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#my life is at its peak and at its worst. such is life
sammygender · 2 years
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auuughhh god. i want to write i just i wanna write and share my writing :( i hate being a creative type it feels so stupid and cliche and i love math so much and sciences and that’s weird and feels like it can’t coexist the same and i wish i devoted my energy into other peoples characters instead of my own because then people would care… & i dunno what i wanna do when i’m older because fucking hell i just want to write :( i just wanna sit around and write my silly stories and explore my silly themes and i want to make media and create stories and talk about stories and live breathe and die stories. i don’t want to work or write nonfiction or even essays unless the inspiration sparks me i don’t want to be a journalist or a publisher or anything that feels like WORK and i don’t want to do an english degree. i want to go to school and learn code and computers and math and figure things out and then i want to go home and create art all evening write all evening draw all evening plan stories and make movies and play music and i want to get paid for doing those things i don’t want to have the passion sucked out of me by the way the world is and i want people to see what i do and like it!!! is that so hard?? they don’t have to but i want to share things!! im sociable and i think creating a story is the same as starting a conversation except nobody responds. ive got so much to say that’s why i write that’s why i can’t stop writing. i don’t like book form or restricting myself to 90k words or cutting things down or changing characters so it becomes more palatable or accessible i don’t like the fact that if i want to make anything real anything that can get discovered i have to learn something on top of my writing because all i can DO is write. and do math sometimes!!! all i can do is write and do math!!! and those two things don’t even help each other!!! AAARGGHHHHHH
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ohitslen · 1 year
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Sharing a meal
I wrote something for this below the cut if you’re interested :)
They never eat anything too tasty, surviving with packeted rations and canned food in their journey. Sometimes they would stop at a little restaurant and eat a nice meal; it really tasted like something gourmet after days of going with grain bars and dry jerky.
There were fleeting moments in between conversations in which one of them would remember some dish, from back in the day when things were easier and they didn’t worry about too many things. They never went deeper into the topic, just mentioning how they missed a good meal.
Staying at an inn or any motel was an expensive thing to pay for. However sometimes they had some extra money from an odd job Vash did or from Wolfwood’s undertaker services, and they would always rent a room as a treat for themselves.
It was a surprise when they entered the room and saw a small kitchen. The space was a little too cramped but it had everything they needed, it was like a deluxe room when they though about all the places they had been at. None of them had a kitchen at all, maybe they had a tiny stove or a mini fridge, perhaps a table sometimes but never the whole set together.
They both looked at each other to confirm they really were seeing the thing, smiling excitedly.
They could make a meal for themselves.
Vash knew how to cook, he had done some work on kitchens throughout his life. A few times he helped Rem when he was a child, he knows how to defend himself. Yet he didn’t know any recipes by heart, not any that would be inside their budget at least. He could get creative and probably whip up a thing or two if he was given enough time.
“I know what to do” Wolfwood said with a smile that irradiated a melancholic warmth interrupting his thoughts . A smile Vash had only seen when he talked about the things he loved.
Vash didn’t suggest anything in the end and just followed what the other man told him to do.
He went to buy all the things Wolfwood asked him for. Vegetables and some thoma meat. There seemed to be some spices in the room so he only bought garlic and onion as per Wolfwood’s request.
When Vash got back, he found Nick at the table arranging the ingredients the kitchen already had. He was already showered, hair messy and with droplets of water hanging on the tips. Getting closer, he could smell the soap, the cheap shampoo and the lingering scent of nicotine that never seemed to go away. He was changed into a black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose dark blue pants.
His overall appearance made Vash think how the edges of the man were less sharp, he seemed more relaxed and at ease, even if it wasn’t entirely the case. He just looked, soft.
“Hey welcome back, did you bring what I asked you for or will I have to use your meat for this?” Wolfwood greeted him without looking up from his task, the ingredients being the most interesting thing in the world it seemed.
Something warm pooled at the pit of Vash’s stomach, he didn’t know why that was and didn’t bother to think about it either, just enjoying the feeling.
Smiling, he placed the bags on the table in front of Wolfwood, taking out its contents. “I’m sure I brought everything yeah, I hope my life can be spared”.
The priest snorted at him and grabbed a potato that was rolling off the table. “Aight then, make yourself useful and start washing these and then chop ‘em to reasonable bitable sizes”. Losing no time, he took the meat and was cutting it while giving out the instructions.
While Vash was washing and chopping, the other was already preparing the meat putting it in a pot with boiling water. Once Vash was finished with all he was asked to do, Wolfwood ushered him to take a shower while the food was done, wanting to have more space in the narrow place. Vash did as told in that as well.
The shower felt great, all of the gross stickiness from the sweat and other things were finally washed off from his body. He felt light and a thousand times more content.
As he opened the door the smell hit him in the face, a delicious scent that surely tasted even better. Wolfwood was stirring the pot, poking some of the potatoes to make sure they were on the right term, and they seemed to be as he turned off the stove.
Vash got closer, mouth already watering just from the thought of how it’d taste “That smells so good! What did you make?” He asked with a big grin plastered all over his face.
Wolfwood pointed at the table with his hand, signaling him to sit down a little dismissively while he looked for the bowls on his own. It seemed like he was the kind that with less people on the kitchen when he was there, the better. “Just a broth, nothing too wow it’s something easy, and on budget”. Vash hummed with wonder and served two cups of water to busy himself with something.
Wolfwood poured the two servings of the broth, it was still hot and the bowl must surely be scalding. Yet Wolfwood’s calloused hands never flinched, placing their food on the table without much trouble along with a pair of long spoons.
“Be careful or you will murder your tongue” he warned and Vash chuckled.
“Thanks for the heads up chef, ‘preciate it” the other just scoffed at the title and sat down across him .
