#my ideas are too much for my own self
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what do you mean i can’t rush my writing and i have to take my time with it?
#the fics that are being held hostage because of how slow i write#i wanna give you guys some good content but i’m so slow#my ideas are too much for my own self#writing them down is hard okay??#zsakuva#writers on tumblr
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i read a fic that changed my brain chemistry and now i can't stop thinking about a universe where amy works for eggman... and metamy ensues. naturally. you know the drill by now. also roboticized sonic theory because it makes it more deliciously potent.
DESERT ROSE: A prickly young girl with terrifying strength and a love for the finer things in life, like frilly dresses and deadly high-powered machinery. She thinks maintenance is a romantic couples activity. Not only is the "desert rose" highly poisonous, it can't really be considered a rose, can it…? However, its resilience means it could bloom even in a rusty scrapyard...
notes for the au under cut!
rose believes metal sonic when he says he is the original. he hasn't told her what happened. that he failed to save her. that he failed to save everyone. that there was a time when he was organic like she is. he just said "the other sonic is the copy" and she said "okay! let's kill him :)"
metal sonic is constantly torn between guilt and adoration at who rose has grown into. she became so much stronger. strong enough to protect herself - strong enough, even, to protect him (if he ever let her, that is. he might not be a hero any more but it's burned into his core forever that > KEEP AMY ROSE SAFE is a KEY goal.) on the other hand... he feels like he remembers someone different. a girl who loved animals and flowers and sunshine. who would give her life to protect everything she's now destroying. but his memories are so fuzzy...
i'm not so sure that amy would be big on programming and constructing machines herself, but she's always eager to "test" them... and it goes without saying she is frankly terrifying when she wants to be and is a beast on the battlefield
what a helpful young lady! im so glad i didn't just kill her!! - eggman probably.
"wait if rose calls metal sonic 'sonic' then. what does she call sonic" -> she calls him faker. copycat. knockoff. off-brand. etc. in short, she doesn't acknowledge him by name
i have the feeling that metal sonic is a bit more... enthusiastic? i guess? about his mission in this universe. it's not "ME VS. EVERYONE WHO COULD HAVE LOVED ME HAD I NOT FAILED" its "ROSE AND I VS. THEM" don't get me wrong he's furious and undead and vengeful and jealous and still insane. but. i think rose helps jog the vaguest of memories of who he used to be? unfortunately the person he used to be is a hero so i also imagine he's ever so slightly more conflicted in this universe... ("the old amy wouldn't have liked this, would the old me feel the same?")
codependence is my favorite flavor so i imagine metal really, really, REALLY appreciates having rose around. someone who is kind to him. someone who believes that he used to be more than this, and treats him like maybe he isn't worth less after all... i imagine if sonic ever tried recruiting amy, metal would go BALLISTIC. "YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE. YOU CAN'T HAVE HER TOO." she's mine -> she's my (partner) she's my (memory) she's my (friend) she's my (tether) she's my (hope) she's my (rose)
metal sonic is. (gestures) metal. and he lives in a metal box on a metal ship surrounded by metal debris. but down the hall there is a single remaining rose. and in this state she is perfectly preserved. nothing can hurt her. eggman can't hurt her if she's on his payroll, huh...?
i can't put it into words properly (and ive tried) but the idea of "killer metal robot (whose objective is to destroy natural life) falls in love with a gentle girl named rose" makes me start frothing at the mouth. just shut up. why don't you hold his hand too. and he can't FEEL it like he should . and it hurts. and it's infuriating. but he Can tell that her pulse is higher than average and the temperature of her cheeks are strangely high. and he supposes that can comfort him for now.
i feel a little "if i had to choose between the world and sonic i would choose sonic" vibe.
this took me so incredibly long so if it flops im dropping out of college.
i wanna update these designs later, these are just the beginning concepts for the au :)
#sonic the hedgehog#metal sonic#amy rose#sonic#metamy#this took me so long. i spent two nights up until 6 or 7 am working until my hands started shaking. but its done. worth#i... truly cant say much more rn#ive got another comic sketched out but i cant draw any moere tonight i can barely type i eed to go to slepe#toxic metamy . toxic metamy. toxic for everyone else i mean theyre fine'#probably mostly.#i miss queue#my nyart#if this flops ill cry and kill myself forever. /j#btw the idea came from the fic... but these concepts r my own#of course eggho/gs going around inspired me a bit too wink wonk.#hha almost forgot the binary text in the bg of img 3 is:#'this is super self indulgent.'#heheheh#desert rose au#If you call him “Metal Sonic” in front of Rose she'll break your fingers. After all he is the original Sonic the Hedgehog!#<- from the notes but didnt fit so eh
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Reflection: A Retelling of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”
The mirror is a gift from the dwarves. Its frame of hammered gold is wrought with delicately-crafted birds and beasts, fruit and flowers. Its silver-backed surface, unlike those created by human craftsman, shows a true reflection.
