#because genya is his ONLY REMAINING FAMILY MEMBER !!!!!!!!!!!

[potatobugz]

its like this, basically

[myreygn]

do you ever think about how sanemi's animosity towards tanjiro makes so much sense from a narrative perspective because tanjiro is literally everything sanemi isn't?

both of them lose their fathers at a very young age, only that sanemi's father was a horrible abusive jerk who inflicted severe trauma upon his entire family while tanjiro's father was the coolest guy around whose lessons continue to motivate tanjiro and impact his life in a positive way.

both of them have to deal with a beloved family member turning into a demon, only that sanemi ends up killing his mother and has to come to terms with the fact that although she became a monster he still killed his mother while tanjiro manages to guide his sister through her monstrosity and finds ways to help her keep her humanity in tact.

both of them lose their families with only one younger sibling remaining, only that sanemi and genya get separated and estranged while tanjiro and nezuko never lose their close relationship.

[spoilers below the cut]

both of them have to deal with their younger sibling being a demon (one way or the other), only that sanemi's hatred towards demons as a whole makes it impossible for him to look at genya the same way while tanjiro loves his sister all the same, no matter if she's demon or human.

both of them try to protect their younger siblings from danger, only that sanemi can't think of anything but straight up abuse to try and push genya away which remains unsuccessful while tanjiro and nezuko work together well during fights and tanjiro still manages to keep her safe.

both of them fight with the goal to keep their siblings alive, only that genya dies and leaves sanemi with a ton of guilt and regret while tanjiro and nezuko get their happy ending.

both of them are thrown into the conflict between demons and humans out of nowhere, only that sanemi spends a considerable amount of time on his own, killing demons without any assistance while tanjiro gets sent off with a hashira recommendation letter to urokodaki's where he receives a proper training and finds a new home and family.

both of them find companions along the way and form meaningful relationships with them, only that masachika dies young with sanemi being unable to protect him while tanjiro, zenitsu and inosuke stay together through everything and manage to survive even the final battle.

and a lot of this is meta knowledge, a lot of this is information that sanemi doesn't have about tanjiro. but he does have some of it and i think it's enough knowledge for me to put up this theory: sanemi envies tanjiro. because both of them went through unspeakable trauma and grief, both of them lost people close to them, both of them had to deal with similar situations.

and yet tanjiro is kind. he's friendly and good, people trust him, people love to befriend him and he inspires them wherever he goes while sanemi is bitter and nasty and simply incapable of forming and maintaining these connections in the way tanjiro is because who'd want to be friends with a cruel jerk right? and tanjiro loves to take lonely people under his wing, but not even he is willing to forgive sanemi for most of the story and i can only imagine how that must sting because no one wants to be lonely and yet sanemi can't even blame him. he wouldn't forgive himself either.

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

Why Nikolai fails as a leader

I made a post about why I cannot accept Alina as a protagonist here. I wanted to continue the trend and do the same with the other members of the Righteous Gang. I will start with Nikolai this time.

This is a long read so, brace yourselves.

Nikolai Lanstov is a character I enjoyed reading very much and he is the only member of the Righteous Gang that I find likeable. He is shown as an inventor, visionary, a lawless pirate and a prince who threw away his cushy life to support his country. LB proposes him as an alternative- the 'good' leader opposed to the 'evil' Darkling. However, as the story progresses, we cannot help but see several parallels between them. Both are clever, have a thirst for power(not for themselves), are patriotic and posses an opportunistic nature.

So what differentiates our 'Good' King from the Dark Lord? The short answer is LB and her plot armour.

In other words, the 'goodness' in Nikolai that is supposed to make him better than the Darkling is never put under trial. Even though, Nikolai as a character has enough traits in him to make him swing easily towards the 'evil side', LB restricts his character to his goodness and devices a plot armour in such way that his morals and ideals are rarely threatened.

Let me point out a few key instances where LB restricts Nikolai's character growth to keep up his clean image:

Nikolai's bid for the throne: Ever since Sturmhond's true identity as Nikolai is revealed, we are shown of his ambition to take over the throne of Ravka. We also see the ground work he had laid since his days as a soldier in the First Army but his plans just stops there. After re-entering Ravka, his only plan is to solely rely on Alina(a fickle person at best) accepting his hand in marriage, kickstarting his campaign for the throne. With the Darkling on the run and the country in shambles, we see no tangible efforts from him even when the situation calls for it He neither strong arms Vasily(or the King) nor does he march in and seize the throne. He does nothing but attend meetings and act as an underling to Vasily. For someone who loves Ravka enough to give up his princehood and live his days as a pirate in the sea, we don't see him doing much to aid the said country when it is in literal chaos.

So how does Nikolai secure the throne?

Answer: The Darkling does it for him.

LB had already established Nikolai as a morally grey character. So why didn't she let Nikolai blackmail his father or brother to position himself in the throne? The country is in shambles and the entire population is looking for a miracle. Marching in with the Sun Summoner, his First Army supporters and seizing the throne is obviously the correct step here and yet we don't see Nikolai doing that or rather LB doesn't let him do that because if she did, then how can she differentiate her hero from the villain?

Nikolai's when faced with the truth about his parents: For once, we are given an excellent opportunity to see how good and righteous Nikolai is. He learns the truth about his dear father, aka the rapist King. He also learns how his mother had been turning a blind eye to his crimes for years. And he, their only remaining son, is placed is in a position to dole out judgement for their crimes.

How does Nikolai punish his family?

Answer: He doesn't.

He shamelessly uses the opportunity to establish himself as the King and sends his parents on a nice, luxury retirement to the colonies. So where did his sense of justice go? How is he the 'good' King when his first instinct is to pardon his kin and not hold them accountable? Isn't that what self-righteous, non-Darklings supposed to do? And the way LB later twists this on the Darkling is laughable. Nikolai literally denies Genya her justice and yet the Darkling is blamed for it. Instead of Nikolai shouldering the responsibility for his actions(by extension his family's), the entire fault is solely placed on the Darkling. What is one more evil deed to his list of crimes, eh Miss LB?

Nikolai on Mal's insubordination. Why does he allow Mal(much later we see it with Zoya too), a literal nobody, to talk and treat him the way he does? He was well within his rights as a prince to demand Mal's blood and yet time and time again he lets Mal walk scot-free? Why? Because he is different? Because he wants Alina to see him in a positive light? To present himself as a better prospect? Because he is a good person at heart that doesn't want to force Alina into something and 'win' her over? So kissing Alina without her consent, in a public event no less, was an act of chivalry?

Answer: Because if he acted, it would make him look as 'bad' as the Darkling. The Darkling would have never accepted insubordination from anyone let alone a nobody tracker from the First Army. He demands respect as any good leader should. Punishment for insubordination is not as 'evil' act as LB perceives it to be. It has been existing since the dawn of time and it exists even in today's modern society. You cannot mouth off figures of authority without consequences. And yet LB cannot have that because Nikolai is not the Darkling. He is different, he is 'good'.

*****

Throughout the trilogy and duology, through several mouth-pieces, LB keeps telling us how much of a good person Nikolai is and yet when presented with an actual moral dilemma, she does not allow him to make a decision that would sully his 'goodness'. So how can we, as readers, call him 'good' when he is never presented with a trolley problem?

LB keeps shooting Nikolai in the knee to keep him from growing. Because if he did, then we would see how he was no different from the Darkling. The 'evilness' of the Darkling stems from the fact that he had to make hard choices since the day he was born. He had taken up an cause that no one before him did and so being 'good' was never an option for him because the only choices he had were preserving his soul or preserving his community. And he chose the latter and this is where Nikolai fails as a leader. Nikolai never had to make a choice of sacrificing a few for the goodness of many. LB swathes him in plot armour after plot armour that by the end of the duology he is almost as virtuous as Virgin Mary.

It's a shame that LB's views of the world are restricted to black and white. Had she understood the nuances of morality, she would not have maimed one of her strong characters.

A good King shows strength, courage and fights for his country. He commands respect from his subordinates and strives to improve the lives of his subjects. A good leader does not hesitate to use any tools at his disposal to get results he needs- diplomacy, violence, threats, warfare etc. A good leader will always puts his people first before his morals and more importantly does not give up his crown to Daenerys Targaryen knock-offs. By making Nikolai's character cling to his cloak of morality, LB makes him look like a people-pleasing child rather than a formidable leader he has the potential to be.

In conclusion, as much as I like Nikolai as a character, I would say Uther Pendragon made a better King to Camelot than Nikolai did to Ravka.

[princeblue]

Idk man you can’t convince me that from what we seen Sanemi wouldn’t have just shut down or go insane after the death of Genya, the very thing he dedicated his entire life purpose to, even going as far as to belittle him and attempt to physically harm him to make him leave the demon slayer corps, literally slipping through his fingers?

There’s no way he would have just been okay within a four year time span if we believe the slayer mark still would have killed him to not only get married but to have children, if he did the only way I can see it is some grief filled obligation to live out Genya’s dying wish of having a family and living a normal life (ironic.)

So there’s no love for the family, there is no sense of affection, maybe he’s good to his kids because he doesn’t want to be his father, but there’s a difference between being good to your kids and then actually being a father and I don’t see Sanemi stable enough to be a good father figure.

Maybe just maybe if he got to live a natural life perhaps he could have found genuine love, but from watching your family die and killing your mother, your best friend dying in your arms, witnessing the horrors of demons killing humans and trying to comprehend Muzan in general and then holding your last living remaining family member that you’ve tried so fucking hard to protect as they die too? No fucking way, no fucking way for me man nuh uh.

He wouldn’t have been able to come back from that, and as much as I love happy endings? To me it just feels unlike his character.

[wvoonie]

What are your oc relationships with each other and/or other characters?

Sorry for not answering this before 😭 this is kinda of a difficult question since I have quazillion ocs (I'm also kinda stupid) I'll just write for the two ocs i brainrotted out more 😿 (?)

Spoilers ahead and tw for gore ! (Not super explicit btw) And bad writing ahead 😭 (I swear I will write for my other ocs one day)

— Makoto Hikiuchi ; mantis breathing ; kinoe

based on her rather two-faced personality (?) it's very difficult to describe her relationship with other people. With other fellow corps members she keeps a polite smile, she doesn't talk much to them unless they come up to talk to her. With Kocho she does show more genuine emotions, but she also tries to conceal her "ugly emotions" in front of her, because she respects Kocho a lot. (Ugly emotions as for example, her anger at the thought of having a demon living in the butterfly mansion, though you could see her veins bulging out and her obvious forced smile)

With Tanjiro she was very, very hostile at first, threatening him and well, you get the point. She hated that this boy worked with a demon, a DEMON. The creatures that killed her brother and ruined her life and other's, and this boy had the nerve to work with it?? Siblings or not it was shameful, she would have slashed that Nezuko's head off if it wasn't orders from the head of the corps and Kocho not to do so ; but maybe slashing was too mild — maybe she could've sliced her into pieces, but that wasn't a possibility for now. As the time went on and she got to know Tanjiro better she became less hostile, still hating Nezuko but understanding the boy more.

