too little too late but…”

“Y/N, it wasn’t too late because the two of you are sitting in front of me. That goes to show me despite it all, deep down you still had hope for your marriage too.”

“I have three kids to think about.”

“No, that's not it. Even though they deserve to see what love and happiness looks like, you also deserve the same thing. Jack, how does that make you feel hearing that Y/N wanted to separate from you?”

“It hurts. I've been in love with her since I first laid eyes on her. I know I've messed up and I can understand why she feels that way. I wasn't treating her how she deserved to be treated and it shouldn't have taken me almost losing her to realize that. She died in front of me not once, but twice. But I had already made it up in my mind that if I became a widow, there was no way in hell that I was marrying someone else.”

“And I'm not totally innocent either, but at one point I was damn near walking on eggshells and I shouldn't have to do that in my marriage. And you could have married someone else. I would not want you to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

“No, because I would always compare her to you and when it comes to you, no one comes close.” Jack said as he turned to you and took your hand in his.

“Besides, I was also scared that you were probably going to haunt me if I did.” He told you and a small smile broke out on your face. 

“So with that being said, I have homework for the two of you. If you want to start to repair this marriage and make it work, start dating each other again. It seems like ever since the triplets have been born that the two of you actually haven't spent time with each other with just the two of you. Let me know how this goes and I honestly can't wait to hear about it.”

The night was winding down at the Kentucky State Fair as you and Jack were sharing a funnel cake piled high with powdered sugar and strawberries. The two of you rode so many different things and decided that it was time for food before it was closing time. A few people had asked you and Jack for pictures, but for the most part they were keeping their distance and you almost felt normal. You guess it was the fact that they saw the two of you out and about so often. 

As the two of you were eating, you looked at Jack and giggled, noticing that he had powdered sugar on his nose.

“What? Why are you laughing at me?” He asked as he pinched your cheek.

“You have powdered sugar on your nose.” You told him as you wiped it off and then kissed the tip of it making him smile.

“Did you want anything else before we leave?” He asked and your eyes lit up as you looked towards the pigs that were across from the two of you. Jack followed your gaze and his eyes went wide.

“Baby, NO.”

“But….”

“I meant food wise! We have two pigs already! And the ones over there are huge! They're bigger than me!”

“Exaggerating much? Can't I just look!? Piggy Smalls and Pork Chop need a sibling.”

“They have one in the house already as in the bacon I ate this morning.” Jack replied as he began laughing.

“JACKMAN!”

“You can look from here. Now didn't you say you wanted fried oreos?”

“Yes, but you're forgetting something.”

“What's that babe?” He asked as he fed you the last of the funnel cake and made sure to get all of the powdered sugar off of your face. 

“You haven't won me a stuffed animal yet.”

“Let’s do it then. Which stuffed animal do you want?”

“The pig since you won't let me buy another one.”

“The two of you are smiling, so I take that as a good sign.” Fatima said as she looked at you and Jack and she that the two of you were basically sitting on top of each other and nodded.

“So, the dates went well?”

“Yes, we went bowling, he took me to the state fair, and we went to Vincezo's. We also had a cooking date where we made pasta from scratch. Surprised that Jack lived to tell the tale after that one.”

“HEY! I thought I did pretty good!”

“I mean it did end up being edible so I guess.” You told him as you laughed and he scrunched up his nose.

“We've come a long way. The two of you came to me about six months ago and Y/N was ready to call it quits. And now look at the two of you. Communicating how you should and taking the time out for each other. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you two and your well being gets put on the back burner. As of now, we can continue these sessions if the two of you want, but I truly don't see a need.”

“Oh, there was another thing.” Jack started to say and Fatima looked at him to continue.

“I played her ‘Down on Bended Knee’ because I feel that it summed up the point that we were at in our relationship. I was desperate and willing to do anything for her to forgive me and make her see that she is still the only person that I want to do life with.

“That’s an amazing song choice. I know you were at a loss. Dealing with her dying in front of you, the birth of the triplets and the possibility of losing your only son, the miscarriage, Y/N working her way through postpartum depression and that isn't even all of it. But the two of you pushed through all of it with the undying love that you share between each other and I'm so proud of the both of you.”

“Now, I feel like I can finally get the big wedding that I always wanted.” You said confidently as you twirled your wedding ring around your finger not knowing that Jack had already started planning it in the back of his mind.

Jack noticed how you were looking at him as the two of you were laughing on your first date night in a while since the two of you had been so busy with everything going on around you. The triplets were with Urban and the two of you had finally finished going to marriage counseling, however, Fatima told the two of you to reach out whenever you needed her no matter how big or small. 

The two of you were still seeing your regular therapists and it was helping you communicate better with one another to set up to have a positive household environment for the triplets.

“Why are you looking at me like that baby girl?” Jack asked as he stole a sip of your iced tea and then slid it back across the table.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy.” You said while smiling back at him.

“Why, is it because I rearranged your guts this morning or? I mean I can do it again once we leave here too, it’s not a problem. Just say the word.”

“Jackman! Shut up!” You responded and continued to laugh.

“What? I was just asking.” Jack said as he shrugged.

“You want me to be honest?” You said while starting to play with the fabric at the bottom of your dress.

“Of course I want you to be honest with me. That’s all I ever want.”

“I’m trying to think of the best way to describe it.”

“Take your time, sweetheart. We have all night.”

“Loving you feels lighter.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked as he was trying to understand what you were saying.

“I just feel that before with all that we were going through, I felt a heaviness I guess I should say. Every day I woke up not knowing if our marriage was going to survive and I hated having that feeling. I wanted for us to be okay again.”

“And now we finally are. And I’m thankful that you gave us another chance.”

“I mean you got me fucked up if you thought you were getting rid of me that easily. Been together since we were fifteen and love like that doesn’t go away overnight.”

“I never want to get rid of you, you know me better than that. If anything, my love for you continues to grow every single day. It doesn’t matter if we have a bad day or not. It’s just knowing that I have you by my side makes it all worth it because I know we’ll do anything for each other and make sure that the other is okay. No matter how big or small the issues might be.”

“Okay that will be the second time you made me cry today.” You said as you could feel the tears in the corners of your eyes.

“Don’t cry, baby! I’m just being honest. I honestly don’t think there’s enough words in any language on earth that can describe how much I love you and care about you."

"Yep, now I'm crying." You said through your tears and Jack immediately grabbed your left hand to kiss the back of it as he played with your wedding ring.

"Putting this ring on your finger was the best thing I've ever done and you have my heart. Always."

[mauvecherie-writes]

the kaleidoscope theory: l.hamilton.

• pairing: lewis hamilton x black!oc kalani halloway

• chapter warnings: none

• w.c: 3.8K

• ru’s 💌: First thing first, I want to apologise for how long it took to post this. With school and placement taking up a lot of my time, amongst other distractions and my mental health just not being the best for a while, writing has not been my main priority, and I am trying to make up for that now. Updates will be slow, but they won’t be non-existent. Please don’t forget to like, comment and re-blog.

• tip: kofi | paypal

series masterlist

CHAPTER ONE

PRESENT DAY

“ARE you sure that you want to keep doing this with him Lani? Like I love you and I’ll always be in your corner, but I have to agree with your therapist here. What are you gaining from continuing to sleep with Malik?”

The bluntness of the question almost knocked the wind out of Kalani’s lungs. Over the decades of their friendship, she had come to know that Julian did not pull any punches when it came to honesty. It should not have shocked her that her best friend would react like this to the revelation of such news. Maybe it was the exasperation and disappointment that she picked up in his tone that made Kalani want to shrivel into herself from shame.

“Lani!” His voice boomed through the car speaker, breaking her train of thought. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.” She mumbled as her hands tightened around the stirring wheel.

“Well, are you going to answer my question or not?”

“It was a moment of weakness okay!” She exclaimed, finally admitting it to herself and to her best friend. “There was always an excuse to get me alone. To discuss the divorce or something about the kids. And he’d just … he would charm me, and I would be reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place then I’d give in.”

“Tuh.” Julian scoffed. “Talk of the divorce like he’s not trying to distract you from the fact that he has not signed those papers.” He added, the truth causing her shoulder to sag as she leaned back into her seat.

“I know.”

“Baby, I’m not trying to make you upset —.” He sighed, speaking in a much tender tone. But it was too late. The shame that had been brewing in her stomach for so long had bubbled back up her throat.

“I just need you to really think about this. It has been two years since you have asked for the divorce, Malik keeps stalling signing the papers, under the guise of trying to make it work. But we all know that he is still with that bitch. Like he can’t have his cake and eat it too. He doesn’t have any regard for who he’s hurting and that is you and the kids. I need you to be better than your weakness for him. It’s not fair.”

His words were hurtful to hear but Kalani could not argue against them because she knew that they were true. That is why she had decided to begin therapy. She had not slept with Malik in over six months since she had started her therapy session. This round, Kalani had finally shared the truth that she had on tinted with intimacy with her ex-husband despite the separation.

“I KNOW.” Kalani sniffed as her tears threatened to spill over. The tremble in her voice could not be hidden and Julian picked up on it.

“Lani, listen-.”

“Hey, so um — I gotta go. I need to pick up Princess from my aunt’s place.” Kalani quickly spoke out as she rounded the corner into a residential street. “Talk later.”

She did not wait for him to respond as she ended the phone call. Kalani took a deep breath as she put the car into an empty parking spot. She continued to sulk in her seat as the heaviness in her chest had returned. Everything that Julian had said to her were all things that she knew and had known from the first time, she had slept with him after they split.

Stuck in the moment, every time they had done the deed had felt good. In some way, it had felt like she had been reclaiming her power. It felt good to know that in some way, her ex still wanted her. In Kalani’s need to be desired by the man that she was married to for nearly twenty years, she had momentarily lost herself and had forgotten what was important.

The happiness of her children.

So Kalani took in a deep breath and exhaled, wiped away her tears and re-applied her lip gloss. She practised her smile in the rear-view mirror until she was satisfied with a more approachable facial expression. She got out of her car and fixed the legs of her pantsuit before she walked a short distance on the pathway and onto the property.

It did not take any time from her opening the small front gate for the front door to be opened.

“Mummy!” The excited shriek of her young daughter sounded through the air as her little feet carried her as fast as they could towards her. Kalani immediately dent down to her level and opened her arms, waiting for her daughter. She dived into her arms and Kalani could just feel all of that heaviness began to lift away from her heart. As her daughter squeezed her little around her neck, Kalani immediately felt better.

“Hi, my Princess!” She smiled at Tiara. Princess’s little giggles were what she got in response as she pulled back to look into her mother’s eyes.

“I missed you so much, Mummy.”

“I missed you too! Did you enjoy school and time with Auntie Angie?”

“Mhm!” Tiara nodded her head as she played with Kalani’s earrings. “Today, I learnt what a doing word is! And then Auntie Angie baked me a banana cake.”

“The cake is for all of you, not just you baby.” Aunt Angela spoke from behind Tiara which caused Kalani to chuckle as a frown appeared on her little girl’s face.

“Emi doesn’t like banana cake as much as I do!” Tiara exclaimed.

“I know baby. But can we at least save a piece for brother first?”

“Okay.” Her small voice of defeat made Kalani’s heart swoon. She cradled her daughter’s head to her chest as she walked towards the door where Angela had been standing with Tiara’s belongings and the wrapped up banana cake.

“Hi sweetie.” Angela had greeted her as she awkwardly hugged Kalani.

“Hi Auntie.” She replied. It was like she could feel the love outpouring from the embrace. And it took all of her strength to not break down then and there.

“You okay?” Angela asked her. Kalani softly nodded her head, not trusting her words in that moment. She took a deep breath before offering a smile of re-assurance.

“Just need my baby.” Kalani replied. “Thank you for looking after her today.”

“You never have to thank me for that. I love Princess and I love spending time with her.”

After a couple of more minutes of casual conversation, Kalani and Tiara said their goodbyes and then left her aunt’s home. On the journey to pick up Emil, she sang along to the current kid bops that Tiara was currently enjoying. Her daughter filled the car with chatter about what her day at school was and repeated stories of previous adventures. Kalani did not mind at all. Hearing her daughter talk was far more enjoyable than being left with the chaos that was her thoughts.

~

When they had arrived at the local sports and leisure centre, Kalani noticed that by the outdoor astroturf, there was a larger crowd than there should be for a practice on an early Wednesday evening . She walked hand in hand with Tiara towards the grounds and smiled when she noticed the crowds full of young and old cheering on.

No matter how much Emil had tried to teach her, there were still aspects of the game of football that she would never understand. However, that never changed how much Kalani cheered on Emil and supported him. She knew that he had fallen in love with football due to Malik’s love for the sport, his passion came from within, and Emil had the talent to match. If Emil was willing to play, then Kalani was going to do everything that she could to make sure that he continued to play to his greatest heights.

From where Kalani stood, she could tell that it was an intense game for a practise but neither the Red nor Green sides seemed to care. When Emil touched the ball, he sprinted across the field with incredible of the ball and passing by the red players who were trying to defend. Emil then passed the ball to another green player who was open. This player then quickly shot the ball into the net, scoring the winning goal.

The crowd, including Kalani and Tiara cheered for the green shirts.

The game came to an end and with the crowds beginning to disperse, Tiara shot away from Kalani’s side and ran towards his older brother as she screamed his name. She smiled as she watched Emil pick up his little sister and throw her into the air, catch her and then spin her around.

As she proudly watched the moment, she caught a growing crowd from the corner of her eye. She noticed a man standing in the middle with the biggest smile on his face as he tried to greet every one that was surrounding him. That bright smile with the small tooth gap was the first thing that caught her attention. His twisted strands were in a ponytail, but his sides and beard were nicely trimmed in a way that brought attention to his chiselled facial features. Kalani’s eyes travelled to his large and muscular tatted arms that even with his bronzed, umber complexion, the design of the tattooed sleeves stood out. He was dressed simply, in a black, sleeveless knitted vest and what looked like black trousers. Kalani had spent too much time staring at him for her to notice that his jewellery was expensive and some of it was probably custom made.

As if picking up on her inquisitive eyes, the man looked up and stared right at her. She had never seen such an intense yet sincere pair of eyes that were the smoothest of chocolate brown. Kalani bit her lip in embarrassment at being caught looking when he smiled at her. She quickly averted her gaze to her children, who were walking towards her and tried not to think about why the stranger felt vaguely familiar.

“Hi Mum.” Emil greeted her as he placed Tiara down on her feet before reaching towards her and giving her a sideways hug. Kalani reciprocated the hg and patted his sweat drenched curls.

“Hi baby, you were great out there.” She complimented him which caused him to grin.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her.

“Any particular reason why you guys were playing like it was the finals of the Premier League?”

“Oh! The owner of the centre is here, and we just wanted to impress him I guess.”

“You were out there acting like he’s like a talent scout.” Kalani chuckled.

“He might as well be. He used to be a sportsperson, so he knows a lot of people.”

“Like Mbappa right?”

“Mbappé, Mum. Mbappé.” Emil corrected her with a roll to his eyes.

“Well, whatever his name is.” Kalani shrugged her shoulders and then picked Tiara into her arms. “Anyway, go get your stuff. We need to be home before 8:30.”

For a fraction of a moment, she saw her son’s gleeful demeanour slip. He nodded his head and then jogged away. Kalani watched as he stopped and talked to the same man that she had made eye contact with. The joy in his face was back once more and it eased the tension within her. She was sending them to their fathers’ for the weekend as she needed some time to herself to re-charge before she embarked on a large project at work.

However, Emil had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the man that he had once idolised. Emil confessed to enduring the visit for the sake of Tiara, who was still trying to adjust to the separation.

When he came back, they all hurdled into the car and they drove back home, not before stopping for a takeaway pizza collection.

After they had arrived back at their home, Kalani rushed her children to take their evening showers before preparing their bags.

Kalani stayed downstairs as she prepared their dinner. Alongside the pizza, she made a simple arugula salad with cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and a balsamic dressing. Once she had set the table and could finally take a sip of her white wine.

She dreaded the weekends when her children were away. Because it forced her to think. It forced her evaluate every single decision that led to this very moment that she was currently residing in.

Her hatred for Malik increased.

Memories of their past floated in front of her. Her and Malik dancing around the kitchen as they cooked whilst Emil set the kitchen table and Tiara narrating stories from her vivid imagination.

They were so happy.

They were so in love.

Where in the fuck did he ever find the time to cheat on her? She wondered.

That was a question that she never got an answer to. And it was a question, she was afraid of what the answer may be. It just was not something that she was ready to confront. Kalani was left to deal with all of that harbouring anger all alone.

