#my grandpa is lowkey rich | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brainlessrot · 1 year

Note

Can I request a head-canon about the housewardens with an reader that bites people out of love?

I do that a love (it's automatic by this point) and the reactions are so funny loll

(also if this goes against the character count you can remove whoever you want! I just got kinda confused if I'm allowed to ask about the housewardens or just 5 characters)

HIII!! i just re-read the character limit on my request rules and i realized how confusing it may be, so i changed it, and yes!! i do "character bundles" (groups that kinda go together, like first years, housewardens... ) up to 7!! so ill do all of them, thank you for requesting <3!!!!

floyd version!!

vicehousewardens + silver (tba!)

Contents ;; Biting as an act of love, sfw but kind of suggestive, specially on leonas (sorry grandpa's senile) , gn!reader, your teeth leave marks, not beta read!

Characters ;; Housewardens, Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus

Riddle ;;

Yelps, screams, howls

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT

may collar you out of instinct sorry :'(

overall he himself is not really happy with it but will let it pass if you explain that you do it out of love

(he will blush and after that he stops complaining and letting it happen)

once he is kinda used to it hell just groan and softly push the palm of his hand against your head to make you let go

if your teeth leave marks he WILL keep you collared and not allow you to come near him until the mark dissappears

will wipe off the saliva off bc he thinks its kinda unsanitary

If you bite him sneakily (like how a cat may nuzzle your hand before trying to maim you) he will feel lowkey betrayed, but generally wont tell you off unless it actually hurt him

You held his hand, pulling it up to press it up against your cheek, looking into his eyes as your lips left a quick kiss on his palm, his own face flushing a rich red. Your lips pulled at the corners in a smile he knew too well, but he wasn't quick enough to retract his arm from your hold before your teeth sunk into his hand. It was a soft bite, not too hard. He sighed, pulling his hand away and looking at you with a dissapointed-- but flustered-- face.

continues under cut.

Leona ;;

WILL bite back

it is either a threat, a promise, or a show of love, only he knows, and seven, he will not tell you

if you nibble gently on him he will ask you if that's all youve got and bite down on your shoulder so hard you're sure he tried to eat you alive (he didn't even put enough pressure to leave a bruise, but it sure did feel like it)

sorry but you have no chance of out-biting him, the moment you bit him for the first time you opened a door that could never be closed

whenever you are in bitting distance you HAVE to keep an eye out for his maw and any suspicious movement bc he WILL lounge and bite you whenever he can

the consequences of your own choices

if you leave marks he... he will be flaunting them, cheeky bastard, and be prepared, for what comes, goes, and you may find yourself some sharp canines indented on your skin

His arm was around your shoulder, his forearm near to your face. He wasn't paying attention to anything in particular, dozing off but still awake, eyes threatening to close the sooner he gets close to falling asleep. You lean into his arm, thinking for a few second before deciding that, since he was not aware of his surroundings, this was your time to bite him without him biting back. And so you did, gently biting on the exposed skin of his arm. You heard a chuckle, warm breath tickling your cheek as sharp teeth bit into it. "Did you think I would not reciprocate, herbivore?"

Azul ;;

hes both hard and soft when you bite into him??? like octopuses dont have bones and are squishy but that also means he is pure muscle.... so when you bite him he is soft but then he involuntarily flexes and now it feels like youre biting brick

he is generally very easy to fluster because hes not very used to affection (not coming from his mother or step-father)

depending on where you bite he will yelp or giggle bc he is quite ticklish

doesn't hate it but doesn't necessarily love it either, just understands that that is how you show your love for him (and appreciates it) but would rather you don't do it in public or he WILL die.

if your teeth leave marks hes going to die, crawling back into his tiny octopot and not leaving until the teeth-shaped bruise dissappears

You leaned against his body, eyes roaming around his desk as he filed some documents. Not that you were paying attention to what he was writting, instead resting your chin on his shoulder and looking at him from the corner of your eye. You opened your mouth slightly, moving slowly to not alert him of your plans. With your mouth closing on his shoulder, he yelped, his pen rolling out of his hand and clanking against the floor. He looked frantically at you, eyes wide and face flushed.

Kalim ;;

giggly as hell ‼️

if you clamp down on him a little harder than your regular nibbling he will literally bust out laughing he is EXTREMELY ticklish

may also nibble gently you back, but is hesitant to bite too hard, he doesn't want to hurt you :((

please PLEASE dont leave marks on him jamil will literally have a panic attack, dont do it for his own sanity

his favorite place to bite you back is your cheek, he loves grabbing it with his teeth and pulling softly, the way you laugh when he does so leaves butterflies on his stomach

Your hands held his as he excitedly spoke, telling you all about what he did for the day. It was a nice, domestic activitie. He would tell you about how his day went and you'd listen, every once in a while quipping in with a word or two, or a funny sentence in response. As he finalized his story, you raised his hands, leaving a kiss against his knuckles, before gently bitting the side of his hand, he giggled, gently pulling your own and doing the same as you did.

Vil ;;

sorry but he does NOT appreciate it all

he might.... buy you a chewtoy

do NOT dare put your "slobby maw" (his words not mine) near him, his clothes or any of his things

if he ever gives you permission to bite him and you accidentally leave teeth marks on him he is filing a restraining order against you (/hj)

REFUSES to leave his room until the mark disappears, that is an unbefitting appearance for Vil Schoenheit

however if you mainly just nibble softly he may (AND ONLY MAY) let you chew on his arm (where it will definetly be hidden under his long sleeves) but please do not bite him without asking because he will have a breakdown

he doesn't care about your reasoning behind biting him, he goes "i refuse☝️"

He saw you fussing around, clenching your jaw and pressing your lips together. Feeling the way he viewed you from the corners of his eyes, you tried to stay still as to not be make it obvious that you were trying to contain your urges of sinking your teeth into the soft and tender flesh of his, since you knew he wasn't rather fond of it. His own lips were pursed as he turned to face you, quickly pushing his arm out and pulling the long sleeves of his clothes back, presenting his arm to you.

"Do not bite hard."

Idia

"WHAT THE FU-" he is falling on his ass crawling on the floor and wriggling like a worm

at least give him a warning before you try to kill him mate

his first instinct is to bite back but he has to restrain himself because he knows how sharp his teeth are (and he may know from personal experience that using those to bite you dont fare well, ortho had to clean up your arm while idia was sobbing and begging for forgiveness last time he did)

he doesn't really mind after you tell him your reasoning but PLEAAASEEE give him a heads up before you even come close to him

his skin is super thin and sensible so he bruises easily please do be careful bc any mark will make him faint (and will give him another excuse to not go outside)

You asked him what he was playing, putting your arms around his shoulders as you leaned, looking at the small screen of his hand held console, some unknown game playing on it. The only thing that came out of his mouth was a mumble, his eyes trained on the device intently. You saw the way his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, no sound coming out, before he leaned against your arm, his sharp teeth scraping against your arm. A giggle escaped your mouth as you leaned forward, biting gently on his shoulder as a response.