The queen loves to gaze at herself in the mirror. It tells her that she is beautiful—skin like milk, hair like midnight, eyes as blue as a crystalline lake. She is young, healthy, graceful, charming—perfection in human form. Truly a queen worthy of this kingdom.
Then, one day, the mirror’s message changes. It shows that the queen has lines around her eyes, sunspots on her nose, wicked glints of silver in her night-black hair. The queen does all she can to hide the damage, spends hours before the mirror with cosmetics and concealers. To the rest of the world, the queen is as perfect as ever.
Yet every morning, the mirror tells the truth.
Worst of all, her husband has a little daughter—barely fourteen years old—who grows lovelier by the day. Every morning, the mirror says that before long, those who worshiped the queen’s beauty will transfer their devotion to the princess—and will be right to do so.
The queen's beauty would not seem so tarnished if the princess were not there for comparison. The queen tries to send the princess to an isolated estate—tells her husband it is better for the girl to grow up away from the corrupting influences of the court. But the girl is too dear to her father. She wastes away with homesickness, until her father the king orders her to come home for the sake of her health.
The queen tries neglecting the girl in ways the king won't notice—refusing to let her wash with good soap, denying her a maid, forbidding her fashionable clothes and hairstyles. Through it all, the mirror tells her that the girl’s beauty shines out brighter than ever.
Before long, the queen spends hours by the mirror each day, locked in a futile endeavor to restore what is lost forever. One moonlit night, she finds a dagger, and considers plunging it into her heart just to end this ceaseless torment, but the morning shows her a better path.
She will never be perfect, nor make the princess less so—but she can destroy perfection.
It would be easy to take this dagger to where the princess sleeps and shove it through her perfect heart, but the queen doesn't dare to mar her own beauty with blood-stained hands.
She gives the dagger to a loyal huntsman. He takes the girl into the forest—and returns holding a small, bloody heart.
That night before the mirror, the queen's smile makes her glow with a new kind of beauty.
*
People often tell the princess she is beautiful. She believes them, for she has never seen an ugly face. Old Sal’s missing tooth is an open door into her smile. The chambermaid’s freckles make a daytime constellation. The little stable boy’s one good eye glitters green as an emerald. Her stepmother owns a beautiful mirror, but the princess barely gazes at it. Why would she waste time examining her own familiar face in a world with so many other lovely faces to gaze upon?
One day in early spring, she asks to go berrying in the forest beyond the castle, as she once did with her mother. To her surprise, the queen permits it—the queen rarely allows the princess anything that might be a luxury. She even sends one of her huntsmen as protection.
In the eaves of the forest, the princess finds strawberries not far from the path, and she hastens to gather as many as she can. She invites the huntsman to join her, but he stands statue-like at the edge of the clearing, always on guard. Not wanting him to go without, the princess brings the berries to him, and offers him the largest, sweetest one.
As she does, she gazes at his face. Scars make mountain ranges along his cheeks and brow. His hair is edged with silver. The lines of his face are solid as stone. His deep gray eyes hold storm clouds.
“Oh, my,” the princess says in awe. “You are beautiful.”
The huntsman’s face disappears as he hides it in one of his hands. “I can’t,” he says, his voice rough with unshed tears. “I must betray my queen."
His other hands darts to the side, quick as a serpent, and the silver flash of a blade disappears into the undergrowth.
The huntsmen places both of his hands on the princess’ shoulders and crouches to look into her face. “You must run. The queen wants you dead. If you stay at the palace, she will find a way to kill you. You must flee into the forest and never return.”
“The forest?” the princess asks in terror. She has often wandered in the eaves, but she has never dared the strange terrors that are said to lurk in its interior.
“There is nothing there that can harm such innocence,” the huntsman says. “You will find shelter.” He turns her around and pushes her toward the depths of the forest. “Now run! As fast and as far as you can!”
