#my god i love this game so much
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nothing quite as great as having played bg3 so much that you go from playing it the normal way to fucking around
only for the fucking around to lead to new ways to improve one of my personal "canon" runs
it's a beautiful cycle
#like i love when i get to something and i go “wait a minute... what if I...”#and i can do the thing#and i can see the consequences of my actions#it's wonderful#my god i love this game so much#bg3#baldur's gate 3#queue sweet generous thing#w&w cleo
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a lover's eye for each romanceable companion in bg3 ♡
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#digital art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#wyll ravengard#shadowheart#karlach#halsin#minthara banere#lae'zel#gale dekarios#astarion#my art#fanart#i love this game so fucking much wtfffff#wyll i love you sm oh my god
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Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point
(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)
Have a nice day !
you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...
(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")
all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.
(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)
as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.
(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#gentle spoilers but y'know. just in case#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#most of the kitchen scene was jade messing with the firsties and that was so delightful that i didn't think til after#that you'd think sebek would have made some kind of reference to lilia 'i lost my tastebuds in the war' vanrouge's quote-unquote cooking#ah well. jade being mean is more than entertaining enough#looking forward to more of it tomorrow!#god. lilia and idia though.#lilia is like. genuinely idia's best friend and neither of them have any idea#and idia keeps doing that 'ha ha what if we were friends out of game too? what if we met offline? jk jk jk uNLESS...👉👈'#and then he immediately chickens out because he's so convinced that crimson will hate him if they ever met irl#(meanwhile lilia is just like 'my online bestie is so cool :) la la la')#they are both so stupid and i love them so much#i've just realized that i actually do want them to find out each other's identities#because idia doesn't just go to school with his online bff#he ALSO goes to school with his online bff's extremely supportive and extremely socially-inept kids#idia is going to get invited to dinner at diasomnia and it's going to be SO awkward#silver is going to give a long formal speech thanking him for being a stalwart comrade and trusted warrior brother to his father#as sebek stews in jealousy that idia got to fight by lilia-sama's side >:(#while idia sits there like 'all i did was link him a video about lane control for his character class'#malleus will make such an effort to learn literally anything about online gaming and he won't understand a word of it#it will be SUCH a disaster and i very much do want it now
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cw: pro-hero bakugo, reader has boobs, kind of explicit/nsfw? idk i describe boobs, reader is smaller and shorter than bakugo, unedited sawry
bakugo's muscle tee looks as ill-fitting as it'll ever be draped over you.
there are reasons for this, perfectly founded and logical reasons for why that is—the main one being that, it's, well, his; two, maybe even three sizes larger than what it should be to fit you properly.
but, he can't stop staring, and there are reasons for that too—the main one being that, it's his, and yet, the only way he can ever imagine it now is when it's being worn by you.
your hips sway to the song you've been humming for the past five minutes. it's the same one, the chorus on a perpetual loop. he's sure it's the only part you know; you do this often enough that it's the only part he knows now, too.
the hem of his tee hits right at the top of your thighs, concealing just enough to tease, but he’s confident that if you reach up even the slightest bit for the cupboard overhead, there'll be nothing to hide.
he feels a little bit like a creep like this, watching as he stands in the middle of your shared living room, but it's impossible too look away—you've got to be doing this on purpose, right?
heat flares inside of him when you turn your body ever so slightly, the armhole of his muscle tee large enough to give him the clearest view of skin—
he gulps.
it's smooth, sloping just right; the side view of your under boob curves into its perfect shape and he can imagine it, feel—
(is this considered perving if he's been with you for years?)
the pan in front of you sizzles as you plop in god knows what. you pour in something from the side and wait, one hand propped on the hip you pop out. then, you pick up the pan, attempting to flip what's inside (probably a pancake, now that he thinks about it).
it’s hard to focus on what you’re cooking though, especially when all he sees is plump flesh jiggling, bouncing as you further agitate the pan.
he just got the pants of this suit readjusted, and now they're fucking tight.
bakugo normally runs hot; it’s kind of part of his dna. but this warmth is different, flushing him from head to toe. it creeps up the side of his neck, painting the tips of his ears a blooming red.
you turn around then, plopping the pancake on the plate atop the counter behind you.