They both mixed the broth while blowing at it in hopes for it to cool down a little. However seeing how they were both starving and didn’t care too much about getting burnt or not, they just started to dig in.
Wolfwood was eating eagerly, having spoonful after spoonful of his food. He was beyond delighted. It had been a long time since he had the chance to prepare the broth he used to have back at the Orphanage.
“It’s…delicious” he heard Vash say in a low and calm tone. When he looked up to see the man, he was shocked to find him with reddish eyes that were glistening with tears. It didn’t seem like when was doing a show or anything of the sorts, he just seemed…at peace.
It wasn’t anything extravagant, quite possibly one of the most simple dishes Vash has ever eaten. It was made with the things that they could afford with the little money they could spare, the ingredients were definitely not of the best quality, the vegetables could have used a little more time on the pot. And it was delicious.
Vash felt incredibly warm inside, similar to how he felt when Wolfwood greeted him when he got back, just a thousand times stronger. The first sip he had of it tasted like the best thing ever cooked in his whole life, something he would have every day of the year for the rest of eternity. He didn’t know why that was at first, but after having a second spoon of it he could tell what it was.
It tasted like home.
The flavor of it, it was homely, the savor of melancholy. It tasted like their conversations about missing the past. The tang of the times they would have a peaceful night in the desert grilling worm meat around a campfire. It reminded him when he got sick and an old lady had given him a bowl of soup. It tasted like the first time Rem had given them a try of what meat and vegetables tasted like. It tasted like all the things he missed, and the things Nicholas most likely missed too.
The familiarity of it made him feel fuzzy and full on the inside, and he couldn’t stop eating. He was slow while doing it, wanting to savor every bit of what he could have while it lasted. It was rich, it was simple and it was perfect.
“…You want some more?” At some point, Nicholas had already finished his own bowl and brought the pot over to serve himself again. He looked at Vash with something soft in his eyes the other could not name, his voice was gentle and gravely, sweet and easy on his ears just adding more to the warmth inside of him.
“Yes…yes please” Vash answered, voice cracking a little. Nicholas served him, the sound of the liquid being poured soothing his soul.
Vash ate again, and Wolfwood was looking at him. The priest was taking small sips of water from his cup, always holding it against his mouth even if he wasn’t drinking anything. Vash didn’t really notice when he had started tearing up, thick streams of salty water running through his cheeks, a pool of them welling up at his chin and falling down the wooden table making a puddle of happy tears.
Vash enjoyed the heartfelt broth. He was happy, that bit of simplicity was enough to make him forget of everything else and just focus on that moment.
It was so mundane. Vash smiled with overflowing tears in his eyes while Wolfwood just watched with a fond smile of his own behind his empty cup of water.
At that moment, they were not in a random room at a random place. They were in a place where they had brought their home to, sharing a meal with each other.
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oifaaa · 1 year
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Your Tim gives big “peaked in high-school” energy, but I doubt he peaked in high-school, so maybe he peaked at being Robin, thus creating new trauma in the family, and maybe hero community
Oh Tim 100% is the peaked in high-school guy like dude was having a ball he was super popular constantly had girls falling over themselves for him and he was Robin- the fact that Tim is so reluctant to let robin go is literally the biggest tell of all that this boy is trying desperately to hang on to how things used to be
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aroceu · 6 months
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my mindset toward myself has recently gone from "I'm an unlikable person" to "it is normal for not everyone to like me - as well as it is normal for there to be people who dislike me - when I am unapologetic about who I am" and honestly I love that for me
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glassdemons · 4 months
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we've never met irl i think but knew abt you through your sibling, mutual friends and friends of friends - way cooler than some ppl (namely said sibling) lead me to believe! you seem chill as hell and fun to hang with. hope things r going well for you!
thats actually quite sad to think about but im glad u saw through the shit they spout
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sucktacular · 11 months
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YALL THEY FINALLY HAD MY ACNE CREAM IN STOCK AGAIN LISTEN ITS BEEN LIKE A MONTH!!! MY FACE FEELS TERRIBLE!!!! LIKE, FUCK!!! BUT I HAVE IT IN MY HANDS!!! HAZAA!!!!!!! GO TO HELL ACNE AND OILS!!!!!!!!!!!! AND STAY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reminder to actually name your google docs and dont just leave them all Untitled cause god help your soul if youre trying to look for something specific
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eggmeralda · 1 year
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the onceler 🤝 notre dame de paris 🤝 the clash <- disappearing randomly and giving me trust issues about my own brain for the rest of my life
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razette · 18 hours
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My last 10 years have sucked absolute ass (mostly. i mean, I got married and that didnt suck) but hell be damned I have made it 10 years! I didnt think that was going to happen. Things still suck, actually, but I lived! I didnt think I was gonna! awesome!
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I'm working on something new everypony. I'm just Afflicted with the Curse
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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caruliaa · 1 year
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if weve gotta deal with another pandemic next year that was my bad guys sorry last time i went thru a life even that felt this final and traumatic before i cld fully process it normal life for everyone became so different and traumatic for everyone so it might happen again idk
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aemondfairy · 1 month
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Out Of The Woods
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summary: The war is over and Rhaenyra’s daughter gets a fresh start in The North.
pairing: Cregan x Targaryen!Reader
word count: 842
warnings: Description of pain & childbirth, grief, RIP Jace <\3
note: Sooo……. It appears that I’m in Cregan Simp Mode
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It is a brighter day than usual when your labors start. The sun even begins to peak behind the clouds, casting a gorgeous gleam over Winterfell. It has been six months since the civil war between your family has ended and it seems as though the smoke-like grief that clouds your mind is finally beginning to clear. After all of your pain and suffering, you are now far away from Dragonstone and even farther away from King’s Landing. As your younger brother sits the Iron Throne, you have a hope for a peaceful realm. As well as hope that you and Cregan will finally be able to start anew.