The shadows of the forest embrace her, and the flowers make a path at her feet. She crosses shallow rivers, climbs rocky slopes, winds through twisted groves of trees. She couldn’t return home even if she wanted to.
She had not been blind. She had seen something like ugliness in the queen’s face whenever they were alone. But hatred? Murder?
She nearly collapses with grief, but through the trees, she sees a wisp of smoke. A chimney. A roof over a tumbledown cottage. The princess runs through the open door, collapses on the floor, and is glad to find a safe place to weep.
Her father will think her dead, and she will not be there to comfort him. She will never again see any of the beautiful faces that fill the palace. The hundreds of hidden details that made the castle home are forever out of her reach. The huntsman saved her, but to what end? A lifetime of loneliness and misery? Is this truly a better fate than the quick death of a dagger through the heart?
She opens her eyes. She has looked too long at the sorrows in her heart. She must find solace from without.
She gazes upon the cottage.
And sees seven beautiful faces.
*
The dwarves love their princess. She is beautiful, not only because of her face, but because of the way her soul shines out through it. She is endlessly beautiful because she sees the beauty in everyone and everything.
There never was a girl so selfless. Her every waking moment is spent filling their days with a million small comforts. The cottage has never been so clean. The food has never been so lovingly prepared. There is nothing she would not do for them, and in return, they devote their lives to her service.
She needs their protection. One so naturally kind and innocent can’t recognize when strangers might have ill intent. One day, after being out in the woods, the seven dwarves return to the cottage to find the princess nearly strangled by a set of stays. When they revive her, she tells them of a ragged old woman (with such beautiful hands!) who asked for food and water and then repaid her generosity by giving a nearly-fatal gift. The eldest of the dwarves caught a glimpse of the stranger’s retreat, and saw enough of her form to suspect the queen.
The dwarves keep a closer guard on the princess, but six months later, a few minutes go by when all seven of them are away from home. They return to find the princess nearly killed by a poisoned comb in her hair. The story she tells is similar to the last one—an old woman in need of help repaid their kind princess with a gift meant to kill.
After that, the princess is never alone. The dwarf on guard duty always has the envied task, so lovely is it to be in her presence. A year, then two, go by with no signs of danger.
Then one winter morning, after a night of birthday feasting, all seven of the dwarves sleep late. The princess rises at her usual time, hoping to fix them a holiday breakfast. By the time the dwarves stumble out of bed, they find the princess sprawled across the kitchen floor—cold, pale and lifeless, with a poisoned apple in her hand.
They despise themselves for having failed her, but their love for the princess drives them to serve her the only way they can—by laying her body to rest. The cold, hard earth won’t take her, and they can’t bear to hide her away in the realm of death. Knowing that decay will not touch one so innocent, they place her in a coffin of glass and lay her in their garden, where her beauty can brighten the world in death as it did in life.
They keep a constant vigil, lost in loving grief. They ought to have known she would end this way. This is the fate of all innocence in this dark and sinful world—to be destroyed by wickedness. Even as they see this truth, they know that it is wrong. The world should not be this way, but what can they do? They wish and pray for better, but they can’t hope. How can innocence ever overcome such evil?
In the spring, when the last snow melts and the first snowbells bloom, the dwarves see movement in the woods beyond their cottage. A prince approaches on a snow-white horse. He is ruler of this forest and its mysterious ways—a king of kings, even more beautiful than their princess. His face shines with a wisdom that does nothing to defile the innocence of his heart.
He leaps from his horse, approaches the coffin, raises the lid, and takes the cold hand of the princess between his.
“Beloved,” he says, “arise.”
In his words and actions, the dwarves find the answer to the riddle they have pondered in their long vigil of grief. In a world of wickedness, the salvation of Innocence is Love.
The princess opens her eyes. Takes a breath. Sits up and gazes upon the world she loves, upon the one who loved her back to life. Something of the prince’s wisdom is reflected in her, so that her beauty is almost painful to behold.
The dwarves rejoice, and the princess rejoices with them. She kisses each one atop the head, but does not release the hand of her prince.
Eager to serve one who served them so well, the dwarves cook her breakfast, and she eats with even more enthusiasm than she showed in her former life. Yet when the meal ends, she stands with her prince at the threshold of the cottage.
“I must return to my father,” the princess says.
The dwarves protest. What of the queen? What of the danger?
The princess looks at her prince with eyes full of love. “I have nothing to fear.”
