#my fucking ehlers danlos bitch

[neonhellscape]

feeling comfortable drawing this fucking freak now. get ghim

[rosesandthorns44]

My toxic trait is only doing things that are *bad* for me when no one else is looking.

Like, if no one sees it, it didn't count, and I'm perfectly fine. No problems to be seen here, folks.

Mental illness? We don't know her.

[geeses]

I will never forget that one time I was explaining how my joints dislocate frequently, and I described (in detail) the very painful process of relocating a rib by myself. my straight & able-bodied man friend looked me in the eyes and said "that's hardcore as fuck"

thank you. I agree.

[doodlingwitch]

bitches with ehlers danlos syndrome after eating kettle chips

[wholegrainbitch]

being in the uk and having undiagnosed chronic illnesses with ✨️mystery symptoms✨️ that could be signs of life-threatening conditions if untreated is really just a constant cycle of

>feel like you might be dying

>use the 111 symptom checker

>ignore whatever it says

[campirebitesarchive]

I’m in so much pain I like can’t pick my feet up when I walk I can barely walk or stand today

[haloburns]

i hate not being able to sleep comfortably anymore

i miss sleeping with one knee up to my chin and the other completely hyperextended from the hip down, it was COMFY DAMMIT

[wounddread]

why did your former local ER team know you by name? o_ô

LMAO hi there is a lot wrong with me 🖤 i'm constantly in and out of hospitals bc of medical emergencies in a 2 week period between april and may alone i was in the er like 8 times

[genderqueerdykes]

wild as fuck to think of myself as a covid survivor. like literally, and that it means something huge. like that's not small beans, i didn't survive a light bout of seasonal allergies or a mild cold. i'm immunocompromised, bitch. i have hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome. and now my lungs are permanently fucked up. but nobody cares. nobody gives a shit about covid anymore. man fuck ableism, fuck capitalism, fuck covid and fuck america.

[bizlybebo]

VIXENNNNNN!!! Before I return to the dishwasher I have a question. What are your PD boys + Ashe headcanons. Appearances? Idiosyncrasies? Anything? Please 🙏

HEHEHEHEHEHE HIIIII IT’S 3:30 AM HERE (4AM BY THE TIME IVE TYPED THIS ALL OUT) BUT AAAAA I CANT NOT ANSWER THISS !!!!

okok here’s some off the top of my head:

-Dakota’s got a lisp + a bit of a hard time speaking overall. However, it also means he places a lot of importance on what people have to say since those willing to listen to him even if he takes a second are ones he wants to hear from the most, if that makes sense

-Ashe is naturally blonde. She’s got the exact same hair color as Mark, but she bleaches it. She also has green eyes like her dad, but she inherited her mother’s complexion and facial features (also her mom was hispanic. trust i’m bizlybebo).

-Vyncent’s not a huge fan of haircuts on Prime (loud environment + the icky thing where all the hairs get caught on your shirt), so for most of season 1, Tide took care of his hair. Without Tide to really take care of it during season 2, it grew out significantly. William and Dakota take turns trying to braid it now.

-Since Fauna’s pretty cloudy (as far as I remember), Vyncent’s not used to a lot of direct sunlight. He goes to the beach once on Prime and gets sooo sunburnt cause he Doesn’t Get the concept of sunscreen entirely.

-Dakota’s the shortest. This one’s literally canon but I personally like to think that PD in order from tallest to shortest is: Vyncent, Ashe, William, then Dakota. Will’s still like a good head or so taller than Dakota

-Vyncent is scared of multiple household appliances. He has beef with ceiling fans and toasters especially.

-William gets the tetris effect but for like solving mysteries. Whenever he’s really sleepy he starts rattling off random criteria or a synopsis of his general surroundings/anything he notices under his breath.

-Ashe, oddly enough, is the member of PD who goes the most all out for Christmas/holiday season. She loves decorating and making cookies and everything, since it’s her first opportunity to do it with friends and family again in a long time.

-It feels like everyone on here is saying this which makes me so happy cause it’s so real but: Southern William. ouugigohiifih it’s so real to me.

and then some rapid fire ones:

-William has ehlers-danlos. trust

-Dakota Cole freckles. you agree

-Scenemo Ashe and emo William. You agree

-Dakota is terrified of spiders (scooby doo jumps into Ashe’s arms), Ashe is the kind of person to take the spider outside, William just kinda freezes and decides it’s the spiders house now, and Vyncent probably fucking eats spiders

-William does specific makeup to make himself look more alive/masculine (tboy William real. trust)

-William and Ashe are both the kind of person to have one (1) hoodie they constantly wear and basically nothing else.

