#ended up having to wake myself up cause i had my legs rested over a nearby table cause the width of the bed is not very wide

[skeletalheartattack]

thamks

you after i free you from the tetrisphere

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Personal Heater - T.Nott

Summary - Theo acts as his sleepy girlfriend's personal heater on the night before Christmas, much to the dislike of their friends and roommates.

Word Count - 609

Warnings - foul language, drinking, female reader, use of Y/N, brief mention of troubling family, (Let me know if I missed any!)

Author's Note - Welcome to day three! I'm hoping to stay caught up with my writing, the end of my semester is approaching so everything is kinda piling up on me. I'm trying my best!

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

my masterlist

25 days of fics masterlist

Enjoy!

not my gif

not my gif

Spending Christmas at Hogwarts wasn’t all that bad. It was quite nice to wake up and not have the responsibility of acting civil with family that were never around or family that liked to cause problems. Theodore and most of his friends decided that they’d stay during Christmas break, the night before Christmas, the boys were all awake in the common room. Some of them were playing wizards chess and the others were just fooling around with the other boys. 

As it neared midnight, Y/N and Pansy had made their way to the common room with the rest of their friends. Pansy sitting between Blaise and Draco and Y/N making herself comfortable next to Theo. Once he got a good look at her, he knew right away that she had just woken up, her eyes were red and sleepy, her body was warm against his and her eyes were watering with how much she had been yawning.

“Lay down bellissima, you look tired,” Theo whispered in her ear, she looked up at him with a loving gaze. She took his offer willingly, kissing his cheek in return as she laid her head down on his shoulder and her legs over his lap.

“Thank you, Theo,” She whispered back, a drowsy tone laced in her voice. 

Within minutes, she had fallen back asleep, this time sleeping soundly in her boyfriend’s arms where she wished she was when she had fallen asleep earlier in the night. Crabbe decided that now was a great time to become obnoxiously loud for no reason at all. “Shut up you buffoon! If you wake her up I will not hesitate to kill you,” Theo threatened the boy, who immediately shut his mouth in fear.

“How dare anyone wake his bellissima! Oh it's blasphemous!” Pansy teased earning a deadly glare from the boy.

“Shut up Pans,” Y/N mumbled sleepily, snuggling herself closer to her boyfriend’s warmth. 

“Let’s go to bed before you fall asleep again,” Theo suggested before urging her up from the couch and leading her to his dorm. 

“Why are the dungeons so cold?” She whined, her feet freezing on the concrete of the dungeons despite the thick socks on her feet. 

“We are surrounded by concrete, amore mio. Of course it’s going to be cold.”

She rolled her eyes in a playful manner as she climbed into his bed. She was shivering at this point, her teeth chattering against each other. He climbed into bed with her, holding her body close to his. She slid her hands under his shirt to try and warm them, Theo wiggling away from them. “Salazar bellissima, your hands are so cold!” He shrieked in surprise. 

“And you’re so warm, Teddy! I can’t help myself, you’re like my own heater,” She told him. The two of them shared a laugh before letting out yawns. Neither of them remember falling asleep, only remembering sleepy laughter and getting woken up by a drunk Blaise and Draco as the sun began to rise. “What time is it, you heathens?” She asked her boyfriend’s drunk roommates.

“Like 6,” Blaise slurred out before collapsing on his bed. She looked to her boyfriend who had messy hair and droopy eyes. 

“Happy Christmas, Teddy,” She whispered to him.

“Happy Christmas, amore mio,” He whispered back before planting a kiss to her lips. He let out a hum as he pulled away, “Your lips are cold.”

“Maybe you could warm them for me?” She winked at him causing a chuckle from him and a collective groan from his roommates. In turn, Theo closed the curtains and took his girlfriend up on her suggestion.

[sarawritestories]

You're My Forever

High Lord Eris Vanserra xFem Reader

Summary: Eris Vanserra sits on his throne, allowing himself to be lost in his thoughts when his mate comes looking for him.

Content warning: A little bit of self doubt. A whole lot of love

A/N: This is dedicated to @milswrites who helped me have a major breakthrough in a plot of my Novel and this was the best way I knew how to thank her!

Word Count: 1.3k

ACOTAR MasterList

Eris Vanserra, High Lord of the Autumn Court.

A title the eldest Vanserra child never thought he would receive. Running his hands along the gold arm rests of the throne, as if the cold bite of the metal could keep him rooted in reality a reminder that he wasn’t dreaming. Beron was dead. His reign of terror came to an end. This throne, this manor, the entire Court of Autumn was Eris’. Eris sat on the extravagant piece of furniture crossing his leg over the other and allowed himself this one moment to be lost in his thoughts. A moment where he let his doubts rise to the surface.

Would he be a fair ruler?

Could he make a difference within his court?

Was he a good mate? A good husband?

Would he make a good father?  Make sure his kids experienced no harm by his hand as he had with Beron?

Was this just a dream? Would he wake up tomorrow back in the clutches of

“Eris?” Eris blinked at the sound of his name looking up he couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your voice. You had stepped into the throne room a pink silk robe wrapped around yourself, your hand supporting your swollen belly. Your hair fell in soft curls right above your chest, face as radiant as ever.

The newly appointed High Lord met your eyes once more, his mate, his beautiful mate, wife soon-to-be mother, the most beautiful female in all of Prythian in his eyes. Your soft smile still made his chest tighten. “My Little Doe, what are you doing out of bed?”

You approached the dais, you were halfway through your pregnancy and walking was becoming more challenging, “I’m looking for my husband, who should have met me in bed hours ago.” She stopped right in front of him and looked around the room, “I can’t seem to find him, High Lord, you wouldn’t happen to know where he is?”

Eris rubbed his chin as his eyes dipped slightly, your robe slipped down revealing your shoulders just enough, that Eris saw the light pink lace bra and the swell of your breast. and he adjusted in his seat. “My fair maiden, what does this male look like?”

“Handsome, has adorable freckles across his nose, eyes that resemble fiery embers.” Your eyes glanced down to his mouth, “A very kissable mouth,” You smiled, “His hair is red and long and smooth enough that I find myself always running my fingers through it.” You grip his knee clad in his riding clothes from going out to the villages earlier.

“Well, he sounds very beautiful,” Eris puffed out his chest causing you to giggle, and he loved that melodic sound. “He must be if he was lucky enough to have you, as his mate.” His throat tightened; he was a lucky male indeed.

“I believe I am the lucky one. The mother blessed me with a mate, who is brilliant, kindhearted and passionate as he is pretty.” Your smile fell slightly. “Are you okay?”

Eris smiled, and adjusted his legs and patted his lap, “Come here, My Love.”

The High Lord tilted his head as you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth. “I’m too big, I’ll hurt you.”

Eris growled, as his brows furrowed, “We’ve talked about this.” He leaned down and gripped your chin, “What did I say?”

You sighed, “I am growing a person, and with that is going to be changes I’m simply not used to.” He quirked a brow, waiting for you to continue. “And if you heard anyone talking down about me, you would be the one to teach them a lesson. Even if said person was me.”

The male kissed your forehead, “Good Girl, now come here and sit on your High Lord’s lap.” He released you from his grasp and leaned back. You stepped toward him, and Eris helped turn you and placed you on his lap, picking your legs up so that they dangled over the arm rest. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, and you placed your hand on the base of his neck. With a flick of his hand all the doors that led to the room locked causing you to jump briefly. “Now, where is that sweet little babe of ours?” You smiled as he tugged at the tie of your robe and the strings fell to the side and the silk slid off your round stomach. Revealing lace panties that matched your top, garter belts holding your sheer stockings in place. With his free hand he grazed your calf and worked his way up your body.

 As he began his slow ascent up your body, he could smell your arousal, “Waiting for me in bed? I am a fool.” He reached your stomach, admiring the stretchmarks that have appeared in the last few months. His russet eyes, met yours, “You are the most beautiful creature, and how hope our child is just as beautiful as their mother.” You could feel heat rise to your cheeks, as you leaned your head back as Eris warmed his hands just a bit to ease the discomfort.

“Eris Vanserra, I know what you’re doing.”  You lifted your head quirking your brow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His lips pressed to your stomach his fingers sliding under the waistband of your panties.

Your hand found his wrist. And he lifted his head, “Eris, what’s wrong?”

Eris sighed and moved his hand, wrapping you back in your robe. “Nothing is wrong. I have everything I want. I have my court, my throne,” He pressed his forehead to yours, “My beautiful mate, carrying my child.” He closed his eyes. “I’m terrified that I will wake up, and I will find that this will all be a dream.”

“Darling, how long have you been feeling this way?” You whispered pressing your hand to his cheek swiping your thumb a crossed his freckled cheek idly.

“Since I became High Lord.” Before you could scold him, he continued, “I didn’t want to worry you. Or worse, I was afraid that you would think I would turn into my father and leave.”

“You’re my mate, my equal,” You pulled away and lifted his chin, so he met your gaze, “When I accepted the bond, I did it because I love you. Because I knew then what I know now.”

Eris tilted his head, “What is it that you know?”

You leaned in and kissed his nose, “You’re my Forever. I will always choose you.”

Eris smiled and pressed his lips on yours and you granted him access to deepen the kiss. His tongue met yours as he devoured your taste. You moaned in his mouth and felt his cock rise to attention against your ass. You began to move your hips to give the high lord the friction he craved, and he grunted in your mouth. His fingers threading through your hair as he dominated the kiss, his hand idly rubbing your stomach.

He pulled away from you needing air, “You’re mine and I love you.”

You laughed, “I figured, the child in my womb would have been a strong argument for both of those statements.”

Mischief danced in his eyes, “You know I am keeping track of all of your rule breaking for when I can properly punish you.”

You smiled and pecked his lips, sliding off his lap facing the door. Turning your head you winked, “I’m well aware, High Lord.” You untied the robe and let the pink silk fall to the floor turning back to face the High Lord. He admired your full body, and his heart rate began to quicken. “Now, may I show you how much I love you?" You got down on your knee’s hands braced on his thighs.

Eris began unlacing his pants a smirk on his face, “As you wish, High Lady.”

[matthewswifeee]

Roommates

In which Matt and (Y/n) are roommates and end up having to share a bed.

. inspired by : @vickytaa

.

.

"How is it still wet" Matt says annoyed as he stands over top of the damp mattress. Last night Matt and I threw a party at our apartment and lets just say Chris had one to many, resulting in the puke that we had to clean off of Matt's bed. It was now about midnight the next night, Matt's bed is still wet and Chris and Nick are both passed out in our living room, giving Matt no place to sleep.

"It's fine just sleep in my room" I say as I finish folding his bed sheets. "Are you sure.. I don't wanna like make you uncomfortable or anything" he says taking the sheets from my hands. "There's no difference in us falling asleep on the couch together or having to share a bed for one night Matt" I say, the truth is I really didn't care about sharing a bed with Matt, if it was for one night or thirty.

Matt and I have been flirty before plenty of times, we even almost kissed quite a few times. The only reason Matt and I haven't done anything more is because neither of us have acted on it, so why would that change tonight.

Matt and I both go into my room as I finish getting ready for bed. I come out of my bathroom to see Matt already asleep on one side of the bed. I crawl into bed, setting my phone down on the nightstand bedside me. I lay down and Matt almost immediately places his hand on my waist pulling me a bit closer to him and before I know it I fall asleep.

Just a few hours later I wake up, my back fully pressed up against the front of Matt's body. I hear him breathing heavily making me look back at him only to see that he is very much still asleep. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep, but once I make one move I feel how hard he is and quickly realize what is causing the sounds coming from him, he's having a wet dream.

The thought alone is making me unbelievably wet and once he starts almost moaning the heat between my legs grows more and more. I subconsciously start grinding against him as he holds me close. "Fuck (Y/n)" he grunts quietly under his breath, but still sound asleep, no way he's dreaming about me. I lay there for a second longer and he does it again, fuck it, I think to myself before getting up and taking off my pajama pants.

I then crawl back over to Matt, who is now on his back, sliding down his pants along with his boxers. I grind against him a bit more before pulling my panties to the side and sinking down on to him. I gasp as I take in his entire length, I pause for a moment letting myself get used to his size. I start slowly bouncing up and down, seeing his eyes flutter open as he wakes up. "You feel so good" Matt says in his raspy tired voice as his hands find their way to my hips. He guides me up and down his dick helping me to pick up the pace as he leans his head back in pleasure.

I start to go faster and faster, chasing my own high just watching Matt completely fall apart with me on top of him. "Ma-matt" I moan with my hands resting on his chest for support. Matt then somehow flips us over so that he's on top. He slides out of me just long enough to take off my underwear before slipping back in and picking up the pace once again. "Faster" I moan quietly as my hands find their way into his messy hair.

I wrap my arms around Matt pulling him as close to me as he can get, with the room full of the sounds of our skin slapping together and my dripping core. I'm a mess moaning loudly in Matt's ear as he continues to thrust in and out of me at a fast pace while I feel the not in my stomach about to unravel. I try to warm Matt but I was unable to get the words out. He quickly noticed that I was close and reached down rubbing circles around my clit.

"F-fuck" Matt grunts into my ear which just made me even wetter. "I'm go-gonna c-cum" he practically moans making me losing it completely and before I knew it the sheets beneath us were soaked as I finished. "Cu-cum inside of m-me" I moan making him somehow go even faster and seconds later I feel the warm sticky liquid coating my insides.

Matt flips us over again so that I'm on top of him and makes me lay on him while he's still inside of me. We both lay there out of breath until I try to get off of him, he grabs my hips not letting me move. "No, I want you to stay just like this.. with me inside of you" Matt whispers as he lightly grabs my ass, soon after we fell asleep just like that.

[a-pute11as]

okay okay, you're stronger - cata coll

cata and r have a movie night that turns into a 'whose stronger' competition, but an overly friendly cuddle ends up being caught by keira and ellie.

words - 910

“catalina you’re crushing me, i can’t breathe” i gasped out as her arms tightened around my chest. 

a movie night between ‘friends’ had somehow turned into multiple arm wrestles, which turned into who had the stronger arms, which i obviously argued that i did, causing cata to chase me around the kitchen until she eventually caught me. 

“so say i’m stronger or i’ll keep going” she teased, holding me from behind as her arms got tighter and tighter as i refused to admit that she had the strong arms, clearly i was wrong. 

“never” i gasped, the pressure continuing. 

“admit it, or i’ll squeeze you even tighter” she was starting to get out of breath too, you could tell the effort she was putting into crushing me was taking energy out of her too. 

“okay okay, you’re strong” i quickly said, causing her to relax ever so slightly. 

“one more chance, you know that’s not what you needed to say” she said, as she began to tighten her arms again. 

“fine okay, catalina you have the strongest arms anyone could ever have and i know you could lift a building if you tried” i gasped out, her grip instantly releasing as i spoke. 

“aw, you’re too kind” she smiled sweetly, turning me around by my shoulders to meet her face. 

“can we go back to the movie now? keira is going to be back soon and she always interrupts it by talking over it” i said, rolling my eyes. 

“si, i’ll take you to the sofa with my big strong arms” in a swift move she had put me over my shoulder and started marching to the sofa. usually i’d protest it, but this was a very common move from cata, especially when she thought she had won on something. 

she placed me down on the sofa before sitting next to me, our feet up on the coffee table with a blanket covering us. she pressed play on the tv remote before wrapping an arm around me, allowing my head to rest on her shoulder. 

within 10 minutes we were back in the same position we were before the ‘who's stronger’ debate started, cata had her back to the arm of the sofa whilst i laid in between her legs with my head on her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair. 

our friendship had always been very close, ever since i transferred to barcelona she had always made me feel welcome. however the more our friendship grew, the more comfortable we got with each other, the more casual flirting happened which meant friendly movie nights like tonight ended with us being wrapped around each other, in more ways than one. which also meant we did what we could to keep the extra details away from our teammates. 

the conversation had come up multiple times, anytime we thought of taking it further, there was a collective worry that our friendship would be ruined so we left it how it was. 

“estas cansada, mi amor?” she asked, causing me to nod my head against her chest. (are you tired, my love?)

“are you?” i mumbled tiredly back.

“si, very” she replied with a small yawn. 

with that we both drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. 

“stop they look so cute like that” 

i shuffled myself slightly assuming i was having one of those dreams that felt incredibly real, like as if you’re falling and then you suddenly wake up and you're perfectly safe in bed.

“oh they’re going to hate these photos so much”

my eyes slowly started to open as i processed the figures standing in front of us. keira and ellie were stood in front of us with their phones pointed towards us giggling. 

“fuck off” i said, quickly bringing my hand up to my face to cover myself. 

“no no, this is too good to not show everyone” ellie said as she continued taking pictures. 

i felt cata start to move underneath me as the noise began to wake her up. 

“qué está pasando?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. (what is happening?)

“we’ve been caught” i huffed, sticking my middle finger up at the two girls. 

“i think we need to get a picture with them, we are missing out” keira said, as her and ellie moved in front of us so the picture would include all 4 of us.

“dios mios” cata uttered, shutting her eyes as if that would make it disappear. (my god)

“okay we will leave you two alone, don’t do anything i wouldn’t do” ellie winked, as they walked back out of the apartment. 

it didn’t take long for my phone to ping, making me lean over to pick it up from the coffee table and check my messages.

keira - at least 5 of you owe me money now [one attachment]

patri - i knew it, give me my money claudia

alexia - tell her to put that finger down

pina - merida, le debo dinero a dos personas (shit, i owe two people money)

mapi - look at the love birds!

my hands quickly moved to respond to the texts.

me - we are just friends taking a nap together

ingrid - yes, that’s exactly how maria and i take naps too

“i have a feeling everyone knew” i said, turning my phone around to show her the messages. 

“well training is going to be eventful” cata shook her head with a small laugh.

spell check and grammar were not my friends during this, so very sorry for any errors xo

[xveenusx]

Enough

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Realizing that no matter what you do, no matter how much you love someone, you are still not enough.

Author’s note: I’ve had a severe case of writer’s block so please don’t hate my disappearance.

Rating: Pure brutal angst

Warnings: fucking painful

__________________________

I think I may have made a small miscalculation.

My eyes trailed over the mass of muscle currently spread out on my bed.

Rafe Cameron.

Kook King, heir to Ward's real estate empire, and asshole extrodinare was sleeping soundly in my bed. It was almost laughable if I wasn't so fucking terrified.

The sunlight danced across his tan skin, the sheets bunched up at his hips leaving little to imagination. My breath caught as my eyes followed the small happy trail causing memories of last night to assualt me.

Sitting on the chaise lounge chair, I curl up against the pillows humming softly to myself. Bringing the mug up to my lips, I bite back a smile at the utter relaxtaion on his face.

When Rafe told me to pack a bag, my stomach flipped with nerves. Being the maid of the infamous Cameron family wasn't exactly ideal in the eyes of his family let alone being a pogue. So we kept our relationship a secret at his request. He had too much to lose if his family reacted poorly.

People wouldn't understand. Ward wouldn't understand. That's what he always told me.

Yet, as much as I tried to understand his reasoning, a small part of me ached at the thought of it being much simpler: I just wasn't enough.

It was exahusting to say the least. Always having to hide and watch as other women with more social status and money than me throw themselves at him. It didn't help that Rafe had a tendency to flirt back causing the green monster known as jealousy to rear its ugly head in my face.

So I stuck with what I knew how to do: clean.

And just as I begin to fall off the deep end, straight over a cliff into overthinking, Rafe always manages to pull me back out. This time he did it by offering a small getaway.

The Cameron's weren't set to use their beach house for another month or so, leaving this entire property for Rafe and I to simply enjoy each other's company. Something we rarely get to do.

There was no need to pretend here.

A groan pulled me out of my thoughts directing my eyes to the bed. A cool salty breeze swept in from the open balcony doors, the sounds of waves crashing agaisnt the shore soothed me.

Rafe peered at me from under his arm with a frown marring his features.

"What's with that face?"

"I don't like waking up alone." He complained, staring at me expectantly.

Giddiness singes every nerve in my body as I set down my mug and scurry over to the bed. The moment my knees hit the bed, strong arms envelope me and tug me into a warm prison.

"Mmmmh." Rafe hums, burying his face into the nape of my neck while his hand slowly tugs my leg over his hip. A small giggle slips from my lips at his softness.

"Are you laughing at me?" His voice rumbled with sleep.