*
The king rejoices at his daughter’s return—he has thought her dead for so many years. Grief has aged and weakened him, but there is beauty in his face that grows brighter with every minute he spends in the presence of the princess.
The princess tells him of her troubles since she went away, and the king is horrified by her words. “I knew my wife had lost her reason,” he says, “but not her heart! She must pay for her crimes!”
He moves toward the door as though he will administer justice this moment.
The prince stops him with a gentle hand upon his chest. “There is no need.”
*
The queen gazes at herself in the mirror. She never looks anywhere else. If there is a world beyond the edges of its frame, she has forgotten it. She sees only her own face, searches for the remaining scraps of beauty, tries desperately to erase the blemishes that grow ever more hateful with the passing of years.
Another face appears in the reflection—a face the queen thought she had destroyed long ago. It is lovelier than ever. The queen hides her face in her hands so she can not see the painful beauty of the princess.
“Come away from there,” the princess says. “Gaze with me upon the other beauties of the world.”
“And lose myself?” the queen shrieks. “That is what you have always wanted—to destroy my very self! To take all the honor and beauty that should be mine!”
“I wish to save you,” the princess says. “Come away.”
“Never!” the queen screams, clutching the mirror in two white-knuckled hands. “I have everything I need right here! You can’t take it from me!”
The princess touches the queen’s shoulder. The queen screams and shrinks away, hiding her face once more in her hands.
A man’s voice—painful in its beauty—says, “Beloved, she has made her choice.”
At long last, they leave. The queen looks in the mirror and sees no face but her own. No greater beauty remains nearby to shame her.
In the confines of her world’s silver surface, she is fairest of all.
*
The queen is locked away in the prison of her choosing.
The king stays to do what good he can for his kingdom, and the princess promises to return for him after he has fulfilled his purpose.
The prince places the princess on his snow-white horse, and they travel once more past the cottage of the dwarves, who are glad to see her so beautiful and beloved.
At last, the prince brings the princess to his kingdom at the heart of the forest.
The beauty she finds there is beyond words.
#the bookshelf progresses#fairy tale retellings#snow white and the seven dwarves#a completely rewritten version (as best i could)#sorry if it doesn't live up to the hype#i was going to write my snow white retelling with tolkien-esque elves and dwarves#but instead decided to work with my idea that the magic mirror is actually just the queen's own reflection#making her go mad with too much self-examination#and then it turned into an allegory#but look if you're a christian fairy tale author you're allowed the occasional clunky allegory it's like the law
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subjugate your shame (uncropped under the cut)
i like yasu's face too much here to not post it uncropped....
#beatrice the golden witch#beatrice umineko#sayo yasuda#yasuda sayo#umineko#umineko no naku koro ni#wtc#when they cry#umitober#jichanart#originally i was gonna colour this more normally but i wasn't enjoying it so i gave up and did something simpler#i like the lineart here too much to not finish this one#anyway um. about beatrice and yasu's dual roles of master and servant#yasu who is both heir and the true master of the family/island#but who is inescapably ruled by her circumstances and blood. and also literally working as a maid#beatrice whose presence is ambiguous but inescapable on the island. who holds the family's wealth and decides who may live and die#but also literally trapped on the island and is very much another possession of the ushiromiyas#who is also furniture like the rest of the servants#yasu as beatrice's master is obviously about yasu knowing the full truth and using it for her own purposes#conquering the legend of the witch and making it work for her instead#but i guess also (my personal wish)#the idea of yasu overcoming the beatrice that represents her shame over her body and her blood#hence the title#yuri as a metaphor for self acceptance (once again)#and what a fine master yasu would be for beatrice....#after being mistreated by kinzo and abandoned by battler#how cold and cruel and loving#that a mere maid would rise above her station to put the witch beatrice in her place....#(i am lost in yuri delusions)#now you see why i couldn't abandon this wip? i have too much to say about it....
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I can promise you one thing: no matter the AU, Dottie will always serve cunt.
ALWAYS.
And as a Lannister of Lannisport? even more so.
