#anyways i just really wish i could exist without this shit happening and the fact that shit like this has happened multiple times is horrid

[butch-himbo-king]

giving up being masc in 2024 i can’t handle everyone and their mother deciding they can say whatever unhinged shit their repressed horny brains are saying abt me it’s too much i’m retiring from serving butch realness cause these bitches can’t handle it

[hellaversity]

It really says something that the Helluva Boss fandom is willing to excuse every evil action Stella does and every evil thing she says, especially her abuse towards Stolas and begging for her to have sympathetic traits, yet not once have I ever seen an HB fan desperately wishing for Crimson or Mammon to be portrayed more sympathetically than they are in the show and call it bad writing when they don't show any redeeming qualities. The fandom just accepts the fact that those guys are pure evil without batting an eye. Nobody asks why they're the way they are. But Stella? Nope, there MUST be a sympathetic reason for her being an abusive bitch to Stolas because it's apparently "unrealistic" for a woman to abuse her husband out of spite never mind the fact that those kinds of women actually exist in real life.

These images pretty much speak for themselves.

Crimson, Striker, Mammon, Andrealphus and Valentino are no less two-dimensionally evil than Stella is. What reason did Crimson have to murder his own wife and make his son experience it? Just to traumatize him? The show never really says why he does it, he just does it so the audience can have a reason to hate him. What reason does Striker have to help Stella try to kill Stolas? None, as far as we know. What is there to Mammon's character other than abusing Fizzarolli and being a greedy asshole in general? Why does Andrealphus flirt with his own sister and participate in her scheme to have Stolas murdered by Striker? Because reasons. Why is Valentino a rapist who takes advantage of Angel Dust and sexually abuses him? Just because he can. What makes Stella any different from these guys other than being female?

Fans are just asking for her to be more sympathetic because she's a woman and they can't accept the fact that women are capable of abuse without trying to justify it. The whole "behind every bad bitch is a man who made her that way" bullshit. People who see a woman beating her husband in public and automatically assume he did something to deserve it even if they have no evidence or context for what actually happened. Even though Stella has been treating Stolas like shit before he cheated on her, and he likely wouldn't be sleeping with Blitzø if she wasn't so horrible to him in the first place. He never even puts his hands on her and allowed her to abuse him so that Octavia could live and grow up with normal parents. (As normal as Stella and Stolas could possibly get with each other, anyway.)

Stella made fun of Stolas for not participating in sex with her and laughed about it while he was standing 2 feet away from her, and knew he was there. Whether or not she raped him to produce Octavia is a discussion for another day. If anything, Stolas cheating on her was revenge for treating him like garbage for so many years. She humiliated and embarassed him in public before getting a taste of her own medicine when Stolas does the same to her in return. She wouldn't even let him divorce her because she enjoys being mean to him. I wouldn't mind if Stella was given more charaterization outside of "abusive wife" but honestly? I don't really care if she's given sympathy or not. I don't want to sympathize with her. If Valentino isn't gonna change his ways any time soon, I have no reason to believe that Stella can. FFS Stella apologists make me mad. Even if you type in the "anti stella" tag on tumblr there are more posts defending and excusing her actions than those actually opposing her and saying "uh, no, she's just a cruel bitch" meanwhile if you type "anti Stolas" that's exactly what you're gonna get, pretty much exclusively.

Goes to show how hyper-sensitive tumblrinas are over female characters rightfully being portrayed as in the wrong when they fucking are.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

Can we just talk about how incredibly insensitive and blissfully ignorant some fans are about trigger warnings for these very heavy and touchy subjects? Listen I’ve never been so disappointed in my damn life about this stuff, how are you going to read a comic about all of this heavy stuff that happens to people in real life yet also want people who’ve been affected by said topics to shut up or disengage from the comic completely. Y’all are giving this grown woman too much coddling at this point and it’s distressing, Rachel is a grown woman and it’s not like anyone forced her to put these topics into her story she understands (I hope but I say this loosely) that these discussions can be harder to experience for some people rather than others which is why trigger warnings exist and why you give your millions of fans who all come from very DIFFERING experiences than your own a trigger warning to warn them so their day won’t be demolished.

People have a right to call that shit out and if you don’t need the trigger warning good for you, stop acting like these people are insulting the comic by asking for one. It’s not like people are asking her to make a whole around the world trip in one day they are simply just asking for a damn trigger warning. I’m getting so extremely tired of Lore Olympus fans still not getting or even trying to understand this, these people understand that this comic handles serious things but just because Rachel has been “forgetting” the trigger warnings and they don’t want her allowing her fans to go head first into disturbing content doesn’t mean they want their hand held. Also, for the people saying that they should know when those scenes come up you make no sense anyways because you really can barely tell when scenes like these are coming without a trigger warning. The Demeter thing took me by surprise, so did Hera’s story, so did Demeter’s backstory, so did Hades’ shitty apology, etc. The amount of times that I got blindsided by serious topics such as those being dropped into the comic is way too fucking many to count so please don’t try and hide behind that excuse. There’s millions of fans out there who don’t expect shit like this just because you’ve been studying Lore Olympus and got down the mannerisms of the characters before something disturbing or traumatic is coming up doesn’t mean others do.

I’m sorry if I come off rash or meaner in this post I’m just extremely over this whole thing. I am a person that needs trigger warnings as well and last night I watched a video, thinking it would be funny, that ended up harming me. It was a “health” video and it was basically someone telling the viewers that regular human things happening to you is a sign of a painful death, I remember being so mortified that I felt my blood running cold and my heart pounding in my ears. If you didn’t know I’m very anxious, paranoid, and an overall hypochondriac so I don’t do well with shit like that coming up and randomly making itself known. I know many people probably wouldn’t care but I just wanted to let you guys know why trigger warnings are so useful and important to those that need them. Last night my body entered flight or fight mode just by that video alone and I was absolutely panicked, I was in so much distress and it was all because of one video. It only takes one chapter without a trigger warning to trigger worser things than that and we should all be mindful of that fact.

Again, sorry if all of this is aggressive or mean I didn’t mean anything by it I just wish that fans did better. It’s sad seeing them put down others for genuine concerns and it’s even sadder that Rachel does not do anything about it. There’s only so much toxic positivity you can fill up before there’s no real community left and there’s way too many fans who deserve at least a trigger warning with these things it really doesn’t take long to make and it could genuinely save people from these experiences such as mine.

Moral of the story is if you don’t need trigger warnings don’t bag on people who do, they’re not sensitive you just don’t share the same experiences as them and you don’t know what their background is at all. Be mindful that everyone isn’t you, respectfully.

[thetrashbagswasteland]

Here For Now?

Ah yes, Here for Now, I've totally been working on that one as much as I'd planned and absolutely haven't been neglecting it nope no not me Anyhow, the plot of this fic follows Castis handling the death of his father, dealing with his grief and confusion about what he actually wants to do in life - suddenly fearing that he's going to end up set on the exact same path as his father. It's a heavy and sad fic for the most part, but hopefully all the more fun for it.