"Yes, you’re a very simple man to please."

"I didn't have you, and now I do. There, it's simple."

My heart melted at his words. For someone who struggled wiht expressing how he felt, Rafe always managed to knock me on my ass.

"What did you wanna do today?" I asked, trailing my fingertips along his face, placing every freckle, every spot to memory.

Blue crytsalized eyes follow me every move. "You. In every room in this house. Then outside."

Blushing at his words, I huffed in fake annoyance and playfully shoved his face away from me. "Rafe, I'm being serious."

"I'm being dead serious, baby." He nipped at my fingers before rolling over onto his back, dragging me directly on top.

I rest my chin on the tops of my hands that laid on his chest and stare at the beautiful man below me. Rafe's fingers thread themselves into my hair brushing it softly, alomst lulling me to sleep.

I wanted to capture this moment forever. The sound of the seagulls chirping, the smell of the salty breeze, the warmth of his body under mine, and the utter adortion that dances in his eyes as he looks at me. It was intimate and real. And for a moment, I allowed myself to dream about the possibility of this becoming a reality.

The abilty to hold his hand in public and kiss his body in private. Being able to go on dates and be on his arm for events and dinners. Hanging out with his friends and his family because I knew what they meant to him. Being able to wake up in his bed rather than sneaking out in the middle of the night. I wanted it all.

Our picture perfect bubble. And consider me naive, but I thought this moment would last forever. But the thing about bubbles is they always pop in the end.

"Guess what?" Rafe asked, his cerulean orbs intense and sincere.

A beaming smile stretched across my lips at the familiar phrase he always used. "What?"

"I love-"

"I love you." I beat him to it, making him let out a deep bellyed laugh. I was memoriezed, enamoured by every little thing he did. I wanted to hear it again and again.

Opening my mouth, "No take backs-"

A knock on the door interrupts me.

That's when our bubble pops.

"Rafe? Open up." Sarah Cameron's voice fillters in from the other side of the door.

My eyes dart to Rafe, only for his face to be painted with sheer panic. In seconds, I'm shoved off the side of the bed and fall onto the floor in a heap of sheets.

My mind took a moment to catch up with my body. But when it did, the flood of emotions that crashed into me were nothing short of excruciating. An immediate lump formed in my throat at his actions as I try to make quick excuses for him but nothing came to mind.

"Just stay down, please." The sound of his request has me closing my eyes, his words hitting me deep, knifelike in the size of the wounds that they left.

I nodded softly. I remain still on my side on the cold floor as I numbly stare at the wall.

"Sarah, what the fuck are you doing here? I had the beach house for the weekend." His words were low and sharp, nothing like how he spoke to me mere seconds ago.

"Chill out. My friends and I wanted to get away a little, plus I figured you were already here, so. "

"You brought those fucking pogues here?"

I hear her scoff. "Your friends are worse."

"Just make sure they don't steal anything. I know it's hard for them considering they wouldn't see this type of money in a life time." His words were cruel, twisting the knife deeper into my chest.

I couldn't help but wonder if there was a double meaning behind his words. I was a pogue, just like Sarah's friends, and it would take me years to afford even a fraction of what's in this beach house.

Was that how he saw me? Was this the reason why we couldn't be public?

"Have you seen her? She wasn't at the house when I left." Sarah's question drew me back to the present.

I held my breath as I waited for him to answer about my whereabouts. I couldn't take another hit.

"I know you have about two brain cells, but please tell me why you would think I know where the help is?"

All my breath left my body and I fought the urge to scream. A heavy weight sat on my chest as I blankly stared at the floor, my eyeballs burning in absolute mortification.

"God, you're such an asshole."

"I aim to please. Now leave me alone." With that, Rafe slammed the door shut but I refused to move a muscle.

Instead, I tried to focus on my breath. It was the only thing that would keep me from having a panic attack. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but it's like my body forgot how to breathe.

Tears finally began to fall silently as I gasped for breath, clutching the sheet closer to my chest. Humilation pricked my very being as his words play on repeat in my mind.

Rafe was the best part of my day. He made me want things I didn't even know I wanted. And yet, this was how he viewed me. So small and insiginifcant.

Footsteps move in my direction but I paid them no mind. Moving was impossible, so I just stayed in the spot where Rafe thought I belonged— on the cold hard floor.

"I know how it looks, just give me a chance to explain." I felt him kneel beside me, his hand reaching to cup my face. I jerked my face away from him and return my attention to the wall.

"Can you please get off the floor?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"This is where you wanted me, right?" The words left a stale taste in my mouth.

My heart pounded in my throat as a hot flush filled my cheeks.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I couldn't. It hurt too much.

"Baby, please. Look at me." He touched my chin and I felt my body shudder.

"Don't touch me." The words tore out of my chest as I wrenched myself away from him.

Rafe's eyes tracked my movement and his face became very still as if contemplating his next move.

The level of betrayal I felt must have been painted on my face, because his expression shifted to one of regret.

"I made a mistake-"

"Stop." I snapped, lifting my hand to cut him off. "Get out. I need to change and leave before Sarah see's me."

"I drove you, where are you going to go when you don't have a car?"

My eyes narrow at his tone. Once again he was painting me as this helpless girl that was nothing without him.

"I have two legs that work perfetly fine."

Rafe crossed his bulging arms against his toned chest. "You're not leaving until we talk."

A fake laugh past my lips. "We're done, there's nothing left to talk about."

He let out a growl of frustation. "We're not breaking up."

Was he delusional?

"This is me breaking up with you. We are done, Rafe."

Rafe's icey blue eyes narrowed into slits. "Stop trying to break up with me."

"You threw me off the bed!" I shouted, my hands pointing to the floor where I laid moments ago, the shame still fresh as an open wound.

"You threw me off the bed." I repeated softer, my voice breaking at the end. "The bed, Rafe. Just so Sarah didn't see you with me."

"I shouldn't have done that-"

"It happened. It's done. Just let me leave."

Protecting what little self respect I had left was my only goal. No matter how much I loved him, it wasn't worth this constant stream of self doubt and humiliation that seemed to follow us like a plague.

Rafe stared at me for a moment before he jumped into action. Heading towards my suitcase, I watch frozen as he goes through my clothes, picking an outfit for me.

Taking several strides to me, Rafe shoved the clothes into my arms, his breath heavy. "Put these on."

"Rafe, what the hell are you doing-"

"I made a mistake. One that I'm going to fix right now. So stop fighting with me and put these on."

Unease filled me chest as my eyes dart to the clothes.

"How?"

"No more hiding. You and me, okay?"

I stared into his hopeful gaze, looking for even a flash of insincerity or deceit, but only found sheer determination. "Rafe, you can get out of this. I'm giving you an out-"

He shakes his head roughly, strands of golden hair falling on his forehead. "I don't want an out, I want you. So put the clothes on so I can go tell the world I love you."

I snorted, "Seems a bit melodramatic. Let's start small, yeah?"

Pushing his hair back, a sexy smile pulled at his lips. "Small."

I made my decision. Turning around, I grabbed the clothes and began to dress.

I wiped my sweaty hands against my mini white sundress as nerves begin to prick every bit of my skin. Rafe stood in front of me, his glacial eyes soft, with his hand held out for mine. "Ready, baby?"

Hope inflated my lungs as I placed my trembling hand in his, the cool feel of his rings brining a familiar type of comfort.

Rafe leads us out of the room and towards the staircase where voices floated up from downstairs. I was nervous. Extremely nervous. He was going to do it. Rafe was going to introduce me as his girlfriend to his sister and her friends, no less.

The sound of our footsteps echoed against the giant house causing the voices to slowly die away.

Coming into view, Sarah and the pogues are all perched in the living room wearing beach attire. An open bottle of tequila and shot glasses are spread along the table.

All eyes zone in on us before they zoom in on our clased hands. Sarah's eyes widened and I fought the urge to pull my hand from Rafe's grasp. As if sensing my thoughts, Rafe squeezed my hand reassuringly and moved me slightly in front of him.

He cleard his throat. "I uh-"

His eyes shot to mine. I let my fingers brush against his arm in encouragement, a proud smile gracing my lips.

This was the first step in the right direction. Once we told Sarah, it would be easier with each passing person.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach like a zoo. I knew how hard this was for him, but he was still doing this for me, for us. Rafe was finally making us a priority. The unattainble future now felt like it was within my reach.

"Sarah, there's something I want to tell you. I've um-well I've been seeing-"

The front door slammed.

"Looks like we're missing all the fun." Ward Cameron walked in, hand in hand with Rose. A loose linen shirt with thin pants dress his body with a hat and an expensive pair of sungalsses cover his face.

I felt Rafe's grip slowly loosen on my hand. Panic clawed at my throat as I turn my head to look at him. Rafe stared directly ahead with his jaw clenched. He refused to even look at me.

In a last ditch effort to cling onto the invisible string that held us together, I tightened my grip on his hand but Rafe jerked his hand away.

I felt the pressure in my chest finally pop and the string that once tethered us together finally tear. Dread sat in my stomach like lead and bile traveled up my throat.

He made his decision and once again, it wasn't me.

Heat rushed up my neck as I left my arms hang limply at my side. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't think. My shoulders slumped as I bit down on my tongue hard enought to draw blood.

It kept me from screaming.

"Rafe, thank god you brought the help. Though it looks like she hasn't been doing much cleaning." Rose tsked as she looked at the littered table in distaste. "Honey, be a dear and make us new drinks. Then when you have a minute, our bags are out front. Go ahead and put them in our room."

With a wave of a hand she dismissed me, as her and Ward walk passed me with no other acknowlegment.

My mouth went dry as I clenched my shaky shands together. I could feel Sarah's gaze drilling into the side of my head, but I couldn't look at her. Instead, I once again looked at the bane of my existance. The source of this crippling pain the crushes every inch of my soul.

"Rafe..." My voice trembled as I begged him, pleaded, for him to look at me. Just once.

I wanted him to see my face. He refused, the only hint of his turmoil was the bob of his adam's apple.

Swallowing my pride, I put my head down and do what I do best: clean.

____________________

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me alive. I spent the rest of the day doing every little thing Rose asked. I kept my head down and said not one word.

Rafe made my place in his life very clear so I was going to be exactly what he wanted me to be. The perfect little maid.

The entire Cameron family sat at the table for dinner, John B included, as I gently set each of their plates down in front of them. I held my breath once I reached Rafe, knowing that one hint of his expensive musky cologne would send me into a fit of tears.

"Thank you." The timber of his voice caused me to close my eyes briefly in pain.

A familiar touch to my wrist made me jerk away and clear my throat. I continue serving dinner, forcing myself to ignore the gravity that's pulling me towards him.

"That'll be all, you can go relax for a bit. We'll need you back to clean up, of course."

"Of course." My smile was brittle. I allowed myself only a glance. Rafe glared down at his plate, hands clenched into fists at his side.

My feet moved on their own accord and soon I found myself outside, standing beside the pool that overlooked the shore. Taking in gulps of air, I placed my head in my hands.

Starting over was never something I planned. Once I met Rafe, everything else shifted into perspective. All I ever thought about was moving forward with him and starting a life together. One that he would be proud of. One where I didn't have to hide.

"I'm sorry." The words came from behind me and burned a whole straight through my chest.

I choked back on my tears that threatened to drown me and stare down at the rag in my hands.

"Baby." He moved closer now, his heat pressing into my side.

A small shake of my head was all I could muster. The armour I placed around my delicate heart was getting weaker with each passing second.

"I said, I'm sorry." His hand reaches for my waist, turning me to face my destruction.

A light blue linen shirt paired with white six inch seamed shorts don his body. A large gold watch decorated his wrist to match the shiny gold necklace that rested on his chest.

Looking down at myself, a simple tee and leggings, the contrast was so striking it was laughable. In what world had I fooled myself into thinking Rafe Cameron was mine.

Deciding to proctect my sanity, I moved back towards the house with every intention of cleaning up before grabbing my bag and leaving when Rafe blocked my escape.

"Did you hear me? I'm so fucking sorry, for all of it."

"I heard you." Indifference lacing every word.

Rafe gowled, running his hands through his hair in frustation at my lack of emotion. "Stop acting like you don't care and just talk to me."

"I don't care what your family thinks of me and I don't care what you think of me. I dont care anymore, Rafe."

Rafe gripped my chin and his irate gaze burned me. "Tell me what to do to fix it."

There was nothing left of me for him to fix.

The sound of Ward calling out my name is enough to distract Rafe. Pulling my face from his grasp, I promplty turned around and headed towards the house.

"Stop fucking walking." He barked out harshly.

Ignoring his words, I continue to head in the direction of the house. Only a few more hours and I can leave with my head held high despite the gaping hole in my chest.

"I swear to God, stop walking." I could hear his footsteps behind me causing a rush of adrenaline to spread like wildfire through my veins.

"Last time I checked, you work for my family. My last name is fucking Cameron so if I tell you to stop walking, you stop fucking walking." The words are cruel and dark and they have their desired effect because I stop immediately in my tracks.

My eyes began to burn as I pivoted on my heel and slwoly turned to face him. His gaze hardened and I can see him contemplating something before a vicious smirk decorates the face I love.

A glass tumblr was in his hand and I watched in absolute shock as he tilted the cup, spilling the dark liquid onto the floor. The rag in my hand suddenly weighed eight tons as I realized his intent.

"Clean it up."

My blood turned ice cold and a sound a disbelief left my lips.

"I said, Clean. It. Up." He gestured to the floor.

I searched his eyes for anything, for everything, but there's nothing there. Looking back down at the mess, I nodded my head and slowly dropped to my knees.

Tears blurred my vision as I scrubbed the floor clean, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Our fate was finally sealed in that moment.

Leaning back on the heels of my feet, I swallowed. Tears clung to my lashes but the damage was already done. The trails the tears left in their wake burned into my skin as a reminder of his cruelty.

His cold mask finally cracked at the sight of my tears. Rafe took a step in my direction but something in my face made him halt.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Cameron?” I averted my eyes from his.

A harsh noise escaped his lips then he reached out and grabbed my shoulders. I closed my eyes at the heat of his touch and my lips began to quiver.

“I just wanted you to talk to me….” Rafe spoke softly, his words pained.

I wiped my tears harshly and forced myself to look at him for the last time. His hard glacial eyes study my face.

The memory from this morning continued to fade out of my reach. Pain filled me as I realized that was the last time we would ever be together.

“Am I free to go, Mr. Cameron?”

His face crumbled. For a second, one second, a twisted sense of happiness hit me at the sight of his pain. Rafe did this to us. Not his family, not his friends, but him.

Rafe’s face became very still. He nodded slightly and relief filled me. I stared into his eyes, hoping he could see all the love I had been so willing to shower him with, but it was now too late.

Giving him my back, I allowed the dirty rag in my hand drop. 20 more steps. That’s all that stood between me and the next chapter of my story. One that didn’t include him.

Each step seemed to get heavier the farther I walked away from Rafe. I was wrapped around a haze of heartbreak that almost made my movements mechanical.

I entered the house, numb to the bone, and gathered all my things. Everything around me was out of focus as I dragged my suitcase towards the front door.

I could see Rose from the corner of my eye, her mouth moving, but the ringing in my ears only seemed to get louder. Pushing past her, I headed straight for the door and forced myself not to look back.

Everything was different now. In a way, so was I.

One foot in front of the other, I walked down the drive way. The ringing in my ears and the adrenaline that pumped through my veins was suddenly dulled at the sound of the door slamming open behind me.

Loud footsteps echoed behind me before my arms are grabbed and I’m forced to turn around.

Rafe’s eyes were wild with panic as he panted in front of me. His entire appearance was disheveled with his hair sticking out in all directions.

“Don’t go.”

I was so close to being out of his grasp and being free of this agony that gripped me so tightly it made it hard to breathe.

“You were never mine. Were you?” The question slipped past my lips before I knew it.

“I love you. I do, please just come back inside and I’ll do what you want. I’ll tell Ward and Rose right now.” His blue eyes held so much hope, but it wasn’t enough. The magic was all gone, replaced with this cruel torment.

“I was yours, in every way possible. But, it didn’t matter what I did. I still wasn’t enough for you. I’m never going to be good enough, am I?” My voice cracked, but the words were out along with the realization of how painfully accurate they were.

Warm hands cradled my face pulling me towards his. Rafe rested his forehead on mine, his eyes boring into mine. I could feel the slight tremble in his hands.

“That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

“How could I possibly know that? You never do anything that says otherwise.”

“I love a man who can’t even hold my hand in public.” He couldn’t hold me gaze, instead he turned it to the floor with his jaw clenched.

“You knew who I was when we started this. You knew what came with being with a Cameron. Our situation is much more complicated than you’re making it fucking seem. So I didn’t hold your hand, now you’re going to leave me?”

His logic was horribly flawed.

“Our situation is not complicated. All you had to do was love me the way I loved you.”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re a fucking maid,” Rafe said through gritted teeth,” The maid to my family, no less, and you expect to be welcomed in with open arms? This isn’t a fairytale, wake up.”

”Then what was the point of all of this? Of me loving you and you loving me, if it was never going to go anywhere.”

“The point was that we were together and we were happy.” Rafe let out a frustrated noise and shook his head. But it was clear, he wasn’t getting it. I knew nothing I’d say would ever get through to him.

“Were we? Together, I mean. Because I was always at your beck and call. Literally and figuratively. Where were you for my college graduation? Where were you when my dad died? I’ll tell you where you were,” I pressed my finger into his chest, “You. Weren’t. There. Instead, you chose to love me from afar because you care more about the opinion of sheep than you do me.”

I couldn’t stop talking. It was as though a wall cracked and suddenly every emotion I held in was flooding through.

“Look at me.” I shouted, grabbing his chin and forcing him to stare. “I want you to look me in the fucking eye. Look at the damage you caused. You did this to us. ”

“Stop being cruel.”

“Cruel? You threw your drink on the floor and made me clean it up. Did seeing me on my knees make you feel big and strong?”

He tilted his head, his expression darkening. “Enough. Come back inside, now.”

“I wanted everything for you.” I laughed at how incredibly stupid and blind I had been. “And you can’t even hold my fucking hand.”

Race’s eyes softened marginally. “Tell me what to do. How can I fix this?”

My stomach tightened. Steeling myself, I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed out the next words. “You can’t.”

“I can, but you’re not give me a fucking chance here.” His words came out as a plea.

“Being with you was a choice I made every day. One that you clearly couldn’t make, so I’m making it for you. We’re done.

His jaw ticked. ”Try and fucking leave me.”

I wanted nothing more than to run back into his arms and comfort him, despite it all. But I knew, if I was going to survive this at all, I couldn’t be with him.

“I’m always running behind you, trying to keep up. Trying to be everything you want and everything you need, but I’m all out of breath. I have nothing left to give you. But it’s still more than you ever gave me.” With those being my parting words, I clutched onto the handle of my suitcase in a death grip and force myself to walk away from him.

My shoulders jump at the sound of something shattering behind me.

“I love you.” Rafe screamed at the top of his lungs from behind me. His voice was brutal and laced with pain.

Not enough.

_________________

Side note: pls let me know what you think! I’ve been gone for several months so I’m a bit rusty:) I am working on the second part of Hate as promised!

[onlymingyus]

Our Dawn is Hotter than Our Day

pairing; kim mingyu x lee jihoon x f!reader

genre; smut (minors dni)

warnings; poly relationship, mlm, unprotected sex, consensual filming of sexual acts, handjob, fingering, oral (m & f receiving/giving) cum play/eating, marking/biting, impact play/spanking, punishment, dom!jihoon, switch!mingyu, sub!reader/brat!reader, brat taming, manhandling (m&f), pet names/degrading names, degrading/praise, aftercare

w/c; 7.3k and some change (1.2k this teaser--i was feeling generous)

a/n; this one is fully self indulgent and my own birthday present to myself. so...happy birthday me! thank you to @wonwussy for proofreading; thank you to @wongyuseokie for beta-ing part of this; thank you to @bitchlessdino, @horanghater, and @wooahaeproductions for helping me brainstorm pet names.

this fic is a Patreon Exclusive subscribe to my Patreon and click here

You could hear their voices before you could see them. Not that you were looking. No, that would mean opening your eyes. You didn’t feel that neither Mingyu nor Jihoon deserved your attention at the moment. Had you spent a little too much time in the sun by the pool today? Probably, but you had been left in bed on your own this morning. 