-Ashe makes kandi and made PD matching bracelets during s1 (smiles. don’t think about Dakota accidentally breaking it during s2 and how bad he’d feel)

-Vyncent collects jewelry (elf brain likes shiny shit or something) but doesn’t wear it often. He just. Keeps it on him and pulls it out to look at it sometimes all proud of it

-Dakota “accidentally” leaves his flannels in Ashe’s dorm all the time when he visits her so he has an excuse to come back. Ashe gives him one back and suddenly two more appear

-Williams actually very beautiful/handsome he literally just gets no bitches because he’s Like That.

[virtuallyinsane]

Hi all.

Decided to share lil bit of my story. Dedicated to those who suffer chronic illness. You are NOT alone. It's fucked up everywhere in the world. There is many of us and our stories are important.

I started my "let's really find out what the fuck is wrong with me" journey a long ago after my body slowly refused to work as it should. There was a lot that went on in my life at that point, but let's focus on the physical health. I suffered a collapse and a burn out.

During the past few years, I was misdiagnosed several times, I was given wrong medication because of it that made things worse to this day.

I suffered a lot of trauma by people around me saying I am just lazy and sensitive and by literal doctors saying the same thing, making me seem like a typical archetype of hysterical woman. They told me to just have kids, it will be better... They told me let them lock me up to psych clinic to help me... they tortured my mind and my body for a long time while whatever was wrong with me, just kept getting worse and my body was hardly able to function in day to day life anymore.

Until recently. I got help from an organization focusing on these kind of situations and after some more doctors appointments, I was told I have Ehlers Danlos syndrom with a few other diagnosis that my body developed because of that. I have one of its hypermobile forms that fuck up joints, connective tissue in my body, including some internal organs that don't function properly anymore and cause more pain and discomfort.

Well, at least I know what's wrong and I can adjust. Somehow tho, the doctors still refuse to help more than the bare minimum and give me advice such as "don't do sports" while me considering having a wheelchair because I can't walk much anymore, bitch what?!

Anyways, there's a long journey ahead of me still. I need to go to the private medical sector, because even tho I have an insurance, there's no real help in the system. Life is lifing.

To all of you that made it here, thank you for reading and remember if you suffer, you are not alone, please continue fighting because you are worth it.

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Hi!

I do not answer donation asks and do not reblog most donation posts. For my mental health. Seriously.

Nicholases: Anthony Mikey

Nicks: ant; glow

Gender: wobbly (transmasc enby)

Pronouns: ey/vey/zey/they/he any just get silly

Orient.: aro/ace

Status: queerplatonic whore WITH THE BEST QP GF IN THE WORLD

Age: minor ig

Pronouns Page

Languages: English (native), Spanish (decent), Romanian (bad)

Brain Stuff: OCD, ADHD, autism, psychosis, PTSD, bipolar disorder

Physical Stuff: hyper-mobile Ehlers Danlos Spectrum Disorder; postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome; migraines

DMs?: I’m awkward and may not answer at all. If I don’t say anything after like, two days just assume I either forgot or was just uncomfortable but didn’t want to say anything. Feel free to try again if u want with something else I might reply then. I’m an unpredictable feral rat about DMs sometimes. Idk. Don’t assume I hate you.

Tone tags?: yes

Asks: anything nonsexual and not asking me for money I will not respond to those

Flirting/compliments?: non romantic and nonsexual

Swearing: I swear so much I don’t always register the use of the word fuck and my phone has autocorrected ‘duck’ to ‘fuck’ before.

Previously pinned post: horses

My overly active ao3: ant_is_in_an_anthill

My neglected art blog: @ants-awesome-art-blog (also present here tagged as ‘ant art go brr’)

My danger days fic specifically: endangered gays fic (yes! That’s me!! I’m that guy!! Yippee!!)

