#my god was this shit stressful
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we won larp
#cw blood#rhynsocs#god. it’s been such a long fucking day#i killed two vampires. the other half of our team killed a third one#my god was this shit stressful#briar is NOT happy about this at all but the blood explosion image was too good to pass up
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its like this, basically
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#I THINK! MAYBE! I HAVE NO SELF CONFIDENCE#BUT UR GONNA LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE ANYWAYS. SANEMI DOESNT HATE GENYA!!!!!#yes he is mean to genya no im not saying its justified in any way#hes doing it ON PURPOSE he is trying 2 DRIVE GENYA AWAY#he wants genya to stay as far away from the demon slayers as possible bc he knows how dangerous it is#and this is his way of trying 2 protect him!!!!!!!#because genya is his ONLY REMAINING FAMILY MEMBER !!!!!!!!!!!#his actions are not GOOD but it does annoy me when ppl make him torment genya for shits and giggles#like he would not do that#you understand#anyways i love drawing these 2 so so much especially genya oh my god#genyas blank. vacant. wide eyed stare is so important 2 me i love drawing him furever and ever#ALSO IN LOVE W THE “FREAKISHLY TALL” GENYA HC#LIKE ITS NOT MADE OBVIOUS IN THIS DRAWING BUT. ough. so good. bean pole#i want to pat him on the head gently#sanemi has the vibe of like a stressed out chihuahua#demon slayer tier list how likely is it for each character to bite someone#ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEB#its ironic then that the whole reason genya joined the demon slayer corps in the first place was bc#he wanted to become strong like his brother. to get his attention#hey wanna see how hard i can cryFFSSSSSHHHHHWWWGGGGHHJJJJ#potatart#sanemi shinaguzawa#genya shinazugawa#GIRL I FORGOT TAGS </3
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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Katie & Trip | Touch
#power rangers time force#power rangers#trip regis#katie walker#do NOT come at me for how shit these gifs are i TRIED OKAY#why was time force shot so much in the DANG DARK#the more i brighten the worse it looks ;-;#anyway this is for me and the two other people who will enjoy this lol#katie and trip make me go 🥺💕😭💖🥰#like what is their PROBLEM they don't do this with anyone else!!#my headcanon is that they are just besties with the same love language#and i also headcanon that xybrians need regular physical touch for stress & immune system regulation#like the way he's just doing some research on the computer with his hand on her arm?? whats that about#and the way she'll just drape herself over him any chance she gets is just... ;-;#i might keep working on these and replace them if i find out what else might work but with photopea and the best quality 🏴☠️ i could find#this was the best i could do#and i am now emerging from this hyperfocus oh my GOD IM SO HUNGRY I FEEL SIIIIICKKKKKK#ok ok bye bye
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“Arthur can totally dress himself he’s just spoiled” why are you giving him that much credit
#no but seriously#this bitch has every symptom#being able to consistently dress independently would genuinely be a miricle at this point#he has constant meltdowns easily manipulated anger issues#admits that Merlin is his ONE AND ONLY FREIND#so that’s definitely a social deficit if I’ve ever seen one#he’s dumb as a tone of bricks and I can say that bc I am also#and noble insest WAS THE NORM.#you wanna know why king George lost amercia?#HIS BRAIN WAS FUCKED UP. HIS GENES WERE FUXKED UP#but like#anyways#key word constantly dressings himself#bc every disabled person will tell you that abilities are such a spectrum#back when I couldn’t dress myself it fluxuated wether I could or couldn’t and to what degree until i eventually couldn’t do it at all#also arthur can technically do it#but rare times and even when he does it’s shit#sometimes doing a task is technically possible but it takes 25 years off your life#bc of stress and just. god it’s so complicated and overwhelming#and even if you DO it it’s not even worth it#bc it’s shit#I will die on this hill btw#from my own little galaxy world#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc
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i like the car movies a lot.......