It changed when Nezuko conquered the sun and spent more time with the other butterfly girls, Makoto was able to at last feel sympathy for the demon girl, finally approaching her with a genuine smile and patting the younger girl's head.

And for the sake of Genkoto... Ahem her relationship with Genya.... is feeling disgusted at the fact this guy actually just ate a DEMON and is making Kocho worried for him. But they didn't meet since Makoto is usually busy, until they once met gazes, the scary looking boy turned into looking like a tomato — it's strange according to Makoto, maybe she'll ask Tanjiro about that when she has the time.

— Akabana Okugawa ; spirit breathing ; Kinoto

Akabana is rather tricky, she is be categorised as intimidating to lower ranked slayers because of her serious, deadpan expression and the fact she barely talks or hangs out with other people other than her cousin.

She developed a sibling-like relationship with shinya due to him being her only remaining family member, despite their closeness she still does feels guilty of what happened that day so she prays that Shinya will forgive her. She tries hard to make him speak to her but the latter remains quiet all the time.

Her relationship towards the kamaboko squad is well, towards Tanjiro she is indifferent, she respects his unwavering resolve to save his sister but she thinks it's wishful thinking, Akabana only thinks it'll be soon until Nezuko decides to give in to her demonic urges, she keeps those thoughts to herself most of the time (she sometimes shares them with Shinya)

With Zenitsu she doesn't have an opinion on him, I believe they haven't met or had a brief interaction in which she deadpanned at his antics.

Inosuke is the one she interacted with more, every time he wants to fight her she unsheathes her nichirin, though she is usually stopped by Tanjiro. Due to her gullible personality she does believe everything the boar-headed boy tells her, he's the king of the mountains? Okay; a shiny acorn just for her? Thank you; "fight me"? Alright.

She's interested in the girl that Inosuke talks much about, she seems to feed him most of the time, are they in a relationship?

@ramuunene, @muuumuiiii, @kanaokanzaki-op, @stellapuffs, @cherieonow, @vampiir3d

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

For Them

Warnings - FINAL ARC SPOILERS, Character death, grieving, blood, depression, very little comfort, FEM! Pronouns, reader is called wife

You knew the day would come eventually. Demon slayers never lived forever, no matter how strong or fast they made themselves. You knew that there was a high chance your husband wouldn’t make it out of the fight. As you sat next to him, gripping his hand for life as the battle plan was laid out for everyone. Kagaya explained his idea to you and the residents at the table. Two retired hashira, The entire Ubuyashiki family, Your husband, and you. Everyone was silent, listening intently as Kagaya spoke. “It will not be easy, but I know we are the generation that ends it, our team right now as the demon slayer corps will be the ones to end the demons.” You watched Amanes firm gaze as she looked around the table. Shinjuro Rengoku was the first to speak up, he had active participation with the corps since the passing of the late flame hashira, his son. “We will protect them, no matter what.” Tengen nodded in affirmation, silent as he gazed back at the master's unsteady gaze. Your husband was unusually quiet next to you, not even a sniffle was heard from him. “Gyomei. You are the only current hashira whom I am trusting with this plan. You are the strongest we have. Your will has always been unbreakable, use it to your advantage.” As he was addressed directly he finally shifted, The hands that engulfed yours squeezing a bit tighter before releasing, falling back into his lap. “Y/n, We asked you along for this meeting because we have a favor to ask. The children are still young, and this will be very hard for them and for you as well. This is war and we don’t know what loss will take place during it. Will you stay with them? Shinjuro and Tengen will be right outside the room but we ask that you stay with Kiriya, Kanata, and Kuina during all of this for support. Kagaya and I figured it would be easier than sitting at home worrying yourself sick.” You looked up at your husband who continued to stare straight ahead. “Yes, I can do that. They will need all the help they can get.” Amane nodded looking over at her husband. “There will be more individual meetings while we figure out schematics, please remain diligent in your work. Thank you again, all of you” Kagaya dismissed everyone before retreating back to his quarters alongside his family.

The plan was hard to digest, knowing that the war would start with such a huge loss for the corps. But it was smart, all of them would fight their hardest knowing the Ubuyashiki family was a casualty. Gyomeie chose not to discuss it much, continuing to work his hardest and prepare for the looming battle only he knew was closer than expected.

When the night finally came, the explosion shaking the ground you stood on the two of you didn’t hesitate, departing from each other with a flurry of kisses and mumbled love before separating, promises to return not heard. You tried your best to stay strong, supporting the children the best you could throughout the night, praying to Buddha as each slayer was announced dead. Friends, those who you considered family members all being announced dead as the night continued. It wasn’t until upper moon 1 was defeated that you had to step back, the announcement you had begged anyone who would listen to prevent. “Genya Shinazugawa and Muichiro Tokito have died in the fight against upper moon 1” The world shook under the weight of the words as they came out of Kiriyas mouth, your knees quaking as you tried to keep yourself upright, standing just behind the eldest Ubuyashiki child. The tears fell silently, the red beads Gyomei thrust into your palms before departing were sweating under the heat of your grip. Not my sons. The words ran through your head like a mantra, the rest of the battle falling on deaf ears as you cried, biting your lips to stifle the sobs you could feel itching your throat.

“Y/N? Can me and Mui join the others bathing in the river?” You didn’t look up from the fish grilling in front of you. “Dinner will be done really soon, sweetheart. Can you wash up here? You can sleep with everyone else tonight if that’s better?” A plate entered your peripheral, being held up for you to use. “Thank you” “You know. You remind me a lot of my mom.” “oh yeah? Did she deal with a lot of rowdy brats too?” Genya laughed as he grabbed the plate of steaming fish before swapping it with an empty plate for more. “She did! And she did a good job! She was quiet like you but when she got upset she was a whirlwind. She kept us all straight, she did a lot for us. Sacrificed a lot. You do too.” You looked away from the sizzling meal at those words. Genya had a sheepish smile, always unsure of himself when he spoke earnestly. He was a brash boy, never shy when he didn’t mean the words coming out of his mouth, but when he meant it, he was a whole different person. “It means a lot to hear you say those things Genya. I wouldn’t ask for a kid different than you. If me and Gyomei have the chance to have our own children, I would love for them to be as wonderful of a person as you. You’ve grown a lot from the scared boy I first met. Your kindness knows no bounds and your forgiving and gentle nature always shines. I can’t wait to see the man you become” You patted his cheek before turning back to the food. “Thanks, Y/N,” he paused, taking a step back “I’ll go set the table and go get Muichiro” “Alright sweetheart, don’t forget to wash up a bit!”

It was less than 24 hours ago, probably even less than 12 hours ago you were hoping for a future you could watch them grow. You had been raising Genya since he was so much smaller, still grieving the loss of his family and the abandonment of his brother. They were still so young. “Master!” The screams broke you out of your stupor, rushing towards Kiriya as he grasped at the blood dripping down his face. “I’m fine, are Obanai and Tanjiro okay?” sitting back up with your help. Uzui was on your other side, passing cloth over to wipe away the blood and stifle the wound. The next 30 minutes were tense, holding Kriya upright as he watched the battle, trying to figure something out that will help. You listened to his cries, his pleas for them to relax while he tried to redirect them to help them survive. Uzui was tense, holding Kanata upright while Shinjuro held Kuina, supporting the Ubuyashiki children. You felt powerless, not knowing how the battle was going or being able to see the chaos. You looked over at Tengen while the battle reached its peak. Watching his eyebrows furrow as Kanata recited what was happening. “The battle isn’t over, tend to the injured!” Kanata yelled out as Kiriya fall back, unconscious. Everyone rushed forward. “Y/N, you have to go, east, a crow will meet you” Kuina was pulling on your sleeve “There are a few horses out back, now” Tengen didn’t spare you a glance, attending to Kiriya as you were shuffled out of the room, confused and unaware of what was happening. Did you win? Was it over?”

It took 20 minutes on a horse before you arrived at the scene, a crow squealing for you to hurry up. The scene was disturbing, there was so much blood, so many bodies still being covered. A kakushi greeted you in surprise, seeing you on horseback. “Mrs. Himejima, I’m so sorry. He didn’t want our help.” The words had you faltering as you dismounted, stopping in your tracks and losing sight of the crow that was calling for you. “What?” The kakushi stopped, suddenly aware of your confusion. They reached forward, grasping your hand in their own. “This way.” They led you through the debris, many other greetings you with apologies before you were brought upon your worst nightmare. There were a few other Kakushi surrounding him, tears flowing down their faces while they tried to clean him up, dressing his wounds that had stopped flowing at the same time his heart stopped. “Mei” You gasped, alerting the others of your presence. They immediately stepped back, bows of apology as they rushed through their sorrows. “Gyomei, my love, no” You didn’t know where to look, your hands patting around his body, stopping at his face. He was still warm, not the blazing inferno he usually was but a dying fire. “Sweetheart” There was a ghost of a smile gracing his face, he looked serene, the same he did on the nights you laid beside him, watching him dream. His head was heavy as you held it up to look at him. The cut across his features had been cleaned, free of dirt and blood. “how long ago?” You turned back to the Kakushi that led you there. “right after Muzan had been defeated. He told us not to waste the supplies on him as he would die soon. He asked us to do something for him though.” You nodded, listening as you turned back to your husband, fixing his collar and trying to straighten out his torn clothing, making him look normal. “Mrs. Himejima. He asked that we tell you not to worry and live normally” There was a pause in her speech as you nodded, not trying to listen but also trying not to break down. “He said I quote ‘I love you and so did the boys’ he passed away shortly after with a smile. Mrs. Himejima. I’m so sorry. We all loved him dearly, he was a wonderful man who fought very hard. We couldn’t have done this without him.” You couldn’t stop the cries if you had wanted to, the grief was overwhelming as you listened to his final words. You could picture the serene look on his face as he spoke, hear the timbre tone in his voice as if he was speaking directly to you, holding you with the same gentle touch he always held you with as he spoke to you. You don’t know when you collapsed into him, vision clouded with grief and sorrow. You couldn’t even remember walking back to the butterfly estate, holding the hand of Nezuko as you followed behind the parade of kakushi, carrying the bodies of the injured back for treatment.

3 different funerals with 3 different caskets. The hashira were all buried near each other under the largest wisteria tree in the grove. There caskets circled the tree, all different shapes and sizes. You had given the Kakushi fresh clothing for Gyomei, gifting them his wedding attire as you had no use for it, you asked that yours went with him, there wouldn’t be use for it either, you were his until the day you took your last breath. The flowers surrounding the hashira had left a beautiful display, and the Kakushi who dressed normally, all grieving for their lost comrades had been a support for you, knowing they were loved, they were cared for. You were grateful.

