#my god. my fucking brain. lmao.
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Most of the time I am SO LOUDLY ENTHUSIASTIC about being bisexual (at least, like--in my brain or the places where it’s actually safe to be Out™), but occasionally, very occasionally, like once every other year, the Internalized Biphobia™ just decides to show up and then I feel guilty for being Attracted to a Man, when I am. Literally. Bisexual. With a history. Of being attracted to. People of. All genders.
#it's not even a real man!!! he's a fictional character!!!!!! this has no bearing on anything and I shouldn't feel bad about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#@brain why are you upset at yourself for having attraction feelings for a fictional adult man!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is going on with you!!!!!!!#GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#tw: internalized biphobia#(and like. there would be no reason to feel bad even if this was??? a real man?????)#tbh I think this is partially ocd-related in the sense of like. in the same way that I have to 'earn' my place in the world as A Good Perso#I have to 'earn' my place as a queer person by like. having every experience of attraction be like. Radical™ in some way. Or something.#because our whole thing is 'existing radically' right? (which like. that would imply that our very existence is radical on its own. so. ???#and this is just. the most cliche and predictable and non-radical thing it is possible for me to do because it's THIS character#my god. my fucking brain. lmao.#ALSO: other people's identities are fine and they can do whatever they want. it's just that /I/ am a problem. why? who knows! I just am!#In the Vents#ignore me#sometimes I have to fling my thoughts somewhere so I can see how objectively ridiculous they are
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this has been a roller coaster of a design journey but finally I can present you: class swap artificer!adaine and rogue!fabian
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#fh class quangle#goodbye... goodbye hoodie kid adaine..... we have mecha pilot/power armor adaine instead#I couldnt really land how she'd get a hoodie reliably in freshman year given the abernants pattern of confiscating shit from her#so I kinda switched gear and dug a bit into a like sukeban aesthetics instead. and since shes with the AV club I like the idea of#like a radio coord thing for her. hence the suspenders#I fully admit the sukeban thing is influenced by the hacker woman in ghostwire tokyo who I have a small crush on#she's SO cool. too bad about a number of things with that game#the jacket of useful things is a racer jacket this time bc Im predictable like that#her ensemble in junior year is her tank top + overall it might not be clear enough in the pic...#just had the thought ''man I should do turnarounds for all of them'' and immediately had to slap myself out of it#anyways uh! fabian I have inflicted with my favourite thing to do to characters who like to stealth or fly under the radar#which is Bright Extremely Noticeable Jacket That Hides Your Hands#fabian's ghost motif has led me to the famous horror movie trope of silhouette with iconic jacket from afar#(see Sinister and Alice Sweet Alice)#and I love to imagine him hanging the coat up somewhere and opponents aiming there instead of at him#but also the raincoat is specifically modeled after the yellow fisherman's raincoat#and. that led to. me thinking abt fabian pulling riz up at that cliff with a net instead of the battle sheet lmao#so his junior year design is fully Fishing. which is so fucking funny it has obliterated all other possibilities from my brain#ranger flavour: captain ahab#I still debate making him carry around an actual fishing rod tbh. right now Im giving him a rifle grappling hook thing#gods. I just think High School Classmate Suddenly Gets Way Too Into Fishing is the funniest fucking thing that can happen#thank you fabian. thank you for giving me this. love you buddy#still blanking on kristen but! throughout this whole storm here I've realised I just need to fuck around
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i have a secret.
