#my genuine real true soulmates...

[1980ssunflower]

[gulliesforever]

janda has ruined my perception of “nasty” and “codependent” ships because whatever they have going on has got to be at least 3.5 times worse than anything in modern television and cinema.

nasty? the shitting. the pissing. the vomiting. the absolute level of violence and sexual acts. the stench. the crassness and tactlessness of how they speak to everyone. there is no redeeming motives or qualities about them, and that’s absolutely on purpose. in fact, the whole point is that you SHOULDN’T sympathize with them.

codependent? a lot of ships have the “they are both failguys” aura and the “bestie x reluctant bestie who are attached like leeches” aura… but they very rarely have the raw mutual codependency. yknow, the type of obsession where either of their entire egos hinge upon being liked by this one Very Special Guy that Sat Next To Me One Day and Attached Onto Me, lest the whole word fall apart at the seams and I attempt self sabotage effective immediately.

it’s literally so insane, man. what the hell.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

asking sincerely. do you see a romance between jayce and viktor? do you think they ended up being something romantic at the end?

With apologies I am going to only half talk about the thing you are asking me, since I have something else on my mind and you happened to hit the button that makes me vomit it into words.

Coming at this from an aromantic perspective, I obviously don't experience the state of absurd obsessive delusion that you bizarre romantic freaks fetishize so feverishly*, but I am often annoyed by the idea that friendship and romance are either opposites or mutually exclusive. From my perspective, the boundary between the two is at best thin, and more realistically not actually a boundary at all except by cultural construction.

*i am taking an excessively hostile, crass tone for my own amusement i do not mean this seriously please be normal at me, weird allo freaks

I won't get into my full feelings about the end of Arcane, but it seems perfectly plain to me that the script, the imagery and the animation presents Jayce and Viktor as two halves of a whole, not opposing forces but alike to yin and yang: opposites which each contain the other. And at the climax of the show, the greatest peril to life and peace in the narrative is resolved by these two men literally joining their bodies and souls together, and going into eternity holding one another for comfort and strength. They are quite literally soulmates, quite literally the most important people in one another's lives.

I don't think that that kind of intimate emotional connection between men must necessarily be either romantic or sexual - I am aromantic, and plenty of ace people exist, and there is nothing in our natures excluding us from intense connections of love with other people of any gender.

I also think it is willfully ignorant (and genuinely homophobic) to act as though these deep connections are mutually exclusive with sex and romance. As though if Viktor and Jayce fucked nasty and made out sloppy style, suddenly their intimacy is less pure or valid, or tainted somehow.

"If these two men who are emotionally close to one another also fuck or get romantically involved, then friendship is dead, murdered on the floor by a dick-shaped knife; vile sexuality corrupts and debases the true, pure and virtuous love of ✨friendship✨" <- This shit is homophobic at a baseline, queerphobic in general, and frankly as an aromantic man I find it pretty fucking insulting as well.

What, are my friendships with other men just inherently more pure and divine, more meaningful and true than a gay man's can ever be, because I will never suffer the vile temptation of adding romance to my affection? Is that how I should think of myself? And is an aroace man more pure than me still, the only source of TRUE male friendship that a man can ever experience, free from the pustulant corruption of sexuality and romantic desire?

You get this pathetic defensiveness (especially from men, but other genders aren't immune) wherein sex and sexuality and romance between men is perceived as a threat to men's right and ability to experience deep connection to each other. But the emotional castration of men comes not from people imagining sex and romance as a component of our relationships - it comes from people who insist that our emotional lives must be ruled by strict binaries. Sex and romance, OR ELSE friendship. Deep romantic connection OR ELSE deep platonic connection. Pick one and do not dare to imagine both, nor act as though the boundary between them is something that we built by cultural fiat, and which can be dismantled just the same.

And yes, yes, yes, I know there are cultural forces literally illuminati-style conspiring to systemically erase the entire existence of explicitly romantic, sexual male love from media, and I know that homophobic puritanism is on the rise and there are material concerns and a real necessity for explicit representation in fiction, yes I know. Everything is more complicated than a tumblr post can cover, I am not trying to Solve Rainbow Capitalism™ over here, I am trying to express frustration as an aromantic man that this stupid fucking binary keeps getting culturally reinforced by both my enemies and my well-meaning allies, when I think the binary is what's fucking killing us in the first place.

So anyway. My position is that Viktor and Jayce can be entirely aromantic no-homo friends, and they can fuck nasty in the throes of mutual need and obsession, and I refuse to entertain the idea that there is an irresolvable contradiction between those things. Each of those can contain the other, or become the other given time and circumstance.

What the imagery, storytelling and script of Arcane makes clear is that Viktor and Jayce love each other more than life itself. To say that that love must be shoved into the box of either "platonic" or "romantic" is to miss out on almost everything that is beautiful about love. It can be both and neither! It can be a secret third, ninth or fifteenth thing that they haven't invented a tag for on Ao3 yet.

They are giving each other whatever the spiritual mind-ghost equivalent of sloppy backshots are on the ethereal plain forever, they are the most romantic lovers in the cosmos, and they are also the most chaste and platonic life-partner friends you have ever seen, effortlessly intimate and unashamedly tender. They are men who love one another, in every way that love matters.

You can pick whichever interpretation brings you joy, and resonates with what your heart needs, the text of the show is eminently and explicity open to it, and anyone who says otherwise either failed to pay attention, or refused to pay attention on purpose.

[jadeyarts]

Separate from that other anon I for one would personally love to hear your Peri and Harbinger/Foxglove headcanons

OMG YAYYYYY. I HAVE QUITE A FEW ♥ (for my own convenience i'm referring to them by their og series names for reasons)

the events of timmy's secret wish are what first planted the seeds of genuine, fully positive feelings and fondness for poof in foop's mind and heart... maybe even a puppy love crush. he seriously thought "well, dying in poof's arms wouldn't be so bad" and hoped that wouldn't awaken something in him. it did.

in a lot of episodes they often have differently colored eyes - foop has a darker shade of purple. i think poof's noticed, and i think he even likes the look of those darker eyes.

given how foop would cry out for poof to protect or save him, i think that poof grows to be incredibly protective of foop… poof will square up for his square!!!

hes the one telling cashiers that foop asked for no pickles, imho ♥

at some point poof stopped intervening in foop's nefarious schemes so i've kind of interpreted poof as just... not caring anymore. he can't stay mad at foop for long, and he finds himself not even bothered by whatever damages he ends up causing anyways. i think he might even find his antics amusing.

after the events of certifiable super sitter, foop actually feels comfortable with admitting that poof is his best friend-

it'd take a few more years to admit it to poof's face, though, it's too embarrassing for him! he'll gush to chloe constantly, though - she knows he's in love with poof before either of them does.

foop's first boyfriend was actually their mutual friend sammy sweetsparkle in high school, while poof had kind of an on-and-off puppy love situationship with goldie... until he kind of flipped out on her about constantly getting foop's name wrong in the middle of a jealousy induced break-down. foop was actually thrilled to hear that poof let his dark side show over wanting to be with him.

sammy and foop ironically broke up on good terms because sammy's best attempt at understanding the fairy/antifairy situation is that they must be soulmates and he didn't want to stand in the way of true love. he's their second biggest supporter.

technically poof confessed first but his confession was literally just screaming IF I DONT SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU I AM LITERALLY GOING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP!!!! at foop, which was a love confession that would only appeal to foop.

chloe TRIED to plan the "perfect" first date for them but it was horribly awkward and not to their tastes. so instead their first REAL date was poof taking foop to a kelly clarkson concert where they got matching "my life would suck without you" t-shirts.

poof actually buys - WITH HUMAN MONEY, IN A HUMAN DISGUISE - every kelly clarkson album as it releases for foop.

they nearly elope several times but got caught by wanda every time. wanda doesn't really like the fact that poof is with foop but doesn't wanna turn into mama cosma about it so she comes to terms with it. she doesnt want them to just run away and get married when she doesn't think they're ready yet either, though. timmy has to be the one to appeal to foop's desire for attention to convince them to have a big wedding after they graduate. poof doesnt care whether he has a big wedding or just elopes - as long as foop is his. if foop wants a big wedding, that's what they'll have.

whenever people ask how long they've been together they tend to go silent because their first instinct is to say "about 50 years" even though they're only about 22-24, and they've only officially been a couple for about 6 or 7 years. foop's second instinct is also to say "from the very first moment i drew breath" like the dramatic weirdo he is. which isn't even accurate and they both know it.

literally so specific to my own little homebrewed post-canon that you can't even pretend it works with anw:

in my elaborate fanon after AC and AW abandoned foop in season 10, poof begs wanda to find someone who would be willing to take foop in. luckily, wanda knew just the fairies for the job.

after getting adopted foop changes his name to foxglove thimbleplight - poof changed his last name to thimbleplight when they got married so he becomes periwinkle thimbleplight. :3

they still call each other poof and foop - usually in the form of embarrassingly cheesy affectionate nicknames. we're talking "smoopy-poo" level cheesy usage here.

(actually that one still works with anw but the art i drew is clearly my own designs and not the anw designs and it's exceedingly cheesy so)

poof convinced foop to go to the fairy academy with him - initially foop was hesitant because he… wants to… but… antifairies cant become godparents, right??? poof was willing to do literally anything it would take to keep foop by his side though. he initially considers manipulating some poor unsuspecting godparent to quit on their godkid just so he can hijack the ensuing fairy idol for foop to win and take their job… it's devious, and he knows foop would have loved that he did something so malicious just for him, but in the end he just gets into a fight with jorgen and the fairy council about it. he argues that technically foop is legally a fairy now since he was adopted by fairies, so he should be allowed to become a godparent. they end up agreeing.

their relationship was kind of a controversial issue in fairyworld for a few years because of poof's high profile status - while they're not the first fairy and anti-fairy couple, they're the first recorded instance of a fairy coupled with their own counterpart in eons. the media did get bored of them eventually though.

they already wanted to get married after high school but they agreed to postpone the wedding until after they graduated from the fairy academy so they had enough free time to make it as over the top as foop wanted it to be. poof actually proposed to foop AGAIN with a diamond ring after they graduated from the fairy academy, even though they were technically already engaged - with the intent of being as over-the-top dramatic and annoying to the rest of their classmates as possible.

^ which is similar to what cosmo and wanda did as teens though details differ. cosmo is literally the only one who seems to realize this and audibly goes "WOW, DEJA VU..." when this all happens.

while wanda had to get used to poof and foop together, cosmo accepted it pretty much immediately. mostly because sometimes they reminded him of himself and wanda. (<- actually canon)

[weebsinstash]

So back on my pervert shit, you know what I've been thinking of?

