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#my life is actually pretty good and very thankful for that but also i wanted to vent because im stressed
simonsrileyhusband · 15 hours
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*requests Nerd!Simon with Goth!Reader cutely.
ALSO HOW COME GHOST'S IS BOTH OUR HUSBANDS? 😠😠 Luv u pooks, BAIIIIII <3
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nu-uh, he is my husband
nerd!simon and goth!reader, collage au (bcs why not???) :
simon is a very reserved guy, he has very few friends and he doesnt really speak much, he has... unique interest, he likes comics, superhero movies, bikes and cars. he was pretty much the definition of a nerd, good grades, poor social life, awkardness, all that stuff.
you knew who he was, and if you were honest, you thought he was kinda cute. his short blonde hair and pretty blue eyes made you look at him twice when you walked pass him.
simon, on the other hand, thought you were too cool for him. always watching you from afar, being called a creep by his friend jhonny. he couldn't help it, you looked so cool with that make up and clothing, he just wanted to talk to you.
his wishes came true when your car was acting up, his trembling hands touched your shoulders, you let out a little yelp as you turned around.
"sorry, didn't mean to scare ya'.... i'm so sorry, i just... i just thought you needed some help with ya' car." pretty accent too. you smile warmly at him letting him help you.
"wow, i never thought you were the type of guy to repair cars."
"i think its fun, i like fixing stuff."
"i see... simon, right?"
"y-you know ma'name?"
"of course silly, we share a english class." he pats the hood of your car, his face a bit blushed.
"all done, but you should take her to an actual mechanic."
"thanks simon, i will. see you around." you kiss his cheek as a little thank you and get into your car, simon just stands there, flustered, frozen in place, his hand finds his way to his cheek, touching were you kissed him, a little lip gloss stain on it. oh, you'll be the death of him.
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The situation
TW: This is talking about all the Jack drama, Sh, SA, everything involved in this coversation
I wanna start this by saying that I have very limited knowledge on how the situation actually went down outside of a close friend who was involved and the posts on the situation.
If you are unaware of the situation, I suggest you look at other peoples post who have more knowledge on it, I recommend @unhinged-waterlilly or @if-chaos-was-a-boy's posts. I'm pretty sure @daonedaonlyskh also made a post, but I got my knowledge from the other two posts.
I don't feel I have enough knowledge to talk, or share my opinion. I'm making this post for entirely different reasons.
First thing; I do not hate Jack.
I have never hated Jack, and this situation does not make me hate him.
Yes, I am upset at the situation and his actions in handling, but that doesn't mean I hate him.
Next, I have recently realised that SA is a trigger subject for me thanks to this situation and other things I've realised in my private life. I am not saying this for sympathy or pity, if that's how it's coming across, I am saying this because I wish to not be tagged in anymore posts about this subject. I blocked Jack for a reason.
As someone who has been affected by this situation, I am sorry that other people have also been affected by it, or if they felt like they had to share a part of themselves they weren't ready to share.
I hope for everyone's sake (including Jack's) that we are all okay, or will be okay.
Last few things, and then I won't talk about the situation outside this post:
This situation shouldn't have gotten this far. It shouldn't happened, but it did. It should've stopped after people pointed out the situation to Jack. His apology should've been written by him (not hate at Calix. You did what you thought was right at the time) and it definitely should've stopped after yesterday's statements.
My OC's are no longer associated with Jack. This might change in the future, but I do not feel comfortable associating with him as of this moment
Please, let us move on from this situation. I am tired, and this is being dragged out at this point. Remember the difference being making an educational post and a non educational one.
I hope everyone who read this has a good day, and I suggest we all go touch some grass.
@arisdaughter @childofthewargod @dianedantedominic @kaiaalwayswins @theorphicforest
@that-girl-cupid @delilah-isnt-dead-yett @daonedaonlyskh @hispanic-child-of-hermes
@aria-pane @wine-cooper @i-am-persephones-daughter @unhinged-waterlilly
@seed-of-the-pomegranate @istglevi-gotmesimping
@if-chaos-was-a-boy @ariathemortal @i-was-never-sane @gaygirldoodles @superbstarlightsheep
If you want to be added, removed or if I forgot to tag you, let me know :)
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bueris · 4 months
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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1roentgen · 11 days
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.