Things are different in Winterfell, especially now that the dance has ended. There is no pressure for your babe to have silver hair or violet eyes. No pressure for it to be born with a cock. All that matters is that the babe is healthy. Your child will not suffer the same hardships as you and your siblings once did.
You can hear heavy footsteps outside of the chamber as Cregan paces restlessly. While you endure another hour of labor, you try to keep your mind elsewhere. Your gaze is fixed on the flicker of the candle that sits in the chandelier above your head.
One of your earlier memories is your mother being in labor with Joffrey. You remember wincing at her screams and placing judgement on the names she called her midwives. Now you don’t blame her. You even admire her for going through this so many times. You miss her terribly.
Your hand grips tightly onto the wooden headboard as you try your hardest to listen to the instructions of your midwife.
“Push into the pain,” she advises you, “when the pain is at its worst, that’s when you will want to push the hardest, my lady.”
Your knees are at your chest, a thin layer of sweat covers your entire body, and your once white nightgown is now stained red. You inhale deeply as you brace yourself for another painful contraction.
And just like that, it’s happening again. It begins as a dull ache in your spine that eventually overtakes you completely. It feels as if you were being torn to shreds. Your muscles begin to spasm and each wave of pain is worse than the last.
A particularly loud scream echoes out into the hallway and it has Cregan bursting through the door into the room, his auburn brows furrowed.
“This is not the place for men, my Lord,” your midwife sternly warns him.
“I do not care! What’s happened?”
“Nothing!” you bark at him, your teeth gritted. This is a pain he is unable to comprehend.
“I’m fine, we’re fine. It just hurts. That’s all.”
Cregan frowns at you as he comes to stand at your side.
“My lord—” your midwife tries to interject once again.
“I’m staying.”
He keeps true to his word and remains at your side for the rest of your labor, despite your midwife’s wishes — earning him many dirty looks.
Another painful contraction comes and the pain is mind blowing. But it seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel. You bring your chin down to your chest and push with all of your might. You push as if your life depends on it, because it does.
“That’s it, my lady! Perfect. I can see the babe already, a full head of hair,” she states.
Just when you swear you cannot push anymore, you feel sudden relief and loud cries fill the room.
“It’s a boy,” your midwife declares, and Cregan squeezes onto your hand tightly.
“And he is one healthy pup! With quite the set of lungs!” she adds.
About an hour later, once you are moved from the birthing bed and all cleaned up, you sit in your large bed that you and Cregan share. Your babe is cozily bundled up and suckling at your breast, his tiny gums gnawing at your flesh.
“Do we have a name for him?” Cregan asks you as he comes to take solace beside you, peering down at the tiny babe.
“I’m not quite sure yet,” you reply, your mind still hazy, your heart full, “did you have something in mind?”
“I was thinking… he holds a striking resemblance to your brother. What do you think?”
You glance down at your newborn son. An angelic face matched with tiny wisps of dark hair that threaten to grow into a thick head of curls.
“Oh,” you coo, “yeah… yeah, he does, doesn’t he?”
Cregan smiles widely at you, in a way that makes your heart want to burst right out of your chest.
You and Cregan both held great love for Jacaerys. It was something you bonded over when you were first getting to know one another. After spending so much time with him at the beginning of the dance, Cregan began to care for Jace as if he was a brother of his own.
“So it’s settled then,” he states with pride, “we’ll call him Jacaerys.”
“Jacaerys,” you breathe out in agreement as your husband places as gentle kiss on your forehead.
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ravensking · 1 year
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lilacstro · 3 months
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astro observations pt 11
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literally had a dream about two of the pointers lmao so i thought I have to do this!!
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1.Sun in 8th house people, are extreme. Either they would be extremely motivated or they won't care at all. My brother has this placement and guess he is in wont care his at all era lmao
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2.Often seen when someone's sun falls in your 8th house, you might have an unexplainable attraction to the person, and unexplainable feelings about them, sometimes often wanting to over give to them without explanations. However, in any form of relationship, you both end up transforming each other, and in some cases things end in extreme forms between both of you, like for example in an extremely emotionally charged situations, huge conflict of feelings and ending up hurting each other etc. I don't recommend this one tbh lmao. This in just my personal opinion never ends well for so many reasons that it deserves a single post lol
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3.Your 4th house can show your relationship to your past. People with Scorpio in 4th house may hold resentment to the past but transform themselves out of it and not really cling to it like most people would think. Clinging to the past more so feels like Pisces 4th house thing, but not always. In fact, they can be very empathetic towards themselves and their past. They may even dream about past events in their life often. Can make a separate post on this one again.
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4.Often seen people with Jupiter in 4th house are hopeful about the future, no matter what they have been through. They are usually infact very optimistic and make good things happen for themselves with this attitude, sooner or later
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5.Having Jupiter in any subconscious house (4/8/12) is again a sign of having a good heart and intentions, and having some kind of hope and optimism. Like, people with Jupiter in 8th house would be going through the worst phases of their life and yet be kind and helping to others around them, have hopes that all of this would pass, even if it doesnt feel like so in the moment.
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6. Someone having water placements in 2 or all of the subconscious houses esp 8 and 12 can be really, really intuitive. This also makes me think they are more prone to feeling energies and having mental health problems
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7. Having Cancer/Pisces in 8th or 12th house, can mean you can connect with your ancestors or they connect with you more than you think, through dreams, intuitive nudges and things like that. I think this even more amplified if you have these in the 12th house
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8. There is something with 11th house stelliums and everyone wanting to be their friend. My sister has this placement and despite of being an introvert she manages to have some really good friends, its like she doesnt even have to do much, people just find her and make friends with her.