Malleus

"child of man why are you trying to eat me"

please give him a break he doesn't understand what you are doing or why you are doing it

if you explain to him that some humans do that as an act of love he has the smuggest look on his face as he tries to cover his mouth so that you dont see his lil smile

goes "i see..." with the silliest grin EVER

lets you bite him whenever you want and ENCOURAGES you to do so

is hesitant to bite you back (even if you ask him) bc he thinks human skin is too brittle for his fae teeth

bites you so gently you think he just kissed your arm

if you leave marks be prepared to be hunted down by sebek

(and interrogated by lilia)

idk why but now i kinda wanna chew on his horns...

The both of you sat outside, the night breeze making you huddle closer to his body, warmth emanating from him. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, before extending his arm and pointing towards a small light in the sky, a star. His lips moved as he spoke, telling you it's name and to which constellation it belonged to. Your cheek brushed against his arm, your impulse winning against your better judgement as your head turned to the side, your teeth biting into him. He chuckled, looking you with fondness in his eyes, already accostumed to your weird human activities.

1K notes · View notes

juxtaposed-nerd · 1 month

Text

aapi heritage month headcanons pt. 3 !!!

just in time for s3 of dndads, let’s get into it! this one will probs be a lot but so much has happened in the past year 😭

- taylor LOVES chinese new year, he looks forward to it every year as the favorite (only) child and he eats all the dumplings he could ever eat and gets tons of red envelopes

- cassandra and morgan become best friends/mother-daughter relationship vibes post-doodler, like they are the most badass and cool women in the world and i do think taylor grows to love morgan so much and even though his relationships with nick/glenn are strained, at least he has the best mom and grandma

- as a voice actor for anime/cartoons i think cassandra really did fall in love w the art of anime and i’d love for her to guest at a con (make her the j michael tatum of her world PLEASE) and taylor gets a free ticket to weeb out as much as he wants <3

- in my heart glenn is trying his best, like he really wants that closeness (haha) and i think now post-doodler it's like literally what started as a father/son duo of him and nick now is genuinely a huge (kinda fucked up) family that is trying to mend itself and i do think it starts with chinese takeout !!!

- sidenote i think the close/foster/swifts etc are a great example of how freddie has subverted asian stereotypes fr and also how a family stuck in an absent/neglectful cycle has the ability to come together again

- the mending includes hermie too, hermie definitely deserves something more in his life and the chance get to be a kid w a home in the form of a big family w his bio dads (his normal parents are invited too) (and i also love the idea of normal being like 'grandpa henry! this is the guy!' and hermie being an honorary oak would be so cute 😭)

- hermie went and saw joy ride (2023) bc it was marketed as a comedy and came out bawling his eyes out from that one scene y’all adoptees know what im talking about

- tbh thinking about taylor's closeness w his mom and francis's w kimon wan literally asian moms are holding this show together

- the farnsworth’s are thai and german and they came to peachyville at a young age to give their newborn son a better life very starting nuclear family vibes, ed definitely learned thai for her, and now their son is a bowling champ!

- francis farnsworth and taylor swift are lowkey the spectrum of asian upbringing where it's like midwest asians vs socal asians 😳🤭 they live in different worlds

- kimon wan is an immigrant mom just trying to raise her family and her damn son wont stop being a loser 🤦‍♀️ literally milf w a shotgun (ed is a lucky man FR) (sorry anthony burch)

- when francis is having a really tough day then kimon wan will leave a plate of cut up fruit at his door so he knows he's still supported

- luo's golden wok is the first and only chinese restaurant in peachyville and they have to have the best pepper steak ever im calling it now

- tony collette would love and hate both jodie and glenn i think for different reasons but instead of calling them formosans he’d call them orientals 💀

- also tony collette is 0.0001% asian (chinese) and tyrus luo either DEFINITELY knows which is why he puts up w all the bullshit tony does or tony is determined to make sure that tyrus NEVER finds out ever

- they have a 'throwback' silent movie night at the drive-in and they show a meryl streep film and literally everyone falls in love w him 🥰

- billion millions was a crazy rich asian and he was an icon

- once again they mean the world to me! might end up posting more at some point who knows lol

checkout past headcanons: 2022! 2023!

62 notes · View notes

avatar-anna · 2 years

Text

do y'all remember those fics where mc is a daughter of the president or sm and harry is her wildly toxic bodyguard?

can you imagine if he like wasn’t toxic and lowkey annoying?

Like he’s still broody and glares at anyone who gets too close and she’s girly and loves chatting to people so they're total opposites

But she's also a total sweetheart to everyone, including Harry. She buys him meals on campus, and clips for his hair because she notices it always gets in the way, and makes him friendship bracelets, which at first she thinks he won’t wear but then the next morning she sees it peek beneath his uniform. She can't help but smile because the big bad navy seal was really a big softie

He wasn't really a big softie, though, he just had a teeny tiny soft spot for her, and for some reason it keeps growing.

And he doesn't keep her from going on dates or having fun, he just goes with and watches her from afar, though if anyone even looks at her the wrong way he's kicking their asses. And not just because it’s his job but because he wants to keep her safe for other reasons he can't explain.

And when she's having friend problems, whether that be she's not making any or they only want to be her friend because she's rich, he cheers her up by taking her shopping or to her favorite restaurant off campus or letting her paint his nails pretty pastel colors while they watch her favorite movies.

They grow so comfortable around each other that they have this unspoken language, like they can kind of just look at each other and know what the other is thinking. It’s mostly her wiggling her eyebrows at Harry when people ogle him while they’re in line for coffee or in one of her classes or crossing the street or—well, you get the idea.

They have their routine unintentionally memorized—he does yoga in his room while she says her morning prayers/meditates and uses the bathroom for her lengthy skincare routine, after class, she sits and does homework in the gym lobby while he works out, which she'll occasionally join in on from time to time, and every first Friday of the month they have dinner with her parents, which is Harry’s one night off, though as time goes on he realizes he doesn't really want to be doing anything else but hang out with her.

And so maybe one night she's studying for a test. She's wearing his crew neck because it was the first thing she found in the clean laundry pile and all hers had coffee or paint stains on them because she'd recently discovered that painting was her new favorite pastime. She's chewing on her pen and her glasses are slipping down her nose. Harry's trying to do a crossword puzzle in his copy of the day’s newspaper—something she teases him relentlessly for because, “that’s something my grandpa does”—but he can't focus.

She's attractive, obviously, but he's always been aware of that. She wears cute patterns and bandanas in her hair and puts kitschy earrings on before school. Her nose scrunches in the cutest way when she smiles and sometimes she snorts when she laughs. He was pretty sure she had a tattoo, but she swore up and down she didn't.

He knew all that before, but he's suddenly punched in the face by all her quirks, and he has no idea why.

“What?” she eventually asks him when she notices his blank stare in her direction. She knows he would never be into someone like her. He worked for her mother for one, a very important ambassador or congresswoman or something like that, but there's also the age difference. Harry isn't technically that much older than her, but the fact that she's in school and he isn't, and he's well...he's Harry.

He’s tall and strong and probably knew how to kill someone a number of ways and she wore panda bear themed pajamas to bed every night. Them being together was laughable.