Avitus had just been happy to see him return with food, uncaring for anything more emotional than ridiculing a decade-old rom-com he found on the infotainment screen. Then again… maybe he had guessed something had happened, considering that he’d seemed determined to distract him as much as possible- and he’d been all too happy to let it happen between the terrible acting, worse plot and sour booze his better company had brought along.  It’d been nice, for the few hours until they’d given in and fallen asleep. Like just… being on holiday.  Truth be told, waking the next morning hadn’t been all that unpleasant either.  He’d woken first- or so he’d thought until he realised that his friend was indeed awake, belly-down on the bed so as to avoid the sickly sunrise which had woken him. Really though, even though he caught a sliver of black as Avitus eyed him before settling once more, he was loathe to move. Moving meant accepting the day that was to come and there was nothing he wished for less in that moment. Perhaps the fact his friend hadn’t moved either meant he had no desire to face it either though. It was nice though, he decided, getting to exist without either an alarm or interruptions from other occupants to the room. Something he could-  “You think too loud.” Avitus grumbled, stretching and letting his chin come to rest on his pillow, all without looking at him. Of course. There would be no getting used to something he didn’t want anyways, so best not to even consider it. Oh well. “At least I think at all.” Castis pointed out in the spirit of fairness. “As opposed to, what was it? Living fast to die young?” A grunt, then a waggle of mandibles in indecision. “Live fast, die young and most importantly, leave a pretty corpse, Tiz. That bit’s crucial.” He said it with such insouciance that it almost sounded appealing - if not romantic then certainly romanticised. “What’s the point in any of this if s’not to be the hottest fucking corpse in the morgue? Nah- I want people to look at me and go oh what a shame and he was so good looking. Let the fucking hierarchy send me home in a box and use me as a good example of dedication instead.”  “What about love?” He asked, recognising that he was toeing into dangerous territory with answering such a rhetorical question. Better grab his omni-tool band and prepare to be kicked out of bed quickly. All he received in answer was a small huff though. “Have you considered what you’ll do when you inevitably fail to die whilst young, handsome and honourable? What about trying to find someone to be happy with long-term instead?” To give him credit, he did at least seem to consider it - storm-dark eyes open and expression distant - before he shuttered it all behind nonchalance instead. “Fuck that, Tizzy.” Avitus snorted, rolling onto his back so he could find his own omni-tool. “Love an’ long-term shit… that’s for people like you, not me.” And then he was on his feet, stretching up until his bones creaked- which drew a contented little sigh he commiserated with entirely. “Besides, if I live that long and let someone get their talons stuck in me, they’ll start to expect kids and all that sort of horror- which, I repeat, fuck that, Tizzy.” How quintessentially him to equate most peoples idea of a good life to purgatory. Still, as Avitus shuffled off to shower, he took a moment to reflect on it- deliberately dense as they both did their best to be, even he couldn’t miss the quiet threat there; don’t get attached, I don’t want you. Fine. Fine by him. Besides, he reflected as he dragged himself out of bed and set out clothes for the day ahead- the day which was almost guaranteed to be exhausting and emotionally fraught enough without starting it by spooking his moral support away, Avitus was fun in the short term but spending the rest of his life with him? Spirits, he’d be driven insane before he had a chance to get old, wouldn’t he?

[aarcanegrimm]

14. The Dragon Valkyrie

Masterlist

Nebra Silva could have cared less about Noelle going missing some years ago... but is a nightmare all it takes for her to be knocked off her feet just like Nozel had been.

Warnings: swearing, blood, death and panic attack

Note: Someone asked about the dreams/nightmares in a previous chapter... I hope this helps- or not mwahahah

~~*~~*~~*~~

Four Years Ago

~~*~~*~~*~~

Nebra Silva has never thought she was good enough.

Nebra Silva has never been a good daughter.

Nebra Silva has never been a good sister.

She covered her failures as a Silva by looking down on anyone she could: commoners, servants, magic knights and even her baby sister… her baby sister Noelle who looked so much like their mother it hurt. From her sharp features to her determination Noelle was more like Acier than she was, so the day Noelle Silva vanished Nebra thought that it had been a blessing in disguise. She had killed their mother. Had plagued the family with her failures ever since Nozel brought her home- even their father loathed her existence.

Solid could have cared less about their sister or her vanishing from the castle- if anything the boy was more annoyed that he could no longer take his anger out on Noelle- and Nebra had never envied her sister more for disappearing without a trace because now on more than one occasion Nebra found herself with a new bruise or scratch to hide… just like Noelle did.

And then she noticed how Noelle’s nanny, Nozel’s childhood friend at that, crumbled. Cordelia wasted away from the second she found out that the youngest Silva was gone as if it was her fault and as much as Nebra wanted to comfort the woman she didn’t- she couldn’t. So she wasn’t surprised when she left the Silva residence and moved back into the arms of the Vermillion family as she had when she was younger and she wasn’t surprised by the letter now sat on her desk inviting her to a small engagement party- Cordelia was getting married… to Fuegoleon Vermillion of all people. Nebra tutted- of course she would go but… she had always thought it would be Nozel considering she had watched them smile shyly to one another, whisper sweet things to each other and then they just stopped- long before Noelle was gone.

Gone… but not dead and Nebra isn’t sure why but she knows it and has no way to convince anyone else on it because it was like everyone but those present in the castle that day remember. She sucked in a breath and turned to look out the window where Stargazer Lily’s of all colours bloomed and where Nozel sat once a week to clear his mind and ignore the fact that he too was crumbling.

Of course Nozel, her older brother, who she looked up to- who all the Silva siblings had looked up to had never stopped looking for her even when told she was most likely dead. It’s been three years and he is hardly the man he used to be. Don’t get Nebra wrong she cares deeply for him and sometimes she does miss the brat of a sister but she just doesn’t understand what about her vanishing broke him so much.

He was getting paler, bruising beneath his eyes showed his lack of sleep- if not for lack of trying. On more than one occasion she had heard him wake up screaming- on others she had heard him retching until he was in tears- but he wouldn’t get help and he wont tell Nebra anything, nor Solid or Father (who didn’t give a shit anyway). She needed to intervene.

Somehow, even as her own dreams had started feeling a little too real.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Noelle stood beside Nozel, her stance protective in a way Nebra knows that she should have been doing… Nebra should be standing beside Nozel, Nebra should be standing protectively over her siblings, but here she is laying limply in her little brothers arms as her blood pools beneath her.

She can’t even really hear what’s happening anymore, she’s too focused on ignoring the pain and wishing she was fighting.

Next thing Nebra knows Nozel is shielding them in a mercury ball and the magic space is flooding… Noelle’s idea… Noelle’s magic. She’s grown tremendously in her time away from them and Nebra can’t help the overwhelming sense of jealousy… but maybe it was guilt? But why would she feel guilt for the girl who’s birth took away their mother?

Nebra isn’t sure what happened next, her mind was hazy and dull, but she could see Nozel stood over her, just barely hear as he… apologised to Noelle.

Nozel apologising sounded too good to be true regardless of the why. Nebra hadn’t expected to look up and see their baby sister’s eyes go glassy with tears, and a watery armoured dress dripping from her like a waterfall.

Gods she looked so much like their mother.

Nebra found a strength that had been slowly depleting as she tried to rise as Noelle began swaying on the spot. Any other time she would have paid to see her older brother apologise- any other time she wouldn’t have lodged compass needles further into her bleeding out body as she tried to move.

"Brother? Noelle doesn't look so good." Solid said but Nebra’s own ears were ringing and her head spinning as she tried to move from his hold.

Any other time Nebra would have revelled in seeing her sister look so weak- but the sickening crack of her knees against tiles made her wince. Nebra dreaded what she would see when she finally looked towards her baby sister- the one she has detested since her birth. Going by Nozel’s expression however, it wasn’t pretty.

“Noelle!” He’d screamed.

She could feel Solid try to bring her back into his arms, but she was just dead weight now… dead… Nebra was dying and there was no mistaking that.