#incurable yap disease#i wonder if theres a medicine that makes people shut up bc surely i need it. i just feel bad for talking a lot idk but ig i just wanna#i wanna eat/drink something but i dont know what#maybe i want an ice cream#popsicle stick#if i go to 711 i will probably buy alcohol lol#i had bamboo soup and baozi for lunch today#wasnt that much but im not hungry rn#bored#im currently reading ‘the myth of sisyphus’ by camus#its pretty dense for me i gotta say. although a lot of it so far does resonate very much#i also cant help but compare many points to some basic buddhist#concepts. For example suffering being an inescapable fact of the indifferent universe and the ‘weariness’ or ความเบื่อหน่าย that arises#in rare moments of clarity#philosophy is kind of a lot to get into but i drive myself crazy by thinking so much anyway may as well give my brain actual substance yk#honestly it just feels like my thoughts are sludge these days#horrible mixture of unidentifiable shapes and liquids#ie egotistical angstlord nonsense and brainrot internet memes#there is nothing worthwhile or interesting in my head so i am not a worthwhile or interesting person when u really get down to it#i read a quote recently somewhere; how u spend ur day is how u spend u life#theres gotta be something more than this state of non-oblivion#if i die right now#well no thanks to me but ive had a pretty good life. so i wouldn’t say it was all wasted#but i just dream of something more. existence at another level#something more purposeful#man i got a stomachache maybe i am hungry#watch me say all this then change nothing
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toastsnaffler · 22 days
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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thamks
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you after i free you from the tetrisphere
#ask#anon#im not sure what the thanks is for without assuming it to be like ''thanks. for those tags.''#anyway youre welcome? youre free from the tetrisphere now. find and enjoy life. out from the egg made of tetronimoes youve hatched from.#or whatever.#im still recovering from that nap#its fucked. i nap on my bed sometimes if i havent had enough sleep earlier in the day. and instead of using the bed normally#my ass just sleeps at the end. watching my moavies (youtube streams)#like a dog#ended up having to wake myself up cause i had my legs rested over a nearby table cause the width of the bed is not very wide#and my body feels so good when i wake up. scrunched up and shit. i feel So normal#anyway tetrisphere is a game i got long ago that. i dont know from where.#i either got it from a yard sale. or ebay. but im leaning towards yard sale. since it was around the same time i got hey you pikachu#also did you know the mic quality for hey you pikachus microphone is actually pretty decent#anyway i dont remember a lot about tetrisphere beyond you picking a robot to play as. and you drop tetrominoes onto a fucking ball#i completely forgot you freed a thing from within#as for why this was the first thing i used to reply to the ask. anytime i get an ask im not sure how to respond to. i look through my phone#and. this tetrisphere image made me laugh seeing it back when i first downloaded it#i think i had more i wanted to say but im at a loss for words now that im looking at this image again#its so beautiful and hes so free#that is how baby birds leave the egg. but opposite. they do it from the inside. instead of needing tetrominoes to open the egg.#can you tell im still not fully recovered from my fuckim nap#anyway thanks for the ask anon. i think!
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astrxealis · 1 year
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okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s#reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic#which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???)#BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with#more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way!#oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is.#i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah!#so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3#rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!!#okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there!#idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too.#i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs#i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3#i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows!#anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3#anyway. okay. leaving it here.#cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3#huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking#ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah?#can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also#quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)
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faaun · 6 months
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hi! this is unrelated to the situationship but i’ve been going through a crisis about whether i’m bi or a lesbian for like six months now lmao and iirc i think you went through something similar once, so i was just wondering if you had any tips or advice about how you figured it out? tysm!