And yet, neither of them looks away, almost like they can't. He's noticing she has a single freckle by her left eye and she feels like she can name the exact shade of his eyes. It feels like a cosmic moment, like everything is falling into place. But then her phone rings and the moment is over, neither of them eager to acknowledge whatever the hell just happened.

So both of them shake it off and go back to their normal business, only for the next few weeks they're extra careful around each other.

She thought she saw little hints and signs that Harry was into her, but he goes back to being grumpy and broody like when they first met, so she leaves it alone.

Maybe she even gets a boyfriend. Or at least starts seeing people. The first time she tells him why she's all dressed up, Harry wants to lock her in her room and, preferably with him in it, and not let her go. But that's a foolish thought, so he settles for a long lecture about the dangers of online dating that nearly makes her late for her date.

He can't do anything about it, so he just silently stews, praying that none of them stick even though he shouldn't.

But they don't, though she never tells Harry why. She can't tell him that none of them hold a candle to him, so she usually just shrugs and says, “he’s not the one.”

Except for the one time where a boy couldn't take no for an answer to the point where she hits her panic button, to which Harry replies to by storming into the back of the large house party and practically tossing him across the yard. He takes her home that night and makes her dinner, staying up with her to make sure she feels safe.

And when she finally falls asleep, she's cuddled up to him, her cheek squished from where it's pressed against his chest.

Harry looks down at where she's fast asleep, marveling at the mere contrast of their clothes. On paper, they absolutely shouldn't work, but somehow this person wiggles her way into his heart, melting his icy exterior. He knows he can't do anything about it, but it’s foolish to deny the truth at this point.

He's so gone for this girl, this girl who buys flowers for her dates and cries when she watches nature documentaries with him because, “The circle of life is necessary but so brutal.” This girl who took the time to sew his shirt up when he ripped a hole in it and offers to tie his shoes when they come undone. This girl who is destined to follow in her mother's footsteps one day but actually just wants to run an animal shelter.

She's special, there's no doubt about it. And if Harry can't be with her, then he'll do everything in his power to protect her from anything and anyone who tries to hurt her.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing

355 notes · View notes

queeresthellhound · 10 months

Text

Lowkey wanna start a philately TikTok… I really love stamp collecting and there just aren’t enough people talking about it in a way that isn’t like “how to get rich quick of your grandpa’s stamp collection!”

2 problems with this tho: 1) I am super shit at uploading consistently and 2) none of my stamps are really particularly valuable. I just wanna be able to share my “boring old man hobby”

#stamp collecting #postage stamps #philately #philatelist #stamp collecter #stamps

4 notes · View notes

beomqutie · 2 years

Text

ㅡ maneater - c.yj

profiles #1 : hotness overload 🔥

y/n: this is the reader! she's by far the most popular girl in school, however she doesn't know how she got that title. tends to sleep around, especially at parties, but never keeps in contact with her past affairs. honestly just a sarcastic girl boss while also a bit clumsy at times.

jay: y/n's childhood friend. he once had a crush on her but quickly got over it, now they're only friends and that's fine for both of them. lowkey simps for y/n and doesn't mind spending money on her at all! he's also rich. he's the most popular guy at college, mostly because of his homme fatale looks and his money.

yunjun: shares the dorm with y/n, that's where they met and became friends. tends to watch harry potter movies with y/n whenever one of them feels sad. y/n's first bestie and cuddle buddy. she's vvv sweet but only towards women and jay.

winter: y/n's other bestie. they met in music class at college and got close quickly. the 2nd most popular girl at college! usually very sweet but tends to voice her opinion in a rather direct way which may come across as cold and mean, y/n thinks she's sweet though!

masterlist | grandpa and kids

33 notes · View notes

angelvyxen · 11 months

Note

I did it…😭

BITCHH tell me why I’m in this mf Uber shaking like the things I just did got the Beyoncé tickets tho so it’s a win!

Ok so I already knew this boy right? We had sum classes in hs and we got like 2 classes upcoming together right? I already done gave you the run down on what he said so let’s jump into the night I took a shower and jus threw on leggings and a hoodie I didn’t know how messy it was gone get in my mind I was like girl turn back but then I remembered what coco Jones said “and you would do it to for a check” he get me a Uber around 10:15 it’s 12:50 am now I’m on my way home but anyways I get to his house his shit big as hell he had to sneak me in through the window right? Cause his grandparents was staying over thankfully his grandpa couldn’t hear good and the grandma was snoring her ass off in the living room I could have shitted on myself time I was walking up his stairs he was telling me everything that was going on with his life in my mind I’m like wigga (cause yk he white) idgaf show me the dough so I can get tf up out of here we get to his room it’s nice or whatevea bitch tell me why I see toys TOYS my heart still racing this summer walker I’m listening to ain’t working. Anyways back to the story I’m like uhm oh ok did you clean everything and yourself he’s like yea all happy and shit so then im like get on the bed by now this man hard like ready to burst open he’s sitting in front of me I have like my legs open so his back can fall into me and he has his open right so then I just grab the lube yk putting it on the VIBRATING butt plug it was lowkey so pretty I had to move from my position to see if it was good or not it was he was clean shaven🌚 so then I get back in my position and I already know how to work a vibrator so this was gone be easy don’t ask how or why just do if you are stressed mkay? Anyways I’m like is this fine-

It’s always the rich write men that are into the most questionable shit, I cannot—

0 notes

josiebelladonna · 1 year

Text

so, this is my chart: if you can't see the positions, they are as follows:

sun at 25 aries moon at 17 aquarius mercury at 0 aries venus at 4 aries mars at 24 cancer jupiter at 7 libra saturn at 27 aquarius uranus at 22 capricorn neptune at 21 capricorn pluto at 24 scorpio northern node at 13 sagittarius chiron at 17 leo and i am cancer rising (4 cancer specifically)

everything i've read about planets at 0 degrees says that you are basically that planet and whatever sign it is to a t. and... yeah, i don't have much to add to that. i'm mercurial and aries, meaning i'm androgynous and tomboyish as aries is the quintessential masculine sign. i've never felt fully feminine, and if anything, i always felt weird doing things that are traditionally feminine and i'm not crazy about everyone wanting to be feminine it feels like when you should really be vouching for a nice balance. the right amount of feminine with masculine so you're healthy. aries being a fast sign, i often feel like my mind is going a mile a minute, and you can see this in my fictional writing, too. a lot of fic tends to be flowery and over-the-top in description: not me, it's often very concise and kind of bare sometimes, like i often wonder if there's more i can add to this to give it more substance.

also, i have a masculine instagram handle, badmotorartist, not just as an indicator of where i came from but this was something women were doing for centuries until rather recently: use male names because a female one will get you scrutinized to of great extent (tbh, it’s starting to go the other way: female pen names are becoming more common and taken more seriously. i just feel more comfortable with a more unisex name).