Red string soulmates Reader x Lucifer except not only are you extremely nervous and hesitant and scared of him when you first meet and keep completely shooting him down and rejecting him, but, just as you two are starting to become close and you're actually legitimately starting to like him, it's Extermination Day and he arrives just in time to watch a holy spear pierce your heart and you just straight up fucking DIE

... which then leads to him developing a divinity kink for you when it turns out your soul was redeemed and you're now an angel in Heaven and he starts viewing you as like an ACTUAL "true" angel, basically viewing you almost akin to God, and becomes actually genuinely religiously obsessed with you

Lucifer just absolutely inconsolable after your death, lying in bed every single day completely unable to get up except for the bathroom, drinking eating crying in bed all day long, and then... one night... he dreams of you, and you look... so glorious, dressed all in white, with beautiful white wings and a gentle glowing halo. You look radiant, downright regal, and at the sight of this vestige of you, he's throwing himself to the ground on his hands and knees begging for you to forgive him for being such a worthless waste of life, how he would give his own soul to make you real again, how he would do ANYTHING if it meant seeing the real you again

and then you touch him. You all but drop to your knees to embrace him, pulling him into your chest and holding him close. You're crying too as you apologize for leaving him feeling so heartbroken and alone, how it's been so hard for him, how much he was looking forward to getting to know you as his soulmate and you blame yourself for pushing him away and then dying, taking that away from him. You stroke his hair and pet his back as he feels your tears dropping onto his head

...but it's all too real. The touch is all too real, the smell of you is all too real. Lucifer suddenly pulls away to look at you with huge eyes. He can feel your soul when the two of you touch. This angelic appearance of yours is just too radiant and grand for him to possibly imagine, at least in his eyes. He. Can. Feel. You. You're still alive, just, not in Hell, and somehow, some way, your souls met in the plane of dreams, and now he knows, definitively, that you're in Heaven, that you're an angel now, and here's the devil himself looking at you like you're a god

Imagine having THE actual Lucifer Morningstar himself, the Angel of the Bottomless Pit, a man you once thought wasnt even real, an actual divine creature older than humanity itself, all but crawling on his hands and knees to prostrate himself in front of you, kneeling, looking up at you weeping tears of joy while he says with complete sincerity and absolute bliss that YOU must be the entire reason he was born. He's clutching at his chest, sobbing that you've made him whole again, that the entire reason he's alive must surely be for this moment, to meet you and serve you in every single way that he can. You weren't born to be his soulmate; he was born to be yours, to serve you and elevate you to your true potential and glory and forever shield your immaculate grace

Then he wakes up, and all he can think about is that you need him, immediately, whatever it takes. He was born to serve you, be by your side, and every single breath he takes and move that he makes that doesn't serve the purpose of aiding you is an unforgivable transgression. He's just, IMMEDIATELY making his way up to Heaven, because what the fuck are they going to do?

"HI, I'm here to pick up my angel ^^"

"Lucifer you can't just come in here and take a soul, they live here now, there's a balance-"

"OK then I can just start killing you all until I find them :)"

"Oh, uh, you know what, that's so funny haha I just got a text from the heavenly father, my mistake, you're cool, please take this single soul back down to Hell with you and leave the rest of us alone :')"

You're down in Hell again but, as an angel now, and Luci's calling you everything from "my love, my angel, my purpose, your holiness, your grace, your saintliness" and following you around like a duckling. Is there anything you need? Are you cold? Are you hungry? Do you need him to carry you from room to room because you're "too pure to soil your feet by touching the ground"? He basically becomes your protector and your priest and may even change how he dresses to reflect your angelic garb (and may actually become extremely resistant to letting you wear anything else or anything differently. This man catches you in a pair of denim jeans and he's just, magicking you back into saintly robes because "he doesn't want you to dirty yourself with anything but the greatness that you deserve")

Something something "he develops a fetish for basically every part of your body and yes he does eventually wash your bare feet in a very religiously coded and horny manner" something something "horny idolatry" something something

He considers himself simultaneously unworthy of you yet the most qualified and deserving to be at your side; the other half that makes him whole yet an existence greater than his own. He may feel he doesn't deserve to even touch you and is just satisfied staring at you for hours on end, even as you sleep, but if you touch him? All but groaning and having his eyes roll back, completely offering his body to you for you to touch and do whatever you please

You're uncomfortable but you form the opinion that losing you must have deeply, deeply traumatized the poor man and that this is a coping mechanism, and even if that may be true, he continues to shock you and maybe even gross you out with the lengths he goes with his newfound devotion. You try to, not exactly feed into his delusions but you don't outright reject him. You try to gently guide him back to how he used to be, and, maybe you can get him to tone some things down, but, it's purely because you asked and he'll do basically anything you say at this point. Emotionally, psychologically, he's a different Lucifer than the one you first met, and he doesn't want to go back to even remotely considering you anything other than his divine purpose for living

Oh, but of course, he's still your official soulmate as well, so even if he is essentially your servant now, he still wants to be your husband. I'm torn between whether he'd want like, the absolute LARGEST wedding possible so that all of Hell soon knows of you, or, if he'd want a private ceremony of only you and him so that no one else can gaze upon your splendor.

He's still gotta dick you down too, of course. He ever finds you self pleasuring and he'll all but want to lash himself for "failing to tend to all of your needs", "leaving tou unfulfilled". Mf is over here saying grace before he eats you out. Tell him any fetish or kink you have and he'll do it, no questions asked, unless it's something that involves causing YOU pain. You could whip him like Jesus until the skin is flaying off and he'll do nothing but thank you and wet his face with tears of pure ecstasy

Although, he's not, completely 100% obedient. He'll still kill people who he feels have "wronged you" even if you ask him not to. Oh, a car drove by way too fast and he had to dive in front of you so you didn't become soaking wet? The driver will be tortured and killed. Someone insults you? Tortured and killed. Did someone pr something cause Lucifer to miss out on doing something with you? Tortured. Killed.

You know how in Hell's Greatest Dad, Lucifer is able to duplicate himself? Imagine waking up from a nap searching around everywhere because, for some reason, you just can't find him, and you find a set of large double doors for a room you don't remember being there before and you catch him literally preaching gospel to a room of himself??? Like??? You walk in and Real Lucifer is at the pulpit giving an actual sermon that is definitely very obviously about YOU and a crowd of himself is openly weeping and clasping their hands together, and they all turn to face you with expressions of wonder and awe

If you have some sort of personal symbol or sigil you used for yourself, sort of like how Alastor has specific runes for his magic, Lucifer would all but make pendants and rosaries with the same sigil. He'll put your symbol on his robes, on pennants hanging up in his castle (I'm just assuming lil man has a castle somewhere), he'll wear your symbol around his neck like a cross, holding it between his hands while he prays to you, often in front of you, unless you are massively uncomfortable with it; then he'll just do it in private or in his head

You could be sitting playing video games on your phone and he'll just, lay his head in your lap and purr, delighted just to be with you, especially touching you, and if you briefly take a hand and pet through his hair or stroke along his back he's shivering with pleasure.

He won't allow any harm to come to you so long as he's by your side, and both of you are basically immortal souls, not to mention you're actually bound together cosmicly as soulmates, so... expect to be spending plenty of time having The Lucifer Morningstar adoring and fawning over you with every last ounce of energy that he has, and God forbid, no, may Your Grace forbid that anyone else dare to worship you with the same level of fondness that he does because Lucifer won't hesitate to take that person, that false worshipper, and tear them to pieces, sacrificing their body and soul to an altar he's made special for worshipping you like he KNOWS you truly deserve ❤️

[astrologylunadream]

Who am I destined to love?💌☁️🔗 [Soulmate reading] (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 We will be doing a reading on your destined lover!💗 hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the love you long for, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸🌟

Pile 1🦊

Pile 2🦢

Pile 3🛋

Pile 4🎹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💌

Pile 1🦊

Sign energy: Forgiveness, Anger, True feelings, Fame, Singer, 3rd house, Cancer, Moon, North node, Gemini, 🪐🧩🌃🛎

☁️Your energy: You guys have a fiery energy about you, very kind and fun loving. You are very emotional and tend to have outbursts if your emotional state is not safe or well taken care of. You could love singing and I'm getting a more specific message that someone in this pile has a famous parent/mom, a singer mom if there are any of you in my pile 1😆 You get frustrated easily but those feelings come from your true heart, and you express yourself openly and genuinely. I feel like this pile doesn't back down when angry💢 You could be a night owl, prefer the night time. I feel like you're more in touch with your emotions at night, like cinderella I'm hearing "when the clock strikes twelve" and suddenly you are your true self at night, your openly emotional real self.♡ You may feel inclined to become famous or a public speaker, sharing your thoughts and ideas with those who need it the most.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fox, Neck, Taurus, Gemini, Fix, Leo, South node, Air, Aries, Water, 🎡🦀🍭🚀 A very fun and gorgeous person awaits my pile 1, if you were drawn to the fox here it came out again so this is your confirmation this is definitely the pile!! This could be someone from your past, you will feel a sense of familiarity with this person. They have a more so direct approach to communication and think fast. Very witty, intelligent and a natural problem solver. Taurus, Gemini, Leo, or Aries placements, they may have Sun conjunct Venus or Mercury I feel. They have a very attractive neck, especially with the Taurus energy. As for the purpose of this destiny, I'm seeing as someone you are destined to fix, almost help in a way, your love is meant to heal this person on an emotional level. They will be so glad they met you, like you were fated to help them. It's giving heaven sent angel vibes <3 They will see you as an answer to their prayers, and things will only look up from there.😊 This destiny is an emotional journey for you both, connecting through mutual understanding and comforting one another is the true reason for this connection. It will heal and nurture your hearts greatly.♡ It will be a fun, pleasant and in some ways childlike relationship made of pure love and trust.

💌Messages from them: I'll never forget you, I finally get it, Our love is a game, I know exactly how you like it, I see you, Extra cards: Daily, Follower, Angel, Green, Crazy, 8th house, Earth, Chiron, Water, Sun, (Guardian angel vibes🥺💫)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the fox emoji~🦊 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🦢

Sign energy: Cafe, Long term, Endurance, Stomach, Hair, North node, Aquarius, Gemini, ⛵😂🌉🤍

☁️Your energy: You guys have such a graceful vibe, I see so much pure cleansed energy with this pile. Elegant swan energy for you guys <3 Most of you in this pile are looking for long term commitment, so you may be hoping that the one you are destined to love is someone you will be with for a long time. Some of you work as a barista/job at a cafe☕💕 Your hair is gorgeous and people talk about it a lot.💇‍♀️ Aquarius and Gemini placements overall air signs but I'm getting such indirect Virgo energy from this pile omgggg any Virgo's in my lovely pile 2??😂 Btw this emoji!!😂😂😂 Do you use it alot?? Could be significant for any of this pile, you may laugh a lot and your laugh is very light and beautiful. I'm seeing a future of laughing and happiness with this pile I feel like that is also your destiny to just, laugh and have fun. Just loosen up a bit and enjoy the little things that make you happy, being grateful is meant for you my pile 2's <3 You have such an angelic presence about you, so admirable and full of kindness and beauty. You may want to meet your future but don't like the steps to get there, but I'm hearing only of you endure the journey of your hopes can you arrive at the destination of fulfilling them. Haha maybe that resonates with some of you, I feel like you may drink coffee or tea often. Cafes are your jam!