No mistaking Nozel rushing towards the baby sister they neglected.

No mistaking the snap of Mercury around the Elf in the corner. She was out for good now.

The second eldest Silva whined as she forced herself to roll onto her side, the compass needle seeming to dissipate once Kivn was knocked out completely. She could feel the slick of blood under her palms as she pushed herself, forced herself to see what happened. Solid thankfully decided to help her, bring her closer to their siblings. He was as white as his hair as he did.

Of all the things Nebra thought would frighten her… never once did she think seeing her lifeless baby sister would be one. A deep wound across her stomach to her hip… she felt sick as she reached a blood-soaked hand as if, from this distance, she could grasp Noelle’s hand.

"Nozel what's happening?" She asked, and though his mouth moved she heard next to nothing.

Nebra could barely do more than whine, but she could see the shaking breaths in her little sister’s chest even with her own fading vision. She wasn’t gone just yet… but Nebra knew neither sister would be making it out of this room.

"Noelle I need you to answer me." Nozel shook Noelle, she had a far off look in her eyes as she swayed, muttering ever so quiet, too quiet for Nebra to hear.

"No. No Noelle you didn't kill her! You didn't it isn't your fault!" Nozel wanted to scream as his youngest sister's eyes slowly shut and she began to slump. Nozel moved her so she was lying down, facing the night sky. "Noelle! Please.. I need to fix this; I need to tell you the truth."

It was too late. She wasn't breathing anymore and those pezzottaite pink eyes now dull and lifeless.

"Nozel?" Solid questioned quietly. "Noelle what's wrong?"

"She isn't breathing." Nozel said, hands searching for a pulse in her neck and wrists. "I can't feel a pulse."

"Why are you panicking though? What's she done for the family? She killed mum." Solid snapped... he didn't mean it really but what else could he say he's hated Noelle since she was born but regardless...

"She didn't." Nozel said. "Mum was killed by... something else... I needed to keep Noelle safe, this was the only way... and I still failed. I failed to protect Mum, I failed to protect Nebra and now I've failed to protect Noelle again.”

Nebra didn’t understand. Solid didn’t understand. What was Nozel admitting?

Solid gave a grunt in response- he didn’t care about Noelle, but Nozel clearly did. A tear slipped down Nebra’s cheek as she took in a slow painful breath.

“You didn’t kill her Noelle… a monster did, and I couldn’t… I can’t tell anyone who or what it was… I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry all of you.”

And oh, how Nebra wished she knew all of this before. How she wished she could start again. It was too late now… the room was dark, the sounds muted and her body cold.

~~*~~

Apparently she had been in and out of consciousness for a few days now, her heart trying to give out more than once. Was it terrible that she wished it had, that she had been correct in thinking she was going to die. Even with Solid by her side and Nozel practically living in the nearby med bay bed (according to the soft chatter she heard when she did wake briefly) she felt like shit.

Noelle hadn’t killed their mother.

Noelle wasn’t a monster.

Noelle was dead.

Noelle was dead… dead… dead…

Solid spoke to her, but she couldn’t respond. Wouldn’t respond as she stared weakly at the ceiling of the private room. She felt sick, felt wretched and awful. She had watched as Solid hurt Noelle, had laughed as he did and for what? So Nozel could keep her safe in some sick and twisted way.

Nozel… Nebra dragged her eyes towards the ragged looking man who had only left the room on occasion to see the other Captains. She hated him- hated herself for what they did to their little sister- she would never be able to fix it, be able to be the sister she should have been all because of him and her own selfish anger.

“Nebra.” Nozel had placed a hand in her hair. “Awake now?”

“Where is she?” She rasped out instead.

“The Black Bulls are preparing for her funeral.” He choked on a sob as she brought her eyes back to the ceiling. She said nothing more, barely hinted that she had heard him as Solid tightened his grip on her hand.

The funeral was as dreary as it should be, Nozel knelt in the mud, rain pelting down on them all just as it had when they had mother’s funeral. She hadn’t seen him in the days leading up to this one and it wasn’t like she wanted to see him.

Nebra sat in a chair she had been half carried to not hearing a thing her brother was saying, not hearing anything the Black Bulls were saying either as she stared at the grave, dirt freshly thrown atop a now buried coffin containing her little sister… instead of herself.

She heard nothing as she was taken back to the med bay bed, nurses fretting over her getting a cold as she began getting sleepy. The kind of sleepy that will be dreamless, the kind that had the nurses begin to panic.

Nebra Silva wished she was enough.

Nebra Silva wished she was a better daughter.

Nebra Silva wished she was a better sister.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Nebra awoke with a start, like her heart had been jump started into a racing beat.

She was in her room… her room that used to be right by Noelle’s. She doesn’t remember sleeping here, she remembers being in the med room but why would they bring her here of all places- her room, the one she moved to well after Noelle had been moved to the Black Bulls was on the other side of Nozel’s further down the hallway.

But she knows this room, if she looked out the window she would see the Stargazer Lily’s… in the other she saw the forest and blue, blue skies. In this room she had decorated it with violets and whites, in the other it was blues and creams.

But… no this was her room… was, is, was, is, was… her head began to spin as images and flashes of memory struck her. She needed to see Noelle, needed to make sure she wasn’t buried beside their mother. Why? Why did she need to see that? She wasn’t buried, she wasn’t even here.

What?

Nebra rose and stumbled, her nightgown sticking to her sweat soaked skin as she nearly tripped towards the door, out the door, taking those few trembling steps towards Noelle’s room.

She pressed open the door… the smell of dust tickled at her nose, invaded her senses even though the room looked clean… and young, too young. The cupboard was open, small dresses fit for a child hanging proudly, ribbons and stuffed animals decorating the room. It was getting so stuffy in here, she couldn’t breathe.

She can’t breathe.

She can’t..

She…

She fell to the floor, heaving, trying to catch her breath as her mind and the room began to spin. Noelle, where was Noelle? She was dead- no she was gone, missing- dead… dead…

“Princess.” A voice so distant called, a voice smooth and warm- trying to ground her. “Princess Nebra, hey it’s me Thomas I’m in your squadron placed on guard duty tonight. I need you to focus on me. Please princess focus on me.”

She can’t, she can’t, she can’t.

“Tell me three things you can see.” He said.

“You, bed… floor.” She said shakily.

“Something you can feel.” He continued.

“Feel? Nothing, nothing… cold… the floor is cold.”

“Good. You’re doing so good. Something you can hear?”

“Your… your voice… my voice.”

“Now take in a deep breath, follow my breathing.” Thomas pulled her hand to his chest, taking deep breaths, holding and exhaling, holding and doing it all again.

After a few minutes she found herself leaning against the cold stone wall of Noelle’s room, still shaking but no longer… gone.

“Want to talk or would you rather I walked you back to your room and forgot this happened?”

“Had a nightmare.” She said without thinking as she finally registered the man with the honey smooth voice. Thomas O’Malley- a man with copper red hair, gold eyes and an attitude that she couldn’t help but react to every single time. “Don’t… don’t know what’s real…”

“Want to tell me what you think is and isn’t real?”

“Where’s Noelle?” She said instead and she watched as his eyes softened. Dead? Gone… where was she?

“It’s been three years, two months and nine days since Noelle went missing Nebra.”

“Missing?” She said breathlessly. He nods.

“Come on, let me take you back to your room. I won’t tell a soul I swear it.”

She only nodded, letting him guide her through the hall back to her room.

“How did you…” she trailed off.