venus in aries: i was a field hockey player, and a baseball player (hell, i still enjoy watching both on tv: i'll watch ice hockey or baseball over football any day, tbh). i also like to go hiking and do archery. i'm a formula 1 fan. i also like watching tennis, the winter olympics, and cycling. i like rock and metal and will to the day i die. i like drawing men, specifically men i'm attracted to. no light, girly colors here, we're all about palettes that are rich, fiery, neon, striking, anything bold and stark (while simultaneously being earthy?)

i'm lowkey ashamed of my venus, though, and i really don't know what's to blame here for that, either.

up in my 10th house with mercury, too: you probably know me for my art and/or my writing. given my midheaven is pisces, i'll be telling you exactly how it is and you'll be the one to put it up for interpretation.

mars in cancer: don't talk about the people i love in a bad way or you'll get it. i may be round and getting rounder as i get older, but i'm strong, though. some days, i feel like working out; other days, i don't feel like doing anything other than reading. oh, my poor stomach.

i've also been told this is a very sensual position to have and- yeah. i buy that completely.

moon in aquarius: i really do feel like an alien at times, like i came from another place other than earth (i mean, the fact i'm the only one in my family with brown eyes should be indicative enough: my dad's eyes are hazel, my mom's are green, and my brother's are blue). one of my finest moments in writing was my sci-fi trilogy now it's dark, as aquarius is into science and science fiction and all things fantastical.

with the moon ruling my chart as well as my mars, you won't get noisy, rough sex or anything vanilla from me, oh, no, no, no.

saturn in aquarius: i think it's this strong uranian point with the two aquarius planets and uranus at an angle in my chart that allows me to think as logistically as i do. i'm an artist but i also have a long history of studying science: i was a mechanical engineering student for a time. i grew up reading about earth science - hell, my best friend and i wanted to be a paleontologist and a geologist respectively when we grew up. my grandpa was a nuclear scientist with a doctorate in mathematics (when i was 7 years old, he and i would sit at the kitchen table together and he'd teach me calculus or how a fission reaction works). my mom's stepdad is a literal rocket scientist: when the challenger exploded, he knew almost immediately what had happened (whereas it took nasa a year to figure it out). my brother is a chemical engineer who specializes in rocketry. my dad's an automotive engineer.

and yet, i'll admit it: i have some screws loose. i didn't suffer from depression and anxiety for as long as i did for no reason. i'm not psychotic like elon musk or andrew tate, two men with a strong uranus, but i do have these impulses to just absolutely shock people just kinda for the lulz. by the way, alex has a strong uranus himself, right next to his sun (at 0 degrees libra, no less! you see him and you think "hello, libra boy!"): i've often found something rather otherworldly about him, otherworldly and hypnotic. that's probably why he resonates with me so much because he and i are both strange, in the way uranus is, and yet we funnel our strangeness into good things like art and music, rather than destroying a social media site (that was admittedly on its way out, imo: twitter was starting to be uncool to me before elon showed up) or being absolutely horrible and misogynistic.

it's also a chore to keep friends, like i really struggle in making them and keeping them. i often feel like no one likes me just from a first glance, like they see me and they go "ew, no way." as i've gotten older (and i'm nearing my saturn return here in the next week or so), i'm learning to pick my friend group more wisely, and this is something i really, really wish tumblr would do more because you can't just trust everyone you call your mutual because in my experience, they very easily could just stab you in the back and shut you out for absolutely no reason, and the excuse they give is often complete bullshit to boot. saturn is in my 9th house, too, so this whole pattern has followed me all through my school days. and yes, i struggled in school, too.

and when i say i struggled in school, i don't mean i was a dropout or i flunked every class (even though i did flunk a couple of classes when in high school and into college). no, i mean there was an inordinate amount of pressure on me to do well, to perform well, to "get grades and everything would fall into place." and obviously, that never happened. i would take higher level classes like calculus or ap english or ap history and i often felt like i didn't belong in those classes - and yet, if i went into the regular classes, i would smoke everyone.

i hear about fucking children taking high classes like that and getting into universities, almost all the time now, and every single time, i just think to myself, "what." like... where did i go wrong? and i hear my parents saying that, too, "where did you go wrong? why wasn't that you?"

and yes, high school did not prepare me for college. like, not at all. when i went to the tech school that i went to for engineering, i was in way over my head. i often felt alone, too, like i couldn't talk to anyone about my struggles in classes because the stereotype of people like engineers and architects being absolutely insufferable is a stereotype for a reason: worse, i would get family telling me "if you need help, just say so" like, gee, thanks, that really comforts me a great deal.

speaking of which...

jupiter in libra: as much as i think like a scientist, i also think like an artist. hell, i am an artist. i haven't had the best luck with it, though (idk if it's from it being retrograde or harshly aspected or what).

i have a tendency to play devil's advocate, as a lot of people on here will tell you.

jupiter is in my 4th: i want a nice place to live. not a big place (i live in a big place right now and it kinda blows, tbh), but a nice living place. a place i can actually call my home, because this wasn't my house when i got here. it became my house once my stepdad passed and my mom is only heir by marriage rather than "next of kin". i.e., we can leave this house and then put it up for sale literally any day we want, we could do it today if we wanted to.

i come from a big family: i have 13 aunts and uncles, 7 nieces and nephews, and a shitload of cousins. my brother married into a huge mormon family and i only know like two of their names lol but holy fuck, is it dysfunctional, though. my dad's a recovering alcoholic with a very unpleasant personality. my brother is a control freak and a little bit misogynist, too. my mom barely talks to her brothers, and her brothers have only just recently started getting along with each other.

i've also read that wherever jupiter is in the chart, it expands whatever part of the body the sign and house it's in. like for example, alex has jupiter in virgo (no clue what his ascendant is, though), and he's got the cutest little belly on him now. eric has jupiter in taurus: all neck. chris had jupiter in taurus, too: a very nice neck and a voice that was too big for the room. i'm very "hippy" and chesty, and i'm also chubby by nature (part of me just wants to let go and be fat).

chiron in leo: i think my lack of success in the art world can also be attributed to this. chiron is like that one thing that bothers you constantly, like no matter how you try to dress it and fix it, it just nags at you, day in and day out. we all have something like this, and more often than not, it's something we don't really talk about much, either. for me, it's creativity. i don't think i'm all that creative, even though i make stuff for a living. this thing is my 2nd house, too. i was hating money before it was trendy. it wasn't that long ago i kept hearing family telling me to "find work" and what i'm going to do about money, rather than letting me enjoy myself and follow my heart, given that's what leo is: it's all about matters of the heart. i have the worst streak when it comes to romance, like if you've read any of my sex journaling, you've watched me bleed, and that's because i simply couldn't hold in chiron's pain anymore. leo is the sign of children: i don't want kids, period. i'm like chelsea handler, i'm literally not in any position or mindset to have kids, like that's a level of mentality that you just need to have. i'm happy to have 7 nieces and nephews, but children of my own? there's no way. there is absolutely no way. i'm turning 30 in april and i live in a world that's plunged into absolute oblivion the last three years: i'd be out of my fucking mind to bring a child into this world and destroy my body in the process. plus, good luck trying to get the perfect spouse, a ~match made in heaven~ for me, too: nevermind the struggles i've had with sexuality, i literally can't imagine someone loving me unconditionally, especially when i grew up feeling like there was something inherently wrong with me.