“The water looks nice.” 

Jihoon just nods as a hum of approval leaves his lips. His eyes moved quickly from the water to where you were resting on a chair. Sunglasses covered your eyes, but he could still tell you were actively avoiding looking at them—ever their brat. 

“Seems like you’d be the first of us to enjoy it, Mingyu. Our little princess isn’t wet at all. Have you been laying in the sun all morning?” 

Huffing out a laugh, Mingyu lifts his brow, giving you a good once over. Jihoon was right. There wasn’t a single sign that you had used the pool without them. Were you that mad? He knew you didn’t like to be left in bed alone, but you also knew they always went to the gym first thing in the morning. 

“Is she not? That’s a shame. Did you at least drink some water, honey?” 

This was supposed to be a vacation for the three of you. It was time to take a break from the mundane schedules, yet they were keeping right up with that schedule. When you don’t answer, Mingyu scoffs, sitting down by the side of the pool. The water is cool against his legs as it moves like tiny waves caused by others playing at the other end, just out of hearing distance. 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. He knew what you were doing, and he knew you were mad. He had known it all day. He had watched Mingyu send you selfies, pictures of him, and even videos while the larger man pouted at his phone, not getting a single response. You were giving them both the cold shoulder, and for what? Leaving you sleeping in a comfy bed on vacation instead of waking you up at the crack of dawn to kiss you goodbye?

Shaking his head at Mingyu, Jihoon presses his tongue against his cheek before pulling his arm over his chest to stretch out the muscle. He was less patient with your bratty side. His hand was already itching, and it was too bad you were all in public. Instead of saying anything, Jihoon sighs loudly, sitting beside you on one of the loungers, to open your water bottle as Mingyu just smirks.  

“Baby…my sweet little marshmallow puff? Are you mad at us?” 

Now, Mingyu was pushing your buttons on purpose. Watching your nose wrinkle at the overly cute pet name, Mingyu grinned and winked at Jihoon before watching the man take a sip from your water bottle. 

“You know she is. She’s got ears. She knows how to listen and how to talk when she wants something. What we should do is just leave her pretty little ass down here and go back up to the room…” 

Jihoon’s threat makes you shoot him a dirty look. They wouldn’t dare go back up without you. The smirk on his lips told you everything. He had gotten what he wanted. Your eyes were open now, and you had acknowledged one of them. Making an "aw..." sound, Jihoon nods at your scowl before he tips your water bottle back once more, taking a sip of it. 

“It’s my water…” 

Your voice is quiet and annoyed, causing Jihoon to smile before licking his lips clean of the water. So you could speak. He had been right. 

“It’s warm water.” 

Shrugging, you start to sit up, trying to take it from Jihoon, when cold water splashes you in the direction of Mingyu. Not a lot of water, but enough that you are startled and yell his name. Mingyu’s laugh is playful, his fingers sliding through the water once more to collect more water as you lift your hand to run it over your hair, checking the damage. 

“He said your water was warm. I wanted to cool you down, princess.”

Pouting, you push your glasses, which were speckled with drips of water, to the top of your head. Swiping your bottle from Jihoon, you put the opening to your lips, drinking some of the warm water with a scowl still on your lips as the two men chuckle. 

“Does he need to splash you again, or can you stop being a brat? Did you even check your phone? Mingyu sent you pictures and videos all morning.” 

Mingyu purses his lips, watching you shake your head. You had heard the notifications going off, but in your pursuit to pay your boyfriends back for their behavior, you had chosen to avoid all contact. 

“That makes me sad, baby. Maybe you’re right, Jihoon. We should go upstairs without her. If she wants to act up.” 

The sound of your water bottle closing and hitting the fabric of the chair under you causes Mingyu to press his lips together in order to keep himself from laughing. You were so cute when you were pouty like this. You were so easy to get riled up, even when you were trying so hard not to be the big, bad brat who could withstand anything either of them said. It was clear that you couldn’t handle the idea of them going to bed without you. 

“That’s what I’m saying. Since Y/N doesn’t care enough to even look at what you’ve sent her, she’s got no idea what she missed already. Stupid, pretty little princess just has her mind on being left in bed alone.” 

Your cheeks were burning with each of Jihoon’s degrading words. You knew he didn’t actually think you were stupid. Not in any real sense of how intelligent you were. This was more about how he could get you to react in the bedroom, yet here you were in public, and he wasn’t being subtle. 

“I don’t like when you do that. It would have taken you like two seconds to wake me up and tell me where you were going.” 

Shaking his head, Jihoon starts to speak when Mingyu leans back on his elbows, doing it first. 

“You knew where we would be. Where do we always go that early in the morning?" 

Scoffing, you go to reach for your phone only to watch Jihoon take it from the table before you get the chance. His lips are pursing in interest as he unlocks it and swipes through the pictures and videos that Mingyu sent you from the gym. 

“Answer his question. You didn’t want this before; why would you want it now?” 

Your eyes move back to Mingyu, who lifts his shoulders, waiting for your answer. In the bedroom and in most aspects of your relationship, Mingyu was the softer of the two. He was your big teddy bear who would look at your pouted lips and fluttering lashes and give in. But there were times, like today, when he was more like Jihoon. 

“We are on vacation, Gyu. You two don’t have to go to the gym every single day we are here. Spend a little time with me.” 

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[ikyoudreamofme]

Accident-MS

summary: You get a call from Matt but it’s not the call you ever expected.

C/W: car accident,mentions of blood and cuts, pre-established relationship, use of y/n.

A/n:Part 2 is out!

——————————————————————

“Hi y/n? This is Dr Sharp at Los Angeles General Hospital calling, you are Matts emergency contact along with two others. He has been involved in a car accident and has serious injuries.”

~☃️~

I’ve been cleaning my house all day as Matt was coming over soon and I want it to look presentable. I just finished putting away the laundry falling down onto the couch with a loud exhale. I got a call from Matt smiling at my phone answer the call. “Hey Matt.” I say my voice going a little higher at my excitement. The voice on the other line wasn’t the usual voice I’d hear. I freeze staring blankly at the table, listening to the man, my smile of joy falls into a face of worry. The call goes silent for a few seconds before I’m able to speak. “uh..have you called his brothers?” I say my voice shaky holding back sobs. the voice on the other end of the phone says no. I hang up looking for Nick’s contact through blurred vision I press ‘call’.

After the second ring he picks up “y/n? Matts not here,you okay?” He enquires. I take a deep breath in. “Nick it’s Matt. The hospital called me he got in an accident. They said it’s bad.” I blurt out, voice cracking. I hear Nick get up shouting to Chris for him to get out of his room. “I’m going to the hospital now I’m gonna pick you up.” I say before hanging up and letting Nick tell Chris.

We get to the hospital and the doctor’s words, ‘serious injuries’, replay in my head. “we’re looking for Matt Sturniolo” Chris asks the lady behind the counter. She’s asks us who we are to the patient. “I’ll get you his doctor for now you can wait here.” She points to rows of chairs behind us. As we wait I play with my fingers, my leg bouncing up and down as all the worst things that could happen run through my head. A doctor walks over to us his badge saying the same name as the doctor who called me. He warns us that Matt is out of surgery but still sedated to manage his pain, he may be asleep for a few more hours but when he wakes up he will still be groggy. The doctor told us Matt had sustained internal bleeding cause blood to enter his lungs and a broken arm that they had to move back to place. The worst part is Matt might not ever wake up again.

Every step closer to his room my heart sped up thumps getting louder and louder. My stomach felt empty when I opened the door seeing the bruises that scatter his face and collarbone and a cast on his right arm that lays beside him. Machines beep around his bed, I turn around looking at Chris and Nick their eyes, fixated on their brother, filling up with tears threatening to spill down their cheeks. I pulled a chair closer to the bed grabbing his hand resting my head next to it. “please wake up..” I whisper repeatedly to Matt.

~☃️~

After an hour or two sitting in Matt’s hospital room doctors coming in every 20 minutes for check ups I fall into a light sleep my head resting on the edge of the bed. “y/n?” A hoarse voice talks. I look up seeing Matts eyes just barely open. My mouth drops letting out a sigh of relief, as I sit up hugging him carefully, kissing the top of his head. “Oh My God Matt you’re okay.” I say telling myself more than him. He hums in response. His brothers get up repeating a similar hug to mine.

The doctor checks his injuries giving him morphine to manage his pain. “He has to stay for the night so we can monitor him closely” The doctor tells us. I look down at Matt rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand reaussuringly. Chris and Nick go back to theirs grabbing some things for Matt.

“what happened Matt?” You ask him looking up at his wounded face. “I don’t know I was just on my way to yours…some uncontrolled driver crashed into the side of me” He winces taking a deep breath. I frown and kiss him softly “I’m so happy you’re okay” he hums in response.

[munsonslove]

Five Times (part one: 1-3)

(18+ only)

summary: A stressful day at work leads to Eddie promising to make you cum over and over until your head is empty.

wordcount: 4.7k

tags/warnings: fem!sub!reader, dom!Eddie, established relationship, smut, dumbification, degradation, praise kink, choking, spitting in mouth, hair pulling, biting, squirting, overstim, dacryphilia, fingering (fem receiving), oral (fem receiving), he’s kinda mean in this but like in a you want him to be a lil mean to you way not like he’s an actual asshole way

a/n: listen. i’ve had a very stressful year and the idea of just being allowed to be dumb and not have to worry about anything is very appealing. part 2 with more smut to come...

Today marked the one month anniversary since your (well deserved) promotion. You could finally say with confidence that your career was more than just taking notes and getting coffee for those in higher up positions. Still, this growth came with hard work, late nights, stress, and snide remarks from the men at the office who chalked your success up to low cut shirts worn around the boss. Which is ridiculous cause you’re not even sure that man had ever seen your clavicle, much less any cleavage.

Thankfully, this stress subsided by your wonderful relationship. Although Eddie loved and respected you, he knew that sometimes the responsibilities of adult life weighed on you like a million tons. He genuinely thought you were one of the smartest and most impressive people he’s ever met, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give you what you needed. And what you needed was an escape from the overthinking and worrying- permission to turn your brain off and give yourself over to pleasure. 

There was a tell you subconsciously gave when your psyche craved that escape: when you pass through the entranceway of your shared home and Eddie comes to welcome you at the door, instead of greeting him with a smile and hug, you simply keep your arms limp at your sides as you collapse into him and bury your face in his neck.

That’s precisely how your arrival happened this evening, and Eddie wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you as he tenderly kissed your temple and led you to the bedroom. Along the way, he spoke no words as he helped you strip yourself of the restricting uniform of your day to day life. Heels are abandoned at the front door, a few feet from them a discarded blazer, then a little farther down the hallway was a crumpled pile of nylon that was once stockings. 

Now inside the room, Eddie sat you down on the edge of the mattress as his nimble fingers undid the buttons of your blouse and unhooked your slightly-too-tight underwire bra. Once your top half was completely bare, you laid back and lifted your hips up so that he could slide your skirt and panties down your legs in one quick motion.

As you settled into bed and got comfortable, Eddie tossed the worn clothes to the side and looked down at you with dark eyes. After flashing a crooked grin, he climbed onto the bed and rested on his knees. Kneeling before you, he starts laughing quietly.

“Well, well, well,” he whispered, mostly to himself. “Look at this pretty little prize I have all to myself.”

He didn’t permit any talking yet, so you remain silent. Instead, you laid there in anticipation while waiting impatiently for his next move. His calloused fingers leave goosebumps in their wake as he trails them from your belly button to your waist. When they reach the end of their journey, his hands suddenly grip with determination as he moves you how he pleases. Your body is pliant and powerless while he arranges you the way he needs you to be, something that he is glaringly proud about.

“You’re tired of pretending, aren’t you? Pretending you’re not my mindless little doll?” he murmurs with a smirk, and your thighs instinctively twitch to shut from the wave of arousal his tone sends through you. “Well, I doubt I could fuck the stupid out of you, but I can try.”

His assured, unwavering certainty was soul shattering. What once was hesitant enthusiasm is now teetering on full blown alarm when memories flood your brain of your doting boyfriend nearly bruising your pelvis from the valor he exhibited in washing away your bad days with orgasms. That turning in your stomach only heightened your senses, pulling feeble whimpers out of you with embarrassingly minimal contact. 

“My pretty girl,” he tutted with a mischievous lilt. “Need me to turn that brain off, huh? How about you let me play with you?”

You nod in response as the butterflies in your stomach turn violent and almost make you feel sick. Finally, all thoughts of whether or not paperwork was filled out correctly and filed in the right places are gone, and the only thing you can think of is Eddie’s burning hot touch on your skin.

“Wha’sa matter? Can’t use your big girl words?” he asks, slurring a bit as the lust clouds his senses. “That’s alright, I’ll do all the talking. Just focus on turning off that brain,” his voice is now growing low and raspy, and you feel his fingers twitching on your waist as he resists the itch to touch you. “That’s what you’re best at, isn’t it? Being my sweet, dumb girl. The only thing you’re good at is being a drooly little mess for me.”

What he’s saying should be demeaning, but it only makes you more turned on. His grip loosens as his fingernails scratch their way down toward your center. When he reaches your mound, just above your slickened lips, he slows down. Obviously, he wants to make you desperate enough that he can watch you squirm.

“Nnngh,” you whine, exasperated. “Eddie, please…”

“Needy fucking slut,” he chastises, but his eyes reveal more amusement than authority. He has to hold back the huff of laughter that threatens its way up his throat as he continues. “You’re gonna wait like the good girl I know you are. You wanna know how I know?”

Your eyebrows pinch together as you try to not cry from the frustration, and you make a small humming noise while shrugging your shoulders.

“Because,” he starts as his fingers finally make contact with your aching cunt. They slide easily along your folds, causing a choked gasp in reaction from you. “Only good girls have wet pussies like this. That’s my proof- good girls have wet, dripping pussies. And you’re always dripping for me, aren’t you, princess?”

“Mhm,” you agree as your legs open wider. The amount of concentration it takes to not buck your hips into his touch is overwhelming, but you manage to bear it. “Oh, please Eds. Need it so bad.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he cooed patronizingly, leaving one short peck between your furrowed brows. “But do you deserve it?”

Your toes are starting to cramp by the force they’re curling in with. “I- I think I-“

“You don’t think, you obey,” he corrects sternly, cutting off your stuttering. “You’re a brainless toy for me to use, don’t you know that?”

“Yes, yes I know,” you moan while nodding your head harder, hoping that your compliance will make him want to speed up his process.

Your plan succeeds, but not as much as you’d ideally hope. Eddie’s curious touches migrate from skimming up and down your slit to rubbing at the very top, effectively granting your clit just enough pressure to have you wanting more. A few stray tears fall from their ducts out of relief, and velvet soft lips wipe the moisture away before you even detected it. The rough pad of his middle finger glides smoothly around the bud thanks to your wetness- pushing it up, down, and side to side with ease. His other hand is pressed flat against the inside of your thigh, both holding your legs open and occasionally caressing comfortingly.

“This cute little button needed some attention, did it? Are you happy now? Done being a whiny fucking brat?” he asks, chuckling mockingly. You’re writhing and sighing, almost too distracted to respond, but you do manage to nod your head. Eddie’s not satisfied with your wordless answer.

“Getting dumber already?” he goes on to add, and his hand freezes between your legs. “I asked you a question, silly girl.” Though trying to portray total control, you can tell he’s suppressing a smile.

“Y- yes!” you supply shakily, your stutter making your panic apparent. “I’m s- sorry. I’m done being a br- brat.”

Eddie tsks three times, as if scolding a pet. The implication of that has you shuddering once again. His hand continues its ministrations. “And what do we say, hmm?”

“Thank you!” you gasp out as his pressure and speed both increase. “Oh, thank you.” Your calves tremble, despite how still you’re trying to keep them. 

“God, look how messy this little hole is for me. She’s fucking begging for my fingers. I think she’s gonna cum real fast, how ‘bout you?” he asks, his eyes glazing over as he languidly strokes your sensitive clit. “Stay still now, baby.”

But it’s impossible to not squirm as Eddie pinches and rolls the nub between his fingers. He’s ruthless and tooth-rottingly sweet all at once. You wriggle in his hold, your muscles jerking of their own accord, rutting your hips into his expert touch. Weight pushes you deeper into the mattress, forcing you to still- per his previous instructions.

“I know, princess, I know,” he comforts. “It’s hard to follow orders when your brain is so empty. Just keep those pretty eyes on me. You can at least do that, can’t you?”

You fight to not let your heavy eyelids flutter shut. It’s a struggle, but Eddie’s eyes being laser focused on yours makes it slightly easier. As he continues rubbing your clit so perfectly, his other hand moves to cradle your jaw. His thick thumb frees your bottom lip from where it was trapped between your teeth, and breaks the barrier into your more than willing mouth. He presses down on your tongue, just far back enough to slightly trigger your gag reflex but careful to not cause too much discomfort. Then his hand retreats, breaking the trance that had you fixated on his hypnotic gaze. 

You whimper a weak protest as your tongue extends over your chin and attempts to follow his fingers. This effort brings your head a couple inches off the pillow, only to have it slammed back down when he unexpectedly grabs your throat. The cool metal of his rings are a stark contrast to your heated skin. With his palm now pushing into your windpipe, you let out a puff of air in shock and wrap your hands around his wrists. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Can’t breathe?” he asks, but the way he says it suggests that he doesn’t actually care. He’s clearly enjoying the way you’re currently clawing at his forearm.

You try to plead for mercy, but can’t find the power to form a sentence beyond weak gasps for air. All you can do is try to blink away the blur in your vision as your head gets hazier and hazier.

He responds with a merciless laugh, then loosens his grip just enough to allow oxygen to enter your lungs once more before leaning forward and spitting into your still open mouth without warning. The force of it hits your tongue and causes his spit to splatter onto the roof of your mouth. You can’t help the volume of the broken moan that involuntarily leaves you. You also can’t help the way your hips buck up- making his fingers slip from your clit, which only turns your satisfied groan into a distressed whine.

“Poor thing,” he hums while putting on a faux-sympathetic pout, his lower lip jutting out sarcastically and his eyebrows upturning. 

He leans down to gently kiss your cheek, so light and quick that you barely even feel it. All you can focus on is his weight on top of you, chest pressed to yours with his arm wedged in between so that he can continue lazily toying with your clit, much to your relief. Eddie’s nose trails along your cheekbone until his hot, humid breath is tickling your ear. Lips move against your earlobe as he whispers his next words.

“Do you even realize how fucking pathetic you look right now?” he asks. “You probably don’t care though. Too much of a desperate fucking slut. Say it.”

“I’m a desperate slut,” you immediately comply.

The hand being used to lightly choke you breaks contact for a moment, only long enough for Eddie to push himself up onto his knees, before returning to its place on your neck. From there, he can comfortably look down at you while he continues to squeeze your neck and bring you closer to orgasm.

He grins at you like he’s proud, eyes wet and sentimental. It almost sounds loving the way he says, “That’s right. My desperate slut.”

Everything’s gone fuzzy. Any outside stimulant other than the man on top of you can’t reach your senses. It was like the two of you were covered in a heavy blanket, instead of being in the cool open air of your shared bedroom. The rest of the world felt so distant- a million miles away- that you couldn’t even remember any of the stresses that were previously bothering you. The pressure Eddie is applying to your throat isn’t tight enough to drastically affect your airflow anymore, so he and you both know that this is just the natural effect he has on you.

“Are you there so soon? I’ve already rubbed your mind away?” He sounds almost disappointed as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “We just started. Why do you have to be such a greedy whore?”

You know he’s just playing into his role. You know he doesn’t really mean it, and that he’s only trying to help ease you more into the headspace you crave so badly. But still, you feel the overwhelming urge to do whatever it takes for him to call you a good girl.

“I’m sorry. I can hold it,” you try to assure, without being entirely sure that it’s the truth. The tightness in your stomach is growing at an alarming rate.

“Don’t bother,” he tells you, sarcastically exaggerating a bored sigh. “What, you didn’t think I was gonna let you off that easy, did you? Surely even you aren’t that dumb.” His face leans dangerously close to yours as he emphasizes that last ‘you’, and his voice turns low and threatening. “I’m gonna make you cum a minimum of five times tonight, might as well get one over with now.”