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9. People with 8th/12th house stellium or even personal planets in those houses and feeling like lone wolf in a crowd full of people. Its like feeling no matter who is by your side, in the end, you have to go through everything alone and do everything alone and it can get frustrating at times.
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10. People with Jupiter in 1st house have a really good sense of humor. I have seen this in charts of two people tbh. I would also say this for people with Mercury-Jupiter aspects
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11. Whereas people with Mercury dominance or Mercury as chart ruler/1st/2nd/3rd house can have peak level sarcasm and dish it out fast at times lmao Like bro how do you even come up with that thought so fast.
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12. Wherever Sagittarius is in your chart can show what you may change and leave behind often and can't really be tamed about. Sag in 1st? FREEDOM, these people would also change their personality and everything overall whenever they feel they need to plus points if you have pluto in sag in 1st house, and transform into someone new. Sag in 11th, changing friend groups and social environments whenever necessary or felt like so, like wont really think very deep about leaving a friend behind until its really serious for them. Sag in 10th? Changing multiple careers and jobs
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13. Venus conjunct mercury people may actually not just flirt but fall for flirts too lmao. I think at times, this can also translate to being able to fall in love with someone online or just through texting.
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14. I dont know if I have said this but one of the OG placements for keeping emotions coming on face and being able to keep a poker face throughout are Capricorn moons fr. Like they may go through a swindle and tsunami of emotions but keep such a straight face lmao. Unbothered queen/kings (surficial though). Its either because they don't know how to express their emotions or they just restrict them on purpose, and guess what it never ends well and they need to break this cycle.
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support me on ko-fi :)
paid readings are open:)
xoxo
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pucksandpower · 1 year
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Another Man’s Treasure
Max Verstappen x Reader + Charles Leclerc x ex!Reader
Summary: Charles made the worst mistake of his life when he threw away his relationship with you. Max … well he’s learned to take advantage of others’ mistakes both on and off the track
Warnings: cheating (not the main pairing) and pregnancy
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“Please, Charles, why can’t we just talk about it?” you implore, the two of you standing on the balcony overlooking the glimmering lights of Monaco. The city shines brilliantly but your eyes are clouded with frustration and disappointment.
Charles exhales deeply, his jaw clenched as he avoids your gaze. The silver lining of the night —the glimmer of stars overhead — contrasts sharply with the tension between you two. “I told you already, it’s not the right time.
You take a shaky breath, trying to hold back tears. “Every time I bring up having children, you just push it away. Why can’t you see how much this means to me?”
Charles runs his fingers through his dark hair, exhaling slowly. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to have a family with you someday,” he begins, his gaze distant. “But right now, with my career at its peak, I can’t risk distractions.”
“Distractions?” Your voice breaks, the hurt evident in your tone. “Our children would be a distraction?”
He flinches, clearly not expecting that response. “That’s not what I meant. I just … I need to focus on the championship. The pressure is immense. Racing is my life. Ferrari is my life.”
“I understand your dedication to your career, but ...” You pause, your gaze searching his. “Don’t you think we can find a balance? Am I not part of your life too?”
He looks at you, those hypnotizing eyes you’ve always loved flinching away from yours after no more than a second. “I wish I knew how,” he murmurs. “But every time I think of the late nights, the early mornings, the endless travels ... I’m afraid I won’t be there for our children.”
You reach out, holding his face in your hands. “We can figure it out together. But not if you keep shutting me out.”
Charles leans into your touch for a brief moment, his warmth radiating under your fingers. But then he pulls away, taking a deep breath. “I just need time,” he whispers.
“You always say that,” you reply, voice almost inaudible. The weight of the situation presses down on you both. The future, once so clear and bright, is now clouded in uncertainty.
But one thing is clear to you. You love Charles Leclerc. Despite the pain, the hurt, and the disagreements, you still believe that one day, you’ll both find common ground. So, you nod, taking his hand. “Alright, I’ll give you time. But please, don’t take too long.”
He looks at you with a mixture of gratitude and guilt. “Thank you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.
But deep inside, a gnawing feeling of dread starts to grow, leaving you wondering if you’ve made the right choice.
***
The soft hum of the espresso machine at your favorite café in Monaco is the only thing that brings comfort these days. You take a deep breath, trying to enjoy the momentary solace as you sip on your coffee. But today, the calm is quickly disrupted by the muted buzz of your phone.
An unknown number flashes across the screen. Hesitating for only a moment, you decide to pick up. “Hello?”
A hesitant voice responds, “Is this ... is this you? I’ve seen you with Charles.”
Confused and on guard, you ask, “Who is this?”
The voice falters, “It’s Elise.”
You wrack your brain, trying to figure out who she might be. But before you can respond, Elise continues, “I think we need to meet. There’s something you should know.”
Agreeing to meet up, you find yourself waiting at the edge of the Fontvieille Park, the minutes feeling like hours as you try to decipher what could be so important.
Elise finally arrives, her demeanor nervous, eyes darting around. She’s visibly pregnant.
“I didn’t know how to tell you this,” she begins, looking down at her swollen belly, then up to your eyes, searching for understanding. “This is Charles’ child.”
The world seems to spin, the weight of her words pressing down on you. “What? How? Why?” The questions blur together, each one as painful as the last.
Elise sighs, taking a moment before she speaks, “We’ve been seeing each other for a while. I thought he loved me ... but then I found out about you.”
You’re at a loss for words, feeling a mix of betrayal, anger, and pain more complex than you can describe. The very foundation of your relationship with Charles feels like it’s crumbling beneath you. “He said he wasn’t ready for children,” you whisper, more to yourself than to Elise.