💘Who you're destined to love: Comfort, Love, Shame, Present, Blind, 12th house, Lilith, Eros, Neptune, Air, 🤣🤒😤🧲 Okaaay my pile 2's we have some interesting energy going on with this 👏person👏 You are definitely destined with this person romantically, I'm hearing fated connection. This is someone who is seemingly new or not experienced with love, they make mistakes and don't know what they're doing most of the time.🥺 They also have so many fantasies about it some that they are shameful of or embarrassed to meet, they have a some darker needs too in a romantic connection. Many of their turn on's in a partner are subconscious fears aswell. I get the vibe this person isn't the best at communiting their desires, it makes them feel vulnerable and out of place like a fish out of water. Pisces/12th house and air placements are possible. They are a dreamer, they have this "where am I? Who am I?" type of vibe😂😂 like they are just one with the energies, I feel like this person is very in tune with the spiritual side of life themselves. Your person is very attractive in a soft aesthetic way, ethereal and beyond physical charms that rope you in like a buoy in the crashing waves of the sea🌊 You are destined to love this person with all your heart, to cherish eachother on levels deeper many can experience. A soulmate connection is likely, and this is such a deep and contemporary romance as well as passionate. You will fulfill many desires with this person, because they take you to higher places you can't explain. I was also getting some "spicy"👀 messages coming out in this pile but since this is not an 🔞 reading I was like 👁👄👁 "not today-" LOL it will not complement the soft/dreamy vibe of this reading lol😂👌 So for my pile 2's that are interested, your person has some intense desire for you for sure maybe check out my dark pac readings for some messages in that😅😳 :'> Overall this is a very intuitive and romantic person, they are all giving and all consuming in this destined love with you.💗

💌Messages from them: I don't look at other people, I'm addicted to your love, You might get hurt, I have nothing to give, I'm not okay (🥺🥺💔) Extra cards: Alien, In, Fantasy, Shopping, Age, 12th house, 9th house, Sagittarius, Jupiter, 6th house (Destiny calls to heal this person and their fantasies, to either restrict or enhance their deepest desires.)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the swan emoji~🦢 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3🛋

Sign energy: Try, Activity, Library, Unicorn, Keep a secret, Chiron, Gemini, Vertex, Sun, 3rd house, 😫👿🕯⛓

☁️Your energy: Alright my pile 3's could be Gemini, Leo, Virgo or prominent 3rd house energy. I'm getting some heavy vibes with this some, something is telling me that many in this pile are new to tarot or giving it a try for the first time or for some could have quit for a while and come back for some answers. If you felt this way this definitely could be your pile. I am sensing some worried energy, my pile 3's are not telling anyone what they have been up to recently🤫🙊 You have been keeping this to yourself, and maybe even the idea of loving someone is something you are not ready to share just yet. You guys are very unique and smart, you have a talent for knowing things and speaking well. Sometimes you have a dark side that you don't want to show, and it is your deepest worries and thoughts that hold you down. You may read a lot, there could be many book lovers in this pile. I feel as if you are afraid of fate hence why you are trying to see the future you are uncertain of.😟 My pile 3's are very cautious people especially when it comes to life and fate. You are heavily drawn to the occult, but also fear those practices. You see fate and destiny as chains that weigh you down, and you wish to break free to finally reach the clouds above. You are an independent and spiritually wise thinker.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fight, First, Honey, Spring, Skin, 4th house, Cancer, Water, Moon, Capricorn, 🛎🤞☔🍑 Okay my lovely pile 3's I keep getting an anxious energy, this could be about love itself. I hope this may ease my pile 3's uncertainties of the future.😞💖 This person you are destined to love has a strong personality, one that somehow compliments yours. Okay but like when you guys first meet??😍 I'm getting some passionate and bold conflict turned into something really sweet💞 I feel like you argued with this person a lot when you first met, but then after you set aside your disagreements you realized how caring and loving they can be.😢 You may have gotten very defensive about yourself or things they told you, but you soon learned to listen to their words as they hold truth and only wish to help you. They may be born in spring. Cancer and Capricorn energy is strong for this pile's person, you are destined to meet them. This connection will show you to be less skeptical and afraid of conflict and disagreement, and to learn how to understand those who seem cold or not "good" on the surface. I'm feeling this person wasn't nice to you at first, only after you loosened up from the emotional shell you tried to protect yourself with. They finally started being nice to you without reason, or perhaps you didn't realize their kindness until then. This connection is meant to shift perspectives, and hold security in trusting others. This is such a powerful lesson within this fated love omggg😭💗 Some of you might marry this person!!💍

💌Messages from them: Are you attracted to me? Don't talk to me, You can't control me, I'll only distract you, I'll never forgive you (My pile 3 your person really cares about you and they tend to push you away and it seems like they're brushing you off but that's how they show their love for you by removing themselves from the situation to let you heal and take your time😭🤍) Extra cards: One of a kind, Feminine, Hold on, Style, Juno, Moon, Eros, 9th house, Scorpio, Taurus (Omgg they see you as a devine feminine to them, their other half. They want to marry you for real!!🥺)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sofa emoji~🛋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4🎹

Sign energy: Find, Desert, Quiet, Winter, Hands are tied, Eros, 7th house, Sagittarius, Pisces, Earth, 🖌🕯💘🥊

☁️Your energy: Ohh I'm loving the energy of pile 4 we have some prominent Jupiter placements here!! Could be a Libra, Sagittarius or Pisces somewhere in your charts <3 earth signs are possible. I'm definitely getting Sag/Pisces vibes from you guys😇 Creative dreamers searching for self expression and love~ some of you may be more on the quiet/shy side or more submissive in relationships. But outside of them you are a free spirit with a wild heart, you just love having fun and doing the things that make you happy. You want to find a soulmate, someone who is spiritually tied to you... who's heart is locked to yours eternally. You are looking for a person who will appreciate your creativity and spirituality, your soft and illusive dreamy self with a passion to explore life and everything you love. You may be an artist/painter or enjoy those activities, or physical sports like weight lifting or going to the gym. Could be interested in boxing. You are a fighter and a lover because you fight for love. May be born in winter, also I'm getting specific middle east vibes so some of you could be from there.💫💕

💘Who you're destined to love: Soulmates, Forgiveness, Backwards, 11th house, Date, Mars, Cancer, Venus, 1st house, Lilith, 🤕🍳🍂🏷 This is someone from your past, now I'm getting some past lover vibes. For some of you this is an ex, or someone you had an argument with. I'm sensing someone you will meet online, or have possibly already met before. I am seeing that in the beginning of this connection, you or them were too impulsive or quick to complain about the way things started off between you two. After some time I'm seeing the work of fate brings you back to this person, and you will be surprised how much they held on to this connection.😦 Like you will be shocked how much this person really cared (maybe you thought they would be angry/distant with you) but like this person will be on their knees for you omg.😖😳 This person is very emotional and honestly so deeply in love with this pile and they just want a second chance😞💕 They regret their past decisions and the way they treated you, and fate is calling you to accept and love them, this is after all who you are destined to love. There may have been a misunderstanding in the beginning or a first impression that affected your judgement of them, but there will be clarity with this person finally and my pile 4 you will see the truth about them. They are genuinely attached to my pile 4's and have just so much love and respect for you.🥺 You are destined to love and cherish them aswell, as it is very likely you will find this to be your soulmate.💗

💌Messages from them: To me, I feel so confused, It's all fake, Why would you want me? Our eyes have met (They are so scared of loosing you because they feel in their heart you guys are meant to be soulmates😫💞) Extra cards: Despair, Cuddle, Backwards, Previous, Love at first sight, 9th house, Libra, Water, 6th house, Neptune (They would be sad without you pile 4 they feel as if the work of fate brought you together😭😖💖)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the piano emoji~🎹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[edwinspaynes]

Did I have a really bad night last night in no small part because of a s2 spoiler? Yes. Did I have a Payneland Meltdown? Sure.

But this morning I have gained clarity, and a couple of things have made me feel better about some of the spoilers. I'm going to share them with you in hopes that it will quell some anxiety.

George and Jayden seem extremely excited about the season 2 that they read. It appears super genuine in the new Gameodens, and even if you wanted to argue that it was For the Hype, George also seemed really pumped about them before the show was canceled. They don't seem like performative people regardless, but past behavior also indicates that, yes, the excitement is real.

Both Jayden and George expressed that Charles and Edwin are soulmates. They have read all of the available scripts, and they are still expressing that (very true) sentiment.

They also explicitly said that Edwin and Charles are basically married anyway and that "dating" would be a "step down" for them.

Re: the "fight" that triggered my Episode last night: there is genuinely no way that the boys would have fought for an entire season, let alone forever. It wouldn't make sense and would be antithetical to the entire point of the show. Not to mention George and Jayden having professed them soulmates! "Tense for a lot of it" could mean many things, including that things were tense for a lot of the fight (rather than the season) and got less tense as the fight progressed. "A lot of it" could also just mean 1-2 episodes since they don't really fight.

George and Jayden also explicitly said that disagreements could be healthy, so I'm going to believe that they meant they came out stronger on the other side.

Also, as a kind soul in my comments last night said, there's really nothing for them to fight over besides each other. It probably would have been out of love anyway.

Re: the Catwin sex. Disclaimer is that I don't mind this because I've always thought it would be an interesting plot point. BUT, as a hardcore Payneland shipper myself,I understand why people might not like it. Please remember that it's part of a story! It's the middle of a story, not the ending! Catwin is likely, as I hoped for, a step on the journey toward Edwin figuring out that he only wants these experiences with Charles. Every road leads back to them.

I actually think that Jayden and George might have said that all roads lead to them as well in one of the Gameodens, but I don't know where. Maybe I dreamed it.

We are getting tiny little snippets of 8 hours worth of television. We have maybe a collective 150-character Tweet and 1.5 minutes of out-of-context video spoilers. Catastrophizing doesn't make any logical sense. (I'm not talking down to anyone here, I promise. I'm repeating the mantra I told myself for like an hour last night.)

Season 2 was also not intended to be the last season! They wanted 6! This is Act 2 of 6. It's not even the middle of the story!

[rpfshippingpolls]

⚠️ DON’T START DISCOURSE ABOUT RPF IN THE NOTES!! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IF YOU DO SO ⚠️

Do you ship it?

Reason:

“There is not enough time in the world to even get into all of it. Best friends since forever. Call each other soulmates. Pete writes insane lyrics that he admits are about Patrick (ie “I’m half doomed and you’re semi sweet” or honestly just google “Peterick True Blue Magic” that one’s insane.) Also cal themselves one half of a whole, that the two of them make one person. Like? Okay. Genuinely I could go on forever but there’s too much my brains scrambles just. Trust me.”

“The stage gay in the early 2000's seemed too real and some love songs have direct references to Patrick”

Submitted by @punk-gremlin and one other

[0omillo0]

Model! Han Jisung x Interviewer! Reader

Love at first sight

Han is called by Balmain to attend his fashion show, but he doesn't know that that night his eyes will meet the ones of his soulmate

( 🫧 ) fluff!!

masterlist

The air buzzed with excitement in the heart of Paris as fashion enthusiasts and celebrities gathered outside the grand Palais des Congrès. Laughter and chatter filled the space, and the scent of fresh croissants wafted through the air, mingling with the high-end perfumes of the crowd. The sun cast a warm glow over the gathered throng, illuminating the diverse styles decked out for the Balmain fashion show.

Among the crowd, Han Jisung adjusted his tailored Balmain blazer, its sharp lines accentuating his slender frame. He smiled at the cameras flashing around him, but his thoughts drifted beyond the lenses. He was here for more than just the fashion; he craved something real, something he hadn’t found in the industry yet.

As the show began, the atmosphere shifted. Models glided down the runway, showcasing bold silhouettes and vibrant colors. Amidst the dazzle, a voice broke through the sounds of gasps and applause.

“Han Jisung! Over here!”

He turned to see a woman waving a microphone, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. She was a reporter, her name tag identifying her as Y/N. Jisung felt a magnetic pull towards her, a warmth that filled the air between them.

“Can we grab a quick interview?” she asked, her voice confident yet friendly.

“Sure!” he replied, taking a step closer. The noise of the crowd faded as their eyes locked. “What do you want to know?”

“First, what’s it like walking the Balmain show?” Y/N asked, her curiosity genuine.

“It’s exhilarating,” he replied, a grin forming. “The energy of the crowd, the designs... it’s all so inspiring. I feel like I’m part of something bigger.”

Y/N noted his passion, her heart fluttering. “What do you think sets Balmain apart from other brands?”

“Balmain is about boldness,” he said, his expression earnest. “Every piece tells a story, and I love being part of that narrative.”

Her pen scribbled notes furiously, but her attention remained on him. “And what story do you want to tell today?”

He paused, considering his words. “Today, I want to show that fashion can be both art and a reflection of self. It’s important to stay true to who you are. Also I’m glad Oliver himself gave me this opportunity.”

“Beautifully said,” Y/N smiled, captivated. “What’s next for you?”

“I’m working on some personal projects,” Jisung replied, his gaze unwavering. “I want to explore music more deeply, and maybe, a collaboration with some artists. Fashion is just one part of my expression.”

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, the buzz of the fashion show becoming a distant hum. Jisung leaned closer, as if sharing a secret. “And what about you? What brought you to Paris?”

Y/N hesitated, then chuckled softly. “I’ve always dreamed of being in the fashion capital, interviewing the most talented people. I guess you could say I’m living my dream, but it’s hard to keep up with all the glamour.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” he countered, his voice low and sincere. “You’re doing amazing work. And you definitely have a way of making an interview feel... special.”