And with that guarantee, you feel the dam break. He never even got around to fingering you, but you had a suspicion that that was next on the list. Rough kneading at your breast and lips once again attaching themself to your pulse point is what tipped you off that he had finally released your throat. Your head was thrown back- giving his mouth easy access- and your knees bent as your thighs squeezed together tight, trapping him there. Though, the quiet sound of your breathy moans and beauty of your scrunched up face made him want to stay there forever, so he personally wouldn’t describe it as ‘trapped’. 

“Good girl,” he growls, sounding crazed and cruel. “Look so cute like this. Sound so cute too. Like a fucking pathetic slut.”

His left hand began pinching at your nipples while the right’s movement on your clit remained throughout the duration of your climax, not ending until teary begging for him to stop alerted him to your overstimulation. He decided to allow you a moment to breathe, but only briefly. As your chest rises and deflates rapidly, your earlier suspicion proved true. Eddie’s vow of at least five orgasms was no empty promise, it was an oath. His middle finger slid eagerly down your puffy lips until reaching your entrance, where you promptly stopped him.

“Eddie, wait!” you exclaim, pushing his still determined hands away and attempting to cover your mound with your own. “I can’t cum again so soon!”

He outright scoffs at that, finally tearing his attention away from the area you’re pointlessly failing to defend to stare at you incredulously. “Now princess, we both know that’s not true. Who are you trying to fool?”

To an outsider this might seem mean, but you know that one utterance of your safeword would have Eddie’s dominance melting away in an instant. Truthfully, his dedication to ruin you with a second orgasm so closely followed by the first only excited you more- something that is no secret to him. You were still nervous about what he was going to do to you though, and this was made apparent from the way you crossed one ankle over the other- effectively shielding yourself from his touch.

“Aw, is someone shy?” he asked, feigning sympathy. You nod, but it’s ineffective at changing his mind. “I don’t care. Spread your legs.”

You didn’t set out to follow his order so willingly. His brash way of speaking had your body moving without any input from your brain, shifting each ankle to opposite sides of the mattress and baring yourself to him unabashedly despite your inner modesty.

“You’re mean,” you complained with an exaggerated frown, downplaying the rush of wanting that soared through you.

“Yeah?” he snickered as his hand returned to its spot between your legs, coating the slick from your previous orgasm on his fingers before forcing them deep inside you all at once. “Well you’re wet.”

Without warning, the two middle fingers of his right hand bury themselves to the hilt before curling upward, expertly finding their favorite spot inside you within seconds. The small band on his ring finger pushed past the threshold of your opening, entering into you. It was insultingly obvious the way you could differentiate the cool, smooth metal from his warm, rough skin. You could even feel the ridge where bare skin now became shielded by silver jewelry. That bump and the sensations it caused on your sensitive inner walls were so addicting. The intensity was almost too much to brave, but after all this time you trusted Eddie to know your limits even better than you did. 

His free hand finds purchase on your waist, holding firmly as if to silently instruct you to stay still. Whispered curses slip through your gritted teeth, and they only slightly assist you in enduring the direct targeting of your g-spot. While you couldn’t see his expression, you had a feeling the sight of you wiping away the water pooling at your eyes was only stirring Eddie more.

“Keep crying,” he says, trying to sound intimidating but unable to keep the fondness out of his voice. “Not that it’ll get you anywhere, but you look real pretty crying under me.”

“Please, please I wanna-“ you start, only to be interrupted by your own abrupt gasp when he begins moving. He’s pumping in and out of you at a pace that- while not slow- he’s well aware won’t be enough.

“Christ, do you hear yourself? ‘P-p-p-please,” he mocks, mimicking your expression. His condescending tone lacked any compassion, despite the grin that betrayed his features afterwards.

“Please, Eddie,” you try again, hoping that he’ll hear your overwhelming lust and take pity. “I wanna cum on your cock.”

“Oh? What happened to ‘I can’t cum again’, hm?” he asks. He does seem to feel a little sorry for his teasing, however, seeing as he hastens to what he’s discovered in the past to be the perfect tempo for you. “You’ll get my cock when I say you can have my cock and you’ll be grateful.”

All you’re able to do is nod in agreement, being far too weakened to fight back anymore. Eddie’s perfect aim has his fingers finding your g-spot with each forward lunge of his arm, and it’s barreling you toward another orgasm far too quickly. The muscles in your neck move involuntarily, and you steal one last glance at your lover before your head is thrown back completely. He’s watching you, eyes wide with adoration- which would fill your heart if past experiences didn’t tell you that meant for a very long night (and a very sore morning). 

The crown of your skull is flat on the pillow beneath your head as a long guttural groan escapes from somewhere deep within. Your fated second climax of the night shows no remorse, stealing all the breath from your lungs and leaving your legs shaking. Eddie also lacks remorse, his fingers never losing speed as your walls clench around them. Arousal gushed over his hand and onto the sheets, leaving a sticky mess that you were too gone to care about. His comforting touch settles over your spasming diaphragm in an halfhearted attempt to help calm you after you start to thrash, but the way he drags your orgasm out with quite a few more thrusts than necessary proves how much he is enjoying this.

“There you go, princess,” he purrs. “Feel all of it, you deserve it.”

It was like your body had become too tight, cramping your stomach from the strong contractions. Simultaneously, it was also as if you were exploding out of your goosebump-littered skin. While somewhat sensing the strain of your vocal chords, you couldn't recognize the voice echoing profanity throughout the room. All you could manage to focus on was the sound of Eddie coaxing you through your comedown, his usual baritone barely audible as he shushed you and stroked your hair.

“Catch your breath baby, nice and slow. We’re not done yet,” he murmured softly, the devious glint in his eyes returning when his promise sent an obvious shiver down your spine.

“Such a good little slut,” he praised, “Probably have no idea how fucking hard you’re making me right now. Don’t have much ideas about anything, really, other than how bad you wanna be fucked stupid.”

“So bad,” you agreed, barely able to comprehend what was being said to you. “So, so bad.”

Confusion floods you when he rolls his eyes at your response. There’s a quiet muttering coming from his moving lips, something sounding like ‘... -proving my point,’ but you’re too caught up in the way he closes the distance between his and your mouths.

Time stills as you allow his kiss to absorb you and melt your mind. You’re not sure exactly how long it took until he determined that you were ready for more, but you suspected that he was purposely granting you time to recover before enacting his next course of action (ever the gentleman no matter how inexplicably turned on him disrespecting you made you feel). He kissed you breathless until that ache in your bones returned, the need for him coming back in full force. After what could have been minutes or hours, Eddie parted from your still desperate body.

He pushed himself off of you leisurely before positioning you horizontally across the bed. Hands sank into the dip of your waist, seizing both sides of your torso and dragging your pelvis to the very edge of the mattress. Then, he fell to his knees on the carpet and hooked your legs over his shoulders. His arms wrap around from the underside of your thighs, holding them in place and leaving no room for resistance. Now that he had you exactly how he wanted you, he mouthed at the delicate skin of your inner thighs- gentle nips and kisses to the left before switching and unexpectedly biting down on the flesh of the right. You yelp at the unexpected sting, and though he was careful not to draw blood, there will surely be a darkened mark replicating the shape of his canines there the next day.

“Is my girl ready for number three?” he asks, smiling up at you looking entirely too sure of himself, yet somehow remaining endearing. “Gonna drain what little is left inside that pretty head. Gonna make you lose some IQ points.”

You’re now completely engulfed in euphoria, the natural high from an overproduction of hormones in your brain is incomparable to any substance you’ve sampled before. While still distracted trying to control your smiling in this loopy state, Eddie takes the opportunity to catch you by surprise. He licks a long stripe up your glistening sex, spanning from your leaking hole to your swollen clit.

Ditzy giggles are interrupted by a choked gasp, and the bed sheets loosen from the corners when your hands grasp at them and pull. This reaction produces a smirk from the man between your legs. You feel his lips stretch wide, the movement slightly lifting your clitoral hood and allowing access for his teeth to scrape against the sensitive bundle of nerves underneath. It’s too much, and you instinctively try to scoot backwards, only to be reminded that he’s holding you in place. Though obviously aware of your attempts to escape his busy mouth, he shows no signal that he plans to ease up. 

His technique shifts from long flat licks into stiffening the very tip of his tongue and flicking it back and forth over your clit. He keeps this up until you’re squirming under him, only to relax his tongue once more and allow the muscle to melt against your center. It’s messy and uncalculated, and you can feel his drool dripping down over your ass and wetting the sheets even more. You’re not surprised the simple act of eating you out has Eddie salivating, he’s been obsessed with getting his mouth on you whenever possible since the beginning of your relationship. In fact, for those first few months, it was pretty much a guarantee that he would cum in his pants like a teenager anytime he gave you head.

Like a psychic, Eddie moves away from your clit right as the build up begins. But before you can whine any complaints, he starts fucking his tongue in and out of your hole. When you look down at him through hooded eyes you’re almost shocked at the sight of him completely engrossed in your pussy, his cheeks covered in your wetness with eyes screwed shut. The underside of his nose and his chin press harshly against you as he tries to push his tongue out as far as it’ll go.

He’s moaning into you, clearly enjoying the taste. For a brief moment you feel slightly jealous, wishing to have him in your mouth as well. You forget all envy, however, when he pushes further into you and shakes his head left to right, the vibrations from his moans present as ever.

The force with which his fingers dig into your flesh is sure to bruise the fat of your thighs, but you don’t notice the burn it’s causing until after being released. He looks up at you through his lashes and you watch as his tongue leaves your hole. With a devilish glare, he spits harshly directly on your clit before returning to licking and sucking it, the entire time his eyes never moving from your face. One arm unwraps itself from around your thigh so that he can extend out his pointer and middle fingers before plunging them into you. The other hand disappears to where your eyes can’t follow- but given how his moans picked up in ferocity, you were certain about what he was doing. Not only did his palming of himself make him louder, but it had his tongue pulsating against you and shoving you further over the edge to your orgasm. 

All hope of lasting longer was lost when he curled his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, forgoing fucking them in and out to instead massage the spongy spot inside you. This, coupled with the way his lips were now focused on suckling your clit, had you tugging at his curls while you yelled out in pleasure.

This many orgasms so quickly after one another was slightly painful, but in a confusing way that only made you crave him inside you even more. Using your grip on his hair to yank him off of you, you sit up to see him on his knees with a crazed look in his eyes. His entire lower face from his nose down was glistening with the combination of your cum and his drool, and the sheets beneath where you sat didn’t feel any dryer.

“God, baby,” he groans, his voice completely wrecked with lust, “please tell me you don’t need a minute, cause I’m about to bust right now.”

Now that you’re not laying down, you’re able to peer over the edge of the mattress and see his hand at work, rubbing harshly over the zipper of his jeans to try and offer any sense of relief.

“I’m ready, Eds,” you pant out while nodding, still needing to catch your breath.

[buckyshoneybunny]

The White Wolf (Part 3)

Wolf/Alpha!Bucky + Wildlifephotographer!curvy!reader   

W.C- 1082 

Warnings- Almost smut, cursing.  18+!!

A/N- Thank you for all the love!! I made an AO3 account, the link is on my pinned post, still working on making a masterlist. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this series, I promise the next part will be the long-awaited smut lol.  Sorry it took so long. Anyway, hope you enjoy! P.S.- I have some juicy ideas for other stories I'm going to start outlining, I really hope you guys like them.

Taglist-   @blackbirdwitch22 @lesleurs @nelachu2423 @shadowzena43 @calwitch @laughterafter

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 4, Part 5 Masterlist Series Masterlist

Bucky couldn’t believe he found his mate. He’d been drinking the fresh lake water when he’d smelled the most delicious scent he’d ever smelled, granted he couldn’t smell much, only what helped him survive. Werewolf senses were weird. He’d heard the sound of a twig snapping, that’s when he saw you, he felt a rush of desire and heat go through him, causing him to growl and scare you.  

His response to that? Chase you, which ended with him getting a nasty cut on his leg. When you tripped and hit your head, he had dragged you to his cabin, thrown a blanket over you and went to his bedroom, laying on the big dog bed in the corner. 

He’d been so wrapped up in trying to get the stinging pain to go away he didn’t notice you’d woken up, and when you took care of his wound? He was done for. He snuggled close to you the whole time Steve was there, he could see the knowing look in Steve’s eyes. 

When you agreed to stay, to say he was over the moon was an understatement. He laid down close to the edge of the woods and had fallen asleep while he waited for you to get back.  

(Present) 

Bucky wakes up with a pounding head, his white fur coated with dirt. When he looks around, he sees he’s in a cage. He growls. Another wolf growls, Bucky turns his head to see a wild haired wolf, chipped teeth, and crazy eyes. Walker. 

The fuck is this? He growls. 

This is me claiming the forest for my pack, I see you have a beauty now, might have to check her out in person myself. Bucky could hear the smugness in Walker’s voice. 

You lay a hand on her and I’ll rip your fucking head off. He was seething. 

No need to be rude, James.  

Don’t start that shit with me, Walker, let me go. 

Hmm, no.  

You’ll regret this. 

I don’t think I will. With that Walker walks off, to where, Bucky doesn’t know or care. Walker must’ve forgotten what a feral alpha in rut is capable of, especially one trying to get back to his mate.  

With his head pounding he decides to take a nap, Walker must’ve hit him harder than he thought. A couple of hours later he’s roused from his nap by the sound of someone calling his name.  

“Bucky!” Steve whisper-yells for the hundredth time. Buck lifts his head and blinks.  

Steve? What are you doing here?  

“We’ve come to get you out,” Clint says. Bucky shakes his head.  

I may be an alpha, and all of us together may cause hell but there’s no way we’d get past them. I have a plan. The first day of my rut and last day in my wolf form is when I’ll be unstoppable and I’ll break out. No one would dare mess with me.  

Steve nods. “We’ll work on a plan to get a key, you sure this will work?” 

It'll work, I’m sure. How’s Y/N? Is she okay? 

“She’s fine, she’s with the girls.” Sam speaks up.  

Tell her to go to my cabin and wait for me, I want the whole place to smell like her. 

Steve nods and the boy's leave. The next time he sees Walker, he has a sparkle in his eye, he just hopes Walker doesn’t try anything on his babydoll, he’d kill him.  

The next couple of days are pure torture for Bucky, the memory of your scent and the early signs that his rut is starting soon drove him crazy. He couldn't wait until he could shift back and bury himself balls deep inside you, yes you may be a complete stranger, but you were his mate and he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you. 

Once he’d fucked you, the wolf part of his brain calming down, he’d be able to properly talk about the future with you. But until then he needed to fuck you.  

Time seemed to go on forever, minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days, days-you get the point-until the moment finally arrived, turns out Steve didn’t need to get the key, Walker's dumbass was moving Bucky to a different spot at the perfect time. 

Bucky let his muscles relax, his pupils dilated, he let out the most bone chilling growl Walker had ever heard.  

Walker's eyes widen.  You little- 

See, any alpha is strong and powerful, but a feral alpha in rut? Wanting his mate? Is nearly unstoppable, the only person capable of controlling the feral alpha is their mate. Bucky pounced and his men followed. They effectively took down the wolves, establishing Bucky’s dominance, that he is not to be fucked with like this ever again.  

He ran as fast as he could all the way back to his cabin, he could smell Walker had been there, his blood boiled. When he entered the cabin, he was punched in the face with your scent. A shudder went through him. He followed the scent to where it was strongest and found you, in his bed, wearing his shirt.  

He growled. When he saw you wake up and see him, he shifted. Once the big, fluffy white wolf, now stood a 6’5, muscular man, nice golden tan, brown locks that framed his face perfectly, the same piercing blue eyes, and a shiny silver metal arm.  

You could see the scares that littered his left shoulder where metal met flesh, but it only served to make him even more beautiful. Last, but not least in the bit, standing proudly, at least nine inches, girth making him wider than what you could wrap your hand around, his cock red and throbbing.  

Bucky inhales deeply when he sees your pupils dilate, smelling your arousal. 

“God damn babydoll,” he mutters in a husky, lust filled voice. “You’re in my bed, wearing my shirt, smelling like a fucking dream?” He groans, cock twitching.  

He slowly crawls up your body, taking the shirt with him, leaving you in nothing but a flimsy pair of black panties that are thoroughly soaked through with your arousal.  

He brushes his lips against yours, but doesn’t kiss you yet. He drags his nose down the collum of your neck, through the valley of your breasts, pausing to nuzzle your, soft, pudgy stomach, He continues till he reaches your pussy, he takes a deep breath and moans. 

“You ready, babydoll?” 

[fanfics4all]

Safe Haven

Request: Yes / No

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1291

Warnings: Being shot, I believe that’s it.

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Spencer’s POV*

The call came in the middle of a briefing. My phone buzzed on the table, vibrating loud enough to make everyone glance in my direction. I frowned, unsure whether to answer, but something in my gut told me to look. I excused myself and stepped out of the room, answering as soon as I saw the caller ID. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid.” I answered, my voice professional. The words that were said on the other end hit me like a freight train. 

“Sir, this is St. Agnes Hospital. We have your girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, here. She’s been shot.” The rest of the conversation was a blur… a mass shooting, a mall, and she was caught in the crossfire. My heart raced as panic bubbled to the surface. I barely registered Rossi stepping out to ask what was wrong before the words spilled out. 

“Y/N’s been shot.” I managed to get out, my voice barely steady. 

The team sprang into action, offering to accompany me. Within minutes, we were speeding toward the hospital, my hands gripping the seatbelt so tightly my knuckles turned white. My mind raced with possibilities, statistics about gunshot wounds and survival rates, each scenario worse than the last. When we arrived, I practically ran to the front desk. 

“Y/N Y/L/N…” I said breathlessly. 

“She was brought in, shot, at the mall.” The nurse looked up with sympathy. 

“She’s stable, Dr. Reid, but in surgery. The bullet didn’t hit any major organs, but she lost a lot of blood. You can wait upstairs in the ICU waiting area.” I exhaled shakily, nodding, my legs feeling like jelly as I moved toward the elevator. 

The waiting was unbearable. The team sat with me, offering quiet comfort, but I barely noticed. My mind replayed every moment of this morning… the way she smiled before heading out to the mall, how she kissed my cheek and told me not to work too hard. I should’ve gone with her…. Hours later, a surgeon finally appeared. 

“Dr. Reid?” I stood up so quickly my chair scraped against the floor. 

“Yes?” 

“Y/N is out of surgery and stable. The bullet went through her shoulder, which caused some damage, but she’s incredibly lucky. She’ll recover fully with time and physical therapy.” Relief washed over me like a wave, leaving me weak in its wake. 

“Can I see her?” The surgeon nodded. 

“She’s still sedated, but you can sit with her.” 

“We’ll wait here.” JJ said and I simply nodded. 

When I entered the hospital room, my heart clenched. Y/N lay pale and still against the sterile sheets, an oxygen tube under her nose, and an IV in her arm. The sight of the bandage on her shoulder made me feel both gratitude and anger. I was grateful that she was still alive, but angry at whoever had done this. I sank into the chair beside her bed, my hand trembling as I reached out to hold her. 

“Hey…” I whispered, even though she was still asleep. 

“I’m here.” 

The team stopped by briefly to check on us, but I hardly noticed when they left, giving me space. Hours passed and I stayed by her side, refusing to leave. 

When her eyes finally fluttered open, I sat up straight, my heart pounding. 

“Y/N.” I said softly, my voice thick with emotion. 

“Spencer?” She mumbled, her voice hoarse. Tears welled in my eyes as I leaned closer. 

“You scared me…” I admitted, my voice trembling. 

“When I got the call…I thought I lost you.” Her lips curved into a faint smile despite her obvious discomfort. 

“Take more than that to get rid of me.” I laughed weakly, pressing a kiss to her hand. 

“You’re not allowed to joke about this. I’ve already been through every worst-case scenario in my head.” 

“I know.” She whispered, her fingers brushing against mine. 

“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. 

“Don’t be. Just… promise me you’ll rest and let me take care of you for a while.” She smiled again, her eyes closing briefly as exhaustion overtook her. 

“As long as you don’t start quoting medical journals at me.” I chuckled, my grip on her hand tightening slightly. 

“Deal.” She drifted back to sleep and I stayed by her side. She was safe. 