“I was making my rounds as you started stumbling towards her room.” He said quietly. “Only I saw you… nightmares make you do weird shit- trust me I know and immediately having a panic attack wouldn’t help you.”

She nods again as he pushes open the door for her, escorting her into the room.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks.” Nebra said weakly.

“You can talk to me if you need to Princess.”

She didn’t answer this time, numbly making her way back to bed as he shut he door on his way out. She would figure this out… later… she just needed more sleep.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Sleep had been of no use.

Hadn’t been for the days, months and years following. She watched as Nozel became a different man, felt how she began to change too and Thomas had kept his promise- he told no one, never even asked how she was outside of squadron meetings… she just didn’t get it.

What was real? Noelle was gone or… was she dead?

Those questions plagued her even now- even though she knew that those nightmares… that’s all they had to be right?

It wasn’t like she could see the future… and time travel certainly didn’t exist… did it?

Nebra sniffed indignantly as she and Nozel strode towards the Captain’s balcony whilst she eyed the other Captain’s and their companions. They all had the usual vice or senior mage by their side but Yami… The Black Bull’s had some nobleman’s son, some weird looking man and a young copper haired girl who truthfully looked like she should be in the exam not with Yami. The Captain’s greeted one another, companions saying hello as well even though that young girl managed to keep well away from practically everyone (Though Leopold certainly tried his best to say hello).

She would have brushed it aside had it not been for the way Fuegoleon practically swung back around to look at the girl… who was now well out of sight… great this exam was coming up to be a fucking weird day.

[lanaevyssmoved]

Its really not your fault im illiterate at reading people so i interperted you posting less about him as not liking him anymore but also i know how shit i am at this so i assumed im Wrong lmao anyway your tags thou!!! So many questions!! If you are up for it and you are okay with talking about this, could you tell us what gale did to you like how did he change you 👀 because 1)i love reading how gale has made people realize so many things about themselves 2) SAME I COULD WRITE A BOOK ON HOW THE RIZZARD CHANGED ME FUNDAMENTALLY HOLLYSHIT anyway thanks for being awesome fray honestly my fav blog and i hope to see more about your ocs and just generally everything ❤️ i hope more people talk to you about gale !!!

hmm.. well, since you're so cute anon

i've just come out of a decently long relationship that wasn't healthy, in fact i came out of it very shortly before bg3 released. throughout that relationship i was too exhausted and drained to.. really care about much for more than a day. i felt like i was broken and my ability to find new special interests (autistic style) was just gone, and i couldn't love my existing ones anymore either.

bg3 is the first thing i've really cared about in awhile, i cared about it enough to start posting on tumblr again, to make gifs and to write for the first time in a decade! and it wouldn't have happened without gale, specifically. i didn't really post about my first tav, i didn't post about other characters, it was my need to see and consume more gale that.. has me here on tumblr right now.

and honestly - afhiri became so important to me because i really enjoyed their dynamic with gale. afhiri wouldn't be afhiri if it wasn't for gale!!! so . like

i don't think gale changed me so much as gale came into my life at just the right time to help me feel alive again and want to have friends again and be around people again. to be in a community and have a shared interest with lots of people. sometimes it gets overwhelming and i wish i was alone again, self isolating again, but then i see a new fat gale fanart and i'm fixed

[the-tubort]

I got bored so I started thinking about the importance of the various Summer Movies for Super Sentai since sometimes they can be completely irrelevant and a wast eof time or will be important to the plot somehow and comeback in a way that makes you wish you saw the movie. (Note I have not seen every Sentai with a Summer Movie and some of these are based purely off of my memory since I haven't rewatched some seasons in forever)

Gaoranger: The Summer Movie is fun to see Gao Knight but literally nothing from it comes back in any meaningful or noticeable to my memory

Hurricaneger: If you wanted to see Tenrai Senpuujin several episodes early, then here you go! This one is just kinda there from what I remember like it's fine but it's placement is awkward and they don't even bother to mention Tri Condor appearing in the movie first at all.

Abaranger: This is a must watch for a multitude of reasons, but the events of this movie do come back during the show in a very big way so it's worth watching.

Dekaranger: It's more Dekaranger go watch it for fun. Dekaranger doesn't even have that big of a plot in the first place so this is just a lot of fun so watch it

Magiranger: This expands more on the lore of the world and does some foreshadowing for other stuff in the show but isn't extremely necessary. Watch it if you want to see Hikaru get bullied for no reason

Boukenger: From what I remember of Boukenger, this movie just advertised that the machines 6-10 could in fact combine and then added another Precious that did not really get talked about again

Gekiranger: I haven't seen all of Gekiranger but I have seen the movie and it debuts an amazing mech form that does come back quite often but it's not like this movie invented completely if that makes sense

Go-Onger: The series takes like two episodes of its runtime to literally bring back the movie characters and general plot so yes you do need to watch it

Shinkenger: The Summer Movie toy appears quite often in the show and post series content so yes do watch this. It's good regardless of its status as necessary anyways one of the best summer movies

Goseiger: The Summer Movie toy shows up I think a totalc of one extra time in the series and they don't even bother to reference that it came from the movie like at all its honestly not worth the time

Gokaiger: it's a fun time but nothing that happens in the movie changes or develops anything we didn't already know about the cast and their end goals. (Watch the vs Gavan movie though that shit is fire)

Kyoryuger: The Summer Movie cast, toy, and villain all come back in the main series and while they do provide minor context it's good to know the full movie regardless. It's also just super fun anyways

ToQger: not super necessary since it never gets directly mentioned until a Vs. Movie but this is genuinely one of the best movies they've made and when you watch ToQger along with this movie you'll understand

Ninninger: The most I can say about this movie is that the mech shows up the Vs ToQger movie for like 2 minutes which was neat

Zyuohger: This movie was cool but the mech and general plot I wanna say only get brought up like once for a quick reminder that it existed I think? Also Yamato gets beaten up a lot in this movie as is Zyuohger tradition

Kyuranger: Genuinely I was so excited to see the summer toy in this movie and I could not tell you a si gle thing that happens and neither can the cast of characters cause they never once bring it back

LuPat: Surprisingly yes this is necessary for something that happens at the end of the show. If you know, you know.

Ryusoulger: This is one of the more recent seasons + movie I watched and quite honestly I could not tell you much of what happens in the movie because for as much build up in the series led up to it, it impacted the story so minimally the show does a perfect job of summing it up without wasting the time it took to watch the movie. Whatever lore they dropped in the movie, you get in the show but at least seeing the lore in action is cool instead of not seeing it

Kiramager: Okay technically not a Summer Movie due to COVID but it counts in my heart forever. This is somewhat necessary they built it up a bit with the main villain being name dropped before her appearance and then they reference it in the literal last episode but its not like you're missing much if you choose to not watch it. I do recommend seeing it though for a certain scene. If you know, you know.

Donbrothers: The most recent movie and honestly I could not tell you if it was necessary at all considering the show isn't over but Inoue did bother to spend a whole two minutes to reference the movie happening and a single scene referencing it did happen so yknow. Go for it. I will say it is fucking hilarious and I couldn't breath at some points

[tenebrius-excellium]

I love your post about backend motivation vs frontend motivation in the HTTYD series!!! I’ve always had a bit of a problem with the sequels (especially the third movie) that I could never put into words, but the difference in motivation is EXACTLY it. The Hidden World in particular had a specific ending in mind, wich isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but their solution was to force the ending into existence instead of letting the story naturally build up to the ending. And you can feel the story straining soooooo much when Toothless acts like a dog for twenty minutes or Grimmel does something simple/obvious that the narrative treats as an ingenious act of strategy. It’s just not genuine! The characters simply wouldn’t act like that, but the writers let plot dictate characters instead of the other way around, and it’s just. so disappointing. There has to have been a way to keep the natural tensions and eventual triumphs of dragon/human bonds without resorting to flattening everyone’s character and taking the story in a weird, half-baked direction.