As the show concluded, the crowd erupted in applause. Jisung glanced at Y/N, who was still watching him, her eyes filled with admiration. “I really appreciate this time, Y/N. It’s not often I feel this connection during interviews.”

“Likewise,” she replied, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“I just realized,” he said, his expression shifting slightly. “I forgot my phone at the hotel. Could I borrow yours to call someone?”

“Of course!” Y/N responded, handing him her phone, a flutter of excitement swirling in her stomach.

He took the device, his fingers brushing against hers as he dialed a number. But he didn’t call anyone, instead he gave her her phone back. Confused, she looks at her phone reading in the notes his number and ‘Call me when you want :)’

“Wait, you’re giving me your number?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I mean, why not? We had a great conversation,” he replied with a playful smile. “And who knows, maybe I could use your help navigating the Parisian scene.”

Her heart raced as she took the slip of paper he handed her. “I’ll definitely keep this,” she said, tucking it away. “I’d love to help.”

“Great! Maybe we can grab coffee or something?” Jisung suggested, his eyes hopeful.

“Absolutely,” she said, feeling a surge of excitement. “I’d love that.”

As the crowd began to disperse, Y/N felt an urge to seize the moment. “Why don’t you come to my apartment after the show? It’s not far from here. We could talk more, maybe about that collaboration you mentioned. I don’t want to sound to.. hasty tho!! Feel free to refuse!”

“Really?” His face lit up, and a grin spread across his lips. “I’d love to. Just give me a second to change out of this suit.”

“Take your time. I’ll be waiting,” she replied, her heart pounding.

A short while later, they met outside, Jisung now in a casual yet stylish outfit. He walked beside her through the charming Parisian streets, the sun setting and casting a golden glow on everything.

“This city is incredible,” he said, glancing around. “I can see why people fall in love with it.”

“It’s even better when you’re exploring it with someone,” Y/N said, glancing sideways at him, the connection between them palpable.

They arrived at her apartment, a cozy place filled with eclectic decor and soft lighting. Y/N gestured for him to sit as she poured two glasses of wine.

“Cheers to new friendships,” she said, raising her glass.

“Cheers,” he echoed, clinking his glass against hers, their fingers brushing again.

As they sipped their wine, the conversation flowed easily, laughter punctuating the air. Jisung leaned in closer, his voice a soft murmur. “You know, I’ve never felt this way about someone I just met.”

“Me neither,” Y/N confessed, her heart fluttering as she met his gaze. “It’s like... there’s something special here.”

He sighed, a content smile on his lips. “We should enjoy this moment, whatever it is.”

Y/N watched him, captivated by the way his eyes sparkled. “Agreed. But I can’t help but wonder what happens next.”

“Let’s not think about the ‘next’ just yet,” he said, moving a little closer. “Let’s just enjoy what we have right now.”

With the atmosphere thickening, Y/N felt a rush of courage. “Jisung,” she murmured, “would it be too forward if I said I really want to kiss you?”

His breath caught, his eyes widening slightly before a soft chuckle escaped his lips. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

And just like that, the space between them shrank, the world outside fading away. Jisung cupped her face gently, leaning in until their lips met. It was a sweet, tentative kiss that quickly deepened, filled with the promise of something beautiful.

When they finally pulled away, both breathless, Y/N smiled shyly. “Wow. I didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I,” Jisung admitted, his forehead resting against hers. “But I’m glad it happened.”

Y/N gazed into his eyes, feeling a warmth spread through her. “So, what do we do now?”

“Let’s keep this between us for now,” he suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I think we have something worth exploring.”

“I like the sound of that,” she said, her heart soaring. “A secret romance in the city of love.”

“Exactly,” he replied, a smile playing on his lips. “Just you, me, and Paris.”

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the city lights began to twinkle, reflecting the magic of their newfound connection—a love that blossomed amidst the glamour and chaos, hidden yet vibrant, waiting to unfold.

As days turned into weeks, their secret meetings became the highlight of both their lives. They strolled through cobblestone streets, shared quiet dinners in tucked-away bistros, and found solace in each other’s laughter.

One evening, as they sat on a balcony overlooking the Seine, Y/N turned to Jisung, her heart full. “What if we told the world?”

He paused, his gaze thoughtful. “I want to, but I’m afraid of how it might change things. The industry can be harsh.”

She nodded, understanding the weight of his words. “But we can’t keep hiding forever. I want to be proud of what we have.”

“Me too,” he admitted, taking her hand. “Let’s give it time. We can enjoy this moment without the pressure of the world watching.”

Y/N smiled, feeling reassured. “Okay. We’ll take it slow.”

Their connection deepened, the love that had sparked in Paris growing into something beautiful and real. They learned to navigate the complexities of their lives, balancing their careers with their devotion to each other, always cherishing the moments stolen beneath the Parisian sky.

And as they embraced the uncertainty of their future, one thing remained clear—their love was worth every risk, every whispered secret, and every stolen kiss. In the city of love, they had found each other, and that was more than enough.

[girl4music]

I honestly find it so interesting how much of an idealistic romantic Gabrielle is in the first season and how her attraction seems to only be to warriors except that one guy that likes to tell stories like she does. Talus. It seemed to be less about attraction and more about recognition. She recognized in Talus a kindred spirit. He was kind and caring and sensitive and empathetic... Just like herself...

But with the warriors - Gabrielle’s interest in them was more obvious and she wasn’t drawing parallels to herself in them, but rather to Xena. And that’s how you knew that she was just substituting her unrealized attraction to Xena with these warriors. Even later on with the female warriors that had interest in her, she was still constantly rooted on her idealisation of Xena. Of being a warrior or with one.

And that would always be unhealthy for her - unless it was Xena.

But yeah, the other romantic interests that weren’t warriors… She was just drawing parallels to herself even though she wasn’t that way either. At least she was very quickly moving away and separating herself from that. Again - just an idealised version of the real person. And look - Perdicus only ever became interesting to Gabrielle when he was no longer just a villager too. When he was also a warrior with a tortured soul. Someone she could save. Someone she could fix...

But she already had that person in her life and she was already doing that job and playing that role for that person. She already had exactly what she was looking for in a romantic partner in Xena. She just never realized it because she mistook her attraction to and affection for Xena as just hero worship and the fantasy of being an adventuress.

Season 1 just lays it on really thick that the Perfect Match for either one of them is clearly each other. They said they weren’t doing this intentionally and you can see that but they understood the romantic interest characters were just paralleling both their lead characters in that the traits in them are the reason they were attractive to them.

It’s much more obvious with Gabrielle than with Xena but even Xena had romantic interests that were just an idealised male version of what she loved in Gabrielle. What she found attractive and desirable.

So really they HAD TO come to the conclusion that they do in Season 2 that it’s EACH OTHER because otherwise you’d just get this paralleling happening constantly and not really a progression. And only Xena’s bad boy attraction ever makes sense because that’s Ares. That’s what Ares does for and to her. He isn’t an idealisation. He isn’t ever a fantasy for her. She genuinely is attracted to him and desires him. That’s the only romantic interest character that doesn’t feel like a poor attempt to cover up the fact that it’s Gabrielle she wants to be with. But then what happens is every "bad boy" romantic interest character she has ends up just being a parallel to Ares instead. So it’s always either just one or the other. Ares or Gabrielle. Dark or Light.

There never seems to be a point where Xena’s paired with a romantic interest to recognize herself like Gabrielle is because it’s never about realizing her identity or sexuality. It’s about balancing her nature.

But even so,... it’s obvious the Perfect Match for her is Gabrielle. And this goes on for 2 entire seasons until the half-way point of Season 2 raises the stakes and they have to acknowledge the truth of what’s going on with the narrative when it comes to the romantic aspect.

The real romance is, always was and always will be EACH OTHER.

It’s like Xena had to be bashed in the head, die and come back life for them to get to the point of “Oh, it’s you. You’re my true love. You’re my Perfect Match. You’re my soulmate. You're the one for me!"

Even then it takes them half the fucking length of the TV show to even commit to anything actually solid within their relationship. They know their feelings, they know each other’s feelings by that point but they are still so absolutely clueless. 🤦‍♀️ They have to be told. They have to get this information hand fed to them via reincarnation and AU crazy shenanigans before they can be like “Okay, we can’t deny it now. We’re clearly meant to be together for eternity… so should we perhaps go for an actual romance? Should we be an official couple?"

And it’s so meta how they do this because it’s both an in-show and out-of-show thing. It’s like the moment they decide both in-Universe and in real life that this is where they’re going with their progression.

It just works. It works so well for it to happen like this - for them to progress like this - and it is so interesting to delve into and explore the slow burnish-ness to their character dynamic because these characters discover each other in such a way that you rarely ever see in TV. And when you do see it, it’s never two lead female characters.

I’m just so grateful. I am so fucking grateful for XENA and for a team of creators/cast/crew that AGREED! I mean the way they set it up not even intending for anything like this to occur but it just... does.

Steven L. Sears is right. Is it really a surprise that these incredibly dynamic female lead characters would end up as a WLW love story?

No,... because how else could they have progressed individually? This was the natural trajectory because it made the most sense for both characters to evolve in this way AND to be their Perfect Match. And it is a queer narrative all the way through from episode 1 to the last because... at the end of the day THEY were the heart of all of it. Everything that happens, every narrative choice, every theme, every plot arc twist - it all wraps extremely tightly around their love story. It doesn't matter whether it was initially intended or not. It was THE WAY the story was heading naturally because it's a queer narrative and they let these lead characters evolve the way it felt most right and I feel they really took this relationship seriously as a romantic one precisely because they didn't just make it about a romance. That their "have their cake and eat it too" made this show phenomenal and I don't care what anyone says. It's THE BEST WLW representation.

But only because the creators/cast/crew went there. Only because they agreed. Only because they allowed it. Deep fucking RESPECT!

[augustjustice]

🪱Wiggly Worm Wednesday 🪱

Thank you so much for tagging me @formosusiniquis and @sidekick-hero 💛🖤It's been ages, but I finally have some down time and some thoughts to share!

Transcribed and expanded upon from an idea I discussed with @inkfowl on discord a while ago, this one is always kind of burning at the back of my brain:

Steddie soulmate AU where Steve and Eddie are not each other's soulmates.

Like, maybe Steve's romantic soulmate is Nancy (because of course Robin will always be his true platonic soulmate), but Nancy, being someone who goes against the grain and doesn't want the system to dictate to her who she is, will be, or will be with, already rejected Steve for Jonathan in the earlier seasons. She didn't want to end up trapped in a loveless soulmate marriage by her parents, and she felt called to Jonathan soulmate bond be damned.

Like in canon, Steve was deeply heartbroken at the time when it happened, always being a romantic who wanted to find the one true person he was destined to be with forever. But because he did truly care about Nancy, he let her go, didn't want to stand in the way of her true happiness. And by the time Season 4 rolls around, his own feelings have developed into a healthy friendship with Nancy, having truly moved on the way he told Robin he was in the bathroom confession, and at that point he honestly wouldn't want to go back to the way things were before. Even though he's sad it isn't destined to happen the way it does in all the rom-coms and fairytales, he still wants real romantic love (Robin and the kids more than fulfill the share of platonic and familial love he's looking for, in a way his parents never managed to) and hasn't given up on finding it.

So then the S4 shenanigans happen, Steve officially meets Eddie the DM the kids keep raving about, and falls for him pretty fast even while they're still trying to sort out all the carnage with Vecna.

At first, Eddie keeps pushing Steve in Nancy's direction, because from his perspective, they're soul mates, and it's so clear there's feelings still lingering there. Plus, they'd obviously be a badass perfect couple, just look at them. (And if that's the perfect excuse Eddie tells himself to keep from getting too tangled up in his own feelings, well that's a secret for him and no one else.)