"oh! you're done," you greet him with a smile. so. fucking. casually.
as if your tits aren't fucking peaking against the gray fabric of his tee.
as if you think he buys the fake innocence poorly concealing that sly, conniving look in your pretty eyes.
as if you aren't standing in front of him in his muscle tee, wearing nothing underneath it like you didn’t do this on purpose. like you don’t know what it fucking does to him.
his eyes squint suspiciously, deep vermillion staring straight into yours.
you tilt your head, the tips of your lashes kissing the top of your cheekbones as you blink. you reach for a bottle of honey.
“everything okay?” you ask, voice syrupy, sickeningly sweet.
your movements play in front of him languidly, the corner of your lips curling up slightly as you smirk. honey catches on your finger as you pop open the bottle cap.
he’s supposed to be out the door in five minutes if he wants to make it in time for a meeting at the agency. technically, he should already be there if he wants to keep up his track record of consistently being fifteen minutes too early.
but you start to approach him, rounding the kitchen island. there’s a narrow space between him and the slab of marble, but you slide into it like it was made for you.
he’s certain it was, from the way the tip of your nose brushes against his as you tiptoe. your tits are right fucking there, brushing against the skintight material of his suit.
there’s too much fucking fabric if you ask him, between cotton and spandex.
your grin widens, and he feels hot, the heat from his cheeks radiating.
then you whisper, still saccharine, “breakfast is ready,” before kissing him on the lips lightly. a short peck, soft in the way that promises more before you slip away, giggling in your retreat.
he huffs, watching you leave. his feet shift as he thinks.
five minutes, huh?
like hell he’s going to eat these damn pancakes for breakfast today.
#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#ALWAYS GOING TO PUSH FOR THE BKG CLOSET PERV AGENDA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#he HAAAAAAAAATES that he feels this way BUT LIKE ALL HERO STORIES START WITH: his body moves on its own 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️#he tries to restrain it sooooo hard#but i think when youve been together a while something shifts in him#he still gets flustered!! still gets so hot and embarrassed about it!!! but i think he grows comfortable#with the idea that he /can/ act on it. that it isn’t shameful if he does.#so i think the big difference between a pining bakugo and being in a relationship w him#esp a long term one#is the fact that his reactions are still very much the same#but his actions become more proactive when he feels more secure in the relationship#and i adore the idea of a reader who loves teasing him for it#who looooves pushing his buttons#who looooooves seeing how far they can take it#and it's all fun and games and he's blushing and everything when you do it#but he gets you back so good for it. SOOOOO good. oh my god.#ok bye this was my brainrot at the gym today#rated#shotorus.bubble#bnha#katsu
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Disco disco 🕺 party party 🎉
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#disco elysium#sketch#digital art#I love this game SO MUCH already ough……#harry dubois#pathetic man god
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Normal Friend Behaviour.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#lan xichen#Ring ring! It's your judgment call! None of the lan brothers are there to pick it up!#Lan Xichen is so openly like 'I trust Jin Guangyao so much! Our bond is so deep! I believe in him like you believe in wwx!'#The tension! I remember not knowing how this would go because woagh the red flags for betrayal were so strong here.#Now I have spoiler brain so I mostly see the heartbreak coming but I still remember the anxiety of thinking lxc would betray lwj.#The way LXC compares his relationship to JGY is so funny to me. They aren't technically canon but...like....come on.#LXC *also* lets on that he knows LWJ has feelings for WWX. The implications are the loudest subtext I have seen.#Personally I see it as romantically one-sided on LXCs side. I think JGY knows and LXC denies his heart.#I think the tragedy is that JGY can't move past his need to make everything a game of chess to see LXC as more than an oppertunity#Here's the bigger tragedy: The one time he followed his heart...it led him to Qin-Su. Whom he loved dearly!#but...oh god was that ever a massive disaster that must have been internalized as 'following my heart is a mistake I can never make again.'#Ah - Happy Puffy Sleeves WWX debut day! We finally made it!#I'm personally a fan of the happy accident of WWX having white sleeves for this arc B*)