Elise looks genuinely pained. “I didn’t know. If I had, I would’ve never—” she stops herself, tears forming. “I’m so sorry. I thought you deserved to know the truth.”
The rest of the conversation is a blur. Elise shares her story, and you listen, trying to reconcile this new reality. The Charles she describes isn’t the man you thought you knew.
By the time you part ways, the Monaco sunset paints the sky in shades of gold and purple. But its beauty does little to lift the darkness that has settled over your heart. Charles had been unfaithful, and now a child — a constant reminder of his betrayal — was on the way.
***
With every step you take towards the apartment you share with Charles, your emotions churn and crash like tumultuous waves. You have practiced the confrontation in your mind countless times, yet as you reach the door, your hands tremble. Taking a moment to gather your courage, you push it open.
Inside, Charles looks up from the couch, surprised. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” he starts, attempting a smile but his eyes give away a hint of nervousness. Perhaps he senses the storm brewing.
“We need to talk,” you say, your voice firm despite the turmoil inside.
Charles swallows hard, pushing himself up to stand. “About?”
“Elise,” you state simply, watching as his face pales.
He hesitates, and for a moment, you hope for an ounce of remorse, a hint of regret. But when he speaks, his words are cold and detached. “How did you find out?”
“Does it matter?” You shoot back, trying to hold back tears. “Is it true?”
Charles avoids your gaze, running a hand through his hair. “Yes,” he finally admits.
“And the baby? Is it yours?”
Again, he hesitates but then nods. “Yes.”
The weight of the revelation feels like a physical blow, and you stagger back slightly, gripping the back of a chair for support. “All those times … when you said you weren’t ready, that it wasn’t the right time …” Your voice cracks, pain and betrayal evident in every word.
Charles finally meets your gaze but there’s no warmth, no apology in his eyes. “I didn’t plan this,” he says but it’s not a justification, merely a statement.
“That’s supposed to make it better?” you scoff, voice rising in disbelief.
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, a gesture you recognize as one of discomfort. “I never wanted to hurt you. But things just ... happened.”
“You think that justifies anything? Things just happened?” You shake your head in disbelief. “I gave up so much for us, Charles. I moved away from everything and everyone I knew to be with you. And you threw it all away like it’s nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs but his apology feels hollow. His eyes betray the truth.
The room is thick with tension and heartbreak. The man you loved, the life you envisioned — both seem like illusions now. You didn’t even know if they were ever real.
“You know what?” You say, a new determination rising within. “I deserve better. I deserve someone who truly values and respects me.” With that, you turn, making your way to the bedroom to pack a few essentials.
Charles doesn’t stop you. And that, more than anything, cements the truth. Your future lies elsewhere. The chapter with Charles is closed.
***
Rain begins to drizzle over Monaco, each droplet reflecting the city’s luminescence. With a bag slung over your shoulder and a broken heart, you wander aimlessly. The streets that once felt like home now seem foreign and cold.
As the rain intensifies, you duck under an awning, the gentle hum of a nearby bar providing a temporary reprieve. You’re lost in thought when a familiar voice breaks through, “Is everything okay? You look a bit ... lost.”
You look up, surprised to find Max Verstappen looking genuinely concerned. His bright blue eyes study your face, searching for an answer.
“Max ...” Your voice trails off, unsure of how much to reveal.
He gestures to the bar beside you. “Want to come in? We can talk or not. Up to you.”
Gratefully, you nod, and the two of you find a quiet corner. The dim lighting offers a cocoon of privacy, away from prying eyes.
Over a glass of wine, words start to tumble out. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the uncertainty of the future. Max listens intently, his gaze never leaving yours. His silence offers a comforting presence, allowing you to unburden your heavy heart.
“I can’t believe Charles would do that to you,” Max says after you finish your story, his voice laced with anger. “You deserve so much better.”
A tear slips down your cheek. “I thought we had something special. But I guess I was just naive. And stupid. So stupid.”
Max reaches out, gently wiping away the tear with his thumb. “No. He was the fool for not seeing what a treasure he had.”
The evening wears on and you find solace in Max’s company. The conversation shifts from heartbreak to hopes and dreams. He opens up about his childhood, the pressures of racing, and his aspirations for a family — one where he could offer his children a better upbringing than he had.
The connection between you two grows, the raw vulnerability drawing you closer than you could have ever anticipated over just a few hours.
“It’s getting late,” Max observes, glancing at his watch. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?”
You hesitate, realizing you hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I ... I hadn’t planned anything.”
Max looks thoughtful for a moment then says, “I have a penthouse not far from here. You’re more than welcome to stay. No expectations, just a place to rest.”
Gratitude swells within you. “Thank you, Max. I really appreciate that.”
The two of you leave the bar together, the rain now a soft drizzle. As you make your way to his place, the weight of the day begins to lift, replaced by an unexpected feeling of hope. You couldn’t have predicted this turn of events but perhaps, just maybe, the universe has a plan for you.
***
The penthouse apartment is a sanctuary, perched high above the city’s twinkling lights. The soft glow of lamps bathes the room in warmth, contrasting with the coolness of the floor-to-ceiling glass windows that offer an unobstructed view of Monaco’s beauty.
Max hands you a plush robe and gestures toward the bathroom. “Feel free to freshen up. I’ll make us some tea.”
You nod, grateful for his understanding and hospitality. The hot shower washes away the day’s troubles, and when you emerge, wrapped in the robe, you find Max in the sleek kitchen area, preparing mugs of tea.
“Here you go,” he says, handing you a steaming cup. “Chamomile. Good for relaxation.”
You take a sip, the warm liquid soothing your frayed nerves. “Thank you, Max. For everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you tonight.”