But even in the aftermath of the Upside Down shenanigans, Steve and Nancy still don't get back together, and Steve is insistent that they're just friends, managing to convince Eddie that he's being sincere. So, something tentatively starts to build between them. Nothing officially romantic, yet, but they're slowly working their way up to it, flirting and feeling each other out.

And sure, they shouldn't make sense on paper--in the larger scheme of the universe, they don't, allegedly, given the lack of soulmate mark binding them together. But besides just genuine attraction, everything that happened has bonded them together, and they genuinely feel safe together, able to open in ways they can't even with some of their closest friends. They might not have many surface things in common like shared hobbies and interests, but when it comes to the things they both think actually matters, they have a lot in common--like their protectiveness over the kids, a shared inherent silliness, etc. They make each other laugh, they comfort each other on bad nights when the nightmares keep them up. It seems only a matter of time before the tension overwhelms them and they collide together, finally make it official the way Robin is impatiently waiting on them too.

...But then Eddie's own soulmate waltzes into the picture.

Steve finds himself heart-broken all over again, because he's always the second choice. And how the hell is he supposed to compete with Eddie's actual, honest-to-god soulmate? Especially when the guy is just perfect for him--completely into metal, a nonconformist, knows and likes all the songs that Eddie likes. The guy is even hot which pisses Steve the hell off. But he tries to hide it, do what he did for Nancy and push his feelings aside as he encourages Eddie to take his shot with the guy like a good friend would. Because if he really cares about Eddie, then he should just be happy for him, right? He's getting the shot Steve never did.

Robin insists, from the outside looking in, that Eddie seems a lot more conflicted than Steve is willing to see. Confused and hurt at first when Steve pulls away. Going on dates with the guy only after Steve seems so insistent that he give him a chance, telling him he should be excited because It's your honest to god soulmate, dude!

But even as he tries to be supportive, Steve's jealousy keeps bubbling up. Things eventually come to a head in an argument.

"I don't care why you care so much anyway, Harrington! Now's your perfect chance to swoop in--you've got Miss Perfect Nancy Wheeler out there just waiting for you to get your shit together, stop 'experimenting,' and finally go back to her!"

"Newsflash, Eddie! I already told you, I'm not in love with Nancy. And besides, it wouldn't matter even if I was, since I'm her second choice, just like with you, just like--with everybody!"

And then Steve presses an arm over his face to hide his tears, but Eddie catches his wrist and tugs it down.

“Yeah, except, that's where you're wrong, Stevie boy,” he says, cupping Steve’s face in his hands and brushing away his tears with his thumbs, “because you're not. My second choice. Some stupid ass birthmark can’t tell me shit. I don’t want him, I don’t want anyone else, Stevie. Just you."

And then they get an epic, tearful kiss, and Eddie makes some crack about how it's super conformist to end up with your soulmate, anyway, not a very metal thing to do, and Steve lets out a watery laugh in the crook of his neck and then kisses him to shut him up.

Eddie tells Steve all about how he misses his and Steve's silly arguments, and finds it boring that his soulmate and he always seem to agree on things, because where's the fun in that? There's no real spark. None of the push-and-pull he gets when exposing Steve to his interests and the times Steve actually gets into it. Or the delighted confusion when Steve tries to get him into something new and Eddie realizes he actually does like it, or even when he doesn't, seeing Steve enjoy it is enough to make him go from disgust to fond tolerance. And Steve admits he missed it all too, so much, even the metal songs Eddie forced him to listen to that Steve hates he's been playing on a loop while he wallows.

"I want this," Eddie tells him, kissing the tear tracks from Steve's face, "you're here, Stevie, and you're real, and this feels more right than anything else ever has. So, whaddya say, big boy? Will you have me?"

"You're my first pick, Eds," Steve admits, smiling softly, "there's nobody else I'd rather have on my team but you."

Then Eddie complains about Steve marring his love confession with a sports metaphor, and how it's not even true, anyway, because he knows Robin is actually Steve's first draft or whatever. Steve teases him about picking up sports lingo before shutting him up the best way he knows how--with his lips.

And they of course live happily ever after making their own love work, building it together. Even if it doesn't makes sense on paper, even if it's not predestined, they picked it and its theirs. At the end of the day, as far as they're concerned--that's all that really matters.

I'm no pressure tagging @tinytalkingtina @griefabyss69 @wheneverfeasible @thefreakandthehair @ataliagold and anyone else who sees this and would like to join in!

[totheblood]

true blue. (four)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie has a crisis

warnings: suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: MORE ELLIE JOURNALING.. this is the final part! i won't be writing any more true blue i apologize i didn't realize how emotionally taxxing this would be for me. also the ai audios are at the bottom! hope u like them THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD - I apologize. I would greatly appreciate any reblogs, comments, asks you have about this chapter. thank you for supporting me through this journey!

read the first three chapters here from the masterlist!

Ellie was on the verge of breaking down.

This pain was becoming all too familiar to her and the weight of it only grew each second she spent with you. Her fingertips had grown numb as she sat across from you in the restaurant as she wrapped them around the base of her glass. If she thought the heartbreak of Cat would take her out, she knew that the heartbreak of you would move her existence to a different plane of existence.

If she was really honest with herself, she didn’t really love Cat, but rather how Cat had made her feel. It was all-consuming, over the top, mushy love. The love you see in movies but never expect to happen to you, but it was all just words when it came down to it. The fact of the matter is, if you tell someone they’re your soulmate ten times a day they will start to believe it. 

It wasn’t oxytocin that Ellie felt around Cat, it was pure adrenaline. She was always looking to reach that high with her again as she pulled away from her, but as the rush died out and Cat continuously degraded Ellie, she found herself accepting less than she deserved or wanted. She wanted Cat to want her again, but Cat never wanted her. Cat never wanted anybody.

But it wasn’t like that with you. For starters, you didn’t tell Ellie you were in love with her on your second date. You didn’t try to convince her that she was made for you. You were just there with your sickly sweet smile and long eyelashes that made Ellie’s heart pound in her chest. You were good.

Or so she thought. 

She couldn’t quite explain why, but Ellie believed Cat. Cat was a manipulator and a bitch, but she wasn’t a liar. Plus, the way her face filled with joy at the chance to tell Ellie that her current fix hated her was too real. The sinister laugh was fucking genuine.

So here Ellie sat across from you at the dinner she had planned to ask you to be her girlfriend at, a sick rage burning in her chest. She didn’t know why she didn’t cancel but she didn’t know why she was doing a lot of things these days.

“Tell me about your day.” You spoke, breaking Ellie out of her trance.

“My day?” She questioned, eyes flicking up to you.

“Yeah, silly. Anything interesting happen?” You asked, the smile on your face stirring something evil in Ellie’s gut. You looked so fucking good today it’s almost if you knew she was planning on asking you out. 

“No.. not really. Ran into my ex actually.” She said simply, playing with the fork in her hand. She studied your face closely and watched as it slightly faltered at the mention of her ex. If she didn’t know you, she might’ve not caught it. 

“Oh, really?” You questioned, sipping your water and toying with the chain around your neck. It was a tell tale sign you were nervous. “You don’t really talk about your ex.” 

“Yeah, she was the worst so I don’t like thinking, or talking, about her all that much.” Ellie knew her tone was coming off harsh, but she didn’t care. The way your demeanor changed told her all she needed to know about you.

“Yeah… that makes sense.” You were obviously uncomfortable with how the air shifted but you were trying to keep the peace. “My day was good, I went to that thing in the Student Center. The therapy dog thing. It was so cute I almost died. Do you want to see a picture of me and the dogs?” 

“Not really.” Ellie replied, leaning back in her chair. The way your face fell would have made her put together heart break.

“D-did I do something?” Your voice was shaking a bit but your gaze remained steady. Ellie needed to leave.

“No, baby, I’m not really having the best day so I’m just going to leave.” Before you could even protest Ellie threw down three twenties, grabbed her jacket, and left. You didn’t chase after her, nor did you call that night, and Ellie knew it was sick of her, but that really bothered her. 

D: idk i don’t think pookiana would do that

E: Pookiana?? Seriously? This isn’t funny, Dina.

D: i know it’s not funny but are you really trusting cat

E: You should have seen her face when I said I ran into Cat. Plus Cat was too happy to tell me. It’s true, D.

D: well u should still talk to her about it, just abandoning her at a date is not cool

D: it’s cat behavior

E: Don’t do that.

E: I need to do something. I need to be out.

D: there’s a house party tomorrow? you could join

E: Will there be girls?

D: ellie what r u doing 

D: don’t do this don’t self destruct

E: Yes or no?

D: there are always girls 

E: I’ll be there.

The following night Ellie found herself taking several hits off her pen for courage. Deep inside she knew she wanted to be with you tonight, wrapped up in your comically large blankets watching a dumb movie or Planet Earth, but she couldn’t do that to herself. 

Plus, you hadn’t contacted her since the date and it was driving Ellie crazy. At this point she had assumed that you knew she caught onto you and had decided a fight wasn’t worth your time. So she decided not to care, an ability that seemed all too new to her.

The party was as fun as you could imagine, skins slick with sweat and the air dry and humid. Ellie was feeling adventurous and, for once in her sorry life, she didn’t stick to the side of the wall for the entirety of the night. She was socializing, laughing, and even dancing. On the outside she appeared happy and carefree.

On the inside, however, Ellie was beginning to panic. She knew escaping the reality of her life would only be a brief relief from the things that plagued her everyday mind, but she didn’t expect the high to die off so quickly. Her mind was telling her, run run run, but her feet stayed planted and her body continued to sway. 

In the dark of the party and the high still hanging over her head, she almost didn’t realize the girl dancing in front of her. She began to grind on Ellie, shaking her hips to the music and causing Ellie’s brain to short circuit. 

It felt wrong, mostly because it wasn’t you. Fuck fuck fuck, her brain rang again as it did many times before, but this time Ellie wasn’t stopping. Not only did she not stop the girl, but her own hands found her waist, holding on as Ellie pulled her in and swayed with the music. Ellie hated to admit it but she was turned on. Her touch-starved and emotionally rotting brain needed skin to skin contact to bring her back down to Earth, she needed to be held by someone. 

Unlike last time, however, she refused to find solace in crying on Dina’s lap again. No, this time she was going to find it in the lips of another. So as she danced she began to press sloppy wet kisses on the girl’s neck, making sure to take her skin in between her teeth. She was trying to elicit a response, any response that would tell her how good she was doing. And when she got that, a moan from the girl in front of her that rumbled across Ellie’s chest, she held her back to her chest and connected her lips to hers. 

It felt good, it felt foreign, and for a brief moment in time Ellie’s mind was completely silent. She wasn’t thinking about the name of the girl she was kissing. She wasn’t thinking about Cat. She wasn’t thinking of you. The only thought that consumed her at this moment was how her tongue was in a random person’s mouth and how amazing it felt. Until, she was being ripped off of the girl and met with your tear-stained face.

“What the fuck are you doing, Ellie?” You cried out, the person Ellie was just intertwined with now slinking off into a corner. The party went on, but others stopped to watch the scene you were beginning to make.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” She spat, anger written all over her face. Her heart was aching in her chest at the sight of you. She wanted to reach out to you, kiss the tears off your face and tell you everything was okay, but she didn’t have it in her to do that.

“It looks like you’re cheating on me.” You fumed, eliciting a gasp from the party goers. Dina pushed past a group of people to find the two of you staring down each other. She frantically ran up in between you and Ellie, grabbing both of your arms before pulling you up the stairs and outside. 

The air outside was cold. Under the streetlights you could see the tip of Ellie’s nose turn red, but what you now noticed was the red rim around her eyes. She had been crying but it was masked by the seemingly unprovoked rage she had for you. 

“I’m not cheating on you because I’m not with you… you are not my girlfriend.” She pointed out, her anger looking more like sadness. 

“I’m not your girlfriend… but I mean something to you, right?” You pleaded, letting your tears fall freely. 