#nemo sketches#my art#my oc#asoiaf#Dorothea Lannister#wip#I am SO STOCKED for this#you have no idea#SO SO SO STOCKED#i was already working on my own arthuriana/asoiaf self-indulgent AU#so now instead I have a whole ASOIAF AU#and boy oh boy#<3#Dorothea Starrick#Am still unsure about the headdress because it kinda ties too much with the IRL time period#And am unsure if to keep the fur white or make it ermin-like#but now I am working on Shay so I will still have time to think about it
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✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D
Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#doh#give me more glam plates so all of my doh don't have to be on the same plate SE you cowards!!!#so funny story: i didn't want to craft at all#and then i came back from a 6 month break and started doing a bit of doh on my alt#and i really liked it#so i stopped playing my alt and went back to aur and now she has full doh/dol LOL#the quests are so cute i really enjoyed how different they are from the combat ones#and i love the doh/dol tribal quests (the ones i've done haven't done all of them yet)#they're a nice change of pace#i just find it funny that i went from basically combat only - kill kill kill - to “give me a second i need to make this thing rq”#retirement arc in full swing#but nah it makes sense for aur to be self-sufficient#she's not an expert at anything doh-related but she knows enough to keep her stuff maintained#she has a whole cooking arc that rearranges her relationship with food and family after feeling for years like food is for fuel only#and she makes her own earrings#one of the reasons she has as many piercings in her ears#(not possible in screenshots since i don't have the skill or the knowledge to add them to her ear mod just pretend they're there!)#and a piercing in her navel is because she did them herself as a way to regain bodily autonomy after defecting from garlemald#she fixes her friends and her partner's gear too when needed#also please perceive nutkin chilling in the background i love that little munchkin so much you have no idea
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I fucked up
#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment to a fic that is longer than the fic 😭😭😭#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment that is longer than the 10000 ao3 character limit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm so so embarrassed right now. This is why I've been struggling to write comments for a year now.#It's because every time I really like a fic I end up with an essay that takes hours to days to make#I'm so sorry to all the authors I've neglected commenting because of this I swear I'll try to do better in the future.#But right now I'm miserably failing. Man I put myself in a mess#Can someone please reassure me on this I'm feeling really insecure and I don't want to make the author uncomfortable.#Or genuinely tell me it's too much if it's too much#Fun fact the first comment I've ever written I was 16 and never ended up commenting because it breached the character limit too.#And 16 me was too much of an anxious mess to post it. And I probably still am#I'm so sorry ray/emma actors au fic I loved you so much.#Please don't ask what the fic is it's a relatively old one and this is already wholly embarrassing by its own for me#But to give you an idea of the proportions I'm talking about a 3k+ comment for a 2k fic ಥ_ಥ#random rambles#To all the authors my lack of self control has kept me from commenting to their fics: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm
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more
#ran out of tags LOLLLL#and then .at least on fords end . be able to witness the moment of collapse . in which all his ‘righteous’ feelings r sucked out like a#vacuum or some star collapsing on itself bc not only is he like . having to come to terms w his own flaws#and the insidious like . stomach churning guilt associated w that but also the panic and fear (realized#w the portal or bills deception) into looking outwards and having that silent ‘oh’ moment where its like yeah#thats why he left . why wouldnt he#GRAAAAA LIKE I WANT DESTRUCTIONNN I WANT THINGS 2 FALL DOWN SO HE CAN FINALLY REBUILDDD#let me innn😭😭😭😭💥let me in to the self reflection those thirty years😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥#who did you meet that reminded you of himm😭😭😭who wronged u in similar ways who gave u a reason to be betterrr whoo what did you see#and when you finally came back what did u FEEEL .. and dont lie and say there wasnt that wisp of nostalgia laced arnd ur heart#girl…..talk to me focus on me u know me u know these things#stanford pines#gravity falls#sry for taggingn these i need it for my own blog i prmmy i need to reference this . i will#ok im back bc i read fords end snd i want to rip my hair out bc fiddleford has such good ‘collapse’ imagery too#like we liteally got the soc of the blind eye videos . HIS DOCUMENTSRYYY#oohhhits rly over for us (me) now (and stanford and fiddleford.and stanley bc i feel bad excluding him💔)#only talking ab ford bc i need a reason to connect it to stan bc im sick in tbe brain and i need the familial conflict aspect too#but fidds .. ur misery does not go unnoticed by me ‼️#anyways. ik i said idc if they didnt get back together but the beauty of multiplicity is also liking the idea#HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHlike whenb im over the conflict im like dude they went through so much tgether it must be nice to find urself in the#familiarity again. uugughh.AUUUH./
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 ����𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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if you're wondering where i am rn im thinking about this extremely fucked up moment again