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chillin in the hot springs 🌱
+ a closeup
#ok so after drawing this i realized a major anatomical error that i compeltely overlooked and its bothering me so much that i cant unsee it#but i like how the drawing turned out so im not gonna change it#its bc if theyre both sitting down in the pool. there is no room for nemesis. but i hope you all can imagine that the pool is very deep and#they are actually standing#ok please imagine that for my sanity thank you#in my og sketch they were at the right edge of the pool and they would both have room to sit in this position but i moved them#cause i thought it would look better compositionally#and just didnt realize that the anatomy wouldnt make sense that way lmfao#anyway hope yall can still enjoy this melnem fanart#melnem#hades 2#hades ii#melinoe#nemesis#fanart#my artwork#illustration#i need these two to kiss kiss fall in love asap#oh my god also i love the little detail of their painted nails on their in game artwork#so cute#melinoe has green nails and nemesis has red nails#im love them
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kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#kevneil#we've talked about their relationship so much recently#but im in the middle of making anothre post#and i just remembered him calling wymack!!!!!! to check on neil!!!!!!!!!#and before that telling neil not to go bc he knows what riko will do to him#and 'jean will help you if you help him'#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying#I LOVE HIM#I LOVE THEM
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Blonde Phil means everything to me
#I love him so much#just look at him#GOD#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#amazingphil#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#dnp gifs#my gifs#phan#1k notes
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prodigal son.
a sort of epilogue for God of War Ragnarok, since I miss these two so much.
support me on patreon
#these two occupy so much of my brain space and will continue to do so forever more#the way cory barlog managed to transform kratos from your standard killing machine into a layered loving father#whose character is centered around bettering yourself for the sake of your children#absolutely magical#and ragnarok#good god that game made me cry so many times#i miss kratos and atreus so much#and apparently ragnarok was the last of the norse games?#so this is how i deal#i give myself closure by manifesting it into existence#they have great stew btw#kratos atreus and mimir#two dads and their teenage son#god of war#ragnarok#gow ragnarok#kratos#atreus#mimir#comic art#i have so many feelings ugh#thank you for reading#stillindigo art
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hey can you guys watch him for a bit? ill be back soon
#there is so much tboy swag in this guy its crazy.#also what a beautifully complex horror game GOD i havent stopped thinking about it for days.. all the themes in there??#the writing is so complex and deep but also so in your face.. anya i love you so#also jimmy has gotta die.#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#my art
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Dead plate That AU
Aww Cute
#dead plate#rody dead plate#dead plate rody#dead plate fanart#dead plate game#rody lamoree#rody x vincent#vince charbonneau#vincent charbonneau#dead plate vincent#my art#oh#god#i love this game so much
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I will never be over Leo’s 4D chess play in “Many Unhappy Returns”. Like, just in general it is a spectacle to see this character who we’ve seen goofing around time and time again, who’s only sometimes decided to take things seriously, only to show him making a maneuver like that.
And here’s what gets me the most about his plan against Big Mama: he comes up with it on the spot. The second he sees that Big Mama has the solution they need, he’s already in game mode.
It is so satisfying watching the episode back when you realize his plan, because he literally sets the stage entirely for a decisive victory. He sees that the champion is a kraken, and comes up with both the solution to defeating it and a reasonable excuse to get that solution into the battle with them on the fly:
“Like your champ aaand those six guys. In fact, we don’t want this over too quickly. You should armor up those rookies. The whole shebang. Especially with these pointy helmets.”