“Mummy look! Me and Emi are matching!” Tiara rushed rushed down the stairs with Emil in tow. When Kalani turned her head towards their direction, a laughter full of elation burst from her when she noted that the duo were indeed matching. Tiara was dressed in a hot pink Nike tracksuit that was a contrast to Emil’s grey one.

“She wasn’t going to wear anything else.” Emil commented as they entered the large kitchen area, approaching the sink to wash their hands.

“That’s okay. Princess just wants to be like her big brother huh.” Kalani smiled as she smoothed her daughter’s hair.

“Yep!” Tiara gave them her dazzling smile. “Except, I don’t like football, and he doesn’t like banana cake!” The little girl stated before her focus shifted to the slices of banana cake on the table. “Ooouuu caaaakkee.”

“Not so fast, young lady!” Kalani spoke up which stopped Tiara in her tracks. “Can you eat some pizza first before the cake?”

“Okay, Mummy.” She pouted as she moved to sit down in her chair by the table. Emil shook his his head as he plated a slice of pizza for himself before sitting down.

They sat in silence as they ate their food, but Kalani could tell from her son’s solemn expression that something was bothering him.

“You okay baby?” She asked him as a worried expression marked her face.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He offered her a smile that she didn’t believe.

“You sure? You know that you can always talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just -.” Emil stopped talking before he let out a sigh. He then turned his attention to Tiara who was focused on trying to do a cheese pull. “I’m not ready to talk about it.” He concluded.

Kalani swallowed as she tried to not be disappointed with his response. Outside of the pure anger that was palpable whenever his father was mentioned, Emil had concealed his emotions about the divorce from her, always giving her that same answer of not being ready to talk. She had offered for him to go to therapy but he refused, saying that he did not need it.

“I caught him cheating Mum, not killing somebody.” He had said to her after the therapy suggestion. She dropped it then, however as her sessions continued, the more she wanted to push for Emil to go. But she was not going to force his hand. He’d go when he was ready.

“How’s this? When you come back, I’ll take the day off work and break you out of school and we do whatever you want. Just the two of us.”

“I’d like that.” Emil replied as a small smile returned to his face. Kalani reached over and softly pinched his cheek.

“That’s my boy.” She wicked at him.

They finished dinner in a much better mood with Emil updating her on his coming football schedule so that she could make time for it in her diary. And it wasn’t long after they had cleared the table did the doorbell ring.

Kalani glanced over to the clock on the wall. It was 8:40pm.

A cloud of tension suddenly covered the serenity of their home as she realised who was at the front door. Kalani looked at her son, who was already moving to collect Tiara from her position in her play area by the living room.

“Give me five minutes, I need to talk to your father about something.” She said to him. Emil nodded his head.

“Princess come on, gotta make sure that you have all of your toys ready.” He said before picking her up and giving her a piggy-back ride up the stairs which caused her to squeal with each step.

Kalani mentally prepared herself as she dried her hands with a hand towel before she headed to the door.

With one more pep talk, she swung the door open and met her ex-husband with a close-lipped smile with her body blocking the entrance.

Standing shy of 6 foot 2 inches with a rich, tawny complexion, a shaved head and trimmed goatee – Malik was a physically handsome man. At forty-three, he kept himself fit, had an impeccable wardrobe (that she introduced him to) and a gorgeous smile that her daughter inherited. Full lips with slick words that could charm the pants off a recluse. She would know, they’d been working on her for close to two decades.

“Hi Lani.” He smiled down at her.

“Hi Malik.” Her tone was curt, which caused his cheeky expression to slip by minor fraction, but she caught it.

“How are you?” He asked. “You look beautiful as ever.” He complimented her, trying to work his charm as he had done so many times before.

It wasn’t going to work this time.

“Thanks.” She narrowed her eyes before she moved to step outside. She drew the door close and left it slightly agar.

“I need to talk to talk to you about something.”

“Are the kids okay?” He worried.

“They’re as fine as they can be. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

“Then what?”

“When are you going to sign the papers, Malik? You’ve been putting them off for far too long now.”

“What do you mean sign?” He frowned in confusion. “I thought that we were taking this time to figure things out.”

“What things?!” Kalani sternly exclaimed in a hushed voice. “You refused couple’s counselling. Emil doesn’t want therapy and wont talk to me about it. Tiara thinks you’re working on a big project at work because she doesn’t understand that we’re separated.” As the words spat out of her mouth, the angrier she became. “Let’s not fucking forget, that little girlfriend of yours is still around and you thought that I didn’t know about it.”

“She’s not Kalani!” Malik quickly tried to shut down her accusation.

“Oh please!” She scoffed as she looked at him up and down in disgust. “Her perfume is lingering on you right now. I should know, I was washing it off for years!” She hissed.

Kalani watched as Malik tried to sniff his clothes and that disgusted her even more as she could see the gears in his mind churning up an excuse.

“Listen, it’s not like that.” He began to say.

“I don’t give a shit what it’s like. I want those divorce paper signed and delivered to my office by Monday. If not then no more nice Kalani, I’ve put up with your shit for too long.”

Without giving Malik a chance to reply, she opened the door just as she picked up on the patter of feet rushing down the stairs. Tiara zoomed past her and dove into her father’s legs, hugging them.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” She chanted, bouncing with excitement. Malik picked her up into his arms and gave him one of his practised smiles as he peppered her face with kisses.

“My gorgeous girl! You’re getting so big!” He said which caused Tiara to grin.

“Look! My tooth fell out and the tooth fairy gave me one pound and Mummy told me to add it to my piggy bank!”

“Oh, that’s so awesome Princess!”

“When all my teeth fall out, I’m gonna be rich!”

“Oh, I bet!” Malik tickled her sides which caused another high-pitched squeal to leave Tiara. In all of her rage, it was the joy of her daughter that mattered to her. Emil trotted to her side, holding their weekend bags.

“You got everything baby?” She asked him. He nodded his head.

She hated having to send him with his father, but she did not trust Malik to care for Tiara without Emil’s assistance. She brought in her son for a tight hug and kissed the side of his head. “It’s just two days and you’ll be back.”

Emil sighed at those words before nodding his head. “Bye Mum.” He mumbled before he kissed her cheek and walked past Malik without acknowledging him. She could see that Malik was trying to not let that get to him but kept a brave face for Tiara. It may be horrible to admit but it felt nice to know that there was one more person who hated his guts the way she did.

‘Right, Princess, you’re going to be on our best behaviour for your father, okay?” Kalani said to Tiara.

“Mhm.” Tiara nodded her head before Kalani placed a kiss on her forehead.

“We’ll talk about what we talked about later.” Malik glared at her.

“Unless it’s about that signature, then we have nothing to talk about.” She glared back.

Kalani waved goodbye to her children as Malik drove away. Once she shut her front door, she let out the biggest sigh of relief as her body relaxed. She had not realised just how tense she had been in the minutes Malik was here.

It had felt like hours.

With her body on autopilot, Kalani finished cleaning up the kitchen and packing away Tiara’s toys before she grabbed her bottles of wine, forgoing the glass and dragged her body up the stairs to her bedroom. As she prepared for her evening bath, she put her favourite playlist on and danced to the music as she stripped down to her bathing suit.

Once her tub was full of hot water and bubbles, she sank down, laying down her head on the towel. She took a large gulp of her wine and get the bottle down.

With only the sultry voice of Sadé as solace, Kalani let her walls down and cried to her hearts content.

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @saturnville @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @chaneajoyyy @emjayewrites @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @laneywrld @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew @henneseyhoe @perfecttrashface @alianovnaromanovanatalia @leilaxaliel @hotfudgeslug @iamryanl @pickingupmymercedes @eleetalks @ambs-06 @annisassintchaska @boujiestpoet @nayaesworld @nat-lh-44

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Sins of the Family

Part 3 of Family and Pawns

Warnings: car accident, mention of death and grief, kidnapping, implied sexual assault, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, mention of past sexual assault, death, usage of a fire arm, angst with a happy ending, everyone needs a hug and no one is okay

Note: This is maybe the last story of this AU unless I get a request for another part.

Word Count: 10k (I don't want to talk about how long this)

“Cooper!” You shirked as the eldest Barton shot you with a water gun. It was an all out water war between you, Tommy, and Billy against the three Bartons plus Kate and Yelena. The twins thought it was unfair that the two Avengers were on the same time but the Black Widow has to remind them that they were enhanced, they did it so the teams would be more even. Speaking of your brother, Tommy ran behind Cooper and dumped a bucket of water on him. Before the eldest Barton could turn around, he was gone.

“Hey!” He whipped the water out of his eyes. “I thought we said no powers.” Tommy appeared next to you.

“That’s what you get for targeting our sister,” he held up his fist and you pumped it against his.

“Kids, lunch is ready.” Laura called out. You liked Iowa. It was quiet, peacefully, and the Bartons were welcoming. You sat next to Nate with a towel wrapped around your shoulders. Natasha warned you that the youngest Barton would probably be quiet, still processing the death of his father.

“So, what do you want to do after we eat?” You asked. He shrugged, biting into his hot dog. It was just you and the young boy at the table while everyone was pilling food onto their plate. “Can I tell you a secret?” You whispered to him. Nate slowly nodded his head. “It’s okay to be happy and still miss you.” You saw his little body tense up but he still refused to look at you. “It’s okay to be angry with him,” you continued. “And still love him.” A small whimper left his mouth and your heart broke for him. You wished you could take away all of his pain. You would take it all away if you could.

“It’s okay to be angry with Nat and be glad she’s alive because he is no longer here.” It was like the dame broke. You saw his body shake as quiet tear fell down his cheeks. You panicked, body frozen as he dropped his hot dog and climbed onto your lap. His face pushed against your damp shirt and you felt his tears. You glanced up and saw Laura, wide eyes and about to walk over to her emotionally distraught son but you held up her hand to stop her. “I’m going to pick up. Okay, buddy?” He tightened his grip on you. You stood up from the table, your towel fell to the ground, and you walked over to the swing that was handing from the tree.

This was what he needed. Someone to let himself cry without adding to their own grief. So you let him cry against you as you pushed yourself on the swing. “I’m sorry,” he said once his tears stopped. You forced him to look at you. There was snot running down his nose and his cheeks were blotchy.

“Hey, little man, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay for your feelings to be all over the place but we are here for you. Whatever you need,” he nodded and rested his head back on your chest.

“Does it get easier?” That was the million dollar question. You met an older lady while you took a walk during your lunch. She asked about your family not knowing the truth. While she learned about your parents, she told you about her late husband. You asked her the same question. She told you a metaphor that her therapist told her. Your grief was like a red button instead a box with a ball that rolled around. Since the grief was newer the ball would hit the button all the time, no matter what you were doing your grief was powerful. You felt it in everything you did.

Over time, the box got bigger and the grief stayed the same size but it wouldn’t hit the button all the time. You sighed, kissing the crown of his head. “Yeah,” you whispered. “It gets easier.”

*

“Remember,” Wanda said, glancing at you and the twins. “Billy, you need to bring in your permission slip. Tommy, we have to go to the mall and get you new shoes,” the twins nodded their heads. “And you have a meeting with the home school agency. Did you finish your essay?” You glanced over the book you were reading. The trip to Iowa was done and it was time to head back to reality which meant starting home school. The couple asked if you wanted to attend another school but the incident with Henry and Coach Griffo made you lose faith in the schooling system. Home school was the best option for you and they agreed.

“I finished it before we left for Iowa.”

“Atta girl,” Natasha winked at you from the driver’s seat.

“Nerd,” Tommy mumbled with a smile on his face. You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his.

“Dork,” you countered. You were an only child for the longest time it was such a nice change to mess with someone.

“Children,” Natasha warned but before she could continue her scolding. You heard the impact before you felt in. Instinct kicked in and you braced yourself for the impact, your body tensed with fear.

The collision was violent, the force of the impact threw you forward. You felt the searing pain shoot through your body. For a moment, everything seemed to spin, the world titled at an impossible angle. The sound of the twins screams echoed in your ears. Once the car settled, your vision was blurry but you saw Wanda and Natasha with their heads to the side. They weren’t moving. You tried to look at the twins but a sheering pain caused black spots to cover your vision. A soft whimper left your lips and the world went dark.

*

You heard a soft voice calling out to you. She was saying your name over and over again to urge you to wake up. You were so tired. It seemed easier to keep your eyes closed and sleep but the voice was persistent, a little annoying. It kept getting louder and louder until it was impossible to ignore. “Mama,” you gasped awake. Your chest was heaving, eyes darted around the foreign room. You groaned softly as the pain of the car accident caught up with you. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Your hands were cuffed to metal chains that were attached to the wall. The room was four walls with two doors; one of them was boarded up with wood.

In the corner, you saw Tommy. His hands were free from restraint but a collar was around his neck. “Tommy,” you called out. “Tommy, wake up.” You said a bit louder. Still he laid still, on his stomach. “Come on. This isn’t funny wake up,” you pleaded, desperation oozing from each word. Finally, he groaned. “Oh thank you,” you said, your head leaning back against the wall.

“My head hurts,” he wined, rolling onto his back. It took a moment but he sat up quickly. “What happened?”

“We were in a car accident. I don’t know where we are,” he stumbled to his feet. “Easy,” but he ignored you, wrapped his hands around the chains, and pulled. They weren’t moving. “Tommy, stop. You are going to hurt yourself.” He shook his head.

“I can get you out,” he pulled at them again. “I can get us out and we can go home!” He fell to his butt with a huff. “What’s around your neck?”

“Probably the same thing around yours,” Tommy reached around his neck to touch the collar. You stood up and found out you could reach the mattress but not the door. You sat down and opened your arms, there was a sharp pain in your shoulder. Tommy took the opportunity to lay in your lap.

“They are going to find us,” he looked up at you. “Right?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Or we’ll get out of here by our self.”

*

Natasha was barely listening to Sam as he spoke with local police and Yelena and Kate were looking at the car crash. Her eyes were on her wife and Billy as they sat on the back of an ambulance. The EMT was cleaning a cut on Billy’s head and his arm was in a sling to help his shoulder. Wanda seemed untouched but Natasha had a faint memory of her wife’s magic wrapping around the car before she blacked out. She wanted Helen to do a check up on him when they were done here. “Thank you officer,” Sam said. Natasha turned back into the conversation. “Are you sure you don’t want to get checked out?”

“I’m fine,” she wasn’t really. It was taken every fiber in her body to not lose it. Her daughter and son were taken right from underneath her nose. By focusing on the pain radiating through her body she wasn’t going to lose her cool. Her sister and Kate walked over to them. “What do we know?” She asked.

“It was one van that hit your car,” Kate handed her a tablet with a feed of the car accident. “Then two more vans showed up and took Y/n and Tommy.” Natasha watched as two men existed their car and ran to the back of the car to get you and Tommy. Why didn’t they take Billy?

“The plates were stolen but we are having Peter check out the original owners,” Yelena said, taking the tablet from Natasha. “We know this was planned. They never looked at the camera so we can’t run facial recognition..”

“So we have nothing on who took my kids.”

“We will find them, Nat,” Sam said. “You have my word but we need to get you, Wanda, and Billy back to the tower where it’s safe. We don’t know if they’ll come back,” that made Natasha’s blood run cold. She couldn’t let them take anyone else.

“Okay,” she said.

“Kate and I will drive you back,” Natasha nodded and walked over to the ambulance. Her body ached but she put on a smile as she got closer.

“Hey bud,” she whispered. “How are you?” Billy shrugged, not looking up at the Black Widow. Natasha frowned, looking at the witch. ‘He hasn’t spoken,’ Wanda’s voice echoed in her head. Natasha nodded. “We are gonna head to the tower with Auntie Lena and Aunt Kate, okay?” Billy nodded, jumping off the back and head over to his aunts. But the young boy didn’t reach out for comfort from his aunts. Instead, he walked right past them to the car. Natasha sighed, feeling her wife grab her hand.

“You haven’t gotten checked out, moya lyubov’ (my love),” Wanda said.

“I’m fine,” but she knew she couldn’t lie to Wanda as easily as she did with Sam. Wanda stopped walked. “Wanda-” Natasha pleaded.

“This is not your fault, okay?” Natasha looked at her sister. Yelena was leaning against the car, trying to get Billy to talk. “And I will remind you that at every step. We will find them and Billy will be okay,” Natasha surged forward capturing Wanda’s lips into a kiss. The kiss was frantic, messy as Natasha hung onto Wanda.

“I can’t lose you,” she whispered against Wanda’s lips.

“You won’t. I’m here. I’m right here.”