“You meant something to me. Not anymore. I’m not doing this with you. I won’t be able to survive it if it’s you.” Ellie was almost sure she wasn’t making much sense, but her head was pounding and Dina was standing on the porch staring at the two of you with her arms crossed. All Ellie wanted to do was run, but if she ran she had a feeling she would be running from you her whole life.

“What did I do? Just tell me that. I thought we were happy.” You were sobbing, but everytime you took a step towards Ellie, she took a step back.

“Did you know about me before we met?” Ellie asked with a straight face.

“Wha-” You began.

“Did you know who I was before we met? It’s a simple question.” 

“Yes… but-” You were trying to explain yourself but Ellie wasn’t having it. For some reason you confirming her suspicions hurt more than she assumed it would and she was already turning around walking back towards the house. 

“Ellie, stop! Let me explain.” You pleaded, chasing after her hot on her tracks. She whipped around to turn back to you, her speed almost knocking you off your feet.

“No, you don’t get to explain. I trusted you. I liked you. I fell for you for fucks sake. I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend after swearing that I would never let that happen and it was all what? A joke to you? This isn’t fucking funny, this is my life. And you… you made it good for so long and to know that it was all fake? I’m not coming back from this.” Ellie was speaking without thinking at this point.

“You think this is a joke to me? Are you fucking serious? When were you going to mention that we shared an ex? Huh? You want to be mad at me for what? Not liking you 2 years ago when I didn’t know you? When my ex told me she was leaving me for you? This hasn’t been some revenge plot Ellie, it was two years ago. I moved on. Did I think I was going to move on with you? No, but I did and I can’t change that, but you don’t get to treat me like this for not sharing that piece of information with you. You don’t get to reduce my love for you down to that. Down to Cat.” Your tears had stopped flowing but your eyes and face were still puffy. 

“I didn’t tell you about it because I had decided to put it- Wait… you love me?” Ellie stopped herself, not realizing what you had said. 

“What? I never said that.” You argued. 

“You just did. You said, “You don’t get to reduce my love for you down to that.” She said, mocking your voice. 

“I don’t fucking sound like that, and we are having a fight right now. Can we get back to it?” You reiterated, but something in Ellie’s eyes had shifted. It was almost like she was expecting you to be the evil thing she thought you were, but you weren’t. But as the realization that you were, once again, innocent dawned on her, so did her guilt. 

“I just… I assumed you were doing this… dating me… to get back at me. Honestly, it’s because that’s exactly what I would do. But you’re not me, and I’m sorry. I don’t think I have ever felt this way about a person in my whole life. It was already freaking me out and then Cat told me that you hated me and my mind went to the worst. I’m just… I’m sorry.” Her voice was steady but she was panicking. All you did was stare at her with your puffy eyes and red lips and all Ellie wanted to do was kiss you. Give you a bath and rub your back till you forgave her. All she felt like she was doing was causing you more pain, and she wanted it all to stop.

“I love you.” It came out of Ellie’s mouth so quickly. Almost as a plea, but she knew she meant it. She knew she meant it a while ago but the idea of it becoming real terrified her. She watched as your eyes lit up then quickly dimmed again. Suddenly there were tears in your eyes and her confession felt more like an assault.

“Don’t do that. Don’t say that to me if you don’t mean it. I’ve healed from my shit with Cat but it still hurts, this hurts. Being led on. This back and forth. If you are saying you love me you have to mean it and you have to stay.” It was you saying this that made Ellie realize just how unfair she had been to you. She knew you had healed from Cat, but it was becoming painfully obvious how much work Ellie had to do. For fucks sake you had to watch her dry hump another girl just to have this conversation. And you were still here. You hadn’t left or avoided her, but rather gave her time to breathe. This was healthy. This was good. And Ellie felt like she didn’t deserve any of it.

“I do mean it. I love you. I love all the beautiful and weird things about you. I love you and I will say that until my face turns blue. I love the fuck out of you. I know I don’t deserve you, I know this is hard but I’m trying to grow. I want to stay. I want to be there for you, but I think I need help learning how. I’m not like you, I’m not there yet, but I want to be. For you.” Ellie was fidgeting with her hands, it was obvious she was extremely nervous and expected you to reject her.

What she didn’t expect was for you to close the gap in between the both of you and press a gentle kiss to her lips. 

“I’m going to stay, but if you grind up and make out with another girl again I’m leaving. No questions asked. Okay?” You were smiling a smile that said ‘I’m fucking serious’ and that made Ellie fall a little more in love with you.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t want anyone else’s lips except yours.” She smiled leaning down to press another kiss to your lips, then your cheek, and then your neck.

“Are you guys done? Can we go back to the party?” Dina yelled from the porch, having watched the whole scene unfold. Ellie just ignored her as she pressed another gentle kiss to your neck, her arms wrapping around your waist pulling you as close as possible to her. All you could do was laugh and allow Ellie to slightly lift you off of the ground with how tight she was holding you. 

“Real classy, you guys. I’m going back in.” Dina called out one more time, not knowing you and Ellie would never make it back inside.

One Year Later…

Excerpts from Ellie’s Journal:

My girlfriend is a saint… well obviously cause she’s dating me but she did the whole last part of our project. I was totally lost that whole class but my genius girl got us an A.. She did fail her pottery class. She’s so fucking bad at that shit.

I took her to a cat cafe for her birthday… she cried so much hugging the cat’s that we got asked to leave… we got asked to leave because my girlfriend was squeezing the cats so bad and crying into their fur. The barista said she was causing them emotional distress… I gave them one star on Yelp.

She came and visited Jackson over winter break… Game night with her and Joel was a complete nightmare, they are both so competitive. I had to hold her back because she tried to physically fight Tommy… God, I love her so much.

She got me a guitar pick with her initials on it for Christmas. Told me now I had to play for her, she didn’t know that her gift was the song I wrote her. My sweet little baby cried. It was so precious.

She’s so fucking talented with her fingerhiuoiji

We’re roommates next semester… I’m never going to get any fucking sleep. It’s fine because I like the trade-off but my grades are about to plummet.

I drew her when we were sitting together in the park today. It’s just getting warm again and she’s wearing shorter skirts… I know I sound like a perv but she looks really hot is skirts… anyways, I drew her and she cried.. Again. She’s so sentimental that it makes my heart ache.

I’ve never imagined in my whole sorry life that I could be this happy with someone. It’s easy. Whoever said love was hard wasn’t in love with my girl because it is by far the easiest thing I have done in my whole life. I sleep better at night, I smile more, I feel content. She has put the stars in the sky for me. I don’t know what I was so afraid of. Love is good. She is good. I love her.

It’s our one year anniversary and I can't believe this freak hasn’t killed me or herself yet (accidentally). She got a job at Bean and brings me home ice tea every day. We’ve started reading books together and she strokes my hair when she knows I’m tired. She knows me better than I know myself. I’ve learned things about myself while being with her. She encourages me everyday to grow and to try new things. I feel like a new person, but I still feel like me. Like the me who loves this girl with her whole heart. 

ai audios:

ai audios links:

what does it look like i'm doing?

did you know who i was?

you meant something to me

wait you love me?

i love you

yea yea

[badwolfrose34]

Rambles about The Doctor and Rose

So I’m starting to realize my overall perspective within the timepetals ship is not the most popular one so I want to explain my reasoning. I ship Tentoo/Rose AND I also believe that every future incarnation still thinks of her and knows that no matter what she will always have been the great love of their life.

First I’ll talk about Tentoo. I do believe he is exactly the same man as Ten. Rose did not just get a cheap clone she got the real deal. He’s just as much the Doctor as any other incarnation of the Doctor, he just happened to exist at the same time as Ten. I also believe that the Tentoo/Rose ending is the happiest most unproblematic ending possible for the two of them. The Doctor watching Rose grow old and sick while he remained young would’ve been tragic. Rose becoming immortal also would’ve been tragic. The tragedy of these alternate endings does not, to me, diminish the fact that every Doctor is in love with Rose Tyler and Rose Tyler would’ve been in love with every Doctor.

I don’t take Rose’s reaction to Ten almost fully regenerating as proof that she wouldn’t be just as in love if he did change. I take that moment as a human reaction to uncertainty and fear. As Nine, the Doctor ranted about how dodgy the process could possibly be. Let’s not forget how much pain the Doctor was in last time he regenerated. How horrifying it was to watch him be virtually comatose. I don’t think Rose thought she’d stop loving the Doctor. She promised forever, not “until you regenerate”. She was in a heightened emotional state and was thinking worst case scenarios like headless Doctor who won’t love her anymore (I’ll get to why I think that kind of thought process of him not loving her anymore might come from a triggered emotional state but isn’t actually a possible outcome of regeneration later).

Yes, Rose specifically adored Ten’s face and personality and if he had regenerated she would have grieved for it. It would’ve been a traumatic change no matter what, but like any other deep romance, it’s the soul she loved more than anything. And yes, I said triggered because I think what we know about her relationship with Jimmy Stone would’ve created abandonment issues. Which is why Rose could’ve erroneously believed regeneration would change the depth of the Doctor’s love for her. Not because it’s actually possible for a reset of one’s genetics to undo the deepest love the Doctor has felt and will ever feel.

Moving on, I don’t think it’s possible that the Doctor moved on from Rose, forgot Rose, or had the depth of his love for Rose diminish in any way. This may come from my own perspective on regeneration. The person at their core and the soul does not change. If the most significant parts of a person do not change then, the deepest truest love that individual felt could never go away just because the genetics of that person got overhauled. I think the love the Doctor felt for Rose is deep enough to be one of the things that will always be part of the Doctor. In the Novelization of “The Giggle” Fourteen reflects on how he still misses her despite knowing how well she’s doing. Yes Fourteen’s genes are probably almost the same as Ten’s but it is Fifteen who mentions her name as someone he loved. The only romantic interest he expresses love for. Besides, Wouldn’t it cheapen the moment the Doctor said Rose could spend her life with him but he’d have to live on alone, if he could ever just leave his feelings for her behind through time or regeneration?

The Doctor does try to recapture what they had with Rose to an extent but it never works and they know it never will because they know Rose is his soulmate and true love.

River feels more like something he pursues out of obligation, there never seems to be a genuine sense of love from his side at all. River knew this and said “you don’t expect the sunset to admire you back.” Yet, the Doctor’s love for Rose was so obvious he took comfort in knowing that Rose knew how he felt. He knew that she knew. It’s not that the Doctor is so beyond reach that they’re like a sunset. It’s just that their true love is Rose Tyler.

Eleven had a genuine attraction to Clara but that was over 200 years after Rose. It took that long for any attraction to anyone to form, and that attraction was part of his childhood regression persona. It seemed to go away when he regenerated to Twelve because he said “I’m not your boyfriend Clara.” Now that doesn’t prove to me that something as deep as the Doctor’s love for Rose would change via regeneration, only that a childlike crush would change. It was never anywhere near as deep as his feelings for Rose. (For any Clara fans out there I do believe the Doctor’s feelings later deepened into a strong queerplatonic bond, just not a deep romantic one).

Thirteen regenerated to look like Rose! I haven’t seen anyone mention this but she did. When the Doctor became a woman she used her true love as the blueprint. I did not see Thirteen and Yaz’s relationship fully but from what I gather, it was once again nowhere near as deep as the love the Doctor had for Rose.

Perhaps Rogue will be the deepest love the Doctor feels since Rose, but it will still never be as deep because Rose is his true love.

Yes it’s tragic for a character to live on for millenniums loving someone they can’t have, but I don’t think the Doctor is spending all that time sad they can’t have her. I think a lot of the time they draw strength from Rose’s love, even after all the time that has passed. Think back to when he said “That name keeps me fighting.”