Side blogs:

@cherri-cola-soda & @broken-acid-in-the-morning-light & @moth-moon-the-whore & @dead-spider-in-the-sun & @crazy-yellow-bitch (kjrp)

Things I talk about pretty consistently:

- danger days

- Myself

- My danger days fic

Blog tags and more abt me under the cut

Things I talk about sporadically:

- Dracula

- The Historian

- The end Cretaceous Extinction Event

- Star Wars

- TMA & TMAGP

- Languages

- Bears in trees

- Other assorted music artists

- My intense craving for a Mikey Way 2012 fender bass guitar

Tags (I’m still sorting my blog so it’s sporadic and more will be added)

Chaoticbuggybitchboy - literally anything I said words on

Some blogs I interact with semi regularly have their urls tagged

Malevolent ant - me thinking about malevolent whenever I remember to listen to it (sunny I’m so sorry)

Complaining - me. Complaining. About anything and everything

I have a couple levels of vent tags there’s mild vent and cw vent

Infodumping in the tags again - what it sounds like

Ant activated - things relating to world events and general activism stuff

Making up words - for when I’m making up words again

Me when he /p - me posting about a boy I like. I’m sorry. Not stopping.

Ayudame - when I need help but in Spanish

Wtnv rambles - welcome to Nightvale, where I ramble.

Ant the space cadet - Star Wars talk

Showing and telling :] - yeah

My posts that hit it off - ones that took off in some way

My hit bit posts - the two(!!!!) posts bears in trees official reblogged

Marigold corpse fic - a different thing I wrote, also up on ao3 :]

Ant makes polls - get this I make polls

Danger days tags:

Danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys - umbrella tag for all danger days content (yes I chose the longest possible tag)

Endangered gays fic - my massive fic series and anything at all related to it (including when I ramble in the tags so remember to check there if ur interested)

Danger days - general danger days; not associated with my fic

Danger days art - art

Ddttlotfk - album stuff talking about the songs rather than the lore

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!

[flamewillowspn]

Dislocated shoulder? Just pop it back in.

Cracked my hips like a fucking glow stick? 100% don't recommend.

Go to A&E? Nah? but I fixed it!

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a bitch

[groovy-rat-man]

Anyone here have any tips on how to exercise with ehlers-danlos syndrome in a way that's DEFINITELY not gonna fuck my body up forever? A lot of the advice out there is stuff like ""know your limits😊"" and bitch I don't even know how to know them that is NOT gonna help.

[mrsfezziwig]

Confessions of a K-pop Fanfic Reader (part one)

So you are right there, you've heard the first few chords, vocals, rap and beat of a song and after capturing it with Shazam, you read the name of the song except... you can't.... because it's in Hangul; that's K-pop right? And disbelief with disappointment burrows and worms into your psyche. You only listen to English language music as there's no point in hearing something you don't understand, if you wanted something that had lyrics you didn't understand you'd listen to Gregorian chant songs. Still, you feel the need to find the rest of the track but something inside you lurches because K-pop is innocent, childish, nothing but ridiculous Crayon Pop bright colours and T-ARA's "bo-peep, bo-peep, bo-peep, bo..." or the unexpectedly self aware and satirical Gangnam Style (although you haven't necessarily read the translated lyrics yet).

You can't possibly be considering taking the 'genre' seriously? But, those infectious few English lines are stuck in your damn brain and you can't stand the not knowing anymore, so you sneak away to the toilet or claim to be doing some extra work so your discomfort at the possibility of someone seeing and mocking you for it is minimised as much as you can. Hell, you watch porn more openly than this but you still open the Shazam you made a few days or weeks before, knowing you are one click or finger tap away from being completely ridiculed by your friends or family or both for being even willing to consider taking actual time out of your life for K-pop.... But with a deep breath you plunge in, probably with a Stray Kids, BTS or Ateez song and suddenly you are breathless because although you don't understand everything being said, you are completely blown away at the MV quality, which is better than some Western movies in terms of storytelling and editing. Unbeknownst to you the artworks that this small Asian country creates come ready made with the captions in English, plus a few other languages yet it's probably for the best you don't know that because the simple quality of the video takes your breath away.

Wait up though... these people can't possibly be human! How do they all look so fucking good? And how old are they? They look like fresh-faced mid-teens only they can all sing and dance? Oh, but HOLY SHIT CAN THEY RAP-RAP! [Looking at you Rapracha]. It is just impossible that these humans not only exist but most of them dance hardcore choreo whilst singing live too. Nah, nah, nah... it's all bullshit. AI is so fucking good now that these people aren't real.

That's pretty much how discovering K-pop didn't happen for me, an adult old enough to have student debt until I die, who will never own a home because fuck you baby boomers, and finds children to be more like crotch goblins designed to test every last one of the few nerves in my battered self that aren't fucked up by my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

My introduction was truly bizarre; I was married for 20 years - before my husband decided my disability meant he had free reign to fuck anyone who wanted him as I couldn't do it anymore - and my now ex-husband's co-worker had a daughter who wrote fanfics. Now, I was horribly, horribly naïve and rather dumb when I agreed to be a reader, editor and kind of coach for this girl. Not once in my entire life had 'fan fiction' come up in my bubble, I went into the whole endeavour genuinely believing that Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were Wattpad characters, not real people.