*

You let Tommy fall asleep, resting between your legs and you ran your fingers through his hair. You wanted to close your eyes and sleep but you couldn’t. What if when you closed your eyes and the door opened and they came in to take your brother? So you sat and replayed moments in your head. The first time you met the Romanoff-Maximoff family and the night the couple told you they wanted to adopt you. They were going to find you. Until then you had to be strong and protect Tommy.

Finally, you heard the door unlock and slowly open. The sound caused Tommy to stir awake but you kept your arms around him as 3 men walked in; two were carrying bowls. “Food,” the man up front said. He was Russian and the men behind him set the bowls near the mattress. But you both didn’t move. “You are going to need your strength.”

“What do you want with us?” You asked. He didn’t answer, instead he gestured to the man on his left and he walked over to you. He ribbed Tommy from your arms. “No!” You jumped to your feet but the man held your brother by his throat and put a gun to his temple. “Please don’t hurt him.” Tommy struggled against his capture but it made no difference.

“Let me make myself perfectly clear,” he stepped forward. “When I say you eat, you eat. When I say jump, you ask how high. Your brother’s life is my hands, do you understand my malen’kaya ten’ (little shadow)?” You glanced at Tommy.

“I understand,” the man holding your brother threw him to the ground. Before you could help, the man grabbed onto your chin to force you to look at him.

“He is collateral,” he said. “I won’t hesitate to kill him if you disobey me.” You nodded and he let you go. You ran over to Tommy and he assured you he was okay as the three men left.

“Do you know them?” He asked. You shook your head. You didn’t, you’ve never seen those men in your life.

“But he definitely knew me,” you sat back on the mattress with the bowl. It was a soup of some kind.

“He called you little shadow,” he said, sitting next to you with his bowl in his lap. Little shadow. Your spoon stopped in mid air. You hadn’t thought about that nickname in months since Jason was killed. “Do you want this?” He asked, holding up his bowl. “I don’t like it.” You laughed at the scrunch of his nose.

“Eat it,” you said, taking a spoonful of your own. It wasn’t bad just bland compared to Wanda’s flavorful cooking. “I think he’s right when he said we’ll need our strength.”

*

Wanda hated this. This intense feeling of worthlessness as she had no idea where her son and daughter were or who took them. She couldn’t even help her other son who hasn’t spoken or eaten since the accident. He was shutting her out and that scared her even more. “But why not take all three of your kids?” Maria asked. The available Avengers met at the tower to come together to find you and Tommy. They were in the conference room while Pepper and Happy watched Billy and Morgan. She hated being away from him but he didn’t need to be here for this. “If they want to hurt you, why did they just take Y/n and Tommy?” It was a good question and one Wanda couldn’t answer. Natasha and her made a lot of enemies throughout their time as Avengers. The list was long.

“Maybe it’s not about us,” Natasha said, picking at the skin around her thumb. Wanda grabbed her hand to stop her. “Have we found anything about Jason?” Tony pulled up the hologram of the man that took advantage of you. The sight still made Wanda’s blood boil.

There wasn’t much they knew about the man that could help them. Only child, whose parents divorced when he was a kid, and his father was in and out of rehab facilities. He was in extreme debt and unemployed. At his last job, he suffered a shoulder injury which allowed him to cash in disability checks.

“What about her parents?” Yelena asked. “Jason must have known them. There was no way them meeting was a coincidence,” she had a good point. Tony put up two holograms of your parents. You rarely spoke about them. Maybe it hurt to much to think about them. Your parents were Daniel and Harper. In 2018, two months after Thanos exterminated half of all living things. Harper was diagnosed with cancer. It seemed so unfair how much pain your family was subjected to in a short amount of time. Your mother was a house keeper while your father worked in construction. They were living pay check to paycheck since Harper was out of work while she received treatment from a Dr. Joshua Harris. Unfortunately, Harper’s treatment wasn’t successful. She passed away. Your father took his own life two months after his wife passed. In three years, you would return and your parents were gone.

“We are missing something,” Natasha stood up suddenly. “If they were being blackmailed or were involved in something there wouldn’t be a paper trail.”

“Nat is right,” Sam said. “Yelena, Kate go talk to Harper‘s doctor maybe he can tell us something.” The duo stood up to leave the room, Yelena squeezed Natasha’s shoulder before they left. “Peter, Maria, and Bucky will try to find an angel on ().” A plan was made. It wasn’t a lot but it was something. Natasha and Wanda left to go find Billy. He was laying on the couch, watching Morgan play with her dolls.

“Hey,” Wanda said, sitting down next to him. “Have you eaten anything?” He shook his head.

“Why don’t I make some mac and cheese?” Natasha suggested. Billy brightened up slightly.

“And a hot dog,” The Black Widow smiled.

“Anything for you, bud,” she walked into the kitchen.

“How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?” Helen gave all three of them a clean bill of health besides the normal ache and pains. Bill frowned, moving to rest his head on her lap. “Talk to me, dorogoy (sweetheart). Please.” She ran her fingers through his hair.

“I can’t feel them, mam,” he whispered. “I keep trying but I don’t know where they are. I-,” his voice cracked. “That’s what hurts mama. I want them home.” Wanda saw the signs of Billy’s powers getting out of control. They were similar in that sense when their emotions got overwhelming their powers were unpredictable. It was a work in process to help him contain it. The witch forced Billy to sit up and moved him so he sat on her lap, his chest against hers.

“Breath, Billy. I need you to breath.”

“I can’t,” he gasped and his hands twisted in the fabric of Wanda’s shirt.

“Yes, you can,” Wanda kept her voice soft. She watched Natasha walk over with the plate of food. She almost dropped it at the state of Billy was in. “Your mom and I got you,” Wanda held out her hand for Natasha to grab. She put the food down and took her hand. Gently, Wanda placed Natasha’s hand on their son’s back and traced soothing circles. “Just focus on us.” Wanda began to hum, a simple lullaby she would sign to them when they were babies. It seemed to work. She felt Billy slump against her and his breathing calmed down.

“You are doing so good, bud.” Natasha said, locking eyes with Wanda. If there was one thing Wanda loved about Natasha it was her eyes. They were so expressive. Even when her face was so stoic, her eyes gave away so much.

“It’s okay,” Wanda smiled. “Everything is going to be okay.” She said it for all three of them. Everything was going to be okay.

*

When the door opened again, you and Tommy were playing Concentration. It was the same man from before. He walked over to you, twirling a key in his hand. He grabbed onto your hands and unlocked the cuffs. “Come with me,” you rubbed at your wrists. “Both of you.” You stood up and the two men grabbed Tommy. “You can call me, Dmitri, okay?” He put his arm around your shoulder as the two men walked out of the room. “We had a mutual friend. Do you know who?” Outside the room, you call tell you were in an abounded hospital. Empty beds with rusted frames sat against the peeling walls, the mattresses long gone or decayed. The air was heavy with the scent of dust and decay. The doors that weren’t locked shut were hanging off the hinges. Your small group weren’t the only ones in the hallway but the ignored you, focused on their task of cleaning.

At the nurse station, the desk was covered in a thick layer of dust, and the files lie scattered and forgotten. Some of the signs still hung on the wall but were faded, their messages no longer conveyed a feeling of hope.

“Jason,” you finally replied.

“Oh she is smart,” he teased. “He was a good man, more loyal to his cock then the cause,” he squeezed your shoulder and the soup you ate turned in your stomach. They brought you into a room. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the hospital. The room was well kept with multiple screens and a generator in the corner. There were weapons scattered against the tables set up. It was eerily silent besides a man typing away at the computer. Your brother was forced into a chair and metal restraints were put on his legs and arms. “Are you ready for your mission, malen’kaya ten’?” You glanced at Tommy.

“I am,” you whispered. Dmitri handed you a tactical suit, similar to the one you’ve seen Natasha ware.

“Change into this,” you took it from him and hesitated. “Change now.” Your hands shook as you took off the clothes you decided to wear on the trip home from the Bartons, simple tracksuit that Kate bought for you. You weren’t blind to the way Dmitri’s eyes racked up and down your body. His footsteps moved behind you and he grabbed the zipper and zipped it up. His hands landed on your shoulders. “Good girl,” Dmitri whispered the name as if it was a secret for only you and him. The name caused your stomach to turn. “This is for you,” it was a com and you put it in your ear. “You and I are going for a little ride and you will listen to every word I say,” he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at Tommy. The sudden movement caused you to stumble into him and his free arm wrapped around your waist, trapping you from moving. “If you don’t your baby brother’s brains will be splattered all over that wall.”

“I understand,” you said. “Can I give him a hug?” He thought about it.

“Make it quick. I’m not a monster,” You walked over to Tommy and hugged him tight.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you whispered.

“Same to you,” you kissed the top of his head and walked over to the man. He said he wasn’t a monster but that was up for some debate. Delete Created with Sketch.

“Where are we going?” You asked. He blindfolded you the minute he lead you out of the building. Being in the backseat of a car was nauseating as you tried to make sense of the turns but it was impossible.

“We are almost there,” your leg began to shake but you felt his hand on your thigh. Automatically your body tensed up. “It’s okay, malen’kaya ten’, I won’t hurt you.”

“You see why I find it hard to believe,” you said. “I thought Jason wasn’t going to hurt me and we both know how that ended.” He removed his hand and your body relaxed.

“We’re here,” the car stopped and blindfold was removed from your eyes. The sun caused you to wince and it took a minute for your eyes to adjust to the harsh light. “We are at the office of Dr. Harris,” you didn’t recognize the name. “You are going to sneak into his office and place this listening device somewhere he won’t find it,” you took the device from him. “Then you will use this on his computer and it will copy all of the files, it will take 15 seconds.”

“How do you expect me to sneak in with this stupid collar on?” You asked. He pulled out a key and took it off. A weight that was on your chest was lifted off. He put a small camera on your chest.

“Remember what I have,” you sighed.

“I do,” you fazed through the car. You kept your powers on as you walked over to the office and walked through the door. You stood in a small entry way with a door in front of you and on your right. A metal sign displayed each specialties the office offered. Dr. Harris’ office was through the door in front of you and he was a medical oncologist. You frowned, ignored the tight knot that formed in your stomach, and moved onto the next door.

It was a simple waiting room, there was a few patients in the chairs. the receptionist was speaking with a young woman through the glass that separated them. The patient had a beanie that covered her head. It was no use to stay and listen to the conversation that was happening so you moved past the nurse that opened the door to call the next patient.

Lucky, there was signs that pointed you in the right direction. However, your feet stopped when you passed a large open area. There was a nurse station on one wall and spread across the room were chairs; some empty. But the people that were in those chairs were attached to IVs. Curiously, you walked towards the nurse station and read the pamphlets they had out. 20 different recipes to eat try during Chemotherapy. What is radiation? How to overcome it? You were in a cancer center.

‘Ah,’ Dmitri said. ‘I forgot you weren’t around to see your mommy sub come to the horrible disease,’ When you were younger, your parents saved enough money to take you to Cooney Island. All the kids at school talked about riding a roller coaster and how cool it was. So you were anxious to go on it. You were nervous and your parents kept saying you did not have to go on it. That no matter what you were their brave girl. You went on it and hated every second of it. The way your stomach dropped at each turn made you sick. You were experiencing that same feeling now. ‘Continue, my little shadow,’ he said. ‘His office is down the hall.’ You nodded and walked that way. The sooner you were done, the faster you could be back with Tommy, safe in the 4 wall cell. Safe wasn’t the correct word you would use but it was better than be separated. You fazed through the doctor’s door. He was sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer. Bookshelf’s were behind him, decorated with pictures of different families. ‘You are gonna have to get him to leave.’ You rolled your eyes. Easier said then done, you thought, how the hell were you going to do that?

As if someone heard your prayer a knock came to the doctor’s door. “Come in,” you moved to the corner as the door opened and the receptionist you saw enter.

“Two Avengers are here to speak with your,” you froze and stomach flipped. Avengers. Two Avengers were here. Your family. ‘Don’t,’ the man hissed in your ear. ‘Don’t forget what I have.’ Oh you didn’t but maybe you could get their attention.

“Of course, please send them right in,” the doctor stood up and straightened the white coat he was wearing. The door opened wider as Kate and Yelena walked in.

“Dr. Harris,” Kate said, extending her hand for the doctor to take. “Kate Bishop and this is Yelena Belova. Thank you for meeting us.” The doctor shook her hand. He went to shake Yelena’s but the blonde refused and sat down in the chair.

“Of course. Anything I can do to help the Avengers,” he sat down and kept his eyes mostly on Kate. You could tell he was intimidate by the Black Widow. You had to stop yourself from laughing. You moved to the window ledge and leaned against it. “What is this about?”

“A former patient of yours,” Kate said. “Does the name Harper Myers ring a bell?” That was your mom’s name. Your stomach dropped. It had been a long time since you’ve heard someone say it.

“The Myers,” he spun around in his chair to look at his wall of pictures. He stood up to grab a frame and looked it over before handing it over to Kate with a sad smile. “They were lovely people,” you walked over to the couple as Kate handed the photo to Yelena. “They had a daughter that I never got to meet her.” You looked at the picture over Yelena’s shoulder. It was a picture of your mom, dad, and you as a baby. They took you o a local mall to see Santa Claus. You were crying, not very happy that a stranger was holding you. Yelena handed the photo back to the doctor but turned to look over her shoulder. Her eyes bore into yours and you held your breath.

“Can you tell us about the Myers?” Kate asked. Yelena turned around slowly. You let out a shaky breath and walked back to the widows. ‘You are toeing a dangerous line,’ Dmitri hissed in your ear.

“The Myers were hardworking people. Harper was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2018. It was a miracle she survived as long as she did.” You clenched your jaw and crossed your arms, hugging yourself for some sort of comfort.

“Did you notice any abnormal behavior?” Kate asked. “Besides the obvious going through a cancer diagnosis.” The doctor leaned forward, resting his hands on his chin.

“I take patient confidentiality very seriously,” he said. “Even after death, they are entitled to the same level of respect. So I will ask again, what is this about?”

“Their daughter was kidnapped,” it was the first time Yelena has spoken. “We are searching every possible option to find her.” You watched the doctor’s face pale.

“Is this about the money?” The couple glanced at each other.

“What money?” The doctor sighed and pulled open a drawer. It took him a moment to find what he was looking for. Soon he handed the couple a folder.

“They were struggling financially to cover the cost of the treatment,” you stayed still not wanting to alert Yelena again. “Daniel’s job offered insurance but it barely covered the cost of the treatment plan Harper would need. Out billing department told them they then they came to me and refused treatment. I pleaded with them to reconsider, that I would help them find a way to pay for it. But they refused,” he sighed. Kate placed the file back on his desk.

“But they got the money?” She questioned. The doctor nodded.

“They came back two days later and said they liked to continue with the treatment. I believe Daniel said they got the money from his sister who passed away.” You frowned. Your dad was an only child.

“Did not find that suspicious?” The blonde asked.

“Of course I did but my job is try to save patients lives. I find the monetary part of my job pointless. If I could give treatment to everyone free of charge then I would.”

“Thank you for your time doctor,” Kate said. “Can you show us to your billing department?” Dr. Harris stood up without a word and walked to the door. The couple followed him but Yelena hesitated and looked towards you. “Sweetheart,” the archer said. “Are you okay?” Yelena nodded.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just,” you know I’m here, you thought, I’m here. I’m here. “It’s nothing.” The Black Widow grabbed her hand. Once they left, Dr. Harris closed the door.

‘Hurry up,’ Dmitri said. You walked over his desk and placed the flash drive into the tower. You watched as a loading boar appeared on the screen and began to count up.

“What are you doing?” You asked. The man laughed.

‘We found you through the lovely doctor,’ he said. ‘Can you imagine who else we can have? Especially when hundreds of families are as desperate as yours were.’ The bar was full and you pulled the flash drive out. ‘You did well,’ he said as you walked through the doctor’s door. ‘I’m impressed with your level of submission,’ he chuckled. ‘I thought you’d fight more.’

You wanted to fight. You wanted to kick and scream and go home but how could you. You were tied down to Dmitri as he held your brother over your head. You moved through the front door but stopped.

“We could follow the money,” Kate said. “Have FRIDAY trace the account.” The Black Widow nodded. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’ve been off.” Yelena sighed.

“We are no closer to finding her,” she admitted. “I’m worried.” Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. There was a part of you that feared they would hear it.

‘Move,’ he ordered but you couldn’t. ‘I will kill him.’ He would. You knew he could but your feet felt glued to the spot. ‘One more chance or your brother’s brains will be all over the wall.’