The next few days were a blur of hospital visits, whispered reassurances, and my constant presence at Y/N’s bedside. I memorized every machine in the room, every beep of the monitors, and every flicker of her expression as she fought through the pain and exhaustion. When she was awake, we talked about everything and nothing. Books we’d been meaning to read together, obscure facts I shared to distract her, even lighthearted jokes to make her smile. But under the surface, I couldn’t shake the guilt. I wasn’t there to protect her… 

It wasn’t until her third day in recovery that Y/N noticed the strain in my expression. 

“Spence…” She said softly, her voice still rasping slightly. I glanced up from the book I was pretending to read, my brow furrowed. 

“What is it? Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse-” 

“Stop.” She interrupted, her hand reaching for mine. 

“I’m fine, but you’re not.” My shoulders tensed and I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. 

“I should’ve been there…” I admitted after a moment. 

“If I went with you, maybe I could’ve stopped it.” She sighed, squeezing my hand gently despite my weakness. 

“Spencer, you can’t blame yourself for this. You didn’t know, and even if you were there, you’re not a superhero.” I flinched, my lips pressing into a thin line. 

“I’m supposed to protect you. You’re the most important person in my life, and I couldn’t do anything to stop this.” Tears stung her eyes as she heard the raw pain in my voice. 

“You protect me every day.” She said firmly. 

“You make me feel safe, loved, and cared for in ways no one else ever has. This wasn’t your fault, and I’m okay because of you. You’ve been here every second since it happened. That’s all I need.” I finally met her gaze, my own eyes glassy with unshead tears. 

“But it’s not enough…” I whispered. 

“It is. Spence, you’re enough. You’ve always been enough.” She insisted. Her words broke something in me and I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to her uninjured shoulder, my breath shuddering against her. She lifted her hand to run her fingers through my hair, comforting me as best she could. 

“You’re my anchor, my steady place. I don’t need you to be a hero. I just need you to be here.” She muttered. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I said fiercely, lifting my head to look at her again. She smiled through the tears in her eyes. 

“Good because you’re stuck with me.” 

By the time Y/N was cleared to leave the hospital, I had transformed into the ultimate caregiver. I had her recovery schedule planned to the minute, every detail accounted for, from her physical therapy appointments to her favorite snacks. The team teased me about my over-preparedness, but Y/N found it endearing. 

When we got home, I helped her settle on the couch, fussing over pillows and blankets until she laughed softly. 

“Spence, I’m not made of glass.” She said, reaching for my hand to stop me. 

“I know.” I replied, sitting beisde her. 

“But you’re still healing. Humor me?” 

“Always.” She said with a smile, resting her head on my shoulder.

We sat there, wrapped in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. Seeing her smile again, knowing she was here, alive, and healing… that was all I needed.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @pettyjayy @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101 @reidssmile @currentfangirl-futuremedexaminer @mggstyles @satans-0-spawn @emofairygay @thesoftestwarlock @liz-owl 

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter One

Masterlist

AO3 link

Lydia Vector is a trauma surgeon trying to find herself again after a traumatic incident--on top of surviving the zombie apocalypse. Along the way, she finds community, friendship, and maybe something more.

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted SA, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--blood, violence, amputation, swearing

“Lydia Rae Vector, Board-Certified in Trauma Surgery!”

The grin that spread across my face caused my cheeks to ache. I looked out and saw my parents and brothers, who fought like hell for their front-row seats to witness their only daughter and sister receive her certification. This was the moment I had worked my entire life for.

My residency was complete. And my boards had been passed. I was officially a surgeon.

The “waterproof” mascara I had spent my last $20 on ran and flaked into my eye, causing it to water more. I take my certificate from the officiator, shake his hand, and look out to the audience once again.

And I see him. Every single time, I see him.

A man stumbling down the center aisle, appearing drunk and disorderly, but he’s covered in blood, and his skin is bluish-grey. Decomposition has clearly already started. That was evident by both the open wounds on his body and the putrid stench that accompanied him. And the rest always happens the exact same way.

The crowd notices him, and slowly, the entire auditorium falls silent. Security starts to come around from the emergency exits, but before they can get to him, the man has made his way to the front row.

And he attacks my mother.

Her screams, the screams of my father and brothers, the screams of the audience and the screams coming from my own throat haunt me. He rips her vocal cords out with one swift bite, and her screams cease as quickly as they began.

And this is always where my nightmare ends.

I wake up in a cold sweat, nothing unusual there. I throw myself upwards, letting out a small yelp and feeling all over myself with my hands, checking for wounds and blood. My mornings went exactly the same way.

Every. single. time.

The small shed I had spent the night in looked even dustier during the day. I used my hands to prop myself up off of the floor and and pulled my backpack, which was my pillow every night, out from behind me. Scooting slightly to my left to get out of the blinding sun coming in through the window, I unzipped it and went through the checklist that I always do, making sure every weapon I had was still in its place.

“Axe, knife, guns, spear,” I said out loud, pulling one of the small guns and the collapsible spear out and setting them on the ground next to me. Checking that the safety was still on for both guns, I checked for my other items. Nothing had ever been stolen from me in the night, but you couldn’t be too careful.

“Journal, water bottle, clothes, food, tools, gauze, lighter, bandages, disinfectant, sewing kit, pills, and my most unique weapon.” Once everything was accounted for, I took the blanket I had been using and folded it as best as I could, stuffing it in on top of everything. I slipped my water bottle out and took the smallest sip, just enough to get rid of my cotton mouth and dry throat. I slipped the gun I left on the floor into the strap on my leg and extended my spear, getting up off of the ground and dusting myself off.

I paused for a moment and listened to the birds chirping outside. I wonder what they were saying to each other, I thought to myself. They seem happy. Of course they did. They don’t have to live through the end of the world in the same way humans do.

My reveling in listening to bird calls was quickly interrupted by the sound of a scream. A human scream. And Walker groans.

I swung my backpack onto my shoulders and jumped to the corner next to the door. I lifted my head slowly, just enough for my eyes to enter the window frame.

There was a man, probably around my age, on the ground, and three Walkers surrounding him. I could see that he had lost his knife in the scuffle, and I imagine he was hesitant to use a gun because he didn’t want to attract more of the reanimated corpses. I readied my spear, took a deep breath, and kicked the door open in one fell swoop.

“Aye motherfuckers!” I yelled, drawing the attention of all three Walkers towards me. I skipped backwards, away from the man, putting a little more distance between myself & the undead. I swung my spear and stabbed the closest one right between the eyes, pulling it out and watching the heap fall to the ground. The other two went down similarly. I paused for a moment, perking up my ears and listening to make sure no others were coming.

Once it was clear, I ran to the man. He was still on the ground, groaning in pain. That’s when I saw the bite on his ankle. My heart sank. But I knew what I needed to do. I ran and kneeled down next to him.

“Hey, what’s your name man?” I said to him, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. I saw a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“A-A-Aaron,” he said, gritting his teeth through the pain.

“Alright Aaron, my name is Vector. I’m a doctor, and I can save you, but we gotta get you inside that shed right there. Can you sit up?” He nodded and used his arms to pull himself into a sitting position. I got up on my feet and put an arm around his back, under his arms.

“Alright Aaron, let’s get you on your feet,” I told him, and I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. He put his body weight onto his right foot & onto me, and we slowly stood up together. Thankfully, the shed was right by us. I got him through the door and helped him back down onto the floor. Once he was on his back, I moved like lightning to get out my small axe, disinfectant, lighter, bandages, gauze, and two of my shirts, one with long sleeves and a small one.

“Aaron, you probably know where this is going, but I’m going to have to cut your foot off. And then I’m going to cauterize your wound so it hopefully won’t get infected,” I said between inhales, taking the my smaller shirt and tying it into a knot to form a gag. We couldn’t have him attracting any more Walkers. “I need you to take this and bite down as hard as you can. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes…” Aaron said. I saw a couple of tears leave his eyes. He put the knotted shirt into his mouth, laying his head back onto the dirty floor. I poured a small amount of disinfectant onto my axe and onto his leg, just above the bite mark. Some of the disinfectant ran into the wound, and he writhed in pain.

“Alright.” I looked over at him, meeting his eyes, “I need you to stay completely still. Bite down as hard as you possibly can. You got this my man.” He squeezed his eyes shut. I raised the axe up, lining it up with where I was going to make my mark.

“I’m so sorry Aaron,” I whispered, swinging the axe down as hard as I could. Thankfully, his foot and ankle came off with one hit. His blood sprayed across the shed, getting onto the walls and all over both of us.

Despite the muffling of the shirt, his screaming was loud. The tears were flowing. And so was the blood. I grabbed my lighter with my right hand and grabbed Aaron’s hand with my left one, squeezing it to remind him he wasn’t alone.

“I’m going to cauterize it next. This pain is probably going to be worse, but I know you can do this. Just keep breathing through your nose and squeeze my hand when you need to,” I told him. He didn’t nod or acknowledge what I said in any way, but I had to keep moving to stop the bleeding. I flicked on my lighter and held it to his open wound, gliding it back and forth across the whole area. I did this for a couple of minutes to ensure the whole area had been cauterized. For Aaron, I’m sure it felt like hours. He squeezed my hand so hard that I was sure he was going to break it. His muffled screams were the only sound I heard.

“You’re doing great bud,” I spoke softly, “I have padding and gauze that I’m going to put onto it next, then I’m going to wrap it in one of my shirts. Keep biting onto that one for as long as you need.” This time, he opened his eyes, which were bright red from crying, and nodded. I took a couple of pads and pressed them to his leg, holding them in place while I started the gauze wrapping.

“I’m sorry I don’t have an ice pack or anything to help with the burning,” I said. He spat my shirt onto the ground and let out a small chuckle.

“Sorry? You just saved my life.” I took my long-sleeved plaid button-up and wrapped his leg in it, using the sleeves to tie it around his calf. He was still hyperventilating a little.

“Just rest for right now,” I instructed, “once you’re doing a little better, I’ll help you get back to your home base.” He tried to pull himself up to a sitting position, but I lightly pressed on his shoulders to let him know to lay back down, “Stay like that. Just focus on your breathing. I have some water, and I have food if you’re hungry.”

“What did you say your name was?” he asked me. I pulled my water bottle, which was about half-full, out of my bag.

“Vector,” I repeated. I scooted over to him and helped him lift his head enough to sip some water without choking on it. I took my knotted shirt and unknotted it, giving to him to wipe the tears and water off of his face. He rotated his head and looked up at me.

“Vector, why did you help me?” he asked, “you could’ve just killed me, saved your resources. Or taken my stuff and ran.” I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

“I took an oath,” I explained, “I’m a doctor. This is what I do.”

“How can I—“ a cough stopped him mid-sentence, “repay you? I can get you food, water, supplies. I have a community. Just say the word and whatever you want is yours.” I leaned back and grabbed my spear, which I had dropped on the way in, and collapsed it fully, rolling back and forth on the floor between my hands.

“Honestly, I could just use directions to a certain place, I must be close to it by now. I’m looking for a safe zone, it’s called—“

“Alexandria.”

I cocked my head at him, my words catching in my mouth and my facial expression displaying my shock. “How did you know that?”

“It’s the only one around here. We’re only a couple miles out” he laughed. Despite my protests earlier, he used his upper body to pull himself up into a sitting position, leaning back against some boxes, “I’m actually from there. I’m a recruiter. I go out with my partner Eric, and we search for survivors, like yourself, and see who would make useful additions to our community. And hell, we could definitely use you.”

I couldn’t believe my luck.

“I’ve been looking for Alexandria for months.”

[jenniferjareauwife]

Pretty Please

pairing: jennifer jareau x reader

category: fluff

warnings: slight innuendo

word count: 657

summary: all you want is a day of cuddles with your girlfriend which ends up with her coaxing you to sleep

As soon as JJ got home I pounced on top of her, wrapping my legs are her waist and my arms around her neck, almost knocking her off her feet. "Woah honey." She dropped her bags to support me. "What's gotten into you honey?" She laughed and kissed my jaw.

"I love you." I hid my face in her neck.

"I love you too baby." She smiled against my skin and walked into the bedroom, laying me down on the bed while standing between my legs. It was a funny position, making me laugh and blush. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. Just looks like you're gonna..."

"Someone missed me a bit too much didn't she?" She laughed softly and ran her fingertips over my stomach, making me shiver. She bit her lip while looking down at me. "You're really sensitive."

"I want to cuddle." She hummed at my comment and raised her brows, getting on top of me to straddle me. "Please."

"Let me shower first ok? I'm stinky."

"I don't care if you're stinky I want to cuddle."

"Someone's getting a bit demanding." She giggled and rolled off of me.

"Please? Pretty please."

"Well since you said pretty please." I smiled widely and attached myself to her. She let out a small groan and wrapped her arms around me. "I've missed your hugs."

"I've missed your hugs too baby." She kissed my temple and I readjusted herself so I could lay on top of her. "Were you ok while I was gone? I know it's hard sometimes."

"Yeah I was ok. I would've appreciated more calls but-"

"Then I'll call you more next time." My heart warmed at her words and I just stayed quiet, listening to her heartbeat. "Y/n?"

"Yeah."

"I love you." She gently scratched my scalp with her fingertips. "I want you to know that. I really miss you when I go on cases and I really want to keep in touch with you as best as I can, you know? So that you don't miss me so much."

"I'm always gonna miss you." I admitted heavily. "I mean...I love you and you're away for weeks at a time and sometimes you're in different time zones so we can't get a hold of each other for a while." She nodded. "You're not going to be able to get me to stop missing you." I relaxed as she trailed her fingertips under my shirt and over the skin of my back lightly.

"Well is there anything I can do to make it better? Cause I hate getting calls from you at one in the morning because you can't sleep because your anxiety is keeping you up."

"Just...I like hugs and cuddles when you get back. Those make me feel a lot better, knowing I have something to look forward to." She nodded and took a deep breath. I turned my head and rested my chin on her chest, reaching for one of her hands. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm ok. You?" I gave her a small nod and moved up her body so my face was buried in her neck.

We stayed there for hours, with me lying on top of her on the verge of falling asleep but waking myself up so I could enjoy the feeling of being in her arms. "You can fall asleep if you need to baby. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"Mm." I hummed in response. "I want to cuddle though."

"We are cuddling babe. And I'll be right here when you wake up." She stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "Just fall asleep, ok? You haven't had good sleep in a while. I want you to get some rest."

"But-"

"Shh. No buts sweetheart. Get some rest. I'm not going anywhere."

"Mm. Ok." I wrapped my arms even tighter around her before letting myself drift off to sleep. "I love you."

"I love you more."

[ghoulie-67-baby]

Jigsaw piece- Criminal minds.

Summary: Your first case with the team has definitely gone well. You have a post case chat with Hotch.

Warnings: Language, fluff.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader.

Word count: 988.

Being the new team member wasn't easy. They didn't necessarily make it difficult it was just odd not having my footing in an environment. I had dressed for the part, slacks and a shirt, which made Garcia joke that I was the female version of Hotch.

I wanted to exude an atmosphere that screamed business, that didn't show I could be walked all over and treated like shit by anyone and so far I'd done a good job. Everyone treated me as an equal and when anyone outside the team tried to talk down to me they all had my back. I wasn't used to being the outsider though, in my last team I was there the longest and now I felt like a newborn donkey on wobbly legs. But that didn't stop me from doing my job. We threw ourselves into our case, I worked hard to prove that I was worth the transfer and was thoroughly exhausted by the end of it. I had managed to get some sort of common ground with the team. From enjoying fluffy animals with Garcia to comparing the best whiskey with Rossi, they were all wonderful and I was happy to say I worked well alongside them.

Reid and I had enslaved our brains over solving riddles sent by the unsub and I'd helped Prentiss and Morgan connect the victims. JJ had enlisted my help in dealing with some press that caused trouble before Hotch and I made the final arrest though it ended with a scuffle. The victim ended up clinging to me for a while but I was more than happy to comfort them, after all they'd been through enough. I catered my work to fit in any scenario they put me in, flexibility was key in this job and I got along with everyone so well. I was like a jigsaw piece, whatever shape the others were, I moulded myself to fit in whatever gap needed filling.

The past few days had been unceasing, the case was relentless and everyone was ready to go home and sleep in their own bed. Everyone apart from Rissi, Hotch and I were sleeping, slouched in positions that would definitely cause aches later on. Emily's head was in JJ's lap, whose fingers weaved through her dark hair as she leaned against the wall of the jet. Morgan has headphones on, snoring softly but not enough to wake everyone. Reid had his open book still clutched in his hand, glasses crooked and mouth open in a deep sleep. Rossi took notes from the case file in his book, pausing every so often before staring at the page in concentration. He nodded in thanks as I set down a fresh cup of coffee and wandered back to my seat.

"Thought you might want a fresh cup. I'm surprised you two aren't asleep yet." I spoke quietly to Hotch, wary of waking the team from their peaceful slumbers. He smiled slightly up at me, placing down his own files before taking the cup from me.

"I don't really sleep much on the jet and Dave has more energy than the rest of us at the best of times. He likes to make notes whilst they're fresh in mind." He paused, sipping his drink. "Why haven't you gotten some rest?"

"I'm not keen on sleeping in the air, turbulence is a nightmare and no matter how many times I fly I can't get used to it. That and my hair is always ridiculous when I wake up." I joked, grinning at my boss whilst I traced the patterns on my cup. He chuckled and nodded in understanding.

"Dave's not keen on flying either, his knuckles go white when turbulence hits. I'm surprised the tables aren't cracked." He joked, watching the older profiler as he worked. "I wouldn't mention it to Reid through, he'll tell you facts that definitely won't help. Reid's hair can be crazy when he wakes up too, JJ offers to braid it all the time but he refuses. You should ask her if she'll do yours sometime." He offered as I contemplated the thought.

"David seems very set in his ways. I imagine it's a good routine to be in after working for the FBI for so long. I might get some tips from him, might make me more organised." I paused to take a mouthful of the hot beverage before speaking once more. "I'm amazed at how well you all work together. You all really respect and care for each other. I'm so glad and honoured to be a part of the team and can't wait to get to know you all better."

"We're glad to have you on board. The team has really taken a shine to you." A smile crept onto my face as I looked around at the sleeping members.

"I've taken a shine to you guys too," I admitted, "you've all been so welcoming and sweet, it's been nice. Sometimes people are funny about new members, can be cold and try to force them out but you guys are so open to new people, it's refreshing." Stifling a yawn, I curled my legs under me, finishing off my drink.

"There's still a few hours before touchdown if you wanted to grab a bit of sleep. I can wake you up when we get closer if you'd like." My heart melted at the offer and I found I couldn't refuse it. After a second of hesitation, I nodded, curling against my seat and letting my eyes flutter shut. Even though I could feel his eyes on me, they gave me a sort of comfort and I relaxed rather quickly, breathing evening out as I began to drift off. Before I could completely fall asleep, I felt something being draped over me. The smell of cologne drifted up as I snuggled down into it, Hotch's blazer providing extra warmth.

[anyamaris]

How to Love Your Enemy- Part 3

Word Count-12k (yeah...I got a little carried away in this part)

Summary-An unexpected twist is thrown into your life as you begin your new career, in the form of the man you once knew.

Pairing- Kang Yeosang x f!reader

Trope-Enemies to lovers AU

Warnings-Vulgarity, angry conversations, allusions to past hurt, arguments, mentions of drinking, drunkenness, minor injury and mentions of blood (just a scrape wound), unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, sexual acts in public, just tons of smuttiness in this one cause...well....I like to write smut...Minors DNI 18+ .

Tags- @cultofdionysusnet @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @yoonguurt @shinestarhwaa @babesindestroyland @lemonhongjoong @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @flowerboykun @millennial-fangirl @ericssmile @kthpurplesyou @changbinslovelylegs @yeosxxx @ssaboala @millennial-fangirl @starillusion13 @duchesskaren

Always thank you to @cafekitsune for the use of the beautiful banners and dividers!

A/N-As I said, I got a little carried away in this one. During editing alone, I think I added around 4k.... I thought this would end the little mini series but I may end up adding a bit more if there's interest. (Ill likely finish it for myself at some point regardless). Thank you to everyone who has read so far and I'm sorry for the long chapter!

The rest of your afternoon is a bit of a haze, as you let the cupcakes cool to be frosted later.  You busy yourself with cleaning up, and then decide to take a small nap.  Upon waking, you make your way back to the kitchen still in a bit of a daze but stop as you picture his hands on your body, his mouth on yours.  His handsome face as he dropped to his knees and his lips….