He smiles gently, his eyes meeting yours. “Sometimes, unexpected moments bring people together for a reason.”
The two of you settle onto a surprisingly comfortable leather couch, gazing out at the night sky. Silence envelops you but it’s a comfortable one.
“You know, I never expected to connect with someone like this,” Max says, his voice soft. “Especially not after what you’ve been through.”
You look at him, seeing a depth of sincerity that surprises you. “It’s been a strange and difficult day,” you admit. “But talking to you, it feels like a weight has been lifted.”
Max’s gaze holds yours, and for a moment, it feels like the universe has conspired to bring you to this very place, to this very person.
He takes a deep breath. “I’ve always wanted a big family. A loving home, something I didn’t really have growing up. I want to give my kids the stability and happiness I never had.”
Tears well up in your eyes, touched by his vulnerability and his willingness to share his dreams with you. “That’s a beautiful aspiration.”
He shifts closer, a comforting hand on your shoulder. “And what about you? What do you dream of?”
You lean back, contemplating the question. “I dream of a family too, a partner who’s truly invested, children who grow up knowing they’re loved and supported.”
Max's fingers brush against yours, a gentle touch that sends a shiver down your spine. “You deserve that. You deserve to find happiness.”
As the night deepens, the emotional intimacy between you grows. There’s an unspoken understanding, a shared connection, and for the first time in a long while, you feel a glimmer of hope for the future. The chapter with Charles might be closed, but perhaps, with Max, you can start to write a new one — one filled with shared dreams and the promise of a brighter tomorrow.
***
The morning sun casts a golden glow over Monaco as it begins its ascent into the azure sky. You wake up, wrapped in the softest sheets you’ve ever felt, with memories of last night’s conversation playing on a loop in your mind.
Exiting the bedroom, you find Max in the open-plan kitchen, whipping up a breakfast spread. “Good morning,” he greets with a warm smile. “I hope you’re hungry.”
As you eat, Max discusses his plans for the day, mentioning an upcoming summer break in the F1 calendar. “A few friends and I have organized a yacht trip during the summer shutdown. It’s a tradition,” he explains. “A way to escape and recharge.”
You nod, picturing the glittering sea and warm beaches. “That sounds wonderful.”
He hesitates for a moment, then, as if taking a leap, says, “Why don’t you join us? It could be a good distraction. Get away from all this ... chaos.”
The offer catches you by surprise. The prospect of a holiday is tempting, especially after the emotional whirlwind of the past few days. Plus, the idea of spending more time with Max, getting to know him outside the confines of Monaco, is equally appealing.
After a moment’s contemplation, you reply, “You know what? I think I will. Thank you so much.”
The days leading up to the trip are a blur, filled with shopping for swimsuits and sundresses and a growing sense of anticipation.
When the day finally arrives, you find yourself aboard a lavish yacht, surrounded by Max’s close friends. Laughter and conversations flow easily, the crystal-clear waters providing the perfect backdrop.
As the yacht sets sail, you and Max find a secluded spot on the deck. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. The two of you talk, laugh, and occasionally, just sit in silence, enjoying the tranquillity of the moment.
During a sun-soaked afternoon, Max teaches you how to steer the yacht. Your fingers brush against each other, and there are shared glances, stolen moments, and an electric charge between you that’s impossible to ignore.
Each day deepens the growing bond between you. There are sunrises watched from the deck, dinners under the stars, and long conversations that last into the early hours of the morning.
One night, as the yacht anchors near a secluded cove, Max takes your hand, leading you to a quiet spot. The moonlight dances on the water, creating a magical atmosphere.
“You know,” he begins, his voice soft, “this trip has been special. Not because of the destinations but because of the company.”
You smile, leaning into him. “I couldn’t agree more.”
A tender moment passes between you, one filled with promise and the potential for something more. The yacht trip might be coming to an end but both of you sense that this journey, this new chapter in your lives, has only just begun.
***
The gentle lull of the waves against the yacht rocks you as the moon hangs low in the sky. The night air is warm and fragrant, carrying with it a sense of peace. Tomorrow, the yacht will dock back in Monaco and reality will catch up with you once more. But for now, you’re content to savor these final moments of the trip.
You find Max leaning against the railing, gazing out at the sea. As you approach him, he turns, his expression softening into a smile. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you reply, standing beside him, your shoulders brushing against each other.
“I can’t believe the break is almost over,” Max muses, his voice carrying a hint of wistfulness.
You nod in agreement, casting your gaze out to the horizon. “It still feels like a dream.”
Max glances at you, his eyes holding a certain intensity. “You know, I’ve had an amazing time with you.”
A flutter of warmth ignites in your chest at his words. “Me too. The best time.”
The moment is charged with unspoken feelings, the connection between you growing stronger with each passing day. Max’s fingers brush against yours and the touch sends a shiver down your spine.
“I don’t want this to end,” he confesses, gaze never leaving yours.
You take a deep breath, your heart racing. “I’ve never felt so connected to someone, so understood.”
He cups your cheek with his hand, his touch tender and affectionate. “I feel the same way. And I don’t want this to end.”
The tension in the air is palpable, heavy with anticipation and longing. And then, as if drawn by an invisible force, your lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s a kiss filled with all the emotions that have been building between you, a kiss that bridges the gap between friendship and something more.
As the kiss deepens, Max’s arms wrap around you, pulling you closer. The world around you fades away, leaving only the two of you under the moonlit sky.
When you finally pull apart, your foreheads rest against each other, your breaths mingling. Max’s voice is a gentle murmur against your lips. “I don’t want to rush anything. But I also don’t want to pretend that this connection we have isn’t real.”