“We will bring her home,” Kate smiled. “Then we’ll never let her go.” They made the choice for you as the couple walked over to where their car was parked. You sighed, finally walking over to the van. The door opened and you materialized as he grabbed you and pulled in. He pinned you to the opposite door, hand loosely around your neck. You felt his breath on your face. “Do you need to be taught a lesson?” The pressure of his hand tightened on your throat. It was getting harder to get air through your lungs.

“No,” you whispered. “No, sir. It won’t happen again.” You were transported back to whenever Jason was upset with you. You took the flash drive out of your pocket. “I did what you wanted,” you reminded him. His eyes flickered to yours and the flash drive. The pressure let up and you sucked in air. He tightened the collar back around your neck and took the flash drive from you. Before he pulled away from you, he kissed your cheek and whispered, “Good girl,” in your ear.

You felt sick, bile creeping up your throat as the car began to drive. It didn’t take long until you were blindfolded again and your leg started to shake.

*

“That’s all we get out of him,” Kate said, ending their debrief on what they found out about the doctor. It wasn’t a lot but Natasha was certain they found you and your family through the doctor. Sam must have agreed as the direction of the conversation shifted to find the link. But the Black Widow wasn’t listening even though it was important. Her attention was on her sister, who was abnormally quiet. She let Kate do a majority of the talking, adding a comment here or there. Now she was quiet, resting her hand on her chin. When the meeting was over, Yelena left quickly. “Hey,” Natasha called out to her. “What’s going on?” Yelena slowed down, allowing her to catch up.

“Something didn’t feel right while we were there,” Yelena said, glancing at her sister. “It was like,” she paused and Natasha allowed her the time to process her thoughts. “Like we were being watched.”

“Were they there?” Did the people who had you and Tommy know they would check there? Yelena sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

“Maybe I don’t know,” With your and Tommy’s enhancements, you were a deadly combination. “It doesn’t hurt to scrub through security footage to find out.”

*

You heard your name being called out and your eyes fluttered open. Dmitri was back. For the first time, he was alone. His guard dogs weren’t insight. “How did you sleep?” He asked, handing you and Tommy a bowl of the same food you ate earlier.

“Well considering the circumstances,” you said, taking a bite. It tasted better than before. “What do we owe the pleasure?” He sat down in front of you, legs crossed and elbows resting on his knees.

“Your sister is pretty incredible,” he said to Tommy. Your brother leaned into your side. “She’s very protective over you, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Tommy whispered. The man smiled.

“What do you want?” You asked again.

“All will be explained but first eat,” you and Tommy both did as he asked and when your bowls were empty, you placed them down and he offered you his hand. Hesitantly, you took it and he pulled you to your feet. Unlike before he put his arm around Tommy and the 3 of you walked down the hallway. His hand was on your waist, a possessive grip that you couldn’t break away. When you entered the room before, his guard dogs were next to the chair. You changed into the suit, put the com in your ear, and hugged Tommy tight.

This time when you were brought to the car, there was no blind fold. Did he see your submissiveness as loyalty? You weren’t sure but the grip he had on you moved to your thigh instead of your hip. It was night but you couldn’t track the turns and stops with his hand on you. “Where are we going?” You finally asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Just relax,” he put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him. “Why are you so tense?” He asked. “Is this not okay?”

“It’s fine,” you tried to relax but your skin felt like it was burning. You let out a shaky breath and placed your arm on his thigh.

“You and I are going to do amazing things,” he said and tried to fight the shiver that ran down your spine.

“I don’t even know what your goal is,” he chuckled, resting his head on top of yours.

“Perform well tonight and I’ll tell you everything.”

The van stopped a block away from a warehouse. “There are 4 guards,” he showed you a security footage of instead the warehouse on a tablet. “I need you to go inside, disable and erase the security footage, kill the guards, and open the doors for our team.”

“Kill,” you whispered. The other things you could muddle through. But killing innocent people, you weren’t sure if you could do that. He handed you a pistol with a silencer. “I don’t kill people.” Each word you spoke shook with your nerves.

“You killed Jason,” that was true but that was out of self-defense. If you didn’t kill him, he was going to kill you. “It’s rather simple,” he maneuvered your hand to attach the gun to your hip. “But the gun to their heads,” he used his finger to lift your head. Your eyes locked onto his. “And blow their brains out. Simple.” There was nothing simple about it. “Are you ready?” You weren’t. All the color drained from your face. Could he hear how fast your heart was beating? “I asked if you were ready, my little shadow.” His face was in the crock of your neck. You felt the vibration of his words against your skin, causing your hairs to stand up. You weren’t ready. But if you failed or disobeyed what would happen? Would they go after Billy? Or maybe Nathaniel? Lila? Or Cooper? You couldn’t risk the safety of your family. His lips grazed your pulse. You nodded, licking your lips.

“I’m ready.”

*

“It’s the same van,” Natasha said to the Avengers with screenshots of traffic footage behind her. It took her, Yelena, and Kate hours to scrub through the footage. At first they found nothing but soon they noticed a black van, always changing license plates and they could never see the driver. They were good which worried Natasha. They weren’t amateur kidnappers. They were professionals but they made a mistake, well 2 mistakes. “The color of the van looks black but it isn’t. The color is sable and only 2 car shops in the city carry that color.”

“We pulled the records of those names and almost reached a dead end but Yelena found our connection,” the blonde smiled and changed the screen to a single white patch.

“What is that?” Maria asked.

“It’s a nicotine patch to help people quit smoking. A majority of them can be bought over the counter but others require a prescription,” Yelena explained. “We cross listed the list from the detail shops with those who have a prescription and he found,” the screen changed again to a man. “A Lucas Bennett.”

“Mr. Bennett has a history of gambling and drinking away his money but he also visited Dr. Harris.”

“Where is he now?” Sam questioned.

“FRIDAY is already pulling up current employers and addresses. It’s just a waiting game,” Natasha said, looking at Wanda. Her hand rested on her chin. “We find him he will lead us to Tommy and Y/n.” She said it convince Wanda and herself. They were so close to finding her other kids.

“Miss. Romanoff, I’ve located Mr. Bennett.” She looked at Sam.

“FRIDAY send us the location,” he said. “Avengers Assemble.”

*

You hated this. Your palms were sweat as you held the pistol. On quiet feet you walked through the warehouse to the first guard. A mantra echoed in your head and you were surprised it was Yelena’s voice- ‘I know exactly who you are. A hero. A protector. A sister.’ At this very moment, you didn’t feel like any of those things. A hero wouldn’t kill innocent men just doing their job. A protector would stand up to Dmitri and find a way to save Tommy. No, you were weak. A spineless fool. You put the barrel of the gun against the guard’s head, closed your eyes, and pulled the trigger. ‘Very good. One down,’ you opened your eyes and stared at the body at your feet. A pool of blood formed around his head. ‘Three more to go.’ You let out a shaky breath and tears formed at the corner of your eyes but you moved on, a job needed to be done.

When you lived with Jason, you were prone to dissociating. It allowed your mind to be protected while he raped you. You found yourself doing it now as if your mind was gone and your body moved on auto pilot. The two guards went down easily, their blood pooled on the floor and splattered on the wall they stood next to. In your ear, Dmitri praised you. Every time he called you ‘his good girl’ the little food in your stomach turn. ‘3 down, one to go.’ he said. ‘Good girl.’

You wanted to rip the com out of your ear, stomp on it. You wanted to go back in time and save those three men you murdered. To go back and stop the car accident but you couldn’t. So with the last guard that stood by the security office, you placed the barrel to the back of his head and pulled the rigger. His body slumped to the ground.

A few weeks ago, you woke up at three in the morning. With your throat dry and you were in desperate need of some water but the water bottle you had was empty. Kicking off the blankets, you braced the cold air of the house and headed to the kitchen. You expected it to be empty so you could fill your water bottle up and quickly go back to sleep. It wasn’t. Natasha was sitting at the kitchen counter and she appeared to be crying? Her sobs were muffled due to her hand being over her mouth but you saw her body shake. You remained frozen, not used to the scene in front of you. The normal level headed Black Widow was sobbing in the kitchen and were lost on what to do.

‘Mom,’ you made your presence known. She was startled, apologized, and asked if she woke you up. Instead of answering, you walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. You felt her body tense up but soon relaxed into you and cried. It could have been hours or maybe minutes but you held onto her tightly. Soon she pulled away and apologized again but you told her it was okay to cry. It was okay to not be strong all the time.

Instead of getting water, hot chocolate was made and you sat with her on the kitchen floor. You talked about everything.- her time in the Red Room, the red on her ledger, and the guilt she felt which lead her to working with SHIELD and the Avengers. Wanda found you and Natasha on the couch fast asleep the following morning.

But the conversation stuck with you and you found yourself thinking about it now while you stared at the body on the ground. There was more on your ledger. After all these years, Natasha was still trying to forgive herself. How long was it going to take you?

‘Hurry along.’ You nodded and fazed through the door to the security office. You plugged in the flash drive and watched the security footage delete, the alarm system turn off, and the metal garage door open. On cue, black vans entered the warehouse and men you didn’t recognize began to open the wooden boxes with crowbars.

“What are they looking for?” You asked, stepping out of the office. They paid no mind to you and continued on their work. You walked over to one of the men. Once the wooden box was open, he pulled out of a brief case. He placed a piece of tape over the finger print scanner and he opened it when it beeped.

“They are here, sir,” the man to Dmitri over his own com.

‘Perfect,’ you heard the smile in his voice. ‘My little shadow you did it!’ He was so proud of you but it filled you with fear. ‘Those pills are psylock. They enhance neural pathways to allow for manipulation,’ each word he spoke, sent a shiver down your spine. ‘Now we don’t also have to take baby brothers has collateral. Everyone will be good obedient soldiers,’ the world around you seem to blur.

“What are you planning?” You questioned. “Why are you building an army?” He scuffed.

‘The world is dirty A filthy, disgusting place so it needs to be rebuilt. You’ve seen the horrors of it. Together we can make it better,’ you had to stop yourself from laughing. This man wanted to make the world better when he was part of the problem. He contributed to the darkness. He was a monster not a savior.

Shooting pulled you out of your thoughts. You gripped the gun in your hand tighter as gun shots bounced off the walls. ‘Run back to me,’ Dmitri said but your feet remained frozen to the ground. You heard them. The voices of the Avengers. ‘Now!’ Still your hesitated when you locked eyes with familiar green ones.

“Mom,” you whispered. They found you. The relief was evident on her face but her eyes asked a question - where is your brother? You smiled, dropped the gun, and ran back to your capture. Ignoring the shouts of your name.

*

Natasha was losing her patience as she grabbed Lucas by the shoulder and throw him into an office chair. He was supporting a gun shot and she knew that wasn’t the only injury he was going to have tonight. “Let’s be honest with one another, okay?” She smiled, feeling her wife’s eyes on her back. The other Avengers were dealing with the other goons. Sam allowed Natasha, Yelena, and Wanda 10 minutes alone with him. “I really want to kill you but I can’t because you have something I need. So answer my one simple question. Where are my kids?” He laughed.

“Go to hell,” the Black Widow’s smile didn’t falter.

“Mr. Bennett,” she dug her finger into the gun shot and he let out a muffled scream, biting down on his lip. “I’m the easy way,” she moved behind him and forced his head to look at Wanda. “Do you see that beautiful woman over there? I get the pleasure to call her my wife and you do want her to find the answers by force.”

“I’m not scared of her,” he spat out.

“I would be,” Yelena mumbled.

“Moya lyubov’ (My love),” Natasha looked at the witch. “Let me talk to him.” She let go of his face and walked over to Wanda. With the hand not covered in his blood, the Black Widow put her hand on the back of Wanda’s neck.

“Find only them, little witch,” she whispered.

“I wont kill him,” her lips twitched and each words was laced with her deep accent. “He will wish for death.” Natasha gently kissed her forehead and let her go.

“I told you,” Yelena said as Wanda’s fingers glowed red. Natasha smirked as her fingers touched his head and he began to scream.

*

“How did they find you?” He asked with his hand tightly wrapped in your hair as he dragged you into a room you’ve never been in. Hew threw you onto the bed and you scrambled to sit up.

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. The man paced in front of you. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me.” H wasn’t acknowledging you to lost in his thoughts. “Please,” you whispered. “Please don’t hurt him.” That stopped him and he faced you. You climbed to the opposite side of the bed, until your back hit the wall. You hated the look in his head. It was a look you’ve seen before. In Jason’s eyes. In every male that looked at you as if you were a toy, a piece of meat for them to taste.

“Strip for me,” he said, removing his tip and setting a pistol on the bed side table.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned even though you fully understood what he said. He chuckled.

“I am getting tired of having to repeat myself,” he rolled up the sleeves to his elbows. “I said strip.”

*

“We found Tommy,” Yelena said through Natasha’s com as they ran through the hallway of the abandoned hospital. “He’s safe minus a bruise on his face.”

“Copy that,” Wanda answered. “We are still searching for Y/n.” They came to a intersection. “I’ll go left and you go right.” Natasha hated the idea of splitting up but they needed to cover more ground.

“Okay,” she squeezed Wanda’s hand. “Be safe and let’s bring our girl home.” The witch squeezed her hand back and took off. The Black Widow let out a shaky breath and ran right. As she ran through the empty corridors, her mind kept turning into a darker place. The emptiness and coldness of it all reminded her of the Red Room. Endless hours she was shuffled through those halls; going to training or the ballet bar or back to her room. Now two of her children have been subjected to the same darkness. The sound of gun shots sent her heart in a panic and pulled her out of her thoughts. Another shot. Followed by another. She swung open the door with her gun drawn but her form faltered when she saw you; wearing only underwear, blood splattered across your face, and a gun in your hand. You pointed the gun at Natasha.

“M-mom,” you whispered. Your eyes were frantic, wide, and scared. Natasha holstered her gun.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she held up your hands when you didn’t lower the gun. “It’s me. It’s your mom.” Delete Created with Sketch.

You had to be dreaming, right? There was no way Natasha was standing in front of you. He had to have drugged you. “Can you put the gun down for me?” She asked, taking a step closer to you.

“Stop, don’t come any closer,” your hand shook but the Black Widow stopped walking towards you.

“I’ll stay right here but I need you to put that gun down.”

“I can’t,” you whispered. Didn’t she understand. You had to protect yourself from her and the men in his organization. “What if they come back for me?” Natasha shook her head.

“They won’t,” she said. “I’m here and you are safe.”

“Safe?” You questioned with a bitter laugh. “Why does this keep happening to me?” You asked, hitting yourself on the chest with your free hand. “Why do people keep using me? I can’t-” your voice cracked. Your throat began to burn as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “I can feel his hands on me. His breath on my neck. Why does this keep happening?” You pleaded with her to have an answer.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Sometimes the world is a dark and evil place and you’ve been subjected to a lot of it.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” You readjusted your grip on the gun. “I can’t do this answer.” You put the barrel of the gun to your temple.

“Sweetheart,” Natasha took a few steps forward but you backed away from her. “You have every right to be angry and upset with how the world as treated you but I promise you whatever happens next I will be there. By yourself or at your back. Just please,” her own voice shook. “Put the gun down and we can go home.”

“Home?” You questioned. You heard footsteps rushing towards the open door and you pointed the gun. It was Wanda. “M-mama,” you whispered.

“Hi, my sweet girl.”She smiled.

“I c-can’t go home,” you said. “I killed those guards and stool information from a doctor. I’m - I’m,” your heart was pounding against your ribs. It was hard for you to get air into your lungs. You put the gun back to your temple.

“You did those things to keep yourself and Tommy safe,” Wanda said. Her voice was strong and steady. “We or the others won’t think of you any differently.”

“Tommy,” you said. “Is he safe?” Natasha nodded.

“He is. He’s with Yelena and waiting for you,” this time when your mom stepped forward you didn’t move. “So is Billy and Kate and Morgan. Just please put the gun down and we can go home.” Home? Home was where you were safe and loved by those around you. You could laugh and joke with your brothers. Play board games at the dining room table. Your hand shook as you set the gun down. It was hard to keep yourself standing and before your knees hit the ground, strong arms caught you. You buried your face into Natasha’s neck and sobbed. Your body shook from the intensities of your cries. Your tears wouldn’t stop. You felt Wanda’s magic enter your mind and every thought, memory went away and you welcomed the darkness.