#cars#pixar cars#lightning mcqueen#sally carrera#my art#art#drawing#fanart#sketch#these r SOOOOOOOO messy dont worry abt jt#i love sally n mcqueen so muhcnman#sally the love of my LIFEEEE#also his pyjamas in the court sketch r. bc i asked my pals what we think he was wearing when he got separated from mack. bc its SO funny to#imagine him in his pjs in court trying to seduce sally#like realisitclally hes probably not. they peobably gave him a change of clothes he did in fact make a mess#but man.....the idea of him stood there in his own branded pjs . .....it enamours me#temporary wheelchair user mcqueen after his crash is reel to me <3#he doesnt even need it for that long but by god he decks it out#note that they have rings on in the cars 3 ones...theyre married...#the second one is all sally when she arrived at radiator sprrriiings i rhink of her too much#ft flo & sheriff#ur sheriff. ur watching the road leading into town (even the towns basically dead anyway noones fucking coming in so ur legit just sat ther#eating lunch and thinking abt ur husband). a blue porsche rolls in and ur like huh. a visitor. thats new. the porsche suddenly just gives#out in the middle of the road and ur like. oh shit lemme call mater. before u get the chance to do that u r cut off by the LONGEST BEEP#IN HISTORY as sally carrera#burnt out from lawyering#slams her head on the wheel and yells FUCKKKKKKKKKK. this is MY canon now.#sheriff watching a stressed 20 smth in a business suit repeatedly knock her head against her steering wheel while muttering about#how this Has to be her annoying bosses fault somehow#wondering if he should offer her some help or just let her get it out of her system
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guys... if they said theyll send over the details of the interview but havent yet and its tomorrow and i write an email about it do i look cool and serious or lame and desperate... help help help
#its important cause its in person and ill have to take a two and a half hour trainride up to the city and#id like to not waste my time if they dont give a shit about me 😭😭😭#god i. augh. stressed#ALSO getting my blood taken in the morning ill be fuckung. ill be so out of it 😭#hazel.txt
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I hate you loss of the headphone jack. I hate you loss of the home screen button. I hate you headphones I have to remember to charge. I hate you thin flimsy screens. I hate you phone that no longer fits in my hand. I hate you laptop too thin for a usb port. I hate you laptop without a disk drive. I hate you increasing array of dongles I need to keep using what I need. I hate you planned obsolescence. I hate you inescapable barrage of ‘improvements’ that brings more work and gives less joy. I guess it’s just easier this way.
#apple#planned obsolescence#I can’t hold out updating my damn iPad and iPhone much longer so I’ve been looking around#and my god I’ve been reminded how fucking stressful this shit is#also WHY THE FUCK HAS THINNESS BECOME A SELLING POINT??!!#like oooooh it’s soooo weak and flimsy with the trade off that you can connect it to jack shit!!!#I’m so relieved!#I thought it was going to do the same job the old one could for a second there!!!
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Respite/Return.
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv elezen#elezen#duskwight#tsuwamono seiei#Except this is technically Sophinia cause she's not corrupted yet \o/#Have been fighting for my god damned LIFE to get this working#Normal maps control color influence on skin now#Did you know that?#I didn't#I damn near had an aneurysm on the spot let me tell you#And I still don't even know what the new multis do. Even though they're no longer multis but I think vectors?#This shit is going to stress me out SO bad trying to get her (new) corrupted form working#Especially with all the new bones!#And I'm not even CLOSE to done with this one yet!!!!
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Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.
Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?
Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?
If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.
Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.
And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.
During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.
Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.
No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.
#did i make my first post a 1000+ word essay about the dawnfather? yes#did i write this instead of doing my work? also yes#would i do it again? absolutely#i have so many thoughts about the gods of exandria#i want to shake them in a jar and examine them under a microscope#it is my foremost belief that pelor has eldest daughter syndrome#like surface pressure from encanto is literally the perfect pelor song tell me im wrong#he is so stressed. all the time#like pelor IS a dick. absolutely#he has definitely done some fucked up shit#but he's not malicious or evil. hes doing what he thinks will protect everyone#he is in desperate need of a nap. a hug. and a therapist#this definitely delves into headcanon territory but i dont care#critical role#cr spoilers#cr meta#cr headcanons#dawnfather#everlight#cr asmodeus#pelor the dawnfather#cr sarenrae#cr gods#shelley's overdramatic character analysis
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.
I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.
How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?
And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.
I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.