Edit: To clarify I am not trying to imply that platonic or queerplatonic loves are less valuable than romantic. Or that the Doctor doesn’t have extremely meaningful platonic bonds throughout the show, but I am saying that the most impactful companion to him personally has been and always will be Rose. See my pinned post for more about why that is. I also think it is possible for the Doctor to fall in love again, but it just won’t be the same kind of soulmate love he had with Rose.

Edit 2: Rose’s significance goes beyond the romantic aspect—she was a transformative figure in the Doctor’s life, shaping his actions and identity in ways that are deeply personal. I fully acknowledge the importance of the Doctor’s platonic relationships, but in this post, my intention was to focus on the unique bond he shared with Rose, which I believe holds a special place in his life. Rose represents a transformative force, someone who shaped his actions and identity in ways no one else has. She is a uniquely important figure in his life. See my pinned post for a better explanation.

I chose to focus on the Doctor’s romantic relationships, not because I see romantic love as superior to platonic love, but because his most significant bond was a romantic one. As a result, the Doctor’s attempts to recapture this bond were in his later romantic relationships, but they fall short because she is his true love. It just so happens that his most meaningful connection is also a romantic one. This doesn’t mean I interpret every character this way, but it feels true for the Doctor and Rose.

[awarmcupofmilk]

Gojo x reader "Broken Mirror"

afab!reader

summary: you knew gojo was the one. gojo wasn't so sure.

content warnings: breakup/sad, angst, deviations from gojo’s past arc

word count: 1,226

note: hi lovelies, I'm back! I'm thinking of turning this into a series, thoughts?

© 2022 awarmcupofmilk

please don’t repost, edit, translate, use, or copy my works on any platforms (if you’d really like to please reach out – reblogs are welcome)

You’d known for a while Satoru was the one.

When he’d thoroughly humiliated the elders through cheeky comebacks and downright threats because Gakuganji made a remark about your way of dress off-duty.

When he called off classes for the day to host a hot dog eating contest, just because you were having a hard time with your sister getting engaged---fresh out of high school.

When he literally saved your life on that mission.

But what sealed the deal was this adorably clueless look on his face, set so vividly apart from his usual smirks and sneers, when he got daifuku on his cheek.

You were in love. And in it bad.

At first, you knew you were alone in your convictions. Satoru hadn’t ever prioritized love and you didn’t think you’d convince him otherwise. You told yourself it was fine, that you’d date for a few months, maybe a year and then move on for the better.

But you don’t move on from the strongest.

You couldn’t taste anything else once you’d had him. Nothing else held appeal.

You kept telling yourself it was fine. You were still young, you still had time to date without a future. But the smell of his aftershave, the way his hair curled behind his ear, his distaste for alcohol. It all drew you in, too deeply, and you wanted it too badly.

Satoru would stiffen when you brought up the future.

He was happy to make plans for Friday date night, but anything about revisiting the clan or moving in or god forbid, marriage had him giving non-answers and changing the subject at the first opportunity.

It was a stabbing pain, seeing the look on his face, and a few times after a particularly sobering conversation you’d almost considered ending it. But he was so sweet. By all other accounts he was a wonderful boyfriend. Chivalrous---opening the door for you, insisting on paying the bill, unfolding the napkin at restaurants to cover your lap. He genuinely listened. And yes, he had a slight habit of being a little too friendly with no doubt interested women, but he’d always own up and do better when you called him out. And you just clicked. So effortlessly, so seamlessly. So, you told yourself it was fine.

You had your whole life ahead of you at twenty-three. And you knew, any third party would tell you that you were being unreasonable. But you loved him. You were sure about him. Surer than you were about most things. Maybe anything. You used to be so cynical about marriage. You didn’t buy anything about soulmates or true love or the one. But Satoru was it for you. You just knew.

But the more you wanted him, the more anxious you were to hold on, to not lose him. You found yourself asking, “Are you going to break up with me?” As a joke from the outside but in truth a deep fear, seeking opposition or confirmation, you didn’t know.

And Satoru would always respond easily, with that trademark suaveness, “Not planning on it.”

You asked more and more often, and whether or not Satoru noticed, more and more anxiously.

And each “I don’t see that happening,” each “No” followed by a soft kiss sold it to you more. You stopped telling yourself it was fine. You’d be together forever. You were sure of it.

Things weren’t perfect. You two had your rough patches and fair share of fights. But you wanted each other enough to make it through anything. If the you from a few years ago could hear yourself, this madness probably would have been put to an end. But you loved him. You loved him in that cliché, film way that looks manufactured in hindsight. But it felt so raw, so pure, so real. You’d be together forever.

Soon, despite yourself, you began hinting. Rings. Nice houses. And even, though you were now appalled at the memory, babies. Not to be had then, of course, just for the far-off future. You could be patient if commitment was promised.

And for whatever reason, Satoru played along. He started engaging in talks about the future, even though he used to say he didn’t want to make these promises, didn’t want to plan so far. You had reminded yourself of what he used to say, that look on his face when you brought up plans. But for some reason hidden to him and you, he bought into it too. He started fantasizing with you. Of course, to you it didn’t feel like fantasizing. But he seemed to want it, almost as badly. You thought his face lit up picturing your lives together in the next few years. You thought he smiled a little wider, laughed a little louder.

He wants this too. You told yourself. We’ll be together forever. You said.

You told this to yourself like a mantra, and soon it became indisputable truth.

✧

“Hey,” you started, leaning on Satoru’s shoulder. You snuggled closer to him on the couch and pulled the blanket over your shoulder. “Does it ever bother you that I ask about the future?” You said.

Satoru stiffened, and your heart dropped.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“You know, like do you not like talking about plans long-term?”

You were fishing for an easy answer, some artificial reassurance, a “No, I like it fine.”

But he paused. You couldn’t breathe.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to make promises.”

“Oh,” was all you could say. It sounded like you had let out a breath. A small cough.

“I mean, it’s kind of fun to fantasize,” he said.

You hadn’t realized how much the word “fantasize” bothered you. How seriously you took your “plans”.

“But I mean, I can’t promise what will happen in a few years,” Gojo continued.

You felt dizzy. “You don’t see us together in a few years?” You asked. It sounded like a whimper and you hated yourself for it.

“I just mean I don’t know what my life looks like in a few years.”

“Oh,” you said again.

There was silence. You’d stopped resting on his shoulder and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You pulled the blanket off and fidgeted, eyes glued to your lap.

“…where do you see this going?” You finally asked. Quietly.

He let out a breath. “Look, I’m going to be honest, I’m twenty-four, I can’t make any commitments right now.”

“Oh.”

You felt oddly calm. “Um, thanks for being honest with me,” (finally, you thought).

“Sure,” Gojo said.

“So we have an expiration date, huh?” You asked.

Gojo frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this is going to end at some point.”

“I mean, I’m not making a decision right now about the future,” Gojo said, you thought he shrugged. “I still want to be with you now,”

But he didn’t understand. That was the point. You’d decided on forever without a second thought, and he just let you. But sooner or later, when he decided it was time to experience life without you, he’d leave you behind. You didn’t want now if you couldn’t have the future.

You didn’t meet his eye. “Gojo, I think we should end things.”

It’s funny how the things you love the most can shatter in an instant.

✧ Masterlist ✧

[grapejuicestyless]

What A Waste

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: You and Harry swore that you would one day marry each other if you were to grow up and not already have a lover. Yet, when the time comes and the two of you are wed, Harry cannot let himself enjoy it.

ANGST

I’m standing at the alter, hands clasped together and eyes looking towards the door at the end of the aisle. Yet my hands do not shake, and my cheeks dk not ache with the pain only a genuine smile can cause. My heart does not pound out of my chest because I am not in love. The girl coming down the aisle is nothing more but a pawn in the grand scheme of things.

Maybe once, I would’ve held those feelings towards her, but our blood has since ran cold. Any fond memories tainted by our final goodbye.

She wasn’t very interesting to look at. Maybe, at least if my heart couldn’t love her, I could have something nice to look at. Something delicate, pretty. But her lips were pouty and her eyes held clouds over them. There was nothing attractive about the solemn face that hid her beauty.

When her hands hold mine, and her face is just inches from my own, I find it within myself to recite the vows I’d written for her. Carefully constructed to sound like a true loving husband, but with no true emotion that not even she, in her most oblivious state would ever have accounted for.

When she read hers, I saw her hands shaking. Her lip trembling and the furrow in her brow as she stumbled on her words. How embarrassing, how nervous she was. Acting like it was all real. Finding a way to make theater into reality.

How softly, she told me she would. Love me forever, take care of me and support me from the sidelines. Even softer, she mumbled about how even when she was riddled with arthritis, sick and tired, she would still twirl my hair the way I lived when we were children. When I kissed her, I felt nothing. When I pulled away, her smile could have fooled me. How genuinely happy she looked. But I remember the way she left me, and I remember how it could never truly be real. And I remember why I hate her, how I could never love her. Not even a little bit, not even at all.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“H?” She calls me by the nickname she gave to me when we were younger. I don’t realize that even now, twenty years later her mind had still clung to it as if it would be any importance to her anymore.

“Don’t call me that.” I’m bitter, I hate the way it sounds so sweet on her tongue. I hate the way her smile falls when I reprimand her, and most of all I hate the way I’m forever bound to her. With all the money in the world, nothing could separate us, no matter how hard I tried.

She rubs her arms, wearing her fluffy pink pajama pants and a shirt thats reads, “We think Harry had the X-Factor” so cracked, it almost doesn’t even read correctly anymore. The words die on her tongue, look at what I found? I see her enthusiasm melt away. When her eyes drift to the unmade bed and her feet start to move, I speak again.

“No.” Her confused face infuriates me. How could she not understand the justification of my cruelty.

“Your room is down the hall.” The one with the squeaky mattress and dusty floorboards. The one with photos of my old house, with the old garden and the old cats. It’s empty and the heat doesn’t work very well. But the cold from her heart wouldn’t mind it, truly.

I hate how her hair lingers on every surface. I hate how her perfume wafts into the bathroom while I shower. And now, more than all, I hate how she looks at me with rounded eyes glossed over almost too innocently.

But she is not an idiot. We both know it. Silence speaks volumes, I know she pieces together the puzzle as she walks away. The shirt hanging loosely off of her shoulder and her face hidden from my view. She never looks back. She doesn’t say goodnight.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Do you think we’d be soulmates in another universe?” I ask, tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. The fresh England summer air hot and humid. I say it with dirt on my skin, grass stuck to my knees. I pull at the ribbons in her hair and watch how she smiles. We were only children then. Fourteen and convinced we were all grown up.

“Why not in this one?” She asked honestly, looking at me with so much truth in her eyes, I believed her. And the way her hand fit into mine, I could feel my heart pounding. And I knew then, she was the one for me. The way my body reacted, how quickly my heart pounded so violently, I thought it might burst from my chest. Too young to be kissing and too old to not think about it, we stare at each other in the wet grass in the backyard and wait for the final sunset to disappear into the horizon, my eyes looking into hers and her hand in my hair.

For a long while, I believed what she did. We were soulmates, we were bound together. Always by my side, always encouraging me. She makes shirts for my family while I start my career. She helps me rehearse my songs and her voice makes me believe that it should be her on stage, not me.

When the band is formed, and One Directions fate is sealed into greatness, I spend the last summer of normalcy singing in the fields and holding her hand like real good friends would. Her hand in my hair again, twirling it between her finger and her thumb. I want to kiss her, but the smile on her face makes me too nervous to. I think she has the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. I think she is the prettiest girl I’ll ever see.

“When we are twenty eight and not married yet, will you marry me?” She asks me in the last week of that August. It confuses me, it’s such a random age. It’s so young. But the idea of getting to be with her forever makes my cheeks flush.

“Why twenty eight? Why not forty?” She laughs, says something on how I’ll find it silly. For a girl with as much potential as her to wish for something so silly.