*

When you came too, you were laying in one of the medical rooms at the tower. You were sandwiched between Billy and Tommy. The twins were asleep, their hands twisting in the fabric of your shirt in a tight fist. Wanda and Natasha were in the chairs on either side of you fast asleep. You sighed, looking up at the ceiling. It reminded you of when they found you after Jason’s attack. They sat by your side until you were healed. You were starting to wonder if you being part of this family was doing more harm then good. “You’re thinking to hard, dorogoy (sweetheart).” You looked at the witch, who was rubbing sleep out of her eyes. You offered her your free hand and she took it.

“I’m sorry,” she shook her head.

“Do not apologize,” she said. “None of this was your fault.” It was hard to believe that you were here. You held tightly onto her hand, scared that if you dropped it or looked away she would disappear. “Hey,” you forced your eyes away from her hand and looked at her. “You are home. You are safe. This is real,” you nodded. “Say it back.”

“This is real,” you repeated. “I am safe. I am home.” There was a shake in your voice that caused Billy to take up. He slowly looked around, eyes laced with sleep. His eyes locked onto yours.

“Your awake,” he said, sitting up quickly and throwing himself into your arms.

“Easy, Billy,” Wanda said. The force knocked the air out of your lungs. It was heightened by Tommy waking up and joining the hug. They hugged you tight as if they to were afraid you’d disappear. There was an ache in your body but you ignored it. You were home. Safe and home.

Natasha got the twins out of the room with the promise of getting ice cream. It was harder for Billy to leave your side but you gave him a smile and promised to play Mario Kart with him. It was just you and your moms and a part of you wished the twins were still there. You felt small under their gaze as you picked at the threads on the blanket. “Tommy filled us in on somethings that happened,” Natasha said. “Do you want to talk about anything?” You crossed your legs and starred at your hands. There was so much you wanted to say but it hurt.

“It was the group Jason worked for,” you whispered. “They found me through my parents. My parents needed money for my mom’s treatment so as an incentive to pay them back I was the bargaining chip,” you shrugged. “In the end, my mom died and my dad couldn’t pay them back so he committed suicide but a debt still needed to be collected,” you pushed away a few tears. “They needed me to steal information from Dr. Harris and get them into that warehouse to steal those drugs. And Dmitri,” you felt bile rise. You closed your eyes and you felt the couple place their hand on top of yours.

“Was like Jason, Coach Griffo, Principal Cook, and Conner. Men that tried to take something that wasn’t there’s to take,” you reopened your eyes and moved your fingers against their hands. It helped ground you. “He made his advances well known but when you found me at the warehouse he was upset and made his move. I killed him,” you sighed, biting your lip. “Natasha found me right after I did it.” You were not looking forward to the next part of this conversation. The Black Widow said your name and you looked at her. Her green eyes were a little glossy.

“I need to ask you this and I need you to be 100% honest with us, okay?” You nodded. “Are you suicidal?” You looked forward, unable to look at either of them.

“I-” you cleaned your throat. “Sometimes I feel their hands on me and the heat of their breath on my neck. I want it all to stop.”

“You didn’t answer her question,” Wanda said. Her small comment made you smile and chuckle softly.

“Because I don’t have an answer for you,” you answered. “I wish I did but right now I feel so dirty and mind is so dark and I don’t feel safe. I’m -”

“Stop apologizing.” Natasha cut you off. “Nothing has been your fault.” You nodded. “And thank you for being honest with us. So here is what’s going to happen,” you looked at her. “You are going to stay at the tower and be monitored by Helen.” That was fair.

“You are going to start speaking to a therapist,” Wanda added on. “Sam has found a few and you can decide which one you like.” You nodded again. “Sweetheart,” you looked at Wanda. Her green eyes matched her wife’s, glossy with tears. “You really scared us. We weren’t sure what was going to happen.”

“I’m-” you stopped yourself. “Thank you,” you said instead. “Thank you for saving.”

“I meant it,” Natasha said. “In that room, I said no matter where life takes you we will be by your side.” she ran her hand through your hair. “My firefly, you saved yourself. Time and time again, it has been you. We are here to show you how far you’ve come.” You smiled. It was a long and scary journey ahead of healing but you wanted to overcome everything you’ve been through. You weren’t a pawn but a queen and it was time to show the world who you are.

[falling-star-cygnus]

so like- we know nothing about Lu Guang's parents, right? -> and he only ever loops back to the moment he meets Cheng Xiaoshi, never before. there's gotta be a reason for that, right???

Qiao Ling: We've never met Lu Guang's parents, but judging from Lu Guang, we think it's safe to assume that they're- Cheng Xiaoshi: and this is nothing against Lu Guang, we love Lu Guang Qiao Ling: -monstrously stupid sewer people.

getting this out before canon totally breaks it TTwTT -> based off my theory that Lu Guang inherited his powers

"Welcome i-"

Cheng Xiaoshi barely gets through the greeting before a floof of white hair is shoving it's way behind him.

He blinks.

Lu Guang had gone out maaaybe ten minutes ago to take a walk.. clear his head, for once, because he was getting finicky. Which was understandable, Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn't want to stay cooped up in the same place he had gotten stabbed either.

But now he was plastered against the dark haired boy's back like it was a barricade in war.

And shaking.

"Lu Guang...?"

"Don't-"

Pressed back to back like this, Cheng Xiaoshi could feel nearly every notch in his fair roommate's spine- every hitch in breath, every shudder. Lu Guang was scared.

He finds himself swallowing, and adjusting just enough that his frame nonchalantly blocks his friend from the windows.

"Is somebody chasing you?" Cheng Xiaoshi asks, keeping his voice low as he cleans a lens.

Lu Guang shakes his head, hands pressed against his mouth.

Their greeting cat meows out its welcome.

"..uh-! Hello, welcome in..." again, the dark haired boy finds his words cut short as he takes in who's entered.

A woman, with cold kitten grey eyes.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

She sniffs, in an uppercrust- haughty sorta way, "Did you see a boy pass by here? Or did he come in?"

"I see.. a lot of people pass by all the time," the photographer hedges, keeping his tone friendly, "The- windows are pretty large."

"Did anybody come in?"

Well that was an entitled tone.

"Just you, lady."

Lu Guang flinches against his back.

"Ma'am," the woman corrects, her nose scrunched like she smelled something foul, "Honestly, how rude. Didn't your parents teach you manners?"

Ohh.

So she was a bit-

"They weren't around much." he says instead, before adding, "Ma'am."

Surprisingly, that makes her cold features soften. Just a tad, but the hard crease in her brows relaxes into something like pity.

"Oh, you poor thing." she simpers, coming closer to the counter, "Children should never be without their parents. You know- my boy had to live without his father."

Her boy?

Cheng Xiaoshi chances a glance over his shoulder, to where Lu Guang had frozen against his back. The dark haired boy didn't even think he was breathing anymore.

He pockets that little tidbit of paternal information for later.

"Oh, it was so sad. I miss my husband every day... but it couldn't be helped. It was his fault, you see."

...what?

"I'm... sorry?"

"Hm? Oh don't be, it was years ago."

"No- uh," Cheng Xiaoshi shakes his head, putting his lens down on the counter, "The- what do you mean his fault? If- if it's not too intrusive to ask, ma'am."

He was... around 90% sure she was talking about Lu Guang.

But that didn't make any sense.

"Awh, so polite all of a sudden!" he was really starting to not like her, "No, no I don't mind. Maybe it's better if I get it off my chest."

Or... you know... she could tell a clearly needed therapist. Not someone she trapped behind the counter.. just a suggestion.

"Well, then- you see... oh, it's so hard to even think about!"

"I completely understand, ma'am. You don't have to-"

"My son was the reason-"

Okay then.

"-my husband died."

Wait what?

Lu Guang slides down his back slightly with a near ragged inhale that has Cheng Xiaoshi abruptly coughing to cover.

"Sorry- spit take, you know?" he says, at her questioning look, "That's- wow. Uh... hm. Hey- you're new to the area, right?"

Please say yes, please say yes, please-

"What? Oh, yes."

He needed to get her out of here. As curious as he was, as he always was for even snippets of Lu Guang's past, he... this couldn't be the way he found out. Not from someone else.

Not from his mother.

There was no doubt in Cheng Xiaoshi's mind that that was who this woman was. The two didn't share many similarities, not much more more than their eyes and fair skin, but his friend wouldn't.... he's never reacted this way before.

Not even when bullies would heckle and crow at him in their younger years. His head never bowed, he was never- he was never scared like this.

"There's a milk tea place, right down the street from here? You seem so stressed, ma'am, and it's great for calming down!"

They better enjoy the publicity he was giving them.

"Maybe that's where your missing person went?"

The woman contemplates it for a second, a hard line to her lips.

It's the longest second of Cheng Xiaoshi's life. And he had to wait and dial for an ambulance as his best friend bled out!

"That's..." oh god, "a fantastic idea. Thank you, boy."

Oh, so she could call him 'boy' but he couldn't call her- whatever. Whatever.

Bigger fish to fry at the moment, or however the saying went.

Cheng Xiaoshi waits, his heart thudding against his ribs as he watches her strut out the doors. It's an agonizing thing, watching her take slow, preppy steps away from their shop.

tick, tick, tick.

"Is.. she gone?" Lu Guang asks, his voice so so quiet.

Cheng Xiaoshi leans over the counter to watch the woman- Lu's mother- turn the corner.

"Mhm-"

He barely gets through the noise before he has to catch his roommate around the middle.

"Hey-! Hey, hey, hey, it's okay... it's okay," Cheng Xiaoshi panics, starting to sink down to the floor with his roommate before thinking better of it.

It's been a hot second since they'd swept.

So- like a good friend, the dark haired photographer stands back up, with Lu Guang clutched in his arms like that one cat poster- the one with it hanging from a branch- and pulls him closer.

He can feel his friend's chest heave in short staccatos.

It's... more than a little difficult to maneuver the both of them to the couch like this, but he manages- with minimal jostling, too! Lu Guang's skin is no less soft when Cheng Xiaoshi swipes his thumb over his cheek.

He doesn't say anything when it comes back wet.

"I'll be right back, alright? I just need to change the sign. Two seconds!"

It's decidedly a little more than two seconds.

Why did the pace have to pick up now of all times!? They've been practically dead all day!

Cheng Xiaoshi tries to be polite as he ushers them out, but he's frazzled and Lu Guang is terrified and he can't deal with this right now-

...he ends up promising a lot of discounts. To like three people. Insistent people.

Whatever. Push comes to shove, Qiao Ling has their back.

When he gets back to the couch, Lu Guang has curled into the corner of it and buried his head into his knees- arms wrapped around his stomach. His chest pangs at the sight- at the trembles still running through his roommate.

"Guangguang?" Cheng Xiaoshi tries, gently reaching for his shaking knee, "Hey-"

When his fingers make contact, his best friend flinches.

So the photographer changes tactics. He takes a seat next to him, fingers drumming on his own thighs as he tries to act like he has a clue on how to act.

"Can.. I see your hand?" No harm in asking, right?

For a second, he thinks he'll be ignored.

"It's okay if-" -oh!

No harm in asking.

Cheng Xiaoshi guides the pale limb to his chest, interlocking their fingers palm to knuckle, and waits.

thump-thump. thump-thump. thump-thump.

The dark haired boy breathes out.

Lu Guang breathes.

Little by little, breath by breath, the fair haired boy relaxes from the tight ball he's curled himself into. His kitten grey eyes meet warm brown, hesitant as if expecting judgment.

And when there's none to be found, he looks back towards his knees.

"I'm-"

"If you apologize, I'm going to smack you."

Lu Guang quiets down.

Which- well... that's not good either.

Cheng Xiaoshi rubs his friend's knuckles as he lets the silence stretch, vaguely frustrated at his own lack of words.

"Do you... wanna talk about who that was?"

He knew who it was, obviously, but- he gave his friend a choice about his powers. He'll give him a choice here.

"...my mother." it's a whispered thing, hesitant almost like he doesn't want to reveal it at-

Oh.

Oh.

Cheng Xiaoshi was well aware his friends tip-toed around certain subjects with him- unless it was brought up directly from the boy himself. And for the most part he found himself grateful for it.

But he never even realized that it could-

That it would be... that Lu Guang would feel like he couldn't talk to him about it.

He never wanted Lu Guang to feel like he couldn't talk to him.

thump-thump-thump.

"She seemed..."

"Uppity?"

"I was actually looking for a nicer word but- hey, your mom."

That startles a surprised little laugh out of his roommate, so he proudly considers it a win.

"She.. wasn't always like that." Lu Guang admits, tucking his face back into his knees.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cheng Xiaoshi asks in return, careful- ever so careful.

He still has to tighten his grip so that Lu Guang doesn't pull away.

"...I can't-"

"You can." because fuck that one-sided comfort his roommate tried to push, "You always can."

Lu Guang doesn't say anything, so Cheng Xiaoshi tugs him forward until they're lying flat- tucks his fair haired friend into his chest like he could protect him from all the horrors in the world, for once, even the ones that plagued his own mind.

"We can also just lie here, until you feel better."

A long, gentle kiss gets pressed to fluffy white locks.

"Whatever you want, Lu Guang."

And, just like before, Cheng Xiaoshi pretends not to notice when his shirt collar grows wet.

did you enjoy? 👀 -> if you did, please let your hopefully dear author know <3 they thrive off feedback and could be persuaded to make a part two

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

I was incredibly lucky enough to get to visit London and see Next to Normal twice in the short time I was there (and meet Jack Wolfe at the stage door!) But lots of fans might not have the same opportunity, so I wanted to share some details about the production and the changes/additions made to the performance since the Donmar production because I remember eagerly reading as many details as possible once upon a time.

Obviously, spoilers ahead for acting choices and stage directions. (Personally, I love spoilers and knowing what to look for in a production, but if you have the chance to see the show and want to be surprised, this is a good place to stop reading.

First off, Diana is shown as waaaaaay more crazy. Her behavior is far more erratic and there's never a moment when you think she's lucid and in control. Personally, I liked this change because I felt like in the Donmar production she was too... normal? She didn't quite behave as the person who broke down in the market, set the house on fire, crashed the car, and jumped in the swimming pool. Here, I completely believe she did all those things. Diana is hypersexual, ripping her top off as she runs past Natalie in the beginning to go have sex with Dan. She plants a kiss on Henry, to Natalie's utter horror, the first time she meets him. (Dan does not react to this, haha, he's used to it.) All of Diana's interactions with with therapists have an undercurrent of overly flirty, sexual dialog. Obviously, this is one sided and unreciprocated from the therapists. At one point she tells the therapist that she's flattered, but her husband is waiting in the car and it's impossible to see it as anything other than super sexual. (She's kinda into it though...) Diana lays curled on the floor more often clutching her head. You never doubt that she is manic.

Let's talk about Gabe.

Jack Wolfe rewrote the role of Gabe, there's no denying that. Instead of the menacing looming ghost, all American jock ghost, Jack plays him as a soft boy. The ultimate soft boy. And I didn't know it was possible, but he ramped that energy up 100% in this production. Jesus christ, he couldn't have been any more adorable if he stood on stage batting his eyelashes. Not only is Gabe played as a soft boy, he's particularly played as being very child-like. It's quite the duality. He has the body and mentality of a supposed 18 year old. He makes a joke about not taking coke "right now," and taunts his father with the location of the car keys at the beginning of the show. Later he reminds his mother that young people in love are horny.

Yet, Gabe's emotional responses, reactions to those around him are extremely childish. It really struck me how similar his expressions of joy, fear, and anger were to my toddler. Eerily similar. In a new addition, his face lights up with uncontrolled joy, giggling when he sees the music box. (His music box.) Gabe jumps to sit on the counter, and hugs it to his chest as he and Diana listen to the music.

There are moments when he is hurt by watching his parents fight and looks absolutely wounded. Like, shoulder hunched, chin tucked in looking down completely betrayed. Another new addition to this production includes Gabe turning his head away and closing his eyes as his mother flushes her pills down the drain. He does not want to see her do it. The dialog is a little at odds with this action because he still tells Diana that he thinks she's being very brave even though he visibly disagrees with her choice.

Gabe recoils in fear during the "chair moment" in a way you wouldn't expect from a young man. When Gabe and Dan crowd Diana during "I Am the One" she lashes out and grabs the chair, swinging it around, forcing them both away from her. Gabe jumps backward in surprise. But this time he also runs behind the counter, visibly terrified that his mother's anger is directed at him. He ducks as she swings the chair, unlike Dan, who is still on the same side of the counter as her and backs out of the way but continues singing and engaging with her, unlike Gabe who does it from a safe distance.

