#my gender is a thought experiment

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[cattlesus]

“are you a man or a woman?” is schrödinger’s cat alive or dead? compose yourself

[aliosne]

Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell

[iliothermia]

My new year's resolution for 2024 is to become more comfortable advocating for myself and talking about my experiences as a Jew and the symbolism in my work. I want to be able to talk about how much certain themes mean to me and bring me joy, personal experiences with antisemitism and villainization that end up fueling some of my work, and just stop minimizing such an important part of my identity. My experiences with transness and life as a Greek Jew are hand in hand in my work and I think I need to be more educational about things so others can understand another layer of it..

[troutpopulation]

I wish talking about detransition in any positive way wasn't completely co-opted by terfs and detrans kinks with the most violent, humiliating and degrading fantasies imaginable.

Because there is something profoundly beautiful and almost erotic in watching your own body change into something completely unfamiliar and uncanny, and intensely unexpected. The permanent changes of HRT being treasured souvenirs of a past life and an intrinsic part of you.

Feeling your hair texture change under your own fingertips. Your body changes once, twice, three times, you lose count but it's always uncharted territory. Just an alien shape to your own hips forming contours you don't recognize and will spend your next lifetime, one of many, exploring.

[evelynpr]

Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.

I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.

I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.

Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.

Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"

But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.

Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.

Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?

Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?

"What happened...to us?"

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[inspiredrawaw]

A bit of a self-portrait plus coming to terms with a my identity :]

figured out I’m aroace a few months ago!! But the biggest thing is figuring out I’m non binary! I’ve always felt like the binary genders were not the correct descriptors for who I am and it always made my day when customers at my old job used they/them or he/him pronouns for me! So I still use the name Allison but with they/he/she pronouns!

[trannytink]

sometimes an issue isn’t transandrophobia or transmisogyny, it’s just transphobia.

[addicted-to-12th-intro]

gender is soup

i am fork

[ender1821]

session was fine (/lh) highlights for me were gem's power being one of the coolest feeding the "associated with the watchers" allegations and her almost succesful escape of a practically impossible trap (yes im gonna ignore pearl's comment about gem's eye, i want to smash pearl with a hammer after that). and also gem is so obsessed with pearl it’s maddening, sadly pearl is the most oblivious player on the server 💔

so now lets focus instead on the potential of superhero!gem whose body practically dies when she projects her soul and superhero!pearl who excessively worries and protects her in that state while fearing one day gem won't come back to her body :D

we got a session with relatively normal gempearl moments!!! (well. as normal as they can be. anyway)

glad that watcher lore enjoyers are getting fed with watcher-leaning Gem and listener Martyn, i dont go here often but god thats some good material

the wild card this session is honestly very fun!!! mostly banger episodes, i would’ve taken a whole season of just this gimmick ngl but i also see why it’s only for a single session (currently watching Martyn’s ep and god it’s amazing if you ever were/currently are a bnha fan), also Gem trying to get joint custody of the zombies is. peak. gemrot enjoyers get your food

THE PEARL COMMENT…girl…she’s trying so hard to justify failing that trivia bot question it’s just funny. sorry to all the fic writers who have to find a way to justify Pearl not noticing/remembering the eye of ender situation. somehow simultaneously down bad and horrible at remembering what Gem’s done

like i said, the superhero AU stocks are skyrocketing… i dont do superhero AUs that much but if i were to spitball one rn it would be interesting to explore both superheroes Gem and Pearl, who aren’t on the same team/agency but know of each other and have this ongoing rivalry, where their powers are both useful in intel gathering (Gem by projecting and Pearl by flying nearby and listening in on conversations, though Gem’s probably better at it), but they’re also fighting villains on the field, and Pearl’s ability gives her an advantage in combat, while Gem makes up for it with her on duelling expertise

and yeah. maybe sometimes Pearl would fly by and spot Gem using her powers by herself. and maybe Pearl would hover around the area just to make sure nothing happens to her while she’s out of it… she doesn’t really know how Gem’s powers work in its entirety, but better safe than sorry, right?

(one time Gem finds out that Pearl is watching over her body while she’s astral projecting, and she decides to scare the ever living hell out of Pearl by suddenly jumping back into her body with no warning— Pearl nearly falls off a building with how much of a spook that gave her and Gem has never let that go since)

[uncanny-tranny]

At this point, gender nonconformity is about what the person says their experience is.

If a woman with a beard or a man with lipstick and a mustache says they're gender nonconforming, then they are! If a woman with short hair or a man with long hair says they aren't, they aren't! And that's not even getting into the awesome nonbinary, abinary, genderqueer, intersex, and general genderfuckery that may both be and not be conforming.

So much of what is even considered gender conforming or gender nonconforming is based on a world of exclusion. When we start defining one's conformity with whether they fit into white cishetero perisex standards or not, we play into the idea that there's only a very narrow window of what is considered worthy of time and thought.

[abyssalzones]

I'm probably nonbinary but I have college so idrc about that rn

[saint-bia]

it actually disgusts me how quickly my classmates switched up on me.

i used to dress 2000s emo and use he/him pronouns.

now i’m the closest to “normal” i’ve ever been- just presenting fem again.

i was forced back into the closet.

my battle with gender identity is now a monster that i fear i’ll never reconnect with because of how it makes others feel about me.

my classmates treat me so much better now because i fit their definition of pretty.

but already felt pretty the way i was before.

and now i’m mixed up with all the wrong people and basically everything is a mess because i wanted to fit in.

[sucresanguine]

not to be throwing stones but the way people talk about having a "female" childhood as a default good thing in queer spaces is bonkers. Like the amount of abuse I and many others experienced that was directly tied to that shouldn't have to be minimized as some kind of learning experience. I don't actually think suffering in one way makes you a better person for it. I'm not out here saying No One Ever Had A Happy Girlhood but for many people that shit was traumatizing and doesn't need to be put on a pretty little pedestal nor held up as something that made you necessarily more empathetic/feminist/radicalized because imo that really does carry the connotation that all those things were potentially good for you. Being someone who went through that didn't distinctly or directly make me a better feminist or ally, it made me a very very hurt person.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

BREAKS DOWN THE FUCKING DOOR

Transmasc Alastor and transfemme Vox. Okay that's it.