#my mind's been all over the place today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kowaindar0u · 6 months ago

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argh i think that's all i got in me for now askfdkjsl also its 5am so i oughta lay down !! i'll be around later/tomorrow tho :3

#out of blades #my mind's been all over the place today #i started thinking about DDR and listening t my favorite song from it #(blue impulse by naoki ft. yuki )#TO THE SKY HIGH TOBERU HAZUUUUUU #only at 4-5am on a friday night when i dont even have space for it could i be wanting so badly to play dance dance revolution lol #most of my mats dont even work right anymore last i checked #which was like... 2 yrs ago #but man... if i ever get to move outta here im gonna make sure i have space to play!!!!!#i used to play a decent amount in high school esp when my friends came over #but since then i dont play much and dont have my ps2 readily hooked up most of the time anyway but #ANWYAY MY GOD. going to lay down. i'll have my phone ofc but who knows how long before i conk out #ive had . a lot of coffee #and naps #ITS A WEIRD NIGHT FOR ME IDK

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sysig · 4 months ago

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Hi there! As a requestober request could you please draw something cute with Mob? I'm planning on rewatching Mob Psycho 100 and it would be great to see fanart of him in your style! :D

Day 17 - She loves me, she loves me not...

#My art #Requestober #MP100 #Shigeo Kageyama #This uh. This was Intended to be cute it was Meant to be cute I swear I was Trying for this to be cute #It still could be???? Turned out way way moodier than I meant it to be lol it was just Such a strong image in my head #Like I haven't had literally Any MP100 images pop up since I last doodled them it has been dead silent #But as soon as they came into my inbox this image placed itself very very firmly and strongly in my mind and that like - never happens lol #So I followed it! For funsies! Please enjoy my unfiltered brain-to-hand lol #Mob really is just a boy - he has simple hopes and desires! For all the amazing things he's capable of he wants for such small things #So to be able to sit and Loves Me Not over his crush with a dandelion and find beauty and magic in that <3 #Everyone is appreciating dandelions today yes? We're all caught up on our love of dandelions currently?#Glowing yellow center <3 Not quite a sunflower but he'll work his way up to it :)#It's a bit funny - I've been itching to rewatch a specific episode of MP100 myself despite it not having been all That long since #The Reigen episode specifically the one where he strikes out on his own and it's all ''fine'' - it's an interesting one #I wonder if I've watched enough anime in the meanwhile to appreciate any more subversions haha #I did take a crack at OPM but I ended up leaving partway through S2....#But MP100 kept my attention the whole way through!! Very good series <3 Very good boy ♥

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okcoolthanks · 20 days ago

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Do yall ever think

#there’s a lotin my brain and they’re all cancelling eachother out leading me to do absolutely nothing #also it turns out I DO need to keep washing the tattoo so I’ll do that when I get home #they let me out early for the bus today sooooiive been here for like. idk around ten minutes #it’s warm out I don’t mind #I wish I could walk around without a hat tho but every time I think I’m gonna I check the weather and it’s cold as fuck #I do like how my hair looks ok wait no I’m fucking doing it again see??? what am I DOING #I’m bouncing all over the place I’m like a ping pong ball in a small box

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chiimeramanticore · 9 days ago

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waow

#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly #in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it #or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder #a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like #the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol #but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was #it was just me and brandy for a while #but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today #i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed #i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most #on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO #the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol #im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess #ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry #idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account #keyword some. i know this is tumblr #but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol #i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place #idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise #but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this #maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it #bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me

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rolandkaros · 2 months ago

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key to intermittent writers block is just keep starting new projects so that whenever one of them frustrates the fuck out of you you can binge write one of the others

#wrote like 3k+ words all in one sitting for the football au yesterday and then opened it today like 👁️👄👁️#woosh. absolutely nothing in my brain #and as a result the next chapter of to meet in the middle is maybe one or two days from completion. LOL #after it had been sitting untouched since like basically september #mind you the piece that got me back to writing originally was holger #so we're really all over the place here

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 4 months ago

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Some mild existential dread in the house today

#im just feeling reeeeally really drained #works taking a LOT out of me #like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up #and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life #except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit #and the time and the energy #and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting #and hoping #and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it #i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping #and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes #and have a bath and shave at some point #i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare #AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult #part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions #but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other #idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep #which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately #mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me #and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on #but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just #this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention #and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd #but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh

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lighthouseshepard · 7 months ago

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.