I'ma be so fr, I think everytime i see mystery trio content (esp with them as old geezers) and it's not tagged as ANY ship, I think I feel my soul ascend a bit like. Yes. Platonic friendship. YOU CAN LOVE THE HOMIES WITHOUT KISSING THEM‼️‼️
#Silly post lmao#Gravity falls#Fiddauthor#fiddstan#fiddlestan#ford^2#fordsquared#Ykw fuck it#Aroace Ford#I LIKE ASPEC FORD I DUNNO!!#HE SEEMS VERY ASPEC IN MY BRAIN.#LIKE#GOD
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Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )
#nba#golden state warriors#dallas mavericks#steph curry#klay thompson#steph/klay#ok first of all oh my god#secondly i need asg week to be NEOW actually I don’t think im capable of waiting til feb#both teams have kinda been floundering (mavs to a lesser extent but still) and I am growing Impatient for the reunion !!#also the buddy hield cycle being proven right for the 4th(?) time. lmao. some of those dumbasses rlly thought they got prime klay back#the victory lapping after beating the blazers jazz pelicans and pelicans was like nothing I had ever seen#especially towards a fucking legend !! like klay fucking thompson !!!!#no one not even pr-trained to high hell steph curry himself could ever convince me that he’s hopeful or even okay with this bullshit#he needs klay. klay needs him. they need each other and always have but it’s looking more and more likely that steph is#gonna go out like kobe while klay is gonna gonna keep chasing the ghost of pre-injury self#that last part felt so wrong to type out because i personally think he’s been everything you could want and more from a guy#who went thru everything that he went thru and#his comeback is probably my favorite comeback story in any sport ever of all time bc it’s such a fairy tale. and it also actually HAPPENED#!!!!!!!!!!!!#ppl talk abt the injuries like they happened to him and then he just disappeared forever like no bitch !!!!#he came back and they won it all that same year !! led the league in 3pm the year after that !!!!!! led the league in ft% the year#after that n ppl still acting like he adds virtually no value to any team that wants to win a chip when in reality that couldn’t be further#from the truth#I wrote it like that because I get the sense that they both look a little lost/confused at times and I can’t help but think that#losing embarrassingly or not they might at least be in better spirits (if nothing else) if they still had each other’s company#oh well. lol#ok I think that’s everything I had and a million sorrys if this post exploded on ur dash i wish I could turn off my stupid sports rpf brain#but I can’t ❤️#wishing every happiness to the two of them tho they’re my babiest girls frfr#nik's rants
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another day goes by. i once again glance wistfully out the window and whisper to myself it should've been ives. but at the same time, im kind of glad it wasn't. but god, it should've been.
#rimi talks#nothing new to say i just once again thought about how fucking nothing tdr is and how fucking nothing tim/ber is#tim/ber/kon is the ''i don't care about any of these characters and ive never read a postcrisis comic'' ship.#tim/ber(/kon) is to me just shorthand for ah. you think tim and j*son get along don't you.#but timiveskon? GALAXY BRAIN. DO YOU SEE IT#kon and ives share common interests they could make out about star wars opinions while tim sits by consumed by lust#like. ok. jokes aside i think timives as tim's first mlm romance that is so gently doomed bc of his secret keeping. AUGHJHH <3#i know ive said this before i just started thinking again. my god#it should've been ives.#but im glad megfitz didn't get her horrid mitts on him. lmao
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/13087ecf6b51d529339bfa98b151d32c/5a9f18662f9bf5ad-90/s540x810/1daa73573df28490947a6154d0eb9550b04b85f4.jpg)
my favorite steamgoth icon
#good morning drebber nation (its almost 3 am)#rip enoch you would have loved cinema strange and creature feature#god he is so me it hurts#honestly i can never get sick of drawing him he just translates into my style so well#now i wont be able to draw for weeks im exhausted lmao#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#ace attorney#enoch drebber#i love posting in the dead of night and not when everyone is presumably awake at a reasonable hour#aa#tgaa#dgs#dgs2#shit i draw#please bring him back in dgs3 i bailed him out of jail myself so get to work crapcom#edit: oh my god this guy is a fucking BRAIN PARASITE#HE IS SO ME. IT ACHES.#enochposting
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good morning everyone! unfortunately for all of you, I am still wildly gay for Lord Eclipse on this fine wednesday! so take this INSANELY self indulgent doodle I did a bit ago LMAO
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#xero creations#HEAD IN HANDS. VAGUE HAND MOTIONS. YK HOW IT IS. WHATEVER. WHATEVERRRR QHUAHQSKJWD#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#lord eclipse#lord eclipse au#lord eclipse.... x reader ?????#OR SMTH....#It was inspired by the hug art my mutual sent me bc immediately my brain was like#'ouhh need a fucked up possessive hug from a fucked up centipede god' AHSJQHDS SOOOO. YK. VAGUE HAND MOTIONS LMAO#centiclipse
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i have way too many sonas but like??? the urge to make a jevinsona is too goddamn strong especially after seeing the most me-coded jevin design ever ggrgrehhajsbsjjzj
#miscellaneous leer#im specifically talking about the serene!jevin design i saw on twt like oh my god that pink frilly hood is activating something in my BRAIN#i feel like my jevinsona only exists as a way to express my kinship of jevin and for fun compared to my sprunkisona who has lore purpose#my ass over there having like what? 7 fucking sonas?? and here i am gonna make another one LMAO YIPPEE
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#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls#god i dont know what im doing anymore...#forgot how time consuming making these things were#they are so tiny and look so dumb LMAO#stan doesnt even have blinking animations yet#blink mf blink!!!#dont mind my thd background and undertale cursor (i say while flexing)#also dont expect anything to come from this im just fucking around with it...#i do really wanna finish and release them tho.. at some point..... maybe..........#circuit to my brain
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.....Legend was born on Homestuck day.