It was after Sanemi fully recovered when you held Genya’s funeral. He was buried near Gyomei and Muichiro at the request of Sanemi. Since there was no body recovered you had done what you did with Muichiro, filling his casket with gifts and treasures. The prototypes of his weapons and a few pairs of his clothing. His favorite vest. You included the blanket he had come into your home with, the one his mother had given him. “Genya loved you so much” It was the first time you spoke since the funeral procession this morning. Sitting next to your husband's grave with the wind pillar. “I know. I love him too. I just wish he would have stayed away, I wish he would have lived a longer life.” You hummed in agreement. “I would have liked to see him and Mui grow up” You reminisced. “He would have made such a good adult, an excellent husband. Maybe you and Gyomei could have helped with his wedding and vows.” Sanemi looked up from the grass he had begun pulling out, meeting your teary gaze with his own. “Thank you Y/N, for taking care of him so well. You and Gyomei both. I was glad to see him be taken care of so well. He looked healthy and well-fed. Thank you. He loved you, I know he did, he was so obvious with it.” You gave a stiff smile, trying not to cry again, you had been crying so much and it was exhausting. “Sanemi, it’s going to get better. We have them watching us” He agreed “it will, we will live for them.”

[aviiarie]

NO BUT THIS. THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. those two have been floating around in my mind ever since i finished the manga. like. AUGH. their relationship is so fucked, but i honestly... i can see exactly where each of them are coming from. LIKE. okay. im putting this under a cut. manga spoilers below.

for genya, i can understand his pov perfectly. i mean, he watched his siblings die in front of him and his mother get killed by his own brother, all when he was a child. a baby. he was under so much stress that lashing out makes sense; of course he's going to see sanemi as a murderer, all he could see was him standing over their mother's dead body.

but he grows up, and regrets it. okay, he wants to apologize now. only problem is sanemi wants nothing to do with him.

and sanemi? well. after genya's death scene, i think i do get where he is coming from. he truly just wants genya to live a happy life, whether he is present in it or not. all that matters is he is alive. it's why i can understand why he pushes him away, even if i don't agree with it. in his eyes, it is better to be hated by a living brother, than loved by a dead one.

how well did that one work out?

side rant but you know the scene where genya confronts sanemi? SANEMI??? are you STUPID????? blinding him isn't going to stop him from being a demon slayer, his mentor is literally fucking gyomei the blind hashira. in all honestly, that moment was definitely an impulse choice, a terrible, terrible impulse choice. because come on. if he was thinking rationally, he would have realized the fallout of permanently injuring one of the corps members, let alone his brother. it was out of panic, a last-ditch attempt to push genya away, out of the corps.

see, both of them are characters pushed into terrible terrible circumstances, and are navigating them the best they can. and that is what i think makes them so tragic, because in trying to push genya away, sanemi never got to express how much he truly loved him. in trying to protect him, he lost the last bit of family he had. like an idiot. i hate him. (sobs i love both their character's so much.)

that's where i think the idea comes in; i've been thinking about what if there was another sibling between them. would it change anything? would they be able to hold the pieces together? there's something so tragic about it, losing all of your family in one night in two different ways (even as two remain breathing, they could hardly bring themself to call them a family still.)

yeah. this got long, im sorry.

hold on. middle sibling reader of the shinazugawas, desperately trying to hold onto the fractured pieces of their family, because their brothers are all they have left. trying to complete the sisyphean task of mending the relationship between them, but only seeing it crack and break even more....

[teamfreewill56-blog]

I’ve always wondered why there were only 9 Hashira instead of 12 to match the number of Kizuki. Did Gotouge originally plan to have Tanjiro, Zenitsu, & Inosuke fill in the remaining 3 spots before scrapping the idea?

That's an interesting theory. I mean technically Tanjiro, Zenitsu and Inosuke are Hashira. They killed Daki AND Tanjiro and Genya killed Hantengu so they fit the requirements. Members become Hashira by killing any of the Lower or Upper Rank Moons or by killing 50 regular demons (As stated in Demon Slayers Q&A Volume 11 the page right before Chapter 91 starts)

 It's also mentioned in Volume 19 Chapter 168: "Never Disappear" that if Kumeno (for people who don't remember that is Sanemi's friend that got him to join the Corp) had survived the fight with the Lower Moon that he helped Sanemi kill he would have become a Hashira as well. 

So it doesn't matter if you kill the Moon alone or as a team, if you can kill one, you get the rank. I think just because of the way the story progressed the Demon Slayers had more pressing matters than going through the rights and ceremonies of making Inosuke, Zenitsu, Tanjiro and Genya Pillars. They meet the requirements so technically they are Pillars, it just never got "ceremoniously recognized". I think Gotogue went with 9 Hashira and 12 Kizuki for a couple reasons.

1. One of Gotogue's trademarks is teamwork, regardless of who she decided to kill off from the Pillars and the Moons by having there be more Moons than Pillars it makes it easier writing wise to pick out teams to go against a Moon. All of the Moons except for Kaigaku had to have at least 2 people working together to kill them. It helped illustrate how strong the Moons were and for me it helped the victories against them feel more impactful and realistic. (And yes Akaza technically killed himself he also stated that the victory was Tanjiro's so I still consider that a kill by Tanjiro and Giyuu).

2. It's very rare to run into a Moon (Kyojuro mentions this in the Pillar Meeting at the end of Season 1 stating that it's rare even for the Hashira who all stand out tremendously and are actively looking for Moons) and even with intelligence crows so there's really just not a lot of opportunity to become a Hashira.

3. Making a Pillar is harder than making a Moon. Muzan basically takes interest in someone or a recommendation from a current Moon and then fills that person with blood, if they survive and turn into a demon then they just complete tasks successfully/stay in Muzan's good graces to get more blood and get stronger, and then they're allowed to challenge a Moon for their position. So Muzan takes more steps but the Pillars' ascension is more challenging even though it's a simpler process because canonically regular Demon Slayers can't beat Moons. The Upper Moons have records of killing a lot of Pillars especially the Upper Moons.

Pillars are supposed to be the absolute strongest and need to show they're capable of handling almost any type of demon and situation, most demon slayers don't survive running into a Moon. The Spider Family Arc and the Mugen Train Arc showed this really well. Rui and his fake family killed a ton of demon slayers on that mountain before the Squad showed up and still succeeded in killing Corp members while they were there and interfering, and Kyojuro states they sent several demon slayers on the Mugen Train before sending him in to take care of it.

Sorry this is a super long response ;-;

[usmsgutterson]

Page Eighty-Three- Kaz Brekker

Real (Page Eighty-Three series, part 3)

And thus, here we arrive at the end of the Page Eighty-Three series! I’ve been working on it almost a week now, and had the idea brewing in my brain for two weeks beforehand, so, considering the way that I’ve chosen to publish all the parts, it’s not gonna be a very emotional goodbye for you guys, but for me, oddly enough, it is?

Its the first fic I’ve done that’s been more than two parts, and I guess that adds to it? I don’t know! But, anyways, on with it!

Also, a gentle reminder, I only have Kaz being a little on the touchier side because this is a bit of an AU of sorts, and they’re around twenty four in this last part, which gave him time to work on his trauma more and get comfortable with touch!

Fic type- fluffy as fuck

Warnings- a very brief mention of the flashback in the first chapter (to be specific, nina says ‘stopped you from getting hatecrimed’) and a brief sexual innuendo

T H R E E Y E A R S L A T E R 

You knocked out after you’d killed your father, and went home completely unconscious on Inej’s boat, tucked onto a cot with Kaz at your side. Genya had decided to spend a little time around Ketterdam, get to know the ins and outs and provide intel for Nikolai when he asked for it, and Nina had decided that her home could be Ketterdam for four months of every year. 

Inej did her thing, catching and killing slavers all around the globe, but her visits to Ketterdam became more frequent after you’d gotten back. 

Jesper took your amplifier and made it a project for himself, removing the claw from the obsidian and instead using his fabrikator abilities to turn it into a bracelet that you wore on your right hand, made of gold, with the claw dulled out so that it didn’t poke you when you moved your wrist.

A year after you’d returned home, when yourself and Kaz had gone into his office one morning, book clutched in one of your hands, the other interlaced with Kaz’s fingers, you found a box sitting on his desk.

A note from Zoya was taped to the top of it. 

A top tier bitch deserves a top tier amplifier, it read. Bracelet. Wear it on your right wrist. It’ll go with the bear claw wrapped in gold.

You kept the note, reading it to yourself whenever you needed a laugh, giggling about it with Nina when she needed a laugh, too. 

All of those small moments ended up leading to a much bigger one, though. The day that Kaz proposed. 

It was a pretty simple proposal, but you loved it. 

--

“I had to get advice from Jes about this,” was how he started it, even before he’d gotten down onto one knee. “He proposed to Wylan in the fall, and I know that the Winter makes Ketterdam look absolutely stunning, and I know that you like the scenery, so, well, here we are.” 

You’d been walking around Ketterdam, the clicking of Kaz’s cane against the pavement a soothing sound for the both of you. 

You’d managed to make it near the outskirts of Ketterdam just by walking, as Kaz’s leg was being decent to him and he wanted to walk until you’d arrived at one of the more scenic spots. You indulged him for the sake of it, making sure you took breaks and that he got water when he was tired. 

It’d been snowing, and the sky had yet to darken beyond a light grey. You and Kaz both had snow in your hair, but to one another, it just added to handsomeness, so neither of you moved to brush the snow out of your hair or off your faces. 

“When we were seventeen,” he began, feeling for the box in his pocket. The one with a ring inside, cushioned by red, velvety fabric. “You read me a quote from the book I’d gotten you that day. You’ve memorized just about every poem in it since, and I happen to have done the same thing.” 

“The quote that you read to me was from The Sun and Her Flowers. It was on page eighty three,” he grinned at you, a fully fledged smile. Something he saved for you and you exclusively.

“I’m going to change the wording a bit, because it’s in the past tense, and we’re not past tense. The quote was ‘you were mine, and my life was full,’,” he said. “I’m changing it to ‘you are mine, and my life is full.’ Because thats how I feel.”

“Kaz?” You asked. “Do you have something planned?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he clutched the box.

“I suck at words, so, from Rupi Kaurs book Milk and Honey, I offer you this,” he carefully got down onto a knee, using his cane to keep him steady for a few quiet moments as you realized what was happening. 

“‘You are every hope and dream I’ve ever had, in human form.” He pulled out the ring, opening the box and holding it out to you. “That’s page forty nine, love.” 

“If you can’t think of an answer, please, just-- anything works,” if Jesper had told sixteen year old Kaz Brekker that he’d end up on his knees, begging you for a response to his proposal at just twenty two, he’d have called Jesper crazy.

“Yes,” you mumbled. “Yes, Kaz Brekker. If you’re asking me to marry you, it’s an immediate yes.” He used his cane to get himself up to standing again, slipping the ring onto your ring finger and accepting the hug that you pulled him into.

You were going to marry Kaz Brekker, the love of your life, and you couldn’t wait for it. 

--

The day seemed to come at you quickly, even though you’d not set the date until Winter of year that you turned twenty four. 

First, it was calling Nikolai and asking if you could cash in the reward for killing your father and doing him and the world a justice that they deserved, then it was finding suitable tuxedos and sending out invitations and planning a million different things at once. 

But, eventually, you, Jesper, Wylan, Genya, and Nina, were all on Inejs boat, headed toward the Little Palace.