#uh oh i am #feeling very much not like a real person today #just incredibly anxious for no reason i know of #like my body's still in hyper go mode but i mean #this is my first day off in 5 days so maybe thats in?#like i cant convince myself to relax or that i dont have something im pressed for time to do #and im just so tired #and its creating this weird space where i feel Iike im existing a little to the left of reality #the wind is warm and the sky outside is an expanse of blue with crested clouds but i cant take it in #attention span is all over the place #going from like sad to happy to The Longing to feeling left out of my own life #what the fuck brain can i just have #one normal day when im at home BLEASE #i wanted to write today! but even when im sitting still its like im floating #caspost #tbd #sorry i don't mean to complain i feel like ive been doing that alot lately #i am the captain of the struggle bus and its careening into traffic #my mind has the mouth feel of pop rocks and the look of tv static

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astrumocs · 1 year ago

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i need a mega freak ship so bad bro,

#wren speaks #ooc #i want them abnormal and a little fucked up #dont mind me my brain has been all over the place today #it's been a wild one

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roguetaxidermyy · 9 months ago

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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

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skatiet · 10 months ago

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do this and tell me your results in the tags please?

#i beat my high score today and completed it in 9:50 #but i've been training myself on this quiz for years so now i have no concept of what a normal score is and i'm curious #highly recommend things like this for when your mind is all over the place and you just need to direct all your focus on something btw #wkp*

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kindheartedgummybears · 1 year ago

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the girlys are fighting again :(

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ottomozersoccer · 3 months ago

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what are some things sonnja and raimond are good at, hobby wise (like cooking)?

sonnja: partying, scrapbooking, photography

raimond: accordion, gardening, stargazing

#*stops to read mail*#celesticell #celesticell sonnja #celesticell raimond #my mind's been a little all over the place today so srry this isn't as thought out '^^

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gobbluthbutagirl · 6 months ago

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crazy how if you google “how many job applications per week” (which you probably shouldn’t google anyway) you get one result saying doing 2-3 a day is good, one result saying doing 5-10 a day is good, and one result saying doing 11-20 a day is good. So basically, do whatever the hell you want forever

#my thing is. HOW many of these jobs are real. HOW many of these places are actually hiring #one of the 2 i did today made you answer like 15 different questions about whether you’ve ever been late for work. ummmm.no #my plan is to apply at least 20 jobs over the next ummm week or two or so #and keep in mind these are all like nothingburger minimum wage retail jobs designed for stupid individuals such as myself #and if NONE of these places want me then i will know that the job market right now is probably bad for realsies #and so between like september 14-21 i will know if i should be looking for a place to stay for october #or looking for a plane ticket back so i don’t waste money chasing something that won’t happen #and IF it’s option B then i will make my brother hire me at dunkin for a few months until a) the job market improves #or b) i have enough money saved up that i could convince some landlord to rent to me while unemployed #because my thing about the money is like. i still have everything i saved when i worked at target #and i still remember what i endured in order to save all that money. so i absolutely am not dipping into that money #until i KNOW my life is headed in the right direction #and also when i got the job at target that was literally the 4th job i applied to in like 3 months #so if i apply to like 2 dozen jobs and none of them pan out then i’ll Know the timing is wrong. the market is bad #anyway pay me no mind i’ve only been back on the west coast 24 hours #i just had to go ahead and think through every possibility before my head asploded. Her ass did not fucking sleep last night your honor

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izzy-b-hands · 8 months ago

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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)

#text post #Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh #it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao #but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon #not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so #doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer #(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here #and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like #dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already #and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else #like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo #and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him #i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like #yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut #since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together #but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her #more than i am now #i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday #to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money #aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now #he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass #and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here #but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens #and even if he listens he probably won't believe me #sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao

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skeletons-in-ur-closet · 9 months ago

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not to sound like a petulant child but my entire fuckin week is ruined and i wanna kms

#basically #me and my college friends were gonna hang out together today #at this rlly nice place that i havent been to before that they were gonna show me right #we were gonna have a picnic and i bought fuckin drinks and cookies and plates n shit right #i was really excited about it bc 1. this semester legit made me wanna jump out a window so im glad its done #and 2. my friend is going back to his country next week so we were gonna have one last get together before he leaves yk #well anyway right before i was about to leave my mom's leg started hurting (though i think she did it on purpose now)#so i offered to do the wash before i left so that yk....she could rest and not fuck up her leg...common fuckin sense #anyway i started sorting the wash...tell me why she literally SPRINTS over (again...with a 'hurt' leg) and started screeching in my ear #she starts yelling 'get the fuck away from me!!!' and 'what are you doing'....WHIILE SHE WAS THE ONE UP IN MY FACE #keep in mind this is all 20 minutes before im meant to leave im literally dressed and ready to go out the door #anyway my brother broke us up and WHY WAS SHE THE ONE THAT BURST INTO TEARS???? WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE SCREECHING AND PUSHING ME #anyway i just did the wash and told my friends i couldnt make it #but i feel super shitty about it bc we were supposed to meet at 12 and i suddenly told them i couldnt make it at 11

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spamtoon · 9 months ago

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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a ��your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay

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