“Oh goodness…” you sigh out, clutching the counter to steady yourself.  If I keep thinking about this, I’m not going to get anything done, you think and take a few deep breaths. You try to focus on anything but the…activities from earlier.

 Finally able to function a bit better, you busy yourself with frosting and adding cute little candy decor to the cupcakes.  You put them in the cute little box and happily make your way over to see Soobin.  

“Hey!” The tall man says cheerfully as he opens the door, his eyes lighting up when he sees the box in your hands.  You’d made it a point to get some adorable little bakery boxes for your baked goods last time you’d done a sweep through the store and his delighted expression had you doing an internal fist pump.  Totally worth it.

“It’s so professional!” he exclaims as you hand over the cupcakes.  “I hope you guys enjoy them!” you lean over and wave to the others and they all call out happily.  “Want to come in?” he asks and you smile, deciding that some fun time would definitely be better than going home and thinking too much.  Spending the evening with the five tall gorgeous men puts you in much better spirits and you are able to push all the confusion to the side for the time being.  

Happy to be making friends, especially when you live right across the hall, you can only thank fate that at least one thing is going well in your life.  Sunday is relaxing and quiet, and you find yourself taking a long, hot bath, as well as spending a bit more time on shaving and pampering.  You even end up adding in some extra facial care, then spend a bit of time going through your panties and bras, until you finally stop singing along with the music to realize what you’re doing.

“Just because a man has his face in between my legs in my kitchen doesn’t mean we’re….anything…right?” you say to the walls, but they have no answers for you.  “I still…hate him…don’t I?”  The only answer you get in the music playing as you frown down at your intimates.  “What am I even doing?” you huff, tossing them back in the drawer and going to check your phone for the 100th time that day.  Still nothing.  Not a call or a text.  You frown and feel your heart throb.

“Ha, like he’d just text me…” you toss the phone, going into the bathroom to scream into the smaller space as you start cleaning anxiously.  It’s fine, it’s not like you wanted him to change anything.  Not like you wanted to see that beautiful smile again.  To run your fingers through his hair….You can only screech like a maniac as you focus on making everything spotless.  

Yep, everything is fine.

Monday morning.  Another Monday morning.  Yet another routine, but on this morning you take special care with your makeup.  With putting up your hair carefully, wearing a more form fitting blouse, emphasizing your body.  Smiling, you pull out a knee length skirt that has a cute little flare to it, wanting to feel a bit more feminine.  The colors compliment you and you wink at yourself in the mirror, then laugh out loud at your cheesiness.  

“Hey!” you scold yourself, pointing a finger at your reflection.  “It’s perfectly fine to take pride in my appearance.  If no one else notices it, I can appreciate myself.” Nodding, feeling better, you grab your bag and toss on some heels, making your way to the bus stop, repeating that this was definitely for you.  Definitely.  

You’re not sure if it’s the outfit, or the extra time you had taken on yourself today, but you were getting more looks than usual.  More male gazes aimed your way, and you can’t help but blush and look away when you notice.  Maybe you got them before and hadn’t noticed? You think, but shrug it off as you make your way from the stop to the building.  

You pause briefly as you see a familiar figure walking into the building, his gait unmistakable.  “You’re fine.” you whisper, smoothing your skirt and taking a deep breath, continuing your way into work.  You manage to make it into the elevator before the doors close and you smile at your coworkers.  Making small chit chat, you can’t help the little extra bounce in your step, feeling like today will be a good day.  Especially if you get to see certain people.  

As you leave the elevator, you make your way to your desk and get right into your emails.  You smile at Minseok as he comes over to you, chatting about your weekend as you get ready for your Monday meeting with- You glance over as you hear Yeosang’s deep voice from across the room.  

Shaking your head, you try to give your full attention to Minseok.  “You look really nice today.” he is saying and you can’t help but beam at him.  “Oh, thank you!” you say, blushing a little at the unexpected compliment.  “Really, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a skirt. It’s really pretty..” he says, a little stain on his cheeks giving him an almost cherub like look and you giggle.  “Aww, you’re so sweet.” you say, fighting the urge to pinch his adorable face.  

“Did you forget about your work meeting?” you suddenly hear from behind you, startling you, then Minseok waves as he makes his way back to his desk.  You turn to see two dark eyes glaring at you and you frown as you tilt your head at the man you’d definitely not wanted to see the most.  Why is he glaring and frowning already? 

“We still have a few minutes before that starts, Yeosang. I was just talking to my coworker.  Is that not alright?” your tone is a bit more clipped than you mean it to be, but for some reason his comment and the look on his face has your good mood slipping through the cracks.  

“Just…let’s just get this over with.” he snaps and turns to head to his office, confusing you.  Besides the few times he’s pulled you in there, most meetings were in the conference room, but you just shrug and follow, rubbing your neck in frustration.  Why was he so angry? Did he regret things? Your brain races as you walk through his office door under his scrutinizing frown.  Closing the door behind him, he turns to you and crosses his arms.

“Where would you like to start?” you ask, sitting  on the loveseat you’ve become familiar with.  Crossing your legs, you watch his eyes scan you, dipping down, then back up to your face, his scowl deepening.  You just tap your pen against your notebook in confusion, not understanding why he looks so upset.  “Is something wrong?” you ask him, but he just sighs, rubbing a hand over his face as he makes his way to his desk.  

“No…yes…no…” he mutters and you can’t help but smirk a little at his odd answer.  “What’s going on? Is everything alright? It’s strange of you to be so-” “How would you know what is or isn’t strange for me?” he bites out, then turns his head from you as you sit in shock, busying himself with his computer. 

 “Um. Oh….” you say, folding in on yourself  a bit.  You feel a wave of irritation wash over you as tears prick at the back of your eyes.   “Right, so…” you clear your throat, then launch into work, going over edits and details he needs to know, then making sure he’s set up for the first part of the week.  You struggle to keep yourself focused and hope he will say something.  He only glances over occasionally, barely even looking at you as you verify your priorities for the day.  

Feeling suffocated and needing to get out of this office, you just stand and nod at him, concluding the meeting with just a, “Then.” He ignores you as you walk out, closing the door behind you.  Swallowing a few times as you press your hand to your chest, you put on your practiced smile and go back to your desk to get to work.  You’d deal with your confusion later, letting this affect your work was the last thing you should be doing.  

By the time lunch rolls around, you lean back and stretch, smiling at your coworkers as they make their way out, chatting and groaning about the busy afternoon to come.  “Hey, did you want to go get a coffee with me?” Minseok asks and you nod, “Oh god yes, that sounds like the perfect lunch!” Laughing, you both make your way out and you happen to catch a glimpse of Yeosang as he walks past you both, noticing that his mood doesn’t seem to have changed.  He doesn’t even seem to acknowledge your presence and you grit your teeth and just keep smiling.

The afternoon is just as crazy as you expect, managing to finish up just a little bit after everyone says goodbye for the night.  You happen to grab the elevator as it opens and make your way to the back, watching the last flood of people crowd in.  You glance down at your phone as you wait, then feel yourself get jostled to the back corner.  Someone bumps you pretty hard, causing you to stumble on your heels but then a strong hand is steadying you, an arm slipping around your waist. 

Immediately, you put your hands up to push against whoever is touching you, but when you glance up, you’re met with those dark, intense eyes.  Yeosang’s eyes.  The same glaring eyes from earlier, making you glare back at him. 

 Your hands are flat against his chest since there’s nowhere to go, and his body is extremely close to yours, but his face doesn’t change as he gazes at you.  He is pressed closer into you as more people get on, and you can’t help the hitch of breath that escapes your mouth as you feel his crotch press against your thigh. He adjusts as people around you move and you can feel his heart beating under your hand, then the bulge is hardening. 

 Your eyes flit up to his face again and the dark gaze is the same, but a small smile has crept across his lips. Your pulse racing, he watches you as he rubs himself against you, bringing heat into your cheeks.  He lets out a small little groan as he tips his head to brush his lips against your cheek and you shudder from the sensation.   Suddenly, his hand is slipping down and lifting the hem of your skirt, drawing out a gasp from you. 

 “Shhh…” he whispers next to your ear and you bite your lip as his warm hand skims across the bare flesh of your inner thigh. His strong fingers are brushing the sensitive skin, sliding up slowly to trace the seam of your panties.  Your once dry panties, but as he pushes them aside, you can feel yourself leaking your need for him all over his fingers as he touches you. 

 “Yeo-” you try to whisper, but he moves his body against yours as he breathes into your ear.  “Shhh…shhhh…” is all that leaves his lips as his fingers delve into you, two at once, and you’ve got his shirt in a death grip as you tremble in his arms.  He pushes your thighs open with his own, lifting your skirt more to grind against your naked thigh, his hips mimicking the same rhythm of his fingers.  “You like this?” he whispers softly and you quiver, biting your lip so hard to keep the sound from escaping.   

It takes everything in you not to make a noise, but the way your whole body shakes tells him everything.  He is panting softly in your ear, his fingers coated with your moisture as he finds the right pressure of his palm against your clit.  A small “Mmmm..” leaves his throat as he finally brushes against the spongy spot within you and you have to press your face against his chest, biting the side of your hand to keep the whimper in. “There…right there.. yeah?” his deep voice makes your legs feel like rubber as he fucks you with his agile fingers, his cock straining against his pants as he plunges into you faster.  Your head jerks back as you feel your body spasm, drawing in a sharp breath, but then his hand is covering your mouth to keep you quiet.  The sight of his lust filled dark eyes has you spiraling, grateful so many people are pressed in around you to hold you up.  

 “Cum..cum..cumm..” he’s whispering,  groaning as your walls clamp around his fingers, “Shhh ... .god yes ... .shhh…” he keeps murmuring.  Your head swims and you can feel your thighs dripping with the overpowering climax he’s just pulled out of you.  He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you as you quake against him, his erection throbbing, grinding into your thigh as he overstimulates you.  You look up at him, your lips parted, your face flushed and your eyes glazed and his own eyes flare crazily.  

He glances behind you both as people continue to get on and off, and noticing that no one is looking at either of you, he takes his hand off your mouth and replaces it with his own.  You can hear the whine from your throat as his tongue teases against yours.  “Garage, my car.” he whispers and you can only nod, completely shocked at the sudden turn of events and the insane thought that you just did this in a public place, your WORK. But the dampness between your thighs and the throbbing around the fingers he still has within you has you throwing caution to the wind.  

You have to reach down and grip his wrist as your legs shake, as he seems to have nested his fingers deep within you.  He seems content to just slowly move them, his thumb rubbing across your clit occasionally, seeming to enjoy the little spasm it gives your whole body.  “Stop.” you whisper and he chuckles, looking down at you.  “Should I?” he whispers back with a small smile and you can only shake your head no.  No, you didn’t want him to stop.  

Finally, the elevator makes it to the garage and he slips his fingers out of you as you watch everyone empty out, trying to fix your panties covertly.  He strides out ahead of you and you hesitate briefly, catching the door as it’s about to close as he turns to look back at you.  “Coming?” he asks, but the seductive smirk makes it sound so lewd and your breath catches.  

“Yeosang…what…where are you taking me?” you ask him, but he’s opening his passenger side for you, gesturing for you to get in.  “Really?” you raise an eyebrow at him and his eyes harden, and you get into the vehicle.  For some reason, his angry look has you wanting to obey him, but you also are more than curious to see what he’s going to do after that stunt in the elevator.  As he gets in the driver’s side, he closes and locks the doors, then glances around behind you through the windows.  

“Yeosang-” you manage but as he turns to look at you, the completely animalistic look on his face has you falling silent.  Swallowing hard, you can feel your heart pounding through your chest and you’re almost certain he can hear it too.  You try to look away from his ridiculously handsome face, but the throbbing pulse in his neck has you parched.  You manage to open your mouth briefly to ask again, but his tongue is there, seeking yours, his hand cupping the back of your head to hold you in place.  Not that you’d go anywhere, your tongue eagerly clashing with his, your hands in his hair.  

“Not here.” he murmurs, drawing back and leaving you almost in tears from need.  What was this? You think, frustrated even more so now than anywhere throughout the day.  “What? Where are we-” “Your place,” he says huskily, causing your whole body to shudder.  “Wait…I don’t understand…” you whisper, glancing at him, then looking out the window as he drives.  

“You don’t understand? What is it you don’t understand?” he asks, not looking away from the road.  “You.  I don’t understand anything about you.  Earlier you said-” “Do you not want me to take you home?” he asks, and you stifle the urge to scream.  Your head hurt from trying to figure him out.  Suddenly feeling extremely sensitive and emotional, you just lean back.  “Fine, Yeosang.  Take me home.”  you cross your arms, turning towards the window, feeling reality hit you.  

You kept letting him creep in and surprise you, and while that was wonderful while it lasted, nothing was ever clear.  Even your attempt to talk is met with resistance and you feel a small bit of shame from letting him just use you as he wished.  As you see your building, you turn to him and point, “Let me out here.” He turns to look at you, confused and you just glare at him.  “But-” “This is fine.” you bite out and he frowns as he slows down. “Okay..” he says, and before the car even stops, you are opening the door, not even saying a word before slamming it and walking off.  

You can hear him leaving behind you but you don’t bother looking as you open the doors and make your way into your building.  “Jerk.” you mutter and wipe at the stupid tears on your face.  Upon opening your apartment door, you kick your shoes off, yanking at your hair in frustration.  “What is so wrong about talking? Why is he angry one minute then he’s -” you blush as you remember his fingers deep inside of you, then you throw your head back and scream. 

 “DAMN YOU KANG YEOSANG!” 

The next day is no better, nor the day after that.  You have just given Yeosang the cold shoulder and you’d barely seen him given the busy state of the office. You’d opened your emails and had been reminded of a company party happening at the office this Saturday and you realized you’d have to go shopping for a dress.  You really didn’t want to go, but the whole office was buzzing about it and asking about who everyone was bringing and all the fun you’d all have.  You couldn’t help but get a little excited.  You just hated that you’d be going alone. 

 The little glimpses you’d seen of Yeosang had you running the other way.  Every time you could smell his scent, you were panicking and hiding.  The very few instances you had to interact, his eyes were unreadable and you did your best to avoid looking at him directly.  There hadn’t been any more elevator encounters.  Now you just had to concentrate on accepting that you’d be going to the party stag. 

That was, until Soobin happened to come by on Wednesday evening.  As he chatted with you, which was becoming a normal thing when you got home, you happened to mention the party.  “Oh that sounds like so much fun!” he exclaims and you shake your head.  “Ah, maybe I guess?  I got a really pretty dress and everything but everyone is bringing a date, so I feel awkward.”  “Really? How come no date?” he asks, eyeing the batch of cookies you’d made.  “Go ahead, eat them silly.  You don’t have to ask.” you say and his eyes light up, popping one into his mouth.  “As for the date, I guess I just…I don’t know.  I don’t have anyone to go with.” you shrug, and he perks up.  

“How about me?” he asks and you look at him in shock.  “You?” you cough out and he frowns as he chews another cookie.  “Why not?” His fallen expression makes you feel horrible and you put your hands up frantically.  “I didn’t mean anything bad! Soob, I’d love to take you, I suppose I’m just surprised you’d want to go with me.”  He shrugs and smiles, tilting his head.  “We’re friends and you always take care of me.” 

“You just want to meet your role model.” you poke his nose and he grins, “Well that helps too…I won’t lie.  I’d love to meet him.  BUT, I also don’t want you to go alone.  I have plenty of dress clothes, don’t worry!” he reassures you and you giggle.  “Soob, even if you went in a hoodie and jeans, I’d be honored.”  He just smiles happily and you both chat about the party and other random things.  

So when Friday rolls around and you’re making your way out of the station after a long day, you are shocked when you feel a hand on your arm to stop you.  Your heart stutters briefly, turning and expecting Yeosang but you’re faced with Minseok and your heart falls.  Irritated at thinking of the frustrating man, you smile at your co-worker. 

“Hey! I have a quick question, do you know any good places to take a girl on a date? Like coffee or anything?” The panic on his face has you biting back a smile and you pat his shoulder.  “Awww, are you going on a first date?”  He nods frantically, looking panicked and you can’t help but rub his arm to calm him.  “Here, there’s some really nice ones…”  you give him some random places as you watch his face relax, trying your best not to smile at how cute he is.  “Good luck,” you say to him once you send him the locations with a thumbs up  and he suddenly gives you a big hug, thanking you profusely as he runs off waving.

Giggling, you turn to see Yeosang parked at the curb, passenger window rolled down.  Your grin drops as you curl a lip at him.  His scowl was not inviting, so you turn to walk away before he calls out to you, “Get in.” Huffing, you turn back to look at him, giving him your own scowl.  “Excuse me?” you ask and he sighs, getting out of the car to come over to you.  “Please…let me give you a ride home.” he asks in a low tone and you close your eyes, but then decide that you’d rather this than the crowded bus.  

“Fine. But only because you asked instead of demanding it.” you say, eyeing him.  You catch him rolling his eyes but ignore it, getting in and fastening your seatbelt.  You immediately cross your arms and turn away like you had the last time.  Once he’s in, the silence seems to be oppressive as he stays in park, forcing you to turn towards him in irritation.  “Are we-” 

“Why are you being like this?” he asks and you can only gape at him.  “Being like what?” you choke out, completely taken aback at how he could ask that.  “You’ve been avoiding me and ignoring me.” he says and it’s your turn to roll your eyes.  “As opposed to the close friendship we have and how we talk ALL THE TIME??” you ask and he winces at the sarcasm.  

“You seem to be friendly enough with everyone else.” he says and you swear his words are laced with venom, confusing you.  “Am I not allowed to be nice to other people?” you can only stare at him incredulously. “You don’t seem to have an issue being nice to everyone else either.” you mutter.  You both just stare at each other, and the tense atmosphere has you wanting to shriek. He just shakes his head and shifts into gear, pulling away and heading towards your destination.  

Most of the ride is silent as you stare out the window, rubbing the back of your neck as you try to get rid of the foul mood you find yourself in.   “Are you going to the party tomorrow?” he asks suddenly, breaking through the quiet space.  “Yes.” is all you answer with and he nods, letting the silence settle in again.  After what seems like forever, you can see your building.  “Here is good.” you point and he nods, pulling up by the curb.  

“Hey-” he calls out as you open the door and you stop, turning to look at him.  The hesitant smile on his face has your heart melting and you curse yourself internally.  “See you tomorrow?” he asks softly and you can only nod as you try to calm your nerves.  “Yes…tomorrow.” you murmur and then you’re heading into your building, cursing your weak emotions, especially when it comes to that man. 

Soobin comes by later that night to solidify plans and you spend the evening trying to distract yourself from the thoughts racing through your brain.  What was with that guy, you think as you fold the same shirt for the fifth time.  You can only scowl at yourself for the distraction you’re causing yourself and decide to call it a night, sleeping fitfully.

Waking up in a mildly irritable mood from the broken sleep, you take your time getting out of bed.  Spending the first part of the day cleaning and checking your outfit and everything for later, you decide to finally shower and get ready in the early afternoon.  You’d purchased a really pretty mid thigh length black dress, long enough to be fairly modest but you thought it looked good on you and maybe even slightly sexy.  As you put the finishing touches on, earrings, makeup, you smile as you study your figure, wondering if he will notice…

“This dress is for me, not him.” you tell your reflection, then stick your tongue out, feeling silly.  “And my date.” You can’t help but wonder if Yeosang will bring a date as well, but then you’re brought to your senses as your doorbell rings and you grab your bag and shoes, opening it to Soobin.  He looks amazing, tall and sleek in a nice black suit.  His eyes widen as he takes you in, then he gives you a huge grin.  “Wow! You look amazing….wow…” he studies you and you can’t help but blush as you pose for him, making him laugh.  “My date is hot!” he winks.

“Thank you, kind sir.” you say, fluttering your eyelashes and you both giggle, then he’s taking your arm to escort you down.  “My lady,” he says in a ridiculous tone as he opens the door to the ride he’d ordered and you enjoy the little silliness as you both get in, telling him about your work on the way.  Once you arrive, his eyes light up as he takes in the building, helping you out of the taxi.  “Wow,” he whispers, “So cool.” You can only roll your eyes and you smack his arm.  “It’s just a building, Soobin.” you snicker at his overacting and he nods, smiling at you as he takes your hand in his.  