hiii i did ! i went thru this crisis like 3 times b4 i figured out i was bi, it can genuinely rly be difficult to figure it out it :)
i'd say keep in mind that it's not important to have a label rn - just keep urself open to exploring new feelings ! but also if u want to figure it out faster, spending more time w both men and women - esp those u think you might find more attractive - might help ! for me it was having guy friends, going to clubs, dating, etc, but it can truly be anything :) since starting a hinge profile i've been seeing quite a few men that i found super pretty which confirmed things even further for me (if you go down this route remember that dating app algorithms take a while to adjust)
also remember that ur standards for men may be different, and you may have an intense preference for women which wouldn't make you any less bi ! similarly, if you genuinely cannot imagine a future or conceive of any romantic/sexual attraction between u and a man, then you may be a lesbian ! the point is that u can date ppl and find out !! ♡ also labels can change as u learn abt urself over time so it's all good if you can't land on one definitive label rn forever, it takes time and life reveals new things to us all the time 🩷
while i like knowing that men are like...within my dating pool now, since realising i'm bi basically nothing has changed for me bc i still find women so so much more attractive, so it's good to remember there truly is no rush ! take ur time experiment have fun x
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was tagged by @mooshkat (thank you friend!!) to list 8 tv shows for my followers to get to know me better!
for someone who repeatedly watches the same shows over and over and hyperfixates on certain fandoms, you’d think this would be easy for me but …. it’s not 😂
1. 9-1-1 2. 9-1-1: Lone Star 3. Young Royals 4. The Mentalist (Patrick Jane my beloved...) 5. Broad City 6. The Good Place 7. Black Mirror 8. Disjointed
I will always be re-watching at least one of these, if not multiple (right now, it's Broad City and 9-1-1 hehe)
anyway, since I just watch the same shows over and over again, I'm excited to see what everyone else watches! @wheelsupin-five (I tried tagging two-cut-lines at first lmao) @paqerings @lilbuddie @the-likesofus @shortsighted-owl @poughkeepsies @alyxmastershipper @leslieknopeinthepit
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i thought feeling perpetually overwhelmed was a uni thing but im beginning to think its just an adult thing
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the-kipsabian · 2 years
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whenever i feel bad about my existence i remind myself that kip appreciates me
#tho probably not as much as i appreciate him tbh#i mean i have him permanently inked on my skin#but yeah i have. a few stream clips saved on my phone where he talks about things and its just like#okay so chronologically first theres the cameo from last christmas after i came out as a fan with the first fanart he loved#then theres the new years donation shoutout with his incredible be yourself and do what makes you happy advice#(literally just if people dont love you for you just fuck em lol)#then theres the next one where i missed the stream after jersey but he stays how humbling it was to him to see my tattoo in person#and then the more recent one where he talks about fan interactions and how cool all the art and seeing people dress up is#and he just casually drops me by name to specifically mention the tattoo and how. to quote exactly. 'its fucking insane i love it'#like. idk man. if nobody else likes me in this life kip sabian does and i feel like thats pretty good you know#just using it as a positive vibes whenever i think im not worth a hot garbage and shit#just. get yourself a blorbo that appreciates you being a fan as much as you appreciate them being your blorbo lol#and also humble them for life. i know thats harder to do but god its so worth it#i cant wait to meet him again one day oof#sorry im just feeling things today i really just rather be home and in bed but i have to be here today unfortunately#so im thinking about this while i dont want to work anymore lol#that is all. sorry and thank you if you read all that#night is an absolute mess on main#..im also still convinced i never actually have told this man my name and yet he knows and remembers it#in case you needed to know that cause it makes me very soft too lol
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feyriejane · 2 years
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Me: *rambles about extremely well thought out and detailed romance novel plots, including how they would be arranged in a series if someone were to actually write and publish them*
My friend: These are really good ideas, why don't you write them?
Me: ... 😅 no
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krysmcscience · 11 days
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Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:
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The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.
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Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.
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It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.
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Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄
Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.
also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh
⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️
Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D
Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.
Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:
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'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.
you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH
And, finally:
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lmao this is shit
True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.
Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD
Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D
Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)
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arts-and-drafts · 2 months
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I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”
so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing
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Scar
Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought
Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words
Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.
His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)
Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)
Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people
Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)
His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is
Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments
That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)
References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)
Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”
(More under the cut!)
Grian
Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)
Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)
Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)
Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)
Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot
Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)
Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”
Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired
Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“
This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it
Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)
Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)
Mumbo
The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)
Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks
Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing
Gets very distracted with the smallest things
Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)
His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking
A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless
Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building
Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)
Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)
Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)
Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”
Joel
Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”
He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)
Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))
His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)
Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name
His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes
This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes
Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height
Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)
Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)
His most often used insult is “idiot”
When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)
Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”
Bdubs
Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host
Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds
Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”
Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)
Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms
Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)
Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)
THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard
Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)
Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens
Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone
Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”
Number one exclamation is “HEY!”