because of the strong uranian point in my chart, recently, i've started wondering if it's a sign of latent rebellion. like, "love, romance, marriage, children? fuck all that!" at the subconscious level. knowing the intense shame that i feel with my kinks, though, it's hard to say.

i know my desire to gain weight is an act of rebellion. i've read that chiron square pluto is a sign of eating disorders, more so since i have chiron in my 2nd house of the body: i've struggled with anorexia for years, because i grew up bombarded with messages across the board that i'm no good as i am, and that includes my stomach and my appetites. no exaggeration: there's this big part of me that just wants to let go and climb up to 300+ pounds because i already feel more "myself" being over 250. when i was a kid, i remember telling myself that i would be fat in the future and yet i was forced to keep my weight down and also dO wElL iN sChOoL if i wanted to be accepted as i am... and even then, i couldn't do it.

remember when i said alex has sun conjunct uranus in early libra? yeah, my jupiter is literally right there with that conjunction in the synastry chart. every time he sees me on ig live, he smiles, that really big genuine smile as if the sun is shining. it would also explain why i have the hots for him, too, and why i don't ever want to stop feeling this way for him, either (he's also got mars in virgo and venus in scorpio harmoniously aspecting my ascendant, too. figure i'm very attracted to him and i feel like he's way out of my league, too - poor guy's got pluto square venus right now. oh man. i went through that all through high school, is it any wonder that i suffered as much as i did?).

my venus is opposite that conjunction, too: i read about this and it's considered the "bad girl/bad boy" element between two people. it makes me think of rumble by link wray or lolita by lana del rey, there’s something so dangerous about it. all my encounters with him since february 2021 have had this really clandestine feel to it, like he comes back to my comments when no one's looking, or the time he said "i love you and everything you do" to me over ig live after he kicked back a glass of wine, or the time i called him "handsome" and he went, "who, me?" and though i've always made sure that they're not particularly naughty, i have said some things to him over stories that would make anyone blush and feel a tickly sensation in their very cute belly.

pluto in scorpio:

“oh, jos, you've really done it now, you rabid cur!

you are a dinosaur waiting 2 die, a millennial! a 90s kid!

finna aks you a question no cap, have you even been a child before? gen z is great because we said so and you gave them a scathing remark a while back so you can n E V E r take that back!

that's your official opinion! 5EVER! go back 2 ur ravenclaw house, you fecking boomer!"

(full disclosure: i don't consider myself a 90s kid because i was in kindergarten in 1998 and i barely remember 1997/1996. my brother on the other hand, born in 1985, is considered a 90s kid because he grew up and became a teen in that decade, whereas i grew up and became a teen in the 2000s.)

pluto in the 5th: art is in my soul. i have to make things or i will lose it, i will go off on the deep end. i feel like i'm on the brink of insanity most days. some days, more so now than ever actually, i don't feel like getting out of bed because the world is not safe. i suck at romance. i'm not sexy at all, and i'm royally obsessed with this thought, too. my relationship with sexuality is a weird, convoluted one that almost doesn't even make sense, and i'll admit this, too: i want to make peace with it and continually explore it but i also feel like it's all greek to me, like there's no way i can understand it and enjoy it, god forbid. the 5th house cusp in libra: "oh, you pretty things!" and "you gonna eat that?" are two things that coexist in my world.

going back to synastry, alex's scorpio planets (mercury, venus, and neptune to be specific) are all in my 5th house. joey belladonna (another libra boy who's a triple scorpio, not too sure how that happened) has those three + his sun in my 5th as well. alex's capricorn moon (oh, baby) is in my 7th house and joey's moon at 0 leo (surprise, surprise) is conjunct my mars.

i cannot get these two men off my ass. ...not that i'm complaining.

hell, i don't think i've ever met a scorpio i didn't like. helps that we're both martians (more so us aries), but they've all been nice people, though. just like how i never met a libra i didn't like, or a capricorn for that matter. virgo is actually hit and miss now that i think about it: my best friend elizabeth was a virgo, and i have a couple of friends who are virgos who have been friends with me for almost a decade now (we did it, saturn!). but my brother's first wife was a virgo, and she did not like me at all, and ben shepherd of soundgarden is a virgo and it was obviously too much to ask of him to even so much as communicate with me in those long stretches of time when soundgarden weren't touring or doing anything.

northern node in sagittarius: my destiny in life is to keep learning and expanding my horizons. being in the 6th house, i'm doing this every day.

as for uranus and neptune nestled up there in capricorn... i think they're the ones calling the shots around here because uranus rules my moon as well as saturn (saturn also co-rules aquarius), and neptune rules my midheaven, plus my sun is ruled by mars, which is ruled by the moon, which is ruled by uranus and saturn. everything in my chart goes back to those two + saturn. yeah, even that fucking pernicious saturn-pluto square, which is like carrying el capitan on your shoulders lemme tell you, has nothing on the ice giants. here i am, looking at 30, and i have this inexplicable feeling that i'm looking at something huge in the next year or so.

i remember feeling something somewhat similar in 2019, like all throughout the year, i had this feeling something big was about to happen that would change everything, and that that would be the last year where everything would have a sense of fun to it before reality set in. it was like a "make hay while the sun shines" sort of feeling. this thing that i'm feeling right now is not nearly that fatalistic (although i do have plenty of fears): it's more like "the other shoe is about to drop and all the toiling i've done behind the scenes so far is about to pay off big time". everything is about to change dramatically for me on a personal level, and it's not a question of "if" but "when", and also "how".

#phew #that got me going #astrology #trying my best #personal #personal natal chart #text

0 notes

feralshadowdemon · 2 years

Text

my first impressions of some of the bsd characters:

chuuya: oh, very gender man, cool, i like him

dazai: funny soup of side man who is also a pain

atsushi: catboy

kenji: baby man. i love

kyouka: therapist needed asap

gin: ah. gender. i like her

akutagawa: victorian vampire

ranpo: goofy guy

poe: lowkey relatable, i like karl, very gender haircut

steinbeck: he looks like kenji’s long lost brother or father and im not sure which makes it less unsettling. they’re even both farmers

kunikida: see above but minus the farmer part

fyodor: funky guy in a goofy little mood (nice hair btw)

ango: a guy

oda: thought his power was cool and then he just died

q: NO GENDER??? YOOOOO-

elise: who,. who are you. why did you draw akutagawa like that (not the foreshadowing smh)

mori: how did he become a doctor

fukuzawa: a guy

fitzgerald: why are you rich. get out

lucy: i like her design and ability, love her

mark twain: PUT A GOD DAMN SHIRT ON-

hawthorne: old grandpa

katai: SANTA??

tanizaki: oh i like you your outfit is GOALS

naomi: oh i dislike you

lovecraft: thought his name meant Health Points Lovecraft or Harry Potter Lovecraft for the longest time, i didnt have a first impression of him besides the confusion i had with his name (now i know what it stands for and i feel like the internet has cursed my brain)

yosano: badass

kouyou: her design is on fleek

113 notes · View notes

zuzusexytiems · 3 years

Text

Jujutsu Kaisen From A Person Who Has Never Watched A Single Episode Of Jujutsu Kaisen: A Thread 🧵🐼

Some notes before we dive in:

I literally dk wtf this show is about

Jujutsu????? and magic????