#FUCK#OH MY GOD#ANON THIS TOOK ME OUT OHMYGOD FUCK#AS AN EX HOMESTUCKER THIS IS TAKING ME OUT#wasn't john's birthday on april 13th too#and wasn't karkat's birthday too??? god my memory....my brain blocked everythinf homestuck related#but if i remember correctly then LMAO#anyway this unlocked so many blocked memories I'm screaming#miry's ask box
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.
#i think the only term that is incredibly questionable is “queen” lmao#idk i have some personal beef with that one#MAN I REALLY MIGHT JUST DELETE THIS IN LIKE FIVE MINUTES#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHY DON'T I KNOW WHAT I WANT#i'm not asking you to fully drop the he him but just maybe.. use she her every once in a while..#I'M GONNA EXPLODE WHY IS THIS THE WEIRDEST POST EVER TO MAKE WHAT IS GENDER CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME#btw if anybody happens to be wondering why i don't just use they/them#iii just don't feel anything towards those#personally#like they don't make me feel like anything while he him and she her are more like yes:3333#does.. does that even make sense#oh my god#there are question marks flying around my head#i read this fic the other day#which is in my drafts i need to add tags to it#but the op just.. like made my brain grow two sizes#bc they made the reader genderfluid and then proceeded to use both “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” throughout the fic and i just#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#how do i .. get that#asghdhsaghdasghdshagdhgas#GUYS LOOK I'M GONNA SPIRAL I'M JUST GONNA HIT POST#ENOUGH#mayor of loserville#mickey vs gender#10 - 17#I'M LOSING AGAIN OHHH FUCK OFF
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What primarily drew me to Kazurei as a pairing isn't the roommate trope, nor the golden retriever and brood cat trope, or the gay spy x family gag, but rather this scene from Episode 8 (that I'm somehow still not over.)
It's the mutual reluctance to love and let themselves heal, with the exception that Kazuki couldn't stand to see Rei in the same position as him, so he offers to take care of him anyway. Both, who had a rough relationship with love, let themselves confide in each other. Rei, who found comfort and experienced what it's like to be taken care of, and Kazuki, who can't help but to extend care because it's something that's just... natural to do in his position. Kazuki, who is hurted by love that is taken from him over and over again, offers what he'd regard as a bare minimum because deep down, he wants his remaining loved ones (and in this timeline just rei) to feel the love he always desired.
Though Kazuki is seemingly full of emotions every time (enough to almost repress his sadness), his actions are always so gentle and full of warmth.
What makes it more beautiful is how Rei adapts Kazuki concept's, or rather, way to express love to Miri (with the most apparent example being Episode 9) considering Kazuki was probably one of if not the first person he'd experienced and therefore actively saw it from. He initially wasn't able to comprehend how to love and be loved, and only through Kazuki's deeds did he learn how comforting and nice it is to be cared for, so he wanted to extend that to Miri after realizing how much his family meant to him.
Going back to the topic, I genuinely adore how Kazurei is a pairing consisting of two people who weren't given the opportunity to love, and during their time before Miri subconsciously fulfilled each other's emotional needs. Though initially distant, they immediately clicked because they fit together like puzzle pieces. Similar desires but difference in approach and seek what the other has.