And this is why giving him teleportation powers is perfect, too. He analyzes the battlefield and makes use of all the assets, moving pieces around to guarantee a win. It is honestly so impressive to witness and one of my favorite parts of his character.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#many unhappy returns#Leo is SO GOOD AT THIS PLEASE#he can be a dumb dumb but when he uses his brain he is AMAZING#I love him so much#dude has the equivalent of Fire Emblem Awakening Robin’s “see the whole battlefield” ability frfr#all of this while not letting on his real plan at ALL#please he’s so good oh my god#and this imo is why he grows into the worlds best ninja#because subterfuge is one of the main abilities one should have as one#and Leo is SO GOOD AT SUBTERFUGE#*eyes Lair Games intently*#side note too but he does a bit of it in the movie as well#‘I missed on purpose’#it’s small but he had to make sure the Kraang didn’t suspect a thing and he SUCCEEDED#GOD I love??? this boy?????#he’s genuinely so insanely well written and has so much depth I could rant for days man#subterfuge as well so sooooo much fun to witness in action ESPECIALLY WHEN WE THE AUDIENCE IS ALSO MISLED AAA#SOMEONE MENTIONED IT IN THE TAGS TOO BUT YEAH ALSO HE HAD COMPLETE FAITH IN THE REST OF HIS FAMILY TOO#he knows them to a T and was able to accurately predict where they would be by the time he made it back to them#like that’s insane he’s so big brained and deliberately goofy about it I love him#his number one flaw is not letting his team in on his plans and that’s so interesting to me#we see it so clearly in the movie#he CAN accomplish things on his own honestly!!#he’s actually really good at it!#BUT it’s not about him - and not letting his family in on his plans can and does cause collateral damage to them#‘I’m nothing without them’ and ‘it’s not about me’ go hand in hand and can either work off each other for the better or for the Worse#could also go in on how his issues with letting his team in are constantly brought up over the series and how it ISNT just a one way street
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haha heyy its been a while 😭😭 sorry for the lack of activity here,,, school has been kicking my butt + i've gotten SUPER hyperfixated on disco elysium,,,, BUT THE MOMENT I SAW THE ORIGINAL I KNEW I HAD TO DRAW SAM AS THIS RAHSBBFBDN i seriously need to catch up on the recent audios 😭😭😭 ANYWAY enjoy :)
vvvvv ORIGINAL BELOW vvvvv
shhhhghhshhshhsh youre telling me this ISNT sam??? like????
#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted audio#sam collins#redacted asmr#my art#god seriously my disco elysium hyperfixation has gotten so bad#its a seriously good game you guys#i love harry and kim and jean and judit and RAHDHHDBF#i was hesitant on posting more stuff on here cuz ive gotten traction for my redacted stuff so#i feel like if i post more art people would expect more redacted stuff from me which im not as hyperfixated on anymore 😭#but then i realised i shouldnt think that way#THIS IS MY BLOG#YOU CANNOT COME INTO MY HOME AND ASK ME TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF MY CARPETS#so ALL IN ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!!#I HOPE YOU DONT MIND IF I START POSTING FANART OF OTHER FANDOMS!!!#anyway SAM COLLINS THE MAN THAT YOU AREE AHDNDNGNNDF#im still not over you.
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“Nice.”
#The Last of Us#Joel Miller#Ellie Williams#tlou fanart#Pedro Pascal#Bella Ramsey#my so called art#ramble: I love them so much I am gonna lie on legos and chew glass#old soft man Joel and Ellie are everything for me ok#to me#whatever#this is both my main source of serotonin and the reason why I need it in the first place bc jfc#the most dangerous thing is to love#sedate me#bc I cannot deal with it#or shut up about it#first the games now this dang show#* lies on the floor *#heR SQUISHED FACE AND HIS SMILE AND JUST??????????????????#GOD#fucken dang it#tlou spoilers#just to be sure!#tlou hbo
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fanon neil vs canon neil
god i am so FUCKING done with the aftg fandom mischaracterising neil i'm literally writing fucking ESSAYS about it and pacing circles muttering about it under my breath it's driving me up the goddamn wall so i am going to word vomit brain dump yap about all of it in an incoherent tumblr text post. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk
i've said it before and i'll say it again I HATE FANON NEIL. istg this fandom LOVES to mischaracterise neil and ykw i think i know why. they take the smallest most unnoticeable parts of his personality and then exaggerate them to disproportionate and unrealistic levels in order for him to fit their idea of a conventional, stereotypical and desirable main character. they smooth out his jagged edges and prick at his "insecurities" to make him more likeable, more acceptable and more conventional of a narrator/main character and in doing so erase so fucking much of his personality and draw as a character that he loses just about all of the flavour that made me love him in canon. and also especially within the andreil dynamic this fucking fandom just loves to tweak neil's character until he's basically unrecognisable just so they can cram andreil into some preconceived socially acceptable clichéd ship dynamic. because andrew is perceived as the typical mysterious, moody and grumpy love interest therefore neil just has to be the sunshiney smiley blushing cute softboy in exchange. yeah because all gay ships have to be grumpy-sunshine and black cat-golden retriever dynamic. i raise you: andreil's dynamic doesn't work because of their differences it works because of their similarities. if u think about it andrew and neil are honestly very similar people in the way they think and process emotions and events and that's what allows them to connect and understand each other. andreil would not work if neil was super sunshiney and a blushy soft mess and andrew was the stoic, never smiling, unemotional stone of a guy the fandom loves to make them. just accept they do not fit into the conventional boxes laid out by booktok for what gay ships look like. i fucking digress.