Then, all of the sudden, you were in the last stretch of time before the wedding. Alina, Mal, Genya, Zoya, and Nina were talking as Genya tailored you, getting rid of some of the blemishes and fixing up little things about your face that you’d asked her to tailor until the end of the ceremony. 

“It’s weird,” Alina said, pressing a kiss to Mals cheek as she glanced at her own wedding ring. “I remember you as this fourteen year old boy who used to gawk at the attractive guys in the Second Army, the boy who resented his powers and swore at his father at any chance that he got, and now you’re and you’re completely different.”

“Different how?”

“Kaz Brekker,” Genya said, running her finger under one of your eyes gently, as to get rid of your eyebags. “He’s good for you.”

“And you don’t resent your powers anymore,” Zoya adds. “You don’t use them often, but you don’t resent them.” 

“You use them, don’t you, mate?” Mal quipped. “Or were my eyes tricking me when I went to wake you and Brekker up this morning, only to find you keeping light out of your room with a flick of your bloody wrist?” 

“I was tired,” you pouted. “Kaz and I both were!”

“Ah, newlyweds,” Nina joked.

“It’s not like that!” You shouted. “Zoya, help me out!”

“He’s able to kiss you now,” she said. “Like, with tongue and stuff. Theres no reason he wouldn’t be able to enjoy a fun little tumble with you here and there!”

“’Tongue, and stuff,’” Mal repeated. “Yes, Zoya, because, as a twenty six year old woman, that’s totally adult phrasing.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to describe it any better,” Nina quipped. Genya and Alina hummed their agreement as Genya moved to your hair, fluffing it and styling it so it that it looked nice as you adjusted the cuffs on your dress shirt. 

“Wheres my blazer?” You asked, grabbing your tie from Genyas lap, tying it as she evened out some of the color near your roots. 

“Closet,” Alina answered. “I’ll get it for you!” Mal checked his watch.

“We’ve got three minutes to get down there,” he said. “Lets make the most of Y/Ns remaining 180 seconds unmarried.” You laughed, rolling your eyes as Genya stood, helping you up after.

Nina shot Genya a glance, and she took the hint, ushering Alina, Mal and Zoya out of the room and passing Nina your blazer as she left. 

Nina helped you into your blazer, running her thumb along your cheek with a smile. 

“I never thought I’d see Kaz Brekker married,” she said. “But hey, I guess stopping you from getting hatecrimed had it’s benefits, didn’t it?” 

You laughed, shrugging.

“I think that we’ll rebuild some of the Slat,” you said. “Make the rooms bigger. Get plaques declaring whos room is whos.”

“A golden plaque with Nina Zenik emblazoned on it?”

“Bolted to your bedroom door, Neens.” 

“I love you, Morozova.” She said, trapping you into a tight hug.

“I love you back, Zenik.” You said. “Now, c’mon. I don’t think anyone would take too kindly to me being late for my own bloody wedding, would they?” 

--

The wedding was small, taking place close to the entrance of the Little Palace. There were no chairs to sit on, but the few guests you’d invited didn’t mind it whatsoever. 

The guest list was fairly small, considering your tight knit little family. Wylan was Kaz’s best man, Your best woman was Nina. The people standing in the small crowd were all familiar faces.

Wylans mother, Marya Hendriks, and Jespers father, Colm Fahey were the oldest there. Among them were Nikolai, Alina, Mal, Genya, Rotty and Specht, and the two members of the Dregs who’d originated the King of the Barrel nicknames. Their names were Terrowin and Kira, and when you caught their eyes, they were beaming at you both.

Jesper was officiating, and as you met his gaze, you remembered how he was practically bouncing off the walls the day that you’d asked him to officiate. 

“Okay, now that they’re both here, we can begin!” Jesper couldn’t hide his excitement.

“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper laughed through the words. He’d not called Kaz ‘Mr. Brekker’ unless he was doing so in a jokey context. You knew that, had it been anyone elses wedding, they’d probably have gotten angry at Jesper for giggling through the words, but for you and Kaz, it just added to an already perfect day. “Do you take Y/N as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” he said. 

“Mr. Morozova,” Jesper glanced at you, and you met his gaze, having to stifle laughter when you realized just how wide his grin was. How happy he seemed. He looked like he was about to start bouncing off the walls and screaming with joy. “Do you take Kaz as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Hells yes,” you said, giggling slightly. For a moment, Kaz let his lips lift into a grin. You matched it with your own smile and took his hand into yours.

“You’ve prepared your own vows, so, Mr. Brekker, sir, you go first!” Kaz glanced at Jesper inquisitively, grin still on his face as he started talking and met your eye.

“I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you,” he said. “And when my heart says something, I’ve learned to listen to it. I love you with my entire heart and so much more, and I hate that I’m not good with words, because that’s all I can say. Nothing else accurately cultivates the feelings I’ve felt for you since that night, when you were broken and bruised underneath that saintsforsaken lamplight. I promise to love you every minute of every day, Brekker.” You’d agreed to change your last name to his. You’d be Y/N Brekker by the end of the night.

“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper said. “Since you’ll be married in a few minutes and I have to get used to that last name on you, you may say your vows!” 

“When I was fifteen, I was caught and beat broken by a group of eight eighteen year olds,” you began. “But you saved my ass before I was killed, and it seems as though our relationship has been a series of saves ever since. Kaz Brekker, with the ring I’m about to put on your finger, I’m promising that I’ll do that forever. Please, though, try to avoid getting yourself kidnapped too often, okay?” His chest shook in silent laughter as he nodded.

“The rings, gentlepeople?” Jesper asked, Nina passed you the ring you’d slip into Kaz’s finger, and Wylan passed Kaz the one he’d put onto yours.

“Put them on,” Jesper said. You and Kaz both glanced at him once more, meeting each others eye thereafter, grinning and shaking your heads. It’d become very clear to you that the twenty four year old who you’d recruited to officiate your wedding was damn near close to letting out an excited squeal. 

Kaz put the ring onto your ring finger and you did the same for him, waiting for Jespers next words as you took a half a step closer to Kaz. 

“Kiss, you idiots!” Jesper said. Kaz laughed, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

He’d kiss you like nothing else later in the evening, when the only thing to bug you was a lamp that you’d left on, but you both agreed that a forehead kiss would be as far as you’d go in front of others. Kisses, to Kaz, were personal, and you respected and loved that about him. 

“Saints, bless this fuckin’ union!” Jesper shouted. You glanced at Alina, who shot you a thumbs up and a nod as the party part of the wedding kicked off. 

Terrowin and Kira were the first people that you and Kaz talked to.

“Did you secure it?” He asked.

“The property?” Terrowin was a Zemeni boy, with skin dark as night and eyes as warm as the sun. 

“Or the trip?” Asked Kira, a girl from Shu Han with hair black as the feathers on a crow and blue eyes as cold as the Fjerdan ice. 

“The property, first and foremost,” he said. “Did you get it? Did you give it the name I asked you to?”

“Yes, and yes,” said Terrowin. “Beside The Silver Six is a bookstore called Page Eighty-Three. It’s scheduled to open in the fall.” Your eyes widened as you made the connection.

“Page eighty-three?” You asked, smirk on your lips. Kaz shrugged.

“And the request?”

“The line from the poem will be put on the wall behind the clerks counter,” Kira said. “Just as you requested.”

“And the trip?”

“Your boat for Novyi Zem leaves in two days, Boss,” Kira said. “Two bells in the afternoon. It’s directly routed to Coftons docks.” Kaz nodded.

“Thank you,” he said. “We’ll see you when Page Eighty-Three opens.” 

“Damn right we will,” you said. Terrowin and Kira laughed as they walked away.

You glanced around the room, spotting Jesper and Wylan perched at a piano, playing the music that everyone was dancing to. Marya and Colm dancing close to them. Nina and Zoya dancing like idiots and laughing throughout. Mal and Inej making conversation and Genya and Alina heading your way.

“Congrats, you two,” Genya said. “Can I expect to see you both tanned and rested up when you get back from Novyi Zem?” 

“You’ll be in Ketterdam?” You asked. Genya nodded.

“For a couple of months, to make sure that your Jesper friend doesn’t colossally fuck things up while your friend Inej is doing her thing on the open ocean,” Alina said. “I’m there to visit for a bit, under the radar.” 

“Thank you, Alina,” he said. “Thank you both. For everything that you’ve done in these past years.” 

“No biggie, Brekker,” Alina said. “I don’t know you that well, but I see how happy you make Y/N, and he’s like a little brother. I care about his happiness.” 

“You two are absolutely bloody adorable,” Genya said. “Now, back to my question, will you be tan, or at the very least, well rested, upon your return?”

“Kaz is pale,” you said. “He’ll burn like a crisp. Me? I don’t really know. I guess it depends.” 

“We’ll be well rested,” Kaz said. “He’s a darkling. He can create shadow. I fully intend to use that to keep the sun out in the mornings.” 

“I won’t do whatever you ask of me!” You quipped.

“You had no issue with that last night,” he said, raising a teasing eyebrow. “Or this morning!”

“Mal was right!” Alina shouted, her and Genya bursting into giggles. “Damn it, I hate it when that happens!” You laughed.

You took another glance around you, spotting your friends.

No, wait. Scratch that.

Not your friends.

Your family. 

Your family was having a good time, eating, talking, dancing, laughing. They were enjoying themselves and congratulating you as you talked to Alina and Genya. 

Kaz had an arm around your waist, his cheek pressed against the side of your head as his other hand gently turned your wedding ring around on your finger. He was talking to people without arguing with them. He was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered to him.

Your life was perfect.

Kaz was yours, you were his, and your life was full. 

--------

tags: @whateverfandom00 @a-c-lee @incorrectquotesconaisseur @the7seannas​ @teatimeforusreaders​ @hunnybunimdun​

[amiramorozova]

Dual Summoner x The Darkling pt. 33

Pairing: Dual Summoner Amira Silina and Darkling General Kirigan/ Aleksander Morozova

Word count: 1408

Once the boat had everyone on it and Zoya at the sail we looked at the Fold, I was getting scared and I think Aleksander could tell as he pulled me close before removing my cloak. I wasn't tied to the boat so I could move freely and the inferni that was coming explained it easily. We kept positions and stayed calm with the blue light until I would make the tunnel.

Can I do this? I thought 

I motioned for David to come over and he did as I walked over to Aleksander. I knew if this was going to be how we lived then this piece of the stag couldn't be sticking out of his hand. "What are you doing?" Aleksander asked as I told David to use his Grisha power. Aleksander watched as I manipulated the piece to where only the sun summoner symbol remained on his hand. "You'd look silly at our wedding with it sticking out but keep in mind I manipulated it with David's power to be this way if you betray me I can remove it." I said 

Aleksander had a look of realization on his face seeing that Baghra taught me well, something crossed my mind a few times. The cut, Merzost, things I might be able to use someday as Baghra's student, Aleksander's equal but not without its consequences on Merzost, I questioned what it may have been for him at what cost. Then I remembered what Baghra told me about the fold women, children, and men were turned into Volcra. 