IDK MAN its so incredibly fucked up cause there's this shared doom of 'im going to lose my humanity and everyone i love and itll become a beautiful story but it could turn people against me just from me being alive and even if it doesn't ill lose them anyway and it could make me act out of sorts to keep them here and make them stay and that human need will warp who i am contrarily making me less human' like they were cooking w this. cooking a miserable miserable misery soup but cooking
#chapter 200#xxxholic#this is one of my favourite of the 'watanuki has to do something that is a direct metaphor for his own doom' chapters#its also notable cause this is specifically abt his human mortal connections#he has so much understandable yuuko trauma but theres smth so fucked abt like the messy unstable feeling of becoming functionally immortal#while losing touch in a sense with the world and people around you#becoming something different#while already spending his entire life FEELING alienated already#its like. this idea that hes too green and too mortal to be able to deal with anything easier with a small sense of distance like yuuko#altho she didnt have it easy either#but knowing every day passing will make him less human#its crazy idk its so fucking sad#'i feel that i was human but ive forgotten' note to self to make canary say that too
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idk sometimes seeing all the hate gege gets makes me sad. :( like I know alot of it is jokes/memes, but there are some people that are very serious and weird about it
#praying the extra volume content thats releasing in afew days doesnt make the fandom too crazy#like seeing ppl already getting ready to hate bc theres supposedly epilogue stuff w/ ozawa and theyre saying geges gonna ruin itafushi ????#pls dont let this become like what happened with the final volume of mha#gege get behind me-#when ppl get mad and say he doesnt know how to write his own characters :(#.....like have u ever considered that perhaps your interpretation of the character just doesnt match with canon#which is fine bc its all fiction and people can interpret however they want#but its so frustrating when they insult the actual creator for how they write the character#like ???? thats their own oc im pretty sure they know them better than you 💀#idk i think it has a lot to do with hcs that become almost universally accepted by the fandom people forget that they are hcs#ppl talking about gege like hes some irl villain playing 5dchess to make his readers suffer and everything he doee is of malicious intent#and then u go read an actual interview with him and its like: my pen name (gege akutami) basically means useless trash . i hate myself and#have self esteem issues so i have no idea why people actually like and support my lame ideas and cant believe it. thank u so much for all#the support it really means alot. ok now back to self deprecating#😭😭😭
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Imagine crawling under the Horned King's robe to cuddle with him ... It doesn't necessarily have to be a sexual situation (though it could possibly lead to that if you're both up to it - I mean does he even wear anything else underneath there?👀), but could also simply be a tender moment of both physical and emotional closeness.
Author's note: This was originally supposed to be an imagine at best or simply just me yelling out my thoughts about the Horned King, but somehow it kind of accidentally turned into a short story. Things you do at 5am I guess. This man probably has to much control over my mind at this point (not that I'm complaining).
The Horned King x Reader - Cuddling under his robe
It's cold this evening, though this is not something particularly unusual. The wind is howling around the walls of the castle, and you're snuggling a little closer to the Horned King as you're resting in your shared bed together. You feel his grip around your waist tighten ever so slightly, when suddenly an idea sparks up in your mind. Maybe there is an even better way to escape the cold than just pressing yourself up against him ...
He tilts his head, but doesn't say anything yet when you wriggle yourself out of his embrace and crawl towards the foot of the bed. You hesitate for a moment, but eventually decide to lift the hem of his robe.
"What are you doing, my dear?"
You can hear mild confusion in his voice, and stop in your motion for a moment, one of your hands pulling up the fabric a little while the other is resting on his calf.
"Just trying to escape the cold ..."
With that, you lean forwards and start crawling under the king's robe. The thick fabric holds off any light, so you let your hands follow the contours of his body as you move upwards, careful not to put your weight onto him in an uncomfortable way. You can feel a smile forming on your face as you finally stick your head through the collar - which luckily is wide enough to fit both of you.
"I thought it might be warmer underneath here, and I have to say that I'm not disappointed. But I also just wanted to be close to you ..."
The Horned King's gaze turns soft - over time you've learned to read his more subtle facial expressions - , and when you lean forwards a little to press a kiss onto his lipless mouth, you can feel him eagerly reciprocate the motion, to the best of his abilities at least. He lets out a content sigh as you rub your nose against his cheek and wraps his arms around you, resting his hands on your back. You allow your body to relax completely as you lay down on top of his own, and although he's not giving off any body warmth, you relish the feeling of being pressed up against his bare skin.
"This is perfect ..."