neil is also just insanely mischaracterised on his own. people love making him very jittery and insanely oblivious and easily flustered with a generous serving of self-esteem issues. i hate to break it to you guys: neil josten is not insecure. i don't think there's a single instant in the series where neil is actually insecure about anything. as a narrator, person and character, neil is very realistic, pragmatic and logical. ruthlessly so. i'd say on this, neil is even more cerebral and unemotional than andrew is. neil is very straightforward and realistic abt himself in his narration and i'd honestly say his opinion and views about himself are one of the only things in the story that isn't affected by his narrator bias. if neil is anything, it's self-aware. i'm now going to present all my fucking evidence.
neil doesn't have a sexuality crisis. literally in the entire series never once does he even question his fucking sexuality. it's implied he's already figured out he's aspec/demisexual from the moment nicky questions him about his sexuality. neil says "i don't swing" and follows up in his narration: it wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. and later when he starts his relationship with andrew he doesn't ever question the nature of his feelings towards andrew or even anyone else and is pretty clear about it when andrew breaches the topic: "kissing you doesn't make me look at them any differently" so yeah neil is pretty certain and aware of his sexuality.
neil isn't insecure about his appearance. i feel like this is gonna require a bit of work to explain but hear me out. it is mentioned several times that neil has a complicated relationship with his appearance because he looks so much like his father/abuser. this is obviously understandable; you wouldn't want to look into the mirror and see the man who gave u all ur scars. that being said, neil doesn't have a lot of strong emotions regarding his appearance. most of his feelings of panic tied to when r*ko dyed back his hair is because of how it would be a lot easier for his father to discover him now that he has his original colouring back. i'm also pretty sure neil knows that he's cute. like it's never explicitly stated but i've reread aftg maybe fifty times and trust me i can read between the lines. neil explicitly says that he has a "love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity" and while the "hate" part of that statement is obvious: he doesn't like that he resembles his father, i've sort of just accepted that the "love" part of it is that he knows he's kinda fine. it's not brought up by him at all bc neil as a person is not one to linger on people's appearances almost at all. i think the only people to get a decent amount of lines dedicated to their appearance in the narration are allison and andrew. but yeah i genuinely don't think neil thinks he's ugly or unattractive and he's probably definitely been told how cute he is by others enough that he doesn't harbour any delusions about how he looks. regarding his scars, he never expresses any insecurity towards them and how they look, he just doesn't like them on display understandably bc of how acutely they point to his past and childhood that he's trying to hide.