#im going INSANE#i literally just have to filter out the batfam characters at this point#and even that doesn't help sometimes#holy shit guys what is GOING ON#seriously if i see one more fic thats all 'haha the justice league meets the batfam and they're so shocked! 😯 because they're crazy 🤣'#i don't know how to explain to you people that THEY HAVE SEEN WEIRDER#a bunch of ninja kids aren't even making the top ten weirdest moments my dude. like. at all.#not even remotely#i can't stress ENOUGH how normal that would be to them#anyway im going fucking bonkers over here#dc#dc comics#or god fucking damnit the YJ fics that literally just have Kon's life revolving around Tim#and Cassie and Bart are just background scenary. and only exist to push Kon and Tim together. I'm going to go fucking nuts#ship whoever you want but at least have the character have an actual character beyond 'love interest'#also jfc. every. single. birdflash fic. that has Wally just be a love interest with literally nothing fucking else going on#except his relationship with Dick. work? family? life? villains?? nope! no he's just madly in love with Dick and cute and thats it!#im GOING INSANE
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I just now realized that I may or may not have made a mistake. Um. If I made a mistake I am quite possibly fucked for like a year lmfao
#uhhh i may or may not have signed something i did not read properly. i thought it was just an info thingy#but it may have been the fucking JOB CONTRACT. WHICH I SHOULD SIGN AFTER MY 3RD MONTH TRIAL PERIOF#PERIOD*#if it was the actual contract then i dont know what to do actually?#because like. im still in the 3 moth period. in that time i should br allowed to quit the job at any point#however if its already signed can i still quit???? or am i gonna have to actually resign and wait 3 months till i can quit#MAYBE THIS WONT MATTER EJTHER WAY BUT IF I GET INTO COLLEGE ID LIKE TO LEAVE THIS JOB-#if i dont get in im staying lmao but now im STRESSING OUT#and i left the god damn paper at WORK. so i have to read it properly tomorrow when i come into work#but uh anyeay#excuse me not understanding how any of this shit works lmao#stiff talk#k rant over
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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"Hey Ginger, what are you thinking about at 2 am?"
"Well, you know that one part in Graf's 'Apollo' where he concludes that Apollo's deathbringing is not opposed to his joy-bringing but that, in fact, through him both aspects are unified and given equal prominence?"
"Oh, you mean:
"Yeah,,, that's the line right there."
#just ginger things#I actually have a lot of things to comment on but due to general stress and such#I've been going back and reading portions of some of my homeboy Fritz Graf's papers and findings#I'm so in love with the way Graft sketches portraits of Apollo in his work tbh#Modern day Detienne type shit oh my god#The scenes being contrasted here are Apollo's entrances in his Hymns btw (Homeric)#Where Apollo appearing bow in hand is a dread image that causes fear and panic#to all the Olympians when he enters in the Pythian Hymn only for Leto to divest him of his murder-strings (his bow)#and put him back into party mode vs Delian Apollo who had all the congregation#dancing and singing just by appearing#Shakes my fist#I love Apollo so much actually genuinely adore him#apollo#greek mythology#Now to sleep for ten trillion years
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hysterical over how stupid jamil looks in the event preview (what is he doing to a pumpkin) vs how ethereal he is in the card.
also your gojo from temu has been animated! yay.
no because the emotional turmoil i've already gone through because of that trailer + those cards T-T pumpkin fondling aside, a legit had trouble telling if leona's card was supposed to be him or malleus because they usually only pull out that level of elegance for their special little boy,,, AND THE EYE-PATCH,,, also wonder if jack skellington AND gojo's twst-sona are both going to be characters,,, possibly rivals,,, possibly lovers,,, there is simply much to consider on this topic.
#sigh#i really do love twisted wonderland so much#but god is it stressful#with other dating sim/gatcha games i'm usually good to skip like half the banners they put out#like with most of obey me's cards i was able to go 'that shit sucks and i don't want it' and continue to save my pulls#but with ever card twst puts out i'm just like#'that shit does NOT such and i DO want it'#and it's a lot to juggle#anyway wish me luck pulling for all three of the playful land cards this october#and the sebek's night blessing card when it comes out#and then whatever clubwear they release next T-t#personal#anon ask
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