There's a boy and his grandpa is dying or smth

They go to school?? the school is for magic ppl????

they're all hot and they have weapons n shit

Some of them r canonically gay and I dig it

01. Yuuji (???)

Pink hair idk what's up with that but I fuck w it

Naruto incarnate

he's important ig

they ship him with That Girl a lot?

gets tats when he's angry like the hulk except he doesn't turn big n green he just gets tattoos

idk what he does honestly I'm sorry idc abt protagonists it's all abt the side characters for me 😩

grandpa is dying and he's sad

02. Megumi

apparently canonically pan and I love that

Sasuke but gay and therefore superior

idk what's going on with his hair and I hate it

10/10 would die for him tho

edgelord??? Secretly a dork??

probably has some tragic backstory that will make me fall in love with him

03. This Girl

Idk who she is and what she does but I love her holy shit what a fucking bamf

Ochako from bnha but not 15 so I'm allowed to have a crush on her

she has this deadly weapon thing it's so hot and I am so gay

100000/10 needs to step on me immediately

04. GOJO SATORU

LISTEN IDK WHOTF HE IS OR WHAT HE DOES EITHER BUT HOLY SHIT THE THINGS I WOULD LET THIS MAN DO TO ME JZSJSJSJ

the only reason I want to watch this show in the 1st place lmao

tragic backstory that's worse than megumi's???

victor nikiforov & kakashi hatake's love child

very powerful

could probably crush my spine between his fingers and I would pay him to do it

rail me daddy

05. Nanami (???)

idk he looks like a millionaire

either a mafia boss or owns the school???? (is there even a school)

idk but he looks rich so he prolly owns smth

they ship him with gojo so he prolly owns gojo😌💕

loves bread and is a regular at this one (1) bakeshop

cute

06. Mai Zenin

the Other Reason I wanna watch this damn show

she has a twin(?) and they're both bamfs

everyone in jjk is so hot and I'm so MAD

One of them is Good & the other one is either evil or dead

I saw this gif of the two of them w guns once and felt my soul leave my body

07. Maki Zenin

The Twin

If Levi & Hange from attack on titan had a child it would be Maki Zenin

The Good (??) /Not Dead one

never smiles and has issues

probably has beef w the pink haired dude

she could teach me math and I would willingly let her

08. the panda

he's a panda

I don't fucking know

09. This Guy

everybody hates him

lowkey wanna stan him just to spite everybody on twt lmao

was dead once ig???

If Mary Shelley Was Into Anime

Patrick Star kinnie

a himbo

10. This Other Guy

I keep forgetting he exists

highkey reminds me of that annoying kid from class B in bnha

gay gay homosexual gay

probably says "NAUUUR" out loud unironically

needs a hug and a 10-hour nap

idk how to end this post but l'm probably gonna get super obsessed with this show once I start it and I am Terrified 🙃🙃🙃🙃🐼

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #if u saw me cross post this from my twt no u didn't #long post

22 notes · View notes

victorie552onepiecespeedrun · 3 years

Text

Reading One Piece pt 335: Somebody Call Child Services

Chapter 583

Thoughts:

- Ew, these two guys from Thriller Bark I kinda wish ended up deceased are on the cover. Forgot their names, glad at the fact

- “I hate bandits” um, Luffy, maybe don’t say it in the middle of a bandit lair

- Dadan yells a lot, huh

- “”Starting tomorrow, I’m gonna work your butt off! Cleaning, washing, shoe polishing, weapon polishing! Stealing, plundering, fraud, murder! You got that!?” Baaaack up, some things are not like the others here

- (damn, it really is a boot camp for orphans/orphan-alikes. Garp must be rich, only a rich person would think of it)

- “You only get this much food! Fend for yourself!” hmmmmmm

- “Okay” “What? Isn’t this where you’re supposed to cry?”

- “One time Grandpa left me alone in the jungle” I knew about it but. Garp’s A+ Parenting strikes again

- no, seriously, all this sequence makes me go

- yes, Ace and Luffy bonding time!

- what the… that’s a whole *** tree

- ACE STOP TRYING TO MURDER YOUR BROTHER

- JESUS I KNOW YOU’RE AN ANGSTY KID BUT THERE ARE LIMITS and the limits is throwing your brother off the bridge into an abyss

- gee, such caring individuals, these bandits. Shouldn’t they care more about brats, for their own self-interest? I assume it’ll get better but it doesn’t look good right now

- “He’s a demon child!” NOT YOU TOO DADAN ACE’S IN YOUR DAMN CARE

- “One night a week later…” …I just can’t believe it. A WHOLE WEEK!?

- Luffy’s back by the way

- AND HE STILL WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ACE. I know how Luffy is as an adult but to see this child so desparate for companionship he’ll live through This to befriend someone… I kinda want to strangle Garp now

- …

- Three months. I’m at my limit

- hey look, a junkyard. Of course we’re letting a child in there

- “All thing unwanted end up here. Things… and even people.” Oda doesn’t play around

- Sabo? We’re meeting Sabo!

- Great hat, Sabo! Why are you here, child!

- aww, they’re saving money to become pirates

- “You guys wanna be pirates? Me too!” lol, Luffy’s here

- they went and tied him up

- “Are you Ace’s friend? Be my friend too!” this poor child

- “If we let him go, he’ll tell the whole world.” Oh, like he has anyone to talk to

- “We gotta kill him” “Yeah” WHAT

- “Kill him!” “I don’t know how!” “Me neither!” damn it children WHY

- Pirates Who Ace Stole Money From Alert everyone hide

- oh Luffy

- “Help me, Ace!” …it lowkey hurts my heart, that thing here

- wow, you’re a terrible liar, Luffy

And that’s the story of how Luffy got kidnapped, soon to be tortured. Stay tuned

rOP 334 rOP 336

10 notes · View notes

loliwrites · 3 years

Note

Okay so we’ve met Addie’s parents but what if there was a family event and she took Alex along. Most of my family don’t have a lot of money and the thought of him seeing that side of me is like lowkey embarrassing— how would Alex respond to comfort her?

Shame on society for telling us that we have to be ashamed, embarrassed, etc. because of our socioeconomic status as it relates to others’. Somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten the simple pleasures. My grandfather was first generation American (1 of 8 kids) and his father died when he was 11. He immediately went to work, then off to war at 17, and came back and spent the rest of his life working. He never had much money. But we have countless photos of him throughout his life and you can just tell he was rich. He knew money wasn’t the end-all be-all. He was surrounded by family and friends, and though he barely had two dimes to rub together, boy was he rich.