Once we were inside I stood there waiting as I heard them keeping quiet, the sails going and I tried my best to stay calm. Aleksander motioned me over to him as I walked over and we listened to the Volcra. I heard some of the nobles asking why I hadn't made the tunnel yet but Aleksander was more in charge at this time. I looked back at my family members, my father and Grandmother who both nod if anything were to go wrong. 

"Aleksander I can do this now, let me just open the tunnel for us." I said, Aleksander just looked at me for a minute debating as we were in the middle before he put a hand on my shoulder. I felt the power of the sunburst out as I shook my head after the tunnel was made. This power was exhilarating and I had just as much claim to it as he did only since this was on my terms that we did this together. 

Aleksander had the skiff stop and I looked at him seeing he was looking at West Ravka, also known as Novokribirsk. We stood there at the edge of the skiff looking at General Zlatan waiting to greet us. "Well what do you want, Amira?" Aleksander asked as I looked at him knowing everyone was waiting for his orders. "I could swallow them in the shadows." As much as I knew Zlatan would deserve it I shook my head at Aleksander knowing I would deal with Zlatan. "If he sends people to attack us, Show no mercy but innocents are to be kept alive." I said as I saw Aleksander pull me close and get close to my ear "Spoken like a leader Moye Serdtse." 

I saw my father was watching us and I kept my calm since I was still in control here for the most part. This was for us, I had swayed his original intention as he had Zoya move the ship forward. I walked away from him as I gathered with my family, my parents and grandparents along with my cousin and Aunt looked at me. "Stay alert, if they try to harm us, fight back." I said as they all nodded. "To the people I am their Sol Koroleva, and if I wanted to we could all destroy the fold right here." My aunt looked at me as to why I wasn't able to do so at this time but I knew my powers were nowhere near the amount needed and I wouldn't waste my family's power.

As we made it to the docks I put my hands together behind my back just in case because I had plans to personally speak with General Zlatan. As expected we docked and the men were coming up on board to harm us. My family and I gently used our powers and knocked them back. I'd focused my power just a bit too much and unintentionally used the cut right at their feet as they stepped back. 

"Impossible." The first soldier men said

I hadn't registered what I did as they backed up and I motioned for them to get off the skiff. They followed as they bowed their heads and I breathed a bit hard as I felt someone behind me support me a bit. "When did you learn to use the cut with light?" Aleksander asked seriously, I shrugged a bit as we started to lead the nobles off. "Thank you Sol Koroleva for protecting us." The noble said 

As much as I wanted to go over and throw Zlatan in the fold, I had morals about myself as we walked over. "General Zlatan, what is the meaning of this?" I asked before Aleksander could even say anything. "General, I see you're letting your Grisha 2nd army soldiers now speak out of line." General Zlatan said. Aleksander merely secured his arm around me as I noticed a smirk from the corner of his eyes. "I would show some respect, General Zlatan, to my Fiancé the Sun Summoner who is also Tidemaker. Our first known Dual Summoner." Aleksander said 

General Zlatan seemed to be surprised but when he went to talk I just raised my hand to cut him off before he started. "I find your acts to be treason against Grisha and the nobles who were crossing the fold. If I had the authority you would be stripped of your title as General but that is not my choice." I said as I noticed my actions only were empowering Aleksander's ego. "I will look past it while we are on this side of Ravka, to keep peace with all of Ravka we need supplies for the other side that will take a few days." 

Aleksander led me away seeing General Zlatan's expression "I couldn't be more impressed and not many people can do that." Aleksander reminded me as I smiled. We found arrangements for everyone and though I didn't mind, I wanted Genya. I laid on the makeshift bed in the tent as I thought about everything. Then I heard people running in saying that the King had become ill and the Apparat was in charge but had gone missing. When we were alone I laid on the makeshift bed as I looked at Aleksander's back.

"Did you have something to do with the King?" I asked, I wanted to get Genya away from the royals but he just looked back at me. "I may have helped in what he was getting, Genya needed assistance." Aleksander said that I was already aware of the rumors but then I knew that there was so much more going on. "Something is on your mind."

I smiled as I looked up at the tent, we were stuck here till everything was put together and that meant more freedom. "You're planning to rule, I want Genya on my side. I want to get her away from her servitude and help her." Aleksander sighed a bit as he didn't say a whole lot "The King might recover, but if we come into power soon we could overthrow anyone." I sighed a bit knowing he was right but at the same time, there was no rush to get married under urgency. He sat by me while I laid on the makeshift bed putting a hand on my cheek as I pulled him down to me, our lips meeting in a kiss. I needed to say this now before I backed out again before anything else gave me a reason to avoid it after we part.

"I love you Aleksander, you are Moye Serdtse." I said with a smile, he looked down at me with those dark eyes that matched his power and the shadow fold putting a hand on my cheek. "I love you too Amira, Moye Serdtse and moya Sol Koroleva

[dudeandduchess]

Hello! Can I have some fluff with Sanemi learning that his S/O is pregnant? With him realizing that even though he lost his first family, he'll have a new one soon? Please, with Genya being alive

Hello, bby! I hope this is fine with you, as a friend also requested this scenario. Same premise, different delivery? But if you have any other requests, please feel free to send them to me. :D

***

Sanemi x F!Reader: Unexpected Surprise (SFW Scenario):

Warnings: Language bc it’s Sanemi

Sanemi had been in the midst of a pillar meeting when it happened.

He’d left his crow with (Y/n) so she could let him know when the baby was coming, and the time was at that very moment. The messenger landed next to him, and started crowing out news that he’d least expected.

“Triplets. Shinazugawa (Y/n) has given birth to triplets. Two boys, and one girl,” Sanemi’s crow announced at the top of its lungs, which had every set of eyes looking towards the Wind Hashira.

And normally, he would have liked the attention, except for that moment— because he knew that he looked like he must have seen a ghost.

His entire body felt numb; even the tips of his fingers felt frozen in fear, as he was just expecting one child— not three.

“Are you alright, Shinazugawa?” Rengoku asked, as his own eyebrows knitted together in worry. His comrade had looked better while he was slashing at demons, as opposed to how he looked at that moment.

Sanemi remained quiet though, as the word ‘triplets’ kept running through his mind. He felt like he was going to snap sooner, rather than later.

“Here, Shinazugawa, have some water,” Giyuu offered his comrade flatly, all while holding out his own water gourd.

Sanemi wanted to snap at the Water Hashira, but bit his tongue and reluctantly accepted the water container instead. Then slowly, he uncapped the gourd and gulped down the cool water inside.

He practically finished it off in one go; yet his mouth still felt as dry as sandpaper.

Sanemi couldn’t believe it. He really was going to have kids— three kids, to boot! And to think that he’d asked for just one extra member of his and (Y/n)’s family...

It was as if the gods were giving him another shot at making things right— with his own kids. They were giving him the chance to give them everything that he couldn’t give his own brothers and sisters.

And that notion scared him shitless.

Because what if he made a mistake? What if they didn’t like him? What if he ended up like his own father?

His own insecurities kept harping at him, until a solid thump against his back knocked the invisible blockage in his airways loose. And after that, he could breathe again.

“You’re going to be a great father, Shinazugawa,” Giyuu encouraged him with the tiniest of smiles.

He wanted to snap at Tomioka for even daring to touch him but, for once, he felt grateful towards the other man. It didn’t mean that he was going to say it aloud, however.

“I... Oyakata-sama, I apologize, but...” Sanemi didn’t even have to continue, as his Master cut him off with that eternally gentle tone of his.

“I completely understand, Sanemi. We can discuss your reports at a later time.” The older man smiled at him, and Sanemi swore that he could feel his eyes tear up at how pure and wholesome that felt. “Please give my best regards to (Y/n)... and your children. Congratulations, Sanemi.”

With one last bow, and his sincerest thanks, the Wind Hashira set off for his home.

It didn’t take long for him to get there, even though it was usually a two-hour trek away. What with the speed his legs carried him, he made it there in half the time.

And when he did manage to enter his and his wife’s home, he could feel his heart pounding erratically in his chest— however, that had very little to do with the distance he just ran, and more to do with how he felt towards seeing his own children for the first time.

‘Fucking breathe, Shinazugawa. You’ve gone through worse.’ He mentally reminded himself, as he padded silently towards the makeshift delivery room.

He had done it for (Y/n)’s sake, as he didn’t want her walking out and about the village right before she gave birth. So, he practically brought the clinic to her.

After experiencing all of the hardships entailed with being impoverished, he reckoned that there was no expense too great for his own family— since he had the money to spare for it, as well.

However, when he was right outside the medical room, he felt his entire body pause as the piercing cries of babies cut through the air.

His heart stuttered in his chest, and his eyes widened— all while tears stung the backs of them. He felt so unhinged just from hearing them cry; he couldn’t even imagine how it would be like when he finally saw them.

So, with a trembling hand, he reached out and slid the shoji open an inch. Then, he proceeded to peer into the room— if only to get a proper feel of it.

It really wasn’t like him to be cautious or scared, but the mere thought of those triplets being his kids scared the heck out of him.

Besides, no matter how much he hated to admit it: Tomioka was right. He was going to be a great father, because he knew all the things not to do to his children— much like his father had done to him, his siblings, and his mother.

He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes.

“Sanemi?” (Y/n)’s melodious voice rang out and caressed his ears softly, and he took that as his chance to actually enter the room— albeit a tad hesitantly. “Come here so you can hold the babies.”

It was a flurry of motion after that. He’d always prided himself with being very astute but, at that moment, he didn’t know which was up from down as the nurses pulled him over to his wife and practically shoved two swathed bundles into his arms.

He looked down at the tiny infants he held, and his breath caught in his throat. They both had his hair and his trademark eyelashes. Even asleep, he could tell that they were quite the lookers.

His heart felt so heavy in his chest, with all the love he had for them multiplying at a fast rate.

But when he looked over at (Y/n) and saw the pink-swathed bundle in her arms... he swore that the world had stopped.

Because he felt as if he had fallen in love all over again.

“Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world, (Y/n).”

[linkspooky]

Pathetic Little Brother

What makes Kimetsu no Yaiba special as a manga is that fights are not just an oppurtunity to show off the cool powers of the invidual characters and new breathing styles. The fights, especially in the latest and most likely final arc are thematic in their set up, to the point that every single character involved in the fight will be connected. All of those characters share something in common. 

Gyomei, Sanemi, Tokito, Genya and Kokushibou are all bound by the idea of family, especially the connection between siblings, and the ways that vitally important family connection can go wrong. MORE UNDER THE CUT. 

There are so many parallels in this fight, that in an attempt to cover them all I am going to break them into sections. The common thematic connection betwen all of these however all focus around the ideas of miscommunication, the harm of self sacrifice, and how important family is to identity. 

1. Tokito and Kokushibou

The first connection introduced is between upper moon Kokishoubo and pillar Tokito. Besides being connected by blood, Tokito and Kokushibou both led lives with several parallels to one another.The two of them both grew up with a twin brother. That twin is someone incredibly important to them, a person they consider their only real family after having lost all of their other family. Yet despite the importance of that person they each experience a frayed relationship with their twin rife with miscommunication. 