————————————————————————————-

Oh my gosh B. You’re still there??????? THANK YOU for being faithful to my blog even tho I’ve not really posted anything proper in ages!!! I’m so happy to hear from you!!!

I’m glad you liked my post XD Ok so. I remembered that what I tried to express is called “Watsonian vs. Doylish” interpretation in fandom (based on this post), or easier, it’s about giving in-universe explanations vs. ex-universe explanations for something that happens in the plot. The actual literary terms according to Gérard Genette for that would be “intra-diegetic” vs. “extra-diegetic”. 

The specific difference the terms “back-end vs. front-end motivation” makes, seems to be the phenomenon that building a story from the start allows it to better make sense inside the universe, whereas building a story from its ending reveals the circumstances that the author found themselves in when creating it.

Anyway so what I always found strange is that Httyd2 had all those same problems you named, yet no one talks about that and only bashes on the third movie! Wanna enlighten me on why the second movie worked for you???

Ok so this is spontaneously going to turn into the “Ooc Hiccup post” that I promised at the beginning of the year. I hope you’re ok with that. 

WHY IS HICCUP OOC IN HTTYD2?

because his new conflict (”becoming Chief”) was pulled out of thin air and wasn’t already an established extension of Berk’s situation. (a part I always loved about Httyd1 was that Hiccup wasn’t made out to be a Disney Princess who would have to face the duty of leading eventually. I expected the question of succession to be handled far more casually - that someone who wanted to be worthy could be Chief on Berk, not because Hiccup was expected to continue Stoick’s legacy. In fact I wish Stoick would have let him go rampant with the smithy and all his crazy inventions, making him Gobber’s successor first - since Gobber is also canonically older than Stoick - and lining Astrid up to be the next actual Chief. There could have been a sudden plot twist where Astrid realizes she doesn’t want to do it alone and that she needs Hiccup in this with her. It would have made them the ruling couple in a different way.)

because the movie made him immature on purpose so it could justify slapping the “necessary” growth arc on him. (Look, Hiccup has always been reckless and a little bit too trusting when presented with danger, but he was never ignorant of a certain reality or too stupid to see error in his ways. Httyd2 depicts him as a naive dragon geek who can’t see past the destructive potential this has on the humans around him. Eret has had a shit life and a dark past. Drago has his reasons for what he does. Yet Hiccup is far too quick to ignore the trauma that the tribes of the Archipelago suffered because of the dragon plague, and simply forgives his mother despite the fact that she chose to save dragons over raising her own son. It’s all in the name of dragon welfare now and that is just not Hiccup. Og Hiccup took time to engage with Astrid’s valid scepticism. Og Hiccup killed the Red Death to save his tribe. He did not attempt to train that one, if you get what I’m saying. The dragons were never pets.)

because Stoick died only so he wouldn’t get in the way of Hiccup’s leadership. (After all that happens, Hiccup - to me - hasn’t suddenly evolved into a wiser or more experienced person. He just righteously got his ass kicked for the stupidity that was forced onto his character. He then becomes Chief not because he has learned much from the situation, but because Stoick is now dead. It’s true that Hiccup says “Sorry, Dad” to the funeral pyre, but it is never specified what he’s sorry for. To me, he does understand that he got his father killed, but he doesn’t get a grasp on why. He hasn’t the faintest notion of what Stoick did for him, to what extent his father came after him. There was desperation in Stoick to save his son. And Hiccup never feels this guilt much. It is then very convenient that he can freely lead the people of Berk and appear as a competent Chief simply because there is no more Stoick to disagree with him. I loved the version in the books where Hiccup becomes king and Stoick as well as Valhallarama are both alive and well to see it!!!! And Stoick, Chief of the Hairy Hooligans, has to take a step back and let his son shine.)

Right. So that’s that. The second point is by far my greatest criticism regarding Httyd2. Hiccup, in my opinion, was always balanced between the needs of dragons and humans. He is not a “dragon geek”. It simply so happened that a dragon became his best friend because no one else wanted to be his friend at first. Movie!Hiccup is an “invention geek”!!! The time he spends building stuff in the smithy is so important to his character! He doesn’t fix stuff by talking. He fixes stuff by building tools first and explaining them to everyone else second. That’s how I’ve always understood him. Httyd3 Hiccup partly returned to that focus with his fireproof armor, the fully developed flightsuits and the docking contraption for ships that he made on New Berk. The Hiccup I know acts more, gains emotional insight by observation, and talks less.

Of course I agree with all of your criticism of Httyd3. Yes the movie felt strained. But I admit that because I enjoyed Hiccup’s hesitant yet determined character again, I can overlook its flaws much easier than the flaws of Httyd2.

Let me know what you think!

[asknarashikari]

I love the fact that Sara's the one who vocalized the stereotypical "but you can't go, what about me" line that's usually a line for men to invalidate the girl's wishes. [and props to Sara for realizing that Neon's the one suffering and she's forcing her]

and then we have Keiwa who asks if its what she wants.

Do you think if Neon answered yes to that question, would he have respected Neon's wishes? He would, wouldn't he?

Because when Neon answered, she doesn't know, Keiwa gives her another option other than to leave for the future and let people forget about her.

Instead of discussing the divisive character that is one Azuma Michinaga, why don't we have a discussion about the biggest Taneko crumb we got :p

Hmm, I think it was an interesting take on the trope, but mainly I feel like it was a way to demonstrate the two sides that Neon's wish will affect.

On Sara's side, it shows how someone's personal happiness can upset/hurt someone, but that shouldn't stop them from doing what they must to gain that happiness. That the happiness she gets from Neon's videos shouldn't come at the expense of Neon's own happiness.

On Neon's side, it shows that someone like Sara, who only really knew her superficially until then, could still genuinely care about her and be upset that she wants to be forgotten. She simply assumed that Sara could just find someone else to fill the void she leaves behind.

I love Keiwa's entire response, really. It brings home the fact that the circumstances of Neon's existence doesn't matter to him, much like how "Ace is [still] Ace" to him (before shit went down anyway).

(The taneko crumbs in this episode were excellent!)

He would probably understand if Neon was resolved to seeing it through, even if he's upset about.

That said, I also think he picked up on the fact that Neon didn't give much thought for what would come after the wish, what would happen after she basically unpersons herself. Keiwa is far more observant than people give him credit for, and he probably noted that she claims to be making the wish so people wouldn't worry about her, without ever speaking about herself.

He made Neon think about what she wants for herself. Reminded her that she can stand to be a little selfish and want some happiness for herself, and that there are people who don't see her as a replacement for a dead girl or an ideal placed on a pedestal or a pawn in business dealings.