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wynnyfryd · 4 months
Text
@messessentialist told me her friend called to rant about spotting an “upsettingly beautiful boy in a tj maxx” and i vomited 1200 words about it, enjoy
fic idea: chrissy and eddie work together at tj maxx. one afternoon a guy comes in who’s so hot that it kinda just pisses eddie off? bc like, who does this gorgeous asshole think he is??? coming in here and popping his hip at eddie’s counter, like, does he even know how uncomfortable it is to start chubbin’ up in skinny jeans?? that shit chafes!
so eddie gets all flustered and responds by getting an attitude with the guy because he has zero chill (and also because the dude’s iced coffee is sweating a ring all over eddie’s counter, and so help him if his manager gets on his ass one more time about keeping his station tidy—)
“did you need help finding anything else today?” eddie sneers. “coasters, perhaps?”
upsettingly hot guy looks confused for a second before he follows eddie’s pointed glance at the plastic starbucks cup leaving a cold puddle on the laminate, and then he sneers right back; adjusts the ray bans nestled in his perfect honey brown hair and looks eddie up and down — long, slow, one eyebrow lifting in subtle elitist disapproval.
“what?” he snorts, “hot topic wasn’t hiring?”
oh, fuck you very much!
so eddie’s all ‘nemesis acquired’ and holds the biggest grudge of all time. makes a sworn enemy and a boogeyman out of the guy, turns him into urban legend, starts blaming the Upsettingly Beautiful Man for every little thing that goes wrong in his life — at work, at home, at band practice; no place is safe from the dreaded UBM.
“he’s not a fucking cryptid!” gareth snaps one day at rehearsal, chucking a drumstick at eddie’s head. “just track him down and bone already so you can shut the hell up!”
“wouldn’t he just talk about him more after they have sex?” jeff wonders, to which gareth narrows his eyes and raises his second drumstick as a threat.
meanwhile, eddie’s cute coworker chrissy (who he’s become surprisingly good friends with, to the point of referring to her as his work wife) gets a girlfriend. robin’s sooooo pretty, and soooo nice, and sooooo tall, eddie, did you know how tall she is?
yes, chrissy, he’s supremely aware of a stranger’s five-foot-eight-and-a-half stature now, thank you.
“you have to meet her!” chrissy gushes, bouncing up onto her toes.
eddie hangs another shirt. “you have to chill.”
“hey!” she pouts, pixar princess cute. “you wouldn’t tell the sun to dull its shine, would you?”
“i mean, i would, but i doubt the giant ball of plasma cares what i want.”
“okay, whatever, eeyore.” she rolls her eyes but she physically can’t stop beaming even as she does it, and eddie finds himself melting under it — some sort of radiant area attack coming from the apples of this girl’s cheeks, he swears, because the next thing he knows he’s agreeing to go to rando new girlfriend’s housewarming party this weekend so he can meet her properly.
only he doesn’t get to meet her properly, because when he shows up to the party the two bedroom apartment is packed with people he’s never seen, and it’s loud as fuck in here and he’s sweating through his leather from the six flights of stairs he had to climb to reach the place, so he steps through a sliding door out to the balcony and lo and behold, if it isn’t Upsettingly Beautiful Man looking upsettingly beautiful — positively fucking divine, actually, the last wisps of fuchsia sunset catching the gold streaks in his hair and dotting the tip of his flawless nose. Seriously, does this dude have any flaws? A scar, a birthmark, an unsightly ingrown hair? Eddie can’t even see a single blackhead for fuck’s sake.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer” the dude mutters, turning to look at him, and, “oh, my god, you again?”
“uh.”
“i’ve got a fucking coaster this time,” the guy says, lifting his solo cup and giving it a little shake to point out the cork round sitting underneath it, “so if that’s what you came out here to berate me for, then you’ll have to think of something else.”
“uh,” eddie says again, because he has no idea what brought this on but he’s pretty sure it has shit all to do with him, and pretty boy’s really working himself up now, arms moving in sharp gestures as he paces back and forth on the short balcony.