And when Diana's memories of Gabe, and Gabe himself returns after shock therapy, he unleashes the "I'm Alive Reprise" with what I can only describe as the same chaotic gleeful energy my toddler has when my kid starts evil cackling. It's a loud, full body laugh of delight that no one else takes any amusement in that, but that does not stop the child from enjoying it. It's a wild moment in the production. Gabe literally rolls around on top of the counter in delight at being unleashed.

Gabe is also more physically affectionate toward Diana. He hugs her several times and kisses her head. If he gets the opportunity to touch her, he will. In one poignant moment, Dr. Madden convinces Diana to look at Gabe's baby items and start letting go. Gabe tries to get her attention by attempting to hold her hand in order make her talk to him, and instead of taking it, she walks away and leaves him reaching toward her. He is devastated. In the Donmar production Diana and Gabe sat against the counter and leaned on one another. In this production that moment was substituted for Gabe kneeling on the floor and Diana lying on the floor and putting her head in Gabe's lap. He strokes her hair and reassures her.

Instead of seeming jealous or spiteful toward Natalie, Gabe seems enraptured with her. No sibling rivalry here. He tries, unsuccessfully, to get her attention several times and even places his hand over hers on the counter in a moment of comfort, not that she notices. In this production Gabe does not put Diana's purse or bag of pills in front of his sister, starting her addiction. She finds them herself.

This production solved one of the problems I originally had with "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" in the Donmar production. In the original original New York run Gabe was played by Aaron Tveit as the very jock, athletic all American boy, which is in strict contrast to Natalie, the dorky anxious sister. At the end of the song Gabe joins Natalie singing, "she's not there," until his voice overpowers her and takes over the song as a vocal reminder that he's the favored child. Obviously, the Donmar production didn't do this because Gabe changed to soft boy energy. So Gabe joining the end of the song, singing at Natalie made less sense that the two are no longer in competition. THIS PRODUCTION instead had both Gabe and Natalie singing the end of "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" to Diana, which was completely brilliant. Diana curls up on the floor clutching her head as both turn their attention toward her. Natalie stands at the top of the stairs and Gabe stands on the counter, both looming over Diana on the floor (asking her why she is not present in their lives and almost accusing her for casting them in the roles of Super Boy and Invisible Girl.)

Gabe is also present in more moments than the original Donmar production. He lurks in the background of several more scenes that did not feature him at the Donmar. This is an excellent choice. He joins Diana during her therapy session when she is hypnotized. Diana makes the joke about turning the light on at the bottom of the stairs to Gabe, both of them being playful and sharing teasing glances because they doubt the success of the hypnosis. (Jokes on Gabe) As Diana falls further into hypnosis, Gabe becomes less visible on stage until he's completely eclipsed behind Dr. Madden and cannot be seen at all even though he's still on stage standing behind the doctor. Gabe tails Diana through the house like a sad puppy afterward when she goes upstairs and retrieves the "baby box."

Gabe did not "try" to make his mother commit suicide. He grabbed his backpack and a dufflebag and started to walk out the door until Diana sang, "I'd die to dance with you." She had already made up her mind to die before Gabe turns around and begins to sing "There's a World." He seemed to help her after she already made her choice. It was less coaxing her into suicide and more guiding her through it, reassuring her of the what came at the end and how he would be there with her.

Gabe watches while Dan cleans up Diana's suicide attempt. He shows up just in time for Dan to sing the lyric, "And there's no one around," disproving Dan's claim that he's all alone. Now, looking this up, it seems like Gabe is supposed to be in this scene, but I have NO MEMORY of Gabe at this part in the original Donmar production. That could just be my faulty memory though. This scene really strengthens their confrontation later in "I Am the One Reprise." I also have no memory of the "sonogram scene" at the Donmar though I distinctly remember reading about it and was actively watching for the moment when Gabe stood on the upper floor and the curtain dropped, casting him in silhouette reminiscent to a sonogram while Diana listens to the music box. So maybe I'm just not remembering correctly? Still, this scene was also excellent and haunting as Gabe hummed the music box melody. The humming was beautiful and it broke me.

At one point in this production, Gabe almost touches his father, but pulls away first. Gabe, desperate to be acknowledged, stands in front of Dan, who reaches forward to touch Diana. Gabe quickly retreats in fear, and throws himself out of the way to avoid touching his father.

I'm not particularly sure anything changed during "I Am the One Reprise," but it's my favorite scene of the entire show, so I'm gonna talk about it. Because hot damn. Before this moment Diana talks to Natalie and sings "Maybe" While they talk Dan and Gabe are sitting against opposite side of the counter. (Dan in the front on the far left hands clutching his head, Gabe behind the counter on the far right curled into a ball, arms wrapped around his knees, forehead on his knees) When Diana finally tells Natalie (and the audience) how her older brother died, Gabe perks up at the mention of his name. He slowly unfolds, sits up, and listens as if it is the first time he's heard it too. Then Diana sings "So Anyway," and leaves. Both men watch her go. (To my utter amusement, Gabe turns into a prairie dog standing up on his knees -- again, reminding me of my toddler who does the same thing in order to sit up and see better -- as Diana leaves.)

Dan stands and starts singing "I Am the One Reprise" to Diana. But Gabe stands and starts singing the reprise to Dan. Then he gets to, "I know you told her that I'm not worth a damn, But I know you know who I am." And then the music cue drops.

It's so powerful.

For the first time Gabe looks angry. Confrontational. He demands to be recognized by his father while Dan denies his presence and begs him to go away. In a stunning leap of athleticism, Gabe jumps on the counter and grabs Dan from the back. It's almost violent. Dan struggles but Gabe refuses to let go until Dan spins around they lock onto each other's forearms and sing the same verse. It's so emotionally charged. Both actors are cry and yell at each other as they sing.

Then Dan starts to pull away and Gabe desperately reaches out trying to hold him again, but unable to from his position on the counter. He continues to reach out despite Dan growing farther away. it's heartbreaking. Dan finally says Gabe's name and recognizes him. It's all Gabe has wanted from his father the entire show. Gabe is so happy in this moment. They look like they are going to continue talking, but Natalie comes in and asks her father, "It's just us?" Now, I remember the line being "It's just the two of us?" at the Donmar, but it's been a hot minute, so I could be wrong (again). But I like, "It's just the two of us?" better because it forces Dan to deny Gabe once again. Dan deliberately looks over at Gabe on the counter before agreeing with Natalie. And Gabe just... gives up. He got the 10 seconds of acknowledgement he wanted from his father. Dan said his name and Gabe's content with that much even though Dan denies him once again in front of Natalie.

Gabe slowly gets off the counter, touches Natalie's hand, though she's unaware, and walks upstairs like a sad little ascending angel who watches over his remaining family.

Other thoughts:

I may not have talked nearly as much about the rest of the cast, but they were all perfect. I loved everyone's voice. Dan was sooooo sympathetic and I love him more and more each time I see the show. Natalie's voice is gorgeous. Stunning. Diana is an unreliable narrator and I think the audience often forgets that.

There are so many props in this set, it must be a nightmare to restock for each show. The food Diana throws around making sandwiches is real, as is the disastrous dinner. (During Diana and Dan's argument they clean up and Diana just throws the dishware into the trash, not just the food, the pan and bowl too and it feels so in character.) Everything else just gets shoved into the sink, haha. The sink does have running water. The birthday cake seems like a prop though and Diana did her best to keep the candles lit while she raced around the stage looking for her dead son. From the balcony on my first viewing I had a really good view of the baby box and saw the exact moment the "blood" began to leak from it. It happened very quickly before the stage turned around, which made me think the it was remote controlled and not set on a release timer (though it probably could be. Every movement from everyone on stage is extremely coordinated even though they are not dancing.) Sitting closer to the stage, the box seemed to leak from all four corners -- I'm just a weirdo who likes knowing these production details.

The cast popping out of the fridge was way funnier during "Psychopharmacologist and I" because they opened the fridge was used it as an ordinary fridge during the opening song. So it was totally unexpected.

Only one person audibly reacted in the audience to Gabe's death reveal between the two shows I saw. Lol. Everyone else went in knowing.

Jesus christ, I have no idea how the actors wore long sleeves and pants on stage. I sat four rows back on the second viewing and I WAS HOT from the stage lights and I wasn't running around the stage like they were. They definitely were visibly sweating.

A friend pointed out that the cast were using American accents, which I didn't realize. For the most part they sounded fine, especially compared to the interviews where the cast use in their natural accents. The most shocking difference was Natalie's actress -- she had the best American accent compared to her strong irl accent. Dan's actor too! Both Jacks couldn't quite cover up their soft vowels so my American ear didn't realize they were using an American accent when I heard their natural ones so clearly.

There were several stage mishaps the second time I saw the production. The curtain that goes up and down on the upper levels of the stage knocked over the "I'm Alive" microphone stand when it when down, knocking the mic off. The mic popped off and bounced down the stairs and rolled off the back of the stage where production presumably grabbed it. The actors picked up the mic stand and put the mic back on it in the next scene. The same microphone stand fell down again when Gabe turned around and his red backpack knocked it over. He picked it up very quickly.

During my "Psychopharmacologist and I" one of Dan's pill bottles, being used as a shaker, exploded. The actor froze for a second, then kept going as the "pills" scattered across the stage. He just put his empty hand in the pocket of the medical coat and continued. When the song ended, a production manager came out, apologized, and said the stage needed to be reset. All the actors left as the stage was swept. The audience looked at their phones for 5 minutes and then the production started again.

Next to Normal was such a joy to see. Like, yes, I saw it because of Jack Wolfe and he was absolutely a highlight of it. But I was never bored without him on stage. Though I did think "So Anyway" was a bit too long, but that's my personal opinion and the effect of jet lag may have influenced that thought. All of the cast and their voices were incredibly talented and I'm glad to be familiar with the show now.

This is long enough, but if you have any questions about the production, please ask! I am happy to answer questions to help those who might be able to see it in person visualize what happened on stage.

[dreamyyesenia]

The Joy of Life - All good things come to an end

"I think it's best, if we get a divorce. I'm just tired of all of this", Rosemary confessed weeks later, at a couples therapy session. Jasper and her hadn’t talked since their last fight. The more time passed, the less Rosemary missed him, the less energy she had to keep fighting for their marriage. She was tired and she haded what the current situation did to their children. Maybe it was time to end it…

The kids were at school, so they were free to speak their minds.

„What are you tired of, Rosemary?", the therapist asked.

„I don't know. If you truly love someone, if that person is your soulmate, shouldn't love be easy? Shouldn't it just come naturally to you to do whatever you could to keep the relationship alive?", Rosemary asked.

Jasper snorted, shaking his head and looking annoyed.

„Do you think you did everything you could to have a successful marriage, Rosemary?", the therapist asked again.

Jasper chimed in this time. "She didn't. We both didn't. This relationship was doomed from the start".

Continue Reading ⬇️

Rosemary was shocked and looked at her husband with a hurtful expression in her face. "Elaborate please, Jasper", the therapist urged him to continue.

Jasper took a deep breath. "Our relationship was doomed from the start, I guess. We met, we made Finn. We kind of were a couple, but we weren't. None of us made the move to establish a serious relationship. Then I caught her flirting with my colleague Brian and I called it quits...".

"Are you still not over that? We had talked about this", Rosemary rolled her eyes at him. "Please continue, Jasper", the therapist repeated.

"Years later, we came back together because we spent a lot of time together and there was this insane physical attraction. So, Briar was born. Peony was born. We got married because why not, we loved each other and we loved our kids. But we didn't really sit together to have a conversation about our goals in life, what we were looking for in a partner“, Jasper told them.

„But we did, we both wanted a family. A big family was a priority for us. And you always knew buying back my family’s bakery was my goal that I wouldn’t, couldn’t give up. Not for any amount of money“, Rosemary interrupted him. Why did he make it sound like they both had never had a conversation before?

„We thought that loving each other was enough. Well, it wasn't. It isn't", Jasper sighed. "I know I made mistakes and I shouldn't have escaped into alcohol and drugs and celebrity parties. I know that. I should have stayed and fought for us. But to be honest with you, I'm tired too", Jasper confessed.

Rosemary stared into the flames of the fire crackling in the hearth. Had their flame really died out? „You siund like you have given up on us a long time ago.” Jasper just looked at his hands. He didn’t protest. Rosemary continued “You just can’t imagine stepping out of the spotlight because you got used to it. Don’t you see how much more peaceful and beautiful it is in the countryside?“, she asked, feeling hopeless.

Jasper shaked his head. „I don’t know. I don’t know what I want and who I want, to be honest. I’m sorry, Rosie.“

Later that day Rosemary and Jasper told the kids about their decision. Understandably, they weren't happy about the news. Briar was furious that her parents were giving up on their marriage. Finn was sad and Peony? For Peony, the intense emotions of her surroundings got too much, again. She fled upstairs to her room to journal. And again, she had the urge to run away, run away from everything and everyone. She really tried not to give in, at least this time.

[mellowsadistic]

Couples Therapy - Part 1

After Angela cheats on her husband, she agrees to go to couples therapy with him, but each session with the therapist leaves her feeling less and less like a grown-up.

***

Angela tapped her foot impatiently while her husband spoke with the therapist privately, probably whining about how angry and betrayed he felt. They were both supposed to go in together in a moment, but for now she was stuck waiting in reception.

Really, she couldn’t understand why Eric was being so dramatic. It was only sex! It wasn’t as though she didn’t love him anymore. She just needed to have a little fun sometimes, that was all. They weren’t even thirty yet! He was twenty-eight and she was twenty-seven. Did he really expect her to settle down and stick to a single sexual partner when she was still so young?

But he’d insisted on seeing a marriage counsellor and she’d eventually agreed, albeit reluctantly. Their therapist was a man. How was he supposed to understand what it was like for a woman in her situation? And her first impressions of the office hadn’t been great either. The receptionist was a total bimbo!

Angela glanced over at her. She was dressed up like some bizarre fetish fantasy. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a pair of high pigtails, and her stripper-sized tits were crammed into a sparkly Disney princess top. Didn’t this place have a uniform? She looked like an overgrown six-year-old for goodness sake! And she’d been acting like one too when she’d tried to match their names to their booking. Her husband had been very patient with her stupid lisping voice and barely passable ability to read, but Angela had wanted to turn around and leave straight away. What kind of serious therapist’s office employed a woman like that?

At last the door opened, and the therapist stood in the doorway. He smiled kindly and gestured her to come inside.

“He’s weady for you now!” the bimbo receptionist chirped happily, looking up from what looked like a fashion magazine for tweens.

Angela rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”

She went into the office and the therapist closed the door behind her. Eric was lounged on a sofa facing a hard-backed wooden chair, looking perfectly relaxed. Angela sat down next to her husband, leaving a few inches of space in between them.

The therapist didn’t take a seat in the wooden chair, however. He took a tablet from his desk in the corner and stood in front of Angela.

“Here,” he said, handing it to her. She looked down at the screen in her lap in confusion. What was this for? Some sort of presentation?

“I find that girls always get a bit nervous in my office,” he said, talking to her in a light, overly friendly tone, as if he was talking to a nursery-schooler. “This will help you relax, okay sweetie?”

Angela scowled. She was about to launch into a furious tirade. She couldn’t stand being talked down to! Who the hell did this man think he was? If he assumed most women were like his ditzy receptionist then he had another thing coming. But before she could say a word, the tablet in her lap came to life. Brilliant pastel colours swirled and spiralled on the screen, sinking into a single spot in the centre, and her complaints died in her throat. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. It was just so pretty…

“There we go,” said the therapist in that same sweet tone. “That always takes care of fussy little girls.”

“Is there anything I have to do?” Eric asked.

Angela felt strange. She was vaguely aware of the men’s words, but it was as though they were coming to her from the end of a very long tunnel. Her attention was focused on the dazzling lights on the screen.

“Not a thing. Let me do all the talking. Did you hear that, Angela? We’re going to have a little talk, okay sweetie? Nothing to be nervous about. I’m a trained professional, after all. We need to have a little talk about how you betrayed your husband. About how he found out you were cheating on him. Because that wasn’t very clever of you, was it Angela? Getting caught.”

Angela shook her head, not taking her eyes off the screen. “Not clever,” she echoed. It was true. She shouldn’t have been caught. She should have been more careful not to let him find out. Because even though there was nothing wrong with what she’d done, even though she was completely in the right, Eric wouldn’t understand.

“That’s right, Angela,” said the therapist. “You’ve been a very dumb bitch, haven’t you?”

Angela frowned. That didn’t sound right. Dumb bitch. Was it okay for the therapist to call her that?

“Look at the pretty sparkles, sweetie,” he encouraged, and Angela sank back into the swirling lights. “That’s right. You’re just a dumb bitch, Angela. All women are, but you especially. That’s okay though. You don’t know any better – you’re just girls.”