“I want to have a warm house with a soft bed. A dog and two cats and children. I want two boys and a girl. I want a white fence to keep them in from the street and little family trips where we can all laugh and be happy. And with all of that, I hope I am a writer still. I hope I have critically acclaimed novels and a Nobel Peace Prize.” And I don’t think her dreams are stupid. And even though her dreams are so hard to make real, the way she dreams about it out loud makes me believe it will happen to her.

When we leave the grassy field that night, I have no idea it will be the last I’ll see of her for a while. All I know is in the morning my mother has a solemn look on her face and a letter in her hand. When she sits me down to read it, all I hear beyond the violent ringing is my mother telling me she is gone. She left, only leaving behind her empty promises and a tainted memory of what I once believed to be something so pure and precious.

I don’t see the letter. Maybe if I had, I would have known it was in her father’s handwriting. And my dear Y/n hadn’t left me because the beating of her heart lost its rhythm in me, but because she was forced away into a house that would never be her home.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“God, you are a self-righteous prick.” She huffs, quickly untying the apron from her waist, letting the blue and yellow fabric fold over her hips and be discarded on the shiny tile floors. Not yet scuffed from the lack of dancing. Never truly loved. But I wouldn’t know what the difference was. I stopped learning how to love when love walked out on me.

“And you must be a victim!” She sticks out her tongue and groans, rolling her eyes and walking down the hall. The lights are dim, candles burning. It’s her own touch. She claimed she hated the big lights. The smaller ones made it much more homely. I didn’t care enough to fight her then, but as I stumble around I wish I had.

“I gave you everything! I gave you a roof to live under. All the money on the goddamn earth and all the glory! And yet you are ungrateful!” I spit at her with venom I don’t even know I possess.

“Oh my god, you don’t even know me!” She turns, and her eyes are crazy, hair wild. “My own husband doesn’t even know me!” She says it like it hurts her.

“Don’t call me that.” I tell her firmly. I try not to look at the rock on her finger, how it taunts me.

“What does it embarrass you? I hope it does. I hope all of your friends tease and taunt you for marrying the girl you never wanted, but had to have!” She laughs then, stepping closer to me, her finger in my chest.

“I will not let a loveless marriage strip me of my heart and my soul. You can hate me, but you should know better than to think you would have any power to strip me of my humanity.” She said it with such power, her voice shook with the same fierceness she felt in her bones. And yet, her anger didn’t lead me astray. For the first time in our loveless marriage, I felt a twinge of guilt for the innocent girl who I let bleed so gruesomely on the floor of our own home.

“Believe it or not, I am not the cruel witch you make me out to be. I am a woman, the same woman who loved you all those years ago. I still dream of having children and cats and a dog. A damn white picket fence! But, what a waste! Our agreement! If it could have at least given me that, or god forbid it had brought us together! I am still the same woman who loved you, and it is clear to me you are not the same man. You are bitter and I pity you because you must be so unhappy to feel the need to be that way.”

“And what else? Do you still dream of a medal in your honor for your writing? Or has that woman finally grown up to smell the roses and see that the world isn’t always built just for her.” I should’ve backed down, the moment she showed vulnerability, but for some reason I could not shut my mouth. I needed the last word.

“I outgrew those dreams the second I married you.” If my heart wasn’t shattered completely then, it had been now. And why? Over some words a girl I claimed to hate had to share?

“What a shame too. A book full of stories of us destined to the fire on our wedding night. And even if I were to write again, who would read about how you broke my heart? And how I continue to let you stomp it out until there is nothing but the dust that remains.” When she leaves, her dress sways behind her. She’s wearing my sweatshirt and she has the same white ribbons in her hair she had all those years ago. She never really did lie to me, did she.

She was only a girl. Ribbons tied into her hair and a white dress with lace so frilly, it resembled her wedding dress. A dress I never appreciated. I wondered if I looked into the old box of photos of the day we were destined for failure, if I would find any photos of her in all her innocence. Or, if that same smile she greeted me with before she knew me would be tainted with the same hate I bred inside of her through my own negligence.

I regret every feeling I’d ever felt towards her. How I called her plain, uninteresting, unlikable. The realization of this guilt hits so hard, it is undeniable. I feel this way because I have succeeded. I have crushed the heart of a girl who continued to love me through my greed. And I know I have succeeded through the look in her eyes and the frown lines by her lips. The lines that once represented deep smiles gone in an instant.

She only solidifies what I know when I see her suitcase by the door. Practically empty, nothing in this house is truly hers. She has gone from one loveless house to another, not yet finding her home. Not yet living her dream.

“You don’t need to divorce me, but I can’t stay. Not now. Not when I still love you. I can’t come back until every piece of you is gone. Maybe then, your insults won’t hurt so much, and we could get along.” She smiles softly, but it’s so fake it hurts my heart.

I don’t stop her, but I wish I had. This house isn’t a home without her. If I could change it, I would. I still loved her, and thats what makes it all sting so much more. The tormenting, the pain and the tears. All a result of two soulmates bound to be together, yet one of them refused to let it happen.

I hope she’ll come back soon. Sooner than last time. And I hope her heart still yearns for me. I’ll propose to her for real this time, not just under circumstance. And when she walks down the aisle, I’ll shake just as badly as she did the first time. And we can laugh about our experience in our first try at rekindling our flame, and we can finally have a house with a fence and two boys and a girl, a dog and two cats. And she can write about how wonderful her life is and win every award there is to win. And I will stand beside her like a good husband because I love her.

I will spend each hour she is gone wishing for her to come back. For the ache to ease itself. And what a waste. If only I could write a good song about it without ranting and going off into small tangents. If only I could’ve done it right. If only it could have brought us together.

[sombredancer]

Li Lun, a villain I feel for (Pt. 1/4)

Li Lun was the only character of FoF who stole my heart. From the very beginning it was obvious that Li Lun supposed to be a scapegoat of the narrative. The final plot twist was supposed to be a cherry on the top of the final battle, so GJM needed to bring LL there no matter what. LL's fate is in his very name: 离仑 (lí lún). The character 离 means “to be separated”, “to stay apart”; “to keep distance”; “to be alone”, “to break up”, “to become in opposition”; “to turn away” and also “to break into pairs”.  The character 仑 is used only in the name of the mountain Kunlun (昆仑), which is, as we know, a cradle of demons and a gate to the Great Wilderness. All of these meanings match Li Lun perfectly: he is deeply tied to his demonic homeland, yet is separated from the man who used to be his soulmate and opposites him now in loneliness.

Li Lun also was the only character whose story was shown to us not  as a strange flashback after the main events happened (as it was with any other story-within-a-story in this drama) but was fed to us with small portions (as it should actually have been worked out for each of side stories). It was, firstly, the main reason I was emotionally involved in Li Lun’s story – I genuinely tried to guess what happened between LL and the main hero in the past, it caught my attention. And secondly – reshuffling the pieces of LL’s backstory and spreading them across the narrative were the only ways to conjure the illusion that LL’s part of the plot works at all.

"Zhao Yuanzhou, do you still remember your old friend? Whom of your new friends should I kill first?"

When we see Li Lun for the first time in ep 3, he seems like a real villain of the story: he is in chains, looks insanely hot and hotly insane. We find out very quickly that he is absolutely obsessed with his former friend, the main hero, and wants to take revenge on him so badly as if the main hero killed the whole LL’s family and ate LL’s cutie puppy for breakfast. In the first part of the story he looks really intimidating: it is scary when your enemy could literary be anyone around you because Li Lun can possess any body. (And later we find out that there is absolutely no villain in this story, because LL is a Byronic hero and Big Bad in Mask is just a piece of furniture, because no one of the mains remembers of him and gives a single flying heck about him for the most of the story.)

But to look through their story soberly, let me recap it for you in the chronological order.

Once upon a time, something like 30 000+ years ago, two demons were born in Great Wilderness, a sophora tree spirit and a white ape spirit. They were equals in their powers, were friends for many millennias and finally became Great Demons. Hundreds of years ago they anonymously saved the Great Wilderness from destruction and swore to protect their homeland at any cost.

You all know what a hairpin means in Chinese dramas , don't you? 🌚

LL works his magic to make ZYZ happy. Although they had different mindsets, they genuinely care for each other: the main hero (ZYZ) tried to show his rigid wooden friend things he never even thought about, and LL, in return, tried to learn from ZYZ and to make him happy, too.

LL wanted to silent a kid with magic, but ZYZ taught him that no magic needed to chase someone's megrim away. The kid's as well as LL's. ZYZ loved humans and their world and LL was irritated by them and cautious about them, so ZYZ was teaching him how to treat humans right.

They exchanged gifts, a rattle drum and an umbrella. And it was so important for both LL and ZYZ that each turned mate’s gift into a spiritual weapon.

But they exchanged even more valuable gifts, too: ZYZ gifted LL his unique magic ability – Truth Eye, the ability to see the true essence of everything. Not having it anymore, he could rely now only on his heart to see LL’s heart, so giving it away was the brightest expression of his trust and love for LL. And LL gifted him a root of sophora  – a part of his true body, which was… pretty much the same expression of love and trust.

ZYZ gifts LL his Truth Eye. But one day, 8 years ago, when they both were on a date in the mortal world, they accidently found a dungeon where their fellow demons were kept captive and tortured by humans. Li Lun, who swore to protect his homeland and its habitants and was prejudiced against humans, went to berserk rage and killed not only those who tortured demons, but also everyone in a building where this dungeon was located.

He also set free all the demons in the dungeon, included Ao Ying, the demoness who can change her appearance and will serve him later.

Trying to stop LL from killing even more people, ZYZ accidently mortally wounded LL with the power of Everburning Wood he just got. It was unintentional but fatal anyway.

For his crimes LL was immediately caught and sealed in the place of his birth (a dark and lifeless cave). Although the seal could stop him from dying, it took his freedom away for eternity, which was very painful for a creature who cultivated really hard to get ability to move (he is a tree, after all). ZYZ was somewhat upset with it. OK, being upset because of your former friend’s loss of freedom is a good thing, but what happened between the sealing of LL and the current events of the drama?

So, you were friends for literally millenias, you were very close, maybe in BL way, so close, that each of you literally gave a part of his body to other. One of you flew into a rage (fairly speaking, he had a reason to be enraged) and killed people in the heat of passion. And you accidently killed him trying to stop him. Is he a criminal? Yes, obviously. Should you be surprised by your mate’s behavior and not think of it as of something typical for him? Yes, otherwise why were you still friends for so many thousands of years? Would you try to persuade him or to bring him back into his sanity? Yeah, I think. Would you feel guilt because of unintentional killing him off? Yes, of course. But ZYZ didn’t do and feel any of that.

OK, maybe he is too righteous and any unjustified deed put his relationship with a sinner to its and. Oh, no? He eagerly forgives a spy who works for Big Bad in Mask, he forgives a man who hurt him badly and intentionally sent him into diabolic rage which could lead to numerous victims. He even understands and is nice to other demons who kill people. (And, as I remember, in ep 1 ZYZ killed by himself one of demon hunter’s bureau warriors in order to intimidate ZYC. I watched it only once, so I’m not sure if I didn’t notice some trick there, but still). He only despises LL. Also, he didn’t give a flying heck about who tortured all these demons and why (spoiler: it was Big Bad in Mask, and everything would be much easier, if ZYZ cared about it). And later, he regrets that he unintentionally killed his friend and a family of his current boyfriend, but he never regretted he killed Li Lun.

In the beginning of the drama ZYZ obviously despises him and calls him "a scumbag who has to stay in shadows", although LL has to stay in shadows partly because of a mortal wound caused by ZYZ, and can't be counted as scumbag because all the wrongs he did were caused by desire to protect people of his own kind and not because he liked human sufferings or such evil stuff. LL obviously tries to speak to ZYZ and to find out what happened between them (and honestly, I still want to get this answer, too), and ZYZ, for reason unknown, has absolutely no desire to talk about their problems with LL.

It all feels strange. And not fair to LL. Here is Part 2 Here is Part 3 Here is Part 4