“not that it even matters if i didn’t have a coaster, because this is my house! i can do what i want with my own fucking stuff in my own fucking apartment, nance, i don’t— uh…”
pretty boy’s face blossoms rose petal red, a heavy blush creeping up his jawline as he catches himself mid rant and folds in on himself, crossing his arms over his chest with a sheepish expression.
eddie’s always had a thing for shepherding.
“i’m listening,” he says, popping a cigarette in his mouth and holding the pack out in offering. “if you care to vent.”
the guy — steve, eddie finds out — tells him all about his controlling ex-girlfriend as they work their way through two cigarettes each, the sun slipping away to reveal a full topaz moon, big and low and close, ripe citrus bending the branch of a tree. nance was a real piece of work by the sounds of it, and eddie feels like an absolute shit for the way he treated steve, who had apparently just gotten dumped the night before they met and had been out shopping for a “please take me back” present.
“like that was ever gonna work,” steve mumbles, ashing over the railing. “pathetic. anyway, sorry i was rude to you that day or whatever.”
“you weren’t.”
“nah, i was.” steve shifts his weight, knocks their shoulders together. “not that you didn’t deserve it.”
“yeahhhh,” eddie agrees, cringing at himself. “sorry.”
“all good. so what’s your story then, huh? who pissed in your cheerios that day?”
eddie blames the alcohol fumes wafting from steve’s cup — a justification that makes perfect sense and would totally hold up in a court of law — for what he says next.
“honestly? you.”
steve’s face is so cartoonishly offended that eddie busts out laughing, eyes crinkling, head thrown back.
“oh, so you’re just an asshole,” steve nods sagely. “first cute guy to flirt with me in six weeks is a lunatic. love that for me.”
“no, i—” eddie laughs, “okay, we’re coming back to how you think i’m cute, but i just meant, uh-”
oh, fuck it. eddie’s never been good at holding his cards close to the chest. more of a 52 pick up kinda guy, historically, and why change now?
“you were so gorgeous it, like, genuinely upset me for a second,” eddie admits, running his tongue over his lip. he stubs out his cigarette; turns to look right at steve. “like, uh, like cuteness aggression or some shit.”
steve mirrors his posture, leaning an elbow on the railing, nearly chest to chest. “so you are crazy,” he smiles.
“that’s correct.” eddie swallows.
steve moves in to close the gap. “good crazy?”
“fun crazy, so i’m told.”
“i’m gonna kiss you if that’s cool.”
“very”
the kiss tastes like ripe citrus
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actiniumwrites · 2 months
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if you're still doing requests: maybe one of the genshin guys finding out you use their card in tcg? scenario or headcanons is fine, and i have no preference for who you want to write! (i will say i'm fixated in the fontanians rn though)
the perfect pair
synopsis: their reaction to finding out you use their card in tcg
characters: tighnari, cyno, neuvillette, lyney, and wriothesely x gn!reader (separately)
warnings: nothing besides fluff and cyno being an actual maniac for tcg (he’s probably a little ooc but i think it’s funny)
notes: i’m ngl i totally forgot about tcg 😭 i played it SO much when it came out and then barely touched it unless it was for the primos. i gotta finish those achievements still 💀 also i know not every one of these characters has a tcg card but we can just pretend :) thank you for the request!
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Tighnari:
Because he doesn’t play tcg very often — at least not as much as Cyno does — he doesn’t find out right away
When he does, it happens at a casual dinner between you, him, and all your friends after Collei asks to play so she can try out some of her new cards
Cyno enthusiastically agrees and you all set up after you finish eating which is when Alhaitham, whose eyes never miss anything, spots a suspiciously similarly looking guy on one of your three player cards
“You seriously have your boyfriend as one of your cards?” he’ll ask with a disbelieving smile, as if he can’t comprehend why you’d have it
You smile and lift it up, proudly nodding as you list off the card’s strengths and the nice backing it came with. You don’t fail the mention the bonus that it comes with your boyfriend’s face on it
Tighnari feels his cheeks warm in slight embarrassment as he turns away in his chair. Even so, he can’t help but find it really cute that you have his card
He even tells his friends to shut up and that they’re just jealous they don’t have his card and that they wish their significant others had them as cards
It actually shuts some of them up, shockingly
Meanwhile, Cyno is in utter disbelief that such a card exists and will try to buy it off of you so he can complete his collection (you don’t let him have it though)
Cyno:
Ah the king of tcg himself
He has the most dramatic reaction for sure. Not even in the sense that he’s embarrassed, or teasing, or whatnot. He’s just straight up shocked
Slams his hands down on the table and his jaw drops as he stands up. You giggle on the other side of the table at his reaction, watching him desperately try to find words
“Where did you even get that?!”