You mumble as you're nuzzling your face into his neck. Your eyelids are starting to get heavier as he gently rubs your back, and a yawn escapes you.
"Rest now, my dear."
Your king's soothing voice still reaches you as your consciousness starts to drift off into the shadows.
"Rest well. I will not be going anywhere right now ..."
#I haven't written any proper (fan)fiction in ages I have actually no idea where the hell this came from#it was such a good feeling though! I think I usually overthink way too much about the build-up of the scenario#or whether I'm portraying the characters' personalities properly that I'm too anxious to actually start anything#but here I was like 'I'm going to write this cute scenario just because I want to' and the words started forming basically on their own#I hope inspiration like this strikes me for my other loves too at some point#also ik I've been all about the king in the past days but be assured my love for my other faves is as strong as ever <3#I have a feeling he's probably going to end up up there with my main f/os at some point though#f/o: 💀#the horned king#the black cauldron#disney villains#the horned king x reader#x reader#villain x reader#f/o imagine#self ship#fanfiction#writing#selniaswriting#suggestive#(not really but just to make sure)
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there are two wolves inside of you. One of them is fretting that you went through all the effort of making a new art account just to pigeonhole yourself once more into a specific fandom, which holds you back from exploring original art concepts that you care about. The other one came up with three separate ace attorney comic ideas in the last hour alone and isn't stopping anytime soon
#laurellala talks#am i unwell? perhaps#i also drew like 5 more sketchy comics i haven't posted#and a full colored drawing i haven't posted bc i'm overthinking if i need to attach comics to it also or post on its own#i want to draw more muppets interactions and come up with an actual theoretical muppets ace attorney case!#they would get to explore the muppet studio as a location aaa it would be so cuteee#and i'm in the middle of drawing a comic of miles and nick video calling and teasing a young trucy (i love trucy)#and i NEED to draw nick and maya interactions from trials and tribulations case 3 it's so sibling coded agh my heart#also i want to draw lisa basil in general the roboty software company lady#i want to design an ace attorney self insert called Laurel Lyre (you're a liar) and draw sprite expressions and character interactions#she would be an art student that Nick knew from college and she was painting a still life of the scene of the crime#and her painting has something different than how the crime scene looked which is used as proof in court#ALSOOO i had an idea for a silly comic of nick visiting miles in germany (platonic coded)#and of either a comic or short story idea of them going out to dinner together. This one is hard to explain but it would be good#I WANT TO DRAW FRANZISKA TOO i have an angst comic idea for her! And i want to draw her as a kid in dance class#i feel like she has so much scrutiny of herself which is very “i was in dance as a kid” coded. Ballet probably#I ALSO have a comic idea of a holiday party that took place before miles' murder trial but after steel samurai case#where miles begrudgingly talks to phoenix to avoid small talk with strangers and they talk about college#specifically like. it is canon to me that phoenix was in an improv group in college. That's where he learned to bluff. he's so silly#i also want to make a comic of the parents at trucy's school trying to sus out how old nick is#since he's only like what 17 years older than her?#I also want to make a gilmore girls joke but i can't tell if this is too dated to be funny. Do people know this show still#i had never watched it before so i just watched like half a season of it just to make a joke. It's cute.#What Else. I have like 5 animatic ideas but i need to ask my friend what she uses to make hers bc in the past I've used imovie on my phone#do not recommend#and if i don't draw everything RIGHT NOW i'm going to lose interest and nothing will get made!!!!!!#andandand I STILL NEED TO FINISH TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONSSSSS#i got sooo far i'm doing so well in the waitress case#i need to finish it so i can finally understand apollo justice and know what the HECK happened in that time skip#ace attorney
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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drawing that grabpack was the bane of my goddamn existence i will be doing it again ANYWAYS have my ppt self insert holding poppy while she uh talks to them about something idk you can decide lmao
#hehehe making my own fix-it au cause i love the ideas that semisolidliquid put forth#also imagine being able to make outfits that subtly reference the characters in poppy playtime haha#[shaking] hahaha#yeah bro#poppy playtime#poppy playtime poppy#self insert#i will be drawing dogday soon i can guarantee you that#pyro plays with pencils#my brain is trying to get me to add lighting to this but i really dont wanna#i spent way too much brain power on that grabpack#clip studio#clip studio paint#clip studio art#clip studio pro#player oc#worker oc#poppy playtime oc#poppy playtime player#kind of an oc but they're more like a sona#at least in appearance
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