(Also, lmao Keiwa just straight up offered her to move in with him... oh this oblivious tanuki probably didn't realize the implications)

[misc-obeyme]

hello hello, its sibling angst anon again ^^ i loved your response so pls dont apologize for the long ramble, bc i get like that about it too!! also, im glad you liked my song recs <3

speaking of those sibling slideshows i mentioned, for some reason tiktok has filtered them out so when u look them up, they dont show up??? you just kinda get them on ur fyp one day. or atleast thats what happens to me. but if u look up sibling webweaving here on tumblr, ohhh boy. its basically an amalgamation of different types of media be it poetry, song lyrics, shows and movies, and book excrepts all packaged as one that pertain to a theme. my fav is those about mothers and siblings, so unequivocally human. its like walking down a museum tbh.

and agh, i loved your thoughts on the demon bros sibling dynamics. plus yeahhh, its kinda hard to take anything seriously since it is an otome game, BUT who says u cant come up with your interpretations and thoughts? whos gonna stop you? anyway, each brother has a level of depth that is screaming to be fleshed out, but its all very surface level on game. belphegors burdening shame and regret from watching lilith die in front of him, and by extension beelzebub having the same feelings and/or his own guilt. (i remember belph talking about his trauma and the immersion immediately breaks off when an option pops up on the scream, "ask him to kiss you." LIKE. place and time!) asmodeus and lucifer, their entire relationship T_T speaking of which, satan and lucifer?! they're brothers, or say they are and the rest just kinda go with it. but does no one else wanna bring up how satan was even brought to existence? he was literally birthed from luci's wrath during the celestial war. thats like, a gateway for someone to write a long philosophical analysis about him and what it symbolizes. aghhudhwdhwhd i wish i could say more, but i'm literally out of words rn. if i was mc, i'd have to fight everyday to keep it together without breaking down and crying about this. espeically having to live under the same roof as them...ooofff

speaking of complex siblings dynamics, have you see succession? its a show on hbo. its about an ultra rich and powerful family that is ultimately, dysfunctional. theres four siblings and their relationship mean sooo much to me. i wont drop any spoilers just in case you dont know anything, but when i say dysfunctional i meant it!! one of the things i like about this show is that it doesnt have any flashbacks or show the backstories for most of the characters, rather they kinda drop pieces of information randomly and you just go ??? that happened ??? youd think it wouldnt be a good storytelling strategy bc how are you going to emotionally connect the story to your audience? but somehow, the show does it really well. for example, one of the brothers, roman, was heavily abused. and sometimes one of his siblings would go, "yeah i remember when dad used to heavily beat the fuck out of you" offhandedly, like its a cute little fun fact. and youre sitting there like....when did THAT happen??? ofc they wouldnt show it, but if you watch how roman and his father interact on show (roman is so submissive and scared next to his father) it starts to make sense. its like the "show dont tell" but they switch around to "tell and show." subtle interactions like that fully exposes a characters psychology. subtle body language goes a long way. theres also the eldest brother connor, whos seen as the father figure bc their real dad is so neglectful. but tbh connot gets shit on a lot and uuyfuefehfe theres more. i would talk about this all day. sibling angst got me on a chokehold.

anyway, sorry if i made 0 coherent sense but heres the end of the ramble T-T have a good day :3

(if i come back, can i be  🧬 anon?)

Welcome back! And of course you can be 🧬 anon, I will add it to the list!

Oh man, so I did a search for sibling webweaving and I was like woah what is all this lol. I had no idea there was a term for stuff like this, but I'm fascinated! I must not be getting the TikTok videos... admittedly my use of that platform is limited lol.

The thing about the otome game not delving into things means that we all get to speculate and come up with whatever we want. It's a blessing and a curse lol. On the one hand, I like being able to come up with my own interpretations. But on the other hand, it'd be nice to have just a little more depth that what we have.

I have thoughts about Belphie and specifically what happened in the OG with him. That was definitely a situation of, there is so much more going on here than they're bothering to get into. I also get that they can't really do a ton of that, partly due to the medium and partly due to the amount of characters they have to deal with. Like I think they can only choose to flesh out certain characters and the rest kind of end up on the back burner. Which is annoying because there's so much potential for so many amazing stories!

I also have a lot of thoughts about Satan and his relationship to Lucifer and everybody. It's like they give us just enough to make the story dramatic, but in the end everybody loves each other and so on and so forth. I'm not saying both Satan and Belphie shouldn't be able to reconcile what happened to them and move on, but it just happens so fast. It seems too easy. So I kind of headcanon it as, they hide everything. Not just those two, but all the brothers have a certain level of trauma that they just bury deep or at the very least don't display in front of MC. I know they make MC out to be the demon therapist, but nobody resolves their issues in one session and that's all they're normally limited to. But of course they don't have time to get into things that deeply in a mobile otome game lol.

I have not seen Succession! It sounds pretty intense. I think it's always interesting when media use different techniques to tell their story. Of course I have very little knowledge of how TV scripts are written, but for story writing, the way a character reacts can imply all kinds of past history, even if you don't know exactly what happened. Flashbacks are helpful, but I think it's interesting to have a bit of a mix. A character is always going to tell the story of their past a little differently than how it actually happened. And I find that it can reveal a lot about character just to see what they change or leave out when telling it. Of course, who they're speaking to can affect that as well. But it's definitely an interesting concept!

No worries, you made plenty of sense lol! You are always free to come back to my ask box if you so desire! <3

[mildew-spirits]

TW: RAMCOA, PROGRAMMING

Wow. Three posts in one night. How "cool."

I went from feeling like an emotional light switch that got turned off into being an angry light switch who's pissed off at the world. One week. One word. That's all it took for our life to go to even more shit then it was. That's all. All it took. And now our life is completely changed. I want to go back, I want to go back to when no one knew me or any of my sidesystem existed. I want to go back to before we did research. I want to stop ourself. But who am I kidding we would've still done it anyway. We have questioned many things over the past few years especially ever since system things came to light. Some things we have been right about and some things we have been wrong about and just went on with our day. I wish this was that. I want it to be that so badly. I want to wake up tomorrow and go "oh my bad". But I can't do that and neither can anyone in my system who knows do that. I want to go back and stop this. Yes, it would've happened at one point or another I know that. But why now? Why now? Why did we have to see that God damn post that mentioned programming? Why did we have to have the gut feeling to research it? There were signs. There always were signs. I feel like everyone always says that once they make a new discovery. There was signs. A few of us had suspected religious trauma. Another few of us had suspected sexual trauma on top of what we already had. We tried to think about it and wondered why the dots weren't connecting. It was because we didn't get the whole picture. I hate this. I hate this a lot. From what I've gathered, we can't even talk about this without feeling screwed one way or another afterwards. But we still try. We still did it just to have proof something was in fact happening. I want to go back to being one of the innocent ones who doesn't know. I wish we were educated or warned before researching. It still would've gone to shit but surely it would've taken longer then a week. Instead we had no warnings, no nothing. Just a morbid itch and curiosity to keep going. And that's on us right? I'm pissed at us, I'm pissed at everything. A WEEK AGO WE WERE OKAY AND LIVING LIFE AND NOW ITS BEEN FOREVER WRECKED. We had trauma before this. We were always confused on why some of those were just apart of collective memory and some could even recall it without hiccup. We felt it was weird because for a system as complicated as ours surely there'd be more to the story. WHY DO YOU GET TO WRECK OUR LIFE IN JUST A WEEK. 4-9. 4-9 is when he had easy access to us. 4-9 is when our parents willingly let us go with him under the guise we were with a trusted adult. Yeah, sure, after the almost wreck (at 7?) it was touch and go, but still had access. "He used to take you everywhere" ... She. She had shown signs of programming. She was our best friend for years. How did we not know. Almost felt like she unknowingly projected it onto us. So many things felt weird. And we just. Went through life. We trusted him. We were fine. A week ago. We were fine. It's not fair just how fucked up our life could get in a week. Growing up, we had this weird social anxiety around adults, especially around ones we didn't know. Our voice would automatically go a higher pitch. It still does. I wonder if that's connected. I'm not going to be that person who pins all their issues on their latest discovery as I know that's simply not true. But I really do have to wonder what all is connected in this web of fuckery. So many unexplained things I wonder just how many can be explained now.