You look up at him as he pulls you forward to go inside.  “Holding hands now?” you ask, amused and he nods, squaring his shoulders.  “Of course, I’m your date and I’m going to be the best date, hand holding, attentiveness, the whole nine.” he proclaims, causing you to laugh loudly, covering your mouth.  “You’re doing so well, your efforts are commendable.” you nod and he laughs along with you as you make your way to your office.  

You know you’re a bit early but there seem to already be some people here, and you wave at Minseok as you spot him.  He beams at you happily, glancing around, then pointing at the woman next to him, giving you a thumbs up.  Ah, the coffee date, you think and grin at him, happy for his fortune.  You whisper about what happened to Soobin, explaining the first date and as you do, you happen to catch sight of Yeosang emerging from the elevator.  And he’s alone, you think in relief, then catch yourself in irritation.   

He looks amazing, you can’t help but think as you stop breathing for a moment.  His longish hair is swept back and styled nicely, his black pin striped suit fitted extremely well.  You have to struggle to swallow, mentioning to Soobin that you should both find a drink, so you can take your eyes off the ridiculously attractive man that keeps invading your mind.  

The company had catered the event and there were little tables everywhere with glasses of wine and champagne, as well as a small bar.  You go grab a glass of whatever is closest, what looks to be red wine and take a sip.  Soobin just shakes his head, smiling down at you.  “Nah, I don’t drink.  But please,” he gestures, “I’d love to see you have fun, so whatever you’d like.”  You nod and drag him over to meet your coworkers, introducing him to everyone and chatting, definitely not avoiding a certain someone.  Definitely not.    

Noticing that he’s deep into conversation with a few people, you place your hand on his arm and gesture to the restrooms, so he knows you didn’t abandon him.  He nods and you make your way to the girls room.  You stop, checking yourself in the mirror as you wash your hands and  finish up.  As you walk out, you find yourself glancing around, then catch yourself.  Idiot, you think, why are you looking for-

Thoughts are abruptly cut off as you feel a hand on your arm and you’re being spun around.  “What-” you start to yell, but then you’re looking up into familiar dark eyes, blazing at you.  Why does he always look angry at me?  Why just me? 

“Why must you always grab me like I’m some toy for you to play with?!” you hiss at him before you can stop yourself.  His eyes go wide and he lets you go in shock, stepping back.  You both just look at each other in silence as you gather your thoughts.  “Well?” you ask, crossing your arms at him.  “I-” he starts, glancing away, then back at you, then away again.  

“I just wanted to say hello.” he finally says and you sigh, taking a moment to breathe.  “Yeosang…you could try talking to me like a normal person.” He just frowns at you and you cock your eyebrow at him. “Hello, Yeosang.  Nice to see you.” you say, holding out your hand and he just stares at you, seeming to be upset for some reason.  

“If that’s all…” you say, walking away, waving to Soobin when he waves to you, making his way over.  “You-” Yeosang is saying as he walks up behind you, but then Soobin is there, placing a hand on your back as he smiles brightly at Yeosang.  Turning, you remember that Soobin had mostly come for Yeosang so you try to be cheery as you smile at the grouchy man.  Trying to smile, you gesture to your date.

“Oh- Yeosang, I wanted you to meet Soobin.  He said he actually went to the same University as you.” Soobin holds out his hand and Yeosang frowns as he clasps it with his own.  “Did we?” he asks, his eyes flicking to you, then back to Soobin.  “You were a year ahead, but you always made an impact on me and all of the other idol trainees.  I just wanted to let you know how much we look up to you and inspired us." He is gushing already and you can’t help but smile up at him, unable to not giggle a bit at how much of an eager puppy he is.  

Yeosang’s eyes draw yours, his eyes unreadable as he listens to Soobin and you can see he’s clearly unhappy with you, but when he looks back at the younger man, he’s smiling and chatting nicely.  Why does he dislike me so much, but then he… you just shake your head, trying to nod along with the conversation.  Noticing they are both caught up with their college talk, you look around.  

You wander off as you notice some other coworkers nearby, leaving the two to reminisce about their university days.  You grab another glass as you go, thinking it might help the anxiety youve got simmering below the surface.  Every single time you had an interaction with Yeosang, it left you feeling confused among a myriad of other emotions.  If it was just hatred, it might be easier but…..Downing the bubbly liquid, you replace it with another full glass and take a large sip.  Oh, should probably slow down…you think, hiccuping from drinking the carbonated drink too fast.  

You glance over at the two men, walking back over to make sure Soobin didn’t feel like you’d abandoned him at a party you brought him to.  Slipping your hand into his, he looks down at you and smiles, squeezing your palm.  Turning to Yeosang you can’t help but notice his scowl has returned with your appearance and you sigh inwardly.  It really was just you who bothered him.  

“Soob-'' you say, but then you hiccup again and pat your chest, giving him a big smile and a giggle.  “Drank champagne too fast, ouch.” you say, and his smile dips a bit, his hand dropping yours to rub your back.  “Are you alright?” he asks, concerned and you just nod, waving your hand.  “Yeah just…too fast, so bubbly!” Soobin smiles in apology at Yeosang, who is frowning at you, and looking back and forth between you both.  You resist the urge to sneer at him as his eyes seem to blaze at you, his jaw clenching.  

“Oh-” Soobin startles and you look up at him as he takes his phone out.  “Are you going to be alright if I take this?” he asks, showing you the phone.  “Of course, silly!” you say, shooing him off and he smiles, mouthing a thank you as he walks  away.  

“How do you two know each other?” Yeosang asks bluntly, and you glance over at him just to see his judging eyes.  “None of your business.” you answer and look around for another drink.  As you grab one, Yeosang plucks  it out of your hand and sets it back down.  “Excuse me?” you choke out, shocked.  

“You’ve already had three drinks in a short period of time.” he states and you sigh, rolling your eyes.  “What are you, stalking me?” you ask, poking him and he looks down at your finger then back at you.  “Perhaps.”  is all he responds with and you scrunch your face at him, sneering almost comically.  His lip twitches and you realize that he almost smiled.  

“Oh!” you point, pretending to gasp and he looks away.  “You..you …was that a smile???” “How do you know him?” he asks again, making you want to scream, but you just turn to walk away.  He follows and you wrinkle your nose at him, grabbing another drink as you wind your way through people, walking into the hallway that leads to another area.  The drink is pulled from your hands again as he catches up with you and you hiss at him, “Will you stop, am I not allowed to enjoy myself?”  he sets the drink to the side and pushes you around a corner where it’s quieter, backing you into a wall, his hand on the wall beside you.

“Really? Isn’t this a bit much?” you eye his arm, then him, crossing your arms to give him an exasperated look.  “Is he your boyfriend?” Yeosang spits out, and you stand a little taller as you uncross your arms, placing your hands on his chest to push him back, but he doesn’t budge.  “It’s none of your business if he is or isn’t.” you snap back and his eyes flare, causing a small shiver of fear to run through you at the pure rage in them.  

“The fuck it isn’t.” he growls, pushing closer to you despite your hands straining against him.  “You don’t own me, Yeosang.  Just because you play with me when it suits you doesn’t mean I’m your property!” you try your best not to yell, but his proximity and your emotions are starting to affect you more than you’d like.  “Who the fuck says I’m playing with you?” he asks, bringing his face closer to yours.  

“Who says you’re not? You don’t-” you're cut off as your phone starts to ring, and you almost sigh in relief, reaching to grab it.  Yeosang clutches your hand as you pull it out and you look back up at him.  “Finish what you were going to say.” he whispers but you hit answer and bring the phone to your ear.  “Hi Soobin…. Yes, sorry just wandered off, I’ll be right there.” you say without ever looking away from Yeosang’s dark, angry eyes.  Hanging up, you frown at the irritating man.

“If you want the answer, you can ask me when I’m not on my DATE.” You duck under his arm and make your way back to the party, grabbing the glass he’d taken from you and going to find Soobin.  At this point, you don’t even want to drink, putting it down as a headache creeps into your temples.

After finding him and mingling a bit more, you find yourself catching Yeosang’s gaze occasionally and you rub the back of your neck in frustration.  “Hey Soobin…I…would you be upset if I said I wanted to leave?” you ask and he immediately puts an arm around you and leans down to whisper in your ear, “No, not at all, I kinda was getting tired too…are you alright?” he asks in concern, eyeing you.  Feeling a bit wobbly, you curse yourself for drinking at all.  

“Yeah…just a bit of a headache.  You were right about drinking too fast, I think I’m a little tipsy and it’s not good tipsy.” you pout and he nods, leading you over to the elevators.  “You didn’t need to say goodbye to anyone?” he asks as the doors open and you shake your head.  “Nah, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s time.  Did you enjoy yourself?” you ask as the doors start to close but then they open back up and you frown as Yeosang joins you both in the lift.  

“Leaving too?” he asks, hitting the button for the garage and you can’t help but roll your eyes.  “Yes, she’s not feeling so good so we’re going to call it a night.” Soobin answers and Yeosang’s eyes soften a bit as he takes in your face.  “Did you drive?” Yeosang asks.  “No, taxi…oh yeah I should-” Soobin starts to pull out his phone, but Yeosang holds up his keys.  “I’ll drive you back. No need to bother with a taxi.” 

 There goes the thought of getting away from him, you think, ignoring the conversation.  “Are you sure? If it’s out of your way-” “It’s not, I’d feel better if I got my coworker and her date home safely.” he says, and you snap your head back to catch the flint in his eyes at the words.  “Such a nice guy.” you say, and Soobin agrees, not catching the underlying sarcasm or the look that passes between you and Yeosang.  

You do your best as you make your way to the car when the elevator doors open, immediately climbing into the back.  During the ride, you just rub your head and look out the window, not even registering the conversation in the front seat as you lose yourself in your thoughts.  Unfortunately, they just bounce from why Yeosang hates you to why he even touched you to begin with if he does, to why he’s so angry about you having a date.  The ideas are conflicting and it just makes your head throb even more. Nothing makes any sense to you and you just want to be in your apartment curled up alone.

As the car pulls up in front of the building, you toss open the door and immediately get out to head towards your building.  You can hear Soobin saying goodbyes behind you and you rub your aching chest, picking up your pace but you’d forgotten you’d worn heels.  You stumble and cry out as your ankle twists, causing you to fall and scrape the palms of your hands and your knees.  You don’t even bother trying to get back up as you feel tears well up in your eyes.  

“Fucking night…fucking weekend…” you curse and wipe your face before you notice your hand is bleeding, causing you to curse again.  “Damn it!” you yell and then Soobin is beside you, his hand on your arm. “Oh my god, are you ok?” he’s asking, tilting your face up and frowning as he watches you cry.  “You’ve got blood on your face, oh my god-” he says, but then he looks up behind you and you feel yourself being lifted into a pair of strong arms. 

“I’ve got her.” you hear Yeosang’s deep, rich voice and just close your eyes in complete embarrassment.  Of course this would happen in front of these two, Soobin being always so caring, and Yeosang ...well…. You really didn’t need to give him another reason to despise you.

 Now here you are, worrying your poor neighbor and Yeosang is probably pissed off, you think, opening your eyes to look up at him.  Instead of contempt though, his eyes are full of worry, and when he glances down as you get into the lobby then the elevator up, his eyes grow even more worried as he looks closely at your face.  

“Can this thing go any faster?” he grits his teeth, panic in his voice.  Soobin, who is bouncing around in concern, takes your hand to look at it under the light.  “You guys, its fine, I just scraped my-” “Shh, it’s alright,” Soobin whispers, smoothing your hair as he pets you.  “Can you get her keys?” Yeosang asks and Soobin nods, opening the bag he’d probably grabbed where you’d fallen.   “I’m fine.” you sniffle out but Yeosang gives you a look, just saying, “Hush.”  

You just bury your face in his chest and hope this humiliating night will end soon.  Finally off the elevator, you can hear Soobin opening your door.  You finally glance up at both of them when Yeosang stops.  “It’s fine, I can take care of her, don’t worry.” He says and Soobin hesitates, looking at you, then Yeosang, then back at you.  “I’m really alright…I’m so sorry Soob.” He just smiles sadly and sighs, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you.” You laugh with a little sniffle, feeling bad. “Silly, it’s my fault…I’m not the best date…” you just smile weakly.  

“Here, take your keys.  Don’t leave them in the door like last time, where anyone can come in.  Ugh…you need to be more careful!” he scolds and you just nod as Yeosang carries you into your apartment, closing the door then setting you down gently.  He kneels to help you take your shoes off as the lights turn on.  You watch him as he slips his hand up your leg to look at the wounds on your knees, his eyes flicking up to you.  “You’re so troublesome.” he says softly, then he’s sweeping you back up in his arms.  “I can walk-” 

“Quiet.” he says, bringing you into the living room area to set you down on the couch.  “Where is your first aid kit?” he asks and you point, “Closet, third shelf.”  He nods and goes to retrieve it, giving you a moment to collect yourself.  You wipe your face again, and he’s tching at you as he comes back.  He pulls your hand away as he sits. “Stop doing that, you’re getting more blood on your face.  I thought you’d landed on it and cut your cheek.”

“I’m fine really, I just-” “Will you just let me?” he asks, exasperated and you bite your lip, holding your other hand out to let him clean up and treat your wounds.  You just watch him in silence, noticing the way his harsh words are completely opposite from the delicate way he’s dabbing at the cuts, the way his hand skims the skin on your leg as he administers care to your bleeding knees.  

“Finish what you were going to say earlier.” he says suddenly, not looking up as he bandages you.  “What…?” you ask, confused, then he’s staring up at you.  His eyes aren’t hard this time, and it catches you off guard.  He moves to sit beside you on the couch, taking a clean wet cloth to wipe at your cheek where you’d smeared the blood from your hand.  

“Why do you think I’m playing with you?”  he asks softly, setting the cloth to the side, then cupping your cheek in his hand.  “Your date is over, so now I can ask.” You can only look at him, trying to collect your thoughts as his thumb traces your cheek, skimming along the bottom of your eye as he collects the little tear threatening to spill out.  

“Because of this.” you whisper in a shaking voice, causing him to wrinkle his brow in confusion.  “This?” he asks and you nod, your lip trembling.  “You do this-you-you-you touch me and act so kind-” you say, trying to stay calm but your breath is hitching as your frustration threatens to strangle you.  “Shh…calm down, it’s ok…” he is pulling you to him and you close your eyes to try to gather yourself.  “Do you not want me to act kind?” he whispers, pulling back and tilting your head up to look at him.  

“I do…I want you to and that’s the problem.” you choke out and he shakes his head, not understanding.  Frustrated, you choke out, “You hate me-” “I don’t.” “Then why didn’t you ever text or call me after you left last weekend?  Why did you act so angry when I saw you again? Did you regret what happened in- with…that-” you gesture to the kitchen, a blush creeping into your cheeks.  

“No! No, of course I don’t regret that…” he whispers, his eyes growing concerned.  “You looked at me like you hated me, then you- the - in the elevator-” you manage and his eyes flash hungrily at the thought.  “You wouldn’t tell me what was going on, I was so confused.. .. You are angry at me, then you touch me and I - I…I hate that you do this to me and you don’t even like me!” you say, the tears flowing freely now.  

“You were upset because I didn’t text you or talk to you after?” he asks and you glare at him.  “No…yes……maybe…I don’t know!” you say, pulling away from him and standing up, wanting some distance.  “I can explain that.” he says, getting up to follow you as you make your way into your room.  “Can you explain why you did-that-here and then were all pissy with me at work Monday?” you say, turning on him and making him draw up short.  

“Yes.” he responds and you gesture to him, hands on your hips.  “Go ahead then, explain it.”  you cross your arms and he stares at you momentarily before saying simply, “My phone broke when I went into work that night.  It’s still in the shop, I haven’t had it all week.  That’s why I didn’t…couldn’t contact you.” 

“Oh…well that still doesn’t explain why-” 

“I was jealous.” he cuts you off, shocking you into silence.

 “What?” you ask, completely confused.  “Jealous? Of what?” He frowns at you, his eyes raking in your form from head to toe before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to him.  “That skirt you wore…how other men looked at you, other men calling you pretty…watching men hug you….touch even your hand….I hated it.” he whispers, his fingers cupping the back of your head as he looks at you.  “Why would you hate that?”  you ask him and he sighs softly.  “I don’t want anyone else to look at you, isn’t that obvious?” 

“No…it’s not even remotely obvious, at least to me.” you respond and he frowns.  “You honestly think I dislike you?” You can only nod at him and he presses his lips softly to yours.  “Do you dislike me?” he asks and when you hesitate, brows draw together in concern.  “It’s too dangerous.” you manage, trying to pull away, but he won’t let you.  “The last time I told you I liked you, you humiliated me and told me I was disgusting.  How-Why-” you stop, trembling at the memory.  Confusion, then realization crosses his features as he studies your face.  

“In high school?” he asks, his eyes wide.  You can only nod, swallowing to try to keep the tears at bay.  He just blinks at you, his face registering a variety of emotions.  “When you…when you told me..?” you finally succeed in pushing him away, turning to go find your pajamas, not wanting to relive it.  

“Forget it, just-” 

“When you told me you liked me then, was that true?” he asks, his face completely serious.  

Snorting out a laugh, you just throw him a snide look.  “What, are you going to rub it in again? Make me feel horrible? Thanks, I don’t need that again messing my head up.”

 “You really liked me?” he asks yet again and you slam the drawer shut as you pull out something comfy nightshirt.  “YES, YEOSANG! Fuck- who the hell confesses feelings if THEY DON’T LIKE THE PERSON? What is your-?” but his mouth is on yours, his hands pulling your pjs out of your arms, pushing you back to the wall before you can even blink. 

You push against him, causing him to draw back, noticing that his eyes are filled with…something you don’t understand.  Concern? He looks upset and you don’t know why.  “Why are you acting like this? Like you don’t know? Like you didn’t know and just wanted to make fun of me?” He only shakes his head, dropping his forehead down to yours.  “I didn’t know.” 

“Liar.” you say, but are unable to push him away.  “Your friend-she told me you were going to mess with me because of my feelings….” he says softly and you huff.  “Yeah…friend? You mean the friend I told all my feelings to, that friend that I told how I was going to confess to you? The friend who stopped speaking to me afterwards and you DATED? That friend?!” You shove him now, memories tearing at the scars.  He winces at your words but you just shake your head.  “I’m changing.” you bite out, gesturing for him to leave.  He crosses his arms, leaning back against the wall.  “Go ahead,” he says.  You turn to glare at him but he only shrugs.  

“You realize I’ve had my face in your-” “OK! FINE.” you yell, blushing at his words. You wiggle out of the dress and toss it at him, turning around. “Who cares, right? I don’t care, it doesn’t matter at all, nope-” Your voice is shrill but you just can’t seem to control it right at the moment.

 “I can explain,” he says calmly, slipping his arms around from behind you, his mouth on your ear.  “Then try to explain.” you say, unable to stop yourself from leaning back into him as he presses against you.  “You’re angry.” he whispers the statement, and you almost scream at the comment.  

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry! Fuck, Yeosang, you make me livid!” you say, spinning in his arms to glare up at him and he just watches you as he holds you.  “I’m standing here in my own fucking bedroom, in my fucking underwear, swearing and pissed off cause you just HAVE to bring up all these ancient fucking-” 

“You’re so fucking hot right now-” he says, then his lips are claiming yours, hoisting your half naked body up against him.  The moan that escapes your throat has you even more angry, but you give in for a moment, letting lust take over.  His kiss makes your head swim and you can’t help but bite his lower lip, but he only presses his body more firmly into yours, his growing arousal very apparent against your lower stomach.  

You grab his hair in your hand and yank it, and he groans as his hands slip down and cup your ass.  “Fucking masochist.” you bite out against his mouth and he laughs softly, nipping your lips.  He backs you up to your bed, but you fight him a bit, not willing to give up ground just yet.  “Can I explain?” he asks, smoothing your hair as he pets you.  “If you think you can.” you counter and he nods, serious now, but not letting you out of his embrace.  

“Your…so called “friend”...she came to me to tell me you were going to ‘confess’ to me but it was just to play with my feelings.” he says, watching your face.  You frown at him, confused.  “Play with your feelings? Why…?”