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While there is mutual understanding between them, being able to read each other, neither of the two had the will to step onto each others' boundaries and address it. It was satisfying to see them grow closer emotionally and form the courage to communicate, with great examples being the last few episodes of the series.
Tl;dr the soft aspect of Kazurei made me complerely fall in love with the pairing and I used to be neutral about it
#buddy daddies#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#kazurei#i did not fuckinf mean to type a long post oh my GOD my apologies for being so obsessed with them#buddy daddies meta#if it even... counts???#idk LMAO#we loving that dash of early codependency 😍#and now they finally stand on equal footing if its to be miri's parents UGH#this probably doesnt make sense and has a lot of errors because im supposed to be doing smth else rn but#kazurei in the brain (they wont get out!!!)#can i be normal about this family for one fucking SECOND
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obsessed with how the literal second charles first dies in the classic comics magneto finally comes back for the first time in like twenty issues
#snap chats#THEY BEEN NAME DROPPING HIM EVERY OTHER ISSUE SINCE HE FIRST FLED LIKE STOP TAUNTING ME#‘SNAP SPOILERS’ GOD sorry. yeah charles dies in like what. issue 42????#oh bitch i was just guessing yeah it is 42 LMAO#anyways no crying cause the literal last page its all ‘ a moment of silence for our fallen professor.. AND IN NEXT ISSUE MAGNETO’S BACK’#crying tho at pietro going to charles’ funeral and wanting his help for wanda :(((((((((( oh my beautiful boy and my lovely lady …..#also take a shot every time magneto curves a bullet. what is wrong with him.#lol shot. anyways.#group meeting to kick mags’ ass starts in five minutes#ok but Double Crying at pietro sneaking back in the castle cause why does it have the energy of like. some cinderella shit#yk what i mean like sneaking back in the house and toads all IM TELLING MAGNETO 🫵 fucking SNITCH#he doesnt even LIKE YOU stop pissing me off <- i love toad#i live for the drama tho cant lie ….#‘pietro how dare you go to charles’ funeral’ bro just mad he didnt go himself smh. whatever.#but now im forced to imagine pietro sneaking off to meet with charles like once in a blue moon#Can He Help Him And His Sister but now its too late to know …#girl i got so sad when he fled tho … peitro please the fam’ll help you 😭😭😭😭#anyways im about to have dinner with the fam so im gonna have ideas swirling in my brain for the next two hours BYE !!!!!!!!
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two hubbies that co-own you :) they pamper you and organize sacrifices while you fall asleep in their laps <3
^^^^^^^ IF YOU DON'T ELABORATE ON THIS I. WILL. PERISH!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE APPLE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT REPLY GOT ME JSJBDBRBDJRJR
Every morning you wake up, in both of your lovers' arms. Everything feels right with the world. You try to get up and get dressed, but they don't want you to, stay in bed with them and enjoy the morning, who cares if they have duties. After you manage to convince them to get out of bed (probably after some morning sex, let's be real), they'll bicker over what jewellery you should wear the gold one with white accents or the black one with green accents.
They ultimately settle on both, complete with your usual collar, both of their names written on the little tag. Before they can start fighting on what you wear, you call in your handmaidens, and they help you choose a nice outfit, not too revealing, but still enough for your picky lovers to be satisfied. The next step is to have a nice breakfast, and today it's Sydney's turn to have you on his lap, though you both know that by the end of the meal, Kylar will have joined you, envious as he is.
When you move to the audience room to hear petitioners, you move next to Kylar's seat, and he enthusiastically grabs at you, dragging you in his lap and holding you there so you can fall asleep in his arms. He keeps you there for the rest of the morning, barely even listening to the people making demands, more focused on your steady breathing and the way you look so sweet and pliant, just for him (and Sydney).
Lunch time comes around, and Kylar wakes you up, smiling down at your sleepy face. All three of you get a nice lunch in the boudoir, your lovers refusing to let you do the slightest bit of work, insisting on feeding you. Usually this would also be a time to have some fun, but you're a bit too sleepy for that today, maybe later.
You let yourself drift off a little more in your lovers' embrace for a little longer, until you have to move to another part of the temple to witness the sacrifices. Not your favorite part of the day, but it is necessary, and Kylar will not let you skip out on it. You're about to get up when Sydney gathers you up in his big beefy arms and smiles down at you, carrying you to the altar room.