Kokushibou and Tokito have twin brothers who are incredibly important to them, but both of them fail to understand their only brother in the end because there was no communication in the relationship at all from either side. This lack of communication is painted as something that inevitably leads to resentment no matter how well intentioned it was. 

In both families it seemed that older and younger sibling had a ‘role” so to speak. The older sibling was the frank, cold, and angry one. The younger sibling is the meek, but kind and thoughtful brother. Kokushibou was the older brother in his family, and Tokito was the younger brother. They also both become the only surviving twin long after their brother has passed, and survive with incredibly incomplete feelings on what happened between them and their brother with almost no closure. 

In both cases though it’s painted as a complete lack of communication that led to the breakdown of the relationship. All the Tokito siblings have is each other, but the two of them stop talking entirely which makes it impossible for either of them to understand the other’s feelings.Both siblings have a deep affection for the other and view the other as an incredibly important person, but those feelings never reach them because of an unwillingness to communicate. 

It’s because the brothers are always trying to show those feelings in indirect ways rather than just trying to speak honestly with one another. Older Tokito’s feelings for his brother manifested in his protectiveness. In the case of both older brothers, their feelings of admiration for their brother also manifest in a sense of inferiority in themselves. They both define themselves as the ‘bad one’ in comparison to their brother. It’s just they both act on their inferiority in different ways, one resents, the other tries to protect. 

However, older Yuuichirou’s brand of protecting turned into constantly verbally berating him. Which made it ocmpletely impossible for Tokito to understand his brother’s feelings for him, or what his brother was trying to do and ruined the entire relationship no matter how well intentioned it was. 

In both cases the older brothers always view themselves as an unkind, and unchosen person who is incapable of being good in the same way their younger brother is. The younger brother is also, completely incapable of noticing those feelings the older brother held and being able to help them in any significant way. 

His older brother was well intentioned but his death, and self sacrifice leaves Tokito so emotionally damaged that he loses all of the memories he had of himself. He literally loses his identity because he lost the family that was most important to him. Self sacrifice in this case is framed as a well-intentioned, but also tragic thing that leads to inflicting more harm then helping.

Because again it’s the case of the brothers showing their affection to each other in indirect ways, rather than telling each other how they feel. In that way, both brothers are left alone to have their emotions fester instead of being unable to communicate it in a clear way.

Yoriichi is presented as someone incredibly selfless and caring but absolutely terrible at communication, to the point where it is a flaw. The same way that Yuichirou always shut out his brother, Yoriichi never communicates his brothers importance to him except by actions of self sacrifice. Not only that but Yoriichi’s poorly chosen words make it appear like he’s looking down on his older brother who spent his entire life wanting to chase one passion. 

Kokushibou is so insecure because basically he’s directing all of his feelings at a big, white, wall that cannot communicate with him in any way. Of course his emotions fester because he’s left almost entirely alone in them. Both of the brothers are each other’s only significant family and yet neither of them can understand that about the other. Kokushibou was kind to Yoriichi even before he knew that he was talented, when he was just a pitiable younger brother he still gave him a flute and gave him gifts behind his father’s back. Yoriichi cares about his brother just as much, but he only ever shows it in indirect ways and gestures that Kokushibou himself never asked for. 

Yoriichi’s act of self sacrifice is presented as something that ruined their entire relationship. Instead of communicating how much he wanted to stay and remain family with his brother, Yoriichi leaves him alone and does the “noble thing” of sacrificing himself and that destroys any chance they have of being a family. The same way that Yuichiro cannt simply communicate he wants his brother to stay safe and instead chooses an action that protects him against is own brother’s wishes. Younger Tokito did not want his brother to cosntantly berate and humiliate him in order to be protected by him. Kokushibou did not ask his brother to sacrifice himself for his sake. 

Their relationship was at their best when both Yoriichi and Kokushibou believed they would stay together. The happy memory that Kokushibou recalls is becoming the strongest and second strongest samurais in the lands together. However, by severing that bnod between them for Kokushibou’s sake, by choosing to protect him rather than stay as his brother their bond is permanently ruined. Not only that, but family is once again so important to Kokushibou.

His brother was always the most important person to him, and losing that connection and letting it fester until it rot like Yoriichi did because he absolutely cannot communicate at all, is something that leaves Kokushibou entirely empty the same way Tokito was. Tokito loses his identity by losing his memories, Kokushibou loses his identity because he spent his entire life empty and unfulfilled.

And that’s why the bond between them was severely unhealthy. By defining himself as the inferior, bad one and Yoriichi himself doing nothing to correct that, he’s never able to be equals with his brother which is obviously what Kokushibou desperately wants. He longs for that connection with his brother where both of them can be equal family members, and because he does not have it, he cannot enjoy a single thing about his life and continually feels unworthy. He views himself as someone useless and completely expendable. His family relationship in the end completely destroyed him rather than reaffirming his worth and value as a person. Family can build you up, or family can destroy you. 

2. Genya and Sanemi

Genya and Sanemi are another older sibling younger sibling pair who are both fiercely protective of one another, and yet at the same time cannot enjoy each other’s love because of the severe miscommunication that happens in their relationship. 

Just like in the case of the Tokito brothers, both Genya and Sanemi have moments of being incredibly cruel to their sibling. In that same case, Muichiro and Genya both the younger siblings do not consider the feelings of their older brother at all. Yoriichi is also fundamentally someone who never once understood how his older brother felt, or how he was making him feel. Genya of the three seems to realize the most of how devastating this was. How not bothering to try to understand the actions of his own older sibling must have hurt. 

In each case, all three sets of brothers are also the only family they have left. Genya and Sanemi were the only survivors, Muichiro and Yuichiro were both orphaned and live together for a year, Kokushibou was the only one besides their mother who showed any kindness to his brother Yorichii and all and valued him as a person before he showed off what he could do with a sword. 

That is why being told this by your only real family is framed as something completely devastating. Being misunderstood by the one person in your life who should understand you invalidates your own efelings, and this leads to further and further miscommunications. 

Genya and Sanemi are presented as at their best, their most happiest when they are both together. Just like in the case of Yoriichi and Kokushibou. They wanted to be together, and wanted to be equals. However, the tendency towards miscommunciations and each brother isolating themselves is what eventually drives them further and further apart and further away from what they want. 

The idea that Sanemi does not accept him, compeltely destroys Genya’s self esteem. The idea that they are no longer brothers is what causes Genya to be constantly insecure and desperate to be stronger. Genya is unable to understand his brother’s feelings for him on his own, and Sanemi also makes no attempt to communicate them in a healthy way. 

Sanemi’s wish to protect his brother, is ironically what drove him directly into danger. If Sanemi had been straightforward and honest instead of being cruel to is brother in order to protect him the same way Yuichirou was, then Genya would not have felt the need to constantly put himself into danger in order to prove that he was still Sanemi’s brother. 

Sanemi is well intentioned again, but again in the case of Yoriichi, and Yuichiro his self sacrifice in the end only inflicts harm on his brother. The brothers were best when they both agreed they would protect everyone together, but ever since that day Sanemi decided that he would sacrifice himself and become the only one who fought as a demon hunter while his brother lived a happy life. 

Both brothers are constantly destroying themselves to protect the other. Genya devours demons because he wants to be strong enough to protect Sanemi, Sanemi lived for years alone fighting demons so he could protect Genya from them and allow Genya to live a happy life. However, due to the fact that neither of them are acting together, and instead both acting alone they cannot understand each other. They fail to protect the person they most want to protect. 

3. Gyomei and Sanemi

Gyomei does not have a sibling, but his backstory heavily parallels Sanemi’s. Both of them fought with all they could to protect someone important to them, only to be blamed instead of thanked by the person they wanted to protect. 

This idea itself demonstrates that Self-sacrifice is not necessarily something good, or even something you will be thanked for. It’s called sacrifice for a reason, it inflicts harm on yourself, you are sacrificing something. Due to the fact that he sacrificed everything to protect one person, and then lost them, Gyomei became disillusioned with what he was fighting for. 

Gyomei constantly rambles about good and bad kids, and because of his tragedy he’s come to believe that certain children are selfish and certain are selfless. It’s also a tragedy of miscommunication in the first place, because if the children had simply listened to him they never would have happened in the first place.

However, Gyomei has forgotten the reason he was fighting. It was not to be thanked, it was because the children were good or bad, he was a kind-hearted person who wanted to give everything he had to protect those kids. 

It’s a good example to show how the urge to protect someone, and the want to fight to protect them can so easily become misguided, especially in a gentle person like Gyomei. Gyomei became stronger as a result of that fight, be he also lost something, the quiet and kind nature he had cultivated living with those children in the mountains. Losing his family was equally as devastating for him as it was for Muichiro, and Genya.

We even see Gyomei start to remember a little bit through his connection with Tanjirou, just what it was he wanted to fight for in the past. A long gone feeling he had forgotten. 

Which is the shared flaw between Gyomei and Sanemi. Their efforts to get stronger to protect the people they want to protect, only end up driving them further and further away. Gyomei and Sanemi are increidbly quiet and thoguhtful people who are always trying to look out for others, but because of their tremendous strength, and their loud personalities it’s hard to realize that about them at first brush. They keep their gentleness on the inside buried under their strength (yes Gyomei cries in public but it’s kind of... in a hard to understand and relate with others way).  They are generous and kind people who do not allow themselves to be seen that way. Sanemi hides behind his cruel tongue, and the vicious way he presents himself, and Gyomei hides behind his stoicism, but both of them are at their core denying their emotions in ways to make them appear strong in a clasically masucline sense (either having no emotions, or being angry all the time). 

They are also both very isolated people who are bad with communication, but who fight with a genuine wish to protect others. The reason Sanemi’s body is covered in scars, because he literally lets himself be cut into pieces by demons and then fights all on his own. He lures themself with his blood, and his main way of fighting has always been to injure himself at the same time.

Gyomei and Sanemi are both incredibly strong people, but their strength causes them to isolate themselves. They both have an unhealthy mentality of if they sacrifice themselves everything would be fine, because the people they love would still be able to be happy. 

Which is why they always end up fighting alone. But Gyomei’s story shows this is not the case, sacrificing everything for Sayo, only to have Sayo turn on him too meaning Sayo was safe but he had lost his entire family did not make Gyomei happy at all. It only left him bitter and incredibly isolated. So while sacrificing yourself for the sake of your loved ones so they can live on is an ideal, we’re shown the consequences of it and the reality in both Sanemi and Gyomei’s characters. 

Especially since isolating themselves, being strong so they can fight all on their own and protect the people they want to protect does not work for either of them in the end. Sanemi became a demon slayer to protect Genya. Gyomei became a demon slayer to protect children. The fight concludes with both of them failing to protect what they wanted to protect, as both Genya and Muichiro (the youngest people there, therefore a complete failure to protect the children again on Gyomei’s part despite what he was fighting for) sacrifice themselves.