You meet his gaze, your eyes reflecting the same sincerity. “I don’t want to pretend either. Max, I want to give this — give us — a chance.”
A genuine smile graces Max’s lips and he kisses your forehead in reassurance. “Then let’s take it one step at a time.”
***
“Where to now?” Max asks, his hand lightly touching your arm as the yacht crew busies themselves with docking procedures.
You hesitate, the reality of your situation setting in. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I … I moved here from my home country to be with Charles.”
Max looks concerned. “You can’t stay with him, not after everything.”
“No, definitely not.” You exhale deeply, feeling the weight of the situation. “I’ll figure something out. Maybe find a hotel for a few days.”
Before you can say more, Max interjects, “Stay with me.”
You look at him, a bit taken aback. “Are you sure? We’re still navigating whatever this is between us.”
He nods, his gaze steady and sincere. “I know. But I also know you shouldn’t be alone right now. You can take the guest room or,” he pauses, a hint of mischief in his eyes, “the master bedroom, if you prefer.”
A blush creeps up your cheeks at his teasing tone but his offer feels genuine. “Alright but only if you promise not to snore.”
Max chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head off the yacht. “Deal.”
The familiarity of Max’s penthouse greets you as you step inside. It's comforting and safe, an oasis to escape the shattered memories that line the Monaco streets.
While you unpack, Max makes dinner. The two of you eat in comfortable silence, the city lights casting a soft glow through the apartment.
“Thank you for this,” you say, gesturing around the dining room, the food, the moment. “It’s more than I could’ve ever asked for.”
Max meets your gaze, his blue eyes reflecting warmth and understanding. “You’re not alone in this. Whatever comes next, we’ll face it together.”
The night unfolds, a sense of peace settling between you. Whether it's the soft hum of the city below or the comforting presence of Max beside you, you drift into a deep, restful sleep.
Waking up the next morning, the events of the past weeks feel like a distant memory. But the man beside you, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist, is a calming reminder of new beginnings.
With Max by your side, you feel ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead, knowing that no matter what, you’re not alone.
***
“Are you ready for the madness?” Max asks, offering you a hand as you step out of the car, the roar of the crowd at Zandvoort Circuit immediately evident.
Taking a deep breath, you nod. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
The two of you walk hand-in-hand towards the paddock, drawing attention from fans, crew, and media alike. Whispers spread like wildfire but neither of you flinch. Together, you are a united front.
Suddenly, Charles appears from around the corner, his gaze immediately locking onto yours. “So this is the big reveal?” he asks, dripping with condensing sarcasm.
Max steps protectively in front of you. “It’s none of your business anymore.”
Charles scoffs, his eyes darting to the Red Bull VIP pass around your neck. “Jumping ship already? You always were fickle.”
Ignoring the jab, you retort, “You lost any right to an opinion about my life the second you threw away our relationship.”
Charles’ eyes flare with anger. “And you,” he snaps, turning his attention to the reigning world champion, “you think you can just swoop in—”
Max cuts him off sharply, “I think you’ve said enough.”
“You two deserve each other,” Charles hisses before storming off.
Max wraps an arm around you, his touch reassuring. “Ignore him. Today is about the race, about us. Nothing else.”
You nod, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.”
The race itself is thrilling. From Red Bull garage, you watch as Max masterfully maneuvers his car, leading the pack with unparalleled skill. Every turn, every overtake steals your breath. And when he crosses the finish line, the roar of the crowd painting the grandstands orange is deafening.
As Max emerges from his car, he’s immediately surrounded by his team, celebrating yet another victory. And then, spotting you in the crowd, he breaks away, making a beeline towards you. Without a word, he pulls you into his arms, his lips meeting yours in a passionate kiss.
The world fades away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect moment. As you pull apart, Max’s eyes shine with triumph and love. “For you,” he murmurs, holding up the trophy.
Laughing, you pull him close once more. The challenges and confrontations of the day pale in comparison to the joy of this moment. Together, you and Max are unstoppable. And as you celebrate his victory, you know that this is just the beginning of many more triumphant moments to come.
***
The familiar sounds of roaring engines, the scent of burning rubber, and the vibrant energy of the paddock have been a part of your life for years. But being around the Red Bull team feels like a different world compared to your previous experiences with Ferrari.
Christian Horner welcomes you with open arms. “It’s great to have you on board,” he says during a quiet moment in the Red Bull motorhome. “Max seems happier than he’s been in a long time.”
You smile, thinking of the nights spent laughing with Max, the whispered conversations, and reflected dreams. “I’m grateful to be here. And to be with Max.”
Helmut Marko, although initially intimidating with his sharp gaze, soon warms up to you. “Just take care of our champ,” he jokes one evening after another successful race.
As the weeks pass, the bond between you and the Red Bull team strengthens. Daniel Ricciardo becomes a close friend, often joining you and Max for dinner or movie nights. Sergio Perez, with his playful humor, keeps everyone laughing, while the mechanics and engineers teach you the deeper intricacies of the sport.
Yet, it’s not all smooth sailing. The media, always hungry for a story, constantly probes into your relationship with Max. Rumors swirl, some true, most fabricated. Yet, through it all, Max remains your anchor, always supporting and defending you.
One evening, as the two of you relax in his suite after a grueling race weekend, Max turns to you, his eyes serious. “I know this world can be intense, the scrutiny constant. But I hope you know that you’re not alone in this.”
You nod, feeling a swell of emotion. “Being with you, being part of this team, it’s incredible. Like finding a family I never knew I needed.”
Max smiles, pulling you close. “That’s because you are family. And I promise, no matter what, we’ll face everyone and everything together.”
The season progresses, and as Max inches closer to clinching the championship title once again, the excitement within the Red Bull team reaches a fever pitch. Through every high and low, every victory and setback, you stand beside Max, cheering him on.