Angela knew vaguely that there was something she didn’t like about what the man was saying, but she was too engrossed in the swirling colours to care. His words were like background noise. She could understand them if she concentrated, but it was so hard to focus with the wonderful patterns in front of her.

“Yes, you’re just a girl, Angela. Just a silly little girl. A big child. It doesn’t matter if you do something wrong, because you can’t be held accountable for your actions, can you? You’re sweet and innocent.”

Angela nodded eagerly, a dim smile spreading across her face. She hadn’t done anything wrong. If she wasn’t so distracted by her tablet, she’d have smirked at Eric. His stupid attempt to guilt-trip her with marriage counselling was backfiring on him. The therapist was on her side.

“Besides,” the therapist continued. “You didn’t cheat on your husband anyway, did you Angela?”

Angela was confused. She had cheated on Eric. Was the therapist going to help her cover it up? But Eric already knew, didn’t he? Surely that wouldn’t work! The lights on the screen grew brighter. They were so, so pretty…

“You didn’t,” the therapist said again. “In fact, it’s completely impossible for you to have cheated on your husband. You know why, I’m sure. It’s because of your embarrassing bedwetting habit.”

Angela wrinkled her nose and started trying to shake her head in disgust. She didn’t wet the bed! The therapist must be confused. He must be mixing her up with some little girl. Maybe one of his other clients was some silly little bedwetter who needed to be reassured that everyone had accidents now and again, but that certainly wasn’t her.

“Don’t… I don’t wet the bed…” she mumbled. Her words felt heavy in her mouth. It was hard to think. She just wanted to watch the pretty swirling lights.

“Look at the colours, sweetie,” the therapist told her. “That’s a good girl. You are a bedwetter, Angela. You wet the bed every night. You have done for quite a few weeks now. And what man would want to sleep with a woman who still pisses herself in her sleep like a dumb toddler? You’re very lucky your husband puts up with your babyish behaviour, young lady.”

Angela’s face slackened as the spirals spun faster and faster. Lucky. She was a lucky girl. She was lucky to have a husband who put up with her bedwetting. Another man might leave his wife if she started peeing herself every night. Especially if she’d cheated on him too. But Eric didn’t know about that. Did he? It was strange. For a while Angela had been sure he did. And the therapist didn’t seem to know either. In fact, he thought it was impossible for a bedwetter like her to cheat on her husband! She blushed even more brightly. How had she done it? Angela frowned slightly. She didn’t know. She couldn’t remember clearly. But the therapist was right – who’d want to have sex with some stupid, bedwetting baby-woman? Why would anyone sleep with her when it meant waking up in piss-soaked sheets, or next to someone in a sopping wet diaper. Her special protection. Her baby pants. Was the therapist still talking? She tried to pay attention.

“…because your husband puts up with you in other ways too, doesn’t he?” he was saying. “It’s not just the bedwetting. You actually have quite a few silly, childish behaviours that no adult woman should reasonably be expected to have. You…”

Angela tuned out again. She could feel his words entering her ears, but her attention was focused entirely on the lights in her lap. So pretty. Such pretty lights…

When she came to, the tablet was gone, Eric was standing up and putting his coat on, and the therapist was looking at her with a satisfied expression on his face. Had she fallen asleep?

“Ready to go home?” Eric asked her brightly.

Angela smiled back, a little hesitantly. She’d thought she was in trouble, but maybe she’d just been confused. She was such a silly girl sometimes. Such a dumb bitch.

Eric held out his hand, and she took it. It felt nice to be holding onto him. It felt reassuring. He held her hand all the way back to their house, and while he walked, she couldn’t help herself from skipping along beside him.

[winchesterwild78]

Daddy’s Girl pt 8

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader (wife), Dean and Reader’s daughter, other characters from Supernatural

Warnings: fluff, accident, injury, frustration, SMUT!, more fluff

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This chapter will contain a time jump. Please enjoy a look at the family a year after all the chaos.

This is a work of fiction and does not follow the Supernatural storyline. I do not own the rights to the characters used.

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated. 

Minors DNI 18+

One year. One year of ups and downs, tears and laughter. Dean and I worked hard to fix our marriage. Countless hours in therapy and even more sitting and talking to each other. We made a commitment to fix what was broken, because the love we had for each other was strong.

After the weekend away to the cabin, Dean and I made a promise to get away once every two months. More if we could swing it. We often found ourselves at the cabin, wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire. This place held so many wonderful memories for us, for our marriage.

Delilah was doing so much better, and therapy was helping her too. She insisted on daddy daughter dates as often as she could get them, and she even took Charlie out for lunch and to the mall. 

Their relationship had gotten stronger too. Our family therapy sessions really helped bring us all closer together. I was so thankful for our therapist, because I know without her my family would have fallen apart. 

It was early Spring and the air outside was perfect. The birds were singing and the sun was shining. Dean and I decided to take a walk together.

He grabbed my hand and held it tight. Interlacing our fingers. “Sweetheart, I was thinking about something.” “What’s that babe?” “Well, I was thinking since we’ve been through so much and we’ve come so far, I want to renew our vows. Nothing big, just us, our kids, and family. I think it’s important to renew the promise we made all those years ago.”

I smiled up at him, the sun peaked through the trees and highlighted the blond in his hair, making it look lighter than it was. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Dean.” 

He smiled, leaned over and kissed me, “Good, because I’ve been dying to do this.” Dean dropped to his knee and held my hand, pulled out a small box and looked up at me, “Y/N, I have loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. It took me a while to admit it, but I am so glad I finally did. You’ve given me two amazing children, and a life I never dreamed possible. Even in our darkest moments you were the light carrying me through. Would you do me the honor of renewing your vow to be my wife?” 

Tears were streaming down my face as I nodded yes. He opened the box, but the tears blurred my vision. I wiped the tears away and Dean kissed me. When he pulled back I looked at the ring, it took my breath away. It was a gorgeous diamond with all four of our birthstones around it. 

“Do you like it?” “Dean, it’s beautiful, I love it.” “Good. It took me forever to figure out the design. I wanted it to represent our family and our bond.” “Dean, it’s perfect. I love you.” “I love you too, sweetheart.” 

We walked back to the bunker and I noticed Sam, Eileen, Delilah and Charlie were sitting at the war room table waiting. They smiled as we descended the stairs. 

I smiled, “Did all of you know about this?” They nodded and laughed. Delilah squealed, “Well?! What did you say?” I held up my hand, “I said yes.” 

They all leaped up and gave us hugs. Delilah and Eileen wanted to see the ring. Delilah walked over to Dean and hugged him, “You did good daddy. I hope one day I have a husband as amazing as you are. You set the bar high.”

Dean squeezed her tightly, “Good. You deserve nothing but the best, and you better not take any less than that.” “I won’t Daddy, I know you’ll make sure of that.” “Damn right I will. Come here pumpkin.” He pulled her in tighter and hugged her. 

Sam stood up and stretched, “Hey Dean, let’s go grab some dinner and bring it back to celebrate.” Dean nodded and went to our room to grab his keys. I followed him.

“Be careful baby.” He put his arms around me and softly kissed my lips, “I will sweetheart. I love you so much.” I smirked, “I love you too. Hurry back, and don’t forget the pie.” He winked, “I could never.” 

We walked back into the war room, “Alright Sammy, let’s go. We have to stop and get some pie too.” Sam rolled his eyes and laughed, “Of course we do.” 

After Dean and Sam left, Eileen, myself and the kids sat talking about the vow renewal. Charlie looked up and said, “Hey mom. I have a great idea. Why don’t we have it at the beach? I know you love the beach, and dad has never been. Why not have it there?” 

I looked at Charlie, “Hmm, that’s a great idea kiddo. I think dad will love it. We can talk to him when he gets back.” He smiled and nodded. 

The four of us continued to talk and I glanced at my phone. Dean and Sam had been gone for over an hour. I looked at Eileen and she looked at her phone. I sent Dean a text.

Me: Hey. Just checking on you two. Hopefully you didn’t get lost. Let me know you’re okay.

I sent the message and waited. As the minutes continued to click on I got more nervous. I did my best to hide it from the kids. 

About a half hour later my phone rang. I looked at Eileen and got up to answer it. I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?” “Hello, is this Mrs. Winchester?” “Yes, who’s this?” “Hi Mrs. Winchester, my name is Charlotte and I’m an ER nurse at County Hospital. Your husband and his brother were involved in a car accident.” “Oh my god! Are they okay?” “Yes ma’am. Your brother in law has some bruises and cuts, Mr Winchester has a broken arm and some broken ribs. We need someone to come pick them up.” “Okay. Thank goodness they are okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” “Okay. See you soon.”

I hung up and steadied my breath. I was so nervous. When I walked back in the room all eyes were on me. “Mom, is everything okay?” Delilah asked with a deep concern to her voice.

“That was County Hospital. Dad and Uncle Sammy were in a car accident. They are both okay. Uncle Sammy has some bruises and cuts, dad has a broken arm and some broken ribs. I need to go pick them up. I’ll be back soon.” 

Charlie stood up, “Mom, I want to go with you. I don’t think you should go alone.” I smiled softly at him. Since the stuff with Delilah, Charlie had become very protective of both of us. I nodded, “Okay, buddy. Grab your coat.” 

He ran to his room and a minute later he was back. I told Delilah and Eileen we would be back soon. They stayed while Charlie and I headed towards the hospital. 

I arrived about 10 minutes later and went right to the desk. “Hello, may I help you?” The young nurse at the desk greeted me with a smile. I tried to smile back, but I was so worried about Dean. “Yes ma’am, I’m looking for my husband and brother-in-law. They were in a car accident. Dean and Sam Winchester.” She clicked away at her computer and nodded. “If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to them.” I smiled and motioned for Charlie to follow us. 

We were shown to a private room. I knocked on the door and Sam opened it. His face was cut up and his eyes were black and blue. “Hey, Y/N.” I threw my arms around him, “Sam! I’m so happy you’re okay. Where’s Dean?” I heard a gruff, hoarse voice from behind him, “Right here sweetheart.” 

I walked past Sam and laying in the bed was Dean. His face bruised and battered and his arm in a sling. “Oh Dean.” I ran to his side and peppered him with kisses. He winced in pain. “Ooh I’m sorry, Dean. I’m just so glad you’re okay.” “Yeah, I’m okay. I’ve been through worse.” 

“I know, but.” I couldn’t finish my sentence. The words caught in my throat and tears pricked my eyes as I looked at him. He grabbed my hand and looked at me, “Hey. I’m okay. Sammy’s okay. We will heal.” I nodded.

I turned my head as the tears started to fall. Sam came up and hugged me.  

“What happened?” I asked, looking at both of them. “A drunk driver ran a stop sign and slammed into us and another car.” I looked over at Dean, “How bad is baby?” He just shook his head, “Honestly I don’t know. I was knocked out and when I came to I was in the ambulance.” 

“Okay. We will figure it out. We can fix her up. Make her just like new.” He grabbed my hand, “Yeah, sweetheart. We can do that.” 

I kissed his forehead, “I’m just so glad you two are okay and not hurt worse.” 

A few minutes later the nurse came in with the discharge instructions for both Dean and Sam. 

Dean would have to come back in about 6 weeks to get the cast off and no heavy lifting until the ribs heal. 

We thanked her and I helped Dean get dressed and we left. On the way home we stopped and grabbed a quick bite to eat. Dean kept apologizing for the accident, and I kept reassuring him it wasn’t his fault. 

When we got home Delilah and Eileen met us in the garage. Eileen helped Sam and Charlie carried the food in. Delilah saw Dean and tears filled her eyes.

She softly gasped, “Daddy, are you okay?” He smiled and nodded, “Yeah. I’m fine, pumpkin. Don’t worry.” She nodded and wiped the tears that had fallen. She helped me get him inside. 

“Where do you want to go?” I asked Dean. “Can you take me to wash up? I have dirt and blood all over me.” I nodded and Delilah helped me get him to our bedroom. She left so I could help him.

“I got it sweetheart, you don’t have to help.” As Dean lifted his arm he winced and hissed in pain. I stood to the side and looked at him. His eyes met mine, but he kept trying to take off his shirt. His jaw clenched in pain. 

I know Dean likes to do things himself, so I didn’t push. I stood to the side until he decided he needed help. 

“Dean, I’m going to go get your medicine. Let me know if you need anything else.” He nodded, standing in the middle of the room clearly in pain. 

I walked towards the kitchen and Delilah stopped me. “Is dad okay?” “You know him. He’s not going to ask for help and he’s in pain. His arm is broken and with his broken ribs he can’t lift his arm. I’m just giving him space until he stops being stubborn and asks for help. So I’m getting his medicine and taking it back to him.” She nodded, “Can I try?” I shrugged, “Sure.” 

Delilah grabbed the medicine and bottle of water. She walked to the bedroom door and knocked. “Daddy, it’s me. Can I come in?” 

“Sure baby.” Delilah pushed open the door and walked in. She gasped when she saw the bruise on his torso. “Oh my goodness, Dad. That looks so bad.” “Eh, I’ve been through worse.” “Here’s your medicine. Mom wants you to take it.” He nodded, took the pills and the water.

“Thanks baby girl.” Delilah stood there still staring at Dean. His body language showed her he was in pain. “Daddy?” “Yes, baby?” “Please let us, or at least mom help you. You don’t have to be Superman all the time. You’re the one who taught me to ask for help when I need it. Please don’t hurt yourself more.” Tears pricked her green eyes and Dean’s heart broke. He hated seeing her upset.

Dean agreed to accept help. Delilah hugged him and walked out. She met me in the hallway smiling, “He’s agreed to accept help.” I chuckled, “Of course he did, because his baby girl asked him.” She laughed, “You’re welcome.” 

“Thank you baby. Go eat and I’ll be out soon.”

When I walked in Dean was sitting on the bed, shirt half off and halfway on. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration and let out a long sigh. “Hey baby. Do you need help?” His green eyes flicked up to mine. I saw sorry, frustration and love. He sighed and stood, “Yeah. I need help.” 

I nodded and walked over to him and helped him remove his shirt. “Now, let’s get you in the bathroom and I’ll strip the rest of the clothes off.” Walking into the bathroom, Dean lightly touched my arm, “Thank you, sweetheart.” I turned, smiled and touched his chest, “No, thank you Dean. For letting me help you. I know it’s frustrating, but it’s okay to ask for help.” 

“I know. I’m just frustrated that I can't do things myself.” “I know you are, but it won’t be too long before you can get back to doing things for yourself. Let me wrap your cast so you can take a shower. Remember you can’t get it wet.” 

I wrapped his cast in plastic and turned on the shower. I turned around and Dean was leaning against the counter. “Can I help you with your pants?” He nodded. 

As my hands touched his hips I felt his body react to my touch. Sliding his pants and boxers down I felt the goosebumps form under my touch. I smirked and bit my lip as I saw his hardened length spring from his pants. 

Dean smirked when he saw the flushed color fill my cheeks, “Like what you see sweetheart?” He winked at me when I looked at him. 

My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel a familiar warmth fill my body. “It’s alright.” I giggled and winked at him. I turned around to test the water and before I could face him, Dean grabbed my waist with his good arm and pushed me in the shower with him. 

My squeals and protests filled the bathroom. “Dean! Stop! I’m still in my clothes.” He laughed and winced in pain, but kept laughing. “Sorry sweetheart, you deserved that.” 

He pulled me flush to him and kissed me, “I love you. Thank you for helping me.” I smiled at him, “Dean, you don’t have to thank me. You’ve always protected us, taken care of us. Now it’s our turn to take care of you. Let me wash your hair and your body. I’m keeping my clothes on.” I laughed. Dean poked his lip out, “Aww come on baby. They can’t be comfortable, all soaked and everything.” 

I grabbed the shampoo and started washing his hair, “I think I’ll manage just fine. You just focus on your shower, mister.” 

He huffed, “Fine, but don’t think I’m not spending time with my girl later.” I rinsed his hair and his eyes looked at mine. His green eyes, darker with lust. Every single time he looks at me like that makes me weak in the knees and I lose all sense of control. 

I grabbed the soap and lathered him up, deliberately running my fingers over his torso and down his body slowly. He groaned and threw his head back when I held his long, thick, cock in my hand. I had to pump it a few times, pulling a deep, throaty moan from his lips. 

“You’re playing with fire, baby.” I leaned up and kissed his lips, “I know. Now rinse off and I’ll help you dry off.” As I stepped out of the shower, Dean slapped my jean covered ass with his good hand. I yelped loudly. Dean laughed, “I told you.” 