Genya and Muichiro choose to sacrifice themselves for the same reasons that Sanemi and Gyomei were trying to sarifice themselves. Genya and Muichiro believe that they are both indiivdually worthless, and less important than Gyomei and Sanemi and therefore their lives are expendable. 

Yoriichi is the same, always sacrificing himself without thinking about the feelings of his brother who never asked him to do these things for his sake. In this battle we see the deconstruction of self sacrifice as something that saves other people, because in all three cases it is something that harms and destroys no matter how well intentioned it is. 

In the case of all three characters, they only wanted to be an equal with their family. Genya and Sanemi wanted to go back to being brothers. Yorichii and Kokushibou wanted to become the two strongest samurai together. Gyomei wanted to stay with his small family in the mountaints forever. Muichiro wanted to understand his brother. However, in the end all they can do when they are alone is comintue to fight. 

[aelsell]

verse description. I am the Storm 

Open to all. This verse is based on general headcanons for a witch-verse, created together with @aeliell / @aelernil / @bowmaiiden and serves as an AU for the Italian Netflix show Luna Nera with @meinliied.  Time eras available: 17th century, Modern Times, more to be added Short summary: Tilda and her siblings are the children of a powerful warlock. Their magic is closely linked to water, but since Tilda's powers are also linked to her emotions she cannot fully control them. Hers are the storms to command. In the 17th century she encounters a young man and falls madly in love. He is the son of a witch-hunter though and their story is bound for tragedy. In the end, Tilda discovers a darker side to her magic. Modern times: Tilda, as well as her siblings, made a deal with Death himself, ensuring their immortality in exchange for bringing him souls. She is still a powerful witch, but her magic is slipping in and out of her control while Tilda dances along the edge of madness. Throughout the last centuries, she has seen countless deaths, watched her loved ones ripped from her embrace again and again. Her thirst for vengeance is ever-growing and the Benandanti remain her worst enemy to this date. Further headcanons to be added / added: 

Powers

A Guiding Light ( Friends )

A New Hope ( Drystan )

Benandanti ( historical context )

Lancelot, Rapunzel, Ostara, and Hulda

Tilda’s escape and Georg’s Death 

Comparison Konstantin to Main verse

Alduin, lightning to her storm

Nephele, her legacy

I follow the Moon crossover / AU

Playlist

History:

The youngest of three children Tilda grew up protected and loved. They lived close to a lake and the water ran through her blood like the magic of her ancestors. As children of a powerful Warlock, she and her siblings learned the truth about their abilities early on. While Sigrid was a capable witch and her brother Bain grew up to be a powerful seer, Tilda herself always lacked control of her powers. They were a whirlwind inside her, thunderstorms instead of drizzling rain. She could neither control her emotions nor her magic, always on the edge of bursting. A nearby lord, ruler of the Daseburg, hires the warlock Bard on more than one occasion. In comparison to most locals, he is close to the magic because he once loved a witch himself. An early betrothal between the lord's son Konstantin and Tilda backfires as both children have quite a different view of life and honour. But her visits to the Daseburg bring Tilda close friends and allies. Konstantin is the first man she ever imagines to love. Their father disappeared, most likely killed by a powerful witch-hunter named Smaug, who brought fire and destruction into their home. It was after that terrible incident that Tilda and her siblings were taken in by a coven of witches, hiding in the woods. Their leader, Mistress Hulda, tried her best to teach Tilda control. But the noisy child had a short temper and an even worse skill for concentration.

Tilda's siblings found their own paths while the youngest stayed with the coven, growing up protected and loved, cherished and molded into a strong and capable witch. But the threat of the storm always lingered, in the back of her throat, in the depths of her heart.

Not all was peaceful though for in the nearest city and all around the country witch-hunters grew more and more in number. One of the most dangerous ones was Heinrich von Reuß, a powerful count who believed that all witchcraft was sent by devil and death, making the women that practiced any form of it his sworn enemies. He hunted them down, tortured and killed them. Leader of the fearless Benandanti Heinrich soon grew into the personification of a nightmare.

Mistress Hulda ( @krxkor ) and her coven set out to find and rescue poor girls, their numbers growing and dwindling alike as the night battles against the Benandanti became more and more dangerous. One of Tilda's closest friends was finally captured and sentenced to die at the stake. Though they tried their best to save her the enemy was too strong. And Tilda had to watch her friend burn.

The emotions within her tumbled and collapsed, leading to a burst of magic that conjured a thunderstorm. It was at this moment, as Tilda collapsed upon the stones of the city that she met Wilhelm, Heinrich von Reuß's firstborn son. Against better judgment, he reached out to help her and the two of them grew closer over time. Tilda learned that Wilhelm, who had once set out to study law in the eternal city of Rome, was not fond of his father's endeavors. In fact, he did not believe in witchcraft, at least not to all extent. Which is why Wilhelm struggles with the path his family has chosen for him.

Love blooms between the two of them that seems strong and everlasting. But not strong enough to survive the test of fate. For it does not take long until the Benandanti find Tilda, as she tries to sneak back to their stronghold within the forest, and she is forced to fight them, killing Wilhelm's younger brother Georg, heir to the family trade.

Wilhelm is devastated, while Tilda loses all grip upon reality. She feels as if her own coven turns against her, she loses the love of her life, and suddenly she is all alone in darkness. Wilhelm steps up to lead the Benandanti, stepping into his father's shoes at last, while Tilda wanders the woods alone and afraid, encompassed by darkness.

It is in that dire and fragile state that she comes upon another hedgewitch, Rapunzel( @krxkor ). Rapunzel has chosen a darker path for herself, trading souls with death and evil spirits to ensure her own immortality. It is powerful magic that she calls her own, magic she is more than willing to teach Tilda. And so the storm within her grows louder and bigger, darker and colder, as Tilda discovers a side of the world that has been hidden from her until that day.

Tilda returns to Daseburg one more, searching for her old friends. The lord's son Konstantin has died in a terrible accident though, as his half-sister, Genya ( @razrushosta ) now tells Tilda. Genya, a member of the coven herself tries to help the young and confused girl, but Tilda has already slipped too far into madness. She turns to the woods, to the dark creatures living there and grows her powers in seclusion. When Genya comes upon her again, telling her that it was indeed the witch Rapunzel that took Konstantin's soul, Tilda's own darkness is already linked too close to Rapunzel and her witchcraft.

It is only years later that Wilhelm and Tilda meet again. For she has returned to fight the Benandanti once more upon hearing that another of her old friends is now in grave danger of being burned alive. Her magic is strong now, but still uncontrollable. She faces Wilhelm, realizing that in all her years of solitude the love she feels for him has only grown. He, on the other hand, has nursed hatred and defiance towards her.

In a battle between the Benandanti and the witches Wilhelm is gravely wounded and Tilda turns to heal him, breaking every rule her old coven ever had. The witch-hunter wakes in the forest fortress only to find Tilda and her son ( @childrenxofxdale​ ) playing outside, a vision of a future that could have been possible for him, had fate not acted against them all these years ago.

Meanwhile, Wilhelm's younger sister Maria discovers powers of her own while the remaining Benandanti, now lead by Wilhelm's trusted friend Lancelot, search for the witch that has taken their leader.

[writinginstardust]

Can’t Fight Love

Pairing: Isaak Andreyev x reader

Warnings: brief mentions of being stabbed, tiny bit of suggestive conversation

A/N: this was supposed to be really short but i’m me so 🤷‍♀️ is there even much point me explaining anything or talking here? there’s like 1 person who’s gonna read this. it’s cutish so enjoy! (oh also I seem to have a little bit of an obsession with Isaak’s hair and still have an inability to come up with decent titles)

Word Count: 3285

*

We were sparring the last time I saw Isaak.

"Your stance was off," he said, his face mere inches from my own and our bodies entirely too close for me to form cohesive thoughts.

"Shut up," I mumbled trying to ignore the heat radiating from his body and what could be a rather compromising position. It was about all I could manage.

"Don't be a sore loser." He grinned as he lifted his weight off me. It was a relief to put some space between us but I couldn't help mourning the loss of contact. He held out a hand and effortlessly pulled me to my feet as I took it. "Want to go again?"

"Sure, if you think you can handle it," I said with a smirk, feigning far more confidence than I had any right to. He rolled his eyes.

"Well I've beat you the last 6 rounds so I think I probably can."

"Don't get cocky on me Andreyev."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He grinned and we got into position. We were actually pretty evenly matched so I knew I could beat him if I wanted and he knew it too. I'd been holding back before, but not this time.

"Ha. Now who's stance was off?" I panted once I'd finally got him pinned.

"Still yours." He grinned and Saints did he look gorgeous. His hair, damp with sweat, messy and beginning to curl a little, some of it sticking to his skin which was flushed from the exertion. His chest heaving as he caught his breath, occasionally brushing against my own where I was leant over him to hold down his hands. His eyes, alight with mirth, staring up at me, so close I could pick out hundreds of different shades of brown within them.

"Well I still won so…" I shrugged and sat up, dragging a hand across my brow to wipe away the sweat. "Want to call it a day?" Before he could answer a voice from the training room door cut in.

"I'm afraid he'll have to." We both looked over to find Tolya standing there. "The Triumvirate require his presence." We stared at him in surprise for a few moments before Isaak sat up and I realised I was still sat on him. I quickly climbed to my feet and offered him a hand.

"Do I have time to wash first?" Isaak asked.

"If you're quick."

"I better get to it then." He squeezed my hand and smiled at me. "I'll see you later (Y/N)."

"See you." And he left.

That was 3 weeks ago. Tamar had told me he was needed for an important, top secret assignment and not to worry but it hadn't stopped me. He could be dead or hurt and i wouldn't even know. He hadn't even said goodbye and it hurt. So, when I got called off duty the evening after Nikolai's party with the news that Isaak was in the infirmary, my heart leapt into my throat and I immediately assumed the worst. It took a lot of self-control not to run across the whole palace just to see him sooner and assure myself that he was okay.

When I reached the infirmary, I found him sitting up in bed looking...not quite himself. His eyes just slightly too light and his hair a little too blond. And of course the scar visible on his bare chest wasn't right either.

His face lit up when he saw me and he beckoned me over. I hesitated for just a moment when I noticed Nikolai, the Bataar twins, and the entire Triumvirate taking up much of the space around his bed. They all looked between Isaak and I knowingly. It was as if they could sense I was in love with him though I had no idea how. I was worried that Isaak himself might know, he knew me so well and if they'd all realised then how could he have not?

"Ah, (Y/N), lovely to see you," Nikolai said with a welcoming smile. "How's the family? Has your sister had her baby yet?" I was surprised he remembered that with all that had been going on. But then that was just another of the reasons he was such a good King. He remembered everyone.

"They're quite well thank you. Katya had twins last week." I immediately felt more at ease and moved to take a seat beside Isaak.

"Girls?"

"Yes, thankfully. Hopefully I'll be able to go home to meet them soon."

"Take next week, I'll sort it out for you."

"That's very kind of you mon tsar."