There, in between the two thrones, sits a nice, comfortable bean bag with a blanket, which you promptly wrap yourself in, curling up while you let Kylar do all the talking. His hand comes down to pet your head, brushing through your hair, and you lean into it before grabbing one of the books you left here last time, and diving into it, forgetting all about the sacrifice. You're only taken out of it when hearing the screams of the victim, but Sydney covers your eyes and shushes you gently when you turn to look, not to protect your innocence really, but mostly to have your full attention on him.
He motions for you to sit on his lap, and you climb to sit, facing him. You don't have to wonder what compelled him to ask you for long, because he's already grinding on you, not focusing on anything around the two of you anymore. He's panting quietly in your ear, hands holding onto your hips to push you down on him, telling you to be quiet in hushed whispers. You look to your left, and Kylar is struggling to not stare at you, you can see his jaw clenching and his fists crunching up his robes.
Sydney's going faster now, biting his lip to try and stay silent, and you can feel his hard on now, even with the robes in the way. Your little gasps and whimpers have not escaped Kylar's notice, and he seems to have teared up his robes with how hard he's clutching them. You reach out to at least hold his hand, which he gratefully takes and brings to his mouth, sucking on your fingers.
Sydney's noticed your little noises too, and decides to kiss you to shut you both up effectively, which works a little, until he's biting and sucking at your lip. His hand moves to disrobe himself slightly, making you feel the heat of him even more. When you expect it to move away when he's done displacing his clothing, he instead takes the opportunity to slip his hand in your underwear, stroking at your core.
He's now sucking on your neck uncaring of any moans that slip out of you. His only goal is to make you cum now, he needs you to finish before him. He speeds up, his hand moving even faster and his hips thrusting harder. In a few short strokes, you come undone, and he allows himself to let go, ruining your outfit.
Before you can turn around to face the group of flustered cultists, you hear Kylar order for the proceedings to finish immediately, before he takes you from Sydney's arms and carries you to the bedchamber. He's determined to have his turn.
Once you're done with that, which is to say, a few hours later, you rejoin Sydney in the dining room, finally getting your own chair for the first time today. All three of you discuss advancements in the cult or the book you're reading lately, basically making pleasant conversation, before you're done eating and servants come to take away the empty plates.
You're then guided to your private bathroom by your lovers, who insist on holding your hands, even if you remind them you know where it is by now. They help you undress and wash, fondly lathering you in soap as you return the favor, fooling around and splashing each other, leaving responsibilities behind, in this moment you three can just be loving, and not care about the world outside. There are no fights, no arguments here, only tenderness and pure unadulterated love.
When all of you are squeaky clean and the water is getting cold, you relocate to your bedchambers, where you can prepare for a full night's rest, if nothing, or rather no one, disturbs your sleep tonight. You slip into bed, awaiting your lovers to cuddle and let yourself drift off in their arms again, until you wake up the next morning, ready to tackle the next day.
#man how did this turn to smut i just wanted to write a schedule kinda#how did it go over 1k#how is it exactly 1069 words what#also sorry for not writing the kylar part of the smut but my brain is already fried there is only so much i can take guys lmao#IM FINALLY FUCKING DONE OH MY GOD WOOO#apple's writing#cult leader kylar#kylar the loner#dol kylar#dol sydney#sydney the fallen#kylsyd#cult sydney#sydlar
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relistening to the gravity falls commentary and hearing alex call grunkle stan a "deep well of sadness" really hit dif after the book of bill
#in the life#gravity falls#book of bill#stanley pines#like. oh my god#someone else write this essay for me#the fact that every single divorce was a woman leaving him because he wasnt good enough like!!!!#would he be a great husband? fuck no#at least at that point#but good lord he got dumped so many times!#*either because he wasnt good enough or they never loved him in the first place#like HOLY SHIT WE KINDA GLOSSED OVER THAT WITH THE TOXIC YAOI BUT IT HIT ME TODAY#this stupid diseased man has poisoned my brain. new roman empire unlocked#it was dipper i projected onto as a kid so its absolute hilarious and kinda sad that i grew into a stan and not a ford lmao
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