[bitegore]

Top 5 song to have a break down to plz?

In no particular order, and due to my own particular flavor of brain stuff:

"From Now On We Are Enemies" by Fall Out Boy This is an older breakdown song for me that someone else reintroduced me to recently! Back in the ancient days of yore, when I was a younger and less functional beastie, I wanted to be really good at everything I did not for attention (though that was in there too) but so that I could die at 25 and not be immediately forgotten by the rest of the world. Reasonable ass goal, of course. I was also, like, in the gifted-kid track for academics and winning awards for my art locally and playing instruments and singing music and stuff and I was just old enough that some of my peers also started doing that and doing better than me. Felt kind of bad, as you would imagine; like I was being upstaged. Anyway, this song is about one of Mozart's peers, a fellow composer, wishing bitterly to be better than Mozart despite the fact that Mozart was essentially a child prodigy and this peer was like... less of a prodigy. Something about losing the spotlight and falling behind and never ever catching up just gets to me. I feel like some of us can relate.

So Long Sentiment by Celldweller - Nightcore Remix It's got to be the nightcore; for some reason the OG never hits me. I have no idea why this one gets to me since I'm not allowed to read those particular processes but they sure exist. I bawl my eyes out to this song every time I get a weird desire to put it on. Immediately after this song in the playlist I listen to it on is HHGREG PANASONIC BLU RAY 99 DOLLARS. This is like not a normal amount of tonal whiplash, but it's really funny to be sobbing like a baby while HHGREG PANASONIC BLU RAY 99 DOLLARS plays in the background so I haven't changed it yet.

Black Honey by Thrice "I fucked up and I'm so fucking stupid about this shit that I'm gonna do it again on purpose and be surprised at the consequences staying the same or increasing," the song. excellent at kneecapping me whenever i damage or destroy a thing I own that I need to avoid doing that to, which happens about once a week. Plus it's like a really good Motormaster song. It's so that guy.

Anchor by Thank You Scientist Glad to see that instead of dealing with life being hard, you've decided to lay down and die; can I interest you in some music about that then? This song makes me want to swallow shards of broken glass and I mean that in a good way but, like, damn. > "This punishment doesn't fit the crime > Torture, without change > More of the same > Stop closing open doors > Cancel my tomorrow > Got no chance > Finding comfort in denial > Got used to the mess" > "Sorry, I can't take it anymore, I swear > I swear this time I'm getting back to good > When will I > Wake up > Will I ever learn > It's just the same old story > Same old ball and chain" Like. Augh. Stoppit. Fuck off. Who said you could say this to me.

Nobody Praying For Me by Seether listen it's really hard to take yourself seriously listening to this song but it's also so dramatic and self-efficacing at the same time that it's good for sort of snapping you out of it while not making you feel like you're being forced to remember that it doesnt matter, since that doesn't help. but like > "Cause if I stand up, I break my bones > And everybody loves to see a forward fold > Ain't nobody giving up > Cause nobody gives a fuck" The way this dude sings it, it's like almost a joke. And like frankly having a breakdown is practically like a fucking joke like. Come on. You are crying while probably wearing half of a pair of pants and have ice cream on your tits and something stupid as fuck just happened and now you're sitting like, on the floor or some shit. Get up, dumbass, no one's paying attention and the audience is only gonna laugh. Lmao. Anyway I like it.

[superdonuthideout]

I'm done with my in denial and OA state. I cant possibly read another book without talking about this bad boy. Buckle up and let's get into it.

I'm really annoyed by how that bomb keep me from remembering my previous feelings for this book, I even forgot the fact that he's a total pain slut (I don't wanna use the word but that sounds good than a sadist and a masochist). I cannot let this happen so I've calmed down, now let's talk about the first thing, he is kidnapped. Period. That guy is a victim of sex trafficking and he's being trained by HER to become a sex slave. The book however didn't get into detail on how you could do that but you get the idea, torture and lots and lots of hand and blow 👩‍🔬, the request is for the slave to be virgin so yeah, you get it. There were no actual contact between flesh BUT that doesn't mean there's no other contacts. That's not the point though, istg if you're sucked deeply by the plot it's hardly noticeable. Let's focus on his thoughts and her method, this book very well written! Every word fits each other, they are so perfect together, it's like the author used a proper adjective to describe the noun without much restriction and restrain. It's just perfect✨ The way the scene and actions were described is just magnificent ! even the smut and I do not mean it in a way that is sensual or something but you just noticed the words, how the sentence is structured beautifully. It's. very. well. written. Now, let's move on to her method, it was very detailed. The first thing she used against him and that truly fucked his mind, the psychological damage is there. It's a total tutorial I would say, so y'all better not get into my bad side🤭 start tapping my shoulders lightly and shower me with good affirmations coz I'm a fucking sucker of compliments HAHAHAHAHHA. Charot. Anyways, if I were to kidnap someone, I know exactly what to do to fuck them in the head, the space, the silence, the darkness, the frequency. I'm just joking, don't take that seriously😭😭😭 but I might try it out in myself to see if it actually works and watch how damaged i'd be then how I would fix me coz I'm a fucking art myself👁👄👁 (this thought is very weird and alarming HAHAHAHHA) ANYWAYS, next topic is.....i think that's it, there's still a lot going on inside my head but I'm too lazy to type it out for others to read, just read the book. Through this experience, I think I know what to add on my novels to align it with my 'taste'if I plan to write something in the future. I hope I do coz I plan to marry writing. I've been considering it with serious thoughts and deep reflection (this is funny HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA)

I'm done bubbling with this half baked spoiler and conclusion, I wish I could write more but I'm too lazy, do read the book. It's not for the faint heart but I managed so you'd do well. You might even accept it without much thoughts and open mind. Just let me remind you that the girl will fuck him from behind with some toys shit. And I fucking hate that!!!! How i wish it didn't exist. It would have been perfect. It haunts me big time, she even described how she played with his hole 'til it's swollen and red. Fuck. Now my blood is boiling again😭😭😭😭😭

I tried to see this in bright light and it worked, if I continue to dwell on it I'm might consider adding it to my bucket list with anticipation and excitement, let's not get into that. I would love to keep myself sweet and innocent, so let's get into this fix mindset and stay with it, it's for the betterment of my future👁👄👁. See? I'm loving myself real bad.

Have a nice day ahead people.

PS. Don't get me wrong. I love this book so much.