"It's no trouble, family is important. Now, there's a few things you deserve to have explained to you about the past few weeks but we'll give you two a few minutes first. I have a feeling you need it." He looked between Isaak and I with a small smile before ushering the others away. They didn't go far though, staying within earshot at the bed of a Shu girl who was the room's only other occupant. All of them tried to look like they weren't eavesdropping but i could tell they were paying more attention to us than whatever conversation they were having. It didn't particularly bother me though. Not when I finally had Isaak back.

"Hi," he said, his adorable sheepish smile creeping onto his face.

"...Hi? ...Really? You disappear for 3 weeks without so much as a goodbye, turn up in a hospital bed, and you're going with hi?" He deflated a little and I instantly felt awful.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're alright." I smiled and squeezed his hand. "I'm going to need an explanation for this though." I tapped the scar on his chest.

"I...uh...might have gotten a little bit stabbed."

"YOU WHAT!?" I yelled and could feel tension seep into the air.

"Not to criticise, Isaak," Nikolai said into the charged silence that followed, "but you perhaps should have considered approaching that particular subject with a little more tact."

"You better have a good explanation for this."

"And he does. For the past few weeks Isaak has been pretending to be me and unfortunately suffered an assassination attempt by the Shu last night." My heart lurched fearfully even though it had already happened.

"Ow." I looked at Isaak and found him wincing in pain at the tightened grip I had on his hand.

"Sorry," I said distractedly as I loosened my hold. What Nikolai said just wasn't comprehensible which is why my first question threw everyone off so badly. "So is that why your hair and eyes don't look right?"

Genya blinked at me. "They're not right?"

"No," I shook my head, trying to clear it, and twirled one of Isaak's curls around a finger. "Too light, and his hair's still too blond." Isaak's cheeks turned a little pink under both our gazes and I felt a soft smile stretch my lips. Until I remembered why we were here and I snapped back out of it.

“Wait, why were you impersonating Nikolai?” Isaak’s eyes flicked to the others in question and mine followed. They nodded at him and he finally answered.

“Because Nikolai was missing until last night. They asked me to step in with all the foreign guests coming and I agreed. That’s also why your guard rotation got switched, you’d have known something was wrong.”

“You could have told me, you know. Or told me something at least, even just said goodbye.”

“I wanted to say goodbye, I wanted to tell you everything, but I couldn't." And I could tell from his voice that he really did mean it.

"Why not?”

“I���m afraid that’s on us,” Tamar spoke up. “It seemed like too much of a risk to have anyone else know even a little of what was going on. No matter how much we could trust them.”

“That...seems reasonable I suppose. But how did all this get you caught in an assassination attempt? Where were your guards?”

As everyone fixed disapproving gazes on Isaak I felt my heart drop. He’d done something stupid. Sure, he’d definitely done it with good intentions, but he’d done something stupid nonetheless.

"What…did you do?"

"He arranged a secret meeting with the Shu Princess, without telling anyone, to declare his love or something in a reckless romantic gesture that I admit was very me. Rather unfortunately though, she was actually a member of the Tavgharad pretending to be Princess Ehri. Stabbed him and herself to frame Fjerda for the assassination of them both." Wow. But also ouch.

Years I'd been falling for Isaak. We'd met during our basic etiquette training when joining the palace guard, trained together, hung out together, fought together when the Darkling attacked. He'd been my best friend for so long and I'd wanted him to be more for almost as long. And foolishly I'd thought he might come to feel the same. Clearly not if this was anything to go by. I took a deep steadying breath and attempted to keep my voice calm as I spoke.

"You're an idiot, Isaak. I'm so happy to have you back and alive but I am beyond mad at you right now. I'm…I need some time. Come find me when you've recovered, okay?" I offered him half a smile, I couldn't manage more, and left without another word. I might have cried if I'd stayed any longer and I didn't want anyone to see that.

*

Isaak came to find me the following afternoon. I was training, kicking another guard's ass with a sword to be precise, when he interrupted me.

"Hi, (Y/N)." I held up my hand to my partner and tossed him my sword to hang up before turning to the door.

"Isaak." Still I was mad at him for everything that had happened but the hesitant smile he was sporting took the edge off. I was pleased to note Genya had fixed his hair and eyes since last night and he looked like his old self.

"Can we talk?" And usually I'd be reasonable and say yes but I was filled with frustration and a lot of feelings I wasn't ready to let him know about just yet.

"I'm not in the mood to talk. Come spar with me." He frowned but removed his jacket and came to join me.

"(Y/N), let me explain…" he tried as I came at him, his words cutting off as he moved instinctively to block my attack.

"No." I spun round and went for his legs but he knew me well enough to anticipate the move and easily remained on his feet.

"(Y/N).." He twisted me and I found myself trapped against his chest.

"Stop. Talking." I swiped at his legs and wrestled free as he regained his footing. We stepped apart and circled each other for a moment.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N), please just talk to me."

I didn't reply and simply came at him again, this time managing to knock him off his feet. Before I could do anything else though, he hooked an ankle around mine and brought me down too. We wrestled for a minute before Isaak finally managed to pin me to the floor. I tried to squirm away but my body was tired from training and he was stronger.

"Why are you so mad at me? I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on and I'm sorry for making you worry about me but I was just doing my job."

"That's not why I'm mad at you," I hissed even though that wasn't entirely true. He really didn't get it though.

"Well if it's not that then tell me why." I could hear frustration creeping up in his voice to match my own. He made the mistake of loosening his hold though and I flipped him off me to pin him instead, my face ending up much too close to him as I snapped.

"You want to know why I'm mad at you?" I growled. "I'm mad because I was I was scared, because you did something stupidly dangerous and turned up after three weeks of nothing having been stabbed! And then you go and act like it was nothing! You could have died, Isaak! Do you get that!? Do you have any idea what that would have done to me!? Or did you not even think about that when you decided to go and fall in love with a girl who planned to kill you?" I squeezed my eyes shut and took a breath as I felt tears threatening to fall.

"Why does it matter so much? We've lost friends before, it's a risk of our job." He asked, voice much gentler now.

"It's different this time. I almost lost you."

"But why-" he didn't get it and I finally broke.

"Because I love you!" I yelled and immediately froze. Isaak's eyes were wide with shock, his lips parted with surprise. Everything was still and silent while we both processed my words.

My heart started racing and I began to panic. I hadn't meant to say that. Ever. Slowly I removed my hands from his shoulders and sat up. I had to get out of there. His rejection on top of everything else wasn't something I could take.

Before I could stand, a hand wrapped around my wrist and tugged. I fell forwards, fortunately having enough presence of mind to throw out my other hand to catch myself. My arm buckled though when I felt a soft pair of lips against my own. Isaak's. Unexpected but as perfect as I'd always imagined.

A hand threaded through my hair while another cupped my face and I melted into the touch. I had plenty of questions but they could wait. I never dreamed I'd get this chance so I was going to savour it. Every moment of it.

He pulled away too soon. But I wasn't quite ready to leave the moment. It took a minute while I got my breath back, but I opened my eyes to meet the rich depths of his, sparkling with something new. Hope, love, joy, somewhere in between. The specifics didn't matter. What it made me feel did.

Absentmindedly his fingers trailed across my cheek to rest on my jaw while his thumb stoked my red, kiss-swollen lower lip. The tenderness of that touch alone had my heart crying out in joy. His smile made me melt and the corners of my mouth tugged cautiously with one of my own as I reached up to lay my own hand atop his.

"I love you too," he whispered, the words and the warmth of his voice wrapping around me and seeping into my very being. He loved me. He loved me. Suddenly nothing else seemed to matter.

"I'm still mad at you," I murmured anyway, thoughtlessly twining our fingers together and bringing his hand to rest beside his head. The action definitely undermined my words but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Of course you are." He rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly. "Can we save the lecture for later though?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you're going to kiss me again."

"Which way avoids the lecture?" He asked with a cheeky grin.

"Saints, you've spent too long pretending to be Nikolai." I couldn't help grinning along with him though. "Just kiss me, Isaak."

It was even better than the first time now I knew it was coming. The hand still tangled in my hair moved to rest lightly on my waist, a soft sigh escaping me as his fingers grazed the skin there. At the noise, his lips moved more confidently against my own and I opened my mouth in a clear invitation. An invitation he happily accepted.

Everything was slow, languid, every touch savoured and lingering, turning my blood thick and molten. I idly traced his jaw with my free hand, tilting it just slightly to slot our lips together better before sliding it up to tangle in his hair. A pleased hum followed the action and a little smile slipped onto my face as I proceeded to twirl a lock around my finger.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked when I pulled back a little to take a breath.

“You.” I dragged my hand through his hair again and once more that happy little noise escaped him. “You’re cute.” He blushed at that but it only made him cuter.

“You’re one to talk.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and rolled so I was laying on the floor now instead.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you.” He prodded lightly at my stomach, making me giggle. “Are.” He pressed a kiss to my neck, somehow finding the right spot to draw an appreciative hum from my lips. “The.” His hand moved to caress my cheek as his lips travelled higher. “Cutest.” He pecked my nose and my face scrunched up in a smile.

"You're so cheesy." Before he could do anything else funny or cute I brought his lips back to mine, not wasting any time before deepening it. Unfortunately someone decided to interrupt us far too soon.

"Saints, Isaak, I'm fairly sure I said to go make up with her not make out with her." Isaak turned a frankly hilarious shade of red as he pulled away and we both turned in the direction of Nikolai's voice. He was leaning in the doorway of the training room beside a smirking Tamar, looking far too pleased.

"I'm sure he made up with her first," Tamar said. "(Y/N) seemed pretty angry before, she'd probably have punched him if they hadn't talked first."

"Good point."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Isaak said uncertainty as he glanced between us all. "She hasn't forgiven me yet."

"Are you sure? Given what we walked in on, I'd say you looked forgiven enough." Nikolai raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"He's somewhat forgiven." I looked back at Isaak and twirled his hair around my fingers with a grin. "If you hadn't interrupted maybe he'd be completely forgiven."

"I don't know how much more it was going to take but I think it's good we came when we did." I almost choked at Tamar's implication and felt my cheeks heating as Isaak buried his face in my neck to hide the way his was burning too.

"I...assure you, it wouldn't have gone that far," I coughed out.

"Mmmhmm." I couldn't see it but I knew that infuriating smirk was plastered on Nikolai's face. "Well, we came to let you know that we've sorted a couple of weeks for you both to go see (Y/N)'s family and you're both being promoted when you get back. Sorry but you'll have to see a lot more of us all."

"You're trying to kill me, all of you." I grinned at Nikolai though, he knew I was only joking.

"Not deliberately, I assure you. We'll leave you two alone now," he winked as he turned to leave, "don't have too much fun."

"Or get a room if you do!" Tamar called back as she followed him out of the room. Isaak spluttered out an attempt at a defence but was too flustered to manage any words.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." He turned to me with wide eyes and that adorable flush deepening on his cheeks. "Relax Isaak, I'm kidding." I laughed and leaned up to kiss him. "Start with dinner. Tomorrow?" His smile was pure sunshine and my heart felt light for the first time in weeks.

"Dinner sounds great."

*

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