I’m actually very intrigued by this concept. One reason is that Addi has become an ✨artist✨. Kurt Vonnegut has this painfully accurate quote that goes a little something like, “if you really want to hurt your parents, go into the arts”. And maybe her going into the arts did really hurt her parents because they feared she’d never make enough money. She’s not a trust-fund baby. She doesn’t come from a blue-blood family. She comes from a hard working, middle-class, blue collar family. Now, their ideas of what enough money looks like maybe be entirely different. But maybe they were less than jazzed when she devoted her life to the arts. Even with the “moderate” success she’s had, her family’s still not entirely sold on it.

Oh and Anony! What if she was trying to keep the family engagement on the down low so Alex wouldn’t ask to come along? And she was doing a good job of it until her phone dinged one night while she was cooking and she asked Alex to look at it. She didn’t think anything of it until he came into the kitchen while she was tossing the salad and flashed her phone at her, revealing a text from her mom. And Alex, looking confused (and maybe even a little hurt) asked, “why didn’t you tell me about your grandpa’s surprise party?” And from that point on, Alex was hellbent on attending.

That’s how they got to where they were now -- walking up the plain cement pathway and into an unassuming, one-story house that looked like it hadn’t been updated since it was built in the 60s. There was a bubbling in Addi’s stomach which she could only attribute to the idea that Alex would be put off by what he saw. His family was of some higher, special echelon... raised with a sort of class that penetrated even the most bohemian parts of him. And as Addi glances around the living room and sees her aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered around, she knows she doesn’t come from that special echelon. Her grandfather’s house is simple, just like the man who lives in it. There’s a part of her that thinks Alex will realize this and move on.

Addi sticks to the outskirts of conversations for most of the day. Nods when it’s appropriate, offers affirming hums to make it look like she’s paying attention. But the only thing she’s paying attention to is Alex and the way he floats from person to person, in casual conversation in that effortless way he does. It’s his training and experience of years and years in interviews. It’s like he barely notices Aunt Sheila, who’s definitely a few years into menopause but still dressing like she’s twenty-five. Or Uncle Scott who playfully punches Alex’s arm every time he thinks he says something funny. Or even the twin cousins, Jasmine and Jacqueline, the debutantes who’re trying way too hard to act like they don’t come from where they come from. And yeah, maybe these people are weird. But they’re her people. And she knows they don’t really match up to Alex’s people.

And then there’s her grandpa. God, Addi loves him to the ends of the earth and back. He’d give his last dollar away without hesitation and wouldn’t think twice about it. And now Alex is talking to him, tucked away in a corner of the den, sitting across from each other in the two white faux-leather armchairs that literally did come out of the 60s. She knows what story her grandpa is telling just by the expression and motions he’s making...

“I’m eleven, man of the house, and y’know it’s cold in Cleveland during the winter. We’re freezing our tokhes’ off at home, so y’know, I go to the railyard, steal some of their coal...” her grandfather always chuckles and waggles his finger at this part. “Lemme tell you, kid, the rail workers didn’t care how old you were. You’re stealing their coal? You’re getting shot at with buckshot.”

Addi walks up behind Alex and sets her hand on his shoulder just as her grandfather is showing off the scar on his arm.

“Genuine Cleveland lead,” Addi smiles and squeezes Alex’s shoulder when he looks back at her. Her grandpa shoots her a loving grin.

Alex looks back at her grandpa, childlike enthusiasm written all over his face, “did you leave with the coal?”

Her grandpa laughs harder; his chest and stomach bouncing, “son, I stole more of it just to spite ‘em.”

Addi squeezes Alex’s shoulder again, this time giving it a little shake. “We should get going, Alex.” She moves around him and approaches her grandpa, leaning down to give him a big hug and a solid kiss to the cheek.

Just as soon as she’s backed away, Alex reaches forward, still sitting as to not be towering over the elderly man. They shake hands. “It was so great to meet you. You've got some amazing stories and I’d love to hear more of them,”

Her grandpa waves his hand, “call ‘round. We’ll play pinochle,”

Alex stands, only because of the urging of Addi pulling on him. She shakes her head with a slight roll of her eyes, “no pinochle.”

And then, like two old friends, both Alex and her grandpa say at the same time, “why not?”

That’s only the tip of the iceberg. It isn’t until they get home later that night, settled in front of the TV to wind down, and Alex asks for her grandpa’s phone number so he can call him up to make plans. That’s when she realizes how deep this river runs.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to do that,” she insists.

“I want to. Look, your family’s great but your grandpa’s awesome. Definitely one of the coolest guys I know,”

Addi chuckles in disbelief, “really, Alex. It’s alright. My family's small potatoes compared to yours.” And she thinks she’s off the hook with that comment, but Alex is so far from letting her off the hook. He’s silent but his eyes bore into her. She dares to look at him again, not in the slightest bit surprised by how upset he looks.

“They’re your family; they make up who you are, kid. Maybe they’ve got some rough edges... my dad was a humble stage actor that walked around the house naked until I was fourteen. How’s that for a rough edge? I love them because they’re a part of you. And yeah, we might not always like some of them... Jasmine tried to take a bite out of me today...” he chuckles and hooks his arm around Addi’s shoulders when she opens her mouth to scream about Jasmine. “Let me tell you, slugger, I’ve never felt like I understood you more than I do now. You’re a scrappy little fighter like your grandpa. And I’d really like to get to know him more because I know how important he is to you.”

Addi huffs because at this point she’s trying to prove a point, but Alex still ends the night having acquired her grandpa’s telephone number. And that’s where she thinks it’ll end.

Until like... four days later when Alex strolls into her apartment later than she was expecting. And he doesn’t look stressed or worried... or anything. Addi subtly asks where he was (only it’s not subtle at all... she’s literally like... where the fuck were you, I was getting worried) and still very casually, Alex mentions that he brought lunch over to her grandpa’s house and they spent the day chatting over food and a little tiny bit of whiskey. For the rest of the night, Alex goes on and on about all the stories her grandpa told him... about growing up, the war, raising a family... even some stories about Addi.

And she’s happy they had a bonding session, because her grandpa is really important to her. Now her two most special and important guys are getting to know each other. But she sure as shit knows her grandpa’s saying some embarrassing stuff about her, and now Alex knows.

#alexander skarsgard drabble #alexander skarsgard imagine #alexander skarsgard #alex skarsgard #asked #anonymous #tokhes is ass in yiddish #also seen it spelled tucchis #meeting grandpa

39 notes · View notes

avenging-fandoms · 4 years

Note

why do I lowkey want ransom to be my sugar d a d d y? 🥵

ransom as your sugar daddy would be absolute heaven. he’d come home almost every day with a bag or box, giving you a quick kiss to your cheek and smiling. “hi baby” he’d always great, and it always got your heart racing

he’d also see how stressed you were over school, so he’d take you on a quick weekend trip to clear your mind. he’d buy you the prettiest lingerie, and the sexiest red bottom heels money could buy.

spoiling you spoiled himself. he loved to buy you such nice clothes, that made him drool all over you every time his eyes laid on you.

everyone thought you were with ransom just because of his money. sure, he’s rich, and only because of his grandpa, but his grandpa loved you and kept sending money for your school, which you tried to deny, but he insisted. you were heartbroken when he passed away in his sleep, and he left you and ransom a lump some of money, naming it “for my great-grandkids”

you weren’t with ransom because of his money. you were with ransom because of who he was when his cold exterior melted. he was the sweetest, softest, most lovable guy you’ve ever met. and you wouldn’t trade him for all of the money in the world.