 “I liked you.” he whispers, his eyes staring off for a moment as if remembering.  “I had it bad for you…so bad.” he sighs, shaking his head.  “She told me…that you liked to play with guys, even showed me some conversations you’d had.  I ….  I guess looking back it was likely fake.” You can only nod as you listen, certain events tickling your memories.  There was a possibility he was telling the truth.  

“I was angry.  Angry, stupid, young, prideful, and…I was hurt.” he says, shaking his head.  “It’s not an excuse for what I said to you, I just…I just want to explain what I thought I knew.  I’m so sorry.” he says, cupping your face, wiping away a tear as you remember with him.

 “When you cried in front of me and ran off…I thought you were just embarrassed that your plan didn’t work.”  he frowns as he looks at you, shaking his head even more.  “I didn’t know… I was so angry at you-....I thought you knew I liked you and-” he stops, and you can feel him shake a little as he holds you.  “I hurt you. I didn’t know…like an idiot, I …” he just blinks at you and you study his face.

“You’re serious.”  you say, and he nods as he looks away, not wanting to meet your eyes now.  “Why did you date her?” you ask, curious.  “She…I thought she was the nice one and I was wrong about you the whole time….we didn’t last long.” he says softly, grimacing.  “She wasn’t very nice after all.” he just says and you nod.  “Yeah, I got that clear as day, ….it actually makes a lot more sense now.” you sigh. “She always was the one asking about little details, wanting to talk about you…”  

You just frown, realizing you’d both completely been misled. Feeling the need to explain as well, you admit,  “I went to college shortly after that, since we graduated, and I made sure I found out where you were going so I didn’t go there.” you tell him and he looks back at you in surprise.

“What?” His eyes look sad now and you feel a pang in your heart about what might have been.  Tamping down on that, you just nod, tucking his hair behind his ear.  “You were my first love and you’d crushed me.  Of course I wanted to avoid you. I never wanted to see you again.” you say and he blinks up at you.  “I was your first love?” he asks, and you pull away, feeling overwhelmed. 

“Stop running from me.” 

“I’m not running, Yeosang.”

“You are. Don’t pull away from me anymore.”

You grab his face with both hands, forcing him to look at you, making his eyes go wide.  “You want me to tell you how I feel? You were my first love and my first heartbreak and I couldn’t even like anyone else because of you, you asshole.” you say into his face as you hold it.  “I despised you, hated you, I never wanted to see your face again.  I never had a boyfriend in college, I never kissed anyone, I avoided men like the plague. I just was hoping to finally get past it.”

“Then I get a job here and who is right in my face when I start? You.  Kang Yeosang.  THE MAN WHO BROKE MY GODDAMN HEART.”  You finally let go, turning to walk away and this time he doesn’t stop you, just watches you go grab your pajamas.  Yanking the shirt over your head, you turn and take a step back as he approaches you.  “Please don’t play with me….I can’t-” you whimper as he pulls you to him.  “I’m not playing with you, I promise.” he whispers, his lips on your cheek.  

“You’re not?” you ask and he just presses his mouth to yours. He just hums against your lips, his tongue running along the seam so you open to him.  Finding yourself warming to the idea that he might actually be for real, you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your tongue seek his out.  

 “Are you dating that guy, Soobin?” he asks abruptly, breaking the kiss and you can’t help but snort out a laugh.  “No…what the fuck…do you think I’d be doing thiings with you if I was dating-” 

“Why were his hands on you?” he growls out and you tilt your head at him.  “Is that why I was getting death glares?” you ask and he nods, lip curling.  “He was holding your hand, touching your back, your face, your hair.  His hands…I wanted to break them…” he hisses and you can’t help but giggle.  

“It’s funny? This is funny to you?” his eyes flash and you bite your lips.  “Kinda…” you say and he lifts you in one swift motion, tossing you onto the bed as you yelp.  “Yeosang!”  he pulls off his jacket and shirt quickly, then he’s crawling on top of you, pinning you down.  “You want me to break some poor boy's hands?” he asks and your eyes go wide.  “Heavens no, ….poor Soob.” You pout up at him and he wrinkles his nose.  “Soob? Don’t say another man’s name in front of me, let alone a nickname you have for him.” he demands and you feel the sudden urge to poke the lion.  

“Oh…. then I shouldn’t bring up the other tall men that are always over-” his growl paired with his weight between your legs  as he shoves his tongue into your mouth silences you and you wrap your arms around his neck.  His frantic, needy kiss softens gradually, and you feel like you’re melting as you run your fingers through the strands of his hair.   “You were mine too…” you hear him whisper between kisses, then he’s nuzzling you as he pulls back to hover over you.  “Hm?”

“You were my first love.” he says more clearly, his eyes wandering over your face.  “I wish I’d believed you…that I-we could have…if only-” “Shut up.” you tell him and his eyes go wide.  “You deserve that.” you glare at him and he just nods at you, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.  He lets himself fall beside you, pulling you to him so you’re curled up facing each other, side by side.  

“I do.” he whispers, planting kisses along your jaw.  “First love. Sounds so stupid.” you murmur and he nods.  “It does.” He pulls your leg up over his thigh, hand sliding up your bare skin. “Idiot high school kids.” you whisper as his touch makes you shiver.  “Mmm idiots…” he mutters, nuzzling your neck and you can’t help but giggle at him.  “Are you just going to agree with everything I say now?” He pulls back to look at you with a completely serious face.  “Maybe.” is all he says and you throw your head back to laugh loudly.  

“And here I thought you liked me angry…” you tease and a thrill washes over you as his eyes darken.  “Do you want me to get angry with you?” you ask him, and his breathing deepens as he watches you with hooded eyes.  “I want to push you away when I’m angry.” you state attempting to do exactly that, but his hands are gripping you tightly.  “I won’t let you.” he tells you, tilting his head and letting his lips hover over yours.  The sensation of his breath on your lips has your throat dry and you whisper huskily, “Do you realize how wet you’re making me right now?” before you can stop yourself.  

The sound that escapes his throat has you already pulsing, drenching your panties even more.  His mouth tries to claim yours, but you draw back just enough to deter him.  His hand slips down your back, his strong fingers digging into your ass as he holds you against him, his erection against your panties as he grinds himself into you.  “I want to feel you…see you…how hard you are…” you whisper and he whimpers against your lips, his cock throbbing against you. 

 “Do you want to feel how soaking wet I am for you?” you ask boldly, even as your cheeks heat up from your impulsiveness.  “Yes, fuck…please…” he begs and you run your hands over his bare chest, your palms skimming over his nipples, causing him to shudder.  Dipping your hand between your bodies, you unbutton his pants as you run your tongue over his bottom lip.  One of his hands is pulling your nightshirt up, fingers unhooking your bra desperately.  

 “Do you want me?” you ask him and he hums against your mouth, both of you playing this game now.  Lips barely touching, teasing at each other as you grow bolder with every statement, each question.  “I want you so, so much…” he groans, and you let one of your hands slip down, unbuttoning his pants, tugging the zipper down as he draws back to look down at what you’re doing.  His panting increases as you slip your hand into the opening, your fingers slowly taking in his full length through the fabric of his underwear.  

“I want to touch you…” you breathe out, letting your hand delve down to cup him fully and he lets out a long moan.  “I want to feel everything…” you murmur, both of you watching as you pull down the material between you and him.  He takes his hands off you long enough to quickly shove his pants and underwear down, then he’s yanking your nightshirt over your head with your bra.  

Your hands immediately reach for him, one slipping down to cup his sack, the other wrapping around the base of his cock.  The noises coming from him encourage you as you stroke upwards, your eyes taking in his naked body, then flicking up to watch his face contort in pleasure.  Letting your thumb run over the tip, you can’t help but gasp as the wetness leaks from him.  His hand is gripping your ass tightly, as if he’s holding on for dear life, his hips jerking a little as you guide your hand back down.  “I want to make you feel like you make me feel….” you tell him and his head jerks up at your words.  He finally gives in and takes your mouth with his, tiny whines coming from his throat as you gently knead his sensitive balls.  

“Can you…cum like this?” you ask between kisses and the choked laugh he lets out has you pulling back from his mouth.  His words are clipped as  he says, “It’s taking- everything I have NOT to cum right now- FUCK-” The way his voice is shaking, the vein in his neck standing out has you trembling in excitement, feeling powerful.  “Yeosang…I want you so deep inside of me…” you whisper and he shudders, the hand on your ass grabbing ahold of your panties.  

You let out a shocked yelp as he just tears them with a yank, throwing the useless garment aside as he pulls your hand from him.  His mouth swallows your whine at the motion, but then he’s pressing against you, his hand cupping your naked breast.  “You’re fucking killing me-” he growls, his arm around your waist tightening, then he’s rolling on his back.  You straddle him as he lifts his hips, grinding  himself against your aching core. His eyes close at the sensation of your heat against him and he lets out a tiny little whine as you slide along him, your moisture coating the underside of his length.  

“Fuck…don’t stop doing that…” he murmurs, grabbing your hips to urge you on. “I need you so much…Yeosang….I…” you moan, gasping as he opens his eyes to look up at you.  It almost undoes you, the lust, the need swirling in his intense depths.  The emotion that washes over you threatens to suffocate, almost smothering you.  Mixed with the intensity of his physical touch, you find yourself shaking from how vulnerable you feel with him.

“I don’t want to be just someone you mess around with.” you whisper in his ear. You lift yourself, placing your hands on his chest so you can look down at him.  “I can get that anywhere…I can find someone else-” The way his eyes darken has you halting your words as he sits up, yanking you against him.  Grabbing the back of your neck, he pulls your face to his. “Noone else can touch you.” he growls against your mouth, his angry, jealous eyes searching yours.  “Promise me.” he demands and you frown even as you moan from his touch.  

“Yeosang…then what am I to you? Tell me-” “You’re mine.  MINE.” he nips your lip, his tongue following up the bite.  “Does that mean you're mine as well?” you ask him softly, and his eyes seem to intensify even more as you move against him.  His fingers dig into your asscheek as he lifts you, his breathing ragged as he positions you over his cock.  You grab onto his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself, feeling his body shake under you as you stretch around him.  You can’t keep the soft cries from escaping as he stretches you, letting you take your time to sink down onto him.  

“Are you? Are you mine, Yeosang?” your voice shakes as you repeat the question and he moans as you seat yourself completely on him.  “Yes, fuck yes, I’m yours.” his husky voice manages and you quiver at the ache of how deep he’s buried inside of you.  “Mine,” you whisper into his ear.  The rumble of desire from his chest as you rise then fall onto him, slowly rolling your hips to test what feels good, has you already pulsing around him.  “You feel-oh god…you feel so good- I can’t even think-” he stammers as you roll your hips to see how he responds. His hands clench on your hips as he bites his lip, and you just watch his gorgeous face as you try to control your emotions. 

“Yeosang…” you whisper shakily and he tips his head back to watch you, taking you in as you ride him slowly.  “Beautiful…...” he whispers back, hand splaying over your back as his mouth captures your nipple.  The cry you let out has him sucking a little harder, drawing out a yelp at the sting.  Your fingernails dig into his shoulders as he gives the same treatment to the other stiff bud and you increase the pace, trying to quench the burning need deep within your womb.  

“Oh god…oh god…feels…feels-so….” you cry out, quickening your pace, the wet sound of your bodies meeting intensifies your pleasure.  “Yeah?... You like it? ….You like- riding my cock?” he rasps out and you cry out in response, his dark eyes not leaving you as you hold onto him, riding him harder and faster with every word he says.  “Love it…oh god-you’re going- ..t-tt-to…make me….oh -oh.” you shudder, your walls fluttering around him and he bites his lip as he watches you.  “That’s it-fuck…oh fuck…come around my cock…that’s it…that’s it..come…come- come for me….” he is urging you, and you scream out his name as his voice tips you over the edge.  

You clench around him tightly, your whole body spasming as you arch back and he has to hold onto you to steady you as you quake from the impact of the orgasm.  Before you’re even through it, he flips you over quickly, not even slipping out of you as he continues to thrust into you.  “Oh god oh fuck!” you scream, holding onto him desperately as he starts to control the pace.  “Fuck, I..I want to be gentle…but …fuck-I don’t know- if-” his voice is shaking and you grasp his hair in your fingers, tugging it harshly as you look up at him.  

“You said I’m yours-” you manage around the intensity of the way he’s plunging into you, “make me …yours-fuck me, Yeosang!” The whimper this statement extracts from him encourages you, and you can’t help but urge him on.  “Y-your cock feels so good-oh-! F-f-fuck me…make me feel it- t-t-tomorrow-make it so I ACHE when you’re not-h-here–” his whines and moans are mixing with your words as he drops down on you, pinning one of your arms as he yanks your leg up to drive himself deeper.  

“So tight-” he moans out, droplets of sweat beading on his forehead as he looks down between you, to where your bodies meet, to watch himself pound into you. You push the strands of hair hanging down back on his forehead and lean up to bring your mouth to his, swallowing his moans with your own.  You’re both sweaty, messy, the noises coming from both of you are completely animalistic at this point.  

You can only hold onto him and shake as he controls the pace, and you know he’s getting close as his whole body starts to jerk and occasionally lose the steady rhythm he’s set. You can feel your own climax creeping up, the tight sensation in your abdomen threatening to snap at any moment.  “Cum- cum …inside-” you manage between your cries and he grits his teeth as you shake beneath him. His moans turn to cries as he watches you, your lips parted as you squeeze your eyes shut and your back arches.  “Oh god oh god oh god-” you start to scream out over and over, soaking him as you clamp like a vise around him.  “Cum with me-oh please-Yeosang! PLEASE -YEOSANG!” you beg and he lets out a deep groan as his body jerks, his hips thrusting him deep within you.  You can feel the flood of his seed filling you as he pulls out slightly just to slam back into you.

“Ah fuck-f-f-fffuck-” he whines as you wrap your legs around him and tip your hips, making sure to hold him inside of you.  You lift your hips and drop them, then lift again and his eyes fly open as he gasps.  “Oh -f-f-” he shudders, and before you can do it again his lips capture yours for a deep, slow kiss.  You let your hips fall and your legs relax, falling to either side of him.  

His breathing is heavy as he nuzzles into your neck, his body relaxing into yours and you wrap your arms around him, rubbing his back as you both catch your breath. You let out a small whine as he withdraws from you, but then he’s pulling you right back into his arms as he pulls up the covers over you both.  “Mm…” he just murmurs as he presses his lips to your head, and you look up at him sleepily.  

“Is it alright if I stay the night?” he asks you, and you frown at him.  “No.  Please leave.” he just blinks at you as you bite your lips, trying not to laugh.  “Okay.” he says, going to sit up, but you grab him and quickly pull him back, a smirk on his face.  “Jerk, you win this time.” you mumble, and he chuckles as he lets you curl back into him.  “Of course you can stay.” you tell him, looking up at him as he holds you.  

“Yes.” he says, and you give him an odd look, confused.  “Yes?” you ask and he nods, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose.  “Before you even ask, yes.  Yes, I meant everything I said.”  He brushes your hair back and presses a kiss to your lips.  “I don’t want you to worry for a moment about that.”  The relief that washes over you at him telling you that has you tearing up, and you duck your head into his neck to try to cover it.  

“Hey….” he whispers, pulling back, tipping your head up.  “Hey…shhh it’s alright.”  “Ugh…sorry, I don’t know what-” you sniffle, trying to laugh but he’s glaring down at you, quieting you.  “Don’t you dare apologize…tonight was…a lot.  For both of us.” he sighs, his leg slipping between yours as you both wrap around each other.  “Let’s sleep for now…in the morning we can talk, or we can do whatever you want.” 

Totally worn out from the events of the evening, you let your eyelids droop as his voice continues, but you just hear the steady beat of his heart against your ear as he holds you, drifting off to a deep sleep.  

[vrilgothic]

Excerpt from an interview with Ted Kaczynski (aka Unabomber) in which he recounts his day to day life in the forest:

BVD (the interviewer): What was an average day like for you in Lincoln?

TJK (Ted Kaczynski): That’s a very difficult question to answer because I don’t know that there was an average day. My activities varied so much according to the season and according to the tasks I had before me on a given day. But I will describe a representative day…

TJK: …Well, let’s take a day in January, and let’s suppose I wake up about 3:00 a.m. to find that snow is falling. I start a fire in my stove and put a pot of water on. When the water comes to a boil I dump a certain quantity of rolled oats into it and stir them for a few minutes until they are cooked. Then I take the pot off the stove, add a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and some milk—made from powdered milk.

While the oats are cooling I eat a piece of cold boiled rabbit meat.

Afterward I eat the oats. I sit for a few minutes before the open door of the stove watching the fire burn down, then I take my clothes off again, get back into bed, and go to sleep. When I wake up, the sky is just starting to get light. I get out of bed and dress myself quickly because it’s cold in the cabin. By the time I’m dressed there’s a little more light and I can see that it’s no longer snowing and the sky is clear. Because of the fresh snow it should be a good day for rabbit hunting. So I take my old, beat-up, single-shot 22 down from the hooks on the wall. I put my little wooden cartridge-box, containing 16 cartridges, in my pocket, with a couple of books of matches wrapped in plastic bags and a sheath knife on my belt in case I have to build a fire in an emergency. Then I put on my snowshoes and take off. First there’s a hard climb to get up on top of the ridge, and then a level walk of a mile or so to get to the open forest of lodgepole pines where I want to hunt. A little way into the pines I find the tracks of a snowshoe hare. I follow the trail around and around through its tangled meanderings for about an hour. Then suddenly I see the black eye and the black-tipped ears of an otherwise white snowshoe hare. It’s usually the eye and the black-tipped ears you notice first. The bunny is watching me from behind the tangled branches and green needles of a recently-fallen pine tree. The rabbis is about 40 feet away, but it’s alert and watching me, so I won’t try to get closer. However, I have to maneuver for an angle to shoot from, so that I can have a clear shot through the tangle of branches—even a slender twig can deflect a .22 bullet enough to cause a miss. To get that clear shot I have to lie down in the snow in an odd position and use my knee as a rest for the rifle barrel. I line up the sights on the rabbit’s head, at a point just behind the eye…hold steady…ping! The rabbit is clipped through the head.

Such a shot ordinarily kills the rabbit instantly, but the animal’s hind legs usually kick violently for a few seconds so that it bounces around in the snow. When the rabbit stops kicking I walk up to it and see that it’s quite dead. I say aloud “Thank you, Grandfather Rabbit”– Grandfather Rabbit is a kind of demigod I’ve invented who is the tutelary spirit of all the snowshoe rabbits. I stand for a few minutes looking around at the pure-white snow and the sunlight filtering through the pine trees. I take in the silence and the solitude. It’s good to be here. Occasionally I’ve found snowmobile tracks along the crest of the main ridge, but in these woods where I am now, once the big-game hunting season is over, in all my years in this country I’ve never seen a human footprint other than my own. I take one of the noosed cords out of my pocket. For convenience in carrying I put the noose around the rabbit’s neck and wrap the other end of the cord around my mittened hand. Then I go looking for the trail of another rabbit.

When I have three rabbits I head home. On arriving there I’ve been out some six or seven hours. My first task is to peel off the skins of the rabbits and remove their guts. Their livers, hearts, kidneys, brains, and some assorted scraps I put in a tin can. I hang the carcasses up under the shelter, then run down to my root cellar to fetch some potatoes and a couple of parsnips. When these have been washed and other chores performed—splitting some wood maybe, or collecting snow to melt for drinking water—I put the pot on the boil, and at the appropriate time add some dried wild greens, the parsnips, the potatoes, and the livers and other internal organs of the rabbits. By the time it’s all cooked, the sky is getting dark. I eat my stew by the light of my kerosene lamp. Or, if I want to economize, maybe I open the door of the stove and eat by the light of the fire. I finish off with a half a handful of raisins. I’m tired but at peace. I sit for a while in front of the open door of the stove gazing at the fire. I may read a little. More likely I’ll just lie on my bed for a time watching the firelight flicker on the walls. When I get sleepy I take off my clothes, get under the blankets, and go to sleep.

BVD: I envy you, too … While work, that does sound wonderful.

Freedom and autonomy. No time clock to punch, whether literal or figurative. But let me shift topic. You just mentioned sleep. Was your bed, or bunk, comfortable?

TJK: Well, it was comfortable enough for me.