I thought they were like how Reddit has it's 'marriage counselling' and 'divorce' thing that everyone knows is said on that social media platform, or that Facebook has it's passive aggressive posts bitching about something, the baby daddy/mama drama fueled by said posts, the vague sympathy grabbing status updates and fake news, or X's hate trains. Having never heard of BTS (and by having done no googling beforehand) I went into it as if these weren't real people. To say the writing was atrocious from this teen was an understatement, and I was honest about it, figuring you don't ask someone for feedback if you don't want criticism. If all you wanted was read counts, votes and comments, I could have done that multiple times a day to boost you, which it turns out was pretty much exactly what she was really wanting.

Soon though, I was reading other books from the ones recommended at the end of my current read and it staggered me just how fucking good these books were. Some of them desperately deserve to be published in the conventional way with their highly detailed and provoking writing that I still return to time and time again. However, one glaring detail eventually stood out to me as I lay in a hospital bed with IV antibiotics in one arm and opioid IV in the other, having very, very little of importance to ponder, and one thing that stood out all of a sudden, and I couldn't avoid anymore, was how no one described the characters in terms of look and age; it was as if the writer assumed everyone reading knew what they looked like already...

Now my fucking dumbass was still thinking these were 'Wattpad characters', thus there would be a master document on the app with these details, right? Please bear in mind it had been a year or more that I had been living in the misconception fog thinking these weren't real people at that point, so a master list of characters to choose from simply made sense to me.

Yep, I am kind of stupid for assuming, and yep, I trawled the Wattpad help pages for far too many hours looking for this document or link to one, which admittedly gave me something to focus on as the cocktail of pharmaceuticals made me feel nauseous and also rather high. Am I just too trusting and gullible or can anyone else see my flawed logic here?

As it began to niggle more, seeing the references to South Korea (with the incredibly amusing American way of behaving ascribed to the country that was worlds different to the USA), with Seoul, Busan and Daegu all mentioned my singular lonely brain cell bounced around my skull sparking something off in there. That's when it dawned on me this could be a kpop thing and I finally googled the most common name from the stories, Jungkook, and felt like a bucket of ice water was tipped over my head as I realised that these people were real. Yeah, yikes 😬💀

It distressed me that I had been so blasé as to read these pieces without questioning the similarities. I was even considering becoming a co-writer for the first girl until that moment. Some of this can be explained by my condition during 2018 to 2019, with multiple hospital admissions due to infections or injuries from the Ehler-Danlos Syndrome. One of the infections almost killed me because it was missed for too long and had moved into early stage sepsis. There was no way I could focus on my normal book fare of Charles Dickens and thick, detailed history books and, being truly, truly frank, Wattpad saved my fucking sanity over those two daunting and harrowing years, never demanding more than my mind could handle with all the drugs being pushed into my system.

Plus there were hundreds of thousands of stories to pick from that weren't even Fanfic, about real people or other author's characters. Although I was careful as I was passionately determined to avoid anything that I would consider debauched and invasive, the mature content option was firmly turned off, and the first sign of smut had me gone! A few kisses or implied sexual conduct squeezed through but not full smut. Hello repressed religious trauma!. The amount of stories that were not flagged as Mature Content pissed me off then and pisses me off still.

Once the shock of finding out the truth was easing a little, I decided I needed to actually watch some BTS music videos to try and understand the craziness of it all. What I never expected was just how deep the songs were and are, nor how intellectual the entire industry is because who the fuck else is making music videos based around novels like Demian in the West?

I didn't realise in addition that not only Korean would sneak its way into my brain but that the whole idol industry is interwoven with its own language. This answered many questions I had about the common jargon such as comeback, lore, promotions, era, main, lead, sub, bias, bias wrecker/s, OT#, Big4, ult, PC (photo card), fan meets, Naver, Weverse, V-Live (rip to the GOAT), Chan's Room [*sniff* Baby, you aren't in any trouble, okay? Please just come home, we all miss you and love you, please, please come back!], 1/2/3/4th Gen, and more my messed up brain can't recall so late at night and after the various narcotics that I take to function.

And those narcotics are saying no more today!

So I shall see you in part two!