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale imagine #ransom drysdale imagines #ransom drysdale blurb #ransom drysdale blurbs #knives out #chris evans #chris evans x reader

253 notes · View notes

chamerionwrites · 4 years

Note

Oooh, for the WIP meme, tell me about Chewie Deserves Better. (He does, expecially from my auto-correct, who insisted I meant cheque)

(for @sassysnowperson, in case Tumblr is still breaking ask formatting which it probably is)

This is going to turn into a rant about my Chewie feelings but I’m lowkey always annoyed about the way that a lot of Star Wars media treats him more like a pet than a person (and sorry but I loathe the way fandom has codified it by writing countless modern AUs where he is literally Han’s dog). The ST in particular is awful about this. I rarely get the urge to break out Scandalized Mom Voice, but speaking to Chewie is like speaking to your venerable old grandpa if your grandpa were an eight-foot-tall war veteran who fought space fascists; the way much of the cast interacts with him makes me go EXCUSE ME children have some goddamned RESPECT. Like a lot of the flaws in Star Wars I think this one is very present in the OT, too - while the actors play off each other in such a natural way that it sells the character despite the lack of understandable dialogue, the narrative itself treats him like a sidekick (see: the medal ceremony in ANH, or the way the script constantly uses him as a punchline or frames him as unintelligent when the action itself shows him to be clever and capable and full of feeling).

Maybe some people are reading this and going “dude it’s not that deep,” and maybe it’s more glaring if you’ve spent some time in multilingual environments, but personally I just find it super grating when lack of common language is treated as lack of common humanity (or I guess just...personhood, in this case). In theory I actually think the way the OT handles the unsubtitled dialogue is really interesting! But this whole franchise keeps trying to have its cake and eat it too wrt to gesturing at humanocentric prejudice as a metaphor for bigotry and then only treating the human characters like real people, and it makes me spiteful.

Anyway I believe it was this post that ultimately made me throw up my hands and go YOU KNOW WHAT CHEWIE DESERVES? A POV. BECAUSE HE IS A FULL PERSON WITH A RICH INTERIOR LIFE, and Very Decidedly Political feelings about the Empire looting his planet and enslaving his people, fuck off Star Wars. And Solo notwithstanding (though that movie was unusually good on the Chewie-is-a-person front, whatever my other complaints) I’ve always had headcanon about how Han learned to understand Shyriiwook. Namely: Han is a lonely extrovert wrapped in a bundle of coping mechanisms, it was full immersion where he kept up a constant stream of conversation despite having to interpret the replies via hand gestures and Chewie was like (1) holy shit he’s a mess and (2) I’m adopting him (which is a very relatable feeling about Han Solo):

Chewbacca has never intuitively grasped human aging. He knows the rough calculation: multiply by 2.5, except when they’re very old or very young. Precisely what counts as very old or very young is where he has trouble. He looked it up on the holonet and concluded that the human - Han - is roughly Ruwarra’s age, which still doesn’t explain why he chatters like a kit that’s had too much sapwater.

Or - the age Ruwarra was, when last he saw his youngest mother-cousin.

Anyway I haven’t plotted it out yet but the premise is my version of how Han and Chewie met and became bffs, from Chewie’s perspective, with angry feelings about space imperialism and bonus nerd thoughts about language acquisition.

#ask box #chewie: humans are weird as hell and this one in particular. i'm keeping him because i think he might die in the wild #this is exactly how it happened and you all know it #my posts #chewbacca #star wars

15 notes · View notes

terzas · 4 years

Text

『 gemma chan. thirty-nine. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that WILHELMINE TERZA BURCHARD from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -FICKLE & -VOLATILE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +PROTEAN & +IDIOSYNCRATIC. i hope i see them around again! 『 bar. twenty-two. gmt +3. she/her. 』

howdy ! elo it’s me, wrinkle free brain barb ! i’m so pumped to be here n introduce u to my baby terza. here’s her pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo i love pinterest i live for it lemme make boards for our muses id d*e ) ! <3 don’t hesitate to dm me on discord ( bar !#3161 ) or here.

terza’s . lowkey a new muse so pls bare with me while i waste ur time rip

okay so .. willhelime “will” terza burchard spent her first 12 years on earth with her father, half brother ( cld be a wc later wink wonk ) and grandpa.

they lived in a grand, gothic-esque house in the outskirts of mapleview ! so u can say she’s a townie? maybe. idk.

growing up she had no social life bc <3 her grandpa n pa were . conspiracy theorists <3 her father especially was big on supernatural n apocalyptic shit n in his fatherly way, made sure terza n her bro were safe from the aliens comin to snatch them up yikes

age 12, terza’s father was declared d*ad after he didnt come back from his annual ~hunting~ trip. of course, this meant harsher rules on terza n her bro because . grandpa didn’t want to lose them too. highkey tragic. very understandable . i mean .. kinda not when ur a teenager with raging hormones n a thrill for stupid shit lol.

still, she loved her little family. wished her brother cld have normal parental figures n be normal but did the best she could do with the given.

age 18, terza packed her shit n moved away for college where she studied landscape architecture. the virgo, taurus n libra in her chart jumped out

she hated herself for abandoning her family but also thot she was destined for . better things , i suppose.

clung hard onto her wealthy friends, used their connections to build her own network.

as the self made business woman she is, she’d been livin her best life in different european countries, seekin the everlasting beauty n perfection.

as our lord n saviour jenny slate once wrote, there is this ribbon of loneliness ( n sadness ) running thru who she’s no matter how much she flaunts her perfect, rich clique, social media followers n impeccable portfolio. its just there. the guilt. the heavy burden of her past idk : /

had to return to mapleview six months ago by grandpa’s health’s been deteriorating n she cn no longer deny her past.

um.

personality wise i think she just ?? wants ?? something to call her own?

doesn’t open up easily. fears of being seen, if tht makes sense.

“i fear i will be ripped open and found unsightly." YEA....

i feel like. shes the type to cheat. wink wonk exes connection yea <3

the type of friend you’d call to bury a body .. until she cuts an immunity deal n rats u out bc gotta look out for the #1

extremely caring, likes to buy ppl stuff just bc she can ??

prefers to see the beauty in everything, but doesnt mean she has rose coloured glasses on. in fact, shes a skeptic ( thanks to her upbringing ) n judgemental ( a tru virgo ) and actually sees the world in black & white.

“ ‘i dont care’, i say, caringly, as i care deeply” lmao... yeah....

i truly hav no connection ideas my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that.

i feel like i didn’t do her justice idk i have a vision but its my first time properly writing her idk. sovvy

#mapleviewintro #this ? all over the place..... mwah SHDJKF #if u see any typos . baby im a hallucination im nt even here move away nw #no u don't <3 #death tw #uh #neglect tw #am i dumb enough to post this at 6 pm knowing ppl r probably offline ? yes n what abt it. thanks

8 notes · View notes