neil is actually very very confident in his own and other people's abilties. this is esp regarding exy. he knows he's good at the game. like he knows. the most distinct example i can think of for this point is when kevin tells neil that he was at castle evermore to try out for the perfect court when they were younger. neil doesn't even doubt for a fucking second that he would've made it onto the perfect court. never does. he skips over the second-guessing and doubt part and just straight up starts daydreaming about the future he could've had playing with kevin and r*ko. like that really got me bc it's easy to assume neil would be super unassuming and have low self-esteem but no like neil doesn't doubt for a fucking second that he deserves to be perfect court. it's just that he doesn't believe in r*ko's delusions enough to play along with it by the time he gets the tattoo. he's also insanely confident about the foxes and their abilities and also kevin by the end of the series. at the beginning he takes a pretty realistic vantage point and says that with the way things are, the foxes will never beat the ravens. but even with that pov he still has the gall to challenge r*ko on LIVE TV and i doubt he's lying when he declares so boldly to everyone that if the foxes were united they'd be an unstoppable force (and guess what he was fucking RIGHT). and by the end, when the foxes are united, he has no more room left for doubt at all. some guy tells neil to kick the ravens' asses and neil just replies with zero hesitation "that's the plan". like he's so fucking on board with it. and he never once doubts that kevin is the best striker in the game. like literally never. at first he considers r*ko and kevin on par with each other (possibly, it's never stated outright) but by the end he literally has no doubts when he says "kevin is the best striker" like goddamn the amount of confidence neil has is so underrated.
neil is a very unemotional narrator. it actually gets me all the time how logical and ruthlessly pragmatic neil's narration and inner monologue is. some of the only strong emotions portrayed in neil's narration are anger, irritation and occasionally grief, which is only ever triggered by major trauma-inducing events (e.g. dr*ke). almost all of his inner monologue is analytical and observing others and dissecting either other people or the situation he's in. and almost all of his decisions and actions are made based on impulse and instinct. neil is a very instinctive person. this is outright stated in the way he plays exy; in theory, he can't give u a lot, but in the heat of the moment he's at his best. this applies to practically all facets of neil's life. he never plans his moves or what he's gonna say (except like that one time when he planned out what half-truth he was gonna tell andrew post-columbia). he's super quick and on the ball and literally does whatever the fuck he wants at any given moment. he's also insanely good at compartmentalising. like it's difficult to explain but while his priorities are obv hilariously skewed, they're also very clear in his mind. things he considers unimportant he simply just doesn't think about. what others look like and what they think of him don't factor into his internal monologue or his thoughts at all he literally just files them away in the back of his mind until they do end up becoming useful or important to him. he barely comments on andrew's appearance at all until andrew becomes someone worth staring at and admiring for him. the only reason he describes allison and renee in the detail that he does is because it's important in understanding how and why he reacts to them the way he does. this man was literally about to lose his goddamn mind at the fall banquet but he specifically reserved his mental breakdown for after the banquet so he could spend his time roasting the fuck out of r*ko. bro fully locked in and was like "clock riko now break down later" and i respect it.
neil doesn't actually have a martyr complex. it's funny because almost all of aftg is him being the absolute fucking opposite of a martyr. he wilfully sticks around the foxes knowing he's putting himself and them in danger. he doesn't "sacrifice" himself until he's absolutely forced to by his father's people. by then, he's already told himself he can't and won't run and he's smart enough to know he'll never get away anyway. and going to evermore wasn't about self-sacrifice or martyrdom it was about protecting andrew and those two are pretty fucking different. he knew he was coming back from evermore and he knew that he wouldn't die there, despite all the shit he went through, so i don't think that can be counted as "self-sacrifice". he was doing what he had to do to protect andrew, the same as andrew would've done for neil or aaron or kevin or anyone else he'd sworn to protect. the kidnapping in baltimore was the culmination of neil's character arc, which isn't really about learning to be selfless and self-sacrificing, it's about learning to stand his ground and stop running. those things r crucially different: neil not running in baltimore wasn't about selflessness, it was about courage. yes, part of it was obviously inspired by the foxes and motivated by not wanting them to be hurt but i truly believe it ultimately was about neil learning to stand his own ground and make his own home and have it be something he's willing to die for. call it whatever u want honestly i just don't think neil is as much of a martyr/sacrificial lamb as the fandom makes him out to be.
#zoe yaps#god there's a limit to how much i can write#we live in an economy#what the fuck#i'm so mad bro i have so much more to say#whatever y'all have to deal with this for now#take it or leave it this is the real neil josten i know him personally#save me canon neil save me#i hate fanon neil sm oh my days#STOP mischaracterising him for the love of god#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil
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