[alonelymidwestdreamer]

fuckin peachy

———

i really thought i could do it

i dont know why

well, no

fuck that

i do know why

i thought i could get my shit together, finally, because people are supporting me

because im not keeping myself in a shitty relationship

because im forcing myself to sit with just myself and learn to be ok with that

because im trying to be a good person

because i was making fucking progress

i was taking steps

someone, maybe everyone, is gonna say that progress isnt linear

but have you ever been forced off road after just getting off a detour, just getting used to a nice straight highway

it doesnt still feel like progress

in fact, it feels like why not take another drink, why not feel good instead of crying over a cancellation

it feels like why not pick that pocket knife back up, why not take a hammer to your knuckles till theyre all purple

why not see if that one girl you ruined ur life for over and over finally has u unblocked

it doesnt feel like progress

it feels like derailment

im losing my fucking mind

ive been watching this show

its sadder than hell but i can’t stop watching it

it reminds me of that girl who i, yk, ruined my life over

she was a pisces

it reminds me of her because it reminds me of all the trauma she sat through with me

it reminds me of being homeless and of my parents fights and my fights with my parents and just

everything

it reminds me of things i buried pretty damn deep

this show triggers the fuck out of me

i cant sit with myself reliving this shit, but she sat through all that with me as it happened

she was the only constant in my life for so many years

but me wanting to get better was the breaking point

that was the line

we used to scream at each other

shed trigger me on purpose when i made her mad

how fucked up is that

but when i wanted to fix myself, when i wanted to create a life that could hold her and i both in it without all the fucking anger

that was that

she still has me blocked

i havent told almost anyone, although now youll all know, but i made a new account, just to try to talk to her

when someones in ur life for so long and so deeply it just feels wrong when they leave

or maybe thats just me

i hadnt talked to her in like two years?

i just wanted to know what her life looks like now

she did not believe that

and shes still mad at me

ig i never realized she ruined her life over me too

when i asked how she was she said “what are you drunk or something?”

i really thought i could do it, i thought i could be ok

i just wanna get drunk

all the time

i wish i was drunk when i messaged her

i wish she was right

i wished a little too hard ig cuz i did start drinking again

i keep pretending its not all i think about

its not that serious, cant be

if it was that serious someone would notice right?

being drunk doesnt even feel great anymore

but if im gonna fuck up by just existing, at least i get an excuse if im shitfaced

i tried so hard

i mean im still trying

but every day i get closer to doing it again and again and again

isnt that embarrassing?

i dont like it, i dont want to

i just also dont like me very much

and who would even care

no one noticed the first time until i told them, i think honestly everyone preferred me buzzed all the time until they knew thats what it was

no one knew i was overdosing in bledsoes room either tho

sitting behind keleah in college algebra trig

the room spinning so violently i thought i was dying

i guess i was dying technically

after, i sat in the rose garden with someone and tried to breathe

i walked my siblings home

i thought i was gonna die

no one even knew

i went home and threw up four or five times

i threw up so much i thought i was gonna suffocate cuz i couldnt catch a breath

my mom didnt even ask why i threw up

so at least its just drinking again

and its not as frequent anyways

fuck i really was doing so good

i swear i was

[ichayalovesyou]

El Hotel De Los Secretos Ep. 9 Reaction

Now that I’ve found a source with English subtitles things are a LOT more clear, still, imma keep doing these anyway because I must make the content I wish to see in the world, right @seismologically-silly ?

Julio narrowly dodged being accused as being Pascual’s accomplice. Diego demands he leaves Pascual to rot, Julio is frantically trying to wash the blood off of his hands, having failed to get answers from his sister’s lover in time.

Teresa is definitely continuing to push the narrative that Diego is in love with her on Isabel. However I’m not sure she’s quite stupid enough to believe that. Considering what was revealed and the fact Julio got there first, Diego pulled the trigger before Pascual could get the truth out.

During Ayala’s interrogation, Diego is trying to frame the situation to imply that Pascual might’ve have also been responsible for Ximena but he’s not buying it. Ayala’s also definitely got an inkling that Diego killed Oascusl in cold-blood after Isabel was safe (real astute this guy! I like him!)

Poor Lupe is trying SO HARD to connect with his son (Jacinto, the gardener boy). Obviously could tell he’s crushing on somebody and is trying so hard not to ask too many questions and failing. Lupe’s a big softie fr fr I like him a lot.

Teresa is trying to get Ayala off the case with her high falootin’ friends. Isabel gets a hug from Julio and is more determined to figure out what happened to Cristina after watching Diego murder Pascual in cold blood. Revitalizing Julio’s investigative spirit by suggesting they search Pascual’s room before the cops do.

Shit Garrido had frisked Pascual’s room before Julio or Isabel have gotten to it, the arrangement with Teresa’s judge friend is to find Pascual guilty of both Ximena and Cristina’s murders.

OOH! Ayala is gonna question Julio and I really hope it leads to some collaboration because ultimately they both want the same thing: The Truth.

Felipe is free… yay… (I hope Andrés gets to beat his ass fr tho) hooray for celebrating your freedom all by yourself dickweed.

Julio is actually being honest with Ayala for the most part! However, he is holding back on the whole “Diego and Pascual had previously existing conflict bit.”

Yay Isabel getting peer pressured into kissing her monstrous fiance, pobrecita.

Oh shit I think Felipe might’ve given himself alcohol poisoning, I mean, he’s an assjoñe but I do feel kinda bad for him.

Ángela just confronted Belén about Andrés not being the father of her baby, YIKES. On the one hand Belén is all like “Andrés can make his own choices, so if he wants to give me things-“ bleggggh shut up girl.

If I didn’t know she wasn’t actively taking advantage of him (and gonna stab him in the back, thanks Teresa). I’d be on her side more than Ángela’s. But Ángela is DEFINITELY right about her boy and I’ve seen too many situations like the one Andrés is in not to know any better.

I don’t know if there’s much Ángela can do to protect him from Belén without alienating her son from her though. She might even do just that if she thinks that what it’ll take. That woman’s got a steel jaw for sure.

Julio tried to flirt with Natalia to get the laundry basket with Pascual’s clothes, it did NOT work. Boy this scrappy raccoon man thinks he’s bigger than he is in pretty much EVERY aspect doesn’t he? Listen guy, I know you pulled some Aladdin shit on Isabel and bullied Andrés into liking you also, but that shit ain’t gonna work on everybody! 😂

Julio did something nice for Andrés and he was IMMEDIATELY suspicious, he’s learning lmao. But also, has NO idea just how much Julio cares about him. I hope he finds out soon, this boy needs to get told ‘I love you’ by people who actually mean it a LOT more (looking at you Ángela, Julio and Isabel!). Maybe he’d be less of a people-pleaser if he did.

All that being said I don’t know WHY on EARTH Julio thought Andrés could successfully schmooze/trick anybody into anything, not even Natalia lmao. He immediately got caught in his attempt to get the laundry from her by his own MOM. 😂

You know, the nervous breakdown that lead to Sofia’s accidental miscarriage aside Alfredo seems like a relatively good guy. Kind of a ditz with self-esteem issues but he wanted to give his wife credit for an idea she had despite her insisting otherwise and cares about her. The bar is really on the floor for the rich ppl in this show but still!

On the flip side, Diego and Belén are still fucking around. Granted, he’s being awful and violent with her as usual. Not to mention the severe power imbalance. He is right about one thing tho, she is so definitely not in love with Andrés and prefers him. She’s still salty about the engagement to Isabel and taking out her frustration with Ángela on their “relationship”. Girl, what did you think was gonna happen, you’d marry above your station if he got you pregnant, he give you rich ppl presents? Hm? Methinks I mislike them both.

Ooh! Isabel and Julio found a key in Pascual’s things!! And Natalia just rattled on Ángela about asking if Belén had been in any relationships prior to her and Andrés! Things are getting spicy up in here!! In other news, Jacinto has a bad case of Teen Angst and killed his dad’s chili peppers thinking about poor Violeta :(

Isabel has gone to Ayala to answer questions without having to worry about Diego lurking, and also to search through Ayala’s desk for more info on Pascual! Clever woman! Time to find out what’s behind the door of Pascual’s home in San Cristobal… in the next episode!

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