***
“Easy there!” Christian says, catching you just as the world starts to spin and your vision blurs.
The sound of concerned voices surrounds you as you struggle to stay conscious but it’s too much. Everything goes black.
When you come to, you’re lying on a couch in Red Bull hospitality, Max’s anxious face hovering above yours. “Hey,” he murmurs, relief evident in his voice. “You scared me there.”
“What ... what happened?” you ask, your voice weak.
“You fainted,” Daniel chimes in from nearby. “We’re getting a doctor to check on you.”
True to his word, a doctor soon arrives, performing a series of tests and asking various questions. He recommends a more thorough examination and you find yourself being whisked away to a nearby clinic.
As you await the results, Max holds your hand, his thumb gently stroking your skin. “I’m right here,” he assures you. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.”
The doctor returns, a knowing smile on his face. “Congratulations,” he says, looking at both of you. “You’re going to be parents.”
The room goes silent, the weight of the revelation sinking in. You turn to Max, searching his face for a reaction. “I’m sorry. I ... I didn’t expect this. It’s so soon.”
Max pulls you close, his eyes glassy with tears of joy. “Life has a funny way of surprising us,” he murmurs. “But I know one thing for sure. I can’t imagine having a family with anyone else.”
Your emotions swirl, a mix of surprise, joy, and fear. “Are you sure? What about your career? The media?”
Max silences you with a gentle kiss. “None of that matters. The only thing I care about is us. Our family.”
Tears roll down your cheeks, touched by his words. “I love you,” you whisper, heart full to overflowing.
Max grins, his blue eyes shining. “And I love you. This might be unexpected but it’s the best surprise of my life.”
***
“Three-time World Champion! How does that feel?” A journalist thrusts a microphone towards Max moments after his astounding win in Qatar.
“It’s surreal,” Max responds, his gaze seeking you out among the crowd. “Every championship is special but this one ... it’s different.”
The winter months are a haven of privacy for the two of you in your own little bubble. As the world speculates about the upcoming racing season, you and Max nest away from prying eyes, savoring the anticipation of your growing family.
However, when the 2024 season kicks off, it’s impossible to hide your baby bump any longer. Whispers ripple through the crowd as you walk through the paddock with Max for the first day of preseason testing.
“It’s so obvious now!”
“They look so happy together.”
“She’s glowing.”
But one voice rises above the rest from the sea of murmurs, filled with venom. “So this is your grand plan? Trap Max by getting pregnant?”
You turn to find Charles, his face contorted with anger. You take a deep breath, preparing to face the storm. “Charles, this really isn’t the place—”
Max steps forward, partially blocking you from Charles’ view, his voice colder than ice. “What do you want?”
Charles scoffs, looking you up and down with disdain. “Just wanted to see the spectacle for myself. You always did know how to play the game.”
Max’s eyes flash with anger, his posture tense. “Let me make this clear. You don’t get to disrespect Y/N or our relationship. You lost that right a long time ago.”
“You think this will make him stay with you?” Charles sneers towards you. “That he won’t get tired of you just like he did with all the others?”
Before you can respond, Daniel steps in, his presence commanding and the joking smile that usually graces his face nowhere to be found. “Enough. Show some respect.”
Christian, overhearing the commotion, joins the fray. “Is there a problem here?” he asks, voice firm.
Charles hesitates, glancing around at the united front against him. “No,” he finally mutters, turning on his heel and walking away.
Max’s grip on your hand tightens, his expression stormy. “You know you’re never alone in this, right?” he asks.
You nod, your voice soft but resolute. “I do. And I know you’ll always have my back. Just like I’ll always have yours.”
He squeezes your hand. “Always. Nothing and no one can ever come between us. Our family is the most important thing in my life.”
***
The soft hum of chatter surrounds the preschool’s main entrance. Parents eagerly await their children, discussing the excitement of the first day. You stand beside Max, his hand resting protectively on your protruding belly.
“Look, Mama!” A little voice exclaims and two giggling children rush towards you — your daughter, Sophie, and a boy with familiar dark hair.
Before you can respond, another voice joins the fray. “Henri! Over here!”
You turn, finding Charles standing there, Elise by his side, her arm entwined with his. Their eyes meet yours, a mixture of surprise and recognition.
Sophie hugs her little friend, Henri. “This is my new best friend!”
Max bends down, ruffling Sophie’s hair. “That’s great, liefje.” He then stands and addresses Charles, his tone neutral, “Seems our children have taken a liking to each other.”
Charles nods, attempting a smile. “It appears so.”
There’s an awkward silence, the past hanging heavily between you all.
Finally, Elise speaks, her voice quivering, “I’m sorry ... for everything. I never expected things to turn out like this.”
You meet her gaze, seeing genuine remorse. “Life is full of surprises. But it led me to Max and he is the best thing that’s ever been mine.”
Max adds, “What’s important is that we’re all here for our kids. Let’s not make our past their burden.”
Charles sighs, rubbing his temples. “You’re right. I regret many things but right now, Henri is my world and I want the best for him.”
You place a hand on your belly, feeling the tiny kicks. “Our children have a chance at a fresh start, a friendship untainted by the history of their parents. Let’s not stand in their way.”
The two children, oblivious to the emotional weight of the moment, tug at your arms. “Can we go to the park? Pretty please.” Sophie asks, her eyes shining with excitement.
You smile down at her, “Of course.”
As your two families part ways, there’s a sense of closure. The past, with its pain and betrayal, has been acknowledged, but the future, the innocent laughter of your children, holds promise. Life has moved on, leading each of you down different paths, but in this moment, there’s newfound unity in the shared hope for a brighter tomorrow.
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