You swear you only see him this expressive when it comes to tcg
“I don’t know, I just found it at a local store when I was passing by,” you shrug carelessly, as if you aren’t going to completely destroy him with his own card in about five minutes
After he gets over the initial awe of seeing himself in his favorite game in the entire world, he’s actually very internally excited, although you don’t get to see that side
He thinks it’s cool that you like using his card and is honored that you’d even choose it in the first place, especially with only three slots (he’s also just happy he’s a main card and not a buff lmao)
And when you do destroy him, he slides you a pen and paper and politely demands you give him the name of the seller so he can track them down tomorrow
Neuvillette:
He doesn’t even play the game so initially, he’s extremely confused why you have a playing card with his face on it
“Fascinating. I did not know they made such games. Is my card good for playing?” He’s genuinely intrigued by it and you find it rather endearing
Because he doesn’t understand it though, he doesn’t necessarily feel any certain way about it. He’s too caught up in the game to realize what it means for you to be using his card
“Yeah, it’s pretty powerful, but it’s representative of real life so that’s expected given your position.”
At that, he feels very flattered. His cheeks will warm a bit, casting a light blush over his features when you speak so proudly of him
He’ll even ask if you have a card of your own hoping to take a bit of the attention off him when he begins to feel more excited about it
You shake your head no and explain that it’s unlikely given people don’t know enough about you to make a full card of you or to sell it
Will later get one made for you without you knowing, only one singular copy worth a priceless amount just so you could have one to match him too <3
Lyney:
Smug little shit
You’re playing with him and his siblings after he invited you over for a date. Lynette and Freminet were bored so you both offered to play a game, to which tcg was suggested by Freminet
You’d played only a few times with them before, which is why you didn’t realize what was such a big deal when you pulled out a card with your boyfriend on it, entirely forgetting it was new and you hadn’t used it with them yet
“Is that…is that Lyney?” Lynette asks, stifling a laugh as she inspects the card. Freminet leans a little closer too in order to get a better look.
And it indeed is, Lyney confirms for himself
“Woah no way, I didn’t know they made this,” he smiles at it, picking it up and spinning it in his hand before smirking at you, “I knew you couldn’t resist this handsome face, even on a playing card.”
You smack his arm faster than Lynette can and snatch it back out of his hand. Lyney pouts and slouches down into his seat as his siblings inquire as to where you got it
Lyney can’t stop staring at you as you tell them, his chest beating faster and faster as you embarrassedly ramble on about why you got it in the first place and how you thought it was cute like a little keepsake
Even though you’d been dating for some quite some time, you both managed to keep surprising one another and falling in love all over again, even if it was over silly things like tcg cards
Lynette sighs as she notices the lovestruck look in her brother’s eyes, “He’s doomed.”
Wriothesley:
He’s weirdly calm about the whole thing. Not like he’d be over dramatic or anything, but I don’t think he’d be as teasing or shocked by it like the others or like some may assume
Wriothesley thinks it’s really cool when he finds it in your collection one day after you left your card case in his office by accident, a few cards slid out with his face popping out on one tucked away in the middle
He’ll examine it before a gentle smile pulls at his lips at the thought of you using it to play against others
He’s almost proud, in a way
When you walk into his office a ten minutes later, realizing you had left your cards and a few other of your things on his desk, you stumble upon him looking at it
“Oh, uh you weren’t supposed to see that yet,” you say awkwardly as you pause in your step and fiddle with your hands, embarrassed he had found it. It was a somewhat new card and you actually wanted to show it to him later
But Wriothesley doesn’t care. Hell, if he had known there was a card out there with him on it, he would’ve bought it for you a long time ago
He’ll just kiss you. A nice, sweet, and to the point kiss as he slides the card back in your hand before pulling away and staring down at you, “You’re cute.”
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