My heart fluttered in my chest. The past year has proven that Dean and I can get through anything. Our relationship, our marriage is stronger, but more than that, the love we have for each other is deeper. The playfulness we have makes my heart fill with love and joy. Almost like our love is brand new. 

I stepped out of the shower and stripped my wet clothes off. Grabbing my robe, I wrapped it around me. Dean turned off the water and I grabbed a towel to dry him off. 

When he saw my wet clothes on the floor he wiggled his eyebrows. “Mr. Winchester, your brother, sister-in-law, and our children are out there waiting on us. We don’t have time.” 

He huffed again, “Well, can I at least make you feel good. I mean you did such a great job giving me a shower.” I playfully rolled my eyes and shook my head, “You’re insufferable, later. I promise.” 

“I’ll hold you to that, Y/N.” As I helped him in some clean clothes I looked up at his torso and took in his bruised and battered body. My breath hitched. The past few hours the bruising had gotten worse. I knew it was going to look worse before it got better, but it still didn’t make it easier to see. 

I didn’t realize tears had formed in my eyes until I looked at Dean. His good hand lifted my chin so I could see his gaze, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay.” “I know, but I could have lost you, lost Sam. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost either of you.” The tears slowly fell. Dean wiped them away with his hand. He pulled me into a hug and my hands clung to his shirt. “Shh. I’ve got you baby.” He kissed the top of my head, and the ache in my heart ebbed a little. I got dressed so we could join the others.

Dean and I walked into the kitchen where everyone was eating. Delilah saw Dean and I and smiled. “Hey daddy, I’ll make you a plate. Sit down.” “Pumpkin, you don’t have to. I can make it.” 

Delilah’s face contorted in frustration. She looked at Dean and he looked at me. I put my hands up in defense, “Don’t look at me, she’s going to help her daddy so you might as well let her.” 

Dean let out a frustrated sigh, “Okay. That would be great, thank you Delilah.” She smiled. She knew it was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. 

She made Dean a plate and sat it in front of him. He took her hand gently, “thank you.” She nodded, smiled and sat down. Delilah was definitely pleased with herself. 

The next morning I got out of bed early to start breakfast and coffee. Delilah came in shortly after I woke up and asked how Dean slept. “He was restless. I’m sure the accident upset him a bit more than he’s willing to admit.” She nodded, “Yeah, but at least he’s letting us help him. That’s huge.” 

“It is. Dad has always helped others and he’s always felt if he needs help, it’s a sign of weakness and he isn’t the protector he’s always been. It’s actually one thing he’s working on in therapy.” 

“I’m glad. I’m gonna go shower and get dressed, do you need any help with breakfast before I do?” Her big green eyes sparkling just like Dean’s does in the morning. I shook my head no, “Nope, just go take your shower and I’m sure it will be ready by the time you get out.” 

I heard the shower turn on and a few minutes later it was off. Charlie had walked in the kitchen and sat at the table, looking half asleep and hair in all directions.

“Good morning, kiddo. How’d you sleep?” He yawned, “Pretty good. It was hard getting to sleep.” I nodded and touched his shoulder, “I know what you mean.” 

Charlie and I were in the kitchen making small talk as I finished cooking breakfast when we heard a loud crash. We both jumped, looked at each other and ran towards the sound. 

By the time I had gotten to the bedroom door, Delilah was already in the room helping Dean. “Oh my god, Dean. What happened?” He looked up at me and I saw the tears in his eyes, “I was trying to get dressed. I almost had it but I slipped on my shirt because I couldn’t pick it up.” 

I could hear the raw emotion in his voice. He was frustrated, angry, and I was afraid he was going to shut us out like he usually did. 

Delilah looked at Dean, “Dad, you should have asked for help. You could have hurt yourself worse. I can’t lose you, daddy. I just can’t.” Tears fell from her eyes as sobs left her lips. 

Dean looked at her and then at me. I saw the look of defeat and sadness on his face. He pulled her in his arms and held her. His tears fell too. “I’m sorry baby, I promise I’ll stop being stubborn and ask for help. I don’t want you to worry. I’m so sorry, pumpkin.” 

She leaned back and he wiped her tears, “Okay. I love you daddy.” “I love you too.” 

As she walked past me I touched her arm. A gentle acknowledgement of the pain she was feeling at the moment. Her and Charlie started to leave the room and I looked at them, “Hey guys, give dad and I a minute. We’ll be right there. Go ahead and start eating.” They nodded and walked out. 

I closed the door and Dean sat on the bed, letting out a shaky sigh.

I knelt down in front of him, and positioned myself between his legs. “Dean, please talk to me. Why are you resisting us helping you so much?” 

I took Dean’s hands in mine and he squeezed, “I just feel so…defeated. I don’t want to burden you three. I’ve always been able to take care of myself when I was injured. Why is this any different?” 

“Dean, honey, this isn’t just a scratch or hell, even a bullet wound you can clean out and stitch up. This is a broken arm and ribs. Both of which take time and patience to heal. Broken bones are hard to heal. How about we compromise?”

His eyes flicked to mine, “Okay, I’m listening.” “For heavy lifting tasks or until your ribs heal, let us help you. This includes getting dressed, getting things you might need, and I’m sure once you get baby back you’re going to want to access the damage. Turn that into a project Charlie and Delilah can help you with. But you have to let us help you so you can heal properly, otherwise it will take longer. Once you heal more, we will pull back the help. What do you say?”

Dean sat and thought for a second, “I have a counter offer.” “Okay, what is it?” “I agree to all of that if you promise to help me shower every day, naked and we have occasional shower sex.” 

I smirked, “I think I can live with that counter offer. You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Winchester. Now, let’s finish getting you dressed and go eat breakfast.” 

*Time Jump 4 months*

It was mid June and the sun was shining brightly in the sky. The weather was warm and Dean and I were packing for our trip. We had planned our vow renewal and the four of us, and Bubbles were loading up the car for our trip to the beach. Our family was going to meet Sam, Eileen, Jody, the girls, and some other family and friends at the beach. 

Eileen, Jody and Delilah were going dress shopping with me as soon as we got to the beach. I didn’t want to risk Dean seeing the dress before the vow renewal, so we had an appointment at a local shop on the beach.  

Dean and Charlie grabbed the bags as Delilah and I finished getting last minute things together. Dean, Charlie and Delilah fixed baby, good as new. I heard Dean laughing more and they had an amazing time together while putting her back together again. 

Seeing him with our children, teaching them how to fix the car, and just being together really did something to me. I loved just standing to the side watching them for hours. Dean was amazing at everything he did, but he was an incredible father. 

The car was finally loaded and we all climbed in. Delilah, Charlie and Bubbles in the back, Dean and I up front. I placed my hand on Dean’s thigh and he smirked, placing his hand on top of mine. 

Everything from the past year has made us stronger. Our communication was so much better, Dean was more willing to ask for help, and Delilah was flourishing. 

After Dean’s car accident and he had to rely on us for help, I was so proud of the way he accepted the help. Dean from a few years ago would have shut down, gotten angry and shut us out, but this time he got frustrated, but showed his vulnerability 

Dean turned on the radio and was quietly singing along. I looked over at him and smiled. I always loved hearing him sing. 

The drive to the beach took a few hours. By the time we pulled into the beach house we rented it was dark. The kids had fallen asleep in the back. 

As Dean pulled up to the house I softly gasped, “Dean it’s beautiful.” He smiled, “Sammy helped me pick it out. It’s big enough for all of us to stay in. We have our own private suite and the door opens to the beach.” His grin stretched across his face and his eyes lit up.

We woke the kids up, unloaded the car and the kids settled into their rooms and went to sleep. 

I was unpacking our bags and Dean walked in our room, “Hey, sweetheart. I’m going to take Bubbles out and I’ll be back.” I nodded, walked over to him and kissed him, “Hurry back. I want to take a midnight stroll on the beach with my husband.” He smiled, “That sounds perfect.” 

He left with Bubbles and I continued to unpack. A little while later, Dean returned with Bubbles. “Are you ready, Dean?” He nodded and took my hand.

We walked out our private access and headed towards the beach. I kept watching Dean as we got closer. His eyes wide with excitement and a smile on his face.

The moon was high in the sky and cast a light over the sand. The waves crashing against the shore in a rhythmic way. Walking on the beach I took my shoes off and walked to the shoreline. Letting the warm water roll over my feet and hit my ankles.

Dean stood back and watched, “How’s it feel?” I turned, looking over my shoulder and smiled, “It’s perfect. Absolutely soul cleansing.”

Dean removed his shoes and set them down, slowly walking towards me. He stood beside me and grabbed my hand. I felt him tense as the water rolled towards us, but as soon as the warm water touched his feet, his body relaxed. 

I looked up at him and the moonlight cast a light across his face, causing his eyes to twinkle in the darkness. 

My breath caught in my throat and I felt my heart flutter looking at him. 

He smiled softly, leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. The waves crashing around us. 

When we pulled apart, Dean looked at me and cupped my face with his calloused hands, “You’re just as beautiful as the first day I laid eyes on you. I love you, sweetheart.” I smiled, looking up at him, “I love you too, Dean.” 

He took my hand and we continued walking. 

“Dean, thank you for this. I know this weekend will be incredible being surrounded by our family and friends, but this, just the two of us, is perfect. After everything we’ve been through, getting here to this point is a dream come true. Dean I’ve loved you from the moment I met you and the thought of us almost being over broke my heart. Thank you for being willing to fight with me for us.” 

I looked over and saw tears rolling down his cheek. I stopped, turned towards him and gently wiped them away. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for hurting you and almost costing us our marriage. Your love has never failed me, you’ve never failed me. Even when I deserved to be given up on, you loved me through it. This weekend is my way of showing you and all our family how much I’m willing to continue to fight for us. Thank you for being my wife, my love, the mother of my children, and my best friend. I love you so much.” He placed a kiss on my lips, soft and gentle. 

Dean and I walked back to the condo and he grabbed his shoes as we headed in. Once inside we took a shower and crawled in the bed. 

Dean insisted on leaving the window cracked so he could hear the ocean. I smiled as he pulled me in his arms. He kissed my head. 

I yawned as I placed my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly. Before long we were both drifting off to sleep. 

The next few days were amazing. We spent time as a family, just exploring the beach, swimming in the ocean, and going to restaurants we’d never heard of. 

The night before the appointment at the dress shop, Dean and I found ourselves alone at the condo. 

I stood at the sink washing dishes when I felt Dean’s arms snake around me. One hand slid up my side and he gently moved my hair off my neck. 

His hot breath rushed over my pulse point as his lips ghosted over my skin. I shivered as I felt his lips kiss my neck. I smiled and leaned into him. 

I closed my eyes and let the dish in my hand slide back into the water. 

“Dean, I need to finish these dishes.” He kept kissing up and down my neck, “No baby, we need to take this to our bedroom.” 

I bit my lip and smirked. “What did you have in mind?” I giggled. 

Dean pressed his firm body against mine and brought his lips to my ear, “First I’m going to take your shirt off and your bra. Exposing these perfect breasts to the chilly air. Then I’m going to kiss down your neck to your breasts, where I’ll grab, lick and suck both breasts and nipple. Then when I’m sure you’re nice and hot, I’ll remove your shorts and panties, lay you back on the bed, part your thighs and lick up your pussy to your throbbing clit.” 

My breathing became heavier and I clenched my thighs together, “Dean..” my voice barely a whisper. 

“Yes, baby?” He smirked. 

“Dean, I need you.” Before I could process what was happening, Dean spun me around and pulled off my shirt and took off my bra. 

His lips trailing down my neck. One calloused hand cupping my breast firmly, while his mouth sucked on the other. 

My head threw back in ecstasy as a moan escaped my lips. Dean pressed his body to mine and I felt his arousal growing firm. Between my thighs I felt my body responding to him. The pool of wetness growing and the ache vibrating through my body. 

My heart pounded loudly in my ears as Dean’s hands gripped my body. My brain was completely blank as I tried to form a coherent thought. 

“Dean…” My thought died on my lips as his lips ghosted over mine. He smirked as he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. 

He closed the door with his foot, spun me around and pressed me against the chilly door. I gasped as my naked skin came in contact with the door. Dean took both my wrists in his hands and pinned them above the door. Stretching my torso and exposing my body to him more. 

I bit my lip and my thighs clenched together. A shiver went through my body as the thought of what was coming filled me. 

One of his strong hands held my wrists above my head, while his other started to unbutton my shorts. My breath hitched as his hand slipped into my shorts. 

Dean smirked when I jumped at the contact of his fingers between my soaked, overly sensitive pussy. “Damn sweetheart, always so ready for me.” 

Dean let my wrists go as he guided me back to the bed. I laid down and he motioned for me to scoot to the edge. Dean pulled my shorts and panties down as I laid back and lifted my hips. 

His calloused, strong hands gently pushed my thighs apart, exposing me to him. He looked at me with dark, lust filled eyes and bit his lip. “You ready, sweetheart.” 

My voice caught in my throat, all I could do was nod. His fingers parted my lips and I watched as his face disappeared. The first lick, from bottom to top caused me to squirm and moan. 

Heat and arousal shot through my body as my hands gripped the sheets on either side of me. “Fuck, you taste so good baby.” Dean growled low.

He continued to lick, suck and nibble on my pussy as he pushed me closer to my release. My chest heaving and my breathing faster as Dean continued his pleasuring. 

My hands found their way to Dean’s hair and I pushed him further in. I heard a chuckle and growl from low in his chest. It sent a shiver of pleasure through my core. 

The familiar tightening in my stomach was becoming too much. My legs began to shake as I tried to hold on. The feeling of Dean eating me out was as close to heaven as I wanted to get right now, and damn I didn’t want it to stop. 

Dean felt me resisting and he slid two fingers in and hooked them up, hitting the sweet spot inside me. As he pumped his fingers and continued licking I couldn’t hold back anymore. 

“Dean…I…oh fuck!” I came hard and the sounds of Dean lapping my juices sent me into a tailspin. As I tried to close my thighs, Dean’s grip tightened and he held them apart. Continuing licking and sucking as he pulled another orgasm from me. By the third orgasm, my legs were like jelly, my pussy overly sensitive and Dean’s chin was covered in my release. 

My face was flushed and sweat covered as Dean emerged from between my legs. He leaned forward with a smirk on his face and kissed me. 

His clothed cock pressing against my center. 

I watched as Dean stood and removed his pants and boxers. His hard cock sprang free. The tip is red and swollen, with beads of precum on it. I bit my lip and squirmed as I slid up to the pillows. 

Dean positioned himself between my legs again and took his cock in his hand. He ran the tip over my entrance and I jumped. 

I whined and looked up at him. Without warning he pushed his cock inside me and bottomed out instantly. We both let out a moan. He stilled himself, but only for a second. 

His hips began to slam into mine at a needy pace. His strong arms caged me. My hands on his back and running over his biceps. 

Dean’s cock was buried deep inside me, filling me with every inch and stretching me around him. His lips met mine in a needy kiss. 

Dean kissed down my neck and left love bites to my breasts. His grunts and my moans filled the room coupled with the sound of flesh hitting wet flesh sounded like a beautiful, pornographic symphony that he and I were only allowed to attend. 

His head dipped down into the crook of my neck as his movements slowed. His hips slowly rocking back and forth. He lifted his head and our eyes met. His eyes are still full of lust, but softer now and full of love. 

My breath hitched. This was the part of him I loved the most. His deep love for those around him. Dean was never good at saying what he meant, but damn could he show it, and his eyes always told the best story. 

He placed a soft kiss on my lips, “I love you, Y/N.” His voice barely above a whisper. 

“I love you too, Dean.” 

His hips picked up speed a bit more, slowly pulling out and pushing back in. I felt his stomach tighten as he got closer to his release. “Come on baby, let go for me, Dean.” 

He pumped a few more times and as his release hit, his lips landed on mine. He moaned and grunted on my lips. Coating my walls with his hot seed, his cock twitched inside me. 

When he was done, our breath coming in short pants, Dean opened his eyes as he lifted his head and he looked at me. “That was incredible.” I smiled and nodded. 

Dean pulled out, spilling some of his cum on the bed. He walked into the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean us both up. His touch was gentle when he cleaned my overly stimulated body. 

Dean wiped up the bed and threw the washcloth to the side. Crawling back in bed he offered me his arm. I slid next to him and he kissed my lips. His hand brushed the hair that had fallen in my face away and he smiled. 

“You are so beautiful and I’m thankful you’re mine.” I smiled softly, “Always, Dean. Always.” 

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